Speaker 1: Music Saved Me.
Speaker 2: For me, like writing songs is like putting a puzzle together.
Speaker 2: It feels like when you get that like last piece,
Speaker 2: things click, everything makes sense and you're like, I won
Speaker 2: the game. I finished you know, I don't know. It
Speaker 2: feels like ex millerating.
Speaker 1: Welcome to Music Saved Me, the podcast where we explored
Speaker 1: the transformative power of music through the stories of artists
Speaker 1: who have found solace, strength, and inspiration in their craft.
Speaker 1: I'm your host, Lynn Hoffman, and today we are joined
Speaker 1: by Alexandra Savior, the Portland born singer songwriter who's haunting,
Speaker 1: atmospheric sound has captivated listeners since her breakout as a teenager.
Speaker 1: She is literally referred to as a once in a
Speaker 1: lifetime artist. She was discovered at the age of seventeen
Speaker 1: by one Courtney Love after posting a cover song online,
Speaker 1: and Alexander quickly found herself navigating the highs and the
Speaker 1: lows of the music industry, from major label deals to
Speaker 1: reclaiming her creative independence yay. She's known for her evocative
Speaker 1: songwriting and cinematic style, and is weather personal and professional storms,
Speaker 1: channeling all of her experiences into acclaimed albums like Belladonna
Speaker 1: of Sadness and the Archer. Now, with her latest release,
Speaker 1: Beneath the lily Pad, she continues to evolve, offering listeners
Speaker 1: a deeper glimpse into her world and the healing force
Speaker 1: of music. In this episode, Alexandra opens up about how
Speaker 1: music has been both a refuge and a form of
Speaker 1: self discovery, the challenges of staying authentic in an industry
Speaker 1: that often demands conformity, and the stories behind her newest work.
Speaker 1: So please join me now as we talk about resilience, creativity,
Speaker 1: and the songs that save us again and again, Alexandra Savior.
Speaker 1: Welcome to Music Saved Me. It's so great to have
Speaker 1: you here with us today.
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you for having me.
Speaker 1: So we're going to start with a hard question up front,
Speaker 1: just to get it out of the way. I think
Speaker 1: it's what a lot of people want to know, is
Speaker 1: can you share a moment in your life when music
Speaker 1: truly saved you or maybe provided a sense of solace
Speaker 1: during a particularly difficult time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that that's I think. I mean, I've
Speaker 2: had so many points in my life where music has
Speaker 2: saved me. I think probably the main one, which is
Speaker 2: also kind of connected to the making of this album
Speaker 2: was that I was hospitalized for mental illness psychosis, and
Speaker 2: I think getting out when I was out of the hospital,
Speaker 2: it really helped me, Like writing songs really helped me
Speaker 2: learn more about how my own brain chemistry works and how,
Speaker 2: you know, just what that experience was like, because it's
Speaker 2: so hard to see clearly when you're inside of it.
Speaker 2: And so I think that that was like a kind
Speaker 2: of a literal way of music saving me, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and well, especially the title underneath the lily Pad,
Speaker 1: I mean just the way you described how you would
Speaker 1: look at life from a totally different perspective. There's the
Speaker 1: top side and then there's the down deep side.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes I think like writing music for me,
Speaker 2: it's like a form of like my kind of unconscious
Speaker 2: self coming to the surface as well. And it sometimes
Speaker 2: it'll be like, years later after I arrived song, I'll
Speaker 2: be like, oh, that's what that was about. I didn't
Speaker 2: even know I had the self awareness at that time
Speaker 2: to write about the fact that I was going through
Speaker 2: this or feeling this or experiencing, you know, something in life.
Speaker 1: That's so amazing too that they be able to look
Speaker 1: back and seeing those things. Most people, regardless of your struggles,
Speaker 1: just so you know, the longer you live, the more
Speaker 1: you look back on things and you realize some meanings
Speaker 1: that you didn't even know were happening at that time.
Speaker 1: It's so true, and that's probably another reason why your
Speaker 1: work resonates with so many millions of people all around
Speaker 1: the world. How has your relationship with music evolved from
Speaker 1: the early songwriting to now, you know, in terms of
Speaker 1: maybe an emotional outlet sort of like you just sort
Speaker 1: of hinted at.
Speaker 2: Oh, you know what, I think emotionally, I don't think
Speaker 2: it's changed very much. I think like it's it's always
Speaker 2: been for me very much about like evoking emotion or
Speaker 2: you know, connecting to my feelings. I think because I
Speaker 2: have like too many feelings and I always have my
Speaker 2: whole life. So I think even when I was like
Speaker 2: starting out, when I was like sixteen, that that was
Speaker 2: still very much there. I don't think that's I don't
Speaker 2: think it's really changed much, to be honest, I've maybe
Speaker 2: I've gotten better at songwriting. I was, like, I wouldn't
Speaker 2: say I was like a prodigy of anyway it was.
Speaker 2: It took me a while to figure it out, But
Speaker 2: I think the emotional elements always kind of in the same.
Speaker 1: Well, are there are any particular songs or artists that
Speaker 1: you know, either albums that you own or others that
Speaker 1: you turn to when when you need solace or comfort.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's an album by Sybil Bear, which I feel
Speaker 2: like I always pronounced her name wrong, but it's either
Speaker 2: Sybil Bear siber Bibil Buyer. I think it's called I
Speaker 2: Lost Something in the Hills and it's I listened to
Speaker 2: that again and again. I go back to that one
Speaker 2: a lot, and I go back to a lot of
Speaker 2: Nina Simone uh and Billie Holiday and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: Stuff that maybe you grew up listening to.
Speaker 2: Yeah, things that I kind of like discovered when I
Speaker 2: was young, and like really cracked my head open. I
Speaker 2: think I.
Speaker 1: Read about your parents liking the rock and roll so
Speaker 1: that had a little something to do with it.
Speaker 2: Yeah. They were, Yeah, they were big. Yeah, my whole family,
Speaker 2: and I was kind of the the deal growing.
Speaker 1: I love it a musical family. You've talked openly about
Speaker 1: the importance of honesty in your songwriting and some of
Speaker 1: the things that I've read. How does how does being
Speaker 1: authentic in your music help you process sort of your
Speaker 1: own experiences, and what do you hope listeners of your
Speaker 1: music take away from from that honesty.
Speaker 2: It's funny because I feel like I make it. I
Speaker 2: make it a challenge when I actually feel Yeah, when
Speaker 2: I make I make a challenge for myself. When I'm
Speaker 2: writing songs or the topic of the song, the subject
Speaker 2: to be like hidden, and I think I learned that
Speaker 2: when I was making my first record. It's just like
Speaker 2: how to hide and leave little like easter eggs around
Speaker 2: within like the lyrics lyrics of the of the song.
Speaker 2: So it's interesting because I don't know if I'm very
Speaker 2: if I'm actually that honest. Sorry, I don't mean to
Speaker 2: contradict everything, but no, I don't think i'm that.
Speaker 1: I get it.
Speaker 2: I'm honest in life, but maybe not as much in
Speaker 2: my songwriting. Or maybe I just think I'm like doing
Speaker 2: a really good job hiding what's going on. But everybody knows.
Speaker 2: Have think I'm being sneaked.
Speaker 1: Well, no, you see that though you know I'm unforgivable.
Speaker 1: Let's just use this as an example. You know, when
Speaker 1: you listen to the words, and what's lovely nowadays is
Speaker 1: when you're watching someone's video online, they their words come up,
Speaker 1: so you actually know what's being sung. Yes, they didn't
Speaker 1: always do. And I was reading along as I was listening,
Speaker 1: and I kept thinking, Wow, this is incredible because it
Speaker 1: literally could fit for anyone listening with whatever they're going through.
Speaker 1: It could mean something completely different. And I don't really
Speaker 1: know what this means for her, but it but actually
Speaker 1: it's okay if it means different things to different people,
Speaker 1: would that be true?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I like that's why it's like I'm
Speaker 2: sometimes hesitant to give too much information about what a
Speaker 2: song is on a personal level, because I really want
Speaker 2: people to connect with it or like within like their
Speaker 2: own experiences, you know, and feel like it's for them
Speaker 2: and feel like it's about what they're going through in
Speaker 2: their lives. But I think also, yeah, I think the
Speaker 2: reason why, like with Unforgivable, why it's hard to tell
Speaker 2: what it's about. I think it's just like I was
Speaker 2: like kind of conditioned throughout all these experiences that I've
Speaker 2: had as a woman to keep them a secret. And
Speaker 2: I don't know if I'm quite like powerful enough to
Speaker 2: like be blatant about like what the song is about yet,
Speaker 2: you know. And so yeah, it was intentionally secret and hopefully, Well,
Speaker 2: it's it's.
Speaker 1: Tough stuff, you know, it's power empowering, it's it's an
Speaker 1: uplifting song, but it's a very serious subject matter that
Speaker 1: you're discussing, So it would make sense that you wouldn't
Speaker 1: want to divulge that information. But still it totally resonated
Speaker 1: in my life, like whether it was similar or not. So,
Speaker 1: so you are really sharing about yourself and you are
Speaker 1: that you're doing it the perfect way. You mentioned vulnerability
Speaker 1: that comes with releasing new work. How do you navigate
Speaker 1: that being so vulnerable, especially as your sound and your
Speaker 1: perspective sort of has matured through the last few years.
Speaker 2: Oh, I don't know, it's I think the vulnerability. I mean,
Speaker 2: this album in particular is probably the most vulnerable that
Speaker 2: I have been within my writing. And I think that
Speaker 2: the way that I've navigated that is that I waited
Speaker 2: five years to release it until I really was like,
Speaker 2: I don't I didn't feel ready to share any of
Speaker 2: this up until very recently, and so I think it's
Speaker 2: just like being kind to yourself and not allowing time
Speaker 2: to kind of heel and like strengthen your you know,
Speaker 2: your wounds, and like not forcing it Uh, yeah, I
Speaker 2: think not forcing anything is really important and hard as well.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well you held on to that gem for five years.
Speaker 1: That's hard. But even harder, I will say, is releasing
Speaker 1: it and then everything, the judgment, the all of that's there.
Speaker 1: Did you were you hesitant even that, like on the
Speaker 1: eve of releasing that you were nervous about it?
Speaker 2: Or it's really weird because I really it really hasn't
Speaker 2: hit me that it's like in the world. I think
Speaker 2: it's it feels very it feels like like the album
Speaker 2: came out and like I hung out with my girlfriends,
Speaker 2: we went bowling and then and then that was kind
Speaker 2: of it. And like, I it's just it's strange because
Speaker 2: I'm like I can see it on a computer that
Speaker 2: it's like on Spotify or on like available, but I
Speaker 2: can't really like because I haven't played any shows yet.
Speaker 2: I haven't really gotten to like see how it's affecting
Speaker 2: people yet, you know, and it would be more real.
Speaker 1: Yeah, man, you're in your bedroom. Yeah, become famous releasing
Speaker 1: a song from your bedroom and then you don't even
Speaker 1: really have a lot of radio stations that you can
Speaker 1: just turn on. Hey, that's me. You're just looking at
Speaker 1: downloads happening it on the internet. That's got to be strange.
Speaker 2: I pretty much had no idea what's going on with it.
Speaker 1: It's probably better that way. You just focus on doing
Speaker 1: the things that make you feel good, and it's probably
Speaker 1: better that way. Yeah. You know, early on in your career,
Speaker 1: I read that you faced a lot of pressure, you know,
Speaker 1: to fit a certain mold. I don't know if you
Speaker 1: ever heard, like, you know, Johnny Bravo from the old
Speaker 1: Brady Bunch of reference, but you know he fit the suit.
Speaker 1: So you know, how is how is music? And has
Speaker 1: music empowered you to sort of define yourself on your
Speaker 1: own terms?
Speaker 2: It's interesting because I I think like early on, I
Speaker 2: made the mistake of thinking that everybody else saw me
Speaker 2: the way that I see myself. And I made the
Speaker 2: mistake of thinking that people could see kind of all
Speaker 2: of these things that I wanted to create or hear
Speaker 2: them without them existing like outside of my brain and
Speaker 2: I think it. And then you know, having having kind
Speaker 2: of this pressure too, it made me feel like whatever
Speaker 2: I was wasn't enough. And I'm now totally forgetting a question.
Speaker 1: Oh it just you know, pressure to fit that oh yeah,
Speaker 1: and being empowered by music. That's I go there too
Speaker 1: too many thoughts, too many thought thoughts.
Speaker 2: I guess like I didn't understand why I had to
Speaker 2: fit into another mold because I thought, well, I've already
Speaker 2: got one, you know, I already am this. But you know,
Speaker 2: I think having the courage to like create, create as
Speaker 2: much as you can until you finally get it right
Speaker 2: is really what I needed. I needed time. And I
Speaker 2: think that you can't like pressure someone into figuring out
Speaker 2: who they are. You know, everybody has to figure it
Speaker 2: out on their own list. Yeah, we're all definitely on
Speaker 2: our own schedules for sure.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back with more of the Music Saved
Speaker 1: Me Podcast. And by the way, if you like this podcast,
Speaker 1: you are going to love our companion podcast called Taken
Speaker 1: a Walk. It's hosted by my dear friend and you
Speaker 1: can find it wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome back
Speaker 1: to the Music Saved Me Podcast, the podcast where we
Speaker 1: discuss the healing powers of music with some of the
Speaker 1: biggest names in music as well as up and comers.
Speaker 1: You know, I reading about you in treatment versus out
Speaker 1: of treatment, and the fact that you're willing to open
Speaker 1: up and talk about things that don't necessarily feel comfortable. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and not just you know, in your music, but who
Speaker 1: you are and your story really and I think it's
Speaker 1: really amazing because so many people don't know and then
Speaker 1: here you come and you just put it out there.
Speaker 1: Do you realize the impact that you have on others'
Speaker 1: mental health?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: No, I mean it's pretty heavy, right.
Speaker 2: I have a lot of friends. I mean, I live
Speaker 2: in Los ANGELESO, I have a lot of friends who
Speaker 2: are crazy. Oh that kind of goes with this territory.
Speaker 2: Uh so, I mean I can I can see how
Speaker 2: me having experienced that has helped like my my my
Speaker 2: friends that are that go through stuff. But yeah, I
Speaker 2: don't know. I feel like I don't really have an
Speaker 2: understanding of like outside of my personal circle, like how
Speaker 2: people or like how many people believe and listen to
Speaker 2: my music, let alone, like how they're affected by it
Speaker 2: doesn't or by my like being open about it. I
Speaker 2: don't know. I have no idea.
Speaker 1: Well, I suspect that you're going to soon find out
Speaker 1: when you start performing out to large crowds that that's
Speaker 1: a whole new experience. Yeah for you, that you're wow,
Speaker 1: I can't even wait. I got to talk to you
Speaker 1: after your major tours. Yeah, because I can't wait to
Speaker 1: hear about that. What advice. Part of the reason why
Speaker 1: I asked that question was I'd love to know some
Speaker 1: advice that you would give to young artists who are
Speaker 1: maybe struggling to maintain their individuality, you know, in an
Speaker 1: industry that really does sometimes push conformity.
Speaker 2: You know. I mean, I think it's I have like
Speaker 2: a very strong belief that no matter how much you
Speaker 2: try to, you know, say you're like, I want to
Speaker 2: write a Cayman Paula song, and you go and you
Speaker 2: look at the cord structures within the Tam and Paula songs,
Speaker 2: and you get all the same like peer you and
Speaker 2: you use the same mics and everything, and you write
Speaker 2: a Tam and Paula song like it's never going to
Speaker 2: be anything but yours. You know, You're always there, like
Speaker 2: you're always there at the center of it and what
Speaker 2: you are making, no matter how much you try to
Speaker 2: make it like someone else, it's just how it's always
Speaker 2: going to be you. And so I think being influenced
Speaker 2: by other musicians is great and keep me, always keep
Speaker 2: that there. But I think don't push too much against
Speaker 2: your instinct.
Speaker 1: That's probably the best advice I think I've ever heard
Speaker 1: anyone give. And I've talked to the biggest names in
Speaker 1: show business one hundred million albums. What you said is
Speaker 1: the number one thing instinct. Don't go against it. It
Speaker 1: will always steer you in the right direction your instinct.
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, I agree, I really feel that way. It's
Speaker 2: hard to do.
Speaker 1: My mom used to It is hard to do. My
Speaker 1: mom told me that, and I always wondered, like, how
Speaker 1: am I supposed to? How do I do that? How
Speaker 1: do I know? But you learn to listen in hindsight's
Speaker 1: always twenty twelve. Yeah, so true, thankfully. All right, let's
Speaker 1: talk about the Mothership. This is so cool. Your recent
Speaker 1: single and the upcoming work sort of showed this new
Speaker 1: direction when you first started. What sort of it's a
Speaker 1: little bit of a shift in sound, which is incredible,
Speaker 1: by the way, It's like nothing I've ever heard before.
Speaker 1: And it's absolutely it's beautiful. It's incredible to me. It's
Speaker 1: like epic to the point where it belongs. It's storytelling,
Speaker 1: just the music alone, not let alone the lyrics. It's
Speaker 1: it's fantastic. So I wondered what inspired the shift in
Speaker 1: sound and the way you tell stories.
Speaker 2: Well, so the Mothership is like one of the last
Speaker 2: songs that was added on to the to that album,
Speaker 2: And for most of this album, I think that I
Speaker 2: was really steering away from kind of my earlier music
Speaker 2: and like wanting to have a more dreamlike sort of ful,
Speaker 2: you like jazz mystical thing that I was trying to
Speaker 2: attach to. And I think the Mothership was a song
Speaker 2: that it kind of come by I like my old
Speaker 2: world in my new world. And I wrote it really quickly,
Speaker 2: like it took me, I think like twenty minutes to
Speaker 2: write and it was just like it felt really natural.
Speaker 2: I don't know, I didn't really think too much about it,
Speaker 2: to be honest, and it just kind of happened and
Speaker 2: it was the Yeah, it was one of the last
Speaker 2: songs added to the album. Whenich is funny because it's
Speaker 2: the first song. I think, while the first line.
Speaker 1: It's beautiful, it's and it for me, not saying that
Speaker 1: it was for you, but for me, it was about
Speaker 1: letting go of the old and protect it could be
Speaker 1: relationships doesn't necessarily have to be you know, personal relationships,
Speaker 1: but it was it was really cool. How did the
Speaker 1: experience of writing and recording during the pandemic influence your
Speaker 1: creative process. That was one of the time we went through,
Speaker 1: and your latest music would reflect some of that time
Speaker 1: where you were in the process of writing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was. It was eerie to be recording with
Speaker 2: like session musicians and like my friends, you know at
Speaker 2: that time, everybody wearing masks and having to sit far
Speaker 2: away from each other, and it was hard. I wanted
Speaker 2: I wanted to do it again.
Speaker 1: None of us have to.
Speaker 2: Did it.
Speaker 1: Did it have any any impact on what you wrote?
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely. I think that I was less aware of
Speaker 2: like the idea of an audience listening, or the idea
Speaker 2: of like playing live on stage with the band when
Speaker 2: I was writing. So I think that like the energy
Speaker 2: levels are like kind of similar to like where we
Speaker 2: were all at, which was just like being alone in
Speaker 2: our houses and not having like that like stat energy
Speaker 2: of like going to shows every night like I did
Speaker 2: with my second album. So yeah, I think I just
Speaker 2: made it like a different space, a different energy space.
Speaker 2: Songs really like Woo Woo, where I say that, well, Woo, I.
Speaker 1: Have a friend I call the Woo Woo girl, which
Speaker 1: all right, which which song from your latest project feels
Speaker 1: the most personal to you.
Speaker 2: I guess, you know, I really like I feel very
Speaker 2: connected to Hark And there's also a song called the Harvest,
Speaker 2: there's Thoughtless and those are very personal for me.
Speaker 1: What is it that you think it is about music
Speaker 1: that that makes it's such a powerful force, you know,
Speaker 1: for healing and connection, not just for the artists but
Speaker 1: also for the listeners. You know, is it the writing,
Speaker 1: is it the you know, the the actual physical sound
Speaker 1: it creates. Is it the artist? What do you think
Speaker 1: all of that is? Why why it's so powerful?
Speaker 2: I don't know. I think music is just such a
Speaker 2: unique force. I think it's the most indescribable experience that
Speaker 2: we have as humans. Like I mean, it's like it's
Speaker 2: like a vapor essentially of like emotion wherehich is crazy
Speaker 2: and I think, I mean, I think a lot of
Speaker 2: it lies within like the performance aspect. I think, like
Speaker 2: a good performance is like really what brings that fearing?
Speaker 2: It's really hard. I think it's really hard to try
Speaker 2: and understand what it is that like is so powerful
Speaker 2: on what affects us? I have no idea, I have
Speaker 2: no I keep it right, like.
Speaker 1: What produces that euphoria or those endorphins or that excitement.
Speaker 1: And you know, obviously when you're when you're making songs,
Speaker 1: do you get that feeling when you hear it? Is
Speaker 1: that how you know, oh this is good? You know
Speaker 1: when you hear it back to yourself.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it kind of feels like for me, like writing
Speaker 2: songs is like putting a puzzle together. It feels like
Speaker 2: when you get that like last piece, things click, everything
Speaker 2: makes sense and you're like, I won the game. I finished,
Speaker 2: you know, I don't know. It feels like it's villerating.
Speaker 1: I'm a songmaster. I love that. That's really good, and
Speaker 1: it really is subjective if you think about it. So
Speaker 1: for you to have that reaction, and now that you've
Speaker 1: had some success and a couple hundred million downloads nothing
Speaker 1: too shabby on Spotify alone, I mean that obviously means
Speaker 1: you've hit on the right note. But I just wondered
Speaker 1: if you ever thought what exactly it was about it
Speaker 1: that resonated?
Speaker 2: Was it? You know? I literally have no idea. I
Speaker 2: can't even believe it. And it's very confused there.
Speaker 1: All right, Well, let me unconfuse you and ask you
Speaker 1: a couple of quick, quick questions before I let you go,
Speaker 1: because I really appreciate your time. I know you're busy.
Speaker 1: One is what song or any song by any artist
Speaker 1: that I think you may have answered this in the
Speaker 1: beginning that never fails to lift your spirits?
Speaker 2: Oh? Wow?
Speaker 1: What song that always makes you feel happy? Like the
Speaker 1: minute you put it on, your whole attitude changes.
Speaker 2: I think Kathy's song by Simon and Garfunk Goal is
Speaker 2: my like cool shivers and like I feel nostalgia and
Speaker 2: I just think, yeah, beautiful, beautiful song.
Speaker 1: Wow, you're an old soul, especially musically. And the last
Speaker 1: question is if you could collaborate with any artist living
Speaker 1: or not alive, who would it be and what kind
Speaker 1: of song would you want to create together.
Speaker 2: That's a good question. I think about this a lot.
Speaker 2: I want to say Leonard Cohen, because I also wish
Speaker 2: that then he would some have fall in love with
Speaker 2: me and he would get there.
Speaker 1: Well sweet, that's so sweet. I love that. Yeah, just
Speaker 1: go right to the top.
Speaker 2: I guess I would. I would say I don't. I
Speaker 2: don't know what kind of song it would be, but
Speaker 2: if it would eventually lead to love, that would be
Speaker 2: really fun. And then I wouldn't want to I wouldn't
Speaker 2: want to collaborate with another singer, so it's really hard
Speaker 2: because I would never dare I mean, Leonard's a singer,
Speaker 2: but I don't know. I guess that's my answer.
Speaker 1: You could do harmony though, Yeah. Well, Alexander Savior, it
Speaker 1: has been such a pleasure to have you on the
Speaker 1: show and to talk to you and to hear your stories,
Speaker 1: and I'm so excited for your for your new release,
Speaker 1: Beneath the Lily pat is what it's called, and the
Speaker 1: first single out is the Mothership or is it Unforgivable?
Speaker 2: Unforgivable is the first one? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Awesome. Well, you will not be disappointed. And if you
Speaker 1: get a chance to see her perform live, whoa. The
Speaker 1: music is one thing, but then if you're in the
Speaker 1: room with it happening, it's a whole other level. So
Speaker 1: hopefully you'll check her out, and hopefully you'll come back
Speaker 1: and visit us again soon.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I hope though, Thank you so much for having
Speaker 2: me