WEBVTT - A Holocaust Survivor's Story

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<v Speaker 1>Pushkin. My mom looked at me and hugged me, and

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<v Speaker 1>she said, we don't know where to be going, We

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<v Speaker 1>don't know what's going to happen. Just remember, no one

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<v Speaker 1>can take away from you what you put here in

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<v Speaker 1>your own mind. And that's exactly what happened. That's doctor

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<v Speaker 1>Edith Eager recalling the advice her mother gave her when

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<v Speaker 1>she and her Jewish family were captured in Hungary and

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<v Speaker 1>put on a cattle car to the Auschwitz concentration camp.

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<v Speaker 1>Edith was just sixteen at the time. Today she's ninety

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<v Speaker 1>four years old. She's a psychologist who specializes in post

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<v Speaker 1>traumatic stress disorder and is the author of the book

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<v Speaker 1>The Choice, in which she describes how learning to control

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<v Speaker 1>her own mind helped her to survive the Holocaust. Edith

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<v Speaker 1>had been taught that lesson as a young child when

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<v Speaker 1>she was training to be a dancer, but she hadn't

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<v Speaker 1>understood its meaning at the time. You know, my mother

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<v Speaker 1>took me to a ballet school and my ballet master

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<v Speaker 1>told me one day that ecstasy comes from inside out.

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<v Speaker 1>And I had no idea what he was talking about.

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<v Speaker 1>But you know, in Auschwitz, it came to me when

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<v Speaker 1>nothing came from the outside. I still had my spirit

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<v Speaker 1>that no nuts she could take away. On today's episode,

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<v Speaker 1>we hear from doctor Edith Eager, ninety four year old

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<v Speaker 1>Holocaust survivor. I'm maya Shunker and this is a slight

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<v Speaker 1>change of plans, a show about who we are and

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<v Speaker 1>who we become in the face of a big change.

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<v Speaker 1>An estimated six million Jewish people were killed during the Holocaust.

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<v Speaker 1>More than half were murdered in concentration camps. The largest

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<v Speaker 1>and deadliest concentration camp was Auschwitz in Nazi occupied Poland.

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<v Speaker 1>More than a million Jewish people were killed there, many

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<v Speaker 1>of them sent directly to the gas chambers when they

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<v Speaker 1>arrived by train. Doctor Edith Eager is here today to

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<v Speaker 1>share her story of surviving Auschwitz. It was spring of

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<v Speaker 1>nineteen forty four when the Nazis came for Edith and

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<v Speaker 1>her family. Edith was sixteen and living with her parents

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<v Speaker 1>in Budapesh. Her oldest sister, Clara was off studying piano

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<v Speaker 1>in the city, but in the rest of her family,

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<v Speaker 1>her older sister Mada, and her mom and her dad

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<v Speaker 1>were home for state or dinner. After dinner, my father

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<v Speaker 1>got up and kissed us on our heads and we

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<v Speaker 1>went to sleep, and a couple hours later, big banging

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<v Speaker 1>on the door to get ready, to get ready, to quickly, quickly, quickly.

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<v Speaker 1>It was Nazi soldiers who were showing up. What happened

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<v Speaker 1>next when they came in The Hungarian Nazis were terrible, terrible,

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<v Speaker 1>so there was not a kind word or anything. You

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<v Speaker 1>become like someone who's done something bad. It didn't matter

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<v Speaker 1>what you said. It was no way out at that point.

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<v Speaker 1>It was too late. We were taken into a big

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<v Speaker 1>factory and from there to a train station to Oushwitz,

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<v Speaker 1>and we had to leave everything behind. I have a

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<v Speaker 1>picture of the dress that I wore, and was a

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<v Speaker 1>beautiful dress, and I wore it also a lot when

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<v Speaker 1>I was with my boyfriend. Wow. When you and your

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<v Speaker 1>parents and your sister Mata are put in a cattle

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<v Speaker 1>car and unbeknownst to you are heading to Auschwitz, your

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<v Speaker 1>mom tells you something on that ride that really sticks

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<v Speaker 1>with you. Do you mind sharing what she told you?

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<v Speaker 1>My mom looked at me and hugged me, and she said,

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<v Speaker 1>we don't know where be going, we don't know what's

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<v Speaker 1>going to happen. Just remember, no one can take away

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<v Speaker 1>from you what you put here in your own mind,

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<v Speaker 1>and that's exactly what happened. Everything was taken away from me.

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<v Speaker 1>When you arrive at Auschwitz, you are separated into two lines, right,

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<v Speaker 1>so everyone between ages fourteen and forty are put in

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<v Speaker 1>one line and everyone else is put into another. And

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<v Speaker 1>an officer named doctor Joseph Mangela, the infamous Nazi officer

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<v Speaker 1>known as the Angel of Death, ask you whether your

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<v Speaker 1>mom is in fact your mom or whether she's your sister,

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<v Speaker 1>and instinctively you answer with the truth, which is that

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<v Speaker 1>she is your mom. What happens next? What happens after

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<v Speaker 1>you tell him that she's your mom? He pointed my

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<v Speaker 1>mother to go that way, and my sister ride this way,

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<v Speaker 1>and I began to walk behind my mother. He came

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<v Speaker 1>and grabbed me. Never before, I never forget those eyes,

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<v Speaker 1>and he said, you're gonna see your mother very soon.

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<v Speaker 1>She's just gonna take a shower. M Later on, you

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<v Speaker 1>engage with a couple a fellow prisoner who supervises other prisoners,

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<v Speaker 1>and you ask her when will I see my mother again?

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<v Speaker 1>I was told I would see her soon, and that's

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<v Speaker 1>when she she delivers this devastating news to you. I said, well,

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<v Speaker 1>I want to know, Ben, will I meet my mother?

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<v Speaker 1>And she pointed the chimney and she said, she's burning dead.

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<v Speaker 1>She said, you better talk about her in past tense.

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<v Speaker 1>She used that kind of a language. Everybody over forty,

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<v Speaker 1>everybody under fourteen, they're never given a chance, maybe taken

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<v Speaker 1>to the chamber and mass. Sister and Magda hugged me

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<v Speaker 1>and said, despit it never dies. That's obviously such a

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<v Speaker 1>powerful thing to tell you in a moment of acute

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<v Speaker 1>shock and trauma and grief. And then to pile on

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<v Speaker 1>top of all of that, you have to see your

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<v Speaker 1>parents killer again. That night, you see Joseph Mangela again.

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<v Speaker 1>That night he asks you to dance for him as

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<v Speaker 1>a form of entertainment in the barracks, and you have

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<v Speaker 1>this realization for the first time that while your physical

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<v Speaker 1>freedom has been entirely stripped from you, you still have

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<v Speaker 1>control over some of the mental choices that you make.

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<v Speaker 1>That you can reframe this dance in a way that

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<v Speaker 1>nourishes you and helps bring you some kind of sustenance

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<v Speaker 1>in that moment. Can you share more about how you

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<v Speaker 1>reframed that dance, what you visualized. I closed my eyes

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<v Speaker 1>and I imagined that the music was Tchaikovsky, and I

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<v Speaker 1>was dancing the Rome and Juliet at these That's how

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's very important to think about you're thinking,

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<v Speaker 1>because whatever you think, you create. The feeling comes from

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<v Speaker 1>your thoughts. There's there's this moment of generosity that you

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<v Speaker 1>display where Mangela offers you bread after your dance and

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<v Speaker 1>you end up sharing it with the girls that are

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<v Speaker 1>around you, right you know. I looked at there and

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<v Speaker 1>and I wanted to garbble it up. And then I

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<v Speaker 1>looked up and I said to myself, no way, and

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<v Speaker 1>I shared the bread. It was one foot one head,

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<v Speaker 1>one foot one head. That's how we slept. There were

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<v Speaker 1>very little spaces between us, so we really had to cooperate,

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<v Speaker 1>not complete. And when I danced and I got that

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<v Speaker 1>piece of bread, it was the best thing that I

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<v Speaker 1>remember that I did with a little piece of bread

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<v Speaker 1>that six of us were enjoying. There's this really beautiful

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<v Speaker 1>moment you share at Magda where that exceptional quality comes

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<v Speaker 1>out and you Edith where where again you realize that

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<v Speaker 1>you have control over your mind. And so your sister,

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<v Speaker 1>who had for so long prided herself on being the

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<v Speaker 1>beauty in your family comes to you. She has just

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<v Speaker 1>had her head shaven by the Nazis, and she asked

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<v Speaker 1>you how she looks. I realized then as you realize

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<v Speaker 1>now too. I'm sure that I could point out what

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<v Speaker 1>she lost or pay attention to what she still had left.

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<v Speaker 1>So instead of telling her how she lived in her nakedness,

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<v Speaker 1>I said, Magda, you have beautiful eyes, and I didn't

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<v Speaker 1>see it when you had your hair all over her place,

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<v Speaker 1>as she said, thank you. Wow, that is so moving.

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<v Speaker 1>You gotta change your thinking and look at the problem

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<v Speaker 1>as a challenge and look at the crisis as a transition.

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's very important to think a boy you're thinking.

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<v Speaker 1>Towards the end of the war, the Nazis forced the

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<v Speaker 1>prisoners at your camp to relocate to another camp in

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<v Speaker 1>what became known as the Death March from Auschwitz, and

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<v Speaker 1>you had to walk over thirty four miles. So many

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<v Speaker 1>people died from weakness and illness along the way, and

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<v Speaker 1>officers were known to shoot at anybody who lagged behind,

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<v Speaker 1>anyone who fall behind, And at one point edith you

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<v Speaker 1>found yourself unable to keep walking due to extreme exhaustion.

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<v Speaker 1>You saw the kindness you had paid to others paid

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<v Speaker 1>back to you during this experience. Right you had shared

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<v Speaker 1>the small piece of bread that you were given with

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<v Speaker 1>the other girls, and in turn, when you were walking

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<v Speaker 1>what you believe would be your last steps, they used

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<v Speaker 1>their arms to create this chair for you and help

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<v Speaker 1>you continue forward, help you survive. Thank god I did,

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<v Speaker 1>because when I was in a dead march, when you stopped,

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<v Speaker 1>you were shot, and when a ghost so saw me

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<v Speaker 1>just I was so tired. And this is you know,

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<v Speaker 1>when when I thought I'm really going to die, I

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<v Speaker 1>didn't think I can walk anymore, and they came and

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<v Speaker 1>they carried me. Imagine how the worst condition brings out

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<v Speaker 1>the bestiness. I wouldn't have made it if I would

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<v Speaker 1>have garbled up that bread that giving is getting. We'll

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<v Speaker 1>be back in a moment with a slight change of plans.

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<v Speaker 1>Doctor Edith Eager was just sixteen years old when she

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<v Speaker 1>was put on a train to Auschwitz. She spent a

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<v Speaker 1>total of eight months in Nazi concentration camps. After enduring

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<v Speaker 1>what is known as the death March from Auschwitz to Austria,

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<v Speaker 1>Edith was on the brink of death herself, but then

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<v Speaker 1>on May fourth, nineteen forty five troops from the US

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<v Speaker 1>Army's seventy first Infantry came in and liberated the people

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<v Speaker 1>at the camp. An American soldier found Edith lying among

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<v Speaker 1>the dead. He noticed her hand moving slightly. She was

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<v Speaker 1>in terrible condition. She had typhoid, fever, pneumonia, and a

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<v Speaker 1>broken back. The soldier called for medical help and brought

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<v Speaker 1>Edith to safety. For the entire of her time in

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<v Speaker 1>the concentration camps, Edith had been holding out some small

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<v Speaker 1>hope that her parents and boyfriend might still be alive,

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<v Speaker 1>but after she was rescued, she learned that the Nazis

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<v Speaker 1>had murdered all of them. One thing I so appreciate

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<v Speaker 1>about how you share your story, Edith, is that you

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<v Speaker 1>refuse to make a clean delineation between imprisonment and liberation.

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<v Speaker 1>I hope you don't mind my quoting you. You said

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<v Speaker 1>I thought my freedom would begin the moment the war

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<v Speaker 1>ended and the death camps were liberated. I didn't know

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<v Speaker 1>that the worst prison was not the one the Nazis

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<v Speaker 1>put me in, but the one I built for myself

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<v Speaker 1>in the decades after the war, when I chose to

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<v Speaker 1>stay a hostage of the past, stuck in a mental

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<v Speaker 1>prison of secrets, survivor's guilt, and self limiting beliefs. You

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<v Speaker 1>mentioned that you didn't feel suicidal when you were in

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<v Speaker 1>the concentration camp, but it was upon release that that's

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<v Speaker 1>when you encountered this profound depression. What was the difference?

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<v Speaker 1>Because my parents didn't come home while I was in

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<v Speaker 1>a camp. I could imagine the beautiful meeting with my

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<v Speaker 1>parents with my boyfriend. None of that came true, and

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<v Speaker 1>I had nothing to live for, no meaning, no perfect nothing,

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<v Speaker 1>And I talked about that existential vacuum that you don't

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<v Speaker 1>have anything to get up for. So we agree, well,

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<v Speaker 1>we're not what happened, But what didn't happen? When my

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<v Speaker 1>granddaughter wanted to go to her dance at the school

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<v Speaker 1>and asked me to buy a pretty dress. I did

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<v Speaker 1>a beautiful dress, and I came home and out of

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<v Speaker 1>the blue, I was crying. I didn't get it was

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<v Speaker 1>the matter with me? What am I crying about? I

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<v Speaker 1>just bought Lindsey a dress so she can go to

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<v Speaker 1>her dance. And then I realized that I didn't cry

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<v Speaker 1>because of that. I cried because I never went to

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<v Speaker 1>a dance. And that's what grief is. All about not

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<v Speaker 1>what happened, but what did happen. I will never forget Auschwitz.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't overcome it. I don't know that word at all,

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<v Speaker 1>but I call it my cherished wound. And I have

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<v Speaker 1>a special place in my heart, specially for my boyfriend

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<v Speaker 1>who was killed a day before liberation. So not to

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<v Speaker 1>run away from the past, and not to run away

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<v Speaker 1>from crying, because then you cry, you get rid of

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<v Speaker 1>something that vehicle fully say, oh I had a good

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<v Speaker 1>cry and I feel better. Yeah. One thing that I

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<v Speaker 1>think will be so important for people to hear from

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<v Speaker 1>you is in your book you mentioned one thing you

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<v Speaker 1>can't change is the past, and there has to be

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<v Speaker 1>an acceptance around that, and you talk about how you

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<v Speaker 1>were plagued by guilt for so many years around that

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<v Speaker 1>answer you gave to Joseph mangela right, why didn't I

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<v Speaker 1>tell him that my mom was my sister that plagued

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<v Speaker 1>you for so long, even though Edith you were a child.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what, how are you supposed to know what

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<v Speaker 1>the outcome was going to be? But it is not

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<v Speaker 1>uncommon for people to wrongly blame themselves for what happens,

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<v Speaker 1>and so I would love to hear about how you

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<v Speaker 1>found accepted in that and how you came to how

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<v Speaker 1>you found peace in what happened. I think there is

0:18:17.356 --> 0:18:24.396
<v Speaker 1>one very short sentence that if I knew then, I

0:18:24.516 --> 0:18:28.716
<v Speaker 1>would have done things differently. If you knew then what

0:18:28.876 --> 0:18:32.316
<v Speaker 1>you know now, it would have been a very different picture.

0:18:33.236 --> 0:18:36.516
<v Speaker 1>My parents had tickets to go to America and they

0:18:36.556 --> 0:18:40.356
<v Speaker 1>never used it, and that's why I think they would

0:18:40.356 --> 0:18:47.316
<v Speaker 1>help everybody. Just one sentence and forgive yourself. So I

0:18:47.516 --> 0:18:50.916
<v Speaker 1>like to live in a present. The question is not

0:18:51.116 --> 0:18:57.996
<v Speaker 1>why me? The question is what now? Because the past

0:18:58.236 --> 0:19:04.836
<v Speaker 1>is gone and the future is not yet. Wow. You

0:19:04.916 --> 0:19:08.996
<v Speaker 1>ended up moving to the US and trained to become

0:19:09.316 --> 0:19:15.796
<v Speaker 1>a psychotherapist, doctor Edith. Your life's work has been to

0:19:15.956 --> 0:19:21.236
<v Speaker 1>help people who have had trauma quote escape the concentration

0:19:21.316 --> 0:19:24.036
<v Speaker 1>camp of their own minds. That's how you've talked about

0:19:24.076 --> 0:19:27.276
<v Speaker 1>your work. And what's interesting is that you've said it

0:19:27.316 --> 0:19:31.236
<v Speaker 1>actually took you years to finally free yourself. Right, You

0:19:31.276 --> 0:19:34.796
<v Speaker 1>were freeing all of these people through your clinical practice,

0:19:35.476 --> 0:19:39.356
<v Speaker 1>but to do that for yourself took more time and

0:19:39.436 --> 0:19:45.036
<v Speaker 1>more work. What was that process? Like? I was talking

0:19:45.076 --> 0:19:50.116
<v Speaker 1>to paraplegics and one of them was why me? And

0:19:52.236 --> 0:19:59.916
<v Speaker 1>terribly angry and blaming and blaming God's country. And conversely,

0:20:00.356 --> 0:20:04.116
<v Speaker 1>I say that that there was another guy with the

0:20:04.196 --> 0:20:13.276
<v Speaker 1>same symptomatology, same diagnosis, same prognosis, and told me, hey, hey, doc,

0:20:14.436 --> 0:20:18.036
<v Speaker 1>I'm in a wheelchair and I can see my children's

0:20:18.076 --> 0:20:21.636
<v Speaker 1>eyes much closer. And I was given a second chance

0:20:21.676 --> 0:20:30.556
<v Speaker 1>and life. And I feel lie and impastor and I'm

0:20:30.556 --> 0:20:34.396
<v Speaker 1>wearing a white coat and it says doctor Eager, Department

0:20:34.476 --> 0:20:39.076
<v Speaker 1>of Psychiatry. I went to school, and I went to school,

0:20:39.076 --> 0:20:43.996
<v Speaker 1>and I went to school, and that's when I decided

0:20:44.196 --> 0:20:49.876
<v Speaker 1>I must go back to our streets. I revisited that place,

0:20:50.996 --> 0:20:56.276
<v Speaker 1>and I started to cry buckets that I'm here looking

0:20:56.316 --> 0:21:00.356
<v Speaker 1>at it rather than being in the ditch where I

0:21:00.396 --> 0:21:04.876
<v Speaker 1>would have been in no time at all. I think

0:21:04.916 --> 0:21:10.356
<v Speaker 1>it's very important to make peace the past, not to

0:21:10.476 --> 0:21:14.396
<v Speaker 1>run from it or fight it, and not to try

0:21:14.436 --> 0:21:20.036
<v Speaker 1>to forget it, because that's when I learned that life

0:21:20.076 --> 0:21:26.076
<v Speaker 1>is from inside out. It's up to me what I

0:21:26.196 --> 0:21:33.356
<v Speaker 1>do with the external circumstance. So it's very important not

0:21:33.476 --> 0:21:36.276
<v Speaker 1>to run away from the past the way I did.

0:21:36.956 --> 0:21:40.516
<v Speaker 1>I didn't tell anyone I was in Auschwitz close to

0:21:40.556 --> 0:21:43.916
<v Speaker 1>twenty years If you ask me who I was, I

0:21:43.916 --> 0:21:46.196
<v Speaker 1>would say, who do you want me to be? You'll

0:21:46.276 --> 0:21:54.596
<v Speaker 1>become a very, very talented schizophrenic. It must have been

0:21:54.676 --> 0:21:59.276
<v Speaker 1>so painful for you to return to the place where

0:21:59.276 --> 0:22:02.956
<v Speaker 1>you experience the most profound trauma a human can experience

0:22:02.996 --> 0:22:06.796
<v Speaker 1>in their life. When I went back to our Shwitz

0:22:08.516 --> 0:22:14.796
<v Speaker 1>for a moment, I tooed I so Anazi, it was

0:22:14.836 --> 0:22:20.276
<v Speaker 1>a person in uniform. But when I realized that I

0:22:20.356 --> 0:22:26.636
<v Speaker 1>have an passport in my pocket and that time free,

0:22:29.796 --> 0:22:37.836
<v Speaker 1>and I was so glad that I was able to

0:22:37.876 --> 0:22:41.756
<v Speaker 1>go back to Auschwitz and go back to the lions

0:22:41.876 --> 0:22:46.236
<v Speaker 1>then and look at that lion and tell them that

0:22:46.356 --> 0:22:51.636
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna take my freedom, and I'm gonna stop blaming myself.

0:22:51.916 --> 0:22:56.676
<v Speaker 1>And I've stopped running around with survivors. Geared that even

0:22:56.716 --> 0:23:00.716
<v Speaker 1>when I was graduating kum Loud there, I didn't show

0:23:00.796 --> 0:23:04.556
<v Speaker 1>up for my graduation because I had so much survivor's

0:23:04.676 --> 0:23:10.676
<v Speaker 1>guard that I didn't deserve it because they were And

0:23:10.756 --> 0:23:14.316
<v Speaker 1>that's a whole new interview you and I can talk on,

0:23:15.476 --> 0:23:24.796
<v Speaker 1>is how you deny your successes and that gave yourself permission,

0:23:26.596 --> 0:23:31.756
<v Speaker 1>give yourself permission to go through the age. There is

0:23:31.796 --> 0:23:45.996
<v Speaker 1>no forgiveness without going true that age. And it's hard

0:23:46.036 --> 0:23:48.236
<v Speaker 1>for me to articulate this, I guess, so I'll try.

0:23:48.236 --> 0:23:53.836
<v Speaker 1>I'll just try my best. But as a sixteen year old,

0:23:55.676 --> 0:24:03.476
<v Speaker 1>you somehow had the cognitive wherewithal to identify moments, however small,

0:24:03.516 --> 0:24:08.276
<v Speaker 1>in your experience, in outfits where you could control your

0:24:08.316 --> 0:24:12.596
<v Speaker 1>own mind, where you took power away from the Nazis

0:24:13.516 --> 0:24:18.196
<v Speaker 1>and gave that power to yourself. And I wonder, how

0:24:18.796 --> 0:24:22.516
<v Speaker 1>did that just come naturally to you? Did you feel

0:24:23.716 --> 0:24:27.716
<v Speaker 1>it was an intentional act on your part? And I

0:24:27.756 --> 0:24:32.836
<v Speaker 1>asked this, Edith, because your mind is so remarkable and

0:24:33.596 --> 0:24:36.396
<v Speaker 1>unusual in nature, and I'm trying to figure out if

0:24:36.436 --> 0:24:40.436
<v Speaker 1>we can even relate to you. I've read your work,

0:24:40.516 --> 0:24:43.596
<v Speaker 1>and I know you mentioned that your sister Magda doesn't

0:24:43.636 --> 0:24:47.516
<v Speaker 1>share the same instincts as you. Right, she would fantasize,

0:24:47.756 --> 0:24:51.916
<v Speaker 1>I think, so understandably about getting revenge on the Nazis

0:24:51.956 --> 0:24:57.836
<v Speaker 1>and murdering the Nazis. And I think probably more people

0:24:57.876 --> 0:25:00.436
<v Speaker 1>can relate to her point of view than yours, because

0:25:00.476 --> 0:25:03.156
<v Speaker 1>yours is so exceptional. And I want to know for

0:25:03.276 --> 0:25:08.596
<v Speaker 1>those listening who want to cultivate a doctor Edith mindset

0:25:08.876 --> 0:25:14.836
<v Speaker 1>is our way for us to cultivate it. I decided

0:25:15.676 --> 0:25:21.876
<v Speaker 1>that they are the prisoners, not me. So I turned

0:25:21.916 --> 0:25:28.836
<v Speaker 1>hatred it to pity that they be bearing at uniform

0:25:28.876 --> 0:25:33.876
<v Speaker 1>and they murdering children, and so does hate return to

0:25:34.036 --> 0:25:42.596
<v Speaker 1>be pity. I ended up praying for them in my

0:25:42.676 --> 0:25:51.236
<v Speaker 1>own way, um that that that they are really the

0:25:51.396 --> 0:25:56.916
<v Speaker 1>true prisoners, not me. Forgiveness is a gift that I

0:25:56.956 --> 0:26:01.596
<v Speaker 1>give myself that I don't carry. Then arswer with me

0:26:01.876 --> 0:26:05.396
<v Speaker 1>that I don't carry the hatred me. That is really

0:26:05.396 --> 0:26:08.916
<v Speaker 1>not going to empower me. It's going to deplete me.

0:26:10.036 --> 0:26:14.196
<v Speaker 1>And I and I don't want to give another inch.

0:26:15.356 --> 0:26:19.596
<v Speaker 1>And I want to live a full life. I want

0:26:19.636 --> 0:26:23.076
<v Speaker 1>to have love and faith and I and I want

0:26:23.236 --> 0:26:30.716
<v Speaker 1>to have passion for life. I'm wondering, how would you

0:26:30.996 --> 0:26:37.756
<v Speaker 1>capture the biggest way in which you changed through this experience,

0:26:39.676 --> 0:26:44.236
<v Speaker 1>ah All. I can tell you that I live in

0:26:44.276 --> 0:26:55.316
<v Speaker 1>a present, and I stay away from why questions because

0:26:55.516 --> 0:27:00.436
<v Speaker 1>why it requires that, because and that requires to really

0:27:00.556 --> 0:27:06.396
<v Speaker 1>know all the reasons why you are the way you are.

0:27:07.996 --> 0:27:21.996
<v Speaker 1>So I live today, yesterday, he's gone. Tomorrow is not

0:27:22.196 --> 0:27:28.236
<v Speaker 1>yet as I told you, and I am in the

0:27:28.276 --> 0:27:37.116
<v Speaker 1>process of discovery, not recovery, but discovery. The discovery apparts

0:27:37.156 --> 0:27:41.996
<v Speaker 1>in me that doesn't hold on to the past, that

0:27:41.996 --> 0:27:50.436
<v Speaker 1>does not ever falls into the victim's mentality. I was victimized.

0:27:50.556 --> 0:27:58.236
<v Speaker 1>It's not my it's not my personality, it's not who

0:27:58.396 --> 0:28:04.796
<v Speaker 1>I am. And I think that's why I'm so happy

0:28:04.916 --> 0:28:08.756
<v Speaker 1>that my book is gonna be in my grand great

0:28:08.836 --> 0:28:13.956
<v Speaker 1>grand children's living room. I have seven of those, and

0:28:14.036 --> 0:28:17.836
<v Speaker 1>I think that I can be a good roma to

0:28:17.956 --> 0:28:22.796
<v Speaker 1>everyone to write that book. Edith, your book is going

0:28:22.876 --> 0:28:27.316
<v Speaker 1>to be in my great grandchildren's living room. It's going

0:28:27.396 --> 0:28:29.516
<v Speaker 1>to be in all of our living rooms. It is

0:28:30.276 --> 0:28:38.356
<v Speaker 1>an unbelievable work of art and humanity and science. And wow,

0:28:40.036 --> 0:28:43.756
<v Speaker 1>a lot of tears every page, a lot of tears.

0:28:44.156 --> 0:28:47.756
<v Speaker 1>And I think crying is very good as long as

0:28:47.836 --> 0:28:52.836
<v Speaker 1>it doesn't take you away from the present, because that's

0:28:52.876 --> 0:29:05.956
<v Speaker 1>the only thing you can change. Thanks so much for listening.

0:29:06.596 --> 0:29:08.836
<v Speaker 1>Join me next week when I talk to doctor Eelat

0:29:08.876 --> 0:29:12.196
<v Speaker 1>fish Bach, a professor of psychology an expert in the

0:29:12.276 --> 0:29:15.276
<v Speaker 1>science of motivation. She'll teach us how to set smarter

0:29:15.396 --> 0:29:18.796
<v Speaker 1>goals for ourselves and give us science based strategies to

0:29:18.836 --> 0:29:30.476
<v Speaker 1>help us reach them. A slight change of plans is

0:29:30.516 --> 0:29:34.036
<v Speaker 1>created written an executive produce by me Maya Schunker. The

0:29:34.196 --> 0:29:37.996
<v Speaker 1>Slight Change Family includes Tyler Green our senior producer, Emily

0:29:38.116 --> 0:29:41.996
<v Speaker 1>Rosteck our producer and fact checker, Jen Guera, our senior editor,

0:29:42.356 --> 0:29:46.516
<v Speaker 1>Ben Holiday our sound engineer, and Neil Lavelle, our executive producer.

0:29:47.196 --> 0:29:50.036
<v Speaker 1>Louis Skara wrote our theme song, and Ginger Smith helped

0:29:50.076 --> 0:29:52.996
<v Speaker 1>arrange the vocals. A Slight Change of Plans is a

0:29:52.996 --> 0:29:56.276
<v Speaker 1>production of Pushkin Industries. So big thanks to everyone there,

0:29:56.716 --> 0:30:01.956
<v Speaker 1>including Nicolemrano, Maggie Taylor, Eric Sandler, Heather Fame and Carly Niggliori,

0:30:02.556 --> 0:30:05.676
<v Speaker 1>and of course a very special thanks to Jimmy Lee.

0:30:06.196 --> 0:30:08.636
<v Speaker 1>You can follow a Slight Change of Plans on Instagram

0:30:08.676 --> 0:30:30.396
<v Speaker 1>at your Maya Sugar. I hope you'll do that someday

0:30:32.036 --> 0:30:36.836
<v Speaker 1>that we can exchange philosophies and do a semin up together.

0:30:37.236 --> 0:30:39.236
<v Speaker 1>Oh that would be a dream for me and it

0:30:39.396 --> 0:30:42.196
<v Speaker 1>was such an honor. I look forward to staying in touch.

0:30:42.916 --> 0:30:47.716
<v Speaker 1>Me too, me too, me too, Please do that definitely.

0:30:48.036 --> 0:30:50.396
<v Speaker 1>I love you, I love you too, Eadie