1 00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:04,160 Speaker 1: Welcome to the Tutor Dixon Podcast. I'm really excited about 2 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:06,840 Speaker 1: today because there's so much going on in the world. 3 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,600 Speaker 1: But one of the things that we see all the 4 00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:12,119 Speaker 1: time is people constantly out there selling themselves and this 5 00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:16,760 Speaker 1: idea of, you know, make yourself happy and put yourself first. 6 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:19,920 Speaker 1: And I think there's kind of this like almost faith 7 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,960 Speaker 1: battle right going on right now, because a lot of 8 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:24,919 Speaker 1: people will say faith is coming back, but faith is 9 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 1: not self focused. Faith is God focused, and society has 10 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:33,040 Speaker 1: become very self focused. And so I today have Rabbi 11 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:36,360 Speaker 1: Daniel Schoenbuck with me. He is a New York based 12 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:40,599 Speaker 1: license marriage and family therapist, psychologist and the author of 13 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:44,839 Speaker 1: five acclaimed books, including his latest, which is Victor Frankel 14 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,080 Speaker 1: The Psychology of the Soul. We have a lot to 15 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:49,800 Speaker 1: talk about, Rabbi, but I wanted to jump into this 16 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:54,200 Speaker 1: because I do think that people are facing this even 17 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:56,880 Speaker 1: in dating. I saw something today that said that because 18 00:00:56,920 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 1: of political differences, there could be like a a lack 19 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:04,480 Speaker 1: of even romantic relationships in gen x. I mean, it's 20 00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:07,120 Speaker 1: crazy that my feelings are so important now I can't 21 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:09,759 Speaker 1: even have a relationship. That's how society is going. 22 00:01:10,319 --> 00:01:12,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, there's two things facing America today in the world 23 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:16,560 Speaker 2: in general, I would say it's emptiness or meaninglessness, and 24 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,440 Speaker 2: then the phenomenon of narcissism. And people are very, very 25 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:23,080 Speaker 2: self focused, and that's really destroying people's relationships. You can't 26 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:25,759 Speaker 2: relate to another person if you're totally self focused. As 27 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:28,240 Speaker 2: you all know, marriage doesn't work unless you're able to 28 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:31,119 Speaker 2: go beyond yourself. And narcissism points in the opposite direction. 29 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:34,000 Speaker 1: Well, and that's what I think. That's kind of the 30 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:39,880 Speaker 1: battle between faith and culture. Is faith is very this 31 00:01:39,959 --> 00:01:43,000 Speaker 1: is you know, a relationship of three strands. It's going 32 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:45,000 Speaker 1: to be the husband, the wife, and God and you 33 00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:48,480 Speaker 1: have to be all together and family is also a 34 00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:50,880 Speaker 1: part of that strand and take care of one another. 35 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:54,680 Speaker 1: But culture is me, me me, and social media has 36 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:57,920 Speaker 1: really boosted this. And as a mom of four girls, 37 00:01:58,000 --> 00:01:59,920 Speaker 1: I watch this and I go, gosh, how do I 38 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:05,080 Speaker 1: protect them from becoming totally self absorbed? And that sounds crazy, 39 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:07,800 Speaker 1: but they are pushed to be self absorbed constantly. 40 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:11,120 Speaker 2: Well, you don't send them to therapist that practice Normative 41 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:14,280 Speaker 2: psychology today, which talks more and more about the self, 42 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:18,400 Speaker 2: self awareness, self esteem. I wrote a book about a 43 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:22,160 Speaker 2: fellow named doctor Victor Frankel, who's a Holocaust survivor. He said, 44 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:26,079 Speaker 2: you have to go beyond yourself to become a healthy individual. See, 45 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:29,160 Speaker 2: we want to teach our kids things about values, things 46 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:32,600 Speaker 2: about finding meaningful experiences. When you focus on values and 47 00:02:32,639 --> 00:02:35,280 Speaker 2: meaning in psychotherapy, as I do with my clients, people 48 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:38,280 Speaker 2: get better much more quickly and for longer periods of time. 49 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:40,640 Speaker 2: But it's not going in the direction of modern psychology 50 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:42,200 Speaker 2: that's pointing more towards the self. 51 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:45,480 Speaker 1: So okay, I really want to get into this because 52 00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:48,360 Speaker 1: how do you know what therapist you're getting, Because this 53 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:50,280 Speaker 1: has been a complaint of mind for years and it's 54 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:52,600 Speaker 1: kind of one of those silent complaints you have to have. 55 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:55,760 Speaker 1: I was a psychology major when I was in college. 56 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:59,200 Speaker 1: I was able to work at our psych clinic, and 57 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:02,160 Speaker 1: as a major, you could read all of the files 58 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:05,360 Speaker 1: as long as they weren't students or professors. And I 59 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:08,200 Speaker 1: read them and I was like, it's almost like they're staying. 60 00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:11,160 Speaker 1: You could read day one, you read day one thousand, 61 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:14,720 Speaker 1: and they're staying in this. You know, it's all about you, 62 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:17,040 Speaker 1: and you should feel sad and you should feel like 63 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:20,680 Speaker 1: this because life has been unfair to you, and it wasn't. 64 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:23,520 Speaker 1: It wasn't getting them out of that. But it's like 65 00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:25,960 Speaker 1: taboo to say that there are therapists out there that 66 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:26,919 Speaker 1: are not helping. 67 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:30,000 Speaker 2: There's a lot of unhealthy therapists out there. And don't 68 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:32,919 Speaker 2: think that the therapists have no bias. We all have bias. 69 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:36,120 Speaker 2: I mean I teach my graduate students to notice your bias, 70 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:38,440 Speaker 2: talk to yourself in therapy and don't respond to it. 71 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:39,600 Speaker 3: But so many. 72 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:42,200 Speaker 2: Therapists are so bias based today. I would say years ago, 73 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:44,600 Speaker 2: you can send your kid or yourself to any therapist 74 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:46,480 Speaker 2: out there, as long as they're well trained. I don't 75 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:49,360 Speaker 2: believe that anymore. Look at what's happening on college campuses today. 76 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:51,480 Speaker 2: Look at the things people are learning, look at the 77 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:53,600 Speaker 2: culture it's creating. Look at the violence that's creating on 78 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:55,720 Speaker 2: campuses on the streets today. So you have to be 79 00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:58,280 Speaker 2: very careful you want to go to a faith based 80 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:01,640 Speaker 2: or value based type of therapist today, because they will 81 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:03,200 Speaker 2: influence you to go in the wrong direction. 82 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:07,720 Speaker 1: So that is interesting because obviously we've seen this shift 83 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:11,520 Speaker 1: on college campuses and it's not even I've been I've 84 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:13,440 Speaker 1: had people who have studied it and you can correct 85 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:15,600 Speaker 1: me if I'm wrong. Who have said there is such 86 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:18,800 Speaker 1: a need for people to have something bigger than themselves 87 00:04:18,839 --> 00:04:21,880 Speaker 1: to be involved in that. That's easy to pull youth 88 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:25,440 Speaker 1: into a movement that they may not necessarily agree with, 89 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:28,920 Speaker 1: but you can manipulate them into believing you're so necessary 90 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,720 Speaker 1: in this movement that then it becomes a part of 91 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:34,360 Speaker 1: who they are, even though it may not have been 92 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:35,640 Speaker 1: something they cared about. 93 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:37,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, you got to. 94 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:39,400 Speaker 2: Tell your kids, you got to talk to them about values. 95 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:44,320 Speaker 2: Everything is about values. It's about courageousness, it's about honesty, 96 00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:48,440 Speaker 2: it's about citizenship, and they shouldn't be sold false laws. 97 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,280 Speaker 2: We have a guy here in New York called Mamdani's 98 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:53,800 Speaker 2: or Mamdani running for mayor. He's offering everything for free. 99 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:58,080 Speaker 2: He's talking about free buses, free rent, stabilized stopping. 100 00:04:58,279 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 1: You know, I believe he's living in one of them, 101 00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:01,039 Speaker 1: even though he's. 102 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:03,360 Speaker 3: Not perfect example, per the example. 103 00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:05,920 Speaker 2: So we don't want to focus on those things, see 104 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:09,120 Speaker 2: the means of production. We want to focus on values 105 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:12,200 Speaker 2: with our families. We want to focus on God. We 106 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:15,000 Speaker 2: want to focus on spirituality. I have the science for it. 107 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:18,760 Speaker 2: People that are God focused, people that focus on values 108 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:24,400 Speaker 2: are basically healthier and happier people, less depression, less anxiety, 109 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:27,159 Speaker 2: and even less PTSD. I mean, if you have trauma 110 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:29,960 Speaker 2: in your life, if you have relationship with God, you're 111 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:33,440 Speaker 2: going to recover more quickly. You have those great internal resources. 112 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:35,120 Speaker 2: We have to share these things with our kids. They 113 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:37,760 Speaker 2: have to know the dangers of being totally self focused 114 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:39,240 Speaker 2: and what's happening in society. 115 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:39,479 Speaker 3: Today as well. 116 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,440 Speaker 1: You know, it's interesting because when we lost my dad, 117 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:44,719 Speaker 1: that was kind of what we all said, if we 118 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:48,080 Speaker 1: didn't have faith, where would we be? Because he was 119 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:50,960 Speaker 1: the leader, he was the we turned to him, but 120 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:54,480 Speaker 1: ultimately we put our faith in God. You know, even 121 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:58,320 Speaker 1: though you rely on the patriarch of your family, you 122 00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:00,719 Speaker 1: know that there is something bigger and if you don't 123 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:03,880 Speaker 1: have that, losing him could have been a total disaster 124 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:07,360 Speaker 1: for us. And I think that's what we're seeing is 125 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:12,640 Speaker 1: as a broken society. And even if you can't find, 126 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:16,599 Speaker 1: if you can't find where your values are, it just 127 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:21,159 Speaker 1: seems like you're just so susceptible to being pushed into something. 128 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:24,320 Speaker 1: I mean, even I would say even with the trans movement, 129 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:29,080 Speaker 1: these young kids who are struggling in school are very 130 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,320 Speaker 1: vulnerable and I've seen I mean having a sixteen year 131 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:33,600 Speaker 1: old daughter, we see this and I see this with 132 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:36,800 Speaker 1: my nieces and nephews too. Is that you're at such 133 00:06:36,839 --> 00:06:40,200 Speaker 1: a vulnerable age. Let's be honest, high school and the 134 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:43,400 Speaker 1: changing of hormones. It's not easy for anybody. But it 135 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:45,840 Speaker 1: seems like if you don't have that, if you're not 136 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:48,680 Speaker 1: there with your kids talking to them and asking them 137 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:52,920 Speaker 1: to share everything with you, they could be manipulated by 138 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:56,040 Speaker 1: someone outside saying the reason you're upset is because of this. 139 00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:59,080 Speaker 2: Very easily if you're not talking to your kids about 140 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:02,480 Speaker 2: values or go ahead and just do more meaningful things 141 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:05,919 Speaker 2: with your kids. Volunteer with your kids, take your kids 142 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,480 Speaker 2: on hikes into nature, go look up at the stars 143 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:11,320 Speaker 2: and the seas and the sun, and just basking the 144 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:13,600 Speaker 2: glory of God what he created in the world. If 145 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,520 Speaker 2: you're not doing that, the iPhone will do that for you. 146 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:18,800 Speaker 2: And TikTok for sure is going to do that for you. 147 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:21,680 Speaker 2: So it's not there's no middle ground anymore. It's kind 148 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:24,280 Speaker 2: of either or. Either you're focused on the body and 149 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:26,840 Speaker 2: the self, or you're focused on the soul and things 150 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:29,680 Speaker 2: beyond the cell. There's no middle ground anymore, we have 151 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:32,000 Speaker 2: to point our kids, and as sapist, point our clients 152 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:32,680 Speaker 2: in the right direction. 153 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:35,679 Speaker 1: So let me have like a moment of confession, because 154 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:38,600 Speaker 1: I've obviously been in the political world for the last 155 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:41,080 Speaker 1: couple of years and I ran for office, and running 156 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:44,280 Speaker 1: for office is so you're gone all the time, and 157 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,440 Speaker 1: we had put off some of those family times. You know, 158 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:50,200 Speaker 1: it's like, Okay, we'll have a vacation next year. And 159 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,120 Speaker 1: even when I went on spring break, I would have 160 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:55,760 Speaker 1: to go out and we would go to Florida visit 161 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,000 Speaker 1: my parents. But it's like, oh, you got to meet 162 00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,920 Speaker 1: with somebody for dinner here, You're in Florida. See I 163 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:02,800 Speaker 1: to meet with somebody there. And I was taking time away. 164 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:05,080 Speaker 1: And just this past week, you're catching me at an 165 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:08,440 Speaker 1: interesting moment because just this past week, we drove down 166 00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:11,360 Speaker 1: to Hiltonhead Island spend a week there. So we're in 167 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,760 Speaker 1: the car for sixteen hours on the way there. On 168 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:16,440 Speaker 1: the way back, and last night, when I was putting 169 00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:20,080 Speaker 1: my girls to bed, one of them said, man, Mom, 170 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:22,960 Speaker 1: it was just so nice to be fully away with 171 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,120 Speaker 1: you because I felt like I got to just sit 172 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,760 Speaker 1: and talk to you for hours, and it was so 173 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:31,760 Speaker 1: important to me, and I thought, this is something we 174 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:34,960 Speaker 1: don't talk about. We do not say enough. Put you 175 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:37,600 Speaker 1: have eighteen years with these kids, if you're lucky, once 176 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:40,760 Speaker 1: they're sixteen, they've got their own lives. Put that time 177 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:44,440 Speaker 1: aside to spend with them and pour into them. 178 00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:47,959 Speaker 2: Yeah, there's nothing as satisfying as a real human relationship 179 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:49,760 Speaker 2: many of us as parents, and I also have a 180 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:53,880 Speaker 2: lot of kids who raised kids on television, on their iPads, 181 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:57,680 Speaker 2: on all their devices, but they really are craving is real, 182 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:00,240 Speaker 2: authentic relationships with their parents. And it doesn't take a 183 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:02,160 Speaker 2: lot of time to door. You could go ahead and 184 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:05,520 Speaker 2: spend just five minutes a day, five minutes a day 185 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:08,160 Speaker 2: talking to your kids. You know what, beter than talking 186 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:11,120 Speaker 2: to your kids, just listen to your kids. They won't 187 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:12,000 Speaker 2: want to speak to us. 188 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:13,120 Speaker 3: We just listen. 189 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:16,520 Speaker 2: We call this validating or active listening in psychotherapy. That's 190 00:09:16,559 --> 00:09:19,400 Speaker 2: the best advice I give for parents all the time. 191 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:22,000 Speaker 2: Just spend more time listening to him. The more you 192 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:25,520 Speaker 2: put into them, It's like investing in an emotional savings account. 193 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:27,400 Speaker 2: We know when you save money. If you put money 194 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:28,959 Speaker 2: away every day, you can take it out in a 195 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:31,920 Speaker 2: rainy day. Well, on an emotional level, kids look at 196 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:34,600 Speaker 2: an investment in the relationship when you talk to them, 197 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:37,200 Speaker 2: when you connect them. You don't have to buy them things. 198 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:39,320 Speaker 2: Just spend quality time listening to them. 199 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:39,960 Speaker 3: They'll love you. 200 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:41,840 Speaker 2: And by the way, when you do that, the more 201 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:43,440 Speaker 2: app to listen to your values as well. 202 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:46,120 Speaker 1: It's interesting because it's been something that we've really been 203 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:50,360 Speaker 1: focused on with our kids lately, is learning what makes 204 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:53,600 Speaker 1: them tick. You know what my one daughter is. She 205 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:56,360 Speaker 1: loves books. She'll sit and read, She'll consume two or 206 00:09:56,360 --> 00:10:00,160 Speaker 1: three books a week, and she's not incredibly social, but 207 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:02,040 Speaker 1: she wants to have somebody that will talk to her. 208 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:05,120 Speaker 1: My other daughter is like a complete cuddle bug, wants 209 00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:08,760 Speaker 1: to constantly be in your face, like arms around your neck. 210 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:12,040 Speaker 1: The other one is a social butterfly. And as I'm 211 00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:15,720 Speaker 1: watching them and they're telling me what they need, I've 212 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:18,000 Speaker 1: been trying to kind of put that aside and then 213 00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:21,080 Speaker 1: sit them down and say, look, as a person, I 214 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:25,000 Speaker 1: notice about you that you love to be snugly, you 215 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:27,640 Speaker 1: love to be able to tell your stories, you love 216 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:30,480 Speaker 1: to have words of affirmation, all these things. When you're 217 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:33,880 Speaker 1: looking for a spouse, look for the person who's going 218 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:36,360 Speaker 1: to fill those buckets and find out what they what 219 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:39,000 Speaker 1: buckets they need filled. You know, I think it's a 220 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:42,360 Speaker 1: it's a conversation that had I've talked to my friends 221 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:45,719 Speaker 1: there hasn't been a discussion in their lives with their 222 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:48,560 Speaker 1: parents about how do you find the right spouse. And 223 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:51,679 Speaker 1: that's something that I think is also key. Watching who 224 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:55,800 Speaker 1: your kids are and helping them discover what's important to them. 225 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:58,200 Speaker 1: To find in that other person that they're going to 226 00:10:58,200 --> 00:10:59,160 Speaker 1: spend their life. 227 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:01,960 Speaker 2: With, whether it's talking to them about who they are 228 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,920 Speaker 2: or getting involved in a relationship. It's all about values. 229 00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:08,480 Speaker 2: It's all about values. It's all about empathy, it's all 230 00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:10,680 Speaker 2: about connection. So those are the two potent things you 231 00:11:10,679 --> 00:11:12,680 Speaker 2: can do. You can spend more time with them, and 232 00:11:12,679 --> 00:11:15,120 Speaker 2: then you pivot to your value system. I'm not talking 233 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:17,920 Speaker 2: about lecturing your kids about your values. They feel who 234 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:20,600 Speaker 2: we are. When we're present with them, they pick up 235 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,960 Speaker 2: on the great values. If you're running for the Republican Party, 236 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,760 Speaker 2: they pick up on those wonderful values. So just keep 237 00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:27,880 Speaker 2: on doing what you're doing. Just make sure that you're 238 00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:31,000 Speaker 2: spending time connecting with them, that they're not forgotten. They 239 00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:33,480 Speaker 2: won't accept your values if they're forgotten. The more they're 240 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:35,680 Speaker 2: in the picture, they want to connect with you because 241 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:38,080 Speaker 2: they love you for listening to them and connecting with them. 242 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:40,920 Speaker 1: So you've also done speaking of that, you've also done 243 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:44,320 Speaker 1: some work on Trump derangement syndrome, and that is something 244 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:47,719 Speaker 1: as we were driving down we were looking at universities. 245 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:50,360 Speaker 1: My daughter's going to be a junior, and we're looking 246 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:53,280 Speaker 1: at bigger universities, and I was talking to them about, 247 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:55,160 Speaker 1: you know, there's going to be a lot of different 248 00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:58,520 Speaker 1: values that you're going to see there. You are going 249 00:11:58,559 --> 00:12:01,280 Speaker 1: to have to stay strong who you are and your faith, 250 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:03,720 Speaker 1: and you have to find a church community, and you'll 251 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:05,800 Speaker 1: need to get involved to make sure that you have 252 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:08,960 Speaker 1: like minded people around you. But how do you do 253 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:13,120 Speaker 1: that when the message against the Republican Party and those 254 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,719 Speaker 1: values is so strong on university campuses. 255 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:19,520 Speaker 2: There's a war on our campuses. We saw it explode 256 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:23,160 Speaker 2: on October seventh when Lamas attacked in southern Israel, murdered 257 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:26,000 Speaker 2: twelve hundred people, too captive, two hundred fifty people, wounded, 258 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:30,240 Speaker 2: thousands of people. On October eighth, it exploded on our campuses. 259 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:33,920 Speaker 2: Remember the campus administrations from a river to the sea, 260 00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:38,920 Speaker 2: seeing out globalizing defada, Tutor, it's all over our campuses today. 261 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:41,440 Speaker 2: We're in trouble on the campus life. But it's not 262 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:43,880 Speaker 2: just didn't just happen October seventh and eighth, It's been 263 00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:47,080 Speaker 2: going on for years. Probably eighty to ninety percent of 264 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:51,800 Speaker 2: college campuses or liberals, they're socialists, many of them are communists. Inevitably, 265 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:54,680 Speaker 2: if we send our kids into those campuses, our kids 266 00:12:54,679 --> 00:12:56,800 Speaker 2: are affected by them. If your programmed for years, like 267 00:12:56,920 --> 00:13:00,920 Speaker 2: Zormamdani for many years as father's father's a Marxist professor 268 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:04,480 Speaker 2: at Columbia, and that's all you hear sees the means 269 00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:08,319 Speaker 2: of production, globalizing defada, It's hard to escape it. When 270 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:10,800 Speaker 2: you go to a college campus, everybody's rallying against Israel. 271 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:13,520 Speaker 2: People are bought into. You got to choose very wisely, 272 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:15,240 Speaker 2: very carefully, where you send your kids to because it 273 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:16,200 Speaker 2: will affect who they are. 274 00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:19,120 Speaker 1: Let's take a quick commercial break. We'll continue next on 275 00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:25,360 Speaker 1: a Tutor Dixon podcast. How did the media get to 276 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:27,520 Speaker 1: this point where, I mean, even when I see people 277 00:13:27,559 --> 00:13:31,959 Speaker 1: interviewing him and saying, but you have to condemn the Antifada, 278 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:36,200 Speaker 1: you can't. You have to condemn that word globalize the Antifada. 279 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:40,880 Speaker 1: It's not it's not a concept. It's happened. We have 280 00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:46,240 Speaker 1: images from the Intifada. This is not an idea. We 281 00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:49,520 Speaker 1: know what this is. This is this is genocide. And 282 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:53,000 Speaker 1: yet he will not say he condemns it. He said, 283 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,680 Speaker 1: in fact, recently he came out and he said, I 284 00:13:55,679 --> 00:13:58,440 Speaker 1: think there are different interpretations of it. Again, it's not 285 00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:02,920 Speaker 1: a concept, it has happened. How does the media let 286 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,160 Speaker 1: him get away with that? And how is it that 287 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,760 Speaker 1: we as a society have not said, wow, we really 288 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:10,840 Speaker 1: have to educate people on what the Intefada is and 289 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:12,360 Speaker 1: what he is accepting. 290 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:15,640 Speaker 2: Well, first of all, Tutor, the reason he doesn't condemn 291 00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:19,360 Speaker 2: the phrase globalizing defada is because he wants to globalize 292 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:22,880 Speaker 2: the Intafada. He is connected with the Democratic Socialist of 293 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:26,000 Speaker 2: America and the Communist Party on the one hand, and 294 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:29,720 Speaker 2: the other side he espouses Islamic fundamentalism. This is the 295 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:32,520 Speaker 2: Red Green alliance that's happening. It's happening in our canvases 296 00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:35,360 Speaker 2: right now. So he actually believes in it. So therefore, 297 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:38,360 Speaker 2: how can you condemn it. The media is just complicit, 298 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:42,040 Speaker 2: like they rail against the Republican Party, railed against you 299 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:44,920 Speaker 2: per apps like they railed against Donald Trump. They're doing 300 00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:46,840 Speaker 2: it to Israel, they're doing it to the Jews. And 301 00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:48,440 Speaker 2: that's what we have to get together right now and 302 00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:51,080 Speaker 2: uncover the media. That's why podcasting like you're doing and 303 00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:53,680 Speaker 2: I'm trying to do, is just so incredibly important. It's 304 00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:57,600 Speaker 2: the last freedom space in America for free media is 305 00:14:57,680 --> 00:14:59,120 Speaker 2: to go into a podcast and talk. 306 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:00,440 Speaker 3: That's why it's so pop today. 307 00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:02,760 Speaker 2: We just got to keep on talking as loudly as 308 00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:05,320 Speaker 2: we can, as many occasions as we can to fight 309 00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:09,360 Speaker 2: back all the laws from CNN, left wing media and 310 00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:11,560 Speaker 2: perpetuating what they've been saying for years. But now we 311 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:13,400 Speaker 2: see the violence on our streets, we know how dangerous 312 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:14,000 Speaker 2: it actually is. 313 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:16,920 Speaker 1: Well, but let me ask you about You mentioned that 314 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:22,800 Speaker 1: he espouses the Islamic fundamentalist values, but he also is 315 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:29,160 Speaker 1: out there marching with the LGBTQ community, and so there 316 00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:33,360 Speaker 1: is contrast in that messaging. And so when you say 317 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:37,800 Speaker 1: that about Islamic fundamentalism, what do you what exactly are 318 00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:38,680 Speaker 1: you referring. 319 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:42,520 Speaker 2: To Referring to that Red Green Alliance. The Red Green 320 00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:45,800 Speaker 2: Alliance is the far left Democratic Socials So America Communist 321 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:48,800 Speaker 2: Party of America together with Islamic fundamentals. Why would they 322 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:54,600 Speaker 2: be together. Why would somebody who's LGBTQ support Kamas, which 323 00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:58,240 Speaker 2: those people off buildings were homosexuals, right, they must be braining. 324 00:15:58,400 --> 00:15:58,720 Speaker 2: I don't know. 325 00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:00,640 Speaker 1: I think this is a question, and we've had for 326 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:02,320 Speaker 1: a long time. Do you have the answer that? 327 00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:05,680 Speaker 3: Because the answer the answer because they have a greater enemy, 328 00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:08,080 Speaker 3: and that's the West. 329 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:10,280 Speaker 1: My enemy is my friend. 330 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:14,840 Speaker 2: Exactly well said, they are going after Judeo Christian civilization. 331 00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:18,960 Speaker 2: Communism ultimately is based upon jealousy. Islam is based upon control. 332 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:22,240 Speaker 2: They want to take America down. It's the most prosperous, 333 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:27,720 Speaker 2: most wonderful, freest country and human history. They're jealous of it. 334 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:29,840 Speaker 2: They want to take it down. This is the way 335 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:33,640 Speaker 2: to do it. Destroy the families, destroy sexual identity. 336 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:34,920 Speaker 3: We don't know who we are anymore. 337 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:40,360 Speaker 2: Espouse the destruction of Israel. Take everything down, Defund the police, 338 00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:43,160 Speaker 2: that's a great one. Get rid of our security. Then 339 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:46,080 Speaker 2: they can take full control of society. So we've talked 340 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:49,880 Speaker 2: about this for years. Unfortunately, people think we were conspiracy theorists. 341 00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:52,720 Speaker 2: You know, it's not true. It's happening in real time. 342 00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:55,240 Speaker 2: If we don't stop Mamdani. Right now, if New York 343 00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:57,960 Speaker 2: goes away with mam Dami, we're looking at a domino 344 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,560 Speaker 2: effect because New York is the icon of read them, 345 00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:04,600 Speaker 2: it's the icon of culture. It's finance on the democracy, 346 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:09,240 Speaker 2: finance of finance of free speech, of everything, of capitalism. 347 00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:12,640 Speaker 2: If they take down with the democratic socialis in America meanings, 348 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:18,440 Speaker 2: that's to leave, that's Ilhan Omar, that's Elizabeth Horn. If 349 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:21,159 Speaker 2: they take New York, the whole country could collapse in 350 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:21,960 Speaker 2: a domino effect. 351 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,320 Speaker 1: So as we've been watching this, I mean I want 352 00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:27,199 Speaker 1: to you talked about defund the police. I want to 353 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:30,119 Speaker 1: bring that up because we're right now seeing Donald Trump 354 00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:32,119 Speaker 1: come out and say he is going to take over 355 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:36,800 Speaker 1: the public safety in DC and the Capital City because 356 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:39,800 Speaker 1: we've obviously seen all of these murders and just another 357 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:42,680 Speaker 1: murder this week, which I think is devastating. He comes 358 00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:45,680 Speaker 1: out and says this, and a few hours later someone's murder. 359 00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:50,719 Speaker 1: But these are this is not I think that Democrats 360 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:53,760 Speaker 1: have turned their back on communities where they go, oh, 361 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:57,040 Speaker 1: you know what, that's a high crime community. We're not 362 00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:59,879 Speaker 1: going to look at it anymore. And now it's seeping 363 00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:03,040 Speaker 1: out into communities where they can't hide it, and it 364 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:06,240 Speaker 1: shouldn't be hidden in the other communities, but they allow 365 00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:09,080 Speaker 1: it to be hidden. Their media doesn't talk about these 366 00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,800 Speaker 1: crimes that happen when it comes out of a high 367 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:15,960 Speaker 1: crime community. But now you see the two staffers of 368 00:18:16,119 --> 00:18:19,320 Speaker 1: a foreign diplomat murdered on the streets of our capital 369 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:22,720 Speaker 1: and that blows my mind because the media didn't say anything. 370 00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:25,520 Speaker 1: There wasn't this major outrage. Oh my gosh, how could 371 00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:28,520 Speaker 1: this have happened in our capital city. You see an 372 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:32,680 Speaker 1: intern for a congressman murdered on the streets of Washington, 373 00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:34,960 Speaker 1: d c. Because he was hit by a stray bullet 374 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,760 Speaker 1: last night. You've got somebody murdered. You have this kid 375 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:41,000 Speaker 1: that worked in the administration, this doge kid that gets 376 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,480 Speaker 1: beaten up because he's trying to protect a woman that 377 00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:46,600 Speaker 1: he sees being beaten up. This is our capital city. 378 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:49,760 Speaker 1: This is the first time I've heard defund the police 379 00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:52,639 Speaker 1: for years. But now I'm seeing Democrats come out and 380 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:55,800 Speaker 1: openly say we are okay with this crime. Why are 381 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:56,679 Speaker 1: you trying to stop it? 382 00:18:56,960 --> 00:19:00,320 Speaker 2: What is that? The exact same problem in New York Now, 383 00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,600 Speaker 2: I mean, this is a dangerous city. Go out of 384 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:07,520 Speaker 2: my home. There's hundreds of people walking round, are ill, violent, destructive. 385 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:11,000 Speaker 2: The New York City subway system. By the way, Mamdanie 386 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,760 Speaker 2: was in a New York assembly man. They control the 387 00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:15,840 Speaker 2: state in New York, controls the subways. It's his disaster. 388 00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:18,080 Speaker 2: He was already in charge of it. It's a disaster. 389 00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:21,439 Speaker 2: I've not been in the subway for years. It is 390 00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:23,919 Speaker 2: so dangerous. There are sick people. You remember the stories. 391 00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:26,240 Speaker 2: Look last year or somebody was set on fire. They 392 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:29,639 Speaker 2: are dangerous, very ill people walking around. And the New 393 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:32,480 Speaker 2: York City legislation as well, they wanted to defund the police. 394 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,720 Speaker 2: They want cashless bail. Therefore they have very much. And 395 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,720 Speaker 2: then when constructive people around. 396 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:41,960 Speaker 1: When Adams, when Mayor Adams put police officers into the subway, 397 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:44,440 Speaker 1: then people went crazy about that. Oh we don't want 398 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:47,000 Speaker 1: to be ruled by these police. But I feel the same. 399 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:49,639 Speaker 1: I lived in New York in nineteen ninety nine and 400 00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:53,080 Speaker 1: two thousand and I rode the subway everywhere. I never 401 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:56,359 Speaker 1: never even thought about it, never felt unsafe. Today I 402 00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:58,040 Speaker 1: go there, no way, I would never go there. I 403 00:19:58,080 --> 00:19:59,200 Speaker 1: would never go to the subway. 404 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,920 Speaker 2: Happened there was a mass shooting here two weeks ago, 405 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,120 Speaker 2: and people don't talk about it. Why are they coming here? 406 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:08,000 Speaker 2: You can kill anybody anywhere. It's coming to New York City. 407 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:12,480 Speaker 2: It represents it the icon of American exceptionalism, of capitalism, 408 00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:15,639 Speaker 2: of democracy. They want to take it down, the whole system, 409 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:17,440 Speaker 2: the left system wants to take it all down because 410 00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:18,320 Speaker 2: they're jealous of it. 411 00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:19,800 Speaker 3: And one of the ways they do that is by 412 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:20,640 Speaker 3: creating chaos. 413 00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:23,720 Speaker 1: Think about how bizarre that is, though, now that you 414 00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:26,359 Speaker 1: mention it. You had a guy walk through the streets 415 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:28,520 Speaker 1: with what was it in ak forty seven? 416 00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:30,640 Speaker 3: Forty seven? It looked like, yeah, no. 417 00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:33,560 Speaker 1: One says anything. How is that possible? 418 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:36,840 Speaker 3: No, it's really crazy. 419 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:38,720 Speaker 2: And if you thought it was bad when you were 420 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:41,439 Speaker 2: here few years ago, you hadn't You hadn't seen nothing yet. 421 00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:44,720 Speaker 2: If Momdammie gets in power and actually carries out what 422 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:47,120 Speaker 2: he said several times, he's a bit wishy watching now 423 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:50,800 Speaker 2: for votes, but he said many times, defund the police 424 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:52,680 Speaker 2: and take his word seriously. 425 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:53,840 Speaker 3: He means he. 426 00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:56,160 Speaker 2: Wants to put in social workers to go in homes 427 00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:58,680 Speaker 2: for his domestic violence. He's not going to protect women. 428 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:02,200 Speaker 2: Women will be the first victims of zarmmmdani because he 429 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:04,280 Speaker 2: doesn't want police to go and he wants social workers 430 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:06,800 Speaker 2: to go in. Even Eric Adams was saying one of 431 00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:08,720 Speaker 2: the most dangerous calls he was a chief of police 432 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:09,200 Speaker 2: years ago. 433 00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:10,000 Speaker 3: One of the most. 434 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:13,040 Speaker 2: Dangerous calls a policemen can get is a domestic violence 435 00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,400 Speaker 2: case where he's going into a house. Mam Donnie is saying, 436 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,960 Speaker 2: let's send in social workers your MSW's what social will 437 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:20,879 Speaker 2: go in with. A guy has a gun or a 438 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,080 Speaker 2: machete is going to kill them. This is a very 439 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:26,560 Speaker 2: dangerous situation. It's no joke. We saw it with BLM 440 00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:29,560 Speaker 2: years ago. We're seeing it again right now. Defund the 441 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:31,480 Speaker 2: police is a way to take down the Western world, 442 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:33,000 Speaker 2: and they actually want to do it to us. 443 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:35,240 Speaker 1: So would you say in that situation, I mean, you're 444 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:37,320 Speaker 1: kind of looking at a crime of passion right when 445 00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:41,119 Speaker 1: you have a domestic violent situation, so anything can happen, 446 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,760 Speaker 1: anything can escalate. Would that be one of the more 447 00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:47,200 Speaker 1: dangerous situations to walk into and hear they're saying no cops. 448 00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:51,240 Speaker 2: It is definitely one of the most dangerous situations you 449 00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:54,040 Speaker 2: could ever imagine walking to a domestic violent situation. She 450 00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:56,880 Speaker 2: could be killed he could be killed. It's extremely dangerous. 451 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,800 Speaker 2: Walking into a person's home is dangerous. You want to 452 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,080 Speaker 2: take them outside of the hume, so to speak. So 453 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:04,240 Speaker 2: he's making women in danger. It's even worse than that, 454 00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,920 Speaker 2: he's endangering the lives of all the immigrants that live here, 455 00:22:07,119 --> 00:22:09,920 Speaker 2: all the minorities that live here. The people that will 456 00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:12,679 Speaker 2: be the greatest victims of Zaramamdani, or people maybe voting 457 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:18,160 Speaker 2: for him, Hispanic Americans, African Americans. They're and tremendous danger. 458 00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,520 Speaker 2: If he pulls back the police. These communities, which are 459 00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:24,680 Speaker 2: at best calm, sometimes with a lot of violence, will 460 00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:26,760 Speaker 2: get much much worse if he gets in. 461 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:27,800 Speaker 3: Everybody loses. 462 00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:30,359 Speaker 1: So that is what I think is somewhat interesting. I 463 00:22:30,359 --> 00:22:34,080 Speaker 1: think Americans always see the country as a melting pot, 464 00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:36,439 Speaker 1: and what makes us America is that you have all 465 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:39,959 Speaker 1: of these different communities, and especially in cities like New 466 00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:43,280 Speaker 1: York where you have Chinatown and Little Italy and all 467 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:46,480 Speaker 1: these different communities that have a section of the city, 468 00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:50,080 Speaker 1: but they all function together. That has been the beauty 469 00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:54,600 Speaker 1: of Western civilization. And I think that that was what 470 00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:56,879 Speaker 1: Europe saw when they said, oh, yeah, we're going to 471 00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:59,919 Speaker 1: accept a mass immigration, because everybody wants to be German, 472 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:03,040 Speaker 1: and everybody wants to be English, and everybody wants to 473 00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:06,600 Speaker 1: be Irish or Swedish. And then suddenly those values were 474 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:09,520 Speaker 1: not the same and it was too late. I really 475 00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:11,640 Speaker 1: believe in some of those cities it was too late. 476 00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:14,919 Speaker 1: The culture changed and a lot of those folks. I 477 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:17,320 Speaker 1: have friends in the Czech Republic they don't allow immigration, 478 00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:20,000 Speaker 1: and they say, you know, we've seen this surrounding countries 479 00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:23,200 Speaker 1: and they're no longer the same culture and that history 480 00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:28,440 Speaker 1: is completely gone. So can Western civilization survive if we 481 00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:32,439 Speaker 1: see that Western civilization in Europe is already kind of 482 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:33,840 Speaker 1: falling apart and it's changing. 483 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:36,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, I just go to the streets of London. We call 484 00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:39,560 Speaker 2: londonastan the streets of Paris. Today it's coming from immigration. 485 00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:43,120 Speaker 2: It's people that don't share today are Christian values, Western values. 486 00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:45,040 Speaker 2: The thing which keeps New York so beautiful, and you've 487 00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:48,240 Speaker 2: lived here for a bit in a town little Italy 488 00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,320 Speaker 2: Lower east Side. The other thing that's keeping it together 489 00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:53,320 Speaker 2: are people's values as countries as they came from it 490 00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:55,680 Speaker 2: built these beautiful communities. And the other thing which is 491 00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:58,320 Speaker 2: keeping it together for at least one hundred years is 492 00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:01,359 Speaker 2: the respect of law. We have to respect the police, 493 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:04,240 Speaker 2: whether it's in the streets of New York or it's 494 00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:08,600 Speaker 2: on college campuses. People parading around campuses, setting up camp 495 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:12,520 Speaker 2: and encampments, blocking Jewish students from getting to class. The 496 00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:14,399 Speaker 2: police should have been called in. They were not allowed 497 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:18,120 Speaker 2: to go into Columbia University Initially. We don't respect the police, 498 00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:22,480 Speaker 2: we don't respect society. We take away people's security. And 499 00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:25,040 Speaker 2: unfortunately Democrats keep on pushing this narrative we have to 500 00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:26,680 Speaker 2: get rid of the police. But it's the most dangerous 501 00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:29,879 Speaker 2: thing which will actually break down our wonderful democracy. 502 00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:31,240 Speaker 3: We don't have police well. 503 00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:34,200 Speaker 1: And even when they stopped the whole message of defund 504 00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:36,240 Speaker 1: the police, like I said, I think this week has 505 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:40,320 Speaker 1: been very telling because as the president even the entire administration. 506 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:42,639 Speaker 1: Let me go back the entire administration, because when he 507 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,239 Speaker 1: got in, he was saying, Okay, we're going to make 508 00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:48,160 Speaker 1: sure that we are closing the border. And then once 509 00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:50,159 Speaker 1: you have a closed border, you can really take a 510 00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:52,920 Speaker 1: look at who is inside of the country and who 511 00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:55,080 Speaker 1: should not be inside of the country, and then you 512 00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:58,320 Speaker 1: don't have the massive flow in. And the Democrats went 513 00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:00,240 Speaker 1: crazy about that. How could you close the border. Why 514 00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:02,520 Speaker 1: don't you want why don't you want to make sure 515 00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:04,560 Speaker 1: that you're only letting the people in that you want 516 00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:06,520 Speaker 1: to let in. But then you go to the next 517 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:11,760 Speaker 1: level of seeing our capital city fall apart and say, 518 00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:13,879 Speaker 1: we're going to have more law enforcement out there, and 519 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:16,480 Speaker 1: they're going to be able to enforce laws. And this 520 00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:18,920 Speaker 1: argument is very interesting to me because there've been people 521 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:21,919 Speaker 1: that are like, these are fourteen, fifteen, and sixteen year 522 00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:25,000 Speaker 1: old kids and they cannot have law enforcement come down 523 00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:25,360 Speaker 1: on them. 524 00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:30,280 Speaker 2: Why well, you bring together some things. Let me go 525 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:32,240 Speaker 2: back as a therapist to talk about this. Let's talk 526 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:35,240 Speaker 2: about your family and your own home. Right, So would 527 00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:37,400 Speaker 2: you open your doors all the time, late at night 528 00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:40,359 Speaker 2: when you're sleeping. Can anybody walk into your house whenever 529 00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:42,040 Speaker 2: they want and do whatever they want? No one would 530 00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,679 Speaker 2: Elizabeth Warren who wants to happen, she wouldn't let that 531 00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:45,520 Speaker 2: happen in her home. 532 00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:46,160 Speaker 3: Zurmm. 533 00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:49,119 Speaker 2: Donnie just came back from Uganda where he came from, 534 00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:52,960 Speaker 2: and he had a parade of military enforcement and he's 535 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,000 Speaker 2: walking around New York now with police all around him. 536 00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:58,760 Speaker 2: Everybody knows logically that you can't open your home to everybody. 537 00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:02,320 Speaker 2: That's number one. Umber two is when our teenagers. Teenagers 538 00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:04,480 Speaker 2: want things that are not good for us, good for them. 539 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:06,440 Speaker 2: What do we tell them if we're smarming saying no, 540 00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:09,119 Speaker 2: I'm sorry you can't have that right now, it's the 541 00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:12,280 Speaker 2: whole breakdown of the family and the full breakdown of society. 542 00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:16,320 Speaker 2: There's no limitations, there's no values, there's no one saying no. 543 00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:18,600 Speaker 2: Kids actually believe me. As a psychologist, I work with 544 00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:22,119 Speaker 2: families as well. Kids actually are okay when you say no, 545 00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:24,200 Speaker 2: They're going to push, they're going. 546 00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:26,359 Speaker 3: To fight you. I wanted, I wanted, I wanted you. 547 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:29,320 Speaker 2: Say I'm sorry with kindness, I'm sorry you can't have it. 548 00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:31,440 Speaker 2: And by the way, they feel more secure when they're 549 00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:35,320 Speaker 2: told no. We understand there's boundaries. Our society has taken 550 00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:38,280 Speaker 2: away the boundaries. We're seeing it in families breaking down, 551 00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:41,320 Speaker 2: and we're seeing it in places like New York where 552 00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:43,440 Speaker 2: they want to take away the police from us. We're 553 00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:46,600 Speaker 2: breaking around down all these boundaries, and our lives are 554 00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:49,000 Speaker 2: dysfunctional and extremely dangerous as well. 555 00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:52,840 Speaker 1: Well. And that's something that I think I noticed growing up, 556 00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:55,840 Speaker 1: that there were fewer boundaries on us than I think 557 00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:58,760 Speaker 1: our parents and then our generation was like, we were 558 00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:02,320 Speaker 1: the generation that was constant praised, constantly, given a trophy 559 00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:04,399 Speaker 1: for everything we did. And then I think that the 560 00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:07,960 Speaker 1: parents of my generation have been like, we just want 561 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:09,720 Speaker 1: to make them happy. We want to make them happy. 562 00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:12,520 Speaker 1: We'll give give gift. And I've noticed with my kids. 563 00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:15,679 Speaker 1: You know, every kid is different, and I certainly have 564 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:18,000 Speaker 1: one that is the one that will push as hard 565 00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:22,080 Speaker 1: as she can to get whatever she wants. And oftentimes 566 00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:24,560 Speaker 1: when I've said no, she'll come to me later, even 567 00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:27,040 Speaker 1: though we have a huge fit, how could you do this? 568 00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:29,040 Speaker 1: And I want this to bed, She'll come up to 569 00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:31,080 Speaker 1: me later and she'd be like, you were right, I'm 570 00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:34,280 Speaker 1: glad you said no. But she would never have experienced 571 00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:36,159 Speaker 1: that if I was like, you know what, we're always 572 00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:37,240 Speaker 1: going to give in. 573 00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:40,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's definitely okay to set boundaries. And as a 574 00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:43,680 Speaker 2: family therapist, I teach parents all the time about this concept. 575 00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:47,920 Speaker 2: You can't be strong all the time, and if you 576 00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:50,400 Speaker 2: want to be strong, you have to have it balanced 577 00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:53,480 Speaker 2: with a lot of love. So it's these two powerful forces, 578 00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:56,480 Speaker 2: a lot of love and setting boundaries. Parents have just 579 00:27:56,520 --> 00:28:00,760 Speaker 2: set boundaries without relationship time, without love, kids will rebel 580 00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:03,400 Speaker 2: so it's really coming to what you said before. If 581 00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:05,440 Speaker 2: we want healthy kids, we have to treat them with 582 00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:09,080 Speaker 2: respect and love, but also teach them value. Is that's 583 00:28:09,119 --> 00:28:12,080 Speaker 2: the potent combination between these two different polls, and that 584 00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:13,440 Speaker 2: really works me through that with your kids. 585 00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:16,199 Speaker 1: Let's take a quick commercial break. We'll continue next on 586 00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:23,240 Speaker 1: the Tutor Dixon Podcast. I think parenting is hard though today, 587 00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:25,520 Speaker 1: and maybe it's just because I'm going through it and 588 00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:27,639 Speaker 1: my parents went through different things. But with all of 589 00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:32,040 Speaker 1: the outside influences of social media and this, it's like 590 00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:34,680 Speaker 1: a now culture. You order it on Amazon, it comes 591 00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:37,159 Speaker 1: to the house the next morning. We want everything, we 592 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:39,920 Speaker 1: want it now, and our kids have they don't even 593 00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:41,800 Speaker 1: have commercials. I mean, I know that sounds silly, but 594 00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:43,520 Speaker 1: I'm like, man, I had to wait a week to 595 00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:45,400 Speaker 1: see what the next episode of Friends was going to 596 00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:47,280 Speaker 1: be like and then sit through the commercials. You know, 597 00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:51,360 Speaker 1: like those were things that that waiting process taught me. 598 00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:53,960 Speaker 1: You know, you can't get everything, but now you can 599 00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:57,240 Speaker 1: get everything you want right away, and so the only 600 00:28:57,280 --> 00:29:00,880 Speaker 1: barrier is your parents. And you do have these battles. 601 00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:03,160 Speaker 1: And I've actually had this conversation with my kids. What 602 00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:06,840 Speaker 1: you're talking about because we've had battles. And I think 603 00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:09,400 Speaker 1: that's hard too, because as a parent, I'm like, wow, 604 00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:12,320 Speaker 1: having a fight with my kids is that damaging to them? 605 00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:15,720 Speaker 1: And I try to always go back and say, look, 606 00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:19,280 Speaker 1: I love you so much. And my one daughter has 607 00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:21,760 Speaker 1: said to me, is there ever a time when I'm 608 00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:25,440 Speaker 1: so mean and I'm so angry that you would stop 609 00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:28,200 Speaker 1: loving me? And Mike never. Never. 610 00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:31,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's beautiful. I'll never stop loving you, honey. You're 611 00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:34,440 Speaker 2: the most important thing in my life to me. But 612 00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:36,040 Speaker 2: there's times we're going to say no to you because 613 00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:38,320 Speaker 2: we know what's best for you. That's a beautiful message. Again, 614 00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:41,360 Speaker 2: the love with the strength and the boundaries is what 615 00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:45,640 Speaker 2: creates very powerfully resilient children. I've been wondering about this 616 00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:47,320 Speaker 2: my wife and I. Look, we have seven kids and 617 00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:50,120 Speaker 2: grandchildren at this point. But we've been looking at families 618 00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:53,080 Speaker 2: for years. The families that allowed their kids to do 619 00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:56,440 Speaker 2: whatever they want didn't necessarily turn out very healthy. The 620 00:29:56,480 --> 00:30:01,040 Speaker 2: families are a bit stronger, who had values, that went 621 00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:06,320 Speaker 2: for religious services, that had culture, They had meaningful experiences together. 622 00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:08,120 Speaker 2: In the Jewish tradition, we have Friday and night dinner, 623 00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:10,360 Speaker 2: we have the Sabbath meals together, we go to synagogue, 624 00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:13,240 Speaker 2: people go to church on Sunday. The people that do 625 00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:17,320 Speaker 2: that consistently create these healthy boundaries, create this wonderful sense 626 00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:20,760 Speaker 2: of spirituality and continuity. And those are the powerful things 627 00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:23,520 Speaker 2: which keep society safe. Those are the powerful things which 628 00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:26,640 Speaker 2: keep people healthy as well. And unfortunately, if you go 629 00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:29,240 Speaker 2: to most therapists today and you say you believe in God, 630 00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:32,320 Speaker 2: they'll say you're crazy. God's a Figdi of your imagination. 631 00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:34,959 Speaker 2: That's the bias that we're getting from therapists. They've been 632 00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:37,960 Speaker 2: indoctrinated against God. In one of my earlier books, I 633 00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:40,400 Speaker 2: had a chapter and the question was should we keep 634 00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:43,520 Speaker 2: God in the waiting room? And when we were training 635 00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:46,200 Speaker 2: as therapist over the years, we were told to keep 636 00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:50,760 Speaker 2: the strict separation between church and state. Now, of course 637 00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:53,720 Speaker 2: I would never express my religious values to my clients, 638 00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:56,600 Speaker 2: but if they want to talk about these important things, 639 00:30:56,880 --> 00:31:00,520 Speaker 2: invite God into the session, Invite the discussion of values 640 00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:03,840 Speaker 2: and meaning the discussion. That's what Victor Frankel talked about 641 00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:04,800 Speaker 2: in Man's Arture. Meaning. 642 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:05,960 Speaker 3: We want to point. 643 00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:10,000 Speaker 2: People towards values and towards meaningful experiences. Those are the 644 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:14,080 Speaker 2: things that make them healthy, not Netflix, not instant purchasing 645 00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:16,400 Speaker 2: an Amazon. And the new thing is Uber eats, and 646 00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:18,120 Speaker 2: it's horrible because it's very expensive. 647 00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:21,920 Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, it's so true. So this is embarrassing. 648 00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:25,719 Speaker 1: But I actually had one day, so you know, you 649 00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:28,480 Speaker 1: could your kids. They want to download an app and 650 00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:32,040 Speaker 1: it comes for people who don't have kids today, it 651 00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:34,040 Speaker 1: comes to you, or at least on our phones. It 652 00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:36,040 Speaker 1: comes to us, and we can either approve or disapprove 653 00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:38,479 Speaker 1: as the parents. So I didn't know that my husband 654 00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:41,040 Speaker 1: had approved Uber eats for my daughter and I come 655 00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:43,520 Speaker 1: to pick her up from school and she comes out 656 00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:48,520 Speaker 1: with a giant Starbucks drink and I was like, how 657 00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:50,720 Speaker 1: do you have Starbucks? You've been at school all day. 658 00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:52,640 Speaker 1: Who bought that for you? And she's like, I had 659 00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:55,800 Speaker 1: pizza too, Like how did you have that? And she 660 00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:57,840 Speaker 1: said I ordered it on uber Eats and I was like, 661 00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:01,680 Speaker 1: oh no, no, you know, we are not doing that. 662 00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:03,600 Speaker 1: And that was the last time she did it. But 663 00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:07,560 Speaker 1: that's how it works. They will push, they will push. 664 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:09,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, one hundred percent, and they're not happier for it. 665 00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:12,600 Speaker 2: Believe me, people are not happy when they're fully self 666 00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:16,640 Speaker 2: focused and they're only focusing on themselves, They're not going 667 00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:19,040 Speaker 2: to be happy. They need to go beyond themselves. You 668 00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:22,000 Speaker 2: know what's more satisfying Uber eats or taking a hike 669 00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:25,680 Speaker 2: in the mountains, going on a raft whitewater rafting with 670 00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:30,160 Speaker 2: your kids, laughing together, making a campfire during the summertime, 671 00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:32,000 Speaker 2: having a great time with them. That's going to be 672 00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:36,120 Speaker 2: emotionally and mentally invigorating for them. Those are the deep 673 00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:38,640 Speaker 2: experiences that we could have with our kids which given 674 00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:41,400 Speaker 2: them the energy to have more successful lives. But if 675 00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:44,720 Speaker 2: we allow Amazon and Netflix and Uber eats to feed 676 00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:47,320 Speaker 2: them and to educate them, we don't have a chance. 677 00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:50,960 Speaker 1: And honestly, what leads them I know this will be 678 00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:53,960 Speaker 1: the last thing I'll say. Also, what leads them to 679 00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:58,600 Speaker 1: a life that is fulfilling with another person? Because I 680 00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:01,560 Speaker 1: think if you become in this world of I have 681 00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:03,480 Speaker 1: to post the picture of what I'm drinking, and I 682 00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:06,080 Speaker 1: have to post the picture of where I'm outside right 683 00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:08,880 Speaker 1: now on my vacation. Am I this? Your life becomes 684 00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:11,120 Speaker 1: more focused on what other people you don't even know 685 00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:14,160 Speaker 1: think about you. And I've seen so many relationships with 686 00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:17,280 Speaker 1: young people that have broken down because you can't get 687 00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:20,239 Speaker 1: away from your device to look at me, and that, 688 00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:23,200 Speaker 1: to me is a very crucial part of parenting today. 689 00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:25,720 Speaker 1: Put that down and focus on the people around you. 690 00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:27,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, the healthiest things we can do. 691 00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:29,840 Speaker 2: And I'm sure you're very, very busy and I am 692 00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:32,440 Speaker 2: or always on our phones, answering messages, taking care of 693 00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:34,880 Speaker 2: bills and things. The most important thing we could do 694 00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:38,320 Speaker 2: for our children or for our marriages is put away 695 00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:42,360 Speaker 2: our phones. Just put them away. I suggest to family 696 00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:44,320 Speaker 2: members all the time, when you get home at night 697 00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:47,360 Speaker 2: and the kids are home, take your phone, lock it 698 00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:50,720 Speaker 2: in another room, put a limitation. For one hour, we 699 00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:53,520 Speaker 2: will spend time just talking in our family. Sometimes you 700 00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:55,960 Speaker 2: go into somebody's house, everybody's on their phone. I've walked 701 00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:58,240 Speaker 2: into my home. All five kids are all on their phones, 702 00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:00,560 Speaker 2: and we're also on our phones. No one's connecting. Get 703 00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:03,600 Speaker 2: family time. At that point, I'd say, guys, let's put 704 00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:06,520 Speaker 2: away our phones for half an hour. For one hour, 705 00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:10,520 Speaker 2: I guarantee you put away the phones. There's connection. People 706 00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:14,680 Speaker 2: calm down, less depressed, less anxious, feel good, feel loved, 707 00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:16,480 Speaker 2: and that all comes to deep connection. But we've got 708 00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:18,600 Speaker 2: to put away our cell phones. That's the real enemy. 709 00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:21,960 Speaker 1: Absolutely so Rabbi, you have such great advice. Where can 710 00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:23,440 Speaker 1: people find you? How do they follow you? 711 00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:26,320 Speaker 2: Well, it can go to my podcast. It's called Victor 712 00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:28,960 Speaker 2: Frankel Podcasts. I have wonderful guests on from around the 713 00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:29,640 Speaker 2: world talking. 714 00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:30,399 Speaker 3: About the issues of the day. 715 00:34:30,719 --> 00:34:33,799 Speaker 2: Also, I have a coaching company it's called Taurus Psychology 716 00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:35,920 Speaker 2: dot Org, and I train people to do with their 717 00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:37,959 Speaker 2: own families what I teach other people to do as well. 718 00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:41,839 Speaker 1: Wonderful Rabbi Daniel Schollenbuck, thank you so much for being on. 719 00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:44,400 Speaker 1: Great to be with you, and thank you all for 720 00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:47,600 Speaker 1: listening to the Tutor Dixon podcast. For this episode and others. 721 00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:51,400 Speaker 1: Go to Tutor dixonpodcast dot com, the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, 722 00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:54,040 Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts, and you can watch 723 00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:56,960 Speaker 1: the full video on YouTube or rumble at Tutor Dixon 724 00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:59,000 Speaker 1: and join us next time. Have a blessed ing.