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Speaker 1: Hey fam, Hello Sunshine.

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Speaker 2: Today on the bright Side, it's Wellness Wednesday, and we're

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Speaker 2: talking about kindness. Sure, kindness makes us feel amazing, but

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Speaker 2: guess what, it's also a secret weapon for our health.

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Speaker 2: Joining us is kindness expert Jeanette Marae. She's here to

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Speaker 2: show us why kindness really is a superpower. She's breaking

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Speaker 2: down how it boosts our happiness, powers up our health

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Speaker 2: and wait for it, how we can stay kind even

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Speaker 2: when life gets messy. It's Wednesday, December fourth. I'm Danielle

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Speaker 2: Robe and I'm Simone Voice. And this is the bright

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Speaker 2: Side from Hello Sunshine, a daily show where we come

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Speaker 2: together to share women's stories, laugh, learn and brighten your day.

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Speaker 2: Today's Wellness Wednesday is presented by Coli guard.

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Speaker 3: So.

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Speaker 1: Kindness is a word we hear all the time.

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Speaker 2: It's in self help books, it's in social media hashtags,

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Speaker 2: it's even on bumper stickers.

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Speaker 1: But what does it actually mean to be?

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Speaker 2: Is it about holding the door open or smiling at

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Speaker 2: a stranger or is it something deeper? Is there something

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Speaker 2: more transformative at play? Here's one thing I do know

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Speaker 2: about kindness. It actually releases oxytocin, which is the love

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Speaker 2: hormone that creates those warm, fuzzy feelings of connection. It's

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Speaker 2: the same hormone that bonds a mother to her child

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Speaker 2: during birth. So kindness literally brings us closer together as

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Speaker 2: human beings.

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Speaker 1: It's crucial for our health.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it turns out there are actual physiological benefits to

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Speaker 3: practicing kindness, both when we extend it to others and

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Speaker 3: when it's gifted back to us. Joining us today is

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Speaker 3: Jeanette Murray, a kindness researcher and the director of the

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Speaker 3: Science of Kindness Community Collective at the University of Arizona.

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Speaker 3: She and her students are on a mission to explore

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Speaker 3: how we can spread more kindness in our relationships, workplaces,

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Speaker 3: and yeah, communities too.

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Speaker 2: She's also the founder of Ben's Bells, a nonprofit dedicated

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Speaker 2: to inspiring and teaching the intentional practice of kindness, a

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Speaker 2: mission born from just the deepest heartbreak. In two thousand

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Speaker 2: and two, after the sudden loss of her toddler Ben

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Speaker 2: to a common virus, she found herself navigating unimaginable grief,

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Speaker 2: and through that pain, she discovered just how life changing

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Speaker 2: kindness could be. That realization sparked her journey to explore

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Speaker 2: the transformative, world changing power of kindness, a mission that

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Speaker 2: continues to touch countless lives.

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Speaker 3: Today, let's bring her in. Jeanette Murray, Welcome to the

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Speaker 3: bright Side.

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Speaker 4: Oh, thank you so much. I'm thrilled to be here.

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Speaker 1: We're so happy to have you. We're thrilled to have you.

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Speaker 3: And before we dive into the benefits of kindness, I'd

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Speaker 3: love to start by just defining what it is. Can

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Speaker 3: you tell us exactly from your POV what is kindness?

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Speaker 3: Because it's different from being nice.

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Speaker 5: Kindness is definitely about behaviors that benefit other people but

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Speaker 5: also benefit ourselves, and kindness is good for people in

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Speaker 5: general for all parties that are involved. Kindness is real,

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Speaker 5: it's honest. Kindness is willing to have a hard conversation,

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Speaker 5: be a little uncomfortable in order to learn and.

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Speaker 4: Grow and do better.

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Speaker 5: Whereas niceness is about, you know, not rocking the boat,

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Speaker 5: making sure you know, things look neat and tidy even

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Speaker 5: if they aren't. Niceness is often about pleasing, sometimes martyring

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Speaker 5: ourselves a bit. Kindness will rock the boat right because

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Speaker 5: sometimes we need to say, you know, what is the

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Speaker 5: kind thing to do here? This might be, this might

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Speaker 5: be hard, but we we can sit down, we can

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Speaker 5: trust each other, we can have this hard conversation. And

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Speaker 5: so kindness really ultimately should reduce stress and create strong relationships,

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Speaker 5: whereas niceness can sometimes increase stress and actually hurt relationships.

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Speaker 5: There's definitely an honesty piece, authenticity piece to the difference

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Speaker 5: between nice and kind.

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Speaker 2: Oh interesting, So in that vein, do you think that

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Speaker 2: kindness can be learned?

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Speaker 1: Is it a skill?

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Speaker 5: There are definitely skills involved with kindness, skills like you know,

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Speaker 5: emotional regulation, self awareness, empathy skills, but then also communication skills.

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Speaker 5: So for example, a kind behavior is supporting somebody who's grieving,

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Speaker 5: but you need to have some communication skills in order

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Speaker 5: to do that well. You also have to have some

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Speaker 5: self awareness, some emotional regulation on your own part in

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Speaker 5: order to do that kindness skill well. So kindness is

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Speaker 5: definitely requires a lot of skills, and it definitely has

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Speaker 5: an orientation of solidarity and we're in this together, and

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Speaker 5: you know, humans deserve kindness just by the virtue of

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Speaker 5: being humans.

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Speaker 3: Jeanette, you have an incredible story that led you right

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Speaker 3: into the heart of what kindness means and what it

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Speaker 3: looks like in an unkind world. You lost your son

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Speaker 3: suddenly right before his third birthday. I imagine a moment

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Speaker 3: like that changes everything.

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Speaker 5: It absolutely changes everything, And it really did change the

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Speaker 5: way I understood kindness. You know, really, I think people

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Speaker 5: make kindness out to be, especially in our culture. You know,

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Speaker 5: you know, kindness is most people like kindness, but we

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Speaker 5: often think it's kind of soft or nice, or you know,

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Speaker 5: rainbows are butterflies kind of sweet. But after my son

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Speaker 5: Ben died, I experience those kindnesses as completely life saving.

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Speaker 5: And it was courageous for people to come into that

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Speaker 5: painful place and to listen to me and to see

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Speaker 5: what I needed and to see what my family needed,

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Speaker 5: and to do all of those things that are uncomfortable

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Speaker 5: when you're when you're in such a painful place. So

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Speaker 5: I really started understanding kindness differently. I was starting to

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Speaker 5: really see, like, whoa, you know, kindness is. It's hard,

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Speaker 5: and it's powerful, and it's life changing, and we need

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Speaker 5: to be talking about this more. And I was especially

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Speaker 5: blown away that I could leave the hospital where my

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Speaker 5: son died and have had the worst possible outcome, but

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Speaker 5: still have had amazing care and experiences with the humans

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Speaker 5: in that hospital, the way they supported us after Ben's

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Speaker 5: death after they couldn't do anything else to help him.

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Speaker 5: The way they supported us really sort of set us

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Speaker 5: on our recovery road in a different way than if

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Speaker 5: we had, you know, had not had received that sort

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Speaker 5: of support, that sort of kindness, that sort of social support,

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Speaker 5: emotional support, listening care that we received from the hospital employees.

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Speaker 3: Jeannette, I normally I really cringe whenever people insert themselves

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Speaker 3: into someone else's story, but I have to have to

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Speaker 3: just share this. I have a three year old, and

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Speaker 3: so I feel particularly connected to your story. I can't

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Speaker 3: imagine what that must have been like. Can you give

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Speaker 3: me an example of the kind of kindness you're describing

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Speaker 3: to us right now?

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Speaker 1: In action? How did people show up for you?

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Speaker 3: Like, what is your What is the most powerful example

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Speaker 3: of kindness that you can recall from that time?

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Speaker 5: Well, you know, I hesitate to sort of rank the

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Speaker 5: kindnesses because they're all important, right. They come at with

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Speaker 5: us in different ways, and they communicate this collective you know,

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Speaker 5: support that is so vital.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 5: I was a faculty member at the University of Arizona

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Speaker 5: at the time, and when I went back to work,

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Speaker 5: I remember, you know, some random you know, nineteen year

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Speaker 5: old college student holding a door open for me, and

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Speaker 5: I remembered wanting to say to him, you know, I

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Speaker 5: know you think you're just holding an open a door,

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Speaker 5: but you know, here's my story. And I didn't do that,

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Speaker 5: but I remember how significant this, This kid who had

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Speaker 5: no idea what I was going through, is just seeing

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Speaker 5: me opening a door and you know, saying good morning

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Speaker 5: and holding a door for me.

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Speaker 4: It was super important.

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Speaker 5: That said that, other things like being listened to, is

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Speaker 5: a really big one when you're grieving, right, Having people

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Speaker 5: who will sit and listen and not try to fix,

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Speaker 5: not try, you know, not say things like at least

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Speaker 5: this and at least that, not do all the sort

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Speaker 5: of placating that often happens in our culture when things

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Speaker 5: are hard.

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Speaker 4: So listening was an incredible kindness.

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Speaker 5: People did, you know, things like bring us food and

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Speaker 5: help drive my son to school and those sorts of

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Speaker 5: things as well, but really just the showing up, the

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Speaker 5: being with me, the holding my hand, the listening was huge.

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Speaker 5: The listening and sort of trusting that I was processing

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Speaker 5: and that other folks didn't have to try to fix me.

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Speaker 3: So it's been over twenty years since your son passed away,

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Speaker 3: and now you call yourself a community engaged kindness researcher.

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Speaker 3: What does that mean, especially that community engaged portion.

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Speaker 4: Yes.

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Speaker 5: Well, so this nonprofit that I started, called Ben's Bells,

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Speaker 5: I ran that for seventeen years and it grew and

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Speaker 5: grew and doing wonderful work. But I was leading then,

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Speaker 5: leading an organization, leading a business, which is not what

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Speaker 5: I love to do. I'm a social scientist, and so

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Speaker 5: I stepped down from my job there and hired a

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Speaker 5: new person to take over, and I went back to

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Speaker 5: school and actually got a PhD. And because I had

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Speaker 5: so many questions about this work, and my questions sort

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Speaker 5: of land in this space of Okay, kindness is really

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Speaker 5: good for us. We have abundant evidence that kindness is

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Speaker 5: really important. How do we do it better? And so

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Speaker 5: my work ends up landing in a place that we

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Speaker 5: call implementation science, right, where how do we get people

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Speaker 5: to do this thing that we know is important, interacting

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Speaker 5: in ways that communicate to each other that we're in

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Speaker 5: this together, and that we can help create communities, you know,

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Speaker 5: create environments where all of us can thrive. Those in

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Speaker 5: those environments, there are still problems, but we deal with

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Speaker 5: our problems knowing that we're supported by the people around us,

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Speaker 5: and that's a game changer from you know, living in

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Speaker 5: a way where we all feel like we're separate, or

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Speaker 5: you know, there's all these divisions which which are actually there.

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Speaker 5: There definitely are divisions there. There are ways that we

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Speaker 5: are almost engineering ourselves out of connection through technology and

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Speaker 5: through after COVID and through you know, various sorts of

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Speaker 5: discrimination or marginalization, the ways we separate ourselves from each other.

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Speaker 5: But the good news is we can we can do

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Speaker 5: a lot better when we're together, and we can work

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Speaker 5: to come together better. And so that's where our work lands.

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Speaker 5: How do we how do we increase kind behavior? Literally,

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Speaker 5: increase kind behavior in communities? That's the goal.

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Speaker 2: Well, when you say how to increase kind behavior, you've

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Speaker 2: cited for predictors that indicate kindness.

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Speaker 1: Can you share those? Absolutely?

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Speaker 5: So if we want to increase kind behavior, we look

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Speaker 5: at these four things. And the first thing it seems obvious,

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Speaker 5: but it's attitude. You know, what do people feel about

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Speaker 5: doing that behavior? If I do that behavior, will it

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Speaker 5: be good for me?

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Speaker 4: Will?

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Speaker 3: You know?

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Speaker 5: For example, if I think being kind is soft, I'm

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Speaker 5: probably not going to do the behavior right, because I

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Speaker 5: don't want people to think I'm soft. So we have

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Speaker 5: to target people's attitudes. We need to message that that

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Speaker 5: kindness is strong. We need to, you know, do things

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Speaker 5: that say kindness is cool, whatever it is.

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Speaker 4: We target attitudes.

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Speaker 5: If people already believe that kindness is great and it's

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Speaker 5: important and we should do it, then we then we

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Speaker 5: don't have to work as hard on that predictor. The

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Speaker 5: second predictor is norms, and that's just what are the

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Speaker 5: social norms? So if you're going to a school or

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Speaker 5: you work in an office, you know, do the people

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Speaker 5: in there believe in kindness? Do they do kindness? Does

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Speaker 5: your boss think it's important to talk about and solve

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Speaker 5: problems with kindness? We really, as social creatures, influence each

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Speaker 5: other in these ways. So that predictor of norms asks

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Speaker 5: the question, you know, are the people that important to me?

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Speaker 5: Do they think I should be doing kind behaviors? And

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Speaker 5: are they doing kind behaviors themselves? So a lot to

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Speaker 5: do with modeling kindness influencers, you know, who are influencers

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Speaker 5: that we can get to really message about kindness and

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Speaker 5: talk about the benefits of kindness and really do kindness

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Speaker 5: in a way that others see and accept. The third

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Speaker 5: predictor is skills, And we talked about this a little

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Speaker 5: bit already that if we want to do a behavior

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Speaker 5: but we don't know how to do it, we're not.

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Speaker 4: Going to do it.

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Speaker 5: So if I want to support somebody who is grieving,

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Speaker 5: for example, but I don't know how to do that,

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Speaker 5: I'm not going to do it. We all know what

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Speaker 5: it feels like to avoid a hard conversation because we

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Speaker 5: don't know how to do it. So we were trying

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Speaker 5: to create conditions where learning about this stuff is just

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Speaker 5: something we all do. And then the fourth predictor is

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Speaker 5: what are the systems in place that are either barriers

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Speaker 5: to kind behavior or that are facilitators that help us

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Speaker 5: do kind behavior in an organization? You know, time is

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Speaker 5: often an issue, right or it's a perceived issue. Do

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Speaker 5: the systems allow us to take the time we need

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Speaker 5: to have these kind of conversations to learn the skills

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Speaker 5: we need that sort of thing. So the idea is

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Speaker 5: that if all four of these predictors are sort of

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Speaker 5: in place, then people are likely to do that behavior.

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Speaker 5: So when we want to intervene and try to raise

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Speaker 5: the behavior, we focus on those four predictors.

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Speaker 2: We have to take a quick break, but we'll be

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Speaker 2: right back with Jeanette Murray. Stick with us, and we're

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Speaker 2: back with Kindness researcher Jeanette Mamrae. This is going to

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Speaker 2: sound sort of random, but why are some people kinder

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Speaker 2: than others?

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Speaker 5: Well, just like most things, we do think that there

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Speaker 5: is some sort of innate part of this, right, that

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Speaker 5: some people are born a little more talented in this way.

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Speaker 5: But like most things, we also believe that there's a

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Speaker 5: lot of context involved with it too, Right, so you know,

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Speaker 5: how are you raised, what are your important people in

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Speaker 5: your life modeling for you, what kind of skills? But

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Speaker 5: also there are contexts that make people have to be

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Speaker 5: sort of self protective. For example, if you are marginalized

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Speaker 5: in any way, if you're in a community that you

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Speaker 5: know is not does not experience equality or whatever, then

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Speaker 5: we get into our a position of self protection or

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Speaker 5: you know, protection of just my family or whatever, and

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Speaker 5: it's harder to look out. So really being able to

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Speaker 5: be kind and look outward and be very other focused

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Speaker 5: is a you know, it's a privilege to be in

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Speaker 5: that position where you can look outward. If you are

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Speaker 5: having to worry about. You know, if you're in poverty

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Speaker 5: and you're having to worry about where Neil is coming,

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Speaker 5: you're less likely to be able to do a whole

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Speaker 5: lot of outward looking. So in this way, we see

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Speaker 5: kindness as actually, you know, a health equity issue, right.

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Speaker 5: We need, we want everybody to be in the position

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Speaker 5: to do kindness because it's so good for us. It

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Speaker 5: is good to do kindness for other people. In fact,

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Speaker 5: the benefits for doing kindness may outweigh the benefits for

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Speaker 5: receiving kindness. And so when we push people into a

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Speaker 5: place of self protection when we feel unsafe, we actually

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Speaker 5: deprive people of the ability the opportunity to connect with

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Speaker 5: other people in such healthy ways.

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Speaker 2: I was actually reading that even watching an active kindness

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Speaker 2: increases our oxytocin, so you don't even have to be

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Speaker 2: part of the kind act in any way to receive

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Speaker 2: the benefit, which is wild.

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Speaker 5: Isn't that great? And that just speaks to what a

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Speaker 5: social species we are. There's an emotion called elevation. Do

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Speaker 5: you know this emotion? I think it doesn't get enough press.

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Speaker 4: I think the people.

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Speaker 1: Love let's talk about it well.

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Speaker 5: Elevation is that feeling when you see goodness happening between

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Speaker 5: other humans and it makes you go, oh, you know,

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Speaker 5: humanity is good. People are good, but it's not always happy.

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Speaker 5: It's not happiness is not the right thing because it

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Speaker 5: may be a sad situation. But you feel that feeling

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Speaker 5: of oh, that is so good that they did that.

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Speaker 5: That feeling of elevation is such a good emotion. It's

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Speaker 5: so connecting to other people. And you're absolutely right. You

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Speaker 5: can be not even involved in the immediate kindness that's

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Speaker 5: happening and have some really amazing effects from it. That

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Speaker 5: feeling of solidarity and humanity and we're in this together

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Speaker 5: is really healthy for us as a as a social species.

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Speaker 2: So all of the dog videos that people watch online

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Speaker 2: are actually not a waste of time.

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Speaker 1: Is what you're saying.

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Speaker 5: Now, All things dog are just good for us. That's good,

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Speaker 5: it's good. Those are good relationships to encourage.

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Speaker 3: Definitely, I'd love to learn more about the health benefits

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Speaker 3: of kindness. How does being kind affect our physiological responses?

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Speaker 4: Yes, there there.

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Speaker 5: You know, there's a lot of research in this area.

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Speaker 5: So to make it a little bit simplistic, but we

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Speaker 5: think that when we engage in kindness and again, we

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Speaker 5: can we can be experience kindness as the giver of kindness,

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Speaker 5: the receiver, the witness of a kindness. We can hear

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Speaker 5: about kindness on a podcast. There's these different ways we

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Speaker 5: can experience kindness. Those experiences increase our connections, our relationships.

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Speaker 5: They improve our interpersonal connections and again not only our

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Speaker 5: strong connections like friends and family, but certainly you know

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Speaker 5: co workers, you know the person at the coffee shop

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Speaker 5: who you see every day, that even people walking down

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Speaker 5: the street. Those connections are important communicators again of safety

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Speaker 5: for us, which reduces our stress. Reduced stress, we believe

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Speaker 5: is one of the reasons why we have that are health.

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Speaker 5: Physical health outcomes from kindness because those relationships are so

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Speaker 5: important for keeping us healthy and emotionally well. So when

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Speaker 5: we feel unsafe, and it's not always conscious that we

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Speaker 5: feel unsafe, and I'm not only talking about physical safety,

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Speaker 5: but you know emotional safety, you know, identity safety, cultural safety.

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Speaker 5: We have a vigilance in our bodies, a stress in

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Speaker 5: our bodies that we may not even be aware of.

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Speaker 5: And when we feel like when what kindness is around

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Speaker 5: us and we feel safe, we can let down that vigilance,

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Speaker 5: which is which is really really good for our health.

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Speaker 3: Well, you also came up with a clever way to

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Speaker 3: increase our daily dose of kindness and combat unkind behavior.

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Speaker 3: Would you tell us about the green dot red dot system?

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Speaker 4: Sure? Absolutely so.

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Speaker 5: One of the things I've learned over these I've been

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Speaker 5: working in the kindness world now for twenty something years,

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Speaker 5: is that it's not that hard to get people to

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Speaker 5: the point of kindness is good, yay kindness, But how

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Speaker 5: do we get people to actually increase their kind behavior? Right,

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Speaker 5: Because we're looking at the behavior that we want increased,

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Speaker 5: not just the feelings inside that may motivate that behavior.

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Speaker 5: So this intervention is called more green dots, and the

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Speaker 5: idea is that we need these kind interactions in our lives.

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Speaker 5: And in this intervention, a green dot is a kind interaction.

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Speaker 5: So if I do a kindness for you, I get

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Speaker 5: a green dot and you also get a green dot.

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Speaker 5: So we're sort of adding up and it becomes a

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Speaker 5: math thing. Right, So we actually need a quantity of

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Speaker 5: green dots in our day in order to look back

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Speaker 5: on our day and say that was a good day.

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Speaker 5: This actually, this idea came out of patient experience and healthcare.

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Speaker 5: The barrel Institute is an institute that works on patient

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Speaker 5: experience and healthcare, and they define patient experience as the

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Speaker 5: sum of all interactions that a patient has in the

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Speaker 5: hospital or the clinic or whatever, the sum of those interactions.

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Speaker 5: So this is this idea that if we don't have

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Speaker 5: kind in our actions in our lives, we're not getting

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Speaker 5: those important health benefits right, We're not creating those connections

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Speaker 5: that lead to better relationships. So the idea that we

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Speaker 5: need to eat more fruits and vegetables, we need to

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Speaker 5: get worsely, we need to move our bodies. We need

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Speaker 5: to get more green dots. And we can be intentional

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Speaker 5: about creating those green dots for ourselves and each other,

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Speaker 5: and we can work to reduce the red dots in

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Speaker 5: our lives, which happen to be usually worth more than

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Speaker 5: a green dot because negative experience is sticking our brains easier.

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Speaker 5: We have a negativity bias, so when we have a

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Speaker 5: negative experience and unkind experience, we're going to remember it more.

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Speaker 5: So we may need three, four, five green dots to

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Speaker 5: cancel out that one big negative experience in our brains.

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Speaker 3: It's time for another short break. We'll be right back

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Speaker 3: with kindness. Researcher Jeanette Marae and we're back with Jeanette Murray.

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Speaker 2: I think because of your work, your mind is so

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Speaker 2: oriented around kindness. For people whose work is not oriented

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Speaker 2: all around kindness, what do you do when you don't

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Speaker 2: know what the kind thing is to do?

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Speaker 5: Like?

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Speaker 1: What is your matrix for that?

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Speaker 4: Yeah? And my my job is not rainbows and butterflies

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Speaker 4: at all.

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Speaker 5: I work out a university that's going through such a crisis,

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Speaker 5: you know, so very much. In real life, we work

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Speaker 5: in healthcare a lot a lot of suffering, you know.

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Speaker 5: I live in a city where we have a lot

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Speaker 5: of poverty. So so, and what you just asked, I

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Speaker 5: think is the bottom line question, what does kindness look

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Speaker 5: like in this situation? And that when they're dealing with

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Speaker 5: something hard, which we are doing every single day, we say,

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Speaker 5: what what? How do we do this with kindness? You know,

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Speaker 5: we have our reactive ways of doing things, but what

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Speaker 5: would kindness look like here? Remembering that kindness isn't just

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Speaker 5: rainbows and butterflies, right, it means you know, saying I

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Speaker 5: think we need to sit down and talk about this,

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Speaker 5: and we need to talk about it honestly because we

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Speaker 5: trust each other to do that. So kindness really is

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Speaker 5: about all the hard things. You know, equality is kind,

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Speaker 5: Taking care of each other is kind. Making sure people

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Speaker 5: have opportunity is kind. So this isn't just about the

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Speaker 5: easy stuff. In fact, it's the opposite of that. It's

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Speaker 5: about the hard stuff too. Knowing that the way we

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Speaker 5: interact just in everyday ways. You know, we're in this together,

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Speaker 5: we're in this town together, we're at this university together,

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Speaker 5: we're in this neighborhood together. Whatever, how can we help

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Speaker 5: take care of each other? And what does that look like?

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Speaker 2: The way you are describing it makes me think of

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Speaker 2: the imagery of soil and seeds, like there's so many

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Speaker 2: different levels of this that all act together to make

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Speaker 2: the plant sprout.

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Speaker 4: I love that. That's a great image.

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Speaker 5: I think that in social science we would look at

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Speaker 5: that as what we call a social ecological model, which

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Speaker 5: is where there's the individuals sort of at the center.

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Speaker 5: But individuals don't live just as individuals floating around in

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Speaker 5: the world. We're nested in our families and friends and

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Speaker 5: our workplaces, in our schools, in our communities, and then

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Speaker 5: we're governed by laws and when we want to try

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Speaker 5: to do something we have to sort of intervene at

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Speaker 5: these different levels. Like you said, it's not just one

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Speaker 5: one simple thing. We need to look at what individuals

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Speaker 5: need to be kinder, What do institutions need to do

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Speaker 5: to be kinder, How can our policies and our laws

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Speaker 5: be kinder? And that kindness really again is not this

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Speaker 5: soft thing, but it's about how do we take care

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Speaker 5: of the people the best way.

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Speaker 4: How do we do things that are equitable, How do

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Speaker 4: we make things fair?

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Speaker 5: How do we set the stage for people to you know,

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Speaker 5: do their lives, to work hard and take care of

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Speaker 5: their families and have some fun and you know, grow

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Speaker 5: a garden and do these things that all of us

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Speaker 5: want to do, you know, and we get we get

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Speaker 5: so there's so much negativity that that those of us

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Speaker 5: that are really working towards positivity, we just need to

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00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:59,720
Speaker 5: get a lot louder. And it's not this toxic positivity

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00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:02,440
Speaker 5: where just like just be nice and just pretend everything's okay.

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00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:04,520
Speaker 5: It's like, how do we how do we use this

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00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:08,439
Speaker 5: in the real world to increase these behaviors that support

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00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:10,639
Speaker 5: each other going through all this hard stuff.

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Speaker 1: I learned so many terms from you today.

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00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:17,040
Speaker 2: I wrote down social ecological model, kindness is salient. I

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00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:19,560
Speaker 2: love thank you so much. This has been so enlightening.

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Speaker 2: My last question for you is does it pay to

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00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:27,280
Speaker 2: be kind? Is it financially advantageous to be kind?

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00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:29,879
Speaker 4: I think we're getting some good evidence that it is.

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Speaker 5: You'll see businesses, you know who we can be a

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00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:36,760
Speaker 5: little cynical about, right, big businesses starting to realize that,

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00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:40,240
Speaker 5: you know, treating your your employees well, treating them with kindness,

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00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:43,199
Speaker 5: making sure that they're that they have what they need,

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Speaker 5: that they get some rest, that they have benefits, that

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00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:48,359
Speaker 5: we're not overworking people.

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Speaker 4: Is it pays off?

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00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:53,760
Speaker 5: You know, people are happier, more satisfied in their jobs,

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00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:57,440
Speaker 5: they stay longer, they work better. And so that's a

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00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:00,479
Speaker 5: little bit of a cynical view where that kindness affects

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00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,639
Speaker 5: the bottom line, But we do have some evidence that

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00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:05,720
Speaker 5: it does. But just in our lives, you know, there's

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00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:09,520
Speaker 5: there's this huge Harvard study it's eighty five years old,

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00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:13,600
Speaker 5: about what makes a happy life. This and the bottom

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00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:17,800
Speaker 5: line is relationships more so than all of these material

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00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:21,160
Speaker 5: things that sometimes our culture says we need in order

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00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:24,240
Speaker 5: to be happy. We're in this together, and together we

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00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:27,280
Speaker 5: all do better. It sounds Pollyanna, but it's actually true.

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Speaker 1: That's the best part is when the Pollyanna is true.

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Speaker 3: I love.

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00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:33,320
Speaker 1: That's my favorite.

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00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:36,960
Speaker 3: Exactly exactly know it's true because you taught us about

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00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:40,200
Speaker 3: the emotion elevation and that's yes, that's true, that's a

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00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:40,680
Speaker 3: real thing.

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Speaker 1: I'm so glad that you shared that with us today

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00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:45,080
Speaker 1: because I did not know that that was an emotion.

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00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:46,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, I love.

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00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:48,960
Speaker 5: I remember back in the day watching the Oprah Show,

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00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,080
Speaker 5: Oprah Winfrey, and that was that was an emotion I

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00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:54,760
Speaker 5: felt regularly watching Oprah Winfrey's show, right elevation seeing the

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00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:57,440
Speaker 5: stories and as you know, the stories you all share

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00:24:57,520 --> 00:24:59,800
Speaker 5: here and that you know that we're sharing around they're

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00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:02,080
Speaker 5: not but they're not just so that we can all

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00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:05,359
Speaker 5: go you know, oh, but rather it's like, oh, yeah, humans,

485
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:07,280
Speaker 5: we're supposed to be doing this for each other. This

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00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:09,840
Speaker 5: is where we thrive when we're together like this.

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00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:14,720
Speaker 1: That's so beautiful. Thank you, good stuff, Jeanette Murray. Thank

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00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:16,639
Speaker 1: you so much for joining us on the bright side.

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Speaker 4: Thank you for having me. It was so much fun

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00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:19,440
Speaker 4: talking with you.

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Speaker 2: Jeanette Moray is a kindness researcher and director of the

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00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:32,399
Speaker 2: Science of Kindness community collective at the University of Arizona.

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00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:35,480
Speaker 2: She's also the founder of Ben's Bells, a nonprofit that

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00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:39,240
Speaker 2: inspires and teaches the intentional practice of kindness.

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Speaker 1: That's it for today's show.

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00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:47,040
Speaker 3: Tomorrow, we've got marketing executive and newly minted real housewife

497
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:50,440
Speaker 3: of Beverly Hills Bosama Saint John. She's telling us why

498
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:53,800
Speaker 3: she decided to join the franchise and which housewife she

499
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:58,399
Speaker 3: thinks benefits most from an edit. Thank you to our

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Speaker 3: partners at Couligard. A kind way to screen for colon

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Speaker 3: cancer in the privacy and comfort of your own home.

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Speaker 3: Talk to your doctor or healthcare provider, or go to

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Speaker 3: colligard dot com slash podcast to see if you're eligible

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Speaker 3: to order online. If you're forty five or older and

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Speaker 3: at average risk, ask your healthcare provider about screening for

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Speaker 3: colon cancer with Coligard. You can also request a Coliguard

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Speaker 3: prescription today at colligard dot com slash podcast. Join the

508
00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:26,720
Speaker 3: conversation using hashtag the bright Side and connect with us

509
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:30,320
Speaker 3: on social media at Hello Sunshine on Instagram and at

510
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:33,400
Speaker 3: the bright Side Pod on TikTok Oh, and feel free

511
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:36,359
Speaker 3: to tag us at simone voice and at Danielle Robe.

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00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:39,760
Speaker 2: Listen and follow the bright Side on the iHeartRadio app,

513
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:42,440
Speaker 2: Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:45,680
Speaker 1: See you tomorrow, folks, keep looking on the bright side.