1 00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:16,440 Speaker 1: Radio radio Radio. He's a myth and bullshit. A radio 2 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:24,040 Speaker 1: phonic novella Local Radio hosted by Malamuno and Ala Locomotives. 3 00:00:24,079 --> 00:00:28,720 Speaker 1: Welcome back, Allow allow, Welcome back to another capt Brown 4 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:32,600 Speaker 1: Girl Hour. Welcome back to local radio. This is and 5 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:35,519 Speaker 1: this is Malamos. Look at a radio is where we 6 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:39,120 Speaker 1: celebrate the legacies and geniuses of women and fems of color. 7 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:44,040 Speaker 1: And we're back. Yes, you know, we're just moving right along. 8 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:51,280 Speaker 1: I know. And the last cap was super cute. It 9 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:55,120 Speaker 1: was so fun answering listener questions. Are locomotives sent in 10 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:58,880 Speaker 1: a bunch of questions. We answered twenty of them, and 11 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:01,080 Speaker 1: we found out that a well of our locomotives have 12 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:04,759 Speaker 1: little crushes on us and we're asking about dating and stuff. 13 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:07,040 Speaker 1: And that was for me, that was the highlight. Was 14 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:10,240 Speaker 1: really fun. The last episode was just it was like, 15 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:14,880 Speaker 1: oh my god, like internal drama, internal gossip. I love it. Right, 16 00:01:14,959 --> 00:01:19,759 Speaker 1: So that makes me wonder, like would you ever date? Well? 17 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:22,720 Speaker 1: I think that like, let's talk about this, right, because 18 00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:25,200 Speaker 1: I think that it would be wise to have like 19 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:29,280 Speaker 1: a no dating listeners rule. I agree, but I think 20 00:01:29,319 --> 00:01:32,560 Speaker 1: that just like with all rules, there must be exceptions 21 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 1: to be sermon, let us see can you bend the rules? 22 00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:39,520 Speaker 1: Can can the rules be bent for you? I think 23 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:43,000 Speaker 1: it's possible if the right one comes along. I completely 24 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,680 Speaker 1: agree with you. But we have our standards. I had 25 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:51,240 Speaker 1: no dating coworkers rule, and I ended up right co workers. 26 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:55,320 Speaker 1: Now we are in a relationship, so there's exceptions most 27 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:58,760 Speaker 1: every rule, right, healthy exceptions. I completely agree with you. 28 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:00,720 Speaker 1: But yeah, that was a fun So thank you so 29 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 1: much everybody who submitted questions. We're gonna do more yes, 30 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:07,320 Speaker 1: um listener questions. We're gonna bring in more questions. We 31 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,920 Speaker 1: didn't bring in any for this episode today, but I 32 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:12,120 Speaker 1: did see on the Curious Campy that y'all were still 33 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:14,360 Speaker 1: sub many questions, So I'm really happy about that, and 34 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:17,919 Speaker 1: we will answer some for the next absolutely. Yeah. So 35 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:21,000 Speaker 1: we just want to also do an update because we 36 00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:25,520 Speaker 1: have been getting a few emails from universities UM some 37 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:29,720 Speaker 1: form of request and then some inquiries whatever that world, inquiries, 38 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:34,640 Speaker 1: inquiries whatever, yes, yes, to bring us out to campus. Yeah. 39 00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:37,359 Speaker 1: And we saw a pattern with some of the students 40 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:40,600 Speaker 1: that were reaching out to us UM that they hadn't 41 00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:44,320 Speaker 1: necessarily partnered with a student organization or a department. So 42 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:46,680 Speaker 1: we just wanted to go over some of that because 43 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:48,920 Speaker 1: we both worked in student affairs while we were in 44 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:52,160 Speaker 1: doing so, Like, basically, this is kind of like I 45 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:56,200 Speaker 1: did an Instagram like story thread basically just kind of 46 00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:58,520 Speaker 1: breaking down how do you bring a speaker to your 47 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:01,120 Speaker 1: university or to your college. Right, there's a way to 48 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:09,280 Speaker 1: go about it. Speakers, artists, visiting lectures, visiting performers, whoever. UM. 49 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:13,240 Speaker 1: Usually there's something called an honorarium. Right, that is basically 50 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:17,160 Speaker 1: like what they're being compensated for for their work. You're 51 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:21,120 Speaker 1: paying people for their labor, for their labor, and most 52 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:24,799 Speaker 1: universities colleges when they bring out some type of a 53 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:30,280 Speaker 1: visiting teacher, lecture, artist, whoever, usually what happens traditionally is 54 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:33,880 Speaker 1: there's an honorarium set aside for that speaker for their work. 55 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:38,000 Speaker 1: And then in addition to the honorarium, there is some 56 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:43,040 Speaker 1: type of budget to cover flights, UM, to cover hotels, 57 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:46,520 Speaker 1: you know, transportation things like that. So, like back in 58 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:49,960 Speaker 1: the day when we were in undergrad like I was 59 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:54,160 Speaker 1: really involved UM at my university's Latino Center, the Women's Center, 60 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:57,440 Speaker 1: the Association of Latin American Students, and I was on 61 00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:00,720 Speaker 1: the student Senate and if you're at a university, UM, 62 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:03,000 Speaker 1: and you're not involved in student government or you're not 63 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:05,440 Speaker 1: in a club, what you should know is that most 64 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:11,040 Speaker 1: universities have a ton of money set aside specifically for 65 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:15,840 Speaker 1: like student activities, for clubs, for for student organizations, for 66 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:18,880 Speaker 1: students to utilize. That money is for you to use. 67 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:21,920 Speaker 1: And a lot of the times your student fees are 68 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:26,279 Speaker 1: already included yep. So you're already paying into allocating fees 69 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:29,440 Speaker 1: to bring a guest speaker exactly, So fucking bring women 70 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:33,279 Speaker 1: of color, bring fams, being queer folks, bring disabled people exactly, 71 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:37,600 Speaker 1: q T, POC, all of that. So if yeah, I mean, 72 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:39,480 Speaker 1: and if you've never done it before, it can seem 73 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:43,960 Speaker 1: um there's a lot of like bureaucracy behind it. Um. 74 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,960 Speaker 1: So yeah, the best way to get your basically, it's 75 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:49,920 Speaker 1: a matter of like like yours just said, you're paying, 76 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,960 Speaker 1: you're paying tuition already, where you have financial aid, you're 77 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,440 Speaker 1: paying some type of a student life fee whatever they 78 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:58,920 Speaker 1: call it. The money is already there for this specific purpose, 79 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:01,840 Speaker 1: and it's for student to enrich your own education how 80 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:04,600 Speaker 1: you want to. So the best way to get access 81 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:07,119 Speaker 1: to that money and to pitch an idea for an event, 82 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:10,719 Speaker 1: for a speaker, Join a club, join a sorority, join 83 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:14,080 Speaker 1: a student organization, join your student senate, and you can 84 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:17,360 Speaker 1: make those events happen. You can get that funding allocated 85 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:20,680 Speaker 1: and bring out speakers like for example. Yeah, you could 86 00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:23,680 Speaker 1: also pitch it to a professor if it goes like 87 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:26,560 Speaker 1: with your course work, you could pitch it to them 88 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:29,280 Speaker 1: and then they can also go about it with you. 89 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:35,760 Speaker 1: Academic departments aside from student activities funding, like major's academic departments, 90 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:38,360 Speaker 1: they have their own funding to bring people for panels, 91 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:41,760 Speaker 1: for conferences, guest lectures, all that good stuff. So if 92 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,280 Speaker 1: you have more questions, feel free to email us d 93 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:46,680 Speaker 1: m s because we've gotten a lot of emails from 94 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,200 Speaker 1: all over the country at this point. It's exciting. It's 95 00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:52,839 Speaker 1: very pasting it under wraps. Yeah, I don't like to 96 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:55,200 Speaker 1: I want to speak things into existence, but I also 97 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:59,400 Speaker 1: don't like to prematurely stay anything. Yeah, Like it's happening. 98 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:02,040 Speaker 1: The require us are coming in um. Nothing has been 99 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:05,360 Speaker 1: made final yet, but it's happening. Yes, Like you guys 100 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:07,679 Speaker 1: are reaching out to us and it's really really really 101 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:12,880 Speaker 1: cute and excite. Be at a university sometime soon. We'll announce, 102 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:16,520 Speaker 1: of course you will. Also on a side note, we're 103 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:20,840 Speaker 1: recording at a nine and boil high, shout out. We 104 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:25,000 Speaker 1: noticed that the last um the sound was very low, 105 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:29,400 Speaker 1: and we're finding out that other radio hosts were also 106 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:32,880 Speaker 1: having that issue. So there is a new sound equipment. Um, 107 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:36,480 Speaker 1: we're figuring that out. Yeah, hope hopefully it doesn't affect 108 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:39,120 Speaker 1: our sound for too long. I hope you can hear it. 109 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:41,159 Speaker 1: Hope you can hear us trying to hope we do 110 00:06:41,279 --> 00:06:44,760 Speaker 1: not have to re record this. Oh God forbid. We've 111 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:48,120 Speaker 1: done that before. We had to record three times and 112 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:51,760 Speaker 1: it was so embarrassing because it was with cheese. I mean, 113 00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:54,680 Speaker 1: we had a guess. We kept messing up, we kept 114 00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:57,080 Speaker 1: effing up the state. It was horrible, but we got it. 115 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,200 Speaker 1: We got our take, We got our final take. We 116 00:07:00,279 --> 00:07:07,279 Speaker 1: did so the meats, the oh my god, this listeners 117 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:12,360 Speaker 1: look on what this is all all podcasts. I would 118 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:15,760 Speaker 1: say this is like a controversial topic a little bit, 119 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:17,960 Speaker 1: a little bit, a little like it could be. Yeah, 120 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:24,880 Speaker 1: you know so anyway, today we are talking about Yes, 121 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:28,640 Speaker 1: the side chick, the mistress, the side chick, the side piece, 122 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:33,440 Speaker 1: the lover, the lover. You know what, we're talking about. 123 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:36,280 Speaker 1: You know what a side chicken is because you've been one, 124 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:40,400 Speaker 1: You've dealt with a side chick, whatever the case may be. 125 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:43,400 Speaker 1: And Biosa and I have our own stories and our 126 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:48,160 Speaker 1: own experiences with side chick culture. I would say, we do, 127 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:51,960 Speaker 1: we do, we do, So let's just get into Let's 128 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,760 Speaker 1: get into it. There's so much to talk about. We 129 00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:56,960 Speaker 1: just need to get started. Let's do it. Okay. So 130 00:07:57,120 --> 00:08:00,520 Speaker 1: when thinking about this topic, I was thinking about, of course, 131 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:05,520 Speaker 1: our families are upbringing, and I was thinking about how 132 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:09,960 Speaker 1: it is an unkept secret in Latin x homes that 133 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:14,000 Speaker 1: your father, your theo someone some man, and your father, 134 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:18,440 Speaker 1: your grandfather has either another family that everybody knows about 135 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:21,360 Speaker 1: and either interacts with them or pretends they don't exist. 136 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:26,640 Speaker 1: Or there's another muhent either in Latin America or down 137 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:30,360 Speaker 1: the block or down the block. And it's funny because 138 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:34,440 Speaker 1: at one time I did this poll, like I did 139 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:38,600 Speaker 1: a survey on Twitter, basically, you know, to prove the 140 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:41,559 Speaker 1: thesis once again that men are trash. Of course, that 141 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,800 Speaker 1: men are garbage. So I needed empirical evidence, like I 142 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:47,520 Speaker 1: needed statistical information, scientific proof proof that men are garbage, 143 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:50,320 Speaker 1: and I got it, I got my proof. Of course, 144 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:53,440 Speaker 1: I have nothing but proof I have received, so my pole. 145 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:57,240 Speaker 1: The question was basically like, have you ever dealt with 146 00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:59,240 Speaker 1: if you date men, if you deal with men? Have 147 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:02,760 Speaker 1: you ever met a man dated a man a Latino specifically, 148 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:08,880 Speaker 1: who Latino assist gender heterosexual Latino? The problem children of 149 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:14,360 Speaker 1: the world, you guys regrets. Anyways, I'm talking about you, um. 150 00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:17,400 Speaker 1: Have you ever dealt with a Latino assist gender heterosexual 151 00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:21,920 Speaker 1: Latino who lied about having kids, lied about having a family, 152 00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:25,480 Speaker 1: lied about having a girlfriend. And has that happened to 153 00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:27,680 Speaker 1: you once? Has it happened to you twice? Has it 154 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,320 Speaker 1: happened to you multiple times? Have you ran into multiple 155 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:33,880 Speaker 1: Latino men who have lied on their entire families? And 156 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:37,480 Speaker 1: the vast majority of people who responded to the poll said, Yep, 157 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:40,000 Speaker 1: that's happened to me twice. That's happened to me three times. 158 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:43,120 Speaker 1: That's happened to me over five times. It's happened to 159 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:47,440 Speaker 1: me personally me Yola, I've been lied up. I've been 160 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:50,960 Speaker 1: lied to by men who will hide their girlfriends that 161 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:55,079 Speaker 1: they live with, who will hide their entire kids. Why 162 00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:58,839 Speaker 1: because they want to hook up. Because they want to 163 00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:01,760 Speaker 1: hook up and it's a hot mess. So yeah, it's 164 00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:04,240 Speaker 1: something that I think all of us have some kind 165 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:07,720 Speaker 1: of insight into this. It's kind of like it's an 166 00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:11,400 Speaker 1: end cut secret, like you know and you know, and 167 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:15,120 Speaker 1: you know, and it's talked about and it's just like 168 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:18,920 Speaker 1: it's it's in the music, Like there's talks of like 169 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:21,120 Speaker 1: the side chick and the other woman, like we can 170 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:25,960 Speaker 1: talk about like Latino music, Latin American music, Mexican music. Right. 171 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:31,920 Speaker 1: The themes are like throughout in TV and novellas, there's 172 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:35,400 Speaker 1: always themes related to having the side chick or the 173 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:41,480 Speaker 1: separate family. Yeah, so it's like you see it on 174 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:45,199 Speaker 1: like your the cultural side maybe that like I shouldn't 175 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:47,400 Speaker 1: say the cultural side. You see it on like maybe 176 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:52,800 Speaker 1: the family, the family, right, the familiar, the familiar y familiar. Um. 177 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:55,760 Speaker 1: So you see it on that side, right, and you 178 00:10:55,840 --> 00:11:00,240 Speaker 1: know it's either you're affected by it. I like it 179 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:02,920 Speaker 1: makes me think about like so say you're okay, no 180 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:04,600 Speaker 1: we're talking. I'm we're gonna sent her the side chick. 181 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:06,360 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna. We're not we're not talking about the 182 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:11,280 Speaker 1: first centering. We're talking about the secondary part. Yes, I'm not. 183 00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:14,840 Speaker 1: I'm not even going to talk about we're talking about 184 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:18,280 Speaker 1: so you know what scratched that? Everybody? Sorry, look, i'est 185 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:22,160 Speaker 1: we'll talk about that later another time, another another um. 186 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:24,200 Speaker 1: So you you deal with it on the family side, right, 187 00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:26,080 Speaker 1: and then you have to be out and about in 188 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:29,920 Speaker 1: the world wondering if the person that's lying next to you, 189 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:33,400 Speaker 1: that's texting you, that is saying that they care about you, 190 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:37,000 Speaker 1: do they have another partner, the person that is actively 191 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:42,120 Speaker 1: and a lot of times aggressively pursuing you, intentionally pursuing you. 192 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:43,920 Speaker 1: You gotta you have to wonder do you have a 193 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:46,800 Speaker 1: whole last family that you're hiding? And it may sound crazy, 194 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:48,960 Speaker 1: but you have to wonder. You have to have to wonder. 195 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:50,920 Speaker 1: And you know what, It's funny because I found myself 196 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,880 Speaker 1: being quote crazy because when my current partner and I 197 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,960 Speaker 1: were just dating, we weren't like in a relationship yet 198 00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:00,920 Speaker 1: he like went upstairs to or he went into his 199 00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:02,640 Speaker 1: apartment without me, and he was like, I'm gonna go 200 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:04,480 Speaker 1: grab something real quick. He was going to change something. 201 00:12:04,679 --> 00:12:06,120 Speaker 1: So when he came back, I was like, Oh, were 202 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:08,280 Speaker 1: you hiding this and this and this and that? Right? 203 00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:11,319 Speaker 1: And I was like, how joking? Half serious? And he 204 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:16,839 Speaker 1: couldn't tell. He was like, wait, you know that it's 205 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:19,600 Speaker 1: just you, right, And I was like, do one right? 206 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:23,320 Speaker 1: And that sounds crazy, But the thing is you've you've 207 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:26,000 Speaker 1: had that experience where someone is lying to you about 208 00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:29,280 Speaker 1: being available when they're not not available at all. So 209 00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:31,880 Speaker 1: then exactly so then those little things you're like, wait 210 00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:33,800 Speaker 1: a second, is this a red flag? Is this a 211 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:36,920 Speaker 1: red flag? Because I've seen this before? Exactly Hell yeah. 212 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:41,080 Speaker 1: And even we're young, I'm like, we're not that old, 213 00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:44,920 Speaker 1: but already I have had these experiences with men who 214 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:48,040 Speaker 1: are not even old men, middle aged men. Their men 215 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:51,480 Speaker 1: in their twenties. Men in their twenties will lie about 216 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,800 Speaker 1: their kids and obviously, Like I dealt with a guy 217 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:59,120 Speaker 1: who I was dating him for months before home girl 218 00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:02,160 Speaker 1: called me to let me know, Oh, by the way, 219 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:06,760 Speaker 1: he has a girlfriend that he lives with BT dubs. Right. 220 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:09,640 Speaker 1: I was dating a guy and it was six months 221 00:13:09,679 --> 00:13:11,280 Speaker 1: before he told me that he had a twelve year 222 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:15,360 Speaker 1: old son. Honey, okay, no sign of his child anywhere, 223 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,360 Speaker 1: not in his house, not in his room. He wasn't 224 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:21,000 Speaker 1: going to visit him. Hot mess. Our home girls. We 225 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:23,880 Speaker 1: had a home girl who like twice in like two 226 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:28,520 Speaker 1: three months, we go out, runs into two separate guys 227 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:31,120 Speaker 1: and later to find out that both of them had 228 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:36,880 Speaker 1: like newborn babies and fiance's But there they were approaching her, 229 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:41,360 Speaker 1: wanting to take her out, wanting to see her, see 230 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:44,360 Speaker 1: her on this date because they had this time. But 231 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:46,440 Speaker 1: actually they were probably just at their family. They were 232 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:50,480 Speaker 1: just with their children and their wives. Yeah, like pro tip, 233 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:52,960 Speaker 1: if you can't see him on the weekends, if you 234 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:56,400 Speaker 1: can't go over to his place, if he only comes 235 00:13:56,440 --> 00:14:01,280 Speaker 1: to you, there's something, there's something you gotta you gotta 236 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:03,400 Speaker 1: check it out, and you have to ask. And he 237 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:07,000 Speaker 1: has a child? Why somebody? And so here's and so 238 00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:10,840 Speaker 1: what's okay? Okay? So what's really t So we don't 239 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:13,480 Speaker 1: like side chicks in real life? Side chicks are negative. 240 00:14:13,679 --> 00:14:16,280 Speaker 1: But how many of us have stumbled into the side 241 00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:20,920 Speaker 1: chick role because men are fucking liars and withhold information 242 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:25,560 Speaker 1: intentionally because they don't want you to say no to them, right, 243 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:28,720 Speaker 1: because of their real life situations. They withhold their true 244 00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:31,960 Speaker 1: selves so that you can't reject them. And now you 245 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,680 Speaker 1: have been put into the place of the side chick. 246 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:35,400 Speaker 1: So what do you do? Do you get out of it? 247 00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:39,840 Speaker 1: I mean you're already say your months in, right, and 248 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:43,120 Speaker 1: you find out, what do you do? You know? I think, 249 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:45,960 Speaker 1: to each their own, to each their own, you do you? 250 00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:49,520 Speaker 1: Because historically there are so many examples. There are the 251 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:52,520 Speaker 1: side chicks who ends up, the wife who ends up, 252 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:55,120 Speaker 1: the next life partner, who ends up the next baby mother. 253 00:14:55,800 --> 00:15:01,240 Speaker 1: Let's take Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowls. Right, Prince Charles, 254 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:06,200 Speaker 1: Prince Charles was married to Princess Diana. Right, she famously 255 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:08,280 Speaker 1: divorced him. And you don't do that. You don't divorce 256 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:10,520 Speaker 1: a royal, you don't divorce a prince. But she did 257 00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:13,840 Speaker 1: because his ass was cheating on her. Right, I was, 258 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,480 Speaker 1: we were doing some light research before this episode, right, 259 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:19,840 Speaker 1: And so I guess Prince Charles started seeing Camilla Parker 260 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:23,280 Speaker 1: Bowls his quote unquote mistress um only like a year 261 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:26,560 Speaker 1: after he married Diana, right, and that he was seeing 262 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:30,120 Speaker 1: her and engaging with her. Well, I get married exactly, 263 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:33,000 Speaker 1: so why married Diana? But anyway, so Diana dies, we 264 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:36,520 Speaker 1: all know that the queen murdered her like she was murdered. 265 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:39,120 Speaker 1: This is also an unkept secret. This is an unkept secret. 266 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:43,440 Speaker 1: She was murdered and Camilla is still around. Home Girl 267 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:45,440 Speaker 1: is still around and they're married. Now, you know what 268 00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:48,760 Speaker 1: I'm saying. So when you're a side chick at that level, 269 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:51,800 Speaker 1: like your royal side chick, I think that gives you 270 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:55,440 Speaker 1: more leeway to like, yeah, I can get married and 271 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:57,160 Speaker 1: we can kind of smooth this out and make it 272 00:15:57,280 --> 00:16:01,080 Speaker 1: okay and a little bit socially acceptable. Right. That makes 273 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:02,600 Speaker 1: me think, well, we're going to get into the like, 274 00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:04,480 Speaker 1: we're going to get into that in a little bit 275 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:09,400 Speaker 1: more more like actual examples of people like right, So 276 00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:12,360 Speaker 1: I think for now we'll do a song break. Oh 277 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:16,160 Speaker 1: my god, already already I'm dying, I know, But we'll 278 00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:17,760 Speaker 1: come back to this question, what do you do when 279 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:20,760 Speaker 1: you find yourself in the position as of the side chick. 280 00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:24,040 Speaker 1: We're going to come back because we have examples of 281 00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:28,720 Speaker 1: side chicks. We have examples you'll probably know famous side 282 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:32,800 Speaker 1: chicks of history essentially essentially, which I think could be 283 00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:36,080 Speaker 1: its own university lecture, like a women's studies lecture. Let 284 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:39,520 Speaker 1: us do it, bring us out, y'all, that's our next workshop. 285 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:42,880 Speaker 1: Side chick culture. Yeah, that's going to be the name 286 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:47,840 Speaker 1: of yah side chick culture. And it was all right 287 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:12,359 Speaker 1: and friends and friends and and friends and spend it 288 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:25,280 Speaker 1: and and sends back and friends from from from from 289 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:38,640 Speaker 1: from it and ship and we're back. So, yes, you're 290 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:43,840 Speaker 1: my little secret, the unkept secret. All right, So we 291 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:49,320 Speaker 1: want to get into so as always we advocate for women, yeah, 292 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:53,119 Speaker 1: and like uplifting them, empowering them. So, actually what we 293 00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:55,840 Speaker 1: want to do with this capitulo like talking about side checks, 294 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:58,200 Speaker 1: like yeah, it can be funny, Yeah, I can, like 295 00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:00,720 Speaker 1: maybe we've been one or weld on or they're in 296 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:04,040 Speaker 1: our family. Whatever we've we've we've had to had a 297 00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:07,440 Speaker 1: face down with one ourselves exactly. We also want to 298 00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:12,879 Speaker 1: complicate like historical side chicks. As always, we always want 299 00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:15,840 Speaker 1: to offer a different practice, a different lens, all of that. 300 00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:19,560 Speaker 1: So we actually want to talk about Amber Fry. Yeah, 301 00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:22,560 Speaker 1: so we're talking about some famous side chicks in history 302 00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:26,720 Speaker 1: who have been on TV, who have been basically like 303 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:31,560 Speaker 1: pop culture, popular culture like subjects you know that people 304 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:35,000 Speaker 1: have talked about, debated about. Now I like Amber Fry. 305 00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:37,159 Speaker 1: I like talking about Amber Fry. Let's talk about her. 306 00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:39,960 Speaker 1: Let's give her some history some context. So if if 307 00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:42,800 Speaker 1: you all remember I don't even remember what year it was, 308 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:46,960 Speaker 1: but if you remember the Lacy Peterson Scott Peterson case. 309 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:52,080 Speaker 1: We'll give a brief summary. Right, So Lacy Peterson, who 310 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:56,840 Speaker 1: her maiden name or her mother's name was, right, and 311 00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,280 Speaker 1: so we think, and she was a brown woman. She 312 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,879 Speaker 1: was a Latino, right, her married name was Peterson, but 313 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:05,000 Speaker 1: she was a Latina. She married this man named Scott Peterson. 314 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,680 Speaker 1: She was pregnant with his child, and it was around 315 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:11,640 Speaker 1: Christmas time. I think it was like Christmas Day, and um, 316 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:15,280 Speaker 1: we this is important for us. This came up recently 317 00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:17,680 Speaker 1: because when THEOSA and I sat down together to be 318 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:21,280 Speaker 1: dazzle our headphones, the Lacy Peterson story was on TV. 319 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:25,120 Speaker 1: We're watching it, and we're watching it and deconstructing ship 320 00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:31,040 Speaker 1: while the dazzling exactly like how else would we do it? 321 00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:34,840 Speaker 1: So Lazy Peterson marries this guy, Scott Peterson, She's pregnant 322 00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:37,960 Speaker 1: with his child. It's around Christmas time. She goes missing. 323 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:42,280 Speaker 1: Scott like calls people, sounds the alarm, calls the police, 324 00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:47,320 Speaker 1: and an investigation begins. So he was you know, obviously, 325 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:50,520 Speaker 1: anytime a woman, a married woman, a woman in a 326 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,879 Speaker 1: relationship is murdered or go missing, the first person for 327 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:57,080 Speaker 1: the most part, that law enforcement will look at an interview, 328 00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:00,720 Speaker 1: is the male partner is the husband, Because, like we've 329 00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:03,760 Speaker 1: talked about in the United States and globally for women, 330 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:07,439 Speaker 1: the person most likely to murder you statistically is your partner, 331 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:12,160 Speaker 1: most especially a male partner, a current or former father 332 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:15,000 Speaker 1: of your kids. You're hooking up, he's your husband, he's 333 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,080 Speaker 1: your boyfriend. That's the one most likely to kill you. 334 00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:19,639 Speaker 1: So they're looking at Scott right when this is happening, 335 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,920 Speaker 1: and he's being kind of weird, and he's kind of 336 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:26,080 Speaker 1: he's kind of been shifty. He's involved in the best investigation, 337 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:29,879 Speaker 1: but not really. And then one day there's this press 338 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:33,439 Speaker 1: conference and this story breaks. This blonde woman named Amber 339 00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:37,399 Speaker 1: comes forward and gives a statement to the press about 340 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:40,240 Speaker 1: how all this time she has been having an affair 341 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:45,480 Speaker 1: with Scott Peterson, and she realized that something was wrong 342 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:49,320 Speaker 1: and something was fishy because in his communications with her, 343 00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:52,159 Speaker 1: he was like communicating with her and carrying on with 344 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:55,920 Speaker 1: this affair even like when Lacy was gone, when she 345 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,080 Speaker 1: write when she was missing, reported miss when she was 346 00:20:58,119 --> 00:21:01,320 Speaker 1: reported missing, and he is being really creepy with her, 347 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:04,000 Speaker 1: And she started to see the news and she realized, like, 348 00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:07,000 Speaker 1: oh my god, this is the guy whose wife is 349 00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:10,320 Speaker 1: gone and he's over here like having this affair with 350 00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:13,240 Speaker 1: me and like not giving a ship. Right. So she 351 00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:15,800 Speaker 1: came forward and she provided all this evidence, and she 352 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,080 Speaker 1: really broke the case and was the reason why the 353 00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:21,240 Speaker 1: attention really went back and turned onto Scott Peterson. So 354 00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:24,280 Speaker 1: here you have a quote unquote a side chick, a 355 00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:27,920 Speaker 1: side piece, the other woman the mistress. But she stepped 356 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:31,600 Speaker 1: in and she made a huge impact, right, And we 357 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:34,680 Speaker 1: later we come to find he had killed Lacy. He 358 00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:37,880 Speaker 1: dumped her body like in the ocean or in a lake, 359 00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:40,760 Speaker 1: and she and the baby washed up on shore. And 360 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:43,720 Speaker 1: it was this awful, horrible, horrible, horrible case. Right. Yeah. 361 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:46,159 Speaker 1: I remember as a child that was one of the 362 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:49,560 Speaker 1: first cases that I ever saw televised. And I remember 363 00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:52,080 Speaker 1: like my mom following it and it being like a 364 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,920 Speaker 1: conversation with a lot of women in my life because 365 00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:58,040 Speaker 1: it's something that shakes you, like this very pregnant woman 366 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:01,120 Speaker 1: was murdered by her husband. She was like eight months pregnant. 367 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:06,480 Speaker 1: She was visibly pregnant, not like much the secret. No. Yeah, 368 00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:09,760 Speaker 1: So Amber Fry. I love Amber Fry, and I love 369 00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:15,280 Speaker 1: the way that she came forward and the way that 370 00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:19,880 Speaker 1: she asserted herself to to say no, this man, it's him. 371 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,720 Speaker 1: He did it, and she also outed herself as laud 372 00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:27,240 Speaker 1: and it is a sort of thing because of the stigma. 373 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,320 Speaker 1: And also like to think about that she was seeing 374 00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:36,640 Speaker 1: Scott Peterson, who's obviously a murderer and abusive man. Right, 375 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:41,240 Speaker 1: what kind of relationship did they have? Was it because 376 00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:44,080 Speaker 1: it was so early on, was it like the honeymoon stage? 377 00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:47,359 Speaker 1: Did she was she able to kind of be saved 378 00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:50,159 Speaker 1: because it never she never got the other side of it, right, 379 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:52,600 Speaker 1: the abusive side. They were still in the good stage, 380 00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:57,359 Speaker 1: right before he snapped exactly, and or before she was 381 00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:00,520 Speaker 1: really cemented in his life because he didn't kill Lacey 382 00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:03,440 Speaker 1: until she was how many months pregnant, already married to him, 383 00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:07,160 Speaker 1: right exactly, Amber didn't get to that point of being 384 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:09,520 Speaker 1: so entrenched in his life. The mind games also begin 385 00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:14,560 Speaker 1: because that is abusive abuse tactics exactly exactly. So that's 386 00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:18,720 Speaker 1: a really important like in history and important side. Chick 387 00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:23,399 Speaker 1: I would say, well, what do y'all think? What do 388 00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:26,080 Speaker 1: you guys do you remember? I'm sure a lot of 389 00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:29,280 Speaker 1: you remember Lacy Peterson and Scott Peterson And he's still 390 00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:31,440 Speaker 1: in prison and there's still and you know what's scary 391 00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:34,080 Speaker 1: is that there are men out there that advocate for him, 392 00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:39,040 Speaker 1: saying that he was, you know, innocent, and that the 393 00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:43,520 Speaker 1: media like villanized him that ship. Yeah, and there are 394 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:46,800 Speaker 1: people out there that like actually think he's innocent. There 395 00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:48,840 Speaker 1: are men out there, and I'm sure there's women as well. 396 00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:51,560 Speaker 1: And the scary part if you think if we're thinking 397 00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:55,240 Speaker 1: about inadvertently becoming the side chick, right, because again, men lie. 398 00:23:55,840 --> 00:24:00,480 Speaker 1: They men lie every day all day. Right. She was 399 00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:04,920 Speaker 1: talking to and being intimate and dealing with a murderer 400 00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:09,680 Speaker 1: and she had no idea. You know, it's like, who 401 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:12,360 Speaker 1: is the person laying next to you? Do you take 402 00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:15,159 Speaker 1: them at their word for who they are or do 403 00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:17,320 Speaker 1: you like you're talking like you were saying earlier, do 404 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:19,280 Speaker 1: you act like a look a kind of crazy and 405 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:22,920 Speaker 1: ask questions and go through their ship to find out 406 00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:25,959 Speaker 1: if you're dealing with a murderer or a liar? Right? 407 00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:29,399 Speaker 1: So Amber five, good side chick, tell us what you 408 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:31,760 Speaker 1: think about that? Yes, I think let's we can move 409 00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:34,760 Speaker 1: on to the next one. I think, like historically literally 410 00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:37,240 Speaker 1: and it makes me feel like so sad in a 411 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:40,840 Speaker 1: way that I wonder how if she was able able 412 00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:43,680 Speaker 1: to ever really live a full life post this, at least, 413 00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:45,560 Speaker 1: like I feel like she probably had to maneuver and 414 00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:48,200 Speaker 1: like be very strategic about the way she lived her life. 415 00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:52,679 Speaker 1: But Monica Lewinsky by Monica Monica. I want to call 416 00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:54,639 Speaker 1: her Monica because I want to. I want her to 417 00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:59,159 Speaker 1: be my cousin Monica girl, like give us all you know, 418 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:02,480 Speaker 1: I want to of her love. She wrote this article 419 00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:05,159 Speaker 1: not too long ago, or she was interviewed, and I 420 00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:07,480 Speaker 1: read this interview with her, and it was very sad. 421 00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:11,960 Speaker 1: Her life was ruined after the whole blow up and 422 00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:15,280 Speaker 1: it was found out about her affair with former President 423 00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:20,080 Speaker 1: Bill Clinton. Her life was fucking destroyed. People hate her, 424 00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:27,960 Speaker 1: hate her, like death threats, shouting at her on the street, online, 425 00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:31,680 Speaker 1: difficulty with work opportunities, just like she is one of 426 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:36,360 Speaker 1: those names that is always there's always vitriol like that follows. 427 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,879 Speaker 1: And I think, and I don't really remember at the 428 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:42,719 Speaker 1: time like this happening, but I do, like I can 429 00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:45,240 Speaker 1: say now, like the way she was slug shamed in 430 00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:48,520 Speaker 1: all of it, Where where was you know Bill Clinton? Right? 431 00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:50,840 Speaker 1: And like and then even like Hillary Clinton will like 432 00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:54,280 Speaker 1: when to you like frame it like very sexist, like 433 00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:57,040 Speaker 1: when she was running for president, not of course, not 434 00:25:57,119 --> 00:25:58,639 Speaker 1: in defense of her at all, but even like, oh, 435 00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:00,919 Speaker 1: she can't even keep her manage. There was a lot 436 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:02,440 Speaker 1: of there was a lot of comments like that, like 437 00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:04,760 Speaker 1: she can't even maintain a marriage, and you want her 438 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:07,119 Speaker 1: to run a country? Right, as if it was her 439 00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:11,040 Speaker 1: fault that her husband was with another one. She was 440 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:14,680 Speaker 1: Hilary is responsible for the infidelity exactly, and Bill is 441 00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:17,960 Speaker 1: not responsible for anything at all, right, And Monica is 442 00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:22,960 Speaker 1: was responsible for being a slut, for being a little tart, 443 00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:26,520 Speaker 1: which is what she was called. And she was fat 444 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:30,000 Speaker 1: shamed also because she was a bigger girl at the time. 445 00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:32,440 Speaker 1: And if you think about it, she was so young, 446 00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:35,080 Speaker 1: she was in her early twenties and she was working 447 00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:37,640 Speaker 1: as a White House aide. So what does that mean 448 00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:41,840 Speaker 1: when a man in power praise on a young woman. 449 00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:45,879 Speaker 1: That is rape culture. It is abused, It is an 450 00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:49,000 Speaker 1: imbalance of power, and there is nobody with more power 451 00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:52,040 Speaker 1: than the President of the United States. For the President 452 00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:55,120 Speaker 1: of the United States to pray on a twentysomething year 453 00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:58,760 Speaker 1: old staffer is rape culture and is abusive. But he really, 454 00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:01,200 Speaker 1: if we really think about it, Bill Clinton is still 455 00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:06,280 Speaker 1: very much loved. People like Bill Slick Willie like people. 456 00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:09,760 Speaker 1: And when men mistreat women, when men have affairs, when 457 00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:13,400 Speaker 1: men cheat, it's like their social status is actually upped. 458 00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:17,720 Speaker 1: There's kind of like a folk like a lore about them. 459 00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:22,080 Speaker 1: Like people like that. People think it's very masculine, you know, 460 00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:25,160 Speaker 1: And so I think it actually does good for men 461 00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:30,160 Speaker 1: when they have mistresses in a crazy way, right, It's 462 00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,840 Speaker 1: kind of like asserting their masculinity in a way. It's like, oh, 463 00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:36,840 Speaker 1: they can have multiple women, they can spread their seed. 464 00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:40,359 Speaker 1: I also think that men actually like it when they 465 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:45,600 Speaker 1: see a public figure disrespect women, you know, like it's 466 00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:49,159 Speaker 1: points not only to have sexual conquests over women, but 467 00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:53,440 Speaker 1: to publicly disrespect or harm women actually gives men a 468 00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:56,080 Speaker 1: lot of cool points. We could talk about Chris Brown. 469 00:27:57,119 --> 00:28:00,359 Speaker 1: How has Chris Brown's career been affected after he tempted 470 00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:02,960 Speaker 1: to murder Rhianna And let's get let's be clear. You 471 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:06,520 Speaker 1: saw those photos. He attempted to kill her. He didn't 472 00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:09,000 Speaker 1: just slap her, which is not to minimize but he 473 00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:12,680 Speaker 1: attempted to kill her, right, and he he's doing just 474 00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:16,560 Speaker 1: fine career life, even after he abused Caruci as well 475 00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:20,320 Speaker 1: in addition, so Monica has gotten the short of the 476 00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:22,440 Speaker 1: end of the stick. But I like you, Monica, I 477 00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:25,480 Speaker 1: love you girl. You know, Bill is a nasty old 478 00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:28,919 Speaker 1: man and he took advantage. And she is a famous 479 00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:32,760 Speaker 1: side chick who shall not be forgotten. And she's more 480 00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:34,639 Speaker 1: than a side. She's more than a side. She's more 481 00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:38,920 Speaker 1: than a side. Absolutely, m M, my heart, my love 482 00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:43,680 Speaker 1: for her, Monica for Monica, for like not And I 483 00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:47,040 Speaker 1: say this like obviously very this is a blanket statement, 484 00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:50,080 Speaker 1: but it's like, was she ever to really move past this? 485 00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:52,640 Speaker 1: Obviously I don't know, I do not know her. I 486 00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:56,160 Speaker 1: would like to know you girl, Um, but when was 487 00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:57,920 Speaker 1: she able to have like a full life, like I 488 00:28:57,960 --> 00:28:59,640 Speaker 1: already said, like I wonder I know she did a 489 00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:03,840 Speaker 1: ted to recently about like the dangers of like bullying 490 00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:07,520 Speaker 1: essentially and like having this quote like reputation for doing 491 00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:10,080 Speaker 1: something right and not being able to move past that 492 00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:14,240 Speaker 1: ever ever, ever, literally ever, Like what does that mean? 493 00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:16,120 Speaker 1: A name change? Like what would you have to do? 494 00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:19,480 Speaker 1: It is also very interesting that she didn't change her name. 495 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,160 Speaker 1: I wonder if that was a power move, and like, 496 00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:27,480 Speaker 1: you know what fukali y'all for slut shaming? Me whatever, 497 00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:29,760 Speaker 1: I respect it, I respect. I have a lot of 498 00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:34,040 Speaker 1: respect for Monica Lewinsky, and that's that I have. I 499 00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:36,280 Speaker 1: have a lot of respect for a lot of villainized 500 00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:40,000 Speaker 1: women in history. Same here because somewhere in there, and 501 00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:42,800 Speaker 1: this is where we bring in, Somewhere in there, when 502 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:45,360 Speaker 1: that woman is being villainized and slut shame, that tells 503 00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:48,000 Speaker 1: me that that woman on some level is a survivor. 504 00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:51,080 Speaker 1: There's a survivor narrative there. Absolutely, if we can say 505 00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:54,200 Speaker 1: that Bill Clinton abused and took advantage of this young woman, 506 00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:56,520 Speaker 1: then we can say that she's a survivor, and this 507 00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:59,440 Speaker 1: is a survivor narrative exactly. And same with Amber Fry. 508 00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:03,440 Speaker 1: She was potentially going into the arms of this of 509 00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:06,600 Speaker 1: someone that would have murdered her had he not been caught. Absolutely, 510 00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:14,160 Speaker 1: absolutely survivor narratives. And again, like even like talking about folklore, right, 511 00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:18,440 Speaker 1: like you can talk about examples across culture. In almost 512 00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:23,400 Speaker 1: every like Latin American culture, there's some type of mythology 513 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:27,080 Speaker 1: right about like how the that nation, how those people 514 00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:30,120 Speaker 1: came to be, right, and there's usually some type of 515 00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:32,840 Speaker 1: a female figure involved. We could talk about in the 516 00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:36,880 Speaker 1: United States, the idea of Pocahonas. The popular idea of 517 00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:40,040 Speaker 1: Pocahonas is that she was a Native woman who was 518 00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:44,000 Speaker 1: like fraternizing with white colonists and helping them out and 519 00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:47,160 Speaker 1: showing them around. In real life, Pocahonas was a child. 520 00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:50,320 Speaker 1: She was a child who was taken, who was es 521 00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:54,800 Speaker 1: sexually assaulted, who was kidnapped, who was used, was a survivor. 522 00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:58,680 Speaker 1: But the native woman, the woman of color, is framed 523 00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:02,760 Speaker 1: as the trader we could talk about in Mexico, which 524 00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:05,200 Speaker 1: we talked about in our first very first kind in 525 00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:10,080 Speaker 1: lookupistemologies are survivor narratives, right, So yeah, I mean it's 526 00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:13,920 Speaker 1: just like this continuous like thread when a woman is 527 00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:16,720 Speaker 1: being sledge shamed on that level and being blamed for 528 00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:19,320 Speaker 1: all kinds of ship, I can guarantee you know, there's 529 00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:24,960 Speaker 1: a survivor history there, someone that was sludge shamed for 530 00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:29,520 Speaker 1: doing some albeit like shady things. I was also slut shamed, 531 00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:33,520 Speaker 1: but also thinking how I was in a very unhealthy relationship. 532 00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:35,520 Speaker 1: So how was I trying to get out of it? 533 00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:38,320 Speaker 1: How was I trying to finally set myself free? Not 534 00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:40,480 Speaker 1: in the best way, but in the only way that 535 00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:42,440 Speaker 1: I think I knew how or that I thought was 536 00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:46,840 Speaker 1: available to me. Right, So, always reframing things, especially when 537 00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:50,080 Speaker 1: it comes to women and sex and sex and who 538 00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:53,080 Speaker 1: else do we have on our list of famous side checks? Yeah, 539 00:31:53,280 --> 00:32:00,400 Speaker 1: so we have actually, right, poor Frida another one my heart? Yes, 540 00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:03,840 Speaker 1: so she as you all know, like, and I think 541 00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:07,719 Speaker 1: it's really interesting because I think because they're both artists, 542 00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:12,320 Speaker 1: but FRIDAO and Dio Riverda's relationship is very much romanticized, 543 00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:15,520 Speaker 1: very much, so it was very toxic, and we know 544 00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:18,880 Speaker 1: that it was an abusive relationship. And we know that 545 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:24,360 Speaker 1: he had multiple side chicks, right or right, because there's 546 00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:27,600 Speaker 1: always the other side of the coin. You either are 547 00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:30,640 Speaker 1: the main. At one point you're the main, and then 548 00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:33,400 Speaker 1: at one point you're probably the side right one point 549 00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:38,600 Speaker 1: or another. Right. So, and also like, and I'm thinking 550 00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:41,680 Speaker 1: more of like the movie interpretation of Frida, right, and 551 00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:45,200 Speaker 1: how that I was married, right and even though she 552 00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:47,800 Speaker 1: didn't meet, she didn't fall in love with him maybe 553 00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:50,360 Speaker 1: when he was married, Like, was she the side chick 554 00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:53,480 Speaker 1: in some way? At some point? Was there an emotional affair? 555 00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:57,880 Speaker 1: I wonder was there like an artistic affair bonding over 556 00:32:57,960 --> 00:33:02,800 Speaker 1: their art together kinds? But she started out Yeah, on 557 00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:05,080 Speaker 1: the side, right or she yeah, right? So then she 558 00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:08,040 Speaker 1: married him and then had to deal with all these sides, 559 00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:12,680 Speaker 1: all these other women involved, right, and like also she 560 00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:17,120 Speaker 1: had her own affairs as well. So you know, I 561 00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:21,440 Speaker 1: want to celebrate that that she was able to, you know, 562 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:25,040 Speaker 1: have many lovers, have many partners outside of her marriage, 563 00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:30,440 Speaker 1: maybe not because she wanted to, like intentionally or originally, 564 00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:32,640 Speaker 1: but ended up having like just you know what, He's 565 00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:34,160 Speaker 1: going to do what he wants, So why can't I 566 00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:39,400 Speaker 1: does that make sense? Like do you you know, like 567 00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:42,640 Speaker 1: we can both play this game. We can both do dirt. 568 00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:47,440 Speaker 1: It's not that difficult. Mm hmm. But where don't you say? 569 00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:50,520 Speaker 1: But so Diego did he not? Did he also sleep 570 00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:53,800 Speaker 1: with Frieda's sister? I was saying that, yeah he did. 571 00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:57,520 Speaker 1: Diego was listen, Diego Rivera was a fun boy to 572 00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:00,800 Speaker 1: end all boys. He was as our most men in history, 573 00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:03,560 Speaker 1: as are most of our cultural heroes for men that 574 00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:09,600 Speaker 1: are celebrated boys. Anyways, we'll talk about that later, will 575 00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:14,000 Speaker 1: slander them later, right, So, I mean, I think the 576 00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:16,560 Speaker 1: first three that we talked about, like we really really 577 00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:22,879 Speaker 1: wanted to complicate them, complicate their stories, talk about them 578 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:25,919 Speaker 1: in a survivor lens, because that is what local radio 579 00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:30,560 Speaker 1: is about, right, always thinking, always maybe reconstructing survivor narratives. 580 00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:33,560 Speaker 1: Um so. And then we also just want to talk 581 00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:37,800 Speaker 1: about just point blank famous side chicks, right, Angelina and Jolie, 582 00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:42,279 Speaker 1: O God and famous, real famous. Right. So I'm sure 583 00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:48,320 Speaker 1: y'all know she was recently divorced Brad Pitts prior he 584 00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:51,200 Speaker 1: was married to my favor, Jennifer Aniston. I love her, 585 00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:54,160 Speaker 1: love Jennifer Aniston. She feels like to me, like just 586 00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:58,120 Speaker 1: like your neighbor. You know, she's super, She's like the girl, 587 00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:01,480 Speaker 1: She's the girl next door in the sweetest way. Anyway, 588 00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:05,600 Speaker 1: he was married to her soon when they were filming Angelina, 589 00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:07,360 Speaker 1: Jolie and Brad pitt when they were filming Mr. And 590 00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:10,399 Speaker 1: Mrs Smith. They fell in love while he was still 591 00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:12,520 Speaker 1: married to her, while he was still married, and it 592 00:35:12,719 --> 00:35:18,160 Speaker 1: was a scandal. I remember, we have so many memories 593 00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:21,040 Speaker 1: tied to famous sides ships. I think maybe we can't 594 00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:26,040 Speaker 1: recall all of them now. But it's pop culture. Absolutely, 595 00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:29,520 Speaker 1: we love pop culture. We love it like whether or 596 00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:33,320 Speaker 1: not you like it, it informs your life, whether or 597 00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:36,600 Speaker 1: not you're you like like to read the gossip magazines. 598 00:35:37,040 --> 00:35:40,600 Speaker 1: The gossip is still there, watch t MZ, whatever it. 599 00:35:41,560 --> 00:35:44,400 Speaker 1: There's a market for it. Informs your life, whether you 600 00:35:44,480 --> 00:35:47,399 Speaker 1: like it or not. And I love it. I love it. Yeah, 601 00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:49,360 Speaker 1: it's a guilty pleasure of mind or not so guilty. 602 00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:50,759 Speaker 1: I just like it. I just like it, you know what. 603 00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:54,560 Speaker 1: I like it anyway. And Angelina is like another one 604 00:35:54,640 --> 00:36:00,960 Speaker 1: like Camilla Parker, you know, stayed, stayed through it, married him, 605 00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:03,520 Speaker 1: had a trillion kids and adopted all these kids with 606 00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:09,239 Speaker 1: Brad and now they're Splitsville. And this brings us to 607 00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:12,320 Speaker 1: write this idea which didn't happen in this case. But 608 00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:14,640 Speaker 1: there's also this idea out there that like, you lose 609 00:36:14,719 --> 00:36:17,880 Speaker 1: him the way that you got him, right, So that's like, 610 00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:20,719 Speaker 1: I guess the risk you run, the risk that you 611 00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:23,560 Speaker 1: run by being the side chick when you're the side 612 00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:27,160 Speaker 1: chick and then become the primary right when you and 613 00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:30,680 Speaker 1: then become La Nica? Are you really? Law Nika? Are 614 00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:33,319 Speaker 1: you really? Because they're because there's the saying, right, once 615 00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:35,560 Speaker 1: a cheater, always a cheater, right, And so like me 616 00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:39,799 Speaker 1: with my situation right that I was talking about, um, 617 00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,480 Speaker 1: seeing this guy turns out that he has a girlfriend, blah, 618 00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:46,880 Speaker 1: blah blah, blah blah. I experience right, like fake Instagram 619 00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:50,120 Speaker 1: prof She was making fake Instagram profiles about me and 620 00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:54,640 Speaker 1: calling me a slug and and I'm a suck everybody's 621 00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:58,759 Speaker 1: dick and all this ship. Yeah, okay, it was hilarious. 622 00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:00,920 Speaker 1: It was actually really funny. She had people calling me 623 00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:04,799 Speaker 1: on fake numbers. So for me, I'm a better person now, 624 00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:07,360 Speaker 1: I've evolved and I've changed. But at the time, I 625 00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:10,200 Speaker 1: was on some petty ship and I was like, you 626 00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:12,680 Speaker 1: know what, I think. I'm just going to keep him 627 00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:15,719 Speaker 1: if that's how you want to be, right, I'm gonna 628 00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:19,640 Speaker 1: show you basically, and I did, but that's always running 629 00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:21,560 Speaker 1: through your mind. I'm gonna lose him the way that 630 00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:23,560 Speaker 1: I got him. Once a cheater, always a cheater. How 631 00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:25,839 Speaker 1: do I trust him when this is probably the same 632 00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:27,839 Speaker 1: ship that he was telling her once upon a time, 633 00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:33,320 Speaker 1: exactly right? So yeah, basically, men are terrible. Men are terrible. 634 00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:35,960 Speaker 1: And no, I don't think you should assume that he's 635 00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:39,160 Speaker 1: going to change just for you. He won't. He won't. 636 00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:41,319 Speaker 1: He's not going to show me a man that did. 637 00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:48,279 Speaker 1: And I'll believe you. Crickets, crickets. I would like to 638 00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:52,400 Speaker 1: know also because like getting personal, my father was like 639 00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:57,839 Speaker 1: and like that I know of you know, there has 640 00:37:57,880 --> 00:38:00,279 Speaker 1: been no one that I know, you know what, right, 641 00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:04,160 Speaker 1: But I don't think he changed, you know no. I 642 00:38:04,239 --> 00:38:06,600 Speaker 1: mean now he's you know, older, so maybe it's like 643 00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:11,400 Speaker 1: down just like I don't think that man changed. If 644 00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:15,360 Speaker 1: my own father could not, would not did not change, 645 00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:20,040 Speaker 1: then who who please? Uh? And they're so bold to like, 646 00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:22,120 Speaker 1: oh my god. So I went to a Catholic school, right, 647 00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:26,239 Speaker 1: Catholic elementary school in Manavello. And in Monavello there's a 648 00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:29,960 Speaker 1: lot of like, um like like Latinos who are also 649 00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:33,320 Speaker 1: business owners and entrepreneurs. It's a very like middle class 650 00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:36,800 Speaker 1: like Latino like area Manavello. Right, So um, I like 651 00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:39,000 Speaker 1: to say, these people they had tortilla money. They were 652 00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:42,200 Speaker 1: tortilla people because they owned like tortilla factories. There was 653 00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:45,040 Speaker 1: one family that was like the tortilla chip people. They 654 00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:47,400 Speaker 1: had tortilla chip money. But these are the this was 655 00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:52,880 Speaker 1: the tortilla money, dying corn tortillas specifically. So this man Mexican. 656 00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:58,000 Speaker 1: Obviously he had his multiple women, He had multiple families, kids, 657 00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:00,200 Speaker 1: different kids with different women, don't you know. He had 658 00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:02,680 Speaker 1: all of his kids from all of the women all 659 00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:09,680 Speaker 1: enrolled at the same Catholic school see Ultimate Ultimate. They 660 00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:12,360 Speaker 1: would the mothers, they would go pick up each other's kids. 661 00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:17,680 Speaker 1: Sometimes there would be fights, drama, drama, and like that's 662 00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:19,880 Speaker 1: the risk you also run dealing with the cheater. I 663 00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:21,560 Speaker 1: was about to say, it might be one of many 664 00:39:21,719 --> 00:39:25,920 Speaker 1: family want to deal with that kind of stres You know, 665 00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:28,200 Speaker 1: it's a lot of stress. I think it's one thing 666 00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:31,399 Speaker 1: when maybe you're it's just a it's an affair, it's 667 00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:34,920 Speaker 1: a fling. But if you fall in love, you get pregnant, 668 00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:39,960 Speaker 1: if you have a family, that's when it's drama. Think 669 00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:44,120 Speaker 1: about a lot of drama because I think also like thinking, 670 00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:47,719 Speaker 1: it's like we always want to protect women. We don't 671 00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:49,960 Speaker 1: want to shame women. So if you are the side chick, 672 00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:53,800 Speaker 1: like okay, cool, I'm not shaming you. But also we 673 00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:58,520 Speaker 1: want to protect each other. So that's also important. Regardless 674 00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:01,800 Speaker 1: of like the nature or of your relationship with this person. 675 00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:07,520 Speaker 1: Are you safe, are you being harmed or are you cool? Yes? 676 00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:10,040 Speaker 1: Are you making decisions for yourself or for him, or 677 00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:12,880 Speaker 1: for him or for the person? Right? Is it because 678 00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:15,680 Speaker 1: they're promising you the moon and the stars. Don't believe it. 679 00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:17,239 Speaker 1: They can't give that to you. They can They don't 680 00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:19,439 Speaker 1: have it, Ladies, none of these men have it. They're 681 00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:22,560 Speaker 1: all broke. I promise you that they don't have it, 682 00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:24,319 Speaker 1: and they can't provide you what they say they can. 683 00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:28,480 Speaker 1: Don't believe them. It's a fucking line. Anyways, back to 684 00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:30,600 Speaker 1: our list of famous side chips. So we're going to 685 00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:40,480 Speaker 1: actually finish with one um the side chick Glorified, Glorified, 686 00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:47,000 Speaker 1: loved invigebrated Marilyn Monroe for four supposedly engaging in the 687 00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:50,719 Speaker 1: same behavior as who Monica Winsky, but it was never 688 00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:54,680 Speaker 1: like proven. It was assumed it was with the nature 689 00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:58,880 Speaker 1: of their relationship with John F. Kennedy. With John F. Kennedy, 690 00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:04,759 Speaker 1: the way she publicly saying Happy Birthday, a very very 691 00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:13,200 Speaker 1: sexy with it. Absolutely yeah. So, I mean the idea 692 00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:16,719 Speaker 1: of her sleeping with the president everybody, it's hot, right, 693 00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:19,200 Speaker 1: she was sleeping with amount of power. But we don't 694 00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:21,560 Speaker 1: we don't really know. We don't really know. But a 695 00:41:21,600 --> 00:41:25,399 Speaker 1: woman that actually did, it's shameful. He was married, right, 696 00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:28,680 Speaker 1: he's the president of the United States. Exactly what is that? 697 00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:34,120 Speaker 1: What is that hypocrisy? It's virgin Horn's economy is that 698 00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:37,279 Speaker 1: I'm going to say it is who's the virgin? Well, 699 00:41:37,640 --> 00:41:40,960 Speaker 1: Marilyn necessarily isn't the virgin. But it's like, can she 700 00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:42,879 Speaker 1: really be the bad? Can she really be the myla? 701 00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:45,040 Speaker 1: If it's not proven? I see what you're saying, you 702 00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:47,839 Speaker 1: know what I mean? So Monica is actually the boot, 703 00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:51,480 Speaker 1: that she's actually the whore? There there was video, right, 704 00:41:52,239 --> 00:41:54,640 Speaker 1: So Marilyn, even though I don't think anybody would say like, 705 00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:57,480 Speaker 1: oh she was the good one, she technically wasn't caught. 706 00:41:57,560 --> 00:42:00,399 Speaker 1: So can she really have the role of the whore? Good? 707 00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:03,360 Speaker 1: Good point? This is true, just a question. I'm using it. 708 00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:09,000 Speaker 1: I'm wondering, thinking aloud, like process, it's like evidence space, right, 709 00:42:09,239 --> 00:42:11,279 Speaker 1: It's like we have we have evidence, so now we 710 00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:14,120 Speaker 1: can just drag you through the mud. We can put 711 00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:18,600 Speaker 1: this scarlet letter on you, just like hester print scarlet letter. 712 00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:21,560 Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, there's a mark, but is now a 713 00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:24,960 Speaker 1: mark that has been left? Right? And also I think 714 00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:30,879 Speaker 1: maybe the nature of just you know, Marilyn Monroe dying right, 715 00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:36,840 Speaker 1: supposedly being murdered, possibly, like so can you really like 716 00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:41,040 Speaker 1: dag her through the mud hate on her when she's right? 717 00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:43,520 Speaker 1: When she died the way that she died exactly. This 718 00:42:43,719 --> 00:42:47,160 Speaker 1: is true, So I have questions. There's a lot to 719 00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:52,759 Speaker 1: impact their affairs with presidents hot or not. I can't tell. 720 00:42:54,320 --> 00:43:01,000 Speaker 1: I mean Olivia Pope, history, Olivia Pope even fictional. But 721 00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:04,160 Speaker 1: I love Olivia Pope. I do not like please girl, 722 00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:07,960 Speaker 1: don't stay with fits like hate's so abusive, but it 723 00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:12,880 Speaker 1: is sexy, it is fat right, Yeah, but you know. 724 00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:16,360 Speaker 1: And cheese Man had tweeted not too long ago that 725 00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:19,560 Speaker 1: the real star of Scandal is Mellie. Millie is. Yeah, 726 00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:22,560 Speaker 1: I could see that she has some great monologe. She 727 00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:25,520 Speaker 1: does have some great moments. She does. There are times 728 00:43:25,719 --> 00:43:27,080 Speaker 1: when I hate her, and there are times where I'm 729 00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:30,680 Speaker 1: just like, yes, girl, yeah, I'm a fan for you. 730 00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:33,600 Speaker 1: I agree. I like Millie. Yeah, I feel for her, 731 00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:36,040 Speaker 1: I really do. There are times when honestly, Olivia gets 732 00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:39,280 Speaker 1: on my nerves. Same like stop it. But also she's Olivia. 733 00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:43,879 Speaker 1: We stand for her. So I think, like, so we're 734 00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:47,400 Speaker 1: wrapping up, and I think as always, like we already 735 00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:50,520 Speaker 1: touched on the take, we want to take away to 736 00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:54,839 Speaker 1: be have agency, always, agency of your body, over who 737 00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:57,640 Speaker 1: you get into a relationship with, over if you leave 738 00:43:57,800 --> 00:44:01,279 Speaker 1: or not. That should be a to you. That should 739 00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:04,080 Speaker 1: be up to you and not up to anybody else. 740 00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:07,520 Speaker 1: You know, as long as you are safe, you're not 741 00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:11,640 Speaker 1: hurting yourself for others, like you know, do you? And 742 00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:14,680 Speaker 1: I think that there's a lot of like, um, there's 743 00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:19,239 Speaker 1: always a lot of discussion about this whole idea of well, 744 00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:22,680 Speaker 1: if I'm not the one in the relationship, I'm not cheating, 745 00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:25,600 Speaker 1: I'm not doing anything right right, like women like sleeping 746 00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:27,960 Speaker 1: with married men and things like that. It's like, well, 747 00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:32,399 Speaker 1: he's the one that's married, he took vows, not me right, right. 748 00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:34,920 Speaker 1: So I think that there's also a lot just there 749 00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:39,480 Speaker 1: to like just it's complic worked through, but regardless of 750 00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:41,960 Speaker 1: what your situation is, we want you to be okay, 751 00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:47,759 Speaker 1: be safe all the time, like if because I'm I 752 00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:50,080 Speaker 1: mean even MoMA, and I was telling MoMA, like I'm 753 00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:52,920 Speaker 1: sure that there are women out there that enjoy not 754 00:44:53,280 --> 00:44:55,440 Speaker 1: having to be in a relationship with a man, but 755 00:44:55,520 --> 00:44:57,800 Speaker 1: getting to enjoy the perks of it, maybe the gifts, 756 00:44:57,920 --> 00:45:00,440 Speaker 1: the dinners, the trips, but don't actually have to deal 757 00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:05,200 Speaker 1: with the emotional responsibility with maybe being the fucking homemaker 758 00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:09,239 Speaker 1: essentially that wives unfortunately can turn out to be and 759 00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:12,520 Speaker 1: the exactly. So she gets to have the fun side 760 00:45:12,600 --> 00:45:14,800 Speaker 1: of him or of them, right, gets to have the 761 00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:16,839 Speaker 1: trips and the dinners and all of that. Right, you're 762 00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:19,680 Speaker 1: nine to five and on the weekend and she's the weekend. Right, 763 00:45:19,800 --> 00:45:23,520 Speaker 1: So I'm wondering, Like, it's like if that's the situation 764 00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:27,080 Speaker 1: that you're in, and you're like, that's what you want? Fine, right, 765 00:45:27,280 --> 00:45:29,520 Speaker 1: Always like advocate for what you need and if you 766 00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:32,120 Speaker 1: want to get out, get out exactly. You're not stuck. 767 00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:35,120 Speaker 1: You shouldn't feel stuck ever. Ever, at any point in 768 00:45:35,160 --> 00:45:37,320 Speaker 1: your life. Do not feel like you're stuck in this 769 00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:40,399 Speaker 1: situation or you're forced to be with somebody or deal 770 00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:44,080 Speaker 1: with somebody, or forced to deal with somebody and being 771 00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:49,160 Speaker 1: a relationship on their terms. Right, the relationship it needs 772 00:45:49,239 --> 00:45:52,279 Speaker 1: to be just as much on your terms as anything else. 773 00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:54,920 Speaker 1: You don't have to make those types of compromises. You 774 00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:57,880 Speaker 1: don't have to. You know, you can choose not to. 775 00:45:58,200 --> 00:46:02,359 Speaker 1: I agree with you, all right. I think I think 776 00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:04,480 Speaker 1: we're good. I think we're good. I think we had 777 00:46:04,520 --> 00:46:12,480 Speaker 1: our convo. So I'm always tweet on us, follow us Facebook, 778 00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:18,720 Speaker 1: I commage what did y'all think of our I g stories. 779 00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:21,279 Speaker 1: I did one two weeks ago about my coming out 780 00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:25,000 Speaker 1: story because there was multiple questions and I didn't get 781 00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:28,600 Speaker 1: to answer it. Just for the sake of time, Mala 782 00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:31,440 Speaker 1: did the ig story about university. Is that something that 783 00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:34,680 Speaker 1: y'all like? Tell us tell us, tell us, tell us, 784 00:46:34,680 --> 00:46:36,560 Speaker 1: because we'll probably do more. We're trying to do more 785 00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:39,520 Speaker 1: with our social media and like engage more, but we 786 00:46:39,640 --> 00:46:43,120 Speaker 1: just get so tired. We get tired. We're Yeah, we 787 00:46:43,280 --> 00:46:47,359 Speaker 1: were visited all of that, but yeah, thank you guys 788 00:46:47,440 --> 00:46:49,759 Speaker 1: so much. Look on mons for tuning in yet again 789 00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:52,800 Speaker 1: to another We love you so much. I hope you 790 00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:57,279 Speaker 1: liked this episode. Remember to use our hashtag Brown Real Hour, 791 00:46:57,600 --> 00:47:00,720 Speaker 1: Look at our radio Radio phonic novella, look at motives. 792 00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:05,040 Speaker 1: We have a lot of hashtag Pick the ones that 793 00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:08,520 Speaker 1: you like best. I love when our when our when 794 00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:10,800 Speaker 1: our local mots tweet at us and they use the 795 00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:13,919 Speaker 1: hashtag look at what is Yes, that's like I love 796 00:47:14,120 --> 00:47:17,480 Speaker 1: reading the tweets. There's my favorite. The tweets are fun. 797 00:47:17,719 --> 00:47:21,160 Speaker 1: They're really fun because gifts can be involved. There's a 798 00:47:21,200 --> 00:47:24,400 Speaker 1: lot that can photos. I love said more questions to 799 00:47:24,480 --> 00:47:28,680 Speaker 1: our Curious Cat's Curious Cats slash Look at the our 800 00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:31,440 Speaker 1: radio You can find us that way. It's on our 801 00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:34,080 Speaker 1: Instagram as well. We hope you all have a good 802 00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:40,040 Speaker 1: have a great life. I have a good day, but 803 00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:43,359 Speaker 1: I don't know. Be safe out there, basically out there. 804 00:47:44,280 --> 00:47:48,000 Speaker 1: Don't trust men, don't believe anything they say, and be well, 805 00:47:48,440 --> 00:47:52,160 Speaker 1: prosper Take selfies, Take lots of selfies to us. Tag 806 00:47:52,200 --> 00:47:55,319 Speaker 1: us in your selfie, in your selfies. If you want 807 00:47:55,360 --> 00:47:59,760 Speaker 1: to send us side chick stories, maybe we can read anonymously. 808 00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:03,360 Speaker 1: We will be posting anonymous side chick stories if you 809 00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:05,080 Speaker 1: would like to submit that. I love it. That's a 810 00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:11,400 Speaker 1: great idea, mana, send those, send those. I'm dying. I 811 00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:14,040 Speaker 1: know this is going to turn into something. Yes, let 812 00:48:14,160 --> 00:48:16,560 Speaker 1: us know. Like, but don't get us involved in your drama. 813 00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:21,080 Speaker 1: But like, I want to hear also from like maybe 814 00:48:21,400 --> 00:48:26,319 Speaker 1: folks that have discovered a side chick. Yes, because I've 815 00:48:26,360 --> 00:48:28,920 Speaker 1: had both. I've discovered a side chick and then I've 816 00:48:28,960 --> 00:48:31,359 Speaker 1: been the side chick. Let us know. Have you had 817 00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:35,400 Speaker 1: both experiences one or the other, Let us know, let 818 00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:36,840 Speaker 1: us know, all right, Thank you,