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Speaker 1: Welcome one and all to the Professional Homegirl Podcast. Before

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Speaker 1: we begin today's episode, we want to remind you that

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Speaker 1: the views and opinions expressed on this podcast are those

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Speaker 1: of the host and guests and are intended for educational

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Speaker 1: and entertaining purposes. In this safe space, no question is

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Speaker 1: off limits because you never know how someone's storyline can

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Speaker 1: be your lifeline. The Professional Homegirl Podcast is here to

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Speaker 1: celebrate the diverse voices, stories and experiences of women of color,

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Speaker 1: providing a platform for authentic and empowering conversations. There will

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Speaker 1: be some key king, some tears, but most importantly a

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Speaker 1: reminder that tough times don't last, but professional Homegirls do

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Speaker 1: enjoy the show.

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Speaker 2: Hey, Professional Homegirls, esheger Ebine here and I hope all

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Speaker 2: is cute listen. I cannot believe that we are finally

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Speaker 2: here at this season two finale. I mean, this, hands

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Speaker 2: down has been one of my favorite seasons. And y'all

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Speaker 2: know I talk to a lot of different people from

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Speaker 2: different walks of life, but I don't know, I just

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Speaker 2: feel like with this season it has definitely been filled

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Speaker 2: with truth, transformation, and just a powerful reminder that there

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Speaker 2: is beauty and brokenness, but to close it out. I

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Speaker 2: am honored and excited to share such an expiring conversation

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Speaker 2: with none other than Lesan Byskiat. Leisan is an entrepreneur

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Speaker 2: and advocate dedicated to helping people reconnect with who they are,

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Speaker 2: why they're here, and what becomes possible when they nurture

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Speaker 2: a healthy relationship with themselves. She's the founder and CEO

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Speaker 2: of Shape and Freedom, a personal growth company focused on

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Speaker 2: inner alignment, spiritual wellness, and legacy building. She also leads

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Speaker 2: Shaping Sanctuary and hair a Hub, cars Bag and co

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Speaker 2: administers the estate of her brother, the legendary artists John

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Speaker 2: Michelle boskiat ensuring his legacy lives on and his art

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Speaker 2: reaches new audiences. In this intimate conversation, Lisan and I

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Speaker 2: open up about her family history, the way of grief,

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Speaker 2: and the sacred responsibility of carrying legacy. She shares how

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Speaker 2: she continues to host space for transformation, both her own

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Speaker 2: and others, and why the path to wholeness begins from within.

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Speaker 2: Plus she answered a few of our professional homegirl questions. Y'all,

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Speaker 2: hands down, it was such an honor to speak to

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Speaker 2: Lisan byskiyach. She was such a birth of fresh air,

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Speaker 2: and I cannot wait for you all to hear. I

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Speaker 2: feel like everything that I had worked so hard for

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Speaker 2: led me up to this moment. So I am just

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Speaker 2: incredibly thankful to Lisan and her team for making this happen.

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Speaker 2: So I really do hope that you all enjoyed this

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Speaker 2: conversation as much as I did. And thank you so

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Speaker 2: much for rocking with me for season two. So get

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Speaker 2: ready because our season finale with Lisan Skiach starts now.

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Speaker 2: All right, y'all, I am super excited to have today's

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Speaker 2: guests on the show. It's not every day I have

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Speaker 2: rority on the Professional Homegirl podcast. Lisan, how are you?

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much for coming on the show.

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Speaker 3: I'm doing so well, Ebane, thank you so much. I'm

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Speaker 3: doing good. I'm doing okay, okay.

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Speaker 2: Well, first off, we have to start the show off

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Speaker 2: by saying, congratulations on your day.

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Speaker 4: What is it?

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Speaker 2: February twenty fifth, Black History Month, Lesan Basquiat Day.

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Speaker 3: Yes? How does that feel for you? You know, it

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Speaker 3: feels surreal. I was shocked at the recognition and at

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Speaker 3: the acknowledgment, and also felt very humbled and honored that

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Speaker 3: I'd be recognized in that way. And I'm still It's

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Speaker 3: a month later and I'm still feeling feeling very humbled

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Speaker 3: by to be honest, and how cool.

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Speaker 2: Is that you have a day in Black History Month.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, I just have a day period rather than

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Speaker 3: my birthday. I'm just yeah, yeah, so now you have

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Speaker 3: two days, yes, ma'am, I actually have three hundred and

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Speaker 3: sixty five days. Come right, you know I have three

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Speaker 3: hundred and sixty five and two of them are more

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Speaker 3: public days, my birthday and the Proclamation Day. But yeah,

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Speaker 3: it feels pretty good. I'm very excited about it.

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Speaker 2: Now, when you reflect on all of your work, both

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Speaker 2: in the spotlight and behind the scenes, what do you

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Speaker 2: think that recognition truly represents?

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Speaker 3: Oh, you're coming right out with the great questions. I

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Speaker 3: have to get my oprah on with you.

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Speaker 5: Okay. I worked hard to get to this moment.

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Speaker 3: I think it represents. It represents all of the work

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Speaker 3: that I've done and the all of the work that

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Speaker 3: I've done over the years to really be very serious

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Speaker 3: about my life and about my time on this planet.

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Speaker 3: And by serious, I don't mean serious without the smile.

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Speaker 3: I mean to be very honored and to take the

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Speaker 3: assignment of this lifetime seriously.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, when you think about your parents, your

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Speaker 2: father's discipline and your mother's creativity, how do you see

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Speaker 2: them reflected in the woman you become, Because I feel

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Speaker 2: like this could be kind of like a full circle

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Speaker 2: moment for you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it is. What I got from my parents was

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Speaker 3: the best that they had to give, and I've been

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Speaker 3: able to take the good, you know, take the wonderful

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Speaker 3: things that I want to bring forward, like my father's strong,

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Speaker 3: strong work ethic, his confidence, his problem solving ability and

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Speaker 3: ability to take the things that he was confronted with

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Speaker 3: and the things that came to him and to find

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Speaker 3: a way out of no way. And for my mother,

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Speaker 3: I was able to get just the softness of her spirit.

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Speaker 3: My mother was a very kind woman. She was a

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Speaker 3: very heart centered human being who loved art, who loved creativity,

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Speaker 3: who loved theater and museums and culture. And I think

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Speaker 3: that between what I've been able to get from both

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Speaker 3: of them was really a beautiful, beautiful mix that I

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Speaker 3: didn't fully appreciate until much later in my life. But

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Speaker 3: a very blessed and happy to have had.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, in what ways it be in first generation create

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Speaker 2: both pressure and pride in your household.

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Speaker 3: Oh wow, girl, I don't know if you know what

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Speaker 3: the first generation.

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Speaker 5: Thing is, like, I already know. My friends tell me

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Speaker 5: all the time.

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Speaker 3: Let me tell you, it's a lot of pressure. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's a lot of pressure. It's a lot of what

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Speaker 3: I heard A lot was you know, in my country,

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Speaker 3: we did it this way. And I also heard a

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Speaker 3: lot I heard. I also heard a lot of my

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Speaker 3: father's uh story about his the resilience that he had

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Speaker 3: in coming to this country as a very young man

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Speaker 3: from another country, speaking a completely different language, with a

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Speaker 3: different climate and a different culture, and what it took

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Speaker 3: for him to acclimate to this country and also to

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Speaker 3: forge his own path here in this country. And so

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Speaker 3: as a first generation for me, it was really living

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Speaker 3: a parallel life and culture in many ways, because at

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Speaker 3: home that was kind of the thing. And then I

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Speaker 3: was born in Brooklyn. I grew up in Brooklyn. No,

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Speaker 3: come on now, and you know, so I grew up

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Speaker 3: in Brooklyn, and you know, Brooklyn has a culture of

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Speaker 3: its own. And so I always felt in some way

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Speaker 3: which I think has helped me in the work that

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Speaker 3: I do today and in the sensibility that I have

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Speaker 3: about the world. It helped to give me a really

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Speaker 3: well rounded, forgiving and inclusive lens through which to view

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Speaker 3: the world and to view people.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, so you know, I have a lot of

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Speaker 2: listeners from New York, so we gotta do a New

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Speaker 2: York conversation right quick.

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Speaker 5: What part of Brooklyn is you grew in?

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Speaker 3: So initially in Flatbush on thirty fifth Street, right off

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Speaker 3: of Beverly Road, right between Beverly and Cotilia. East thirty

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Speaker 3: fifth between Beverly and Katilia is where you know where

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Speaker 3: we were at first, and then later on Borham Hill.

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Speaker 2: And then what high school?

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Speaker 3: Did you go to? Brooklyn Tech? Okay? Okay?

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Speaker 5: And did you go to college in New York?

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Speaker 3: I went to City College. I went to NYU for

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Speaker 3: part of it, and I did it as an adult,

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Speaker 3: and I was paying for college by myself, and it

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Speaker 3: was explusive because at the time I didn't work, I

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Speaker 3: didn't work somewhere where it was covered, and so I

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Speaker 3: paid for it out of pocket as a single mother

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Speaker 3: for a while, and then did the second half of

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Speaker 3: it through City College of New York. An amazing, amazing

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Speaker 3: academic experience.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you miss New York.

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Speaker 3: I'm in New York all the time. I do not

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Speaker 3: miss New York. Let me tell you, Okay, I love

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Speaker 3: New York. I love New York. Okay, And I live

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Speaker 3: on the West Coast now, and so I'm by coastal

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Speaker 3: I go back and forth. What I love about the

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Speaker 3: West Coast is that it is things aren't that serious.

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Speaker 3: You know. I can kind of go outside of my

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Speaker 3: pajamas and nobody cares, right, you know, right, And I

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Speaker 3: love that. I love the softness of that. I also

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Speaker 3: love the fact that I can be around nature, which

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Speaker 3: is very important to me. But I get back to

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Speaker 3: New York and there's nothing. It is like no other city.

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Speaker 2: In no place like New York.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, no place.

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Speaker 2: My grandma used to always say, the city's so nice.

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Speaker 2: They named it twice.

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Speaker 3: That's right, that's right. I don't miss New York because

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Speaker 3: I'm there so often. But during the pandemic, I was

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Speaker 3: gone for thirteen months, and when I got back to

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Speaker 3: New York, I got to tell you, the first person

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Speaker 3: that yelled at me and cursed me out in the streets,

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Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, I missed y'all, and back to you.

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Speaker 3: You know, it's good to be able to kind of

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Speaker 3: like pull that grit out because the thing about it,

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Speaker 3: the thing about New York is that you fall, and

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Speaker 3: you can fall on the street and they will tell

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Speaker 3: someone will walk up, a stranger on the street to

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Speaker 3: walk up and start picking you up. They'll tell you

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Speaker 3: that you're stupid for not paying attention to the crack

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Speaker 3: of the street. While they're picking you up. I will

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Speaker 3: pick you up, dust you off, put your purse back

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Speaker 3: on your shoulder, and send you on your way. So

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Speaker 3: shout out to New York.

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Speaker 5: I like, I know, I know.

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Speaker 2: So next time you come come back home me, I

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Speaker 2: gotta take you out.

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Speaker 3: Oh I'm there all the time. Girl, don't tell me.

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Speaker 3: Don't listen. They'll teach you at a good time. They'll

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Speaker 3: tease me, what a good time? Because I did it.

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Speaker 2: Now before the new before the world. Knew your brother,

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Speaker 2: John Michelle, you knew him as your brother. So what

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Speaker 2: was he like growing up? Because when the research I did,

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Speaker 2: I feel like he was like a little prankster.

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Speaker 3: Oh totally, Oh yeah, one hundred percent, hundred percent. He

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Speaker 3: was a prankster. He was super curious and love knowledge

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Speaker 3: and also loved to h He was a scientist of sorts,

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Speaker 3: and so he really loved to put things together and

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Speaker 3: see what could work and what wouldn't work, and what

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Speaker 3: he could you know, what trouble he can get into.

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Speaker 3: I mean that was the result of it. But I

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Speaker 3: think his uh, what was informing him was the desire

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Speaker 3: to learn and just and to try things out and experiment.

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Speaker 2: So how did you and your siblings support each other

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Speaker 2: and shaping your identities and ambitions? Like, did y'all ever

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Speaker 2: have conversations of which y'all wanted to be or who

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Speaker 2: you want to be when you was growing up?

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Speaker 3: Nope, sorry, now just giving you a hard time. No, No,

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Speaker 3: we didn't talk specifically about that, but we always knew

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Speaker 3: who we were and we always supported each other in

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Speaker 3: whatever it was that was going on. I mean, for us,

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Speaker 3: the conversation wasn't like we didn't sit around as children saying,

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Speaker 3: you know, you are going to become the most prolific

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Speaker 3: painter in the world, right, and you are going to

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Speaker 3: do this other thing and you're gonna, you know, have

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Speaker 3: an interest in human behavior and express it through shaping freedom.

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Speaker 3: But we were always who we were, so the conversations

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Speaker 3: that we had were always around creativity. For my sister

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Speaker 3: and my brother, you know the way my sister saw

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Speaker 3: the world and the experiences and thought that I had

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Speaker 3: about the ways that people interact with each other.

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Speaker 2: You know, I love when you and your sister do

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Speaker 2: interviews together because I can just tell that when she's

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Speaker 2: telling the story, it's like for you, it's like paint

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Speaker 2: a picture and it's like, oh, like I didn't know that,

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Speaker 2: And then you chime in and then she'll give you

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Speaker 2: the same look of admiration and stuff, and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: that is so cool.

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Speaker 3: My sister and I vibe off each other.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I can tell.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Now, you always talk about how your father played such

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Speaker 2: a central role in your upbringing. So how did being

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Speaker 2: raised primarily by him shape how you saw the world

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Speaker 2: at such a young age.

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Speaker 3: You know. For when I was younger, it bothered me

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Speaker 3: because I didn't see I didn't see my life anywhere

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Speaker 3: outside of my home. I didn't know a lot of

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Speaker 3: There are a couple of things that were very different

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Speaker 3: about our lives. So we grew up in a brownstone

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Speaker 3: in Brooklyn and Burham Hill. Our father was an immigrant

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Speaker 3: from another country. That was not the case for a

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Speaker 3: lot of people people that I was around. We were

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Speaker 3: raised by him and not with our mother in the household,

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Speaker 3: which was very different and was very challenging as a

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Speaker 3: young girl growing up to not have your mother in

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Speaker 3: the house. But what it did was it helped me

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Speaker 3: as a young person and then later as an adult,

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Speaker 3: to have had that experience of not just having my

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Speaker 3: father in the home, but having him be the central figure,

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Speaker 3: central parenting figure in my home. And so that was

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Speaker 3: very different, I think than the experience that a lot

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Speaker 3: of my friends had. So I got to know my

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Speaker 3: father very closely. I got to really experience him as

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Speaker 3: a parent, as a father, as a man, as a

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Speaker 3: black man, and as a as someone who's acclementing, acclimating

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Speaker 3: excuse me, to a new culture. So I think it

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Speaker 3: really shaped me. It also shaped my confidence in myself. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: it shaped yeah. And it also shaped my unwavering determination

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Speaker 3: to and belief in myself that whatever it is what

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Speaker 3: I set my mind to do, I can actually do

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Speaker 3: and without worrying about or think overthinking how that might

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Speaker 3: fit into the reality that someone else has for me.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: You know, when I was doing research or your family,

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Speaker 2: I really grew a soft spot for your dad. And

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Speaker 2: the reason why I did is because I think one

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Speaker 2: of the biggest misconceptions about your family is the nature

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Speaker 2: of his relationship with your brother. And you know, when

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Speaker 2: I was doing my research, I realized it's your father.

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Speaker 2: He experienced a lot of lass because, if I'm not mistaken,

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Speaker 2: his father and his brother were killed or they died

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Speaker 2: or something. It's like when they was in Haiti.

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Speaker 3: In Haiti right before my father got here, which was

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Speaker 3: part of the reason, a big part of the reason

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Speaker 3: why my grandmother allowed him to come here at you know,

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Speaker 3: at eighteen.

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Speaker 2: Years old, right, And I feel like he was on

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Speaker 2: his journey of pursuing his threat and shaping his own freedom.

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Speaker 2: Which is so funny because the name of your podcast

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Speaker 2: is called Shaping Freedom.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So, knowing everything that you know about what your

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Speaker 2: father carried with him when it comes to the grief

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Speaker 2: and the sacrifice and the resilience, how do you think

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Speaker 2: that shaped the way he fathered all of y'all.

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Speaker 3: I think my father, like any other parent, you wind

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Speaker 3: up learning how to You wind up learning how to

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Speaker 3: parent yourself in parallel with the experience of parenting your

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Speaker 3: children and what you wind up doing whether you choose

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Speaker 3: to show up for the opportunity or not is having

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Speaker 3: this opportunity to reconcile your childhood and so from my

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Speaker 3: father specifically Gerard Bosque is his name for my father. Specifically,

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Speaker 3: he came to this country at a relatively young age,

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Speaker 3: and so that meant that he was here in this country,

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Speaker 3: in a foreign country by himself.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, but no blueprints and.

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Speaker 3: With no blueprints, so he had to create the blueprint

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Speaker 3: himself and decide how he was going to move forward.

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Speaker 3: And then you have children, and unfortunately, fortunately or fortunately

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Speaker 3: you don't really recognize that you are walking a journey

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Speaker 3: in parallel with another human being that you bring into

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Speaker 3: the world while you're still trying to figure out yourself.

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Speaker 5: That's a lot.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and I'm a parent, I'm a grand mother today.

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Speaker 2: I am okayd ama, Yes, I am.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And so I mean that's one of the things

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Speaker 3: that I recognize and didn't recognize as fully until I

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Speaker 3: became a parent myself. You know. So while you're thinking about, well,

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Speaker 3: I wanted to do this and now I'm in court,

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Speaker 3: you know, I really always wanted to be a teacher

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Speaker 3: and social work and for me at the time, social

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Speaker 3: work meant something different than what it really means for me.

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Speaker 3: It was. I care about the world. I care about

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Speaker 3: our society, and why do people why are women put

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Speaker 3: into this box? Like why for a woman who chooses

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Speaker 3: to be at home or to be a housewife or

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Speaker 3: to do that, that's a wonderful thing and she has

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Speaker 3: the right to do that. And for a woman who

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Speaker 3: chooses to do that and also live her own dreams,

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Speaker 3: why is that so challenging? And why what is it

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Speaker 3: that a person has to do to unlock within themselves

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Speaker 3: the ability to be able to stand with a foot

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Speaker 3: in two different worlds in order to in order to

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Speaker 3: be to be whole for herself and in order to

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Speaker 3: have a positive relationship with herself. And we do all

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Speaker 3: of that work while we're showing up for children.

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Speaker 2: That's a lot.

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Speaker 3: It is a lot, and I think that sometimes we

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Speaker 3: underestimate how a lot it truly truly is. And so

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Speaker 3: for me sitting here, I look at my ancestors that

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Speaker 3: include at this point, my father, my brother, and my

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Speaker 3: mother Matilda Bosquah, my grandparents, and I look at how

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Speaker 3: at the decisions that they made and some of the

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Speaker 3: decisions that they believed that they had to make, all

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Speaker 3: while taking care of other people. It is a lot.

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Speaker 3: It's a huge journey, and I think that we humans

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Speaker 3: can give ourselves a little bit of grace and a break.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. You know, you have such a beautiful voice.

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Speaker 5: Anybody told you that?

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Speaker 1: Thank you?

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Speaker 2: I feel like it is like, so I'm like trying

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Speaker 2: to pay attention.

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Speaker 5: I'm like, oh my god, her voice.

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Speaker 3: Thank you, thank you. I was just going to say,

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Speaker 3: I think the whole thing is, you know, we're I

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Speaker 3: think that we believe that we're supposed to do things

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Speaker 3: in a certain way, and then life steps in. And

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Speaker 3: so you did make mention of my father's grief and

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Speaker 3: going back to that for a moment, and I appreciate

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Speaker 3: the fact that you brought that up because what happened

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Speaker 3: is and what happened with him happens with anyone who

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Speaker 3: any parent that loses their child, and losing a child

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Speaker 3: and having any aspect of that very person and intimate

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Speaker 3: pain in a public way just exacerbates the entire situation.

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Speaker 3: So what my father and my mother wound up doing

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Speaker 3: is experiencing the loss of their son, their oldest child,

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Speaker 3: while also stepping in to make sure that my son,

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Speaker 3: that my brother's interests were taken care of because he

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Speaker 3: was the artist that he was, while also having two

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Speaker 3: other children that he had to you know, parent and

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Speaker 3: continue to go through life with. And so that is

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Speaker 3: grief while living. That's incredible pain while living. And it's

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Speaker 3: also the challenge of doing all of that while having

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Speaker 3: people the public have opinions about it and also genuinely

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Speaker 3: love and respect and your your child. So that is

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Speaker 3: not an easy journey to walk, and it wasn't easy

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Speaker 3: for him, nor was it easy for my mom, and

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Speaker 3: it certainly is challenging for my sister.

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Speaker 2: And I Yeah, you know, I'm jumping ahead, but that

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Speaker 2: was definitely one of my questions when I was doing

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Speaker 2: my research on you. And I'm not gonna say no names,

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Speaker 2: but y'all was on a particular show and this person

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Speaker 2: was being very insensitive with the questions and I can

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Speaker 2: tell you gave a look, and so did your sister,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh, they hold it back. But I

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Speaker 2: feel like a lot of times people forget the family

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Speaker 2: or the human behind the legacy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, they do. I think people forget the family behind

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Speaker 3: the legacy. And I think that people also forget that

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Speaker 3: this is my brother right who passed, who passed away,

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Speaker 3: And it's very easy sometimes to or let me let me,

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Speaker 3: let me restate that I think people do forget. Most

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00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:06,480
Speaker 3: people are so excited about the profound impact that Seam

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Speaker 3: Michelle has had on their lives that they just want

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Speaker 3: to get that out. And for me, what has helped

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Speaker 3: is to gently remind people, you know, is the space

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Speaker 3: that they're actually stepping into. Now. My sister and I

393
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Speaker 3: are not the only siblings to have lost a sibling.

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Speaker 3: We're not the only women to have lost a sibling.

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Speaker 3: It is a very unique experience and it changes the

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Speaker 3: course of the way that you interact, even with your parents,

397
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:42,399
Speaker 3: because your parents become very delicate because they're going through

398
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:47,240
Speaker 3: incredible reasons for obvious reasons. And so you know, as

399
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:49,800
Speaker 3: a child in that, even if you're an adult, because

400
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Speaker 3: I was twenty four years old when Jeff Michelle passed

401
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:57,920
Speaker 3: away and my sister was twenty one, you step differently,

402
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:03,359
Speaker 3: you do. And I think that there are times that

403
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Speaker 3: people are a little insensitive and I remind them with love,

404
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Speaker 3: with love, respectfully, respectfully and with love, and most people

405
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Speaker 3: most people get that and they are apologetic or you know,

406
00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:22,040
Speaker 3: they hear it, and some people don't. And then you know,

407
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Speaker 3: I'm from Brooklyn, I can get my point across.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, oh I saw you gave the first thing. Look

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Speaker 2: I said, there she go. So that's a long time

410
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Speaker 2: about bigxus No.

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Speaker 3: Diane, that that helped me though, I see something positive

412
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Speaker 3: in every single experience when I got it. When when

413
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:44,080
Speaker 3: that was over, I know, I'm yeah, of course I do.

414
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Speaker 3: I was like, oh, we did that. Okay, that was

415
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:52,879
Speaker 3: it's done. So it happened once and and it helped

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Speaker 3: Shinning and I both I think to know what we're

417
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Speaker 3: made of. Yea, And it was okay.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

419
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Speaker 2: I can't stop laughing because I was literally just watching this,

420
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:13,240
Speaker 2: watching that interview, and I was talking to my cousin

421
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:16,520
Speaker 2: because he loved everything about your family's legacy, and he

422
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:18,080
Speaker 2: was like, yeah, I don't know why he did that,

423
00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:20,720
Speaker 2: and he started using colorful language, and I'm like, calm damn,

424
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Speaker 2: calm down. I was like, they handle it with grace,

425
00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:24,760
Speaker 2: like they did their thing.

426
00:25:25,359 --> 00:25:28,280
Speaker 3: No, he was cutting up. That was unnecessary. Yeah, definitely,

427
00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:31,760
Speaker 3: but it's okay. But it's okay. M h it happens. Now.

428
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Speaker 2: Did your brother ever have a moment where he felt

429
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Speaker 2: like he made it, especially in your in your father's eyes, Like,

430
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Speaker 2: did they ever have that moment when your father was

431
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:41,880
Speaker 2: able to see like, Okay, I see it now.

432
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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I think it happened along the way.

433
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Speaker 3: Things don't always happen in that kind of like boys

434
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:50,280
Speaker 3: in the hood moment, right, Like sometimes it's just like

435
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:53,800
Speaker 3: you know, going to an opening or seeing the look

436
00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:57,240
Speaker 3: on someone's face or seeing something beautiful that they created.

437
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Speaker 3: I think that Jeamishah has left a legacy boat during

438
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:05,600
Speaker 3: his lifetime and after that creates this feeling of awe

439
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:11,800
Speaker 3: and respect in the people who view what he's created.

440
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:15,760
Speaker 3: So I know they had their moments where they had

441
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:18,080
Speaker 3: their moments where my father was really afraid. He's like,

442
00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:19,639
Speaker 3: what do you mean You're gonna be walking around with

443
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:21,760
Speaker 3: your red locks and your hair and you're gonna be

444
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:24,000
Speaker 3: a painter. Like my father's like, you better go and

445
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:28,280
Speaker 3: become an accountant or a lawyer, right, get your white

446
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:30,720
Speaker 3: picket fence and get it together. You want to do

447
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:34,639
Speaker 3: what you wonder, what you know. But that's and that

448
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:37,600
Speaker 3: is the situation that confronts a lot of fathers and

449
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:40,439
Speaker 3: sons and sons with their fathers where it's like my

450
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:45,320
Speaker 3: father had this diligence and this determination and the strength,

451
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:51,520
Speaker 3: and what he got confronted with was the mirror of

452
00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:55,720
Speaker 3: the diligence, the work, ethic, the strength. But they were

453
00:26:56,680 --> 00:27:01,440
Speaker 3: headed in two different directions. But the behavior and the

454
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:05,080
Speaker 3: things that drove my brother were the very same things

455
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:08,280
Speaker 3: that drove my father. So in terms of success and

456
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:12,800
Speaker 3: the realization of a dream, they both had a recipe

457
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:16,080
Speaker 3: for doing that and then had their unique spin on it. So, yes,

458
00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:19,679
Speaker 3: they had lots of moments where my father had to

459
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 3: admit or acknowledge that my brother's path, that my brother

460
00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:28,520
Speaker 3: knew was his path, was indeed the path for him.

461
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:31,199
Speaker 2: Oh that is so, that's exactly what I have in

462
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:33,679
Speaker 2: my notes. I feel like your father was his blueprint,

463
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:34,960
Speaker 2: but just in a different form.

464
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:39,040
Speaker 3: Absolutely, But people don't always recognize that, right, Like you

465
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:42,400
Speaker 3: look at a lot of you know, parents, when there's

466
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:46,520
Speaker 3: a parent and a child adult or otherwise that is

467
00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:48,880
Speaker 3: running into conflict. I think that if we can take

468
00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:53,320
Speaker 3: a step beneath the story, a step beneath the thing

469
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:56,760
Speaker 3: that people are arguing back and forth about, and go

470
00:27:57,040 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 3: a couple of layers underneath, we can almost always find

471
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:04,280
Speaker 3: there's a common there's a commonality there, there's a common

472
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,639
Speaker 3: intention there, and what we fight with our parents or

473
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:12,240
Speaker 3: our children about is mostly about the how, the way

474
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:15,280
Speaker 3: they choose to do the thing. It's not the what.

475
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:19,240
Speaker 3: But we focus on the what exactly, and we stay

476
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:23,760
Speaker 3: at the what, and then we walk away never getting

477
00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:27,840
Speaker 3: to the place where we can really acknowledge. We focus

478
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:30,840
Speaker 3: on the what, and we don't versus.

479
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:31,560
Speaker 5: The how exactly.

480
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:34,040
Speaker 2: And I always say when I'm praying for certain things,

481
00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:36,120
Speaker 2: I focus on what. I let God worry.

482
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:36,600
Speaker 5: About the how.

483
00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:39,360
Speaker 3: Exactly, because we get so.

484
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:41,120
Speaker 2: Caught up in the how, and then next thing, you know,

485
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:43,440
Speaker 2: nothing's moving. Like just focus on what you suposed to

486
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:44,880
Speaker 2: focus on and keep That's right.

487
00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:49,000
Speaker 3: That's right. And both my brother chem Mischalle Boscat and

488
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:51,560
Speaker 3: my father Gerard Boscatt, I don't know if you went

489
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:54,640
Speaker 3: to the exhibition, the King Pleasure Exhibition or not.

490
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:55,880
Speaker 5: I know I missed it.

491
00:28:56,480 --> 00:28:58,200
Speaker 2: Oh I know, I know, but I'm not missing the

492
00:28:58,200 --> 00:28:58,560
Speaker 2: next one.

493
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:00,520
Speaker 5: And I got a direct so.

494
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:04,160
Speaker 3: We're not doing that one again. But I will say

495
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:08,160
Speaker 3: something else that right always. But what I will say

496
00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:14,000
Speaker 3: is that there's a page from my father's address book

497
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:15,880
Speaker 3: when he was very very young, and it says, I'm

498
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:21,040
Speaker 3: going to be I'm going to be a successful American businessman, right,

499
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:24,600
Speaker 3: And that was his proclamation, and that's what he went

500
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:27,840
Speaker 3: to go do. And my brother did the same thing

501
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:34,080
Speaker 3: about becoming a prolific and incredible artist. And so I

502
00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:37,520
Speaker 3: think the lesson in that for all of us is

503
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:40,400
Speaker 3: get clear about what it is that you want, get

504
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:43,880
Speaker 3: clear about the what, and then figure out the how.

505
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:46,440
Speaker 3: So you can't they have to work with each other.

506
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:48,960
Speaker 3: Be clear about why you want it first of all.

507
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:51,440
Speaker 3: Then get clear about what it is that you want,

508
00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:54,440
Speaker 3: and then work through the how. And if you do that,

509
00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:58,480
Speaker 3: the things we want actually can happen and manifest.

510
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:01,840
Speaker 2: That's a fact. That is a fact. And I'm not

511
00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 2: missing the next one. She gave me a side eye,

512
00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 2: y'all for the listeners. You know what side I I'm

513
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:08,960
Speaker 2: not missing the next exhibit.

514
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:10,960
Speaker 5: When it I was beating myself up.

515
00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:14,880
Speaker 3: We're not doing that exhibition anymore. We did it, we

516
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:17,120
Speaker 3: did LA, we did we did New York, we did LA.

517
00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:21,080
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, whenever a new exhibit comes, I'm not missing it.

518
00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:23,960
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be right there, okay, okay, between you and

519
00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:25,160
Speaker 2: your sister hugging y'all like.

520
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:27,640
Speaker 3: That's okay.

521
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:33,040
Speaker 2: Now, I feel like another misconception of John Michelle is

522
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:35,640
Speaker 2: that he would have had a problem with the Tiffany

523
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:38,120
Speaker 2: exhibit or the add with Beyonce and jay Z. But

524
00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:39,400
Speaker 2: I don't feel like he would have had a problem

525
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:41,720
Speaker 2: with that because your brother loved luxury.

526
00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:45,080
Speaker 3: My brother loved luxury. Yes, So that's how I was

527
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:47,120
Speaker 3: going to ask, from what perspective do you think that

528
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:49,239
Speaker 3: people believe that he would have a problem with it.

529
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 2: I just feel like it was a lot of noise

530
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:53,720
Speaker 2: that people were always talking about how they didn't agree

531
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:58,120
Speaker 2: with that, with his artwork being associated with Tiffany and

532
00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:00,720
Speaker 2: jay Z and beyonceing things so that nature I'm like, wow,

533
00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:04,680
Speaker 2: like this is the man that used to wear Aremani suits.

534
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:06,880
Speaker 3: Like, I don't know, you mean the man the man

535
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:12,480
Speaker 3: who wore Amani suits, who drank sake, who wrote limousines,

536
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:15,640
Speaker 3: had a Leke crousette before. I mean, come on, now,

537
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:19,040
Speaker 3: I think that there are people do say that there

538
00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:24,000
Speaker 3: are those comments, and I and my sister try to

539
00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:29,160
Speaker 3: focus on the eighty five or ninety percent of the

540
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:31,360
Speaker 3: other comments, and there were always people who step in

541
00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:34,640
Speaker 3: and say, you know, his you know, he wouldn't agree

542
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:36,560
Speaker 3: with this, so he wouldn't agree with that. And the

543
00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:38,840
Speaker 3: truth of the matter is is that if you understand

544
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:46,360
Speaker 3: the that things take money. Yeah, that and that che

545
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:51,000
Speaker 3: Michelle loved buying things, and he had a really good

546
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:54,280
Speaker 3: time and he enjoyed his time on this planet. And

547
00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:57,800
Speaker 3: he did with his money what he chose to do

548
00:31:57,840 --> 00:32:00,880
Speaker 3: with his money as he should, as he should And

549
00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:03,320
Speaker 3: just like there's a tiffany thing. And maybe there's some

550
00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:07,280
Speaker 3: people who disagree with that that it's okay because it's

551
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:10,440
Speaker 3: not their decision to make, but there were also just

552
00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 3: you know, we also have you know, we've also done

553
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:19,840
Speaker 3: deals and licensing deals with other companies. Our goal is

554
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:24,240
Speaker 3: to make sell Michell's art work accessible and so we

555
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:24,880
Speaker 3: have done that.

556
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:29,080
Speaker 2: Now, if both your father and John Michelle were here today,

557
00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:31,400
Speaker 2: what kind of conversations do you think they're be having

558
00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:33,320
Speaker 2: with each other.

559
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:38,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think they'd be having the same conversations Ebana,

560
00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:43,840
Speaker 3: that that any father and son would have. You know,

561
00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:46,160
Speaker 3: I think they'd be talking about the world. I think

562
00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 3: they'd be talking about what's happening in the world, what's

563
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:52,520
Speaker 3: happening in this country, what's you know, they'd be talking

564
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:57,840
Speaker 3: about popular culture for sure, because we talked a lot

565
00:32:57,880 --> 00:33:01,479
Speaker 3: about that. We grew up talk about popular culture and

566
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:06,880
Speaker 3: you know, about film and music and art and all

567
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:09,160
Speaker 3: of those things, and I think those conversations would have

568
00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:13,960
Speaker 3: continued and evolved into wherever they were going to evolve to.

569
00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:17,120
Speaker 2: Now as a black man in art, do you know

570
00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:21,080
Speaker 2: if people ever questioned John Michelle's greatness? And the reason

571
00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:23,640
Speaker 2: why I asked is because I feel like oftentimes when

572
00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:26,880
Speaker 2: black people aren't allowed to be great, like everything has

573
00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:29,120
Speaker 2: to be justified or it has to be a reason,

574
00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:30,840
Speaker 2: like it just can't be pure talent.

575
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:35,120
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I think he was. If you've seen any

576
00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:37,680
Speaker 3: of his any of the interviews that were done, he

577
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:43,360
Speaker 3: was constantly challenged and his patience was constantly tested. Because

578
00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:47,920
Speaker 3: he was people wanted to put him into a box.

579
00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:50,880
Speaker 3: And if you know anything at all about Sea Michelle Bosquiat,

580
00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:53,120
Speaker 3: He's not going to be put into a box. And

581
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:58,160
Speaker 3: so people would say things like, you know, he was

582
00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:01,520
Speaker 3: a black artist, and they wouldn't say that as a

583
00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:05,000
Speaker 3: way of honoring him. They would say it as a

584
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:07,560
Speaker 3: way of you know, he's an artist, but he's black,

585
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:12,040
Speaker 3: and he's black, and he was not happy about that.

586
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:15,000
Speaker 3: And there are actually a few interviews where he pushed

587
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:18,239
Speaker 3: back and said, no, I'm just an artist. You know,

588
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:21,520
Speaker 3: I'm just an artist because when you look at the

589
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:27,080
Speaker 3: magnificence that is Jean Michel Basquier, you forget like you

590
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:29,439
Speaker 3: look at his art and it's like, this is an

591
00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:36,080
Speaker 3: incredible artist amongst all artists from all places and all times.

592
00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:41,640
Speaker 3: He's an incredible, incredible artist. So, yes, he struggled with

593
00:34:41,719 --> 00:34:43,680
Speaker 3: that quite a bit, or other people struggled. I mean,

594
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:46,040
Speaker 3: he didn't struggle. He knew who he was, but he

595
00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:49,480
Speaker 3: did confront people who wanted to put him into a

596
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:57,279
Speaker 3: box or people who chose to express their racism in

597
00:34:57,320 --> 00:34:57,840
Speaker 3: his face.

598
00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:02,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, your relationship with your mother influence how you show

599
00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:04,240
Speaker 2: up with show up in relationships today.

600
00:35:09,719 --> 00:35:13,880
Speaker 3: My relationship with my mother was that's a good question, Ebane.

601
00:35:14,120 --> 00:35:19,760
Speaker 2: My relationship with little Oprah.

602
00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:22,359
Speaker 3: My relationship my relationship with my mother was a really

603
00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:25,680
Speaker 3: beautiful one. We didn't I saw my mother every weekend.

604
00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:28,280
Speaker 3: I was in contact with my mother all the time,

605
00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:31,360
Speaker 3: and it wasn't until I was in my until I

606
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:35,520
Speaker 3: had my son Joseph, that I got to really sit

607
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:41,640
Speaker 3: down and confront my mother with the loss and abandonment

608
00:35:41,719 --> 00:35:45,080
Speaker 3: at the time that I felt at the time not

609
00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:48,680
Speaker 3: having grown up in the home with my mother. Again,

610
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:51,160
Speaker 3: like I said before, I knew of people who grew

611
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:53,480
Speaker 3: up without their father in the house, but I didn't

612
00:35:53,520 --> 00:35:56,239
Speaker 3: know anyone who grew up without their mom. And so

613
00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:59,400
Speaker 3: I was very angry, and I was very confused, and

614
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:05,640
Speaker 3: I felt very hurt by that. And when my mother

615
00:36:05,719 --> 00:36:08,279
Speaker 3: and I finally had the opportunity to sit down and

616
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:12,479
Speaker 3: really talk about it, what I commended my mother for

617
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:16,040
Speaker 3: and what my mother modeled for me as a mother

618
00:36:16,120 --> 00:36:20,400
Speaker 3: and as a woman today is how to stand and

619
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:26,440
Speaker 3: to take accountability for the decisions, to take responsibility and

620
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:29,920
Speaker 3: accountability for the decisions that were made. And so I

621
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:34,000
Speaker 3: remember going to her and talking to her about all

622
00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:37,200
Speaker 3: the things that I experienced and what my mother would

623
00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:39,479
Speaker 3: say to me that I didn't fully understand at the time.

624
00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:43,319
Speaker 3: Where that frustrated me at the time was I did

625
00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:45,200
Speaker 3: that because I believed that that was the right thing

626
00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:48,719
Speaker 3: for you kids, and it was. She didn't back down

627
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:52,719
Speaker 3: off her thing, off of her decision, She didn't make

628
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:57,520
Speaker 3: excuses for her decision. She allowed me to sit in

629
00:36:57,560 --> 00:37:02,640
Speaker 3: the truth of her decision and allowed me to sit

630
00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:09,360
Speaker 3: in the truth of what her decision did to me.

631
00:37:09,719 --> 00:37:12,200
Speaker 3: Or how I was impacted by the truth of her

632
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:17,560
Speaker 3: decision and to truly truly process that versus trying to

633
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:22,480
Speaker 3: versus allowing me to try to make her make it

634
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:26,960
Speaker 3: better for me, although it already happened, and that was

635
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:33,760
Speaker 3: that took incredible courage on her part and incredible love

636
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:36,080
Speaker 3: to allow me to sit in the truth of that.

637
00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:43,120
Speaker 3: And so that, coupled with not having grown up in

638
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:48,040
Speaker 3: a home with my mother and having grown up under

639
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:50,880
Speaker 3: some of the circumstances that I did, being different, feeling

640
00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:56,600
Speaker 3: different and all that, it has helped me to have

641
00:37:56,680 --> 00:38:01,160
Speaker 3: more grace for people. It's also helped me to see

642
00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:04,239
Speaker 3: the world outside of the mainstream kind of we can

643
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:05,760
Speaker 3: only think these three things.

644
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:06,080
Speaker 4: Right.

645
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:08,600
Speaker 3: If we don't think these three things, if we don't

646
00:38:08,719 --> 00:38:12,640
Speaker 3: sign up for these three ideals, we're not black, we're

647
00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:16,160
Speaker 3: not people, we don't belong. You know. It really helped

648
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:20,120
Speaker 3: me to see through the facade of that and to

649
00:38:20,239 --> 00:38:26,400
Speaker 3: be more inclusive, more welcoming, more understanding, and more forgiving

650
00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:29,080
Speaker 3: humans because humans just human.

651
00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:32,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, we just you know, that's so funny you

652
00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:36,520
Speaker 2: said that, because I'm in an exact situation with my father.

653
00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:39,400
Speaker 2: I never met my father, but we have been trying

654
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 2: to build a relationship for a thousand years now, and

655
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:45,160
Speaker 2: finally I'm just at a place I'm like, you know what,

656
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:47,440
Speaker 2: let me just meet this man where he's at, Like

657
00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:49,680
Speaker 2: we already hear now, there is no need to have

658
00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:50,799
Speaker 2: let the past.

659
00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:51,200
Speaker 5: Be the past.

660
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:53,640
Speaker 2: And I believe at the I believe that since I'm

661
00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:55,520
Speaker 2: allowing him to just be a man and to be

662
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:59,320
Speaker 2: honest about his shortcomings. Because my father has always struggled

663
00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:04,560
Speaker 2: with drugs, it has taught me compassion. Yeah, it really has.

664
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:07,200
Speaker 2: And I didn't think that someone who has hurt me

665
00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:11,160
Speaker 2: and who was never in my life and teach me that.

666
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:13,480
Speaker 2: So I really appreciate you sharing it. And that's something

667
00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:15,839
Speaker 2: that I've been sharing with my listeners. Just you got

668
00:39:15,840 --> 00:39:17,440
Speaker 2: to get people grace and you got to meet them

669
00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:18,240
Speaker 2: word they Yet.

670
00:39:18,719 --> 00:39:23,200
Speaker 3: Can I say something else about that? So my mother

671
00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:30,479
Speaker 3: struggled with mental illness and that just exacerbated the entire

672
00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:33,560
Speaker 3: thing for me, and I think that the thing that

673
00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:37,399
Speaker 3: really helped, And I will say this, by the time

674
00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:40,439
Speaker 3: my mother passed away in two thousand and eight, and

675
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:43,520
Speaker 3: for a good ten to fifteen years before that, my

676
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:49,239
Speaker 3: mother and I enjoyed the best relationship ever, Nay the

677
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:53,000
Speaker 3: best and the reason why we were able to enjoy

678
00:39:53,320 --> 00:40:00,120
Speaker 3: the best relationship, the closest relationship, was because we lived

679
00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:07,839
Speaker 3: in a space of accepting life for what it was,

680
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:12,520
Speaker 3: not for what I wanted it to be. Because sometimes

681
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:15,320
Speaker 3: if you if you're in this situation with a parent

682
00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:20,840
Speaker 3: or with anyone, and you go into it never accepting

683
00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:25,239
Speaker 3: what is, that's where the pain comes. The pain comes

684
00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:28,640
Speaker 3: in when we resist the truth. When I was able

685
00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:32,400
Speaker 3: to say I grew up without my mother in my house,

686
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:35,440
Speaker 3: when I had you know, when when when when I

687
00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:38,560
Speaker 3: got my period, I didn't have a mother. When I

688
00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:42,360
Speaker 3: you know, met my first boyfriend and had that situation,

689
00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:45,600
Speaker 3: I didn't have the softness of my mother to tell

690
00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:48,439
Speaker 3: me and guide me through that. I see all these

691
00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:51,799
Speaker 3: other people who had the mother with the apron, you know,

692
00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 3: the mama who would bring him into their bus and

693
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:56,719
Speaker 3: making I didn't have that making cookies and stuff. I

694
00:40:56,719 --> 00:41:01,320
Speaker 3: didn't have that right right. But when I was willing,

695
00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:03,320
Speaker 3: when I got to the point where I was willing

696
00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:07,239
Speaker 3: to truly live in the truth of what happened and

697
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:11,120
Speaker 3: to accept it and not resist it, even though there

698
00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:14,439
Speaker 3: were parts of that story that I wished had been

699
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:17,680
Speaker 3: different or would have wanted to have been different. It

700
00:41:17,719 --> 00:41:22,000
Speaker 3: opened up a completely different door to the ability for

701
00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:25,600
Speaker 3: my mother and I to enjoy a real, true friendship.

702
00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:28,520
Speaker 3: We were not going to go back to and we

703
00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:30,759
Speaker 3: had that. We had it out with that too. Where

704
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:33,279
Speaker 3: she was. I remember one day, if I do I

705
00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:34,160
Speaker 3: have a moment to tell.

706
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:35,880
Speaker 5: You, work all time in the world.

707
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:40,040
Speaker 3: So my mother, my mother was This is after I

708
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:43,120
Speaker 3: had Joseph. My mother had come to babysit and so

709
00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:45,200
Speaker 3: I was like, I'm gonna try this out and see,

710
00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:48,560
Speaker 3: you know whatever. And so she was babysitting, taking care

711
00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:51,280
Speaker 3: of Joseph is what she was doing, my son. And

712
00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:54,120
Speaker 3: she was at my house for the weekend. And so

713
00:41:54,239 --> 00:41:56,239
Speaker 3: I at the time, I was working at night, and

714
00:41:56,320 --> 00:41:59,440
Speaker 3: so she would come during the week and stay with

715
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:02,480
Speaker 3: me so that I could go to work at night.

716
00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:04,120
Speaker 3: And you know, she was at home with Joseph during

717
00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:06,719
Speaker 3: the day, during the day while I was sleeping, and

718
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:09,640
Speaker 3: at night while I was at work. Anyway, I remember

719
00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:12,239
Speaker 3: coming in one day and my mother was sitting on

720
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:16,239
Speaker 3: the couch and Evan and she was sitting there with

721
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:19,160
Speaker 3: that look that a parent has when you have done

722
00:42:19,239 --> 00:42:22,719
Speaker 3: something wrong. And I walked in and I'm like, hey,

723
00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:25,760
Speaker 3: you know whatever, and what's going on? And she says,

724
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:29,279
Speaker 3: and she takes these three photos and she throws them

725
00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:32,719
Speaker 3: on the table. And I looked at the photos and

726
00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:35,200
Speaker 3: I had taken these photos. I was these are photos

727
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:39,040
Speaker 3: I took with my boyfriend. Let me just say that,

728
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:42,560
Speaker 3: because I'm like, what type of photos were they? And

729
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:45,960
Speaker 3: I looked at her and I said what And she says,

730
00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:50,319
Speaker 3: what is that? And I said, well, they're what they

731
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:53,680
Speaker 3: look like. The bigger question is where'd you get it? Right?

732
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:56,600
Speaker 3: And she says, oh, I just got them there in

733
00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:58,839
Speaker 3: your room. I said, oh, yeah, they were in my room,

734
00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:03,120
Speaker 3: in my all underneath everything on the bottom, which means

735
00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:06,000
Speaker 3: you were looking through my stuff. What would be right?

736
00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:08,799
Speaker 3: And so, you know, we kind of went back and

737
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:11,440
Speaker 3: forth for a couple of minutes about that, and then

738
00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:16,120
Speaker 3: I looked at her and I just said, listen, can

739
00:43:16,160 --> 00:43:20,560
Speaker 3: you not try like you don't have to make up

740
00:43:21,520 --> 00:43:25,799
Speaker 3: for the fact that you weren't there when I was younger? Right,

741
00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:29,440
Speaker 3: this feels like an old kind of thing because I

742
00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:31,640
Speaker 3: was at this point, I lived by myself, I'm an apartment,

743
00:43:31,719 --> 00:43:33,360
Speaker 3: I had my own kid, I was you know, grown,

744
00:43:33,440 --> 00:43:36,000
Speaker 3: you were grown and I was grown or I thought

745
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:38,880
Speaker 3: I was grown so at that point. So then what

746
00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:41,880
Speaker 3: it helped both of us, I think to realize is

747
00:43:42,239 --> 00:43:45,719
Speaker 3: you can't go back. You can only move forward. You

748
00:43:45,760 --> 00:43:47,839
Speaker 3: can accept each other for where you are, you can

749
00:43:47,880 --> 00:43:51,239
Speaker 3: accept the situation that you're in, you can forgive each other,

750
00:43:51,560 --> 00:43:54,279
Speaker 3: and you can only move forward. And so us being

751
00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:56,680
Speaker 3: able to do that, me not trying to get her

752
00:43:56,719 --> 00:44:01,000
Speaker 3: to be my mommy when I was six again, and

753
00:44:01,120 --> 00:44:03,080
Speaker 3: her not trying to get me to be six years

754
00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:06,719
Speaker 3: old so she could be my mommy really helped us

755
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:09,319
Speaker 3: to get to know each other as humans, to get

756
00:44:09,320 --> 00:44:12,080
Speaker 3: to know each other as women, and then later to

757
00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:15,200
Speaker 3: get to know each other as in our roles as parents,

758
00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:19,360
Speaker 3: even though they were so unconventional.

759
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:22,200
Speaker 2: You know, I'm gonna have a real honest moment because

760
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:23,280
Speaker 2: I want to ask you a question.

761
00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:24,239
Speaker 5: Is hard?

762
00:44:24,360 --> 00:44:25,799
Speaker 2: Was it hard for you to tell your mother you

763
00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:27,920
Speaker 2: love her? And the reason why I'm asking you that

764
00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:31,600
Speaker 2: is because my father, I think he's trying to live

765
00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:33,840
Speaker 2: and have those moments with me, and I'm like, we

766
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:37,239
Speaker 2: passed that, Like I'm pushing forty now, Like there's I

767
00:44:37,239 --> 00:44:39,200
Speaker 2: think right now, you just need to meet me where

768
00:44:39,239 --> 00:44:42,200
Speaker 2: we at and list build a relationship, and I feel

769
00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:44,960
Speaker 2: like he's always telling me which I understand and which

770
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:46,879
Speaker 2: I because I am his child and I'm his only child,

771
00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:49,800
Speaker 2: so he expresses his love, but it has been really

772
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:52,120
Speaker 2: difficult for me to say I love you.

773
00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:56,640
Speaker 3: Back because you haven't forgiven him. And as long as

774
00:44:56,680 --> 00:45:00,879
Speaker 3: you haven't forgiven him, if I can, yeah, as long

775
00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:09,000
Speaker 3: as you haven't forgiven him, you're holding that tension within

776
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:14,680
Speaker 3: your own mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual body. And so

777
00:45:14,719 --> 00:45:21,200
Speaker 3: the reason so it could be that you believe that,

778
00:45:21,680 --> 00:45:24,440
Speaker 3: or let me ask you this question, why not tell

779
00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:26,839
Speaker 3: him you love them? I don't know.

780
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:29,919
Speaker 2: I just can't say it, like and sometimes I want

781
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:32,520
Speaker 2: to say it, like it's like it just won't come out.

782
00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:34,840
Speaker 3: Do you not want to let him off the hook?

783
00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:36,680
Speaker 3: I feel like I.

784
00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:40,239
Speaker 2: Did already, Like we talk every day, Like I feel

785
00:45:40,239 --> 00:45:42,839
Speaker 2: like I'm being very receptomp towards him, like even when

786
00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:46,560
Speaker 2: he has his moments or his shortcomings, like I'm okay

787
00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:48,719
Speaker 2: with it because I feel like I cannot have any

788
00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:51,120
Speaker 2: expectations if I want to have a relationship with you.

789
00:45:52,239 --> 00:45:54,319
Speaker 2: So but for some reason, I just can't say it,

790
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:56,359
Speaker 2: and then he'll be like, I love you or he'll

791
00:45:56,360 --> 00:45:58,280
Speaker 2: call me my Mila named Tierra. I love you Tierra

792
00:45:58,560 --> 00:46:00,920
Speaker 2: like I miss you this net and I just like, okay,

793
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:04,640
Speaker 2: that's nice to know, and I be I feel so horrible,

794
00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:06,560
Speaker 2: but I just can't say it.

795
00:46:07,960 --> 00:46:10,719
Speaker 3: Have you forgiven him? Yeah? I have?

796
00:46:13,200 --> 00:46:15,320
Speaker 2: I have, I promise I really have. Like I feel

797
00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:16,640
Speaker 2: like we've been trying.

798
00:46:16,719 --> 00:46:19,960
Speaker 3: Have you forgiven him in here? Like? Have you forgiven

799
00:46:20,040 --> 00:46:26,840
Speaker 3: him enough that you can look at this man, that

800
00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:30,560
Speaker 3: you can take the glasses off the lens through which

801
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:36,040
Speaker 3: you see him, and just as Ebene look at this

802
00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:41,080
Speaker 3: person as another human being? Have you forgiven him that much?

803
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:42,480
Speaker 2: I think so?

804
00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:49,480
Speaker 3: Okay, I think so okay, I think all right, okay.

805
00:46:49,719 --> 00:46:54,600
Speaker 3: I think sometimes when we've been hurt, we don't want

806
00:46:54,640 --> 00:47:00,480
Speaker 3: to be vulnerable toward the person because we kind of

807
00:47:00,480 --> 00:47:05,440
Speaker 3: build up a wall. Or maybe the truth is that

808
00:47:05,480 --> 00:47:05,920
Speaker 3: you don't.

809
00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:11,960
Speaker 2: M hmm, well, I guess I'll keep y'all posted.

810
00:47:14,560 --> 00:47:16,600
Speaker 3: I think keep us posted on that. But I do

811
00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:21,840
Speaker 3: think I think that if if you because you didn't

812
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:25,200
Speaker 3: say I really have it here and I'm holding it back,

813
00:47:25,280 --> 00:47:27,399
Speaker 3: it's like you have made a decision that you don't

814
00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:29,200
Speaker 3: want to do that right now. And I think that

815
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:35,440
Speaker 3: giving yourself grace because you've experienced something here too. Yeah, right,

816
00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:39,440
Speaker 3: you experienced something, and you experienced something both because he

817
00:47:39,520 --> 00:47:41,680
Speaker 3: wasn't there and both because of the challenges that he

818
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:46,080
Speaker 3: was going through. H And it takes time, you know,

819
00:47:46,320 --> 00:47:50,239
Speaker 3: And and I think that that's not something that you

820
00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:53,759
Speaker 3: can force upon your child.

821
00:47:54,320 --> 00:47:58,319
Speaker 2: Exactly, and.

822
00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:01,200
Speaker 3: Cannot force that. Yeah, yeah, you have to come to

823
00:48:01,239 --> 00:48:03,720
Speaker 3: a place when you get to the point where it's like, Okay,

824
00:48:03,760 --> 00:48:07,000
Speaker 3: those things happen. We can't go back in time. We

825
00:48:07,080 --> 00:48:11,160
Speaker 3: have to build a relationship from here. And so for him,

826
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:16,160
Speaker 3: it's not living through the guilt. Maybe I don't know him,

827
00:48:16,360 --> 00:48:19,640
Speaker 3: maybe not living through the guilt or the regret of

828
00:48:19,680 --> 00:48:22,239
Speaker 3: what happened in the past, and being able to just

829
00:48:22,680 --> 00:48:25,520
Speaker 3: be here with you today and for you to be

830
00:48:25,640 --> 00:48:29,440
Speaker 3: able to do your own work, whatever that is, and

831
00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:32,520
Speaker 3: to just be with the relationship, because if you two

832
00:48:32,560 --> 00:48:36,319
Speaker 3: can just be with each other, then you'll truly get

833
00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:40,359
Speaker 3: to know who you both are, versus him seeing you

834
00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:43,480
Speaker 3: as the daughter that he disappointed and hurt and you

835
00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:49,080
Speaker 3: possibly seeing him as the father who disappointed you and

836
00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:49,560
Speaker 3: I hurt you.

837
00:48:50,800 --> 00:48:52,080
Speaker 2: Well, guys, that's the end of the show.

838
00:48:56,400 --> 00:49:02,120
Speaker 3: You can cut all the satisfy. You said, cut it

839
00:49:02,160 --> 00:49:04,400
Speaker 3: all out now we have we really, we really have

840
00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:06,640
Speaker 3: to accept people for who they are, not for not

841
00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:09,279
Speaker 3: for who we want them to be. And I think

842
00:49:09,280 --> 00:49:12,200
Speaker 3: that that's true in every relationship, not the you know,

843
00:49:12,280 --> 00:49:15,319
Speaker 3: the sensitivity of the two relationships that you and I

844
00:49:15,360 --> 00:49:18,480
Speaker 3: are sharing, but I think in all relationships except people

845
00:49:18,480 --> 00:49:20,399
Speaker 3: for who they are, not for who you want them

846
00:49:20,440 --> 00:49:23,040
Speaker 3: to be. Some people you can close the door on them,

847
00:49:23,040 --> 00:49:25,400
Speaker 3: but you know they're coming back. That's parents, you know,

848
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:29,759
Speaker 3: and children like those familiar relationships are for the rest

849
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:37,319
Speaker 3: of our lives. And I think that forgiveness and not

850
00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:44,839
Speaker 3: holding people forever accountable while while also honoring the way

851
00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:48,239
Speaker 3: that we've been hurt in the experience. It was not

852
00:49:48,400 --> 00:49:51,440
Speaker 3: easy to live without my mother as a child, or

853
00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:54,200
Speaker 3: to to to have to parent myself in that way.

854
00:49:54,239 --> 00:49:57,000
Speaker 3: It was not easy. It wasn't easy to step into

855
00:49:57,080 --> 00:50:03,080
Speaker 3: relationships later on as a woman, not having witnessed a

856
00:50:03,160 --> 00:50:06,759
Speaker 3: relationship between my father and my mother. You know, those

857
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:09,920
Speaker 3: things were not easy. And I think that it was

858
00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:16,560
Speaker 3: once I was able to really see and console and

859
00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:20,759
Speaker 3: acknowledge the little girl, the littly son, the six year old,

860
00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:24,040
Speaker 3: the seven, the ten, and really just kind of give

861
00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:27,600
Speaker 3: her a nod of acknowledgment. It wasn't as I was

862
00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:31,279
Speaker 3: able and willing to do that that those feelings kind

863
00:50:31,280 --> 00:50:34,440
Speaker 3: of dissipated and allowed me to step more fully into

864
00:50:34,680 --> 00:50:35,640
Speaker 3: my present moment.

865
00:50:36,080 --> 00:50:39,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was good. Well, I know who to call

866
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:40,920
Speaker 2: when I'm having some daddy problems.

867
00:50:41,239 --> 00:50:44,720
Speaker 3: Girl, Please call me, Please call me. I would be honored.

868
00:50:54,360 --> 00:50:56,400
Speaker 2: Do you think we would ever get your family story

869
00:50:56,400 --> 00:50:58,600
Speaker 2: in full or is it even possible? Because I feel

870
00:50:58,640 --> 00:51:01,800
Speaker 2: like your family story is so rich and it's so layered.

871
00:51:03,719 --> 00:51:07,680
Speaker 3: I mean, I think if you if you went to

872
00:51:07,760 --> 00:51:13,160
Speaker 3: the exhibition that was our family story from the perspective

873
00:51:13,160 --> 00:51:16,880
Speaker 3: of Jem Michelle. Uh, if you read the catalog that

874
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:22,880
Speaker 3: Shannine and I authored, King Pleasure Catalog, it was less

875
00:51:22,880 --> 00:51:25,560
Speaker 3: an art catalog, although it had all of the art

876
00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:27,759
Speaker 3: from the show in there, but it was also a

877
00:51:27,880 --> 00:51:33,000
Speaker 3: walk through our life and our history. And I think

878
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:36,319
Speaker 3: that it's in pieces, just like everybody else's life. You know,

879
00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:41,520
Speaker 3: it's it's it's not you can't imagine telling an entire

880
00:51:43,239 --> 00:51:49,239
Speaker 3: the story of an entire line of ancestors through one

881
00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:55,000
Speaker 3: thing that's just one lens, one moment. I think it's pieces. Yeah,

882
00:51:55,040 --> 00:51:55,879
Speaker 3: it's pieces.

883
00:51:56,160 --> 00:52:00,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, grief doesn't have a timeline. So how has your reallylationship,

884
00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:06,680
Speaker 2: well loss shifted over the years.

885
00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:12,160
Speaker 3: I think you have the initial shock and grief and

886
00:52:12,200 --> 00:52:18,280
Speaker 3: then over time it evolves because we evolve as human beings.

887
00:52:18,320 --> 00:52:20,600
Speaker 3: So when my sister and I, when Jenny and I

888
00:52:20,680 --> 00:52:25,560
Speaker 3: were working on the King Pleasure exhibition, we got down

889
00:52:25,640 --> 00:52:28,160
Speaker 3: to coming up with the details for this book and

890
00:52:28,239 --> 00:52:34,160
Speaker 3: also putting the exhibition together, opened up another layer of

891
00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:37,680
Speaker 3: the grief. But it felt different, it was deeper, and

892
00:52:37,719 --> 00:52:42,040
Speaker 3: it also felt different because I had changed, I had evolved,

893
00:52:42,120 --> 00:52:44,560
Speaker 3: I was sitting in a different seat at that time.

894
00:52:46,120 --> 00:52:51,920
Speaker 3: And it also that particular exhibition really opened up the

895
00:52:52,040 --> 00:52:58,600
Speaker 3: door to my ability to process my own loss because

896
00:52:58,680 --> 00:53:02,400
Speaker 3: I kind of bowed to the loss that my parents

897
00:53:02,840 --> 00:53:06,879
Speaker 3: experienced because I felt like my loss can never be

898
00:53:07,200 --> 00:53:10,440
Speaker 3: what theirs is because this is their trial. Yeah, So

899
00:53:10,520 --> 00:53:13,520
Speaker 3: in a lot of ways, I kind of repressed allowing

900
00:53:13,560 --> 00:53:17,120
Speaker 3: myself to fully experience that grief and it came up.

901
00:53:17,320 --> 00:53:20,440
Speaker 3: It came up during the creation of that exhibition and

902
00:53:21,280 --> 00:53:23,880
Speaker 3: it was it felt good. It was deep, and it

903
00:53:23,920 --> 00:53:29,000
Speaker 3: was painful, you know, emotionally painful, but it was an

904
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:33,719
Speaker 3: incredible release because I was able to release something that

905
00:53:33,880 --> 00:53:38,839
Speaker 3: I didn't even know fully was there. Yeah, and so

906
00:53:38,880 --> 00:53:42,480
Speaker 3: it just helped me to see. I think grief is

907
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:46,440
Speaker 3: an interesting thing and it evolves over time.

908
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:50,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, one minute you crying, next minute you laugh.

909
00:53:50,320 --> 00:53:53,960
Speaker 3: And next minute you're talking to yourself like grief, what

910
00:53:54,160 --> 00:53:54,560
Speaker 3: have you?

911
00:53:54,640 --> 00:53:55,520
Speaker 5: On a roller coast?

912
00:53:55,520 --> 00:53:58,200
Speaker 3: How do you do it? Yes? But but showing up

913
00:53:58,239 --> 00:54:00,520
Speaker 3: for it, showing up for it and being willing to

914
00:54:00,560 --> 00:54:06,680
Speaker 3: process is the best way in my opinion, of going

915
00:54:06,760 --> 00:54:10,880
Speaker 3: of processing grief. I think what hurts is, like I

916
00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:14,960
Speaker 3: said before, resistance of things, and as it relates to grief,

917
00:54:15,040 --> 00:54:18,200
Speaker 3: what hurts is when we try to hold it back,

918
00:54:18,960 --> 00:54:21,520
Speaker 3: act like it's not there, act like it's not there,

919
00:54:21,920 --> 00:54:23,880
Speaker 3: or try to shove it down. It's not always the

920
00:54:23,880 --> 00:54:29,800
Speaker 3: appropriate moment, you know, to fully express it. But today,

921
00:54:29,960 --> 00:54:32,560
Speaker 3: what I've learned how to do, and there are a

922
00:54:32,600 --> 00:54:34,640
Speaker 3: lot of different kinds of grief, but what I've learned

923
00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:38,319
Speaker 3: how to do with regard to grief about anything, not

924
00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:42,520
Speaker 3: just my brother or is if I can't express it

925
00:54:42,640 --> 00:54:45,400
Speaker 3: or allow it to be released in that moment, I

926
00:54:45,560 --> 00:54:50,239
Speaker 3: make sure that I give honor to that grief that

927
00:54:50,320 --> 00:54:52,759
Speaker 3: wants to come out, so it happened. It happened a

928
00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:54,480
Speaker 3: couple of weeks ago. And it wasn't like a big,

929
00:54:54,520 --> 00:54:56,560
Speaker 3: big grief. It wasn't death or anything like that. It

930
00:54:56,640 --> 00:54:59,720
Speaker 3: was just about some other things. And I could feel

931
00:54:59,719 --> 00:55:01,880
Speaker 3: it coming up, and there was a moment where I

932
00:55:01,880 --> 00:55:04,880
Speaker 3: couldn't really express it. But I'll tell you this. I

933
00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:09,839
Speaker 3: got myself a bathtub running that epsince salves up in

934
00:55:09,880 --> 00:55:14,040
Speaker 3: that thing. I lit myself a shaping freedom candle, small

935
00:55:14,040 --> 00:55:17,840
Speaker 3: plug plug for my shaping fom candles. I lit myself

936
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:22,840
Speaker 3: a soothed candle, shaping freedom candle. I turned the lights

937
00:55:22,880 --> 00:55:27,040
Speaker 3: off in my bathroom, and I went to town and

938
00:55:27,239 --> 00:55:31,160
Speaker 3: cried my behind off. I cried, and I got out

939
00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:34,240
Speaker 3: and it was like okay, and really and I needed

940
00:55:34,239 --> 00:55:38,440
Speaker 3: that release and and and don't let the world and

941
00:55:38,480 --> 00:55:42,200
Speaker 3: the circumstances of the world convince you that you don't

942
00:55:42,239 --> 00:55:47,640
Speaker 3: have time to address yourself, to address what you need.

943
00:55:48,200 --> 00:55:52,120
Speaker 3: And by doing that, the next day, you know, I

944
00:55:52,120 --> 00:55:53,839
Speaker 3: went to sleep. I slept like a baby that night.

945
00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:59,759
Speaker 3: But the next day, I'm telling you it's some magnesium.

946
00:55:59,760 --> 00:56:03,680
Speaker 3: Those episodes, all of that perfect perfect. But I'll tell

947
00:56:03,719 --> 00:56:09,320
Speaker 3: you this, you walk lighter when you're willing to receive

948
00:56:09,560 --> 00:56:12,480
Speaker 3: it when you're willing to process your grief, when you're

949
00:56:12,520 --> 00:56:15,680
Speaker 3: willing to process the things that are bothering you, when

950
00:56:15,719 --> 00:56:18,480
Speaker 3: you're willing to give stage and give space to those things,

951
00:56:19,080 --> 00:56:23,200
Speaker 3: you travel lighter. That's what freedom is truly about. From

952
00:56:23,239 --> 00:56:27,960
Speaker 3: my perspective. You know that a mental and emotional freedom

953
00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:33,280
Speaker 3: comes when you cleanse those emotions. You cleanse those things

954
00:56:33,280 --> 00:56:35,800
Speaker 3: out the same way that you would take a broom

955
00:56:35,840 --> 00:56:38,200
Speaker 3: and sweep your bathroom floor, Like you've got to keep

956
00:56:38,239 --> 00:56:42,000
Speaker 3: things clean, and we clean all the external things, you know,

957
00:56:42,040 --> 00:56:51,000
Speaker 3: we brush our teeth every morning, we take a shower hopefully, right,

958
00:56:47,960 --> 00:56:56,319
Speaker 3: but but but we need to spend more time and

959
00:56:56,480 --> 00:57:02,640
Speaker 3: energy on cleansing the parts of us that people don't see. Yeah, yeah, right,

960
00:57:02,719 --> 00:57:05,800
Speaker 3: because we're feeling it. We're feeling it and it's bogging

961
00:57:05,880 --> 00:57:10,799
Speaker 3: us down, and you are showing up with all of that.

962
00:57:10,960 --> 00:57:14,520
Speaker 3: So other people are experiencing it, the bad breadth of

963
00:57:14,560 --> 00:57:19,919
Speaker 3: your bad emotions, even if they they're experiencing it because

964
00:57:19,960 --> 00:57:22,960
Speaker 3: we're not cleansing ourselves of it. Yeah.

965
00:57:23,120 --> 00:57:25,320
Speaker 2: You know, I feel like you are a very spiritual

966
00:57:25,360 --> 00:57:28,720
Speaker 2: person throughout this entire process, because now we're going to

967
00:57:28,800 --> 00:57:31,280
Speaker 2: touch on you and your sister managing the estate. Did

968
00:57:31,320 --> 00:57:33,760
Speaker 2: you ever feel John Michelle's energy or spirit or did

969
00:57:33,760 --> 00:57:35,800
Speaker 2: you ever feel your parents' spirit around you?

970
00:57:36,600 --> 00:57:41,120
Speaker 3: Yes? Yeah, absolutely absolutely, I can call upon that.

971
00:57:41,880 --> 00:57:43,680
Speaker 4: Yeah.

972
00:57:43,720 --> 00:57:45,520
Speaker 2: So what were some of the early lessons you learned

973
00:57:45,520 --> 00:57:47,600
Speaker 2: when you began managing the estate and was it hard

974
00:57:47,600 --> 00:57:50,440
Speaker 2: for you to step out from your private life.

975
00:57:52,560 --> 00:57:54,960
Speaker 3: Challenge? Yeah, it was. I don't know if I'm in

976
00:57:54,960 --> 00:57:59,920
Speaker 3: the spotlight, but it was challenging. It was challenging at first.

977
00:58:00,880 --> 00:58:03,800
Speaker 3: It was challenging at first. I think that the heart,

978
00:58:03,920 --> 00:58:10,680
Speaker 3: the the my father did a really good job of

979
00:58:10,720 --> 00:58:15,760
Speaker 3: protecting us and allowing us to create the lives that

980
00:58:15,800 --> 00:58:18,320
Speaker 3: we want to live. I went and I you know,

981
00:58:18,440 --> 00:58:21,840
Speaker 3: I started in corporate, which is I worked in corporate

982
00:58:21,880 --> 00:58:25,760
Speaker 3: for a long time, and I was in executive leadership,

983
00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:31,640
Speaker 3: and I had the ability to go out and you know,

984
00:58:31,960 --> 00:58:35,720
Speaker 3: build my own career. I became a coach after my

985
00:58:35,800 --> 00:58:38,720
Speaker 3: corporate life or in parallel my corporate life in the beginning,

986
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:41,440
Speaker 3: and I was able to build a career, build a life,

987
00:58:41,960 --> 00:58:47,120
Speaker 3: prove myself to me and I'm very grateful to have

988
00:58:47,200 --> 00:58:52,120
Speaker 3: had that opportunity. I wasn't focused on my brothers, you know,

989
00:58:52,200 --> 00:58:53,960
Speaker 3: I was focused on my brother as a part of

990
00:58:53,960 --> 00:58:58,240
Speaker 3: my family. But it wasn't like Ama b askiaf Je

991
00:58:58,360 --> 00:59:01,000
Speaker 3: Michelle's sister, because I've always been a bust gap like. It

992
00:59:01,080 --> 00:59:06,560
Speaker 3: wasn't that and stepping into the role that my sister

993
00:59:06,600 --> 00:59:09,840
Speaker 3: and I stepped into when my father passed away was

994
00:59:10,680 --> 00:59:13,120
Speaker 3: it was challenging, It was big, It was it was

995
00:59:13,560 --> 00:59:18,800
Speaker 3: there was a lot that I did not know and

996
00:59:18,960 --> 00:59:22,280
Speaker 3: was not prepared for. But what I did realize is

997
00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:26,680
Speaker 3: that my father, who talked a lot and shared a lot,

998
00:59:26,920 --> 00:59:30,160
Speaker 3: he never sat down, which is what I wanted, right.

999
00:59:30,320 --> 00:59:32,800
Speaker 3: This kind of goes back to the conversation we had before.

1000
00:59:33,720 --> 00:59:36,240
Speaker 3: In my mind, I wanted my father to sit me

1001
00:59:36,360 --> 00:59:41,240
Speaker 3: down like Laurence Fishburne and boys in the hood and

1002
00:59:41,320 --> 00:59:45,479
Speaker 3: be like, daughter, let me tell you about life that

1003
00:59:45,760 --> 00:59:49,400
Speaker 3: did not happen, because you're thinking, know, right, that did

1004
00:59:49,440 --> 00:59:52,960
Speaker 3: not happen. But what I realized when I gave up

1005
00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:56,440
Speaker 3: on that, right when I stopped playing that narrative like

1006
00:59:56,680 --> 00:59:59,200
Speaker 3: I wish he would have and why didn't he? And

1007
00:59:59,240 --> 01:00:02,120
Speaker 3: when I gave up that was just like, Okay, let

1008
01:00:02,120 --> 01:00:04,760
Speaker 3: me just look at life for what it is. Let

1009
01:00:04,800 --> 01:00:08,880
Speaker 3: me look at the situation for what it was. I

1010
01:00:09,000 --> 01:00:13,600
Speaker 3: started to realize that he had. But it was a

1011
01:00:13,640 --> 01:00:19,400
Speaker 3: conversation over dinner, a remark that he made, something he

1012
01:00:19,560 --> 01:00:23,360
Speaker 3: said about a person, something he shared with me about,

1013
01:00:23,560 --> 01:00:27,840
Speaker 3: you know, someone who had reached out to him, and

1014
01:00:27,880 --> 01:00:30,560
Speaker 3: so I realized that I really had everything that I needed.

1015
01:00:32,960 --> 01:00:37,160
Speaker 3: But it was challenging because managing the estate of chem

1016
01:00:37,160 --> 01:00:43,160
Speaker 3: Mischel Basquia means protecting his legacy as an artist, and

1017
01:00:43,240 --> 01:00:47,200
Speaker 3: it also means that it has put me and my

1018
01:00:47,320 --> 01:00:53,200
Speaker 3: sister and our family into this kind of place where

1019
01:00:53,240 --> 01:00:58,280
Speaker 3: people believe that they have the right to give big, huge,

1020
01:00:58,760 --> 01:01:04,520
Speaker 3: sweeping opinions about what you're doing with this treasure, this

1021
01:01:04,680 --> 01:01:08,680
Speaker 3: you know, cultural treasure that is Yea Michelle. I learned

1022
01:01:08,720 --> 01:01:12,800
Speaker 3: a lot. I learned a lot about myself. A couple

1023
01:01:12,800 --> 01:01:18,240
Speaker 3: of things. One is to always remember that this is

1024
01:01:18,600 --> 01:01:21,720
Speaker 3: about Jea Michelle. This is for Michelle, and talking specifically

1025
01:01:21,760 --> 01:01:24,800
Speaker 3: about managing his estate, it's about Jea Michelle. It's for

1026
01:01:25,000 --> 01:01:27,840
Speaker 3: che Michelle. And one of the things that Jannine and

1027
01:01:27,880 --> 01:01:30,440
Speaker 3: I try to do is to do what we believe

1028
01:01:30,480 --> 01:01:33,960
Speaker 3: che Michelle would want us to do. That has kept

1029
01:01:34,040 --> 01:01:38,200
Speaker 3: us really in a place where we feel congruent with

1030
01:01:38,240 --> 01:01:44,560
Speaker 3: our decisions and in integrity with our brother's legacy. I

1031
01:01:44,600 --> 01:01:51,360
Speaker 3: also learned the importance of building my own life and

1032
01:01:51,400 --> 01:01:56,760
Speaker 3: not getting lost in che Michelle's legacy. So there's she

1033
01:01:56,880 --> 01:02:00,600
Speaker 3: Michelle's legacy. It has to be. There's che michelle legacy,

1034
01:02:00,640 --> 01:02:04,480
Speaker 3: and there's the work that we're doing on his behalf,

1035
01:02:05,360 --> 01:02:10,000
Speaker 3: and then there's Lisan And it was very important to

1036
01:02:10,040 --> 01:02:13,480
Speaker 3: me that I still did the things that were important

1037
01:02:13,520 --> 01:02:16,160
Speaker 3: to me, and that I still lived up to and

1038
01:02:16,840 --> 01:02:19,920
Speaker 3: work and hone my assignment on this planet.

1039
01:02:20,520 --> 01:02:23,200
Speaker 2: And that's why I respect your story so much, because

1040
01:02:23,360 --> 01:02:26,400
Speaker 2: I feel like to be able to do what you

1041
01:02:26,480 --> 01:02:31,080
Speaker 2: do on top of managing this enormous legacy, Like that's

1042
01:02:31,120 --> 01:02:33,959
Speaker 2: a lot, and then you have these businesses and then you're.

1043
01:02:33,840 --> 01:02:34,920
Speaker 5: Telling me you a grandma.

1044
01:02:35,680 --> 01:02:39,240
Speaker 2: It's just like, how are you navigating all this stuff?

1045
01:02:39,280 --> 01:02:44,200
Speaker 2: You got your own day? Like it's like who are you?

1046
01:02:44,320 --> 01:02:46,880
Speaker 5: Are you super one?

1047
01:02:47,600 --> 01:02:52,880
Speaker 3: No? No, I there's a through line m h. Right.

1048
01:02:52,960 --> 01:02:55,600
Speaker 3: And so in the beginning, I did feel very scattered.

1049
01:02:55,640 --> 01:02:57,640
Speaker 3: I don't want to pretend. I think sometimes we want

1050
01:02:57,680 --> 01:03:00,640
Speaker 3: people to show up on the other side of the

1051
01:03:00,680 --> 01:03:03,920
Speaker 3: journey and we look at that as like, Okay, she

1052
01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:09,240
Speaker 3: did it super simple. It's not it wasn't It wasn't easy.

1053
01:03:09,280 --> 01:03:11,440
Speaker 3: It was simple, but it wasn't easy. And in the

1054
01:03:11,480 --> 01:03:14,840
Speaker 3: beginning I realized I have herout Carlsbad, which is a

1055
01:03:14,840 --> 01:03:21,200
Speaker 3: female focused, very inclusive and welcoming business accelerator and co

1056
01:03:21,240 --> 01:03:24,840
Speaker 3: working space and member community for entrepreneurs helping people grow

1057
01:03:24,880 --> 01:03:28,200
Speaker 3: and scale their business. They're Shaping Freedom, which is a

1058
01:03:28,240 --> 01:03:30,520
Speaker 3: personal growth company. I have products and all of that.

1059
01:03:30,840 --> 01:03:34,720
Speaker 3: There's my brother's estate, and then there was the production

1060
01:03:34,800 --> 01:03:38,280
Speaker 3: that Jenny and I pulled together for in support of

1061
01:03:38,320 --> 01:03:41,480
Speaker 3: Jean Michelle. The through line of all of that is

1062
01:03:41,560 --> 01:03:45,960
Speaker 3: family legacy. You know, Shaping Freedom is about the work

1063
01:03:45,960 --> 01:03:50,240
Speaker 3: that you do within yourself to heal yourself up, to

1064
01:03:50,360 --> 01:03:53,760
Speaker 3: resolve and bring to completion those things that stand in

1065
01:03:53,800 --> 01:03:56,800
Speaker 3: your way so that you can show up in a

1066
01:03:56,840 --> 01:04:00,640
Speaker 3: more positive way and contribute to your family legacy. A

1067
01:04:00,680 --> 01:04:03,560
Speaker 3: lot of the reasons why people don't move forward, or

1068
01:04:03,600 --> 01:04:06,680
Speaker 3: the reasons why our families and by our I mean

1069
01:04:06,760 --> 01:04:10,120
Speaker 3: anyone's family don't move forward, has a lot has more

1070
01:04:10,160 --> 01:04:15,440
Speaker 3: to do with emotional and mental stuff, burnout, not setting boundaries,

1071
01:04:15,720 --> 01:04:19,600
Speaker 3: not being able to clearly communicate, not being able to

1072
01:04:19,680 --> 01:04:23,360
Speaker 3: express the ways that we truly truly feel because we

1073
01:04:24,680 --> 01:04:26,960
Speaker 3: are put into these environments where we can't tell the

1074
01:04:27,000 --> 01:04:31,200
Speaker 3: truth or where we allow ourselves to not tell the truth.

1075
01:04:32,840 --> 01:04:37,160
Speaker 3: That shaping freedom Harrah hub Carlsbad is about the legacy

1076
01:04:37,240 --> 01:04:40,600
Speaker 3: of being able to live your dreams and having community

1077
01:04:40,640 --> 01:04:45,640
Speaker 3: and support to help you to live your dream and

1078
01:04:45,760 --> 01:04:51,880
Speaker 3: curate your professional and entrepreneurial dream. And then there's the

1079
01:04:51,920 --> 01:04:54,280
Speaker 3: work that you already know about with my brother's estate.

1080
01:04:54,880 --> 01:04:59,360
Speaker 3: So that is the that's how I'm able to do

1081
01:04:59,640 --> 01:05:01,720
Speaker 3: the number were of things that I do because it's

1082
01:05:01,800 --> 01:05:07,600
Speaker 3: not this kind of disjointed thing. It is all about

1083
01:05:07,640 --> 01:05:09,720
Speaker 3: the reason that I was put on this planet, and

1084
01:05:09,800 --> 01:05:13,920
Speaker 3: I truly believe that my assignment is to help human

1085
01:05:13,960 --> 01:05:17,160
Speaker 3: beings to be in a better relationship with themselves so

1086
01:05:17,200 --> 01:05:20,120
Speaker 3: that they can help their families. And we talk a

1087
01:05:20,120 --> 01:05:24,120
Speaker 3: lot about generational wealth, but you can have all of

1088
01:05:24,160 --> 01:05:28,560
Speaker 3: the financial wealth in the world if you do not

1089
01:05:28,840 --> 01:05:31,600
Speaker 3: have within your family unit, even if your family is

1090
01:05:31,680 --> 01:05:38,880
Speaker 3: just you, if you do not have emotional and mental strength, resilience,

1091
01:05:39,440 --> 01:05:42,640
Speaker 3: and wealth, none of that matters because you're not going

1092
01:05:42,680 --> 01:05:43,640
Speaker 3: to be able to enjoy it.

1093
01:05:44,640 --> 01:05:46,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was a bar.

1094
01:05:47,360 --> 01:05:48,320
Speaker 5: That was a bar.

1095
01:05:58,200 --> 01:06:01,000
Speaker 2: So what has entrepreneurship taught you about trusting your own

1096
01:06:01,080 --> 01:06:03,680
Speaker 2: voice everything.

1097
01:06:06,840 --> 01:06:09,640
Speaker 3: Everything. Everyone has an opinion about things and there's nothing

1098
01:06:09,640 --> 01:06:12,320
Speaker 3: wrong with it. There are a lot of experts out there.

1099
01:06:12,320 --> 01:06:14,200
Speaker 3: There are a lot of folks who know what they're doing.

1100
01:06:14,720 --> 01:06:16,960
Speaker 3: You can't do it all by yourself. You have to

1101
01:06:17,040 --> 01:06:19,800
Speaker 3: have a team. You have to have a team of

1102
01:06:19,840 --> 01:06:26,360
Speaker 3: people that you trust, who believe in the product, the person,

1103
01:06:26,480 --> 01:06:29,680
Speaker 3: whatever the thing that you're building that team around. If

1104
01:06:29,720 --> 01:06:32,560
Speaker 3: you have people around you that don't believe in you,

1105
01:06:32,560 --> 01:06:34,880
Speaker 3: they have to leave. They cannot be there. It doesn't

1106
01:06:34,880 --> 01:06:37,360
Speaker 3: mean they're horrible people. You can do it with kindness.

1107
01:06:37,600 --> 01:06:42,600
Speaker 3: But the boundary is you have to have support. You

1108
01:06:42,640 --> 01:06:44,680
Speaker 3: have to have a support system, and you have to

1109
01:06:44,760 --> 01:06:47,720
Speaker 3: have a team of people around you. Some are friends,

1110
01:06:47,760 --> 01:06:50,160
Speaker 3: some are families, some are you know, people who are

1111
01:06:50,200 --> 01:06:53,400
Speaker 3: working with you. Have that team of people around you,

1112
01:06:53,680 --> 01:06:58,200
Speaker 3: but at the end of the day, you own that situation.

1113
01:06:58,880 --> 01:07:01,760
Speaker 3: So while you have a name of experts, you have

1114
01:07:01,840 --> 01:07:06,160
Speaker 3: to trust yourself enough to be able to state what

1115
01:07:06,200 --> 01:07:08,440
Speaker 3: you want and what you need because at the end

1116
01:07:08,480 --> 01:07:10,320
Speaker 3: of the day, it all comes down to you.

1117
01:07:10,400 --> 01:07:13,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what do you think your parents and

1118
01:07:13,680 --> 01:07:15,640
Speaker 2: John Michelle was said about how you and your sister

1119
01:07:15,760 --> 01:07:17,400
Speaker 2: is carrying the family name.

1120
01:07:18,080 --> 01:07:19,760
Speaker 3: Oh. I think they would be thrilled.

1121
01:07:20,040 --> 01:07:23,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, because you'll not playing well.

1122
01:07:23,760 --> 01:07:26,240
Speaker 3: I mean, you know, I will share this.

1123
01:07:26,560 --> 01:07:26,680
Speaker 4: Uh.

1124
01:07:26,760 --> 01:07:29,760
Speaker 3: And I don't talk about this very much, but my brother,

1125
01:07:31,440 --> 01:07:37,200
Speaker 3: you are, they are. I'm enjoying this conversation with you.

1126
01:07:37,280 --> 01:07:40,720
Speaker 3: Jem Michelle was the last male Bosqual and he didn't

1127
01:07:40,720 --> 01:07:45,200
Speaker 3: have children, so his name, I mean, I'm a bosquea too,

1128
01:07:45,760 --> 01:07:50,000
Speaker 3: but he his name was the last in the lineage,

1129
01:07:50,880 --> 01:07:57,960
Speaker 3: in our lineage. M yeah, wow, he feels I know.

1130
01:07:58,000 --> 01:08:05,120
Speaker 3: He took the bosqueals out with a bang. It come on,

1131
01:08:06,640 --> 01:08:10,280
Speaker 3: we're going to do this. Well. Yeah, I think they'd

1132
01:08:10,320 --> 01:08:12,680
Speaker 3: be proud. I think they'd all be very happy and proud.

1133
01:08:12,720 --> 01:08:14,920
Speaker 3: I think that the other part of it, and I

1134
01:08:15,320 --> 01:08:18,599
Speaker 3: would be remiss if I didn't say also that you

1135
01:08:18,680 --> 01:08:21,559
Speaker 3: cannot when you want to be up to big things,

1136
01:08:21,840 --> 01:08:24,840
Speaker 3: when you want to do huge things, and when you

1137
01:08:24,880 --> 01:08:31,080
Speaker 3: want to make huge impact, the need it is critical

1138
01:08:31,400 --> 01:08:34,519
Speaker 3: that you also have self care, that you take care

1139
01:08:34,520 --> 01:08:37,719
Speaker 3: of yourself, and that you balance things out. So I go,

1140
01:08:38,400 --> 01:08:42,320
Speaker 3: I go, I go hard, and most of the time

1141
01:08:42,400 --> 01:08:44,800
Speaker 3: I don't always do it, but most of the time

1142
01:08:45,400 --> 01:08:49,080
Speaker 3: I make sure that I have that the pendulum is

1143
01:08:49,120 --> 01:08:52,400
Speaker 3: swinging both ways to keep my life in harmony. So

1144
01:08:52,439 --> 01:08:55,320
Speaker 3: if I need, if I need a minute, I take

1145
01:08:55,360 --> 01:08:57,880
Speaker 3: a minute. If people are because there's a party every day,

1146
01:08:58,080 --> 01:09:01,000
Speaker 3: if someone's reaching out and I'll have friends who were like, girl,

1147
01:09:01,040 --> 01:09:03,800
Speaker 3: come out, let's party, I'm like, no, I need a minute,

1148
01:09:04,120 --> 01:09:06,160
Speaker 3: and I take that minute. So I think you have

1149
01:09:06,240 --> 01:09:10,479
Speaker 3: to listen to yourself and use your self as the

1150
01:09:10,520 --> 01:09:14,840
Speaker 3: barometer for how you're going to show up in the world.

1151
01:09:14,920 --> 01:09:18,400
Speaker 3: And also staying focused. If you want something done, it's

1152
01:09:18,520 --> 01:09:21,479
Speaker 3: not an Instagram selfie. I'm so sorry to say it.

1153
01:09:22,240 --> 01:09:26,080
Speaker 3: That's not it. It's hard work. It's learning work. Yeah,

1154
01:09:26,240 --> 01:09:28,200
Speaker 3: it's hard work, and you got to stay at it,

1155
01:09:28,280 --> 01:09:32,080
Speaker 3: and you have to be focused. You have to be focused.

1156
01:09:32,400 --> 01:09:34,880
Speaker 2: That's a fact. We're almost finished. But I just want

1157
01:09:34,880 --> 01:09:36,280
Speaker 2: to touch on the hard work because I think a

1158
01:09:36,280 --> 01:09:38,840
Speaker 2: lot of times when people see you know yourself, or

1159
01:09:38,880 --> 01:09:40,879
Speaker 2: even with me, when I when I join my network,

1160
01:09:40,960 --> 01:09:43,839
Speaker 2: like it was it's blood, sweat and a lot of tears,

1161
01:09:44,240 --> 01:09:45,599
Speaker 2: a lot of glasses of wine.

1162
01:09:46,200 --> 01:09:47,360
Speaker 3: That's right, like.

1163
01:09:48,920 --> 01:09:52,080
Speaker 5: To live out that only you can see.

1164
01:09:52,520 --> 01:09:54,920
Speaker 3: That's right, and other people don't always. That's why you

1165
01:09:55,000 --> 01:09:57,519
Speaker 3: have to have only people. Let me tell you something.

1166
01:09:57,560 --> 01:10:01,760
Speaker 3: The people in my world, my friends, my family members,

1167
01:10:02,320 --> 01:10:06,400
Speaker 3: definitely my kids. They are like my biggest cheerleaders, my team.

1168
01:10:07,160 --> 01:10:11,640
Speaker 3: We all care about each other. Our hearts are in

1169
01:10:11,720 --> 01:10:17,439
Speaker 3: it right. And what people see is eban a with

1170
01:10:17,560 --> 01:10:21,600
Speaker 3: a mic. They don't see everything it took for you

1171
01:10:21,680 --> 01:10:24,559
Speaker 3: to get to the space that you're in, all the

1172
01:10:24,600 --> 01:10:27,000
Speaker 3: moments where maybe you wanted to go and party and

1173
01:10:27,320 --> 01:10:31,479
Speaker 3: do whatever or quit or quit or just be like,

1174
01:10:31,520 --> 01:10:33,240
Speaker 3: you know what later for all of y'all and all

1175
01:10:33,280 --> 01:10:34,840
Speaker 3: of this, I'm gonna go and we're at a bank

1176
01:10:34,960 --> 01:10:37,479
Speaker 3: or whatever. The thing is, right, people don't see that,

1177
01:10:37,680 --> 01:10:40,280
Speaker 3: not that they necessarily have to see it, but I

1178
01:10:40,320 --> 01:10:44,680
Speaker 3: think that. But it's important to understand that there is

1179
01:10:44,920 --> 01:10:48,160
Speaker 3: a journey and if you are going to be we

1180
01:10:48,240 --> 01:10:50,960
Speaker 3: have to set ourselves up for success. And people don't

1181
01:10:50,960 --> 01:10:53,720
Speaker 3: see the things that we're doing behind the scenes to

1182
01:10:53,840 --> 01:10:57,439
Speaker 3: make sure that we can show up in these ways

1183
01:10:57,760 --> 01:11:02,080
Speaker 3: that you're showing up. So it's hard work. Yeah, it's

1184
01:11:02,120 --> 01:11:02,639
Speaker 3: hard work.

1185
01:11:02,960 --> 01:11:05,280
Speaker 2: It really is, because I'd be feeling like a two

1186
01:11:05,320 --> 01:11:08,360
Speaker 2: dollars street walker at times.

1187
01:11:09,960 --> 01:11:14,000
Speaker 3: Listen, I feel plucked. I cannot tell you I can

1188
01:11:14,640 --> 01:11:19,120
Speaker 3: and I'm like what right, I never have to stop

1189
01:11:19,160 --> 01:11:22,960
Speaker 3: and I'm like, Okay, this is my dream, right, I

1190
01:11:23,080 --> 01:11:25,760
Speaker 3: want this, Like this is nobody coming for me. I

1191
01:11:25,800 --> 01:11:29,120
Speaker 3: have not ad this is what you want? This is yeah,

1192
01:11:29,200 --> 01:11:32,000
Speaker 3: Like I forget that it's like me right, Like it's

1193
01:11:32,040 --> 01:11:35,639
Speaker 3: not it's me. And I'm very blessed and feel great

1194
01:11:35,680 --> 01:11:39,720
Speaker 3: that i have the ability to to say that it's me, right,

1195
01:11:39,800 --> 01:11:41,800
Speaker 3: Like this is the life that I've wanted to live

1196
01:11:41,920 --> 01:11:45,480
Speaker 3: in terms of doing this work and being an entrepreneur

1197
01:11:45,520 --> 01:11:49,439
Speaker 3: and all of that. And uh, for me, it's been

1198
01:11:49,960 --> 01:11:53,760
Speaker 3: finding amazing people that understand that I don't have to

1199
01:11:54,439 --> 01:11:58,280
Speaker 3: defend myself to I don't have to have those conversations yeah,

1200
01:11:58,280 --> 01:12:01,240
Speaker 3: where people are just like you're fine, look at you,

1201
01:12:01,240 --> 01:12:04,280
Speaker 3: you know. I remember once I post I was on vacation.

1202
01:12:04,360 --> 01:12:06,400
Speaker 3: I was in Costa Rica with a friend of mine, Nicole,

1203
01:12:06,960 --> 01:12:08,519
Speaker 3: and we had gone to Costa Rica and it was

1204
01:12:08,600 --> 01:12:11,599
Speaker 3: during a week where it rained all week long and

1205
01:12:11,960 --> 01:12:14,360
Speaker 3: we were making we were having fun anyway, So we

1206
01:12:14,439 --> 01:12:16,040
Speaker 3: had like wine and we were like dancing in the

1207
01:12:16,120 --> 01:12:17,920
Speaker 3: rain and I was like doing some dances or whatever

1208
01:12:18,439 --> 01:12:21,960
Speaker 3: we put it online. I was turking or something right

1209
01:12:22,880 --> 01:12:31,360
Speaker 3: whatever it was. Technically I was moving and somebody and

1210
01:12:31,400 --> 01:12:33,759
Speaker 3: people were like girl almost like so much fun or whatever.

1211
01:12:33,960 --> 01:12:38,080
Speaker 3: And then someone said, must be nice, and I had

1212
01:12:38,120 --> 01:12:42,519
Speaker 3: a moment, must be nice. Most of us can't afford

1213
01:12:42,560 --> 01:12:45,160
Speaker 3: to something like that. And I had a moment like

1214
01:12:45,560 --> 01:12:52,920
Speaker 3: it was it was like thirty seconds and I was like, wow, Wow,

1215
01:12:53,640 --> 01:12:59,360
Speaker 3: what is Why can't you don't know anything about this trip,

1216
01:12:59,479 --> 01:13:02,240
Speaker 3: how I god on it, how much it costs. It's

1217
01:13:02,320 --> 01:13:05,840
Speaker 3: just nice, Like what is that? Like what does that mean?

1218
01:13:06,080 --> 01:13:09,840
Speaker 3: You know? And so I think that it's important, and

1219
01:13:09,880 --> 01:13:13,120
Speaker 3: that again was a random kind of thing online, but

1220
01:13:13,240 --> 01:13:15,680
Speaker 3: I think it's important to for me, it has been

1221
01:13:15,800 --> 01:13:19,800
Speaker 3: very important to surround myself with people who see me,

1222
01:13:21,600 --> 01:13:24,840
Speaker 3: people who see me the human being that I am,

1223
01:13:25,439 --> 01:13:33,160
Speaker 3: a mother, a leader, a friend, a grandparent, and what

1224
01:13:33,240 --> 01:13:36,479
Speaker 3: you do see me, not what I do, not what

1225
01:13:36,520 --> 01:13:40,120
Speaker 3: they believe they think my life is about. You know,

1226
01:13:40,200 --> 01:13:42,519
Speaker 3: I'm sitting here in my office on angle because I

1227
01:13:42,560 --> 01:13:48,599
Speaker 3: got these two things because I couldn't drag him out

1228
01:13:48,880 --> 01:13:50,479
Speaker 3: and I didn't think that you were even going to

1229
01:13:50,560 --> 01:13:52,240
Speaker 3: see it. So now it's a bit of a mess,

1230
01:13:52,280 --> 01:13:57,160
Speaker 3: but that's okay. And so those it's a bit mess.

1231
01:13:57,640 --> 01:14:00,200
Speaker 3: Well you know this is in videos. I forgot that

1232
01:14:00,240 --> 01:14:02,160
Speaker 3: it wasn't video until later on. But I will say this,

1233
01:14:02,240 --> 01:14:04,360
Speaker 3: the two works that I have behind me. One is

1234
01:14:04,400 --> 01:14:10,400
Speaker 3: by Ainsley Burrow, an amazing artist, amazing Ainslee Burrows, and

1235
01:14:10,439 --> 01:14:14,240
Speaker 3: the other one is Ronnie rob who is in That

1236
01:14:14,360 --> 01:14:19,519
Speaker 3: couch is beautiful. I know. I love that cat, love it.

1237
01:14:20,439 --> 01:14:23,080
Speaker 5: No, that couch is That's what I've been looking at.

1238
01:14:23,160 --> 01:14:24,080
Speaker 5: I'm like, what is that?

1239
01:14:25,040 --> 01:14:27,599
Speaker 3: I'll tell you offline because I don't want I don't

1240
01:14:27,640 --> 01:14:29,080
Speaker 3: know hate it is coming out, But it's a it's

1241
01:14:29,120 --> 01:14:32,559
Speaker 3: a It's the most comfortable in the middle of the

1242
01:14:32,640 --> 01:14:34,880
Speaker 3: day when I'm just trying to get my thoughts together,

1243
01:14:35,320 --> 01:14:38,040
Speaker 3: or where I'm like, who who can I talk to?

1244
01:14:38,280 --> 01:14:40,800
Speaker 3: I just you know, who do I know? Or who

1245
01:14:40,800 --> 01:14:43,400
Speaker 3: do I know who might know someone who can help

1246
01:14:43,439 --> 01:14:48,000
Speaker 3: me to solve this business problem? You know that's laying

1247
01:14:48,040 --> 01:14:49,000
Speaker 3: on that couch right there.

1248
01:14:49,439 --> 01:14:52,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, I can tell And a twenty.

1249
01:14:51,800 --> 01:14:53,759
Speaker 3: Minute nap in the middle of the day doesn't wind

1250
01:14:54,320 --> 01:14:54,880
Speaker 3: right right.

1251
01:14:56,400 --> 01:14:59,280
Speaker 2: You know, throughout your journey managing the estate, you building

1252
01:14:59,360 --> 01:15:04,880
Speaker 2: these business, you preserving your legacy, you doing so much.

1253
01:15:04,960 --> 01:15:07,800
Speaker 2: What is the one thing that you learned about yourself

1254
01:15:07,880 --> 01:15:08,840
Speaker 2: that has surprised you?

1255
01:15:11,160 --> 01:15:14,880
Speaker 3: Okay, what I've learned about myself that has surprised me

1256
01:15:15,240 --> 01:15:19,080
Speaker 3: is that I've done a lot of work. I've done

1257
01:15:19,080 --> 01:15:23,560
Speaker 3: a lot of internal work. And the thing about doing

1258
01:15:23,760 --> 01:15:28,599
Speaker 3: your internal work is that you the more work you do,

1259
01:15:29,280 --> 01:15:35,240
Speaker 3: the less tolerant you can be about your own nonsense

1260
01:15:35,439 --> 01:15:40,920
Speaker 3: or bs. And so I what that has done for

1261
01:15:41,040 --> 01:15:45,719
Speaker 3: me is I've become and am very selective about my time,

1262
01:15:46,040 --> 01:15:48,759
Speaker 3: about my energy, about who I'm going to be around.

1263
01:15:49,800 --> 01:15:55,360
Speaker 3: I'm single, about who I'm going to do. I'm inside,

1264
01:15:55,800 --> 01:15:59,280
Speaker 3: I'm outside. Kind of that a gonna make me blushed.

1265
01:16:00,000 --> 01:16:02,880
Speaker 3: That's funny about the bout of russion. So what I

1266
01:16:02,880 --> 01:16:06,400
Speaker 3: have learned is what I has surprised me in a

1267
01:16:06,479 --> 01:16:12,120
Speaker 3: nice way, in a great way, is my how congruent

1268
01:16:12,200 --> 01:16:18,280
Speaker 3: I am and how how in integrity with myself I am.

1269
01:16:18,880 --> 01:16:22,360
Speaker 3: And so what that means is I may not, you know,

1270
01:16:22,600 --> 01:16:25,920
Speaker 3: I may not. I'm very careful and selective about what

1271
01:16:25,960 --> 01:16:27,880
Speaker 3: I do, where I put my time and my energy,

1272
01:16:28,200 --> 01:16:31,120
Speaker 3: including the amount of time that I'm going to be

1273
01:16:31,840 --> 01:16:35,120
Speaker 3: you know, out in the streets. Right, I'm not wasting

1274
01:16:35,240 --> 01:16:40,479
Speaker 3: a lot of time because I have because I'm up

1275
01:16:40,479 --> 01:16:44,040
Speaker 3: to something. And so if people are in my world,

1276
01:16:45,000 --> 01:16:50,320
Speaker 3: it's because we trust each other. Yah, and you know,

1277
01:16:50,520 --> 01:16:54,360
Speaker 3: and we don't have to perform, you know, my friends circle.

1278
01:16:54,920 --> 01:16:58,040
Speaker 3: You know, there's no performance. It's just showing up and

1279
01:16:58,080 --> 01:17:00,839
Speaker 3: being who we are. And I think that that surprised

1280
01:17:00,840 --> 01:17:04,760
Speaker 3: me is that I can be as clear about my

1281
01:17:04,840 --> 01:17:06,240
Speaker 3: boundaries as I am.

1282
01:17:06,680 --> 01:17:07,240
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1283
01:17:08,080 --> 01:17:10,160
Speaker 2: Okay, So we have a few listeners questions because I

1284
01:17:10,200 --> 01:17:12,400
Speaker 2: was just bragging because I'm like, listen, I have a

1285
01:17:12,479 --> 01:17:13,639
Speaker 2: legacy on my show.

1286
01:17:13,640 --> 01:17:16,240
Speaker 3: Okay, but you got questions.

1287
01:17:16,479 --> 01:17:19,559
Speaker 2: Oh yes, so Keen from Brooklyn. It's curious to know

1288
01:17:19,680 --> 01:17:22,360
Speaker 2: how you feel and how would John Michelle feel about

1289
01:17:22,360 --> 01:17:27,360
Speaker 2: his work becoming so commercialized? His work always evolved involved

1290
01:17:27,360 --> 01:17:30,200
Speaker 2: black social commentary at the route, and now Sheen has

1291
01:17:30,240 --> 01:17:32,760
Speaker 2: his work on a twelve dollar hoodie. I say, girl,

1292
01:17:32,800 --> 01:17:34,200
Speaker 2: do not get me cursed out on my show.

1293
01:17:36,160 --> 01:17:38,519
Speaker 3: But what are you who, I'm sorry, who has their

1294
01:17:38,600 --> 01:17:42,439
Speaker 3: work on a twelve hour hoody? John Michelle? Oh?

1295
01:17:43,080 --> 01:17:43,599
Speaker 4: On Sheen?

1296
01:17:43,720 --> 01:17:46,160
Speaker 2: Sheen is using Oh she is using his work on

1297
01:17:46,200 --> 01:17:47,160
Speaker 2: a twelve dollar hoodie?

1298
01:17:48,439 --> 01:17:49,280
Speaker 5: Or you didn't know about that.

1299
01:17:50,880 --> 01:17:54,439
Speaker 3: I'll ask you about that later. But so here's what

1300
01:17:54,479 --> 01:18:00,000
Speaker 3: I here's what I think about the to answer that question.

1301
01:18:00,000 --> 01:18:02,160
Speaker 3: And I've had that question asked my sister has it,

1302
01:18:02,280 --> 01:18:04,640
Speaker 3: asked the Lottel So, and this is what I'm going

1303
01:18:04,720 --> 01:18:10,639
Speaker 3: to say. A state of Cheam Michelle Bosquiare exists to

1304
01:18:10,840 --> 01:18:19,719
Speaker 3: preserve the legacy of Jea Michelle. Okay, And for those

1305
01:18:19,800 --> 01:18:24,120
Speaker 3: folks who are troubled by or who claimed that my

1306
01:18:24,280 --> 01:18:30,400
Speaker 3: brother wasn't that he would be upset at the commercialization

1307
01:18:30,560 --> 01:18:33,760
Speaker 3: of his works, I will say this. Number one, it

1308
01:18:33,800 --> 01:18:37,160
Speaker 3: takes money to run in a state. It takes money,

1309
01:18:37,439 --> 01:18:42,920
Speaker 3: and I think people don't connect those dots. The second

1310
01:18:42,960 --> 01:18:47,479
Speaker 3: thing is that there are so many people who respect

1311
01:18:47,680 --> 01:18:53,960
Speaker 3: chem Michelle, who are inspired by him, who really see

1312
01:18:54,080 --> 01:19:00,519
Speaker 3: him as a cultural role model, who do not have

1313
01:19:00,920 --> 01:19:04,360
Speaker 3: the ability to go out and buy a painting by

1314
01:19:04,479 --> 01:19:08,479
Speaker 3: Jea Michelle Basquillea. So the what's referred to and I'm

1315
01:19:08,479 --> 01:19:11,960
Speaker 3: putting this up in your quotes as the commercialization of

1316
01:19:12,080 --> 01:19:18,840
Speaker 3: Chea Michelle's artwork is actually an opportunity to own an

1317
01:19:18,880 --> 01:19:23,200
Speaker 3: image of Cheam Michelle's, to own his art in a

1318
01:19:23,280 --> 01:19:27,920
Speaker 3: way that is accessible to people who may not otherwise

1319
01:19:28,000 --> 01:19:32,960
Speaker 3: be able to afford it. So for the person, for

1320
01:19:33,080 --> 01:19:37,519
Speaker 3: the person who is able to go and get a

1321
01:19:37,560 --> 01:19:41,120
Speaker 3: T shirt and wear that T shirt and spend whatever

1322
01:19:41,160 --> 01:19:43,720
Speaker 3: they spend on that T shirt. It gives them the

1323
01:19:43,760 --> 01:19:47,839
Speaker 3: ability to have that connection to Jea Michelle. It gives

1324
01:19:47,880 --> 01:19:51,599
Speaker 3: the person who chooses to buy you a coach bag

1325
01:19:51,640 --> 01:19:54,160
Speaker 3: when we were running that one. You know, I know

1326
01:19:54,320 --> 01:19:57,640
Speaker 3: many many people who who have walked up to me

1327
01:19:58,160 --> 01:20:00,960
Speaker 3: and said, look at what I have. I have this bag.

1328
01:20:01,080 --> 01:20:04,439
Speaker 3: I love this purse because it's your brother's part on it.

1329
01:20:05,120 --> 01:20:07,360
Speaker 3: So I don't know about the specifics of what you

1330
01:20:07,560 --> 01:20:22,160
Speaker 3: just said, but yeah, I think I'm okay. He Actually

1331
01:20:22,200 --> 01:20:26,839
Speaker 3: I think that I think that best case scenario, Jamachell

1332
01:20:26,880 --> 01:20:31,160
Speaker 3: would be here himself. But this is where we are.

1333
01:20:32,080 --> 01:20:38,280
Speaker 3: And the ability to license his work means that as

1334
01:20:38,320 --> 01:20:43,640
Speaker 3: a family, we can preserve his artwork and not go

1335
01:20:43,760 --> 01:20:47,400
Speaker 3: into the streets and sell his artwork, and we're able

1336
01:20:47,439 --> 01:20:52,680
Speaker 3: to hold onto it and and and help to leverage

1337
01:20:53,240 --> 01:20:57,439
Speaker 3: his artwork while still retaining it. You look at the

1338
01:20:57,560 --> 01:21:03,040
Speaker 3: long list of stories of people who were in the

1339
01:21:03,080 --> 01:21:07,280
Speaker 3: public eye who pass away and then the next thing

1340
01:21:07,320 --> 01:21:10,680
Speaker 3: you know, the family has no control over what has

1341
01:21:10,760 --> 01:21:15,200
Speaker 3: happened with what that person left behind. This is what

1342
01:21:15,240 --> 01:21:20,439
Speaker 3: we chose to do, and this is what we chose

1343
01:21:20,479 --> 01:21:21,479
Speaker 3: to do. Yeah.

1344
01:21:22,080 --> 01:21:24,439
Speaker 2: Anifa from New York would like to know what would

1345
01:21:24,479 --> 01:21:26,320
Speaker 2: you say to him if he was here today, Like,

1346
01:21:26,360 --> 01:21:28,479
Speaker 2: what's the conversation you would love to have with him

1347
01:21:28,600 --> 01:21:29,120
Speaker 2: right now?

1348
01:21:29,479 --> 01:21:34,679
Speaker 3: Oh, my gosh, don't get me started. What I would say?

1349
01:21:34,720 --> 01:21:36,719
Speaker 3: What we would talk? We would talk about what's happening

1350
01:21:36,840 --> 01:21:39,639
Speaker 3: in the world. Honestly, we would talk about what's happening

1351
01:21:39,640 --> 01:21:46,280
Speaker 3: in the world. We would riff on. We would riff

1352
01:21:46,320 --> 01:21:49,679
Speaker 3: on social media and what you know, some of what's

1353
01:21:49,680 --> 01:21:52,360
Speaker 3: happening there. Although I think Joseph Jemishell is like the

1354
01:21:52,400 --> 01:21:56,080
Speaker 3: first poster ever, he was the person his work is

1355
01:21:56,120 --> 01:21:59,560
Speaker 3: like these social posts, right, I think we would just

1356
01:21:59,600 --> 01:22:02,320
Speaker 3: talk about what's happening in the world and what's happening

1357
01:22:02,320 --> 01:22:05,400
Speaker 3: in each other's lives. We would laugh, We laughed a lot.

1358
01:22:05,640 --> 01:22:08,400
Speaker 3: We would we just hang out, just like anyone else

1359
01:22:08,439 --> 01:22:09,280
Speaker 3: would with their brother.

1360
01:22:09,640 --> 01:22:12,080
Speaker 5: I miss him, Yeah, no, I already know.

1361
01:22:12,120 --> 01:22:15,639
Speaker 2: I cannot retell Azja from Memphis said, what's a funny

1362
01:22:15,680 --> 01:22:18,600
Speaker 2: childhood memory with John Michelle that lives rent free in

1363
01:22:18,640 --> 01:22:19,120
Speaker 2: your mind?

1364
01:22:22,240 --> 01:22:26,000
Speaker 3: My father had a girlfriend that and my brother decided

1365
01:22:26,040 --> 01:22:29,000
Speaker 3: that for Halloween he was going to take a Venttrolocus

1366
01:22:29,040 --> 01:22:31,639
Speaker 3: stummy and put it at the top of the stairs

1367
01:22:31,680 --> 01:22:34,400
Speaker 3: and Jea Michelle didn't just do like a regular old prank.

1368
01:22:34,760 --> 01:22:38,400
Speaker 3: You know, his pranks were elaborate, very dramatic. There were

1369
01:22:38,439 --> 01:22:44,479
Speaker 3: there were productions and he he took this Controlau's dummy.

1370
01:22:44,560 --> 01:22:46,200
Speaker 3: I don't know how he did it, but he like

1371
01:22:46,320 --> 01:22:49,759
Speaker 3: backlit it and then he turned off all the lights

1372
01:22:50,360 --> 01:22:55,080
Speaker 3: and he waited until this my father's girlfriend was walking

1373
01:22:55,160 --> 01:22:58,120
Speaker 3: up the stairs. Nah, and she walked up the stairs

1374
01:22:58,200 --> 01:23:00,559
Speaker 3: and this pntrol Cus dummy is like go on a

1375
01:23:00,640 --> 01:23:04,040
Speaker 3: chair at the top of the stairs and it's backlit

1376
01:23:04,840 --> 01:23:07,680
Speaker 3: and then he does something so that the mouth is

1377
01:23:07,720 --> 01:23:10,200
Speaker 3: moving and it's saying you know whatever it was that

1378
01:23:10,240 --> 01:23:14,439
Speaker 3: it was saying to her, and it freaked her.

1379
01:23:14,720 --> 01:23:15,799
Speaker 2: She could have heard herself.

1380
01:23:16,680 --> 01:23:19,360
Speaker 3: Well, I know he didn't think about any of that stuff,

1381
01:23:19,400 --> 01:23:23,080
Speaker 3: but no, that I mean he he was. He just

1382
01:23:23,200 --> 01:23:25,960
Speaker 3: like did things and they were elaborate. They were like

1383
01:23:26,080 --> 01:23:30,599
Speaker 3: production like things. So that's one of many. I mean,

1384
01:23:30,600 --> 01:23:36,080
Speaker 3: there's so many things that John Michelle, Uh yeah, so many.

1385
01:23:36,520 --> 01:23:39,639
Speaker 2: Okay, two more than we are done. Charlotte from Chicago

1386
01:23:39,720 --> 01:23:41,600
Speaker 2: wants to know, do you do you ever feel like

1387
01:23:41,640 --> 01:23:45,320
Speaker 2: it's a blessing and a burden having a Bosquiocht name.

1388
01:23:49,200 --> 01:23:51,800
Speaker 3: Yes it's a blessing. No, it's not a burden. I

1389
01:23:51,840 --> 01:23:55,680
Speaker 3: think there are things that happen in life that we

1390
01:23:55,800 --> 01:23:57,560
Speaker 3: have to do, and I don't always, Like I was

1391
01:23:57,600 --> 01:23:59,760
Speaker 3: saying before, there are times a day where maybe I

1392
01:23:59,760 --> 01:24:04,679
Speaker 3: don't feel like doing something. But I have always been very,

1393
01:24:04,800 --> 01:24:08,360
Speaker 3: very proud of being Leisan Bosquia. And I mean from

1394
01:24:08,400 --> 01:24:11,280
Speaker 3: the time I was a little girl, before che Michelle

1395
01:24:11,280 --> 01:24:15,240
Speaker 3: did what he did. Our name and the importance of

1396
01:24:16,040 --> 01:24:19,800
Speaker 3: a name was instilled in us when we were very

1397
01:24:19,960 --> 01:24:25,679
Speaker 3: very young, and so we all always, like I always

1398
01:24:25,720 --> 01:24:28,760
Speaker 3: walked with proud, with pride about the fact that I

1399
01:24:28,840 --> 01:24:31,280
Speaker 3: am Luisan Bosquia. That's who I am. My name means

1400
01:24:31,320 --> 01:24:34,080
Speaker 3: a lot to me. But the burden, I don't see

1401
01:24:34,080 --> 01:24:36,960
Speaker 3: it as a burden. I see it as this is

1402
01:24:37,000 --> 01:24:42,040
Speaker 3: the assignment that God has for me, this life, this

1403
01:24:42,240 --> 01:24:49,000
Speaker 3: life right here. To be a first generation daughter of

1404
01:24:49,040 --> 01:24:52,160
Speaker 3: a Haitian father, a Puerto Rican mother, a black Puerto

1405
01:24:52,240 --> 01:24:56,920
Speaker 3: Rican mother from Brooklyn, to grow up in Brooklyn, to

1406
01:24:57,040 --> 01:25:01,240
Speaker 3: experience the things that I experienced being the daughter of

1407
01:25:01,280 --> 01:25:07,680
Speaker 3: a single parent who happened to be a man, to

1408
01:25:11,320 --> 01:25:13,400
Speaker 3: living in Puerto Rico as a child for a few

1409
01:25:13,479 --> 01:25:17,960
Speaker 3: years and having my brother be who he was and

1410
01:25:18,040 --> 01:25:22,160
Speaker 3: do what he did. This is all of this is

1411
01:25:22,160 --> 01:25:25,720
Speaker 3: my assignment, and so you can't part with some of

1412
01:25:25,760 --> 01:25:29,439
Speaker 3: it because then the whole story changes. And it's a

1413
01:25:29,479 --> 01:25:31,880
Speaker 3: story that I'm very interested in, and I know that

1414
01:25:31,960 --> 01:25:39,120
Speaker 3: I have agency in and how I walk this story.

1415
01:25:39,520 --> 01:25:42,200
Speaker 3: Some aspects of the story, like my brother passing away

1416
01:25:42,200 --> 01:25:45,600
Speaker 3: and all this happening weren't expected and weren't planned. But

1417
01:25:46,600 --> 01:25:48,960
Speaker 3: so I can't control that. But what I can control

1418
01:25:49,000 --> 01:25:52,200
Speaker 3: and what I do have, what I do control and

1419
01:25:52,240 --> 01:25:56,840
Speaker 3: pay attention to, is how I'm going to walk. So no,

1420
01:25:56,960 --> 01:25:59,040
Speaker 3: I don't see it as a burden. I don't see

1421
01:25:59,080 --> 01:26:02,560
Speaker 3: life as a burden. See, life is a set of challenges,

1422
01:26:02,760 --> 01:26:07,240
Speaker 3: lots and lots of challenges, and lots of opportunity. Yeah,

1423
01:26:07,240 --> 01:26:10,040
Speaker 3: and lots of opportunity because most of the things that

1424
01:26:10,080 --> 01:26:14,760
Speaker 3: we see as burden or you know, are really there

1425
01:26:14,840 --> 01:26:17,880
Speaker 3: to teach us something if we're only willing to open

1426
01:26:17,880 --> 01:26:19,639
Speaker 3: ourselves up to the ability to learn.

1427
01:26:20,120 --> 01:26:22,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know how many times when people when you're

1428
01:26:22,280 --> 01:26:24,000
Speaker 2: paying for something with your credit card, people look at

1429
01:26:24,040 --> 01:26:25,280
Speaker 2: you and then look at the credit card, and they

1430
01:26:25,400 --> 01:26:29,800
Speaker 2: look look at you and they'd be like.

1431
01:26:28,200 --> 01:26:31,679
Speaker 3: All the time, right, all the time, all the time.

1432
01:26:31,800 --> 01:26:33,960
Speaker 3: I'll give you a really quick quick story. One time

1433
01:26:33,960 --> 01:26:36,240
Speaker 3: I was at a supermarket in New Jersey. I was

1434
01:26:36,240 --> 01:26:38,120
Speaker 3: at a super market in New Jersey. This is like

1435
01:26:38,640 --> 01:26:42,160
Speaker 3: eighteen years ago, and I was in the store with

1436
01:26:42,520 --> 01:26:44,519
Speaker 3: someone and I walked over to the counter and it

1437
01:26:44,560 --> 01:26:48,040
Speaker 3: was the counter, the deli counter. And I walked over

1438
01:26:48,240 --> 01:26:51,240
Speaker 3: and I guess I gave the person my credit card

1439
01:26:51,920 --> 01:26:56,799
Speaker 3: and the person says to me, oh, are you related

1440
01:26:56,880 --> 01:26:59,479
Speaker 3: to that to the famous artists? And I said yes,

1441
01:27:00,320 --> 01:27:03,400
Speaker 3: and he said, oh, how are your related? I said

1442
01:27:03,720 --> 01:27:09,680
Speaker 3: my brother and he said, oh yeah, my, what do

1443
01:27:09,760 --> 01:27:15,120
Speaker 3: you say. My roommate said that he was just hanging

1444
01:27:15,160 --> 01:27:19,000
Speaker 3: out with him last week or something last week, So

1445
01:27:19,080 --> 01:27:21,960
Speaker 3: I said what he said, Yeah, I was just hanging

1446
01:27:21,960 --> 01:27:24,160
Speaker 3: out with him. Yeah, you know, he's hanging out with

1447
01:27:24,240 --> 01:27:26,640
Speaker 3: him last week they went party or whatever. And I

1448
01:27:26,680 --> 01:27:28,280
Speaker 3: looked at him souse. I was like, this person has

1449
01:27:28,320 --> 01:27:31,439
Speaker 3: to be joking or trying to be funny. And I said,

1450
01:27:31,479 --> 01:27:34,160
Speaker 3: are you serious? And he says yeah, And I said

1451
01:27:34,680 --> 01:27:37,439
Speaker 3: your roommate He said yeah. I said, are you pulling

1452
01:27:37,520 --> 01:27:41,240
Speaker 3: my leg? And he said no really, And I said,

1453
01:27:42,760 --> 01:27:45,240
Speaker 3: so you how have you heard about this artist? And

1454
01:27:45,240 --> 01:27:47,280
Speaker 3: he said no, I just hear about him here and there.

1455
01:27:49,040 --> 01:27:52,040
Speaker 3: And I said, okay, I think you should go look

1456
01:27:52,080 --> 01:27:55,000
Speaker 3: the artists up. I think before you throw it around,

1457
01:27:55,640 --> 01:27:59,519
Speaker 3: I think you should go where I please let me know.

1458
01:28:00,200 --> 01:28:02,120
Speaker 3: I think you should go. I think you should go

1459
01:28:02,360 --> 01:28:05,240
Speaker 3: look look him up because it's like Tupac right, I'm like,

1460
01:28:05,640 --> 01:28:08,920
Speaker 3: go look this up. His storia because you got the

1461
01:28:09,000 --> 01:28:11,920
Speaker 3: story isn't making sense to me? So yeah, people do

1462
01:28:12,120 --> 01:28:12,679
Speaker 3: all the time.

1463
01:28:12,720 --> 01:28:13,760
Speaker 5: People are bug out.

1464
01:28:13,800 --> 01:28:15,519
Speaker 3: I'm telling you they are.

1465
01:28:16,000 --> 01:28:18,680
Speaker 2: Only in the Tri State area.

1466
01:28:18,880 --> 01:28:20,840
Speaker 3: I don't know. I think it's all over the world.

1467
01:28:20,880 --> 01:28:22,680
Speaker 3: I think it's all but the Tri State area is

1468
01:28:22,760 --> 01:28:23,679
Speaker 3: very quite special.

1469
01:28:24,160 --> 01:28:27,320
Speaker 2: And last, but not least, mel Queens wants to know,

1470
01:28:27,439 --> 01:28:29,280
Speaker 2: how do you think your brother would have been on

1471
01:28:29,320 --> 01:28:34,920
Speaker 2: social media? I feel like he would have been flexing.

1472
01:28:36,439 --> 01:28:39,400
Speaker 3: Oh well, what I was the first thing that came up.

1473
01:28:39,760 --> 01:28:43,040
Speaker 3: The first thing that came up was Jem Michelle would

1474
01:28:43,040 --> 01:28:48,080
Speaker 3: blow up anything that he decided to get involved in,

1475
01:28:48,240 --> 01:28:50,559
Speaker 3: anything that was of interest to him. Joe Jeum Michelle

1476
01:28:50,640 --> 01:28:51,800
Speaker 3: was going to do it, and he was going to

1477
01:28:51,880 --> 01:28:54,880
Speaker 3: do it so on social media. I think that he

1478
01:28:55,240 --> 01:28:59,679
Speaker 3: if he chose to be participating. He would absolutely blot

1479
01:28:59,680 --> 01:29:03,280
Speaker 3: it because people, yes, he's an artist, but people really

1480
01:29:03,320 --> 01:29:07,160
Speaker 3: wanted to know what he had to say, you know,

1481
01:29:07,240 --> 01:29:09,559
Speaker 3: and he had a lot to say. So I think

1482
01:29:09,600 --> 01:29:12,599
Speaker 3: he'd I think he'd be he'd be having a good

1483
01:29:12,600 --> 01:29:13,599
Speaker 3: time on social media.

1484
01:29:13,880 --> 01:29:16,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, he'd be on a shave so many times.

1485
01:29:16,880 --> 01:29:20,160
Speaker 3: He would, he would, he would.

1486
01:29:20,760 --> 01:29:23,479
Speaker 2: Oh my god, this has been a treat. I can't

1487
01:29:23,560 --> 01:29:26,120
Speaker 2: express to you and your team how much this really

1488
01:29:26,160 --> 01:29:29,280
Speaker 2: means to me. And just seeing a reflection on myself

1489
01:29:29,320 --> 01:29:31,439
Speaker 2: and you and just seeing how you are able to

1490
01:29:31,520 --> 01:29:35,439
Speaker 2: navigate so many different worlds have been beyond inspiring. So

1491
01:29:35,560 --> 01:29:37,680
Speaker 2: I really appreciate you taking the time to have this

1492
01:29:37,720 --> 01:29:38,559
Speaker 2: conversation with me.

1493
01:29:38,800 --> 01:29:41,559
Speaker 3: Seriously, thank you. Thank you so much, Ebanie. This was

1494
01:29:41,760 --> 01:29:45,080
Speaker 3: this was like talking to a friend. I really appreciate

1495
01:29:46,200 --> 01:29:52,120
Speaker 3: how welcoming you've been and how kind you've been. So

1496
01:29:53,360 --> 01:29:56,280
Speaker 3: this is fulco to me. I appreciate it very very much.

1497
01:29:56,400 --> 01:29:58,080
Speaker 2: Thank you. And I guess I tell my daddy I

1498
01:29:58,120 --> 01:30:00,000
Speaker 2: talked about him on a shell to you.

1499
01:30:00,040 --> 01:30:02,080
Speaker 3: I should tell you Daddy you talked about you know,

1500
01:30:02,280 --> 01:30:04,880
Speaker 3: and just you know, you will give yourself some time,

1501
01:30:05,120 --> 01:30:06,559
Speaker 3: you know, get some time.

1502
01:30:07,080 --> 01:30:08,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, So tell the people where we can follow you

1503
01:30:08,840 --> 01:30:11,640
Speaker 2: at how can we support you? Let us know you

1504
01:30:11,680 --> 01:30:12,320
Speaker 2: about your info?

1505
01:30:13,120 --> 01:30:15,559
Speaker 3: Thank you. So I have the Shaping Freedom podcast, the

1506
01:30:15,600 --> 01:30:20,320
Speaker 3: Shaping Freedom with Lisanboss Gap podcast that's available on all platforms.

1507
01:30:21,200 --> 01:30:25,760
Speaker 3: You can buy some products from the shop dot Shapingfreedom

1508
01:30:25,800 --> 01:30:29,280
Speaker 3: dot com website. I have candles, beautifully curated candles. I'm

1509
01:30:29,280 --> 01:30:34,439
Speaker 3: gonna send you some ebene yoga mats. I have journals coming,

1510
01:30:34,880 --> 01:30:37,840
Speaker 3: and I'm doing a capsule collection of T shirts coming,

1511
01:30:37,880 --> 01:30:42,479
Speaker 3: and I also have some meditation pillows with that in mind.

1512
01:30:42,680 --> 01:30:45,599
Speaker 3: This I'm pointing to the couch behind me I'm doing.

1513
01:30:45,640 --> 01:30:47,160
Speaker 3: I don't know when this is going to air, but

1514
01:30:47,280 --> 01:30:51,280
Speaker 3: I have programs and workshops running all the time, and

1515
01:30:52,280 --> 01:30:55,920
Speaker 3: there is one coming up called the Best Ever Workshop,

1516
01:30:56,520 --> 01:30:59,880
Speaker 3: Best Year Ever excuse me workshop running it on a

1517
01:31:00,240 --> 01:31:04,680
Speaker 3: twenty sixth online and also on May first, so we

1518
01:31:04,720 --> 01:31:07,400
Speaker 3: have two dates for that. It's online, it's two hours.

1519
01:31:07,760 --> 01:31:12,240
Speaker 3: It's for those folks who set out with an intention

1520
01:31:12,360 --> 01:31:14,000
Speaker 3: at the beginning of the year and here we are

1521
01:31:14,040 --> 01:31:16,000
Speaker 3: in April and they're like, I don't even know right

1522
01:31:16,120 --> 01:31:20,040
Speaker 3: where that So it's a it's a workshop geared toward

1523
01:31:20,160 --> 01:31:22,560
Speaker 3: helping helping you to get back on track and to

1524
01:31:22,640 --> 01:31:25,479
Speaker 3: course correct if that's what you need to do. And

1525
01:31:25,520 --> 01:31:27,439
Speaker 3: you can support me by following me on all the

1526
01:31:27,439 --> 01:31:32,280
Speaker 3: platforms shaping freedom. I'm on all the social media platforms,

1527
01:31:32,320 --> 01:31:36,439
Speaker 3: and you know, just tell somebody if you know of

1528
01:31:36,560 --> 01:31:40,360
Speaker 3: folks who could use some help with the things that

1529
01:31:40,400 --> 01:31:43,599
Speaker 3: we just talked about, send them, send them over.

1530
01:31:44,120 --> 01:31:47,320
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, And this is the epitome of what my

1531
01:31:47,360 --> 01:31:49,320
Speaker 2: model is all about. Please make sure you share your

1532
01:31:49,360 --> 01:31:51,799
Speaker 2: storylines because you never know how it can be somebody

1533
01:31:51,840 --> 01:31:55,240
Speaker 2: else lifelines. So thank you, thank you, thank you so much.

1534
01:31:55,240 --> 01:31:57,360
Speaker 2: And ladies and gentlemen, Lisa.

1535
01:31:57,240 --> 01:32:00,519
Speaker 5: Basia, yeah, thank you.

1536
01:32:01,439 --> 01:32:07,519
Speaker 2: Until next time, everyone, later do you gonna say bye bye?

1537
01:32:09,600 --> 01:32:15,080
Speaker 3: Sorry?

1538
01:32:16,040 --> 01:32:19,120
Speaker 2: The Professional Homegirl podcast is a production of the Black

1539
01:32:19,120 --> 01:32:23,160
Speaker 2: Effect podcast Network. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the

1540
01:32:23,160 --> 01:32:26,360
Speaker 2: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your

1541
01:32:26,400 --> 01:32:29,439
Speaker 2: favorite shows. Don't forget to subscribe and rate the show,

1542
01:32:29,760 --> 01:32:32,200
Speaker 2: and you can connect with me on social media at

1543
01:32:32,240 --> 01:32:33,520
Speaker 2: the PAG podcast