Speaker 1: Hello, Hey, what's up? Man? What's your name?
Speaker 2: Oh? No, fucking way, dude, my name is b B.
Speaker 1: What's going on? B has life? Man?
Speaker 2: Life? Bro? Oh I'm sorry, I'm geeking. I didn't dude.
Speaker 2: I've been listening to you for years. I never thought
Speaker 2: I would have seen your name pop over on my phone. Bro,
Speaker 2: what the fuck? This is crazy? This is crazy?
Speaker 1: Well, be we're here, Uh, it's December, whatever the year.
Speaker 1: Who cares? And we're both alive at this very moment,
Speaker 1: and we're connected now via a system of over Yeah,
Speaker 1: via a thing that is so deeply beyond our comprehension
Speaker 1: as to how it works that it would take us
Speaker 1: a lifetime. Maybe not a lifetime, but it would take
Speaker 1: us more time than either of us care to invest
Speaker 1: to really understand the technology behind how you and I
Speaker 1: are connected now. But it doesn't matter who care. We
Speaker 1: don't have to think about that stuff. All we have
Speaker 1: to do is be in this moment with each other.
Speaker 1: So let's do that. Ye, what's going on with you? B?
Speaker 1: What tell me about your life?
Speaker 2: I mean there's a lot going on right now, dude, honestly,
Speaker 2: but yeah, I mean yeah, there's a lot going on.
Speaker 2: I mean I DJ. I'm just I'm hustling on the side.
Speaker 2: I got three months paid off of my work as well,
Speaker 2: so that has been great. Just been going great.
Speaker 1: You got three months paid off of your work.
Speaker 2: Yeah, hell yeah, dude.
Speaker 1: Are you a teacher?
Speaker 2: No? No, So I work at the bank and I've
Speaker 2: found out about this program that my company offers when
Speaker 2: my coworkers told me about it, Like everyone in the
Speaker 2: company is taking it almost but you can file like
Speaker 2: it's called a leave of absence. I've been going to
Speaker 2: therapy actually thanks to your show for a while, and
Speaker 2: they told me that since I do go to therapy,
Speaker 2: I can just have my therapist sign up on some
Speaker 2: papers that's saying that I'm like I'm too anxious and
Speaker 2: I can't work and everything. So yeah, file had Really
Speaker 2: I've been getting paid. Yeah, Yeah, I've been off. I've
Speaker 2: been off for the last like two months. I'm supposed
Speaker 2: to go back end of this month, but I'm trying
Speaker 2: to see if i can get it extended to longer.
Speaker 1: So you can get a note from a therapist that
Speaker 1: tells you that you're too anxious to work, and then
Speaker 1: your job has to pay you for three months.
Speaker 2: Correct at least three months. Yeah, they pay you one
Speaker 2: hundred percent of your rate for three months and then
Speaker 2: after that you can get it extended, but it's only
Speaker 2: going to be at like eighty percent or something like that.
Speaker 1: What is that? This like a whose program is this?
Speaker 1: This can't be the bank's program. It's just like a
Speaker 1: government program.
Speaker 2: No, No, it's through the bank. But the bank company's
Speaker 2: partners with this third party company that does it, and
Speaker 2: they're the ones who are prove it or don't approve it.
Speaker 2: But that therapist pretty much just gave me the paperism
Speaker 2: was like, here, just just tell me what you want
Speaker 2: to say. I'll sign up on it.
Speaker 1: So wait, what's the incentive of the company to do that?
Speaker 2: Literally nothing, I guess, just to provide like a like
Speaker 2: a I don't know, honestly, just to provide time off
Speaker 2: for their employees who genuinely do like feel too anxious
Speaker 2: and sue because it is stressful working in the bank.
Speaker 2: You think we just like kind of punch numbers and
Speaker 2: get people cash and take cash from people and stuff
Speaker 2: like that. But it's so much deeper than that. There's
Speaker 2: so many different rules and regulations and they go do
Speaker 2: audits and shit like that. It actually is right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I'm sure it is. I guess my one
Speaker 1: My thing is, I'm just like, uh, it's a nice
Speaker 1: thing to do, but I don't know if banks are
Speaker 1: in the business of kindness, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I'm like, what is the There's gotta be something behind
Speaker 1: it of like why they're doing I'm just curious, you know,
Speaker 1: what's the third it's the third party that they're getting with.
Speaker 2: I don't want to say the name of the company
Speaker 2: and blow my spot up because I'm not even supposed
Speaker 2: to be. I'm not even supposed to be. I'm supposed
Speaker 2: to be in my little height hole in my room,
Speaker 2: away from the world, trying to trying to trying to
Speaker 2: get better and not be so.
Speaker 1: All right, well whatever, we don't have to talk about capitalism.
Speaker 1: We can talk about you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But I don't know. It's been going great during
Speaker 2: this time off. I've just been hustling, man. I'm learning
Speaker 2: how to day trade. I'm three D printing ship and
Speaker 2: I'm reselling it. Actually had a trade show here in
Speaker 2: about like two hours. I got ahead over there to
Speaker 2: go resell some three D printed ship and I DJ
Speaker 2: too as well. I've just been I've just been kind
Speaker 2: of moving and grooving, man, using this time to my advantage.
Speaker 1: You're learning how to day trade.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yep, like crypto, I'm doing like foreign exchange.
Speaker 2: So like okay, so you ever you ever look at
Speaker 2: like the race of like US dollars to like euros,
Speaker 2: like that exchange rate.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, no, I know, I know, I know four X.
Speaker 1: So you're like you're like watching the chart of like
Speaker 1: how many how many like Zimbabwe dollars are are going
Speaker 1: up and down and then trade them for Okay, now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because you can make money on that, on that
Speaker 2: value that changes all the time. You can make money
Speaker 2: on there.
Speaker 1: Have you how much money have you lost doing this?
Speaker 2: I mean trading overall or just in four X, because
Speaker 2: because in trading, I mean I've done I've gone anywhere
Speaker 2: from like doing stock to crypto to commodities like silver
Speaker 2: and gold and ship I've traded for a while, but
Speaker 2: with four X, I just started not too long ago.
Speaker 2: But I haven't. I haven't lost any real money in
Speaker 2: four X yet. I'm like trading. I'm trading with a
Speaker 2: simulated account. I'm going to challenge. They gave me an account
Speaker 2: with like one hundred grand and they had to make
Speaker 2: ten grand on it in like sixty days, and then
Speaker 2: I get to keep eighty percent of the profit that
Speaker 2: I make on the account.
Speaker 1: Okay, slow down, who First of who's they? And then
Speaker 1: is this real money?
Speaker 2: Uh, it's not real money in the account yet? And
Speaker 2: they it's called it's called it's called an FLMC. So
Speaker 2: they they like, you pay five hundred bucks and they
Speaker 2: give you an account with us with like one hundred
Speaker 2: grand in it of simulated money. And if you pass
Speaker 2: this challenge of making ten grand in the account, then
Speaker 2: after that they give you like a real account with
Speaker 2: real money, and then any money that you make in
Speaker 2: that account, then you get to keep eighty percent of it.
Speaker 1: You pay this company five hundred dollars and then they
Speaker 1: give you a They give you one hundred thousand dollars
Speaker 1: of fake money. And if you can turn that one
Speaker 1: hundred thousand dollars of fake money into one hundred and
Speaker 1: ten thousand dollars of fake money, then they will give
Speaker 1: you one hundred thousand dollars of real money that you
Speaker 1: can keep turn into real money, can try to real money,
Speaker 1: and then give them a percentage of the real money.
Speaker 2: Correct. Yes, sir, that is right.
Speaker 1: That's fascinating.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's dope as hell. It's called the f
Speaker 2: MC challenge.
Speaker 1: Now, so basically, they give you this money to be
Speaker 1: they give you this fake money to be like, all right,
Speaker 1: are you are you good at trading? And then there
Speaker 1: you are. Then they're like, okay, here's some money to
Speaker 1: trade with. But then but then okay, but here's the thing, right,
Speaker 1: isn't a lot okay four x right, and a lot
Speaker 1: of this trading stuff isn't a lot of it? Like luck?
Speaker 1: You know, So couldn't you theoretically with your fake money
Speaker 1: get lucky and then when they give you the real
Speaker 1: money just lose it all?
Speaker 2: I mean yeah, I mean at the end of the day,
Speaker 2: I always tell people who are interested in it, it's
Speaker 2: always a fifty to fifty chance either it going your
Speaker 2: way or not, because what you're really doing is just
Speaker 2: betting on on on on your currency or whatever you're trading,
Speaker 2: going up or down. At the end of the day,
Speaker 2: that's what it is. So you always have a fifty
Speaker 2: to fifty chance, But it always depends on like how
Speaker 2: many confirmations or how many things you can stack in
Speaker 2: your favor to give yourself a better chance, whether it
Speaker 2: be like an eighty twenty chance. You know what I'm saying,
Speaker 2: it's it's it's it's kind of that simple. Honestly, it's simple.
Speaker 2: It seems complex just because people see red and green
Speaker 2: candlesticks and there's charts and shit all over the screen,
Speaker 2: but it's actually very simple. No.
Speaker 1: But what I'm asking you. But what I'm asking you is,
Speaker 1: is it what's the difference between this and like, what
Speaker 1: is the difference between this and if I was like,
Speaker 1: all right, here's one thousand fake dollars to go to
Speaker 1: the casino with, and if you can make that into
Speaker 1: one hundred and ten thousand dollars, I'll give you real
Speaker 1: money to go to the casino with.
Speaker 2: I mean, I mean, I guess in that logic, it's
Speaker 2: kind of the same thing, pretty much the same.
Speaker 1: Okay, so it is. So it is still kind of gambling.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I'd say, I'd say just more aculated gambling,
Speaker 2: just because again I'm looking at different type of what
Speaker 2: we call indicators to kind of stack the odds in
Speaker 2: my favor versus like the house pretty much always wins.
Speaker 2: You know, with gambling, the house is pretty much going
Speaker 2: to win with a majority of the time. But I
Speaker 2: mean there's people who make who are like eighty percent
Speaker 2: accurate and they're making the killing. But I don't think
Speaker 2: you're going to be eighty percent accurate at the casino
Speaker 2: unless you're counting card or some shit.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you're trading, and are you I guess, I
Speaker 1: guess are you lifetime up in trading?
Speaker 2: I'd say I'm pretty break even. I'm not like a professional.
Speaker 2: I don't do it for a living. I mean, but
Speaker 2: I'm I'm just doing on the side, just trying to
Speaker 2: make some money, trying to beat this economy. Man, I'm
Speaker 2: trying to stack up as many things as I can
Speaker 2: to help me out. And thankfully I met a guy
Speaker 2: who who has made it, has who does do that
Speaker 2: for a living, and he believes in me enough to
Speaker 2: be able to like fund me and know what I'm saying,
Speaker 2: he bought that account for me and everything, so he's
Speaker 2: been kind of mentoring me.
Speaker 1: This ironically sounds more anxiety inducing than working at a bank.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's it's a different type of anxiety. I
Speaker 2: guess you could say. I mean, yeah, because happen to
Speaker 2: deal with people and then dealing with their problems, and
Speaker 2: you know people people hold their money to a certain
Speaker 2: standard and when shit is like not right in their account,
Speaker 2: they freak out and they flip out in front of
Speaker 2: everybody in the bank. That that can be Yeah, that
Speaker 2: can be a lot too, because I've had like six
Speaker 2: year old women come in and be like, I had
Speaker 2: one hundred thousand dollars in this bank. What the fuck
Speaker 2: you guys are charging me at three dollars fee. I'm like,
Speaker 2: bro fucking I can't help that. I don't make commission
Speaker 2: off of this. I don't. I don't, I don't, I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't get enjoyed in telling you that you gotta
Speaker 2: pay us five dollars a month to keep his killing.
Speaker 1: You're like that guy from South Park who's like, Okay,
Speaker 1: we'll take you one hundred thousand dollars and put it
Speaker 1: into a money market mutual fund and it's.
Speaker 2: Gone and it's gone. Yeah kind of yeah, that's what
Speaker 2: banking is pretty much.
Speaker 1: Uh, okay, So you're trading, Okay, So you this is
Speaker 1: I'm so fascinated by your situation. So that so that
Speaker 1: your bank. So you got a note from a therapist
Speaker 1: that tells your bank that they have to give you
Speaker 1: three months paid leave off and you're using it to
Speaker 1: trade commodities. That's the first thing, and then what are
Speaker 1: the other things.
Speaker 2: I'm just running a whole bunch of side quests, honestly, man.
Speaker 2: But I'm I'm, I'm, I'm. I've been three D printing
Speaker 2: like a whole bunch of cheesy holiday stuff, so like
Speaker 2: Santa hats and earrings and stuff like that. So I'm
Speaker 2: just three D printing items to resell at a trade show.
Speaker 2: And then I'm djaying too as well. On the side. Well,
Speaker 2: I've been I've been djaying for like ten plus years.
Speaker 2: I've done a whole bunch of different events for celebrities
Speaker 2: like Jamie Fox and shit like that. But I just
Speaker 2: I've been I moved states from California to Texas. I
Speaker 2: just have been kind of trying to grumb my name
Speaker 2: out here and it's been working. So yeah, just just
Speaker 2: there's three D printing stuff and then DJing.
Speaker 1: What so you said you used to dj for celebrities.
Speaker 1: How did you get involved in doing that?
Speaker 2: Just living in LA honestly, man, just just word to mouth.
Speaker 2: So I mean, I hate to too my own home,
Speaker 2: but I'm pretty good at what I do DJing, so
Speaker 2: a lot of people just they'll come up to me
Speaker 2: and be like, oh, hey, I got this gig, do
Speaker 2: you want to spin for this and this and that.
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, of course, I'll do it. And then
Speaker 2: usually from there again, it's like a domino effect, like
Speaker 2: I'll do one gig and then I'll get another gig
Speaker 2: from that gig, or like someone that followed me on
Speaker 2: Instagram from the gig or something. It's kind of just
Speaker 2: kind of just snowballs from there. M m.
Speaker 1: Okay, So what have been your recent DJ gigs?
Speaker 2: Last night, I've been, I've been. I've been a regular
Speaker 2: at this place out in Fort Worth. I'd spend there
Speaker 2: every Friday night. And then from there I met the
Speaker 2: owner of like one of their one of their other
Speaker 2: companies that the guy owns, so he wants me to
Speaker 2: start spending there on Saturday. But tonight I got to
Speaker 2: go DJ there after I finished selling this three D
Speaker 2: printing stuff at the show.
Speaker 1: What are you three D printing?
Speaker 2: Uh? Just a whole bunch of holiday stuff. So I
Speaker 2: got like like reindeer headbands, I got like snowflake eaterings,
Speaker 2: I got like Christmas tree ear rings. I got I
Speaker 2: printed out like a little like uh six seven uh.
Speaker 2: It's literally just like a pair of numbers assist sixty seven.
Speaker 2: And it has like the hand and like you can
Speaker 2: kind of flexible with the legs, so it's like a
Speaker 2: little like like a little action figure. I guess you
Speaker 2: could say I'm printing out like little mini Christmas trees
Speaker 2: and stuff like that, just cheesy little stuff that people
Speaker 2: will want to buy for their kids or for as gifts.
Speaker 2: I printed out like wallets too as well, like little
Speaker 2: cardholder wallets.
Speaker 1: M yeah, so what are you What are you anxious about?
Speaker 2: It was honestly just my job, man. It's just I
Speaker 2: don't know. While I'm there, I feel like, I mean,
Speaker 2: for a lack of better words, it's felt like a
Speaker 2: fucking loser, dude. I don't know. It's just like the
Speaker 2: people that I work with, they've been with the company
Speaker 2: for thirty years, thirty forty years in the same position,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, dude, I know I'm meant to do
Speaker 2: so much more than this, Like I don't want to
Speaker 2: be stuck, you know what I'm saying, Waiting for waiting
Speaker 2: for for wire come for me, and I just see
Speaker 2: it for Jamie Fox last year, Like you know what
Speaker 2: I'm saying, I felt like such a loser there. So
Speaker 2: it's just while I'm there, and then again, the customers
Speaker 2: that you got to do with are kind of unbearable.
Speaker 2: Like people come in pissed off and the systems are down,
Speaker 2: or like a lot of a lot of a lot
Speaker 2: of old people still come in the bank, so a
Speaker 2: lot of them are just s nile and wondering where
Speaker 2: this came from, or wondering whether the money goes or
Speaker 2: like like one of my last days, I remember while
Speaker 2: I was there, I had I had to stop this
Speaker 2: guy from sending out one hundred thousand dollars to PayPal.
Speaker 2: I was like, why the hell are you sending PayPal
Speaker 2: one hundred thousand dollars? And he was like, oh uh,
Speaker 2: they overcharged me for something from Macavie, so I'm sending
Speaker 2: the money back. I'm like, bro, what So he told
Speaker 2: me the whole story and he ended up almost getting
Speaker 2: scammed h because some guys did. They took over his
Speaker 2: computer and a whole bunch of stuff. So I ended
Speaker 2: up stopping that that was fraud going on. And it's
Speaker 2: just it's just a lot, man, a lot at listen.
Speaker 1: By the way, I just want to just so you know,
Speaker 1: I'm so with you. If so, I'm so with you
Speaker 1: because if because for it, Like, if you can get
Speaker 1: a bank to pay you for three months of not working,
Speaker 1: you should totally do that. You should you should totally
Speaker 1: do that, and then you should totally spend those three
Speaker 1: months trying to figure out how to make enough money
Speaker 1: that you don't have to go back to work at
Speaker 1: the bank. I'm very I think you have I'm I'm
Speaker 1: totally with you. I don't. I think I don't. I
Speaker 1: think this everything you're doing, weirdly makes a lot of
Speaker 1: sense to me because I think, what's everyone because everyone
Speaker 1: knows everyone knows that that and you got to be
Speaker 1: careful with it, I think. But like everyone knows that
Speaker 1: people are out there making all sorts of crazy money
Speaker 1: doing whatever the fuck four x crypto, whatever the fucking bullshit,
Speaker 1: whatever thing is. I mean, you've got to be careful
Speaker 1: that you're not what is it? You're not like gambling
Speaker 1: away all of your savings and money. But yeah, but
Speaker 1: you're smart because you're like, I'm gonna get some fucking
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do this simulated money, whatever the fuck thing
Speaker 1: as long as you're not risking a lot like it,
Speaker 1: like you seem like you've mitigated your risk and increased
Speaker 1: your upside. So I respect that. I respect that because
Speaker 1: you got to make you know, that's the thing, right is,
Speaker 1: if you want to not be like that guy who's
Speaker 1: been working at the bank for thirty years, you gotta
Speaker 1: make some swings. I respect it. And if you can,
Speaker 1: if you can get the if you can tell the
Speaker 1: bank that you're anxious and make and make the downside
Speaker 1: of taking your swings lower, you should totally do that
Speaker 1: ship exactly. I respect.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sometime I'm trying to reduce my nut and increase
Speaker 2: my income.
Speaker 1: So yeah, well it's hard out there, right because you
Speaker 1: need money to do everything that there is. And then mhm,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know, you're putting you like you're
Speaker 1: taking swings. I like it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, dude, I'm trying. You got to. I'm I'm
Speaker 2: I'm young right now, I'm I'm in a very unique
Speaker 2: position to where I can't take risks like this. I'm
Speaker 2: trying to take all the risks that I can, you
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying to be able to uh again,
Speaker 2: like you said, just not have to go back to
Speaker 2: work if I don't want to.
Speaker 1: You told me, you said that you're homeless. You said
Speaker 1: that in a text.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So so technically I was supposed to move out
Speaker 2: of my place like last week or two weeks now,
Speaker 2: like last week.
Speaker 3: And.
Speaker 2: Uh, my credit is shot thanks to my mom, so
Speaker 2: I can't really get approved for anywhere else. So they
Speaker 2: they technically I think they were supposed to kick me
Speaker 2: out last week. But I've been talking to them to
Speaker 2: see if I can just resign in my place now
Speaker 2: because they wouldn't have to do a credit check and
Speaker 2: I can just I can just move unit. But they
Speaker 2: haven't got back to me, so I'm kind of just like,
Speaker 2: I'm kind of just waiting nothing to kick me out
Speaker 2: or like if they're going to talk to the office
Speaker 2: people about like let me stay longer or something. So
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't really know. I don't really know
Speaker 2: what's going on with it. I'm kind of just waiting.
Speaker 1: How did your mom fuck up your credit?
Speaker 2: Shud. That's a whole another story too. Man. She's she's
Speaker 2: done a lot. So when back in like what like
Speaker 2: during during like COVID time a few years ago, she
Speaker 2: was like pretty suicidal and shit like that. And then
Speaker 2: on top of that, she had just had her car
Speaker 2: like repode, and she my mom is very like she's
Speaker 2: not a typical mom, Like she doesn't sew and knit
Speaker 2: and make hot chocolate and bake and shit like that.
Speaker 2: Like she she's kind of like a young mom. She
Speaker 2: had me young, so she's more or less worried about
Speaker 2: like her her her image on social media and to
Speaker 2: her friends and shit. So she she needed a car
Speaker 2: right away and wanted to get another car, but she
Speaker 2: couldn't obviously because she her credit was shot. She had
Speaker 2: just got a repost. So she had me put a
Speaker 2: car for her under my which I was already kind
Speaker 2: of skeptical about, but she I was like, I mean,
Speaker 2: it's my mom, you know what I'm saying. I got
Speaker 2: to help her out with all the stuff that she's
Speaker 2: going through. She's been through for me. So I signed
Speaker 2: my name for a car for her, and it went
Speaker 2: well for a while, but then I started getting calls
Speaker 2: and saying that she was like laid on the payment
Speaker 2: or that she had missed a payment and everything. So
Speaker 2: the car ended up ended up getting repote, and that
Speaker 2: shit ding my credit really hard, and then as well,
Speaker 2: on top of that, during COVID time, I don't know
Speaker 2: if you remember, but they were doing some type of
Speaker 2: like rent assistance program, so it's like you couldn't pay
Speaker 2: your rent air quotes, they would cover your rent during
Speaker 2: COVID if you did all this paperwork and talk to
Speaker 2: the leasing office. Did it's like shit, And apparently she was.
Speaker 2: She was doing that, but she never finished up the process.
Speaker 2: So once we moved out, I got a ding on
Speaker 2: my credit for like forty thousand dollars and like due
Speaker 2: rent because she didn't finish the paperwork and all that.
Speaker 2: So it's like technically on paper I got, I got
Speaker 2: a car reponent in my name for her, and then
Speaker 2: I got like forty thousand dollars in like due rent
Speaker 2: for this place that she kind of screwed me on
Speaker 2: too as well. And on top of that, she took
Speaker 2: out like three or four different iPhone lines in my
Speaker 2: name and just kind of kept the phones and never
Speaker 2: like returned them. So I got I got digged for
Speaker 2: that too.
Speaker 1: So you said she's obsessed with social media.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, she's. Yeah, she's on TikTok live and shit
Speaker 2: like that.
Speaker 1: Like what's she doing?
Speaker 2: She I mean, she just she's she's just she just
Speaker 2: wants to be an influencer. I think she owns like
Speaker 2: her own medical spot, so she's like kind of advertising
Speaker 2: for that. But I think she kind of just got
Speaker 2: lost in thoughts and now she's just trying to be
Speaker 2: like an influencer. So she'll like go TikTok live and
Speaker 2: go to pilates and shit like that.
Speaker 1: Okay, I mean, is it working for her or is
Speaker 1: it like a detriment to her existence in yours?
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't really know. I don't really ask
Speaker 2: her if she's getting paid from it or anything like that.
Speaker 2: I just I just know that she's doing her She's
Speaker 2: talked to me about it before. I was like, okay,
Speaker 2: it's cool. I just I don't know. The credit shit
Speaker 2: has stopped me from doing a lot in my life.
Speaker 2: Like I wanted to get a new motorcycle because I
Speaker 2: ride bikes and I wanted to get another one, but
Speaker 2: I can't, obviously, because no one will approve me. I
Speaker 2: wanted to trade in my car and I can't. I
Speaker 2: wanted to move into a new apartment. I can't. So
Speaker 2: it's like, shit that she's done is really kind of
Speaker 2: hindered me like a lot.
Speaker 1: Actually, how's your guys' relationship in general?
Speaker 2: It was good, it was good, but i'd say, after
Speaker 2: this and like another incident that happened, is just I
Speaker 2: don't know, it's not the same. It's not the same,
Speaker 2: Like we're all right. Like she'll I'll call her randomly
Speaker 2: and she never answers, but then she'll text me and
Speaker 2: like say with stuff and shit like that. But I
Speaker 2: mean it's cool. I mean, she she sends me from
Speaker 2: like money for groceries and shit if I really really
Speaker 2: need it, because I hate asking for help, Like that's
Speaker 2: one thing about me that I need to work on,
Speaker 2: but I fucking hate asking for help. But I was
Speaker 2: just super down bade one day and I was like, look,
Speaker 2: I don't have any groceries in my house. You know
Speaker 2: what I'm saying. I can't eat, so I need to
Speaker 2: get some food. So she sent me some money for groceries.
Speaker 2: So I mean, maybe she's trying to get better, trying
Speaker 2: to be there for me, but it's just I don't
Speaker 2: know's she's she screwed me in a really big way
Speaker 2: that like it's hard to just do life, you know
Speaker 2: what I'm saying. It's kind of hard to forget her
Speaker 2: for all that.
Speaker 1: M h are you only child?
Speaker 2: I have a stepsister that I don't I've never really
Speaker 2: got along with.
Speaker 1: But yeah, so your mom's remarried. No, no, well was
Speaker 1: your dad's remarried?
Speaker 2: No? No, my real dad was locked up. And then
Speaker 2: she met this one dude who's been in my life.
Speaker 2: He's a ship, but yeah, he was in my life
Speaker 2: since I was born, and he had a kid with
Speaker 2: my mom, and then they got divorced and then we
Speaker 2: moved away and then.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, so yeah you go oya. She's a half sister.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, mm hmm.
Speaker 1: And she doesn't live where you live.
Speaker 3: Nah.
Speaker 2: My whole family's kind of pretty divided, so I mean
Speaker 2: we don't really that's another thing. Like on holidays, I'll
Speaker 2: just spend them by myself and ship. But now she
Speaker 2: lives out in Louisiana. She goes to LSU. My mom
Speaker 2: lives out in Houston.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Your mom's in Houston, and where are you?
Speaker 2: I'm not in like the like the DFW area.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, right, that's not that far, but yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it's a whole city away.
Speaker 2: Ye, Like it's like a five hour drive.
Speaker 1: Yeah, hm hmm. So do you So do you have
Speaker 1: like any do your friend's family, like who's around, who's
Speaker 1: around Dallas?
Speaker 2: I mean, honestly, it's just kind of just me and
Speaker 2: my pets against the world. Man.
Speaker 3: I don't really.
Speaker 2: I don't really. I mean, I I have some some
Speaker 2: people like I'm cool with, but I don't really Like
Speaker 2: it's no, there's nobody in my life that I can
Speaker 2: kind of just call and kind of just shoot the
Speaker 2: ship with, you know what I'm saying. That's just I'll
Speaker 2: see people like like my DJ gigs, then I'll be like, oh, hey,
Speaker 2: what's up. Like we'll be cool. But it's nobody that
Speaker 2: I can just go, I don't know, just go to
Speaker 2: the movies or go paintballing with. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: There's nobody in my life like that I had. I
Speaker 2: had a girlfriend, but that that ship went at that situation.
Speaker 1: With what did you grow up in DFW?
Speaker 2: No, I grew up in in In. I grew up
Speaker 2: in LA like Los Angeles area.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, wow, why'd you move to Texas?
Speaker 2: Uh? Kind of just to get away?
Speaker 1: Man.
Speaker 2: Honestly, it's just I just I saw the.
Speaker 1: I did.
Speaker 2: Everything was just getting so expensive, and I knew a
Speaker 2: guy that was making like six figures a year and
Speaker 2: he was still living paycheck to paycheck. So I'm like,
Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't know how the hell I'm
Speaker 2: going to do this. So I kind of moved away
Speaker 2: just to kind of, yeah.
Speaker 1: Do that.
Speaker 2: And obviously Texas was the promised Land after COVID. Everybody
Speaker 2: was like, I'm moving to Texas, so I kind of
Speaker 2: I joined. I'm a transplant.
Speaker 1: And what happened with your girlfriends? Man?
Speaker 2: A lot a lot? Honestly, she just she just I mean,
Speaker 2: the latest update is she's just crazy, like abusive. So
Speaker 2: she she caught herself like putting her hands on me
Speaker 2: and ship so I could call the cops. After the
Speaker 2: third time, like the first time, I was like, okay,
Speaker 2: maybe you know I'm saying I kind of put the
Speaker 2: blame on myself, but I knew it wasn't okay for
Speaker 2: her to be putting her hands on me because again,
Speaker 2: I grew up in a household that was that was
Speaker 2: full of domestic violence. That's the reason why I said
Speaker 2: fuck my stepdad because he was like that, so I
Speaker 2: know what that situation is like. So for so for
Speaker 2: her to put her hands on me, it was kind
Speaker 2: of like a lot. And then she did it a
Speaker 2: second time, and then she did a third time. So
Speaker 2: I might not screw that dude. I called the cops.
Speaker 2: So mm hmm mmm.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I can't How old are you?
Speaker 2: I'm twenty five, so fow.
Speaker 1: Okay, did you? Did you? So you don't have any
Speaker 1: like a whole you don't have any sense of community
Speaker 1: out that because you're doing a lot of stuff right,
Speaker 1: Like like you talk about like seeing people, seeing people
Speaker 1: as a DJ gigs, Like how is that?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 1: Are you like build like you're out right?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 2: I mean, I mean I'm out, but I'm not really
Speaker 2: like out, you know what I'm saying. So, so I
Speaker 2: go to the spot every Friday night and I DJ,
Speaker 2: but it's just me behind the I'm just by myself
Speaker 2: playing music and stuff. And occasionally I'll get like a
Speaker 2: drunkerl will come up and be like, oh, DJ, don't
Speaker 2: take videos with me and shit. But I mean the
Speaker 2: end of the night, I'm still sleeping by myself. I
Speaker 2: don't really have like a sense of community when I
Speaker 2: I mean I did when I was riding motorcycles, I
Speaker 2: will go to a motorcycle meet like a damn near
Speaker 2: every day, So that community was pretty deep. But I mean,
Speaker 2: now that it's cold, it's too cold to ride, everybody's
Speaker 2: kind of just in hibernation or they're just hanging a
Speaker 2: month like their own kind of people, and it's just
Speaker 2: kind of me. I'm just here here just doing my
Speaker 2: side quest.
Speaker 3: Man.
Speaker 1: This in general, I mean the next four months in
Speaker 1: general kind of just suck because it's cold.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean there's still stuff to do. I mean,
Speaker 2: I'm a pretty weird guy. I'm into weird stuff. So
Speaker 2: ill I've been seeing a whole bunch of different events
Speaker 2: that I want to go to. Like there's a Simil
Speaker 2: wrestling events out out in Texas I want to go watch.
Speaker 2: It's a huge sumo fest that I want to go watch.
Speaker 2: And there's also like ren Fest and stuff like that,
Speaker 2: so I can. I'll find stuff to enter myself. It's
Speaker 2: just I don't know, I lacked that sense of like community,
Speaker 2: even like with family and with friends, I don't really
Speaker 2: have like a community around me. And I mean it's
Speaker 2: I mean it's I think it's lonely. But I mean
Speaker 2: I'm here. I'll tough it out. I got my pets
Speaker 2: to kind of keep the company.
Speaker 1: But what pets do you have?
Speaker 2: I got two cats and two dogs. I got a
Speaker 2: pug and a frenchy M.
Speaker 1: Very cute.
Speaker 2: Yeah nice, Yeah, I'm my little guys. M. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Community is really important having people around you, is I
Speaker 1: I have noticed I think over let's see, I'm about
Speaker 1: to turn twenty eight, and I've been thinking about my
Speaker 1: life and things I've learned. And one of the things
Speaker 1: that I have learned, at least for me, and everyone's
Speaker 1: kind of different, but I've learned over the course of
Speaker 1: my life the importance of like having somewhere to go,
Speaker 1: a third space as they call it, because the times
Speaker 1: in my life where I've had something like that, I
Speaker 1: can distinct divide in my life times where I had
Speaker 1: something like that and times where I didn't, and the
Speaker 1: times where I didn't have something like that, which they
Speaker 1: just were cold, you know, like you got to have
Speaker 1: somewhere to somewhere to be where there's other people around.
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, I've talked about this a bunch
Speaker 1: on here, but yeah, it's very important. And they're they're
Speaker 1: out there, you know, they're out there.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I just I just gotta keep keep looking.
Speaker 2: I mean, I found a whole bunch of cool stuff
Speaker 2: to do, but like you said, it's just the community part.
Speaker 2: I just got to figure out where to go to
Speaker 2: find people that are as weird as me. So, I mean,
Speaker 2: I mean, I found this one place. It's called the
Speaker 2: maker Space. It's out here with a time. I don't
Speaker 2: know if you know, I don't know if you know
Speaker 2: what a maker space is, but.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, there is. They're a chain, aren't they.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know if this place specifically
Speaker 2: is a chain. But a maker space is I mean
Speaker 2: a maker space Yeah, in general, Yeah, typically is like
Speaker 2: a thing that's in different cities. But the one I
Speaker 2: go to specifically, I think it's just that just that company,
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. But but but there are
Speaker 2: other maker spaces, yeah, correct.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I'm kind of I'm sort of part
Speaker 1: of a maker space. I guess there's a lot around
Speaker 1: New York where it's like whatever you pay, you pay
Speaker 1: uh some kind of monthly fee and they have like
Speaker 1: equipment that you can use and ship like that exactly.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the reason.
Speaker 2: Why I'm running. Yeah, it's dope, dude, and they have
Speaker 2: classes on everything. I'm actually teaching a class. I'm kind
Speaker 2: of DJ on Sunday. Uh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: That's great.
Speaker 2: That'd be pretty cool.
Speaker 1: That's great.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it'd be cool.
Speaker 1: Great, that's awesome.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: You just you just joined this you just joined to
Speaker 1: this maker space.
Speaker 2: Uh No, I've been a member there for a while,
Speaker 2: but I just I kind of used it previously as
Speaker 2: like as like a means to start a business. Self
Speaker 2: was doing powder coding there now and doing like three
Speaker 2: D printing, and I think next I'm going to start
Speaker 2: this whole DJ class adventure because that's where the real
Speaker 2: money is too, as well as like teaching people how
Speaker 2: to do how to do djaying stuff. I feel like
Speaker 2: a lot of people be interested in that. So it's
Speaker 2: using the space to make some money. Man. Honestly, have you.
Speaker 1: Made any friends of the space or at least like acquaintances.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've met some acquaintances, and for sure I'm on
Speaker 2: like first name bases with some people. But it's not
Speaker 2: like it's not again, it's not anything that's gonna be like, oh,
Speaker 2: it's go grab a beer or something like that. It's
Speaker 2: more or less like you see each other in a
Speaker 2: space like, oh, hey, what are you working on today? Okay, cool,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go through my thing there.
Speaker 1: Dude, I'm about to drop an unpopular opinion.
Speaker 2: What's up?
Speaker 1: Hit me? And I actually don't know if I believe
Speaker 1: in this, but this is just I feel. I I
Speaker 1: almost think it's better to have a lot of acquaintances.
Speaker 2: Do you think so?
Speaker 1: I don't think so. I almost think so. I'm because
Speaker 1: like if you have like two for like, I think,
Speaker 1: like if you can go into a place right and
Speaker 1: there's like twenty people and you're fairly friendly with them,
Speaker 1: and you see them every day and you know, you
Speaker 1: hang out with them, but like when you go home,
Speaker 1: you're alone and maybe whatever, maybe there's like a social
Speaker 1: event and you're there whatever, versus like a couple people
Speaker 1: that you know you get. I don't. I guess ideally
Speaker 1: you have both. Ideally you have like a couple people
Speaker 1: who you're like really really close with and then a
Speaker 1: lot of acquaintances. But I really I think you know
Speaker 1: what it comes from is like I just like having
Speaker 1: like a place where you go and you have like
Speaker 1: a bunch of people, like like back when I did
Speaker 1: like open mics stand up and stuff that was a
Speaker 1: big thing. It's like you just go you have a
Speaker 1: bunch of acquaintances because you're just around this thing and
Speaker 1: even like being part of like a maker space, Like again,
Speaker 1: you have a bunch of acquaintances. I'm almost like it
Speaker 1: makes you an't it makes you feel like you exist?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, it is dope being surrunning around other people
Speaker 2: who are creative and they're working on things too good.
Speaker 2: It's a very I don't want to say it's like
Speaker 2: a niche thing to be creative. Nowadays, it kind of
Speaker 2: is a lot of people are just are just boxed
Speaker 2: and just walking around just going to work, waking up,
Speaker 2: going to work, going to sleep, waking up, going to work,
Speaker 2: going to sleep. Like people is a loss in that loop.
Speaker 2: So it's kind of cool to find people and be
Speaker 2: around people at least acquainted with people who are also
Speaker 2: being creative too as well. I mean it, it does.
Speaker 2: It feels good when I'm there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well you're I mean, yeah, you're I like what
Speaker 1: you're doing because again you're gaming the system, which you
Speaker 1: have to do. You have to do that in some way,
Speaker 1: shape or form to a vul the company offers it.
Speaker 2: I mean it sucks. Your manager obviously doesn't like when
Speaker 2: you're missing work for three months because they're short staffed already.
Speaker 2: But hey, if the company offers it and improve it,
Speaker 2: it's kind of it's kind of it's kind of out
Speaker 2: of their hands.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, But you get one life, you know what,
Speaker 1: I mean, you should to you get what. It's weird,
Speaker 1: right because you get one you get one life. And
Speaker 1: on one hand, that's like, uh, there's something very uh
Speaker 1: there's a great challenge to that. I'm like, oh, should
Speaker 1: I get one life? I should make my own existence?
Speaker 1: But you you have to all you have to do
Speaker 1: that in spite of the fact that, uh, you need
Speaker 1: you need a lot of money to just exist. So
Speaker 1: you have you know, so if look, if you can
Speaker 1: get the I need the money to exist thing as
Speaker 1: under control, as under control as possible, without as under
Speaker 1: control as possible, using as little of your finite time
Speaker 1: and energy as possible, then do it. You know, whatever
Speaker 1: on go on welfare, fucking steal through the people. Don't
Speaker 1: do that, you know, don't do that. I mean ideal, Look, ideally,
Speaker 1: ideally we live in a system where our basic needs
Speaker 1: are uh met more easily. But I guess I'm always like,
Speaker 1: I'm always like, I'd like to it would be cool
Speaker 1: to live in a system where people didn't have to
Speaker 1: do that. But as long as we do figure out
Speaker 1: some way to do it that requires the least amount
Speaker 1: of your energy.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm, yeah, yeah, I agree. I agree. And with
Speaker 2: the way that AI and robots and shit's going, we're
Speaker 2: gonna be in wally r I robuts and so we
Speaker 2: don't even have two words. I guess do you.
Speaker 1: Do use AI for anything?
Speaker 2: I mean, I use AI to find a bunch of
Speaker 2: different places out in like the DFW area where I
Speaker 2: can DJYT and I'll have it right the I'll have it,
Speaker 2: get the contact information for those places, give me their
Speaker 2: emails in a list, and I'll copy and paste their
Speaker 2: emails into like a like a mass blast email, and
Speaker 2: then I'll use the AI to write me like a
Speaker 2: short and suite introduction interest email to send out to
Speaker 2: them to see if I can DJ there. So yeah,
Speaker 2: I mean, I use it a little bit. I use
Speaker 2: it in my favor stuff like that.
Speaker 1: That's cool. Do do this though, because I get all
Speaker 1: kinds of like AI I get, so I get a
Speaker 1: ton of fucking emails to my inbox that are like
Speaker 1: where I can tell that they're AI uh or I
Speaker 1: can tell that they like I'll get like, hell, I'll
Speaker 1: get a lot of emails and say like hello therapy.
Speaker 1: You know, like they just like scan you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, They just like scanned like the first thing.
Speaker 2: Whatever.
Speaker 1: So like, if you're gonna use AI to masks make
Speaker 1: your emails or whatever, change the at least the change
Speaker 1: at least one part of it to make it be like, hey,
Speaker 1: I am sending this email to you, you know, because
Speaker 1: I fucking when I get I hate when I get
Speaker 1: something that I can but whether it's whether it was
Speaker 1: written with AI or even if it's just like someone
Speaker 1: sharing a meme with me. I hate when I get
Speaker 1: something where it's like I can tell you I'm just
Speaker 1: one of like a hundred people you fucking sent this to.
Speaker 1: You know that that chip is.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I'll change up the verbiage and everybody down again.
Speaker 2: So if I'm like sending out emails to strip clubs
Speaker 2: that I can DJ, I'll change like the I'll change
Speaker 2: the subject line and like a little bit of like
Speaker 2: the examples of gigs that I've done, or if I'm
Speaker 2: setting out uh, an email to like some skating rinks
Speaker 2: that are near me that I want to DJ at.
Speaker 2: I'll change up like the gigs and the example to
Speaker 2: something of music that I play and stuff like that,
Speaker 2: so I'll tailor it to the to the audience, the
Speaker 2: people that I'm that I'm emailing out to. I'm just
Speaker 2: using it as like a marketing tactic because I mean,
Speaker 2: it's half the battle is trying to find people that
Speaker 2: that do want to book you because I can. I
Speaker 2: can keep a gig for sure. I mean, I have
Speaker 2: no problem with that. Again, I'm pretty good at what
Speaker 2: I do, so once I kid the gig, I'm good
Speaker 2: at keeping it. But it's just getting the gigs is
Speaker 2: like half the battle.
Speaker 1: Do you like us all? Do you do? You post
Speaker 1: your own mixes on online and stuff?
Speaker 2: I mean, I'll go live on TikTok every now and again.
Speaker 2: It's just I'm not that big of like a social
Speaker 2: media guy to like try to go in and edit
Speaker 2: videos and set up tripods and ship like that. That's not
Speaker 2: really like my thing. I mean, I know, within DJA
Speaker 2: you kind of need to do that, but yeah, I
Speaker 2: don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Uh, yeah, you do it's unfortunately. Well that's the thing is,
Speaker 1: you can can't really be like, I'm not a social
Speaker 1: media guy anymore. You know what's hard is like there's
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna here's the thing is, there's it's not
Speaker 1: going anywhere well because you have you have to make
Speaker 1: concessions in some way, shape or form. Because it's like
Speaker 1: you could if like if you're like an artist of
Speaker 1: some kind and you want to be like a bit
Speaker 1: of a purist, it's like it's like a like, if
Speaker 1: you're an artist, you probably I mean not everyone, right,
Speaker 1: not everyone. Some people are totally okay with just like
Speaker 1: making the thing for the thing's sake, and that's fine,
Speaker 1: and you know, there's even some virtue to that. I
Speaker 1: think in my in my soul, I think there's some
Speaker 1: virtue of that. I have. I have a lot of
Speaker 1: respect for people do that. But most, I think the
Speaker 1: majority of artists or the majority of people who like
Speaker 1: are working really hard to make something. They would like
Speaker 1: to a make money doing it so that they can
Speaker 1: keep doing it and so that they can and you know,
Speaker 1: do the things that you need to do a make
Speaker 1: money doing it and be have people see it, right,
Speaker 1: because like you work so fucking hard to make videos,
Speaker 1: make music, make paintings, make whatever like you want, you
Speaker 1: want you and you like you're making these things because
Speaker 1: you are trying to express you. You're trying to make
Speaker 1: your existence valid in some way, shape or form by creating,
Speaker 1: and so you want people to see it, you know.
Speaker 1: It's it's like very natural to want people to see
Speaker 1: your work if you're working hard on it. And the
Speaker 1: main way to accomplish those two kind of directives of
Speaker 1: an artist are are through social media.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's another layer two as well. While I'm
Speaker 2: kind of awful work, I think once I get my
Speaker 2: moving situation kind of planned out, that's what I planned
Speaker 2: on doing too as well. It's just like you ever
Speaker 2: like roll across some of those tiktoks where it's like
Speaker 2: a DJ and like a random place of like a
Speaker 2: kitchen or like their apartment or something that's kind of
Speaker 2: just vibing with a few friends in DJ, and she's
Speaker 2: like that, I'm thinking about doing something like that, just
Speaker 2: setting up like my mixture of like my island and
Speaker 2: my kitchen, yeah, and just playing for like a little
Speaker 2: kick that kind of thing, and using that as like
Speaker 2: content to spread out I'm thinking about doing that, and.
Speaker 1: I also figure it and you also actually bring up
Speaker 1: a good, uh counterpoint to everything I'm saying now I'm
Speaker 1: thinking about it is like, uh, in a weird way
Speaker 1: with something like what you do, I actually actually I'm
Speaker 1: I'm gonna completely take back everything I just said. Maybe
Speaker 1: not everything, but I'll be like, because what you do
Speaker 1: right where you DJ and you can like throw parties
Speaker 1: or like whatever, if you're an artist and you you know,
Speaker 1: throw a little gallery or whatever. If you can get
Speaker 1: ten human beings in real life to perceive your work,
Speaker 1: or if you're making a movie or a video, you
Speaker 1: can get twenty people to like sit in a room
Speaker 1: and watch it. That actually that weirdly feels more real
Speaker 1: than getting like twenty thousand Internet views. And then if
Speaker 1: doing what you're saying, if you can combine those two things,
Speaker 1: it's cool.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that'd be ideal, because I mean I've DJed
Speaker 2: for a coliseum, like a stadium worth of people, and
Speaker 2: then I always find out that like it feels more intimate,
Speaker 2: it feels more good. But I'm tjing for like a
Speaker 2: small intimate crowd of people. So I mean, yeah, I
Speaker 2: agree with what you're.
Speaker 1: Saying, yeah, so maybe you don't need social maybe just
Speaker 1: maybe you just need five people willing to listen to
Speaker 1: your thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's I mean, I get paid the spots that
Speaker 2: I DJ. I get paid if five people show up
Speaker 2: or five people or five hundred people show ups, I
Speaker 2: mean matter to me. But obviously I mean I DJ.
Speaker 2: I prefer to just spend for people who for people,
Speaker 2: not for their cricket.
Speaker 1: Now, tell me about these strip club gigs? What are
Speaker 1: they like?
Speaker 2: I mean they're cool. They're cool. I've did on multiple
Speaker 2: different like types of gigs, but strip club gigs are cool.
Speaker 2: I mean you get the dancers up to you, like
Speaker 2: request a song or like to tip you to play
Speaker 2: a certain song and stuff like that. I mean it's good,
Speaker 2: it's cool. It's a cool vibe. Mm hmm, it's pretty cool.
Speaker 2: That's pretty cool, and you get a good show. Like
Speaker 2: you're DJing.
Speaker 1: What's that? What's your what's your craziest gig You've ever done?
Speaker 2: The craziest as far as like who I've DJed for
Speaker 2: or just like crazy and like the amount of people
Speaker 2: or like the events that occurred in the in the
Speaker 2: in the gig.
Speaker 3: Let's go both, uh, I mean, I guess I've DJed
Speaker 3: for uh for for Netflix before, for when they like
Speaker 3: their movie screening kind of opening parties.
Speaker 2: I DJ for Netflix. That DJ for Yeah, I did
Speaker 2: it for Netflix. For for Jamie Fox at his house
Speaker 2: a few different times, a DJ for fifty cent at
Speaker 2: a at an opening of a show that he was
Speaker 2: doing for Power. He had like a little pop up
Speaker 2: kind of event and DJ four I got to see
Speaker 2: him and say with something ship like that DJ for
Speaker 2: celebrities and so with the so on that end. But
Speaker 2: the craziest, I mean, I guess that's the DJ like
Speaker 2: the warehouse out in LA. Actually know the crazy is
Speaker 2: probably that I've done was at this TGI Fridays in
Speaker 2: my hometown when I was growing up. They had shut down,
Speaker 2: UH and these people that I knew, we were just
Speaker 2: kind of desperate for money, so they were just kind
Speaker 2: of breaking in and just doing gigs anywhere that they could.
Speaker 2: So they we kind of we broke into this TGI
Speaker 2: Fridays that was abandoned and they still had power, and
Speaker 2: we broke in there and then we set up my
Speaker 2: whole DJ said we had people like coming party in
Speaker 2: the in the abandoned TGI Fridays when the swat team
Speaker 2: showed up and should they kicked us out? We had
Speaker 2: the police helicopters coming out. I just got my mixture
Speaker 2: and I didn't wait.
Speaker 1: You had a police helicopter kick you out of the
Speaker 1: TGI Fridays. What the fuck? Yeah?
Speaker 2: In this like the swat team came and shipped the
Speaker 2: big ass bear cat. Yeah, they kicked this ou.
Speaker 1: Why'd they call they? Why did they bring in a helicopter?
Speaker 2: I don't know. I mean, I mean in l A.
Speaker 2: I I DJ a lot out in LA, and they're
Speaker 2: kind of famous for that. Like all the house parties
Speaker 2: stuff that have got shut down, and I'm DJ four,
Speaker 2: they usually bring a bring a police helicopter. I don't
Speaker 2: know why that is, but yeah, almost all the house
Speaker 2: parties that have ended like kind of crazily have ended
Speaker 2: up with the with the police helicopter coming to shut
Speaker 2: it down.
Speaker 1: Why did you? I am I am curious. It sounds
Speaker 1: like you had a pretty good thing going to LA.
Speaker 1: Why did you move to Texas if you had more
Speaker 1: connections over there?
Speaker 2: I mean just because at that time I was young,
Speaker 2: was making a lot of money. I had a sugar
Speaker 2: mama and shit like that I was young making a
Speaker 2: lot of money, but I was just again, I knew
Speaker 2: a guy who was making six figures and he was
Speaker 2: living paycheck at paycheck. So I was like, I got
Speaker 2: to get my shit together. I need a four to
Speaker 2: one K. I need to save his account, I need
Speaker 2: health insurance and stuff like that. So I kind of
Speaker 2: like matured in that sense, but like now that I'm
Speaker 2: in it, and I'm like, damn, that sucks. I'd rather
Speaker 2: just be DJ and TGF Fridays. Yeah, yeah, I kind
Speaker 2: of touched twenty two And then.
Speaker 1: I guess I'm sorry. You had a sugar mama.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I've Yeah, I've had. I've had like two
Speaker 2: or three of them in my lifetimes.
Speaker 1: But what does that entail? I mean?
Speaker 2: I mean she she was a she was a porn star,
Speaker 2: and I had met her, and she she wanted to
Speaker 2: she wanted to to pay me for some sugar, and
Speaker 2: and she did for a while, and I was making
Speaker 2: really good money actually too as well, making really good
Speaker 2: money with her. We would just hang out, kind of
Speaker 2: shoot the shit a little bit right in a hotel
Speaker 2: room and then do the thing and go my separate ways.
Speaker 1: I have I have a lot of questions to follow
Speaker 1: up to this, I'd imagine, how did you meet this
Speaker 1: porn star?
Speaker 2: Uh? So I had gotten to a car accident some
Speaker 2: years ago. Yeah, I had gotten into a car accident
Speaker 2: and I had to go to physical therapy, and my
Speaker 2: physical therapist there was kind of hitting on me. And
Speaker 2: again I don't mean to too bune a horn, but
Speaker 2: like I'm I'm I'm six five, I'm I'm athletic, I'm
Speaker 2: a good looking dude. I've been told a few times.
Speaker 2: So my physical therapist was kind of hitting on me
Speaker 2: a little bit, like she was massaged me like a
Speaker 2: little bit longer than she really needed to, and do
Speaker 2: these extra exercises with me. And she was like one day,
Speaker 2: she randomly just came out and said it. She's like,
Speaker 2: you know who I am? And I was like no,
Speaker 2: and she was like google my name and she gave
Speaker 2: me her name and I googled it and she was
Speaker 2: a porn star. I was like, oh shit, and I
Speaker 2: was like that's you know way and she was like yeah.
Speaker 2: She was like would you be interested in getting into
Speaker 2: like that industry? And at that time I was like, dude,
Speaker 2: hell yeah, it's like every dude's dream yeah, hell yeah.
Speaker 2: I was like, I was like, eighteen nineteen twenty, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna getting paid to do what I'm trying to do
Speaker 2: all the time anyway, Hell yeah. So I mean yeah,
Speaker 2: I took to dive. I went into it at and
Speaker 2: at one of the auditions I think she had me
Speaker 2: show up to with like a test fund and just
Speaker 2: kind of see what's really like behind the scenes of
Speaker 2: like a porno. I had went and there was this
Speaker 2: lady who was shooting a scene and immediately, like as
Speaker 2: soon as she saw me, she said to the director guy,
Speaker 2: she was like, I want to fuck him. She said,
Speaker 2: he was like, who is that? He is gorgeous. And
Speaker 2: I heard her say and I kind of like blushed up.
Speaker 2: It was weird. I never had like a grown ass
Speaker 2: woman just out where me say that to me. So
Speaker 2: I ended up, but you ended up kind of shooting
Speaker 2: the ship, got a number and everything, and then we
Speaker 2: hung out a few times and she told me about
Speaker 2: She told me she was cool. It was like making
Speaker 2: an arrangement with me to to pay me for for
Speaker 2: my time. So that's how that started. I met her
Speaker 2: on a set of a porn Now damn.
Speaker 1: Wait, so this and that was and this was a
Speaker 1: second lady. What happened with the physic So the physical
Speaker 1: therapist lady got you into porn, uh huh, and then
Speaker 1: you met the sugar Mama on the set of this
Speaker 1: porn thing.
Speaker 2: Correct, Yeah, yep.
Speaker 1: So how so how deep did you go into the
Speaker 1: porn world?
Speaker 2: I mean I did my toes a little bit. I
Speaker 2: mean I did like a video or two, but it
Speaker 2: was just I don't know, it's weird, Like it's it's
Speaker 2: very weird because it's like it's not all all hyped
Speaker 2: as it is as it seems to be. Like it's
Speaker 2: very like you got guy, like I've tryed to do
Speaker 2: my thing and there's like the cameraman over my shoulder
Speaker 2: kind of fucking embracing me all up on me and
Speaker 2: he has like a camera over my shoulder. I'm saying
Speaker 2: to do my thing, and like it's kind of I'm
Speaker 2: already kind of like I'm not that outgoing. I'm kind
Speaker 2: of shy when it comes with stuff like that. So
Speaker 2: it was like kind of weird to stay like, for
Speaker 2: a lack of better words, it's hard to stay bricked
Speaker 2: up like that when there's when there's like eight people
Speaker 2: in the room, and you've got this guy with a
Speaker 2: camera over your shoulder and like behind your butt ship
Speaker 2: like that. It gets it's weird. So I didn't. I
Speaker 2: didn't continue it, but I did, like I did like
Speaker 2: two or three videos, and I got paid for it. It
Speaker 2: was cool. But it's just I don't I don't think
Speaker 2: I would ever I would ever do it again.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. You'd rather be trading four X.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd rather be I'd rather just be running a
Speaker 2: whole bunch of sidequest, just trading four X and DJ
Speaker 2: and and hustling. Honestly, I just I fell in love.
Speaker 2: I fell in love with the with the with the
Speaker 2: thriller of the Chase.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmmm hm. And so what this sugar mama like
Speaker 1: you said? You said you had a few. I'm sure, okay,
Speaker 1: So the sugar manta thing like this is an attractive woman.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's all right. I mean I give her, okay,
Speaker 2: she was an older woman. I mean, she wasn't bad looking.
Speaker 2: She had plastic surgery and ship, so she choose her.
Speaker 2: I mean, I give her out of ten, i'd give
Speaker 2: her she I give her like a seven point eight.
Speaker 2: She was all right.
Speaker 1: How old was she?
Speaker 2: She was late forties, I believe.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, so not at Bath was late in her sixties. Interesting.
Speaker 1: I guess I was well because I guess I was
Speaker 1: wondering like that lady could probably just like have sex
Speaker 1: with some guy without paying him. But I guess I
Speaker 1: guess she. I guess she wanted specifically you because you're
Speaker 1: six five beautiful.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess so, I guess so uh for me?
Speaker 1: Hmm, okay, So why did that? How did that dissipate
Speaker 1: or did it just kind of just kind of ran
Speaker 1: its course.
Speaker 2: It just kind of just ran its course. She just uh,
Speaker 2: she she kind of realized she was getting older and everything,
Speaker 2: and she didn't have kids. And I was kind of
Speaker 2: in it just to do my thing and make some
Speaker 2: money and go my separate ways. But she ended up
Speaker 2: offering to pay me like twenty grand to like put
Speaker 2: a baby in her, and I was like, eh, I
Speaker 2: want to do all that. So we houcked up maybe
Speaker 2: like two or three times after that, but it just
Speaker 2: got kind of weird because I know that's what she wanted,
Speaker 2: So I can't even I can't do this anymore. It
Speaker 2: ran its course.
Speaker 1: You said you had a few of these.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've had I've had like I think I've had
Speaker 2: like two, I've had like two or three.
Speaker 1: Yeah, how did you find the other ones?
Speaker 2: Uh? The other one. I was working at this job
Speaker 2: and like a pretty I was working on this corporate
Speaker 2: job and there was like this older lady. She was
Speaker 2: probably like mid like mid forties too as well, but
Speaker 2: she seemed like kind of young and fun and hip
Speaker 2: and shit. So I kind of I kind of like
Speaker 2: started to form a little attraction for her. So we
Speaker 2: hung out a few times that I invited her out.
Speaker 2: She was reluctant, of course, because I'm in my twenties
Speaker 2: and she's in her forties. She was kind of like
Speaker 2: reluctant to kind of hang out with me. But I
Speaker 2: finally cracked her. One day. I cracked her. I got
Speaker 2: it to go out to drink with me, and we
Speaker 2: kind of just we kind of just hit it off.
Speaker 2: From there. We started hanging out and she started buying
Speaker 2: me like work clothes and shit like that. That's that's
Speaker 2: one thing too, I will say about like dating older women,
Speaker 2: which I kind of prefer, is like they'll they'll they'll
Speaker 2: take care of you many I really will take done
Speaker 2: like kitty women my age but yeah, he's older women. Man,
Speaker 2: That's that's that's the wave. Man. I'm telling you. They
Speaker 2: knowlder women is the waves.
Speaker 1: So I get I guess, are you how do I
Speaker 1: say this? Are you gonna continue monetizing? Uh?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 1: How beautiful you are?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: Are there like could you be a model or something? Nah?
Speaker 2: Nah, I don't. I mean I've been. I don't really
Speaker 2: feel that way about myself, but I get told it
Speaker 2: a lot. But it's just I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 2: It's weird.
Speaker 1: Man.
Speaker 2: Like I have my days where like I'm filling myself.
Speaker 2: I'm like, damn, I do look good. But the majority
Speaker 2: of the time I'm kind of just I don't know.
Speaker 2: I keep my head down. I'm not really trying to
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying, do all that. I'm just
Speaker 2: I'm just here. I'm just trying to trying to hustle. Man.
Speaker 1: Are you Are you dating at all?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 2: Not at the moment, since that last situation went kind
Speaker 2: of bad. I mean I mean, I mean, yeah, no,
Speaker 2: I'm not really dating them. Yeah, I mean I'm on
Speaker 2: the apps, but they all go to shit. I mean,
Speaker 2: you send that a like out to the universe and
Speaker 2: doesn't go anywhere. So mm hmm, yeah, I'm not. I'm
Speaker 2: kind of just focusing on the on the time that
Speaker 2: I have off right now, just trying to hustle and
Speaker 2: make it so I don't have to go back to
Speaker 2: work if I don't want to.
Speaker 1: You sound like you sound like you've had a cool,
Speaker 1: fun life so far.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I mean it's been all right, It's been
Speaker 2: all right. I've had my ups and downs, but I
Speaker 2: can definitely uniquely say that I've done a lot of
Speaker 2: things in my lifetime, but a lot of people have
Speaker 2: never got to do so. I mean, I take pride
Speaker 2: in that I look back at my memories of my
Speaker 2: photos sometimes I'm like, damn, I was really I was
Speaker 2: really sixteen skipping school to go DJ at the Coliseum
Speaker 2: in LA and to go to go DJ for two chains,
Speaker 2: and then had to go to school the next day
Speaker 2: and walk around like you people don't even know what
Speaker 2: the hell I just did yesterday, like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No.
Speaker 1: I've had a lot of time. I've had a lot
Speaker 1: of shit like that in my life where I'm like,
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm I feel really blessed. I've gotten to
Speaker 1: do a lot of really cool things with my life
Speaker 1: in the last like ten years.
Speaker 2: You know, yeah, you're like, I agree, man, you haven't
Speaker 2: had to like work an actual job, which fucking sucks.
Speaker 2: I mean it's cool. I mean, this is a job,
Speaker 2: and like, of course you have like your your ups
Speaker 2: and your down days, but you're in a very unique
Speaker 2: position too, where you don't you don't have to you
Speaker 2: don't have to deal with other people's bullshit like on
Speaker 2: a day day and then have to clock in and
Speaker 2: have to do all that. You're in a very unique position.
Speaker 2: And that's that's the reason why I listen to you.
Speaker 2: I think it's very cool. Like I respect people who
Speaker 2: are hustle and who who want to work for themselves,
Speaker 2: and you've kept it up for a very long time.
Speaker 2: It's inspiring.
Speaker 1: I appreciate you saying that, and I listen, you sound
Speaker 1: like you're on your way to your version of that
Speaker 1: because you're I think what I think. I genuinely do
Speaker 1: believe with this kind of stuff, it is a bit
Speaker 1: of a matter of just like continuing to hack at it.
Speaker 1: I mean, I of course I have survivorship bias, but uh,
Speaker 1: I feel like it is almost inevitable if you just
Speaker 1: keep hacking things I mean, I don't know. I mean shit, man,
Speaker 1: I like even even I guess, like in my own life,
Speaker 1: like even though like things have been going well with
Speaker 1: this with the podcast and stuff, like, I'm still everything
Speaker 1: you create for yourself becomes its own. Prison is not
Speaker 1: a good word, but its own.
Speaker 2: Uh capsule, like it's on yeah, like it's on obligatory, Like.
Speaker 1: It's it's an obligation. Yeah, it's on obligation. And I
Speaker 1: you know what's funny is if you're the kind of
Speaker 1: person who's always I've I'm the kind of person I'm
Speaker 1: always trying to escape, you know, even and and like
Speaker 1: I you escape something and by creating something else, and
Speaker 1: then you try to escape that. Like a good example
Speaker 1: is like I'm always like thinking about like, oh, once
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna escape this city and move to
Speaker 1: this new one. And then you keep that goes on
Speaker 1: like an infinite thing of like one day I'll move
Speaker 1: here and then then like I like, it always just
Speaker 1: keeps going, you know what I mean. But that's good.
Speaker 1: That's how like life evolves. That's how you stop staying.
Speaker 1: That's how you stop you know, That's how you get
Speaker 1: to a point where you're fucking seventy eighty years old
Speaker 1: and you're like, damn, we ran the gamuts. But also
Speaker 1: but it's also but it's also how you get to
Speaker 1: seventy eighty years old and be like, wow, I have
Speaker 1: no family and friends and it was all for nothing. Sorry, Yeah,
Speaker 1: find that. I thought you would find that funny and
Speaker 1: not depressing.
Speaker 2: No, I mean, I mean, that's that's the goal. I mean,
Speaker 2: I again, I would rather have my obligation and my
Speaker 2: prison be working for myself then haspen to work at
Speaker 2: a company where I'm there and not really progressing for
Speaker 2: fucking thirty years, like I have much rather have my
Speaker 2: prison that that that I'm interested in and uh that
Speaker 2: that I that I want to do, versus doing something
Speaker 2: like I have to do.
Speaker 1: You know, of course, of course prison is not a
Speaker 1: good word. Prison is not what I meant.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I know what you mean, but just
Speaker 2: for a lack of terms, I was throwing that turn
Speaker 2: back at you, I know exactly what you mean.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but it's good. I mean I think well
Speaker 1: because also because the the kind of people who do
Speaker 1: like uh like, such as yourself, who do have this
Speaker 1: thing and then that want to keep evolving. I don't
Speaker 1: think it. I don't think it goes away, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. So like you'll start so like you'll
Speaker 1: start like uh like maybe one day one of your
Speaker 1: three D printed prints will pop off and you'll be
Speaker 1: making three D prints, you know, and you're like, Okay, great,
Speaker 1: I finally escaped the rye race and making a living
Speaker 1: off three D prints. But you're gonna have something in
Speaker 1: you that's like, oh, but I want to do this too,
Speaker 1: And I want to do this too, you know, because
Speaker 1: because it because you have a thing within you that
Speaker 1: makes you want to just keep evolving. And you know,
Speaker 1: but that's good. That's good. It's a good thing to have.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think it's a good thing to have. And
Speaker 2: I think it's it's very dope to to continue to
Speaker 2: chase that because then again, I I have scatter brain.
Speaker 2: I have so many different ideas and thoughts and everything,
Speaker 2: and it's dope to actually like when I put when
Speaker 2: I put some some effort towards like the thought that
Speaker 2: I had that I think would be a good idea,
Speaker 2: it's always rewording. Well.
Speaker 1: Yeah, man, I I'm rooting for you. I think it's
Speaker 1: all really cool. I think you're I think you're a
Speaker 1: cool guy. I think I have a lot of respect
Speaker 1: for you that you're, you know, like really making a
Speaker 1: good life for yourself after you know, dealing with some
Speaker 1: difficult circumstances and ship. I got a lot of I
Speaker 1: got a lot of respect for you, man. I think
Speaker 1: it's cool. I appreciate you sharing all this stuff with us.
Speaker 2: Yeah, thanks man. Yeah, it feels good to kind of
Speaker 2: talk about it and kind of like reflects on all
Speaker 2: the crazy cool shit I've done because I get down
Speaker 2: sometimes I'm like, damn, I don't really have anybody. I'm
Speaker 2: not really doing like enough. Sometimes it's like I'm not
Speaker 2: doing enough, like sitting here talking to you in the phone,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, damn, I've lived like four different, four
Speaker 2: different crazy as life.
Speaker 1: Well that's what it takes, because yeah, of course, because
Speaker 1: that's what it takes, is to like cause you only
Speaker 1: get you.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Now, once you start like like really like reflecting on
Speaker 1: your life, it can kind of bring out like it
Speaker 1: can help you sort of thwart whatever narratives you've created
Speaker 1: for yourself. Do you want to plug you? Do you
Speaker 1: have like a DJ thing you want to plug? I
Speaker 1: don't know if after. I don't know if you want
Speaker 1: to identify yourself, but if you do, it's fair game.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I will screw you. I'll do it. It's just it's
Speaker 2: just my name. So it's just spelled out. It's on
Speaker 2: Instagram and it's on TikTok and everything, but it's it's
Speaker 2: Gray Jean my name. So it's B like boy r
Speaker 2: A Z like zebra ja B what that's long weird,
Speaker 2: got a long ass name. So it's B like boy
Speaker 2: r A Z like zebra j h A N. And
Speaker 2: then I should pop up right there and.
Speaker 1: Peat and Jean. Yeah, it's the moment you have. Your
Speaker 1: name is written in Arabic. Right, Oh okay, this is okay.
Speaker 1: This is definitely not you.
Speaker 2: B R yeah, B R A Z j h A
Speaker 2: N N N three.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, only I put one N on there, yeah
Speaker 1: three yeah three? Oh there we go. Okay, look at this.
Speaker 1: Oh this is the look cool man? Hell yeah sick.
Speaker 1: I love yeah, I love this picture of you DJing
Speaker 1: with the orange and ship. That looks cool.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah. One of my buddies took that shot. That
Speaker 2: was like mide me up club out in l A.
Speaker 2: That was a pretty good night.
Speaker 1: Cool man, well, brajeon, this is this is great talking
Speaker 1: to you man. Uh, I'm ins I'm inspired by the hustle.
Speaker 1: I'm inspired by this. This was this was this was
Speaker 1: an enjoyable conversation for me. I appreciate you sharing everything.
Speaker 1: Is there? Is there anything else you wanna say to
Speaker 1: the people of the computer or talk about or whatever
Speaker 1: else about life before we go?
Speaker 2: Nah? Man, just fucking Catalina wine, mix your boats.
Speaker 1: And hose swag. Thank you, I'll good luck to you, man,
Speaker 1: I'll see you around the universe.
Speaker 2: All right, thanks, see you lady man. Good quess.
Speaker 1: I liked that guy a lot. I liked that, you know,
Speaker 1: clearly he's got clearly he's facing like a lot of challenges,
Speaker 1: you know, with like his fucking family situation and fucking
Speaker 1: you know, the general mental anxiety that comes with UH
Speaker 1: being alive on the planet. And I don't know, I
Speaker 1: like the way he's uh. I like the way he's
Speaker 1: doing it. I have a lot of respect for it.
Speaker 1: I saw, like while I stream these phone calls live
Speaker 1: on Twitch, and I saw people in the chat saying
Speaker 1: that he might have been making all this stuff up.
Speaker 1: And I was thinking about this just in general. On
Speaker 1: this podcast about like, oh, are people making stuff up?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 1: Like that, Like I posted a clip from the woman
Speaker 1: who talked about what is It who talked about meeting
Speaker 1: that homeless guy on the streets and sleeping in the
Speaker 1: train station with him, and everyone was like it's fake
Speaker 1: or whatever. And listen, I'm telling you, as the part
Speaker 1: for a lot of things, as the person taking all
Speaker 1: these phone calls and talking to all these people, I
Speaker 1: really very rarely, if ever, like if like, I really
Speaker 1: rarely think that people are making stuff up personally, no
Speaker 1: offense to anyone, but I'm gonna throw this out there.
Speaker 1: I think the people who tend to go on the
Speaker 1: internet and be like this person's story is fake are
Speaker 1: people who haven't really lived a lot of life. Uh So,
Speaker 1: Like cause if you if you're a person who puts
Speaker 1: yourself out there and says yes to things and tries
Speaker 1: and you know whatever, like like this. You know, like
Speaker 1: like this guy Brazen, you know he someone's like, hey
Speaker 1: should try poorn. He's like yeah, okay. Or someone's like,
Speaker 1: you know, hey go to Jamie Fox's house. He's like yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: You know he's saying yes, he's putting himself out there
Speaker 1: he's trying. If you're someone who does that, you know
Speaker 1: that life is really like weird and crazy or like
Speaker 1: the woman who slept with the guy on the train,
Speaker 1: like like shit, fucking shit happened, So you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. So I really I believe ninety nine point
Speaker 1: ninety ninety nine. Sometimes a guy calls in and is like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I fucked my cousin. Actually, one time a guy did
Speaker 1: call in to talk about fucking his cousin. I did
Speaker 1: believe him. But like things happen, I believe every word
Speaker 1: of what this guy was talking about. And uh the
Speaker 1: other like like I don't know, man, shit is just
Speaker 1: uh like I think like like people I don't like
Speaker 1: if you go out, like life is crazier than you
Speaker 1: think it is. So I have no real reason to
Speaker 1: not uh believe the you know, not only the like
Speaker 1: empirical events that people talk about on this show, but
Speaker 1: like their feelings about them, like, uh, you know, it's
Speaker 1: it feels it, it's very it feels real. That's just
Speaker 1: that's my perspective on it. But anyway, I appreciate raising
Speaker 1: for calling in and sharing his story. Hey, what's up, folks,
Speaker 1: it's Lyle here. I just wanted to give you a
Speaker 1: little bit more episode and thought I would read just
Speaker 1: a few gek mails, maybe a couple, maybe just one.
Speaker 1: I don't know whatever I'm feeling today, just to you know,
Speaker 1: give you guys a little bit of bonus Gecko time.
Speaker 1: So I have some emails in front of me. I'll
Speaker 1: read one or two of them before we go. I
Speaker 1: hope you guys enjoyed that call that we just had
Speaker 1: with our young DJ hustler friend. I really liked that guy.
Speaker 1: All right, Okay, yeah, let's read a few emails. Let's see. Ah,
Speaker 1: here we go. This is This is from Bray. Subject
Speaker 1: line femboy identity and dealing with self perception problems. Hello,
Speaker 1: mister Gecko, I am Bray. I want to quickly get
Speaker 1: the fanboy stuff out of the way. I've listened to
Speaker 1: your podcast since I was sixteen, and it's been a
Speaker 1: huge part of my day to day. Very much helped
Speaker 1: me cope with many quiet periods of my teenage life.
Speaker 1: I love your show and your takes on everyone's issues,
Speaker 1: and I want to say you're awesome. I was a
Speaker 1: top ten listener on Spotify this year. Btw. Thank you, Bray. Also,
Speaker 1: thank you to everyone else who I got a lot
Speaker 1: of really nice messages about Spotify rapped and because I
Speaker 1: know they do a podcast one, so thank you to
Speaker 1: everyone who has listened to even one single minute of
Speaker 1: me doing this. I saw some guy in fuck Spain
Speaker 1: or some guy in some non English speaking country logged
Speaker 1: like a full month of the podcast this year, so
Speaker 1: I appreciate that guy. So yeah, thank you guys very
Speaker 1: much for sending me that stuff. Anyway, anyway, back debray,
Speaker 1: I've always been lost in terms of identity and self perception.
Speaker 1: I know everyone goes through life changing and developing their
Speaker 1: version of self and creating a vessel, but I've never
Speaker 1: been sure of who I am and especially how I'd
Speaker 1: like to appear to the people around me. Since last year,
Speaker 1: I've been experimenting with my feminine side, dressing up as
Speaker 1: a stereotypical femboy in private. I normally like appearing androgynous
Speaker 1: and going against typical manly behaviors, having long hair, doing
Speaker 1: a bit of eyeliner and makeup, and also skincare. It
Speaker 1: makes me feel comfortable and confident, but I struggle with
Speaker 1: how I perceive myself versus how others see me. I'm
Speaker 1: a I'm a relatively average looking guy, but I take
Speaker 1: really good feminine photos. I think these photos fool me
Speaker 1: into thinking I'm more feminine than I really am. I'm
Speaker 1: literally oblivious to how I look, which is ruining my
Speaker 1: mental health and identity that I've made since I was
Speaker 1: a kid. Huh, why is being oblivious to how you
Speaker 1: look ruining your identity? All right? Hold on, I have thoughts,
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna finish the email. I have dabbled in
Speaker 1: posting pictures of me and feminine clothing on Reddit, but
Speaker 1: the compliments I receive online haven't ever really felt good
Speaker 1: or meaningful. I don't get confidence from online interactions, nor
Speaker 1: do I feel engaged with them either. At this point,
Speaker 1: I live by the confidence I receive from the mirror,
Speaker 1: and the days where I'm not confident in how I
Speaker 1: see myself are some of the most depressing moments in
Speaker 1: my life. All in all, I'm a boring, emo looking
Speaker 1: boy living in Australia who's deluded himself into thinking he's cute,
Speaker 1: And it's just wondering how you deal with your own
Speaker 1: self perception and identity, how you cope with negative thoughts,
Speaker 1: or how you deal with anxiety from being self conscious.
Speaker 1: Thanks Bray, A lot of stuff in here, A lot
Speaker 1: of stuff in here. There was one line where you
Speaker 1: were like, I'm oblivious to how I look and that's
Speaker 1: ruining my mental health. I'm wondering why, and also like
Speaker 1: your oblivious to Like, Okay, you're saying that, you're saying
Speaker 1: you're I assume you're saying you're oblivious to how other
Speaker 1: people are perceiving you. So I'll tell you a few things,
Speaker 1: which is how the knowledge of how you are being
Speaker 1: perceived by others is only helpful when it's helpful, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. I've talked about this before, But
Speaker 1: there's like a I believe in like a strong spectrum.
Speaker 1: I believe there's an optimal place to be on the
Speaker 1: spectrum of like conscientiousness, right, because you don't want to
Speaker 1: completely disregard the way in which you come off to
Speaker 1: other people, because there's valuable in in there, right, But
Speaker 1: you also don't want to be too obsessed with it
Speaker 1: because at a certain point it's moot how you come
Speaker 1: off to other people because there's infinite people and you
Speaker 1: only have your one life, So who really gives a fluck?
Speaker 1: It depends on what you're trying to do and how
Speaker 1: you're trying to live your life and all these things.
Speaker 1: But I mean, look, man, here's the thing about like
Speaker 1: your identity. And also, you were sixteen when you started
Speaker 1: listening to the podcast, so I'm gonna assume you're probably
Speaker 1: like eighteen nineteen something like that. Your identity can be
Speaker 1: whatever you want it to be, you know. I mean,
Speaker 1: if you want to dress up like a girl and
Speaker 1: take photos of yourself as a girl and that's and
Speaker 1: you feel to yourself that you are cute and that
Speaker 1: makes you feel good, then fucking do it.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm I feel like I haven't gotten
Speaker 1: into the full crux of this issue. Okay, the confidence
Speaker 1: I received from the mirror is where. Oh I live
Speaker 1: by the confidence I receive in the mirror. That's great.
Speaker 1: That's good. That's a good thing, Bray, that's a good thing.
Speaker 1: If you build up your identity on and I know
Speaker 1: this because I do it, if you build up your
Speaker 1: identity from like internet likes and like com and like
Speaker 1: external validation, you're building a fucking castle of sand, you know,
Speaker 1: and everyone knows that. So good. I think that's good.
Speaker 1: I think it's a healthy thing to not really feel
Speaker 1: that much from compliments on the internet. It'd be way
Speaker 1: worse if you were to if you were telling me, like,
Speaker 1: I can only feel good about myself other people on
Speaker 1: the internet are telling me that I'm attractive and amazing.
Speaker 1: I'd be like, that's a bad thing. But so so
Speaker 1: I guess it's more about like a self perception. Hm hm, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm an idiot. Okay, no, okay. This person is posting
Speaker 1: pictures of himself being a girl on the internet and
Speaker 1: people are saying that he looks cute, but then he
Speaker 1: is looking in the mirror and he does and he
Speaker 1: doesn't see what the other people are seeing. Okay, that
Speaker 1: makes sense. I think. I think that's it. Uh, I'm
Speaker 1: a boring, emo looking guy in Australia who's deluded himself
Speaker 1: into thinking he's cute. I mean, think whatever you fucking
Speaker 1: want about yourself. I believe that, like I do believe
Speaker 1: in manifestation in some regard of like whatever narrative you
Speaker 1: want to play into, like uh, hours your actions, I suppose, so,
Speaker 1: like if you walk around thinking that you're cute, then
Speaker 1: it does kind of rub off, you know, to an extent.
Speaker 1: Of course, like you don't want to be like completely delusional, but.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Man, believe whatever, Believe whatever you want about yourself. Bray,
Speaker 1: I'm a big fan of fake it till you make it,
Speaker 1: and maybe we will all one day make it. Uh okay,
Speaker 1: let's read like one more. This is from Bailey. I'm
Speaker 1: thirty and still having nocturnal emissions. Uh okay. I'm thirty
Speaker 1: and on occasion, I still have wet dreams, or nocturnal
Speaker 1: emissions as they are called. I'm not exactly sure when
Speaker 1: this first started, but I would say that this has
Speaker 1: been a thing for about half my life, and took
Speaker 1: quantify the frequency. I would guess this happens at least
Speaker 1: once a month, maybe on average a little more. Sometimes
Speaker 1: it has happened twice in a night. Thankfully, it hasn't
Speaker 1: happened in over a week or two. I have never
Speaker 1: talked to a doctor or a therapist about this, and
Speaker 1: I don't really want to. It seems my problem is
Speaker 1: dream induced, so something freaky might be going down in
Speaker 1: my dream leading me to finish finishing as soon as
Speaker 1: it happens, I wake up, and then the feeling I
Speaker 1: have when I wake is that I have to pee,
Speaker 1: so in an attempt to prevent this, I try to
Speaker 1: cut off drinking any fluids at least an hour or
Speaker 1: more before I go to bed. I also read that
Speaker 1: sleeping on your back helps, so I try to do
Speaker 1: that when falling asleep. To embarrass myself further with this issue.
Speaker 1: I have a longtime girlfriend. However, thankfully she has no
Speaker 1: idea about this. But this has happened when I've stayed
Speaker 1: over at her place. Because it seems like it is unpredictable.
Speaker 1: I pack extra underwear when whenever I am not staying
Speaker 1: at my place, and when it happens, I wake up,
Speaker 1: go clean myself up, and change. When this has happened
Speaker 1: and I am at her place, as I'm getting back
Speaker 1: in bed, she will ask if I'm okay since I
Speaker 1: keep getting up in the middle of the night. I
Speaker 1: believe I have her thinking I have bladder issues or
Speaker 1: an upset stomach, which is good. I don't really have
Speaker 1: anything specific I'm looking from you for from you other
Speaker 1: than your thoughts on this matter. I don't really want
Speaker 1: to consult a doctor on this, as I'm embarrassed by it.
Speaker 1: I don't want to think I am a sex addict,
Speaker 1: What do the hell does this have to be in
Speaker 1: a sex addict? While I did see that masturbation and
Speaker 1: sex can reduce this from happening, I'd like to refrain
Speaker 1: from watching porn. If you read this on your podcast,
Speaker 1: thank you. I'll be listening for your reaction in any
Speaker 1: words you have on this matter. Okay, Bailey, Uh, First
Speaker 1: of all, First of all, I can tell that you're
Speaker 1: carrying way too much. You're carrying way, way way too
Speaker 1: much shame about this, my friend. You're like, it's all right, brother,
Speaker 1: It's all right to come. It's our biological imperative. It's
Speaker 1: okay to come. Your girlfriend doesn't care that you come
Speaker 1: in your sleep. A doctor doesn't care that you come
Speaker 1: in your sleep. You're not a sex addict because you
Speaker 1: come in your sleep. You're You're okay, brother. I want
Speaker 1: to I want to go into this guy's brain and
Speaker 1: make him realize that he's fine, because he's clearly freaking
Speaker 1: out about a thing that's really not that big of
Speaker 1: a deal. So, I mean, that's the main thing I
Speaker 1: would say, is like, you're definitely taking this thing and
Speaker 1: making it into much bigger of a deal than than
Speaker 1: it is. Like, what if your girlfriend. Your girlfriend doesn't
Speaker 1: care that you come in your sleep? Dude, are you
Speaker 1: peeing your sleep? You're coming in your sleep? I think
Speaker 1: you're coming in I think I think you're coming in
Speaker 1: your sleep. Yeah, wet dreams, Yeah, I think you're coming
Speaker 1: in your sleep. How much are you because I because
Speaker 1: I think everyone comes in their sleep a little bit.
Speaker 1: But well, I'm curious. How much are you coming in
Speaker 1: your sleep? Are you like full? Are you coming full
Speaker 1: loads in your sleep? I cut off drinking fluids at
Speaker 1: least an hour before I go to bed. See are
Speaker 1: you don't? Are you peeing in your sleep? Or you're
Speaker 1: coming in your sleep? I try to cut off fluids
Speaker 1: at least an hour or more before I go to bed.
Speaker 1: That reads that you're peeing, but the sex part of
Speaker 1: it makes it leads to your I'm gonna assume you're
Speaker 1: coming in your sleep, and I'm gonna assume you're coming
Speaker 1: strong liquiity comes in your sleep? Does that happen? Go
Speaker 1: to a doctor, man, there's notion. You don't need to
Speaker 1: be ashamed of this. I'd like to refrain from watching
Speaker 1: Do You Wait? Hold On? I don't want myself to
Speaker 1: think I'm a sex act or anything. But I did
Speaker 1: see that masturbation and sex can reduce this from happening.
Speaker 1: I'd like to refrain from watching porn. There's so much
Speaker 1: of it. Do you have Do you not have sex
Speaker 1: or masturbate ever? If you don't have sex or masturbate ever,
Speaker 1: then then yeah, then then yeah, something's gonna They're fucking
Speaker 1: damn building up and something's gotta go at some point.
Speaker 1: You don't have to watch pooring to masturbate. You can
Speaker 1: just do it. Do you and your girlfriend not have sex?
Speaker 1: It sounds like you have shame about having sex and
Speaker 1: masturbatings too. Billy I, Billy Bailey, Billy Billy, release the
Speaker 1: shame and fucking have sex and masturbate and come in
Speaker 1: your sleep like it's fine. There's no you're putting value
Speaker 1: judgments on this thing for just no reason. Maybe you
Speaker 1: had a religious upbringing, maybe you just are scared. I
Speaker 1: don't know, but that's my main thought is you should
Speaker 1: uh relinquish the shame. And it's just you know, because look,
Speaker 1: you either jack Your body is telling you you either
Speaker 1: need to jack off while you're awake, or jack off,
Speaker 1: or or it'll jack off for you while you're dreaming about, uh,
Speaker 1: Lola Bunny or Selma Hyak or whatever your thing is.
Speaker 1: Do you watch TV? You're seeing this kind of seems
Speaker 1: like the kind of person that thinks that watching TV
Speaker 1: is sinful and maybe wouldn't know who Lola Bunny is.
Speaker 1: It's okay, It's okay for you to watch Lola Bunny.
Speaker 1: Hentai Billy, You're all right. If I could be the
Speaker 1: if I'm the if I could be the first person
Speaker 1: in your life to tell you it's okay to come,
Speaker 1: I'm an honored to do that. So don't don't be
Speaker 1: embarrassed by it. Man, Just fucking go to the doctor
Speaker 1: if you need to tell your girlfriend. Nothing wrong with it.
Speaker 1: The only the only thing that's I jend you know
Speaker 1: what's funny is is contradictatorially. Contradictorily. It's more weird to
Speaker 1: me that you find this weird then that this is occurring.
Speaker 1: So let yourself live, Bailey. That's all I gotta say.
Speaker 1: All Right, I think that's that's the end of my
Speaker 1: gackmail reading. But there's more emails here, but I'll fuck
Speaker 1: my voice cracked. Okay, I'm alive. I'm okay. See that
Speaker 1: was kind of embarrassing, but I don't care. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: own it. I'm alive. There's more emails here, but I'll
Speaker 1: read them on another episode. I hope you guys enjoyed this.
Speaker 1: I hope that you are enjoying the podcast. I hope
Speaker 1: you liked the conversation that I had with the caller
Speaker 1: I did. Maybe some of you will get into four
Speaker 1: X trading. I didn't. I didn't tell you about that.
Speaker 1: That was someone else.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: Go to Therapy Echo tour dot com. I'm planning my
Speaker 1: live shows. I'm excited about them. Give me your email
Speaker 1: or phone number or whatever, or don't I mean you?
Speaker 1: Should you? Or do you should? Should? I want you
Speaker 1: to come. I want you to come to my show.
Speaker 1: And I want Bailey to come on a towel or
Speaker 1: wherever he wants to come. This was the Therapeuticle podcast.
Speaker 1: Thank you again for listening, Thanks for sharing your Spotify
Speaker 1: raps with me. And here's to many more years of
Speaker 1: talking into this microphone and talking to people and being
Speaker 1: a gecko and living life gek bless.
Speaker 2: Everythink goes on the line, taking your phone calls every night,
Speaker 2: everything goes, and I'm just.
Speaker 3: Teaching you aloud, in the mean of your life.
Speaker 2: He's not ready an expert