1 00:00:00,360 --> 00:00:03,640 Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if 2 00:00:03,680 --> 00:00:06,920 Speaker 1: you need advice and relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, 3 00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:10,320 Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEFM dot com 4 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:13,640 Speaker 1: by clicking submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your 5 00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:16,119 Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're going to 6 00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:18,520 Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now, and you never know, 7 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:20,480 Speaker 1: it could be yours. 8 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:22,960 Speaker 2: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on type. 9 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:26,079 Speaker 2: We got it for you here it is Strawberry Letter. 10 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:31,200 Speaker 1: Thank you, nephew Tommy subject, my friend, my husband, and 11 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:34,320 Speaker 1: my mother. Dear Stephen Shirley. I wrote in about my 12 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:37,520 Speaker 1: husband helping out my best friend after her husband died. 13 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:41,640 Speaker 1: My mother visited us from Nigeria and said, and she 14 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:44,520 Speaker 1: told me that I was giving my husband permission to cheat, 15 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:47,479 Speaker 1: and I didn't want to believe her. I got so 16 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:51,080 Speaker 1: offended by what she said because I trusted my husband. 17 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:54,960 Speaker 1: My mom wasn't having it, and she was so persistent 18 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:57,200 Speaker 1: that she told me to pass by my friend's house 19 00:00:57,280 --> 00:01:00,760 Speaker 1: after we picked my son up from preschool. Husband's truck 20 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:03,360 Speaker 1: was on the side of my friend's house, not in 21 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:06,480 Speaker 1: her driveway, but on the side of her house a 22 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:09,280 Speaker 1: little ways up from her house. She told me to 23 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:12,679 Speaker 1: park the car and call my husband. He didn't adder 24 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:14,840 Speaker 1: the phone, so my mom was trying to get me 25 00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:17,640 Speaker 1: to go to my friend's door. I refused to go 26 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:20,440 Speaker 1: to her door, and I didn't call her because my 27 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:23,800 Speaker 1: mom was too fired up. My husband came home an 28 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:27,760 Speaker 1: hour later and I told him I called him. He 29 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:31,000 Speaker 1: said his phone died. He said he was at my 30 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:35,319 Speaker 1: friend's house getting a wasp nest off her patio. My 31 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:37,880 Speaker 1: mother raised up and told him that we drove by, 32 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:41,240 Speaker 1: saw his truck and called him and he ignored us. 33 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:44,399 Speaker 1: He said it was because he was getting the wasp nest. 34 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:49,280 Speaker 1: Then he showed us that his phone was dead. Mom 35 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,760 Speaker 1: called him a liar, and I wanted her to back 36 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:54,560 Speaker 1: down and get out of our business. He yelled at 37 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:57,560 Speaker 1: me and said that my mom is all in my 38 00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:01,040 Speaker 1: head and he hasn't done anything. He swore that he 39 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:04,639 Speaker 1: would never help my friend again. That night, my husband 40 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:07,760 Speaker 1: said he wants my mother to go home immediately. Should 41 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:12,120 Speaker 1: I trust him or listen to my mom? Well, first 42 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:15,640 Speaker 1: of all, we got it. Thank you for the follow 43 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:19,360 Speaker 1: up letter. Thank you Steve, Thank you for this follow 44 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:21,720 Speaker 1: up letter. We appreciate you. You writing us back and 45 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:23,880 Speaker 1: letting us know what's going on. And I have to 46 00:02:23,919 --> 00:02:27,320 Speaker 1: ask you, what does your gut say? Because you are 47 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:30,040 Speaker 1: feeling something right now, that's why you wrote us again 48 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:32,440 Speaker 1: with this follow up letter. Things a little off for 49 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,919 Speaker 1: you. Your mom has put that in your head, like your 50 00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:37,400 Speaker 1: husband said, and so much so that you drove by 51 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:41,560 Speaker 1: your friend's house and saw your husband's truck parked suspiciously 52 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:44,440 Speaker 1: on the side of the house, not in the driveway 53 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:47,959 Speaker 1: like you said. But you didn't follow through. You didn't 54 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:51,000 Speaker 1: go and knock on the door and see for yourself 55 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:53,440 Speaker 1: what was going on. But you did call your husband's 56 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:58,639 Speaker 1: phone and he didn't answer. Uh oh. So now you're 57 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:01,720 Speaker 1: confused because you want to continue to trust your husband 58 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:04,280 Speaker 1: and you don't want to believe the worst about your friend, 59 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:06,680 Speaker 1: and you definitely don't want to agree with your mom 60 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:09,240 Speaker 1: that something's going on. But it's not looking good for 61 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:11,639 Speaker 1: your husband right now. It's just not He said he 62 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:13,880 Speaker 1: would never help your friend again. I think that's a 63 00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:17,960 Speaker 1: great idea. She should get someone else to do her work. True, 64 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:20,960 Speaker 1: your mom should not be in your business. She should 65 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,440 Speaker 1: not be in your business. But in her defense, if 66 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:26,359 Speaker 1: her suspicions ring true. She's not going to stand by 67 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,040 Speaker 1: and watch her daughter get hurt. No mother would do that. 68 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:32,080 Speaker 1: Your husband wants your mother to go home. That could 69 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:35,960 Speaker 1: only be for two reasons. Either she's wrong for budding 70 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:39,280 Speaker 1: in your business, or she's right about him and your friend. 71 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:46,160 Speaker 3: That's it, Steve, I totally one hundred percent disagree with Shirley. 72 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:51,480 Speaker 2: You know, y'all. First of all, this lady's writing a 73 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:53,520 Speaker 2: follow up letter. Follow up. 74 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:57,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, so she had written in and told us that 75 00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:00,600 Speaker 3: her mother was visiting from Nigeria, and she has suspicions 76 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:04,720 Speaker 3: about her husband, but the wife didn't. The wife has 77 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:10,200 Speaker 3: had no suspicions of her nothing. So now the suspicion 78 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:16,400 Speaker 3: is because she asked her husband to help her friend 79 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:20,760 Speaker 3: because her husband had passed and she needs some help. 80 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,640 Speaker 3: That's the reason that the man is over there. But 81 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:29,120 Speaker 3: now Shirley said, trust your intuition. What is your intuition 82 00:04:29,279 --> 00:04:32,719 Speaker 3: telling you? Her intuition, her gud ain't telling her nothing. 83 00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:37,440 Speaker 3: It's her damn mama. Her intuition didn't have no suspicion. 84 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:42,920 Speaker 3: This is her old ass mama who ain't got no man. 85 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:46,400 Speaker 3: I don't know how to keep a man. Now I 86 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:49,279 Speaker 3: want to tell her daughter how to get rid of 87 00:04:49,279 --> 00:04:53,159 Speaker 3: the one she got. This letter is sickening to me, 88 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:59,920 Speaker 3: and Shirley's response, this response is not the proper risk 89 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:04,479 Speaker 3: re spons You know I wrote in about my husband 90 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:07,000 Speaker 3: helping out my best friend after her husband died. 91 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,120 Speaker 2: You asked him to do that. 92 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:12,240 Speaker 3: My mother visited from Nigeria and she told me I 93 00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:14,159 Speaker 3: was giving my husband permission to cheat. 94 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:17,520 Speaker 2: And I didn't want to believe her. And I was 95 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:21,839 Speaker 2: offended by what she said because I trusted. 96 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:25,800 Speaker 3: My husband, which means her gut wasn't telling her anything. 97 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:31,680 Speaker 3: Her MoMA, her damn mom, and she ain't still ain't 98 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:34,279 Speaker 3: felt nothing. My mom wasn't having it, and she was 99 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:36,479 Speaker 3: so persisent. She told me to pass by my friend's 100 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:39,840 Speaker 3: house after we picked up my son from preschool. My 101 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,520 Speaker 3: husband's truck was on the side of my friend's house, 102 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:46,599 Speaker 3: not in her driveway, but on the side of her house, 103 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,760 Speaker 3: a little ways up from her house. What hell he 104 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:52,680 Speaker 3: parked his truck at What is that a description of? 105 00:05:53,279 --> 00:05:56,440 Speaker 3: On the side of her house, not in the driveway, 106 00:05:56,640 --> 00:06:01,760 Speaker 3: but up from her house. What you see, we're picking 107 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:04,680 Speaker 3: the straws now. She told me to park the car 108 00:06:04,839 --> 00:06:08,200 Speaker 3: and call my husband he didn't answer the phone. So 109 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:09,719 Speaker 3: my mom was trying to get me to go to 110 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:13,880 Speaker 3: my friend's door. I refuse, I I and I didn't 111 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:16,520 Speaker 3: call her to go to her door. And I didn't 112 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:19,039 Speaker 3: call her because my mom was too fired up. My 113 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:21,919 Speaker 3: husband came home an hour later. I told him I 114 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:26,000 Speaker 3: called him, and he said his phone died. You hear 115 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:31,000 Speaker 3: that his phone died, And then he said he volunteered 116 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:33,839 Speaker 3: disinformation right quick. He said he was at my friend's 117 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:35,960 Speaker 3: house getting to wash nest off her patio. 118 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:37,880 Speaker 2: She didn't ask him what he was doing. 119 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:41,840 Speaker 1: All right, Hang on, Steve, We'll have part two of 120 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:44,840 Speaker 1: your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the 121 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:48,280 Speaker 1: hour of today's Strawberry letter, subject my friend, my husband, 122 00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:51,560 Speaker 1: and my mother. We'll get back into it right after this. 123 00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:56,000 Speaker 1: You're listening Morning show. All right, Come on, Steve, let's 124 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:59,800 Speaker 1: recap today's Strawberry letter, my friend, my husband and my mother. 125 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:02,039 Speaker 2: This is a follow up letter. 126 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,240 Speaker 3: A lady wrote us and told her mother was visiting 127 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:07,680 Speaker 3: from Nigeria and she had suspicions about her husband cheating 128 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,800 Speaker 3: because her she told her daughter, you gave him permission 129 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:14,080 Speaker 3: to cheat by sending him over to her best friend's 130 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:17,680 Speaker 3: house to help her fix some things cause her husband 131 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:22,360 Speaker 3: had passed. Why is your messy ass, mama in this, 132 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:27,040 Speaker 3: Shirley said, what does your gut tell you? Well, she 133 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:30,760 Speaker 3: said in the letter, she said, I was giving my 134 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:33,000 Speaker 3: husband permission to cheat. This is what her mother said, 135 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:36,320 Speaker 3: and I didn't wanna believe her. I got so offended 136 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:39,560 Speaker 3: by what she said because I trusted my husband, so 137 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:43,520 Speaker 3: she didn't have no intuition that her husband was up 138 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:47,280 Speaker 3: to something and doing something. Her mama put this in 139 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:54,920 Speaker 3: her head. Shirley, she busybody, asked Mama. 140 00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:57,320 Speaker 2: So she was so persistent in it. 141 00:07:57,760 --> 00:07:59,880 Speaker 3: After they picked up the kid from school one day, 142 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:01,680 Speaker 3: told her to drive by your friend's house. 143 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:03,080 Speaker 2: My husband's truck was on the. 144 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:07,480 Speaker 3: Side of my friend's house, not in her driveway, but 145 00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:08,680 Speaker 3: on the side of. 146 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:11,840 Speaker 2: Her house, a little ways up from her house. 147 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:16,840 Speaker 3: Okay, I don't know what that means, but what she 148 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:19,400 Speaker 3: told me the part can call my husband. He ain't 149 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:21,680 Speaker 3: answer the phone. So my mom was trying to get 150 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:24,720 Speaker 3: me to go to my friend's door. I refused to 151 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:26,520 Speaker 3: go to the door, and I didn't call her because 152 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:29,160 Speaker 3: my mom was too fired up. My husband came home 153 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:33,240 Speaker 3: an hour later. I told him I called him. He 154 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:38,480 Speaker 3: said his phone died. Papy, perfect, But I'm gonna show 155 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:41,880 Speaker 3: you what makes this one so good, because see me, 156 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:47,680 Speaker 3: that would be the perfect lie. My phone died. I 157 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:51,080 Speaker 3: charged it up in the car on the way here. 158 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:54,920 Speaker 3: That would have been perfect lie. But he said, my 159 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:57,920 Speaker 3: phone died. He said he was at my friend's house 160 00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:01,760 Speaker 3: getting a washed nest off her patio. You didn't ask 161 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:03,720 Speaker 3: him what he was doing, He said, I called you 162 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:06,920 Speaker 3: at my friend's house. You ain't answering my phone. He said, well, 163 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:09,280 Speaker 3: my phone died and I was getting the washed nest 164 00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:13,360 Speaker 3: off your friend's patio. That's easy to confirm. Ask your 165 00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:16,880 Speaker 3: friend if she had a washing nest. Okay, my mother 166 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:22,679 Speaker 3: raised up this lonely raggedy by herself, asked old ass. 167 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:28,480 Speaker 3: Woman raises up and says that's not nice. She in 168 00:09:28,559 --> 00:09:33,720 Speaker 3: this man business. That ain't nice her raggedy, busybody. No man, 169 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:38,320 Speaker 3: having asked Mama, that's who this He is? Raised up 170 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:41,800 Speaker 3: and told him we drove by, saw your truck, You called, 171 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:44,120 Speaker 3: and you ignored us. He said it because he was 172 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:46,800 Speaker 3: getting the washing nest. How you gonna answer the phone 173 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:49,320 Speaker 3: if it's dead, ain't get the washing is done. Then 174 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:52,680 Speaker 3: he showed us come on my man that his phone 175 00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:57,600 Speaker 3: was dead. My man come through. So now he didn't 176 00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:01,280 Speaker 3: even lie like I'd have did, because I lied and 177 00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:04,640 Speaker 3: said my phone was dead. Then I charged it in 178 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:06,760 Speaker 3: the call the way home. He ain't even do that. 179 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:10,520 Speaker 3: So this brother even took My mom called him a liar. 180 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:17,079 Speaker 3: Why is your ass miss negative by your self ass 181 00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:20,480 Speaker 3: mama in law calling the man a liar. And I 182 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:23,000 Speaker 3: wanted her to bag down and get out of her business. 183 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:25,640 Speaker 2: She been in your business. Shit she got there. 184 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:28,080 Speaker 3: He yelled at me and said that my mom is 185 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:30,760 Speaker 3: all up in my head and he ain't done nothing. 186 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:31,840 Speaker 2: And guess what. 187 00:10:32,559 --> 00:10:38,079 Speaker 3: There is no proof other than your mama's suspicion that 188 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:41,760 Speaker 3: you gave your husband permission to cheat when you told 189 00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:44,200 Speaker 3: him to go over your best friend's house whose husbands 190 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:46,200 Speaker 3: had died and help her out. 191 00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:47,719 Speaker 2: That's all it is. 192 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,600 Speaker 3: And your mama came to the conclusion that if you 193 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:53,000 Speaker 3: tell a man to go over your best friend's house, 194 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:57,480 Speaker 3: you gave him permission to cheat. That's a theory of hers. 195 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:01,520 Speaker 3: He swore to he would never help my friend again. 196 00:11:01,559 --> 00:11:03,520 Speaker 3: He says, it's cool. I ain't helping her, no day, 197 00:11:03,559 --> 00:11:04,560 Speaker 3: no I'm out of this. 198 00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:04,959 Speaker 2: Help. 199 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:08,560 Speaker 3: That night, my husband said he wants my mother to 200 00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:13,440 Speaker 3: go home immediately. I won't hide my house. Should I 201 00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:15,840 Speaker 3: trust him or listen to your mom? Okay? 202 00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:19,920 Speaker 2: Now here's your options with that. First of all, if. 203 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:24,560 Speaker 3: You trust your husband based on the information he's done nothing, 204 00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:29,480 Speaker 3: you have no information that your husband is cheating. You 205 00:11:29,559 --> 00:11:33,040 Speaker 3: have no text messages, you have no pictures, you have 206 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:36,560 Speaker 3: no late night phone. He ain't hiding his phone from 207 00:11:36,559 --> 00:11:41,200 Speaker 3: you your girlfriend. You ain't saying your girlfriend acting funny. Now, 208 00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:45,559 Speaker 3: you ain't saying none of that. Nothing says your husband 209 00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:51,760 Speaker 3: is cheating. So should I trust him? Okay? Or should 210 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:55,200 Speaker 3: I listen to my mama? Yeah, listen to your mama. 211 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:59,640 Speaker 3: Go get some divorce papers filed for divorce and put 212 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:04,720 Speaker 3: in the paperwork infidelity, and then go to court with 213 00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:10,920 Speaker 3: your infidelity facts, ask for the house, tell him you 214 00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:14,079 Speaker 3: don't want him no more, go on back out there 215 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:17,600 Speaker 3: and try to find you a new husband, and listen 216 00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:23,000 Speaker 3: to your mama. Leave him and get a divorce and 217 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:27,480 Speaker 3: never speak to this man again. And then make you 218 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:31,880 Speaker 3: know when you don't put out irrest, irreconcilable differences, put 219 00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:36,240 Speaker 3: in the paperwork infidelity and then let's go to court 220 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:40,640 Speaker 3: with your infidelity proof, and let's see how that go 221 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:45,280 Speaker 3: for you. If you listen to your mama, you're gonna 222 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:54,120 Speaker 3: end up like your mama house from Nigeria without a man, 223 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:56,680 Speaker 3: and now she don't want nobody else to have a 224 00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:59,400 Speaker 3: man because your daddy cheated on her. 225 00:12:59,559 --> 00:13:02,520 Speaker 1: All right, Link your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on 226 00:13:02,679 --> 00:13:05,520 Speaker 1: Instagram and on Facebook at Steve. 227 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:07,720 Speaker 2: Harvey, snod Jesus, and check. 228 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:11,000 Speaker 1: Out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app. 229 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:14,719 Speaker 1: Coming up next, it is Junior and Sports Talk. Right 230 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:18,440 Speaker 1: after this, you're listening Dave Harvey Morning Show