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Speaker 1: Your holster is way more important than you think it is.

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Speaker 1: It's just way more important than you think it is.

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Speaker 1: What look, and I get that. The holsters not the

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Speaker 1: sexy part of carrying firearms. All right, You want to

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Speaker 1: talk about your weapon and your ammunition. You want to

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Speaker 1: talk about your safety training. You want to talk about

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Speaker 1: how you did at the range. Oh, look at my groups.

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Speaker 1: I was doing these failure drills today, and all that

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Speaker 1: stuff is really important. I mean, really really important. I'm

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Speaker 1: not discounting that, but I've known so many people who

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Speaker 1: do all those things. They take all the necessary steps

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Speaker 1: and then they carry with a holster they bought from

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Speaker 1: a big box hunting store that was made a thousand

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Speaker 1: at a time. Please don't put your life in one

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Speaker 1: of those holsters. You need to trust Northwest Retention Systems

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Speaker 1: because it's all custom made gear. It's the only thing

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Speaker 1: I carry around NW Retention dot Com. That's NW Retention

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Speaker 1: dot Com used to promo co Jesse gets you ten

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Speaker 1: percent off. This is a Jesse Kelly Show. Yes it isn't.

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Speaker 1: Ask doctor Jesse Thursday here on the Jesse Kelly Show.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna do the best I can to turn down

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Speaker 1: the energy just a little bit because I'm excited. I'm

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Speaker 1: excited about the history story. You have me excited with

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Speaker 1: these absurdly good questions you sent in today. It is

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Speaker 1: the Jesse Kelly Show eight seven seven three seven seven

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Speaker 1: four three seven three Jesse at Jesse Kelly show dot

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Speaker 1: Com for you new people. Yes, I realize it's a

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Speaker 1: political show. I open every single day with a history story,

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Speaker 1: no matter what, without fail. I then normally move into

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Speaker 1: politics normally, but the eye can get distracted and often

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Speaker 1: do telling stupid stories and answering questions and doing things

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Speaker 1: like that that happens in the normal show. However, on Fridays,

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Speaker 1: usually Fridays, it's an ask Doctor Jesse Day, where I

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Speaker 1: take the whole show after the history story, and I

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Speaker 1: just answer your questions. What kind of questions. Well, here's

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Speaker 1: a brief sample of what we will be going over

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Speaker 1: today about an hour from now. One mom wants to

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Speaker 1: know whether she should take her son to Hooters or

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Speaker 1: Church's Chicken and what to order. I'm about to blow

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Speaker 1: you away with that one too. What does the world

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Speaker 1: look like if Britain joins Germany in World War One? Three?

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Speaker 1: Who would win? Spearman or a t Rex. Like I said,

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Speaker 1: the questions get heavy, and how many years do we

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Speaker 1: have before we are a full blown communist. I'm going

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Speaker 1: to answer all these questions today on the Jesse Kelly Show.

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Speaker 1: But first let's rewind and tell a little story about

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Speaker 1: ancient Rome. We are going back to Rome before Christ

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Speaker 1: fifty sixty seventy years before Christ. This is way before

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Speaker 1: Chris's people killed him. We are going back to a

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Speaker 1: time of Julius Caesar, of Crassus, of Pompey, Pompey the Great,

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Speaker 1: Pompy Magnus. Now we're going to pause before we go

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Speaker 1: over Rome because I have to set up the opponent

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Speaker 1: they're going to be facing today. Alexander the Great needs

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Speaker 1: no introduction, and great conqueror took over everything and then

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Speaker 1: promptly died right away, died right away, thirty two thirty

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Speaker 1: three years old. When he died, there were endless battles

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Speaker 1: and squabblings and assassinations over who got his empire? How

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Speaker 1: did it end? Well, a bunch of people got it.

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Speaker 1: His powerful generals all basically split the place up, and

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Speaker 1: one of the most powerful was the Seleucids. It's the

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Speaker 1: Seleucid empire, very very cool empire. We'll go over them

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Speaker 1: again at some point in time. The Seleucid Empire. All

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Speaker 1: you need to know is just think Iran. It was

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Speaker 1: bigger than that, but just think that's that's what we're

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Speaker 1: talking about. Mesopotamia on the northern part of Iran. The

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Speaker 1: northern part of the Salucid Empire was the Asian step.

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Speaker 1: We have gone over this before. Asian step. If you

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Speaker 1: want to draw a big fat line from east to

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Speaker 1: west across Asia right through the middle of it, that's

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Speaker 1: considered the step, and historically forever that area produces nasty warriors.

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Speaker 1: Genghis Khan that's where he came from. Attila the Hun

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Speaker 1: that's where he came from. It produces horse archers, nomadic

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Speaker 1: horse archers who, when they're organized with a good leader,

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Speaker 1: are virtually unbeatable in battle. You don't you don't believe me,

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Speaker 1: ask the Salucids. At one point a bunch of horse

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Speaker 1: archers came storming into the to the northern part of

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Speaker 1: their empire and just took a big part of it.

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Speaker 1: Horse archers. They then proceeded, over the coming years to

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Speaker 1: gobble up virtually the entire Salucid empire. This became what

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Speaker 1: we know as Parthia. By the way, just the little

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Speaker 1: preview of what may be coming today. You know Genghis

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Speaker 1: Khan until at the time, like I said, they were

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Speaker 1: horse archers and they were famous. Their armies were famous

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Speaker 1: for their horse archers appearing to retreat, riding away from

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Speaker 1: you as you charge at them, but then turning around

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Speaker 1: and firing absurdly accurate and powerful arrows behind them. That

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Speaker 1: was known as the Parthian shot. Why do you think

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Speaker 1: that is? You're about to find out today, Oh little

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Speaker 1: little water cooler trivia for you here, you can act

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Speaker 1: smart with all your co workers. That got turned into

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Speaker 1: the parting shot that we know today. That came from

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Speaker 1: the Parthian shot. That's to take a shot at somebody

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Speaker 1: as you walk away. Anyway, be that as it may.

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Speaker 1: The Parthian Empire rises and they become a powerful empire.

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Speaker 1: They're trading with the Chinese. Things are going well. But

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Speaker 1: as all powerful empires do, they begin to stumble once

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Speaker 1: things got too good, assassinations, squabbling, they were. They were

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Speaker 1: heading into some hard times. But still horse archers, powerful,

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Speaker 1: very powerful. Let's pause and go to Rome. Now this

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Speaker 1: part I'm going to try to get through as fast

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Speaker 1: as possible. It's just that this part gets complicated. Rome

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Speaker 1: at this point in time was flexing its muscle east

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Speaker 1: a little bit. This is the period when when Julius

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Speaker 1: Caesar is up in Gaul. This is the period where

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Speaker 1: they're expanding north. They start to look east towards places

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Speaker 1: like Pontus and Parthia and say to themselves, I mean,

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Speaker 1: how much trouble would it be to just go over

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Speaker 1: there and take some of it. Look at all the

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Speaker 1: money and power they have. We are Rome, We are

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Speaker 1: by far the best military power in the world, the

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Speaker 1: greatest country in the world at the moment. Why wouldn't

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Speaker 1: we just don't take it? And before you look down

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Speaker 1: on Rome for this way of thinking, One, remember, conquering

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Speaker 1: is the history of the world. That's the way people think. Two,

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Speaker 1: they weren't wrong about being so much better than everyone

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Speaker 1: else militarily. At this point this had been we're talking,

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Speaker 1: it had been a hundred years before Rome had lost

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Speaker 1: or since Rome had lost a significant battle. They were

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Speaker 1: just used to trapsing those legions out in the field

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Speaker 1: and steamrolling people. Why wouldn't we go a little bit

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Speaker 1: further east? Which brings us to our subject today. It's

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Speaker 1: actually not a story about Julius Caesar. It's not even

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Speaker 1: really a story about Pompey Magnus. It's a story about

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Speaker 1: a man named as one of, if not the richest

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Speaker 1: men to ever live. In today's dollars, he would have

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Speaker 1: been a billionaire. Now, what was Crassus's history before this point,

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Speaker 1: before he joins up with Caesar and Pompey. His history

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Speaker 1: was different. Rome at one point had a guy in

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Speaker 1: charge named Sala who fought a big civil war in Rome,

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Speaker 1: killed a bunch of Romans in order to get back

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Speaker 1: to the Roman Republic the way it should be. Crassus

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Speaker 1: was a very accomplished general during this time. Historically, people

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Speaker 1: look at Crassus and say to themselves, what an idiot.

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Speaker 1: I can't believe he blew Grassius was an outstanding general

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Speaker 1: at this time. Now, he was also a little bit

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Speaker 1: of a scumbag, I mean an extreme scumbag. You see Sala. Sala,

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Speaker 1: once he took power, did this thing called prescriptions where

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Speaker 1: he would simply put a list up in the town

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Speaker 1: square of everybody he wanted murdered, and then people would

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Speaker 1: go murder them and bring their heads back so Sala

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Speaker 1: could pay them. Oftentimes, Sala's prescriptions simply were for rich

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Speaker 1: people whose lands he wanted to seize for himself and

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Speaker 1: his friends. Crassus made himself just a little bit of

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Speaker 1: money during this time. And actually that's not the worst

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Speaker 1: thing Crassus did for money. We'll go over that and

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Speaker 1: then we'll go into our battle here. Before we get

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Speaker 1: to our questions, hang on, this is a Jesse Kelly show.

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Speaker 1: Like a stain on your brain you can't get out.

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Speaker 1: Jake's Mintschu will help you break that habit of dipping.

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Speaker 1: I am not pointing a finger at you, I'm not lecturing.

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Speaker 1: I'm just saying, as someone who dipped for a long time,

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Speaker 1: it is something you need to let go. You can't

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Speaker 1: do that forever. I'm not going to ever judge you

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Speaker 1: for it. But there is a way you can quit

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Speaker 1: that is actually not miserable at all. In fact, you

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Speaker 1: might find yourself enjoying it. It's called Jake's Mint Chew.

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Speaker 1: It's tobacco free, it's nicotine free, it's even sugar free,

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Speaker 1: and it's dip you put in your lip. They even

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Speaker 1: have CBD pouches. And I would really recommend those, especially

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Speaker 1: early because the CBD pouches really helped take that edge off.

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Speaker 1: Good at Jake's mint Chew dot Com. That's Jake's mint

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Speaker 1: Chew dot Com used to promo code Jesse at checkout

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Speaker 1: that gets you twenty percent off truth attitude Jesse Kelly,

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Speaker 1: how much time do we have before we're full blown communist?

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Speaker 1: And what do you order at Church's Chicken? I will

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Speaker 1: tackle these two equally important items today on a rare ask,

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Speaker 1: doctor Jesse. Thursday. We're doing it on Thursday this week

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Speaker 1: because I am out tomorrow. B K will be filling in.

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Speaker 1: I have to go do some fancy thing I'm not

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Speaker 1: allowed to talk about yet. I will fill you in

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Speaker 1: on Monday. You have my word eight seven seven three

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Speaker 1: seven seven four three seven three Jesse at Jesse Kelly

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Speaker 1: show dot com. Don't forget if you miss any part

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Speaker 1: of the show. You can download the whole thing on iHeart, Google, Spotify,

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Speaker 1: and iTunes. On iTunes, leave a five star rating, leave

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Speaker 1: a review talking about how handsome I am. All right,

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Speaker 1: back to our story here, Salah as he's giving these prescriptions,

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Speaker 1: and his prescriptions are lists of people he once murdered,

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Speaker 1: and people are dying. Crassus, who is already very wealthy,

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Speaker 1: is the one taking advantage of it. And oh, yes,

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Speaker 1: I think I will buy this farm. Turns out the

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Speaker 1: owner he doesn't need it anymore. And that's not the

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Speaker 1: worst thing he did. The worst thing he did was

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Speaker 1: most certainly this. He had his own construction crew. Nothing

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Speaker 1: wrong with that. Good for you. I grew up in construction.

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Speaker 1: He also had his own fire department. There wasn't some

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Speaker 1: government run fire department. He had his own. He would

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Speaker 1: sometimes wait for a building to be on fire, sometimes

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Speaker 1: have his people set a building on fire that maybe

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Speaker 1: he wanted to acquire. He then would take his fire

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Speaker 1: department and walk up to the owner who's standing in

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Speaker 1: the street watching his house burn, and say, I would

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Speaker 1: like to give you some money for that. I mean,

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Speaker 1: of course, it's gonna be half what it's worth. And

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Speaker 1: the owner would either a freak out and say it's

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Speaker 1: worth way more than that. Screw you put it out,

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Speaker 1: and then Crassis would say no, I don't think I

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Speaker 1: will and watch it burn all the way to the ground,

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Speaker 1: or the owner would have to hang his head except

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Speaker 1: his half price offer, and then Crassis would turn loose

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Speaker 1: his fire brigade to put out the fire and the

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Speaker 1: home he just purchased for half price, then would have

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Speaker 1: his construction crew come right in and refurbish the house

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Speaker 1: and take care of any fire damage that had happened.

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Speaker 1: So we're not talking about a great person here. Just

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Speaker 1: be clear about that. Life gets complicated, Chris. I see

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Speaker 1: the admiration you have right now, and I want you

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Speaker 1: to know you're a bad person. You should see Jewish

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Speaker 1: producer Chris over there trying to feel bad about this

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Speaker 1: guy's way of making money. That's just wrong, Chris. No, Chris,

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Speaker 1: that does not count as being a savvy businessman. That

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Speaker 1: is no. No. But Chris says he identified the holes

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Speaker 1: in the market and he's feeling it. There's something wrong

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Speaker 1: with you, okay. He also, again, this story is always

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Speaker 1: told like Crassus is some rich, bumbling idiot who was

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Speaker 1: great at business but had never led armies. I already

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Speaker 1: told you about the army he led during Sula's Civil War.

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Speaker 1: He also was the one you know the movie Spartacus,

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Speaker 1: the Spartacus Rebellion, the third slave revolt in Rome, the

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Speaker 1: big one. Don't undersell that that slave army was a

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Speaker 1: juggernaut and they were slaughtering entire Roman armies. Spartacus was

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Speaker 1: an outstanding military commander. He was so good. People think

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Speaker 1: that he was probably a powerful general at the nation

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Speaker 1: he was in before he got taken as a slave

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Speaker 1: and made a gladiator. I mean, the dude was really,

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Speaker 1: really good. Crassus was the one who built an army

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Speaker 1: and went and put that army down. Crassus did that,

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Speaker 1: which brings us to the triumvirate. What is the triumvirate?

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Speaker 1: If you study ancient room at all for any period

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Speaker 1: of time, you will hear it. There were others that

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Speaker 1: came after it, just no, this was the first one.

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Speaker 1: So it's often called the first triumvirate because it was first. Chris,

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Speaker 1: you might have figured that out already. Yeah, look, I

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Speaker 1: like to inform people that was Julius Caesar, Pompy Magnus,

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Speaker 1: and Crassus. Why did they get together, Well, it's not

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Speaker 1: like they were best buddies at all. In fact, Pompey

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Speaker 1: Magnus and Crassus flat out hated each other. But they

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Speaker 1: realized they had acquired many of the same enemies in Rome,

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Speaker 1: very very powerful enemies, and they were going to get

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Speaker 1: taken out if they didn't do something. And they also realized,

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Speaker 1: if us three joined together, we all of a sudden

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Speaker 1: are by far the most powerful entity in Rome, and

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Speaker 1: nobody can touch us. So they joined together and make

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Speaker 1: their own government essentially well guide the Roman government doing

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Speaker 1: whatever they want to do. For twenty years, they just

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Speaker 1: rule Rome together. What's the deal in this? Who gets what?

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Speaker 1: Julius Caesar was fighting an absurdly powerful, popular, profitable war

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Speaker 1: in Gaul. He's taking over France. Remember the reason it

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Speaker 1: was profitable, like we talked about yesterday, a big reason

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Speaker 1: it was profitable were the slaves. He was just acquiring

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Speaker 1: slaves by the million. He's just piling up slaves. So

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Speaker 1: Caesar's up there getting rich and powerful. Caesar, because of

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Speaker 1: the Triumvirate, essentially gets permission to go continue his war

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Speaker 1: and golf for another five years, just filling up his

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Speaker 1: bank account. What does Pompey Magnus get. Pompey Magnus gets

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Speaker 1: Spain gets to control the Roman armies and the Mediterranean.

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Speaker 1: What does Crassus get? Crassus gets to make war whenever

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Speaker 1: he wants, which is a big deal back then. And

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Speaker 1: Crassus gets the East. The East was already known to

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Speaker 1: be a really, really wealthy, powerful place. And Crassus starts

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Speaker 1: to look east pretty much immediately, and he looks at

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Speaker 1: this place called Parthia, and in Crassus's defense, because everyone

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Speaker 1: has twenty twenty hindsight and makes the guy out to

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Speaker 1: be an incompetent boob, Crassis he thought Parthia looked really weak.

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Speaker 1: And Parthia did look really weak. You have backstabbing and assassinations,

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Speaker 1: and it's a crumbling empire. But it's a crumbling empire

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Speaker 1: sitting on a pot of gold. How could I not

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Speaker 1: go after Parsia? Right? What are they gonna do? Take

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Speaker 1: on us? So Crassus raises seven legions, another thing he

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Speaker 1: got permission to do, raising legion on his own. Remember,

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Speaker 1: whenever someone brings up a legion, you just need to

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Speaker 1: think five thousand men. It wasn't always that exactly that,

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Speaker 1: but it's generally roughly five thousand men. That's a legion.

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Speaker 1: He raised seven of them. He also grabs his son,

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Speaker 1: who had been fighting from fighting with Julius Caesar on

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Speaker 1: Julius Caesar's side, not fighting Julius Caesar, been fighting Julius Caesar.

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Speaker 1: His son was a great cavalry Commander Krastus raises his

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Speaker 1: legions and then tells Caesar, I need my son. His

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Speaker 1: son's name was Publius, and he has a role to

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Speaker 1: play in this story as well. Publius rides south to

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Speaker 1: go hang out with pop and take his cavalry into

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Speaker 1: battle with his father onto glory. So here we have

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Speaker 1: crasses with pretty much forty thousand men. The exact numbers

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Speaker 1: disputed about thirty five thousand heavy heavy Roman infantry five

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Speaker 1: thousand Roman cavalry. Now we have to discuss the Roman

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Speaker 1: infantry for a moment. I'm not going to nerd out

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Speaker 1: on the details too much. I don't want you falling

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Speaker 1: asleep behind the wheel before we get to our ask

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Speaker 1: doctor Jesse questions. But there is something you do have

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Speaker 1: to know because it matters for our story. Rome conquered

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Speaker 1: the world with heavy infantry. They were the heavy infantry

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Speaker 1: people of all time. They had perfected it, absolutely perfected it. Shields, spears, armor, sword,

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Speaker 1: and discipline like you can't possibly imagine. I know you're

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Speaker 1: picturing a movie probably Gladiator at this point in time,

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Speaker 1: but that's real Roman units. They never fought as individuals. Ever,

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Speaker 1: they were always linked with absurd disciplined, shields locked together,

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Speaker 1: shields and front shields on the side, shields overhead. They

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Speaker 1: could follow commands immediately on the battlefield. It's why Rome

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Speaker 1: routinely was absurdly outnumbered in one virtually every time except

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Speaker 1: maybe this time, we will go over that. And then

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Speaker 1: they asked doctor Jesse questions, Wake up and text, Text

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Speaker 1: and eat, Text and catch the bus, Text and miss here,

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00:21:57,640 --> 00:22:02,760
Speaker 1: stop wait, wait, Text and be late to work sorry.

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Speaker 1: Text and work, Text and pretend to work, text and

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00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:11,800
Speaker 1: x surprised when someone calls you out for not working.

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Speaker 1: Text and meet up with a friend you haven't seen

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Speaker 1: in forever. Text and complain that they're on their phone

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Speaker 1: the whole time. Text and listen to them, complain that

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Speaker 1: you're on your phone the whole time. Text and whatever.

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Speaker 1: But when you get behind the wheel, give your phone

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Speaker 1: to a passenger, put it in the glove box. Just

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Speaker 1: don't text and drive. Visit stop texts, Stop rex dot

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Speaker 1: org a public service announcement brought to you by the

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Speaker 1: National Highway Traffic Safety Administration and the AD Council. Somebody

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Speaker 1: wants to know how to convince his wife that men

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Speaker 1: ripping on each other is how men relate to each other.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to explain that phenomenon here shortly, but first

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Speaker 1: before I get to my ask, doctor Jesse questions, we

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Speaker 1: have to try to finish our story about Crassus and Parthia.

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Speaker 1: Crassus sees Parthia as being weak. They're backstabbing each other's sons,

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Speaker 1: are assassinating their fathers to take the throne, then fighting

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Speaker 1: each other. It's a disaster, so that's not good. Crassus

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Speaker 1: builds his legions, seven of them, grabs his son Publius

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Speaker 1: with the cavalry, and heads east. Now Parthia gets word

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Speaker 1: than an invasion is coming, and they begin to make preparations.

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Speaker 1: When this story is told, people often simplify this story

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Speaker 1: and say crass Is walked in there and then matter

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Speaker 1: and then it didn't work. That's not true at all.

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Speaker 1: And one more thing before we continue on, one more

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Speaker 1: thing about the Roman legions, about the heavy infantry. The

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Speaker 1: reason they were so unstoppable, obviously is their discipline in

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Speaker 1: their armor, in their shields. But you should know it

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Speaker 1: was routine for them to square off against people who

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Speaker 1: shot arrows and through rocks with slings and through spears,

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Speaker 1: and it was routine for them to withstand all that

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Speaker 1: because all their shields were locked. They even had this

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Speaker 1: formation called the testudo. You've probably seen it in movies before,

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Speaker 1: where their shields are locked in the front and overhead,

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Speaker 1: so you can't shoot an arrow up in land on them.

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Speaker 1: There is essentially an impenetrable turtle, and and it's very

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Speaker 1: it's it's unstoppable. It had always been unstoppable. Grassis marches

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Speaker 1: into Parthia, promptly meets with a rag tag Parthian army

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Speaker 1: they threw together, it wasn't really an official one, and

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Speaker 1: he crushes them. He then moves on. There are a

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Speaker 1: bunch of cities there that come right over to Crassus,

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Speaker 1: and so this is going pretty much exactly his plan.

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Speaker 1: There was one city that held out, and they actually

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Speaker 1: acted like they were going to be friendly, and they

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Speaker 1: let a bunch of Roman troops in and then they

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Speaker 1: promptly sealed the gates and slaughtered them. And then Crassus

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Speaker 1: went down and burned the city to the ground and

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Speaker 1: killed every man, woman and child. That is generally not

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Speaker 1: a good idea to knife a Roman in the back.

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Speaker 1: And that was the first year of this campaign. It

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Speaker 1: all went perfectly. Crassis retires to winter colds. The history

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Speaker 1: of the world is a history of weather. You and

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Speaker 1: I don't think about it as much because we all

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Speaker 1: live work in worship. I shouldn't say all we live

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Speaker 1: work in worship in climate controlled environments. Now, that's just

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Speaker 1: what we do, So you don't think about whether they

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Speaker 1: didn't generally campaign in the winter back then. But it's

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Speaker 1: all going well. But while Crassis is in his winter quarters,

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Speaker 1: Parthia gets their affairs in order. A man takes over,

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Speaker 1: gets everything organized, and he appoints himself a general who

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Speaker 1: turned out to be a very, very capable man, a

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Speaker 1: man by the name of Serainus Soranus gathers his army

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Speaker 1: and he has something planned for Crassus. Crassus marches on

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Speaker 1: the year ends. It's time to get going again. Crassis

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Speaker 1: takes his previously unstoppable Roman legions in his Roman cavalry

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Speaker 1: and they march out, forty thousand of them. Crassis does

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Speaker 1: get some bad information about the route he should take.

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Speaker 1: He asked somebody, Hey, which way should I go? You're

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Speaker 1: gonna be my guide. The guy guides them in a

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Speaker 1: way that happens to be perfect for the Parthian army. Yes,

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Speaker 1: the guy turned out to be a trader who was

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Speaker 1: actually working for the Parthians. But even still not the

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Speaker 1: end of the world. You're still the Roman legions. So

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Speaker 1: they're a little hungry, they're a little thirsty. They got

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Speaker 1: separated off the river for a little while, but they're

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Speaker 1: still Rome. They're doing fine. And they find themselves on

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Speaker 1: a plane on the plains, right next to a city

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Speaker 1: called Karai. Now Roman legions can fight anywhere, always have,

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Speaker 1: always will, so they weren't exactly concerned about being out

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Speaker 1: on a plane. We still are the same heavy infantry,

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Speaker 1: the shields still work on the plains. What are you

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00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:05,040
Speaker 1: going to do about it? And he runs into a

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Speaker 1: Parthian army. Now, remember there are forty thousand Romans here.

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Speaker 1: What kind of army does he run into? With the Parthians?

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Speaker 1: About ten thousand? About ten thousand and right now Crassus

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Speaker 1: is a little confused as to why they're squaring off

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Speaker 1: of them. He's a little confused why the Parthians have

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Speaker 1: been so cocky. Anyways, remember that first year, after he

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Speaker 1: took took all those cities and beat the army, Parthians

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Speaker 1: sent an envoy to Crassus, and of course the envoy

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Speaker 1: knocks on the door, Hey, Crassus, And Crassus is sitting

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Speaker 1: there thinking, oh good, you're coming to make peace terms

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Speaker 1: or surrender. And the Parthian envoy says, hey, we'll give

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Speaker 1: you permission to leave with your life if you leave now.

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Speaker 1: And crassis as It says, I'm sorry, what did you say? No,

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Speaker 1: I'll see you in your capitol soon. And the Parthian

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Speaker 1: envoy tell me this didn't take Big brass Ones holds

402
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Speaker 1: out his palm and says, you will see hair growing

403
00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:07,600
Speaker 1: here before you ever see our capital, and rides off.

404
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:12,880
Speaker 1: These are not people unfamiliar with war. Crassus in his

405
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:16,400
Speaker 1: forty thousand Romans run into a ten thousand man Parthian army.

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Speaker 1: They promptly form a gigantic square. The Roman army forms

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Speaker 1: a gigantic square because what are they looking at? Well,

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00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:30,880
Speaker 1: it's a little different. What is that? Where's the infantry?

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Speaker 1: They all look like they're on horses. Why are they

410
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:36,160
Speaker 1: all on horses? Who fights like that? You can't win

411
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:40,000
Speaker 1: like that? What a bunch of idiots? All right? Whatever,

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Speaker 1: form up into a big square. What are the horses

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Speaker 1: going to do? Jump over it? No, that's not how

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00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,840
Speaker 1: it works. So they're done, and not only that, they're

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00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:53,080
Speaker 1: not even that impressive looking. Well, he was missing a

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Speaker 1: couple very, very key points. One this ten thousand man

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Speaker 1: armory army on horseback, about nine thousand of them were

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Speaker 1: horse archers. Only they weren't the kind of archers Crassis

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Speaker 1: or any Roman had dealt with before. Remember I talked

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Speaker 1: about that Asian step thing in the very beginning. The bow,

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Speaker 1: the composite bow that was used from Mattila the Hun

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00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:22,480
Speaker 1: to these guys, to Genghis Khan was not like any

423
00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:25,560
Speaker 1: other bow in the world. You didn't just chopped down

424
00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:27,920
Speaker 1: a little tree and put a string on it in

425
00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:31,120
Speaker 1: call it a day. It was an extensive process to

426
00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:34,720
Speaker 1: make one of these, using tendons and bone and everything else.

427
00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:39,200
Speaker 1: These things could shoot, they say that. Look, I'll tell

428
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:41,200
Speaker 1: you this. I saw two or three different sources as

429
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:42,800
Speaker 1: I was reading up on this that said this, and

430
00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:44,880
Speaker 1: I still don't believe it, but that's what they say.

431
00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:48,960
Speaker 1: They say the thing could shoot four hundred yards. There's

432
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:51,600
Speaker 1: no way that's true. I have a very hard time

433
00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:55,560
Speaker 1: believing that's true. But it could shoot really, really far.

434
00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:58,000
Speaker 1: Let's just leave it at that. And the arrow it

435
00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 1: shot because the bow was so powerful, the arrow which

436
00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:06,120
Speaker 1: shot was really really heavy. So laws of physics are

437
00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:10,040
Speaker 1: this bow can shoot harder and shoot something that's a

438
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:13,760
Speaker 1: lot heavier and nastier than anything the Romans had ever

439
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:17,440
Speaker 1: seen before. That's really going to come into play here

440
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:19,840
Speaker 1: in just a moment. And on top of the nine

441
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:26,000
Speaker 1: thousand horse archers, Selenas had something else. He had one

442
00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:31,280
Speaker 1: thousand what they called catafracts. What's a catafract. It's a

443
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:35,440
Speaker 1: man on horseback with a long lance. But also the

444
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:40,000
Speaker 1: horse is draped in armor too, and I mean draped

445
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:45,200
Speaker 1: in armor. It's an ancient tank. And because Salinas was

446
00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:47,720
Speaker 1: trying to bait this Roman army into fighting at this

447
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:54,080
Speaker 1: point in time, he had all these catafracts throw blankets

448
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:56,840
Speaker 1: over the armor so the Romans couldn't see they were

449
00:31:56,960 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 1: armored until they'd formed up, and at which point Selena's

450
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 1: had them throw the blankets off. And now they're looking

451
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:07,760
Speaker 1: at armored horses in front of them. But still not

452
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:10,320
Speaker 1: the end of the world. We're roam, we're in a square.

453
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:14,040
Speaker 1: What's this army one fourth our size even gonna do

454
00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:18,960
Speaker 1: to us? He's about to find out. And then we'll

455
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:44,000
Speaker 1: get to our ask doctor Jesse questions. Hang on miss something.

456
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:47,840
Speaker 1: There's a podcast getting on demand wherever podcasts are found,

457
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:57,880
Speaker 1: The Jesse Kelly Show, Fellas. This one's for you. I

458
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Speaker 1: I used to snore pretty bad, and I would snore

459
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Speaker 1: pretty bad because of my allergies. And now I don't

460
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Speaker 1: do that anymore. Because I have an Eden Pure thunderstorm.

461
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462
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463
00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:17,080
Speaker 1: the morning and have to sneeze. I don't wake up

464
00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:19,560
Speaker 1: in the morning and have to blow my nose. I'm

465
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Speaker 1: clear because I have an Eden Pure thunderstorm. It's quiet,

466
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Speaker 1: it's extremely powerful, it takes all the odors out of

467
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Speaker 1: your room, and it has made my allergies better, which

468
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469
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Speaker 1: helped me sleep. Go get one, Just get one for

470
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471
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472
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473
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Speaker 1: that actually gets you ten bucks off. It is the

474
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:17,600
Speaker 1: Jesse Kelly Show. We have alternate histories. We have to do.

475
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:23,120
Speaker 1: We have animal fights, as always, how long does America

476
00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:26,840
Speaker 1: have before it turns communists? And other things? But first

477
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:31,239
Speaker 1: we have to address something. We have to address what

478
00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:35,640
Speaker 1: happened with Crassus at the Battle of Karai eight seven

479
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:39,239
Speaker 1: seven three seven seven four three seven three Jesse at

480
00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:42,000
Speaker 1: Jesse Kelly show dot com. They are formed up in

481
00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:47,200
Speaker 1: a square and ready the Parthians charge with their horses,

482
00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:51,240
Speaker 1: and the Romans are sitting there thinking, okay, feel free.

483
00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:54,439
Speaker 1: What are you going to do? Slam your horse into

484
00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:58,719
Speaker 1: our shield wall, You're all going to die. The Parthians

485
00:34:58,760 --> 00:35:02,560
Speaker 1: do charge, but they peel off when they get close,

486
00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:06,200
Speaker 1: and they don't run into these Romans in this square.

487
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:10,560
Speaker 1: They start shooting arrows at them. Again, not a problem,

488
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:13,840
Speaker 1: has never been a problem for these heavy infantry Roman legions,

489
00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:17,920
Speaker 1: with their armor and their shields and their discipline, except

490
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:21,840
Speaker 1: these are Asian step people, and this is a whole

491
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:24,720
Speaker 1: different kind of bow and a whole different kind of arrow.

492
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:30,839
Speaker 1: The arrows are going through the shields. The arrows are

493
00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:35,080
Speaker 1: going through the shields, and they're sticking in people's arms.

494
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:40,240
Speaker 1: They're sticking people's feet to the ground so they can't move.

495
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:45,280
Speaker 1: They're sticking through their legs in some cases, they're sticking

496
00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:49,800
Speaker 1: through their eyes and killing them. They're sticking through them forward.

497
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:53,560
Speaker 1: The Parthians also as they're just riding by. What they're doing,

498
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:56,879
Speaker 1: it's very discipline and organized. One unit will ride by

499
00:35:56,960 --> 00:35:59,239
Speaker 1: in front of the formation, shooting and then ride away,

500
00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:01,360
Speaker 1: and then the next it rides by and rides away.

501
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:04,080
Speaker 1: They're also shooting them in the air, so they're coming

502
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:07,320
Speaker 1: down on the Roman heads and going through the shields

503
00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:12,359
Speaker 1: that way. Okay, this is a very big deal. However, Crassus,

504
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:16,160
Speaker 1: an experienced general, is not that worried yet, because he

505
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:20,480
Speaker 1: says to himself and his other commanders, okay, not good,

506
00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:23,399
Speaker 1: but they're gonna run out of arrows, as everybody else does.

507
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:25,279
Speaker 1: And then what are they gonna do? Ride around and

508
00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:30,799
Speaker 1: yell at us. Gonna be fine. Salinas was prepared for

509
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:34,000
Speaker 1: such things. You see on top of the ten thousand

510
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:37,560
Speaker 1: horse archer, well, nine thousand archers, one thousand catafracts. On

511
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:42,000
Speaker 1: top of his cavalry. Sealinus had brought a massive some

512
00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:45,279
Speaker 1: say hundreds, some say thousands. We don't know. We just

513
00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:48,960
Speaker 1: know it was a massive train of camels. What were

514
00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:55,760
Speaker 1: they carrying? They were all carrying arrows endless supplies of arrows.

515
00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:58,680
Speaker 1: You would ride in front of the Roman army, unload

516
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:03,000
Speaker 1: every single arrow you had, and then you simply gallop

517
00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:05,319
Speaker 1: your horse on back to the camel train, where they

518
00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:08,120
Speaker 1: had a brand new quiver waiting for you, handing it

519
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:11,760
Speaker 1: to you to do it again and again and again

520
00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:15,959
Speaker 1: and again. And the Roman army is now in very,

521
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:22,680
Speaker 1: very deep trouble. They're in such deep trouble that Crassus's son, Publius,

522
00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:26,960
Speaker 1: the man in charge of the Roman cavalry, tells his father,

523
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:30,439
Speaker 1: not incorrectly, I have got to go charge and try

524
00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:32,520
Speaker 1: to get them away from us, or we're all gonna

525
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:37,240
Speaker 1: die here. And so, to his credit a very brave move,

526
00:37:37,719 --> 00:37:41,040
Speaker 1: he hops on his horse and takes his cavalry unit

527
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:45,000
Speaker 1: and sallies forth and charges out of that square at

528
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:50,919
Speaker 1: the Parthians, who promptly turn around and run away. They're

529
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:54,359
Speaker 1: running away from Publius. He has just saved the day.

530
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:57,200
Speaker 1: Look at him, He's gonna ride him down like grass.

531
00:37:57,280 --> 00:37:59,759
Speaker 1: They're scared of him, of course, they are scared of

532
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:04,000
Speaker 1: the Romans, as everyone else is. Publius rides away. They

533
00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:06,400
Speaker 1: think it was about a mile or two, they say,

534
00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:10,520
Speaker 1: except the Parthians weren't running away because they were scared.

535
00:38:10,560 --> 00:38:14,319
Speaker 1: They were running away because remember those thousand catafracts with

536
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:19,160
Speaker 1: heavy armor and lances. They were waiting in ambush for Publius.

537
00:38:20,239 --> 00:38:23,359
Speaker 1: They waited till he got there and then charged him

538
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:28,040
Speaker 1: surround to him slaughtered almost all of his men, gets away,

539
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:31,840
Speaker 1: gets to a little hilltop. They charge him to finish

540
00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:35,000
Speaker 1: him off. He goes to kill himself, which was the

541
00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:37,840
Speaker 1: custom at the time, but he takes an arrow in

542
00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:40,640
Speaker 1: the hand and can't do it, so he has to

543
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:43,320
Speaker 1: tell his servant to kill him, and his servant does.

544
00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:48,040
Speaker 1: Crassus doesn't know what had happened. It was all a

545
00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:50,600
Speaker 1: big dust bowl, right, it's not the movies. You can't

546
00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:52,800
Speaker 1: see you don't have a cut scene or you sees

547
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:55,320
Speaker 1: a bunch of horses and dust and screaming and yelling.

548
00:38:56,360 --> 00:39:00,120
Speaker 1: What's the next thing? Crassus sees. The next thing crass

549
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:03,839
Speaker 1: to seize as those Parthian cavalry coming right back at him,

550
00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:10,640
Speaker 1: and they're carrying something. What are they carrying? They were

551
00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:14,240
Speaker 1: carrying a long spike with his son's head on top

552
00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:18,200
Speaker 1: of it, and they rode around the Roman army while

553
00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:21,560
Speaker 1: Crassus had to watch his son's head in the end

554
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:26,160
Speaker 1: of a spike. At the end of the day. When

555
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:30,640
Speaker 1: nighttime came, the Romans had lost at least half their

556
00:39:30,719 --> 00:39:35,839
Speaker 1: force dead. They are now you want to talk PTSD.

557
00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:40,399
Speaker 1: They are broken mentally and have to do something right.

558
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:43,120
Speaker 1: You have to do something or we're all gonna die

559
00:39:43,239 --> 00:39:46,680
Speaker 1: when the sun comes up. So they came up. They

560
00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:48,959
Speaker 1: come up with a plan. Crassus comes up with a plan.

561
00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:53,240
Speaker 1: Cold hearted, yeah, but it is what it is. Any

562
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:57,000
Speaker 1: man who can't walk, leave him on the ground. The

563
00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:59,440
Speaker 1: rest of us are going to pull back in a

564
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:03,520
Speaker 1: discipline way back to the city of Karai and to

565
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:07,280
Speaker 1: the mountains. Split up, run where you can and hide.

566
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:10,920
Speaker 1: How's that turnout for Crassis? You will find out in

567
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:13,680
Speaker 1: a second. And then it's asked doctor Jesse time hang

568
00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:39,960
Speaker 1: on ninety two one eight over one eleven, one hundred

569
00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:42,680
Speaker 1: eighty two over one hundred and I had a heart

570
00:40:42,719 --> 00:40:47,239
Speaker 1: attack and a cardiac arrest and then a stroke. Your

571
00:40:47,239 --> 00:40:50,759
Speaker 1: blood pressure numbers could change your life. A lot of

572
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Speaker 1: people don't understand, including myself. I didn't now I do

573
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Speaker 1: the impact of a shore. My memory is shot. When

574
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:08,399
Speaker 1: I woke up, I can't speak lowering your high blood

575
00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:10,960
Speaker 1: pressure could save you from a heart attacker stroke. If

576
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:13,440
Speaker 1: you've stopped your treatment plan, restart it or talk to

577
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:15,759
Speaker 1: your doctor about creating one that works better for you.

578
00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:19,200
Speaker 1: Start taking the right steps at manage er bp dot org.

579
00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:22,840
Speaker 1: It's an old life, but I'm going to make it better.

580
00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:28,800
Speaker 1: I'll come back. I ask you, doctor, check your blood pressure.

581
00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:33,160
Speaker 1: Brought to you by the American Heart Association, American Medical Association,

582
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Speaker 1: and the AD Council. It is the now world famous

583
00:41:56,239 --> 00:42:01,040
Speaker 1: Jesse Kelly Show doing a very rare ask doctor Jesse

584
00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:03,880
Speaker 1: on Thursday. I'm so excited to get to these It

585
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:06,040
Speaker 1: took all I could do not to rush the history

586
00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:09,399
Speaker 1: story today so I can get to these questions. When

587
00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:13,520
Speaker 1: do we stop retreating? Somebody wants to know. Somebody wants

588
00:42:13,560 --> 00:42:16,920
Speaker 1: to know what to order at Church's Chicken and Hooters.

589
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:20,800
Speaker 1: People want to know how long do we have before

590
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:23,840
Speaker 1: we go communist? I'm going to answer all these questions today.

591
00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:27,839
Speaker 1: I'm not even doing guests today. You get nothing but me.

592
00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:30,160
Speaker 1: So I would just like to say, from the bottom

593
00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:34,879
Speaker 1: of my heart, congratulations what Chris eight seven seven three

594
00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:39,160
Speaker 1: seven seven four three seven three Jesse at Jesse Kelly

595
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:41,279
Speaker 1: show dot Com. We will wrap up the story of

596
00:42:41,400 --> 00:43:32,560
Speaker 1: Crass's here and then it's on. This is a Jesse

597
00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:56,960
Speaker 1: Kelly Show. This is the Jesse Kelly Show. It is

598
00:43:57,000 --> 00:44:01,240
Speaker 1: the Jesse Kelly Show. On an Ask Doctor Jesse Thursday.

599
00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:05,440
Speaker 1: This week we have some great questions eight seven seven

600
00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:09,520
Speaker 1: three seven seven four three seven three Jesse at Jesse

601
00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:13,880
Speaker 1: Kelly Show dot Com. No guests today, just all me.

602
00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:22,520
Speaker 1: But first, Roman army leaves behind. They're wounded. They retreat

603
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:26,080
Speaker 1: to the town, they retreat to the hills. Case you're wondering,

604
00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:29,560
Speaker 1: they left about four thousand men behind who couldn't move

605
00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:33,120
Speaker 1: because they were so wounded. The Parthians promptly went up

606
00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:38,000
Speaker 1: and slaughtered every single one of them. They last two

607
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:41,440
Speaker 1: or three days on the run. They still are about

608
00:44:41,440 --> 00:44:45,000
Speaker 1: a seven thousand man army at this time. Obviously they're

609
00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:49,239
Speaker 1: they're a bit not doing great, but they still have

610
00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:53,200
Speaker 1: Crassus alive. And if they make it out of here

611
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:56,840
Speaker 1: alive with Crassus, remember we're still talking about maybe the

612
00:44:56,920 --> 00:45:00,560
Speaker 1: richest man who ever lived, they're probably going to be

613
00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:04,320
Speaker 1: more than fine. They're gonna go retreat to an ally.

614
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:08,200
Speaker 1: They're going to spend another year or two time worked

615
00:45:08,280 --> 00:45:12,080
Speaker 1: different back then, raising a whole bunch more legions, probably

616
00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:15,560
Speaker 1: have him with a bit thicker shield next time, and

617
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:22,000
Speaker 1: probably gonna come back and win. The Ptarthian general Selenas

618
00:45:22,760 --> 00:45:26,920
Speaker 1: tries to extend a hand at this point in time

619
00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:30,720
Speaker 1: to Crassus, send somebody out and says, hey, let's parlay,

620
00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:34,319
Speaker 1: let's get together. Crassus it does not want to do

621
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:37,400
Speaker 1: this at all. Why because of what I just said?

622
00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:40,160
Speaker 1: But why would I parlay? I've lost this day. I'll

623
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:42,200
Speaker 1: be back in a year to win. Screw him, I'm

624
00:45:42,239 --> 00:45:46,840
Speaker 1: out of here. His commanders, though, encourage him, practically force

625
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:48,719
Speaker 1: him to do it. No, no, no, you need to.

626
00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:50,960
Speaker 1: We're hurting. I don't know if we're gonna make it

627
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:53,640
Speaker 1: out of this. The Parthians are still looking for them.

628
00:45:53,719 --> 00:46:01,320
Speaker 1: Go go go, Crassis does go. Rass Is never comes back.

629
00:46:03,880 --> 00:46:06,560
Speaker 1: How did that story end? While the story ended that

630
00:46:07,080 --> 00:46:11,719
Speaker 1: they were putting on plays back in Parthia, using Crassus's

631
00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:16,200
Speaker 1: real head as a prop in the plays, that's how

632
00:46:16,239 --> 00:46:22,879
Speaker 1: that story ended. In case you're wondering the underrated general Salinas,

633
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:26,120
Speaker 1: things didn't work out well for him either. You see,

634
00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:28,840
Speaker 1: he wasn't the king, he was the general. The king appointed,

635
00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:31,279
Speaker 1: and this was a dirt ball of a king who

636
00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:35,399
Speaker 1: didn't want a very powerful, now very very popular, very

637
00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:38,439
Speaker 1: capable general in his kingdom, So when he got back home,

638
00:46:38,480 --> 00:46:44,440
Speaker 1: he promptly had him killed. Politics is a dirty business.

639
00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:51,839
Speaker 1: Power games or a dirty business. Men have killed each

640
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:56,720
Speaker 1: other for money and power since the dawn of time.

641
00:46:57,680 --> 00:47:02,960
Speaker 1: They always have, they all will. Don't make the mistake

642
00:47:03,040 --> 00:47:07,439
Speaker 1: of thinking you live in some more refined era than

643
00:47:07,480 --> 00:47:11,719
Speaker 1: the ones that came before you. Now allow us to

644
00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:16,279
Speaker 1: dig in to the ask doctor Jesse questions today, and

645
00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:20,919
Speaker 1: they are so stinking good. Let us begin eight seven

646
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:25,080
Speaker 1: seven three seven seven four three seven three Jesse at

647
00:47:25,160 --> 00:47:29,920
Speaker 1: Jesse Kelly show dot com. Don't forget this. I read

648
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:32,600
Speaker 1: all of your emails, whether they're asked, Doctor Jesse or not.

649
00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:36,640
Speaker 1: They all go right to Jewish producer Chris. He prints

650
00:47:36,680 --> 00:47:39,040
Speaker 1: them off. I read every one of them. Your love,

651
00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:41,960
Speaker 1: your hate, your death threats. You're asked doctor Jesse questions,

652
00:47:42,160 --> 00:47:44,560
Speaker 1: I will not respond. I get way too many of them,

653
00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:49,000
Speaker 1: but you send them. I read them. Dear doctor Jesse.

654
00:47:50,719 --> 00:47:53,279
Speaker 1: I'm gonna fly across the country to visit my son

655
00:47:53,320 --> 00:47:58,080
Speaker 1: in Bakersfield, California. He's a tall, thin Navy veteran with

656
00:47:58,120 --> 00:48:02,120
Speaker 1: a very deep voice. Should we eat at Hooters or

657
00:48:02,239 --> 00:48:05,719
Speaker 1: Church's Chicken? Neither of us have been to these restaurants.

658
00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:09,080
Speaker 1: As far as I know. He doesn't have a girlfriend

659
00:48:09,480 --> 00:48:11,439
Speaker 1: tell me what to order. And this is a lady.

660
00:48:11,440 --> 00:48:12,959
Speaker 1: I'm not going to give her name because she didn't

661
00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:14,560
Speaker 1: say I could give her name. But it's a lady.

662
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:18,600
Speaker 1: So it's a mom going to see her son. All right,

663
00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:23,080
Speaker 1: I have the ultimate solution for you. You ready for this, lady? One?

664
00:48:24,120 --> 00:48:27,279
Speaker 1: Hooters does not have good food. It does not have

665
00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:33,520
Speaker 1: good food. Like I say about restaurants, restaurants are selling

666
00:48:33,560 --> 00:48:37,880
Speaker 1: you one of three things. Generally, at all times, they're

667
00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:44,360
Speaker 1: selling you great food, or they're selling you a great location,

668
00:48:45,280 --> 00:48:49,840
Speaker 1: or they're selling you dimes in the white staff. They

669
00:48:49,880 --> 00:48:53,440
Speaker 1: generally will not combine two of those things. I know

670
00:48:53,520 --> 00:48:57,000
Speaker 1: there are exceptions to that rule, but like all things,

671
00:48:57,040 --> 00:49:00,359
Speaker 1: you're only as good as you have to be. That's

672
00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:05,640
Speaker 1: why that beach side restaurant that food sucks all the time.

673
00:49:05,719 --> 00:49:08,719
Speaker 1: You know it's quit, don't lie, no, no, I had

674
00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:13,279
Speaker 1: it sucks. You know it sucks. It does that restaurant

675
00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:16,040
Speaker 1: that it's at the top of a skyscraper and it

676
00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:20,680
Speaker 1: turns around as you eat. Oh no, my steak is bad. Yeah,

677
00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:22,400
Speaker 1: they don't have to sell good steak. They don't have

678
00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:25,600
Speaker 1: to spend extra money on fresh produce and good steak

679
00:49:25,719 --> 00:49:28,600
Speaker 1: because you're going to go anyway because the view's nice.

680
00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:34,279
Speaker 1: You find some restaurant way off the beaten path and

681
00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:37,359
Speaker 1: walk in and it's some haggard eighty five year old

682
00:49:37,440 --> 00:49:41,600
Speaker 1: serving you food. The food's going to be phenomenal every

683
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:45,400
Speaker 1: single time, because that's what they're selling you. These restaurants

684
00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:47,880
Speaker 1: that have popped up, and I'm not passing any judgment

685
00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:50,960
Speaker 1: at all, but that specialized. It's not just Hooters. Now

686
00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:53,839
Speaker 1: there's Twin Peaks and there's all these they specialize and

687
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:58,760
Speaker 1: you know, half dressed dimes. How good is the food really?

688
00:49:59,280 --> 00:50:02,400
Speaker 1: How good? Well it's not that good. Why it doesn't

689
00:50:02,400 --> 00:50:05,160
Speaker 1: have to be. Dudes are gonna flock in there anyway

690
00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:09,360
Speaker 1: to drink beer and look at women. That's what dudes do. However,

691
00:50:09,480 --> 00:50:13,200
Speaker 1: I applaud you mom for maybe trying to wrangle something

692
00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:17,000
Speaker 1: up for your single navy veteran son. So let's tackle

693
00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:20,800
Speaker 1: the issue at hand. You know, the food sucks at Hooters.

694
00:50:21,080 --> 00:50:24,640
Speaker 1: Don't worry, we're going to get there eventually. What you're

695
00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:27,920
Speaker 1: going to do is this, You're going to make sure.

696
00:50:28,560 --> 00:50:32,040
Speaker 1: I know California has some weird gun laws, some really

697
00:50:32,040 --> 00:50:35,319
Speaker 1: bad ones, but make sure you're legally armed and head

698
00:50:35,360 --> 00:50:38,080
Speaker 1: down to Church's Chicken. You should be armed at all

699
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:40,960
Speaker 1: times anyway, but you definitely need to be armed when

700
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:44,320
Speaker 1: you're going into Church's Chicken. In general, I would recommend

701
00:50:44,400 --> 00:50:47,759
Speaker 1: you order your food to go. That lessens the chance.

702
00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:51,520
Speaker 1: That lessens the chance of being violently mugged. Wow, you eat,

703
00:50:52,280 --> 00:50:56,160
Speaker 1: but you go down to Church's Chicken. You get there

704
00:50:56,480 --> 00:51:00,520
Speaker 1: spicy chicken, spicy chicken. Sometimes they're out, but you get

705
00:51:00,520 --> 00:51:04,680
Speaker 1: their spicy chicken. Make sure you get their biscuits, and

706
00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:10,120
Speaker 1: make sure you get their halapino cheese bombers. The halapino

707
00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:14,440
Speaker 1: cheese bombers at Church's Chicken are the most underrated item

708
00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:18,000
Speaker 1: on any menu in the United States of America today.

709
00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:20,640
Speaker 1: They're that good. Get some ranch to dip them in

710
00:51:20,960 --> 00:51:25,680
Speaker 1: what they're essentially Chris ajlapino cheese popper, only they it's

711
00:51:25,719 --> 00:51:28,600
Speaker 1: such a simple step. Instead of it being one big

712
00:51:28,680 --> 00:51:31,520
Speaker 1: halapino in there, like one big side of it, they

713
00:51:31,560 --> 00:51:34,920
Speaker 1: have them all diced up throughout it and add it

714
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:37,120
Speaker 1: just adds to the flavor. They're so good and they're

715
00:51:37,120 --> 00:51:39,360
Speaker 1: made right every time. And I'll tell you this, Mom,

716
00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:45,479
Speaker 1: over order the lapino cheese bombers. Well, however many you order,

717
00:51:45,680 --> 00:51:47,960
Speaker 1: it's not going to be enough. So over order the

718
00:51:48,040 --> 00:51:52,160
Speaker 1: cheese bombers. You go to Church's Chicken first, you guys

719
00:51:52,200 --> 00:51:56,160
Speaker 1: get nice and full on delicious Church's chicken and biscuits

720
00:51:56,320 --> 00:52:01,640
Speaker 1: and the Jalapino cheese bombers. Then, because you're a good mom,

721
00:52:01,880 --> 00:52:03,920
Speaker 1: you guys put your heads together. I don't know what

722
00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:06,400
Speaker 1: kind of relationship you have. I'm assuming it's pretty good.

723
00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:09,839
Speaker 1: You go to Hooters. Your son is a single man.

724
00:52:10,880 --> 00:52:14,560
Speaker 1: He has one job, and one job only in Hooters.

725
00:52:15,360 --> 00:52:19,120
Speaker 1: You sit down with your mom, and he has to

726
00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:23,960
Speaker 1: make it absurdly obvious that he treats you like gold.

727
00:52:24,120 --> 00:52:27,839
Speaker 1: Whenever the waitress is around, Mom, what do you need? Mom?

728
00:52:27,880 --> 00:52:30,200
Speaker 1: You can have anything you want. Mom, I love you

729
00:52:30,239 --> 00:52:32,680
Speaker 1: so much. Oh sorry, waitress, I didn't know you were there.

730
00:52:32,800 --> 00:52:38,080
Speaker 1: Right now. She will be swooning in about fifteen to

731
00:52:38,120 --> 00:52:41,520
Speaker 1: twenty minutes. Then the game plan is this. You guys

732
00:52:41,560 --> 00:52:44,840
Speaker 1: have to game plan this together. He's going to excuse

733
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:48,160
Speaker 1: himself to make a phone call. Don't excuse himself to

734
00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:50,120
Speaker 1: use the restroom. She doesn't want to think about him

735
00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:53,240
Speaker 1: going peepe. He excuses himself to make a phone call

736
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:59,879
Speaker 1: while the waitress is there. You make a little light conversation.

737
00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:03,200
Speaker 1: Shouldn't with the waitress? What are you going to say?

738
00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:05,920
Speaker 1: I'm going to tell you what to say next, and

739
00:53:05,960 --> 00:53:08,080
Speaker 1: then we'll get to the rest of our ask doctor

740
00:53:08,160 --> 00:53:35,960
Speaker 1: Jesse questions, Oh God on not him, only side of me,

741
00:53:36,920 --> 00:53:44,880
Speaker 1: Jesse Kelly, don't listening to the Jesse Kelly Show. What

742
00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:47,680
Speaker 1: if I told you that you could put something in

743
00:53:47,840 --> 00:53:53,640
Speaker 1: your home that was small, quiet, but that's something would

744
00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:58,560
Speaker 1: destroy deadly viruses in bacteria and protect your family. What

745
00:53:58,719 --> 00:54:02,920
Speaker 1: if that same something could eliminate odors, not cover them up,

746
00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:05,440
Speaker 1: not cover them up, eliminate them, take them right out

747
00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:09,040
Speaker 1: of the air. And that same something would get rid

748
00:54:09,080 --> 00:54:14,800
Speaker 1: of those itchy eyes that running knows, the sneezing that exists.

749
00:54:15,239 --> 00:54:19,680
Speaker 1: It's called an eden pure thunderstorm. It uses sonic technology

750
00:54:19,760 --> 00:54:23,879
Speaker 1: to produce super oxygen that purifies your air the same

751
00:54:23,920 --> 00:54:27,920
Speaker 1: way nature does after a thunderstorm. I don't own one

752
00:54:27,960 --> 00:54:32,279
Speaker 1: of these. I own three of these. I'm probably going

753
00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:33,960
Speaker 1: to get a fourth this is one of the best

754
00:54:34,040 --> 00:54:36,640
Speaker 1: products I've ever bought in my life. Go to Eden

755
00:54:36,880 --> 00:54:41,319
Speaker 1: pure deals dot com. That's Eden pure deals dot Com

756
00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:44,759
Speaker 1: used the code word Jesse at checkout for ten bucks off.

757
00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:08,640
Speaker 1: It is the Jesse Kelly Show. Remember if you missed

758
00:55:08,760 --> 00:55:11,440
Speaker 1: our history story or miss any part of the show

759
00:55:11,480 --> 00:55:15,120
Speaker 1: today or any day. Once the show is done, Chris

760
00:55:15,120 --> 00:55:19,040
Speaker 1: puts a podcast version of it up on iHeart and

761
00:55:19,200 --> 00:55:24,920
Speaker 1: Google and Spotify and iTunes. Leave a five star rating

762
00:55:24,960 --> 00:55:30,880
Speaker 1: on iTunes, leave a review talking about how handsome I am.

763
00:55:31,040 --> 00:55:34,760
Speaker 1: What Chris, it's important for the show. Back to our story.

764
00:55:34,800 --> 00:55:37,920
Speaker 1: The question was should you eat at Hooters or Church's

765
00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:40,719
Speaker 1: Chicken when this mom goes to visit her single Navy

766
00:55:40,800 --> 00:55:45,200
Speaker 1: veterans son. I've already explained you eat at churches first,

767
00:55:46,040 --> 00:55:48,640
Speaker 1: make sure you protect yourself at all times. Then you

768
00:55:48,719 --> 00:55:52,200
Speaker 1: go to Hooters. Make sure your son is treating you

769
00:55:52,280 --> 00:55:55,600
Speaker 1: like gold, really pouring it on whenever the waitress is there.

770
00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:58,680
Speaker 1: He needs to excuse himself to make a phone call.

771
00:55:59,600 --> 00:56:04,320
Speaker 1: At point, you say, oh, you're such a sweet young lady.

772
00:56:03,640 --> 00:56:07,719
Speaker 1: I've been telling him to look for somebody just like you,

773
00:56:08,120 --> 00:56:10,880
Speaker 1: and she'll say, oh, I didn't know he was single.

774
00:56:11,360 --> 00:56:15,680
Speaker 1: This is the feeling out process to see if he is. Then,

775
00:56:16,560 --> 00:56:19,360
Speaker 1: because we don't want to make it awkward, then the

776
00:56:19,440 --> 00:56:24,440
Speaker 1: move is this. When she comes to hand out the check,

777
00:56:24,680 --> 00:56:28,040
Speaker 1: you the mom, are going to want to pay. You

778
00:56:28,320 --> 00:56:33,040
Speaker 1: cannot pay. You absolutely cannot, even if you want to

779
00:56:33,040 --> 00:56:37,520
Speaker 1: give him the money. Afterwards, he has to not only pay,

780
00:56:37,560 --> 00:56:40,640
Speaker 1: he has to not let you pay in front of her.

781
00:56:41,320 --> 00:56:45,480
Speaker 1: He then has to tip her well, and you need

782
00:56:45,520 --> 00:56:49,600
Speaker 1: to excuse yourself so he can close the deal and

783
00:56:49,760 --> 00:56:55,960
Speaker 1: ask for the phone number. Full proof, Chris, what you know?

784
00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:58,759
Speaker 1: What you laugh now? Chris? I bet you money. We're

785
00:56:58,760 --> 00:57:01,640
Speaker 1: gonna get an email a week or two. This dude's

786
00:57:01,640 --> 00:57:05,200
Speaker 1: now dating some dime Hooters waitress. You watch. I didn't

787
00:57:05,239 --> 00:57:07,120
Speaker 1: say marry or I don't know what she looks like,

788
00:57:07,239 --> 00:57:14,760
Speaker 1: but you never know. You never know. Oh wise history Oracle.

789
00:57:14,840 --> 00:57:16,200
Speaker 1: You know what. We'll get to that one in just

790
00:57:16,280 --> 00:57:17,600
Speaker 1: a second. I have to get to a couple of

791
00:57:17,600 --> 00:57:22,200
Speaker 1: these emails. Stainless steel, tall, tan, handsome Oracle. I know

792
00:57:22,320 --> 00:57:25,040
Speaker 1: you don't like DC, but for someone who will have

793
00:57:25,080 --> 00:57:28,200
Speaker 1: to make periodic trips out there for work, any bar

794
00:57:28,480 --> 00:57:32,760
Speaker 1: slash restaurant recommendations like any food and drink question. I'm

795
00:57:32,760 --> 00:57:35,480
Speaker 1: sure you have strong opinions here. Thank you for your

796
00:57:35,480 --> 00:57:40,080
Speaker 1: commitment to emails and putting out quality show every single day. Okay,

797
00:57:40,080 --> 00:57:43,479
Speaker 1: first of all, I'm sure you already know this because

798
00:57:43,520 --> 00:57:45,560
Speaker 1: you sound like a man who's been there, but maybe

799
00:57:45,560 --> 00:57:50,200
Speaker 1: you haven't prepare yourself for weapons grade disappointment when it

800
00:57:50,240 --> 00:57:55,520
Speaker 1: comes to Washington, DC. Their food scene is embarrassingly bad.

801
00:57:55,840 --> 00:57:58,800
Speaker 1: Chris raises his hands right now and asks why this

802
00:57:58,920 --> 00:58:01,320
Speaker 1: is one of the very few things I actually don't

803
00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:03,720
Speaker 1: know the answer to. You have a city that is

804
00:58:03,760 --> 00:58:06,640
Speaker 1: absurdly rich, so you know you're going to get some

805
00:58:06,720 --> 00:58:09,200
Speaker 1: quality in there as far as chefs and restaurants. Right,

806
00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:13,040
Speaker 1: it's absurdly rich. It's absurdly diverse. And I'm not doing

807
00:58:13,080 --> 00:58:15,760
Speaker 1: that well diversity raters thing because it actually doesn't. But

808
00:58:15,760 --> 00:58:17,640
Speaker 1: when it comes to food, it very much. Does you

809
00:58:17,720 --> 00:58:20,600
Speaker 1: want a bunch of different cultures in your town because

810
00:58:20,600 --> 00:58:23,720
Speaker 1: it creates great food mixes and great flavors and things

811
00:58:23,760 --> 00:58:26,840
Speaker 1: like that. And there's everybody there. There's Blacks, there's Mexicans,

812
00:58:26,840 --> 00:58:31,960
Speaker 1: there's a humongous Asian population, there's Indians everywhere, there's Ethiopians.

813
00:58:31,960 --> 00:58:35,240
Speaker 1: That that should make for such a great combination of foods,

814
00:58:35,560 --> 00:58:39,880
Speaker 1: the money, and the diversity and everything else, and it sucks.

815
00:58:40,200 --> 00:58:42,640
Speaker 1: I live there for a year, there's just I mean,

816
00:58:42,640 --> 00:58:45,160
Speaker 1: there's obviously a couple of little honeyholes, but for the

817
00:58:45,200 --> 00:58:49,160
Speaker 1: most part, the food stucks. I will say, the fast

818
00:58:49,200 --> 00:58:51,360
Speaker 1: food joint, we have them here in Texas now, the

819
00:58:51,400 --> 00:58:56,680
Speaker 1: fast food joint Shake Shack makes a phenomenal burger. You'll

820
00:58:56,720 --> 00:59:01,440
Speaker 1: find some places like that. There's a hotel there called

821
00:59:01,480 --> 00:59:05,880
Speaker 1: the hay Atoms. There's a hotel they're called the hay Atoms.

822
00:59:07,120 --> 00:59:09,240
Speaker 1: They serve a drink a bunch of places in DC

823
00:59:09,440 --> 00:59:13,520
Speaker 1: servant now called a Darkened Stormy. Go to the hay Atoms,

824
00:59:14,040 --> 00:59:18,000
Speaker 1: sit down in their circular bar, order a dark and

825
00:59:18,200 --> 00:59:20,640
Speaker 1: Stormy for yourself. It's very good. I'm not saying it's

826
00:59:20,640 --> 00:59:22,200
Speaker 1: the best thing in the world. It's very good. But

827
00:59:22,400 --> 00:59:26,240
Speaker 1: while you're in the hay Atoms drinking a dark and Stormy,

828
00:59:26,960 --> 00:59:30,680
Speaker 1: get on your phone look up the history of that

829
00:59:30,960 --> 00:59:35,480
Speaker 1: very same circular bar you're sitting in drinking a Darkened Stormy.

830
00:59:35,720 --> 00:59:38,560
Speaker 1: I'm gonna leave it at that. You go from there.

831
00:59:38,960 --> 00:59:42,320
Speaker 1: It's really really cool. One. In fact, the only cool

832
00:59:42,400 --> 00:59:46,360
Speaker 1: thing about Washington, DC is the history of it. I

833
00:59:46,400 --> 00:59:50,840
Speaker 1: actually do recommend people visit it the museums and memorials

834
00:59:50,840 --> 00:59:53,320
Speaker 1: and stuff like that. It is the cool thing about it.

835
00:59:53,360 --> 00:59:56,040
Speaker 1: As much as I despise living there for the year

836
00:59:56,120 --> 00:59:59,240
Speaker 1: I live there, that is one thing I never got over.

837
00:59:59,320 --> 01:00:02,040
Speaker 1: I never got over taking one of those bridges into

838
01:00:02,120 --> 01:00:04,800
Speaker 1: town and you're looking up at the Washington Monument the

839
01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:08,520
Speaker 1: Capitol buildings, say, it's just there's something cool about that,

840
01:00:09,040 --> 01:00:15,200
Speaker 1: something cool about that. Dearest showgunnists Maximus and keeper of

841
01:00:15,200 --> 01:00:19,880
Speaker 1: the Sombrero Chris, listening to your story about selling your

842
01:00:19,880 --> 01:00:22,920
Speaker 1: truck for a Honda Civic to better navigate the streets

843
01:00:22,920 --> 01:00:26,080
Speaker 1: of DC had the Fellas cracking up. At the firehouse

844
01:00:26,200 --> 01:00:29,520
Speaker 1: in Northeast, where I drive the front of a fifty

845
01:00:29,600 --> 01:00:32,080
Speaker 1: five foot hook and ladder truck with another guy who

846
01:00:32,200 --> 01:00:34,920
Speaker 1: drives the back end through many of the horribly kept

847
01:00:34,960 --> 01:00:38,120
Speaker 1: streets and tight alleys of the district, we can definitely

848
01:00:38,160 --> 01:00:40,560
Speaker 1: relate to your struggle. I cannot believe you guys drive

849
01:00:40,600 --> 01:00:42,920
Speaker 1: a fire truck through those through those streets. I'm not

850
01:00:42,960 --> 01:00:45,520
Speaker 1: sure I could drive a bicycle through those sorry streets anyway.

851
01:00:45,920 --> 01:00:48,280
Speaker 1: Started listening to you last year on the recommendation of

852
01:00:48,280 --> 01:00:51,920
Speaker 1: another fireman, and really appreciate your lessons in history, especially

853
01:00:51,920 --> 01:00:54,240
Speaker 1: in this day and age where cancel culture is doing

854
01:00:54,240 --> 01:00:56,960
Speaker 1: its best to doom us to repeat it. The next

855
01:00:57,000 --> 01:01:00,440
Speaker 1: time you find yourself in our nation's capital, come buy

856
01:01:00,480 --> 01:01:02,960
Speaker 1: the firehouse for dinner and allow us to show you

857
01:01:03,040 --> 01:01:06,040
Speaker 1: just how wrong you are about smoked brisket. We have

858
01:01:06,080 --> 01:01:09,360
Speaker 1: it down to a science here. Also, you're rugged, handsome.

859
01:01:09,440 --> 01:01:11,640
Speaker 1: This is the only reason for giving you a pass

860
01:01:12,080 --> 01:01:15,120
Speaker 1: on smoking a brisket for five hours and thinking it

861
01:01:15,200 --> 01:01:19,400
Speaker 1: was done, shesh. No wonder you weren't impressed. Jewish producer

862
01:01:19,480 --> 01:01:23,360
Speaker 1: Chris was completely justified in shutting your mic off at

863
01:01:23,400 --> 01:01:26,800
Speaker 1: that point, unless you continue to blaspheme your number one

864
01:01:26,840 --> 01:01:28,720
Speaker 1: fan in DC, and he says I can use his name.

865
01:01:28,800 --> 01:01:32,440
Speaker 1: His name is Matt. I've caught so much heat for

866
01:01:32,440 --> 01:01:34,960
Speaker 1: that brisket one. And you know what, Matt, Chris and

867
01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:37,760
Speaker 1: I have already talked about this. Inevitably we're gonna have

868
01:01:37,800 --> 01:01:40,080
Speaker 1: to go to DC for something, or at least I am.

869
01:01:40,120 --> 01:01:42,520
Speaker 1: I'll try not to take Chris with me, but inevitably

870
01:01:42,520 --> 01:01:44,520
Speaker 1: we're gonna have to go to DC for something. I

871
01:01:44,560 --> 01:01:49,600
Speaker 1: will absolutely be in your firehouse for some food. Fireman, Chris,

872
01:01:49,880 --> 01:01:53,960
Speaker 1: have you ever eaten with fireman? Fireman know how to eat?

873
01:01:54,000 --> 01:01:56,840
Speaker 1: So it's one of those things people don't talk about

874
01:01:56,840 --> 01:01:59,120
Speaker 1: because of the hours they work. They work and they're

875
01:01:59,160 --> 01:02:01,200
Speaker 1: all different, but they work weird hours. There'll be you know,

876
01:02:01,680 --> 01:02:05,000
Speaker 1: on too off to to like two days, things like that.

877
01:02:05,040 --> 01:02:07,640
Speaker 1: So you're essentially living at the firehouse and they live

878
01:02:07,680 --> 01:02:11,920
Speaker 1: as one big group of dudes and women. Now I'm

879
01:02:11,960 --> 01:02:14,560
Speaker 1: being look I think about it as dudes, all right,

880
01:02:14,920 --> 01:02:17,560
Speaker 1: and it's one big group of dudes and they get

881
01:02:17,600 --> 01:02:20,160
Speaker 1: together and they just figure out how to cook and

882
01:02:20,240 --> 01:02:23,560
Speaker 1: cook really really well. All they do is eat, sleep,

883
01:02:23,840 --> 01:02:27,360
Speaker 1: work out like beasts, and go put out fire. It's awesome,

884
01:02:28,480 --> 01:02:32,680
Speaker 1: all right. How many years do you think the United

885
01:02:32,720 --> 01:02:36,440
Speaker 1: States have before we become a communist country? We have

886
01:02:36,480 --> 01:02:39,560
Speaker 1: so much happening to destroy the country. Wonder if there

887
01:02:39,640 --> 01:02:42,840
Speaker 1: is any other period in United States history that anyone

888
01:02:42,920 --> 01:02:45,880
Speaker 1: could enter the country like they do now. Is this

889
01:02:45,960 --> 01:02:49,320
Speaker 1: a new event? The open border? Also, when we have

890
01:02:49,400 --> 01:02:51,840
Speaker 1: to flee the country, will another country take us in?

891
01:02:51,960 --> 01:02:56,240
Speaker 1: I think not? It will be root, little pig root ps.

892
01:02:57,440 --> 01:03:01,200
Speaker 1: I am old and disappointed. I will probably die in place,

893
01:03:01,400 --> 01:03:03,960
Speaker 1: or they will kill me because I won't be slave material.

894
01:03:04,080 --> 01:03:08,520
Speaker 1: And then she finishes with her name, which I won't read. Okay,

895
01:03:08,560 --> 01:03:10,880
Speaker 1: let's just address this. How long we become before we're

896
01:03:10,880 --> 01:03:15,280
Speaker 1: a communist country? Thing? Remember something. I'm gonna put a

897
01:03:15,400 --> 01:03:18,320
Speaker 1: rare sunny face on this thing. Remember something. And this

898
01:03:18,400 --> 01:03:23,400
Speaker 1: is not a small thing. We do have arms, lots

899
01:03:23,400 --> 01:03:26,120
Speaker 1: of arms. No, I don't want you to hurt anybody,

900
01:03:26,200 --> 01:03:31,919
Speaker 1: but they can't really do all the things communists love

901
01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:37,640
Speaker 1: to do while we have those arms. It's not humanly possible. Now,

902
01:03:37,720 --> 01:03:41,200
Speaker 1: let's set the arms aside. Thing. Let's set the arms aside.

903
01:03:41,280 --> 01:03:44,480
Speaker 1: Let's set that aside for a moment. How long do

904
01:03:44,560 --> 01:03:52,760
Speaker 1: we have? Fifty years? I would guess fifty years. But

905
01:03:53,040 --> 01:03:57,320
Speaker 1: the reason I sound hesitant is this, Well, i'll explain

906
01:03:57,400 --> 01:04:22,919
Speaker 1: in just a second. You know that Jake's mint Chew

907
01:04:23,080 --> 01:04:26,760
Speaker 1: was made in the USA. I mean, I talk about

908
01:04:27,720 --> 01:04:31,640
Speaker 1: how great Jake's Mint Chew is for quitting dipping, how

909
01:04:31,680 --> 01:04:35,080
Speaker 1: great it is for quitting smoking. The CBD pouches are

910
01:04:35,160 --> 01:04:38,440
Speaker 1: really helping my listeners who smoke. And I love that stuff,

911
01:04:38,440 --> 01:04:42,080
Speaker 1: and that stuff's important. But how many times have we

912
01:04:42,200 --> 01:04:45,840
Speaker 1: talked about being more purposeful with where we spend our

913
01:04:45,880 --> 01:04:51,240
Speaker 1: dollars and where we don't spend our dollars. Jake's mint Chew.

914
01:04:52,280 --> 01:04:55,520
Speaker 1: Jake's Mint Chew cares enough, not just to produce a

915
01:04:55,600 --> 01:05:00,280
Speaker 1: product that is tobacco free and nicotine free and sugar free,

916
01:05:00,320 --> 01:05:03,400
Speaker 1: a product that is helping people quit dipping tobacco, that

917
01:05:03,560 --> 01:05:06,560
Speaker 1: is helping people quit smoking. They care enough to make

918
01:05:06,600 --> 01:05:10,280
Speaker 1: it here. That's what I mean by being more purposeful.

919
01:05:10,960 --> 01:05:14,240
Speaker 1: Go get some today for yourself or that dipper or

920
01:05:14,320 --> 01:05:17,320
Speaker 1: smoker in your life. Got to Jake's Mint Chew dot

921
01:05:17,320 --> 01:05:20,600
Speaker 1: com us to promo code Jesse I get you twenty

922
01:05:20,600 --> 01:05:44,280
Speaker 1: percent off. It is the world famous Jesse Kelly Show

923
01:05:44,320 --> 01:05:49,760
Speaker 1: with me Jesse the Show Gun Kelly. And we're answering

924
01:05:49,800 --> 01:05:52,560
Speaker 1: all of your questions today and they are good ones.

925
01:05:52,600 --> 01:05:55,280
Speaker 1: How long do we have before we become communist was

926
01:05:55,320 --> 01:06:01,200
Speaker 1: the question? I said, fifty years. The only reason I

927
01:06:01,280 --> 01:06:05,840
Speaker 1: sound unsure of it is this. These things don't always

928
01:06:05,960 --> 01:06:12,080
Speaker 1: happen slowly. They happen whenever there's a huge societal shift.

929
01:06:12,760 --> 01:06:16,400
Speaker 1: Oftentimes it's slowly and slowly and slowly, and then all

930
01:06:16,440 --> 01:06:20,040
Speaker 1: at once. It's not as if it's not as if

931
01:06:20,040 --> 01:06:23,720
Speaker 1: the next twenty years are gonna look anything like the

932
01:06:23,800 --> 01:06:25,800
Speaker 1: last twenty years. That's just not how it works. It

933
01:06:25,800 --> 01:06:30,400
Speaker 1: doesn't work that way at all, O wise history oracle.

934
01:06:31,440 --> 01:06:35,240
Speaker 1: If Britain sides with Germany and World War one one,

935
01:06:35,240 --> 01:06:38,520
Speaker 1: what does the war look like? Well, one, the war

936
01:06:38,600 --> 01:06:42,360
Speaker 1: is over very very soon. There's no way France would

937
01:06:42,360 --> 01:06:45,280
Speaker 1: have been able to stand up against Britain and Germany.

938
01:06:45,320 --> 01:06:49,680
Speaker 1: Remember this, Germany was so absurdly powerful and awesome in

939
01:06:49,760 --> 01:06:54,520
Speaker 1: World War One. They came very close on several occasions

940
01:06:54,560 --> 01:06:59,280
Speaker 1: to flat out winning the war against everyone Britain, France, Russia,

941
01:06:59,680 --> 01:07:02,880
Speaker 1: and Germany. Germany didn't even have any help. They had

942
01:07:02,960 --> 01:07:07,680
Speaker 1: Austria Hungary, who was one hundred percent useless the entire time.

943
01:07:07,920 --> 01:07:11,440
Speaker 1: Germany famously said they were fettered to a corpse because

944
01:07:11,440 --> 01:07:14,440
Speaker 1: they were constantly having to go bail out Austria Hungary.

945
01:07:14,680 --> 01:07:18,680
Speaker 1: Austria Hungry got kicked around by the Serbs. So one

946
01:07:19,200 --> 01:07:23,040
Speaker 1: Germany wins, and wins probably easily. As I've said before,

947
01:07:23,760 --> 01:07:27,680
Speaker 1: you can make the argument it would have been better

948
01:07:27,720 --> 01:07:31,439
Speaker 1: for everyone because then it wouldn't have lasted long. Give

949
01:07:31,480 --> 01:07:35,200
Speaker 1: Germany a quick victory, and then you avoid millions of death,

950
01:07:35,600 --> 01:07:40,200
Speaker 1: and you avoid Adolph Hitler, you avoid the Holocaust. You don't,

951
01:07:40,200 --> 01:07:43,040
Speaker 1: you don't. World War two never happens. If Germany wins

952
01:07:43,040 --> 01:07:47,479
Speaker 1: World War one two, what does Europe look like after

953
01:07:47,520 --> 01:07:53,200
Speaker 1: the war? Well, see, that's the issue. I don't know

954
01:07:53,240 --> 01:07:55,919
Speaker 1: if there is a France anymore, if Germany wins that war,

955
01:07:56,200 --> 01:07:58,960
Speaker 1: depending on how fast they went in. That's part of

956
01:07:58,960 --> 01:08:03,520
Speaker 1: the problem with wars. It's Look, it's like you when

957
01:08:03,520 --> 01:08:05,200
Speaker 1: you have a fight with your with your husband or

958
01:08:05,240 --> 01:08:11,880
Speaker 1: your wife or your girlfriend. The bigger the fight, whoever

959
01:08:12,120 --> 01:08:16,600
Speaker 1: was wrong, the bigger. The helping hand has to be

960
01:08:16,720 --> 01:08:19,599
Speaker 1: at the extended hand has to be after. You know,

961
01:08:19,640 --> 01:08:22,679
Speaker 1: if it's one little tiff, it's no big deal. If

962
01:08:22,720 --> 01:08:27,160
Speaker 1: it's some massive blowout, honey, sorry, we can't afford to

963
01:08:27,439 --> 01:08:29,639
Speaker 1: pay the rent this month, I went out and bought

964
01:08:29,640 --> 01:08:32,759
Speaker 1: a new motorcycle. If it's that kind of thing, buddy,

965
01:08:32,800 --> 01:08:36,960
Speaker 1: it's gonna have to be the apology of apologies. It

966
01:08:36,960 --> 01:08:39,920
Speaker 1: works the same way in war. Historically, part of the

967
01:08:40,000 --> 01:08:43,080
Speaker 1: reason everybody took a pound of flesh out of Germany

968
01:08:43,120 --> 01:08:46,640
Speaker 1: after World War One was the war was so costly

969
01:08:46,720 --> 01:08:53,280
Speaker 1: to everybody. There's so much residual anger there and financial

970
01:08:53,400 --> 01:08:56,360
Speaker 1: loss and pain that you want to take it out

971
01:08:56,400 --> 01:08:58,400
Speaker 1: on someone, and you take it out on the loser.

972
01:08:59,560 --> 01:09:03,840
Speaker 1: France may no longer be in existence after the war. Three.

973
01:09:04,160 --> 01:09:06,479
Speaker 1: The last question was what does the world look like

974
01:09:06,520 --> 01:09:12,320
Speaker 1: in twenty twenty one? World is, in my opinion, probably

975
01:09:12,320 --> 01:09:18,080
Speaker 1: a much better place because I don't think America becomes

976
01:09:18,120 --> 01:09:23,800
Speaker 1: an interventionist country. Remember, people forget this. Before World War One,

977
01:09:24,560 --> 01:09:29,920
Speaker 1: America was absurdly non interventionist. That's what we were founded on.

978
01:09:30,040 --> 01:09:35,280
Speaker 1: Go read George Washington's Farewell Address when he even warns

979
01:09:35,320 --> 01:09:37,759
Speaker 1: in there, we'll look, we don't get involved in Europe's wars.

980
01:09:37,880 --> 01:09:41,160
Speaker 1: We trade with everyone. We don't have large standing armies

981
01:09:41,160 --> 01:09:43,639
Speaker 1: in this country. We don't get involved in your wars.

982
01:09:43,720 --> 01:09:45,920
Speaker 1: We're always gonna have a strong navy. That was something

983
01:09:45,960 --> 01:09:48,200
Speaker 1: we always wanted because of our oceans. But we just

984
01:09:48,320 --> 01:09:51,200
Speaker 1: we don't do this war all the time thing. And

985
01:09:51,640 --> 01:09:55,400
Speaker 1: it was almost impossible for Woodrow Wilson to drag us

986
01:09:55,400 --> 01:09:57,800
Speaker 1: into that war, even though he wanted to. Americans were

987
01:09:57,840 --> 01:10:01,280
Speaker 1: just simply dead set against it. And Americans were dead

988
01:10:01,320 --> 01:10:04,040
Speaker 1: set against World War Two. We didn't want to go.

989
01:10:04,120 --> 01:10:06,120
Speaker 1: We know we're out where we were. I mean, I

990
01:10:06,200 --> 01:10:08,920
Speaker 1: don't know that we would have ever gone until the idiot.

991
01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:12,320
Speaker 1: Japanese bombed US in Pearl Harbor and then Germany twice

992
01:10:12,320 --> 01:10:15,720
Speaker 1: as dumb Declaire's war when they didn't have to. And no,

993
01:10:15,880 --> 01:10:18,680
Speaker 1: by the way, they didn't have to. People can say,

994
01:10:18,720 --> 01:10:21,280
Speaker 1: well they were an ally of Japan. They were, but

995
01:10:21,479 --> 01:10:23,840
Speaker 1: we would not have messed with Germany. We would have

996
01:10:23,880 --> 01:10:27,200
Speaker 1: focused all our efforts on Japan. We didn't like Hitler,

997
01:10:27,240 --> 01:10:29,839
Speaker 1: but we weren't. There was no support in the American

998
01:10:29,880 --> 01:10:31,960
Speaker 1: public for going to war with them. But then Hitler

999
01:10:32,040 --> 01:10:33,679
Speaker 1: just up at de Claire's war on us, and it's

1000
01:10:33,760 --> 01:10:38,120
Speaker 1: why I guess it's on. Then that wasn't smart. I

1001
01:10:38,160 --> 01:10:40,120
Speaker 1: think the world's a much different and much better place,

1002
01:10:40,160 --> 01:10:43,200
Speaker 1: to be honest with you, that whole, that whole mess

1003
01:10:43,200 --> 01:10:45,160
Speaker 1: of World War One. People disagree with me all the time,

1004
01:10:45,160 --> 01:10:47,960
Speaker 1: and that's fine. It's just purely an opinion. I mean,

1005
01:10:48,040 --> 01:10:50,960
Speaker 1: most of what I say is fact, Chris, but this

1006
01:10:51,080 --> 01:10:53,479
Speaker 1: is purely an opinion. I say World War One was

1007
01:10:53,600 --> 01:10:57,560
Speaker 1: more consequential than World War Two when it comes to

1008
01:10:57,640 --> 01:11:00,360
Speaker 1: how much it reset the globe. And part of that

1009
01:11:00,479 --> 01:11:02,479
Speaker 1: is there is no World War two without World War One.

1010
01:11:04,640 --> 01:11:09,360
Speaker 1: Dear doctor Mega mind Jesse, what Chris, who would win

1011
01:11:09,400 --> 01:11:13,240
Speaker 1: in a fight a dozen medieval pikemen with the best armored,

1012
01:11:13,320 --> 01:11:16,920
Speaker 1: training and equipment of their day, or a fully grown

1013
01:11:17,040 --> 01:11:21,040
Speaker 1: t rex. Both sides know that it is to the

1014
01:11:21,080 --> 01:11:25,040
Speaker 1: death and will not run away. The pikemen have been

1015
01:11:25,040 --> 01:11:29,120
Speaker 1: training together, so they have superb teamwork and communication. Nobody

1016
01:11:29,240 --> 01:11:31,679
Speaker 1: is going to get sick or have any problems related

1017
01:11:31,680 --> 01:11:38,160
Speaker 1: to different atmospheric conditions. This is from WM all right,

1018
01:11:42,800 --> 01:11:45,960
Speaker 1: I think the t rex still wins. I think the

1019
01:11:45,960 --> 01:11:48,160
Speaker 1: t rex still wins. You're shaking your head, Chris. But

1020
01:11:48,240 --> 01:11:51,479
Speaker 1: here's the thing. If you were. The t rex is

1021
01:11:51,479 --> 01:11:55,840
Speaker 1: an animal, right, He's an animal. You pikemen are not

1022
01:11:56,640 --> 01:12:03,000
Speaker 1: organized or not. You must absolutely must penetrate either the

1023
01:12:03,080 --> 01:12:06,879
Speaker 1: t rex's brain or his heart with one of those pikes.

1024
01:12:08,200 --> 01:12:12,479
Speaker 1: How in the world, or even only a dozen of you,

1025
01:12:12,479 --> 01:12:15,599
Speaker 1: You're never getting to the heart without getting bitten. And look,

1026
01:12:15,640 --> 01:12:20,080
Speaker 1: you can say best armor, it's not as if look

1027
01:12:20,080 --> 01:12:22,799
Speaker 1: at don't shake your head, Chris. I know t rex.

1028
01:12:22,840 --> 01:12:26,080
Speaker 1: I've got extensive experience fighting t rexes, and I'm telling

1029
01:12:26,120 --> 01:12:29,080
Speaker 1: you what armor. What difference does the armory make? He's

1030
01:12:29,080 --> 01:12:31,400
Speaker 1: just gonna crush you inside of it anyway. In fact,

1031
01:12:31,400 --> 01:12:39,599
Speaker 1: his teeth are gonna go right through what Chris, You're

1032
01:12:39,640 --> 01:12:43,040
Speaker 1: so absurd. I've seen Durastic Park a dozen times. I

1033
01:12:43,120 --> 01:12:45,920
Speaker 1: know how this goes. The t rex is going to

1034
01:12:46,040 --> 01:12:48,920
Speaker 1: just simply bite them one at a time and it's over.

1035
01:12:49,320 --> 01:12:51,920
Speaker 1: It's over. And the pikemen organized or not, are going

1036
01:12:51,960 --> 01:12:54,280
Speaker 1: to be stabbing at the t rex. Oh no, I

1037
01:12:54,360 --> 01:12:57,519
Speaker 1: got his knee. But they're going to be scared because

1038
01:12:57,520 --> 01:13:00,000
Speaker 1: it's a t rex and you're not going to actually

1039
01:13:00,280 --> 01:13:03,280
Speaker 1: do anything but make it angry. There's a chance, I

1040
01:13:03,320 --> 01:13:05,840
Speaker 1: guess you could. And remember, this is a t Rex.

1041
01:13:06,000 --> 01:13:08,719
Speaker 1: I'm assuming they fought Oh what am I saying? I'm assuming,

1042
01:13:08,720 --> 01:13:10,720
Speaker 1: of course. I know this to be a fact. They

1043
01:13:10,840 --> 01:13:13,639
Speaker 1: fought other t rexes all the time, so they've got

1044
01:13:13,680 --> 01:13:17,599
Speaker 1: some skin that's made to handle some punishment. Here. No way,

1045
01:13:17,840 --> 01:13:20,040
Speaker 1: there's no way you're getting into the heart of that

1046
01:13:20,080 --> 01:13:22,320
Speaker 1: t rex without him killing all of them. And how

1047
01:13:22,479 --> 01:13:25,640
Speaker 1: sweet would that be? Now? I want to see it, now,

1048
01:13:25,720 --> 01:13:31,800
Speaker 1: I want to see it, Chris, Dear showgun, I love

1049
01:13:31,880 --> 01:13:37,559
Speaker 1: this one. I need your blue collar expertise. Been a

1050
01:13:37,600 --> 01:13:40,920
Speaker 1: working man, my day to day task. Being a working man,

1051
01:13:40,960 --> 01:13:42,680
Speaker 1: it's eased for me to say my day to day

1052
01:13:42,680 --> 01:13:46,000
Speaker 1: task can often be repetitive and uneventful. My wife asked

1053
01:13:46,040 --> 01:13:48,040
Speaker 1: me yesterday how I can enjoy the job. How I

1054
01:13:48,040 --> 01:13:50,519
Speaker 1: can enjoy the job. I told her, I don't mind

1055
01:13:50,520 --> 01:13:52,559
Speaker 1: the work, and I actually enjoy it because my co

1056
01:13:52,680 --> 01:13:55,320
Speaker 1: workers and I make fun of each other. In fact,

1057
01:13:55,760 --> 01:13:59,400
Speaker 1: the harder the work gets, the more insults come, almost

1058
01:13:59,479 --> 01:14:04,479
Speaker 1: like a cope mechanism. She was incredulous and thought making

1059
01:14:04,520 --> 01:14:07,640
Speaker 1: fun of your co workers is unprofessional. I told her

1060
01:14:07,680 --> 01:14:10,000
Speaker 1: it's hilarious and it's how men talk to each other.

1061
01:14:10,080 --> 01:14:13,960
Speaker 1: She still doesn't understand, so I made her watch Grand Torino,

1062
01:14:14,120 --> 01:14:17,000
Speaker 1: where Clint Eastwood teaches the boys how to talk to men.

1063
01:14:17,320 --> 01:14:19,840
Speaker 1: She still cannot see the light. So I'm asking the

1064
01:14:19,880 --> 01:14:23,200
Speaker 1: most able man I know to do what Clint Eastwood

1065
01:14:23,280 --> 01:14:27,920
Speaker 1: himself cannot. Please explain why men like to make fun

1066
01:14:27,960 --> 01:14:31,080
Speaker 1: of each other. If you read my question, I'll have

1067
01:14:31,240 --> 01:14:34,479
Speaker 1: the old lady listen. Keep up the good work. Jay

1068
01:14:34,720 --> 01:14:38,519
Speaker 1: Eastwood Kelly, and he says I can read his name.

1069
01:14:38,520 --> 01:14:40,800
Speaker 1: His name is a Steer from Minnesota. Do you want

1070
01:14:40,800 --> 01:14:43,000
Speaker 1: to know? You want to know the reason. You want

1071
01:14:43,000 --> 01:14:45,200
Speaker 1: to know why men rip on each other when they

1072
01:14:45,240 --> 01:15:10,240
Speaker 1: like each other. I'll explain. In a second, mistous catch

1073
01:15:10,320 --> 01:15:18,439
Speaker 1: up Jesse kellyshow dot com. Hi, We're the Google Dolls.

1074
01:15:18,640 --> 01:15:21,120
Speaker 1: We're fortunate that we can give our daughters everything they

1075
01:15:21,160 --> 01:15:23,519
Speaker 1: need to grow and learn, but not every child can

1076
01:15:23,520 --> 01:15:27,280
Speaker 1: focus on classes and play dates. Nearly thirteen million kids

1077
01:15:27,280 --> 01:15:31,040
Speaker 1: in the US face hunger. That's one in six. School

1078
01:15:31,120 --> 01:15:33,400
Speaker 1: lunching might be their only meal each day, and it's

1079
01:15:33,439 --> 01:15:36,840
Speaker 1: heartbreaking to imagine any child going to bed hungry. We're

1080
01:15:36,920 --> 01:15:40,439
Speaker 1: dreaming but perfect day when kids can smile, play and

1081
01:15:40,560 --> 01:15:43,320
Speaker 1: just be kids without worrying about whether next meal will

1082
01:15:43,360 --> 01:15:46,599
Speaker 1: come from Feeding America is working to make that perfect

1083
01:15:46,680 --> 01:15:49,880
Speaker 1: day reality. Each year, the Feeding America network of food

1084
01:15:49,880 --> 01:15:52,519
Speaker 1: banks rescues billions of pounds of good food that would

1085
01:15:52,520 --> 01:15:55,040
Speaker 1: have gone to waste. That food is given to families

1086
01:15:55,040 --> 01:15:57,639
Speaker 1: and children and me. Being a kid should be about

1087
01:15:57,720 --> 01:16:00,880
Speaker 1: doing things that make an ordinary day extraordinary. Learning to

1088
01:16:00,880 --> 01:16:05,160
Speaker 1: play an instrument, building a sandcastle, hosting tea parties. Hunger

1089
01:16:05,240 --> 01:16:07,840
Speaker 1: should never be an obstacle to growing up. You can

1090
01:16:07,840 --> 01:16:10,400
Speaker 1: help ben child and hunger in your community by visiting

1091
01:16:10,479 --> 01:16:14,320
Speaker 1: Feeding America. Died organ brought to you by Feeding America

1092
01:16:14,479 --> 01:16:39,760
Speaker 1: and the AD Council. Jeff Missus Adrian from Raleigh. I

1093
01:16:39,840 --> 01:16:41,960
Speaker 1: know I'm putting my life on the line here, but

1094
01:16:42,120 --> 01:16:46,400
Speaker 1: I want to set everybody's mind at ease when it

1095
01:16:46,479 --> 01:16:51,719
Speaker 1: comes to the myth or the reality of Jewish producer Chris.

1096
01:16:52,280 --> 01:16:57,360
Speaker 1: On your podcast from April nineteenth, at the hour of

1097
01:16:57,600 --> 01:17:02,120
Speaker 1: one hour forty three minutes, in between fifty two and

1098
01:17:02,280 --> 01:17:05,839
Speaker 1: fifty three seconds, for about a tenth of a second,

1099
01:17:06,360 --> 01:17:13,400
Speaker 1: you actually hear Jewish producers Kristen's voice. He is real.

1100
01:17:13,760 --> 01:17:17,439
Speaker 1: He is not bigfoot. And I know I'm putting my

1101
01:17:17,479 --> 01:17:19,559
Speaker 1: life on the line for this one. I could be

1102
01:17:19,640 --> 01:17:23,240
Speaker 1: taken out, but for the masses, I'm doing this for

1103
01:17:23,400 --> 01:17:29,200
Speaker 1: the people. Everybody. Jewish producer Chris is really, y'all, He's real.

1104
01:17:29,600 --> 01:17:36,160
Speaker 1: I heard it. It is the Jesse Kelly Show eight

1105
01:17:36,280 --> 01:17:40,599
Speaker 1: seven seven three seven seven four three seven three Jesse

1106
01:17:40,840 --> 01:17:44,479
Speaker 1: at Jesse Kelly show dot com. Yes, you can leave

1107
01:17:44,600 --> 01:17:47,839
Speaker 1: us voicemails. We will play them on the air. Allow

1108
01:17:47,880 --> 01:17:51,440
Speaker 1: me to caution you though, if you leave us a voicemail,

1109
01:17:51,920 --> 01:17:54,040
Speaker 1: there's a good chance I am going to play it

1110
01:17:54,160 --> 01:17:56,519
Speaker 1: in the United States of America is going to hear

1111
01:17:56,560 --> 01:18:00,439
Speaker 1: your voice. That doesn't look I'm not saying that, So

1112
01:18:00,800 --> 01:18:03,240
Speaker 1: like you don't cuss. I mean, we prefer you don't cuss.

1113
01:18:03,280 --> 01:18:04,600
Speaker 1: I can't play that on the air. We have to

1114
01:18:04,640 --> 01:18:06,479
Speaker 1: go through and edit it and beep them out and

1115
01:18:06,720 --> 01:18:09,360
Speaker 1: say whatever you want, but just don't leave me a

1116
01:18:09,439 --> 01:18:12,000
Speaker 1: voicemail and then be shocked and horrified when the whole

1117
01:18:12,040 --> 01:18:18,519
Speaker 1: country here's your voice, all right? The question was why

1118
01:18:18,560 --> 01:18:22,320
Speaker 1: do men love to give each other grief and dog

1119
01:18:22,400 --> 01:18:25,559
Speaker 1: on each other? Why do they do that when they're friends?

1120
01:18:26,920 --> 01:18:33,120
Speaker 1: This is why men are born for certain things. Women

1121
01:18:33,120 --> 01:18:35,360
Speaker 1: are born for certain things. And no, we're not born

1122
01:18:35,400 --> 01:18:39,559
Speaker 1: for the same thing. Men and women are different. Women

1123
01:18:39,600 --> 01:18:42,400
Speaker 1: are great at some things, terrible at some things. Men

1124
01:18:42,439 --> 01:18:44,840
Speaker 1: are the same, great at some things, terrible at some things.

1125
01:18:45,720 --> 01:18:50,639
Speaker 1: The reason men are physically stronger than women bigger shoulders,

1126
01:18:50,680 --> 01:18:54,720
Speaker 1: bigger hips, more muscle mass, more lung capacity, more everything.

1127
01:18:55,120 --> 01:18:59,600
Speaker 1: The reason men are more physically capable than women is

1128
01:18:59,640 --> 01:19:05,240
Speaker 1: because as God made men to be the protectors of society.

1129
01:19:05,320 --> 01:19:07,400
Speaker 1: That is, I don't care who. I don't care if

1130
01:19:07,439 --> 01:19:11,559
Speaker 1: you're some it nerd with the thickest glasses in the

1131
01:19:11,600 --> 01:19:15,160
Speaker 1: world and you play with g I Joe's still at night,

1132
01:19:15,160 --> 01:19:17,960
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter to me. I don't care. As a man,

1133
01:19:18,960 --> 01:19:22,640
Speaker 1: that is something you're born into It's part of you.

1134
01:19:23,080 --> 01:19:26,640
Speaker 1: It is part of you universally. There's no exception to this.

1135
01:19:27,240 --> 01:19:32,400
Speaker 1: And because it is universal, men like to test the

1136
01:19:32,520 --> 01:19:38,479
Speaker 1: strength of their fellow men. That's part of it. That

1137
01:19:38,720 --> 01:19:42,320
Speaker 1: is why you'll see that giving another guy guph is

1138
01:19:42,360 --> 01:19:46,720
Speaker 1: even more prevalent in firehouses, like we talked about the military,

1139
01:19:47,240 --> 01:19:49,080
Speaker 1: really prevalent in the military. You can't believe what we

1140
01:19:49,120 --> 01:19:51,960
Speaker 1: said to each other in the Marine Corps. Police do

1141
01:19:52,000 --> 01:19:55,240
Speaker 1: this all the time. Construction workers are work construction all

1142
01:19:55,280 --> 01:19:58,639
Speaker 1: the time. Do this to each other. More physical jobs,

1143
01:19:58,920 --> 01:20:02,599
Speaker 1: you'll see this even more. It is a way of

1144
01:20:02,840 --> 01:20:08,640
Speaker 1: testing each other, probing for weakness and weeding out weakness.

1145
01:20:09,000 --> 01:20:14,000
Speaker 1: I say absolutely horrible things to my friends and people

1146
01:20:14,040 --> 01:20:17,360
Speaker 1: I like terrible things. I do this one because it's funny.

1147
01:20:17,439 --> 01:20:21,080
Speaker 1: We all laugh about it too. I want to know

1148
01:20:21,120 --> 01:20:23,679
Speaker 1: if you can handle it or if you can't. It's

1149
01:20:23,720 --> 01:20:27,720
Speaker 1: a way of pruning my friend tree off. If you

1150
01:20:27,800 --> 01:20:31,400
Speaker 1: can't doesn't mean you're a bad person, means we're not

1151
01:20:31,479 --> 01:20:34,200
Speaker 1: going to be friends. If I can't give you crap,

1152
01:20:34,680 --> 01:20:37,599
Speaker 1: we're not going to be friends. It is how men

1153
01:20:37,680 --> 01:20:42,320
Speaker 1: deal with each other. That may sound primitive, but human

1154
01:20:42,439 --> 01:20:46,200
Speaker 1: nature does not change Men like to give their friends

1155
01:20:46,280 --> 01:20:50,920
Speaker 1: crap because it's hilarious, and because they're probing for weakness

1156
01:20:51,439 --> 01:20:57,519
Speaker 1: and making sure there is none, and because it horrifies women.

1157
01:21:00,320 --> 01:21:03,160
Speaker 1: There's a hilarious online I think it's a I think

1158
01:21:03,160 --> 01:21:04,639
Speaker 1: it's a meme. I don't know what it is. It's

1159
01:21:04,640 --> 01:21:09,679
Speaker 1: a hilarious online meme that shows it says the title

1160
01:21:09,720 --> 01:21:12,080
Speaker 1: of and on the top is the difference between men

1161
01:21:12,120 --> 01:21:16,240
Speaker 1: and women. And some dude is saying goodbye to his friends,

1162
01:21:16,640 --> 01:21:20,760
Speaker 1: and they're they're saying, damn, oh see a jerk, a loser, see,

1163
01:21:20,760 --> 01:21:23,320
Speaker 1: and then you're such an idiot. And then the second

1164
01:21:23,320 --> 01:21:25,559
Speaker 1: the friend walks away, they turn to each other like, man,

1165
01:21:25,640 --> 01:21:28,360
Speaker 1: he's such a great dude. I love that guy. And

1166
01:21:28,400 --> 01:21:30,240
Speaker 1: then it goes down to the women, and the women

1167
01:21:30,280 --> 01:21:32,960
Speaker 1: are saying goodbye to their finis. I love you so much,

1168
01:21:33,000 --> 01:21:35,519
Speaker 1: I'll don't go. When can we get together again? You're

1169
01:21:35,560 --> 01:21:37,720
Speaker 1: the best. And then the second she walks away, they

1170
01:21:37,760 --> 01:21:39,920
Speaker 1: start bad talking her. Can you believe how much makeup

1171
01:21:40,000 --> 01:21:44,080
Speaker 1: she's wearing. Look at that dress. It's funny because it's

1172
01:21:44,080 --> 01:21:47,200
Speaker 1: one hundred percent true and everybody knows it. Like I

1173
01:21:47,320 --> 01:21:51,240
Speaker 1: told people, I'm a bit more quiet, but I'm not

1174
01:21:51,320 --> 01:21:55,479
Speaker 1: on the air. I'm just not not in not somebody

1175
01:21:55,479 --> 01:21:58,000
Speaker 1: who likes to talk a lot. Not shy by any

1176
01:21:58,040 --> 01:22:00,439
Speaker 1: stretch of the imagination, as you can imagine. But if

1177
01:22:00,479 --> 01:22:03,639
Speaker 1: you see me at an event or a party, I'm

1178
01:22:03,760 --> 01:22:06,280
Speaker 1: rarely the guy out there doing all the talking. I'd

1179
01:22:06,360 --> 01:22:08,679
Speaker 1: rather listen and watch. I want to observe. I find

1180
01:22:08,760 --> 01:22:12,439
Speaker 1: human nature fascinating. That's just that's how I do it,

1181
01:22:12,520 --> 01:22:19,719
Speaker 1: so I've always done it. But if I'm not giving

1182
01:22:19,760 --> 01:22:23,120
Speaker 1: you guff as a dude, it's because I either A

1183
01:22:23,280 --> 01:22:26,080
Speaker 1: don't know you or B don't like you. If I

1184
01:22:26,240 --> 01:22:29,479
Speaker 1: know you and I'm not giving you guff, I don't

1185
01:22:29,479 --> 01:22:33,120
Speaker 1: like you. So there the ultimate test for you, doctor

1186
01:22:33,320 --> 01:22:38,320
Speaker 1: j Doctor Steele, Jesse Steele. Two steels in there. Chris

1187
01:22:38,680 --> 01:22:42,320
Speaker 1: Washington didn't retreat forever. Eventually he stood and fought and

1188
01:22:42,320 --> 01:22:45,320
Speaker 1: took back the ground he lost. How is this defensive

1189
01:22:45,400 --> 01:22:48,680
Speaker 1: seeding ground strategy not doomed to failure when we run

1190
01:22:48,720 --> 01:22:52,280
Speaker 1: out of ground to ground to seed. I have an

1191
01:22:52,320 --> 01:23:10,120
Speaker 1: answer for this question coming up next. Hey Dad, your

1192
01:23:10,120 --> 01:23:13,360
Speaker 1: prescription will be ready in just a minute. Hey Dad,

1193
01:23:13,560 --> 01:23:17,240
Speaker 1: your laundry will be ready in just a minute. Dad,

1194
01:23:17,560 --> 01:23:20,759
Speaker 1: your lunch will be ready in just a minute. Hey, honey,

1195
01:23:21,360 --> 01:23:25,599
Speaker 1: why don't you take a minute. When you help care

1196
01:23:25,640 --> 01:23:27,920
Speaker 1: for a loved one, you give them as much time

1197
01:23:27,960 --> 01:23:31,160
Speaker 1: as you can, making sure they're safe and comfortable. But

1198
01:23:31,439 --> 01:23:34,120
Speaker 1: it's just as important that you take some time for yourself.

1199
01:23:34,640 --> 01:23:37,960
Speaker 1: At AARP, we can help with information and useful tips

1200
01:23:38,000 --> 01:23:40,519
Speaker 1: on how you can maintain a healthy life, balance, care

1201
01:23:40,560 --> 01:23:43,120
Speaker 1: for your own physical and mental well being, and manage

1202
01:23:43,120 --> 01:23:45,760
Speaker 1: the challenges of caring for a loved one. Because the

1203
01:23:45,840 --> 01:23:48,120
Speaker 1: better care you take of yourself, the better care you

1204
01:23:48,120 --> 01:23:51,880
Speaker 1: can provide for your loved one. Thanks Dad, Thank you.

1205
01:23:52,520 --> 01:23:55,559
Speaker 1: You're there for them. We're here for you. Find free

1206
01:23:55,600 --> 01:23:57,720
Speaker 1: care guides to support you and your loved one at

1207
01:23:57,760 --> 01:24:01,360
Speaker 1: AARP dot org slash care getting. That's AARP dot org

1208
01:24:01,560 --> 01:24:04,639
Speaker 1: slash caregiving. A public service announcement brought to you by

1209
01:24:04,720 --> 01:24:29,280
Speaker 1: AARP and the Council. It is the Jesse Kelly Show

1210
01:24:29,560 --> 01:24:33,080
Speaker 1: eight seven seven three seven seven four three seven three

1211
01:24:33,680 --> 01:24:36,920
Speaker 1: Jesse at Jesse Kelly show dot com. We have another

1212
01:24:37,040 --> 01:24:40,680
Speaker 1: hour left with no guests and your questions and they

1213
01:24:40,720 --> 01:24:45,280
Speaker 1: are good ones. We have a strategy for if China invades.

1214
01:24:45,920 --> 01:24:50,479
Speaker 1: Somebody is defending his home state of Mississippi. We have

1215
01:24:50,760 --> 01:24:55,360
Speaker 1: a question about Fredo's. It's going to get very, very heavy,

1216
01:24:55,400 --> 01:24:58,600
Speaker 1: as you can see in this last hour. It is

1217
01:24:58,600 --> 01:25:01,080
Speaker 1: the Jesse Kelly Show. Remember if you missed our history

1218
01:25:01,160 --> 01:25:04,320
Speaker 1: story at the beginning, a great ancient Roman story about

1219
01:25:04,360 --> 01:25:08,320
Speaker 1: Crassus and the Parthians. You can find it on iHeart,

1220
01:25:08,400 --> 01:25:13,240
Speaker 1: Google and Spotify and iTunes. Right after the show on iTunes,

1221
01:25:13,360 --> 01:25:16,160
Speaker 1: leave a five star rating, Leave of you talking about

1222
01:25:16,200 --> 01:26:06,439
Speaker 1: how handsome I am. Hang on the Jesse Kelly Show.

1223
01:26:18,000 --> 01:26:26,800
Speaker 1: This is a Jesse Kelly show. That twenty one year

1224
01:26:26,840 --> 01:26:30,799
Speaker 1: old pimp, that twenty one year old pimp, that twenty

1225
01:26:30,800 --> 01:26:33,719
Speaker 1: one year old trafficker who is not yet a convicted felon,

1226
01:26:34,640 --> 01:26:37,000
Speaker 1: roll on into any place you want, buy gun, into

1227
01:26:37,040 --> 01:26:39,160
Speaker 1: the provision, and walk around in whatever way you want,

1228
01:26:40,000 --> 01:26:46,680
Speaker 1: no training, no understanding, wild West pimp style. That's what

1229
01:26:46,760 --> 01:26:50,080
Speaker 1: this bill does. And then that pimp can roll into

1230
01:26:50,160 --> 01:26:53,479
Speaker 1: whatever small businesses in your community with their stable of girls,

1231
01:26:53,960 --> 01:27:01,040
Speaker 1: and they could flaun it wild West pimp style. What

1232
01:27:01,280 --> 01:27:05,200
Speaker 1: in the world that was a Texas Democrat arguing against

1233
01:27:05,800 --> 01:27:12,200
Speaker 1: Conville wild westpimp style with their stable of girls. I'm

1234
01:27:12,280 --> 01:27:17,200
Speaker 1: so confused, Chris, Chris, you not throw away that audio.

1235
01:27:17,320 --> 01:27:19,479
Speaker 1: You're gonna have to hang onto that one. You know what,

1236
01:27:19,640 --> 01:27:22,880
Speaker 1: all I think I need from now on? It's wild

1237
01:27:22,920 --> 01:27:29,280
Speaker 1: westpimp style. But that's one staying with the show. It

1238
01:27:29,360 --> 01:27:32,599
Speaker 1: is the Jesse Kelly Show eight seven seven three seven

1239
01:27:32,720 --> 01:27:36,840
Speaker 1: seven four three seven three Jesse at Jesse Kelly Show

1240
01:27:36,880 --> 01:27:41,559
Speaker 1: dot com. The email is this, Doctor Steele. Jesse Steele,

1241
01:27:42,120 --> 01:27:45,920
Speaker 1: Washington didn't retreat forever. Eventually he stood and fought and

1242
01:27:45,960 --> 01:27:49,240
Speaker 1: took back the ground he lost. How is this defensive

1243
01:27:49,280 --> 01:27:52,400
Speaker 1: seating ground strategy not doomed to failure when we run

1244
01:27:52,439 --> 01:27:56,960
Speaker 1: out of ground a seat? They believe communism can only

1245
01:27:57,000 --> 01:27:59,400
Speaker 1: work if literally everyone on the planet lives under it.

1246
01:28:00,160 --> 01:28:03,200
Speaker 1: Never going to stop advancing divorce or not? When do

1247
01:28:03,240 --> 01:28:06,679
Speaker 1: we stop retreating? As an aside, I've lived in San

1248
01:28:06,680 --> 01:28:09,920
Speaker 1: Diego my entire life. I have no intention of surrendering

1249
01:28:09,960 --> 01:28:15,880
Speaker 1: my home the communist interlopers one. That's why you wrote

1250
01:28:15,880 --> 01:28:20,000
Speaker 1: me that email, because you live in what, honestly it

1251
01:28:20,120 --> 01:28:23,679
Speaker 1: might be the best city in the country. If you've

1252
01:28:23,720 --> 01:28:26,320
Speaker 1: never been to San Diego, I mean, obviously they've ruined

1253
01:28:26,320 --> 01:28:29,000
Speaker 1: it like they ruined everywhere else in California is dreadful,

1254
01:28:29,360 --> 01:28:33,080
Speaker 1: But San Diego is so awesome and the weather's perfect.

1255
01:28:33,400 --> 01:28:37,120
Speaker 1: It's just it's an awesome place and you don't want

1256
01:28:37,120 --> 01:28:41,080
Speaker 1: to give it up. And I get that one hundred percent.

1257
01:28:41,840 --> 01:28:44,920
Speaker 1: But to answer your question, when do we stop seeding ground?

1258
01:28:46,240 --> 01:28:53,320
Speaker 1: You're not seeding ground. You're choosing your own battlefield. I

1259
01:28:53,360 --> 01:28:59,000
Speaker 1: didn't say balkanized moved to a red state and go

1260
01:28:59,200 --> 01:29:03,759
Speaker 1: watch television. I said, balkan eyes moved to a red state,

1261
01:29:03,800 --> 01:29:07,759
Speaker 1: a red area, and get active to make it redder.

1262
01:29:08,360 --> 01:29:11,479
Speaker 1: We are not giving up ground because we're done with

1263
01:29:11,520 --> 01:29:14,439
Speaker 1: all of it. We're giving up ground because we need

1264
01:29:14,600 --> 01:29:19,360
Speaker 1: some sort of fortified position right now. We don't have that.

1265
01:29:19,720 --> 01:29:24,320
Speaker 1: Right now. We've lost everything and there's no indication zero

1266
01:29:24,880 --> 01:29:28,280
Speaker 1: that we're about to start making gains and taking those

1267
01:29:28,320 --> 01:29:33,240
Speaker 1: things back. None. You love San Diego, man, You should

1268
01:29:33,280 --> 01:29:39,720
Speaker 1: love San Diego. San Diego sweet, But San Diego's gone, man.

1269
01:29:41,720 --> 01:29:45,960
Speaker 1: San Francisco. San Francisco is another city that thirty years ago,

1270
01:29:46,000 --> 01:29:49,960
Speaker 1: maybe twenty years ago, maybe one of the coolest cities

1271
01:29:49,960 --> 01:29:52,720
Speaker 1: in the United States of America. Not flat at all.

1272
01:29:52,720 --> 01:29:54,960
Speaker 1: It's got these hills all through It kind of makes

1273
01:29:54,960 --> 01:29:57,840
Speaker 1: it unique. You have to watch driving in San Francisco.

1274
01:29:57,960 --> 01:30:02,040
Speaker 1: Some places, cool restaurants right on the water, Golden Gate Bridge,

1275
01:30:04,000 --> 01:30:06,320
Speaker 1: they have poop running down the sidewalks. Now I'm not

1276
01:30:06,360 --> 01:30:08,639
Speaker 1: making that up. There are actually apps you can get

1277
01:30:08,640 --> 01:30:11,040
Speaker 1: on your phone so you can walk and avoid the poop.

1278
01:30:11,240 --> 01:30:16,720
Speaker 1: In Heroin Needles, a place is gone. It's just not

1279
01:30:16,760 --> 01:30:21,360
Speaker 1: there anymore. So what we need is we need you.

1280
01:30:21,360 --> 01:30:25,320
Speaker 1: You are the reinforcements. We need you to come to

1281
01:30:25,400 --> 01:30:29,080
Speaker 1: a place that isn't gone so we can fortify it

1282
01:30:29,120 --> 01:30:31,800
Speaker 1: and make sure the Commies can't take it. That's what

1283
01:30:31,840 --> 01:30:35,920
Speaker 1: we need. You're not retreating. You're going to give people

1284
01:30:35,920 --> 01:30:40,240
Speaker 1: who are your allies reinforcements and they need them. You're

1285
01:30:40,280 --> 01:30:43,760
Speaker 1: not doing me any good stuck in San Diego. Now,

1286
01:30:43,760 --> 01:30:45,800
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about you personally. Man. Maybe you can't move,

1287
01:30:45,840 --> 01:30:48,120
Speaker 1: stay there, it doesn't matter, but you're not doing me

1288
01:30:48,200 --> 01:30:51,920
Speaker 1: any good hypothetically staying in San Diego. You're doing me

1289
01:30:52,120 --> 01:30:55,360
Speaker 1: good moving to where I live in the suburbs of

1290
01:30:55,400 --> 01:30:58,920
Speaker 1: Texas and making dang sure it's not only red but

1291
01:30:59,040 --> 01:31:02,120
Speaker 1: stays red so the Commies don't move here and flip it.

1292
01:31:03,560 --> 01:31:06,559
Speaker 1: That said, you're not wrong. They're never going to just

1293
01:31:06,680 --> 01:31:10,040
Speaker 1: look at us and say we'll let them go. I'm

1294
01:31:10,040 --> 01:31:12,040
Speaker 1: just gonna have to let them know they can't take us.

1295
01:31:13,840 --> 01:31:19,679
Speaker 1: Dear doctor J Steele, Kelly, it's two Quit shaking your head, Chris.

1296
01:31:19,760 --> 01:31:23,040
Speaker 1: This is my name, all right, that's my name from

1297
01:31:23,040 --> 01:31:27,200
Speaker 1: now on. It's the J. Steele Show. It's two am

1298
01:31:27,280 --> 01:31:30,599
Speaker 1: tomorrow and your phone is erupted with information telling you

1299
01:31:30,680 --> 01:31:34,599
Speaker 1: China has attacked the United States. You can't get any

1300
01:31:34,640 --> 01:31:38,639
Speaker 1: dependable reception, but it appears they've attacked every major port

1301
01:31:39,040 --> 01:31:42,080
Speaker 1: and many power plants all at once. You realize it

1302
01:31:42,200 --> 01:31:44,639
Speaker 1: is on. What do you do? How do you think

1303
01:31:44,680 --> 01:31:50,400
Speaker 1: society will react? Well, the ports we would be able

1304
01:31:50,439 --> 01:31:54,200
Speaker 1: to withstand, probably better than we could the power plants.

1305
01:31:54,960 --> 01:31:56,960
Speaker 1: I don't know if you've ever been in a situation

1306
01:31:57,000 --> 01:32:00,840
Speaker 1: where your area lost power. And I don't mean you

1307
01:32:00,880 --> 01:32:03,200
Speaker 1: had your power went out for a half hour and

1308
01:32:03,240 --> 01:32:05,200
Speaker 1: you had to go get a flashlight and read books

1309
01:32:05,240 --> 01:32:08,040
Speaker 1: with your kids. I mean an extended period of time

1310
01:32:08,040 --> 01:32:11,840
Speaker 1: where large portions of your area lost power. I have

1311
01:32:12,000 --> 01:32:17,720
Speaker 1: been in that situation before. The results were not inspiring.

1312
01:32:18,520 --> 01:32:23,400
Speaker 1: What that does When power's gone, you can't fill up

1313
01:32:23,439 --> 01:32:27,080
Speaker 1: your car with gas. The gas pumps run on electricity,

1314
01:32:27,200 --> 01:32:28,720
Speaker 1: so don't think you're going to run down to the

1315
01:32:28,760 --> 01:32:32,559
Speaker 1: gas station and leave the area. If they ever got

1316
01:32:32,640 --> 01:32:37,160
Speaker 1: the power stations, we would be in very, very, very

1317
01:32:37,280 --> 01:32:42,400
Speaker 1: serious trouble. What my first thing, My first priority would be,

1318
01:32:43,240 --> 01:32:46,160
Speaker 1: I would throw my family and my pickup, which Lord

1319
01:32:46,200 --> 01:32:49,400
Speaker 1: willing is filled up with gas, and I would head

1320
01:32:49,439 --> 01:32:51,839
Speaker 1: into the mountains. I would head out to the Rocky Mountains,

1321
01:32:51,880 --> 01:32:54,760
Speaker 1: because I'm very comfortable in the mountains. It's very hard

1322
01:32:54,800 --> 01:32:57,559
Speaker 1: to find people in the mountains, and I would get

1323
01:32:57,600 --> 01:33:00,920
Speaker 1: them stashed somewhere in the Rocky Mountains where I thought

1324
01:33:00,920 --> 01:33:04,720
Speaker 1: they were safe and protected. Then I would leave them

1325
01:33:04,720 --> 01:33:07,559
Speaker 1: and go kill some communists. There's just no other there's

1326
01:33:07,600 --> 01:33:10,559
Speaker 1: nothing else to do. You would have to try to

1327
01:33:10,600 --> 01:33:15,519
Speaker 1: find assuming there are some military units still around, maybe

1328
01:33:15,520 --> 01:33:18,599
Speaker 1: a National Guard base, so you can beef up your

1329
01:33:18,600 --> 01:33:22,240
Speaker 1: amos supply and hopefully get some trained people along with you.

1330
01:33:22,560 --> 01:33:25,400
Speaker 1: But there's nothing else to do at that point in time.

1331
01:33:25,760 --> 01:33:29,160
Speaker 1: I'm not going to live under communist Chinese rule, so

1332
01:33:29,160 --> 01:33:30,880
Speaker 1: You're gonna have to weapon up and go put some

1333
01:33:30,920 --> 01:33:35,920
Speaker 1: people in the ground. Bro, why are you agreeing with

1334
01:33:35,960 --> 01:33:39,519
Speaker 1: the commies and dogging on Mississippi. This place will compete

1335
01:33:39,560 --> 01:33:43,320
Speaker 1: with any other place for outdoor beauty and sportsman paradise.

1336
01:33:43,720 --> 01:33:46,559
Speaker 1: The women are hot. The college baseball is the best

1337
01:33:46,560 --> 01:33:49,200
Speaker 1: in the country. I'll fight you. I may not be

1338
01:33:49,240 --> 01:33:52,080
Speaker 1: able to reach you, but I'll grab a stick. Just kidding,

1339
01:33:52,120 --> 01:33:55,599
Speaker 1: But seriously, it is a great red state. I actually

1340
01:33:55,640 --> 01:33:58,559
Speaker 1: forget what I said about Mississippi, Chris, I forget what

1341
01:33:58,640 --> 01:34:01,439
Speaker 1: I said. Now. Did I rip on Mississippi really hard

1342
01:34:01,479 --> 01:34:05,479
Speaker 1: or something I did? Oh? No, Well, it is a

1343
01:34:05,560 --> 01:34:08,759
Speaker 1: red state. Uh. I will tell you this. The women

1344
01:34:08,840 --> 01:34:13,200
Speaker 1: are absurdly hot, this summit, Southern women, Southern women, just

1345
01:34:13,280 --> 01:34:16,040
Speaker 1: in general. It's that accent. Man. You say that accent,

1346
01:34:16,360 --> 01:34:20,160
Speaker 1: and you just we're dudes. We cannot withstand that. We're

1347
01:34:20,200 --> 01:34:22,519
Speaker 1: not We're not We're not strong enough to withstand that, Chris.

1348
01:34:24,680 --> 01:34:29,240
Speaker 1: Dear J Steele Kelly, Now this one, man, I didn't

1349
01:34:29,280 --> 01:34:33,120
Speaker 1: want it to get heavy today. I thought I was

1350
01:34:33,160 --> 01:34:36,400
Speaker 1: gonna keep today light. But I'm gonna answer this. I

1351
01:34:36,439 --> 01:34:38,040
Speaker 1: just didn't want it to get this heavy. So let's

1352
01:34:38,080 --> 01:34:42,679
Speaker 1: let's get this over with. Dear J. Steele Kelly. Where

1353
01:34:42,680 --> 01:34:47,080
Speaker 1: do Freedo's fall on the snack chip hierarchy. They aren't

1354
01:34:47,080 --> 01:34:49,920
Speaker 1: a potato chip and they aren't a tortilla. Chip. They

1355
01:34:49,920 --> 01:34:52,800
Speaker 1: aren't really big enough for salsa or dip, but they're

1356
01:34:52,840 --> 01:34:55,679
Speaker 1: thicker than your normal chip. They have a great crunch,

1357
01:34:56,200 --> 01:35:00,479
Speaker 1: but leave you with horrible holotosis. At my house, they

1358
01:35:00,479 --> 01:35:03,439
Speaker 1: are always left over uneaten chip bags in the cupboard.

1359
01:35:03,880 --> 01:35:08,840
Speaker 1: Should Friedo's get more respect? Funny aside, when I was

1360
01:35:08,880 --> 01:35:12,679
Speaker 1: a kid, the advertising campaign had a Mexican character named

1361
01:35:12,680 --> 01:35:16,599
Speaker 1: Friedo Bandido who stole your chips. Also note that the

1362
01:35:16,680 --> 01:35:19,800
Speaker 1: chili cheese friedos are outstanding. He says, I can read

1363
01:35:19,840 --> 01:35:21,679
Speaker 1: his name on the air. His name is Kurt from

1364
01:35:22,000 --> 01:35:26,720
Speaker 1: from Cammi Fournia. One Freedo Bandido sounds sweet, Chris, give

1365
01:35:26,760 --> 01:35:28,639
Speaker 1: me a favor during the break, see if you can

1366
01:35:28,720 --> 01:35:30,760
Speaker 1: find that ad. We want to make sure we're giving

1367
01:35:30,800 --> 01:35:33,760
Speaker 1: them credit and playing that on the air, The Freedo Bandido.

1368
01:35:33,920 --> 01:35:38,240
Speaker 1: That's sweet too. We're going to address the Freedo situation.

1369
01:35:38,560 --> 01:36:01,760
Speaker 1: Hang on feeling a little stocky, follow like a subscribe

1370
01:36:01,760 --> 01:36:07,200
Speaker 1: on social at Jesse Kelly DC. I hated trying to

1371
01:36:07,280 --> 01:36:11,080
Speaker 1: quit dipping. It's hard. And here's the thing about it.

1372
01:36:11,479 --> 01:36:14,760
Speaker 1: People who have never done it. I'm not encouraging you

1373
01:36:14,800 --> 01:36:16,920
Speaker 1: to start, but people who've never done it, who've never

1374
01:36:17,920 --> 01:36:20,679
Speaker 1: dipped for a long time or smoked for a long time.

1375
01:36:21,160 --> 01:36:25,040
Speaker 1: They simply can't understand how difficult it is to stop.

1376
01:36:25,479 --> 01:36:29,360
Speaker 1: It's not only addictive, it becomes part of your routine.

1377
01:36:29,520 --> 01:36:32,439
Speaker 1: It's simply something you enjoy it. It's a part of

1378
01:36:32,479 --> 01:36:35,599
Speaker 1: your day. I used to dip after meals. After meals,

1379
01:36:35,640 --> 01:36:38,000
Speaker 1: I had to go have a dip in so I

1380
01:36:38,040 --> 01:36:41,360
Speaker 1: needed something to transition me off of it. I needed

1381
01:36:41,400 --> 01:36:45,760
Speaker 1: a dip of some kind. Jake's Mint Chew is a

1382
01:36:45,840 --> 01:36:49,120
Speaker 1: dip only It's a dip without tobacco. It's a dip

1383
01:36:49,120 --> 01:36:52,360
Speaker 1: without nicotine. It's even a dip without sugar. I can

1384
01:36:52,400 --> 01:36:55,880
Speaker 1: put it in my lip completely guilt free. Good at

1385
01:36:55,960 --> 01:37:00,960
Speaker 1: Jake's Mint Chew dot com. That's Jake's mint Chew dot com.

1386
01:37:01,000 --> 01:37:03,640
Speaker 1: He's the promo co. Jesse j E s s E

1387
01:37:04,120 --> 01:37:15,600
Speaker 1: for twenty percent off. Jesse Kelly backs in, Yeah, yeah, yeah,

1388
01:37:14,160 --> 01:37:21,160
Speaker 1: I am deg I like Rito strunkeeps. I love them.

1389
01:37:21,280 --> 01:37:25,040
Speaker 1: Might do I want Prico Sun gets them from you?

1390
01:37:25,960 --> 01:37:36,719
Speaker 1: I yeah, yeah, yeah, Oh I am I can't believe

1391
01:37:36,760 --> 01:37:41,639
Speaker 1: that ad is real. Oh that's so great. What happened

1392
01:37:41,680 --> 01:37:44,160
Speaker 1: to an era when we could play ads like that

1393
01:37:44,320 --> 01:37:46,599
Speaker 1: on the air? Chris, you know what, I'm not cheating

1394
01:37:46,640 --> 01:37:49,240
Speaker 1: that at at all. Start that over again, and we're

1395
01:37:49,280 --> 01:37:51,160
Speaker 1: playing that here on the air. Can you start that

1396
01:37:51,200 --> 01:37:54,360
Speaker 1: ad over again? I want the whole thing. Gosh, that's

1397
01:37:54,400 --> 01:38:03,320
Speaker 1: so good. I yeah, yeah, yeah. I am Brito Reggie.

1398
01:38:03,640 --> 01:38:06,519
Speaker 1: I like Frito strung chips. I love him, might do

1399
01:38:07,000 --> 01:38:14,200
Speaker 1: I want Fritos? Get them from you? I yea yea yay. Oh,

1400
01:38:14,320 --> 01:38:19,800
Speaker 1: I am def give me Fritos conti and I'll be

1401
01:38:19,920 --> 01:38:24,679
Speaker 1: your friend, Defrito Buntie, though you must not append now,

1402
01:38:24,840 --> 01:38:31,599
Speaker 1: boys and girls, you are Frito Bio's flue. I am.

1403
01:38:33,439 --> 01:38:38,920
Speaker 1: I'm absolutely time well done. Jewish producer Chris tracked it down.

1404
01:38:39,520 --> 01:38:43,160
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, and tears coming down my face. One.

1405
01:38:43,479 --> 01:38:47,400
Speaker 1: I am absolutely going to be singing I Yi, I'm

1406
01:38:47,439 --> 01:38:51,439
Speaker 1: the Friedo Bandido all the rest of today. And you

1407
01:38:51,479 --> 01:38:54,839
Speaker 1: are too. And you're lying if you said you're not too.

1408
01:38:55,360 --> 01:38:57,479
Speaker 1: Not only is that ad going to be played again

1409
01:38:57,560 --> 01:39:01,479
Speaker 1: today on the show, the chances that just became a

1410
01:39:01,560 --> 01:39:05,360
Speaker 1: permanent part of the Jesse Kelly Show hover right around

1411
01:39:05,479 --> 01:39:08,120
Speaker 1: one hundred percent. I will tell you that much. Fat

1412
01:39:08,160 --> 01:39:14,320
Speaker 1: It's so good. All right too, get focused, Chris stang

1413
01:39:14,360 --> 01:39:22,879
Speaker 1: it all right, too. Friedos almost boggle the mind. Especially

1414
01:39:22,880 --> 01:39:27,799
Speaker 1: I'm talking specifically about chili cheese friedos. Chili cheese friedos

1415
01:39:27,840 --> 01:39:31,799
Speaker 1: are probably the greatest chip on the planet. The flavor

1416
01:39:31,920 --> 01:39:38,479
Speaker 1: is perfect, the crunch is perfect. They're almost perfect. They are, however,

1417
01:39:38,640 --> 01:39:43,040
Speaker 1: missing one critical thing, and it blows me away. How

1418
01:39:43,080 --> 01:39:49,240
Speaker 1: nobody at Freedo has ever addressed this? The size. They're

1419
01:39:49,280 --> 01:39:52,920
Speaker 1: too small to dip. They're too small to dip. The

1420
01:39:52,960 --> 01:39:54,800
Speaker 1: size is not a problem when you're just eating the

1421
01:39:54,840 --> 01:39:57,120
Speaker 1: chili cheese friedos, because everyone grabs two or three or

1422
01:39:57,160 --> 01:40:00,400
Speaker 1: ten and throws them all on their mouths. Yes, size matters,

1423
01:40:00,760 --> 01:40:05,559
Speaker 1: It does matter. I can't dip the chili cheese friedo

1424
01:40:06,000 --> 01:40:09,680
Speaker 1: in caeso without getting caeso all over my fingers, and

1425
01:40:09,720 --> 01:40:12,280
Speaker 1: then I have to choose whether to be an uncultured

1426
01:40:12,400 --> 01:40:15,519
Speaker 1: swine and lick my fingers or wipe them off every

1427
01:40:15,520 --> 01:40:18,599
Speaker 1: time it doesn't work. Why can't they make a chili

1428
01:40:18,720 --> 01:40:25,920
Speaker 1: cheese friedo the size of a dorito? It blows me away. Also,

1429
01:40:27,040 --> 01:40:29,280
Speaker 1: I should note before we move on to our next question,

1430
01:40:32,160 --> 01:40:34,120
Speaker 1: I have a tip for you. When you make your

1431
01:40:34,200 --> 01:40:37,360
Speaker 1: next gas station run your road trip in you wanted

1432
01:40:37,439 --> 01:40:42,360
Speaker 1: some terrible for you gas station food people think they're

1433
01:40:42,439 --> 01:40:45,600
Speaker 1: limited to only the options in the store when it

1434
01:40:45,640 --> 01:40:50,000
Speaker 1: comes to combining things. Every gas station has one of

1435
01:40:50,040 --> 01:40:54,160
Speaker 1: those marvelous nacho cheese dispensers. You know exactly what I'm

1436
01:40:54,160 --> 01:40:57,200
Speaker 1: talking about, the ones that are cleaned once every thirty years,

1437
01:40:57,360 --> 01:41:00,639
Speaker 1: but put out that delicious nacho cheese. And in general,

1438
01:41:00,640 --> 01:41:04,240
Speaker 1: they'll have nacho cheese trays there with some corn chips.

1439
01:41:04,800 --> 01:41:07,840
Speaker 1: You're not a slave to those corn chips. Here's what

1440
01:41:07,880 --> 01:41:10,800
Speaker 1: you do next time you're in there. You go get

1441
01:41:10,880 --> 01:41:16,439
Speaker 1: a bag of flaming hot cheetos, open it up, dump

1442
01:41:16,520 --> 01:41:18,840
Speaker 1: the bag in the nacho cheese tray. Save the bag.

1443
01:41:18,920 --> 01:41:20,559
Speaker 1: You need that to pay for the things we don't

1444
01:41:20,640 --> 01:41:24,519
Speaker 1: steal here. Then you go to the nacho cheese machine

1445
01:41:24,880 --> 01:41:28,000
Speaker 1: and you dump the nacho cheese. You squirt the nacho

1446
01:41:28,120 --> 01:41:32,160
Speaker 1: cheese all over your nacho cheese tray of flaming hot cheetos.

1447
01:41:32,439 --> 01:41:35,120
Speaker 1: I will say it is imperative you grab a fork

1448
01:41:35,479 --> 01:41:38,840
Speaker 1: or probably a spoon with this. You cannot eat this

1449
01:41:38,920 --> 01:41:41,519
Speaker 1: with your fingers. I've done it before. Then I ended

1450
01:41:41,600 --> 01:41:43,160
Speaker 1: up rubbing my eye and I don't want to talk

1451
01:41:43,200 --> 01:41:45,320
Speaker 1: about it. It was a long day, but it doesn't matter.

1452
01:41:46,160 --> 01:41:49,400
Speaker 1: That's your next gas station snack. They don't care. You

1453
01:41:49,439 --> 01:41:51,719
Speaker 1: didn't cost them any money. You're paying for the same

1454
01:41:51,760 --> 01:41:56,360
Speaker 1: thing you need to make it happen, show Gun. I

1455
01:41:56,439 --> 01:42:00,800
Speaker 1: agree with almost all of your takes, along with your

1456
01:42:00,880 --> 01:42:04,639
Speaker 1: garbage takes regarding the War of Northern Negression. I love

1457
01:42:04,720 --> 01:42:06,840
Speaker 1: Southern people when I talk about the Civil War, it's

1458
01:42:06,880 --> 01:42:11,200
Speaker 1: the best. But Brisket, this is a bridge too far. Many,

1459
01:42:11,320 --> 01:42:14,320
Speaker 1: many famous Texans were not born here but chose to

1460
01:42:14,360 --> 01:42:18,280
Speaker 1: live here and become Texans, such as Travis Bowie, Houston,

1461
01:42:18,439 --> 01:42:22,080
Speaker 1: Bob Wills, George H. W Bush, Chuck Norris, and until

1462
01:42:22,120 --> 01:42:27,240
Speaker 1: a few days ago, Jesse Kelly. We still love you

1463
01:42:27,560 --> 01:42:30,679
Speaker 1: and welcome you here, but we cannot in good conscience

1464
01:42:30,680 --> 01:42:35,160
Speaker 1: consider you to be a Texan. And seriously, North Carolina barbecue,

1465
01:42:35,560 --> 01:42:37,679
Speaker 1: of all the other barbecue that you could have picked,

1466
01:42:37,760 --> 01:42:41,679
Speaker 1: that is the least edible. It only takes like two

1467
01:42:41,720 --> 01:42:45,360
Speaker 1: hours to drive across that puny state, if you even

1468
01:42:45,400 --> 01:42:47,840
Speaker 1: call it a state. I know, deep in your heart

1469
01:42:47,840 --> 01:42:50,240
Speaker 1: of heart, you know brisket is awesome. That's why you

1470
01:42:50,280 --> 01:42:53,760
Speaker 1: were turning your microphone off and on. We know it

1471
01:42:53,880 --> 01:42:58,040
Speaker 1: was you because Jewish producer Chris simply doesn't exist. Go

1472
01:42:58,200 --> 01:43:00,400
Speaker 1: take a look in the mirror and take a cold shower.

1473
01:43:00,880 --> 01:43:04,520
Speaker 1: You can use my name, fat Tim, He says, PS,

1474
01:43:04,520 --> 01:43:06,920
Speaker 1: thanks for entertaining me. My girls are still a little

1475
01:43:06,960 --> 01:43:09,240
Speaker 1: too young, but they will be listening to this show

1476
01:43:09,280 --> 01:43:11,920
Speaker 1: when they're older, hoping you'll still be on the air

1477
01:43:11,960 --> 01:43:19,240
Speaker 1: by them. Happy San Concino Day, Texas forever regards. Brisket's

1478
01:43:19,280 --> 01:43:26,559
Speaker 1: not that good. I'm sorry, turn the mic back on, Chris.

1479
01:43:26,760 --> 01:43:31,000
Speaker 1: It's not that good. Look, I didn't say it was bad.

1480
01:43:32,880 --> 01:43:35,439
Speaker 1: I didn't say it was bad. It's not that good.

1481
01:43:35,720 --> 01:43:39,840
Speaker 1: If you would have put a delicious sausage in front

1482
01:43:39,880 --> 01:43:42,160
Speaker 1: of me, like they have all over Texas. They have

1483
01:43:42,280 --> 01:43:45,679
Speaker 1: jalapeno cheddar sausages, you put one of those in front

1484
01:43:45,680 --> 01:43:49,240
Speaker 1: of me, or brisket. I'm picking the sausage every single

1485
01:43:49,320 --> 01:43:52,200
Speaker 1: day of the week, and twice on Sunday. I understand

1486
01:43:52,280 --> 01:43:54,960
Speaker 1: I can have both, Chris, it was an either or scenario.

1487
01:43:59,000 --> 01:44:01,160
Speaker 1: I don't have to tell anybody what kind of brisket

1488
01:44:01,200 --> 01:44:03,959
Speaker 1: I smoked. Okay, I don't have to. It was brisket.

1489
01:44:04,360 --> 01:44:07,719
Speaker 1: I realized the five hours saying that on the air

1490
01:44:08,080 --> 01:44:12,120
Speaker 1: has opened me up to some severe criticism. The emails

1491
01:44:12,120 --> 01:44:16,000
Speaker 1: that are tearing me apart for that. I'm not a cook, Okay,

1492
01:44:16,160 --> 01:44:19,240
Speaker 1: I make Okay, I make the best cheeseburgers in the

1493
01:44:19,280 --> 01:44:21,240
Speaker 1: history of the world. I'm not even just bragging. I

1494
01:44:21,280 --> 01:44:24,000
Speaker 1: really do. I make no bones about that. I make

1495
01:44:24,160 --> 01:44:27,240
Speaker 1: breakfast for dinner. I make eggs, not that that takes

1496
01:44:27,240 --> 01:44:28,920
Speaker 1: a lot of skill. I make bacon and eggs of

1497
01:44:28,960 --> 01:44:32,720
Speaker 1: all kinds. Beyond that, oh, I actually do make a

1498
01:44:32,720 --> 01:44:35,639
Speaker 1: really good steak. Now. I have a big cast iron pan,

1499
01:44:35,760 --> 01:44:37,880
Speaker 1: and I do steak and see it and everything I

1500
01:44:37,920 --> 01:44:39,599
Speaker 1: do it, I do a very good steak. I'll say

1501
01:44:39,640 --> 01:44:45,120
Speaker 1: that much. Beyond that, I am white trash, Okay. I

1502
01:44:45,160 --> 01:44:49,640
Speaker 1: eat a lot of cheese whiz and Star Crunch and

1503
01:44:49,920 --> 01:44:52,880
Speaker 1: Kraft mac and cheese and stuff like that. I'm not

1504
01:44:52,960 --> 01:44:56,160
Speaker 1: one of you pit masters from Texas or North Carolina

1505
01:44:56,240 --> 01:44:59,000
Speaker 1: or Kansas City or Mississippi or anywhere else where. I

1506
01:44:59,040 --> 01:45:02,240
Speaker 1: grew up and was raised underneath a smoker. That's not

1507
01:45:02,320 --> 01:45:09,400
Speaker 1: it what Chris Chris said. If I don't master brisket,

1508
01:45:09,720 --> 01:45:12,479
Speaker 1: I can't have a brisket breakfast taco. Why would I

1509
01:45:12,520 --> 01:45:16,719
Speaker 1: ever want a brisket breadcast breakfast taco When Terizo breakfast.

1510
01:45:16,800 --> 01:45:22,679
Speaker 1: Tacos exist Terzo is vastly superior to brisket. Sorry, it's true.

1511
01:45:22,760 --> 01:45:26,040
Speaker 1: Where's my Friedo Bandido? Friedo Bandido would agree with me?

1512
01:45:26,479 --> 01:45:33,920
Speaker 1: Which is superior? Friedo Bandido tell us, I am detwoggy.

1513
01:45:34,360 --> 01:45:38,200
Speaker 1: I like Fricco stunts. I love them. Do I want

1514
01:45:38,240 --> 01:45:46,200
Speaker 1: fritos from you? I yea yea yeah, Oh I am Difrito.

1515
01:45:48,160 --> 01:45:53,040
Speaker 1: Give me Rico's county. I'll be your friend. Defrito Bundo,

1516
01:45:53,200 --> 01:45:58,200
Speaker 1: you must not have been now. Ah, that is so beautiful.

1517
01:45:58,320 --> 01:46:01,360
Speaker 1: Chris is so beauty. You know you're singing it along now.

1518
01:46:01,360 --> 01:46:03,800
Speaker 1: We're not going to get in trouble. I mean, we

1519
01:46:03,920 --> 01:46:06,320
Speaker 1: might get in trouble, but how many times have we

1520
01:46:06,360 --> 01:46:08,839
Speaker 1: gotten in trouble on this show for saying offensive things

1521
01:46:08,880 --> 01:46:12,400
Speaker 1: like a thousand times? The beauty of it is my

1522
01:46:12,560 --> 01:46:16,320
Speaker 1: people don't care. They don't care at all. For some

1523
01:46:16,360 --> 01:46:20,240
Speaker 1: absurd reason, the show numbers can continue to rock it up,

1524
01:46:20,760 --> 01:46:24,639
Speaker 1: and so they don't care. I can't change who I am.

1525
01:46:24,800 --> 01:46:26,680
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't change who I am now that

1526
01:46:26,760 --> 01:46:32,240
Speaker 1: I'm huge, this huge celebrity, Chris, very important celebrity. All right,

1527
01:46:32,720 --> 01:46:36,360
Speaker 1: Ask doctor Jesse questions, what about national divorce again. Hang on,

1528
01:46:55,040 --> 01:46:58,760
Speaker 1: You know that Eden Pure Thunderstorm kills and prevents the

1529
01:46:58,840 --> 01:47:03,320
Speaker 1: spreading of mold, fungus, and mildew anywhere in your home,

1530
01:47:04,439 --> 01:47:07,040
Speaker 1: to say nothing of what it's done for me personally.

1531
01:47:07,080 --> 01:47:10,839
Speaker 1: I can testify to this for my allergies. Oh my goodness,

1532
01:47:10,880 --> 01:47:13,439
Speaker 1: the allergy relief. Look, I have another of you here.

1533
01:47:13,720 --> 01:47:16,600
Speaker 1: The air in the room is fresher, and my allergies

1534
01:47:16,640 --> 01:47:18,960
Speaker 1: are gone. Look I'm looking at a list of these

1535
01:47:18,960 --> 01:47:21,559
Speaker 1: reviews for the Eden Pure Thunderstorm. You don't just have

1536
01:47:21,600 --> 01:47:23,840
Speaker 1: to take my word for it. This thing will clean

1537
01:47:23,920 --> 01:47:26,599
Speaker 1: your ear. It'll get those allergens out of the air.

1538
01:47:26,760 --> 01:47:32,960
Speaker 1: It destroys deadly viruses in bacteria and the odors. We

1539
01:47:33,120 --> 01:47:36,520
Speaker 1: have odors that come into our home, either from ourselves

1540
01:47:36,640 --> 01:47:40,280
Speaker 1: or our pets. This thing doesn't cover those odors up.

1541
01:47:40,320 --> 01:47:43,200
Speaker 1: Forget about the hot oil you're plugging into the wall.

1542
01:47:43,520 --> 01:47:47,920
Speaker 1: Didn't Eden Pure Thunderstorm and eliminate those odors completely? Good

1543
01:47:47,960 --> 01:47:51,320
Speaker 1: at Eden Pure deals dot Com used to code word

1544
01:47:51,520 --> 01:47:54,880
Speaker 1: jesse at checkout that actually gets you ten bucks off.

1545
01:48:18,600 --> 01:48:21,840
Speaker 1: This isn't what we agreed to, Chris. We agreed that

1546
01:48:21,880 --> 01:48:24,759
Speaker 1: we were going to come back with the greatest jingle

1547
01:48:25,080 --> 01:48:31,880
Speaker 1: of all time. I yeah, yeah, yeah, I am Deefrito

1548
01:48:32,080 --> 01:48:36,240
Speaker 1: bunte O Eggy. I like Rito storm chips. I love them.

1549
01:48:36,360 --> 01:48:40,080
Speaker 1: Might do I want printos scrunchips. I'll get them from you.

1550
01:48:41,040 --> 01:48:47,840
Speaker 1: I yea yea yea oh. I am Defrito Buntito. Give

1551
01:48:47,920 --> 01:48:52,200
Speaker 1: me ritos coruncryps and I'll be your friend, Defrito Bunty.

1552
01:48:52,320 --> 01:48:58,920
Speaker 1: Though you must not upail munch Munch Munch mun It's

1553
01:48:59,040 --> 01:49:03,920
Speaker 1: so good. Welcome back to the Jesse Kelly Show with me.

1554
01:49:04,960 --> 01:49:09,439
Speaker 1: Sombrero Jesse. That song they get played on repeat all

1555
01:49:09,560 --> 01:49:14,320
Speaker 1: day on Cinco de Mayo. That is the greatest thing ever. Again,

1556
01:49:15,080 --> 01:49:19,519
Speaker 1: it's an ask doctor Jesse Thursday. We normally do this

1557
01:49:19,640 --> 01:49:22,639
Speaker 1: on Friday, but I'm not going to be here tomorrow.

1558
01:49:22,760 --> 01:49:25,600
Speaker 1: B K will be filling in. I have something I

1559
01:49:25,680 --> 01:49:27,320
Speaker 1: have to go do that I'm not allowed to tell

1560
01:49:27,360 --> 01:49:29,200
Speaker 1: you about, but I'll be able to tell you about

1561
01:49:29,280 --> 01:49:31,439
Speaker 1: on Monday. So I'll tell you all about it on Monday.

1562
01:49:31,880 --> 01:49:37,960
Speaker 1: It's top secret. Nobody knows. Dear showgun. On the national

1563
01:49:38,040 --> 01:49:41,879
Speaker 1: divorce idea, in your mind, how would it look for business?

1564
01:49:42,920 --> 01:49:45,840
Speaker 1: Would you begin aggressively plussing up the military in our

1565
01:49:45,880 --> 01:49:49,000
Speaker 1: new country with real war fighters. With the left so

1566
01:49:49,200 --> 01:49:52,479
Speaker 1: focused on feminizing the current military, would ours be able

1567
01:49:52,520 --> 01:49:55,120
Speaker 1: to mop them up almost immediately if we want it

1568
01:49:55,920 --> 01:49:58,439
Speaker 1: on who is running the country. Do you think Joe

1569
01:49:58,479 --> 01:50:00,880
Speaker 1: Biden has more power than we I think I tend

1570
01:50:00,920 --> 01:50:02,400
Speaker 1: to think she may be one of the real power

1571
01:50:02,479 --> 01:50:05,800
Speaker 1: players behind the scene and may explain the Kamala border thing.

1572
01:50:05,920 --> 01:50:10,599
Speaker 1: Your thoughts. First of all, in our new country, business

1573
01:50:10,760 --> 01:50:15,559
Speaker 1: would be booming in the Republic of Jesse, absolutely booming,

1574
01:50:16,240 --> 01:50:20,439
Speaker 1: because we're gonna be free. It's gonna be I mean,

1575
01:50:20,520 --> 01:50:25,320
Speaker 1: there's a reason that places like Hong Kong are absurdly profitable.

1576
01:50:25,800 --> 01:50:28,880
Speaker 1: That's just I've never been, but everybody I know who's

1577
01:50:28,920 --> 01:50:32,320
Speaker 1: been to Hong Kong says it's insane how free it is.

1578
01:50:32,360 --> 01:50:36,240
Speaker 1: And so it just exploded. Business wise. Free markets work,

1579
01:50:36,320 --> 01:50:41,800
Speaker 1: they work really well. What Chris, am I sure? I

1580
01:50:41,880 --> 01:50:44,080
Speaker 1: want to go with Republic of Jesse. We can call

1581
01:50:44,120 --> 01:50:46,280
Speaker 1: it jesse Land if you'd rather. I don't care. It's

1582
01:50:46,320 --> 01:50:51,000
Speaker 1: gonna be something along those lines. What Chris, You know what?

1583
01:50:51,120 --> 01:50:53,439
Speaker 1: I do like that better Kingdom of Jesse is probably

1584
01:50:53,560 --> 01:50:57,519
Speaker 1: better Kingdom of Jesse. I like the good call, good call, Chris. Anyway,

1585
01:50:58,160 --> 01:51:01,920
Speaker 1: the Kingdom of Jesse, you asked about our military. I

1586
01:51:02,280 --> 01:51:06,519
Speaker 1: do not believe in a large standing military. Our founders

1587
01:51:06,560 --> 01:51:09,879
Speaker 1: did not believe it. They all of them. This was universal.

1588
01:51:10,240 --> 01:51:13,639
Speaker 1: They believed it was hostile to liberty. It has proven

1589
01:51:13,720 --> 01:51:18,160
Speaker 1: to be very much. So. We will have an absurdly powerful,

1590
01:51:18,320 --> 01:51:24,320
Speaker 1: technologically advanced navy. We will have an absurdly powerful or

1591
01:51:24,320 --> 01:51:29,640
Speaker 1: at least technologically advanced air force. We will have a small,

1592
01:51:30,720 --> 01:51:34,800
Speaker 1: small land force of some of the most highly trained

1593
01:51:34,840 --> 01:51:37,719
Speaker 1: fighters in the world. Yes, we will always be ready

1594
01:51:37,760 --> 01:51:40,519
Speaker 1: to ramp up at a moment's notice should the rest

1595
01:51:40,600 --> 01:51:43,479
Speaker 1: of our population be needed to fight a big land war.

1596
01:51:43,920 --> 01:51:45,920
Speaker 1: But I do not believe in a large land force.

1597
01:51:45,960 --> 01:51:50,320
Speaker 1: I simply do not. As far as Joe Biden goes,

1598
01:51:51,960 --> 01:51:55,599
Speaker 1: I am going to say something that's completely opinion. Sometimes

1599
01:51:55,640 --> 01:51:58,160
Speaker 1: I get inside knowledge because of people, and I know,

1600
01:51:58,439 --> 01:51:59,920
Speaker 1: and I tell you about that, and I tell you

1601
01:52:00,160 --> 01:52:02,760
Speaker 1: when I have inside knowledge of it. Somebody told me this,

1602
01:52:02,880 --> 01:52:05,360
Speaker 1: who I know. Nobody has told me this. I want

1603
01:52:05,360 --> 01:52:08,160
Speaker 1: to clarify I am just from the outside looking in.

1604
01:52:09,439 --> 01:52:14,519
Speaker 1: I think Jill Biden swings a big, big hammer. I

1605
01:52:14,640 --> 01:52:19,880
Speaker 1: think she does. I think she is an absurdly ambitious woman.

1606
01:52:20,880 --> 01:52:24,160
Speaker 1: I well, this is going to sound very harsh, but

1607
01:52:24,280 --> 01:52:28,080
Speaker 1: I view things like dementia and Alzheimer's and things like

1608
01:52:28,160 --> 01:52:31,679
Speaker 1: that very I take that stuff very seriously. If you've

1609
01:52:31,680 --> 01:52:34,640
Speaker 1: ever seen a loved one go through that, or a

1610
01:52:34,760 --> 01:52:37,400
Speaker 1: loved one go through that with one of their loved ones,

1611
01:52:37,960 --> 01:52:42,160
Speaker 1: you know, you know it is gut wrenching. It is

1612
01:52:42,640 --> 01:52:48,040
Speaker 1: terrible to watch somebody, somebody you love, lose who they are,

1613
01:52:48,360 --> 01:52:52,160
Speaker 1: and not only lose who they are, forget who you are.

1614
01:52:52,360 --> 01:52:54,800
Speaker 1: How much does that hurt, even though it's not their fault.

1615
01:52:55,240 --> 01:52:59,479
Speaker 1: I've seen how much that wounds people, and how mean

1616
01:52:59,760 --> 01:53:02,320
Speaker 1: and nasty they Yet you've seen how Joe Biden has

1617
01:53:02,400 --> 01:53:05,759
Speaker 1: these fits of rage. Remember when he was poking reporters

1618
01:53:05,800 --> 01:53:08,479
Speaker 1: in the chest and yelling at people. He called some

1619
01:53:08,640 --> 01:53:12,000
Speaker 1: guy fat. You just have these little fits of rage

1620
01:53:12,120 --> 01:53:15,880
Speaker 1: like that. I really, really do not think highly of

1621
01:53:16,040 --> 01:53:21,160
Speaker 1: Jill Biden for allowing her husband, who is on his

1622
01:53:21,439 --> 01:53:24,280
Speaker 1: last last year's I mean, I'm not I don't want

1623
01:53:24,280 --> 01:53:26,479
Speaker 1: any harm to come to the man, but clearly going

1624
01:53:26,600 --> 01:53:30,880
Speaker 1: downhill quickly, allowing him to do that and run for

1625
01:53:30,960 --> 01:53:33,840
Speaker 1: president and be president in his last years, I think

1626
01:53:33,880 --> 01:53:37,120
Speaker 1: that is so grossly out of line. I think a

1627
01:53:37,240 --> 01:53:42,400
Speaker 1: wife should absolutely have stepped in and told him what

1628
01:53:42,479 --> 01:53:45,280
Speaker 1: to do. She probably can't, but stepped in and even

1629
01:53:45,320 --> 01:53:48,040
Speaker 1: gone public with it if possible, and said, absolutely not,

1630
01:53:48,280 --> 01:53:52,160
Speaker 1: my husband in his final years is going to have

1631
01:53:52,400 --> 01:53:55,160
Speaker 1: rest and care and we're going to hang out together

1632
01:53:55,320 --> 01:53:59,839
Speaker 1: and we're gonna go to Florida and relax. And instead

1633
01:54:00,040 --> 01:54:03,639
Speaker 1: she let the somebody who's already fading, someone who needs rest,

1634
01:54:04,240 --> 01:54:07,400
Speaker 1: She let him take over the most stressful job in

1635
01:54:07,520 --> 01:54:13,799
Speaker 1: the world. I think that is disgusting. I despise Michelle Obama,

1636
01:54:13,960 --> 01:54:16,879
Speaker 1: despise her because I think she's a full out America

1637
01:54:16,920 --> 01:54:20,960
Speaker 1: Hayden communist. I like Michelle Obama better than I like

1638
01:54:21,080 --> 01:54:23,040
Speaker 1: Joe Biden. That's that's how much I look down on

1639
01:54:23,160 --> 01:54:25,800
Speaker 1: Joe Biden I do. I think that is so out

1640
01:54:25,840 --> 01:54:28,400
Speaker 1: of line, so out of line to let your husband

1641
01:54:28,439 --> 01:54:33,680
Speaker 1: do that. Doctor soon to soon to be Sombrero Jesse.

1642
01:54:33,960 --> 01:54:36,480
Speaker 1: It is soon, Chris, you realize how quickly Cinco de

1643
01:54:36,520 --> 01:54:39,520
Speaker 1: Mayo is coming up on us. The Freedo Bandido will

1644
01:54:39,520 --> 01:54:43,280
Speaker 1: be there for us. Doctor soon to be Sombrero Jesse.

1645
01:54:43,880 --> 01:54:46,440
Speaker 1: Your take yesterday on the ability to be a spy

1646
01:54:46,800 --> 01:54:50,640
Speaker 1: is perplexing to me. Well, for one, let me recap

1647
01:54:50,760 --> 01:54:54,960
Speaker 1: for those who missed it yesterday. Whenever we watch spy

1648
01:54:55,080 --> 01:54:57,680
Speaker 1: movies or something like that at the house, I always

1649
01:54:57,720 --> 01:54:59,280
Speaker 1: say to the wife, I should have been a spy,

1650
01:54:59,480 --> 01:55:01,000
Speaker 1: or I'll say it my buddies, that should have been

1651
01:55:01,040 --> 01:55:03,960
Speaker 1: a spy. And they laugh and they say, you're so stupid,

1652
01:55:04,720 --> 01:55:07,520
Speaker 1: you're huge, and you're loud. You could never be a spy.

1653
01:55:07,880 --> 01:55:11,080
Speaker 1: And I'm six eight, two thirty, and I admit my

1654
01:55:11,200 --> 01:55:14,880
Speaker 1: voice does carry a little bit. A little shut up, Chris,

1655
01:55:15,000 --> 01:55:19,000
Speaker 1: a little bit. My voice carries a little bit. However,

1656
01:55:19,120 --> 01:55:22,040
Speaker 1: I can be an absolute shadow when I want to be.

1657
01:55:22,120 --> 01:55:25,000
Speaker 1: I can disappear. I can you know you've never seen

1658
01:55:25,040 --> 01:55:27,240
Speaker 1: it anyway. That was my take on it. He says,

1659
01:55:27,280 --> 01:55:29,200
Speaker 1: you always say you're the last man on earth that

1660
01:55:29,320 --> 01:55:31,480
Speaker 1: can tell a secret to and take it to the grave.

1661
01:55:32,160 --> 01:55:35,240
Speaker 1: Does it bring doesn't being a spy? You go one

1662
01:55:35,320 --> 01:55:37,960
Speaker 1: hundred percent against this rule. And don't tell me you

1663
01:55:38,000 --> 01:55:40,640
Speaker 1: could be a spy against commies because you couldn't spend

1664
01:55:40,680 --> 01:55:44,480
Speaker 1: an hour around one without some anti communist statement coming

1665
01:55:44,520 --> 01:55:46,800
Speaker 1: out of your mouth. You can say my name, your

1666
01:55:46,840 --> 01:55:52,200
Speaker 1: name is Cody, or his name is Cody. I can look.

1667
01:55:52,320 --> 01:55:55,080
Speaker 1: That doesn't count as the secret is that I'm a spy.

1668
01:55:55,680 --> 01:55:59,160
Speaker 1: If I'm being a spy against commies, I'll worm my

1669
01:55:59,400 --> 01:56:02,760
Speaker 1: way into their inner circle and I'll gather all their

1670
01:56:02,840 --> 01:56:05,720
Speaker 1: nuclear codes or whatever it is as spies to and

1671
01:56:05,800 --> 01:56:08,720
Speaker 1: I'll wear the tuxedo, you know, And of course all

1672
01:56:08,760 --> 01:56:11,720
Speaker 1: the Chinese communists women will be all over me like

1673
01:56:11,840 --> 01:56:14,200
Speaker 1: they wear with James Bond, and I'll reject them, Chris,

1674
01:56:14,480 --> 01:56:17,200
Speaker 1: because we don't do we don't deal with communists here.

1675
01:56:17,440 --> 01:56:21,280
Speaker 1: And I'll have fancy Chris don't. No, no, Chris, don't.

1676
01:56:21,560 --> 01:56:25,960
Speaker 1: And I'll have exploding shoes or whatever fancy gadgets. There

1677
01:56:26,080 --> 01:56:28,480
Speaker 1: was this one James Bond I saw where he had

1678
01:56:28,520 --> 01:56:32,200
Speaker 1: a pen that was a grenade I've wanted a grenade

1679
01:56:32,280 --> 01:56:34,920
Speaker 1: pen so badly ever since. Oh that was Golden Eye?

1680
01:56:35,000 --> 01:56:38,200
Speaker 1: Was that movie? Golden Eye grew underrated James Bond movie,

1681
01:56:38,520 --> 01:56:41,160
Speaker 1: He had a grenade pen. Gosh, I want a grenade

1682
01:56:41,200 --> 01:56:43,920
Speaker 1: pen so bad. I'm gonna get one. I'm gonna get one.

1683
01:56:45,920 --> 01:56:48,640
Speaker 1: Listening to your show today, after sending a question earlier,

1684
01:56:48,680 --> 01:56:50,680
Speaker 1: and if possible, and I'm not being too much of

1685
01:56:50,720 --> 01:56:54,720
Speaker 1: an insane narcissist, I'd like to append my earlier question

1686
01:56:54,800 --> 01:56:58,720
Speaker 1: to add, what makes you think Republicans wouldn't turn in

1687
01:56:58,840 --> 01:57:01,520
Speaker 1: their guns? Most of them spent the last year locked

1688
01:57:01,520 --> 01:57:03,720
Speaker 1: in their homes thinking they were a rebel for only

1689
01:57:03,840 --> 01:57:07,880
Speaker 1: wearing one face diaper. Okay, just r fifteens, they look

1690
01:57:07,960 --> 01:57:12,320
Speaker 1: scary and maybe pistols. He's essentially saying Republicans will turn

1691
01:57:12,400 --> 01:57:14,640
Speaker 1: in their guns if told to turn in their guns.

1692
01:57:17,080 --> 01:57:19,960
Speaker 1: I have thoughts on this, says you can imagine. I'll

1693
01:57:20,000 --> 01:57:43,320
Speaker 1: tell you in just a second. Jesse Kelly on air

1694
01:57:43,560 --> 01:57:49,040
Speaker 1: and online at Jesse Kelly Show dot com. One in

1695
01:57:49,160 --> 01:57:52,480
Speaker 1: three adults has pre diabetes one in three. That means

1696
01:57:52,520 --> 01:57:56,760
Speaker 1: it could be you, your football buddy, your football buddy,

1697
01:57:57,440 --> 01:58:02,800
Speaker 1: or you your best man, yours you you're a dog walker,

1698
01:58:03,320 --> 01:58:06,680
Speaker 1: You're a cat jugger. While one in three adults has

1699
01:58:06,720 --> 01:58:10,400
Speaker 1: pre diabetes. With early diagnosis, pre diabetes can be reversed.

1700
01:58:10,520 --> 01:58:13,200
Speaker 1: Take the risk test and do I have pre diabetes

1701
01:58:13,280 --> 01:58:16,240
Speaker 1: dot org? That's do I have pre diabetes dot org?

1702
01:58:17,600 --> 01:58:19,840
Speaker 1: Wait did they just say one in three adults has

1703
01:58:19,880 --> 01:58:22,800
Speaker 1: pre diabetes. That's thirty three point three three three three

1704
01:58:22,840 --> 01:58:24,920
Speaker 1: percent of adults. That means it could be me my

1705
01:58:25,120 --> 01:58:28,480
Speaker 1: boss or my boss's boss, or me my favorite sister

1706
01:58:28,800 --> 01:58:31,400
Speaker 1: or my other sister. That's seven members of my twenty

1707
01:58:31,440 --> 01:58:34,560
Speaker 1: one person romantic book club. Wait, the one in three

1708
01:58:34,600 --> 01:58:38,040
Speaker 1: could be me, my karaoke partner Carol, or uh my

1709
01:58:38,280 --> 01:58:41,400
Speaker 1: karaoke enemy, Jeff. I'm going to take the risk test

1710
01:58:41,440 --> 01:58:44,320
Speaker 1: that do I have pre diabetes dot org brought to

1711
01:58:44,320 --> 01:58:47,400
Speaker 1: you by the AD Council, and it's pre Diabetes Awareness Partners.

1712
01:58:49,240 --> 01:59:01,920
Speaker 1: I yea, I am. I like I want sum from you.

1713
01:59:02,920 --> 01:59:20,280
Speaker 1: I give me your friend, though you must not have it.

1714
01:59:20,520 --> 01:59:24,560
Speaker 1: Is the Jesse Kelly Show on a rare ask doctor

1715
01:59:24,760 --> 01:59:28,920
Speaker 1: Jesse Thursday eight seven seven three seven seven four three

1716
01:59:29,120 --> 01:59:33,440
Speaker 1: seven three Jesse at Jesse Kelly show dot com. You

1717
01:59:33,560 --> 01:59:37,440
Speaker 1: can find me on social media on Twitter and Instagram

1718
01:59:37,600 --> 01:59:41,560
Speaker 1: at Jesse Kelly DC. I'm also on Facebook. I'm also

1719
01:59:41,640 --> 01:59:44,120
Speaker 1: on locals. That's the place I can't be kicked off.

1720
01:59:45,160 --> 01:59:49,040
Speaker 1: The question was what makes you think Republicans won't turn

1721
01:59:49,120 --> 01:59:54,640
Speaker 1: in their guns? Well, I do think Republicans will turn

1722
01:59:54,680 --> 02:00:00,040
Speaker 1: in their guns, just not all. I I understand, and

1723
02:00:00,200 --> 02:00:05,640
Speaker 1: I moved forward here understanding what we face. With my

1724
02:00:05,920 --> 02:00:11,480
Speaker 1: eyes wide open, wide open, I understand that a small

1725
02:00:11,640 --> 02:00:14,280
Speaker 1: percentage of us are going to have to carry the

1726
02:00:14,360 --> 02:00:19,080
Speaker 1: burden that's not unique. That's the history of the world.

1727
02:00:20,040 --> 02:00:21,920
Speaker 1: I mean, you know something they don't teach you about

1728
02:00:21,920 --> 02:00:25,800
Speaker 1: the American Revolution. Do you know what percentage of the

1729
02:00:25,880 --> 02:00:29,840
Speaker 1: country rebelled against the British and created the greatest country

1730
02:00:29,960 --> 02:00:36,160
Speaker 1: the world has ever known? Thirty an equal percentage of

1731
02:00:36,240 --> 02:00:41,360
Speaker 1: the country fought with the British, fought on their side.

1732
02:00:41,440 --> 02:00:44,320
Speaker 1: They were called loyalists, and thirty percent of the country

1733
02:00:45,600 --> 02:00:50,840
Speaker 1: didn't care, didn't carry the way. Three out of ten

1734
02:00:51,000 --> 02:00:55,000
Speaker 1: people are the reason you have existed in the United

1735
02:00:55,080 --> 02:01:00,120
Speaker 1: States of America. I am very aware going forward that

1736
02:01:00,280 --> 02:01:03,320
Speaker 1: there aren't going to be many of us left. I

1737
02:01:03,400 --> 02:01:06,840
Speaker 1: will tell you. Maybe you didn't, that's fine. I have

1738
02:01:07,200 --> 02:01:13,640
Speaker 1: used the coronavirus stuff as a big revealer, I'll say

1739
02:01:14,080 --> 02:01:17,680
Speaker 1: I have used the coronavirus stuff as a way to

1740
02:01:17,840 --> 02:01:22,000
Speaker 1: tell exactly who I can count on and who I can't. Oh,

1741
02:01:22,120 --> 02:01:24,760
Speaker 1: I don't get me wrong. I realize every single political

1742
02:01:25,160 --> 02:01:29,360
Speaker 1: pundit you know is now anti this and anti lockdown

1743
02:01:29,440 --> 02:01:31,720
Speaker 1: and anti this, and we won't stand for this, and

1744
02:01:31,840 --> 02:01:37,680
Speaker 1: this crushes liberty. And I remember exactly where you were

1745
02:01:38,840 --> 02:01:42,280
Speaker 1: on day one of the lockdowns, and you were right

1746
02:01:42,400 --> 02:01:46,680
Speaker 1: there with everybody else. Go home, hide, we're all gonna die,

1747
02:01:47,120 --> 02:01:51,240
Speaker 1: because that was the popular, easy position to take at

1748
02:01:51,320 --> 02:01:55,720
Speaker 1: the time. That's where ninety nine percent of the right,

1749
02:01:56,040 --> 02:01:58,480
Speaker 1: at least the pundits and politicians on the right, they

1750
02:01:58,560 --> 02:02:02,360
Speaker 1: were all taking that. I remember the heat I took

1751
02:02:02,480 --> 02:02:06,200
Speaker 1: because the second they even suggested lockdowns, I said, are

1752
02:02:06,240 --> 02:02:09,000
Speaker 1: you out of your freaking mind? It's going to wreck

1753
02:02:09,120 --> 02:02:11,720
Speaker 1: the economy and it's not even lawful. You can't do that.

1754
02:02:12,280 --> 02:02:15,720
Speaker 1: And I mean friends of mine, good friends of mine,

1755
02:02:15,960 --> 02:02:20,280
Speaker 1: politicians and pundits blowing up my phone in private, Hey man,

1756
02:02:20,320 --> 02:02:22,880
Speaker 1: are you sure about that. I actually had people that

1757
02:02:23,080 --> 02:02:26,400
Speaker 1: I know say, hey, man, you might want to don't

1758
02:02:26,480 --> 02:02:28,680
Speaker 1: say that on the air. Dude, Hey, you're gonna get

1759
02:02:29,080 --> 02:02:31,560
Speaker 1: if you're crazy, a man of millions of people are

1760
02:02:31,600 --> 02:02:33,960
Speaker 1: gonna die. Just shut up. Hey, you should delete that tweet.

1761
02:02:34,040 --> 02:02:37,560
Speaker 1: Man said, Now, oh I'm good, I'm gonna be right,

1762
02:02:38,400 --> 02:02:42,400
Speaker 1: and you should really think about taking the hard stance. Now.

1763
02:02:43,000 --> 02:02:45,840
Speaker 1: That way, a false narrative doesn't get set and we

1764
02:02:45,960 --> 02:02:49,080
Speaker 1: aren't screwed. Well, they didn't take a hard stance. There

1765
02:02:49,120 --> 02:02:51,240
Speaker 1: weren't enough of us that drew a line in the sand,

1766
02:02:51,360 --> 02:02:55,920
Speaker 1: and now we're screwed. You understand. We haven't even begun

1767
02:02:56,200 --> 02:03:00,400
Speaker 1: to sniff the financial fallout of the coronavirus stuff yet. Right,

1768
02:03:00,440 --> 02:03:04,560
Speaker 1: You do get that, You understand the commercial real estate

1769
02:03:04,680 --> 02:03:08,560
Speaker 1: market that is absolutely going to implode on itself. I'm

1770
02:03:08,680 --> 02:03:12,520
Speaker 1: staring out my window at a bunch of empty skyscrapers

1771
02:03:12,600 --> 02:03:15,680
Speaker 1: that used to be full of offices. I'm working in

1772
02:03:15,760 --> 02:03:18,720
Speaker 1: an empty skyscraper. I've told you this story before, how

1773
02:03:18,800 --> 02:03:21,280
Speaker 1: I used to get to work pre coronavirus and they

1774
02:03:21,320 --> 02:03:24,480
Speaker 1: have this big, multi level parking garage here and I

1775
02:03:24,520 --> 02:03:26,760
Speaker 1: couldn't There were many days I could not find a

1776
02:03:26,800 --> 02:03:28,160
Speaker 1: place to park, and I have to go park up

1777
02:03:28,200 --> 02:03:31,520
Speaker 1: the road. I pull in my parking garage. Now there

1778
02:03:31,560 --> 02:03:34,520
Speaker 1: are five cars that are parked in the parking garage

1779
02:03:34,680 --> 02:03:39,120
Speaker 1: total every day. What do you think happened there? The

1780
02:03:39,240 --> 02:03:43,440
Speaker 1: companies aren't leasing anymore, They're pulling out. Money is owed

1781
02:03:43,480 --> 02:03:48,280
Speaker 1: that can't be paid. That there is a huge domino

1782
02:03:48,400 --> 02:03:52,240
Speaker 1: effect coming these big cities. You think it's bad now

1783
02:03:52,320 --> 02:03:54,760
Speaker 1: in the big cities with the crime and stuff. Oh,

1784
02:03:54,920 --> 02:03:58,120
Speaker 1: you may have gotten a little temporary reprieve because Joe

1785
02:03:58,160 --> 02:04:01,600
Speaker 1: Biden won the election and started stroking checks to all

1786
02:04:01,640 --> 02:04:04,920
Speaker 1: these big communist cities those are one time checks. Jack.

1787
02:04:05,640 --> 02:04:10,960
Speaker 1: You can't print money, and you dummies, with your coronavirus lockdowns,

1788
02:04:11,320 --> 02:04:14,760
Speaker 1: slaughtered your small business as you slaughtered your revenue stream

1789
02:04:14,800 --> 02:04:18,800
Speaker 1: out of the cities. The financial fallout for coronavirus will

1790
02:04:18,840 --> 02:04:24,160
Speaker 1: be felt for decades because not enough people stood up.

1791
02:04:24,560 --> 02:04:27,560
Speaker 1: So yes, I'm well aware most people will just turn

1792
02:04:27,640 --> 02:04:29,800
Speaker 1: in their guns because they don't want to get in trouble.

1793
02:04:31,840 --> 02:04:34,600
Speaker 1: You have one fully grown, seven hundred pound adult male

1794
02:04:34,640 --> 02:04:38,200
Speaker 1: grizzly bear and one thirteen hundred pound adult male moose

1795
02:04:38,480 --> 02:04:41,720
Speaker 1: in a fifty foot diameter coliseum. It's a fight to

1796
02:04:41,800 --> 02:04:45,240
Speaker 1: the death, and both are as angry as naturally possible.

1797
02:04:45,560 --> 02:04:52,480
Speaker 1: Two beast center, one beat sleeves. Who wins. The grizzly

1798
02:04:52,560 --> 02:04:56,879
Speaker 1: bear is going to win. It just has more weapons.

1799
02:04:57,560 --> 02:05:00,240
Speaker 1: And I've told the story before. I wish I could

1800
02:05:00,240 --> 02:05:02,400
Speaker 1: find it. I'd put it on the show Twitter there.

1801
02:05:02,440 --> 02:05:05,600
Speaker 1: I've seen a video of a grizzly bear dragging along

1802
02:05:05,680 --> 02:05:08,280
Speaker 1: a fully grown moose that it had killed. And it

1803
02:05:08,440 --> 02:05:11,560
Speaker 1: wasn't that it was dragging it. It was dragging it

1804
02:05:11,720 --> 02:05:14,120
Speaker 1: like you or I would carry along a piece of paper.

1805
02:05:14,680 --> 02:05:17,680
Speaker 1: It was not difficult for it at all. They're made

1806
02:05:17,720 --> 02:05:37,560
Speaker 1: of muscle. We're not quite done yet. Hang on. No

1807
02:05:37,680 --> 02:05:42,160
Speaker 1: word in English language is less convincing than probably. Are

1808
02:05:42,240 --> 02:05:46,000
Speaker 1: you sure we should get matching tattoos on our first feat? Sure?

1809
02:05:46,680 --> 02:05:51,880
Speaker 1: We'll probably stay together. Probably. It's been twenty three minutes

1810
02:05:51,920 --> 02:05:56,040
Speaker 1: since I ate. I can probably swim. You should wait

1811
02:05:56,120 --> 02:05:58,720
Speaker 1: thirty minutes. Okay, I don't tell me about to do

1812
02:05:59,240 --> 02:06:06,880
Speaker 1: candid book. Oh, cramp, I have a cramp. I can

1813
02:06:07,160 --> 02:06:14,240
Speaker 1: probably hit the green from here? Probably? Can I get

1814
02:06:14,280 --> 02:06:18,640
Speaker 1: a mulligan ready to go? Hey? Are you sure you're

1815
02:06:18,680 --> 02:06:23,960
Speaker 1: okay to drive? Yeah? I'm pretty sober. Yeah, I'm probably okay.

1816
02:06:25,560 --> 02:06:29,480
Speaker 1: Probably okay isn't okay, especially when it comes to drinking

1817
02:06:29,520 --> 02:06:32,240
Speaker 1: and driving. If you're drinking, call a cab, a car,

1818
02:06:32,520 --> 02:06:35,760
Speaker 1: or a friend. Buzz driving is drunk driving. A message

1819
02:06:35,800 --> 02:06:53,920
Speaker 1: brought to you by Nitza and AD Council. It is

1820
02:06:54,040 --> 02:06:59,320
Speaker 1: the Jesse Kelly Show. It's been an awesome day. If

1821
02:06:59,360 --> 02:07:01,080
Speaker 1: you missed any part of the show, you can catch

1822
02:07:01,120 --> 02:07:04,880
Speaker 1: a podcast of the show on iHeart, on Google, on

1823
02:07:05,040 --> 02:07:08,560
Speaker 1: Spotify and iTunes. The opening of our show today a

1824
02:07:08,880 --> 02:07:13,040
Speaker 1: sweet ancient Roman battle between the Romans and the Parsians

1825
02:07:13,120 --> 02:07:18,880
Speaker 1: and swords and bows. It was awesome. Crassis meets his end.

1826
02:07:18,960 --> 02:07:21,360
Speaker 1: You might want to catch that one. I will not

1827
02:07:21,480 --> 02:07:25,400
Speaker 1: be here tomorrow. The BK of World News with BK

1828
02:07:25,640 --> 02:07:28,880
Speaker 1: will be here tomorrow. I will be back Monday. Yes,

1829
02:07:29,000 --> 02:07:31,200
Speaker 1: I have to go do something that I'm not allowed

1830
02:07:31,240 --> 02:07:33,200
Speaker 1: to tell you about. That's why I won't be here.

1831
02:07:33,680 --> 02:07:36,760
Speaker 1: I will tell you on Monday. Don't worry. I'm not

1832
02:07:36,800 --> 02:07:38,920
Speaker 1: gonna sneak in here on Monday and act like it

1833
02:07:39,040 --> 02:07:42,040
Speaker 1: didn't happen. I'll tell you exactly where I was and

1834
02:07:42,160 --> 02:07:46,200
Speaker 1: what I was doing. Enjoy your weekend, Keep your chin up.

1835
02:07:47,600 --> 02:08:36,520
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Speaker 1: people who have these time shares and can't get out

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1839
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Speaker 1: of dollars. One girl she got past her time share

1843
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Speaker 1: when her mother passed away. She gets passed the time yer,

1844
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Speaker 1: doesn't want the time yer, doesn't use the timeshare. They

1845
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Speaker 1: thousand dollars check. This is not right, it's unjust and

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