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Speaker 1: Welcome to Couples Counseling with Chelsea hand Job, where.

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Speaker 2: We do couples counseling on all sorts of variations of friends, lovers, families.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to my office. Okay, Hi, Hi Catherine, we are doing.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to our midisode.

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Speaker 1: Hello Chelsea. You know I like everything nugget sized you do. Indeed, Chelsea,

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Speaker 1: should we just jump right into it? Of course I

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Speaker 1: have pursuquesto.

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Speaker 3: I have a couple of fun emails today, one follow

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Speaker 3: up and one just that I got that I thought

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Speaker 3: was good to share. Gretchen says, Hi, Chelsea, I loved

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Speaker 3: your new book so fun and entertaining. Sometimes audiobook narration

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Speaker 3: cannot do justice to its content, but I must say

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Speaker 3: you nailed it. Congratulations, Gretchen.

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Speaker 1: So nice.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's a good reminder too, like I feel

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Speaker 3: like with personal stories and especially for comedians, like always

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Speaker 3: go audiobook.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I got a couple notes that I talk too

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Speaker 2: fast on this audible. Most of the notes say that

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Speaker 2: people love it and da da da, And it's also

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Speaker 2: on all the lists, so thank you for that, all

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Speaker 2: the best selling lists, audio lists. But I do want

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Speaker 2: to say that's how I fucking talk, so like, I'm

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Speaker 2: sorry that I talked fast, but if I were talking slowly,

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Speaker 2: that wouldn't really be authentically who I am.

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Speaker 3: And also, guess what, people can play it on point

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Speaker 3: seventy five, so that's up to them.

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Speaker 1: Oh they can slow it down. Yeah, yeah, So if

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Speaker 1: you think I talked.

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Speaker 2: Too fast, welcome to my world. It's called I'll have

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Speaker 2: what she's having In case you haven't heard.

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Speaker 3: Yes, And then our next follow up comes from Aspen.

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Speaker 1: She had called in. She was a.

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Speaker 3: Hairdresser who called in on our Low Bosworth episode. She

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Speaker 3: was in a career funk, and so she let us know.

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Speaker 3: I've actually been meaning to follow up with y'all. It

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Speaker 3: was kind of crazy. Actually, I had been in that

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Speaker 3: career slum for about a year when I emailed in.

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Speaker 3: I really love where I work, but I needed a

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Speaker 3: new challenge. Low and Chelsea really encouraged me to just

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Speaker 3: settle in and enjoy my success, and I did just

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Speaker 3: that for a few weeks.

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Speaker 1: I shit you not.

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Speaker 3: A few weeks after the chat, the women who own

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Speaker 3: my salon offered me a twenty percent ownership of the

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Speaker 3: company with a whole new set of responsibilities. Oh god, yes,

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Speaker 3: I'll profit share with the rest of the ownership team

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Speaker 3: as well. So it's safe to say my question was

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Speaker 3: answered and the universe worked its magic, and now my

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Speaker 3: next ten years are fully planned and booked.

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Speaker 2: Thanks again, look at that and see if she had left,

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Speaker 2: she would have never gotten that exactly, and that It's

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Speaker 2: not usual that I tell people to sit where they

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Speaker 2: are and enjoy it, right. Usually I might get the

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Speaker 2: fuck out of there.

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Speaker 3: No, but it's like, sometimes there's a little magic in

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Speaker 3: the air happening on the show.

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Speaker 2: You do think, so sometimes there's just magic in the

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Speaker 2: air happening, So you got to really fucking look at it.

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Speaker 1: Look up, but don't miss the rainbows. People.

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Speaker 3: Well, our question today for our Minisoda comes from Gemma

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Speaker 3: and Cameron. They're a husband and wife. Oh good, I

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Speaker 3: love couples. Yes, Gemma rights. Dear Chelsea. My relationship with

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Speaker 3: my sister in law has always been complicated. For context,

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Speaker 3: we're both in our early thirties and my husband is

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Speaker 3: in his late thirties. Before we met, she said I

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Speaker 3: wasn't pretty enough for her brother. When we met, she

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Speaker 3: acted like she liked me and then went back to

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Speaker 3: not liking me. I asked her if I had done

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Speaker 3: anything wrong, and she said she was just protective of

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Speaker 3: her brother and apologized. That was ten years ago. Since then,

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Speaker 3: we've gone back and forth between having a good relationship

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Speaker 3: and not speaking at all. Sometimes she's cool and fun

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Speaker 3: to be around, and sometimes she's passive, aggressive, moody, and

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Speaker 3: self centered. I've tried to do everything right, but I've

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Speaker 3: always had to walk on eggshells with her. Last year,

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Speaker 3: when we both got pregnant at the same time, she

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Speaker 3: started reaching out to me regularly and we finally had

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Speaker 3: a great relationship for the first time. I was so

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Speaker 3: excited that we were on good terms and our babies

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Speaker 3: could grow up together. We hung out multiple times and

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Speaker 3: I thought her issues with me were finally in the past.

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Speaker 3: Then we spent a weekend with my husband's family and

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Speaker 3: things went south again. She told my husband that everyone

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Speaker 3: in her family doesn't like me or how I treat him.

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Speaker 3: I admit I can have an attitude, but nothing crazy. Nevertheless,

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Speaker 3: I texted her a long apology and assured her it

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Speaker 3: wouldn't happen again. She was understanding and seemed to forgive me,

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Speaker 3: But since then, her passive aggressive behavior has made it

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Speaker 3: obvious that she didn't forgive me. My husband had a

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Speaker 3: serious conversation with her about it, and she admitted that

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Speaker 3: she just doesn't like me and never has. I feel

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Speaker 3: like she's been waiting for ten years for me to

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Speaker 3: do something wrong and I finally did, and she's never

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Speaker 3: going to let it go.

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Speaker 1: Where do I go from here? What would Chelsea do?

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Speaker 4: Hillo?

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Speaker 2: Jemma and Cameron Hi, Okay, So, Jemma, what was the

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Speaker 2: last infraction that you apologized for where she kind of

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Speaker 2: got what she was looking for from your version of things.

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Speaker 5: So I didn't even know that I had done anything wrong.

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Speaker 5: This was news to me.

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Speaker 4: But I'm a very straightforward and blunt person, and if

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Speaker 4: my husband is irritating me, I'm going to tell him

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Speaker 4: that he's irritating me. And so it was I feel

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Speaker 4: like a situation like that, but it was just in

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Speaker 4: front of her and I had a little bit of

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Speaker 4: an attitude with him and she didn't like it, and

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Speaker 4: so I apologize. I was like, you're right, Like, if

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Speaker 4: I made you uncomfortable, I'm very sorry, Like I did

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Speaker 4: not mean to speak badly to my husband. I'll try

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Speaker 4: to be more aware of what I'm doing and saying

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Speaker 4: kind of thing, and I thought that everything.

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Speaker 5: Was good after that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, right, well it sounds like this has been like

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Speaker 2: an ongoing thing. Right, So she's touch and go hot

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Speaker 2: and cold. And then so Cameron, what was your conversation

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Speaker 2: with her after that?

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Speaker 6: After that? And it was my sister, Well, my mom

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Speaker 6: brought it to my attention.

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Speaker 1: First, and then you know in what way she was.

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Speaker 7: Just like, you know, your your sister's really uncomfortable with

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Speaker 7: basically how he retreated that weekend. She tends to blow

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Speaker 7: everything up like way out of proportion, Like I didn't

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Speaker 7: even think it was. I didn't realize there was a problem.

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Speaker 7: To be honest with you, nothing offended me, So I

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Speaker 7: don't know why she was so offended. She tends to

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Speaker 7: be a little bit overprotective of me, just given how

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Speaker 7: we grew up. You know, our my mom was a

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Speaker 7: flight attendant and there was it was really just her

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Speaker 7: and I around a lot. So she's pretty protective. But

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Speaker 7: it goes too far oftentimes. Yeah, and so it does

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Speaker 7: get frustrating, and I've had serious conversations with her about it,

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Speaker 7: but she seems just unwilling to change, and so it's

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Speaker 7: it's making it hard to have a relationship and I

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Speaker 7: get caught in the middle because I want to have

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Speaker 7: a relationship with her and we want our daughters to

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Speaker 7: have a relationship. But when she's not willing to forgive

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Speaker 7: or makes all these passive aggressive comments constantly, it just

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Speaker 7: makes it really hard.

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Speaker 1: And she told you in this last conversation that your

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Speaker 1: whole family doesn't like Gemma.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, which is not true. It's just her trying to

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Speaker 6: be hurtful.

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Speaker 2: Of course, it sounds very immature, like somebody who's very

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Speaker 2: I mean, it sounds like, first of.

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Speaker 1: All, it's her problem. A how old are your kids

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Speaker 1: now they're toddlers? Okay?

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Speaker 2: And do they have a relationship with each other, your

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Speaker 2: kids and your sister's kids.

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Speaker 5: I mean not at the moment because we don't see them.

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Speaker 6: We're not going to make an effort to visit.

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Speaker 1: Them, okay.

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Speaker 2: And what's your sister's husband's situation.

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Speaker 1: Does he just fall in line with what she thinks

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Speaker 1: or what's that?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, he stays out of it.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well, I think it's kind of going to require a

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Speaker 2: little bit of you guys being tough. You specifically Cameron,

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Speaker 2: because of your relationship with your sister, you really have

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Speaker 2: to kind of put your foot down and like lay

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Speaker 2: it out, like, Okay, I'm not leaving my wife. This

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Speaker 2: is my family. We have a child, So this is

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Speaker 2: the way it's going to be. If you don't want

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Speaker 2: to be in our lives, then that's something that we're

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Speaker 2: going to have to have a conversation about. Because I'm

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Speaker 2: not leaving my wife. I don't want to have to

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Speaker 2: choose between my sister and my wife. And I don't

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Speaker 2: think you want me to have to choose between my

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Speaker 2: sister and my wife either. So this seems more like

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Speaker 2: a you problem. Gemma doesn't have an issue with you.

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Speaker 2: She has been trying for.

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Speaker 1: Did you say ten years?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, ten years on and off, going in and out

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Speaker 2: of this relationship, kind of basically being manipulated by this woman.

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Speaker 2: When she feels friendly, she's friendly, and when she doesn't,

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Speaker 2: she's not.

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Speaker 1: Like it's not fair to you either, Gemma at all.

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Speaker 2: And you telling your husband that he's irritating you is

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Speaker 2: very healthy in my opinion, regardless of who it's in

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Speaker 2: front of, Like that is very hell rather than being

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Speaker 2: passive aggressive you know what I mean, that's very direct.

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Speaker 1: You're annoying me, please stop.

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Speaker 2: So I think that it's a matter, and I don't

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Speaker 2: think you should double team her in that sense, like

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Speaker 2: I think Jemma, you should just stay out of it.

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Speaker 2: You've tried hard enough. You have to kind of let

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Speaker 2: her do her thing, and you're not going to ingratiate

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Speaker 2: yourself towards her anymore.

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Speaker 1: You've done it, you've done it.

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Speaker 2: You've done it, you've done it, and now she wants

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Speaker 2: to come back and say, everyone in my family doesn't

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Speaker 2: like you. So that's her strikeout. She has struck out

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Speaker 2: with you guys as a couple. So I think Cameron,

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Speaker 2: it's really up to you to be like, listen, I've

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Speaker 2: done a lot of soul searching.

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Speaker 1: I've thought about this a lot.

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Speaker 2: I've talked you know, if you guys want to talk

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Speaker 2: to a professional therapist about it, you can.

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Speaker 1: But I would intimate that you have spoken to like an.

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Speaker 2: Outside party about it and be like, this is just

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Speaker 2: so immature.

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Speaker 1: We don't want to deal with this anymore.

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Speaker 2: We're trying to have a beautiful life and we want

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Speaker 2: you to be a part of that life. But if

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Speaker 2: you're going to tell me you don't like my wife

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Speaker 2: and that you can't make efforts, then I don't know

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Speaker 2: where we go from here.

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Speaker 1: You know, you kind of have to lay it on

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Speaker 1: the line that like she might lose you as a.

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Speaker 2: Brother, whether you know whether you mean it or not,

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Speaker 2: Like it is kind of something you have to think

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Speaker 2: about because and you both have young children that could

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Speaker 2: be like spending time together and hanging out together and

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Speaker 2: developing their cousinly bond. She's missing out on all of

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Speaker 2: these opportunities by holding on to something from ten years

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Speaker 2: ago or however long she doesn't like you.

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Speaker 1: It's just it's it's not relevant right now.

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Speaker 4: Thank you for validating that, because that's where I've been

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Speaker 4: at for a long time, where I'm like, I just

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Speaker 4: feel like I'm done, Like there's nothing else that I

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Speaker 4: can say or do, and I haven't wanted to put

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Speaker 4: him in the middle of it, but I also feel

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Speaker 4: like that's really the only solution at this point. And

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Speaker 4: I also just wonder, like what am I supposed to

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Speaker 4: do after the fact, you know what I mean, Like

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Speaker 4: how am I supposed to be into the same spaces

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Speaker 4: with this person? And am I supposed to just keep

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Speaker 4: eating shit and be friendly and pretend everything's all good?

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Speaker 5: Or should I just ignore?

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Speaker 4: Like I just don't know because I'm I know myself

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Speaker 4: and I'm just like I'm a girl's girl. Like once

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Speaker 4: we're sitting around drinking wine together, I'm gonna pretend that

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Speaker 4: it all never happened and just be cool about it again,

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Speaker 4: because I don't want to deal with drama, Like I.

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Speaker 5: Don't care about that.

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Speaker 4: So I feel like I never know how to address

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Speaker 4: it because it's hard to address.

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Speaker 5: A passive, aggressive person in the first one.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely, absolutely, because it's dishonest.

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Speaker 4: No, I can't have an honest conversation about it, and

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Speaker 4: that's where I just have to do it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, We've had this before with different callers where most

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Speaker 3: of the time, if it is your family member that's

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Speaker 3: kind of acting up toward your partner, it is sort

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Speaker 3: of like your role to go in. You understand the

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Speaker 3: family dynamic better because you grew up in it, and

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Speaker 3: like you, your family member will forgive a multitude of

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Speaker 3: quote unquote sins, where as they might not for your partner,

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Speaker 3: you know. So, Yeah, I do you think when that

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Speaker 3: next conversation happens, it's on you? And I think, like

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Speaker 3: Chelsea was saying, it's very immature, right, It's like I

256
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Speaker 3: feel like your sister's in time out right now, treater

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Speaker 3: like the toddler she's acting like. And then when it's

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Speaker 3: time to maybe come out of time out, you can

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Speaker 3: have that conversation.

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Speaker 1: We want you in our life.

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Speaker 3: But the boundary is you're not allowed to say mean

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Speaker 3: shit time wife.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you're not allowed to say mean shit or and

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Speaker 2: be passive aggressive to my wife. This is the partner

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Speaker 2: I've chosen. This is my wife. We're not getting a divorce.

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Speaker 2: I have a child with her. We are a family.

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Speaker 2: Do you want to be part of that or do

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Speaker 2: you not want to be part of that? This is

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Speaker 2: a choice on you. You get to decide. You're not

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Speaker 2: saying you're not excommunicating her, You're telling her to make

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Speaker 2: the decision. And when she does make the decision, these

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Speaker 2: are the boundaries that are now in place because of

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Speaker 2: her ongoing ten year behavior.

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Speaker 1: So it's now pathological.

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Speaker 2: She's done this over and over again and because she's

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Speaker 2: a baby, And you can have this in a conversation,

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Speaker 2: you could say it in an email. You know, you

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Speaker 2: don't have to do it immediately, but you do have

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Speaker 2: to stay up for Gemma. And in a way that's

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Speaker 2: like not threatening, but like we're just not interested in

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Speaker 2: communicating like this anymore and dealing with this. Well, we

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Speaker 2: don't want to have every family gathering Gemma leaving and

283
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Speaker 2: wondering what she did wrong or having to apologize for something.

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Speaker 2: I'm fine with the way she treats me. I love her,

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Speaker 2: I appreciate her directness. I don't see it the way

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Speaker 2: that you see it. I don't feel like I'm being

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Speaker 2: abused in my marriage, you know, all of those things,

288
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Speaker 2: like it's just silly, Like what's her endgame here to

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Speaker 2: get you guys to get divorced? You know you should

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Speaker 2: ask her that. Yeah, but you should ask her that. Cameron,

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Speaker 2: you should go, I'm sorry, what are you trying to do?

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Speaker 2: Do you think you're going to get me to get

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Speaker 2: to divorce? That's not going to happen. So there's either

294
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Speaker 2: you can move in to accept it. Maybe she should

295
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Speaker 2: talk to someone. I mean that usually sounds a little

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Speaker 2: bit patronizing when you tell someone to talk to someone,

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Speaker 2: But I think you can say that all without being patronized.

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Speaker 2: It just like we've kind of had enough, And I

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Speaker 2: also think it wouldn't be wrong to share it with

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Speaker 2: your family. This is how we're feeling, and it doesn't

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Speaker 2: feel good when we a family gathering, it doesn't feel

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Speaker 2: good like we're you know, and reminding them of your

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Speaker 2: togetherness so that they realize and then they can talk

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Speaker 2: amongst each other and be like, Okay, we're just gonna

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Speaker 2: have to do better, you know, hopefully is the outcome.

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Speaker 2: And I think with your parents' influence, if they're kind

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Speaker 2: of normal, are your parents pretty even keeled.

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Speaker 1: Or they cool? Are they going to side with her?

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Speaker 2: Like?

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Speaker 1: Is that what the mind is as well?

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Speaker 7: My mom probably will, but I mean she also listens

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Speaker 7: to me, so if I if I bring it to

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Speaker 7: her attention in a non emotional manner, I think that

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Speaker 7: she'll actually hear what I'm saying.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think maybe it's an email that you

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Speaker 2: or a conversation that you have with your mom and

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Speaker 2: your sister so that they have some that they can

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Speaker 2: have a conversation about it after and where they could

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Speaker 2: come to an agreement. You're not making my life easier.

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Speaker 2: You're making my life harder. Is that what you want? Like,

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Speaker 2: you're making my life more difficult because now I have

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Speaker 2: to think about.

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Speaker 1: Do I want to see you guys?

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Speaker 7: Like?

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Speaker 2: This is not fun. You guys are steering me away

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Speaker 2: from you.

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Speaker 1: You know what I mean. Don't put any of the

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Speaker 1: blame on her.

329
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Speaker 2: Put the blame on the people that are acting that

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Speaker 2: way towards her. Like, it's not their job to decide

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Speaker 2: whether or not you're being respected in your relationship. You're

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00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:13,840
Speaker 2: not being abused your child children, you're not in danger.

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Speaker 1: Your child is not in danger.

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Speaker 2: Someone's saying that you're annoying or you know the way,

335
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Speaker 2: get over it. I'm with her, like, yeah, it's not

336
00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:23,240
Speaker 2: a problem for you, So why is it a problem

337
00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:26,280
Speaker 2: for them? And lay it down so that they feel

338
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Speaker 2: like they have to make a decision about this and

339
00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:32,360
Speaker 2: like come together and end it in love, you know,

340
00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:35,200
Speaker 2: like I really love you, guys. I really hope that

341
00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:38,520
Speaker 2: this conversation will change the dynamic between us. And you

342
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:40,920
Speaker 2: can reiterate. She's just like take it or leave it.

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Speaker 2: She's like, I can see your family or not see

344
00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:44,760
Speaker 2: your face. It's you that has the problem with it,

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00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:46,720
Speaker 2: so that they can't pin anything more on her.

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Speaker 6: Yep, yeah, I agree.

347
00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:51,120
Speaker 5: I think that's great advice. Make him do all the work.

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00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:55,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I mean I have a situation like this

349
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Speaker 2: with my family, my sister in law. She's not passive aggressive,

350
00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:01,120
Speaker 2: but she's annoying. She's not passed aggressive, but her belief

351
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:01,720
Speaker 2: system is.

352
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Speaker 1: Not like my own. And I've come to the end

353
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Speaker 1: of my rope.

354
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:07,960
Speaker 2: I have extended my generosity, I have done everything that

355
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Speaker 2: I could to be a good sister in law and

356
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Speaker 2: I'm wrapped.

357
00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:11,480
Speaker 1: I'm done.

358
00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:14,800
Speaker 2: So like I I can relate to the situation. It's

359
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:18,640
Speaker 2: completely different circumstances. But yeah, it's not your problem. It's

360
00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:20,360
Speaker 2: not your family. You know what I mean. I mean

361
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:22,600
Speaker 2: it is your family, but it's not your family. You know,

362
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:24,680
Speaker 2: you married into this family. You don't deserve to be

363
00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:26,920
Speaker 2: treated that way, especially when you love your husband.

364
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Speaker 1: And especially when you are at the chill girl who's like,

365
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,600
Speaker 1: I'll just get over it. You don't, yes, exactly, like

366
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,280
Speaker 1: you can take this and move on. You don't need

367
00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:34,680
Speaker 1: to come to Jesus with them.

368
00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:37,960
Speaker 2: Just act normal and be normal and consistent, like not

369
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:41,560
Speaker 2: gotten cold. It's not fair. That's abusive. Being hot and

370
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:43,440
Speaker 2: cold is manipulative and abusive.

371
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Speaker 4: Yeah, so what do you do, Chelsea when you're around

372
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Speaker 4: your sister in law now?

373
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:52,320
Speaker 2: Because I ignore her, you ignore you ignore her. You

374
00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:54,760
Speaker 2: don't have to do anything, You don't have to play nice.

375
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:57,920
Speaker 2: You just she's in a room and you guys are

376
00:15:57,960 --> 00:15:58,800
Speaker 2: all in a conversation.

377
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Speaker 1: That's great.

378
00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:02,360
Speaker 2: You have to engage with her one on one. You

379
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:03,520
Speaker 2: don't have to do anything.

380
00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:05,880
Speaker 1: Don't go out of your way. You're done doing that.

381
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:08,880
Speaker 2: If she wants to come to you and actually make

382
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:12,760
Speaker 2: moves to be friendly and do, then great, reciprocate, but

383
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:15,760
Speaker 2: don't bend over backwards for her anymore. That's what she wants,

384
00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:17,600
Speaker 2: and she knows she's got the upper hand because she's

385
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:22,360
Speaker 2: the sister. Mm hmm, ok, agreed, So let her be

386
00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:24,840
Speaker 2: whatever she wants to be. You don't have to be

387
00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:27,880
Speaker 2: involved with her anymore until she comes around and has

388
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:31,800
Speaker 2: a more sensible intention with you. And actually, and as

389
00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:35,080
Speaker 2: sincere one, you know, anyone who gets offended by people

390
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:39,920
Speaker 2: who are direct are are They're not direct? No, it's

391
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:43,880
Speaker 2: just that's not a threat. That's actually a shortcut, you

392
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:46,400
Speaker 2: know what I mean. Being direct is a real shortcut

393
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:49,560
Speaker 2: in life. So anyone who's threatened by that is like, Okay,

394
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:50,920
Speaker 2: then you've got your own problems.

395
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:54,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I've always told myself that that I'm like,

396
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:54,920
Speaker 4: this is.

397
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:58,040
Speaker 5: Her own issue, it's not me. It's just a reflection

398
00:16:58,200 --> 00:16:59,760
Speaker 5: of God. You know all that.

399
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,800
Speaker 4: But my problem is that, like I said in the letter,

400
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:06,479
Speaker 4: like when she's being cool, she is really cool, But

401
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:09,040
Speaker 4: then stuff like this happens, and I'm like, were you

402
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:12,080
Speaker 4: just being fake that whole time? So you're saying like

403
00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:15,120
Speaker 4: if she's coming and being sincere, I'm like, I don't

404
00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:16,879
Speaker 4: know how to know when it.

405
00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:19,800
Speaker 2: But now you know, now you've had ten years of

406
00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:23,000
Speaker 2: data to explain, so that even when she comes around

407
00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:26,680
Speaker 2: and she is nice, you just stay five feet back.

408
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:27,840
Speaker 1: You don't have to be mean.

409
00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:31,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, that's great, and just see how consistent she

410
00:17:31,359 --> 00:17:34,280
Speaker 2: can be in that, you know, and then when she's

411
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,960
Speaker 2: earned your trust again and she's earned your respect, then

412
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:39,440
Speaker 2: I hope you guys do have a great relationship and

413
00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:40,719
Speaker 2: your kids grow up together.

414
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,920
Speaker 1: But she's got the work to do, not you.

415
00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:44,920
Speaker 2: Your husband is willing to come on here and sit

416
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:48,040
Speaker 2: here with you and be told that it's his problem now,

417
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:50,920
Speaker 2: So I mean that's a sign of a strong marriage.

418
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,400
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, perfect, that's what I like to hear.

419
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a good husband. Mm hmmm he is.

420
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,920
Speaker 3: Will you guys follow up with us when whenever the

421
00:18:00,119 --> 00:18:03,440
Speaker 3: next sort of iteration of this comes to fruition.

422
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:06,600
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, let us know how it goes, you guys. Yeah,

423
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,400
Speaker 1: that's a way easier way to say that. All right,

424
00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:11,760
Speaker 1: I had a great day you guys.

425
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:18,480
Speaker 2: Bye bye, Do do do do do? Drum roll Catherine

426
00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:21,440
Speaker 2: please Chelsea Handler Abroad.

427
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:25,560
Speaker 1: Abroad is my European tour. So I'm coming to.

428
00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:30,000
Speaker 2: Obviously find a husband abroad. I need to get the

429
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,280
Speaker 2: health out of this fucking country. And it's not as

430
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:36,480
Speaker 2: easy as you think. So I'm coming to Rekuvik, I'm

431
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:40,520
Speaker 2: coming to Dublin. I'm coming to the UK. I'm coming

432
00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:44,960
Speaker 2: to Brussels, Paris, Belfast in May and June. I'm coming

433
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:49,080
Speaker 2: to Oslo, Stockholm, to Copenhagen, Manchester, London.

434
00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:52,200
Speaker 1: Glasgow, New Zurich, Vienna.

435
00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:56,800
Speaker 2: I've never ever been to Vienna, Berlin, Barcelona and Lisbon.

436
00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:01,560
Speaker 1: I'm coming abroad is a that sounds like fun. I'm

437
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:02,560
Speaker 1: going to go see you abroad.

438
00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:05,080
Speaker 2: I know I want to go see me abroad, and

439
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:09,640
Speaker 2: there all be, there all be Upcoming Vegas dates March

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Speaker 2: twenty first, April eighteenth, July fifth, August thirtieth, November one

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Speaker 2: and twenty ninth at the Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas.

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Speaker 5: If you'd like advice from Chelsea.

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Speaker 3: Shoot us an email at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail

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Speaker 3: dot com and be sure to include your phone number.

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Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive

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Speaker 3: producer Catherine Law and be sure to check out our

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Speaker 3: merch at Chelseahandler dot com