Speaker 1: I'm Anny, I'm Noah. This is and this is no
Speaker 1: such thing. The show where we settle our dumb arguments
Speaker 1: and yours by actually doing the research.
Speaker 2: On today's episode, the number.
Speaker 3: Uf child is not available at present. Please leave your
Speaker 3: message after the beep.
Speaker 2: It's the NST Hotline.
Speaker 1: We'll be giving advice about B list wedding invites, whether
Speaker 1: you should side with your spouse or your mother, hat
Speaker 1: etiquette and Hallway etiquette, and then stick around for our.
Speaker 2: Gift guide for this holiday season.
Speaker 4: There's no no such thing, no such thing, no such thing,
Speaker 4: such thing, such a thing.
Speaker 1: All right, I think let's start with this question about
Speaker 1: wedding b list invites.
Speaker 5: Hey, Manny, Noah, and Devin. I'm a longtime listener of
Speaker 5: the podcast. I had kind of a weird question. I'll
Speaker 5: just jump right into it. I'm engaged and getting married
Speaker 5: next year, and we are currently in the phases of
Speaker 5: narrowing down our guest list. We obviously have an a
Speaker 5: list people we need to be there, but we also
Speaker 5: have some people that we would like to be there
Speaker 5: if space opened up. We were chatting it that was
Speaker 5: appropriate to have a B list wedding invite list of
Speaker 5: other friends that we would love to see again if
Speaker 5: the space opened up. My friend under saying it would
Speaker 5: be no big deal to have a B list, Whereas
Speaker 5: I think if I found out I was on the
Speaker 5: B list and I got an invitation a two months
Speaker 5: before the wedding, I would feel like an afterthought. So
Speaker 5: my question, in short, is is it appropriate to have
Speaker 5: a B list of wedding invites at your own wedding?
Speaker 3: All right?
Speaker 1: So despite the fact that I am married, I've not
Speaker 1: had to deal with this. Only one of us have
Speaker 1: had to deal with wedding invites. So Noah, first of all,
Speaker 1: I just want to get your take on this. Did
Speaker 1: you have a B list?
Speaker 2: No, because we really only did one round of invites,
Speaker 2: but there were certainly when we were making the initial list,
Speaker 2: of course, Like she says, it's like, all right, you
Speaker 2: have family, extended family, people who have to be there,
Speaker 2: people involved in the wedding, of course, and then you're like, okay,
Speaker 2: well who else, Like who are the friends we would invite?
Speaker 3: Are there work people, whatever?
Speaker 2: We didn't have a bee where we didn't do two rounds.
Speaker 2: I think if we had gotten a lot of people
Speaker 2: who couldn't make it, whether you know, family or whoever
Speaker 2: that couldn't fly out or something like that. We would
Speaker 2: have added more. I mean with the vent, like our venue,
Speaker 2: we had a minimum amount of people that we were
Speaker 2: paying for no matter what, and then you pay per
Speaker 2: person on top of that. My view is I think
Speaker 2: it's okay to do. I think anyone who's going to
Speaker 2: be on the B list probably knows they're on the
Speaker 2: B list. Like within your friend groups, there are people
Speaker 2: you talk to regularly, and then there's people I see
Speaker 2: every couple of months who wouldn't be surprised if they're
Speaker 2: not invited to my wedding. That's limited, like if I
Speaker 2: was having a thousand person wedding. Some people do have
Speaker 2: huge weddings and they invite everyone they've ever met, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, that's cool. So similarly, if I received an
Speaker 2: invite that seemed suspiciously close to the date, yeah, I
Speaker 2: wouldn't be in sold because it's probably someone I barely
Speaker 2: talk to and I'm like, cool, it seems fun, like
Speaker 2: I always liked them, and I'll go if it's convenient.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I feel the same way.
Speaker 1: If I got an invite that was like two months
Speaker 1: away from wedding, it would be number one very clear
Speaker 1: that like some room became available.
Speaker 2: But I don't think i'd be offended.
Speaker 1: There were a couple of weddings in my life that
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I kind of thought i'd be
Speaker 1: invited to that, but it wasn't like it wasn't like
Speaker 1: fuck them.
Speaker 2: It was like I was immediately like, all right.
Speaker 1: They must have you know, very limited space, and I
Speaker 1: don't see them all the time, you know. So I
Speaker 1: like the idea of b lists. I mean, I think
Speaker 1: it's kind of it's still nice. You're still getting invited
Speaker 1: to the most important day in someone's life, even if
Speaker 1: you know, even if you don't really care.
Speaker 2: As I think, it's like they can maybe avoid this
Speaker 2: depending on when the wedding is. If they send out
Speaker 2: the invites really early, then at least the second wave
Speaker 2: can come right and they you know, they say please
Speaker 2: actually if you by this, you can have it a
Speaker 2: little bit farther back. So it's not like, Okay, we're
Speaker 2: trying like we need to fill these tables because otherwise
Speaker 2: I'm going to be out, you know, a couple of thousand,
Speaker 2: you know, so we need to be honest with each
Speaker 2: other about Yeah, yeah, it's the same with plus ones,
Speaker 2: where it's like we didn't give we didn't give like
Speaker 2: plus ones to everyone or really most people. It was
Speaker 2: kind of like if you ask, then we could see
Speaker 2: what the numbers were shaking out based on other rs vps.
Speaker 2: And then it's like and like, if I know you
Speaker 2: don't know anyone there, or like you're gonna be, you know,
Speaker 2: sitting there by yourself, that's one thing. If you're coming
Speaker 2: by yourself and I know you know at least ten
Speaker 2: other people, I don't feel like I don't need you
Speaker 2: to bring some random person respectfully.
Speaker 3: It's like it's not free.
Speaker 2: It's like and now it's like, now, great, so this
Speaker 2: other person's here, this random person for no for really
Speaker 2: no reason other than like you wanted someone to drive
Speaker 2: up with, which is fair. But it's like it's in
Speaker 2: those scenarios, it's kind of like, you know, respectfully again,
Speaker 2: if you can't make it because of that, yeah, i'll
Speaker 2: see it. I'll see you next time. No hard feelings.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 6: What I thought when I first heard this is what
Speaker 6: if there was a way to like put people on
Speaker 6: a waiting list.
Speaker 3: That's you know, that's especially what it is.
Speaker 6: Talking a lot about. But we're doing a lot of
Speaker 6: like okay, behind closed door stuff. What if you were
Speaker 6: really upfront with people and you sent out to save
Speaker 6: the dates and you sent them a save the date
Speaker 6: that said, hey, would.
Speaker 3: Love to have you there, save the date because limited
Speaker 3: we might need you.
Speaker 6: We you know, if things open, if some family close
Speaker 6: family members can't.
Speaker 2: Make it, that's more than that's more.
Speaker 3: I'm on the way.
Speaker 2: I'm supposed to save this day a year from now
Speaker 2: and you know, prime maybe prime travel time and be.
Speaker 3: Like, oh well what if what if they can't make it?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would like to be surprised with an invite,
Speaker 1: And then it's like it's up to me if I
Speaker 1: wanted to, because it's.
Speaker 3: You'd rather not know ahead of time and have a
Speaker 3: last one.
Speaker 2: Because the B List one, it's like no pressure that
Speaker 2: you know, inviter can't get mad if I can't make
Speaker 2: it on shorter notice, it's like, well, no one, neither
Speaker 2: of us expected to be No.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 3: I think it's the same expectations, right, Like, if.
Speaker 2: I'm sending you a B List invite, I don't really
Speaker 2: expect you to be there.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I always have the same expectations,
Speaker 6: even if I were sending something ahead of time, is
Speaker 6: what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: Even if you got the note earlier, I think you're
Speaker 3: going to insult that person more.
Speaker 2: But I'm thinking the way better.
Speaker 4: Is it?
Speaker 1: Like you go on a website, it seems like a
Speaker 1: like dice FM that music tickets thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry, I'll.
Speaker 2: Take it, but we'll text you.
Speaker 3: Yeah you get a couple of hours before.
Speaker 6: Yeah, or like Rezie, I like your suggestion of doing
Speaker 6: the invites earlier so that you can do it.
Speaker 3: Like it's not like I mean, that's just good advice
Speaker 3: no matter what. Yeah, you get your number locked in.
Speaker 6: Okay, say you're sending the B list, you even say
Speaker 6: anything in your scenario, do you say what you just said?
Speaker 3: You just open up or do you just send it
Speaker 3: like it's normal. I think I sent in.
Speaker 2: I think if it was someone like like someone in
Speaker 2: my head, like like yeah, we don't need to have
Speaker 2: his name in here, we're not that close, but like
Speaker 2: we text and like I like seeing him.
Speaker 3: Yeah he's someone I could.
Speaker 2: Have seen making it on that B list. Yes, I
Speaker 2: think for him I would have texted because one he
Speaker 2: would also he's married, he would he would get it.
Speaker 3: Yeah too, So him.
Speaker 2: I would probably send the invite and then I like, hey,
Speaker 2: we're sending a thing like YadA YadA other people. I'm
Speaker 2: trying to think what an example of that other person
Speaker 2: would that I that I'm close enough to want to invite. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I wouldn't text, but I could see just sending it
Speaker 2: and be like hey, if they do it, then great. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think i'd be like some perpheral family person or yeah.
Speaker 6: I think the text would be just more so like
Speaker 6: giving context, so like wow, you're getting the things. Also
Speaker 6: be on the lookout for it because it's like we
Speaker 6: kind of need an answer right now.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's true. But to your point, the whole idea
Speaker 3: of a B list is like if they're not there,
Speaker 3: it's not going to ruin your day. Yeah.
Speaker 6: Yeah, so I don't think it really matters how you
Speaker 6: send it out. Well, yeah, because if they don't show up,
Speaker 6: you don't really care. Otherwise they would.
Speaker 3: Be on the A list and hopefully that's mutual too.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Like just like so many other things that and like
Speaker 2: we've talked about. I think maybe on one of our
Speaker 2: past advice ones where it's like woman was asking about
Speaker 2: how to make friends or something and it's like, yeah,
Speaker 2: like you just kind of you can't force some things,
Speaker 2: and not everyone's going to be your best or one
Speaker 2: of your twenty best friends or whatever.
Speaker 3: You have to understand that.
Speaker 6: I would say that the only way you I think
Speaker 6: it's justified to be insulted is if you feel like
Speaker 6: you're closer to the person and other people who are
Speaker 6: on the A list.
Speaker 2: Like if you're if you're a definite A list for
Speaker 2: that person in whatever scenario they're getting married. I mean
Speaker 2: it's tough because it's like, well, sometimes it happens.
Speaker 6: Yeah, sometimes you're probably rare, but sometimes someone in your
Speaker 6: life you're better friends, at least in your mind you're
Speaker 6: better friends with them than they are to you. Oh
Speaker 6: have I ever told this story? This is the infamous
Speaker 6: I call it. I think the firefly exchange firefly, that
Speaker 6: amazing fly.
Speaker 3: I'll make it really quick.
Speaker 6: And we were camping out and there was this campsite
Speaker 6: next to us, and this guy was introducing his friend
Speaker 6: to the group and he said, Hey, this is like
Speaker 6: one of my best friends, Manny.
Speaker 3: That wasn't his name, but.
Speaker 6: And the guy stopped him and he said, oh, we're
Speaker 6: not best friends, we're kind of.
Speaker 3: Like, damn, maybe good acquaintances, but he it was it
Speaker 3: was not a joke. He wasn't like trying to first
Speaker 3: guy said.
Speaker 1: The first guy said, best friend, one of my best friends,
Speaker 1: one of my best friends.
Speaker 3: Yea, the one of is doing heavy lifting.
Speaker 2: At least, it's like invited, is correcting the main guy.
Speaker 3: And it wasn't a joke. It wasn't like yeah, because
Speaker 3: I could I could see that would be a funny joke.
Speaker 3: But no, he was dead serious. What was the reaction,
Speaker 3: It was like kind of silence.
Speaker 2: Why would you do that?
Speaker 3: I mean, but they're not gonna be good friends anymore.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's definitely a B listen.
Speaker 3: But but ye exactly.
Speaker 6: You know, so that one person, that guy maybe is
Speaker 6: his best man, and then the other guy like he's
Speaker 6: on the B list if invited at all. So there
Speaker 6: are those situations where you're gonna have a different relationship
Speaker 6: with the person than they maybe have with you, or
Speaker 6: you rank them higher.
Speaker 2: So much is based on the scale of the wedding.
Speaker 2: Yeah too, because like it is also easy when it's
Speaker 2: like a smaller wedding to be like sorry, like there's
Speaker 2: no space, it's only gonna be forty people.
Speaker 1: Whatever, Well, let's give an official piece of advice for
Speaker 1: this woman. I think she should do a B list
Speaker 1: if it's gonna make her feel better. I don't think
Speaker 1: that many people receiving the b Liss invite will be insulted.
Speaker 1: If some of them are insulted.
Speaker 3: If you think they're gonna be insulted, don't invite them.
Speaker 3: I think. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think you know, make your clear list of who
Speaker 2: you'd need, your need to have, and then after that
Speaker 2: have in your background. All right, if people fall out,
Speaker 2: this is what I'm gonna do, and I think it's
Speaker 2: totally okay to do and try to do it. You know,
Speaker 2: if you need to bump up the rs VP date
Speaker 2: a little, hopefully to make that smoother, then I think
Speaker 2: do so. I think people give way too much time
Speaker 2: for r s VP. Great, it's because then we were
Speaker 2: waiting for people to r VP that I knew were
Speaker 2: going to come. It's like I'm texting people, you know,
Speaker 2: a couple of months. It's like I know you're gonna like,
Speaker 2: please just tell me, or like if you're not tell me,
Speaker 2: because then I'd figure out something else.
Speaker 1: All right, This one's like tangentially related. Okay, Hey, guys,
Speaker 1: tough question for my favorite hot takers that I need
Speaker 1: your hot takes on.
Speaker 2: Okay, this is a thought.
Speaker 1: Once you get married, is your allegiance to your spouse
Speaker 1: or your family? For example, if your mom and wife
Speaker 1: have issues, who's in the right?
Speaker 2: How should you respond?
Speaker 1: All my love to one of the best podcasts ever, Nicky,
Speaker 1: Nice and simple, very simple. This one's This one's hilarious
Speaker 1: because it's like, obviously ideally you're in the middle, like
Speaker 1: like that you're going in with a default, right, Like
Speaker 1: I need to always agree with this one.
Speaker 2: For the sake of the question. If you had to
Speaker 2: choose one, what would you go with?
Speaker 6: Well, first of all, my mom has only met one
Speaker 6: person I've been dating and they've never gotten in a fight.
Speaker 2: But it's kind of a classic American Yeah.
Speaker 6: People love to talk about it, but you know, and
Speaker 6: maybe it's just my personal experience, but I haven't had
Speaker 6: a ton of experience with like my mom's saying something
Speaker 6: in the person, my partner is saying something else, and
Speaker 6: like having the side between its you.
Speaker 2: I think it's a lot more once people have kids
Speaker 2: and there's grandparents and they're fighting about there's more stuff
Speaker 2: to figure bigger sticks.
Speaker 6: But yeah, I mean I think it's yeah to me
Speaker 6: just in the abstract. I think it depends on what
Speaker 6: the specifics of the conversation. I think this's weird, like
Speaker 6: you have the you know your mom is your mom.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. I don't really have you all
Speaker 3: had experience with.
Speaker 2: This, not really.
Speaker 1: I mean I'm lucky that my family and me as family,
Speaker 1: that we're all beta's, Like we're all just like whatever's
Speaker 1: gonna make whatever's gonna make this work the best.
Speaker 2: And I think if you're in a scenario.
Speaker 1: Where there's like a real issue happening, I would say
Speaker 1: you should try your best to be like a mediator
Speaker 1: versus someone who's like, I gotta roll with my mom
Speaker 1: on this one, or I gotta roll with my wife
Speaker 1: because that's some allegiance that I have to have. I
Speaker 1: will say, you've married someone, you've set off on a
Speaker 1: new life. You live with that person, you live with
Speaker 1: that you want to make your family happy, of course,
Speaker 1: but you are with someone every day that's probably the
Speaker 1: person who you want to lean towards in the event
Speaker 1: there's like some kind of unsolvable issue.
Speaker 3: So you're saying you lean towards your partner.
Speaker 6: I think that is a general consensus, which is like,
Speaker 6: you know, you chose me or whatever.
Speaker 3: It's like, yeah, what I hear people say that.
Speaker 2: I think i'd lean that way too, as far as
Speaker 2: like in the immediate, like I've gotta lean towards this,
Speaker 2: but I'm gonna say, like, let's go easy on on
Speaker 2: mom exactly.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: The thing is this builds.
Speaker 2: And then it's like, all right now, thirty year whatever,
Speaker 2: the rest of my life, they're just gonna hate each other, yeah,
Speaker 2: or then the mom thinks, you know, here's this evil
Speaker 2: wife taking me away or changing me. So I think
Speaker 2: in the day to day you should lean with your partner.
Speaker 2: But I don't think it's like it's certainly not as
Speaker 2: simple as like, oh my wife's always right, Yeah, my
Speaker 2: mom's always wrong, because that's what I chose to do
Speaker 2: right now.
Speaker 1: I wish we knew what Nicky's situation was. Nicky seems
Speaker 1: like this might be happening in her life, and I
Speaker 1: think it's just a competitive situation as there's probably some
Speaker 1: natural like from your parents or family, there's probably some
Speaker 1: quite natural sentiments of we're seeing our son less often.
Speaker 1: That's that probably hurts a little bit there, you might
Speaker 1: and then they might be like trying to find ways
Speaker 1: to hold on to what they do have left. But
Speaker 1: I just think it's you know, that probably happened when
Speaker 1: they got married, Like this is kind of a natural
Speaker 1: cycle of life.
Speaker 2: It sounds like, Manny, you're similar my family and you
Speaker 2: know my wife's family. It seems like the parents were
Speaker 2: never I think, you know, at least, it's very much
Speaker 2: a trope. It's like the very protective parents and to
Speaker 2: be who want to be hating, like want to find
Speaker 2: something wrong with the person, versus my family was the
Speaker 2: opposite where they definitely wanted to like anyone and then
Speaker 2: if there's flaws or something, that's the secondary issue, versus
Speaker 2: the inverse, which is like like.
Speaker 3: What are you gonna do with my son?
Speaker 7: I know?
Speaker 1: And like your face gets this guy married, So I
Speaker 1: think I think that's the you know, a good thing,
Speaker 1: and then everyone wants to get along versus like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I never liked her.
Speaker 2: There has to be good yeah, good intentions, right, so
Speaker 2: you don't want to be like it has to be
Speaker 2: exactly my way, yata YadA, find some compromise position. I
Speaker 2: think that's kind of how I feel about all this stuff.
Speaker 1: A lot of it feels like, you know, addressing what
Speaker 1: is the biggest fire. So just to use a tired analogy,
Speaker 1: like you probably want to do the fire that's closest
Speaker 1: to you, like well.
Speaker 3: Day to day.
Speaker 6: Yeah, put on your own mask before my mask around
Speaker 6: you you're living with is your mask?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think, Yeah, I think that makes sense just
Speaker 2: for your own survival. But everyone should try to get
Speaker 2: along walking each other's shoes exactly, use another one. Honestly,
Speaker 2: I feel like that's the biggest deterrent to understanding, like
Speaker 2: solving some kind of problem is not being able to
Speaker 2: see that person's perspective. Yeah, I feel like that would
Speaker 2: go a long way, Nikki if you consider.
Speaker 3: This, but don't, Yeah, don't go crazy. Be nice to
Speaker 3: your mom, all right.
Speaker 1: The next question here is from Michael, who is wondering
Speaker 1: whether his friends are being a little rude to him
Speaker 1: when he asks them questions.
Speaker 8: Hi, Manny, Noah, Devin.
Speaker 9: My name is Michael.
Speaker 3: I am fifty three years old.
Speaker 9: The reason I mentioned my age is because I wanted
Speaker 9: to mention that I've been on the internet since about
Speaker 9: nineteen ninety two. About fifteen years ago, we had a
Speaker 9: big joke running around which was when you say to someone,
Speaker 9: let me google that for you. So, in other words,
Speaker 9: you tell someone I need to do X, Y or
Speaker 9: Z and they say I don't know.
Speaker 8: What why is and you say, well, let me google
Speaker 8: that for you. And I've kind of a put down
Speaker 8: out of style now. But now I am encountering something
Speaker 8: new in this universe, and that is that I will
Speaker 8: ask a question to my social circles, and more often
Speaker 8: than not, what I'm getting now is someone giving me
Speaker 8: a link to an artificial intelligence LLM engine or something
Speaker 8: from kind of chat GBT or Google AI studio or
Speaker 8: some other various engine.
Speaker 9: And I'm beginning to frankly feel insulted. I wonder if
Speaker 9: I should check that as an insult, And so I
Speaker 9: wonder if you guys have any comments about that from
Speaker 9: your own human perspective. Thank you very much.
Speaker 1: This one's really funny. I think that you're right to
Speaker 1: be insulted. The main reason being that CHATGBT and lms
Speaker 1: get shit wrong all the time, so they're selling you
Speaker 1: that you should just go to this machine to ask
Speaker 1: this question, but the information is wrong. So if you're
Speaker 1: wanting to figure something out and you're asking someone who
Speaker 1: might have some kind of knowledge about the issue, and
Speaker 1: then they send you that link.
Speaker 2: I would be insulted.
Speaker 6: Let me say this, I think we're maybe missing the
Speaker 6: larger thing at play here, And I will say I
Speaker 6: used to be this person. I think we all to
Speaker 6: some degree and our younger selves, we used to be
Speaker 6: this person when we used to work together. We love
Speaker 6: to say, like we would literally send each other let
Speaker 6: me google it for you.
Speaker 3: I remember this, Yeah, links when people would ask the question. Look,
Speaker 3: And I think there's degrees to this, right.
Speaker 6: I think there's people who ask questions for stuff that's
Speaker 6: just like, my god, the amount of time that you
Speaker 6: spent asking me this question, you could have just gotten
Speaker 6: the answer. But what I've learned, you know, as I've
Speaker 6: gotten older, is a lot of times it's not about
Speaker 6: the question itself, exactly right. People are just trying. You know,
Speaker 6: people ask questions all the time in conversation, and of
Speaker 6: course they could just google and look up. But part
Speaker 6: of it is like the conversation that you're having building
Speaker 6: a bond with these people, So it's not about actually
Speaker 6: finding the answer. It's like, Hey, I'm interested in this thing.
Speaker 6: You guys want to talk about it. About this This is
Speaker 6: my way into talking.
Speaker 3: About it with you guys.
Speaker 1: Total, that's what it sounds like where Michael's coming from exactly.
Speaker 1: And I think I want to engage in a dialogue
Speaker 1: about this. Yeah, here's my jumping off point.
Speaker 6: So I don't you know, we talk a lot about
Speaker 6: AI in our day to day lives. I think we
Speaker 6: blame a lot of stuff on AI. But I think
Speaker 6: this is just like, like you said, this used to
Speaker 6: people used to do this with Google.
Speaker 3: This is just like the latest iteration.
Speaker 2: Of a good point.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and I think he should Michael, right, that's his name. Yeah,
Speaker 6: maybe you should just be upfront and be like, hey, actually,
Speaker 6: I just want to talk about this.
Speaker 2: That would just be like what do you think? Yeah,
Speaker 2: what do you think about this? Obviously depends on what
Speaker 2: the question is, Like if it is a fact check thing,
Speaker 2: I do see why someone would be like like, I
Speaker 2: don't know what Scenarioo's talking about, but it's like, Okay,
Speaker 2: I saw this thing online, Like is that true? That
Speaker 2: could be something where it is like okay, I need
Speaker 2: to just go on whether it's an AI thing or
Speaker 2: like Snopes or whatever and see like is this real?
Speaker 2: But it still is like what do you think or like,
Speaker 2: what do you know about this? Right, And that's the
Speaker 2: human element of it, whether or not you can verify
Speaker 2: this information already know the answer already, it's like, well,
Speaker 2: what do you know about this? What can you bring
Speaker 2: to this discussion we're having or I'm trying to have? Yeah,
Speaker 2: apparently nothing. They just send them. Yeah, yeah, so I
Speaker 2: could see why someone would try to just send the link,
Speaker 2: but yeah, I think ultimately, like Devins saying, most of
Speaker 2: the time, they're not going to you because you're expected
Speaker 2: to be a you know, encyclopedic. Yeah, like you answer yeah,
Speaker 2: they want to know what you know and then see
Speaker 2: and then you know later on if you need to,
Speaker 2: then you can be like, all right, let's actually look
Speaker 2: into this somewhere.
Speaker 3: Elseeah, go to a podcast.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But there's also there is an added layer of dismissiveness,
Speaker 1: like what we used to do is let me google that.
Speaker 1: It's like you could be like you should google that,
Speaker 1: or you say something along the lines, but sending the
Speaker 1: thing is supposed to be an insult, so like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, this guy is feeling insulted.
Speaker 2: He's probably in the right.
Speaker 1: Of course, there are degrees to this, like you were saying, like,
Speaker 1: sometimes people ask me like, you know, what time does
Speaker 1: this store open or whatever, like what when's the game tonight?
Speaker 1: And then sometimes I'm like, okay, you could you could
Speaker 1: have just you know, check that yourself. But yeah, I
Speaker 1: think it's it's easy to forget why someone would ask
Speaker 1: a simple question like that, which is that they're just
Speaker 1: engaging in human, regular human interaction. And if someone's asking
Speaker 1: me what time is the New York Knicks game, maybe
Speaker 1: that that's that is just the beginning of the conversation
Speaker 1: that we.
Speaker 6: Were and maybe they want to see if you're going
Speaker 6: to a bar and want to go with you. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 6: I would think, Okay, what why is this person? If
Speaker 6: you're receiving this, This is what I've started to do,
Speaker 6: you know, over the last I feel like I've been
Speaker 6: much better about this, being like why is this person
Speaker 6: actually setting me this? Okay, before I give this like
Speaker 6: dismissive response like you were saying earlier, many put myself
Speaker 6: in their shoes. Yeah, and Okay, this person is asking
Speaker 6: me about the game. Maybe they actually want to have
Speaker 6: a conversation about it, so I can respond and maybe
Speaker 6: add a little bit more detail about the game.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, I mean I've I find myself doing
Speaker 1: this too sometimes, where like recently I asked my cousin
Speaker 1: when the college football playoffs are and then he sent
Speaker 1: me He didn't send me let me google that. He
Speaker 1: sent me like the official collegeball playoffs page. And then
Speaker 1: I realized, oh, I could have easily just done that,
Speaker 1: but subconsciously we were talking about football that I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: when is that again?
Speaker 6: Well, I think part of it is just like establishing
Speaker 6: or re establishing like points of connection with people, right,
Speaker 6: Like so much of our interactions nowadays are through stuff
Speaker 6: like that, right, sending people links and like asking simple questions. Right,
Speaker 6: It's like you may not see these people day to day,
Speaker 6: but it's like just texting to ask a simple question
Speaker 6: or send the link is like, oh okay, I'm keeping
Speaker 6: in touch with this person in some way.
Speaker 1: Why we talk about why, hey, the weather outside, it's
Speaker 1: like small talk.
Speaker 2: Shit, it's the same thing.
Speaker 3: I think.
Speaker 2: It's like why it's sometimes nice to go to a
Speaker 2: store to get something that you could just as easily
Speaker 2: or yeah again the next day or.
Speaker 3: That later that day.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like sometimes it's nice to just do things.
Speaker 2: See people I don't know, see the person of the
Speaker 2: story is going to not make eye contact, totally ignore me.
Speaker 1: Now, the worst thing is when someone will ask a
Speaker 1: question that has been answered previously in the conversation.
Speaker 2: Just scroll up and get like we've talked about you,
Speaker 2: like look two inches up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it happens.
Speaker 2: That happens so often.
Speaker 1: But you know what, Michael, I think you should feel
Speaker 1: insulted because I think there's a little bit of intentionally
Speaker 1: petty dismissive behavior when they're just sending you that link. Now,
Speaker 1: if if on your end you do you're just wanting
Speaker 1: to start a conversation, I think you should tell them that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, or just rephrase your question. Yeah, just say like,
Speaker 3: what do you think about that?
Speaker 2: Or whatever, like add whatever next step to it, if
Speaker 2: that's the response we're getting, or beforehand, even like in
Speaker 2: the initial question, yeah, or if you want to follow
Speaker 2: this and be like, hey, the information on these ll
Speaker 2: ms is really not accurate that so actually I'm asking.
Speaker 1: You yeah, yeah, all right, after the break, we're going
Speaker 1: to be fielding a few more questions here from the
Speaker 1: ns TEA hotline about milk hats and apartment Hallway etiquette.
Speaker 3: Hi, big fan of the show.
Speaker 7: I'm calling to ask your take on hat etiquette because
Speaker 7: when I was a kid, my parents said it was
Speaker 7: rude to wear a hat inside anywhere, including our house. Now,
Speaker 7: when I go out with my friends as an adult
Speaker 7: and I want to wear a hat, I ask them
Speaker 7: can I wear a hat there?
Speaker 10: And they always make fun of me.
Speaker 3: They say, you can wear a hat anywhere.
Speaker 5: But I don't know about that.
Speaker 7: What do you think is it rude to wear a
Speaker 7: hat to some places or is it universally okay to
Speaker 7: wear a hat out?
Speaker 3: It's a good question.
Speaker 1: That's incredible that you you're asking people if you should
Speaker 1: wear a hat somewhere. I mean, I guess like the
Speaker 1: norms have changed since the nineteen fifties or whatever.
Speaker 3: It hasn't been that. I'll think about it. In school,
Speaker 3: you could wear a hat, Yeah, it's true.
Speaker 6: I think even in yeah, even in the last I
Speaker 6: think since we've been in high school, it has changed,
Speaker 6: because I do remember when we were in high school.
Speaker 6: That was when things were starting to change, and it
Speaker 6: was a similar thing of parents would be like, why
Speaker 6: are you wearing your like place like Applebee's.
Speaker 2: I definitely remember the restaurant. Yeah, just like if you're
Speaker 2: in a restaurant, you can't wearing a hat. Y.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's really funny. I don't remember this as much.
Speaker 1: I remember it as like an old timey like in
Speaker 1: TV shows or whatever.
Speaker 6: What would always be it wouldn't be peer to peer,
Speaker 6: would be parents. Yea, how I was encountered with parents
Speaker 6: being like, you shouldn't be wearing And also I think
Speaker 6: it's different like what I learned, who was different between
Speaker 6: men and women to wear hats and a lot more.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's I was.
Speaker 2: I think I had only read this the voice text.
Speaker 2: I assumed it was a man asking just because that's
Speaker 2: the context of what I heard.
Speaker 3: That still where it's like a.
Speaker 1: Guy in a baseball cap basically, yeah, not like a
Speaker 1: woman with a woman in a hat.
Speaker 6: Yeah, when I think you usually get a little bit
Speaker 6: more leeway with this alshow like, you know, usually they're
Speaker 6: putting on a hat, they have some sort of hairstyle
Speaker 6: taking off the hat.
Speaker 3: If it's a good beep, it's.
Speaker 1: Much more part of their look than like I'm going
Speaker 1: out and throwing on my you know, yeah ace cap
Speaker 1: or whatever. Right, Obviously, it is highly dependent on the
Speaker 1: exact scenario, but yeah, I do not. I don't think
Speaker 1: it's rude to wear hats inside today.
Speaker 3: I think in ninety nine for someone.
Speaker 2: Who's wearing a hat car Yeah.
Speaker 6: I think for especially for women, for ninety nine percent
Speaker 6: of the places that you're going to be, you can
Speaker 6: wear a hat if you're you know, if you work
Speaker 6: at Goldman Sachs, and I think maybe you can't wear
Speaker 6: a hat.
Speaker 2: I think uniform more than rudeness.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. I think like the places you can't wear
Speaker 3: a hat, it's pretty.
Speaker 2: What are the places you can't wear a hat? I
Speaker 2: mean I would like a really up restaurant maybe, like
Speaker 2: and even that, like women can wear hats a church
Speaker 2: if you're wearing a church hat.
Speaker 6: I wouldn't show up in a baseball cap to church.
Speaker 6: But if it's if it's appropriate to what you're wearing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, even in funerals, like people wear those hats, you know. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: because that's what I'm kind of picturing. But yeah, so
Speaker 2: I mean for restaurants, I feel like even I don't
Speaker 2: really wear caps that often now, I feel like I
Speaker 2: used to. Actually I would take it off when I
Speaker 2: was sat down at a restaurant. Yeah, not like I
Speaker 2: wasn't worried I was going to get reprimended, but it
Speaker 2: was just.
Speaker 3: Like out of habit almost.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Now I think I'm I'm probably still going to take
Speaker 2: it off, just because I don't really like sitting around
Speaker 2: in a hat. Usually I think I think about it
Speaker 2: less because I'm like, oh, yeah, it's kind of normal
Speaker 2: to do. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I wonder where the caller is from, because I imagine
Speaker 1: this is more of a thing in the South. There
Speaker 1: was a clip that went viral after a football game.
Speaker 1: Bill Belichick just lost his like millionth game at North Carolina,
Speaker 1: and the coach, the coaches of the opposing teams always
Speaker 1: revere him so much that like they want to go
Speaker 1: meet him after the game even though they just destroyed him.
Speaker 1: And this guy's running up to Bill Belichick and to
Speaker 1: greet him. He takes his hat off to shake his
Speaker 1: hand because in the greeting it's kind of rude, I
Speaker 1: guess to wear your hat. And I just wonder, maybe
Speaker 1: in the South, if it's a little bit she's.
Speaker 3: Not from the South, not basically or really good.
Speaker 2: Well, she doesn't live in the South. Maybe she's from
Speaker 2: the South. You're supposed to take off your hat during
Speaker 2: the anthem. Yeah, and that's definitely gone away.
Speaker 1: But yeah, for sure, whenever we go to nets games,
Speaker 1: I do see people taking their hats sometimes. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I think you know, unfortunately this is a
Speaker 1: gendered conversation. I think women definitely keep.
Speaker 3: The hat on wherever you want.
Speaker 1: Now, now, your friends are making fun of you when
Speaker 1: you ask, I think that's fair, don't You don't need
Speaker 1: to ask that question if.
Speaker 2: We're going out to a kind of normal restaurant, not
Speaker 2: like something, Yeah, if you were at my wedding wearing
Speaker 2: a baseball cap, I'd be like, what are you doing?
Speaker 9: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, But if we're just going out to dinner at
Speaker 2: like a non insanely fancy place where if it's a
Speaker 2: place where you don't need to have like a jacket on, yeah,
Speaker 2: I think you're pretty much good.
Speaker 6: I would say a lot of fancy restaurants nowadays, like
Speaker 6: people will Yeah, I.
Speaker 2: Went to me and Julia went to a like steakhouse,
Speaker 2: not like a super nice one, but like Gage and
Speaker 2: Torner kind of old school steakhouse. And like we weren't
Speaker 2: like dressed up, but like people are there in shorts
Speaker 2: and a T shirts. Yeah, and it's like I was like, okay,
Speaker 2: like you know, it's fun to or whatever. But yeah,
Speaker 2: it's like you can really wear whatever, and no one's
Speaker 2: like batting an eye. It's not like I wonder if
Speaker 2: by her question can I wear a hat?
Speaker 3: There?
Speaker 2: She's really asking like what is how nice?
Speaker 5: Is it?
Speaker 2: Like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, another way to ask. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but yeah, not like I need to wear a hat.
Speaker 2: But put the hat on. Girl, you don't do it?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, just do what you want, do what makes
Speaker 1: you feel comfortable. Your friends are clowning on you, but
Speaker 1: it's in good spirit. I think you don't need to
Speaker 1: ask if you can wear a hat anywhere?
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 2: The next question on the NST Hotline is about milk. Hey,
Speaker 2: guys love the podcast.
Speaker 1: I'm an international listener here from London. I wanted to
Speaker 1: ask is drinking milk, specifically cow's milk as an adult
Speaker 1: gross and why do people think it is? This girl
Speaker 1: I'm dating finds it gross that I regularly drink milk,
Speaker 1: and even worse that I'm a fan of skimmed milk.
Speaker 1: We call it red milk in the UK. She's not
Speaker 1: lactose intolerant or vegan, which might be why some adults
Speaker 1: find it gross. However, I feel like drinking milk is
Speaker 1: good for you, and ninety nine percent of people enjoyed
Speaker 1: it early on in life as a children. The famous Yeah,
Speaker 1: so why the massive drop in popularity. Most people still
Speaker 1: enjoy sweets. I feel like there might not be an
Speaker 1: objective answer here, but it does spark strong feelings. Whenever
Speaker 1: I say I drink milk, he's just going proclaiming that
Speaker 1: around I say I drink milk, even in non vegan
Speaker 1: or lack I drink milk intolerant circles.
Speaker 2: Hopefully this is interesting.
Speaker 1: It is the longest email I've ever written, wow about milk.
Speaker 1: Sorry that from and this is from Tony. All right,
Speaker 1: you're asking the right group of guys, because I am
Speaker 1: someone who also enjoys a nice cold glass of any milk. Really,
Speaker 1: but whole milk is really?
Speaker 3: What does it for me?
Speaker 1: I will say there are you know, I don't drink
Speaker 1: it as much in my adult life, but when I
Speaker 1: go back home and I'm with my parents and stuff
Speaker 1: and they've got the milk in there, I'm definitely drinking.
Speaker 1: So your parents keep it stocked, They keep it socks. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they keep it socks but it's for like their coffee
Speaker 1: and like that. But when I go in there, they
Speaker 1: always make fun because I'm wrecking their supply. Do you
Speaker 1: two think that drinking milk is gross by itself? I
Speaker 1: wouldn't do it, but I don't think it's gross.
Speaker 3: I don't think you don't drink milk by itself. No,
Speaker 3: I am actually lactose in topic.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's a good reason. But you don't think it's gross.
Speaker 2: Like Tony's friends, it doesn't like gross me out.
Speaker 3: It's just not for me.
Speaker 2: I think it would be unusual if I went to
Speaker 2: like my friend's placed for dinner and they were pouring milk.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what if I was what if you guys came
Speaker 1: over and I was like, would you guys like a
Speaker 1: glass of milk?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I find it strange.
Speaker 2: I could see it though, if it is like in
Speaker 2: a kind of dessert, yeah, scenario and like instead of
Speaker 2: coffee or something.
Speaker 1: I guess.
Speaker 2: So wait to be clear, you don't think it's gross,
Speaker 2: but you do think it's strange.
Speaker 3: It's unusual. Yeah, at this point in our lives, it's true.
Speaker 4: All right.
Speaker 3: I have a weird thing with milk.
Speaker 6: It's disgusting, like the fact that I was just talking
Speaker 6: about it and it's making me feel.
Speaker 3: A little bit sick. And have you always felt this one?
Speaker 3: I used to drink chocolate milk when I was younger,
Speaker 3: like the where you pour the syrup in, yeah, which
Speaker 3: was the one where yeah, you get syrup in the
Speaker 3: fridge and you put it in. There's that yeah, or
Speaker 3: there's a powder powder. I like the syrup one. I
Speaker 3: never used the powder.
Speaker 2: The syrup is it is better or it's like chocolate,
Speaker 2: it's more chocolate, more chocolate.
Speaker 3: So I would do that as a kid. Yeah, I
Speaker 3: haven't had.
Speaker 6: I think if we had a glass of milk right
Speaker 6: here and you said I have to drink it, I
Speaker 6: think I would actually throw up.
Speaker 3: And it's not like a tolerance thing at all.
Speaker 9: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I like milkshakes. Oh yeah, wait, you're a milkshake head.
Speaker 6: I love milkshakess are great. Like I put fake milk
Speaker 6: in my smoothies like an almond or yeah, if I
Speaker 6: had regular, like I could put regular in it and
Speaker 6: I would be fine.
Speaker 3: The idea.
Speaker 6: I think the issue with me, if with milk, is
Speaker 6: the consistency of it, Like something doesn't like score up
Speaker 6: in my head of just like it's not quite liquidy enough.
Speaker 6: It's not as liquid as like a water, but it's
Speaker 6: not milkshake consistency. It's like somewhere in between.
Speaker 2: I'm wondering if you would prefer skim or whole. It's wick.
Speaker 3: Skim milk is kind of like skim is straight up water.
Speaker 3: I don't know. I haven't. That's like I said, I
Speaker 3: haven't had a full glass of milk.
Speaker 2: Then you then you'll get back off the train.
Speaker 6: So I would think that if if I was dating
Speaker 6: someone who was drinking full glasses of milk with dinner,
Speaker 6: I would it would make me a little bit sick.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Not you know, I'm not that guy usually, but that
Speaker 3: milk does it for me.
Speaker 2: As far as the health impacts of milk, I feel
Speaker 2: like there was it was literally like the dairy hobbies. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it was never as good for our bones as they
Speaker 2: made it sound. Yeah, I don't think it's bad for
Speaker 2: you by anymore. But I don't think it's like I'm
Speaker 2: sure this is this thing of like you need to
Speaker 2: drink milk or else.
Speaker 3: You're not going to grow. It's a great market.
Speaker 2: Granted I'm short saying this, but yeah, it was like
Speaker 2: that's a lot.
Speaker 3: You can get those nuns from all places. Yeah, we can.
Speaker 2: We'll put some links in the in the newsletter, of course.
Speaker 6: About since we don't know this, you know what my
Speaker 6: advice would be, Yeah, don't put it in the glass.
Speaker 6: You know, I don't want to see that you're drinking.
Speaker 5: Oh.
Speaker 2: I used to hide it.
Speaker 3: Put it in put another container that I can tell,
Speaker 3: the mug or a thermos.
Speaker 1: I literally used to do this so people wouldn't be
Speaker 1: like they would walk by, like, are you drinking milk?
Speaker 3: Exactly?
Speaker 6: Yeah, if you put it in something else, you know, none,
Speaker 6: don't ask, don't tell, don't ask, don't tell. You don't
Speaker 6: need to be out here telling people you're drinking milk,
Speaker 6: all right, so let's keep that on the on the
Speaker 6: hush hush.
Speaker 2: I remember my brother worked for President Chris Murphy years ago,
Speaker 2: and he would drink mountain dew every morning, but he'd
Speaker 2: put in a coffee mug.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you the same reason. Yeah, I would be like,
Speaker 3: I'm never going to support you in any election if
Speaker 3: I see it there a bottle of at eight a
Speaker 3: m Yeah. Hell no.
Speaker 1: I can confirm that the idea that milk drinking milk
Speaker 1: is weird is probably the consensus.
Speaker 2: I did go viral for adults, Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1: I posted a photo of me putting my milk in
Speaker 1: a mug so that people at one couldn't see what
Speaker 1: it was, and then it kind of it went crazy online,
Speaker 1: people calling me, discussing people who I know and love. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you put some people on the b list for the
Speaker 1: Way based on that interaction fifteen years ago. So I'm
Speaker 1: certainly sympathetic to Tony's position. I say, do do what
Speaker 1: you enjoy, maybe consider putting it in a mug sometimes
Speaker 1: if it's really a problem to your partner.
Speaker 3: To me, you don't need to be telling other people
Speaker 3: you're doing this all right.
Speaker 6: Your partner knows, but the fact that they're just going
Speaker 6: out in interacting with people. Yeah, the consensus is not
Speaker 6: if you're trying to win people over, it's not the
Speaker 6: way to do it.
Speaker 2: Have you ever ordered milk at a restaurant? No, I
Speaker 2: don't think I would love to see that. I've bet someplace.
Speaker 2: I bet like a diner. You could, Yeah, I doubt
Speaker 2: like most restaurants would be able to. Now, sometimes I'll
Speaker 2: get coffee and you know they'll give you milk on
Speaker 2: the side. You just you just drink it a couple
Speaker 2: on a couple of occasions, I'll pour it into my coffee.
Speaker 1: There's not that much room there. I don't know why
Speaker 1: they give you so much milk, and then there's a
Speaker 1: lot of excess milk.
Speaker 3: So you'll drink the coffee and then put the rest
Speaker 3: of it in.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I drink it wrong, oh man, straight from the
Speaker 2: straight from the teat?
Speaker 3: Would you drink breast milk?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 3: Why not?
Speaker 2: From who.
Speaker 8: In a jar?
Speaker 2: You're Are you saying that it's the same like the
Speaker 2: cow's milk.
Speaker 3: If you know you're about to have a kid. I
Speaker 3: don't know what MIA's plans are for.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're gonna breastfeed.
Speaker 3: Okay, nice, I'll be there. Yeah, hey, hold on out
Speaker 3: of the way.
Speaker 1: Something for me.
Speaker 3: You got enough six pounds?
Speaker 2: Speaking of my wife. We have one more question from
Speaker 2: the NST hotline, and it's from Mia.
Speaker 10: Hey, NST, I have a question about hallway etiquette. So
Speaker 10: I was in the Netherlands recently, staying in a four
Speaker 10: floor walk up, and every floor I walked past had
Speaker 10: just so many shoes outside, like an art installation of shoes,
Speaker 10: Like some of them were organized towers. Some of them
Speaker 10: were just spelling out everywhere, and it reminded me of
Speaker 10: a conversation that Manny and I had about our hallway.
Speaker 10: We do have a shoe dresser and a bench, but
Speaker 10: we keep it as neat as we can. Anyway hallway etiquette,
Speaker 10: what's okay and what isn't.
Speaker 1: As you know, in New York City, very limited apartment space,
Speaker 1: and so in our in the heart, yeah, say your
Speaker 1: piece in our hallway space, Uh, there's a little bit
Speaker 1: of space to use that would not block someone from
Speaker 1: going upstairs or to their apartment. So we have a
Speaker 1: shoe shelf in there, and we have a bench so
Speaker 1: that you can like sit down and put the shoes on.
Speaker 3: And so in this.
Speaker 1: Scenario, I guess if a neighbor of mine had a complaint,
Speaker 1: I would feel a little bit like, Okay, well, this
Speaker 1: isn't blocking you from getting upstairs, and we keep ours
Speaker 1: very neat as much as we can.
Speaker 2: I know a lot of people don't, and.
Speaker 1: So I would think in that specific scenario, this guy's overreacting.
Speaker 1: But how do you guys feel about this? What are
Speaker 1: your experiences with people putting their shoes and stuff in
Speaker 1: the hallways of the apartment buildings?
Speaker 2: I'm hardline. The hall is for everyone. There shouldn't be
Speaker 2: anything out there. Mm at most leave a wet umbrella
Speaker 2: and like your dirty pair of boots while they're drying off.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 2: But I think once we start adding stuff, its what, Yeah,
Speaker 2: there's there's no there's no limit because it's like, Okay,
Speaker 2: you might say, well I just have one pair of
Speaker 2: shoes and my wife has one pair of shoes. We're
Speaker 2: now what if someone with three kids comes and now
Speaker 2: I all have two pairs of shoes out there? We're
Speaker 2: adding furniture and artwork. It's like, even if I can
Speaker 2: walk by, it's a little bit like where does it end?
Speaker 2: And it's it's kind of like you just got you
Speaker 2: have too many shoes. If you can't keep the stuff
Speaker 2: in your apartment, I'm sorry you have too many We
Speaker 2: already we all know we have too many things, material
Speaker 2: objects in our lives, and so maybe think you know,
Speaker 2: I live in New York too, there's not a lot
Speaker 2: of space. I understand my closets are jam packed, but
Speaker 2: it should instead of now putting your stuff outside, you
Speaker 2: should be thinking what can I do without?
Speaker 3: How can I do without?
Speaker 4: Wow?
Speaker 3: So that's it. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: But that's that's how I feel. Now I've I've just
Speaker 2: been to apartments and I see, you know, you do
Speaker 2: keep it neat. Your stuff's not in the way many
Speaker 2: and other people do. But then it's like, okay, well
Speaker 2: now i'll put this box out here. I'll put you know,
Speaker 2: my skis and my golf clubs. Because no one's walking
Speaker 2: past here. It's like, it's kind of not about that.
Speaker 5: To me.
Speaker 2: It's like, well, that's not your space. Yeah, and it
Speaker 2: shouldn't just be overflown because it's the sort of thing
Speaker 2: where if everyone did.
Speaker 3: That, yeah, it's chaos.
Speaker 1: Ye, that's a completely understandable take. I disagree with it,
Speaker 1: but I think it makes sense. We try to do
Speaker 1: we try to make sure we're not using it as
Speaker 1: like extended storage.
Speaker 2: It's more like what is the ship you need when
Speaker 2: you're on your way out of there?
Speaker 1: But you are why definite because it's not your apartments,
Speaker 1: So it's extended storage.
Speaker 2: Of course, it's not like boxes of stuff. Sure, yes,
Speaker 2: that's what I meant.
Speaker 3: We're not. I'm not.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't write about storage space for the items in
Speaker 1: my hallway. So it feels like if it's like so
Speaker 1: right now, we have a problem with our coats. There's
Speaker 1: nowhere to put our coats in our apartment, and sometimes
Speaker 1: New York City apartments of course they're all small, but
Speaker 1: sometimes there's actually not closets and.
Speaker 6: So like, yeah, I literally don't have closses. You have closets,
Speaker 6: So explain to me why you don't have space for
Speaker 6: your coats.
Speaker 4: We have.
Speaker 1: We have one closet that's in our kind of like office,
Speaker 1: so that's a lot of office stuff in there, so
Speaker 1: there's no room for the coats. There is a closet
Speaker 1: upstairs where we have coats, but we're not to coat
Speaker 1: that many. Now I'm thinking about getting a coat or
Speaker 1: a little thing on the you know you walk in
Speaker 1: on the wall. We have one of those as well.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but we just have place we need to put.
Speaker 2: You need to choose your seasonal coach, and the rest
Speaker 2: need to be packed away. Well, look, hold on a second.
Speaker 1: The coats are not outside, relaxed, They're they're about to
Speaker 1: be coats outside.
Speaker 3: Exactly what I'm talking about. He's thinking about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I was about to say, what Noah's making sense. No,
Speaker 1: it makes sense in that we have too much ship.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you got to get rid of some of the stuff, yes,
Speaker 1: before we attack you. But yeah, I basically think like,
Speaker 1: so I've I've lived in places too where other people
Speaker 1: have their ship outside, and I'm always someone like, if
Speaker 1: it's not blocking me, I really don't give a ship. Now,
Speaker 1: you guys, I've seen the examples in your apartment for example.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I mean that's horror, horrifying.
Speaker 3: So this is hate.
Speaker 1: I hate to be I hate that this person is
Speaker 1: representing you, my very eyes, the hallway packery.
Speaker 3: This is not all hallways. This is how we had
Speaker 3: to evolve. Because I was before.
Speaker 6: I was a little bit lenient too, But over the
Speaker 6: last couple of weeks, my neighbors have gotten very bold.
Speaker 6: So the apartment next to me, they've gone through a
Speaker 6: couple of iterations to this. The first iteration was they
Speaker 6: just had the shoes all over the floor. The first
Speaker 6: door to get into that little apartment is closer to
Speaker 6: their apartment, so you open the door and there's your
Speaker 6: shoes all over the place. Okay, that was pretty terrible.
Speaker 6: Then they get they got you know, they got their
Speaker 6: ship together a little bit. They got a shoe rack.
Speaker 3: Okay, so that was a little bit better. Now there's
Speaker 3: so much shoes. The shoes are on the shoe act
Speaker 3: and on the floor, spilling, spilling out onto the floor.
Speaker 2: No one's wearing that many shoes that frequently.
Speaker 3: Now, this is every shoe day, every is out there.
Speaker 6: Then over the last week or two they put this giant,
Speaker 6: ugly piece of artwork, huge, huge, and the thing is too.
Speaker 6: What really bothers me about it is that there's a
Speaker 6: small window in the door where you go, you know,
Speaker 6: to go into that little vegetable and you could see
Speaker 6: that all you see is the damn artwork in the
Speaker 6: window now and then okay, representing you now yeah, now
Speaker 6: now it looks like that's my ship.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but even worse.
Speaker 6: All right, So it's bad enough they got their shoes
Speaker 6: all over the place. Once you get within that door,
Speaker 6: you know, it's blocking the floor.
Speaker 3: They got the artwork.
Speaker 6: You know, I'm trying to get my dog, you know,
Speaker 6: to wipe his feet, put his flee Shawn. He's like
Speaker 6: stepping all over those shoes.
Speaker 3: He's confused where you want.
Speaker 2: Me to stand, to be clear, I find this offense
Speaker 2: that's crazy.
Speaker 6: And then every other day they're adding something new out there,
Speaker 6: and I'm like, okay, there, so they're treating it like really,
Speaker 6: I know we're talking about man and his shoes, but
Speaker 6: they're truly treating this like storage.
Speaker 2: This is where they're cleaning stuff.
Speaker 3: This is like a closet now, and there's a closet
Speaker 3: and it just doesn't look good.
Speaker 1: If the thing that I'm keeping out there wasn't there,
Speaker 1: would you be able to get to your apartment?
Speaker 3: Would you? Would you?
Speaker 4: I hear you?
Speaker 3: And that's where I originally landed.
Speaker 2: But I'm just like, I also, yeah that mainly, And
Speaker 2: I also think it's like, you know what, I think
Speaker 2: it's kind of fair to not want to see random
Speaker 2: stuff in the hall.
Speaker 3: I think, whether that's artwork or just other stuff.
Speaker 2: Like the guy below me is a little eccentric for
Speaker 2: other reasons, but sometimes he'll just have like fishing poles
Speaker 2: out there for like days, and it's like, and is
Speaker 2: that like like hanging up a guitar like this is
Speaker 2: It's just like, I mean, they're both bad. It's like
Speaker 2: a pail of fishing rods interesting because they're wet. I
Speaker 2: don't get it. I don't know why, but like I said,
Speaker 2: this guy's yeah, this guy's like, well, I don't know
Speaker 2: this guy's doing something, but it's like and I'm walking
Speaker 2: by it, I'm just like, I don't really.
Speaker 3: It's like ugly. Yeah, now that the building is so beautiful.
Speaker 2: That is one.
Speaker 1: That's the one part I do understand, where like this
Speaker 1: is a common it's your taste, you're what you like art,
Speaker 1: shoes and shit.
Speaker 2: I don't mind. It's like as long as I'm not
Speaker 2: touching it.
Speaker 1: And then even with shoes, I'm kind of like I
Speaker 1: understand why some people would like not want to see
Speaker 1: it that I don't care nearly as much about if
Speaker 1: it's not in your way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like if someone's going to be annoyed, I'm like, yeah.
Speaker 3: That's how I feel.
Speaker 6: I'm going they need to keep it restrained your shoes,
Speaker 6: and the shoes need to be in some sort of
Speaker 6: container or rap.
Speaker 3: Yeah, at least one out of us.
Speaker 2: I'm hardline in the support legislation that yeah banned. I
Speaker 2: just think it's it's the best solution to me, and
Speaker 2: you know, think about what you actually need.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I reiterate that's fair.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm I'm gonna you know, I'm here, I hear
Speaker 1: you guys. I'm gonna continue using my space the way
Speaker 1: I do.
Speaker 2: If I get things are gonna change, I'm ready to
Speaker 2: the mayor.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if we now, if the.
Speaker 2: Landlord was like, get your shit inside, obviously I would listen.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And our uh, our neighbor doesn't seem to carry us
Speaker 1: and said anything, and he has some stuff.
Speaker 3: I'll listen to your neighbors podcast.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, maybe he's got maybe he's complaining.
Speaker 3: He's strobably coming at two pm after this.
Speaker 1: All right, that does it for the No Such Thing
Speaker 1: Hotline this time, But since it's holiday season, stick around
Speaker 1: after the break for the No Such Thing Gift Guide
Speaker 1: of twenty twenty five. Welcome to the gift guide portion
Speaker 1: of today's episode. Noah, I'm gonna start with you.
Speaker 2: I'll start broadly and then I'll point you to one
Speaker 2: specific item. Okay, it's that's helpful for all of our listeners.
Speaker 2: I think a nice board game is a good gift
Speaker 2: because it's inoffensive and there's a wide range. You can
Speaker 2: easily get one for less than fifteen dollars. I'd say,
Speaker 2: even with the tariffs, you can go you know, kind
Speaker 2: of mid scale hit the nice you know, let's say
Speaker 2: twenty to sixty range, and if you're a real you know,
Speaker 2: real head, you can probably you know, get a nice
Speaker 2: chest set that's you know, in the hundreds thousands. One
Speaker 2: in particular that I like, you can buy from the
Speaker 2: MoMA design store. It's a backgammon set. It looks very
Speaker 2: sleek and modern, bright colors. Don't ask me how much
Speaker 2: it costs. I'm not sure anymore.
Speaker 3: But do you own this? I bought it for someone.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, so it's a gift you've done before and
Speaker 3: you do it again, and I stand by.
Speaker 2: I haven't gotten any negative feedback on the one person
Speaker 2: you bought it for. Yeah, godden positive feedback at the
Speaker 2: time anyway.
Speaker 3: Yeah, has it been touched? Not my problem?
Speaker 2: God, that's okay. Yeah, I want to say it's probably
Speaker 2: in the forty to fifty dollars range.
Speaker 3: Well, we'll link to it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll link to it obviously in the sub stack.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I think it's nice because it's it's kind
Speaker 2: of you can have it as a decorative piece somewhere.
Speaker 2: You don't really need to play it obviously holiday season.
Speaker 3: It's nice.
Speaker 2: Hopefully there's people around you can play a game with
Speaker 2: fun for the whole family, et cetera.
Speaker 3: I haven't played backgammon.
Speaker 2: I mean it's kind of checkers, like, Oh okay, I
Speaker 2: like checkers more than chess, though, yeah, it's like a
Speaker 2: little bit more complicated than checkers, less complicated than chess,
Speaker 2: right up my alley, Yeah exactly, all right, Well checkers easy,
Speaker 2: chess can't be bothered to learn. Yeahaha, sounds like the
Speaker 2: right move less some strategic I think. And you can
Speaker 2: probably just resell this easily if you don't like it,
Speaker 2: go to.
Speaker 3: You, no harm, no foul.
Speaker 6: Yeah, all right, Devin, I'm gonna cheat a little bit.
Speaker 6: I've kind of took my like real real gift is
Speaker 6: I think you know, we don't have no such thing
Speaker 6: plus yet, but I think it would be great if
Speaker 6: you know someone likes a podcast, to buy them a
Speaker 6: subscription to it, right, because it's one of those things
Speaker 6: that like is kind of annoying to have to buy yourself.
Speaker 6: But if your friend, say, is really in the search engine,
Speaker 6: you get them search Engine Plus I don't know what
Speaker 6: it's called incognito mode, and then they get to listen
Speaker 6: to the show with no ads for a year. You're supporting,
Speaker 6: you know, independent people making art.
Speaker 2: It's a good price for a gift too. Exactly because
Speaker 2: it's not like crazy, No, it's also like the it's
Speaker 2: just the amount of money that you might not want
Speaker 2: to spend exactly for yourself, but someone gave it to you.
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 1: Now, are you talking a year subscription? Yeah, year subscription,
Speaker 1: because it's going to be like fifty sixty.
Speaker 6: Yeah yeah, I just got my hyper fixed whatever subscription
Speaker 6: renewed is forty dollars for the year.
Speaker 3: Not bad.
Speaker 6: Forty dollars for a gift, pretty good anything that someone
Speaker 6: would actually use dead day. So remember that in a
Speaker 6: couple months when we start, no such thing. Plus, so
Speaker 6: you can subscribe.
Speaker 2: It's a really good gift. I mean I might do
Speaker 2: this actually see really thoughtful.
Speaker 4: Wow.
Speaker 6: Yeah, but my actual gift is a little bit more
Speaker 6: heartfelt and it takes a lot more work, but it's
Speaker 6: a good gift.
Speaker 3: I'm out listening.
Speaker 6: We need to bring back the mixtape, but not in
Speaker 6: a Spotify playlist, but I'm talking about and I've done this,
Speaker 6: you know a couple of times.
Speaker 8: Now.
Speaker 6: You make a it's almost like a DJ set, right,
Speaker 6: It's one you do one track and you make it
Speaker 6: about I'll give you forty five minutes to an hour
Speaker 6: long of music. You select what songs. You don't have
Speaker 6: to play all the songs front the bat. Sure, it's
Speaker 6: like you're curating a specific DJ set for one.
Speaker 3: Person and you're doing this yourself. I've done it, yeah
Speaker 3: many times. Wow, I like to have fun with it.
Speaker 3: I'll bring in like some YouTube clips.
Speaker 6: Yeah, you know, it's always there's a great who's Kevin
Speaker 6: Gates has some incredible quotes.
Speaker 3: He has just like quote about like licking his dog
Speaker 3: in the mouth, Like you put that over some music.
Speaker 3: You know. It's like you can really like curate it
Speaker 3: for a specific person.
Speaker 2: Are you doing this on a particular program or yeah?
Speaker 3: I usually do it in the way premiere. Yeah, you
Speaker 3: could do it in Adobe edition.
Speaker 6: If you don't know how to use audio editing programs,
Speaker 6: it's gonna be a little bit tougher for.
Speaker 3: You, but you can do it. I bet there's some
Speaker 3: apps to that can kind of do this.
Speaker 2: Hates a good Devin props, but these are two bangor gifts.
Speaker 3: Was my go to UH gift when I was in
Speaker 3: a relationship.
Speaker 2: Great ideas.
Speaker 1: Nice many All right, So there's this there's this stock
Speaker 1: in the stock market. Game stop gmmy, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 3: Sorry, So my my.
Speaker 2: First gift, I was like, all right, it's not financial advice.
Speaker 1: So my gift is earplugs. And this is specific, specific
Speaker 1: brand that I've really come to love. They're called Loops.
Speaker 1: They're kind of like designer ear plugs, but don't be
Speaker 1: afraid of the word designer. They're probably forty to fifty bucks.
Speaker 1: And I have tonightis like I don't know if New
Speaker 1: York City made it worse or it just gets worse
Speaker 1: as I get older, but like my ears are ringing
Speaker 1: all the time, and I think actually most people don't
Speaker 1: realize how much their ears are getting attacked on a
Speaker 1: daily basis. So what Loops has done is they've gotten
Speaker 1: Like there's different versions you can buy. I bought the
Speaker 1: ones that are that are called switch loop switch, where
Speaker 1: you can filter how many decibels are being blocked.
Speaker 3: Expensive, that one.
Speaker 2: Is fifty bucks.
Speaker 3: I think those are on the way right now to my.
Speaker 1: Wife, Oh really, the lost yeah, that one problem is
Speaker 1: that they're so easy to lose. So I am on
Speaker 1: my third pair. But the switches, yeah, those are more
Speaker 1: expensive but just like super useful, like even when I'm
Speaker 1: at a cafe by myself, like I'll throw them in
Speaker 1: and you start to realize, like how much your ears
Speaker 1: are just getting violated all day?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's lated, it's a much.
Speaker 1: It's a much more calming experience. The cheaper ones, like
Speaker 1: if you really want to block everything out, they have
Speaker 1: like the versions that don't switch. Those are like twenty
Speaker 1: bucks every movie.
Speaker 3: I put them in.
Speaker 6: I do it at concerts. Now, Manny, you've got you
Speaker 6: converted me to be a loopshead, but I.
Speaker 2: Wear them nearly every day.
Speaker 1: So if you've got someone in your life you think
Speaker 1: is who might they also have? Like sleeping versions. I
Speaker 1: bought some recently. I haven't tried them out yet, but anyway,
Speaker 1: they they are. It's a quality of life upgrade for your.
Speaker 2: Loved ones and Loops.
Speaker 1: If you're listening to this, please sponsor meds.
Speaker 7: Thing.
Speaker 1: No such thing as a production of Kaleidoscope content. Our
Speaker 1: executive producers are Kate Osborne and Mangesh hot To Cadur.
Speaker 1: The show was created by Mandy Fidel No Freedoman and
Speaker 1: Devin Joseph. The theme songs are by Me Manny, and
Speaker 1: mixing is done by Steve Bone. Thank you to everyone
Speaker 1: who's sent us questions for this NST Hotline episode. If
Speaker 1: you have something you'd like our advice on, definitely feel
Speaker 1: free to call the number in the show notes or
Speaker 1: send us an email. Visit no Such Thing dot show
Speaker 1: to subscribe to our newsletter, and if you have feedback
Speaker 1: for us or a question for our regular episodes, our
Speaker 1: email is Manny Noah Devin at gmail dot com. We'll
Speaker 1: be back next week with a new episode, Heals