1 00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:16,759 Speaker 1: So I want to say something about birthdays, which is 2 00:00:18,239 --> 00:00:22,919 Speaker 1: I typically don't like my birthday. The lower the expectation, 3 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:26,600 Speaker 1: the less I act like it's my birthday, the better. 4 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:29,800 Speaker 1: But there has to be some version of a reflection 5 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:32,360 Speaker 1: otherwise than it's more depressing because it's like it didn't 6 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:32,920 Speaker 1: even happen. 7 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:34,839 Speaker 2: So it's a weird dance. 8 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:37,160 Speaker 1: And it's not that I'm self involved, and who gives 9 00:00:37,159 --> 00:00:40,560 Speaker 1: a shit that it's my birthday? Like I don't love 10 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:43,920 Speaker 1: many holidays. I just find it to be this build 11 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,800 Speaker 1: up and was it what you expected? 12 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:47,720 Speaker 2: And are you in a relationship? And are you not? 13 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:48,800 Speaker 2: And what's the meaning? 14 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:52,080 Speaker 1: And it's really just a whole thing, And many people 15 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:55,840 Speaker 1: do understand. And the crash out for me is really 16 00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:58,200 Speaker 1: only on my birthday. People think it's when I'm eating 17 00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:01,240 Speaker 1: seafood in a hotel room, or when I'm dancing hip 18 00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:04,039 Speaker 1: hop on the way to a date and a sexy outfit, 19 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:06,399 Speaker 1: none of these or eating cottage cheese or food on 20 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:08,600 Speaker 1: my face, none of these things are the crash out. 21 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:11,000 Speaker 1: The crash out is in fact my birthday. That is, 22 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:14,360 Speaker 1: when at some point it happened for me, It was 23 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:17,480 Speaker 1: the day before my birthday. This time, I slept twice 24 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:20,319 Speaker 1: during the day. I was a fucking zombie. I just 25 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:26,000 Speaker 1: felt depressed and weird. I was reflecting on a past relationship. 26 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:33,520 Speaker 1: I was even contemplating getting back together with a past relationship. 27 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:39,240 Speaker 1: And I corrected myself because I think that moments of 28 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:44,720 Speaker 1: vulnerability and reflection and meaning and holidays can fuck around 29 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:49,440 Speaker 1: with us, and I think that that is risky and 30 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:53,160 Speaker 1: tricky business. If you know yourself and you're somewhat like that, 31 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:57,080 Speaker 1: you need a low lift, like you need just to 32 00:01:57,120 --> 00:01:59,720 Speaker 1: do something, but not try to do everything. You're not 33 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:03,680 Speaker 1: to try to hit a home run. You're supposed to 34 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:07,480 Speaker 1: go easy, give yourself grace, be rested, do something meaningful. 35 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:10,680 Speaker 1: My birthday meaning was getting in bed with my daughter 36 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:13,760 Speaker 1: this morning before she went to school. Her alarm went off. 37 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,600 Speaker 1: She likes to keep snoozing it, and we laid together 38 00:02:16,639 --> 00:02:20,200 Speaker 1: and had the most beautiful snuggle, Like to me, that's 39 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:22,880 Speaker 1: my rose, that's my birthday. Just a snuggle with my 40 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,840 Speaker 1: child because we've been butting heads about different things and 41 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:28,280 Speaker 1: there's something that's going on in her life that she's 42 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:30,640 Speaker 1: a little upset about and it's ultimately upsetting me. 43 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:33,000 Speaker 2: And we've been. 44 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:35,920 Speaker 1: Bickering and just to crawl into bed with her this 45 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:38,520 Speaker 1: morning and her to say, it's your special day, Mama, 46 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:41,000 Speaker 1: it's your special day, and then me to lay with 47 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:42,840 Speaker 1: her was like all that I really need. 48 00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:43,919 Speaker 2: It's all that I really need. 49 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:45,280 Speaker 1: I just want to go out to dinner with her 50 00:02:45,639 --> 00:02:47,600 Speaker 1: and just love her and just be with her, and 51 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:48,639 Speaker 1: like that's what I need. 52 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:51,200 Speaker 2: I have my person. You know. 53 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:53,480 Speaker 1: It doesn't mean I don't want to be in a relationship. 54 00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:57,680 Speaker 1: It doesn't mean I'm not being intentional about that. It 55 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:02,359 Speaker 1: means that this is where I am right now, and 56 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:07,000 Speaker 1: I'm okay. It's an okay, it's an okay birthday. It's 57 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:08,799 Speaker 1: also a milestone birthday. But I also don't give a 58 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:11,800 Speaker 1: shit about that stuff I've said before. Age is not 59 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:14,560 Speaker 1: just a number, it's a fact. So it's a lot 60 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:21,280 Speaker 1: of reflecting, a lot of connecting. And I could be 61 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:23,640 Speaker 1: a little bit of a curmudgeon about it, meaning I'm like, 62 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:28,640 Speaker 1: everyone wants to send me a cake and flowers and stuff, 63 00:03:28,639 --> 00:03:30,960 Speaker 1: and I'm like, just spend it on your kids, spend 64 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,480 Speaker 1: it on yourself, don't spend it on me. 65 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:33,160 Speaker 2: I don't need it. 66 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:36,120 Speaker 1: I have everything I could possibly want in my life. 67 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:40,200 Speaker 1: So like spend it on yourself. But I love you guys, 68 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 1: and all of you who message me and are so supportive. 69 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:45,240 Speaker 1: That means so much to me. I can't explain it. 70 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:50,400 Speaker 1: It's like the little things. It's and then what I 71 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:53,440 Speaker 1: spent the whole morning doing. To be honest, everybody that 72 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:55,360 Speaker 1: wished me a happy birthday, I asked them for their 73 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:56,920 Speaker 1: birthday so I could put it in the calendar because 74 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:59,160 Speaker 1: I end up feeling guilty for people wishing me a 75 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:02,080 Speaker 1: happy birthday. And I ended up going through gifts to 76 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:04,040 Speaker 1: give a gift to Laney, who used to work with 77 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:05,480 Speaker 1: me because she's still in New York and I'm going 78 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:08,960 Speaker 1: to see her my former sort of housekeeper life partner, 79 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:13,520 Speaker 1: and gifts for Brynn's friends because it's birthdays coming up. 80 00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:16,520 Speaker 1: I love gift giving. I'm not as good at gift 81 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:19,600 Speaker 1: receiving someone that i've been dating. Literally brought over eight 82 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:22,320 Speaker 1: gifts last night in a cake and I opened two 83 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:25,200 Speaker 1: of the gifts. And I'm going little by little throughout 84 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:27,920 Speaker 1: the day because I'm not the best gift getter. 85 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:28,240 Speaker 2: But I. 86 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:32,200 Speaker 1: Want gifts because I don't want to feel like nothing happened. 87 00:04:32,279 --> 00:04:35,039 Speaker 1: So anyway it sounds narcissistic and self involved. I'm just 88 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:38,799 Speaker 1: explaining a dynamic. I'm totally fine, totally happy. It's ultimately 89 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,479 Speaker 1: just a day, but should be treated a little differently. 90 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:43,480 Speaker 1: But I wanted to come on here even though I 91 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:46,159 Speaker 1: thought I wouldn't, because I wanted to spend it with you, 92 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:49,520 Speaker 1: And as it pertains to someone that I thought. 93 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:53,320 Speaker 2: I might revisit, we really can't go backwards. 94 00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:57,160 Speaker 1: You know. There are reasons that we end with people, 95 00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:03,720 Speaker 1: and we sometimes gaslight ourselves. I love that word into thinking. 96 00:05:03,839 --> 00:05:07,480 Speaker 1: It was one thing and some circumstances have changed and 97 00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:11,200 Speaker 1: it could be different and I don't know. And also 98 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:16,080 Speaker 1: it's what I said to you before. If you're a 99 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:21,680 Speaker 1: woman and a man, isn't hardcore pursuing you immediately? No 100 00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:26,560 Speaker 1: one man that's been pursuing me, it's like he wants 101 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:29,599 Speaker 1: to sort of see me every month, Like that is 102 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:31,320 Speaker 1: one thing at a certain age that you're gonna be 103 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:33,000 Speaker 1: like I don't need to be with you every day 104 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:36,800 Speaker 1: and you to be coming over here and me seeing 105 00:05:36,839 --> 00:05:38,480 Speaker 1: you every day like we're twenty five and what are 106 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,839 Speaker 1: we ordering in in Netflix and chill every night? But 107 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:44,440 Speaker 1: also like if you're a man and you're successful, and 108 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 1: you can, you know, are retired and you could do 109 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:50,600 Speaker 1: what you want, like I don't really need to like 110 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:54,800 Speaker 1: have you making me a convenience like seeing me when 111 00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:57,839 Speaker 1: you can? So I'm absolutely not interested in that. And 112 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:00,760 Speaker 1: also at this age, it's very different age and stage, 113 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:03,479 Speaker 1: it's difficult to understand what to look for. 114 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:05,040 Speaker 2: Are you looking for a life. 115 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,680 Speaker 1: Partner that you're going to be amazing that you grow 116 00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:08,720 Speaker 1: old with, who's just going to be loving and supportive 117 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:10,760 Speaker 1: and a good guy. Are you looking for someone that 118 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:13,400 Speaker 1: is amazing in bed and takes care of you that way? 119 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,560 Speaker 1: Are you looking for someone to take care of you financially? 120 00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:17,720 Speaker 1: I am not, but I'm also not looking to take 121 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:23,039 Speaker 1: care of someone financially. Are you looking for logic just 122 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:26,599 Speaker 1: like a good friend that you can spend your life with. 123 00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:29,080 Speaker 1: It's just an interesting thing because I just don't know 124 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:33,960 Speaker 1: that many people who have really hit it right, and 125 00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:37,839 Speaker 1: that's why many people are alone and choose. Many people 126 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:41,159 Speaker 1: choose to be alone. I want for my daughter the 127 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:44,719 Speaker 1: family dynamic. I want it for myself. So I'm trying 128 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:49,240 Speaker 1: to be very open, but not open so much that 129 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:51,919 Speaker 1: I allow myself to be chosen and not be the 130 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:59,000 Speaker 1: chooser so, but I do know that I'm not going backwards, 131 00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:02,760 Speaker 1: and I do know that I'm not doing the majority 132 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,480 Speaker 1: of the lift. I'll meet someone halfway. I'll be a partner, 133 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:08,320 Speaker 1: just like in business, but I'm not doing the majority 134 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:10,160 Speaker 1: of the lift, particularly with it as it pertains to 135 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:13,880 Speaker 1: a woman and a man, like I just believe that 136 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:19,720 Speaker 1: men should pursue. I do. If you're a lesbian or 137 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:22,160 Speaker 1: you're gay, then that's going to be a different dynamic. 138 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:26,160 Speaker 1: But I'm saying for a heterosexual dynamic for me and 139 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:28,200 Speaker 1: the people that are signing up with this dating concept, 140 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:32,280 Speaker 1: I believe that you should be pursued. So I was 141 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:35,520 Speaker 1: trying to go backwards and fit a square into a circle. 142 00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:38,920 Speaker 1: And I think it's partially because it's rough out there 143 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:42,520 Speaker 1: and it's scary, and you don't know whether or not 144 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:46,480 Speaker 1: you should keep swimming to shore or go back to 145 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:48,920 Speaker 1: where you started, a place that you really didn't want 146 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:50,880 Speaker 1: to be, because you wouldn't have started swimming to shore 147 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:54,920 Speaker 1: if you were so happy. So in those cases, if 148 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:57,640 Speaker 1: you go back, you know, each time, and those like 149 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:03,360 Speaker 1: shipwreck shows or movie or in Yellowjackets or whatever it is, 150 00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:07,800 Speaker 1: they're constantly trying to get off this island and get 151 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:11,480 Speaker 1: back home. And it happened with Tom Hanks in Castaway 152 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,440 Speaker 1: and then something happens or there's a hole in the boat, 153 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:16,680 Speaker 1: and you get discouraged and you go back, but like 154 00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:19,000 Speaker 1: you don't want to be back. You just started to 155 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:22,000 Speaker 1: give up. So don't give up your happiness. That's why 156 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,280 Speaker 1: I was talking about Jennifer Aniston and the guy Jim 157 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:28,440 Speaker 1: Curtis that I have met in my life and briefly knew. 158 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:32,320 Speaker 1: I was happy she didn't have a child. She didn't 159 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:34,040 Speaker 1: have a child on her own. She didn't want to 160 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:37,120 Speaker 1: do that. I suppose she didn't stay married. She's a 161 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:40,360 Speaker 1: beautiful woman. She's a wealthy, successful Hollywood actress. She could 162 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:43,600 Speaker 1: have just grabbed somebody, but she waited until her time 163 00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:46,400 Speaker 1: was right, or she decided when her time was right, 164 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:49,800 Speaker 1: like a man does, whatever it is. I think I 165 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:51,840 Speaker 1: talked about it because I wanted it to be hopeful 166 00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:55,320 Speaker 1: for all of you, if that's what you want. So 167 00:08:56,080 --> 00:09:13,680 Speaker 1: that's what I have to say about that. So today 168 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:16,200 Speaker 1: is my birthday, and it's my mother's birthday. I was 169 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:19,319 Speaker 1: born on my mother's birthday. On this podcast, I cried 170 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:22,679 Speaker 1: on the internet after she died. I just sat down, 171 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:24,880 Speaker 1: I poured it out, I gave it to you. I 172 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:27,120 Speaker 1: connected with you, I shared it with you. A lot 173 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:29,960 Speaker 1: of things that were difficult. I was born in my 174 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:34,280 Speaker 1: mother's twentieth birthday. Think about being twenty and having a child. 175 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:36,680 Speaker 1: Many of you know that from either your parents or 176 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:38,840 Speaker 1: some of you have that, but it's not common and 177 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:42,880 Speaker 1: it's hard to even fathom that in five years from 178 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:45,000 Speaker 1: now my daughter would be a mother. So I was 179 00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:47,440 Speaker 1: born on my mother's birthday, not ready to be a mother, 180 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,560 Speaker 1: and not fit to be a mother, not a fit mother, 181 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:53,520 Speaker 1: not a role model in ninety nine point nine percent 182 00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:57,560 Speaker 1: of the ways. But I believe that somehow that is 183 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,760 Speaker 1: embedded in my birthday experience. It's just like I'm connected 184 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:03,240 Speaker 1: to her, and she passed away, and she was the 185 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:08,000 Speaker 1: most complicated, challenging relationship of my life. And my hair 186 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:09,880 Speaker 1: is standing up on my arms, and I want to 187 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:12,040 Speaker 1: be so different than her in so many ways, and 188 00:10:12,559 --> 00:10:15,640 Speaker 1: there are many ways that I am like her, and 189 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:22,320 Speaker 1: I also respect some of who she was like from 190 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:25,760 Speaker 1: superficial from a superficial aspect to the fact that she 191 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:28,000 Speaker 1: looked like Michelle Feifer and she had that like blue 192 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:31,240 Speaker 1: convertible Mercedes that I just bought and renovated, to being 193 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:35,360 Speaker 1: super smart, really sharp, like really good at trivia, to 194 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:38,960 Speaker 1: be having a sharp tongue and aggressive, and to the 195 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:43,200 Speaker 1: nostalgia of her to like the Angelie perfume commercials, the 196 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:46,679 Speaker 1: Capri skinny cigarettes, the Virginia slims, the tab. 197 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:48,680 Speaker 2: That era. 198 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:52,920 Speaker 1: Like she is a reflection of that era. I don't 199 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:55,199 Speaker 1: know how many of you had like a seventies eighties 200 00:10:55,280 --> 00:11:00,960 Speaker 1: mom and how quintessentially your mom was a seventies eighties 201 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,760 Speaker 1: New York mom. But for me, it's all the music, 202 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:06,200 Speaker 1: like the music native New Yorker. My mother was a 203 00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:09,440 Speaker 1: city woman. She had gay friends, like all kinds of 204 00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:13,600 Speaker 1: gay friends and kaftans, long before people were having gay 205 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:16,400 Speaker 1: friends in kaftans. You know, in high school there were 206 00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:20,120 Speaker 1: people that I now realized definitely were gay men and women, 207 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:22,880 Speaker 1: but like they're just when I was in high school, 208 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:25,520 Speaker 1: like no one was out, like no one was not 209 00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:28,160 Speaker 1: even accepting. It wasn't even that no one accepted anyone. 210 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:32,200 Speaker 1: Gay people just did not even It just wasn't on 211 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:35,839 Speaker 1: the menu. So that was my But my mother had 212 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:38,320 Speaker 1: get gay hairdresser friends and was going to Studio fifty 213 00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:42,240 Speaker 1: four and like wearing all the sheet clothing and had 214 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:46,000 Speaker 1: very few pieces of a layah and chainlink and like 215 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:50,040 Speaker 1: just she was a vibe. She was a fucking seventies 216 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:55,160 Speaker 1: eighties vibe, a disaster, a mess, an alcoholic, a beliemic, 217 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:58,640 Speaker 1: like all the things I mean. But you know that 218 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,520 Speaker 1: was the that was like think of. But that was 219 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:04,480 Speaker 1: the generation of no seatbelts, smoke while you're pregnant, drink 220 00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:07,320 Speaker 1: while you're pregnant, open the fucking back door, let your 221 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,160 Speaker 1: kids out. You'll see him at eight o'clock at night. 222 00:12:09,559 --> 00:12:14,320 Speaker 1: Parents that did not work were with their kids less 223 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:17,280 Speaker 1: than parents now that work a full time job because 224 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,160 Speaker 1: it was smoke a cigarette, have a glass of wine, 225 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:21,440 Speaker 1: let your kids out the back door, Pray for the 226 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:25,520 Speaker 1: best free range parenting. See you on the weekend, and 227 00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:31,760 Speaker 1: still won't see you. I just have to talk about 228 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:33,840 Speaker 1: work from home again because I'm looking to get canceled. 229 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:36,240 Speaker 1: So I did a show with Kevin O'Leary and we 230 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:38,920 Speaker 1: battled and we debated about work from home. Now, people 231 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:40,960 Speaker 1: haven't been on all sides of this. I've talked to 232 00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:44,400 Speaker 1: major CEOs running major companies, and most of those like 233 00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:48,480 Speaker 1: sort of very successful, wealthy, old school CEOs don't love 234 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:51,240 Speaker 1: the full work from home concept. They don't love it. 235 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:54,360 Speaker 1: I don't love it. Martha Stewart doesn't love it. But 236 00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:57,320 Speaker 1: we're old dogs, right, and maybe like young people really 237 00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:59,920 Speaker 1: do love it. Many people that work with me are more, 238 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,440 Speaker 1: are productive, they get so much done, they want to 239 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:05,000 Speaker 1: be with their families, They're happier, they have more balance. 240 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:06,160 Speaker 2: I get it. 241 00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:08,880 Speaker 1: I'm going to push back, and I'm going to say 242 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:13,679 Speaker 1: one thing, creativity does die a little bit with collaboration 243 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:17,240 Speaker 1: if you're in a business that requires collaboration and connectivity. 244 00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:20,440 Speaker 1: For me, maybe people are more productive, but I don't 245 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:26,200 Speaker 1: know overall with work, if people are necessarily more work 246 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:29,520 Speaker 1: happy and fulfilled in work, which is part of life. 247 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,800 Speaker 1: And the reason I say this is I have these 248 00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:34,320 Speaker 1: silos and these people that work with me, that work 249 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:37,480 Speaker 1: in slack channels and texts and zooms and you know, 250 00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:40,839 Speaker 1: WhatsApps and and all this, and yes, they get a 251 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:44,280 Speaker 1: lot done, and I have a very successful business, but 252 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:48,240 Speaker 1: I'm craving connectivity. I don't want my people here every 253 00:13:48,280 --> 00:13:52,040 Speaker 1: single day. I definitely don't at all because I'm one 254 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:54,040 Speaker 1: of these people too. I'm the work from home person too. 255 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:56,679 Speaker 1: I always was, but I'm not looking to go into 256 00:13:56,679 --> 00:13:59,120 Speaker 1: any office and put an outfit on and do that. 257 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,040 Speaker 1: I'm not looking to drive their drive home. I'm not 258 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:04,880 Speaker 1: looking to do that. But I am looking to spend 259 00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:06,800 Speaker 1: some time with people that I work with and them 260 00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:10,320 Speaker 1: to spend time with each other and everyone east in 261 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,880 Speaker 1: New York and in Florida, to all be together sometimes, 262 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:15,680 Speaker 1: whether it's a group dinner, a retreat, a cocktail, a laugh, 263 00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:19,800 Speaker 1: Like you get suffocated in like these little spaces. And 264 00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:22,240 Speaker 1: I do have people that come in like maybe one 265 00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:24,560 Speaker 1: or two hours a week to do certain things that 266 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:26,920 Speaker 1: I have to do, other people that are here more often, 267 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:30,040 Speaker 1: but it's just not that connective. And I feel like 268 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:32,760 Speaker 1: people must be somewhat more lonely in this work from 269 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:36,440 Speaker 1: home life must be somewhat so Anyway, I'm not saying 270 00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:39,120 Speaker 1: I want to change it, because I live it more 271 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:43,160 Speaker 1: than anyone, But I am saying there's something to what 272 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,200 Speaker 1: an X of mine used to refer to as the 273 00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:48,960 Speaker 1: raw raw shit in business, Like how is everyone getting together? 274 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:51,360 Speaker 1: How are you taking people on a team dinner, how 275 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:54,840 Speaker 1: you know? Things like that. I just think I want 276 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:59,880 Speaker 1: more like connectivity, I want more collaboration more. I know, 277 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:03,040 Speaker 1: not that it can be a little more like soul crushing, 278 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,960 Speaker 1: doing certain creative things and trying to explain to my 279 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:10,640 Speaker 1: team how to help me be more creative because I'm 280 00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:13,040 Speaker 1: not with them as much, They're not getting to know 281 00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:15,160 Speaker 1: me as much. When I go on business trips and 282 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:16,880 Speaker 1: I'm with people that I work with, like we laugh 283 00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:19,560 Speaker 1: a lot. They get to see what I eat, how 284 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:21,760 Speaker 1: I'm crazy, how I'm fun, how I want to go dance, 285 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:23,120 Speaker 1: I want to have a cocktail, How I'm like a 286 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:25,680 Speaker 1: little kid at work. I seem like I'm just like, 287 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:29,320 Speaker 1: you know, all business, all work and no play, you know, 288 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:30,760 Speaker 1: and I'm not that at all. 289 00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:32,920 Speaker 2: So anyway, just food for thought. 290 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:34,760 Speaker 1: I don't know how this is all going to evolve, 291 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:38,880 Speaker 1: but I would like to keep exploring being more open 292 00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:43,600 Speaker 1: and having my team with each other more and myself 293 00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:44,960 Speaker 1: with them. And I need to do more of the 294 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:47,640 Speaker 1: raw rush it. Do the raw rush it, have the 295 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:51,320 Speaker 1: holiday dinner, do the team dinner. Do the Danielle who 296 00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:55,360 Speaker 1: works with me does like cookie making, parties with the team, 297 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:58,640 Speaker 1: brace slip making, like they collaborate, they hang out. 298 00:15:58,720 --> 00:15:59,200 Speaker 2: I love that. 299 00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:01,040 Speaker 1: I don't know that I'm I'm jealous because I'm not 300 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:05,240 Speaker 1: that girl, but I'm jealous that she is that person, 301 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:08,280 Speaker 1: like that she can do that. I think it's important 302 00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:11,080 Speaker 1: for us to connect. I think social media has made 303 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:13,200 Speaker 1: it that everyone's face is down at their phone. People 304 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:15,760 Speaker 1: don't meet people in bars anymore. People are only on apps, 305 00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:21,720 Speaker 1: people are only swiping. Like the human connection, the human 306 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:26,720 Speaker 1: interaction is dying as we know it, and I think 307 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:27,600 Speaker 1: that is. 308 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:32,040 Speaker 2: A little bit soul crushing. 309 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:37,000 Speaker 1: I am going to put on my caviar pajamas the 310 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:39,960 Speaker 1: plight of having too much caviar. I'm going to open 311 00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:42,120 Speaker 1: the biggest tan of caveo that's in my fridge that 312 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:45,240 Speaker 1: I must use up, and I'm gonna just shovel it 313 00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:50,040 Speaker 1: in like a fucking unhinged animal, seafood boil in my 314 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:53,000 Speaker 1: hotel room style. It's about to go down. The crash 315 00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:56,120 Speaker 1: out is happening soon. Oh and the red velvet cake. 316 00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:59,120 Speaker 1: My suitor sent me a red velvet cake last night 317 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:00,560 Speaker 1: and it was beautiful and just to all my gifts 318 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:02,080 Speaker 1: that I'm going to go open. I love you, guys. 319 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:05,480 Speaker 1: I am happy, I am healthy, I am grateful, and 320 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:06,520 Speaker 1: I'm grateful for you. 321 00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:29,600 Speaker 2: So happy birthday to myself. Bye.