1 00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:06,080 Speaker 1: What matters is that your coach is taking care of 2 00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:08,640 Speaker 1: your child, that your coach loves your child as a 3 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,320 Speaker 1: person more than as an athlete. What matters is that 4 00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:15,680 Speaker 1: the coach is creating a learning environment that's in orching, empowering, inspiring. 5 00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:17,720 Speaker 1: That's what we're paying for it. What matters is that 6 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:20,799 Speaker 1: they learned these lessons when it comes to solidarity and 7 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:24,680 Speaker 1: leadership and having good life happens. That's why we're having 8 00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:28,280 Speaker 1: our children play sports. This is the Reformed Sports Project, 9 00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:31,680 Speaker 1: a podcast about restoring healthy balance and perspective in all 10 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:35,720 Speaker 1: areas of sports through education and advocacy. Hi, this is 11 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:39,200 Speaker 1: Nick Bonacore from the Reformed Sports Project podcast. My guest 12 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:43,159 Speaker 1: today is Sky Eddie, founder of Soccer Parenting Association and 13 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:47,160 Speaker 1: the Sideline Project, to organizations designed to improve the youth 14 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:52,360 Speaker 1: sports experience by providing educational resources on parenting and athlete development. 15 00:00:52,479 --> 00:00:55,880 Speaker 1: A standout multi sport athlete, Sky is a former professional 16 00:00:55,920 --> 00:01:00,800 Speaker 1: soccer player, collegiate and Youth All American goalkeeper, three defensive 17 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:04,240 Speaker 1: MVP of the Final Four, and state champion track athlete. 18 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:07,880 Speaker 1: Sky and I discussed why coaches should proactively set boundaries 19 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:11,200 Speaker 1: with parents, how parents can better regulate their emotions before 20 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:14,000 Speaker 1: the card right home, and the importance of mentorship not 21 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:19,080 Speaker 1: only for children but also adults freaking excited another awesome. 22 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:22,080 Speaker 1: Guests were very very fortunate to have her on. We 23 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:24,000 Speaker 1: go back a little bit of time now we we 24 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:26,920 Speaker 1: spoke a few years ago. We actually spoke together UM 25 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:30,200 Speaker 1: at a conference. I watched her do a keynote UM 26 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:32,880 Speaker 1: super Pumps. She is definitely an advocate in the youth 27 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 1: sports space, a former complete stud on the soccer field, 28 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:41,240 Speaker 1: the goalkeeper, founder of soccer Parenting dot com and many 29 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:44,440 Speaker 1: other projects out there. Sky Eddie Scott, thank you so 30 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:47,800 Speaker 1: much for hopping on. Thanks thanks for having me. Looking 31 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:51,080 Speaker 1: forward to chat here. Well, I appreciate you and I 32 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:53,960 Speaker 1: know you know you're very much entrenched in the space. 33 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:56,240 Speaker 1: You do a ton of work and push out a 34 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:59,840 Speaker 1: lot of content, many resources with soccer parenting, I guess 35 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:01,560 Speaker 1: so want to start here. You know, as someone who 36 00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:03,720 Speaker 1: played at a very very high level, you coach your 37 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:06,160 Speaker 1: sports parent as well to dig in a little bit 38 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:09,280 Speaker 1: and give give the listeners some background. Soccer parenting dot 39 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:12,200 Speaker 1: com like when did you start that? What made you 40 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:16,320 Speaker 1: start that? Catch us up here? Sure? Absolutely well, I 41 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:19,800 Speaker 1: started soccer parenting just sort of as a passion project, 42 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:23,760 Speaker 1: a blog writing here and there as my daughter Kellie 43 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:27,119 Speaker 1: was coming up in the game playing soccer. She's now 44 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:30,880 Speaker 1: just got ready to graduate from college playing at Emerson 45 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:34,720 Speaker 1: up in Boston. UM. So it was a while ago. UM, 46 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:37,480 Speaker 1: but really just as so many people that are listening 47 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:42,639 Speaker 1: can relate to, is just feeling stressed and recognizing the 48 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:46,560 Speaker 1: fact that collaborative relationships with coaches and parents would be 49 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:49,600 Speaker 1: in the best interest of her development, and just really 50 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:53,360 Speaker 1: just started writing a little bit about that, writing about development, 51 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:55,880 Speaker 1: writing about the experiences I was having as a parent, 52 00:02:56,160 --> 00:03:00,239 Speaker 1: the struggles I was having parent in her mentality very 53 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:02,440 Speaker 1: different than mine, and that led to a lot of 54 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:05,000 Speaker 1: stress that she and I. So it really just started 55 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,520 Speaker 1: as a passion project that it's built into a company 56 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:10,560 Speaker 1: that's influencing and the U sports space. We're really proud 57 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:13,200 Speaker 1: of the work we're doing. UM. You have a couple 58 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:17,680 Speaker 1: hundred club partners, state associations, leagues. UM. But at the 59 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:19,720 Speaker 1: time does errors we will have announced we're just partnering 60 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:22,639 Speaker 1: with the Growths Academy. UH. Still really working to get 61 00:03:22,639 --> 00:03:25,920 Speaker 1: our education platform into the hands of parents because we 62 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:28,960 Speaker 1: do believe that education is an essential component of engagement. 63 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:31,959 Speaker 1: Your story sounds a lot like mine. Uh, this Reformed 64 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:34,800 Speaker 1: Sports project was you know, birth as a result of 65 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:37,120 Speaker 1: of me kind of you know, just seeing and from 66 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:39,240 Speaker 1: my own experience as a baseball player and then coaching 67 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:41,360 Speaker 1: my kids and just seeing the culture and just add 68 00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:44,320 Speaker 1: this burning desire that like I needed to to speak 69 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,880 Speaker 1: or say something or try to just you know, I 70 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:49,000 Speaker 1: did my own due diligence and saw what was out there. 71 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:51,160 Speaker 1: Of course I came across your work. What are some 72 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:53,680 Speaker 1: things in particular, like I guess if you talk about 73 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:56,360 Speaker 1: the on the parenting side, you know, things that maybe 74 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:59,600 Speaker 1: you saw happening, whether it's in the club culture, per 75 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:02,560 Speaker 1: se um in youth. Because you mentioned the word development, 76 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:04,640 Speaker 1: that's a big word that we talked about a lot 77 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:06,600 Speaker 1: as a sports parent. What are some things that you 78 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:10,040 Speaker 1: thought maybe spawn like, hey, we need to talk about 79 00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:13,640 Speaker 1: some things that need to be righted in this culture. Yeah. 80 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:16,039 Speaker 1: I mean the foundation to our work at our core 81 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:19,520 Speaker 1: parenting is this concept of trust. Next, So everything we 82 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:22,320 Speaker 1: talk about and we really do believe that establishing trust 83 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:26,440 Speaker 1: is going to be uh facilitate a lot of the change, 84 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:29,680 Speaker 1: the culture change, the behavior change, that we really need 85 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:32,120 Speaker 1: to see. So I do believe there's a lot of 86 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:38,400 Speaker 1: really sincerely, uh well meaning, well intentioned, fantastic coaches there 87 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:42,560 Speaker 1: are the vast majority of parents are level headed parents 88 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:46,159 Speaker 1: that are sometimes stressed. And so what was lacking in 89 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:50,120 Speaker 1: our youth sports ecosystem is this connection, is this collaboration, 90 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:53,560 Speaker 1: is a sense of trust amongst parents and coaches. We've 91 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:56,520 Speaker 1: never really defined the role adequately of a parent and 92 00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:59,599 Speaker 1: use sports and what that means, and so parents really 93 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,080 Speaker 1: didn't have an agency in the space, in the space 94 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:05,479 Speaker 1: in which they have tremendous influence over the experience of 95 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:09,800 Speaker 1: their childs. And so by developing parent engagement programs, by 96 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:14,560 Speaker 1: encouraging coaches to collaborate, encouraging clubs to rethink the role 97 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:17,760 Speaker 1: of the parent in the space, UM, I think we're 98 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:22,520 Speaker 1: making some progress in terms of uh, you know, giving 99 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:27,880 Speaker 1: everybody so much treated perspective. Uh and really just by 100 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:31,640 Speaker 1: opening the door to parents and giving them appropriate boundaries 101 00:05:32,279 --> 00:05:35,280 Speaker 1: really helps support the development of players. So what I've 102 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:38,440 Speaker 1: found is that we spend way too much time talking 103 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:41,479 Speaker 1: about the crazy sport experience. We spend way too much 104 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:45,400 Speaker 1: time talking about the coaches that don't have it right, 105 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:51,400 Speaker 1: and instead let's amplify the voices. Let's amplify the um 106 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:55,039 Speaker 1: the messages of the level headed parents and of the 107 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:58,680 Speaker 1: coaches that are doing tremendous work. And that's been our focus. 108 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,640 Speaker 1: I love a lot of the words you're using their 109 00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:02,760 Speaker 1: the educational piece because if you look at like you 110 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:05,800 Speaker 1: mentioned the ecosystem here, you know, parents certainly have a 111 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:08,520 Speaker 1: big say, right. You know, we're we're paying fees, right, 112 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:12,240 Speaker 1: we're transporting our kids, We're creating environment as best we 113 00:06:12,279 --> 00:06:14,960 Speaker 1: can is to give our kids the opportunity, um. But 114 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,280 Speaker 1: at the same time, we want to make sure our 115 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:20,680 Speaker 1: kids have the best experience. Right. So from a coaching aspect, though, 116 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:23,159 Speaker 1: you use the word boundary, right, So how do I 117 00:06:23,279 --> 00:06:26,440 Speaker 1: know as a parent what my just because I'm paying 118 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:29,440 Speaker 1: doesn't mean I can have influence on a lineup or 119 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:32,359 Speaker 1: a practice plan or whatever. But at the same time, 120 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:34,640 Speaker 1: my voice like, so, how do you create that healthy 121 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:38,159 Speaker 1: boundary or I guess you know, empower coaches and parents 122 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:40,359 Speaker 1: to be able to sit down at a table. Is 123 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:43,160 Speaker 1: it all just about communication? Like what's an educational piece 124 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:46,800 Speaker 1: that can get people on the same I guess playing field. Yeah, absolutely, 125 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:52,640 Speaker 1: it's a great question. Um so uh, I would say that, UM, 126 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:55,000 Speaker 1: I want to be really very clear because this can 127 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:59,200 Speaker 1: be misinterpreted because we all have such strong feelings about 128 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:02,120 Speaker 1: experiences is that we've had as coaches and working with parents, 129 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:04,799 Speaker 1: or experiences that we've had as parents with our children 130 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,919 Speaker 1: and working with the coaches. We have deep feelings about 131 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:10,360 Speaker 1: this one because it's our children and it matters, or 132 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:12,960 Speaker 1: two because we're a coach and care passionately about the 133 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,240 Speaker 1: work that we're doing, and so this stuff matters. And 134 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:18,120 Speaker 1: when you get burned, when you have a negative situation, 135 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:21,240 Speaker 1: that's what we tend to revert to. UM. So, I 136 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:24,840 Speaker 1: just want to be very very clear that those negative 137 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:28,840 Speaker 1: situations too often happen because we haven't been the work 138 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:32,680 Speaker 1: ahead of time to establish very clear boundaries and to 139 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:37,080 Speaker 1: establish trust. We haven't worked as coaches to talk um 140 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:40,400 Speaker 1: and engage with parents. UM. And I will say that 141 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:42,520 Speaker 1: when I'm talking about establishing boundaries, I want to give 142 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:45,920 Speaker 1: you some ideas. So absolutely not. Parents should not have 143 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:49,000 Speaker 1: any say over the starting light up. Parents should not 144 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:52,440 Speaker 1: have any say over any tactical decision or had any 145 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:55,880 Speaker 1: have any space where having a heated conversation with a 146 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:58,400 Speaker 1: coach about a tactical decision that they make during a 147 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:00,600 Speaker 1: game or a match. We need to be very clear 148 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:03,840 Speaker 1: and setting those boundaries, and so we work with coaches 149 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:07,800 Speaker 1: on and setting very clear boundaries and saying the door 150 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:10,000 Speaker 1: is open to you when you have a question about 151 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:13,120 Speaker 1: your child's level of inspiration, if they've come home from 152 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:16,200 Speaker 1: training or after games, after multiple games and they're not 153 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:18,360 Speaker 1: happy and they're thinking they don't want to play anymore, 154 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:21,120 Speaker 1: then absolutely the door is open to come talk to me. 155 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:23,360 Speaker 1: The door is open to to come talk to me 156 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,800 Speaker 1: if you have a question about the game itself. But 157 00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:28,320 Speaker 1: if let's say to you suffer an example, you want 158 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,920 Speaker 1: some deeper understanding on the difference between a direct or 159 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:33,400 Speaker 1: an indirect kick, or you offside loot of the game 160 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:36,559 Speaker 1: and want some guidance and some education on that, absolutely 161 00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:38,680 Speaker 1: come and talk to me about that. But the door 162 00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:40,400 Speaker 1: is closed. If you want to come and complain about 163 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:43,480 Speaker 1: another player, the doors closed unless it's a bullying type 164 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:45,920 Speaker 1: situation that needs to be you know, trying attention to. 165 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:47,560 Speaker 1: The door is closed if you want to come and 166 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:50,680 Speaker 1: talk to me about um about like they said, tactical 167 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:53,120 Speaker 1: decisions that I make during the match. And so we 168 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,280 Speaker 1: just need to be really clear with parents, and actually 169 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:57,640 Speaker 1: what we find with all the research around sense of 170 00:08:57,679 --> 00:09:00,840 Speaker 1: community and sense of community theory that boundaries are an 171 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:04,720 Speaker 1: essential component of feeling a sense of connection, and so 172 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:09,240 Speaker 1: parents will actually feel more supported and feel like they 173 00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:12,680 Speaker 1: have a space, that their influence matters when we go 174 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:14,920 Speaker 1: out of the way to have what could be them 175 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:17,559 Speaker 1: awkward conversations but really aren't if you go about them 176 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:20,960 Speaker 1: quicktly and just setting appropriate boundaries and being very very 177 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:23,840 Speaker 1: clear the doors open at the situations, the doors close 178 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:28,040 Speaker 1: to these situations. I love this question and I love 179 00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:31,320 Speaker 1: this topic because I feel like in so many ways 180 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:35,280 Speaker 1: this could be the make or break circumstance which you know, 181 00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:38,920 Speaker 1: would keep a kid regardless of the sport engaged or 182 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,840 Speaker 1: you know, wanting to stay involved versus the latter, And 183 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:44,040 Speaker 1: that would be the car ride home from an event. Right. 184 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:46,640 Speaker 1: So you're talking about creating space and boundaries between coach 185 00:09:46,679 --> 00:09:49,440 Speaker 1: and an athletes. And it's a very very very sensitive 186 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:54,320 Speaker 1: subject when someone's gonna try to tell me how to 187 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 1: be a parent, right, I mean not just me, but anybody. 188 00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:58,360 Speaker 1: I think that's a touchy subject that we have to 189 00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:00,800 Speaker 1: dance around. But I also think it's one where if 190 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:02,640 Speaker 1: I think I know all the answers on how to parent, well, 191 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:04,800 Speaker 1: I'm I'm setting myself up as a parent for failure. 192 00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:06,520 Speaker 1: So I need to be open minded this. But we're 193 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:09,679 Speaker 1: talking about the car ride home, right, that space where 194 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:12,440 Speaker 1: you know, there's so much emotion, so much energy, there's 195 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:15,319 Speaker 1: so much passion at times after a match, after a game, 196 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:18,440 Speaker 1: after a practice, after a workout, where we can become 197 00:10:18,559 --> 00:10:21,200 Speaker 1: very critical, we can be the opposite and not say 198 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:23,599 Speaker 1: a word like do you put out content blogs and 199 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:26,480 Speaker 1: such specifically geared to the car ride home and how 200 00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:29,560 Speaker 1: parents can either you know, have a positive impact in 201 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:33,800 Speaker 1: that in that scenario. There's so many other ways that 202 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:37,839 Speaker 1: parents influence the sports experience for their child. And the 203 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:41,800 Speaker 1: reason that the car ride home is hard is because 204 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:47,960 Speaker 1: we haven't done the backwork in educating parents around topics 205 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:54,200 Speaker 1: such as autonomy, development, around UH concepts of motivation, and 206 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:58,559 Speaker 1: so because parents actually don't have this research based information, 207 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:02,040 Speaker 1: they haven't been educated, they go and they revert and we, like, 208 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:05,120 Speaker 1: believe me, I have not been perfect here. We revert 209 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:09,680 Speaker 1: to our emotion and we revert to the stress that 210 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:12,120 Speaker 1: we are feeling during the game, and so it builds up, 211 00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:14,800 Speaker 1: It builds up, it builds up. Our child is underperforming, 212 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:18,400 Speaker 1: We feel our child is struggling, our child isn't paying attention, 213 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:22,199 Speaker 1: our child gets a foul called to guests and that 214 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:26,560 Speaker 1: they shouldn't have a response incorrectly and not appropriately. Whatever happens, 215 00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:30,200 Speaker 1: or we get frustrated because we cared too much about 216 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:32,240 Speaker 1: winning and we cared too much about the result, and 217 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:35,160 Speaker 1: that's a problem in itself. And so what happens is 218 00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:36,800 Speaker 1: that we get into the car and all of that 219 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:40,240 Speaker 1: emotion comes over. And so it's not so much the 220 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:43,160 Speaker 1: car ride home. It's all the work that we need 221 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:46,080 Speaker 1: to do ahead of time. It's educating parents on these 222 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:49,920 Speaker 1: different topics also like parenting strategies. If you're feeling stressed, 223 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:51,880 Speaker 1: you know, take five feet breaths before you get in 224 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,640 Speaker 1: the car from the music on Joan Oscar Trump. And 225 00:11:54,679 --> 00:11:57,360 Speaker 1: the other thing about the car ride home, let's just mentioned, 226 00:11:57,679 --> 00:12:00,679 Speaker 1: is that we know and you have you have many children, right, 227 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:03,199 Speaker 1: I have six? You want some because I'll gladly give 228 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:07,280 Speaker 1: you away, And they're all so different. So to say 229 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,000 Speaker 1: this is the way to handle the core r at 230 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:13,160 Speaker 1: home is impossible because it's situational in nature. Our children 231 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,200 Speaker 1: are different. Some of our kids would like to talk 232 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:17,520 Speaker 1: about it. Some of our kids child some of our 233 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:19,559 Speaker 1: kids think they like to talk about it, and then 234 00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:21,000 Speaker 1: they say yes, so we could talk about it, and 235 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:23,080 Speaker 1: then you start talking about it, then they shut down. 236 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:26,880 Speaker 1: So like this very situation is so different, and so 237 00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:29,600 Speaker 1: there isn't a right or wrong way. It's just like 238 00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:33,920 Speaker 1: basic parenting practices and it's basically love your kid and 239 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:36,200 Speaker 1: don't care too much about the game. Let all of 240 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:38,560 Speaker 1: that stuff swart itself out. And I say this even 241 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:41,440 Speaker 1: to the most high performing players, and then there's gonna 242 00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:43,080 Speaker 1: be somethings that they're listening. Now it's like I have 243 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:44,679 Speaker 1: to care, Like my kid wants this. I've got to 244 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:47,040 Speaker 1: be and they want to talk about it. That's great, 245 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:51,000 Speaker 1: but don't care yourself. Care how they feel, but don't 246 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:54,720 Speaker 1: like your emotion play into the experience that you're having 247 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:56,880 Speaker 1: or the interactions that you're having. Um you know, we 248 00:12:56,960 --> 00:13:01,359 Speaker 1: have simplot intervition Store parenting with um ants of professional 249 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:04,880 Speaker 1: players or professional players themselves talking about how their parents 250 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:08,560 Speaker 1: uh you know, interactive with them, and the general theme 251 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:11,240 Speaker 1: is um you know, Christian bros. And Dad Mark because 252 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:15,559 Speaker 1: saying their car r at home was McDonald's or seven eleven. 253 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:19,040 Speaker 1: That was pretty much his interactions with Christian Do you 254 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:21,360 Speaker 1: want to get a Slurpee? Orn't you want Big Mac? 255 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:25,280 Speaker 1: Was pretty much you know, their postgame conversations even with 256 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:28,040 Speaker 1: marketing a professional coach. So you've got to let your 257 00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:30,600 Speaker 1: kids fund their space because when we influence too much 258 00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:32,840 Speaker 1: and we try too hard, that's when it becomes about 259 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,960 Speaker 1: us and our children feel up and that's when they're 260 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:38,040 Speaker 1: lacking motivation in the long term. It's like, I love that. 261 00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:40,520 Speaker 1: It's like being able to inventory, like where why am 262 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:43,640 Speaker 1: I getting? Because I think it's normal to feel emotion 263 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:45,680 Speaker 1: right as a parent, whether you're you know, you get 264 00:13:45,679 --> 00:13:48,120 Speaker 1: excited for one way or the other. But I think 265 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:50,680 Speaker 1: it's knowing am I feeling this because it's about me 266 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:52,400 Speaker 1: and my ego? You know? I mean, like, am I 267 00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:55,679 Speaker 1: am I putting too much of my you know, identity 268 00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:59,280 Speaker 1: onto my kids performance? I think we need to stop 269 00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:01,680 Speaker 1: and actually just say for a second, is it normal 270 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:05,960 Speaker 1: to feel emotion like this? And maybe to actually maybe 271 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:09,480 Speaker 1: go back to that, like are we caring too much? 272 00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:12,160 Speaker 1: This is a game that's on a Saturday at two 273 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:15,800 Speaker 1: o'clock against a cross town rival. My child's fourteen, and 274 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:19,880 Speaker 1: I am caring way too much. This is actually not normal. 275 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:24,200 Speaker 1: We've normalized it in our society. But big picture, this 276 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,720 Speaker 1: is not normal pair of behavior. We're trying to raise 277 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:30,000 Speaker 1: a normal try. When we returned, Sky and I discussed 278 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:32,680 Speaker 1: what it means to be a transformational leader and why 279 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:43,960 Speaker 1: coaches should seek out mentorship. Welcome back. Where we left off, 280 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,360 Speaker 1: Sky and I were about to talk about the important 281 00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:50,640 Speaker 1: lessons that children should learn from playing sports. So I'm 282 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:53,960 Speaker 1: gonna ask you this because we all hear this, we 283 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:56,840 Speaker 1: all whatever, and yes this is true. Yes, Sky, You're 284 00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:58,960 Speaker 1: you're so right. Nick I love it, man, all your 285 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:01,640 Speaker 1: guests they're spot on, YadA, YadA YadA. But then my 286 00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:04,640 Speaker 1: kid wants to play for X y Z club or 287 00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:08,480 Speaker 1: travel team or whatever. Um they make the team. Um, 288 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:10,920 Speaker 1: they're on this team. But you know, and I'm paying 289 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:14,040 Speaker 1: three grand for four months whatever the number is, right, 290 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:18,040 Speaker 1: it's expensive. So with that said, there's a team that 291 00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:21,200 Speaker 1: ten minutes from here that wins all the time. Our 292 00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:25,120 Speaker 1: team is mediocre at best. Um, why am I paying 293 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:27,520 Speaker 1: this money for my kid to be on a team 294 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,760 Speaker 1: that sucks? Right? I mean, I'm trying to speak it 295 00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:33,440 Speaker 1: because that's so, you know, we want something for our 296 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,520 Speaker 1: How do we separate the wins? Because for me, listen, 297 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:38,720 Speaker 1: I am I am a big advocate of you know, 298 00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:41,560 Speaker 1: it's not about results, it's about you know, everything else 299 00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:45,280 Speaker 1: the results happen. We can't focus on performance and all 300 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:48,840 Speaker 1: of that. Yet I'm paying how do we get return 301 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:51,280 Speaker 1: on our investment? And losing does suck? And some people 302 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:53,360 Speaker 1: will argue if we lose, my kid won't want to 303 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:55,920 Speaker 1: play anymore because that's not fun, whereas there's research that's 304 00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:58,320 Speaker 1: done that winning isn't even what keeps kids playing. Can 305 00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:01,440 Speaker 1: you get into that? Yeah? Yeah, I mean I think 306 00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:03,560 Speaker 1: there's so many things that just we need to stop 307 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,560 Speaker 1: from what you're saying. And they're like, wait, where did 308 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:07,520 Speaker 1: that come from? Wait? Where did that come from? Because 309 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:10,720 Speaker 1: what happens is that these ideas and these narratives just 310 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:15,200 Speaker 1: get replayed in our society and they're actually not true. Like, 311 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:18,000 Speaker 1: like I survey parents and ask them how much just 312 00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:20,440 Speaker 1: winning matter? Two? And it doesn't matter to parent either. 313 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:23,560 Speaker 1: What matters is that your coach is taking care of 314 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:26,280 Speaker 1: your child, that your coach loves your child as a 315 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,760 Speaker 1: person more than they love them as an athlete. What 316 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:31,440 Speaker 1: matters is that the coach is creating a learning environment 317 00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:35,760 Speaker 1: that's in urging, empowering, inspiring. That's what we want, that's 318 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:38,480 Speaker 1: what we're paying for. What matters is that our children 319 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,840 Speaker 1: feel a deep connection to their teammates, that they learn 320 00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:44,280 Speaker 1: these lessons that we want them to learn. When it 321 00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:49,280 Speaker 1: comes to solidarity and leadership and being fit and healthy 322 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:52,280 Speaker 1: and having good life hapits like, uh, you know, that's 323 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:55,440 Speaker 1: why we're having our children play sports. And the whole 324 00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:57,640 Speaker 1: payment or they not payment, you know, that's a whole 325 00:16:57,640 --> 00:17:00,560 Speaker 1: another conversation. But to dive in a little deeper, another 326 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:03,760 Speaker 1: concept of if they're winning or not, I think what 327 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,560 Speaker 1: happens and this is this is a lot of the 328 00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:08,600 Speaker 1: work that I'm doing when it comes to coach education 329 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:12,920 Speaker 1: is around concepts of emotional intelligence in coaching is having 330 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:16,760 Speaker 1: the sense of self confident self awareness because losing is hard, 331 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:19,920 Speaker 1: and as a coach, when you're losing, if you're not confident, 332 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:23,199 Speaker 1: if you haven't had some education around these topics, if 333 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:26,040 Speaker 1: you're not really clear on what your why is, and 334 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:28,760 Speaker 1: if you're not expressing it very clearly to parents in 335 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:30,960 Speaker 1: terms of the influence that you want to have in 336 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,840 Speaker 1: their lives. Of their children, of their families, of the community. 337 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:37,280 Speaker 1: If you're not really confident about that, then as a coach, 338 00:17:37,359 --> 00:17:39,680 Speaker 1: we revert back to the winning, and then we get 339 00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:41,800 Speaker 1: stressed about it, and then it just lends itself to 340 00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:45,160 Speaker 1: the stressful environment. And so as coaches, you know, we 341 00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:47,480 Speaker 1: have to lead this space, and we have to lead 342 00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:51,399 Speaker 1: about what's important. And a team that loses repeatedly, I 343 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:54,080 Speaker 1: mean I wished the team two years ago. We lost 344 00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:57,320 Speaker 1: every game except for at the end of the season. 345 00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,600 Speaker 1: We finally because we were put in the wrong league. 346 00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:02,679 Speaker 1: Like the girls just battled every week, but we were 347 00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:04,960 Speaker 1: playing against teams that were just better than us. There 348 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:08,280 Speaker 1: was there is there. That was what the situation was. 349 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:09,919 Speaker 1: And then at the end of the season, we got 350 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:12,040 Speaker 1: put in a tournament, were put in the right level, 351 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:14,919 Speaker 1: and we I can't even remember now if we I 352 00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:17,280 Speaker 1: don't know, you could read the article. We either bost 353 00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:20,040 Speaker 1: in the final or we won. I literally don't remember. 354 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:23,639 Speaker 1: That's something consequential it is to me. But the parents 355 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:25,639 Speaker 1: were so supportive throughout the whole season. That is what 356 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:28,080 Speaker 1: the concept of the article was. Because you have to 357 00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:29,960 Speaker 1: look back and you have to see the development that's 358 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:33,000 Speaker 1: happening now you're in a team that's losing. The coach 359 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:36,080 Speaker 1: is losing it and not holding it together. The kids 360 00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:39,640 Speaker 1: are falling apart, there's not good leadership, like then everything 361 00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:42,879 Speaker 1: falls apart at that point. So really what we're saying 362 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,879 Speaker 1: is that we need to win. We need good leaders 363 00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:48,880 Speaker 1: influencing our children. Is really what we're saying about this, 364 00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:52,679 Speaker 1: And that's why coaching matters, and why coaching education matters, 365 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:56,480 Speaker 1: and why clubs and leaderships living clubs that are influencing 366 00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:59,840 Speaker 1: the coaches matter, um And I do. I will say, 367 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,640 Speaker 1: they will say something I am very clear about since 368 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,120 Speaker 1: I started on this path is that this is getting better. 369 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:08,600 Speaker 1: That the quality of our coaches, the quality of our leadership, 370 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:12,280 Speaker 1: the quality of the education coaches are curious about receiving, 371 00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:16,159 Speaker 1: is definitely getting better. Our leadership is getting better and 372 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,840 Speaker 1: new sports So that does be tremendous hope in the 373 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:20,919 Speaker 1: future for our children. But we do have a lot 374 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,159 Speaker 1: of work to do, and a lot of it is 375 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:26,080 Speaker 1: structural in nature, um, meaning how leaks are formed and 376 00:19:26,359 --> 00:19:28,399 Speaker 1: those types of things. So you know, there's there's some 377 00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:32,440 Speaker 1: roadblocks to solving our issues, but we're definitely getting better. 378 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:35,600 Speaker 1: You know. For that, I'm quite optimistic. What's it mean 379 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,679 Speaker 1: because I'll hear I'll hear it a lot, and I 380 00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:39,320 Speaker 1: know what it means. But I'd love for you to 381 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:41,840 Speaker 1: kind of dig into what it means the differences between 382 00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:45,159 Speaker 1: being because I think what you're talking about with coaching 383 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:47,320 Speaker 1: this is a great It was a great segue between 384 00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:50,760 Speaker 1: being a transformational versus being a transactional coach. I often 385 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:53,639 Speaker 1: hear people say early in my career, I was transaction 386 00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:56,480 Speaker 1: but then I realized and turned into a transformational coach. 387 00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:58,880 Speaker 1: Can you talk about the differences, and I guess pros 388 00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:03,160 Speaker 1: and cons Well, I will say there's really very few 389 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:07,439 Speaker 1: pros of being just a transactional to say that we 390 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:09,880 Speaker 1: all need to aspire to be transformational. I mean that's 391 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:12,600 Speaker 1: the gift coaching. That's when all the great things happen, 392 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,840 Speaker 1: Transformational conversations that we get to have with children, with 393 00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:19,000 Speaker 1: their families, with their parents. I mean, like that is 394 00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:23,160 Speaker 1: what makes us walk in the door after a long 395 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:27,480 Speaker 1: weekend tournament, sitting down on our couch and having this 396 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:33,560 Speaker 1: sense of real just uh, inspiration or feeling like you know, 397 00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:37,040 Speaker 1: great things are happening. Is when we can become transformational. Um, 398 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,960 Speaker 1: it's it's really, I think this is also changing a 399 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:42,160 Speaker 1: little bit. I mean, coaches have a tendency it has 400 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,919 Speaker 1: to do. I don't like to call it ego. I 401 00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:47,720 Speaker 1: call it insecurity. I call it lack of lack of 402 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:51,400 Speaker 1: self awareness, because ego is such a negative concept of 403 00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:54,560 Speaker 1: being that ego filled coach. Like really, it's just that 404 00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:58,439 Speaker 1: young coaches or coaches that are experienced don't have the 405 00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:03,679 Speaker 1: education and don't this deeper understanding of themselves and until 406 00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:06,240 Speaker 1: they could build their emotional intelligence, until they're willing to 407 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:09,879 Speaker 1: go there and to learn these lessons and self awareness, 408 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:14,520 Speaker 1: self trust, um, social awareness, social management, self management, until 409 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:17,880 Speaker 1: we can start driving into what great coaches look like. Um, 410 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:20,440 Speaker 1: you know, that's when we transition into being a transformational 411 00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,639 Speaker 1: I will say I have been so lucky in my 412 00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:25,280 Speaker 1: coaching career. You know, I'm an active coach. I might 413 00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,760 Speaker 1: be licensed with the US Soccer and the Coach Educator 414 00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:30,960 Speaker 1: with US Soccer and work for over fifteen years for 415 00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:35,000 Speaker 1: Dr mcnick and Tony Tuchico. I've had some incredible mentors 416 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:37,760 Speaker 1: as coaches in my life. I've also had some not 417 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,040 Speaker 1: great coaches in my life to to be able to 418 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:46,160 Speaker 1: compare against. But being a transformational coach is something that 419 00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:48,879 Speaker 1: I believe came really really easy to meet because of 420 00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:52,200 Speaker 1: the mentorship that I had from the very beginning. And so, 421 00:21:52,359 --> 00:21:54,320 Speaker 1: you know, if anything, I think in this topic we 422 00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:58,720 Speaker 1: can just highlight the need for mentorship and highlight the 423 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:03,080 Speaker 1: need for coach is to go a little bit deeper 424 00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:07,880 Speaker 1: and see game relationships with people who who they respect, 425 00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:10,240 Speaker 1: and we're willing to kind of show them a lot 426 00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:12,800 Speaker 1: of times you hear that some coaches when they have children. 427 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,560 Speaker 1: I don't like highlighting this because I don't want coaches 428 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:17,240 Speaker 1: that don't have children to feel like you have to 429 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:19,720 Speaker 1: have a child to feel this in order to be transformational. 430 00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,560 Speaker 1: But we have to acknowledge that very often that shift 431 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:25,200 Speaker 1: between being transactional and transformational happens when you have a 432 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:29,200 Speaker 1: child yourself, and all of a sudden, you go, oh wow, 433 00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:31,560 Speaker 1: there's no way I couldn't even talk to that child 434 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:34,040 Speaker 1: like that anymore. There's no way I could even think 435 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,359 Speaker 1: about the child that way anymore, because now I'm seeing 436 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:40,040 Speaker 1: children just differently because I understand that I have this 437 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:43,679 Speaker 1: deeper bond with kids being a parent myself. You know, 438 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:47,639 Speaker 1: I I look at it transformational versus transactional it's kind 439 00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:50,000 Speaker 1: of like your experience. I've had amazing coaches that I'm 440 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,479 Speaker 1: still you know, that impact my entire life, and then 441 00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:54,359 Speaker 1: others where you felt like you were just a player 442 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:56,480 Speaker 1: on their team. Um, and I think it's one of 443 00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:58,199 Speaker 1: those where when I reflect back on it, one are 444 00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:00,359 Speaker 1: the coaches that I want to as an adult now, 445 00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:02,520 Speaker 1: who I still keep in contact with, who I want 446 00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:04,280 Speaker 1: to ask for advice. You know, we're the ones that 447 00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:06,040 Speaker 1: looked at me or made me feel like I was 448 00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:08,640 Speaker 1: I was more than just an athlete on their team, 449 00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:11,239 Speaker 1: who really dug deep and ultimately that helped make me 450 00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:13,879 Speaker 1: want to compete harder. It help, you know, touch places 451 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:16,359 Speaker 1: in my in my spirit or in my soul. You 452 00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:18,600 Speaker 1: know through the way they engage with me, that that 453 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:20,919 Speaker 1: made me want to become a better not just player, 454 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,480 Speaker 1: baseball player or whatever it was, but become a better person. 455 00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:25,679 Speaker 1: And you know, to me, that is what it is. 456 00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:28,600 Speaker 1: It's it's getting to know or building relationship that that 457 00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:31,960 Speaker 1: transcends just the sport and really trying to impact your life. 458 00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:33,880 Speaker 1: And you know, I know you and I we can 459 00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:35,359 Speaker 1: talk about this for a long time, and I agree 460 00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:36,800 Speaker 1: with you that is a topic you can spend a 461 00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:39,159 Speaker 1: lot of time talking on such an important aspect of it. 462 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:41,480 Speaker 1: One of the reasons I coach. But you know, we're 463 00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:44,040 Speaker 1: coming up on time. I really want people because I 464 00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:46,280 Speaker 1: love your content. I love what you're putting out there. 465 00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:48,600 Speaker 1: You can do so much work, you have so much influence, 466 00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:51,000 Speaker 1: and you're doing so many amazing things. Where can they 467 00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:52,879 Speaker 1: find you? One of the best ways to connect with you. 468 00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:54,359 Speaker 1: Can you kind of just take a few minutes and 469 00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:56,480 Speaker 1: lead people so we can we can you know, find 470 00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:59,920 Speaker 1: this stuff you're putting out there. Absolutely um thinks think 471 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:03,840 Speaker 1: I appreciate your support there. And my website is I 472 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,359 Speaker 1: have to have two sites. There is one is the 473 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:11,360 Speaker 1: Sideline Project. So the Sideline Project is a educational platform 474 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:15,640 Speaker 1: that we've launched across all sport. It is tackling sideline behavior. 475 00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:19,639 Speaker 1: It's a fifteen minute course that parents buy access to 476 00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:22,439 Speaker 1: the clubs buy access to part their parents and the 477 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:26,879 Speaker 1: results are really, really exciting. It's an intervention that's working. 478 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,119 Speaker 1: Sixty percent of parents that take the course say their 479 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:32,320 Speaker 1: sideline behavior improved. For parents who take the course say 480 00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:34,760 Speaker 1: their relationship with their child improved as a result of 481 00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:38,040 Speaker 1: taking a fifteen minute of course. Because nobody has taken 482 00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:41,280 Speaker 1: the time to educate parents. We've given them lollypops, you know, 483 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,600 Speaker 1: like I said, just stop talking or you know, whatever 484 00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:45,960 Speaker 1: it is. But when we could actually get into some 485 00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:49,440 Speaker 1: research and educate parents and their behavior will change. Um, 486 00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:51,600 Speaker 1: And so we're really excited about the Sideline Project. You 487 00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:55,360 Speaker 1: can find my contact information there. Uh. You can also 488 00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:58,720 Speaker 1: find my contact information at soccer Parenting dot com. Um 489 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:03,600 Speaker 1: that is our public facing site. Uh that uh you 490 00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:08,400 Speaker 1: don't find a blog and various information related to parent education, 491 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:13,120 Speaker 1: coach education, club engagement. Our education platform is Soccer parent 492 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:17,040 Speaker 1: Resource Center. So this is a membership education platform that 493 00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:20,439 Speaker 1: we've developed. We have around twenty thousand members. Clubs are 494 00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:23,919 Speaker 1: buying access for their parents and we are deep driving 495 00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:28,400 Speaker 1: into education and it's it's all content that's created specifically 496 00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:31,600 Speaker 1: for soccer parents related to the body, the mind, the game, 497 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:34,880 Speaker 1: the coach, club relationship, the next level whatever that means 498 00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:38,120 Speaker 1: for your child and parenting itself. So Soccer Parenting dot 499 00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:41,560 Speaker 1: com where the Sideline Project dot com and then you 500 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:45,240 Speaker 1: can um find me on Twitter at Soccer Parenting is 501 00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:47,080 Speaker 1: probably the best way. The d ms are open there, 502 00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:52,240 Speaker 1: but we're also on Instagram, Sky Eddie freaking stud soccer 503 00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:53,960 Speaker 1: parent I love it. Cannot thank you know for coming 504 00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:57,000 Speaker 1: on sharing. Go check out her stuff. It's legit. I've 505 00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,800 Speaker 1: heard her speak. She is an absolute boss and she 506 00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:03,200 Speaker 1: has a heart, and she she practicing what she preaches. 507 00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:04,840 Speaker 1: So thank you again so much for coming on in 508 00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:07,320 Speaker 1: Sharon's God. Oh thanks so much. Thanks for having me 509 00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:09,320 Speaker 1: appreciate it. Thanks for all the great work you're doing. 510 00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:12,919 Speaker 1: This face as well. That's Sky Eddie, youth sports advocate 511 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:16,000 Speaker 1: and founder of Soccer Parenting. Thanks for listening to the 512 00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:19,320 Speaker 1: Reformed Sports Project podcast dom Nick Boncourt and Our goal 513 00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:22,000 Speaker 1: is to restore a healthy balance and perspective in all 514 00:26:22,119 --> 00:26:25,760 Speaker 1: areas of sports through education and advocacy. For updates, please 515 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:28,920 Speaker 1: follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, or check out 516 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,560 Speaker 1: our website by searching for the Reform Sports Project