Speaker 1: Hello, everyone.
Speaker 2: Happy Monday or Tuesday or whatever day that you're listening
Speaker 2: to your favorite podcast, Cheek is in Chill. I hope
Speaker 2: that you're having a wonderful day. I just got back
Speaker 2: from Miami and it was an amazing trip. I am
Speaker 2: so grateful. My performance is doing amazing. Apparently it's gone viral.
Speaker 2: There's so many different and beautiful positive comments, so that
Speaker 2: just fulfills my heart. And I'm always excited to sit
Speaker 2: down and talk to you guys, but especially excited for
Speaker 2: today's episode because it's all about intuition and tapping into
Speaker 2: our higher selves.
Speaker 1: For those of you who don't know.
Speaker 2: What that means or how to achieve that, stay tuned
Speaker 2: because our guest is about to enlighten us all. Here
Speaker 2: with me today is Mariy Fontanez, an intuitive life and
Speaker 2: leadership coach and the author of the new book called
Speaker 2: High your Self, Reclaiming the Power of your Intuition. She
Speaker 2: also hosts a podcast signal Hi, Maury, Welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 2: I am so excited that you're here.
Speaker 3: Thank you for having me. I'm really excited to talk
Speaker 3: to you too.
Speaker 2: So let's I have a lot of questions in regards
Speaker 2: to your book. But let's start off with your higher self.
Speaker 2: What does this mean?
Speaker 3: Your higher self is the version of you as soon
Speaker 3: as I say it, it's going to activate and you're
Speaker 3: going to feel it. It's the version of you that
Speaker 3: is unencumbered by fear, limitation, shame, anxiety. It's the version
Speaker 3: of you that is so clear that all of your
Speaker 3: desires are warranted and deserved, that you are full of
Speaker 3: intuitive knowing that your wisdom is within you, not outside
Speaker 3: of you. It is very grounded in your worth and
Speaker 3: full of dignity. I like to help people imagine your
Speaker 3: higher self in this way. When your soul chose to
Speaker 3: take a human form to have an experience, a life experience,
Speaker 3: it's sort of split into two. The version of you
Speaker 3: that came down into this plane to be in a
Speaker 3: human form and have experiences. So imagine yourself down in
Speaker 3: the forest navigating life. And then the other half is
Speaker 3: kind of sitting on this mountaintop watching from above, knowing
Speaker 3: what you are inherently worthy of, seeing the full picture
Speaker 3: and sending you signals to guide you towards your highest good.
Speaker 3: That's your higher self.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: I love how you explained it because I've always tried
Speaker 2: to explain it to other people because I have my
Speaker 2: own definition in my head, and what I'm hearing from
Speaker 2: you is I always say God lives in me as me.
Speaker 2: God lives in you and all of us as us.
Speaker 2: So I feel like that is the person or that
Speaker 2: being or the spirit or whatever it is that you
Speaker 2: want to call it, anyone that anyone that's listening, yep, that's.
Speaker 1: Sitting on that mountain waiting.
Speaker 2: I think because sometimes we are so caught up in
Speaker 2: life and doing our thing that we don't take the
Speaker 2: time to look inward and really take care of that.
Speaker 1: Being. I guess you know that that higher authentic self.
Speaker 3: You know, well, even I will take it one step further.
Speaker 3: The true world is our inner world. That is the truth,
Speaker 3: the wisdom, the knowing, and even what we desire. All
Speaker 3: of that creates the external world, and we sometimes are
Speaker 3: tricked into the illusion that the external world is the
Speaker 3: truth and that we have to react to it, rather
Speaker 3: than understanding that the truth is actually within here, and
Speaker 3: the external world is a representation of my experience of that.
Speaker 3: And therefore I can navigate with this you know, this,
Speaker 3: this this light within me guiding the way because I
Speaker 3: know what is best for me, not I am reacting
Speaker 3: to what others are saying.
Speaker 2: Is in my highest good Oh my goodness, Yes, I
Speaker 2: love that so much because it took me so long
Speaker 2: to really really tap into that. And instead of thinking
Speaker 2: this happened to me, I now ask myself, Okay, what
Speaker 2: did I do or what can I change to change
Speaker 2: the outcome so that I'm not attracting this over and over?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 2: And I'm living that right now with my siblings. You know,
Speaker 2: there's some stuff going on and I'm like, Okay, instead
Speaker 2: of pointing fingers at them, let me not worry about
Speaker 2: what they're doing, let me worry about what I can
Speaker 2: do differently, how I can better this situation.
Speaker 1: So I love that you said that. Oh my gosh. Okay,
Speaker 1: So I think I'm on the right track.
Speaker 3: Yeah, one hundred percent. That reframe is everything you don't
Speaker 3: have control over anyone but you and the way you
Speaker 3: see things and the decisions you from those perceptions.
Speaker 2: Yes, Oh my goodness, Okay, I love that. Okay, And
Speaker 2: why do you think this isn't talked about more well?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, what the heck?
Speaker 2: I feel like we hear a little bit about it,
Speaker 2: but not as much as I think we should personally. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm going to tell you the truth.
Speaker 3: Just yes, I love that all aside, we are conditioned
Speaker 3: as a society not to trust ourselves because power is
Speaker 3: more easily accumulated if we don't trust our inner voice,
Speaker 3: if we are convinced by others to fear one another,
Speaker 3: to believe that others know better than we do, to
Speaker 3: believe that we are not enough, so we need to
Speaker 3: acquire X, Y or Z product or home or car.
Speaker 3: And by the way, I'm not some like love and
Speaker 3: Light healer that's here to tell you got to abandon
Speaker 3: all of that material wealth and go live on a mountaintop.
Speaker 3: That's not what I'm saying to you. Yeah, But what
Speaker 3: I am saying is an answer to your question. We
Speaker 3: are taught that others hold the answers for us, so
Speaker 3: that others can be in control of us, whoever those
Speaker 3: others are. So it doesn't make sense in a society
Speaker 3: that wants to control behavior to remind you that you
Speaker 3: have the inner wisdom to know what to do next. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it makes more sense to convince you that you don't
Speaker 3: know and that you have to constantly be seeking like
Speaker 3: this hungry ghost, you know, seeking this validation, seeking wisdom
Speaker 3: from outside yourself so that you put the power in
Speaker 3: other people's hands instead of remembering who the hell you are.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Even seeking approval, you know, like that was a big
Speaker 2: thing for me for a long time, seeking approval of
Speaker 2: my mother or my family and people pleasing and not
Speaker 2: really I was paying so much attention to the outside
Speaker 2: world that I could not hear my inner voice speaking.
Speaker 3: And now it's so clear everyone relates when you say
Speaker 3: that we all have an inner people pleaser. Yeah, and
Speaker 3: I just want to give everyone permission to see that
Speaker 3: self with some grace and love. Yeah, because that is
Speaker 3: the version of us that at a very young age,
Speaker 3: not understanding what the hell was going on, living in
Speaker 3: a very chaotic and noisy world, not understanding why other
Speaker 3: people were behaving the way they were, whether that's mom,
Speaker 3: dad's sister, friend, whoever. We create beliefs about ourselves to
Speaker 3: help make sense of a world that doesn't make sense.
Speaker 3: So when we see someone maybe not pay attention to
Speaker 3: us because they're tired or heartbroken or whatever, at a
Speaker 3: very young age, we decide, well, we need their attention,
Speaker 3: because you need your caregiver's attention for survival. So from
Speaker 3: a brilliant place of survival, we create this strategy to
Speaker 3: please others, to get their loving attention. That is a
Speaker 3: survival strategy that I want us to always honor. Honor
Speaker 3: is not the same thing as follow. But just notice, Oh,
Speaker 3: I'm in this very old survival strategy that a much
Speaker 3: younger version of myself made up to help me make
Speaker 3: sense in the world. Do I still need that outdated strategy? No,
Speaker 3: but I'm grateful that you, little one, you created it
Speaker 3: because I'm alive right now because you did that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, that makes so much freaking sense, like moving
Speaker 2: and surviving from a place of survival, and then you
Speaker 2: get to a place where you're like, Okay, I did that.
Speaker 1: That worked for me.
Speaker 2: Then now I'm thriving now I can, you know, which
Speaker 2: is why I wanted to have this conversation with you,
Speaker 2: because I'm like, Okay, I kind of know what intuition
Speaker 2: is and being in your higher self and your authentic self,
Speaker 2: but I really wanted the listeners to understand it, and
Speaker 2: and you're explaining it so beautiful, which is I mean,
Speaker 2: you are a leadership code ch and a life coach
Speaker 2: and a lot of people when they asked me what's
Speaker 2: the difference. I was just on a podcast not so
Speaker 2: long ago, and they said, Okay, what's the difference between
Speaker 2: therapy and life coaching?
Speaker 1: And I think I might.
Speaker 2: Have explained it correctly, but I feel that obviously you
Speaker 2: can explain it even better. So if you can just
Speaker 2: let us know a little bit more about the difference
Speaker 2: or what it is that you do.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a good question, because sometimes it's a very
Speaker 3: blurry line. I'll tell clients when they first start with me, Look,
Speaker 3: this is going to feel like three different experiences in one.
Speaker 3: It's going to feel like therapy, but I am not
Speaker 3: a licensed therapist. Everything that I know about healing these
Speaker 3: little limiting beliefs is either from my own life story
Speaker 3: and how I've healed them, or what I am really channeling,
Speaker 3: what I'm receiving as a method that makes sense from
Speaker 3: the collective consciousness, from the collective knowing. It's also going
Speaker 3: to feel like a spiritual experience because there is an
Speaker 3: intuitive part of me that's connecting to an intuitive part
Speaker 3: of you, and it will feel like something that's inexplicable.
Speaker 3: There's some times that I'll know things that people will
Speaker 3: be like, well, how do you know that I'm tapping
Speaker 3: into that gift of reading that energy, and then it'll
Speaker 3: feel like a leadership session. It'll feel like strategy because
Speaker 3: I come from a corporate background, so I'm a strategist
Speaker 3: at heart, So it'll be very tactical and focused on
Speaker 3: exactly what you need to do to get from A
Speaker 3: to B. And I think it depends on the life
Speaker 3: coach or the therapist you see. I mean, obviously therapists
Speaker 3: are clinically trained. They are going to be more educated
Speaker 3: about all of the different psychological things that could be happening,
Speaker 3: and that is really helpful when you're trying to understand
Speaker 3: what system is happening in your brain while you're thinking
Speaker 3: and feeling the way you're feeling. I have lots of
Speaker 3: therapy his friends who will say, though, that sometimes because
Speaker 3: some therapists stick to Western medicine and a very linear
Speaker 3: way of diagnosing things, we're missing the unspoken part. We're
Speaker 3: missing the energetic part. And so for me, what I'm
Speaker 3: doing is I'm bringing in the energetic, the unspoken, the unseen,
Speaker 3: and blending the healing together with the reminder, oh, look
Speaker 3: there's your higher self. Do see them? Great, that's who
Speaker 3: you really are. Now. My goal is for you to
Speaker 3: never need me again. That's what good looks like for me,
Speaker 3: because the wisdom is within you. I'm just the reminder.
Speaker 2: Yes, I okay, I'm just I'm so excited because this
Speaker 2: is I think this.
Speaker 1: I was looking for you. I've been looking for me.
Speaker 1: I manifested you. Look you're on the podcast.
Speaker 2: Is.
Speaker 3: I feel that way about every single client, every interview
Speaker 3: I've done for this book. It's like, if the frequency
Speaker 3: is right and the people who are listening are ready
Speaker 3: for the mess, I'll show up or my book. My
Speaker 3: book will just show up in people's laps, like they'll
Speaker 3: just see it in a bookstore and then they'll DM
Speaker 3: me and they're like, I was just in a moment
Speaker 3: where I felt really lost and there was your book.
Speaker 3: So there's a little magic, there's a little alchemy to
Speaker 3: this message that when you're in the right place and
Speaker 3: you're ready for it, it shows up for you.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, I agree.
Speaker 2: And you do work with a lot of CEOs and
Speaker 2: important people, right, I mean, obviously we don't.
Speaker 3: Need never works important.
Speaker 1: Yes, absolutely, I agree with you.
Speaker 2: I agree with you, But I mean, do you feel
Speaker 2: that they are any better with trusting themselves in like
Speaker 2: the average person.
Speaker 3: No, absolutely not.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: From my experience, you know what I have seen is
Speaker 3: I work with leaders. I also work with performers and
Speaker 3: public personalities. I think that with a certain level of
Speaker 3: success comes a certain amount of confidence because your brain
Speaker 3: has received evidence that you are good at the thing,
Speaker 3: or that you make good decisions. And we need evidence
Speaker 3: to believe that's just the way we humans are. We've
Speaker 3: got to see it to believe it. So I do
Speaker 3: think that when people have achieved and they are successful
Speaker 3: at whatever they're doing, there is an inherent confidence that
Speaker 3: helps them trust the next decision, but only if it's
Speaker 3: a decision that fits in the tiny box of decisions
Speaker 3: they've made before. The minute they want to move to
Speaker 3: another box. Let's say I'm coaching a singer who now
Speaker 3: wants to be in the movies. Immediately, imposter syndrome comes in,
Speaker 3: I'm not enough comes in. All of these limiting beliefs
Speaker 3: comes in. What do you mean, my intuition? Because now
Speaker 3: what their desire is asking of them is to have
Speaker 3: the courage to see themselves as their higher self in
Speaker 3: every scenario. But the evidence part of the brain the
Speaker 3: evidence part of the ego wants to say no, no, no, no,
Speaker 3: we only have evidence that you're good at this thing.
Speaker 3: So when they're coming to me, isn't a moment of
Speaker 3: change or transition or crisis because all of a sudden
Speaker 3: that system they had to trust their decision making is
Speaker 3: completely flipped up in the air because it's new territory.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh my goodness, you know it's so crazy? Is that?
Speaker 2: That's where I'm at a crossroads right now, which is
Speaker 2: why I'm like, you know what, I know, I still
Speaker 2: want to sing now that I've stepped back a little
Speaker 2: bit and I've created a little bit of space, soul space,
Speaker 2: but I feel like that's going to look different moving forward.
Speaker 2: And the fear steps in exactly what you said of
Speaker 2: the doubt, and I'm like, okay, wait, everything's going so
Speaker 2: well here, but why is it that my soul is
Speaker 2: telling me I need to kind.
Speaker 1: Of just go this way a little? So it's yes.
Speaker 3: Yes, And what happens when you don't listen to that voice?
Speaker 3: How does it feel?
Speaker 1: Oh? Horrible?
Speaker 2: And then I get a kick in the ass later
Speaker 2: yes by life. Yes, And it's happened so much to me.
Speaker 2: You guys that I have something in the pit of
Speaker 2: my stomach and for me, that is God, that is
Speaker 2: my intuition, that is my higher self speaking to me.
Speaker 2: And I ignore it because of the exterior, because of
Speaker 2: fear or it's people are not going to approve of it,
Speaker 2: whatever it may be. And then later on it still happens.
Speaker 2: It just it's out of my control. It just happens,
Speaker 2: and I just that's the way I see it. It's
Speaker 2: a little kick in the ass that say, hey, you
Speaker 2: didn't listen to me earlier, so I have to kind
Speaker 2: of push you to do it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, totally, I tell you know, I believe you know.
Speaker 3: I used to do crisis management and I left that
Speaker 3: to do this work. But I always say that oftentimes
Speaker 3: a crisis is intuition unlistened to, intuition unfollowed, And it's
Speaker 3: not a punishment. It's just a cause and effect. It's
Speaker 3: just evidence that you're knowing was right, so that next
Speaker 3: time you can trust it. There's always a next time.
Speaker 3: We can take that beat up stick and put it down, Yeah,
Speaker 3: because you will get a chance again to listen. And
Speaker 3: the point is when will you begin to learn to
Speaker 3: trust that wisdom?
Speaker 2: Yeah, And you know right now that you said punishment.
Speaker 2: It's something that I also struggled with for a long
Speaker 2: time because I come from like a Christian family, and
Speaker 2: I always say, you know, I am a spiritual woman.
Speaker 2: Now I am not religious, but I think when I
Speaker 2: was very religious and Christian, I always felt like I
Speaker 2: was going to be punished if I didn't do the
Speaker 2: right thing. And I had this crazy amount of fear
Speaker 2: within me that if I did something wrong, I was
Speaker 2: going to get punished or if I didn't listen. And
Speaker 2: now I feel that I have the choice. I don't
Speaker 2: know how to explain it. Maybe you'll know a little
Speaker 2: bit what I'm talking about, but I think it's important
Speaker 2: to talk about that because it would paralyze me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I couldn't even move.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm not even going to do anything because
Speaker 2: I'm just so freaking fearful. And now I move with
Speaker 2: liberty and I'm like, Okay, I know, I'm just following
Speaker 2: this feeling. But even if I take a little detour
Speaker 2: because of whatever, X, Y and Z, it's okay, I'll
Speaker 2: come back here. I can come back and yes, I'm
Speaker 2: not a horrible person.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And are you harder to control? With this awareness.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 3: Okay, going back to your very first question, why are
Speaker 3: we not taught that were intuitive? Because it's harder to
Speaker 3: control you. It's easier to control you when there's a
Speaker 3: system that tells you you need to be fearful of
Speaker 3: an external punishment. And that is not to say anything
Speaker 3: about anyone's religion. I actually very much honor spirituality in
Speaker 3: every way, and religion is one of them. But sometimes
Speaker 3: even spirituality can be formalized into a system aka religion
Speaker 3: that then has the human ego involved in it. Yeah,
Speaker 3: there are other people involved in explaining though. I always
Speaker 3: think about how, you know, back in the day when
Speaker 3: they didn't want women to have any writes, women were
Speaker 3: not allowed to read. Why they didn't want women to
Speaker 3: read and interpret? Actually, it was illegal for a long
Speaker 3: time for people to interpret the Bible and throughout Europe
Speaker 3: on their own. Wow, because what did they want? What
Speaker 3: did the Catholic Church want to be able to interpret
Speaker 3: it for you? So that is a system of control.
Speaker 2: Okay, So let's talk a little bit about men. Do
Speaker 2: you feel that men are better at leaning into their
Speaker 2: intuition than women?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I get this question a lot. I get this
Speaker 3: question because of the term women's intuition.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm.
Speaker 3: I don't believe that your intuition is connected to your
Speaker 3: gender whatsoever. Okay, in fact, I know that it's not.
Speaker 3: I do feel that male CEOs and executives follow their
Speaker 3: intuition more openly and without permission. They may not talk
Speaker 3: about it that way, but they just feel something and
Speaker 3: they make a decision. I think Forbes did a study
Speaker 3: once and sixty eight percent of ceo said they make
Speaker 3: decisions based off their intuition. I think that women in
Speaker 3: the workplace feel and know, but are not as allowed
Speaker 3: to just be decisive from that place of knowing. But
Speaker 3: I think that if you look at people in general
Speaker 3: and the way they live their lives and lead their lives,
Speaker 3: everyone is intuitive. Yeah, everyone is intuitive. The difference comes
Speaker 3: with the level of fear that's blocking your ability to
Speaker 3: hear and follow your intuition, and that is does not discriminate,
Speaker 3: you know, gender color. We all have different levels of fear,
Speaker 3: and we all have a highly intuitive part of us.
Speaker 1: Yes, all of us. Yeah, I truly believe that for sure.
Speaker 2: Every time I pray them, I thank you for my
Speaker 2: five cents is in my sixth sense because I want
Speaker 2: to like tap more and into it and not ignore it.
Speaker 2: I wasted so many years on ignoring that, and like
Speaker 2: you said, because of a fear, you know. I mean,
Speaker 2: it's sometimes it's scary to step into the known or
Speaker 2: to listen to it because you're like, wait. And for
Speaker 2: a long time, Marie, I was a little obsessed with
Speaker 2: like psychics because I knew what I was feeling, but
Speaker 2: I need confirmation totally. I need someone to tell me,
Speaker 2: and it just would cause a world of problems for me. Hmm.
Speaker 2: I was leaning too much into that, and I felt
Speaker 2: like I was getting even further and further away from
Speaker 2: my own knowing. Yeah, because I was depending so much
Speaker 2: on someone else to tell me what to do or
Speaker 2: not to do.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh yeah. Anytime you go see any healer or
Speaker 3: psychic medium, really have to check what you're receiving against
Speaker 3: your own knowing.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Always, no one knows better about you than you. Sometimes
Speaker 3: someone who's gifted that way can open your eyes to
Speaker 3: something that you may not have seen, but then you'll
Speaker 3: feel that in your body as truth. Whatever truth feels
Speaker 3: like in your body, you just know it when they
Speaker 3: say it. But if it's hitting in a place where
Speaker 3: you're like, no, that wisdom is there to guide you,
Speaker 3: so always check everything you hear against that wisdom.
Speaker 2: And you can feel, like you just said, right now,
Speaker 2: your intuition in your I feel it in my tummy. Yeah,
Speaker 2: forensipan people, you could feel it anywhere right or yeah.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: That's where the term gut feeling comes from, because the
Speaker 3: gut actually has a lot to do with consciousness and
Speaker 3: what we perceive. There's just just starting to figure that
Speaker 3: out scientists. But the body is a very good reminder
Speaker 3: of all experiences trauma, which feels like tightness, sharpness, pain,
Speaker 3: and intuitive knowing, which can feel for a lot of
Speaker 3: people like a little bubbly feeling their stomach. Some people
Speaker 3: feel it like energy building in their chest. Some people
Speaker 3: will say their fingers get a little numb, and I
Speaker 3: say in the book, there's three ways to tell the
Speaker 3: difference between intuition and fear when you're making a decision
Speaker 3: in your body is one of them. Fear in your
Speaker 3: body feels like a contraction, it feels like pressure, it
Speaker 3: feels like sharpness, tightness. That's a fear thought. Intuition your
Speaker 3: body will feel like some form of expansion or elevation,
Speaker 3: some kind of bubbly feeling or opening sensation in your body.
Speaker 3: I always tell people, when you're trying to get to
Speaker 3: know your intuition, what is the pre thought? What's the
Speaker 3: first feeling or thought you had in response to something
Speaker 3: that's your intuition? And if you really pay attention to it,
Speaker 3: it has no emotion. It's just straight up like a fact.
Speaker 1: Damn. That's pretty freaking cool.
Speaker 2: Because I sometimes I've learned that when I'm trying to
Speaker 2: make a decision, I start listening. This is just so
Speaker 2: much confirmation for me because I'm like, Okay, this is good.
Speaker 2: I'm here, I'm getting like chills. But I'll ask myself, Okay,
Speaker 2: do I have peace with this decision?
Speaker 1: And you feel it?
Speaker 2: Guys, like people have asked like, Okay, how is it
Speaker 2: that you listen to that inner voice, that intuition? We
Speaker 2: all have it, right, Mariy, Like everyone can tap into this.
Speaker 2: Can you give us some advice or some pointers as
Speaker 2: to how they can start if they don't feel what
Speaker 2: it is that we're talking about. Besides reading your book,
Speaker 2: because I really do think you guys should read it,
Speaker 2: but are there anything any other tips that you can
Speaker 2: give them.
Speaker 3: Yeah. The best way to start to acquaint yourself with
Speaker 3: your intuitive voice is to decipher the difference between it
Speaker 3: and your fear of voice. Start to pay attention when
Speaker 3: you have to make a decision, or you meet someone,
Speaker 3: or you're just having a thought. What does this thought
Speaker 3: feel like in my body? What does it feel like
Speaker 3: in my energy? What does it feel like in my emotion?
Speaker 3: If it's contracted, tight, draining, upsetting, that's a fear thought.
Speaker 3: Start to notice also the thoughts that feel calm, clear,
Speaker 3: emotionally neutral, that's an intuitive thought. When you can give
Speaker 3: your brain lanes, this is fear, This lane is intuition.
Speaker 3: It now knows how to put things into buckets, and
Speaker 3: you can begin to decide for yourself which bucket do
Speaker 3: I want to choose today? Or I'm going to check
Speaker 3: in with my fear self because it has a lot
Speaker 3: of needs that it wants to make sure get met,
Speaker 3: like safety, love, dignity. Okay, I hear you. Now, let
Speaker 3: me take a deep breath and I literally just turn
Speaker 3: your head to the other side, take a deep breath,
Speaker 3: and just say, what's the go ahead, intuition, what do
Speaker 3: you believe? And just you'll get something immediately, and then
Speaker 3: you get to decide which thought do I want to believe,
Speaker 3: because whichever thought you believe becomes your reality.
Speaker 1: From what I hear, you do believe or think that
Speaker 1: the law of attraction is very real.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean we I want to say this in
Speaker 3: the most clear, simple way. What we perceive is what
Speaker 3: is real. If you don't perceive it, it's not real
Speaker 3: to you. If you don't believe in a zebra, if
Speaker 3: you don't believe it's real. I could be looking at
Speaker 3: it and telling you, look, look, look at that thing,
Speaker 3: but you might not fully perceive it because your consciousness
Speaker 3: is not grabbing that part. So whatever your consciousness believes in,
Speaker 3: that is the way that you perceive the world. That's
Speaker 3: what that's really the basis of law of attraction, Yeah,
Speaker 3: is that you are in alignment with that thing. Oftentimes
Speaker 3: we are in alignment with fear thoughts. Yeah, so we
Speaker 3: perceive more. I'll give you really clear evidence of this.
Speaker 3: Have you ever woken up just in a really bad mood?
Speaker 1: Mm hmm, okay, yeah.
Speaker 3: The way that you think about the people you interact
Speaker 3: with that day or that morning, the way you think
Speaker 3: about opportunities coming or not coming, to you, the way
Speaker 3: you think about your friends and your family, your life, yourself.
Speaker 3: How does all of that feel when you're in a
Speaker 3: bad mood.
Speaker 2: It just it feels very negative, right, I just everything
Speaker 2: is just wrong and you see all the bad in everything.
Speaker 3: And can you find evidence that you're right? Can the
Speaker 3: friend be a bit of a jerk?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: And the rejection come through? Yeah, because you're waking up
Speaker 3: and seeing things through the lens of negativity. Now, when
Speaker 3: you're just in a great mood, how does your relationship
Speaker 3: to other people or other things change? How do you
Speaker 3: start to perceive those things?
Speaker 2: I mean I see the beauty and everything, and I
Speaker 2: see that, oh I do have a great friend, and yeah,
Speaker 2: I mean yeah for sure.
Speaker 3: So that very same friend that was annoying you yesterday
Speaker 3: when you're in a bad mood, and that was real
Speaker 3: to you, that that person was being an ass that
Speaker 3: next day, when you're in a different headspace, all of
Speaker 3: a sudden, is the most loyal, the funniest, whatever things
Speaker 3: you love about them. That becomes real. So what you
Speaker 3: perceive is what is real in your life.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: See, I mean I tell people look in the mirror
Speaker 2: and say nice things to yourself and really, there is
Speaker 2: at least one thing that you can find that you
Speaker 2: love about yourself and focus on that versus oh, my
Speaker 2: silly letter, my stretch marks. We all have defects. It's
Speaker 2: just what we choose to focus on. And I really
Speaker 2: believe in affirmations and mantras and all that stuff because
Speaker 2: it's feeding yourself your brain, and you're also speaking it.
Speaker 2: I really believe in the power of the tongue as well,
Speaker 2: so we talk about that on the podcast lot.
Speaker 1: So I truly believe in that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think there's a danger in certain terms
Speaker 3: being overused so that people can throw them away or
Speaker 3: be cynical about them, right, Like manifestation is one of
Speaker 3: those terms that has been so overused that it sort
Speaker 3: of misses people. So part of my purpose is to
Speaker 3: break it down in the most practical, pragmatic terms so
Speaker 3: that it's not something that feels woo woo, but like
Speaker 3: real to you. I want you to find experience in
Speaker 3: your own life of that concept being real.
Speaker 1: Yes, I love her, guys.
Speaker 2: Okay, So let's talk about relationships and creating high frequency relationships.
Speaker 2: Can you turn an existing relationship into a high frequency one?
Speaker 3: Everything is about your own frequency. So if you are
Speaker 3: in that relationship from a place of need, from a
Speaker 3: place of ooh, please fill this hole inside me that
Speaker 3: thinks she's not he's not worthy, she or he is
Speaker 3: not lovable, that they are not inherently worth partnership or loyalty.
Speaker 3: If you have that belief about yourself, a relationship is
Speaker 3: not going to fix that belief, and what it is
Speaker 3: going to do is magnetize a frequency that is also
Speaker 3: of equal value. Right, not fully healed, not fully in
Speaker 3: a place of believing in themselves. The only way that
Speaker 3: you move to a high frequency relationship is when you
Speaker 3: begin to fill that hole inside yourself with the inherent
Speaker 3: truth that you are worthy of love and of dignity
Speaker 3: because you exist, because you are here literally made of
Speaker 3: stardust science has shown in our bones, and a divine being.
Speaker 3: All that means is a being that's connected to something
Speaker 3: so much greater and full of unconditional love and deep
Speaker 3: knowing that is your truest essence. When you know that,
Speaker 3: and it takes work, It takes therapy, it takes healing,
Speaker 3: It takes attending to these little selves who are stuck
Speaker 3: in the illusion that they're not enough. When you begin
Speaker 3: to attend to those littles, love your littles, as I say,
Speaker 3: and they begin to believe you. Oh, I am worthy.
Speaker 3: I didn't need that person to tell me I was.
Speaker 3: I know that I am. Your frequency shifts. When your
Speaker 3: frequency shifts, you magnetize same, same like attracts like. So
Speaker 3: then you begin to magnetize a frequency that sees you
Speaker 3: that way and that treats you that way. But if
Speaker 3: you see yourself as inherently broken, what you bring in
Speaker 3: are others who will treat you like you are broken
Speaker 3: or continue to break you. People want to project their
Speaker 3: inner shame and self hatred onto others. It's so much
Speaker 3: easier to externalize that really hard feeling than to sit
Speaker 3: with it. So if you're a broken vessel and someone
Speaker 3: wants to project their own inner darkness, then you're the
Speaker 3: perfect match. But the minute that you're filling those beautiful
Speaker 3: cracks with gold and knowing of your value, uh, you
Speaker 3: don't even detect that frequency anymore, the one that wants
Speaker 3: to break you because you've elevated out of it.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, you guys. Yes, Oh, I'm just I
Speaker 2: just need to take it to breath.
Speaker 1: Because it just feels.
Speaker 2: So good and and I sometimes don't even know how
Speaker 2: to explain it. And thank Goodness for my podcast, I'm
Speaker 2: able to just it's like it's like a form of
Speaker 2: therapy for me. Just yes, you know, talking and sharing
Speaker 2: my experiences to help others. But that's when I had
Speaker 2: to face myself, when I was in one bad relationship
Speaker 2: after another, and I said, what am I doing to
Speaker 2: attract this?
Speaker 1: What am I doing?
Speaker 2: I'm I can't. I have to stop pointing my fingers
Speaker 2: at them. Yes they have their own things, and yes
Speaker 2: they weren't nice, and they did this and that, but
Speaker 2: there is something within myself that keeps attracting this, attracting
Speaker 2: the same type of man until I step back and
Speaker 2: I said, I'm going to really figure this out and
Speaker 2: sit in this pain and embrace it. And everything changed
Speaker 2: for me and I and I tell that I tell
Speaker 2: my listeners all the time.
Speaker 1: If you're trying to find a partner, you also need to.
Speaker 2: Be willing to make the changes within yourself so that
Speaker 2: you can attract and be a reflection of what you're
Speaker 2: looking for. And because I feel in my relationship when
Speaker 2: I didn't think I was ready for him, because I
Speaker 2: was doing my own inner work, and I thought I
Speaker 2: need to be alone for at least a year. And
Speaker 2: God surprised me in the universe as well, but he
Speaker 2: was also on his healing journey. He was doing therapy
Speaker 2: and so was I. And I'm like, oh, this feels
Speaker 2: so different now we're vibrating. It's just night and day. Yeah,
Speaker 2: because I think we were both ready and working on
Speaker 2: our individual selves to be better for ourselves but for
Speaker 2: each other.
Speaker 1: Right, And it's amazing.
Speaker 3: And you have to believe it's possible to perceive it.
Speaker 3: If you don't believe that a partner who is respectful
Speaker 3: or a partner who wants the very best for you, Yeah,
Speaker 3: a partner that wants you to succeed even when they don't.
Speaker 3: If you don't believe that person exists, you're not going
Speaker 3: to perceive that person. Yeah. They could be standing right
Speaker 3: next to you and you won't see it. And so
Speaker 3: much of this book is the story of my own
Speaker 3: journey from a place of my first marriage being one
Speaker 3: where I was trying to fix someone and make them
Speaker 3: be the husband and the dad for my kids that
Speaker 3: I wanted that I had imagined I needed to feel
Speaker 3: safe as a child of divorced parents, and my own
Speaker 3: reckon that came from my higher self, you know, whispering
Speaker 3: to me on the floor of my kitchen, eight months pregnant, sobbing, saying,
Speaker 3: hold on a minute, is this what you believe you're
Speaker 3: worthy of? Is this all that you believe there is?
Speaker 3: And starting to really listen to that voice and being like,
Speaker 3: who is that? What does that mean? Is this all
Speaker 3: that you believe there is? And getting so curious and
Speaker 3: beginning this journey for myself of well, if this isn't
Speaker 3: all there is, what else is there? What would that
Speaker 3: look like? What do I really want? What do I
Speaker 3: want my life to look like? Oh? Wait a minute,
Speaker 3: I don't think I deserve that. Oh okay, let's go
Speaker 3: fix that. Why don't you believe you deserve that? Oh
Speaker 3: there's that little five year old. She's sitting on the
Speaker 3: couch by herself. Mom and dad are fighting. It is
Speaker 3: all interconnected, but it really comes from this place of
Speaker 3: looking at yourself and saying, do I believe I'm worthy?
Speaker 3: Do I believe it's possible? And if the answer to
Speaker 3: those questions is no, you've got some work to do.
Speaker 3: My love amis on the other end of that work
Speaker 3: is the most fulfilling relationships, not just romantic friendships, working
Speaker 3: collaborations and romance, because all of a sudden, you're showing
Speaker 3: up more whole and you're embodying your higher self, and
Speaker 3: so people are like, ooh, I want that. I want
Speaker 3: to be near that kind of person.
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. Yes.
Speaker 2: For a long time, I thought all men are the
Speaker 2: same and they're all cheaters. And I grew up in
Speaker 2: a household where divorce was just normal and it was
Speaker 2: like okay, next next, like if this relationship didn't work, then,
Speaker 2: you know, And I'm like, Okay, well, I guess I'm
Speaker 2: just going to live like that and have a different
Speaker 2: person every so often, you know. But I had to
Speaker 2: sit down and say I want something different. I do
Speaker 2: deserve this. I real love does exist and there is
Speaker 2: maybe there isn't a perfect man, like there isn't a
Speaker 2: perfect woman. I'm not a perfect woman, but I'm going
Speaker 2: to find someone that's perfect for me. Yeah, And that
Speaker 2: it changed everything, Guys. I'm telling you because I was there,
Speaker 2: sitting there at thirty five, going through a separation, through
Speaker 2: a divorce, and I'm like, oh my gosh, am I
Speaker 2: ever going to find that person? Appso frecolutely. Yes, you can,
Speaker 2: you know and you will. We just have to also
Speaker 2: be willing to make the changes.
Speaker 3: And become that person. Yes, no worry about finding that person,
Speaker 3: become that person. The rest happens that part.
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, I love it, Okay, Mariy. So before I
Speaker 2: think we've had an amazing conversation, I'm loving this and
Speaker 2: I know my listeners are going to love it as well.
Speaker 2: So is there anything that from the conversation, from your book,
Speaker 2: from your leadership that you want people to understand and
Speaker 2: take away and something that's going to stick with them.
Speaker 3: If you go to my Instagram and you look at
Speaker 3: my bio under my name, there are four words or
Speaker 3: five not self help, self trust. What I am trying
Speaker 3: to bring about is a self trust revolution, meaning that
Speaker 3: you reject the idea that anyone knows better than you
Speaker 3: about what you need and how to get there. So
Speaker 3: I think that the last thing I want to leave
Speaker 3: your listeners with is this truth. You have the wisdom
Speaker 3: within you to know what to do next at all times,
Speaker 3: and when you believe that, you will tap into that
Speaker 3: wisdom and live a little more fulfilled, a hell of
Speaker 3: a lot freer and definitely in full alignment to your
Speaker 3: higher self.
Speaker 1: Ooh ooh, I feel so enlightened. I feel so light.
Speaker 2: There's so much confirmation, and I hope that you guys
Speaker 2: are also feeling this as well. Please pick up her book.
Speaker 2: I picked it up. High Yourself, reclaiming the power of
Speaker 2: your intuition and talking about your social media. Can you
Speaker 2: share your social media with us please? People can follow you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, follow me on Instagram at Maury Fontanas.
Speaker 2: There you guys have it, and yeah, I'm gonna be
Speaker 2: hitting you up great, Mariy.
Speaker 3: I really love talking to you. You ask the most
Speaker 3: deep and genuinely curious questions, so it's been really nice
Speaker 3: to talk to you. Thank you for having.
Speaker 2: Me, thank you for your time, and I love that
Speaker 2: you are going to help so many people.
Speaker 1: I think this is exactly what we need right now.
Speaker 1: And you guys, thank you for listening.
Speaker 2: I love you so much and I will catch you
Speaker 2: here on the next episode of Cheeks and Chew. This
Speaker 2: is a production of iHeartRadio and the micro Dura podcast Network.
Speaker 2: Follow us on Instagram at Michael Dura Podcasts and follow
Speaker 2: me Cheeky's That's c H I t U I s
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Speaker 1: And check us out on YouTube.