1 00:00:01,840 --> 00:00:07,960 Speaker 1: Wind Down and I'm her radio podcast. Hey guys, welcome 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,920 Speaker 1: to another episode of wine Down. I'm so excited, said 3 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:17,599 Speaker 1: no one ever. That's such a trigger because that song bombed, 4 00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:22,599 Speaker 1: said no one ever. It's still a fun song. Yeah. Um, 5 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:25,560 Speaker 1: we have an interesting podcast today. By the way, that 6 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:29,680 Speaker 1: was an interesting start. We can cut it. I was 7 00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:32,640 Speaker 1: just trying to get it to give you something. Um, 8 00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:37,040 Speaker 1: we have an interesting podcast today. We have Rachel you 9 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:42,599 Speaker 1: could tell on today. Um, she is one of tigers 10 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:47,880 Speaker 1: and mistresses Tiger Woods. Yes, I feel like he comments 11 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:51,080 Speaker 1: like a one nam or. It's like Oprah. You never know. 12 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:57,920 Speaker 1: Our listeners are primarily the other tiger our our listeners 13 00:00:57,920 --> 00:01:02,240 Speaker 1: are primarily female. Who's the other tiger? Was King? Okay, yeah, 14 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:07,959 Speaker 1: see exactly there's the only one tiger Tiger King. Who's that? Oh? 15 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:15,160 Speaker 1: I mean I would say, who's the what's the guy's name? Jo? Exotic? Um? 16 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:21,960 Speaker 1: But anyways, so this is going to be interesting. I yeah, 17 00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:26,560 Speaker 1: all right, here's the scoop. This is gonna suck for 18 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:32,360 Speaker 1: Jane and I. It's gonna be triggering, it's going to 19 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:41,000 Speaker 1: be uncomfortable, but y'all love that. So you're welcome. You're 20 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:43,119 Speaker 1: welcome and no, So we're gonna talk to her. We're 21 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:45,840 Speaker 1: gonna ask you some questions that might even make you, 22 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:48,600 Speaker 1: as a listener, squirm. It's gonna sure as he'll make 23 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:52,000 Speaker 1: us squirm. Um. But you know, I here's the thing is, 24 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:55,120 Speaker 1: at the end of the at the end of the day, 25 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:57,280 Speaker 1: Janna and I know we're in a better place now 26 00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:01,000 Speaker 1: than we have been for years in the past, and 27 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:04,640 Speaker 1: we're going to still be professional about it and address 28 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:08,480 Speaker 1: address things and you know, make the most of it 29 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:13,800 Speaker 1: just for you know, a learning situation for all of us. Yeah, 30 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:17,800 Speaker 1: I mean, I yeah, I mean it's it stinks because 31 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:22,480 Speaker 1: of course things come up and things. It's and I 32 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:23,919 Speaker 1: think one of the things that I have a hard 33 00:02:23,919 --> 00:02:25,560 Speaker 1: time with is like, oh, why are we you know, 34 00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:28,920 Speaker 1: dragging Mike through the mud again or bringing it back up. 35 00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:31,280 Speaker 1: But it's like, this is this is our story. Unfortunately, 36 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:32,800 Speaker 1: this one's going to bring up our story a little 37 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:36,680 Speaker 1: bit more. Um. But it just it sucks for both 38 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:39,760 Speaker 1: of us, sucks for you, it sucks for me. Um. 39 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:45,680 Speaker 1: But I feel like it's interesting because I remember I 40 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:48,160 Speaker 1: had a conversation since we're going there, let's just go 41 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 1: there completely. I had a conversation with one of your 42 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:56,720 Speaker 1: fair girls, And I remember asking her, did you not 43 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:59,600 Speaker 1: even think about me? Like even after you found out 44 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:01,920 Speaker 1: who I was and I was pregnant and I was married, 45 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:05,360 Speaker 1: like you didn't like And that's my that's my issue 46 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:09,040 Speaker 1: with girls like Rachel, did you not think of me? 47 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:14,160 Speaker 1: The wife? And like how that would gut me? Like 48 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:19,760 Speaker 1: I understand, no, I know, And it's the same thing 49 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,000 Speaker 1: for the husband, like why didn't you think of me too? 50 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:23,600 Speaker 1: You know, I know it's two people to tango and 51 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:27,079 Speaker 1: it's not just her fault, and it's not just Tiger's fault, 52 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:30,600 Speaker 1: it's both of them. You know, it's equally their faults. 53 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:35,560 Speaker 1: But you know, I know that's the same question, like 54 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:37,520 Speaker 1: why wouldn't you think of me? But then the woman too, 55 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:41,120 Speaker 1: I'm like, you're a woman, Like don't you know that 56 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:45,040 Speaker 1: you're killing another woman right now? What do you think 57 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:47,320 Speaker 1: my st mark coming on? Well, I feel like there 58 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:49,720 Speaker 1: is a tendency sometimes and I'm not sure what the 59 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:52,200 Speaker 1: psychological element that this is, but it does seem to 60 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:55,119 Speaker 1: be a tendency to blame the woman almost more than 61 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:57,080 Speaker 1: the man in some of these situations. I'm not talking 62 00:03:57,120 --> 00:04:01,920 Speaker 1: about your situation specifically, but does seem like she she 63 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:05,880 Speaker 1: receives the ire, the the real anger goes to her 64 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:08,480 Speaker 1: where he's just a dumb guy who did a stupid thing. 65 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:11,440 Speaker 1: But women need to stick together. How can they betray 66 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:14,640 Speaker 1: each other like that? No, I totally hear you on that. 67 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:19,080 Speaker 1: I mean, I I feel like I equally um killed 68 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:22,720 Speaker 1: both of you in the situation. But um, no, I 69 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:26,520 Speaker 1: do think the woman gets a bad a worserain name. 70 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:30,279 Speaker 1: I mean, Tiger can move on and he can go 71 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,880 Speaker 1: to winning championships again, and this girl has the scarlet 72 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:39,880 Speaker 1: letter UM on her, So that that sucks, I think 73 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:44,360 Speaker 1: as a as a woman. But um, you know, I 74 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:45,880 Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know why. Like I mean, 75 00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:50,640 Speaker 1: I know, I remember obviously getting upset with you, but 76 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:54,239 Speaker 1: when I talked to your one affair, it's like that's 77 00:04:54,279 --> 00:04:56,480 Speaker 1: just what I couldn't understand because I'm just like I 78 00:04:56,839 --> 00:05:00,800 Speaker 1: wanted her to say that she did think of me, 79 00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:04,360 Speaker 1: that she did feel sorry, you know, and I don't 80 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:09,560 Speaker 1: know if there's the empathy there, you know, and it 81 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:12,240 Speaker 1: felt like such a so I don't know. So I 82 00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:17,000 Speaker 1: remember leaving that conversation and just hating how that conversation went. 83 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:19,839 Speaker 1: And so that's where I feel like it might come 84 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:22,800 Speaker 1: up super triggering for me because it's just she represents 85 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:26,680 Speaker 1: all the women that I was like, you know, but 86 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,840 Speaker 1: I hate that. You know, I've had to work past 87 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:29,920 Speaker 1: and I know at the end of the day, it 88 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:36,000 Speaker 1: has nothing to do with you know, me, or it's 89 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:43,400 Speaker 1: just it's just a situation. But yeah, I was just 90 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:46,599 Speaker 1: gonna say, you know, it's I can totally understand that, 91 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:52,239 Speaker 1: like because women, you know, there is that that almost 92 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:59,760 Speaker 1: expectation of women unity, unity against you know, against men 93 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:01,760 Speaker 1: getting you know, we gotta have each other's back and 94 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:06,120 Speaker 1: all that, and and a guy doing is just an 95 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:12,279 Speaker 1: asshole doing it. And you know, I think the minder 96 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:15,400 Speaker 1: that I have is just being someone in that situation, 97 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:18,719 Speaker 1: whether it mail or whether it's the woman or the male, 98 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:23,520 Speaker 1: neither one of them are thinking about anybody else. Infidelity 99 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:27,000 Speaker 1: is a selfish act being with someone who's taken as 100 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:31,719 Speaker 1: a selfish act. So it's you know that questions asked 101 00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:33,720 Speaker 1: like how could you not think of the wife? How 102 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:36,400 Speaker 1: could you not think of of his kids or whatever? Well, 103 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:40,800 Speaker 1: the truth is they're not because they're thinking selfishly, whether 104 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:46,240 Speaker 1: for their own needs or because the person that they're 105 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:50,039 Speaker 1: doing it with has painted a different picture than the 106 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:53,920 Speaker 1: actual reality right where the husband and the wife is like, 107 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:57,640 Speaker 1: oh no, I'm we're separated or I'm leaving them, or no, no, 108 00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:01,640 Speaker 1: we're basically divorced, and when really at home that you 109 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:05,760 Speaker 1: would think the complete opposite. So it's it's all just 110 00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:12,400 Speaker 1: it's selfish acts, manipulation, manipulation and selfishness, which I mean 111 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:16,240 Speaker 1: is unfortunate. Did you say to them where we were 112 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:19,080 Speaker 1: at like, did you say to them, oh, we're on 113 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:29,760 Speaker 1: the brink of a divorce or when I was pregnant? Ah, 114 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:35,720 Speaker 1: I don't remember. I don't think I ever said anything 115 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:44,120 Speaker 1: like that because I have my own addictive, selfish reasons 116 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:49,200 Speaker 1: I was doing things. But so, yeah, we were you 117 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:52,560 Speaker 1: gonna say, Mark, I was gonna ask about that conversation. 118 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:56,920 Speaker 1: Did she defend herself? Um? Did she was she? Um? 119 00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:00,640 Speaker 1: Did she regret her actions? She can try? Right? What 120 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:11,760 Speaker 1: was her kind of general demeanor? Defensive? She one that 121 00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:16,840 Speaker 1: I talked to was just like so sorry. And then 122 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:20,160 Speaker 1: the one other girl I talked to was who was 123 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:25,800 Speaker 1: affected me the most because it was more times she 124 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:29,880 Speaker 1: she didn't seem apologetic and it really really really upset me. 125 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:34,800 Speaker 1: I wanted her to be. I wanted to feel her apology, 126 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,560 Speaker 1: you know, and I didn't feel like she wasn't She 127 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,959 Speaker 1: didn't even cry like she she was just like, I mean, 128 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,160 Speaker 1: I knew you were pregnant, and I knew, like you know, 129 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:45,000 Speaker 1: but like it wasn't anything. And I'm like, you can't 130 00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:50,679 Speaker 1: say it wasn't anything like that's just say you're sorry, 131 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:54,199 Speaker 1: like show some empathy or something, you know. And granted, 132 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:57,599 Speaker 1: was I nice, No, you know, I was angry and 133 00:08:57,640 --> 00:08:59,520 Speaker 1: I was mean and I said some really mean things. 134 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:05,320 Speaker 1: I can own that, and but I think I was 135 00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:08,800 Speaker 1: getting angry because I wasn't getting any empathy. It was 136 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:13,880 Speaker 1: just like just I don't even remember her even saying sorry. 137 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:18,120 Speaker 1: And I think maybe that Han and me made it 138 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:26,520 Speaker 1: worse because yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't. I don't know. 139 00:09:26,559 --> 00:09:30,320 Speaker 1: I mean, she just kind of blamed it on things, 140 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:31,959 Speaker 1: and I'm like, again, I don't want to hear your story. 141 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:34,800 Speaker 1: I just want you to say you're sorry. That's it. 142 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,280 Speaker 1: I just need you to say you're sorry. And probably 143 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:38,959 Speaker 1: the sorry one wouldn't have done anything for me in 144 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:42,560 Speaker 1: the moment, but feeling like her sorry would have probably 145 00:09:42,559 --> 00:09:46,000 Speaker 1: helped me here a little bit, because I know it 146 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:52,560 Speaker 1: wasn't just on her. I totally get that. But yeah, 147 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,240 Speaker 1: I mean I have to commend you too for doing this, 148 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:58,280 Speaker 1: for going through this, for doing this interview, for sitting 149 00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:00,400 Speaker 1: here for an hour. I mean, this is can just 150 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:02,840 Speaker 1: Mike's body language. I mean, I know this is brutal 151 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:06,439 Speaker 1: for both of you. I hope it's helpful for people 152 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,040 Speaker 1: because I can tell you guys are really going to 153 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:16,400 Speaker 1: struggle through this today. I appreciate it. And yeah, so 154 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:19,880 Speaker 1: but again we'll make the most of it so people 155 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:26,439 Speaker 1: can hopefully benefit from it because this is you know, yeah, 156 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,559 Speaker 1: I just think the best thing is to remember is 157 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:31,600 Speaker 1: like where we're at now, you know. But those you know, 158 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:35,920 Speaker 1: those memories are they're deep, and they're down in the 159 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:39,520 Speaker 1: depths of it, you know. So it's I think that's 160 00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:43,280 Speaker 1: why we fought the most during our book tour, was 161 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:47,760 Speaker 1: because bringing up those things aren't easy, you know. Now, granted, 162 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:49,840 Speaker 1: we do it because we want to help other people, 163 00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:52,760 Speaker 1: you know, but going to the depths of some of 164 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:54,640 Speaker 1: the things that we talked about in the book and this, 165 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:57,320 Speaker 1: it's like no wonder why, Like we were fighting those 166 00:10:57,400 --> 00:11:01,760 Speaker 1: two weeks the most we've fought, like entire quarantine because 167 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:05,000 Speaker 1: we're talking about things that are really hard for both 168 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:10,080 Speaker 1: of us for like seven hours a day. Yeah and yeah, 169 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:17,160 Speaker 1: But you know, I think it's funny that when people 170 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:21,400 Speaker 1: that have commented on whether this podcasts, are commented on 171 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:26,640 Speaker 1: posts or commented on whatever, and they say or you know, 172 00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:31,880 Speaker 1: publications or news or whatever about us, and they say that, 173 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,960 Speaker 1: why are why is the media wire so and so 174 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:39,440 Speaker 1: still making these this couple relevant? They're just trying to 175 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:45,720 Speaker 1: make money off of their problems. And it's just comical 176 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:47,439 Speaker 1: to Jane and I because we're like, first of all, 177 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:52,679 Speaker 1: where's the money because we don't see it, And two, 178 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:56,600 Speaker 1: you know, that just goes to show they don't know us. 179 00:11:56,640 --> 00:12:01,240 Speaker 1: They're just making these false, you know, assumptions that that's 180 00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:05,320 Speaker 1: not who we are as people. Are genuine motivation to 181 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:08,240 Speaker 1: talk about this stuff is to help those of you 182 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:11,559 Speaker 1: who have gone through or are going through something similar 183 00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:16,080 Speaker 1: and to try to lessen the blow for people that 184 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:22,959 Speaker 1: are going through this and not positively normalizing the conversation, 185 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:26,040 Speaker 1: but normalizing it to a sense of you don't have 186 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,480 Speaker 1: to live in secret. You can find ways to work 187 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:30,600 Speaker 1: it out if you want to, if you choose to 188 00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:36,280 Speaker 1: and move past the pain. So hater's gonna hate. But 189 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:41,040 Speaker 1: you know, because I think either way it's both sides, 190 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:43,600 Speaker 1: like neither one of us wants to bring up the stuff. 191 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:46,960 Speaker 1: But again, we've seen, you know, we've we've seen the 192 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:51,600 Speaker 1: benefit of helping people, and you know, yeah, that's what 193 00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:55,800 Speaker 1: drives us. There was a someone that and I just 194 00:12:55,800 --> 00:13:01,160 Speaker 1: need to remind myself of this in you too, right now, um, 195 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:03,960 Speaker 1: she goes. I wanted to drop and say thank you 196 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,000 Speaker 1: the good Fight saving me and my marriage one chapter 197 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:07,680 Speaker 1: at a time. And while I'm sure y'all hear this 198 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:10,480 Speaker 1: all the time, I really, I really appreciate the bravery 199 00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:13,079 Speaker 1: and vulnerability that went into every page. I feel so 200 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:15,960 Speaker 1: isolated in the loan, in my personal and marital struggles, 201 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:18,920 Speaker 1: to the point of feeling paralyzed and expressing my feelings 202 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:21,760 Speaker 1: and securities and doubts to my husband. Little did he know, 203 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:24,400 Speaker 1: little did I know, he was feeling the same way. 204 00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:26,320 Speaker 1: And y'all have opened so many doors for us in 205 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:28,480 Speaker 1: so many ways. We were learning and growing together in 206 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:31,720 Speaker 1: such immeasurable bounds just by reading and meditating on Ya's 207 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:34,360 Speaker 1: words each day. God was pulling at my heart to 208 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:36,400 Speaker 1: read The Good Fight. And now I understand why so 209 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:38,400 Speaker 1: thank you a million times for sharing your story with 210 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:41,560 Speaker 1: the world. That's truly saved me. So I think remembering 211 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:46,160 Speaker 1: those things that like it is helpful, even though some 212 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,640 Speaker 1: people that don't understand our story don't understand why we 213 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:51,280 Speaker 1: have guests like this, and I want to bring up 214 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:55,120 Speaker 1: these feelings. But hopefully we've done enough therapy and have 215 00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:57,440 Speaker 1: enough tools at the end of this episode we can 216 00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:01,560 Speaker 1: let whatever feeling has come up and not be mean 217 00:14:01,679 --> 00:14:04,080 Speaker 1: and be angry and shame because I know I probably 218 00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:11,560 Speaker 1: would say some really mean things afterwards. But you know, anyways, 219 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:15,439 Speaker 1: what's your feeling about Rachel before we get her own? 220 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:18,920 Speaker 1: The hater honestly, and that's a really mean thing to say. 221 00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:23,600 Speaker 1: I don't know her, I don't like, but it's she's 222 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:28,680 Speaker 1: the face of someone else I hate, and that's and 223 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:31,960 Speaker 1: that's where it that's where I feel bad because I 224 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:33,960 Speaker 1: don't know her story, you know. I mean, I know 225 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,680 Speaker 1: that she lost them in a nine eleven and that's 226 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:39,640 Speaker 1: terrible and I can't imagine how that's affected her. But yeah, 227 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:41,800 Speaker 1: she's the face of someone I don't like, and so 228 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,440 Speaker 1: it's going to be hard for me to take the 229 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:49,960 Speaker 1: picture of who I'm picturing and see just her. If 230 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:55,680 Speaker 1: that makes sense. You and Mike have gone through a 231 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:58,360 Speaker 1: lot together and he's done a lot to work on himself. 232 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,680 Speaker 1: Is there a benefit of the to be given to 233 00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:02,720 Speaker 1: her that she's done a lot to work on herself 234 00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:04,760 Speaker 1: over the past ten years and she's not the person 235 00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:07,320 Speaker 1: she once was? Didn't she wasn't? There an article that 236 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:09,360 Speaker 1: just came out though, that she just broke up another marriage. 237 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:17,680 Speaker 1: That's where I'm kind of like, you know that that well, 238 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:21,200 Speaker 1: that's what I want to ask her because I'm interested. 239 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:23,680 Speaker 1: You know, I think that I make up that could 240 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:26,720 Speaker 1: be one of the situations because I read the article 241 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:29,920 Speaker 1: and the wife was like completely blindsided by this where 242 00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:32,120 Speaker 1: he had to sat down, sit down as three step 243 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:35,720 Speaker 1: kids they're all from her previous marriage, and basically tell 244 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:41,080 Speaker 1: them like he's basically leaving and started secretly setting up 245 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:43,320 Speaker 1: things and and moves to get out of there. And 246 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:45,120 Speaker 1: then like beginning of December, he's like, all right, I'm out, 247 00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:47,080 Speaker 1: and she's like the wife said, wait, what the fuck? 248 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:50,600 Speaker 1: And so I don't know if he had been telling 249 00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:54,320 Speaker 1: Rachel things like we're basically divorced, I don't I want 250 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:58,240 Speaker 1: out anyway, They're not even my kids, you know. So 251 00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:01,760 Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah and so, And that's that's where 252 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:05,640 Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm not justifying people in her situation, whether 253 00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:12,119 Speaker 1: male or female. I'm just open to hearing their explanation. 254 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:14,000 Speaker 1: Because if if you sat there and you met someone 255 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:18,000 Speaker 1: and they told you, yeah, we're separated, barely even talk, 256 00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:22,360 Speaker 1: we're on our way out, papers are filed, you don't 257 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:25,160 Speaker 1: know for sure. Well, I mean that's kind of our situation. 258 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:30,160 Speaker 1: We were separated, and I you know, but I'm saying 259 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:33,320 Speaker 1: if to you that was reality. But I'm saying if 260 00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:37,560 Speaker 1: at home, that was not at all the case. I see, 261 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:41,080 Speaker 1: you know, so she's received that information, she's like, oh, 262 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:43,800 Speaker 1: so he's available, he's he's just the paperwork has to 263 00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:47,240 Speaker 1: be processed. So maybe Mark, I don't know, you don't 264 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,840 Speaker 1: know what I mean. That's all I'm saying is you 265 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:51,960 Speaker 1: never know. And I get people. I mean, I have 266 00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:54,960 Speaker 1: people that reach out to that are women on the 267 00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:58,160 Speaker 1: other side that say they're the ones that cheated. And 268 00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:01,920 Speaker 1: again I've been unfaithful, but it hasn't been to a 269 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:08,880 Speaker 1: married man, but um in past relationships. Um. But yeah, 270 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:12,920 Speaker 1: so I get it happens. I get the heart wants 271 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:17,160 Speaker 1: what the heart wants. UM. But I think because I've 272 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:18,919 Speaker 1: been in a situation as the wife, that's where I 273 00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:21,080 Speaker 1: think it just hits a little harder personally for me 274 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:26,240 Speaker 1: and for Mike. But for sure, I believe we should 275 00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:30,560 Speaker 1: take a break below the nose and get Rachel on 276 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:47,159 Speaker 1: alrighty well, Rachel, um, thank you for coming on our 277 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,719 Speaker 1: show with us and winding down and we already interred 278 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:53,720 Speaker 1: you and you know, talked about some of the things 279 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:56,359 Speaker 1: along your history and our history and shared open you know, 280 00:17:56,400 --> 00:18:00,280 Speaker 1: wounds that we've gone through in our relationship and uh, 281 00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:05,400 Speaker 1: to be you know, completely honest. It's triggering for us 282 00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:06,960 Speaker 1: to talk about some of the things we want to 283 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:10,320 Speaker 1: talk about with you, um, you know, because of the 284 00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:14,600 Speaker 1: affairs I had on Jana and you know, this bringing 285 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:18,320 Speaker 1: up you know, just triggers of her past and mind. UM. 286 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:21,040 Speaker 1: So it's things personally that we're we have done a 287 00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:24,119 Speaker 1: lot of work around, um, individually and as a couple, 288 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:27,280 Speaker 1: but we always like to talk about these not like 289 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:29,879 Speaker 1: to we discuss these kind of things with our viewers 290 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:32,680 Speaker 1: because we understand a lot of this isn't talked about 291 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:35,000 Speaker 1: in a healthy way. And so having you on, we 292 00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:37,959 Speaker 1: wanted you to be able to express yourself and maybe 293 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:40,679 Speaker 1: you know things that you've done and things that we 294 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:42,720 Speaker 1: can expect from you coming up in the future, and 295 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:45,000 Speaker 1: even what to hear from you on on the documentary 296 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:49,760 Speaker 1: on HBO. Okay, well, thank you for having me on. 297 00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:54,639 Speaker 1: I really appreciate it. I'm um big fans of you guys. 298 00:18:54,760 --> 00:19:01,040 Speaker 1: I have followed you guys along your path and UM 299 00:19:01,119 --> 00:19:05,040 Speaker 1: and I respect what you guys have gone through, and UM, 300 00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:07,920 Speaker 1: I'm so glad see you guys sitting together and I 301 00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:10,520 Speaker 1: I'm so honored to be on your show. And out 302 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:13,000 Speaker 1: of all the interviews that I'm doing, I have to 303 00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:17,120 Speaker 1: honestly say I, UM, I am most excited to be 304 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:21,320 Speaker 1: sitting with you guys through this whole experience, like genuinely 305 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:26,000 Speaker 1: because love addiction is what UM, I want to talk 306 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:28,720 Speaker 1: about most like every month Tiger Woods and the fact 307 00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:31,520 Speaker 1: that I'm on the HBO documentary and blah blah blah. Um, 308 00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:35,959 Speaker 1: I want to mostly talk about my um journey with 309 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:38,160 Speaker 1: love addiction and what that's done for me and why 310 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:40,120 Speaker 1: That's gotten me in the most trouble in my life 311 00:19:40,119 --> 00:19:43,800 Speaker 1: and what I'm doing too, like survive through that and 312 00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:50,920 Speaker 1: how I want to help people like UM and the relationships, UM, 313 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:54,320 Speaker 1: like my life and the trauma I've experienced my life 314 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,840 Speaker 1: and why that's made me go from a relationship to 315 00:19:56,880 --> 00:20:01,520 Speaker 1: relationship and why I've been with men who have cheated 316 00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:03,560 Speaker 1: and blah blah blah. Anyways, the point is that I'm 317 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:06,320 Speaker 1: happy to be here with you and here the interview 318 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:08,679 Speaker 1: that I wanted to do the most. So thank you, 319 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:11,440 Speaker 1: Thank you. We appreciate that. And I mean, use this 320 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:13,959 Speaker 1: show as your platform, and we would love to hear 321 00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:16,240 Speaker 1: because we do talk about addiction obviously, Yeah, and I 322 00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:18,439 Speaker 1: and I identify as a love addict, so I do 323 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:21,639 Speaker 1: understand that side too. Um. You know my twenties, that 324 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,399 Speaker 1: was just catching the high and going from relationship to 325 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,560 Speaker 1: relationship and getting that high and then once the high 326 00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:28,400 Speaker 1: was over, I would leave. And that's how kind of 327 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,000 Speaker 1: my love addiction. UM. And you know, obviously the Mike 328 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:33,679 Speaker 1: speaks about his addiction sex addiction as well, So I 329 00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:36,320 Speaker 1: mean we definitely understand that and and want to shed 330 00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:38,359 Speaker 1: more light on the love addiction because I think that's 331 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:44,520 Speaker 1: not UM, people might not understand it as as as much. So, UM, 332 00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:48,879 Speaker 1: when did you um start to be like okay, like 333 00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:51,320 Speaker 1: this is this is a thing like and start identifying 334 00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:53,840 Speaker 1: that you are a love addict and seeing the patterns. 335 00:20:55,440 --> 00:21:02,480 Speaker 1: So I um was brought onto UM Celebrity Rehab with 336 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:06,040 Speaker 1: Dr Drew in two thousand and ten and by v 337 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:09,639 Speaker 1: H one, and I was like, Um, I'm not going 338 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,560 Speaker 1: to do this show. I don't have any addictions. I 339 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:15,320 Speaker 1: don't really drink, I don't you know, have a substance 340 00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:19,520 Speaker 1: of use edition and um, you know they were paying 341 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:20,760 Speaker 1: me a lot of money to do it. I was 342 00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:23,720 Speaker 1: asked to do The Apprentice, and obviously my name was 343 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,879 Speaker 1: in the press a lot from just a couple of 344 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:30,280 Speaker 1: months before with the tiger thing, and um, they just figured. 345 00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:31,959 Speaker 1: I figured they wanted me on the show and they 346 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,040 Speaker 1: were just looking for an addiction. And I sat down 347 00:21:34,119 --> 00:21:36,439 Speaker 1: with Dr Drew. He sat across the table from me. 348 00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:40,080 Speaker 1: My my name was all over the press, and he 349 00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:42,760 Speaker 1: looked at me and he said, Okay, stop, I want 350 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:44,439 Speaker 1: you to come on the show, but it's because you 351 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,639 Speaker 1: need help, and you can come on the show for 352 00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:49,879 Speaker 1: whatever you want, but you're a love adict. And I'm like, 353 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:53,440 Speaker 1: why do you say that? He goes, you lost your father, 354 00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:56,439 Speaker 1: and you lost your father he died of a cocaine overdose. 355 00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:59,600 Speaker 1: This was the one man who's supposed to love you unconditionally. 356 00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:02,720 Speaker 1: You don't know what unconditional love is. Then ten years later, 357 00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:05,480 Speaker 1: your fiance was killed in the World Trade Center. This 358 00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:07,320 Speaker 1: was the one man you were supposed to have like 359 00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:10,840 Speaker 1: a future with and he was taken from you. And 360 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:14,520 Speaker 1: then ten years later, the media you know, follows you 361 00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:18,600 Speaker 1: around and you are seeing as the quintessential homewrecking horror 362 00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:22,520 Speaker 1: mistress whatever, Like, how are you ever going to like 363 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:26,520 Speaker 1: have a normal relationship with a man? And here you 364 00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:29,520 Speaker 1: are every your name is all over the place. You 365 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:33,520 Speaker 1: are like a complete mess. Like you obviously have major 366 00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:37,640 Speaker 1: issues with understanding what unconditional love is. You're You're You're 367 00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:40,239 Speaker 1: not going to get through life unless you stick with 368 00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:43,240 Speaker 1: me for the next thirty days. So I went into 369 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:46,200 Speaker 1: treatment with him and dealt with my love addiction issues, 370 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:50,480 Speaker 1: and I sat down and understood that I mistake intensity 371 00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:56,760 Speaker 1: for love and that I basically don't date people that 372 00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:00,720 Speaker 1: I do this with, and like I don't date people 373 00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:03,640 Speaker 1: on a straight line. I don't date what he would 374 00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:05,639 Speaker 1: call boring, do you know what I mean? Like I 375 00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:09,120 Speaker 1: always date toxic people. I always do the push and pull. 376 00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:13,000 Speaker 1: I would like leave, you know, I would, or I would. 377 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:15,640 Speaker 1: I would make people leave because I would want them 378 00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:17,560 Speaker 1: to prove that they were going to come back, or 379 00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:20,720 Speaker 1: that they were worthy or I was worthy. Or I 380 00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:24,560 Speaker 1: would pick people that were unattainable. I don't just mean married, 381 00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:27,320 Speaker 1: I just mean whatever the reason was that they were unattainable, 382 00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:31,359 Speaker 1: you know, um, and make them prove that they were 383 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:36,359 Speaker 1: going to stay. And UM, you know I also, um, 384 00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:38,280 Speaker 1: you know, there was there was just many reasons. But 385 00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:40,040 Speaker 1: the love addiction was something that was brought up to 386 00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:43,280 Speaker 1: me by Dr Drew and and it ended up fitting 387 00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:46,679 Speaker 1: and UM, It's been something that has weaved through my life, 388 00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:49,640 Speaker 1: my entire life, and it's really affected me. It's made 389 00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:52,919 Speaker 1: me unable to be good at my job. It's been 390 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:56,080 Speaker 1: unable at some point for me to parent, um, you know, 391 00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:59,720 Speaker 1: because it's really affected me. I've dated really horrible people 392 00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:04,679 Speaker 1: that have you know, affected my life in horrible, horrible ways. 393 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:08,400 Speaker 1: UM to the fact where I've been in physical altercations 394 00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:10,320 Speaker 1: with men that I would never I mean, I would 395 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:11,879 Speaker 1: look at my friends and I would see them get 396 00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:13,600 Speaker 1: beat up my boyfriends. I'd be like, how could you 397 00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:16,120 Speaker 1: stay in relationships? Like that and then that became me. 398 00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:19,399 Speaker 1: I was like, how did I become that person? You know? 399 00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:21,840 Speaker 1: And I would never think that that would become me? 400 00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:24,280 Speaker 1: And then I would go back to them and not 401 00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:28,679 Speaker 1: understand you know, um anyway, So how did it? How 402 00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:31,840 Speaker 1: did it feel? When Doctor Drew addressed that with you, 403 00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:35,880 Speaker 1: was like, you have issues like your love addict. Were 404 00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:39,040 Speaker 1: you like dismissive of it? Were you defensive about it? 405 00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:42,640 Speaker 1: Or was it something that resonated pretty immediately? Well? When 406 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:44,240 Speaker 1: he said that to me, I was like, that's not 407 00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:47,159 Speaker 1: a thing. That is so dumb. I mean literally the 408 00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:49,080 Speaker 1: words that came out of my mouth were that is 409 00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:52,320 Speaker 1: so stupid. That is just a made up thing. Love 410 00:24:52,359 --> 00:25:00,080 Speaker 1: addiction is um sounds made up. Um. But then I 411 00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:05,240 Speaker 1: started to realize that it was the the signs were real, 412 00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:09,880 Speaker 1: um things. You know that I was constantly in love 413 00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:12,600 Speaker 1: with being in love and I would you know, I 414 00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,120 Speaker 1: think everyone knows someone that's a love at it. They're 415 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:18,560 Speaker 1: like constantly in relationships with people, or they're like moving 416 00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:21,719 Speaker 1: in with someone they just met, or um, you know, 417 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:26,600 Speaker 1: they're putting a bag over the person the reality of 418 00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:28,679 Speaker 1: the person that they just met, right. They don't want 419 00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:32,440 Speaker 1: to see the reality of the person UM that they 420 00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:36,760 Speaker 1: that they just met or that they even know, and 421 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:38,800 Speaker 1: they don't want to see the real things. And then 422 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:43,040 Speaker 1: when they do, um see the real signs, they like 423 00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:45,919 Speaker 1: want to dismiss it and uh. And then there's a 424 00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:48,800 Speaker 1: whole cycle of this and there becomes an anger when 425 00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:52,199 Speaker 1: you see the real um signs of the person and 426 00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:54,600 Speaker 1: they feel disappointed. And I think a lot of love 427 00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:59,639 Speaker 1: addicts are date sex addicts, and that becomes an issue 428 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:02,920 Speaker 1: because there's a push and pull of that because sex 429 00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,399 Speaker 1: addicts are usually attracted to love addicts and love addicts 430 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:08,720 Speaker 1: are attracted to sex addicts, and UM, there's a power 431 00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:11,240 Speaker 1: pull there and there's nothing wrong with that. I mean, 432 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:14,840 Speaker 1: that's just what happens and UM, and there's a lot 433 00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:16,359 Speaker 1: of cheating that goes on. I mean, there's just a 434 00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:20,760 Speaker 1: natural cycle that happens and UM. And I think the 435 00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:25,360 Speaker 1: common bond is this, UM, there's an an intimacy thing 436 00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:29,479 Speaker 1: UM and no one wants to be left. But at 437 00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:33,200 Speaker 1: the same time, UM, you know, the sex addict doesn't 438 00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:36,359 Speaker 1: want the intimacy and the love addict wants the intimacy, 439 00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:40,560 Speaker 1: and so you have this huge explosion of problems. You know, 440 00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:43,920 Speaker 1: there's no question. I mean that that definitely resonates with us. 441 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:46,760 Speaker 1: And like as a woman and you and you you're 442 00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:49,159 Speaker 1: open now about you know, being a love addict and 443 00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:53,600 Speaker 1: you're knowing you're understanding your story more. How has how 444 00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:55,840 Speaker 1: has the reception been? Because I know as a male, right, 445 00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:57,959 Speaker 1: like a lot of what I've heard is, oh, sex addiction, 446 00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:01,240 Speaker 1: that's a married man's disease. You know, from a woman's perspective, 447 00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:04,119 Speaker 1: how have you been? How has that been received? When 448 00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:06,119 Speaker 1: you've expressed to people, well, I'm a love addict, and 449 00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:09,000 Speaker 1: it's not an excuse of why you've done what you've done. 450 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:12,240 Speaker 1: But what I tell Jan is it's an explanation of 451 00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:16,840 Speaker 1: some behaviors in your life. I think that like a 452 00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:19,000 Speaker 1: lot of people will say, the sex addict is the 453 00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:21,320 Speaker 1: man's problem and the love addict is a woman's problem. 454 00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:24,240 Speaker 1: Right that they're going to say that that's one or 455 00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:27,840 Speaker 1: the other, and I think that that's well or or 456 00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:30,720 Speaker 1: you know, the man will portray the woman and then 457 00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:35,760 Speaker 1: the man will try to use um sex addict addiction 458 00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:39,320 Speaker 1: and say, okay, well I'll just go to rehab for 459 00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:41,959 Speaker 1: sex addiction and I'm sorry, And then they come home 460 00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:45,280 Speaker 1: like they'll sort of blame it on that also and 461 00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:48,639 Speaker 1: then say okay, I'll come home. I mean there's a 462 00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:52,040 Speaker 1: very big truth to that that there that there is 463 00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:54,520 Speaker 1: an addiction. But I think a lot of men, I 464 00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:56,480 Speaker 1: mean listen, I know a lot of men will then 465 00:27:56,680 --> 00:28:01,240 Speaker 1: go off and do that and then come home as 466 00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:04,760 Speaker 1: a as an excuse, right, So I mean women do 467 00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:07,520 Speaker 1: it too though. I mean it's you know, a lot 468 00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:11,440 Speaker 1: of people cheap because they're just not happy at home. 469 00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:15,280 Speaker 1: And there's something to be said for marriage is hard, right, 470 00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:17,960 Speaker 1: You've got to make it work. There's a partnership. There's 471 00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:20,400 Speaker 1: a difference with me. I mean, I want to witness 472 00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:22,800 Speaker 1: to my life. There's something to be said for like 473 00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:26,640 Speaker 1: you too, you have a history. You you have there's 474 00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:29,040 Speaker 1: a bond there, that's a history and a knowledge. When 475 00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:31,639 Speaker 1: you go off with another woman, you don't know that woman. 476 00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:35,560 Speaker 1: You don't have an intimacy there. You don't know ins 477 00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:38,640 Speaker 1: and outs of what um she likes to eat and 478 00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:41,520 Speaker 1: drink and why she gets upset about the way she uh, 479 00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:44,520 Speaker 1: you know about things that are between the two of you. 480 00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:47,560 Speaker 1: Like you, guys have a bond and a life, a 481 00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:50,240 Speaker 1: history and a and a knowledge of what you guys 482 00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:54,320 Speaker 1: have there's an US that this other person doesn't have, right, 483 00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:57,080 Speaker 1: and that makes you guys and us and makes you special. 484 00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:59,640 Speaker 1: This other woman doesn't have that. She has a one 485 00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:03,960 Speaker 1: night and and I think that there's something so much 486 00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:08,040 Speaker 1: more in in the witness to your life than the 487 00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:11,160 Speaker 1: one night stand. Right. But that's what I want in 488 00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:14,680 Speaker 1: my life, and that's what like, that's where the connection 489 00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:19,600 Speaker 1: comes from. And um, that's what like the attraction of 490 00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:22,760 Speaker 1: being a relationship is, um and that's what I'm always 491 00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:25,600 Speaker 1: looking for. So these people that go off and have 492 00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:29,760 Speaker 1: these one night flings, it's um. You know. I think 493 00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:32,800 Speaker 1: that that's like a very empty thing to go off 494 00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:35,640 Speaker 1: to and what people have to remember that that's that 495 00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:38,920 Speaker 1: really becomes nothing. And hopefully you you realize that you 496 00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:43,040 Speaker 1: want the US and that you you that that becomes 497 00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:45,640 Speaker 1: what you strive for and that you work for, and 498 00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:49,000 Speaker 1: that marriage is is what you're striving for, and that 499 00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:55,840 Speaker 1: that's the healing that you want to work on. The US. Absolutely, yeah, 500 00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:59,280 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm I hear, I'm I hear all of that, 501 00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:02,920 Speaker 1: and I can definitely relate to some of it. Um. 502 00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:06,040 Speaker 1: I think I think what's like hardest in this situation 503 00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:12,280 Speaker 1: is um, like I never got I never got empathy 504 00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:16,600 Speaker 1: from one of his one of his main affair girls. 505 00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:21,800 Speaker 1: And I always wondered, like do they not think about 506 00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:25,880 Speaker 1: the wife? You know? And when you're in that situation, 507 00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:30,760 Speaker 1: like is it just are we just not thought about? 508 00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:32,640 Speaker 1: Because Michael saying it's like he's it's like it's a 509 00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:36,520 Speaker 1: very selfish act, like it's it's you know, it's you know, 510 00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:38,720 Speaker 1: he didn't think about me, you know. So it's like 511 00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:41,760 Speaker 1: is that just kind of because I want the women 512 00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:43,920 Speaker 1: out there that have been in my situation too, and 513 00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:46,920 Speaker 1: vice versa or the men or but like that, it's 514 00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:53,400 Speaker 1: um question, Can I ask you a question? Because I 515 00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:56,520 Speaker 1: didn't hear how you how you introde me, So I 516 00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:59,560 Speaker 1: have a really interesting question for you. What's your reaction 517 00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:02,719 Speaker 1: to something? And like me, then, well this is and 518 00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:05,800 Speaker 1: this is where I feel really bad because I was 519 00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:08,920 Speaker 1: like and I think my direct quote was as like 520 00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:12,040 Speaker 1: I hate her because but I don't hate you. I 521 00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:15,880 Speaker 1: hate his affair girls, but I label everybody that's cheated 522 00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:19,440 Speaker 1: on someone that girl, you know what I mean? But 523 00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:21,640 Speaker 1: I hear like hearing your story now, I'm like I 524 00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:24,320 Speaker 1: get it, Like I'm a love addict. I can understand, 525 00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:29,080 Speaker 1: like I can understand those things. Um, I think I 526 00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:32,000 Speaker 1: just have so much hate for his affair girls that 527 00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:36,880 Speaker 1: I when I the first thought of this is like, like, 528 00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:38,560 Speaker 1: I don't want to, you know, I don't want to 529 00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:41,120 Speaker 1: because I would you want to? Like why would you 530 00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:43,080 Speaker 1: want to interview me? Because I didn't even think of 531 00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:44,800 Speaker 1: that until you just said that, Like why would you 532 00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:48,760 Speaker 1: want to interview someone like me? When I'm someone to 533 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,360 Speaker 1: you like who he's who he's cheated on you with. 534 00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:54,440 Speaker 1: I didn't think about that until you just said that. 535 00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:57,280 Speaker 1: But and I feel it didn't even occur to me 536 00:31:57,720 --> 00:31:59,640 Speaker 1: and I and that's a horrible thing to say. No, 537 00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:03,520 Speaker 1: And I'm sorry that because you know, it's rude to 538 00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:05,360 Speaker 1: say that I hate someone that I don't even know, 539 00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:07,520 Speaker 1: because people say that about us, they hate me. I 540 00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:10,720 Speaker 1: get people and you know, and that's really rude. And 541 00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:14,760 Speaker 1: I'm well, because you know people, people don't like people 542 00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:20,000 Speaker 1: for different reasons. But I want to apologize because I 543 00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:22,640 Speaker 1: should never have said I don't know you, you you know, 544 00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:25,240 Speaker 1: and I don't know your story and now I'm learning 545 00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:27,760 Speaker 1: your story. But I want to apologize because that's not 546 00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:33,240 Speaker 1: fair of me to label you for the face of 547 00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:35,680 Speaker 1: someone else, you know, because you have a story and 548 00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:39,640 Speaker 1: everyone has their story. Sorry this is but like, so 549 00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:43,760 Speaker 1: I'm I apologize for just straight up being like, now 550 00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:47,040 Speaker 1: I hate her. I don't that's she cheated. She's she's 551 00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:49,440 Speaker 1: the who cheated, probably with my husband, you know. So 552 00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:53,600 Speaker 1: I really am so sorry for just not getting to 553 00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:57,120 Speaker 1: know your story before I passed judgment, because I'm sure 554 00:32:57,120 --> 00:33:00,600 Speaker 1: you've gotten that judgment from a lot of people. So 555 00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:03,680 Speaker 1: that's why I did the documentary because I go through 556 00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:08,480 Speaker 1: life with people hating me like I did something personally 557 00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:15,800 Speaker 1: to them and personally hurt them, personally, offended them, personally, 558 00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:20,760 Speaker 1: did something to them with such a vengeance. They hate 559 00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:24,280 Speaker 1: me with a passion when I did nothing to them personally. 560 00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:29,360 Speaker 1: And you're the first person that like has caused because 561 00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:33,320 Speaker 1: your husband did something similar, right, and like that's still 562 00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:36,280 Speaker 1: not right, no, but like no, but you're the first 563 00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:38,800 Speaker 1: person that like we're having this conversation that like I 564 00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:43,640 Speaker 1: get it because your husband like literally did something and 565 00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:46,600 Speaker 1: and it makes sense though, right, so I get it, 566 00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:50,040 Speaker 1: and I feel and I but I feel like I 567 00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:54,560 Speaker 1: know why you have that hatred, right, And I feel horrible. 568 00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:58,840 Speaker 1: I feel I feel horrible, but you have to realize 569 00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:02,120 Speaker 1: I didn't do it to you. And I've had I've 570 00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:04,880 Speaker 1: had to feel hatred like your hatred of me for 571 00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:08,560 Speaker 1: ten years. And I didn't do that to you. I 572 00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:11,799 Speaker 1: did it for someone else, and I feel horrible, but 573 00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:13,960 Speaker 1: I didn't do it to you, and I hope you 574 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,920 Speaker 1: realize that. And I'm sorry that you hate I didn't 575 00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:21,960 Speaker 1: do it to you, though, And I'm your husband, thank you. 576 00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:26,040 Speaker 1: I've all I've always loved you, but I would never 577 00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:28,120 Speaker 1: keep you know like I didn't do it to you. 578 00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:30,520 Speaker 1: So I just want you to know that. And I'm 579 00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:33,960 Speaker 1: sorry for the mistakes that your husband made. I I 580 00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:37,160 Speaker 1: would hope like I'm in support of you, guys. I 581 00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:39,719 Speaker 1: want you to know that I support you guys so much. 582 00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:42,359 Speaker 1: I hope that, I really hope that your husband doesn't 583 00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:45,160 Speaker 1: make mistakes like that again. I hope. I want you 584 00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:48,800 Speaker 1: guys to succeed so much. I'm there for you guys 585 00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:52,759 Speaker 1: so much, and I want you guys to succeed. But 586 00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:55,520 Speaker 1: I didn't make that mistake, and and I just want 587 00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:58,120 Speaker 1: you to know that, and I and I and I 588 00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:00,200 Speaker 1: do and I appreciate you saying that. I think it's 589 00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:03,359 Speaker 1: a huge lesson for women that have been cheated on 590 00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:07,000 Speaker 1: or vice versa, to know that it's not um, just 591 00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:09,760 Speaker 1: because someone else did doesn't mean that they're a bad person. 592 00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:12,600 Speaker 1: Or again saying like, because you didn't do that to me, 593 00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:15,680 Speaker 1: you were the you're the face and the story of 594 00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:19,600 Speaker 1: what you know, but you're not the person. You're not 595 00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:24,880 Speaker 1: You're not You're not them. And um, and I can't 596 00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:30,440 Speaker 1: imagine living those years with so many people just hating 597 00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:33,200 Speaker 1: on you and not getting to know you because I 598 00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:38,680 Speaker 1: make up. But that's exhausting and it's it's it's hurtful 599 00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:43,360 Speaker 1: and um yeah, I and I just because of um, 600 00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:45,880 Speaker 1: of a feeling you had with someone that you loved 601 00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:48,920 Speaker 1: or liked or whatever. So you know, I am, I 602 00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:51,160 Speaker 1: am sorry about that. I can't imagine that. I bet 603 00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:56,160 Speaker 1: that's really hard. Yeah. Well, and I you know it's 604 00:35:57,520 --> 00:36:01,000 Speaker 1: and again I I I'm so sorry. And you know 605 00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:05,839 Speaker 1: I would hope I'm sorry to hear that she wasn't apathetic. Yeah, yeah, 606 00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:11,040 Speaker 1: I agree. Totally sucks and you should make her apologize 607 00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:15,239 Speaker 1: by the way, Um well, I guess we shouldn't. We 608 00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:21,279 Speaker 1: shouldn't talk to her anymore, so she sucks, um um. 609 00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:23,560 Speaker 1: But that's not how she should have handled it. Quite frankly. 610 00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:25,520 Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know anything about her, so um, 611 00:36:26,239 --> 00:36:29,160 Speaker 1: but she should feel sorry she but you know, anyway, 612 00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:32,120 Speaker 1: we won't talk about her anymore. UM. Mike's like, thank god, 613 00:36:32,239 --> 00:36:36,000 Speaker 1: moving on, okay, sorry, no, you're good, Rachel. We've gotten 614 00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:39,600 Speaker 1: this question a lot from people about how are we 615 00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:41,880 Speaker 1: going to talk to our kids when they get of 616 00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:43,600 Speaker 1: age with things? And we know you have a daughter 617 00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:49,920 Speaker 1: who's ten eight. I'm sorry, UM, how have you have 618 00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:52,719 Speaker 1: you addressed things with her? What are your plans to 619 00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:56,480 Speaker 1: or you know kind of things are around that. UM, 620 00:36:56,520 --> 00:36:59,279 Speaker 1: I haven't, but you know she for example, today she 621 00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:02,960 Speaker 1: just saw uh an ad for like the Tiger the 622 00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:07,000 Speaker 1: Tiger doc and she she mentioned it. So she's smart enough. 623 00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:13,799 Speaker 1: She's also you know, she's been alive for all of this, 624 00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:18,240 Speaker 1: meaning she's seen paparazzi follow me. She's she's been alive 625 00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:20,680 Speaker 1: for all of this. She's never mentioned anything to me 626 00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:25,280 Speaker 1: or said anything, um, directly, but she's always been around 627 00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:27,640 Speaker 1: for it. So when she sees paparazzi outside, she lifts 628 00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:31,360 Speaker 1: her mask up. She's but she's never directly said anything. 629 00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:34,000 Speaker 1: At some point I'll have to address something with her. 630 00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:38,120 Speaker 1: But I always just try to um raise her the 631 00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:40,360 Speaker 1: best way I can try to give her the best 632 00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:45,520 Speaker 1: skills that I know how, UM, I don't know, I 633 00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:48,479 Speaker 1: don't know how to answer that with her, but UM, 634 00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:52,640 Speaker 1: I will definitely UM relationships will will definitely be something 635 00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:56,280 Speaker 1: that is important to bring up with her and UM. 636 00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:59,040 Speaker 1: You know, I've definitely had a horrible history with her 637 00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:03,319 Speaker 1: dad and me, so UM making sure I talked to 638 00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:08,080 Speaker 1: her about relationships with UM. Boys will be something that 639 00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:10,680 Speaker 1: I definitely talked to her about, like as she starts 640 00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:12,960 Speaker 1: to get interested in boys or whatever it is, you know, 641 00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:17,840 Speaker 1: Like I make sure that she is careful about her picker. 642 00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:20,200 Speaker 1: I want I had a horrible picker, you know, and 643 00:38:20,239 --> 00:38:23,399 Speaker 1: I want to make sure that she has a good one, 644 00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:26,040 Speaker 1: you know, and that she's picking the right friends and 645 00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:28,239 Speaker 1: the right people because growing up is hard. Having the 646 00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:31,160 Speaker 1: right girlfriends is hard, you know. UM people can be mean, 647 00:38:31,719 --> 00:38:35,080 Speaker 1: and I'm really protective of her, UM I you know, 648 00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:38,759 Speaker 1: UH people are horrible to me still, and so I 649 00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:43,520 Speaker 1: want to make sure that I um um um UM 650 00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:47,560 Speaker 1: teaching her right UM skills, that she's not a bully, 651 00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:50,480 Speaker 1: that no one's a bully to her. And that, um, 652 00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:53,960 Speaker 1: whatever happens to me, I have fixed it skin and 653 00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:59,799 Speaker 1: nothing is trickling down on her, you know, just kind 654 00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:03,279 Speaker 1: of impairing the similar similarities you and I have. I 655 00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:05,839 Speaker 1: was also an abusive relationship and even after he tried 656 00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:07,319 Speaker 1: to kill me, I went back and slept with him 657 00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:11,240 Speaker 1: that night, Like just that that addiction with with love. 658 00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:13,759 Speaker 1: And you know, a lot of people ask me like, 659 00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:16,600 Speaker 1: do do I have regrets with some of the relationships 660 00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:19,759 Speaker 1: that I that I've been in, And I'm like, well, no, 661 00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:23,880 Speaker 1: because you know, it's it's made me a stronger person, 662 00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:26,880 Speaker 1: or I've learned so much about myself. And granted, I'm 663 00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:29,040 Speaker 1: sure for you it's like, yeah, I would you have 664 00:39:29,120 --> 00:39:32,240 Speaker 1: wanted to have all the scrutiny the last however many years, 665 00:39:32,719 --> 00:39:34,560 Speaker 1: So I mean maybe you might have regrets, but at 666 00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:37,319 Speaker 1: the same time, now you're able to identify this love 667 00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:40,400 Speaker 1: addiction and then and then be able to have a 668 00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:43,640 Speaker 1: healthy relationship moving forward. So is that do you feel 669 00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:45,520 Speaker 1: the kind of the same way or or are you like, no, 670 00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:50,040 Speaker 1: I regret this or we always have regrets, right, but 671 00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:54,360 Speaker 1: you always learn when you fall. Now you want to 672 00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:59,120 Speaker 1: fall forward, right, so you try and say, oh, Okay, Well, 673 00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:01,839 Speaker 1: I'm glad I had these mistakes because every broken road 674 00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:05,719 Speaker 1: leads you to the next road forward, right, So I mean, 675 00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:08,719 Speaker 1: do I wish my life changed in the past. I 676 00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:13,480 Speaker 1: mean no, because I'm glad about who I am, because 677 00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:16,560 Speaker 1: I don't want to change anything about me, because now 678 00:40:16,719 --> 00:40:20,319 Speaker 1: I have every tool I have to move forward. I think. 679 00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:22,439 Speaker 1: I know I'm a really smart person and the most 680 00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:25,399 Speaker 1: resourceful person. I know. I could get through any situation, 681 00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:28,919 Speaker 1: uh that you asked me to by myself. I don't 682 00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:32,680 Speaker 1: need anyone to rely on. And I could literally get 683 00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:34,920 Speaker 1: myself out of any situation and figure it out and 684 00:40:34,960 --> 00:40:38,520 Speaker 1: move forward. And it's from every lesson that I've been through. 685 00:40:39,239 --> 00:40:44,160 Speaker 1: Um and I can handle it. I haven't not. I 686 00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:47,320 Speaker 1: figured out how to attack anything, you know, by myself. 687 00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:50,480 Speaker 1: So I'm happy that I've been to everything. I mean, 688 00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:55,480 Speaker 1: there are people I know that haven't been through divorces, tragedies, chaos, situation. 689 00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:58,279 Speaker 1: I could literally juggle everything. So do I want to 690 00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:01,279 Speaker 1: go through it again? No? But I'm happy that I've 691 00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:04,640 Speaker 1: experienced or touched everything so far. Um. Am I going 692 00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:08,319 Speaker 1: to fall or make a mistake again? Probably? Do I 693 00:41:08,360 --> 00:41:10,880 Speaker 1: want to be shamed again for it? No, I prefer 694 00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:14,440 Speaker 1: not to, but I'm sure I will. Um. I'd like 695 00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:17,279 Speaker 1: to have some real friends around me going forward. I 696 00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:19,560 Speaker 1: don't have a lot of those right now. It would 697 00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:23,000 Speaker 1: be nice to find some good friends and be nice 698 00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:25,560 Speaker 1: to find a nice man in my life. Would be 699 00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:27,160 Speaker 1: nice to get married and have been nice to have 700 00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:30,680 Speaker 1: a witness to my life and feel whole and uh, 701 00:41:30,719 --> 00:41:32,440 Speaker 1: you know, I'm forty five years old. I'd like to 702 00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:36,319 Speaker 1: feel happy. You know, it's really hard to find happiness 703 00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:38,560 Speaker 1: and feel like you have something to look forward to. 704 00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:42,719 Speaker 1: And like everyone else, you know, i'd like to you know, uh, 705 00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:45,000 Speaker 1: find some fulfillment in my life. Is not what we're 706 00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:49,600 Speaker 1: all striving for. I mean, I don't know, um what 707 00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:53,320 Speaker 1: what's one thing like for our listeners that they want 708 00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:56,280 Speaker 1: to they you want them to take away with your story, 709 00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:58,960 Speaker 1: like who you are? Like who is the real Rachel. 710 00:41:59,719 --> 00:42:02,640 Speaker 1: I've like them to watch the documentary on Sunday night. 711 00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:04,720 Speaker 1: If they haven't seen the first part it was last Sunday, 712 00:42:04,719 --> 00:42:07,719 Speaker 1: you can go on HBO Max and watch it, and 713 00:42:07,719 --> 00:42:10,120 Speaker 1: then I'd like you to watch it this Sunday, like 714 00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:12,319 Speaker 1: you guys to watch it. I think I think it's 715 00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:14,960 Speaker 1: really interesting, but I'd like you to know that the 716 00:42:15,080 --> 00:42:18,880 Speaker 1: media presents a picture of people, and they blame people, 717 00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:21,880 Speaker 1: and they make a story out of things that aren't 718 00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:25,719 Speaker 1: necessarily facts. And there's things that happened, and then there's 719 00:42:25,719 --> 00:42:28,560 Speaker 1: a story that happens after that, and it's not necessarily true, 720 00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:31,440 Speaker 1: and there are people that go with it. And everyone 721 00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:33,160 Speaker 1: has to put their head down at night and put 722 00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:34,920 Speaker 1: the legs out and go to sleep on a pillow. 723 00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:38,680 Speaker 1: And they're people involved, and you know, have a little empathy. 724 00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:41,359 Speaker 1: And I've been low, I've been down here, so now 725 00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:43,919 Speaker 1: I have empathy for others, and I wish other people 726 00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:49,040 Speaker 1: would have empathy for others too. UM. So you know, uh, 727 00:42:49,239 --> 00:42:51,520 Speaker 1: that's all. I just wish the people would realize. I'm 728 00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:56,279 Speaker 1: I'm like you, um, like everyone else, and I'm not 729 00:42:56,400 --> 00:43:00,160 Speaker 1: out to steal anyone's husband. I'm you know, I like 730 00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:03,600 Speaker 1: to find my own husband. I would like to be 731 00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:06,880 Speaker 1: friends with you, guys. I want the best for other people. Um. 732 00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:09,480 Speaker 1: You know, sometimes there are assholes out there, so I 733 00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:12,440 Speaker 1: get nasty with people too, just like I'm sure if 734 00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:14,799 Speaker 1: I want to text to you guys, you're like, you know, 735 00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:18,400 Speaker 1: you know, but but beyond that, I just you know, 736 00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:20,880 Speaker 1: I want to have you know, I have my daughter, 737 00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:23,520 Speaker 1: I have you know. I'm just trying my best and 738 00:43:23,719 --> 00:43:25,720 Speaker 1: we're all trying to get through the pandemic and figure 739 00:43:25,719 --> 00:43:28,719 Speaker 1: out life. And um, i'd like to see you make 740 00:43:28,760 --> 00:43:32,520 Speaker 1: more music. I love your country music like you know. Um, 741 00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:35,000 Speaker 1: you know that's it. I just I just want to 742 00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:38,200 Speaker 1: be happy. Well, we hope a little less anger and 743 00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:41,319 Speaker 1: nastiness in the world, yes, please, Well, definitely, we hope 744 00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:43,719 Speaker 1: the best for you, Rachel, And we appreciate your vulnerability 745 00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:45,279 Speaker 1: and your willingness to come on and talk to us 746 00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:47,719 Speaker 1: about such a difficult subject for you know, for all 747 00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:49,680 Speaker 1: of us to talk about and for listeners to hear. 748 00:43:49,719 --> 00:43:53,440 Speaker 1: But again, we appreciate you sharing your your true story, 749 00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:55,680 Speaker 1: and we hope nothing but the best for you moving forward, 750 00:43:55,719 --> 00:43:57,920 Speaker 1: and then you can get out of this cloud of 751 00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:01,840 Speaker 1: shame and that people continue to put you in. So again, 752 00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:03,520 Speaker 1: like you just said, you're a human being too, and 753 00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:06,560 Speaker 1: you deserve empathy just like everyone else does. So we 754 00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:09,919 Speaker 1: wish nothing by the best. And I'm sorry that I yeah, 755 00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:12,040 Speaker 1: I just want to say I'm sorry again that I, Um, 756 00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:14,120 Speaker 1: I did what I always hate that people do. Form 757 00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:16,480 Speaker 1: like I didn't get to know you before, you know, 758 00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:19,400 Speaker 1: I would never say what I said in the beginning. Um, 759 00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:21,719 Speaker 1: now knowing you, so I just I'm thank you for 760 00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:23,560 Speaker 1: giving us the opportunity to get to know you. I'm 761 00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:27,279 Speaker 1: excited to watch Tiger on HBO Max and whenever you're 762 00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:30,759 Speaker 1: in Nasha, let me know. Thank you. And I just 763 00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:33,279 Speaker 1: wanted to say I really hope the best for the 764 00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:36,880 Speaker 1: two of you, and um, I am so honored to 765 00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:39,439 Speaker 1: have been on your program, and thank you so much 766 00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:43,719 Speaker 1: for giving me the opportunity to have your forgiveness. So 767 00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:46,600 Speaker 1: I really do want the best for you. Thank you 768 00:44:46,640 --> 00:45:00,360 Speaker 1: so much. I appreciate it. Have a good one, take care. Yeah, 769 00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:10,279 Speaker 1: we're alive him Mark Danielle. Everyone thought, Hi guys, I 770 00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:15,000 Speaker 1: think that went well. Yeah. Yeah, I mean I'm proud 771 00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:18,120 Speaker 1: of you. Yeah. I had so much anxiety because I 772 00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:20,200 Speaker 1: felt terrible when she's like, what did you say about me? 773 00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:21,440 Speaker 1: And I was like, oh my god, I said I 774 00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:23,879 Speaker 1: hated her, but I did. She was her face wasn't there, 775 00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:29,960 Speaker 1: you know, And that's just to show that, like, yeah, 776 00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:32,759 Speaker 1: I mean it's a show that well, that just goes 777 00:45:32,800 --> 00:45:36,400 Speaker 1: to show like how much like when someone goes through pain, 778 00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:40,640 Speaker 1: like that amount of pain, how it. It inhibits your 779 00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:43,680 Speaker 1: judgment of somebody like it just it plagues your opinion 780 00:45:43,719 --> 00:45:46,680 Speaker 1: on people on another human being because of the pain 781 00:45:46,719 --> 00:45:50,520 Speaker 1: that you still hold in the trauma around it. So 782 00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:53,960 Speaker 1: that's that anybody going through that kind of trauma would 783 00:45:54,280 --> 00:45:57,320 Speaker 1: would No one can fault you. But also the people 784 00:45:57,360 --> 00:45:59,960 Speaker 1: that didn't go through it hater toot. I'm sure there's 785 00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:02,560 Speaker 1: people that hat they make up like, oh, she's just 786 00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:05,960 Speaker 1: a white stealer, you know. So it's like and I 787 00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:08,400 Speaker 1: always say, like for us, like, I know people hate me, 788 00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:10,239 Speaker 1: but get to know me first, then say you hate me, 789 00:46:10,920 --> 00:46:14,799 Speaker 1: you know, because you can't. Bet you can't. You'll wear 790 00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:20,160 Speaker 1: someone down, you will like me. So you know I 791 00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:22,960 Speaker 1: did what I always hate people due to us and so, 792 00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:26,280 Speaker 1: but Mark, would you think? I thought it was great 793 00:46:26,320 --> 00:46:28,920 Speaker 1: And I really love the honesty on everybody's part. I 794 00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:32,040 Speaker 1: love that you told her that I said you hated her. 795 00:46:32,080 --> 00:46:33,759 Speaker 1: I thought that was real because I'm sure she gets 796 00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:37,000 Speaker 1: that a lot. I'm sure she appreciated the opportunity to 797 00:46:37,120 --> 00:46:40,560 Speaker 1: take someone who hates her in respond to Yeah, respond 798 00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:42,920 Speaker 1: to health was really good in a healthy way. Yeah. 799 00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:45,840 Speaker 1: I thought it was very raw and very real. I 800 00:46:45,920 --> 00:46:47,880 Speaker 1: just have like I feel like I have an elephant 801 00:46:47,880 --> 00:46:50,720 Speaker 1: sitting on my chest. It's just like or it's like 802 00:46:50,719 --> 00:46:53,880 Speaker 1: like that exact that anxiety. You know. Sure, well, I'm 803 00:46:53,960 --> 00:46:55,759 Speaker 1: proud of you and how you handled it, and I'm 804 00:46:55,760 --> 00:46:58,120 Speaker 1: sorry for the triggers that came up, but I'm sorry 805 00:46:58,280 --> 00:47:00,719 Speaker 1: for YouTube. I know it's not easy for you your 806 00:47:00,719 --> 00:47:04,719 Speaker 1: side as well. But I think you know, this was 807 00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:07,399 Speaker 1: good for maybe two people to hear so they can 808 00:47:07,440 --> 00:47:11,240 Speaker 1: take maybe that anger, that pain that they have towards 809 00:47:11,320 --> 00:47:15,120 Speaker 1: the third party or towards their significant other and if 810 00:47:15,160 --> 00:47:17,040 Speaker 1: it didn't even happen to you, just in general, and 811 00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:19,480 Speaker 1: like that person's or whatever right and is realized that 812 00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:21,799 Speaker 1: they're still a human being and they have their own, yeah, 813 00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:23,640 Speaker 1: and their own issues. And you don't know the whole story. 814 00:47:23,840 --> 00:47:26,040 Speaker 1: You don't. I mean to lose someone in nine eleven, 815 00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:28,520 Speaker 1: to lose her father to this, like it's not an excuse, 816 00:47:28,600 --> 00:47:31,879 Speaker 1: but like Michael says, it's an explanation. Yes, it can 817 00:47:31,920 --> 00:47:34,920 Speaker 1: explain a lot of your actions throughout your life. Oh, 818 00:47:34,960 --> 00:47:36,680 Speaker 1: I was researching while we were talking to you you on 819 00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:38,200 Speaker 1: the picture of her on the cover of the New 820 00:47:38,280 --> 00:47:41,160 Speaker 1: York Post right after nine eleven holding the picture of 821 00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:45,640 Speaker 1: her missing husband. I mean it's hard not Yeah, it's 822 00:47:45,640 --> 00:47:48,040 Speaker 1: hard not to feel for her when you see that photo. Agreed. 823 00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:52,160 Speaker 1: Oh man, I can't even. Um, I actually do want 824 00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:55,200 Speaker 1: to watch Tiger because I like Tiger, even though I've 825 00:47:55,280 --> 00:47:59,279 Speaker 1: said some things you know about them as well, but 826 00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:02,200 Speaker 1: he's yeah, I want to watch it. I want to 827 00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:08,440 Speaker 1: watch her out at Me and Rachel are busties. So um, yeah, 828 00:48:08,800 --> 00:48:13,720 Speaker 1: I'm excited. Everyone watched Tiger on HBO, HBO Max, HBO Max, 829 00:48:13,760 --> 00:48:20,000 Speaker 1: and uh we have yeah, we have a really amazing 830 00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:25,600 Speaker 1: few episodes coming up. Uh Steven, oh my god, I'm 831 00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:29,120 Speaker 1: a prema scene. Stephen Colletti and James Lafferty are going 832 00:48:29,160 --> 00:48:33,160 Speaker 1: to be coming up soon on the next few episodes. 833 00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:36,200 Speaker 1: So um, stay tuned, and thanks for getting through that 834 00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:38,680 Speaker 1: podcast with those guys. We did it together. We did 835 00:48:38,680 --> 00:48:42,239 Speaker 1: it together. We hope it helps. Okay, let's go make 836 00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:50,920 Speaker 1: love baby bye.