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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcast and we have

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Speaker 1: some foundational stories coming up for you. But the thing

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Speaker 1: is this foundation needs a little support from these sponsors.

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Speaker 1: So stick around two minutes and we'll get into the episode.

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Speaker 2: My ex wife is furious because I gave our daughter

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Speaker 2: the freedom she never had.

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Speaker 3: Ooh, let her fly free.

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Speaker 2: I have forty three male, have a daughter sixteen female,

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Speaker 2: who I have joined custody over with my ex wife

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Speaker 2: thirty nine female. We got divorced when my daughter was

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Speaker 2: a baby and the court awarded fifty to fifty custody

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Speaker 2: for the both of us. I will admit though being

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Speaker 2: a doctor comes with its consequences, I haven't been as

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Speaker 2: present as I wish I could have been.

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Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from uh doc.

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Speaker 2: I am tired, And if you want to submit your

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Speaker 2: own stories, go to the r s lash Okay Storytime,

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Speaker 2: Separate it and I'm Angie.

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Speaker 5: I'm Carly.

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Speaker 2: We're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't

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Speaker 2: have all the answers. We're just gonna guess what we

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Speaker 2: would do in this situation. So let us know what

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Speaker 2: you would do. In the comments, so Op says, when

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Speaker 2: my daughter was thirteen, she started telling me things that

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Speaker 2: her mom does or rules that she has in place

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Speaker 2: over her, and how she thinks it's unfair. I would

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Speaker 2: listen to her and advise her to talk to her mom.

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Speaker 2: Her My daughter would then ask if she has to

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Speaker 2: obey those rules over here still, to which I said no.

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Speaker 2: At first, it was just small stuff that I find nitpicky,

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Speaker 2: things like not being able to eat in the living room.

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Speaker 2: As she's gotten older, she's started making more requests for

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Speaker 2: privileges in my house, and it's pretty much gone like this.

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Speaker 2: Example one, Mom doesn't let me hang out with friends

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Speaker 2: during the week. Well, that's dumb. If you have a

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Speaker 2: ride there and back, you can go with your friends.

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Speaker 4: Sample two.

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Speaker 2: Mom doesn't let me wear comfortable clothes around the house.

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Speaker 2: She says, I have to dress modestly. You can walk

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Speaker 2: around the house unclothed for all I care. Example three.

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Speaker 2: You and Mom's houses don't have locks. On my bedroom door.

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Speaker 2: There isn't a lock. I can call a guy out

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Speaker 2: and have him put a lock in it if you want.

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Speaker 2: Example four, Mom does let me drink soda? Do you

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Speaker 2: want soda? If so I can order it with our

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Speaker 2: groceries from Hive. You get the idea. I don't want

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Speaker 2: to say I've become a doormat for my daughter, but

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Speaker 2: I'm just not as stingy about rules. It's her house

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Speaker 2: just as much as mine in my eyes. My ex

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Speaker 2: wife recently has been going off on my daughter and

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Speaker 2: I about how I am letting her get away with

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Speaker 2: any and everything, and how my lack of discipline in

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Speaker 2: my house is leading to her break the rules in

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Speaker 2: her mother's house. I told my ex wife that she

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Speaker 2: should ease up on our daughter because she's almost a

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Speaker 2: dang adult and doesn't need to be treated like a toddler.

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Speaker 2: My ex wife went Banana's over the phone with me,

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Speaker 2: and at her house she went off on my daughter

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Speaker 2: for being an undisciplined brat. My ex wife is threatening

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Speaker 2: to take me to court for custody if I don't

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Speaker 2: straighten up my act, and I told her she can

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Speaker 2: kiss my butt. It has me wondering, though, am I

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Speaker 2: being an a hole to my ex wife?

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Speaker 4: Is this bad dad behavior?

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Speaker 2: I want my daughter to feel safe, comfortable, and happy,

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Speaker 2: and I want to believe if I'm doing that, if

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Speaker 2: I am being an a hole to my ex wife,

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Speaker 2: what do I do?

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Speaker 4: And there are some relevant comments, but what do you think?

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Speaker 5: Part of me is like, excuse me. Part of me

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Speaker 5: is like there should be some sort of united front

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Speaker 5: when it comes to like raising a kid together of

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Speaker 5: like how are we gonna raise this kid? What values

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Speaker 5: do we do that we agree on? At the same point,

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Speaker 5: it's like tough because you guys aren't together anymore. Right,

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Speaker 5: But some of those things I definitely think she should

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Speaker 5: be allowed to have. I think she has a right

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Speaker 5: to not have to be like formal to walk around

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Speaker 5: at the house. I don't think she should walk around naked.

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Speaker 4: Like you said, right, Yeah, I don't think so either.

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Speaker 5: But uh, like it's a give and take, Like she

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Speaker 5: definitely seems too harsh with some of her things, but

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Speaker 5: I don't know that i'd be going against all of them.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you guys should just have a conversation

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Speaker 2: and just like like I wouldn't call you the a

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Speaker 2: hole because like I get your perspective. Yeah, the mom

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Speaker 2: also probably has her perspective too, like maybe she doesn't

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Speaker 2: want her seeing friends in the middle of the week

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Speaker 2: because she has homework or something, you know, So it's

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Speaker 2: like maybe ask first why we're having those rules and

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Speaker 2: what she's seeing that he might not be, and then compromise.

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Speaker 5: And also could there be like if you guys have

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Speaker 5: that conversation, would mom let up a little bit at

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Speaker 5: her house? And then it's like we can come to

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Speaker 5: this light in established like all agreed upon ways and

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Speaker 5: daughter will enjoy both places.

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Speaker 2: Because either way, like, even if it's something that you

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Speaker 2: don't agree with, having those polar opposite places for your

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Speaker 2: kid is going to have like probably a worse impact

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Speaker 2: on your kid than those strict rules. So yeah, but

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Speaker 2: we do have some comments. How much A number one

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Speaker 2: says not the ahole, the clothes, and the door lock

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Speaker 2: concern me. Is your ex remarried? Are there other kids

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Speaker 2: in the house? Policing what she wears at home and

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Speaker 2: calling it modest makes it seem like your child is

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Speaker 2: some sort of spicy related object and not a kid.

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Speaker 2: Then the lock, it really sounds like she wants to

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Speaker 2: keep people out. You should ask her about that more

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Speaker 2: in depth. The other things some people are more strict

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Speaker 2: on than other. Your ex cannot control what happens in

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Speaker 2: your house, whether she likes it or not.

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Speaker 4: You are an equal parent.

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Speaker 2: Opie says, now that you mentioned the lock, thing that

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Speaker 2: does seem concerning. I've just passed it off as she

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Speaker 2: wants her own privacy and left it as that. Before

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Speaker 2: my daughter mentioned it, I didn't even know the door

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Speaker 2: didn't have a lock.

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Speaker 4: Is it possible?

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Speaker 2: And on the question is it possible that religion might

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Speaker 2: play a role in this situation for the rules at

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Speaker 2: the mother's house, Opie says, we are not Muslim. I

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Speaker 2: am an atheist. I'm pretty sure my daughter is too,

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Speaker 2: because I don't hear her talking about going to any

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Speaker 2: form of mass. But my ex wife is an Orthodox Christian.

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Speaker 2: I don't remember the conversation in full, but it started

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Speaker 2: when my daughter just wore a bra and shorts around

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Speaker 2: her mom's house when she was like fourteen, and her

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Speaker 2: mom flipped, she doesn't let my daughter wear anything that's

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Speaker 2: revealing or inappropriate around the house or in public. Me personally,

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Speaker 2: I would give a crap about what my daughter does

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Speaker 2: or doesn't wear. I've bought my daughter clothes that she

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Speaker 2: wanted and didn't give too much thought into it. On

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Speaker 2: that really fast, I feel like she probably has a

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Speaker 2: reason for that, like she probably whether I might agree

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Speaker 2: with it, or not, and like depending on this, Like

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Speaker 2: I feel like I'd have to know a little bit

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Speaker 2: more about the situation. The mom is probably just thinking like, oh,

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Speaker 2: if she's wearing this around the house, then she's gonna

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Speaker 2: be wearing this out and I just she's just too

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Speaker 2: young for that, you know.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, but how young was the daughter?

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Speaker 2: Again's sixteen now, but it started when she was like fourteen?

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Speaker 4: The clothes thing, right, okay.

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Speaker 5: But yeah, and back to like the only other one

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Speaker 5: that I can think of is like the soda one

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Speaker 5: keeps coming back to my mind because I'm like, yeah,

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Speaker 5: for sure, like give the kids soda every once in

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Speaker 5: a while, but like, yeah, are you giving this kid

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Speaker 5: so much soda that she's like only drinking soda and

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Speaker 5: we're like downing it right and we're winning our health

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Speaker 5: kind of thing?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: Does she need boundaries with that? Like what level of

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Speaker 5: how is too much freedom going to get to it

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Speaker 5: when it's just like do what.

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Speaker 4: You want exactly?

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Speaker 2: Because I'm also wondering too, like if you're just buying

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Speaker 2: her whatever soda she wants or buying her whatever clothes

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Speaker 2: she wants, is like are you paying attention at all?

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Speaker 4: What are you looking at?

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Speaker 5: Somewhere in between a good balance, yeah, which maybe is

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Speaker 5: where you're at, and we just haven't heard that part yet.

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Speaker 2: Exactly, but from what I'm seeing, I'm just I would

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Speaker 2: ask that question. On the question does Opie talk with

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Speaker 2: his daughter on a regular basis on what's going on

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Speaker 2: in her life, Opie says, my daughter is pretty open

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Speaker 2: with who's she's with or where she's going. I do

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Speaker 2: know that she's gonna lie from time to time because

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Speaker 2: she's a teenager and all teenagers do it. But I

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Speaker 2: trust that she can hold her own. I bought her

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Speaker 2: a thing of pepper spray that goes on her keychain

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Speaker 2: with her car keys that she carries everywhere, so worst

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Speaker 2: case she has something. I know a few of her

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Speaker 2: friends that I've met at the house, but other than that, no,

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Speaker 2: I don't know. On the question does Opie enforce his

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Speaker 2: rules at his house when his daughter is with him,

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Speaker 2: Opie says, I do enforce other rules, such as she

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Speaker 2: needs to have all of her homework done before going

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Speaker 2: out with friends. I need to see her report cards,

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Speaker 2: she needs to do her chores, etcetera, etcetera. Okay, that's good.

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Speaker 2: She doesn't fight me over them, and does them, usually

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Speaker 2: without me asking, so she's very responsible. Opie on his

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Speaker 2: job schedule and why he doesn't know what his ex

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Speaker 2: has been up to after the divorce, Opie says, I

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Speaker 2: work almost sixteen hours every day and still have to

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Speaker 2: full I work almost six hours. No, Opie says, I

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Speaker 2: work almost sixteen hours every day and still have to

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Speaker 2: full time parent to the best of my ability. I

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Speaker 2: try not to pry into my ex wife's life because

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Speaker 2: most of it isn't any of my business unless it

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Speaker 2: involves my daughter. I can't ask, though, and Opie on

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Speaker 2: his parenting his daughter, Opie says, I'm not a perfect parent.

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Speaker 4: No one is.

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Speaker 2: I work insane hours and I'm using my day off

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Speaker 2: to fight with my ex wife about my daughter. Yes,

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Speaker 2: I make mistakes, Yes I'm not as present as I

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Speaker 2: want to be. My daughter comes to me about a

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Speaker 2: lot of things, and I trust that she's responsible enough

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Speaker 2: to not do insane things. Opie on having the grown

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Speaker 2: up talks with his daughter, Opie says, I have had

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Speaker 2: grown up talks with my daughter before. It's gone fairly well.

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Speaker 2: My daughter told me before anyone else that she is

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Speaker 2: by and was dating a girl. She asked me to

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Speaker 2: keep a secret from her mom, so I did. She's

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Speaker 2: not dating the girl anymore, but I did meet her

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Speaker 2: and she seems like a nice person. I've met a

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Speaker 2: few of her friends, but not all of them. I'll

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Speaker 2: try to do better with keeping up with that, and

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Speaker 2: my daughter was okay with me putting Life three sixty

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Speaker 2: on her phone. My daughter doesn't do substances and doesn't drink.

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Speaker 2: I told her if someone offers her a drink or substances,

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Speaker 2: to deny it and tell me. She said, she promises too,

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Speaker 2: and I trust her. As far as I know. My

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Speaker 2: daughter hasn't engaged in any spicy related activity, but I've

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Speaker 2: had all of the yucky talks with her. When she

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Speaker 2: started having periods, I told her that if she ever

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Speaker 2: needs pads or tampons, to let me know and I'll

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Speaker 2: make sure she gets them.

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Speaker 4: I told her if she's going to.

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Speaker 2: Have spicy sleep, to make sure that they are being safe,

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Speaker 2: using protection and consent and all that. I told her

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Speaker 2: that in the unlikely event that she has spicy sleep

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Speaker 2: and thinks she is pregnant or something happens that risks pregnancy,

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Speaker 2: to let me you know immediately and I'll get her

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Speaker 2: pregnancy tests and contraceptive Now, like any parents, I tell

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Speaker 2: her not to have spicy sleep, but I also know

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Speaker 2: that she's sixteen and teenagers tend to do it anyway,

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Speaker 2: So I'd rather her do it and be safe and

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Speaker 2: know what recourses are available than to do it without

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Speaker 2: the education and end up in a bad situation. And

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Speaker 2: now we have an update. This is the same post,

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Speaker 2: but the next day, Oh wow, Okay, we think about

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Speaker 2: all that.

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Speaker 5: Opie sounds like he's got such a great handle on

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Speaker 5: it all, Like, yeah, you've been great, dude.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think we were worried that, like he was just

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Speaker 2: kind of like not caring, but it seems like he

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Speaker 2: totally is.

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Speaker 5: You're carrying like the perfect amount. You're making sure your

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Speaker 5: schooling's going well. She can still have her social life, right,

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Speaker 5: She's well set with like the safeties of the world.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and you're trusting her, which is what a lot

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Speaker 2: of teenagers need at that point in time.

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Speaker 4: So good job. We do have an update.

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Speaker 2: I have been talking to my daughter and ex wife

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Speaker 2: over the last several hours and have.

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Speaker 4: Figured weird out a few things.

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Speaker 2: One, there is no other permanent resident at my ex's house,

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Speaker 2: no boyfriend, husband, no other kids, nothing like that. My

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Speaker 2: ex does have this book club thing that she hosts

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Speaker 2: and has guests once a month, but all our adults.

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Speaker 2: Two My ex wife doesn't let my daughter have a

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Speaker 2: lock in her door because and I quote because I'm

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Speaker 2: not going to give her the ability to hide her

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Speaker 2: substances or boyfriends so that she is sleeping with.

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Speaker 4: Three. My ex doesn't let my daughter.

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Speaker 2: See her friends during the week because she says her

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Speaker 2: friends are distractions to school. However, her report card says

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Speaker 2: she is doing just fine academically.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, there's such a lack of trust in Mount one. Like, yeah,

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Speaker 5: the trust that she needs and wants that she has

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Speaker 5: with dad is not there with mom.

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Speaker 2: Right, because I mean, like the dad's saying like she

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Speaker 2: is proving herself right with all of her responsibilities. I

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Speaker 2: think that's something that I just remember being in high school,

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Speaker 2: and I remember people like wanting that freedom and that trust,

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Speaker 2: but then like you know, even though they weren't bad

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Speaker 2: kids or anything, they still didn't show it with like

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Speaker 2: that kind of stuff, which you know, like I get,

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Speaker 2: I'm not like hating on that at all.

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Speaker 6: I think I was probably the same, but this mom

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Speaker 6: is like pre not trusting her kid, like she's already

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Speaker 6: got these notions that like she is going to be

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Speaker 6: doing this, like you're giving her that ability to prove

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Speaker 6: herself exactly, like she's so scared right.

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Speaker 2: Four My ex doesn't just control what she wears, but

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Speaker 2: also won't let her use makeup or even watch or

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Speaker 2: consume adun't media. My daughter says that my ex called

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Speaker 2: her attire sluti one time because she was wearing a

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Speaker 2: shirt with no bra. My ex denies saying this, but

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't put it past her.

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Speaker 5: Five.

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Speaker 2: I asked my daughter if she would be okay with

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Speaker 2: me searching her room, and my daughter said she had

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Speaker 2: nothing to hide. I looked around and guess what. No substances,

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Speaker 2: no vapes, no legal plans to take over the US government,

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Speaker 2: nothing like that, just normal sixteen year old girl.

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Speaker 4: Room six.

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Speaker 2: I asked my daughter if she would have a problem

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Speaker 2: with me putting Life through sixty on her phone so

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Speaker 2: I could see where she goes. She handed me her

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Speaker 2: phone and said again, she has nothing to hide, so

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Speaker 2: she doesn't care.

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Speaker 4: Seven.

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Speaker 2: I did talk to my daughter about her attitude and

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Speaker 2: treatment towards her mother. She agreed that she has been

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Speaker 2: acting out and said she will text me or call

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Speaker 2: me if she has an issue with something that her

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Speaker 2: mom is doing. She said she will respect her mother's rules,

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Speaker 2: but she did ask me to talk to her about

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Speaker 2: her mother's comments about her body. Apparently, my daughter feels

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Speaker 2: like her mother is schmextualizing her in her body and

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Speaker 2: it makes her uncomfortable.

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Speaker 4: I agreed to talk to her mom about it.

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Speaker 2: So far that conversation is locked up because her mom

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Speaker 2: will not let up on her whole modesty crap.

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Speaker 4: Eight.

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Speaker 2: My daughter told my ex that if she tried to

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Speaker 2: take me to court, my daughter will ask a judge

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Speaker 2: to live with me full time.

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Speaker 4: More to come.

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Speaker 2: Update wise, thank you all for your input and we

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Speaker 2: do have a second update.

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Speaker 4: But do you have any thoughts before we move on?

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Speaker 5: I got no more thoughts.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you kind of win over everything. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it seems like you're a good parent. Sucks that the

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Speaker 2: mom is not letting up and stuff, but it's good

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Speaker 2: that at least conversations are being had.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, and maybe she'll come around and eventually with like

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Speaker 5: seeing how well things could be working for dad and kid.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, so update too. This is now one week

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Speaker 2: later from the previous update. I just want to say

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Speaker 2: thank you to everyone who gave their input on the situation.

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Speaker 2: Over the past seven days, I've been going through a

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Speaker 2: lot of stress between work, my daughter's reaction, and my

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Speaker 2: ex wife. To start last Sunday, I had very long

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Speaker 2: discussions with my ex wife about our daughter. Do not

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Speaker 2: ramble on daughter says, it's called yapping.

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Speaker 4: Now, I'll give you the short version.

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Speaker 2: My ex wife says that she has to be strict

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Speaker 2: on my daughter so she doesn't turn out bad. She

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Speaker 2: doesn't let my daughter wear makeup, hang out with her

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Speaker 2: friends during the week, eat certain foods and drink certain drinks,

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Speaker 2: consume certain medias, have locks on her door, wear certain clothes,

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Speaker 2: and she makes my daughter text her every hour she's

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Speaker 2: not at school but out of the house on weekends,

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Speaker 2: detailing who is she with, where she is at, and

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Speaker 2: what they are doing. I talked to my daughter about

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Speaker 2: her mother, and my daughter says her life over there

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Speaker 2: is stressful, feeling like she's all always being watched. She

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Speaker 2: feels like she has no freedoms or autonomy, and that

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Speaker 2: she's at the mercy of her mother. My daughter did

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Speaker 2: admit that she has been acting out recently at her

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Speaker 2: mother's house, but I can't really blame her. I talked

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Speaker 2: to one of my female coworkers who has three daughters

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Speaker 2: about the situation I'm in. She said she is worried

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Speaker 2: about my ex wife mentally abusing my daughter, and I agreed.

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Speaker 2: Some of you online also pointed out that my ex

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Speaker 2: wife could be schmextualizing and objectifying my daughter, to which

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Speaker 2: I've also come to agree. I knew my daughter and

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Speaker 2: my ex wife have issues and have been butting heads

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Speaker 2: on and off for a while, but I didn't know

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Speaker 2: it was this bad.

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Speaker 4: Regardless.

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Speaker 2: I talked to my daughter about her mother's rules at

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Speaker 2: her house. If her mother doesn't want her eating in

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Speaker 2: the living room or drinking sprite.

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Speaker 4: She's allowed to have that rule.

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Speaker 2: I told her she cannot like it all she wants,

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Speaker 2: but at the end of the day, there are not

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Speaker 2: unreasonable requests.

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Speaker 4: My daughter, though, very.

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Speaker 2: Firmly asked me to talk to my ex wife about

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Speaker 2: the things that bug her the most. Those things are

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Speaker 2: what she does and doesn't wear in the house, a

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Speaker 2: lock in her door, and the rules in place about

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Speaker 2: her friends only on the weekends and texting her mom constantly.

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Speaker 2: I asked my daughter if she would be okay with

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Speaker 2: me tracking her. On Life three sixty, she said she's

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Speaker 2: okay with me tracking her, but not her mother. My

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Speaker 2: daughter tells me pretty much everything, though sometimes I wish

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Speaker 2: she didn't never share information I didn't need to know about.

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Speaker 2: But uh, And she says she trusts me and knows

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Speaker 2: I trust her, but she doesn't want her mom to

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Speaker 2: be able to track.

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Speaker 4: Her at all hours of the day.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because I mean obviously, like the mom is gonna

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Speaker 2: see that and take it in such a different way

382
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Speaker 2: with the dad is like, okay, yeah, I know what

383
00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:32,520
Speaker 2: you are, but it's purely for safety right.

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Speaker 5: Where the mom will like and that's another level of

385
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Speaker 5: trust where it's like I'm already telling you where I am,

386
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Speaker 5: so you need to trust that that's where I am. Yeah,

387
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Speaker 5: And if we have this like you're not gonna trust

388
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Speaker 5: me because you're gonna double check or right right, then

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Speaker 5: we're just getting like way too off track.

390
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Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, because the mom honestly is probably just coming

391
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Speaker 2: of a place from fear and like not wanting something

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Speaker 2: bad to happen and just like thinking of you know,

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Speaker 2: kind of what we talked about before, of like having

394
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Speaker 2: a young kid and you can do have more restrictions

395
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Speaker 2: and have more say over their life. But obviously, you know,

396
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:09,399
Speaker 2: once they're older, you can't, and you shouldn't. You should

397
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Speaker 2: start to let them, you know, like the trust helps

398
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:16,800
Speaker 2: them make their own decisions. Yeah, because now she's going

399
00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:20,399
Speaker 2: to act down and she's gonna like purposely rebel against

400
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:23,720
Speaker 2: all of these things. But she said she's doing yeah exactly,

401
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:25,680
Speaker 2: so no, you got.

402
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Speaker 5: I also think that the whole like sometimes she overshares

403
00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:30,840
Speaker 5: stuff that I wish she wouldn't. No, don't ever tell

404
00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:32,960
Speaker 5: her that you don't want her to let her tell

405
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:36,760
Speaker 5: you whatever because she That is so amazing that she

406
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:39,240
Speaker 5: feels so comfortable. I'm so sorry that you get a

407
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:41,879
Speaker 5: little too much, right right, Like that is such a

408
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:42,679
Speaker 5: great thing to have.

409
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Speaker 2: I was thinking about that, like it probably is uncomfortable,

410
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:47,760
Speaker 2: but at the same time, like you know you can

411
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Speaker 2: trust that.

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Speaker 5: Right do you know? How like amazing that is. Yeah,

413
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:55,480
Speaker 5: she's doing that to ease, Like now she trusts.

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Speaker 2: You, and then that's great because then now you'll like

415
00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:59,240
Speaker 2: you'll be able to trust her and that she is

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Speaker 2: being safe because you'll hear about.

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Speaker 4: It if she's not.

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00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:04,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, the lock on her door was something else.

419
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Speaker 4: That we discussed.

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Speaker 2: I asked my daughter why she wanted a lock on

421
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Speaker 2: her door, and she provided information I basically did not

422
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:12,480
Speaker 2: need to know. But basically, she wants privacy and to

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Speaker 2: be alone sometimes.

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Speaker 4: Okay.

425
00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:17,360
Speaker 2: I checked her room out with her in the room

426
00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:20,360
Speaker 2: and didn't find anything like substances or plans to overthrow

427
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:23,320
Speaker 2: the Illuminati, so she's good on that front. When I

428
00:18:23,359 --> 00:18:25,439
Speaker 2: asked her mother why she can't have a lock, she

429
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:28,879
Speaker 2: said it's because she and I quote, doesn't want her

430
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:32,200
Speaker 2: having spicy sleep, doing substances, or hiding things from her.

431
00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:35,119
Speaker 2: Apparently my ex wife just barges into her room and

432
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Speaker 2: searches her things. I found that to be ridiculous and

433
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:41,760
Speaker 2: a complete violation of my daughter's privacy, and I threw

434
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:44,560
Speaker 2: a fit to my ex about it. No wonder my

435
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:48,240
Speaker 2: ex doesn't know about. No wonder my ex doesn't know

436
00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:51,199
Speaker 2: any of my daughter and I's a little secret that

437
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,800
Speaker 2: she's by. She can't even trust her mother not to

438
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,919
Speaker 2: go through her stuff. Next, the whole issue about what

439
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,879
Speaker 2: she does and doesn't wear in the house. In my house,

440
00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:03,280
Speaker 2: I could give less evan f Usually she walks around

441
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:06,359
Speaker 2: in boxers or some crap. Sometimes she wears normal clothes.

442
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:09,040
Speaker 2: Sometimes she wears one of those full body pajamas. Hey,

443
00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:11,239
Speaker 2: don't give a crap, But she knows the rules about it.

444
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,719
Speaker 2: She has to leave the house wearing normal clothes, and

445
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:16,159
Speaker 2: she needs to have normal clothes on when guests are

446
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:16,640
Speaker 2: at the house.

447
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:19,600
Speaker 4: When she's there alone or with me, she can do whatever.

448
00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:23,800
Speaker 2: Her mom, on the other hand, has been sizing her daughter.

449
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,520
Speaker 2: Her ex denies doing this, but I don't think my

450
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:29,280
Speaker 2: daughter would lie about it. And knowing my ex wife,

451
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:32,359
Speaker 2: she one hundred percent said it. My ex has said

452
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:35,600
Speaker 2: my daughter is not a modest woman. Needless to say,

453
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:39,040
Speaker 2: this pisses me off six ways to Sunday. But we

454
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:42,040
Speaker 2: exchanged some heated words over the topic. But there is

455
00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:45,040
Speaker 2: a little bit more to the story. But I'm honestly

456
00:19:45,119 --> 00:19:48,520
Speaker 2: curious about that, the whole like spextualizing the daughter thing.

457
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:51,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know if I would call it that.

458
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:56,000
Speaker 5: From what we know, I think that she's not necessarily

459
00:19:57,160 --> 00:20:00,240
Speaker 5: U schmeck. I can't say that one. It's okay, she's

460
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:06,280
Speaker 5: not necessarily doing that, but she's almost like setting her

461
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:09,239
Speaker 5: up where if she dressed like that, there would be

462
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:11,760
Speaker 5: shame in it. Yeah, And that's where I feel like

463
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:14,320
Speaker 5: it comes into hinting onto that, Like it's not like.

464
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:20,199
Speaker 7: She's outwardly like you will look like a yeah, like slute,

465
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:23,879
Speaker 7: but right, well, yeah, the fact she say she can't

466
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:26,880
Speaker 7: wear it is like, yeah, exactly like she I mean

467
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:28,480
Speaker 7: she did say I did forget.

468
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,000
Speaker 5: Yeah she did say the one, right.

469
00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:33,680
Speaker 2: But still I still wouldn't call that like smetualizing or

470
00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:37,560
Speaker 2: objectifying like some of the comments said. I think it's

471
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:40,040
Speaker 2: you know, that's possible for it to be like that,

472
00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:42,520
Speaker 2: but just given the context and given everything else, I

473
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:45,000
Speaker 2: wouldn't really see it as that, like as oh, I'm

474
00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:48,200
Speaker 2: just seeing my daughter as like a spicy object.

475
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,760
Speaker 5: You know. I don't think that's the place that the

476
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:50,920
Speaker 5: mom is coming from.

477
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:51,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I.

478
00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:55,360
Speaker 5: Think it's totally valid that that's how she's interpreting it, right,

479
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,560
Speaker 5: I don't think that's the intentions behind it. But she's

480
00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:59,000
Speaker 5: definitely not shaming.

481
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:01,040
Speaker 2: Her because like, yeah, because I get how it's like

482
00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:04,879
Speaker 2: in some cases when you're thinking about that and always

483
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:07,480
Speaker 2: commenting on that, then like that could seem like, oh,

484
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:08,400
Speaker 2: I just see you as.

485
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:09,160
Speaker 4: A spicy object.

486
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:11,800
Speaker 2: But because it's her mom, because she's so like overprotective

487
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:13,760
Speaker 2: about all this other stuff, I really hope not.

488
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:17,320
Speaker 4: Yeah right, I'm I'm I don't want to jump there yet,

489
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:21,040
Speaker 4: least behind exactly. I think you were right. It's just

490
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,760
Speaker 4: it's just shaming and all that which is not good.

491
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:24,880
Speaker 4: There's a little bit more.

492
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:26,879
Speaker 2: My daughter came over to the house today for our

493
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:29,680
Speaker 2: fifty to fifty custody swap and immediately went and locked

494
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:31,840
Speaker 2: herself in her room. At first, I thought maybe she

495
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:33,920
Speaker 2: was gonna go FaceTime her friends or something, so I

496
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,960
Speaker 2: let it be for a bit. But after she didn't

497
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,800
Speaker 2: come out after an hour or so, I knocked in

498
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:41,120
Speaker 2: her door. My daughter had been crying. I asked why,

499
00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:42,760
Speaker 2: and she said that my ex told her that she's

500
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:45,800
Speaker 2: gonna take me to court and ensure that I won't

501
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:46,639
Speaker 2: see her again.

502
00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:49,359
Speaker 5: Yeah. Rely, Pop, that's not gonna happen. Yeah, that's not

503
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:49,880
Speaker 5: gonna happen.

504
00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:51,000
Speaker 4: It truly is.

505
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:53,520
Speaker 5: I'm so sorry though, that she told you that. But yeah,

506
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:55,760
Speaker 5: your dad's got you right.

507
00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:59,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, just got done consoling my heartbroken daughter, typing all

508
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:01,639
Speaker 2: of this out with her tears, and it's not on

509
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:02,480
Speaker 2: my nice shirts.

510
00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:04,040
Speaker 4: There's the update.

511
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:09,639
Speaker 2: I say, game on to my effing witch but ex wife, Elpie.

512
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:14,240
Speaker 2: There are some quick comments but actually Opie doesn't respect

513
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:15,080
Speaker 2: to him, but.

514
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:16,680
Speaker 4: That's the end of that story.

515
00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:21,239
Speaker 5: Wow, my brother thought I would never fight back, so

516
00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:22,479
Speaker 5: I proved him wrong.

517
00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:24,760
Speaker 4: Ooh, got catch these hands, bro.

518
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:28,760
Speaker 5: My brother Sam always treated me like trash. I was

519
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:31,679
Speaker 5: a lonely kid from skipping grades, so I didn't know

520
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:34,959
Speaker 5: what friend or sibling relationships were supposed to be for

521
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,920
Speaker 5: a long time. I forgave him for a lot of

522
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:41,120
Speaker 5: stuff I shouldn't have. I've always had this vibe where

523
00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:43,679
Speaker 5: people are calmer around me and don't put up a guard,

524
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:46,720
Speaker 5: so I get told a lot. Sam knows how much

525
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:49,240
Speaker 5: I've always wanted to be his friend, too, so I

526
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:51,720
Speaker 5: don't think he ever considered what might happen if he

527
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:56,080
Speaker 5: really truly pissed me off. By the way, this comes

528
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,919
Speaker 5: from Sweet liber Tea and if you want to submit

529
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:02,320
Speaker 5: your own stories to the r slash okay storytime subreddit.

530
00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:05,120
Speaker 5: I'm Carly, I'm Angie, and we're here to give good

531
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:07,919
Speaker 5: advice goofy, but we don't have all the answers. We

532
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:09,840
Speaker 5: only know what we would do, so let us know

533
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:12,080
Speaker 5: what you would do in the comment and Opie says,

534
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:16,040
Speaker 5: by thirty I'd hoped maybe he'd be mellowing out, but no,

535
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:19,480
Speaker 5: he only reaches out at the last minute on holidays

536
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:22,800
Speaker 5: when he needs something. I live with my parents. I've

537
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:27,840
Speaker 5: grown emotionally as an adult, valuing myself and realizing how

538
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:31,320
Speaker 5: crappy he treated me. I started to resent him and

539
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:34,639
Speaker 5: stopped reaching out to hang or talk, and we didn't

540
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:37,480
Speaker 5: talk for months. On Mother's Day, we went out with

541
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:41,000
Speaker 5: Sam and his fiancee Lea for brunch. I had a

542
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:44,439
Speaker 5: bad migraine, but went in case Sam bowed out last minute,

543
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:46,960
Speaker 5: like he usually does. I didn't want my mom to

544
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:50,040
Speaker 5: feel sad. Before I'd be very lively trying to talk

545
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:53,840
Speaker 5: to him. I barely spoke ten words to him, maybe

546
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:57,399
Speaker 5: one hundred the whole meal, and the only time he

547
00:23:57,440 --> 00:24:00,199
Speaker 5: spoke to me was to talk down to me. The

548
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:03,240
Speaker 5: restaurant was busy, so we left our table and went outside.

549
00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:06,919
Speaker 5: It was hot and bright, bad conditions for a migraine.

550
00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:11,120
Speaker 5: Leah has chronic migraines, so you'd think he'd be sympathetic,

551
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:15,000
Speaker 5: but he didn't even notice. I wasn't well. Sam didn't

552
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:18,240
Speaker 5: get Mom a gift, just a card. It was a sonogram.

553
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:21,400
Speaker 5: Sam and Leah have been engaged for a while, but

554
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:25,280
Speaker 5: no one likes Leah, and for good reason. My parents

555
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:27,639
Speaker 5: were pretending to be happy, but I didn't bother. What

556
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:31,119
Speaker 5: are the reasons? Obi? What are the reasons? After a

557
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:34,080
Speaker 5: little while, the light and heat were making me feel sick,

558
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:36,600
Speaker 5: so I asked my dad if we could go now.

559
00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:39,679
Speaker 5: Sam snapped that no one asked me to come, that

560
00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:44,040
Speaker 5: I wasn't invited. Mom quickly shut that down. I tried

561
00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:47,080
Speaker 5: to walk away to the car and sit, but he said, wow,

562
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:51,159
Speaker 5: that's crappy family for you all heck broke loose on.

563
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:54,720
Speaker 5: I turned around and screamed, not caring about our seven

564
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:58,320
Speaker 5: year age gap difference in height or strength. The entire

565
00:24:58,359 --> 00:25:02,320
Speaker 5: group froze in shock. Because I'm always soft spoken and gentle,

566
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,639
Speaker 5: I reminded him. He admitted he wasn't happy in his

567
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:09,240
Speaker 5: relationship and that Leah made him miserable and would make

568
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:13,000
Speaker 5: a terrible mother. He was afraid of being alone. I

569
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:15,760
Speaker 5: took him in when our parents kicked him out. He

570
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,440
Speaker 5: hurt me for trying to sleep in my own bed,

571
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:21,879
Speaker 5: then didn't talk to me for two years because I

572
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:26,080
Speaker 5: didn't let him drive wasted that night. He gave me PTSD.

573
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:29,439
Speaker 5: He has the gall to deny and laugh about it.

574
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:32,439
Speaker 5: He never visited me in the hospital or during the

575
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:35,040
Speaker 5: three months of recovery at home after I was in

576
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:38,560
Speaker 5: an accident. Leah had a tragic one before and still

577
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:42,120
Speaker 5: brings it up, so you'd think he'd have sympathy. When

578
00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:45,879
Speaker 5: he finally unfroze, his argument was pathetic. It was that

579
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:49,080
Speaker 5: my parents paid for my college apartment. They paid for

580
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:52,680
Speaker 5: his too, But okay, and this was the reason when

581
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:54,840
Speaker 5: I asked him if I could stay in a worst

582
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:57,879
Speaker 5: case scenario after fighting with our mom, he said no.

583
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:01,240
Speaker 5: Then his stock reaction and when he knows he's wrong,

584
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:04,560
Speaker 5: puffing up his chest, saying, lay a hand on me. Bro.

585
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:08,840
Speaker 5: Mom would never punt me out. Sometimes we fight, as

586
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:11,159
Speaker 5: you do with people you live with. It helps my

587
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:14,480
Speaker 5: anxiety to make backup plans I don't actually need, and

588
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:15,600
Speaker 5: Sam is aware of that.

589
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:18,359
Speaker 3: I told him to never ever.

590
00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:21,080
Speaker 5: Contact me again, because he is not my effing family.

591
00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 5: Dad gently steered me back to the car and I

592
00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:26,880
Speaker 5: sat inside. They talked for a while after I got in,

593
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:30,280
Speaker 5: but I wasn't listening. Leah said she isn't speaking to

594
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:33,280
Speaker 5: her family and now doesn't even have his family. Way

595
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:36,800
Speaker 5: to admit we aren't family, Leah tried to explain that

596
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:40,280
Speaker 5: Sam declined because they have two large dogs and they

597
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:43,200
Speaker 5: were worried something might happen to my tiny dog, Pebbles.

598
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:43,960
Speaker 4: Uh.

599
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:47,680
Speaker 5: My mom said I never planned to bring Pebbles because

600
00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:50,960
Speaker 5: I couldn't separate her from my parents' dogs. Leah looked

601
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,280
Speaker 5: confused and said Sam told her I wanted to bring

602
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:56,639
Speaker 5: the dog. Sam said he'd never visit the house again

603
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:58,960
Speaker 5: as long as I lived there, and tried to get

604
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:02,520
Speaker 5: my parents to punt me out. Mom shut that down too,

605
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:05,479
Speaker 5: and clarified that I'm higher on the totem pole than

606
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:08,959
Speaker 5: he is by a lot, and it's his own fault.

607
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:13,320
Speaker 5: At first, Mom was torn. She agreed that my brother

608
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:16,120
Speaker 5: was completely wrong, but didn't want to just cut off

609
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:19,040
Speaker 5: one of her kids. But as I laid out all

610
00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:21,800
Speaker 5: the crap he'd done and admitted to me that change,

611
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:25,800
Speaker 5: Mom was furious and apologized that they didn't punish him

612
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:30,000
Speaker 5: enough when we were kids, figuring siblings fight and I

613
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:33,320
Speaker 5: was always the kid that was fine. She texted Sam

614
00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:36,600
Speaker 5: that an apology would go a long way, and he declined,

615
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:39,520
Speaker 5: saying he wasn't ready to deal with her yet. My

616
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 5: parents told me that if I'm not invited to the wedding.

617
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:46,320
Speaker 5: They won't go either, so he would finally have some consequences.

618
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:50,000
Speaker 5: I wouldn't go. It's the principal. Some of what I

619
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:53,000
Speaker 5: told her was the actual sum of money he'd stolen

620
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 5: from Dad over the years. We knew but didn't think

621
00:27:56,240 --> 00:28:00,160
Speaker 5: it was eight hundred dollars. Oh wow, he had spicy.

622
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 5: I sleep in my parents' bed, and just how badly

623
00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:06,160
Speaker 5: he hurt me. Sam only has his good job because

624
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:10,560
Speaker 5: Dad pulled strings. This ungrateful brat didn't even text him

625
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:14,080
Speaker 5: on Father's Day, going off on Mom for reminding him

626
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:17,600
Speaker 5: to text because it ruined his day. That pissed us

627
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:20,720
Speaker 5: off a lot, and while we were venting, we realized

628
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:24,800
Speaker 5: how badly he fed himself. Leah doesn't have many friends,

629
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:29,200
Speaker 5: no close females. Sam doesn't either. He made poor choices.

630
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:32,960
Speaker 5: She isn't speaking with her sister, sister in law, or

631
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:37,280
Speaker 5: mom because she's throwing a tantrum that Grandma won't have

632
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:41,880
Speaker 5: undivided attention on her kid. I always wanted to feel included,

633
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:44,720
Speaker 5: so they were probably banking on me to help plan

634
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:49,360
Speaker 5: the baby shower and appointments for wedding detail. I enjoy organization.

635
00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:53,440
Speaker 5: No idea, who will help her now? Sam would force

636
00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:55,880
Speaker 5: me to dog sit when he lived here, knowing I

637
00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:57,920
Speaker 5: can't put an animal in the crate if I'm there,

638
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:00,920
Speaker 5: and he never gave me a head shipe or asked.

639
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:05,120
Speaker 5: Leah already alienated Mom for babysitting with a witchy comment

640
00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:08,640
Speaker 5: years ago, and Leah said she wouldn't want strangers watching

641
00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:12,160
Speaker 5: her kids, so they probably figured I'd be the compassionate

642
00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:17,080
Speaker 5: sister as always and watch my nibbling. Sam often used

643
00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:20,840
Speaker 5: me as a therapist. When my dog of fourteen years passed,

644
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:24,080
Speaker 5: I got nothing. One of his dogs is older and

645
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:27,480
Speaker 5: already blind and deaf. He told me he was terrified

646
00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:29,520
Speaker 5: of the day she passed because he wouldn't know what

647
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:32,920
Speaker 5: to do. Well, can't lean on me anymore. I haven't

648
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:36,680
Speaker 5: bothered checking, but I figured the engagement is strained. Sam

649
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:38,840
Speaker 5: is a known liar, and I can barely try to

650
00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:41,840
Speaker 5: bluff in a game of Uno. Leah heard what Sam

651
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:44,720
Speaker 5: said about his feelings towards her and realized Sam lies

652
00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:48,480
Speaker 5: to her about me. Wonder how that's working out, don't know,

653
00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:52,680
Speaker 5: don't care. They're both blocked. We have a bet going

654
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:54,840
Speaker 5: that he doesn't want to deal with me. Yet because

655
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:57,440
Speaker 5: he thinks by his birthday, I'll cave in and get

656
00:29:57,480 --> 00:29:59,560
Speaker 5: him a gift and he'll get out of this with

657
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:03,719
Speaker 5: no apologies. Yet again his mistake. We have an update.

658
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:05,920
Speaker 4: Oh my god, that was a lot of.

659
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:09,080
Speaker 5: Information, some of which was a little confusing of it,

660
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:10,600
Speaker 5: but I get the gist of it.

661
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:14,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean you're standing up for yourself. Go

662
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:16,040
Speaker 2: oh pe Yeah, I.

663
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:17,080
Speaker 4: See no problems.

664
00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:21,080
Speaker 2: I see you just like breaking out of your your

665
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:25,960
Speaker 2: softer shell and finally, you know, not being a doormat.

666
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:28,840
Speaker 2: Maybe you weren't quite a dormat before, but you're definitely

667
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:31,120
Speaker 2: not one now. Yeah, and you seem to have a

668
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:33,040
Speaker 2: good head on your shoulders of like you know exactly

669
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:33,520
Speaker 2: what's right.

670
00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:34,320
Speaker 4: So just trust that.

671
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:38,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, you finally hit your point of Like, I'm done.

672
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:41,160
Speaker 5: We have an update. Some of you may remember that

673
00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:44,360
Speaker 5: Sam's birthday was in September. It came and went quietly.

674
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:47,720
Speaker 5: By some miracle, I think he finally got the message

675
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:50,040
Speaker 5: that he passed the point of no return this time.

676
00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:54,520
Speaker 5: Turns out that Sam and Leah got married just before September,

677
00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:58,200
Speaker 5: aka the cutoff date for adding spouses and dependence to

678
00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:01,480
Speaker 5: the Good Health Insurance Plans. Gets from work. Pretty sure

679
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:04,200
Speaker 5: it was arranged for that. Got a little bit more, but.

680
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:10,320
Speaker 2: I totally would think it's right before the insurance.

681
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:11,719
Speaker 4: I mean, if they're gonna do it anyway.

682
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:14,520
Speaker 5: It sounded like most people weren't coming to their wedding anymore.

683
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:18,320
Speaker 2: So Yeah, the fact that she just found out later

684
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:21,560
Speaker 2: that that he got married, it's like, oh, okay, no

685
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:22,280
Speaker 2: mention that.

686
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:25,160
Speaker 5: Yeah, I wasn't happy when I found out, Not that

687
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:27,880
Speaker 5: I care about the wedding. I hate sharing a last

688
00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:31,080
Speaker 5: name with these trash people. I wish we could take

689
00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 5: it away. My mom and dad also informed me that

690
00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:36,440
Speaker 5: for the past few years they'd only been civil to

691
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:39,360
Speaker 5: him for my sake. Mom told me about a time

692
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:41,160
Speaker 5: they were calling my brother to find a day to

693
00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:43,880
Speaker 5: give him a present, and Sam said, yeah, I'll see

694
00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:46,040
Speaker 5: if I can make time next week, and did the

695
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:49,360
Speaker 5: goodbyes with my mom, but forgot to hang up, then

696
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:53,160
Speaker 5: said to Leah, yeah, right, like that'll ever happen. They

697
00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:56,240
Speaker 5: never told me because I loved him. They also let

698
00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:58,560
Speaker 5: me know that since all of this has gone down,

699
00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:01,160
Speaker 5: they completely changed the way will and I will get

700
00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:04,960
Speaker 5: everything when they pass. Whoa end of that story?

701
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:08,720
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Sam here og host. We're going to

702
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:10,920
Speaker 1: get back to these stories, but here's three minutes fads

703
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:11,680
Speaker 1: from our sponsors.

704
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:14,400
Speaker 3: First, my sister in law moved in with us, and

705
00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:16,360
Speaker 3: now I want to send her back, send her away.

706
00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:19,960
Speaker 3: My husband twenty five male, and I twenty eight female,

707
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:22,200
Speaker 3: live in an apartment with our two year old daughter.

708
00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:25,640
Speaker 3: It's not super big, just a two bedroom, two bathroom apartment.

709
00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:29,080
Speaker 3: My sister in law twenty two female, let's call her Sally,

710
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:32,400
Speaker 3: came to us saying that living with mother in law

711
00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 3: has made her feel trapped, especially since she doesn't have

712
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:37,520
Speaker 3: a car to get around. After talking to my husband,

713
00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:40,200
Speaker 3: we agreed to let her live with us rent free,

714
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:43,280
Speaker 3: in exchange for her getting a full time job and

715
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:46,320
Speaker 3: saving up for a car. By the way, this comes

716
00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:50,040
Speaker 3: from user Butterscotch fit ninety seven forty five. And if

717
00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:51,800
Speaker 3: you want to submit your own stories, go to urslash

718
00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:53,560
Speaker 3: Okay story time subreddit.

719
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:55,720
Speaker 5: I'm Riley, I'm Carly.

720
00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:58,320
Speaker 3: And we are here to give good advice in a

721
00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:01,520
Speaker 3: goofy manner. We don't have all the answers. We only

722
00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:03,320
Speaker 3: know what we would do, So let us know what

723
00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:06,720
Speaker 3: you would do in your own unique experience in the comments.

724
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:08,080
Speaker 4: As Opie says.

725
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:10,120
Speaker 3: We moved all of our two year old's things out

726
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:12,760
Speaker 3: of the extra room and bathroom. Our daughter now sleeps

727
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:15,480
Speaker 3: in our room and uses our bathroom. I even set

728
00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:17,640
Speaker 3: up a job interview for Sally at my job and

729
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:19,880
Speaker 3: was able to get her hired. I let her know

730
00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:22,560
Speaker 3: this was temporary because she would need to do some

731
00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:25,840
Speaker 3: schooling to keep working there. I also told Sally that

732
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:28,800
Speaker 3: she cannot be late to this job because everyone working

733
00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:30,760
Speaker 3: has to wait for her to come in before they

734
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:33,560
Speaker 3: can leave. Sally had the ability to pick up extra shifts,

735
00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:36,200
Speaker 3: but would only take about three per month. We told

736
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:38,960
Speaker 3: her she would still need to find another job so

737
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:41,520
Speaker 3: she could save for a car. It's been almost four

738
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:44,160
Speaker 3: months and she hasn't found another job or saved anything.

739
00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:47,440
Speaker 3: Sally is also constantly late to her current job and

740
00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:50,800
Speaker 3: doesn't pay rent, clean or help with anything around the house.

741
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:53,560
Speaker 3: She mostly stays in her room watching TV all day

742
00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:56,080
Speaker 3: and orders food, even though we told her she could

743
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:58,640
Speaker 3: cook and eat our food. We also told her that

744
00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:01,280
Speaker 3: since she was borrowing our VA, we would need to

745
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:04,160
Speaker 3: put her on our insurance, but she refused to pay

746
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:07,200
Speaker 3: the difference. About a month ago, we talked to Sally

747
00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:09,560
Speaker 3: and told her that if she didn't get things moving,

748
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:11,880
Speaker 3: she would have to start paying three hundred dollars in

749
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:15,880
Speaker 3: rent we pay about seventeen hundreds with utilities. She said okay,

750
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:18,640
Speaker 3: but later cornered us, saying we weren't fair for changing

751
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:21,239
Speaker 3: the agreement, and any time I spoke up, she mocked me.

752
00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:21,760
Speaker 4: Okay.

753
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:24,760
Speaker 3: Sally said she was struggling with depression and needed someone

754
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:27,319
Speaker 3: to help her get up and brush her teeth and hair,

755
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:30,200
Speaker 3: to tell her what to do every day. We told

756
00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:32,600
Speaker 3: her we aren't her parents and are treating her like

757
00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:35,600
Speaker 3: an adult. If she needed professional help, we would get

758
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:39,479
Speaker 3: her that help, but she declined. About a month later,

759
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:43,239
Speaker 3: I told our other sister in law, thirty female, let's

760
00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:45,720
Speaker 3: call her Ginny, that it wouldn't be a good idea

761
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:48,640
Speaker 3: to have Sally apply at her job because she's always late.

762
00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:52,040
Speaker 3: I told Ginny she shouldn't risk her hard earned promotion

763
00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:55,040
Speaker 3: and it might not look good on her. Well. Ginny

764
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:57,759
Speaker 3: told Sally what I said about her being late and

765
00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:00,759
Speaker 3: that it might hurt Ginny's reputation. Sally came up to

766
00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:03,760
Speaker 3: me and demanded an apology, saying it was an attack

767
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:06,520
Speaker 3: on her character and hurt her feelings. I told her

768
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:08,480
Speaker 3: I would not apologize because it was true, and then

769
00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:11,480
Speaker 3: she shouldn't expect apologies from everyone. Sally said that since

770
00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:13,880
Speaker 3: I was her sister in law, I had to apologize.

771
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:16,680
Speaker 3: She then ran to her room crying, saying she hated

772
00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:17,840
Speaker 3: herself and wanted.

773
00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:18,360
Speaker 5: To pass away.

774
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:21,960
Speaker 3: Oh man, how well to Sally again, like eighteen, I

775
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:24,680
Speaker 3: think she's twenty two, twenty two, okay, older than I

776
00:35:24,719 --> 00:35:27,959
Speaker 3: was remembering. Yeah, it's always hard in these positions because

777
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:30,719
Speaker 3: it's like you have this like sympathy of like, this

778
00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:34,760
Speaker 3: person is very obviously going through something and needs help.

779
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:36,920
Speaker 3: But it is also hard when like you are that

780
00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,520
Speaker 3: person trying to give the help and being put in

781
00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:42,320
Speaker 3: these really difficult situations.

782
00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:45,719
Speaker 5: Yeah, I would say almost at this point, it's like

783
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:49,400
Speaker 5: a non negotiable that she goes to therapy. Yeah, like

784
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:52,040
Speaker 5: you say, hey, we will not make you pay that

785
00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:55,200
Speaker 5: rent for a couple more months on the new contingency

786
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:57,480
Speaker 5: that you're gonna go to therapy so we can work

787
00:35:57,520 --> 00:36:00,200
Speaker 5: this out and that maybe we can get you like

788
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:01,680
Speaker 5: the help you need to then go out and get

789
00:36:01,719 --> 00:36:04,400
Speaker 5: that job. But like new contingency is therapy.

790
00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:06,600
Speaker 3: So I messaged her telling her that if she needed

791
00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:09,600
Speaker 3: professional help. I wouldn't mind taking her or my husband

792
00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:11,000
Speaker 3: could if she was still.

793
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:11,239
Speaker 5: Mad at me.

794
00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:13,719
Speaker 3: Sally then messaged me back saying that if I had

795
00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:15,640
Speaker 3: anything to say, I should say it to her face.

796
00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:20,040
Speaker 3: She has now hidden our dog's food and water. Still

797
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:23,319
Speaker 3: mad and upset, I feel like I can't even leave

798
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:25,080
Speaker 3: our room in fear that it will set off another

799
00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:27,799
Speaker 3: meltdown for her. OPI asks, would I be the a

800
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:29,840
Speaker 3: hole for having her go back to mother in law's

801
00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:32,160
Speaker 3: house since she won't do anything to help herself. I

802
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:34,320
Speaker 3: would love any advice anyone has as well. Corom and

803
00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:36,840
Speaker 3: say absolutely not the a hole. Just because she is

804
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:40,040
Speaker 3: depressed does not mean that she gets to freeload. If

805
00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:42,480
Speaker 3: she's depressed enough that she isn't able to do anything

806
00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:45,520
Speaker 3: without someone telling her too, then she needs professional help.

807
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:47,799
Speaker 3: The fact that she's hiding your dog's food and water

808
00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:49,879
Speaker 3: is animal cruelty and would have me kicking her out

809
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:52,399
Speaker 3: so fast. You have three people living in one room

810
00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:54,440
Speaker 3: and a dog. She has a room to herself and

811
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:57,360
Speaker 3: a car to borrow rent, free and free food. Honestly,

812
00:36:57,400 --> 00:36:59,120
Speaker 3: you have given her so much leeway and she's done

813
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:01,560
Speaker 3: nothing but trying to take me and somebody else says

814
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:04,759
Speaker 3: she's being a princess. If she truly has issues depression, etc.

815
00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:07,160
Speaker 3: She needs to get help, which you've already offered to

816
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:09,520
Speaker 3: help with. If she chooses not to, you can't do

817
00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:11,960
Speaker 3: it for her. She needs to adult. I wouldn't want

818
00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:14,960
Speaker 3: her around my child, to which someone replied, you know

819
00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:16,680
Speaker 3: you're not the first person to say that if she

820
00:37:16,719 --> 00:37:19,319
Speaker 3: has true depression, I'm going to tell you this well,

821
00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:21,800
Speaker 3: depression can involve itself in many aspects of your life.

822
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:23,680
Speaker 3: I don't for a minute by the fact that this

823
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:26,319
Speaker 3: person has depression. If she knows she has depression, has

824
00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:28,520
Speaker 3: she seen someone, has she been given medication? Or she

825
00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:31,759
Speaker 3: just assuming and using another scapegoat. I don't believe that

826
00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:33,920
Speaker 3: it's true just from the words that we're shared about us.

827
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:37,560
Speaker 3: And I'm extremely knowledgeable about depression thirty five years of

828
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:40,440
Speaker 3: experience and the same amount of time to researching. I've

829
00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:42,320
Speaker 3: got kind of a handle on the pulse of depression,

830
00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:45,320
Speaker 3: and this girl's just picking up a social media produced excuse.

831
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:48,040
Speaker 3: Maybe I don't know. I feel like it's always like

832
00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:50,200
Speaker 3: whene her people get like that online, I have to

833
00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:53,840
Speaker 3: be like, Okay, sure, that's a possibility. We can't be

834
00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:58,080
Speaker 3: sitting here saying, right, this person's experience is actually this

835
00:37:58,120 --> 00:37:59,319
Speaker 3: other way, like we just don't know.

836
00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:03,320
Speaker 5: To a little too much stigma in like getting diagnoses.

837
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:05,560
Speaker 5: But also I want to know, like she's like thirty

838
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:09,600
Speaker 5: five years of experience. Are you a psychologist or psychiatrist

839
00:38:09,719 --> 00:38:11,720
Speaker 5: or are you just saying I've been depressed for thirty

840
00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:12,480
Speaker 5: five years.

841
00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:14,959
Speaker 3: It's like condolences can done.

842
00:38:15,239 --> 00:38:16,239
Speaker 4: That's the case, but.

843
00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:18,760
Speaker 5: Yeahither way that we should have sympathy for someone who's

844
00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:19,880
Speaker 5: may be depressed.

845
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:24,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, Now Op says she does have a psychiatrist and

846
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:27,200
Speaker 3: does take medication. Obviously it's not helping her. That's why

847
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:29,640
Speaker 3: I wanted her to get more help. I've suffered with

848
00:38:29,719 --> 00:38:32,120
Speaker 3: depression and have medication for it. I've not once blamed

849
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:34,520
Speaker 3: my problems on anyone else or lashed out like she has.

850
00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:36,680
Speaker 3: In fact, it was the opposite. I just feel like

851
00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:38,480
Speaker 3: she is just using it as a crutch or trying

852
00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:40,560
Speaker 3: to manipulate me. I don't want to assume that though,

853
00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:42,200
Speaker 3: So I did tell her I would get her help,

854
00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:43,879
Speaker 3: and then I meant it from a place of love.

855
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:45,800
Speaker 3: But I felt like she just spat in my face

856
00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:49,840
Speaker 3: when offered somebody else commented, if someone mocked or bullied

857
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:51,839
Speaker 3: me in my own house, I might be in jail

858
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:52,279
Speaker 3: right now.

859
00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:53,520
Speaker 4: Girl, What are you doing?

860
00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:53,879
Speaker 2: Oh?

861
00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:55,480
Speaker 3: P says That's why I told her I would not

862
00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:57,719
Speaker 3: apologize to her. She is not entitled to it. Not

863
00:38:57,800 --> 00:38:59,719
Speaker 3: everyone is going to apologize her, and I told her

864
00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:03,080
Speaker 3: that somebody else comments not the a hole. Kicking her

865
00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:05,120
Speaker 3: back out is the way to go back to your

866
00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:08,160
Speaker 3: actual mommy, Sally. I'd also apologize to the boss at

867
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:10,279
Speaker 3: your job for recommending her and let them know that

868
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:13,000
Speaker 3: you feel extremely disappointed and let down by her, and

869
00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:16,120
Speaker 3: if they want to let her go, you'd understand, to

870
00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:18,240
Speaker 3: which OP says I did mention this to my boss

871
00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:21,480
Speaker 3: and they only said I would be a good sister

872
00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:23,600
Speaker 3: in law for finding her a different job. At the

873
00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:27,080
Speaker 3: end of the mon there's an update. Obi says, thank

874
00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:29,359
Speaker 3: you everyone for the advice. I apologize that I haven't

875
00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:30,799
Speaker 3: been able to get back to all of you. This

876
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:33,680
Speaker 3: had more comments than I expected. Last night, I talked

877
00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:36,239
Speaker 3: to my husband about trying to get Sally evicted with

878
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:40,239
Speaker 3: a written notice and called my husband's mother to see

879
00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:42,920
Speaker 3: about having Sally come back to her house. We were

880
00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:44,640
Speaker 3: waiting for mother in law to call us back. Since

881
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:47,000
Speaker 3: she didn't answer, I had to leave for work, so

882
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:49,120
Speaker 3: I told my husband he needed to talk to Sally

883
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:52,560
Speaker 3: about the dog's food. While I was at work, I

884
00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:54,319
Speaker 3: received a text from my husband saying that he had

885
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:56,239
Speaker 3: talked to Sally and she told him she had the

886
00:39:56,239 --> 00:40:00,279
Speaker 3: dog food in her room because he wasn't eating, which

887
00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:03,080
Speaker 3: didn't make sense because he wasn't even in her room.

888
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:06,839
Speaker 3: She also said that I was a backstabbing b ward

889
00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:09,719
Speaker 3: and needed to apologize to her. My husband told her

890
00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:11,520
Speaker 3: that she had no right to talk about me that way,

891
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:13,760
Speaker 3: that I wouldn't be apologizing and if she had a problem,

892
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:16,000
Speaker 3: she could leave. Sally then left to call her grandmother

893
00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:18,440
Speaker 3: to get her on her side. I think the grandmother

894
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:20,560
Speaker 3: convinced her that she was in the wrong. Later, I

895
00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:23,360
Speaker 3: got a text message from Sally apologizing for calling me

896
00:40:23,360 --> 00:40:27,160
Speaker 3: a backstabbing beword and saying she had felt trapped at

897
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:30,520
Speaker 3: our house. So this is a batter, so it doesn't

898
00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:32,960
Speaker 3: actually matter what is happening in the house.

899
00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:36,960
Speaker 5: Hmmm, Sally, you need to get a job. I think

900
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:41,000
Speaker 5: you need to get some new therapy, and then you

901
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:44,000
Speaker 5: need to live alone so that you don't feel trapped

902
00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:45,160
Speaker 5: by anyone, but you're.

903
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:47,680
Speaker 3: Alone and a car, and like that's what she was

904
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:50,160
Speaker 3: supposed to be saving up for in the first place,

905
00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 3: like having listen, I don't like driving. I had to

906
00:40:54,120 --> 00:41:00,600
Speaker 3: drive through streets and traffic to get here. Is that

907
00:41:00,719 --> 00:41:02,600
Speaker 3: you want to not feel trapped that way to do it?

908
00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:04,560
Speaker 5: Or alternatively, if you're like I really don't want to

909
00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:07,240
Speaker 5: live alone, or like, even with savings, can't live alone

910
00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:10,480
Speaker 5: a friend that you know, like we are solely here

911
00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:13,560
Speaker 5: as roommates. We will still be friends, but like we're

912
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:15,879
Speaker 5: not controlling each other in any way. We don't rely

913
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:17,800
Speaker 5: on each other in any way for that kind of stuff,

914
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:20,960
Speaker 5: like something where it's like you're basically on your own.

915
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:23,840
Speaker 3: Obe told her we'd given her all the freedom she wanted,

916
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:25,600
Speaker 3: that all we'd asked for her was to get a

917
00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:27,480
Speaker 3: full time job, and that we couldn't do anything else

918
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:29,359
Speaker 3: to help her. I said, maybe it would be best

919
00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:31,799
Speaker 3: if she found another place to live, because staying here

920
00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:34,719
Speaker 3: was only making things worse for her. By the way,

921
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:37,160
Speaker 3: you can listen to full episodes but stories just like

922
00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:40,279
Speaker 3: this if you go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your

923
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:43,920
Speaker 3: favorite podcast app and search okay story time, Okay, I

924
00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:47,320
Speaker 3: want deeply to know what Sally said.

925
00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:50,480
Speaker 5: Okay, would do you have any other thoughts before we

926
00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:51,680
Speaker 5: go in? Any predictions?

927
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:56,439
Speaker 3: Any predictions? It's so many because I give you okay,

928
00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:59,680
Speaker 3: you write here, no no. I. Jessee texted back, saying

929
00:41:59,719 --> 00:42:01,360
Speaker 3: she and I'm like, oh god.

930
00:42:01,719 --> 00:42:04,680
Speaker 5: She was what okay is it? Saying she was going

931
00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:06,520
Speaker 5: to move out? Saying she's not gonna move out.

932
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:09,719
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be hopeful. I'm gonna say that Grandma came

933
00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:12,160
Speaker 3: in with the steel chair and convinced.

934
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:14,080
Speaker 5: Sally to have some logic, So she's gonna give where

935
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:17,000
Speaker 5: she is another try, because maybe she's trying to live

936
00:42:17,040 --> 00:42:17,520
Speaker 5: with Grandma.

937
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:21,080
Speaker 3: Oh, let's get grandma. I think Sally's Grandma's got that.

938
00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:23,920
Speaker 3: That's my pot saving him. I think Sally's gonna move out.

939
00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 4: That's you can.

940
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:26,440
Speaker 5: I'll concurr on that one.

941
00:42:26,480 --> 00:42:31,480
Speaker 3: Okay, and we're met. Sally texted back and agreed, saying

942
00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:33,960
Speaker 3: she was willing to go to the behavioral hospital and

943
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:36,319
Speaker 3: then live with her sister afterward to find a job

944
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:39,120
Speaker 3: near her. She said she still loved us and wanted

945
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:42,320
Speaker 3: to visit occasionally to try and fix our relationship. My

946
00:42:42,480 --> 00:42:44,880
Speaker 3: message Sally back and told her it was a good idea,

947
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:47,839
Speaker 3: and my husband would take her that night before she

948
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:50,799
Speaker 3: gets second guess herself. Sally's currently in the hospital and

949
00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:52,759
Speaker 3: if I have more updates, I will post them later.

950
00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:55,080
Speaker 3: Thank you for joining me on this roller coaster. Wow,

951
00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:57,080
Speaker 3: that's wonderful.

952
00:42:57,160 --> 00:42:58,400
Speaker 5: That's a wonderful ending.

953
00:42:58,600 --> 00:42:59,840
Speaker 3: I love a good ending.

954
00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:02,680
Speaker 5: I hope that that works out great and she gets

955
00:43:02,719 --> 00:43:04,399
Speaker 5: the help that she needs. And then when she goes

956
00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:06,440
Speaker 5: and lives with sister, that can be like a whole

957
00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:10,040
Speaker 5: fresh start. And yeah, hopefully a job wherever sister is

958
00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:12,600
Speaker 5: like that would be so great for her. And that's

959
00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:14,160
Speaker 5: the end of that story. But we're going to go

960
00:43:14,239 --> 00:43:17,799
Speaker 5: to the next one. My sister in law wants my

961
00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:21,920
Speaker 5: kids abroad for her wedding then ditch them right after

962
00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:22,520
Speaker 5: like a.

963
00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:23,600
Speaker 3: Reverse home alone.

964
00:43:23,640 --> 00:43:26,320
Speaker 5: My sister in law was in my wedding, and because

965
00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:28,600
Speaker 5: we live in different countries, along with the rest of

966
00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:31,960
Speaker 5: my bridesmaids, we ran the dates past everyone because of

967
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:35,320
Speaker 5: travel and work. My sister in law is getting married

968
00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:38,680
Speaker 5: in a year. We both work in education, but she

969
00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:41,200
Speaker 5: is taking this year off. By the way, this comes

970
00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:44,000
Speaker 5: from Individual Road thirty five eighty eight. And if you

971
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:45,520
Speaker 5: want us to meet your own stories. Go to the

972
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:49,200
Speaker 5: r slash Okay storytime subreddit. I'm Carly, I'm Riley, and

973
00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:51,719
Speaker 5: we're here to give good advice Goofily, but we don't

974
00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:54,279
Speaker 5: have all the answers. We only know what we would do,

975
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:56,040
Speaker 5: So let us know what you would do in the comments.

976
00:43:56,719 --> 00:43:59,520
Speaker 5: And Opie says she selected the date to get married

977
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:04,000
Speaker 5: to weeks before school gets out. She has two children herself,

978
00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:07,440
Speaker 5: but her venue is forty five minutes from her house.

979
00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:11,600
Speaker 5: We just had our fourth baby and she is getting

980
00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:15,600
Speaker 5: married a few days before our baby's birthday. The cost

981
00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:18,920
Speaker 5: of traveling for a wedding with four kids is around

982
00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:23,680
Speaker 5: six k. We plan to make this our big family

983
00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:26,360
Speaker 5: trip since we all haven't been there in a few years.

984
00:44:27,160 --> 00:44:30,359
Speaker 5: We were recently told that she wanted two of our

985
00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:33,680
Speaker 5: children to be in the wedding. She also wants all

986
00:44:33,719 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 5: of our kids in suits and dresses for pictures before

987
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:40,919
Speaker 5: the wedding. They can attend the pictures and the ceremony,

988
00:44:41,400 --> 00:44:45,480
Speaker 5: but can't attend the rest of the wedding. That's crazy.

989
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:49,200
Speaker 5: We were told she found a random babysitter to watch

990
00:44:49,239 --> 00:44:52,400
Speaker 5: them at the hotel, which is an absolute no for me.

991
00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:56,240
Speaker 5: We don't use babysitters where we live, so we wouldn't

992
00:44:56,280 --> 00:45:00,720
Speaker 5: in another country period. After taking time time to process

993
00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:03,600
Speaker 5: my thoughts, I emailed her and said since the flights

994
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:07,280
Speaker 5: would cost six K plus a babysitter for the wedding,

995
00:45:07,640 --> 00:45:11,080
Speaker 5: plus the kids would have to take the last week

996
00:45:11,440 --> 00:45:14,759
Speaker 5: off of school. Not to mention, I can't take that

997
00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:17,640
Speaker 5: time off for work due to my job restrictions. I

998
00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:21,640
Speaker 5: can only take a long weekend and the kids wouldn't

999
00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:23,759
Speaker 5: or and the kids would have to sit in a

1000
00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:26,800
Speaker 5: hotel room for the wedding. It just didn't make sense,

1001
00:45:27,560 --> 00:45:29,520
Speaker 5: I explained. My husband and I could go for the

1002
00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:31,759
Speaker 5: weekend and our kids wouldn't be in the wedding if

1003
00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:35,960
Speaker 5: they couldn't actually attend the wedding, I explained that with

1004
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:38,040
Speaker 5: my work, I would only be able to go for

1005
00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:41,080
Speaker 5: the weekend and we weren't going to have our family

1006
00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:45,160
Speaker 5: vacation be three days long for six k of flights.

1007
00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:49,400
Speaker 5: I said that them missing school and traveling all that

1008
00:45:49,440 --> 00:45:52,239
Speaker 5: way was a bit ridiculous if they couldn't attend the

1009
00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:55,400
Speaker 5: wedding since they are under the age of six. I

1010
00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:58,680
Speaker 5: explained that we would all love to celebrate with them,

1011
00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:01,720
Speaker 5: but because of their school and our work. My husband

1012
00:46:01,760 --> 00:46:04,120
Speaker 5: and I would go for the weekend. Then in a

1013
00:46:04,160 --> 00:46:07,200
Speaker 5: few weeks when school is out, the whole family would

1014
00:46:07,239 --> 00:46:10,040
Speaker 5: fly there and stay for a couple of weeks. They

1015
00:46:10,080 --> 00:46:12,160
Speaker 5: would be out of school and we wouldn't have to

1016
00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:15,359
Speaker 5: deal with a random babysitter or work issues. She called

1017
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:18,520
Speaker 5: my husband crying and saying she was sorry and wished

1018
00:46:18,640 --> 00:46:20,799
Speaker 5: the kids could come and get dressed up and take

1019
00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:25,000
Speaker 5: pictures altogether. I explained we could pay for their seats

1020
00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:28,120
Speaker 5: at the reception and meals, but she said her rule

1021
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:31,239
Speaker 5: was no kids. She said a lot of people have

1022
00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:35,040
Speaker 5: kids and it's too many. I explained that maybe there

1023
00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:37,200
Speaker 5: could be an exception for the kids in the wedding

1024
00:46:37,640 --> 00:46:40,759
Speaker 5: and their siblings who were traveling abroad. She said no.

1025
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:44,720
Speaker 5: So I explained that it would be our family vacation

1026
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:47,320
Speaker 5: and we would want to come for a couple of weeks,

1027
00:46:47,760 --> 00:46:50,520
Speaker 5: not take the kids out of school, and not rely

1028
00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:53,279
Speaker 5: on a random babysitter to watch them in a hotel room,

1029
00:46:53,840 --> 00:46:57,319
Speaker 5: which we would never do. And they know that, by

1030
00:46:57,360 --> 00:47:00,440
Speaker 5: the way, it's a huge wedding, like three hundred fifty

1031
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:03,960
Speaker 5: to four hundred guests and everyone they know, so anyone

1032
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:07,120
Speaker 5: that is family couldn't babysit either, because they're attending. My

1033
00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:09,160
Speaker 5: husband feels like it's not rude for her to not

1034
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:11,760
Speaker 5: invite the kids to the reception because she's the bride

1035
00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:15,440
Speaker 5: and that's her rule. However, just to add an additional layer,

1036
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:18,719
Speaker 5: my husband told me I couldn't say no kids allowed

1037
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:22,400
Speaker 5: when we got married because people were traveling abroad. This

1038
00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:27,560
Speaker 5: is her wedding now, and that was your wedding, and

1039
00:47:27,680 --> 00:47:31,680
Speaker 5: your husband, like, I do think it. It's like, sure,

1040
00:47:31,719 --> 00:47:33,880
Speaker 5: she's your sister in law. Sure there's ways around this.

1041
00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:35,840
Speaker 5: She doesn't want kids at her wedding, her wedding.

1042
00:47:35,960 --> 00:47:37,480
Speaker 3: I think that's the thing. Is Like, I'm kind of

1043
00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:39,760
Speaker 3: at the one where I'm like, I think you're both okay,

1044
00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:42,160
Speaker 3: like and I think there should have been more communication,

1045
00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:45,040
Speaker 3: but like, I think she is fine. She's said okay,

1046
00:47:45,239 --> 00:47:50,040
Speaker 3: I think she should understand why you are saying, Like

1047
00:47:50,120 --> 00:47:51,759
Speaker 3: I feel like that's where I'm kind of looking at

1048
00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:53,640
Speaker 3: the sister in law like this where I'm like, hey,

1049
00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:57,760
Speaker 3: we can be a little bit more mature about being like, Okay,

1050
00:47:58,719 --> 00:48:01,200
Speaker 3: I guess yeah, if it's gonna be that expensive, I

1051
00:48:01,239 --> 00:48:03,960
Speaker 3: can see why my sister in law wouldn't want to

1052
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:04,840
Speaker 3: send her kids.

1053
00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:07,000
Speaker 5: I'm at the point where it's like, neither of you

1054
00:48:07,120 --> 00:48:10,359
Speaker 5: is really doing anything wrong. Yeah, there could have been

1055
00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:13,000
Speaker 5: more communication so it wasn't happening this close to the wedding.

1056
00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:15,000
Speaker 5: But like sister in law is fully in the right

1057
00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:17,800
Speaker 5: for not wanting kids. However, sister in law then can't

1058
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:21,319
Speaker 5: expect that you will one hundred percent still bring your kids. Yeah,

1059
00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:23,560
Speaker 5: because that's way too expensive. I know there are a

1060
00:48:23,560 --> 00:48:26,279
Speaker 5: lot of layers here, and I'm not upset at all

1061
00:48:26,400 --> 00:48:30,160
Speaker 5: for not being a bridesmaid. I'm actually happy for that.

1062
00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:33,200
Speaker 5: I wonder if she should have asked about my kids'

1063
00:48:33,239 --> 00:48:35,960
Speaker 5: school schedule before planning to have them in the wedding

1064
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:38,960
Speaker 5: without telling us the date. I don't care if she

1065
00:48:39,160 --> 00:48:41,880
Speaker 5: wanted the date she wanted and didn't want to ask us,

1066
00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:44,480
Speaker 5: but I feel like she also then needs to know

1067
00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:46,600
Speaker 5: it may not work out if we can't swing it.

1068
00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:49,600
Speaker 5: She also knows my work and what I do, and

1069
00:48:49,719 --> 00:48:52,600
Speaker 5: knows I can't take time off then, so that was

1070
00:48:52,640 --> 00:48:55,800
Speaker 5: strange to me. My husband and I can't split ourselves

1071
00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:58,760
Speaker 5: up with him going with some and me staying home

1072
00:48:58,880 --> 00:49:01,440
Speaker 5: because our baby will be turning one that weekend of

1073
00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:05,040
Speaker 5: the wedding and we'd wish to be together. There's a

1074
00:49:05,120 --> 00:49:07,759
Speaker 5: lot here, am I the a hole and an edit

1075
00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:10,560
Speaker 5: to add, just to clarify, my husband is from this

1076
00:49:10,680 --> 00:49:13,120
Speaker 5: country and that is where the wedding is. It's not

1077
00:49:13,239 --> 00:49:16,560
Speaker 5: a destination wedding. It's where they live. We live in

1078
00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:19,600
Speaker 5: another country and would have to travel to them. We

1079
00:49:19,680 --> 00:49:21,960
Speaker 5: have been wanting to go there and haven't been in

1080
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:24,680
Speaker 5: a couple of years due to the cost and pregnancies.

1081
00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:27,600
Speaker 5: We plan to go, but when the date came, it

1082
00:49:27,680 --> 00:49:30,360
Speaker 5: was like, oh, shoot, that's tough. By the way, you know,

1083
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:33,680
Speaker 5: it's never tough. Gonna listen a full episodes of stories

1084
00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:36,719
Speaker 5: just like this. Just go to Spotify our podcasts. iHeartRadio.

1085
00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:37,160
Speaker 4: Switch up.

1086
00:49:37,160 --> 00:49:39,279
Speaker 5: Okay, story time, you're a little bit left, but uh,

1087
00:49:39,320 --> 00:49:40,440
Speaker 5: what's your feeling?

1088
00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:43,120
Speaker 3: I mean, not the a whole. We already kind of

1089
00:49:43,160 --> 00:49:45,600
Speaker 3: discussed it, Like, I don't think anybody's a holding it

1090
00:49:45,680 --> 00:49:46,399
Speaker 3: up over here.

1091
00:49:46,719 --> 00:49:49,400
Speaker 5: If you were to keep pushing and like continue to

1092
00:49:49,400 --> 00:49:51,840
Speaker 5: get mad, Dan, you might linger on a hole. But

1093
00:49:51,960 --> 00:49:56,600
Speaker 5: right now you seem understanding. Yeah, and like it seems

1094
00:49:56,640 --> 00:49:57,880
Speaker 5: like the sister in law.

1095
00:49:57,719 --> 00:50:01,560
Speaker 3: Is upset, but not mam.

1096
00:50:01,840 --> 00:50:04,000
Speaker 5: I feel like she's just kind of like, oh man,

1097
00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:05,919
Speaker 5: like bummer that the kids won't be here.

1098
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:08,560
Speaker 3: I think it says that way. I'm like looking at

1099
00:50:08,640 --> 00:50:12,920
Speaker 3: like this is a little update, like because my other,

1100
00:50:13,120 --> 00:50:16,040
Speaker 3: my one other concern is they want to go to

1101
00:50:16,080 --> 00:50:19,040
Speaker 3: the vacation after the wedding, which I think is totally

1102
00:50:19,040 --> 00:50:23,000
Speaker 3: fine are I'm like, I feel like that's prime honeymoon spot,

1103
00:50:23,040 --> 00:50:26,720
Speaker 3: so like they might not see like their like sister

1104
00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:30,360
Speaker 3: in law is gonna be but like if if everybody's

1105
00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:31,839
Speaker 3: okay with that, then yeah.

1106
00:50:31,920 --> 00:50:33,920
Speaker 5: And my thing too is like this kind of felt

1107
00:50:34,080 --> 00:50:35,799
Speaker 5: more like you guys just wanted this to be a

1108
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:38,400
Speaker 5: family vacation from the get go, and like there was

1109
00:50:38,440 --> 00:50:41,000
Speaker 5: a wedding, Like the whole point of this originally was

1110
00:50:41,160 --> 00:50:44,000
Speaker 5: a wedding, and it does suck how it all worked out.

1111
00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:47,279
Speaker 5: I think that everyone is hopefully continuing to behave very

1112
00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:51,040
Speaker 5: calmly and understanding. It's just really inconvenient timing. But like,

1113
00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:54,080
Speaker 5: hit me with it, Carly, I'm hitting with it. Here

1114
00:50:54,120 --> 00:50:56,880
Speaker 5: we go. Then when we heard no kids, I was like, wait,

1115
00:50:56,960 --> 00:51:00,360
Speaker 5: what now it's just gotten complicated with my word, the

1116
00:51:00,440 --> 00:51:03,600
Speaker 5: kids not invited, having to buy suits and get dressed

1117
00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:07,000
Speaker 5: up for a ceremony, and then put in a hotel like, nah,

1118
00:51:07,040 --> 00:51:10,040
Speaker 5: that's not sitting right with me. I didn't want to

1119
00:51:10,080 --> 00:51:12,759
Speaker 5: not be empathetic since we haven't seen a lot of

1120
00:51:12,760 --> 00:51:15,640
Speaker 5: this family in a while, so I suggested we go

1121
00:51:15,760 --> 00:51:18,840
Speaker 5: three weeks later with the kids and my husband and

1122
00:51:18,880 --> 00:51:23,640
Speaker 5: I go for the wedding weekend. Comments Communer one, So

1123
00:51:23,640 --> 00:51:25,600
Speaker 5: she wants you to pay thousands of dollars so she

1124
00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:28,520
Speaker 5: can use your kids as props at a destination wedding

1125
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:30,520
Speaker 5: and then give them to some stranger to take care

1126
00:51:30,560 --> 00:51:34,440
Speaker 5: of in a foreign country. Commenter two, not the ahole.

1127
00:51:34,760 --> 00:51:36,680
Speaker 5: If it's so important for some of your kids to

1128
00:51:36,680 --> 00:51:38,799
Speaker 5: be there for some things, she would have checked with

1129
00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:42,279
Speaker 5: you all before scheduling her wedding, just as you did.

1130
00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:46,080
Speaker 5: She also can't schedule something without checking in with you guys,

1131
00:51:46,120 --> 00:51:48,080
Speaker 5: and then cry about it when it doesn't work out.

1132
00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:51,320
Speaker 5: She can't have it both ways. She is being rude

1133
00:51:51,360 --> 00:51:54,520
Speaker 5: and trying to emotionally manipulate your husband, and he's falling

1134
00:51:54,600 --> 00:51:57,640
Speaker 5: for it. What is his plan? You all drop six

1135
00:51:57,760 --> 00:51:59,640
Speaker 5: k to fly there and you hang in a hotel

1136
00:51:59,680 --> 00:52:01,880
Speaker 5: with four kids while he's at the event they're not

1137
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:04,520
Speaker 5: allowed at. Or who is supposed to watch two kids

1138
00:52:04,520 --> 00:52:07,879
Speaker 5: at the wedding and two kids who aren't allowed. He's

1139
00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:10,560
Speaker 5: in the wedding, he can't watch them, so you will

1140
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:12,960
Speaker 5: be stuck figuring all that out. Here's my other thing.

1141
00:52:13,320 --> 00:52:15,239
Speaker 5: You said only two kids have to be in the wedding. Yes,

1142
00:52:15,280 --> 00:52:16,960
Speaker 5: it is six k for all of them. Fly out.

1143
00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:19,239
Speaker 5: You're telling me. I know that. You were like, it's

1144
00:52:19,280 --> 00:52:22,040
Speaker 5: a big wedding. Everybody's gonna be there. There's no one

1145
00:52:22,080 --> 00:52:23,880
Speaker 5: back in your home country that you trust to be

1146
00:52:24,200 --> 00:52:25,719
Speaker 5: at the other two though.

1147
00:52:25,840 --> 00:52:28,759
Speaker 3: I know, but don't, baby, we.

1148
00:52:28,760 --> 00:52:31,280
Speaker 5: Can't like, oh, we can't call up like the cool

1149
00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:33,680
Speaker 5: neighbor kid to be like you want some.

1150
00:52:34,120 --> 00:52:36,600
Speaker 3: Carley's here, Like, are we doing enough to support the

1151
00:52:36,680 --> 00:52:40,000
Speaker 3: cool neighbor kid economy? I just want to pay they're

1152
00:52:40,080 --> 00:52:41,360
Speaker 3: taking all these jobs.

1153
00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:46,040
Speaker 5: I'm worried about some side hustles. Yeah, no, I don't know.

1154
00:52:46,160 --> 00:52:48,319
Speaker 5: I feel like she's really not that mad anymore. Though,

1155
00:52:48,360 --> 00:52:50,439
Speaker 5: Like I feel like everybody's just kind of like, why

1156
00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:53,279
Speaker 5: are we Like it's solved, the guys are going for

1157
00:52:53,320 --> 00:52:54,359
Speaker 5: the weekend. What's this?

1158
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:57,560
Speaker 3: Well yeah, wait, did they decide they're going for the weekend?

1159
00:52:57,600 --> 00:53:00,959
Speaker 5: They're going? Okay, so then right, okay, So that brings

1160
00:53:00,960 --> 00:53:03,160
Speaker 5: me back to where are your kids staying while you're

1161
00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:08,839
Speaker 5: gone for the weekend? That point, if they if four

1162
00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:11,359
Speaker 5: of them are staying home, is one just old enough

1163
00:53:11,360 --> 00:53:14,840
Speaker 5: to take care of them? In which case do you

1164
00:53:15,040 --> 00:53:17,200
Speaker 5: If they're not, do you have a babysitter? In which

1165
00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:19,359
Speaker 5: case couldn't you just bring the other two that were

1166
00:53:19,360 --> 00:53:21,520
Speaker 5: supposed to be in the wedding. If he can turn

1167
00:53:21,560 --> 00:53:24,520
Speaker 5: on his brain and his loyalty to his actual family,

1168
00:53:24,719 --> 00:53:27,680
Speaker 5: you and his kids, then I would wash my hands

1169
00:53:27,719 --> 00:53:30,000
Speaker 5: at the entire thing and stay back with the kids.

1170
00:53:30,360 --> 00:53:33,520
Speaker 5: He can go to the wedding alone. Someone replies, if

1171
00:53:33,560 --> 00:53:35,960
Speaker 5: it was so important to her, she could make an

1172
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:38,520
Speaker 5: exception to a rule for children in the wedding party

1173
00:53:38,640 --> 00:53:42,160
Speaker 5: or children who are traveling from abroad. Many child free

1174
00:53:42,160 --> 00:53:45,080
Speaker 5: weddings have an exception for wedding party kids or kids

1175
00:53:45,120 --> 00:53:48,680
Speaker 5: of immediate family. She only cares about what is easiest

1176
00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:51,480
Speaker 5: or most convenient for her, and doesn't think at all

1177
00:53:51,600 --> 00:53:55,319
Speaker 5: about how costly or unsafe or inconvenient her plans may

1178
00:53:55,360 --> 00:53:58,680
Speaker 5: be for others. Just leave them at home, presumably with

1179
00:53:58,760 --> 00:54:03,640
Speaker 5: your family, Opie says, with my mom and their longtime nanny.

1180
00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:06,879
Speaker 5: So we do have a name, So just so you're

1181
00:54:06,920 --> 00:54:09,800
Speaker 5: just not calling it a babysitter. You've had a nanny,

1182
00:54:09,800 --> 00:54:13,920
Speaker 5: this whole linguishticle thing. Your mom is at home, not

1183
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:17,960
Speaker 5: going to the wedding with a nanny. I guess mom.

1184
00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:20,120
Speaker 3: I'm just confused now.

1185
00:54:20,120 --> 00:54:21,879
Speaker 5: I'm kind of like Opie with.

1186
00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:24,440
Speaker 3: The heck, well, I'm still I still stand by, Like

1187
00:54:25,040 --> 00:54:29,680
Speaker 3: you know, the timing is weird, like school expenses, like.

1188
00:54:29,680 --> 00:54:32,839
Speaker 5: All that thing. Ultimately, it still wasn't gonna work out

1189
00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:35,600
Speaker 5: because of all these other things, all these other factors.

1190
00:54:35,719 --> 00:54:39,480
Speaker 5: So like this one that's caused by the bride is

1191
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:45,360
Speaker 5: like not necessarily the deciding factor. It's like, it's not

1192
00:54:45,440 --> 00:54:48,120
Speaker 5: worth it to go for a week it's too expensive

1193
00:54:48,160 --> 00:54:50,160
Speaker 5: to take that many people for the weekend. You were

1194
00:54:50,239 --> 00:54:52,000
Speaker 5: always just gonna go for the weekend because of your

1195
00:54:52,120 --> 00:54:54,520
Speaker 5: work thing. So it's like, really it just comes down

1196
00:54:54,520 --> 00:54:57,000
Speaker 5: to you can't take the kids for that weekend, but

1197
00:54:57,040 --> 00:54:59,640
Speaker 5: you were still upset that it was too expensive. Yeah,

1198
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:01,919
Speaker 5: they way they You guys weren't gonna go for longer

1199
00:55:01,960 --> 00:55:03,879
Speaker 5: than a weekend, is what I'm confused about.

1200
00:55:04,480 --> 00:55:07,719
Speaker 3: Go to a theme park. So I'm let's let's go

1201
00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:08,439
Speaker 3: to the theme park.

1202
00:55:08,760 --> 00:55:11,080
Speaker 5: Shit with the nanny and the mom online the weekend

1203
00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:13,279
Speaker 5: while mom and dad are at the wedding, I work

1204
00:55:13,320 --> 00:55:15,880
Speaker 5: from home, so they don't even get left with the

1205
00:55:15,960 --> 00:55:19,120
Speaker 5: nanny without me. My mom rarely needs to watch them

1206
00:55:19,160 --> 00:55:21,839
Speaker 5: because we don't have outings without them, except for like

1207
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:25,680
Speaker 5: school conferences and stuff like that. Otherwise they come where

1208
00:55:25,719 --> 00:55:27,920
Speaker 5: we go for the most part, or I may go

1209
00:55:27,960 --> 00:55:30,640
Speaker 5: to a shop and my husband stays with them. We

1210
00:55:30,719 --> 00:55:33,759
Speaker 5: manage with our nanny and my mom. Our date nights

1211
00:55:33,760 --> 00:55:36,080
Speaker 5: are when the kids go to bed, we watch a movie,

1212
00:55:36,160 --> 00:55:39,160
Speaker 5: so we never needed a babysitter as of yet. Commune

1213
00:55:39,160 --> 00:55:42,040
Speaker 5: of three, Why isn't your husband handling this issue? Either

1214
00:55:42,080 --> 00:55:44,680
Speaker 5: he agrees with her plan or lacks the stones to

1215
00:55:44,719 --> 00:55:48,560
Speaker 5: tell her. Opie says, he never likes to ruffle feathers.

1216
00:55:49,080 --> 00:55:51,279
Speaker 5: I explained it to him, but in doing so, he

1217
00:55:51,400 --> 00:55:55,400
Speaker 5: is disregarding my feelings. We are working on that. Someone replies,

1218
00:55:55,560 --> 00:55:59,319
Speaker 5: he is ruffling feathers though yours. He can't agree with

1219
00:55:59,360 --> 00:56:01,680
Speaker 5: both of you and your sister in law, so this

1220
00:56:01,840 --> 00:56:03,880
Speaker 5: is one of those times he just has to decide

1221
00:56:03,880 --> 00:56:05,560
Speaker 5: if he's going to be a good husband or not.

1222
00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:08,600
Speaker 5: But the way he's acting now, he's either a coward

1223
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:11,200
Speaker 5: who prefers to throw you under the bus to avoid

1224
00:56:11,239 --> 00:56:14,040
Speaker 5: standing up to his family, or he cares more about

1225
00:56:14,040 --> 00:56:16,880
Speaker 5: catering to his spoiled sister than he does about you,

1226
00:56:16,880 --> 00:56:20,320
Speaker 5: your comfort, and your children's safety. Either one is pretty sad.

1227
00:56:20,480 --> 00:56:23,560
Speaker 5: That's the end of that story. Hey is John oge host.

1228
00:56:23,560 --> 00:56:25,080
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories, but a quick,

1229
00:56:25,080 --> 00:56:26,640
Speaker 1: free minute break of ads from our sponsors.

1230
00:56:27,239 --> 00:56:31,320
Speaker 3: My sister in laws dislike me because I stole their brother.

1231
00:56:31,600 --> 00:56:33,759
Speaker 5: Just snatch them right out of their home? What'd you

1232
00:56:33,800 --> 00:56:34,160
Speaker 5: do here?

1233
00:56:34,360 --> 00:56:37,400
Speaker 3: What do you do when you're in law's quite literally

1234
00:56:37,840 --> 00:56:40,000
Speaker 3: hate you? I met my husband about three and a

1235
00:56:40,040 --> 00:56:43,000
Speaker 3: half years ago in Anchorage, Alaska, where I was stationed

1236
00:56:43,040 --> 00:56:45,719
Speaker 3: in the Air Force. His family lived a three hour

1237
00:56:45,800 --> 00:56:47,520
Speaker 3: drive from us, and I met them for the first

1238
00:56:47,520 --> 00:56:49,759
Speaker 3: time a couple of months after we met. I love

1239
00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:52,760
Speaker 3: them all, and especially his mom. She seemed so nice.

1240
00:56:52,840 --> 00:56:54,600
Speaker 3: You know what else is nice the fact that this

1241
00:56:54,719 --> 00:56:58,680
Speaker 3: story comes from Uservidani eighty eight. And if you want

1242
00:56:58,719 --> 00:57:01,880
Speaker 3: to submit your own redd it's your own stories. Go

1243
00:57:01,920 --> 00:57:05,400
Speaker 3: to our slash Okay story time. I'm Riley, I'm Carly,

1244
00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:09,040
Speaker 3: and uh boy, let me tell you we're here to

1245
00:57:09,080 --> 00:57:12,319
Speaker 3: give good advice, goofully, don't have all the answers. You

1246
00:57:12,360 --> 00:57:15,279
Speaker 3: surely don't. We only know what we would do, so

1247
00:57:15,360 --> 00:57:17,760
Speaker 3: let us know what you would do in those comments.

1248
00:57:17,920 --> 00:57:21,000
Speaker 3: He has three sisters. The sisters are as follows. One

1249
00:57:21,040 --> 00:57:24,800
Speaker 3: is currently fifteen, one nineteen or twenty, and one nearing thirty.

1250
00:57:25,320 --> 00:57:28,480
Speaker 3: The youngest sister, Sue, seemed a little odd, but she

1251
00:57:28,600 --> 00:57:32,120
Speaker 3: was very young. The middle sister, Wilma, seemed like kind

1252
00:57:32,120 --> 00:57:34,720
Speaker 3: of a witch from the start. My then boyfriend had

1253
00:57:34,760 --> 00:57:37,880
Speaker 3: always had issues with her. She was his father's only

1254
00:57:37,920 --> 00:57:42,400
Speaker 3: biological child. The rest were in artificial instemination babies and

1255
00:57:42,560 --> 00:57:46,960
Speaker 3: always felt entitled. The older sister, Jess, was always easy

1256
00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:49,480
Speaker 3: to get along with. Five months into our relationship, I

1257
00:57:49,560 --> 00:57:52,720
Speaker 3: found out my boyfriend had been talking to a woman online,

1258
00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:55,280
Speaker 3: and I broke up with him. A month later, we

1259
00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:58,280
Speaker 3: began dating again, and things were never the same. His

1260
00:57:58,400 --> 00:58:02,000
Speaker 3: mom purposefully embarrassed me whenever she got the chance. One

1261
00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:04,280
Speaker 3: example was when we went to visit her. At this time,

1262
00:58:04,320 --> 00:58:07,160
Speaker 3: I was dealing with acne problems associated with a food allergy.

1263
00:58:07,440 --> 00:58:09,439
Speaker 3: My boyfriend went out to their storage unit for about

1264
00:58:09,480 --> 00:58:11,640
Speaker 3: an hour and I stayed with her. Then, the three

1265
00:58:11,640 --> 00:58:14,280
Speaker 3: sisters emerged immediately after they came into the room. She

1266
00:58:14,280 --> 00:58:16,440
Speaker 3: asked me if I had tried proactive yet and offered

1267
00:58:16,480 --> 00:58:20,640
Speaker 3: me some I was mortified. Wilma decided to publicly come

1268
00:58:20,680 --> 00:58:23,160
Speaker 3: out as a wit. Wilma called me out on my

1269
00:58:23,200 --> 00:58:26,200
Speaker 3: Facebook page, accusing me of turning her brother against the

1270
00:58:26,240 --> 00:58:29,720
Speaker 3: family and basically told me she hated me. I promptly

1271
00:58:30,120 --> 00:58:32,439
Speaker 3: blocked her and we haven't spoken since. We were married

1272
00:58:32,520 --> 00:58:35,720
Speaker 3: last December in Florida and invited the family, with the

1273
00:58:35,760 --> 00:58:39,160
Speaker 3: exception of Wilma fiance made it very clear that she

1274
00:58:39,240 --> 00:58:40,920
Speaker 3: was not to be at the wedding or any of

1275
00:58:40,960 --> 00:58:44,840
Speaker 3: the wedding events. We got married at Disney World and

1276
00:58:44,880 --> 00:58:46,640
Speaker 3: planned to spend a day with the families in the

1277
00:58:46,640 --> 00:58:49,840
Speaker 3: Magic Kingdom, and requested that Wilma find another location to

1278
00:58:49,880 --> 00:58:53,680
Speaker 3: spend the day since her mom insisted on bringing her.

1279
00:58:54,000 --> 00:58:56,760
Speaker 3: The wedding came and his mom, Wilma, and Sue k

1280
00:58:56,920 --> 00:58:59,360
Speaker 3: He met his mom and Sue in the Magic Kingdom

1281
00:58:59,400 --> 00:59:02,560
Speaker 3: and you would have they were literally in heck. They

1282
00:59:02,560 --> 00:59:05,360
Speaker 3: acted like they hated every second of it. He stuck

1283
00:59:05,400 --> 00:59:07,680
Speaker 3: me on a ten minute dark ride with his sister

1284
00:59:07,880 --> 00:59:09,840
Speaker 3: and I tried to talk to her. She refused to

1285
00:59:09,840 --> 00:59:13,360
Speaker 3: answer anything I said, acknowledging me only with nuds or smirks.

1286
00:59:13,680 --> 00:59:17,160
Speaker 3: That night was our rehearsal dinner. His mom and Sue

1287
00:59:17,200 --> 00:59:20,200
Speaker 3: were nowhere to be seen. We waited and waited, called

1288
00:59:20,240 --> 00:59:22,120
Speaker 3: and found out that they had stayed late at the

1289
00:59:22,120 --> 00:59:24,840
Speaker 3: Magic Kingdom. They showed up over an hour late, and

1290
00:59:24,920 --> 00:59:27,640
Speaker 3: Sue refused to eat. Wilma was waiting in the car.

1291
00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:31,560
Speaker 3: The next day was the wedding day. His mom and

1292
00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:35,320
Speaker 3: Sue showed up at my local at my local hotel room.

1293
00:59:36,200 --> 00:59:38,959
Speaker 3: His mom and Sue showed up at my hotel room

1294
00:59:39,040 --> 00:59:41,200
Speaker 3: and ended up waiting in the lobby because they didn't

1295
00:59:41,240 --> 00:59:42,680
Speaker 3: want to be in the room with my mom and

1296
00:59:42,720 --> 00:59:45,720
Speaker 3: I at the wedding. After the ceremony, they refused to

1297
00:59:45,720 --> 00:59:48,080
Speaker 3: come out and greet us as a new couple. People

1298
00:59:48,120 --> 00:59:51,040
Speaker 3: literally had to maneuver around them to get to us.

1299
00:59:51,560 --> 00:59:54,200
Speaker 3: They separated themselves from my family during the first dance

1300
00:59:54,240 --> 00:59:56,520
Speaker 3: and cake cutting. They left without a word to me.

1301
00:59:57,360 --> 01:00:00,400
Speaker 3: At our reception dinner, Sue again refused to eat and

1302
01:00:00,480 --> 01:00:02,960
Speaker 3: his mom refused to speak. They also showed up late

1303
01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:06,200
Speaker 3: and wearing blue jeans. My husband chased them down and

1304
01:00:06,240 --> 01:00:09,600
Speaker 3: told them they needed to tell me goodbye. He caught

1305
01:00:09,640 --> 01:00:12,000
Speaker 3: them halfway to their car. They did not take their

1306
01:00:12,000 --> 01:00:14,480
Speaker 3: wedding favors, and his mom left her corsage laying on

1307
01:00:14,520 --> 01:00:17,800
Speaker 3: the table. They declined to come to our post wedding brunch.

1308
01:00:18,080 --> 01:00:20,800
Speaker 3: Since the wedding, his mom has apologized to my mom,

1309
01:00:20,880 --> 01:00:23,560
Speaker 3: but not to either of us. Sue's birthday was in

1310
01:00:23,600 --> 01:00:25,680
Speaker 3: August and I tried to send her a gift card

1311
01:00:25,760 --> 01:00:29,560
Speaker 3: via Facebook. I noticed she had me partially blocked. Today

1312
01:00:29,600 --> 01:00:32,640
Speaker 3: I noticed she's deleted me completely from her page. My

1313
01:00:32,720 --> 01:00:34,640
Speaker 3: husband hates that his family can't stand me, and we

1314
01:00:34,680 --> 01:00:37,320
Speaker 3: don't understand why we have not seen them since December

1315
01:00:37,320 --> 01:00:39,800
Speaker 3: and have no plans to see them in the foreseeable future.

1316
01:00:40,120 --> 01:00:41,760
Speaker 3: I do not get a response as to why they

1317
01:00:41,800 --> 01:00:44,360
Speaker 3: dislike me so much. Any update, please, I'll tell you why.

1318
01:00:44,360 --> 01:00:46,160
Speaker 3: It's because you broke up with their son. And I'm

1319
01:00:46,160 --> 01:00:47,680
Speaker 3: not saying that you're in the wrong for doing that,

1320
01:00:47,720 --> 01:00:50,600
Speaker 3: but like that is to me, from the evidence put forth,

1321
01:00:50,680 --> 01:00:51,919
Speaker 3: the most likely reach.

1322
01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:55,240
Speaker 5: You think it's from that from the OG breakup back

1323
01:00:55,320 --> 01:00:56,120
Speaker 5: in whenever.

1324
01:00:55,920 --> 01:00:58,520
Speaker 3: And again, they're not right for that, but like the

1325
01:00:58,600 --> 01:01:01,040
Speaker 3: timeline kind of matches up, like they were all nice

1326
01:01:01,040 --> 01:01:04,040
Speaker 3: to her, and then her husband was talking to somebody

1327
01:01:04,040 --> 01:01:07,440
Speaker 3: else online she or at the time boyfriend. She breaks

1328
01:01:07,560 --> 01:01:09,960
Speaker 3: up with him, but then they decide okay, like maybe

1329
01:01:10,040 --> 01:01:12,360
Speaker 3: let's get back together, work this out. And then after

1330
01:01:12,400 --> 01:01:14,480
Speaker 3: that is when they're mean to her. Plus Wilma, who's

1331
01:01:14,480 --> 01:01:18,360
Speaker 3: just got a chip on her shir Yeah, can I say, Wilma,

1332
01:01:18,720 --> 01:01:23,000
Speaker 3: seems like that naturals didn't didn't do much for you,

1333
01:01:23,440 --> 01:01:26,240
Speaker 3: just getting you booted from weddings and just get Yeah,

1334
01:01:26,280 --> 01:01:30,280
Speaker 3: if you're the only one who was not artificially like

1335
01:01:30,760 --> 01:01:33,600
Speaker 3: brought about by artificial insemination, but you're also the only

1336
01:01:33,640 --> 01:01:38,480
Speaker 3: one that was naturally not chill, I don't know.

1337
01:01:38,560 --> 01:01:40,360
Speaker 5: Maybe the artificial was the way to go.

1338
01:01:41,600 --> 01:01:44,960
Speaker 3: There's an update. After ten long months of waiting, we

1339
01:01:45,080 --> 01:01:47,960
Speaker 3: finally got an email from his mother in a nutshell.

1340
01:01:48,240 --> 01:01:51,200
Speaker 3: No apology was mentioned. I sent a long email to her,

1341
01:01:51,920 --> 01:01:53,640
Speaker 3: told her that I'm tired of the way her family

1342
01:01:53,640 --> 01:01:55,640
Speaker 3: treats me and my husband, that she is wrong, and

1343
01:01:55,640 --> 01:01:57,960
Speaker 3: that we have no intention of associating with her family

1344
01:01:58,000 --> 01:02:01,200
Speaker 3: until things changed drastically. At first, she flat out refused

1345
01:02:01,200 --> 01:02:03,240
Speaker 3: to even read my email. My husband told her to

1346
01:02:03,280 --> 01:02:05,720
Speaker 3: stop being so disrespectful to his wife, so she said

1347
01:02:05,720 --> 01:02:07,200
Speaker 3: she read it and will be putting a letter in

1348
01:02:07,240 --> 01:02:10,280
Speaker 3: the mail for us. Meanwhile, Sue had deleted me off Facebook,

1349
01:02:10,320 --> 01:02:12,120
Speaker 3: and I sent her a message asking her what her

1350
01:02:12,120 --> 01:02:14,360
Speaker 3: problem was with me and what I have ever done

1351
01:02:14,360 --> 01:02:16,760
Speaker 3: to deserve the way they treat me. The response was,

1352
01:02:17,160 --> 01:02:19,840
Speaker 3: to answer your question, You're just a witch. You were

1353
01:02:19,840 --> 01:02:21,760
Speaker 3: mean to Wilma, and anyone that is mean to her

1354
01:02:21,840 --> 01:02:24,000
Speaker 3: isn't going to be liked by any of us, especially me.

1355
01:02:24,440 --> 01:02:26,840
Speaker 3: Just because I unfronted you on Facebook, isn't any implication

1356
01:02:26,880 --> 01:02:29,200
Speaker 3: of my feelings towards you. Although you're write none of

1357
01:02:29,280 --> 01:02:31,360
Speaker 3: us can stand you at all. Get over it. I

1358
01:02:31,520 --> 01:02:35,000
Speaker 3: was mean to Wilma because she publicly called me a

1359
01:02:35,040 --> 01:02:39,240
Speaker 3: witch on Facebook. The meanness was calling her a witch,

1360
01:02:39,320 --> 01:02:42,240
Speaker 3: back blocking her, and declining to send her Christmas presents

1361
01:02:42,240 --> 01:02:46,000
Speaker 3: after I responded to Sue by explaining the above, reminding

1362
01:02:46,040 --> 01:02:47,760
Speaker 3: her that I am now a part of the family

1363
01:02:47,840 --> 01:02:50,040
Speaker 3: and will be around for a while, and telling her

1364
01:02:50,040 --> 01:02:51,720
Speaker 3: that as long as they continue to treat me like

1365
01:02:51,760 --> 01:02:54,040
Speaker 3: a pile of crap, her relationship with us will be

1366
01:02:54,200 --> 01:02:57,400
Speaker 3: essentially non existence. Her response, maybe if you actually got

1367
01:02:57,440 --> 01:02:59,280
Speaker 3: over yourselves and made an attempt to be around me,

1368
01:02:59,400 --> 01:03:01,760
Speaker 3: you know what's going on, but neither of you care,

1369
01:03:01,960 --> 01:03:03,960
Speaker 3: and as long as you're even breathing, I don't want

1370
01:03:03,960 --> 01:03:06,240
Speaker 3: anything to do with either of you. You ruin my family.

1371
01:03:06,240 --> 01:03:07,840
Speaker 3: I hope you're proud of yourself. I asked why I

1372
01:03:07,840 --> 01:03:09,480
Speaker 3: would want to be around someone who treats me the

1373
01:03:09,520 --> 01:03:11,960
Speaker 3: way she does, and ask her what exactly we have

1374
01:03:12,000 --> 01:03:14,960
Speaker 3: done to each to her other than getting married to

1375
01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:17,400
Speaker 3: each other. Her response, if you actually took some time

1376
01:03:17,400 --> 01:03:19,280
Speaker 3: and thought about all the crap you've done to my family,

1377
01:03:19,480 --> 01:03:22,040
Speaker 3: you'd see why we treat you like this. You treat

1378
01:03:22,080 --> 01:03:23,920
Speaker 3: us ten times worse and expect us to apologize like

1379
01:03:23,960 --> 01:03:25,880
Speaker 3: it's all our fault. You need to get over yourself

1380
01:03:25,920 --> 01:03:28,200
Speaker 3: and realize what a crap person you are. Opie asked

1381
01:03:28,200 --> 01:03:30,840
Speaker 3: her again what we have done to her or her family.

1382
01:03:31,240 --> 01:03:33,240
Speaker 3: She replied by saying if I didn't know, I didn't

1383
01:03:33,240 --> 01:03:35,520
Speaker 3: deserve an explanation. This was my second thing, is like

1384
01:03:35,720 --> 01:03:38,040
Speaker 3: I don't like when people do this. When people are

1385
01:03:38,040 --> 01:03:39,840
Speaker 3: like you should know what you've done, or like da

1386
01:03:39,920 --> 01:03:41,880
Speaker 3: da da, it's like no, if you really have problems

1387
01:03:41,920 --> 01:03:44,320
Speaker 3: with the behavior, then you need to be like And

1388
01:03:44,560 --> 01:03:46,680
Speaker 3: it's hard because at the same time, it's like the

1389
01:03:46,760 --> 01:03:49,120
Speaker 3: itemized list can be overwhelming when people are like, you

1390
01:03:49,160 --> 01:03:50,680
Speaker 3: did this, you did this, you did this. But I

1391
01:03:50,720 --> 01:03:51,960
Speaker 3: feel like there's a nice middle ground.

1392
01:03:52,040 --> 01:03:55,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, I would say, though, if they have explained it

1393
01:03:55,800 --> 01:03:57,520
Speaker 5: to someone before, and in this case, they have not

1394
01:03:57,600 --> 01:03:59,720
Speaker 5: explained it to you. If people do this to you

1395
01:03:59,760 --> 01:04:02,280
Speaker 5: and you have explained it before, it's totally also within

1396
01:04:02,320 --> 01:04:04,440
Speaker 5: your right to be. Like I've told you so many times.

1397
01:04:04,920 --> 01:04:06,000
Speaker 5: In this case, though, Opie does not.

1398
01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:06,439
Speaker 4: Have a list.

1399
01:04:06,880 --> 01:04:09,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, there is no list. I told her that meant

1400
01:04:09,440 --> 01:04:12,880
Speaker 3: she had no explanation. She replied, I hope you're effing

1401
01:04:12,960 --> 01:04:13,960
Speaker 3: happy with yourself.

1402
01:04:14,360 --> 01:04:15,080
Speaker 4: I know I.

1403
01:04:15,040 --> 01:04:20,160
Speaker 3: Won't be until you've passed away, followed by none of

1404
01:04:20,200 --> 01:04:22,440
Speaker 3: us want to have any communication with you after what

1405
01:04:22,480 --> 01:04:24,320
Speaker 3: you two have done, and if it wasn't for you,

1406
01:04:24,400 --> 01:04:26,440
Speaker 3: nothing would have ever been ruined at all. How are

1407
01:04:26,480 --> 01:04:28,240
Speaker 3: you so stupid that you actually put the blame on

1408
01:04:28,360 --> 01:04:30,720
Speaker 3: my family? I hope you know that because of you,

1409
01:04:30,760 --> 01:04:33,360
Speaker 3: my life has been torn apart. Thanks for effing everything.

1410
01:04:33,440 --> 01:04:34,680
Speaker 3: I can't wait for you to pass away.

1411
01:04:34,720 --> 01:04:35,640
Speaker 5: The world will be happier.

1412
01:04:35,640 --> 01:04:37,760
Speaker 3: Then, I replied by asking her again what I had

1413
01:04:37,760 --> 01:04:39,440
Speaker 3: done to her. I told her that if she told

1414
01:04:39,440 --> 01:04:42,240
Speaker 3: me what we have done that was so horrible, maybe

1415
01:04:42,280 --> 01:04:44,560
Speaker 3: we could work on fixing it. Her reply, We're not

1416
01:04:44,600 --> 01:04:45,440
Speaker 3: going over this again.

1417
01:04:45,560 --> 01:04:45,880
Speaker 5: Bye.

1418
01:04:45,920 --> 01:04:48,360
Speaker 3: That's the thing with like these people is like like

1419
01:04:48,640 --> 01:04:49,200
Speaker 3: you can't.

1420
01:04:49,600 --> 01:04:51,760
Speaker 5: You're not going to reason with them, You're not playing.

1421
01:04:52,960 --> 01:04:54,520
Speaker 5: And she's a teenager.

1422
01:04:55,800 --> 01:04:59,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, my husband spoke to his mom about this, and

1423
01:04:59,320 --> 01:05:01,680
Speaker 3: she may exceed about how Sue is hurt and that's

1424
01:05:01,680 --> 01:05:04,200
Speaker 3: why she said these things. Apparently her mother forced her

1425
01:05:04,280 --> 01:05:06,520
Speaker 3: to apologize, because several hours later I got a sorry

1426
01:05:06,560 --> 01:05:09,040
Speaker 3: in my inbox. There is an edit. My husband has

1427
01:05:09,080 --> 01:05:11,560
Speaker 3: had problems with Wilma for many years before we even met,

1428
01:05:11,600 --> 01:05:13,080
Speaker 3: and did not speak to her at all when we

1429
01:05:13,120 --> 01:05:15,560
Speaker 3: first met. I spent two years trying to get them

1430
01:05:15,600 --> 01:05:17,919
Speaker 3: to talk, but she was repeatedly rude to both of us.

1431
01:05:18,200 --> 01:05:20,480
Speaker 3: When we began planning our wedding, I attempted to get

1432
01:05:20,520 --> 01:05:23,600
Speaker 3: my husband to invite her. I told him that she

1433
01:05:23,680 --> 01:05:25,320
Speaker 3: was his sister and he would regret not having her

1434
01:05:25,320 --> 01:05:27,440
Speaker 3: there in the future. He did not want her there.

1435
01:05:27,600 --> 01:05:30,040
Speaker 3: This feud pre dates this is crazy.

1436
01:05:30,680 --> 01:05:33,439
Speaker 5: Yeah, full no contact. I'm going to remain that way

1437
01:05:33,440 --> 01:05:34,320
Speaker 5: for the rest of the story.

1438
01:05:34,360 --> 01:05:34,560
Speaker 4: Now.

1439
01:05:34,600 --> 01:05:36,560
Speaker 5: Like, I don't think there's anything that's going to change

1440
01:05:36,600 --> 01:05:39,760
Speaker 5: my mind on Stop Go, no Contact.

1441
01:05:40,040 --> 01:05:42,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's an update. Many people think that the reason

1442
01:05:42,880 --> 01:05:45,080
Speaker 3: his sisters hate me is related to my breaking up

1443
01:05:45,080 --> 01:05:47,000
Speaker 3: with him three years ago. He had been talking to

1444
01:05:47,040 --> 01:05:50,320
Speaker 3: another woman online and continued to do so after I confronted.

1445
01:05:49,920 --> 01:05:50,440
Speaker 4: Him about it.

1446
01:05:50,640 --> 01:05:53,400
Speaker 3: We broke up for about three weeks, and he told

1447
01:05:53,400 --> 01:05:55,920
Speaker 3: his family what had happened. They may now see me

1448
01:05:56,000 --> 01:05:59,040
Speaker 3: as an intruder in their lives. We are both emotionally

1449
01:05:59,080 --> 01:06:01,240
Speaker 3: exhausted with the whole situation and are ready for something

1450
01:06:01,240 --> 01:06:03,960
Speaker 3: to change. I have recognized that the way I treated

1451
01:06:03,960 --> 01:06:07,280
Speaker 3: the situation with Sue was wrong and immature. I should

1452
01:06:07,280 --> 01:06:09,120
Speaker 3: not have engaged a fifteen year old over something so

1453
01:06:09,160 --> 01:06:11,360
Speaker 3: trivial as finding I had been deleted from Facebook. I

1454
01:06:11,400 --> 01:06:14,480
Speaker 3: spoke to my mother in law last night about why

1455
01:06:14,560 --> 01:06:17,120
Speaker 3: Sue said the things she did. She told me that

1456
01:06:17,160 --> 01:06:19,280
Speaker 3: my husband used to be very involved with Sue, and

1457
01:06:19,320 --> 01:06:21,520
Speaker 3: then he met me and dropped her. This is not

1458
01:06:21,560 --> 01:06:23,520
Speaker 3: what happened. My husband is a grown man, met me,

1459
01:06:23,640 --> 01:06:25,400
Speaker 3: married me, and moved to a new place. It was

1460
01:06:25,440 --> 01:06:28,120
Speaker 3: nothing against her or anyone else in the family. Before

1461
01:06:28,160 --> 01:06:30,439
Speaker 3: we left Alaska, we used to camp and fish with her,

1462
01:06:30,600 --> 01:06:32,520
Speaker 3: but she never talked to us and acted miserable. He

1463
01:06:32,520 --> 01:06:34,520
Speaker 3: also refused to speak to my husband during the weekend

1464
01:06:34,560 --> 01:06:37,160
Speaker 3: of our wedding. Sue made the comment that we never

1465
01:06:37,200 --> 01:06:39,120
Speaker 3: make an effort to talk to her. So my husband

1466
01:06:39,160 --> 01:06:41,360
Speaker 3: has decided to call Sue sometime over the next week.

1467
01:06:41,640 --> 01:06:43,360
Speaker 3: He feels that he needs to explain to her that

1468
01:06:43,400 --> 01:06:45,280
Speaker 3: he still loves her very much and his marrying me

1469
01:06:45,480 --> 01:06:48,200
Speaker 3: was not because he no longer loved her. He wants

1470
01:06:48,240 --> 01:06:50,240
Speaker 3: her to know that he still loves her, but does

1471
01:06:50,280 --> 01:06:51,920
Speaker 3: not know how to spend time with her because she

1472
01:06:51,960 --> 01:06:54,400
Speaker 3: will not talk to him. He's also going to explain

1473
01:06:54,520 --> 01:06:56,440
Speaker 3: that I am his wife now and she cannot speak

1474
01:06:56,480 --> 01:06:59,480
Speaker 3: to me like she has been. I will say, yes,

1475
01:07:00,080 --> 01:07:02,840
Speaker 3: you can listen to full episodes, but stories just like this.

1476
01:07:03,240 --> 01:07:06,320
Speaker 3: If you go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite

1477
01:07:06,360 --> 01:07:08,560
Speaker 3: podcast app, it's their jok Storytine.

1478
01:07:08,560 --> 01:07:13,680
Speaker 5: Now. I will say that sounds to me fully like

1479
01:07:14,040 --> 01:07:18,320
Speaker 5: when you came into her life. Sue was probably twelve maybe,

1480
01:07:19,000 --> 01:07:22,120
Speaker 5: and she probably if she's fifteen sixteen now that I

1481
01:07:22,160 --> 01:07:24,000
Speaker 5: assume they're dating for a little bit.

1482
01:07:23,880 --> 01:07:27,200
Speaker 3: I don't know. It's kind of it's hard because it says.

1483
01:07:27,320 --> 01:07:29,880
Speaker 5: Either way she came in her life. She's preteen. Teen

1484
01:07:31,280 --> 01:07:33,680
Speaker 5: husband did use to do things with her. She probably

1485
01:07:33,760 --> 01:07:38,600
Speaker 5: hit those teenage years. Typical teenagers stop talking as much

1486
01:07:38,720 --> 01:07:42,360
Speaker 5: you came around. She feels as though her brother's being

1487
01:07:42,400 --> 01:07:45,000
Speaker 5: taken away because he moves and everything. She's looking for

1488
01:07:45,040 --> 01:07:47,040
Speaker 5: a place to blame. She's gonna blame you. She's a

1489
01:07:47,080 --> 01:07:52,360
Speaker 5: typical teenager. That one may be salvagible if husband does

1490
01:07:52,400 --> 01:07:54,720
Speaker 5: actually like call her up and say, yamn, yay, let's

1491
01:07:54,720 --> 01:07:55,840
Speaker 5: actually like talk this out.

1492
01:07:56,160 --> 01:07:56,600
Speaker 4: I don't know.

1493
01:07:56,640 --> 01:07:59,800
Speaker 5: I'm so very torn on this. Yeah, because she's also

1494
01:08:00,320 --> 01:08:03,440
Speaker 5: being horrible. But if she actually genuinely is learning and

1495
01:08:03,800 --> 01:08:06,720
Speaker 5: any form of sorry is genuine from her and she

1496
01:08:06,760 --> 01:08:09,120
Speaker 5: stops listening to Wilma as much, like, I think that

1497
01:08:09,160 --> 01:08:11,400
Speaker 5: one could maybe be some sort of a relationship.

1498
01:08:11,440 --> 01:08:12,760
Speaker 3: I feel like this is one where it kind of

1499
01:08:12,800 --> 01:08:14,720
Speaker 3: now goes past the op and kind of is like

1500
01:08:14,880 --> 01:08:16,800
Speaker 3: up to the husband like, okay, well, like how much

1501
01:08:16,880 --> 01:08:18,839
Speaker 3: leave this relationship with your sibling?

1502
01:08:19,479 --> 01:08:21,759
Speaker 5: Yeah? So do you want to sealvage stuff with Sue?

1503
01:08:21,880 --> 01:08:22,920
Speaker 5: Are you? Like? Yeah?

1504
01:08:23,320 --> 01:08:25,559
Speaker 3: I guess we shall see. Because there's an update great

1505
01:08:25,760 --> 01:08:29,200
Speaker 3: regarding Wilma. We've decided to send her a card at Christmas.

1506
01:08:29,680 --> 01:08:31,920
Speaker 3: My husband still refuses to spend money on her, but

1507
01:08:31,960 --> 01:08:34,439
Speaker 3: I've convinced him to reopen the lines of communication in

1508
01:08:34,439 --> 01:08:36,479
Speaker 3: case she ever decides she wants to be a part

1509
01:08:36,479 --> 01:08:38,760
Speaker 3: of our family. My husband is still holding out hope

1510
01:08:38,760 --> 01:08:41,679
Speaker 3: for an apology from his mother. He was extremely hurt

1511
01:08:41,680 --> 01:08:44,000
Speaker 3: by her behavior at our wedding, regardless of her feelings

1512
01:08:44,040 --> 01:08:46,360
Speaker 3: about Wilma not being invited. She is the mother and

1513
01:08:46,400 --> 01:08:48,800
Speaker 3: it is her job to be the bigger person. I

1514
01:08:48,840 --> 01:08:50,840
Speaker 3: am sure the girls hate me for taking their brother away.

1515
01:08:51,000 --> 01:08:53,000
Speaker 3: I'm sure whatever was said about our breakup three years

1516
01:08:53,000 --> 01:08:55,519
Speaker 3: ago did not help the situation. I cannot do anything

1517
01:08:55,560 --> 01:08:57,320
Speaker 3: about those things, but I will not be feeding into

1518
01:08:57,360 --> 01:08:59,160
Speaker 3: any more drama regarding.

1519
01:08:58,840 --> 01:09:04,599
Speaker 5: Okay, yeah, OPI you go no contact. Husband can try

1520
01:09:04,600 --> 01:09:07,400
Speaker 5: to mend the relationship with Sue if he wants to.

1521
01:09:08,680 --> 01:09:09,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, I will say, like.

1522
01:09:10,280 --> 01:09:16,840
Speaker 8: I I hope, because Ope seems to be like, like,

1523
01:09:16,920 --> 01:09:19,840
Speaker 8: I think it is a very big person thing to

1524
01:09:20,000 --> 01:09:24,080
Speaker 8: send that card to Wilma, and I hope that she

1525
01:09:24,280 --> 01:09:26,040
Speaker 8: is rewarded.

1526
01:09:25,400 --> 01:09:27,880
Speaker 3: And not punished for that because I think I'm with

1527
01:09:27,960 --> 01:09:29,599
Speaker 3: you where it's like I don't know that I would

1528
01:09:29,640 --> 01:09:31,880
Speaker 3: have done that, like it seems like Wilma.

1529
01:09:31,720 --> 01:09:33,879
Speaker 5: Is like I think she ignored.

1530
01:09:34,200 --> 01:09:37,080
Speaker 3: That's kind of like where I'm but I hope that

1531
01:09:37,360 --> 01:09:39,960
Speaker 3: like and if you're I hope it doesn't come.

1532
01:09:39,960 --> 01:09:40,680
Speaker 4: Back to bite her.

1533
01:09:40,880 --> 01:09:45,320
Speaker 5: If you're ignored, except the fact that you're ignored, let's

1534
01:09:45,360 --> 01:09:48,240
Speaker 5: not reach out, let's not do anything else.

1535
01:09:49,280 --> 01:09:49,719
Speaker 4: Yeah,