1 00:00:01,680 --> 00:00:04,800 Speaker 1: Welcome back to More to It, where I talk to athletes, 2 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:08,399 Speaker 1: entertainers and unique folks to find out the stories beyond 3 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:13,240 Speaker 1: public perception. Looks are deceiving and there's nothing simple to achieving. 4 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,239 Speaker 1: How'm our slus widely, and today I want to talk 5 00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:20,200 Speaker 1: to you about perseverance. Many people, especially in the sports field, 6 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:23,439 Speaker 1: come from humble beginnings, and it's easy to look over 7 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:25,560 Speaker 1: that and chalk it up to being a part of life. 8 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:29,000 Speaker 1: But in this episode, we really dive deep into those 9 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:32,360 Speaker 1: real make or break challenges and what it looks like 10 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:37,280 Speaker 1: to choose success by any means. Sean Merriman, better known 11 00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:40,879 Speaker 1: as lights Out, shares with us the real stories not 12 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:44,080 Speaker 1: only behind his nickname, but behind the pain that the 13 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:47,760 Speaker 1: name was birth. How does one channel their emotions into 14 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:50,600 Speaker 1: their passion. How does the child grow to reconcile with 15 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:55,480 Speaker 1: circumstances like homelessness, a lack of food and poverty. How 16 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:59,720 Speaker 1: does anyone overcome living and survival mode to thriving in 17 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:03,240 Speaker 1: the NFL not only as a rookie with his own brand, 18 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:06,280 Speaker 1: but as Rookie of the Year. On top of it all, 19 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:15,600 Speaker 1: Dancer for Sean Merriman was football and determination. My guys, 20 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:19,000 Speaker 1: Sean lights out Merriman. How's it going, brother? What's up, 21 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,520 Speaker 1: my dude? How are you? I'm doing great, brother. I 22 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:24,080 Speaker 1: know a lot more about you now than I did 23 00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:27,560 Speaker 1: even when I saw you this weekend. Because of Wikipedia, brother, 24 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:29,959 Speaker 1: I had to do my homework on you. Sean. And 25 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:33,960 Speaker 1: let's start where it all started for you, growing up 26 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:39,840 Speaker 1: in Maryland, single family home, your mother raised you. Talk 27 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:43,640 Speaker 1: about how your mother raised a man. Well, you know 28 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:46,840 Speaker 1: the first part of it, man, Um. You know you 29 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,120 Speaker 1: don't understand how tough and what they had to go 30 00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:51,360 Speaker 1: through into your an adult yourself and right, I got 31 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:53,400 Speaker 1: a twelve of your son. So now that you're you 32 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:57,040 Speaker 1: oblivious to everything then and then you started appreciating stuff 33 00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:59,160 Speaker 1: more and more as you get older. Um. And I 34 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:01,840 Speaker 1: grew up in Frenchial Just County back when you know 35 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:04,880 Speaker 1: it was bad. I mean, I would say, about seven 36 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:07,880 Speaker 1: and eight minutes from me with murder capital of the 37 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:11,000 Speaker 1: of the country for almost ten years straight in Washington, 38 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:13,079 Speaker 1: d C. Area like right and right, not too far 39 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:15,919 Speaker 1: from me, Um. And so you look back on the 40 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:20,519 Speaker 1: things that what she sacrificed um for us at that time, man, 41 00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:23,800 Speaker 1: and and you started being more and more thankful Not 42 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:26,360 Speaker 1: only is she sacrificed man, but it made you feel good. 43 00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:28,640 Speaker 1: You have my day because my my dad wasn't around. 44 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:30,800 Speaker 1: My dad wasn't in the picture, so she in the 45 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:33,720 Speaker 1: sense was my my mom and my dad. She took 46 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:36,520 Speaker 1: that place. And you don't understand how important that is 47 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:39,040 Speaker 1: until you get old enough to appreciate it. Yeah, what 48 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:42,600 Speaker 1: did you feel in those moments? The voids, the absence 49 00:02:42,639 --> 00:02:45,320 Speaker 1: of your father being raised by your mother. You know 50 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:48,440 Speaker 1: what saved me, to be honest, is, uh, my coaches. 51 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:50,920 Speaker 1: You know, from the from my boys and girls club 52 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:54,480 Speaker 1: coaches to my high school coaches. My coaches really kind 53 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:57,000 Speaker 1: of stepped in and filled that void that I didn't have. 54 00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:00,200 Speaker 1: Nobody can steel avoid if your actual dad, I don't 55 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:02,840 Speaker 1: how great your coaches are, how much, how big and 56 00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:05,680 Speaker 1: influenced there in your life, nobody's actually gonna be your father. 57 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:08,240 Speaker 1: And I can say that because I'm a dad now myself, 58 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:10,080 Speaker 1: So you know, coach that ever gonna fill my place. 59 00:03:10,639 --> 00:03:13,799 Speaker 1: But in the in the grand scheme of things, they 60 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:16,480 Speaker 1: took that that man figured that I was looking for 61 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,240 Speaker 1: to having my life by taking me in. I mean 62 00:03:19,639 --> 00:03:22,840 Speaker 1: at that age, nobody knew I was going pro nobody 63 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:24,920 Speaker 1: knew I was gonna be you know, lights out and 64 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:28,079 Speaker 1: have you know, accolades and the success um. And they 65 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:30,920 Speaker 1: did it because they saw something in me outside the 66 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:34,360 Speaker 1: football field. And I can't even I can't even be 67 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:38,160 Speaker 1: thankful for that enough, because who knows, um where I 68 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:41,360 Speaker 1: could have ended up if something like that didn't happen. Yeah, man, 69 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:43,640 Speaker 1: I mean you grew up in an environment like that. 70 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:47,160 Speaker 1: And also you lose that balance and act between having 71 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:50,120 Speaker 1: that nuclear family and your mother and father there and 72 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:52,720 Speaker 1: your mother doing it as much as she could at 73 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:56,680 Speaker 1: the time, but you're taking hits to your security and 74 00:03:56,720 --> 00:04:00,640 Speaker 1: you're also taking some hits to your stability. And then you, guys, 75 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:05,400 Speaker 1: not once, but twice had fires happened to the point 76 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:08,920 Speaker 1: where you're homeless. Talk about not only did you lose 77 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:12,240 Speaker 1: your father growing up in his absence, but you also 78 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:14,400 Speaker 1: lose her home. Yeah, that that was one of the 79 00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:16,680 Speaker 1: toughest times men I had. So when I was eleven 80 00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:22,960 Speaker 1: years old, Um, my babysitter had witnessed a murder in 81 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:27,240 Speaker 1: our neighborhood and so the three brothers who you know 82 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:29,960 Speaker 1: end up you know, murdering this guy in our neighborhood 83 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,920 Speaker 1: wanted to come and do something to her. Just so happened. 84 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:35,920 Speaker 1: It was it was our building where we lived at UM. 85 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:38,719 Speaker 1: So they threw one of those maltiv I can't pronounce it, 86 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:43,400 Speaker 1: those cocktail bombs. Cocktails. Yeah, they threw one of those 87 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:46,599 Speaker 1: through the window because they were, you know, obviously trying 88 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:49,280 Speaker 1: to kill her. And so we were there and we 89 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:52,640 Speaker 1: had to get out of the building. We got out, 90 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:55,040 Speaker 1: met my sister. We were out the building. But it's 91 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:57,400 Speaker 1: a four year old girl who burned right there in 92 00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:59,479 Speaker 1: her sleep. And you know, I've seen that at eleven 93 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:02,360 Speaker 1: years old, and so you know, thank god she never 94 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:05,800 Speaker 1: woke up. Another experience in me pain. But to see 95 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:09,000 Speaker 1: something like that, UM, can really affect you as a 96 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,560 Speaker 1: as a kid, and you don't understand these things that 97 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:13,880 Speaker 1: you were affected then until you get old and realized 98 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:16,360 Speaker 1: that that's not normal. Those things aren't You're not supposed 99 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:19,480 Speaker 1: to see that as an eleven year old kids. So, um, 100 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,440 Speaker 1: you know that that was the first time we actually 101 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:24,840 Speaker 1: were homeless because of that. The second time we were 102 00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:28,600 Speaker 1: homeless is uh. We we got a eviction notice on 103 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:30,479 Speaker 1: the door and Mom couldn't pay the bills. They cut 104 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:34,080 Speaker 1: our light and gas electricity off. Um, And so the 105 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:36,599 Speaker 1: house was cold, it wasn't lit, and my mom had 106 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:40,200 Speaker 1: lit a candle um on top of my TV and 107 00:05:40,279 --> 00:05:42,919 Speaker 1: my bedroom. Then I I left because it was cold 108 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:45,360 Speaker 1: in the house and we had no heat and no lights. 109 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:47,400 Speaker 1: I went to stay down about a mile down the 110 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:50,160 Speaker 1: road at a fringe place because they had food, they 111 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,000 Speaker 1: had heat, and all those things that we didn't have. 112 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:54,359 Speaker 1: And I got a call about four o'clock in the 113 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:57,080 Speaker 1: morning to my friend's mom saying that the house had 114 00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:59,279 Speaker 1: burned down, and I ran, you know, ran home a 115 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:03,440 Speaker 1: mile and saw it in half. The house was practically burnt. 116 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,400 Speaker 1: And so at that point, you know, we went and 117 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:08,240 Speaker 1: we're sleeping the back of the the cars, me and my 118 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:12,200 Speaker 1: sister with my mom. We went to shelters and we 119 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:14,960 Speaker 1: had to the whole thing, ask food for churches, we 120 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:17,120 Speaker 1: were depending on so many other places. And then that's 121 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:19,800 Speaker 1: where my high school coaches took me in. And like 122 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:22,800 Speaker 1: I said, um, who knows where I could ended up 123 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:25,039 Speaker 1: if if that didn't happen, Because at that point you 124 00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:27,800 Speaker 1: become in survival mode. And where I'm from, when you 125 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,479 Speaker 1: get a survival mode, you start venturing off in things 126 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:33,280 Speaker 1: that you shouldn't be doing. Yeah, critical time, man, And 127 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:36,880 Speaker 1: who's so upsetting? All those circumstances that you had to 128 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:39,720 Speaker 1: deal with, especially at such a young age, and you're 129 00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:43,600 Speaker 1: feeling all these emotions I'm sure all over the spectrum 130 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:45,920 Speaker 1: in terms of feeling the love from your mother and 131 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:47,800 Speaker 1: her doing as much as she could. But at the 132 00:06:47,839 --> 00:06:51,359 Speaker 1: same time, being real, you guys are just having a 133 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:54,520 Speaker 1: case of the bad luck after bad luck. So then 134 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:57,960 Speaker 1: these coaches take you in. You're in survival mode. But 135 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,280 Speaker 1: how do you go from survival mode to actually lead 136 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:04,839 Speaker 1: thriving and directing that energy positively? Well, you know, it 137 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,080 Speaker 1: was times that I was at practice, you know, practice 138 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:10,080 Speaker 1: two hours long or whatever, and it was my getaway 139 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:12,160 Speaker 1: from everything that was going on. But you knew as 140 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:14,120 Speaker 1: soon as you walked off that field, you might walk 141 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:16,480 Speaker 1: home into a viction. Notice, you might walk home to 142 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,760 Speaker 1: no food there. You might walk home to your life's 143 00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:21,640 Speaker 1: being off, and so reality set back in when you 144 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:23,840 Speaker 1: walked off the field. Now, when I moved in with 145 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:26,880 Speaker 1: my coaches, that was the first time that I actually 146 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:31,080 Speaker 1: experienced a very normal childhood. Right I had I remember 147 00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:34,920 Speaker 1: the first time he had he had serial, right, and 148 00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:37,680 Speaker 1: I went through two boxes of serial or two days, 149 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:40,760 Speaker 1: I ate all hit serial up because that was yeah, 150 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,600 Speaker 1: that was like my first time like hold on, I 151 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:45,000 Speaker 1: could get serial not you know, not get my ask 152 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,680 Speaker 1: foot forward, you know something. Because we had one box 153 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:49,960 Speaker 1: serial between me and my sister my mom that if 154 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,720 Speaker 1: you went through it within a week, that was it. 155 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:54,480 Speaker 1: And I ate two boxes to serrial on two days. 156 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:56,280 Speaker 1: But we still laugh about this, but now I talked 157 00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:58,600 Speaker 1: to him. But that was my first time getting a 158 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:02,080 Speaker 1: chance to experience normalcy and what it is to come 159 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:05,920 Speaker 1: home and have food there um and have a normal lifestyle. 160 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:10,200 Speaker 1: And and that really opened my mindset up to different 161 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:13,160 Speaker 1: experience and I started to think different that they did, 162 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:15,680 Speaker 1: like life should be this way, it shouldn't be that way. 163 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:18,200 Speaker 1: So much of this is mapping on to kind of 164 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:21,880 Speaker 1: the outsider's view of a football player, like the mental makeup, 165 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:26,120 Speaker 1: the circumstances that make a football player from a single 166 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:30,480 Speaker 1: family home impoverished has to deal with all these emotions 167 00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:33,000 Speaker 1: and he takes it out on the football field. Wasn't 168 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,280 Speaker 1: that simple for you as well? For the for the 169 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:38,440 Speaker 1: most part, it was and and uh and actually, in fact, 170 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:42,880 Speaker 1: the first time my sophomore year at Fred Duca's High 171 00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:45,400 Speaker 1: School and and up a marb Bar, Maryland while went 172 00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:49,079 Speaker 1: to high school. Um, I remember my sophomore year they 173 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:50,959 Speaker 1: put a camera in my face or not in a 174 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:54,599 Speaker 1: reporter there, um from ESPN because I was getting some 175 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:58,400 Speaker 1: some national you know, notoriety. Hold on e F in 176 00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:00,360 Speaker 1: high school. You said it was like up like a 177 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:04,000 Speaker 1: blog or something from from ESPN. UM, And I think 178 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:06,640 Speaker 1: I was, you know, I was coming onto the picture. 179 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,600 Speaker 1: I just got a verbal offer from the University of Maryland. 180 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:12,560 Speaker 1: So I was getting some notoriety in the country. And uh, 181 00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:14,320 Speaker 1: they asked me, they said, hey, why do you, um, 182 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,800 Speaker 1: why why why do you play football? And I looked 183 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:20,320 Speaker 1: at the guy, not having any media training nothing, I said, 184 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:21,959 Speaker 1: how could do anything I wanted somebody and not go 185 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:27,559 Speaker 1: to jail? Right? He so like yeah. I was like, 186 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:30,000 Speaker 1: I'm glad they picked that back up because I would 187 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,679 Speaker 1: have looked like a psychopath back then. But I think 188 00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:34,319 Speaker 1: what I was trying to say as a kid was 189 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:37,120 Speaker 1: I was going through a lot and that was my outlet. 190 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:40,640 Speaker 1: That was that was how I got everything off my 191 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:42,679 Speaker 1: chest because that's the two hours in my day that 192 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:44,920 Speaker 1: I didn't have to worry about everything else that was 193 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:49,040 Speaker 1: going on. And so I didn't realize that was beat 194 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:52,439 Speaker 1: me kind of venting out at that time. But looking 195 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:54,600 Speaker 1: back on it now, I was I was just speaking 196 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:57,160 Speaker 1: from what I was going through. Yeah, you can feel 197 00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:59,439 Speaker 1: it like that rage is boiling up, but you just 198 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:02,199 Speaker 1: don't see the bubbles just yet. But you're you're having 199 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:05,800 Speaker 1: an outlet now to take this out, this frustration, this 200 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,599 Speaker 1: anger that you're dealing with. When did you realize on 201 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:11,599 Speaker 1: the field you were special? When did you start to 202 00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:14,839 Speaker 1: get that notice in that notoriety. It happened at a 203 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:18,720 Speaker 1: very young age man, even before um, even before high school, 204 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:21,520 Speaker 1: I was I was known as as that guys. I 205 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:24,040 Speaker 1: didn't have the size that I had the mentality. I 206 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:27,520 Speaker 1: wanted to hit everybody. Um. I remember I came my 207 00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:29,520 Speaker 1: freshman in high school and I was late and I 208 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:31,880 Speaker 1: missed like a practice or to a training camp. And 209 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:34,040 Speaker 1: I got there and all the coaches was piste off 210 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:37,240 Speaker 1: at me and like, basically, who do you think you are? 211 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:39,400 Speaker 1: You're showing up, you missed practice and all this stuff. 212 00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:41,480 Speaker 1: Whoop a kid? What a position you want to play? 213 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:43,199 Speaker 1: I said, coach, I don't care. I just want to 214 00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:46,800 Speaker 1: hit somebody. And they got quiet. Everybody looked at each 215 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,760 Speaker 1: other like get us some pads right, and everything everything 216 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:52,839 Speaker 1: was forgetting. So um, I think I I think I 217 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:55,440 Speaker 1: realized that in myself earlier that I had this uh 218 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:58,720 Speaker 1: this this this confidence of and it wasn't a confidence 219 00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:00,559 Speaker 1: I thought I was better anybody. I just knew my 220 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:03,040 Speaker 1: that I was gonna work. I knew I was gonna 221 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:05,559 Speaker 1: work in. My confidence bred from my work, and so 222 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:08,040 Speaker 1: I figured it out. And then once I started to 223 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:11,640 Speaker 1: get some size and speed behind me from along with 224 00:11:11,679 --> 00:11:14,679 Speaker 1: the mentality that I had, that's when the whole you know, 225 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,959 Speaker 1: big hits and the lights out stuff came because I 226 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:21,880 Speaker 1: grew into my size. Yeah, now lights out came. Didn't 227 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:25,000 Speaker 1: just come. Something happened. How did you get the nickname 228 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:29,120 Speaker 1: lights out? My my my sophomore year, um in high school, 229 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:31,800 Speaker 1: I knocked out four kids in one game, four kids 230 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:36,120 Speaker 1: in one game in one high school. Yeah, yeah, you 231 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:39,640 Speaker 1: were mad. I remember, I was always angry. I was angry. Um. 232 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:44,400 Speaker 1: I remember after the game. I had twenty students coming 233 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:45,920 Speaker 1: up run up to me after the game said, man, 234 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:49,280 Speaker 1: you knocked those those kids lights out? And I was like, yeah, 235 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:52,080 Speaker 1: call me lights out, not thinking that it was gonna 236 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:55,400 Speaker 1: like stick the way it did. And this is pre 237 00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:58,240 Speaker 1: social media, pre you know, YouTube and all this other stuff. 238 00:11:58,280 --> 00:11:59,839 Speaker 1: I remember getting to school Monday and I got my 239 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,760 Speaker 1: back book book back on and I got my books 240 00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:05,440 Speaker 1: my hand, and everybody kind of walked up by me, like, yo, 241 00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:08,599 Speaker 1: what's up? Lights Like it caught on that quick that 242 00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:12,520 Speaker 1: Monday in school. Um. I then went to my mom 243 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:15,000 Speaker 1: that day, and when I got home from school, I'll 244 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:17,720 Speaker 1: never forget. She was in her room smoking a cigarette. 245 00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:20,240 Speaker 1: Room was cloud, he couldn't see nothing in there. And 246 00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:22,880 Speaker 1: I'm going in there doing this, I said, Mom, I said, Mama, 247 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:25,120 Speaker 1: I said, I want to get this light. I want 248 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:27,679 Speaker 1: to get lights out tattooed my right forum and their 249 00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:29,559 Speaker 1: exact words like boy clothes the door and get the 250 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:32,839 Speaker 1: hell out of here, right and uh and so you 251 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,000 Speaker 1: know me, but I'm just persistent as hell. The next 252 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:37,720 Speaker 1: day I came after school mama, and you know, every 253 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,199 Speaker 1: day she would tell me get out to the room, 254 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:42,120 Speaker 1: stop ast and like the two weeks into it, she 255 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:46,040 Speaker 1: finally took me, uh to get the lights out hand 256 00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:48,920 Speaker 1: and light switching my right form and that whole thing 257 00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:52,920 Speaker 1: started from there. Man, that's amazing. I remember being a 258 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:59,120 Speaker 1: professional athlete and getting consumed with some younger level player 259 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:02,959 Speaker 1: Sean Mary who had a brand and was all baller 260 00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:06,480 Speaker 1: and being a former Charger like I was, and they 261 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:10,640 Speaker 1: drafted you two thousand and five. Talk about that draft 262 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:14,720 Speaker 1: experience and how you felt coming from those humble beginnings, 263 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:19,920 Speaker 1: being homeless, all of these anger issues, finally realizing into 264 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:23,400 Speaker 1: an NFL dream. Well, it was, so it was a 265 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,640 Speaker 1: process in that right. Um. And then when I went 266 00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:28,480 Speaker 1: to University of Maryland and I got around like other 267 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:32,240 Speaker 1: other students and and and kids who have good up bringing, 268 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:36,440 Speaker 1: both parents in the household, and just you know, different ethnicities. 269 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:38,319 Speaker 1: I mean, where I came from, we didn't see Asian, 270 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:40,760 Speaker 1: we didn't see you know, anybody from the Middle East, 271 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:43,839 Speaker 1: and any other ethnic ethnic group wasn't in my neighborhood. 272 00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:46,559 Speaker 1: It was predominantly black. So you know, I got a 273 00:13:46,679 --> 00:13:49,079 Speaker 1: chance to experience other cultures for the first time, and 274 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:52,360 Speaker 1: being around other other people, and so my mindsets just 275 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:55,720 Speaker 1: I just started to open up and started looking at everything, 276 00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:59,199 Speaker 1: and so I got really smart then, an understanding of 277 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:03,839 Speaker 1: different religious everything. I would just just completely open to 278 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,559 Speaker 1: seeing different things that I didn't see growing up. So 279 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:08,800 Speaker 1: by the time I got to the NFL, I was 280 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:12,040 Speaker 1: already cultured, if that makes any sense. Like my mind was, 281 00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:16,440 Speaker 1: I was already open, and I didn't have the same 282 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:19,320 Speaker 1: type of anger anymore, because you know, I was eating 283 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,560 Speaker 1: at the cafeteria every day. I had, we had pale 284 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:24,520 Speaker 1: grant money, we had you know, you so dorm room 285 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:27,840 Speaker 1: and and and you know, good lifestyle and stuff on campus. 286 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:31,200 Speaker 1: And so my mindset was already kind of transitioned out 287 00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:34,840 Speaker 1: of being that angry kid that went through all that stuff. 288 00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:37,760 Speaker 1: Now what happened was what I did bring along. I 289 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:40,360 Speaker 1: learned how to play as this angry kid. So like 290 00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:43,440 Speaker 1: that's the only that's the only way I knew, right, 291 00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:46,520 Speaker 1: is to try to knock somebody out, push through everything, 292 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:50,800 Speaker 1: you know, no complaining, going all out right on nothing. 293 00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:53,680 Speaker 1: So that mentality is how I grew up and how 294 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,320 Speaker 1: I learned how to play the game. So there was 295 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,680 Speaker 1: no turning from that no more. That was just that 296 00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:00,240 Speaker 1: was me from that point on, even though I didn't 297 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,160 Speaker 1: have that same anger and raised that I did as 298 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:05,160 Speaker 1: as that young kid. Um. And so that that part 299 00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:08,560 Speaker 1: of me's kept, that part of me stayed. And you know, 300 00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:11,000 Speaker 1: since I got uh, you know, in the NFL, you 301 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,040 Speaker 1: getting your money for the first time, you're experienced on 302 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:16,280 Speaker 1: this stuff for the first time, your culture now and 303 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:18,640 Speaker 1: now your mindset, and you're looking at different things across 304 00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:21,400 Speaker 1: the board, and I was. I was just a completely different, 305 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:24,280 Speaker 1: you know person at that point. Man talking about the 306 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:27,520 Speaker 1: balance and that keeping the good and then also enhancing 307 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:30,240 Speaker 1: it with some greatness. You hit the ground running, brother, 308 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:34,560 Speaker 1: like it was lights out hello in the NFL, and 309 00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:37,880 Speaker 1: most guys have to go through that maturation process. You 310 00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:41,560 Speaker 1: learned the game speed, get acclimated to the to the 311 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:44,760 Speaker 1: men instead of the boys. But you became Rookie of 312 00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:48,600 Speaker 1: the Year, and every year it seemed like Sean Merriman 313 00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:54,200 Speaker 1: had an impact. Talk about that experience like, Okay, I'm 314 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:56,440 Speaker 1: supposed to be the guy that has to learn something, 315 00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:59,880 Speaker 1: but I'm out here dictating terms. Um, you know who, 316 00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:04,240 Speaker 1: I gotta give credit like some people who was important 317 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:07,480 Speaker 1: and not only just the learning curve, but also the 318 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:10,800 Speaker 1: experience of being around at his LaVar Arrington. Um, so 319 00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:14,840 Speaker 1: LaVar when he got drafted then to the Redskins. Um, 320 00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:17,040 Speaker 1: you know, I convinced his younger brother to come and 321 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:19,560 Speaker 1: play high school basketball with me at Douglas and so 322 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:22,320 Speaker 1: me and LaVar you got really really close you know, 323 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,360 Speaker 1: Lavarara kind of my football games, who kind of my 324 00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:27,320 Speaker 1: basketball games. Obviously his brother played there, and I would 325 00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:29,240 Speaker 1: hang around LaVar a lot, so I would do everything 326 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:31,360 Speaker 1: from I would go meet LaVar in his hotel room 327 00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:33,120 Speaker 1: whenever they played, and I would sit there and look 328 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:35,640 Speaker 1: at this playbook like before, and I would hang I 329 00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:38,280 Speaker 1: would hang with LaVar Lavarwar Danny had to kick me 330 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:40,160 Speaker 1: out of his house in Virginia because I was I 331 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:44,400 Speaker 1: didn't want to leave, uh and and he had serial 332 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:48,680 Speaker 1: you know, and so um. It was Also I wasn't 333 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:50,960 Speaker 1: shocked at the lifestyle, right because I already been around it. 334 00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:54,000 Speaker 1: And you know, I credit LaVar for a lot of 335 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:56,120 Speaker 1: things because he did stuff that he didn't have to 336 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:58,880 Speaker 1: do and kind of pushing his knowledge and and and 337 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:01,200 Speaker 1: spending time with me because in high school, no one 338 00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:03,360 Speaker 1: knew I was going to go to the NFL and 339 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:06,040 Speaker 1: do all this stuff. Yes, potential, but nobody knew that. 340 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,480 Speaker 1: Um And so by the time I got and I 341 00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:12,439 Speaker 1: was working with him and getting pointers from him. Uh 342 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:14,280 Speaker 1: and so that kind of sped up the learning curve. 343 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:18,080 Speaker 1: Also too, in college, I played with Ray Luwership brother 344 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:21,640 Speaker 1: Keenan Lattimore, so I was around Ray a whole lot too. 345 00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:24,800 Speaker 1: So I had, man you're talking about somebody had the 346 00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:28,440 Speaker 1: package and and was like the I had the experience 347 00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:31,480 Speaker 1: of the sped up learning curve that was that was me. 348 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:34,800 Speaker 1: So I had all this stuff ready packaged, like ready 349 00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:38,399 Speaker 1: to go because I've already experienced the work ethic. Um, 350 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:41,000 Speaker 1: you know, just being around the spotlight and being around 351 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:44,679 Speaker 1: hell Man LaVar. I used to have a g wagon, right, 352 00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:47,240 Speaker 1: g Lavarre used to drive as G wagon up on 353 00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:49,800 Speaker 1: our field in high school games. And I would look 354 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:51,960 Speaker 1: over during the game like, I'm getting I'm getting me 355 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:55,840 Speaker 1: a G wagon. Like that's the coolest, right, I'm getting 356 00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:58,080 Speaker 1: I'm doing a wagon. And so what I do when 357 00:17:58,080 --> 00:17:59,840 Speaker 1: I got my money, I wanted to go buy g 358 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:03,040 Speaker 1: wagon because LaVar and so you know when you have 359 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:06,720 Speaker 1: that kind of effect on somebody, and um, it just 360 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:09,439 Speaker 1: I didn't feel like I didn't feel like a rookie 361 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:12,720 Speaker 1: coming into a team that you know, I was twenty 362 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:15,480 Speaker 1: years old when I got drafted. Now, what was a 363 00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:18,359 Speaker 1: culture shock is going in with Ladinian and Philip and 364 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:23,560 Speaker 1: Gates and Jamal Williams, Loren's O'Neill Kingdom of Cardale? Are 365 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,359 Speaker 1: you walking there? With Randall Garfred Donnielwards. I'm like, oh, 366 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:30,200 Speaker 1: you know you you experienced that, but I never, um, 367 00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:34,479 Speaker 1: I never felt like I was the rookie that was inexperienced. Yeah. Man, 368 00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:38,359 Speaker 1: being around all those linebacker grades obviously helped groom you, 369 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:41,200 Speaker 1: and you did have the package. And I'm an outsider 370 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:43,920 Speaker 1: at this time. Yeah, I'm a former charger in your 371 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:47,640 Speaker 1: current charger, and I just remember you having that impact 372 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:50,560 Speaker 1: and playing similar positions. You were a linebacker, but you 373 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:53,359 Speaker 1: were a Russian for many of those plays coming off 374 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:55,440 Speaker 1: the edge, and I was like, damn, I thought I 375 00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:58,040 Speaker 1: was good at this. Dude is next level and he's young. 376 00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:01,240 Speaker 1: But then you you faced the verse having that package. 377 00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:04,040 Speaker 1: From the outside, I'm like, oh, I got caught with 378 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:08,639 Speaker 1: performance enhancing drugs. Talk to your boy, because I'm sitting 379 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:11,280 Speaker 1: on the outside, like, come on, dog, You're too good 380 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:14,200 Speaker 1: to be doing that. What was happening and what were 381 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,160 Speaker 1: you doing at that time? Yeah, So during the off 382 00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:20,879 Speaker 1: season from my first to my second year, UM, I 383 00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:24,359 Speaker 1: was taking something just from over the counter, this regular 384 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:26,840 Speaker 1: vitamin shop or whatever. And what happened was they added 385 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:30,280 Speaker 1: this on the list, right, and so every year when 386 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:32,919 Speaker 1: they used to bring in before started training camp, they 387 00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:34,920 Speaker 1: would have a new list or what I would bowl 388 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,680 Speaker 1: that thing up, man, I would put in my locker. 389 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:39,800 Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, if it ain't if it ain't steroids. 390 00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:42,560 Speaker 1: If if it you know, I'm thinking steroids, You're like 391 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:45,600 Speaker 1: injecting something in your ass. That's what I always assumed 392 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:48,240 Speaker 1: that steroids was. I didn't know that it was anything 393 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:51,480 Speaker 1: else because we don't come from that. Like I hear 394 00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:53,760 Speaker 1: about some cats and stuff that would you know, started 395 00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:56,280 Speaker 1: taking performance enhancing in high school. I'm like that we 396 00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:59,840 Speaker 1: we couldn't afford food, like, let alone buying some steroids 397 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:02,639 Speaker 1: that was out there. That was out the question to 398 00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:06,040 Speaker 1: even think like that. And so I didn't notice that 399 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,159 Speaker 1: they had put something on it when I got hit 400 00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:11,560 Speaker 1: so um right before training camp between my first and 401 00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:15,000 Speaker 1: second year that I tested right before training camp, and 402 00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:17,680 Speaker 1: it came out after the first game after we played 403 00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:20,439 Speaker 1: the Raiders. Now at this point, I've been tested almost 404 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:24,240 Speaker 1: I was testing nineteen times from my from coming in 405 00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:28,719 Speaker 1: there until that point. Nineteen times, never a problem, never 406 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:31,800 Speaker 1: anything because it wasn't on the band list. It wasn't there, 407 00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:35,040 Speaker 1: And so I got a letter right after we played 408 00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:37,320 Speaker 1: the Raiders game No. Six had a I had like 409 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:40,359 Speaker 1: four or five sacks. Monday night football killed it. I 410 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:41,919 Speaker 1: got in the locker room next day and I got 411 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:45,720 Speaker 1: the fed X in there money. So so I'm sitting 412 00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:48,520 Speaker 1: out thinking, like, damn, they find me that. Fine, don't 413 00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:50,480 Speaker 1: come to the following week. You don't you know, we 414 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:52,480 Speaker 1: don't get defined to the following week. I know that. 415 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:55,720 Speaker 1: And so I opened it and it was a letter 416 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:59,159 Speaker 1: from the NFL from Lobarti, Lobarto. Lobarti said that right, 417 00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:02,000 Speaker 1: this this you tested positive. This is this is this, 418 00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:05,439 Speaker 1: And I'm looking around and I'm thinking there's some kind 419 00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:07,720 Speaker 1: of joke or something somebody playing around, right, So I 420 00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:10,879 Speaker 1: go in there. I take the letter to James College, 421 00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:14,080 Speaker 1: the trainer, I said, I said, James, what is this? 422 00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:17,719 Speaker 1: He reads the letter, he said, UM, well you you tested. 423 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:21,520 Speaker 1: You tested positive for this, uh for this band supplementable 424 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:24,879 Speaker 1: just performance hands and or whatever. I said, um, well, okay, 425 00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:27,280 Speaker 1: what do I do? He said, you gotta talk to 426 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:28,800 Speaker 1: the NFL, you gotta talk to the AGE and I 427 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:32,080 Speaker 1: do all the stuff. Um So, anyway, I sent the 428 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:34,680 Speaker 1: list of what I was taking to the NFL and 429 00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:37,680 Speaker 1: they basically told me, he said, hey, look, you can't 430 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:40,560 Speaker 1: take this. I said, guys. He said, I made a 431 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:43,040 Speaker 1: mistake I was taking into this offseason when I was 432 00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:45,040 Speaker 1: working out and stuff. No problems. You guys test me. 433 00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:47,560 Speaker 1: We just it's on the list. Now you can't take it. 434 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,320 Speaker 1: And I said, okay, what do I do? You said, 435 00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:53,000 Speaker 1: whatever you do, you put in your body, it's on you. 436 00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:55,919 Speaker 1: I said, guys, I mean, look here it is. I'm 437 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,399 Speaker 1: showing you what it is. Don't matter. You put it 438 00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:00,879 Speaker 1: in your body and you took it. It's your fault. 439 00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:03,919 Speaker 1: So I'm initially I'm thinking that I was gonna get 440 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:07,480 Speaker 1: a a fine, right, you know, find me for whatever 441 00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:11,040 Speaker 1: and whatever whatever. And um, they said, no, no, it's 442 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,639 Speaker 1: a it's a four game suspension. I said, God, you 443 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:16,640 Speaker 1: gotta be kidding me. Here it is. It's right here. 444 00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:19,879 Speaker 1: I'm not hot anything. This is what it is. And 445 00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:24,959 Speaker 1: they told me that it doesn't matter now. Throughout that process, man, 446 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,400 Speaker 1: I didn't even really I didn't really know. I wasn't 447 00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:29,600 Speaker 1: counting that I was tested nineteen times from that and 448 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:33,200 Speaker 1: it was it was actually Roger Goodell who put that 449 00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:35,359 Speaker 1: out there in the media because he thought it was 450 00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:38,920 Speaker 1: wrong of how I was getting portrayed for that time. 451 00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:41,680 Speaker 1: He did that, he said, Sean, because he saw the 452 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:44,680 Speaker 1: media criticism. And mind you, this was a time when 453 00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:47,440 Speaker 1: like Barry Bonds the BOUTCO stuff, and I mean this 454 00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:51,720 Speaker 1: was like the heated moment of that performance enhancing era. 455 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:54,359 Speaker 1: And so I'm like, hold on, do not loop me 456 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:57,000 Speaker 1: in with no bauc and all this. I didn't. I 457 00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:59,680 Speaker 1: wouldn't say no doctors, no people like, none of that. 458 00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:01,960 Speaker 1: This is what I was doing. But I got looped 459 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:05,600 Speaker 1: in it, which is a really big deal. And so anyway, 460 00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:08,760 Speaker 1: I talked to the NFL. I realized I was gonna 461 00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:11,200 Speaker 1: have to take uh the suspension at some point in time. 462 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:13,240 Speaker 1: I peeled it just so I can talk to the 463 00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:15,240 Speaker 1: NF felt about what they were gonna do, and I 464 00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:17,080 Speaker 1: knew that there was coming and there was nothing I 465 00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:19,399 Speaker 1: can do about it, man, And that was that was 466 00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:22,200 Speaker 1: a hard time for me because what happens is when 467 00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:24,000 Speaker 1: that comes, when you get hit for something like that, 468 00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:26,720 Speaker 1: it kind of negates all your hard work and everything 469 00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:29,760 Speaker 1: you put in it because people will quickly say, oh, 470 00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:32,720 Speaker 1: that's why he was good because of this. Well, I 471 00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:34,800 Speaker 1: was all a c C in college. I was the 472 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,400 Speaker 1: number one player coming out of the d c DC Marylan, 473 00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:40,280 Speaker 1: Virginia area. You don't just come out the wound and 474 00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:42,560 Speaker 1: just go to the NFL and you become this guy. 475 00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:46,119 Speaker 1: You just don't regardless of what people say, it's just 476 00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:48,760 Speaker 1: it's don't. And and truthfully, and I'm probably sure you 477 00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:50,959 Speaker 1: know guys that were really doing it and go out 478 00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:53,320 Speaker 1: there and get slammed around, it was any good. They 479 00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:55,800 Speaker 1: were bumps, right, I mean, I've seen it, so it was. 480 00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:57,680 Speaker 1: It was a it was a difficult time for me, 481 00:23:58,119 --> 00:24:00,879 Speaker 1: um as far as because you can't do anything. It 482 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,040 Speaker 1: is what it is. You're going you you you put 483 00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:06,200 Speaker 1: yourself in that position and now you gotta deal with it. 484 00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:07,920 Speaker 1: Only thing that I was trying to do after that 485 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:09,399 Speaker 1: was go out and get back on the field and 486 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:11,240 Speaker 1: take somebody head off. I was like, that was the 487 00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:13,399 Speaker 1: only way that I could come back from this thing. 488 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:15,600 Speaker 1: And I did you know, That's why they end up 489 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:18,440 Speaker 1: making that rule because I ended up having seventeen stacks 490 00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:21,080 Speaker 1: that that year in twelve games. Um, and I was 491 00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:24,040 Speaker 1: so piste off during that time that all I wanted 492 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:27,000 Speaker 1: to do is get back on the field and proved 493 00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:29,639 Speaker 1: that hey guys, this this wasn't it that this is 494 00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:32,920 Speaker 1: this is some bs. It was a mistake and I'm 495 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:35,320 Speaker 1: not this uh, this person to make me that on 496 00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:37,800 Speaker 1: the field. Yeah. One one good thing that I did 497 00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:40,359 Speaker 1: get out of that UM during that time. It was 498 00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:43,920 Speaker 1: it was around Hurricane Katrina, and so during my suspension, 499 00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:45,720 Speaker 1: I want to go stay in New Orleans and I 500 00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:47,760 Speaker 1: was helping your rebuild, Holmes, and I was down and 501 00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:50,560 Speaker 1: I got a chance to see that UM, and I 502 00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:52,480 Speaker 1: kind of I had to get myself away because you 503 00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:55,320 Speaker 1: can't go to the facility when you out that whole time, 504 00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:57,040 Speaker 1: You can't go around the team. You can't do so 505 00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:59,240 Speaker 1: now you're just an outcast and looking at everything and 506 00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:02,239 Speaker 1: you can't talk to body. Nobody want to talk to you. UM. 507 00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:03,840 Speaker 1: So that was really the only good thing that came 508 00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:06,360 Speaker 1: out of that. Everything else Man about that suck man. 509 00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:08,920 Speaker 1: I don't know how many interviews you've done over the years, 510 00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:11,399 Speaker 1: probably a million, But you had to get that off 511 00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:14,240 Speaker 1: your chest. It sounds like merriment because you broke that down. 512 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:17,560 Speaker 1: And it's funny because we're football players and obviously our 513 00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:20,359 Speaker 1: default is being tough. And I heard you, in the 514 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:24,000 Speaker 1: middle of responding to the questions say it was a 515 00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:27,399 Speaker 1: difficult time but you kept going. But how difficult was it? 516 00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:31,680 Speaker 1: Because remember the perception of you instantly changed. Even with me, 517 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:34,040 Speaker 1: I was like Merriments a baller. God, he's better than me. 518 00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:37,200 Speaker 1: He's a piece. Oh he's on steroids. Forget that. If 519 00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:39,439 Speaker 1: I were on steroids, I would have been better than Merriment. 520 00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:42,840 Speaker 1: How did you deal with that that night and day 521 00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:46,400 Speaker 1: perception change about who you were as a player. Yeah, 522 00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,440 Speaker 1: you have to. And that says because mind you. I 523 00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:51,480 Speaker 1: used to see some guys I'm like, dude, that dude 524 00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:54,640 Speaker 1: on something. I would say. I would say that myself 525 00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:57,960 Speaker 1: until I got hit. I was like, man, you see 526 00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,920 Speaker 1: somebody to look crazy and just look like a freakish athlete. 527 00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:03,199 Speaker 1: The first thing I would say, I was like, man, 528 00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:05,800 Speaker 1: that dude gotta be on something, and not knowing, you know, 529 00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:08,800 Speaker 1: I get it, and that comes out everybody, that dude 530 00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:11,600 Speaker 1: on something, and I'm like, God, damn, that's it. But 531 00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:14,680 Speaker 1: as tough as that was at that time, I always 532 00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:17,399 Speaker 1: remember myself sleep in the back of that car, or 533 00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:21,240 Speaker 1: being in that shelter, or that eviction notice on your door, 534 00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:24,040 Speaker 1: coming back and seeing your house burnt. Like my my 535 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:29,040 Speaker 1: perception of what a bad situation was totally different as 536 00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:31,680 Speaker 1: an athlete. That definitely put a stain in the black 537 00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:36,000 Speaker 1: eye m on my career and what I've done. But 538 00:26:36,119 --> 00:26:38,000 Speaker 1: in a grand scheme of things, man, I was like, 539 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:41,880 Speaker 1: uh not, nothing's worse to knowing that where you where 540 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:45,040 Speaker 1: you're gonna live, you know, if you're gonna eat today, Like, 541 00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:47,399 Speaker 1: nothing's worse than that. You know, I can, I can 542 00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:49,920 Speaker 1: pay my you know, miss my four games paid this fine, 543 00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:51,639 Speaker 1: do whatever you need to do, get back on the 544 00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:54,840 Speaker 1: field and continue to do my thing. But that's if 545 00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:58,320 Speaker 1: nothing was worse than that. Yeah, those experiences that upbringing 546 00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:03,160 Speaker 1: those conditions built you up, so you can handle those situations. 547 00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:06,480 Speaker 1: But your body start breaking down. Look, I'm the same 548 00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:09,680 Speaker 1: guy brother in my prime, I was robbed of it 549 00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:12,280 Speaker 1: because of injury. Talk about the fact that you had 550 00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:16,000 Speaker 1: that validation of seventeen sacks in twelve games. See I'm 551 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:18,320 Speaker 1: not on steroids. Look, you can't do that if I 552 00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:22,320 Speaker 1: were on it. But then you couldn't support that fully. 553 00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:25,560 Speaker 1: You kept breaking down and the injury started to pile up. Yeah, 554 00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:28,120 Speaker 1: I mean that following Yeah, I was all pro too. 555 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:30,399 Speaker 1: I mean, I you know, had double diges sacks and 556 00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:32,920 Speaker 1: things like that, but um, you know, we played in 557 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:35,520 Speaker 1: the Tennessee game, and you know, I was targeted man 558 00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:39,480 Speaker 1: by Kevin Maway and the other left tackle Stewart, and 559 00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:42,040 Speaker 1: they came after me because they thought that I hit 560 00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:45,000 Speaker 1: Vince Young, who was my boy at the time. And 561 00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:47,399 Speaker 1: the very next player two they came after me and 562 00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:50,320 Speaker 1: popped I popped my knee. I heard they both five 563 00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:52,520 Speaker 1: yards away from the play. I think that it might 564 00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:54,360 Speaker 1: be somewhere on YouTube if people want to go check 565 00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:56,520 Speaker 1: that out me. But you know, everybody knows about what 566 00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:59,720 Speaker 1: happened at least um. And I popped my knee, and 567 00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:02,000 Speaker 1: then from that point on, it was just never the same, 568 00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:04,840 Speaker 1: right as I told my kneed the first time. I 569 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:08,760 Speaker 1: never had a big knee injury where I missed anything. Um, 570 00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:11,600 Speaker 1: you know, I came back that that after like a 571 00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:13,800 Speaker 1: game or two later, and uh, you know, I end 572 00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:16,119 Speaker 1: up going to Pro Bowl that year and all Pro 573 00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:20,119 Speaker 1: but I was barely hanging on by by a thread. Man, 574 00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:22,400 Speaker 1: I was hanging on by three. And then I came back, 575 00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:25,800 Speaker 1: rushed it back, started compensate, and I tore my achilles 576 00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:29,399 Speaker 1: and ultimately the knee, the knee I came back from 577 00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:32,119 Speaker 1: and I felt like I was you know, nine percent 578 00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:36,199 Speaker 1: of myself, maybe of myself still it was Achilles when 579 00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:40,440 Speaker 1: I told that that that was it. I became. I 580 00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:43,600 Speaker 1: was out there hobbling around and trying to just I would. 581 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:45,200 Speaker 1: At that point, I was just trying to stay in 582 00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:47,760 Speaker 1: the league. I mean, at that point, I was just 583 00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:51,320 Speaker 1: trying to stay out there and and mentally keep with it. 584 00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:54,640 Speaker 1: But I knew that I wasn't the same guy anymore. Yeah, man, 585 00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:58,400 Speaker 1: you're just taking me back to those days where you're 586 00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:02,760 Speaker 1: battling the retirement versation, knowing that you're better than some, 587 00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:05,960 Speaker 1: if not many players still out there, but you're never 588 00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:09,960 Speaker 1: as good as you know you can be. Talk about 589 00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:12,960 Speaker 1: that moment where you're like, oh, the best merriment is 590 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:15,320 Speaker 1: probably behind me. What do I do next? Well, the 591 00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:17,240 Speaker 1: truth of the matter is we're the We're the last 592 00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:20,480 Speaker 1: ones to know we need to retire, right like we're 593 00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:22,840 Speaker 1: the last one. Everybody else looking like, hey man, you 594 00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:25,320 Speaker 1: need to get your assip out of there. And for 595 00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:30,080 Speaker 1: us because physically athletically we're we're at the top of 596 00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:32,200 Speaker 1: the food chain when it comes everything. But what takes 597 00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:35,239 Speaker 1: the great athletes and what all we do is our 598 00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:38,720 Speaker 1: mental aspect of going higher. And doing more and pushing 599 00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:42,680 Speaker 1: ourselves more than everybody else. And so our mental is 600 00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:45,760 Speaker 1: still telling us we could do it. Our body is 601 00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:50,000 Speaker 1: telling us, no, you can't. And so it took me 602 00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:52,440 Speaker 1: a little bit to come to grips. And now I 603 00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:55,040 Speaker 1: still played. I played no can Buffalo. I wasn't a bomb, 604 00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:57,480 Speaker 1: but I just I wasn't even close to where I was, 605 00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:01,640 Speaker 1: um but was. It was a point of I lost 606 00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:05,240 Speaker 1: the explosion. I couldn't be consistently a game changer. That 607 00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:08,880 Speaker 1: part of me was gone. And so you have to 608 00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:12,320 Speaker 1: come to grips, uh that you can't do some of 609 00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:15,080 Speaker 1: the things you you used to do anymore. And that 610 00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:18,800 Speaker 1: is the biggest punch out of everything. I started watching film. 611 00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:21,440 Speaker 1: I remember playing Cincinnati one game and I was like, 612 00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:23,560 Speaker 1: this tackle was blocking the hell out of me. And 613 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:25,400 Speaker 1: I said, this is three years ago, dude, I would 614 00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:27,920 Speaker 1: I would have cared three full stacks one year. I 615 00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:30,239 Speaker 1: would have come on, I would have friged you by now. 616 00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:33,960 Speaker 1: And it got to a point where I'm like, I 617 00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:36,680 Speaker 1: knew it was time. And I remember going to the 618 00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:39,400 Speaker 1: g M Doug Doug Welly, the GM at the time 619 00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:42,040 Speaker 1: for Buffalo, and so I basically told him you know, 620 00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:44,480 Speaker 1: I don't know. I might be going after this year. 621 00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:47,000 Speaker 1: I said, I'm coming back, but then again, it might 622 00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:49,560 Speaker 1: be a chance that I might be, you know, wrapping 623 00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:51,640 Speaker 1: it up. That might be done at that point. Man, 624 00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:54,160 Speaker 1: it's like, hey, you go to another team, you try to. 625 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:58,200 Speaker 1: I couldn't do the three four teams and stuff. I don't. 626 00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:00,280 Speaker 1: I didn't have that in me to do. Man, what's 627 00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:04,680 Speaker 1: wrong with that merriment I did for Yeah, so I 628 00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:07,040 Speaker 1: think for for everybody else, that was it. But I 629 00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:09,800 Speaker 1: felt like I had Um, I had bigger things to do. 630 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,480 Speaker 1: That was going to you know, prohibit me from growing 631 00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:15,360 Speaker 1: the brand and moving on at the at the place 632 00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:18,640 Speaker 1: that I wanted to. And that was That was was 633 00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:20,520 Speaker 1: why my aug I could have came back, played another 634 00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:22,120 Speaker 1: year two, I would have been, you know, a guy 635 00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:24,720 Speaker 1: in the field and doing stuff or whatever. Um the 636 00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:26,760 Speaker 1: buff the Bills offered for me to come back. They 637 00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:28,600 Speaker 1: offered me and another deal to come back. They wanted 638 00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:31,960 Speaker 1: me to come back, but I started looking at the 639 00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:35,840 Speaker 1: minimum right, the minimum salary. What you're doing, don't don't 640 00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:37,680 Speaker 1: get wrong, which is great money, I don't care how 641 00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:41,000 Speaker 1: you look at it. Great money, but taxes this you're 642 00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:43,400 Speaker 1: you're stuck somewhere seven months. You can't go and sit 643 00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:47,000 Speaker 1: down at any meetings or all the sacrifices that you make. 644 00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:49,520 Speaker 1: And I said, what am I really sacrifice? And you know, 645 00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:52,160 Speaker 1: six hundred and fifty dollars for Yeah, man, I said, 646 00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:54,520 Speaker 1: it's not it's not worth it for me. I had 647 00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:56,480 Speaker 1: a parallel story, brother. Let me tell you when I 648 00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:59,000 Speaker 1: was playing my last year in Jacksonville. One of my 649 00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:02,280 Speaker 1: four teams, the Merriment would have never played for four teams. Uh, 650 00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:05,760 Speaker 1: I'm out there, dog, This young tackle was blocking the 651 00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:07,840 Speaker 1: hell out of me like you saw. But this happening 652 00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:11,880 Speaker 1: live time, Prime time, And I'm walking back to the 653 00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:16,040 Speaker 1: huddle after getting just almost pancakes and the kids screams out, 654 00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:19,480 Speaker 1: Damn Wiley, what happened to you? I grew up watching you. 655 00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:23,160 Speaker 1: You fell off, and Bro, I looked at myself in 656 00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:25,680 Speaker 1: the mirror that I wasn't in front of and said, hey, bro, 657 00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:30,080 Speaker 1: it's about the end quickly, oh me. Man, But you 658 00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:33,040 Speaker 1: you're smart because you were not just a baller, but 659 00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:36,320 Speaker 1: you were a brand. And now that brand, lights out 660 00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:39,240 Speaker 1: is doing amazing things in terms of business adventures. Talk 661 00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:41,680 Speaker 1: to me about the Lightstyle brand. Yeah, so Lights Out 662 00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:46,080 Speaker 1: Extreme Fighting. UM we're currently on Footboat Football TV. Football Sports. 663 00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:49,800 Speaker 1: We just actually I just uh got an extra year, 664 00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:53,880 Speaker 1: so we'll be on that all on Football TV UM 665 00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:56,440 Speaker 1: which has been a great partner man, and I'm looking 666 00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:59,920 Speaker 1: to to grow the brand through football and great relation 667 00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:02,280 Speaker 1: ships there and we got some big stuff coming also 668 00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:06,080 Speaker 1: our next fight of December seventeenth and Riverside, California, one 669 00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:08,280 Speaker 1: of the Live Nations buildings out there. And so you know, 670 00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:10,040 Speaker 1: I really got on that side and I started training 671 00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:13,920 Speaker 1: and it may surprisingly enough, while I was playing, UM 672 00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:16,400 Speaker 1: I saw that my first off season doing and I 673 00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:18,120 Speaker 1: just thought I was gonna get into it and you know, 674 00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:21,600 Speaker 1: work my hand, eye coordination and agility be able to 675 00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:23,800 Speaker 1: open up my hips and get better with football, and 676 00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:26,400 Speaker 1: I fell in love to sport. And so over the 677 00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:29,880 Speaker 1: years I started to spend more time doing you know, 678 00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:31,880 Speaker 1: M and A stuff over the years, and in two 679 00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:35,880 Speaker 1: thousand and eighteen, I launched Lightside Extreme Fighting initially on 680 00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:40,040 Speaker 1: on Fox Sports Regionals and then UM we we had 681 00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:42,480 Speaker 1: a great partnership with Football Man, so you know, we're 682 00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:45,920 Speaker 1: looking to really just grow that grow the brand, working 683 00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:47,880 Speaker 1: with Foobo and all this text stuff that we're doing 684 00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:50,800 Speaker 1: and and just it's a fun thing, man, because all 685 00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:52,880 Speaker 1: your and I'm sure you've been to this thing where 686 00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:55,680 Speaker 1: you have all these great ideas you could do all 687 00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:57,440 Speaker 1: this stuff, and you can't pull the trigger because it 688 00:33:57,480 --> 00:34:01,040 Speaker 1: ain't yours, right, And so like now, I spend time 689 00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:03,680 Speaker 1: with my writers, my tech guys, developers, and I'm like, man, 690 00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:05,360 Speaker 1: I want to do this. I want to do and 691 00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:07,840 Speaker 1: then all these crazy ideas of mind everybody around me, 692 00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:10,160 Speaker 1: my team formulates it and put it down and make 693 00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:12,920 Speaker 1: it happen um. And so that's probably the funnest thing 694 00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:16,120 Speaker 1: about this business. Man. What a duality, What a what 695 00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:19,520 Speaker 1: a great existence, because it's funny you created a brand 696 00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:22,520 Speaker 1: and it was actually created off of you just bawling 697 00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:26,240 Speaker 1: and becoming lights out is gonna live a lot longer 698 00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:29,120 Speaker 1: than obviously the plays you can make on the football field. 699 00:34:29,719 --> 00:34:32,360 Speaker 1: Someone asked me this question about you before, and I 700 00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:35,160 Speaker 1: was like, oh, that's an interesting question. How does Sean 701 00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:41,240 Speaker 1: Merriman perceive himself as a better baller or a bigger brand? 702 00:34:41,719 --> 00:34:44,600 Speaker 1: I said, a bigger brand. And the reason why I 703 00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:47,640 Speaker 1: say that because in two thousand and six I bought 704 00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:50,560 Speaker 1: the name and rights in trademarks for lights off from 705 00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:53,000 Speaker 1: another company called p J. Salvage, a big company out 706 00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:55,799 Speaker 1: of Irvine. So I bought that No. Six from them, 707 00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:59,120 Speaker 1: and I started to create it um and so in 708 00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:01,200 Speaker 1: a sense, it aim this character in the field, the 709 00:35:01,239 --> 00:35:04,280 Speaker 1: blue mohawk and you know, hitting everybody and sack dance 710 00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:06,719 Speaker 1: and all this stuff. So it I just knew it 711 00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:09,279 Speaker 1: was to be something way bigger than I ever could 712 00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:11,600 Speaker 1: be on the field. Right. We all know that time 713 00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:14,279 Speaker 1: and when you play eight years, eighteen years, it's still 714 00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:17,320 Speaker 1: such a short part of your life. And one of 715 00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:19,680 Speaker 1: the hardest things to do out here is building a brand, 716 00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:22,640 Speaker 1: because when you build a brand, brand stay around a 717 00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:24,960 Speaker 1: lot longer than I'll probably be breathing there out here, 718 00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:27,839 Speaker 1: especially when you breathe it when you build it right, 719 00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:30,200 Speaker 1: And I look at everybody, include yourself, man, you know, 720 00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:32,719 Speaker 1: I applaud you for this, your longevity and just being 721 00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:35,360 Speaker 1: in media and do all this stuff, because people understand 722 00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:37,759 Speaker 1: it's really hard, really easy to do something great for 723 00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:40,640 Speaker 1: a short period of time. But when you build something 724 00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:43,880 Speaker 1: so sustainable and it takes you a decade plus to do, 725 00:35:44,719 --> 00:35:48,680 Speaker 1: it'll be around for three decades, four decades, And and 726 00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:52,320 Speaker 1: that to me the ultimate goal and picture, um, and 727 00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:55,319 Speaker 1: how you build something for the longevity. So as much 728 00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:58,480 Speaker 1: as I love playing football, I think that football is 729 00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:02,719 Speaker 1: a God created a sport because everybody can't do it. Um. 730 00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:06,320 Speaker 1: But also in the in the sense, you know what 731 00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:09,080 Speaker 1: I'm doing down building a brand. You know this thing is. 732 00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:11,320 Speaker 1: You know it's gonna be the Walt Disney and Sports 733 00:36:11,719 --> 00:36:13,600 Speaker 1: lights hoide will be the Walt Disney and Sports. And 734 00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:15,920 Speaker 1: I'm currently actively doing it. And that's where you know, 735 00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:18,520 Speaker 1: fourteen hours of my day go seven days a week. 736 00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:23,120 Speaker 1: That's called commitment, man, And way to professor brother speaking 737 00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:27,000 Speaker 1: into existence. Man, Well, we gotta finish up with some fun, 738 00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:31,080 Speaker 1: some lighthearted questions, real quick little lights out in or 739 00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:35,080 Speaker 1: out on these topics right now? In or out? And 740 00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:38,200 Speaker 1: why let's start off with the NFL rules on hitting. 741 00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:41,480 Speaker 1: You're in or out on these surprisedly I'm in, man, 742 00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:45,520 Speaker 1: I'm in, I'm in, I'm in. Um. You know, I 743 00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:47,520 Speaker 1: got my nickname, and it was a time that it 744 00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:50,600 Speaker 1: was encouraged, and it was a time that you needed 745 00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:52,000 Speaker 1: to play that way and how we grew up and 746 00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:56,239 Speaker 1: playing the game. Um, now that we know the ramifications 747 00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:58,719 Speaker 1: of playing that way, I'm glad that they're just they're 748 00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:00,880 Speaker 1: taking care of guys. Love. I love that. Talk to 749 00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:06,200 Speaker 1: me about Connor McGregor in or out, Mr Marshall artists 750 00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:09,920 Speaker 1: and I mean and and the reason why is, Uh, 751 00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:13,560 Speaker 1: you need guys like that of the sport. And there's 752 00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:17,600 Speaker 1: no better marketer in in all of combat sports than 753 00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:20,759 Speaker 1: Connor was. I mean, there's no better marketer. You know, 754 00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:25,160 Speaker 1: his mouthpiece, his entertainment, even if he's not the same fighter. 755 00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:26,920 Speaker 1: I mean when he broke his leg and still talking 756 00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,880 Speaker 1: trash about somebody else's wife and occasion that that to 757 00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:32,360 Speaker 1: me is the all time promotion. You're sitting there, your 758 00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:36,560 Speaker 1: bonus is crooked, you're broken, and you find a way 759 00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:39,200 Speaker 1: to to just be more entertaining. And that's what the 760 00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:41,759 Speaker 1: sport is about. And you give the fans what they're 761 00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:44,279 Speaker 1: looking for. And he built the brand that's gonna last 762 00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:47,000 Speaker 1: a lot longer than those matches. Speak on it. The 763 00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:49,879 Speaker 1: last one, we just saw each other as so Far 764 00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:53,560 Speaker 1: Stadium for the Chargers Legends weekend and one of our 765 00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:57,439 Speaker 1: former teammates, Jamal Williams, was inducted into the Chargers Wall 766 00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:03,680 Speaker 1: of Fame. Sean Merriment lights Out inducted into the Wall 767 00:38:03,719 --> 00:38:08,799 Speaker 1: of Fame of the Chargers in or out. Um, that's tough, man, 768 00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:11,239 Speaker 1: That's that's tough. That's why I asked. That's why I asked. 769 00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:13,960 Speaker 1: I'm gonna say in first, I'll say that. I'll say in. 770 00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:18,600 Speaker 1: But it's a tough answer for me because I believe 771 00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:21,839 Speaker 1: in longevity. And so no't matter what I feel about 772 00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:24,480 Speaker 1: my time period or be being exciting in that short 773 00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:26,440 Speaker 1: period of time, or what I was, what I accomplished, 774 00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:29,200 Speaker 1: or what I could have done if I was healthy, 775 00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:33,040 Speaker 1: I didn't. And so you know, while I say, yeah, 776 00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:35,200 Speaker 1: if I was healthy three more years, I probably would 777 00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:37,480 Speaker 1: have been got a gold jacket. I probably did this. 778 00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:39,520 Speaker 1: I probably did that. If I was healthy, healthy couple 779 00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:41,520 Speaker 1: more years, it didn't happen. Um. And I take this 780 00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:43,839 Speaker 1: back to what Prime said that you know, Dion Santa 781 00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:45,160 Speaker 1: said about people being in the Hall of Fame, it 782 00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:48,239 Speaker 1: shouldn't be there. I agree with that, Um, because it's 783 00:38:48,239 --> 00:38:50,799 Speaker 1: about longevity. It's about putting up numbers for a long 784 00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:53,160 Speaker 1: period of time. Now, yeah, it was I excited, was 785 00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:55,680 Speaker 1: I you know, explosive? You know, did I have the 786 00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:59,520 Speaker 1: NFL on their heels at one point? Absolutely? But it's 787 00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:03,400 Speaker 1: it's a about longevity, and that's how you classify somebody 788 00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:06,040 Speaker 1: in and out. But and as far as the impact 789 00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:08,400 Speaker 1: I had with the city and the team and stuff 790 00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:11,120 Speaker 1: like that, and my teammates and what I created during 791 00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:13,960 Speaker 1: that time period, that's what I'm saying in Man, this 792 00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:17,520 Speaker 1: has been a great experience, man, because reading about your 793 00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:21,799 Speaker 1: upbringing and knowing you no matter what was throwing your way, 794 00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:24,960 Speaker 1: no matter what you had to face and endure, there's 795 00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:30,160 Speaker 1: a positive result, positive response that always comes from Seawan Merriman, man. 796 00:39:30,719 --> 00:39:34,000 Speaker 1: And that's truly the mark of great character, and that 797 00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:36,480 Speaker 1: no matter what you put yourself into, no matter what 798 00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:38,879 Speaker 1: comes your way, you're gonna come out on the other 799 00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:41,799 Speaker 1: end a better person. Forward man, much respect to your 800 00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:43,880 Speaker 1: life style. I appreciate your brother for doing this for me. 801 00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:46,839 Speaker 1: My due appreciate you having on man. Thanks my dog. 802 00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:55,680 Speaker 1: That's gonna do it. For More to It, check the 803 00:39:55,719 --> 00:39:58,239 Speaker 1: show notes for all the information on our guests and 804 00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:02,719 Speaker 1: topics today. To keep the conversation going, let's talk. You 805 00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:06,319 Speaker 1: can find me on all socials that Marcellus Wiley. More 806 00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:09,120 Speaker 1: to It is brought to you by Dan Patrick Productions, 807 00:40:09,280 --> 00:40:13,440 Speaker 1: That Dude Entertainment, Workhouse Media and Jam Street Media. The 808 00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:18,120 Speaker 1: show is executive produced by Dan Patrick, Marcellus Wiley, Paul Anderson, 809 00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:22,640 Speaker 1: Nick Panella, and Maddie Stout. I'm Marcellus Wiley. Thanks for 810 00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:26,719 Speaker 1: listening and thanks for those reviews. They help. There's more 811 00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:29,399 Speaker 1: coming from More to It. Talk to you next week.