WEBVTT - You Left Your Chinchilla in My Uber

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<v Speaker 1>It's another jubile phone frames on the twenties. Hello, Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>Hello Luna, this is your Uber driver Pete Ekins from

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<v Speaker 1>the other night. How are you?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm okay, what's going on? Yep?

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<v Speaker 1>The other night you were in the back of my Uber. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>m h and so I was able to get your

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<v Speaker 1>phone number after the ride, and it's taken a few

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<v Speaker 1>days to call. But are you missing something?

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<v Speaker 2>What? Why are you calling me?

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<v Speaker 1>Well, because I pick you up no chinchilla, I drop

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<v Speaker 1>you off.

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<v Speaker 2>Chinchilla, chinchilla like the animal.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, are we just gonna play dumb because I'd pick

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<v Speaker 1>you up no chinchilla a chinchillas car and then drop

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<v Speaker 1>you off chinchilla all over the vehicle.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, I don't know what you're talking about.

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<v Speaker 1>You abandoned your chinchilla in the back of my Uber.

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<v Speaker 2>Wha.

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<v Speaker 1>You haven't called or emailed or tried to get a

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<v Speaker 1>hold of the right service company at all. And I'm

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<v Speaker 1>very upset because it's a cute little guy, and obviously

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<v Speaker 1>you use my Uber to try to offload your chinchilla

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<v Speaker 1>on somebody else.

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<v Speaker 2>That's ridiculous. I do not have a chinspilla.

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<v Speaker 1>Well you did before you got my car.

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<v Speaker 2>No, no, sirch o god.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, so you're gonna try to say that you'd never

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<v Speaker 1>had a chinchilla.

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<v Speaker 2>I've never had a chinchilla.

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<v Speaker 1>Then explain to me why I pick you up. No chinchilla,

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<v Speaker 1>I drop you off chinchilla.

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<v Speaker 2>I have no idea. Maybe there was already a chinchilla

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<v Speaker 2>in your car.

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<v Speaker 1>There was definitely no chinchilla in my car before you

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<v Speaker 1>got in, because I checked it and cleaned it actually,

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<v Speaker 1>and it was chinchilla. Lis, So come clean.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know what to tell you. I don't have

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<v Speaker 2>a chinchilla.

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<v Speaker 1>Mm hmm.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, So are we done here?

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<v Speaker 1>Nope, we are not done until you admit that you

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<v Speaker 1>left a chinchilla in the back of my oun.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, I do not have chinchilla.

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<v Speaker 1>H yes, you do now, because I where I dropped

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<v Speaker 1>you off, I'm assuming that was your house where I

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<v Speaker 1>dropped you off. Was it your house?

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<v Speaker 2>You know what? It's none of your business. Okay, So

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<v Speaker 2>you can take your chinchilla and go to hell. Well,

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<v Speaker 2>it's not mine.

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<v Speaker 1>Wherever I dropped you off, the window has been opened

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<v Speaker 1>and I put the chinchilla inside. What mm hm.

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<v Speaker 2>You went to the address that you dropped me off

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<v Speaker 2>at Did you just say you put it inside?

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<v Speaker 1>Yes? I did ten minutes ago. I dropped him back

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<v Speaker 1>home where it should be.

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<v Speaker 2>Dude, Okay, first of all, you need to confirm that

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<v Speaker 2>someone is actually the owner of a chinchilla where you

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<v Speaker 2>just go and put it inside? Are you crazy? That

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<v Speaker 2>was my grandmother's house. She's not freak out. She doesn't

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<v Speaker 2>even like tiny mice you are stuck in.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, you might want to call her and let her

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<v Speaker 1>know that she's watching your chinchilla for a little while,

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<v Speaker 1>just like you expect everybody to watch your chinchilla, even

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<v Speaker 1>Uber drivers.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh okay, well, how about I call Uber first and

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<v Speaker 2>tell them that you are a psychopath and that you

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<v Speaker 2>have no business being a driver anymore. She's gonna freak

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<v Speaker 2>the hell out.

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<v Speaker 1>I can't believe I pick you up, No chinchilla, I

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<v Speaker 1>drop you off?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah I know, I know, chinchilla. You know what? It

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<v Speaker 2>wasn't mine? And what am I thinking? I'm gonna call

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<v Speaker 2>the police because you broke into my grandmother's house and

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<v Speaker 2>put a live animal in her home?

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<v Speaker 1>All right, then I'm going to tell you it's a

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<v Speaker 1>prank phone call.

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<v Speaker 2>Then what?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, this is actually Jubil from The Jewbeil Show doing

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<v Speaker 1>a phone brank on you. Your best friend Lily set

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<v Speaker 1>you up, you little I'm a killer.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm a killer. Oh my god, my grandmother is gonna

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<v Speaker 2>have a heart.

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<v Speaker 1>There's no chinchilla in your grandma's house.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh jee, thank god.

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<v Speaker 1>Wake up every morning with Jubile phone pranks.