Speaker 1: Episode seventy six, Ask us Anything, Live from finn Con nineteen.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to
Speaker 1: save money, embrace simplicity, rights, and liver with your life friend.
Speaker 1: Here your host Jen and Jill. All right, okay, here
Speaker 1: we go. Hello frugal Friends. I'm Jen, I'm Jill, and
Speaker 1: we are coming at you live from the podcast recording
Speaker 1: booth at finn Con nineteen in Washington, d C. And
Speaker 1: if you don't know what that is, because I'm still
Speaker 1: a little unclear, it's basically a big conference where people
Speaker 1: who blog, podcast, create videos, consults on money. They all
Speaker 1: converge here and we're in DC right now. So and
Speaker 1: they've got this awesome podcasting setup, so we're taking advantage
Speaker 1: of it. Yes, this is our money mecca and we
Speaker 1: are here for the week to pilgrimage with the other nerds.
Speaker 1: That's intense. I don't think that's what I'm doing. I'm watched.
Speaker 1: I'm here for it. I'm here for it. Jen's doing that.
Speaker 1: I'm mostly taking it all in. Yes, but we are
Speaker 1: so excited to go through your questions. Yes, we have
Speaker 1: a special edition of the Frugal Friends podcast today, totally
Speaker 1: different from anything we've done. And we invited our listeners
Speaker 1: from the Frugal Friends community to ask us anything, and
Speaker 1: we invited them to get weird, and yes you did.
Speaker 1: Later on in the thread, you're like, come on, people,
Speaker 1: get We didn't get as weird as I wanted it to,
Speaker 1: probably for the best, but we have a bunch of
Speaker 1: questions and we're going to go through them and uh
Speaker 1: answer some of your burning, burning questions. Yeah. I was
Speaker 1: so stoked on how many questions people asked us. Yes,
Speaker 1: once prompted, you guys all have some really great questions.
Speaker 1: So I will just warn you there is no lightning
Speaker 1: round today of the week, there are no sponsors, so
Speaker 1: we might be pleasing a lot of people. Actually, yeah,
Speaker 1: we'll find out. But we want to answer your questions.
Speaker 1: So let's get started. Who we got Jen? All right?
Speaker 1: Our first question is from Jennifer and she asked, what's
Speaker 1: your why of being frugal? Okay, I'll go first. So
Speaker 1: being frugal for me, honestly, it's a way of life.
Speaker 1: But as I have adopted the concepts of frugality more
Speaker 1: and more, I think it's grown my why because I've
Speaker 1: started to see more and more what I'm able to
Speaker 1: do as a result of being frugal. So I will
Speaker 1: honestly say my why has shifted as I think it will.
Speaker 1: I think as we reach new goals, your wise might
Speaker 1: start to change. For me, it is primarily to get
Speaker 1: out of debt. My frugal living. My frugal lifestyle is
Speaker 1: aimed at a certain goal, although I do not anticipate
Speaker 1: throwing frugality out the window once I'm debt free. So
Speaker 1: I also see all of these tenets of frugality being
Speaker 1: able to help me even towards things that I want
Speaker 1: to be a part of my life long term, like generosity,
Speaker 1: giving people gifts, being able to pay like this sounds
Speaker 1: so silly, but it's something that I really want to
Speaker 1: be able to do. I've done in small measure, uh,
Speaker 1: and I really enjoy it, like paying to take people
Speaker 1: out to dinner, or dropping off gifts two people just
Speaker 1: because or whatever the cases, just valuing other people. I'm
Speaker 1: hoping I can do that with my finances because I
Speaker 1: cut out other non essentials. Yes. Yes, so our frugality
Speaker 1: started the same way for our wise to get out
Speaker 1: of debt, and since getting out of student loan in
Speaker 1: car debt. It's become a way to two things. It
Speaker 1: keeps me from having decision fatigue so a lot. There
Speaker 1: are so many opportunities to buy bye bye, and having
Speaker 1: a frugal and minimalist mindset keeps me from the stress
Speaker 1: of making decisions of what to buy because my immediate
Speaker 1: answer is always no, don't buy it, and then I
Speaker 1: run it through that filter and then say, okay, maybe
Speaker 1: I'll buy it. Um. And then it also limits financial stress.
Speaker 1: So if I'm not buying a lot of things that
Speaker 1: I don't need, I don't have all that money coming
Speaker 1: out of my bank account, and I can have a
Speaker 1: good cushion in my checking account, and I don't have
Speaker 1: to feel stressed about putting my bills on auto debit
Speaker 1: because I know there's money in there for my bills
Speaker 1: to come out, and I don't overdraft. That feels so
Speaker 1: good too. Then the no fear of overdraft. All right,
Speaker 1: let's move on. So dev In Devin asks why also cute?
Speaker 1: Mm hmm, This one really hit home for me. It's
Speaker 1: a super research question. So I'm gonna say, um, it's
Speaker 1: it's my my mom and my dad UM play a
Speaker 1: big part in that. UM. And then also like wearing
Speaker 1: clothes that fit me. Yeah, good answer. It's a super
Speaker 1: thought provoking one for me. I would say, when God
Speaker 1: was creating me and there were all the descriptor options
Speaker 1: of super attractive, beautiful, gorgeous, not much to look at, cute,
Speaker 1: he chose cute, he picked really cute, he picked cute. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he slapped it on and was like this is this
Speaker 1: is good enough? Yeah? Thanks for that question of Stevens.
Speaker 1: All right, Melissa asks, h do you break up with
Speaker 1: a hairstylist or photographer for the sake of frugality? Okay,
Speaker 1: this one's a complicated one. Here you go yes and no,
Speaker 1: so and this is this will be this will be
Speaker 1: the answer all throughout. Right, really depends not not the
Speaker 1: diaper that you wear in your old age. So it
Speaker 1: depending on whether that's how you want to spend your
Speaker 1: money or not. So frugality is all about saving on
Speaker 1: the things you need or you don't really care that
Speaker 1: much about but have to purchase, so that you can
Speaker 1: spend on the things that you want to spend your
Speaker 1: money on. So, if it is really valuable for you
Speaker 1: to have really quality photos of your family taken once
Speaker 1: or twice a year, then yeah, spring for that. If
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, this is just an obligation. I don't
Speaker 1: even know why I do this. I could certainly do
Speaker 1: this myself. Or I don't want to send out Christmas cards,
Speaker 1: so why do I need to take pictures? Then don't
Speaker 1: um So Also side note, we are recording in a
Speaker 1: big lobby, and people are passionate if someone saying someone
Speaker 1: is clapping, they are not passionate about what we are
Speaker 1: saying hijacking are recording anyhow, So it really does depend
Speaker 1: on whether or not that's a thing of value to
Speaker 1: you and whether or not that's something that you want
Speaker 1: to spend your money on. Yeah, I would say if
Speaker 1: it's something that you feel obligated to do. Like we
Speaker 1: have a family hairstylist who the last few times has
Speaker 1: not really been doing a good job on my hair. Um,
Speaker 1: she's really good friends with my mom, and we feel
Speaker 1: kind of obligated. Um, And I've just made the decision
Speaker 1: that next time I spend the money to get my
Speaker 1: hair done, I'm gonna go somewhere else. Because frugality can
Speaker 1: also create boldness within you, because it takes boldness to
Speaker 1: tell your family, like I'm not getting you all fifty
Speaker 1: gifts or like your hairdresser when you run into them
Speaker 1: and you have a new haircut, being like I went
Speaker 1: to somebody new like. You have to cultivate boldness, that's true,
Speaker 1: the ability to say no. It's been a sponsor. So
Speaker 1: if it's something that is not your best, yes, say
Speaker 1: no to it. You don't have to do that. You
Speaker 1: don't have to do the thing that everybody else is doing.
Speaker 1: You don't have to save the way that everybody is
Speaker 1: the saving, or spend the way everybody else suspending. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: So our next question comes from Virginia. How do you
Speaker 1: find the balance that works for you between paying off
Speaker 1: debt and enjoying life at the same time responsibly? Of
Speaker 1: course nice Nice add on their Virginia. Yeah, I would
Speaker 1: say it comes in time. Uh. At first, you really
Speaker 1: are going to be really gung ho in one direction
Speaker 1: and really in an non sustainable way. Um, very like
Speaker 1: on everything, and in time you will learn the things
Speaker 1: that you want to spend money on and learn the
Speaker 1: things that oh I didn't know. I would be okay
Speaker 1: not having this um or downgrading on this, but I
Speaker 1: really am. And just giving yourself the opportunity to to
Speaker 1: see that and realize that. So it comes. It comes
Speaker 1: with time, figuring out what the balance looks like for
Speaker 1: you doing some fun things that cost money or important
Speaker 1: things that cost money, and then some that don't. So
Speaker 1: for me, I would say that, well, a couple of
Speaker 1: things to say about this. Number one is to pick
Speaker 1: the amount that you want to put towards debt every
Speaker 1: and so at minimum do that, and then then there
Speaker 1: can be months where you do go above and beyond
Speaker 1: with debt payoff. But then if there are months where
Speaker 1: you might have spent a little bit more on something
Speaker 1: that you enjoy, it doesn't have to be a guilty
Speaker 1: or shameful thing because you've put you've put the amount
Speaker 1: of money that you wanted to put towards debt at minimum.
Speaker 1: Sure you didn't go above and beyond maybe like you
Speaker 1: did the last two months, but there might be able
Speaker 1: to be less shame or guilt in that. Also. I
Speaker 1: really love We talked about this with Alison Baggerley from
Speaker 1: Inspired Budget about how this happens that on our debt
Speaker 1: journey debt payoff journey, we don't always hit the brass
Speaker 1: ring every single time, and that there are times where
Speaker 1: if we were to view it like a journey or
Speaker 1: a road trip where we pull the car over. Sometimes
Speaker 1: you stop for a potty break, you get lunch, you
Speaker 1: get back in the car. Sometimes you're driving thirty, other
Speaker 1: times you're driving eighty. Who knows you're switching roads, right,
Speaker 1: So this is a journey, and if we can almost
Speaker 1: most most of life is that, if if we can
Speaker 1: have the right perspective on it, then we're less likely
Speaker 1: to beat ourselves up for it. So if I can
Speaker 1: see that vacation I went on and didn't didn't put
Speaker 1: as much toward debt as yeah, I had a potty break,
Speaker 1: I'm getting back into it, then it doesn't need to
Speaker 1: be so oh my word, I didn't do as much
Speaker 1: as I did. This concept of balance can be so inaccurate.
Speaker 1: That balance isn't just like everything is equal on both sides.
Speaker 1: It's the fulcrum moving to different places, and so balance
Speaker 1: looks different. Yes, I love that idea of potty breaks.
Speaker 1: You're not getting like you're you're not trying to find
Speaker 1: like a balance between two lives. You're just taking your
Speaker 1: going in and out. It's the same journey um, different
Speaker 1: parts of the same journey, alright, So our next question
Speaker 1: is from Sarah and Madeline also have this one. How
Speaker 1: do you deal with the mental part of being frugal
Speaker 1: and getting out of debt when things get really tough.
Speaker 1: That's a good one, Sarah and Madaline. So I would
Speaker 1: for myself. It was particularly difficult in my debt payoff
Speaker 1: journey when I did not make a lot of money.
Speaker 1: That was my most difficult mental part of this because
Speaker 1: I felt like I could not make any progress to it.
Speaker 1: Things were, things were staying stagnant. I was not making
Speaker 1: a lot of money. So at that point, and everyone's
Speaker 1: going to handle it differently, but I just I had
Speaker 1: to keep reminding myself it will not always look like this.
Speaker 1: This is a season, but to be very diligent about
Speaker 1: putting myself in a position for me at the time
Speaker 1: to make more money. I knew that when I wasn't
Speaker 1: going hard at my debt, I was in my master's program.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I'm going to school. It won't always look
Speaker 1: like this. And friends, being able to talk with you,
Speaker 1: being able to talk with my husband, talking with other
Speaker 1: people who who are on this journey or might be
Speaker 1: in a difficult place or might be out of a
Speaker 1: difficult place to be able to encourage me and say
Speaker 1: it's that this is just the season. Like you, this
Speaker 1: won't be for forever. So I would so encourage you
Speaker 1: to take advantage of our frugal friends Facebook community group,
Speaker 1: certainly your own local communities as well. But it is
Speaker 1: really important to have friends in that process because we
Speaker 1: can get down and sometimes things happen that are outside
Speaker 1: of our control that can feel really overwhelming. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: love this question because this was how I got into
Speaker 1: personal finance writing. I was having a really tough time.
Speaker 1: I was really really down about uh paying off debt.
Speaker 1: We were a year into our jet path and we
Speaker 1: had a year to go, and I really didn't know
Speaker 1: if I could finish the job. And I started writing.
Speaker 1: I started helping people do the things that I had
Speaker 1: been doing, and I had I had some friends of
Speaker 1: the year that had like commented on certain things and
Speaker 1: and admired us for what we were doing. And so
Speaker 1: I just started writing things down that I had been
Speaker 1: doing to help other people replicate it and helping people
Speaker 1: it's And I wasn't an expert at that time, Like
Speaker 1: I still had you know, twenty five thirty grand left
Speaker 1: of debt to pay off and It was the simple
Speaker 1: fact of I was a little further ahead than other people,
Speaker 1: and I was helping the people behind me get to
Speaker 1: where I was, and that really helped me keep going
Speaker 1: and sustained me for that last year. So if you
Speaker 1: can help someone get to where you are, that will
Speaker 1: I mean, it's worth its weighting goal staying in the space,
Speaker 1: not allowing the overwhelming part to cause you to give up.
Speaker 1: But do the little thing you can't do a lot.
Speaker 1: Put a dollar towards your debt. You're doing something and
Speaker 1: you're staying on the horse. All right. This next one
Speaker 1: comes from Catherine. How do you not get too obsessed
Speaker 1: with finances? Uh, don't ask me. It's my answer too,
Speaker 1: because she's describing Finkhan as her pilgrimage to the mecca
Speaker 1: of finance and I and I'm going to leave it
Speaker 1: at that. I'm not even going to answer that question. Jill, Okay.
Speaker 1: So I love this question because I have started to
Speaker 1: see that in myself and it's a new experience where
Speaker 1: I love looking at my budget. Actually, Jenn and I
Speaker 1: asked this question to each other the other day. What
Speaker 1: do we love spending money on? And I think I
Speaker 1: think it's paying off debt. I do actually love throwing
Speaker 1: money at debt. It just a little scary because I
Speaker 1: don't want to be in debt again about what it's
Speaker 1: going to be when I'm out of debt. But looking
Speaker 1: at the spreadsheets and the budget, and I would not
Speaker 1: describe myself as a type a person, but seeing that
Speaker 1: I am reaching a goal and I'm close to finishing it,
Speaker 1: it's starting to become obsessive for me. So and I
Speaker 1: have not arrived on this one. Catherine, I'm right there
Speaker 1: with you, But I will say I have limited myself
Speaker 1: to looking at my debt payoff, looking at or reconciling
Speaker 1: my budget until each pay day, so every we get
Speaker 1: paid every two weeks, and that is when I look
Speaker 1: at our our debt, reconcile our budget, and then I
Speaker 1: step away from it. So it is putting some limitations
Speaker 1: on it for me. I mean, certainly, if there's something
Speaker 1: necessary or pressing that I need to go back and
Speaker 1: look at, then I do that. But for the most part,
Speaker 1: also living life outside of that, like, Okay, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: put this away. There's nothing more I can do with
Speaker 1: my budget except stare at it right and then and
Speaker 1: to to be able to have people around me to
Speaker 1: also help keep a temperature of am I getting too
Speaker 1: obsessed with well how do I pay this off faster?
Speaker 1: And what other side hustles can I do? And leaving
Speaker 1: the amount of money that I have coming in kind
Speaker 1: of where it's where it's at and growing, growing, like
Speaker 1: bootstrapping myself. They're not giving all of my time to
Speaker 1: this debt payoff like I also need to live. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm glad you answered that. Yeah, alright. Our next question
Speaker 1: is from Lauren, and she asked, do you have a
Speaker 1: favorite Debt Free community member who you recommend other people
Speaker 1: follow for inspiration advice other than the people we've already interviewed. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So this is where I'm gonna let Jenny answer this one,
Speaker 1: because my friends at this point are the people that
Speaker 1: we've interviewed. So I don't want to keep throwing at
Speaker 1: you people you can already look back and find. So
Speaker 1: I'm gonna first I'm gonna read rate the people that
Speaker 1: we love UM that we follow and have interviews or
Speaker 1: Merrily from Easy budget um online and on Instagram obviously,
Speaker 1: Allison from Inspired Budget, Andy Hill from Marriage, Kids and Money,
Speaker 1: Chris Browning from Popcorn finance. We love all of the
Speaker 1: all of those people. Um. We had Joel large Guard
Speaker 1: on Joel lars Guard from How to Money podcast another
Speaker 1: great one. And honestly, we just we we see someone
Speaker 1: we really like and we bring them on our show.
Speaker 1: We only have people we really like on our show.
Speaker 1: It's true. Yeah. And I love that Jen usually is
Speaker 1: the one who gets people on the show. And I
Speaker 1: love that about how just your standards that if we're
Speaker 1: putting something in front of you, we actually believe in
Speaker 1: them and we agree. Well, we don't always agree with everything,
Speaker 1: but but I mean that's why we have people on
Speaker 1: to share different views. Um. So, someone that we had
Speaker 1: not it on but we'll have on in the future
Speaker 1: is Caroline bencel from Caroline benceil dot com. She helps
Speaker 1: uh stay at home moms bring in income. Um and
Speaker 1: I I really I like the budgeting wife on Instagram. Um,
Speaker 1: budget girl on YouTube. We're gonna have her on the show. Um. Yeah. Honestly,
Speaker 1: everybody everybody I can think of, we we've brought on
Speaker 1: the show, and and people that I can't think of yet.
Speaker 1: As soon as I find out I like them, I
Speaker 1: asked them to be the show. I would even recommend
Speaker 1: going to some of these people's pages or podcasts that
Speaker 1: we have had on or that Jen just mentioned and
Speaker 1: see who their network is. And so if you're looking
Speaker 1: to grow your content input, then I'm sure you'll find
Speaker 1: others through. Yeah, that's called networking, right. Yeah, the Minimalists.
Speaker 1: We haven't had the Minimalists on the show, so I
Speaker 1: love them. If I anybody has any connections, shoot me
Speaker 1: an email. Nice. Okay, So this next one comes from Joscelyn.
Speaker 1: What's the most unfrugal thing you're willing to pay for
Speaker 1: that you might be embarrassed about. I wanted to include
Speaker 1: this question because I can say with full confidence that
Speaker 1: I am not embarrassed about anything that I spend money
Speaker 1: on ice. I can be embarrassed about a lot of things,
Speaker 1: but what I spend money on I have full confidence in.
Speaker 1: I pay a crap ton every month for CrossFit membership,
Speaker 1: love it, value it. Sometimes I shop at the regular
Speaker 1: grocery store and I buy stuff in boxes and and
Speaker 1: sometimes I just impulse by at the grocery store, proud
Speaker 1: of it. Yeah, I I really because I've gotten so
Speaker 1: many other areas of my finances under control. If I
Speaker 1: spend money on something. I'm like, yes, I can afford this,
Speaker 1: It's in the budget. So this is a growing this
Speaker 1: is something that I have head knowledge of that if
Speaker 1: it's if it's important to me and I have the
Speaker 1: money for it, then I should be okay spending it.
Speaker 1: I do agree with that, but I will say there
Speaker 1: are times when I'll buy something or spend money on something.
Speaker 1: I'm like, if any of my frugal friends knew about it,
Speaker 1: what would they think, which I think is where your
Speaker 1: question is coming from. Honestly, none of it is anything
Speaker 1: super expensive. It's just usually when I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: spending money on something because I'm being lazy. So an
Speaker 1: example of that would be or even something that is
Speaker 1: different from how I used to spend money. So when
Speaker 1: I would go to the grocery store or to purchase
Speaker 1: supplies for my home, it would be what is the
Speaker 1: cheapest possible thing I can get? And that was normally
Speaker 1: like nine cent soap at Walmart. And now that Eric
Speaker 1: and I live in a motor and a trailer, I'm
Speaker 1: a little bit more conscious about my use of things
Speaker 1: and what we're putting back into the ground. So we've
Speaker 1: been buying plant based all organic shampoos soaps. To me,
Speaker 1: it feels very bougie, very different from how I would
Speaker 1: typically live my life or how I would spend money.
Speaker 1: But yet it's going towards something that I value. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm going from spending eighty nine cents to maybe
Speaker 1: three dollars, which at face value wouldn't seem like the
Speaker 1: quote unquote frugal thing to do. But yeah, it is
Speaker 1: fitting well into my lifestyle because I am cutting costs
Speaker 1: in so many other ways. If I think of something
Speaker 1: that I'm embarrassed about, if I feel a tinge of embarrassment,
Speaker 1: I'll post it in the group. Okay, I will make
Speaker 1: that commitment. Same. I love that you asked the questions,
Speaker 1: So we're gonna We're gonna do that. Okay. So our
Speaker 1: next question is from Sarah and she asks what are
Speaker 1: your best tips for avoiding feelings of deprivation while getting
Speaker 1: out of debt? Yes, that's a good question, Sarah. So
Speaker 1: for me, I would say being able to have little
Speaker 1: treats along the way. That can be so simple though,
Speaker 1: and this comes with self knowledge. There's so many things
Speaker 1: about finances and frugality that get us in touch with
Speaker 1: other things about ourselves that can help us in relationships
Speaker 1: and emotionally and professionally anyhow, knowing yourself, knowing what is
Speaker 1: a kindness to yourself, if I can phrase it that way.
Speaker 1: And so for me, it is buying gum, No go up, broke,
Speaker 1: I am I purchase um and and it's it's not expensive.
Speaker 1: It's a small treat, but it's really important to me.
Speaker 1: If if you were to take away gum from me
Speaker 1: in my debt payoff journey allmally, that would not go.
Speaker 1: I get it that for some people it's not going
Speaker 1: to be that. It will probably be something a little
Speaker 1: bit more expensive. But I would say, allow yourself a
Speaker 1: few things that you know are going to be a
Speaker 1: kindness to yourself that will help sustain you in this process.
Speaker 1: So that might mean one one new awesome article of
Speaker 1: clothing every two months, or getting your hair cut at
Speaker 1: the salona, not trying to hack it yourself. Whatever it is.
Speaker 1: It's going to be different for everybody, but treats along
Speaker 1: the way. So let me get psychology ish on you. Yes,
Speaker 1: motivation is uh can be extrinsic or intrinsic. So I
Speaker 1: am really motivated by by extrinsic factors. So something doing
Speaker 1: something outside of myself to keep me going to that point.
Speaker 1: So something extremes for me was eating out at one
Speaker 1: of my favorite quick service restaurants or or low cost
Speaker 1: like not a fancy sit down restaurant, but a good
Speaker 1: a good amount of money but like not too expensive,
Speaker 1: And I would allow myself that once a month and
Speaker 1: that would keep me going. If I could reach my goals,
Speaker 1: then I could have that dinner out and that was
Speaker 1: a motivator for me to get to the next through
Speaker 1: the next thirty days or two weeks or whatever I
Speaker 1: had set for myself. So especially if I was doing
Speaker 1: a no spend challenge, at the end of every challenge,
Speaker 1: I would treat myself with either like a really fancy latte,
Speaker 1: like one of those like six dollar ones that you
Speaker 1: look at and you're like nope, but I would get
Speaker 1: it after my nosemend challenge, or I would go out
Speaker 1: to eat, like food is my thing. If you don't
Speaker 1: go crazy because you're just gonna undo everything that you
Speaker 1: just work. Coffee away from me on my debt free journey,
Speaker 1: I would have I would not have been a good
Speaker 1: version of myself exactly. Yeah, we have to have things
Speaker 1: to look forward to. So whether that's an immediate thing
Speaker 1: or or you can wait longer term, and it can
Speaker 1: be six months from now, I'm going to go on
Speaker 1: a weekend away with some friends. Whatever it is, definitely
Speaker 1: pack those into this journey, plan it out, put it
Speaker 1: on the calendar, have it be irregular part of your journey,
Speaker 1: and then you'll never feel those feelings. I mean, you
Speaker 1: could feel those feelings of deprivation, but you always know
Speaker 1: there's something on the horizon, there's something coming up to
Speaker 1: reward yourself. Just plant it in a good word. Okay.
Speaker 1: So we've got another question coming from Sarah. A lot
Speaker 1: of Sarah's in the group all different, so don't think
Speaker 1: that we're giving preference to one Sarah over another Sarah.
Speaker 1: So this one, she says, how do you divide household
Speaker 1: chores between you and your guys? Do you feel like
Speaker 1: it's going well? Would you ever pay someone to do
Speaker 1: certain things to avoid arguing? Sarah? Sounds like it's coming
Speaker 1: from some person coming from place. Sarah. I appreciate the
Speaker 1: vulnerability in your question. Is your is your partner in
Speaker 1: the group too? You want them to see this for counseling. No,
Speaker 1: we we do face that do you have? So we
Speaker 1: really don't have it defined. You do this chore, I'll
Speaker 1: do this chore. Parenting, co parenting. It's really when the
Speaker 1: other person is done or indisposed, the other person picks
Speaker 1: up the slack and it's I don't know. We've kind
Speaker 1: of just created the synergy where we you know, if
Speaker 1: the dishes pile up, we either live in them or
Speaker 1: somebody does them, and we don't get mad if one
Speaker 1: person doesn't do that. So we've got grace for each
Speaker 1: other and we have like servants hearts towards each other.
Speaker 1: So that's kind of how we we work it. It's
Speaker 1: it's very loose. I do I think you're you're hitting
Speaker 1: on something important that backs it up before even answering
Speaker 1: that question. So much of this has to do with
Speaker 1: how do you and your spouse relate to each other?
Speaker 1: So that's that's a whole other thing. So much of
Speaker 1: it is communication ahead of time of what who's is
Speaker 1: who's and do we feel like that's a fair negotiation.
Speaker 1: I think the word negotiation has been so lost in
Speaker 1: marriage that I think it's it is a helpful tool
Speaker 1: that we can be using either meeting in the middle
Speaker 1: or yeah, you win this time if you even want
Speaker 1: to word it that way, or like or yes, well
Speaker 1: we will do this this way for this time that
Speaker 1: it benefits you, and then next time will do it
Speaker 1: this way so that it benefits me if the middle
Speaker 1: ground doesn't really benefit anybody, So I would say, first
Speaker 1: start by negotiating and does it feel fair? But beyond that,
Speaker 1: am I do I feel happy with with what I'm
Speaker 1: contributing and is it contingent on what my spouse is contributing? So,
Speaker 1: and to back this up, here's how I approach this.
Speaker 1: I do a lot of the typically domestic roles within
Speaker 1: the home, but I do it because my husband does
Speaker 1: all of the jobs that I would never want to do,
Speaker 1: Like we live in a camper, and he deals with
Speaker 1: the septic, he fixes the roof, He builds things for
Speaker 1: me so he does, he figures out the internet. He
Speaker 1: does a lot of things that I'm really glad that
Speaker 1: I don't have to do I don't want to do.
Speaker 1: And so I do laundry a lot of times. I
Speaker 1: will do the dishes. I'll do some of like the
Speaker 1: floor cleaning, whatever, because I'm happy with like I'm glad
Speaker 1: to do that, and so I am one of those
Speaker 1: people who like zips up the zippers on the pants, buttons,
Speaker 1: it checks the pockets. All that I do not ask
Speaker 1: my husband to do those things because to me, he
Speaker 1: is going above and beyond in so many other ways
Speaker 1: that like, I am happy to serve him in that
Speaker 1: way to say I will one take care of it.
Speaker 1: I have decided that I will not hold a grudge
Speaker 1: if he doesn't do things the way that I want
Speaker 1: them done, I can do them. So a lot of
Speaker 1: it is the decisions that we make ahead of time,
Speaker 1: our perspectives on it. For me, I've decided that I'm
Speaker 1: not going to get upset if he does something the
Speaker 1: way that I don't that I don't want it to
Speaker 1: be done, because I do see so much value in
Speaker 1: what he is bringing to the tables. All right, this
Speaker 1: is our last question all we have time for. Marylyst
Speaker 1: asked what was your favorite least expensive place to travel
Speaker 1: to or type of travel? I eat cruise first road trip.
Speaker 1: So I love using group on and we've bought a
Speaker 1: couple of vacations through group on. It's super inexpensive, but
Speaker 1: yet you can go to a lot of different places.
Speaker 1: So we haven't been on this trip yet, so I
Speaker 1: don't know if I could say it's my favorite, but
Speaker 1: it's the one I'm most looking forward to. We are
Speaker 1: going on a trip to Europe. We're going to see
Speaker 1: both Paris and Barcelona, where flights are included and hotel
Speaker 1: and eight days and breakfast, and we paid two thousand dollars,
Speaker 1: so that to me was was pretty inexpensive. Obviously, if
Speaker 1: we want to just go super inexpensive traveling with friends
Speaker 1: and getting an airbnb together and finding one that has
Speaker 1: maybe like a pool table and a hot tub that
Speaker 1: you can enjoy and you all bring meals, that's super
Speaker 1: inexpensive and it does feel like a nice getaway. Yes,
Speaker 1: I have found that Travis and I vacation the best
Speaker 1: when things are included. When we have to decide whether
Speaker 1: we need to spend money on something while we're on vacation,
Speaker 1: we we won't agree, we won't have the time to
Speaker 1: discuss it uh in order to come to an agreement.
Speaker 1: So we have found paying a premium for a cruise
Speaker 1: or something that's all inclusive is worth it to us.
Speaker 1: And it's not the most frugal thing, um, but you
Speaker 1: don't have to pull out your wallet while you're there, right,
Speaker 1: and I it's it's what I value. I will pay
Speaker 1: more for a cruiser, an all inclusive resort because that
Speaker 1: will limit my need for a vacation from my vacation
Speaker 1: when I get home. Yes, well, guys, we are out
Speaker 1: of time. This has been another episode of the Frugal
Speaker 1: Friends podcast. Yes, we are so excited. This was a
Speaker 1: great episode. We had friends walking by making us laugh.
Speaker 1: We are on location at Finncon nineteen in Washington, d C.
Speaker 1: And we will be back to your regular scheduled programming
Speaker 1: next Friday. Join us on the Frugal Friends podcast Facebook
Speaker 1: community group and ask more questions and ask each other
Speaker 1: questions because this is fun and we need to be
Speaker 1: real about how we approach finances. A Good Word by
Speaker 1: Frugal Friends is produced, edited and mixed by Eric Serrian.
Speaker 1: So Eric was going in front of us holding your baby.
Speaker 1: I was so hard to focus keeping it together. Eric
Speaker 1: just walking by with that baby. I heard him, I
Speaker 1: heard him cry and then yeah, Eric picked him up.
Speaker 1: And now there was a question about when are Travis
Speaker 1: and Eric gonna have my gosh their own podcast episode,
Speaker 1: which I think that's a great idea. That's going to come. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we will do that. You should hear their voices. I'm
Speaker 1: so proud of them this week. So they're both at
Speaker 1: Fincoon with us, and they Eric separate from Travis for lunch.
Speaker 1: Just got chips and guacamole from Chipotle, and Travis got
Speaker 1: one taco from a taco truck. I think collectively they
Speaker 1: spent five dollars on lunch. And I was like, Oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, you guys, you're so you're more frugal than
Speaker 1: we are. I'm suppressed or is that cheap? I don't
Speaker 1: know you can buy food. I value food. Oh, but
Speaker 1: I'm so proud of them, So yeah, you should to
Speaker 1: hear from them. Kind of Eric for sustaining himself on avocados.
Speaker 1: Our reality has rubbed off on them so much that
Speaker 1: they're killing it more than we are. They're like killing themselves,
Speaker 1: starving themselves all right by