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Speaker 1: Today. I afed up by going on a date on

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Speaker 1: an air force base with an ill behaved manchild. Okayop.

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Speaker 1: This happened in two thousand and eight. Shortly I got

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Speaker 1: Shortly after I got stationed in South Korea Republic of Korea. Officially,

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Speaker 1: I was a lowly private, albeit a reasonably attractive woman

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Speaker 1: in my early twenties. I was out one night with

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Speaker 1: some friends when a tall, funny, redhead guy who happened

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Speaker 1: to be one of my friend soldiers asked to take

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Speaker 1: me out to dinner. He had this long beard and

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Speaker 1: a black and red checkered flannel.

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Speaker 2: It was probably me. I was in two thousand and eight.

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Speaker 1: You weren't in two thousand. You got in two thousand

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Speaker 1: and seven.

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Speaker 2: I was. I was two thousand and seven to two thousand.

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Speaker 1: Interesting.

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Speaker 3: The timeline matches. The timeline matches, but.

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Speaker 2: I was not in career. I was not in Korea though.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, this tall, funny, redhead guy with a beard in

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Speaker 1: a black and red flannel, who happened to be one

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Speaker 1: of my friend's soldiers, asked to take me out to dinner.

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Speaker 1: The friend told me, hey, this is a bad idea,

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Speaker 1: and I asked why. But my friend wouldn't give me

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Speaker 1: any details. My exact My exact words were, what's the

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Speaker 1: worst that could happen? I get a free meal and

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Speaker 1: we don't click bing bang boom. As you may have guessed,

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Speaker 1: this was not, in fact the worst that could happen.

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Speaker 1: You don't say, I don't say I feel like going

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Speaker 1: on a date at a military base, Like is that?

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Speaker 1: Did you take girls on dates and at a military

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Speaker 1: base on base?

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Speaker 4: I mean I didn't like date on base, like I

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Speaker 4: actually lived off base.

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Speaker 2: But it's a fun. It's like, if you're a.

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Speaker 5: Military guy or or a woman or whatever, you can

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Speaker 5: you can have anyone comeing, like you can sponsor someone

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Speaker 5: on PA. But it's like a very odd feeling if

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Speaker 5: you're not. Apparently she was in the military, so she

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Speaker 5: gets it. You're just different branches, right, If she's a private,

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Speaker 5: she was in the Army.

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Speaker 2: She's on Air Force base. Probably run the same.

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Speaker 3: Makes sense.

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Speaker 6: I mean, you're already doing all this other stuff and

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Speaker 6: you can't date, you know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you got to date. The following evening, we were

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Speaker 1: supposed to meet at the taxi outside posts, but he

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Speaker 1: was late. He calls me to tell me he's at

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Speaker 1: the at m and asked if I have cash for

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Speaker 1: the taxi? Oh God, off to a great start?

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Speaker 2: Wow? Wow? Uh? I mean this is how dates start.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, what's the issue here?

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Speaker 2: I'm John Sam, like right.

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Speaker 1: Just kidding, I don't have the money for the uber

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Speaker 1: come on, get with it.

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Speaker 4: So my card's not working. I don't know if my

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Speaker 4: app's being weird.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, credit card?

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Speaker 1: Can you give your Social Security number?

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Speaker 2: You got one? Right?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? I asked a cash for taxi, not a great start?

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Speaker 1: Can and he asked me if I could spring the taxi? Well, okay, whatever.

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Speaker 1: He gets to the taxi stand and we asked the

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Speaker 1: Korean taxi driver in our mash of Korean and English,

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Speaker 1: to take us to the nearby Air Force base, which

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Speaker 1: houses the only Chili's on the peninsula. Which chili is

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Speaker 1: every great day starts Chilies.

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Speaker 6: Baby, we got we gotta locate that one, okay, Yeah,

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Speaker 6: the hot and spiciest dates.

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Speaker 3: We're on a vision for two for twenty guys.

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Speaker 5: There's a famous restaurant in Greenville, North Carolina. It's also

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Speaker 5: called Chili's. Go there every time I'm in Creaking Away

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Speaker 5: Restaurant Greenville.

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Speaker 1: Wait, wait, I think there's a really good restaurant in

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Speaker 1: La also called Chili's. It's weird, right, dude, it's so crazy,

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Speaker 1: all these like random chilies everywhere.

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Speaker 2: Guys, we're onto something, onto something.

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Speaker 1: Maybe we should start a chili.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we're gonna make our own.

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Speaker 6: Forget feastables, CHILII we're starting Chilisburg.

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Speaker 3: Get it out of a picture.

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Speaker 1: All right. So they asked to take us to the

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Speaker 1: nearby Air Force base has the chilies, and basically they

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Speaker 1: say something to the effect of, Okay, I'm gonna I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna start speaking some Korean right now. These say all

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Speaker 1: sun cadduis sale, which, sir, take us to Osan please

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Speaker 1: for all our Korean followers. How much did I butcher that?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we're going through the back roads. And I ask

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Speaker 1: what he thinks of Korea so far. He starts by

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Speaker 1: going off a rant about how these people don't even

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Speaker 1: speak English.

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Speaker 3: Gee, well, you're in Korea.

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Speaker 1: Come on, go on, it's not like you're in Korea town.

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Speaker 1: You're in like literal Korea. Even if you're in Korea town, like,

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Speaker 1: come on, yeah, speak Korean. He basically says, like, I

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Speaker 1: look at him as if he lost his mind. As

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Speaker 1: I open my mouth to speak. A little boy loses

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Speaker 1: his ball and runs into the street to get it.

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Speaker 1: This set red which I'm calling this guy I'm dating

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Speaker 1: off all over again talking about how these people have

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Speaker 1: no common sense and basically just goes off on this

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Speaker 1: racist diatrade. And so our lady op Is is just

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Speaker 1: not feeling this day, not.

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Speaker 6: Feeling it at all. No way we should be called

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Speaker 6: red flag. Yeah, red flag.

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Speaker 2: Baby, God bless her man.

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Speaker 1: When he finally takes a breath, I remind him that

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Speaker 1: we're in their country, not the other way around, and

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Speaker 1: that everyone's been really respectful. So I'm not sure what

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Speaker 1: his problem is in the first place. He gets mad,

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Speaker 1: puts on his headphones and doesn't say a word all

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Speaker 1: the way to Osan.

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Speaker 3: Wow. Headphones on the date, headphone.

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Speaker 1: That's how you know it's a bad date when you're

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Speaker 1: putting in headphones to block out the other person's talking.

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Speaker 2: Hey, you can't prepared, man.

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Speaker 6: Maybe maybe he's listening to like a relationship podcast and

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Speaker 6: trying to pick up some notes, some hot tips, you.

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Speaker 1: Know, daddy.

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Speaker 2: Podcast is okay. Day.

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Speaker 1: When we finally pull up to the Osan Air Force Base,

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Speaker 1: I lean forward to pay the driver and he says,

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Speaker 1: in perfect English with an American accent, thank you man,

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Speaker 1: that will be X amount of one, and I could

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Speaker 1: feel the blood rush to my face. Red does a

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Speaker 1: double take at this man's English and darts out of

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Speaker 1: the cab as quickly as you can. I apologize profusely,

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Speaker 1: and the driver reminds me he speaks English, tells me

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Speaker 1: he spent ten years in Chicago and that he knows

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Speaker 1: I wasn't the one being awful that my date was.

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Speaker 1: I tipped him as well as I could, thanked him

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Speaker 1: and apologize again. We have to take another shorter taxi

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Speaker 1: ride once on base to Chili's. Are the taxis on base?

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Speaker 2: Oh, Song's different. It's a very different base. It's not

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Speaker 2: like a stateside base. Yeah, I mean you don't like

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Speaker 2: no one has their own like vehicle.

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Speaker 5: Over there, like they would, like, say, if you were

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Speaker 5: stationed in like Texas or whatever.

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Speaker 1: Right, right, okay, so everyone, I need to get take

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Speaker 1: around Okay, it makes sense, makes sense. And the bases

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Speaker 1: are pretty big, so you would have to like drive

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Speaker 1: a vehicle through, right, Yeah.

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Speaker 5: Some of them have buses, some of them kind of

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Speaker 5: have like a cab or something like that.

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Speaker 1: Suck, So we have to take another shorter taxi ride

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Speaker 1: once in base to get to Chili's, and Red remained silent,

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Speaker 1: not surprisingly, And I paid for this one too, dude,

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Speaker 1: she's getting foot with the whole bill right as the

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Speaker 1: dead beat that as like, like, what what is this date?

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Speaker 1: Come on, you're making air Force money?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 1: Is the Air Force money? Good?

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Speaker 2: They all make the same.

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Speaker 5: Un it's all based on everyone thinks that, like the

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Speaker 5: different branches pay differently.

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Speaker 2: No, No, it's all like.

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Speaker 5: By rank if you're enlisted E three or officer oh two,

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Speaker 5: Like it's all the same.

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Speaker 3: How do they feel about negotiating?

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Speaker 2: There is none problem?

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Speaker 1: So Red is about six to two again, he's dressed

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Speaker 1: in his his uh red and and black. Yeah, you

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Speaker 1: know it's really cool our red and black flannel. Uh

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Speaker 1: comes with a base And how tall are you?

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Speaker 2: Like six six six to two? Wow?

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Speaker 5: Height?

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Speaker 1: That's so crazy?

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Speaker 3: Wow?

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Speaker 2: Six fix?

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Speaker 1: Okay, So he's, you know, at six two wearing his

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Speaker 1: red and black flannel. Decides to go to the restroom

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Speaker 1: as soon as we're seated, and then he comes back

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Speaker 1: immediately and loudly comments on how everyone is staring at him,

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Speaker 1: trying to lighten the mood. I say, it's strange, how

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Speaker 1: clear it is when guys are in the army and like,

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Speaker 1: which guys are in the Air Force? Is that true?

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Speaker 1: Like can you tell, like which guys are in the

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Speaker 1: Army which guy's in the Air Force?

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Speaker 5: I mean if they're in uniform, right, But if they're

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Speaker 5: not in uniform, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: It'd be tricky. It would be tricky.

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Speaker 5: They all have like the same like dress codes and

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Speaker 5: like like have to have things face can't have, like

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Speaker 5: hair touching her ears.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, a beard, blah blah blah.

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Speaker 1: So Op basically has a sixth sense for telling which

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Speaker 1: guy's in the army, apparently, and which guy's in the

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Speaker 1: Air Force apparently.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, apparently.

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Speaker 1: He asked how I can tell, which is almost funny

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Speaker 1: to me. And I use the phrase pretty boys to

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Speaker 1: describe the Air Force guys and say that soldiers all

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Speaker 1: look a little tougher.

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Speaker 5: That makes sense, I mean the Air Force thing that

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Speaker 5: everyone says, oh, chair force, like hardcore guys joined the

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Speaker 5: army and ship.

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Speaker 2: It's probably true.

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Speaker 1: Let me let me sit down for this one. Beautiful though, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you like beautiful, beautiful in those.

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Speaker 5: Chairs, very true, Verker, you're sitting that chair very well

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Speaker 5: that's right.

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Speaker 1: Well, mister air Force man does not take that kindly

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Speaker 1: and starts actually yelling, like literally yelling at me that

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Speaker 1: if I like Air Force guys so much, I should

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Speaker 1: go out with one of them. And I just stared

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Speaker 1: at him, basically, like she said, because I guess this. Wait,

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Speaker 1: I'm confused, because aren't they aren't at an air Force

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Speaker 1: base or but I guess he's just he's just regular

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Speaker 1: Army though. Yeah, is it all called air force base?

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Speaker 1: Are all branches?

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Speaker 5: You can have a you can have a bunch of

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Speaker 5: different branches on like a military base. Actually, the Air

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Speaker 5: Force is derived from the Army. It used to be

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Speaker 5: the Army Air Corps and the back in nineteen forty

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Speaker 5: seven they branched off.

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Speaker 1: So basically she's saying, like Air Force guys are prettier

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Speaker 1: and the Army guys are like rough and tumble, and

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Speaker 1: he is like, what the hell, I'm pretty too, I'm

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Speaker 1: I'm talking and best of both worlds. Yeah, and then

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Speaker 1: so basically he just starts yelling at her, and he,

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Speaker 1: like an op, just stares at him. So the server

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Speaker 1: comes and I asked for water. There's no way I

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Speaker 1: want to be drunk around this dude. He insists that

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Speaker 1: the margariteas are the only reason to come to Chili's

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Speaker 1: and orders the wrong He is not wrong.

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Speaker 3: They do be having good marguerite veals.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, go to Chili's.

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Speaker 5: You get the Cadillac margue and then they have like

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Speaker 5: those like you know, cookie ice cream things, you.

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Speaker 3: Know, Oh, the lava cakes.

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Speaker 2: Those, I mean those are pretty dope. Let's be straight up.

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Speaker 1: You can't beat it anyway. He insists on ordering the margaritas,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, Okay, I guess we'll let him do it.

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Speaker 1: The server is a young woman who looks at me nervously,

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Speaker 1: but I just nod to let her know it's fine.

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Speaker 1: I ordered a buffalo chicken salad and he orders two appetizers,

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Speaker 1: a beer and a steak. I had one sip of

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Speaker 1: the margarita and let him finish it on top of

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Speaker 1: the three or four beers he has. He snaps, the

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Speaker 1: server sends his food back. Just everything he could have

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Speaker 1: done to be a trash human being, he does. We

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Speaker 1: don't talk much. The server then brings the check and

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Speaker 1: he says to her, Okay, we'll split it down the middle.

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Speaker 1: Put it down the middle.

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Speaker 2: Like everything brilliant.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, she's brilliant.

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Speaker 3: Mind at work.

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Speaker 1: This is how you get partially free meals.

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Speaker 2: That's horrible.

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Speaker 6: I thought he was gonna say, all right, you can

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Speaker 6: take the whole thing, so now expectations.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: She looks at me in that again, and I take

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Speaker 1: the check from her. I'm totally done at this point,

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Speaker 1: so I say, if we're a going to split it,

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Speaker 1: let's split it. The beers are yours, The steak was yours,

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Speaker 1: the appetizers are yours. Technically the margarita's mind, even though

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Speaker 1: you drank it. But I'll take that in my salad,

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Speaker 1: and sir, you can pay for the rest. The server

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Speaker 1: is just standing there, awkwardly staring. As I finally raised

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Speaker 1: my voice at this jerk. He opens his mouth to

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Speaker 1: say something, and I snap, what did I miss something?

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Speaker 1: And I hand her cash and he hands her his card.

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Speaker 1: He didn't even tip, but I did. He was totally

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Speaker 1: silent the entire ride back, which of course I paid for.

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Speaker 1: I let my supervisors watch my friend who had warned

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Speaker 1: me know how it went down, and apologize for not

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Speaker 1: heating the warning somehow. At PT, what's.

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Speaker 2: PT physical training? Who you work out in the morning.

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Speaker 1: Right, So somehow at peet the next morning, Red had

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Speaker 1: showed up in the wrong uniform and was smoked quite severely.

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Speaker 1: But we never spoke again.

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Speaker 6: Girl, dude, I feel bad for the for the waiter.

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Speaker 6: Just imagine standing there and you're like, here's the bill

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Speaker 6: and she's like no, Yeah.

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Speaker 1: It's like when mom and dad are fighting and you're like,

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Speaker 1: I just want to play rough with.

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Speaker 4: The waiter is probably like, man, girl, what's your problem?

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Speaker 6: Like not knowing yeaded out of nowhere.

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Speaker 4: Like the last ten percent of the whole day, you

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Speaker 4: know exactly.

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Speaker 1: I got to get that.

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Speaker 6: She's like, man, poor guy, guy just just sitting there

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Speaker 6: eating steaks and five alcoholic drinks.

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Speaker 1: Five beers. Man's just trying to have a good time all.

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Speaker 3: Margarita's like, you know, the usual.

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Speaker 4: Just living his best life. You know we're gonna split this, right,

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Speaker 4: I know I ordered them.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna did so. You never had a date on base.

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Speaker 5: No, No, But I've been to Chili's a few times,

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Speaker 5: a classes establishment of a revenu to be honest.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I've heard The Office is like, uh, like the

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Speaker 1: first season, the Office is a walking ad for Chili's.

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Speaker 1: There's like multiple episodes saying how good Chilis is and

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Speaker 1: I still haven't gone wrong.

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Speaker 3: Maybe it was a secret integration.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I did secret brand. That's the ultimate brand brand

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Speaker 6: deal Bro, they did a whole.

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Speaker 2: Yeah I did that. I did that deal. Yeah, I

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Speaker 2: remember maybe back no dating.

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Speaker 5: The dating thing on basis is like I don't know,

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Speaker 5: I was like separation of like church and state.

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Speaker 2: Like I can see that like the military life.

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Speaker 5: Yeah right, but like when you live on base, you

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Speaker 5: have I guess no no option.

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Speaker 6: Right, Yeah, it's you're kind of in a rock and

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Speaker 6: a hard place. I feel like, because it's like, wow,

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Speaker 6: no dating for four years, but also like you.

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Speaker 1: Taking someone on the military base. It seems like because

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Speaker 1: you can.

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Speaker 2: Leave base, you can go off base, you can like

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Speaker 2: do whatever you want.

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Speaker 3: That sounds like the move.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, dude, I moved off base as soon as I could.

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Speaker 1: When are you allowed to move off base?

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Speaker 2: It depends.

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Speaker 5: It depends depends on like the base that you're at,

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Speaker 5: It depends how the dorm setup is for like young

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Speaker 5: airmen or young privates or whatever, what the availability is.

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Speaker 5: And then also when you progress in rank at a

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Speaker 5: certain rank, they let you live off base or there's

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Speaker 5: also on base military housing too.

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Speaker 1: Which my cousin is is. Well, my cousin just married

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Speaker 1: or just got engaged to a military man and he

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Speaker 1: is living on base. She lived on base with him

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Speaker 1: for like a little bit and then it was just

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Speaker 1: like I can't take it anymore, and then moved off base,

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Speaker 1: uh to Arizona.

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Speaker 5: I mean, it's why they made a TV show called

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Speaker 5: the Real Housewives or like the Army Army Wives or whatever, Like,

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Speaker 5: didn't they make a show like that?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 2: Please tell me you guys have heard fucking Army wives.

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Speaker 1: I've heard of Army wives. I haven't watched a thing.

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Speaker 4: It was like it was like the you know, like

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Speaker 4: the Hallmark channels.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Army wives.

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Speaker 1: Dude, I'm always watching the Hallmark Channel. Like catch me

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Speaker 1: on Friday night. You got I got my class wine.

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Speaker 4: Boom box wine, let's go wine.

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Speaker 6: Honestly, our Army Real Housewives of the Army Reacts channel

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Speaker 6: sounds like pretty good content.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, that's what we could definitely make that, Like

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Speaker 1: we'll have a little little little wine and dinner party

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Speaker 1: where we'll just record everything.

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Speaker 4: TV dinners, you know, micro that ship box.

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Speaker 2: Why let's go we have to eat.

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Speaker 3: An actual military meal.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I mean? Is that a military

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Speaker 1: meal box wine? Then? Oh yeah, the the.

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Speaker 2: You got to Mrs mri the best one.

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Speaker 5: The worst one is the the veggie omelet. If anyone

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Speaker 5: gets that, it's the first one. Everyone's trying to trade, right,

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Speaker 5: They're like, I want something different.

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Speaker 4: The best one I thought was the beef rib or

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Speaker 4: like the pork rib.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like weird barbecue sauce.

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Speaker 5: All of it tastes like shit, but like, if you're

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Speaker 5: going to eat something, have it tastes the least like shit.

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Speaker 2: That's there.

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Speaker 1: So how many calories are per like serving?

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Speaker 5: I mean probably in the thousands, right, It's like for

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Speaker 5: like field training, like pretend you don't eat that much

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Speaker 5: during the day. It's the one thing that like gets

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Speaker 5: you through the day.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, I think it's a wrap.

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Speaker 3: Baby, Yes, sir.

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Speaker 2: Cool