Speaker 1: Welcome back to ID part two, which one of your
Speaker 1: celebrity mentors, Kelly ben Simone. On this podcast. You've been
Speaker 1: with me on the journey from talking about calling off
Speaker 1: my engagement last year to manifesting my future husband to
Speaker 1: going on set updates. It's been so much fun so
Speaker 1: far and really really healing. I am so excited today
Speaker 1: because I've mentioned this person several times in the show,
Speaker 1: and I think having him on the podcast is going
Speaker 1: to help you get to know me a little bit better.
Speaker 1: So I am bringing in my twin brother. His name
Speaker 1: is Tom caylorin, but he's known to me as Tommy.
Speaker 1: Hi Tommy, Hi Kelly, Happy birthday, Having birthday Tommy, and
Speaker 1: love you.
Speaker 2: You made it another year.
Speaker 1: Thank you for my president. You're the worst person to
Speaker 1: buy presence for because you're like Jim Shorts. I'm like
Speaker 1: Jim shortsone's Jim Shorts, asked.
Speaker 2: For Jim Shorts.
Speaker 3: But you know, forty again, Kelly, A baby.
Speaker 1: Again, Tommy. Let's get into this because we're on our
Speaker 1: d part two and actually I've been I told you
Speaker 1: about this, how much fun I've been having talking about
Speaker 1: love and kind of you know, unpacking everything that happened
Speaker 1: last year, but I want you to tell the listeners
Speaker 1: what it was like growing up with us.
Speaker 2: Kelly, You're.
Speaker 3: You are one of the most unique people in the country.
Speaker 2: Like you, you whin the.
Speaker 3: You've topped the funnel at the top of people that
Speaker 3: come down into the bottom of greatness.
Speaker 2: You know, you're one of those people.
Speaker 3: I mean you You've funneled your way to the top,
Speaker 3: and you're just You've.
Speaker 2: Got all these unbelievable talents. You're so.
Speaker 3: Well spoken, and you're a hard worker, and you're a fighter,
Speaker 3: and all those things are amazing.
Speaker 2: So, I mean, you have so much talent growing up.
Speaker 3: Well, I think all three of us are like that,
Speaker 3: and I think it has a lot.
Speaker 2: To do with things that we had to do.
Speaker 3: You know, Dad was a lawyer, had a busy law practice,
Speaker 3: but we still.
Speaker 2: All mowed the lawn every week. You know how to
Speaker 2: operate a lawn more.
Speaker 3: I'm telling America, I'm telling the world on this whole podcast.
Speaker 3: You can operate a push mower because mom and Dad
Speaker 3: made you do it.
Speaker 2: And I just think it. I think it made you.
Speaker 3: I think it's made us all better people that we
Speaker 3: mowed the lawn, that we you know. Did you know
Speaker 3: when a when a car battery died, we didn't call
Speaker 3: the gas station. We jumped the damn battery with jumper cables.
Speaker 1: Do you remember that, you me, Tracy, our older sister, Tracy,
Speaker 1: the three of us we did. But I always got
Speaker 1: I always when we when I move the lawn, you
Speaker 1: got to be on the tractor, you were, Tracy, But
Speaker 1: I always did the hand uh handheld because Mom wanted
Speaker 1: to be perfect in the backyard.
Speaker 3: We actually never used we actually never used that tractor
Speaker 3: because it was never worked.
Speaker 1: But Ray, remember.
Speaker 3: It was a mindset that they were workers, first generation
Speaker 3: in college they had you know this is they didn't
Speaker 3: there was nowhere to go back to ask for a
Speaker 3: loan or to get money or to help out.
Speaker 2: It was them. Yeah, And so you know, it's just
Speaker 2: thinking about you.
Speaker 3: You're just you just imby all those things that mom
Speaker 3: and dad work so hard, and you just watched them
Speaker 3: work and you just kept doing it.
Speaker 2: And I'm proud of you. I love you so much.
Speaker 2: But you know, now we got to find you a mate.
Speaker 2: Let's work on that.
Speaker 1: What was it like where before we get in found
Speaker 1: me a mate? What was it like being my twins?
Speaker 2: I mean it was amazing.
Speaker 3: It was amazing because Kelly, you know when you when
Speaker 3: we were growing up, you your your talent was just
Speaker 3: so apparent, and your desire to be successful, it was
Speaker 3: so apparent, and you know, it was just sort of breathtaking.
Speaker 3: Your rise into the modeling world was sort of meteoric.
Speaker 3: I mean when you know, mom and dad, so coming
Speaker 3: from a family with a lawyer, Dad had enough money
Speaker 3: to pay for you to get good pictures.
Speaker 1: Do you remember when you took my photos in the
Speaker 1: backyard for Team magazine? Remember you took those photos.
Speaker 2: I don't remember doing you took a picture of meat
Speaker 2: one time?
Speaker 1: I did.
Speaker 3: I took those professional photos, got into the the magazines,
Speaker 3: and you got picked. And I remember being in the
Speaker 3: audience at some of the contests and you would see
Speaker 3: the other young ladies coming through and you were just,
Speaker 3: you know, clearly the class of all those groups, and
Speaker 3: you just would get picked and win contests and go
Speaker 3: to the next and get a contract.
Speaker 1: You know what was interesting too, is like when people
Speaker 1: talk about being twins, and you know, people ask me
Speaker 1: about being a twin all the time, and you know,
Speaker 1: it's like we were siblings. I mean, we are. Yes,
Speaker 1: born in the same day, but we were siblings, and
Speaker 1: you know, it was fascinating because like having you with me,
Speaker 1: I was always I felt so confident, Like I was like,
Speaker 1: Tommy's there, Tommy's there, Oh, Tommy's there, Oh, Tommy's right there.
Speaker 1: Like I never felt like I was by myself or
Speaker 1: I never felt like, you know, I have any reason
Speaker 1: to be intimidated because you know, we were in a
Speaker 1: lot of the same classes. We weren't in all the
Speaker 1: same classes, but we were in, you know, in a
Speaker 1: lot of the same classes. People ask me all the time,
Speaker 1: they're like, do you guys have telepathy? Do you think
Speaker 1: we have telepathy?
Speaker 2: It's just the stupid ast a question on the plan. No,
Speaker 2: we don't have telepathy.
Speaker 3: I mean it's not No, this isn't We're not like
Speaker 3: Siamese twins that were separated at birth, you know, and
Speaker 3: share the same organs. Now we're born on the same day,
Speaker 3: but we're brother and sister, Billy right exactly.
Speaker 1: And it's like, I mean, you know, they talk about
Speaker 1: like nature and nurture, and we were you know, we
Speaker 1: have the same nature and we were also nurtured in
Speaker 1: the same environment. Yes, we can you know, fix anything,
Speaker 1: clean anything. You ask us to do anything, we can
Speaker 1: do anything.
Speaker 3: If your listeners are looking for that magic clean thing,
Speaker 3: you know, it's have to debunk it right now, because
Speaker 3: I mean, there are some things that have in common
Speaker 3: with your sister Tracy that I do with you, or
Speaker 3: you might. Tracy and I might be better at telepathy
Speaker 3: as some things than you and I are.
Speaker 1: The two of you are lawyers. I'm not a lawyer.
Speaker 2: You're not shocker.
Speaker 1: Okay. When I get married to my ex, I'm happy
Speaker 1: the best time, so happy to see you down. I
Speaker 1: love you so much. When I got married to my
Speaker 1: U now ex husband, what did you think about that?
Speaker 1: Did you ever think we would get divorced? Be honest,
Speaker 1: I mean we were too young.
Speaker 3: To really think about like that you would get divorced.
Speaker 3: But I mean we were all worried. I mean I
Speaker 3: think I was worried as just mom and dad and
Speaker 3: Tracy and others were worried that, you know, there was
Speaker 3: such an age gap between the two of you, and
Speaker 3: that was just something that just worried. Is like, is
Speaker 3: that going to Will that be successful? And you know,
Speaker 3: will that continue to you know, go forward? And I
Speaker 3: think I think the two of you had some good
Speaker 3: years together, but I just you know, he he just
Speaker 3: proved to be you know, I think there was some
Speaker 3: I think he loved you.
Speaker 2: I think you loved him back, but it just proved
Speaker 2: to be that he wasn't going to go all in.
Speaker 3: And and commit to being like uh that he was good.
Speaker 2: He would just lay down.
Speaker 3: In front of a moving train for you or walk
Speaker 3: through a better broken glass for you. And I don't
Speaker 3: know if I don't think it has anything to do
Speaker 3: with you that you are great. I just think that
Speaker 3: that's a little bit of who he is. You know,
Speaker 3: it's been with many women before, and it's been with
Speaker 3: many sins.
Speaker 1: I think too, it's hard. I mean it must be
Speaker 1: hard for a lot of guys. I mean, obviously we
Speaker 1: don't come from divorce, so that's something as well. But
Speaker 1: I think it's really hard for a lot of men
Speaker 1: to fill to fill shoes in a better way than
Speaker 1: you and Dad, because you know, here I have this
Speaker 1: amazing twin brother Tommy, and then I have my incredible father.
Speaker 1: So I've been around such stellar humans that you know,
Speaker 1: I don't like It's not that, you know, I want
Speaker 1: a real relationship and you know, I've talked about this before,
Speaker 1: like I would like a relationship where I I there's
Speaker 1: my partner, there is my best friend, that we can
Speaker 1: do all these things together. And I think that, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, it's hard too because like I have such
Speaker 1: high expectations because I was around great people.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but there are great people that you can be with,
Speaker 3: you know, I mean, and we all are imperfect and
Speaker 3: we make mistakes, so you know, I mean, and maybe
Speaker 3: your next your second.
Speaker 2: Marriage that you had. I know, you've never got formally marriage.
Speaker 1: It's got last let's call it last second. Sounds like
Speaker 1: there's gonna be a third.
Speaker 2: I don't know, but I mean you were with him
Speaker 2: for a long.
Speaker 1: Time, like I don't know it's gonna be and.
Speaker 2: You were with him for ten or twelve years. I mean,
Speaker 2: that was a very lasting relationship. But it was just
Speaker 2: the most.
Speaker 1: Disappointing I guess too, Like because like you and your wife, Mimi,
Speaker 1: you guys are so close and you're such a beautiful relationship,
Speaker 1: and I like, and I've told Mimi this before many times,
Speaker 1: I've said, like that's something that I want for myself
Speaker 1: as well, Like I want that great relationship and you know,
Speaker 1: it's like Mimi understands you, you know she and you
Speaker 1: know maybe also really understands me, and so like that's
Speaker 1: the thing too, is that again, It's like the expectations
Speaker 1: are just like hard.
Speaker 2: I don't think you're right. I mean, I can be inconsiderate.
Speaker 1: Dumb Assmi's the best of the best.
Speaker 2: She's great. I love her. But I just wonder if
Speaker 2: you have this story.
Speaker 3: Book view of how everyone's relationships are. I mean, she's amazing.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't trade a minute of my life that I've heard,
Speaker 3: my time with her ever for anything on the planet.
Speaker 2: But I mean not there.
Speaker 3: Are days when you know she would just like to
Speaker 3: close the door and maybe never see me, or at
Speaker 3: least not see me for another couple of minutes or days.
Speaker 3: And so, I mean, relationships are imperfect and hard. It
Speaker 3: requires work, and it requires kind of worst, you know,
Speaker 3: saying you're sorry. It's so freaking hard. The whole that
Speaker 3: you get gets harder to do. But that's the critical thing.
Speaker 3: It's just like, can I just dump you to admit
Speaker 3: that I was a dumbass and I was sorry? Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's hard. So I don't know, I'm not sure I
Speaker 3: agree with you. That there's this big storybook between the
Speaker 3: two of us. I think there are many great marriages.
Speaker 1: I just see you guys as such a as just
Speaker 1: like really, you know, it's like they always talk about
Speaker 1: that missing piece, which I think is very beautiful. But
Speaker 1: I don't thinking of it like that. I just think
Speaker 1: that you guys are so beautifully compatible and I love that.
Speaker 1: But you know what's interesting is that when I when
Speaker 1: I was thinking about getting divorced, before I even got divorced,
Speaker 1: and I, you know, spoke to mom about it and
Speaker 1: she was like not happy, And you know, you and
Speaker 1: Mimi were so supportive of my decision and not you
Speaker 1: were supportive of divorce, but you were supportive of my happiness.
Speaker 1: And I think that's something that's also very unusual too,
Speaker 1: to have that kind of very strong family bond, because
Speaker 1: most people like are jumping from their family, and all
Speaker 1: I want to do is be with my family. So
Speaker 1: I think that I think that, you know, at first,
Speaker 1: I was so I was ashamed because I was the
Speaker 1: first one to get married, and I was ashamed that
Speaker 1: I couldn't continue with something that I had made a
Speaker 1: commitment to. That's that's how I felt. But I never
Speaker 1: felt that from you guys, because maybe you knew it
Speaker 1: was happening.
Speaker 3: Oh no, I mean there's some things about him that
Speaker 3: I really liked, and you know, I mean he was
Speaker 3: very good to meet me, but I mean he was
Speaker 3: also just you know, and if your beautiful daughters are
Speaker 3: listening to this, this is not meant to be critical
Speaker 3: of your dad. It's just like some of the things
Speaker 3: that he wouldn't do for you from a career perspective,
Speaker 3: and some of the things he did to you from
Speaker 3: a personal perspective, or you.
Speaker 2: Know, just not okay, So anyway, we'll just leave it
Speaker 2: like that. But mine, Yeah, anyway.
Speaker 3: But so then your your next path was into your
Speaker 3: next relationship, which was you know, it's almost like you
Speaker 3: you went, you went from the older guy to the younger.
Speaker 2: Guy, like you went the absolute opposite direction. Yeah, like
Speaker 2: you could. You went as polar opposite as humanly possible.
Speaker 1: How do you think I navigated being a single mom?
Speaker 1: I'm really genuinely curious, and you can criticis, but just gently.
Speaker 3: You were you know, you were a single mom when
Speaker 3: you were married to Jill. I mean, let's be honest, right, yes, yeh,
Speaker 3: So I mean these are basically your kids that you've
Speaker 3: raised from birth by yourself.
Speaker 2: He was around some but not a lot.
Speaker 3: And I mean that's just an underappreciated thing that you
Speaker 3: did and also trying to also.
Speaker 2: I think in the back of your mind you.
Speaker 3: Must have known that you may not work out with him,
Speaker 3: and so you had to be prepared for the next
Speaker 3: step of your life, and you navigated that being ready
Speaker 3: for the next career step and then also raising the kids,
Speaker 3: which was hard. You know.
Speaker 1: It's funny that you say that, because a lot of
Speaker 1: people when they when they're like, oh my god, like
Speaker 1: on Housewives, are like, oh my god, You've written seven bucks,
Speaker 1: You've done all these magazine and all that stuff. And
Speaker 1: I I respond to that by saying, if I had
Speaker 1: been in a loving marriage, do you think I would
Speaker 1: have had the time to write seven books and to
Speaker 1: start two magazines and to do all these things and
Speaker 1: to be modeling. If I was in a loving marriage,
Speaker 1: I would be focused on my husband, uh, not just
Speaker 1: you know, doing having this extra free time when my
Speaker 1: kids were at camp or school whatever to do these
Speaker 1: other things. And so I think too, you know, it's
Speaker 1: it's been Honestly, it's been very hard. Not personally but
Speaker 1: professionally to constantly tell people that, you know, I did
Speaker 1: it for the right reasons. And I again, I also
Speaker 1: had you and Dad there for the girls. So when
Speaker 1: we would come for Thanksgiving, when we would come for Christmas.
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, you're you're such a patriarch, and
Speaker 1: Dad was such a is also such a beautiful patriarch.
Speaker 1: That my girls, whether they did things that were really
Speaker 1: really great or really really naughty, you know, I think
Speaker 1: that like it was just it has been so nice
Speaker 1: for them to you know, be around be around you
Speaker 1: and that male. That male, the male in the in girls'
Speaker 1: lives is such an important, important human because it really
Speaker 1: shapes the narrative for them in the future of how
Speaker 1: they're going to work and love. You know, if they're
Speaker 1: you know, they choose to be with a male that
Speaker 1: you know, help what that relationship looks like. And so
Speaker 1: you know, I'm so happy, you know, I'm just so
Speaker 1: happy that they had that they had you and Dad.
Speaker 1: But what did you think about when I went on Housewives?
Speaker 1: What were your thoughts, remember, gentle, gentle, you know, gentle, I.
Speaker 2: Thought it was amazing. You you know, you were great
Speaker 2: on it.
Speaker 3: Your natural You're intelligenic and fun to be around, and
Speaker 3: I think it's wonderful.
Speaker 2: I'm waiting.
Speaker 3: I'm just ready for the I'm waiting for the next
Speaker 3: step in your career past Housewives.
Speaker 2: I think Housewives was the starting point for you, and
Speaker 2: you got more in you.
Speaker 3: From that perspective, from whatever it is that video production
Speaker 3: or video show or any type of the type of medium.
Speaker 3: I think you're going to do something else. I think
Speaker 3: that's not the that's not the apex of your career.
Speaker 3: I think that's part of it, and there's going to
Speaker 3: be more and you've got a real talent and it's
Speaker 3: going to be great. So I loved it, and it
Speaker 3: was a little bit weird at the start because when
Speaker 3: Housewives was first on, it was very.
Speaker 2: New and very popular and very controversial.
Speaker 3: And I think one of the things why it got
Speaker 3: so popular is because it caught people in those.
Speaker 2: Awkward circumstances and you got caught for sure.
Speaker 3: And now I just don't think it's just natural or
Speaker 3: and you know, now they infew.
Speaker 2: You know, there's alcohol is just in fee use at
Speaker 2: such a high level.
Speaker 3: I feel like, you know, purposely, I feel like but
Speaker 3: I'm you know, I'm not there every day, so I
Speaker 3: don't want to criticize.
Speaker 1: Too much, but I mean, do you think that do
Speaker 1: you think they saw the real meme? Uh?
Speaker 2: Somewhat. Not no, not all the time, but somewhat.
Speaker 1: So it's funny that you say that because I sent
Speaker 1: I have my og group chat and I sent a
Speaker 1: photo because I'm always like, Happy Mother's Day, Happy Valentine's Day,
Speaker 1: Happy Tuesday, Happy Monday. How are you guys? YadA YadA.
Speaker 1: I saw this and I'm always responding to the group
Speaker 1: chat and it's always crickets, except for when I sent
Speaker 1: a photo of you. I said, it's my it's my
Speaker 1: my twin and I have a birthday today, like have
Speaker 1: no idea. They go, they go, I knew who's in
Speaker 1: the group giants like me, Luan, Sonya, Ramona, Jill, Drenda,
Speaker 1: and they go, they go, who said that? Luan goes,
Speaker 1: who's that chills are? And that's her twin brother And
Speaker 1: I can't remember what I think it was. Rona was
Speaker 1: like she has a twin, I'm like ladies leads and
Speaker 1: Luian goes, he's very tall, he's very handsome.
Speaker 2: That's part of the problem with the show is it's
Speaker 2: not is not sickle. Oh good god, what.
Speaker 1: I called off my engagement last year? What were you
Speaker 1: shocked or what were your thoughts?
Speaker 2: I mean not really.
Speaker 1: I just so like.
Speaker 3: His your relationship with him was I felt like there's
Speaker 3: a lot of greatness in that, and there was.
Speaker 2: There was a lot of promise.
Speaker 3: Because I like being around him and and he shares,
Speaker 3: you know, at some level, he shared a lot of
Speaker 3: the values that I think you do and I do,
Speaker 3: and Tracy and our family do, and so I was
Speaker 3: kind of I was somewhat optimistic, but there was just
Speaker 3: always a you know, a hesitance.
Speaker 2: He is you know, is he going to be able?
Speaker 2: Is he going to be able to continue to you.
Speaker 3: Know, move forward with the relationship as an adult and
Speaker 3: like as a responsible adult and not that he was
Speaker 3: you know, adulteressts or drinking.
Speaker 2: This is not I don't want to give your listeners
Speaker 2: that idea. That's not who he is.
Speaker 3: But you know, being a responsible adult is just doing
Speaker 3: things you don't want to do, which is like going
Speaker 3: to work every damn day and you know, producing for
Speaker 3: your family and you know, making sure there's a place
Speaker 3: for a roof over everyone's head that night. And I'm
Speaker 3: not trying to say he didn't work, because he worked,
Speaker 3: no question.
Speaker 1: You know what's interesting. People are like when they see
Speaker 1: me on Instagram and I'm like, oh, I'm showing or
Speaker 1: I'm here, I'm there, and they're like, you don't really
Speaker 1: work like work? I work every day. But remember when
Speaker 1: I was you know, when we talked about the prenup,
Speaker 1: you know, you know you you were like, do you
Speaker 1: remember what you said to me about the prenup? Not
Speaker 1: really you said get it don't again?
Speaker 2: Yeah I probably did. Yeah, I mean I just why not?
Speaker 3: I mean, what, what's what's the hold up for you know,
Speaker 3: having an agreement in a relationship when you're you know,
Speaker 3: I'll just you know, spoiler alert post fifty for your.
Speaker 2: Listeners, it's shock her fifty.
Speaker 1: You're not supposed to say that.
Speaker 2: No spoiler alert if you.
Speaker 1: Just want to forty Tommy forty forty forty forty Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So anyway, like it sucks because he was you know,
Speaker 3: he had a lot to offer, and I feel like,
Speaker 3: you know, some of his family was you know, I
Speaker 3: never met his mom. His mom sounded like a great
Speaker 3: lady from what you from what you told me about her,
Speaker 3: and was bored to meeting her, and you know, he
Speaker 3: had a lot of he just has a lot of
Speaker 3: things going, great things going for him. He's got beautiful kids,
Speaker 3: and you know, he's going to figure it out for himself.
Speaker 3: It's just, you know, I just think deep down inside
Speaker 3: of it is just going to be hard for you were
Speaker 3: just worried about, you know, just that day in and
Speaker 3: day out grind of making your way through through life
Speaker 3: was something I think you were a little bit worried about.
Speaker 3: Not that there was anything imperfect about him, but like
Speaker 3: was it going to keep going? You know, was there
Speaker 3: going to be a sustainability to hit you know, his
Speaker 3: professional development?
Speaker 2: And you know, I.
Speaker 1: Think too that's probably a lot of it too, is
Speaker 1: from me and my insecurity and you know, constantly being
Speaker 1: in the environment where I'm always reinventing myself. And that's
Speaker 1: just been like a fear that I've had for so long,
Speaker 1: is like constantly rein in renting myself and constantly being
Speaker 1: the main provider. And that was big, that was a
Speaker 1: big problem. What is the what do you what do
Speaker 1: you think some of the patterns are it?
Speaker 2: I get what you're You're you're sort of talking around
Speaker 2: in circles like.
Speaker 3: A circus ride. But I mean it is true. You're
Speaker 3: basically saying, is how am I going to support myself?
Speaker 1: Yes? And without being yes, yes.
Speaker 2: It's really hard and so you.
Speaker 1: Know, continue not how am I? How am I going
Speaker 1: to continue to do that?
Speaker 2: Right? Important?
Speaker 1: Yeah? So what kind of pattern to me? What tell me?
Speaker 1: What are the patterns? What do you see in my patterns?
Speaker 1: Is it my Is it that I'm super immature? You
Speaker 1: can say yes, No, I really don't think so.
Speaker 3: I mean, I really like you've had some of your relationships.
Speaker 3: I mean, but I just, you know, like picking your
Speaker 3: second long term relationship that was just a disastrous choice,
Speaker 3: and you that just played into yours, that played it
Speaker 3: and sort of played into the what you always told
Speaker 3: me about Jill's like I want to just be able
Speaker 3: to I want to be with somebody that will take
Speaker 3: me ice skating at Rockefeller PASA and do things like that.
Speaker 3: So I felt like you thought that like marriage, and
Speaker 3: you got married, you know, pretty young. Marriage should have
Speaker 3: been a little bit more romantic in storybook, and you.
Speaker 2: Know, I think there are moments like that.
Speaker 3: But then I think you just were like, Okay, I'm
Speaker 3: not married to Jilliemore, So I'm going to find the
Speaker 3: storybook playing and you did.
Speaker 1: Anyway, move into the next thing, Tommy, what do you
Speaker 1: think of What do you think of Pascal?
Speaker 3: I mean, I listened to a little bit of Pascal.
Speaker 3: I think he sounded just like Jill, which was just yucky.
Speaker 2: So that just no good, he asked me.
Speaker 1: He goes, so, he's like, what would you do on
Speaker 1: our first date? And I said, in like in jest,
Speaker 1: and I said, I would take you to the my
Speaker 1: Eiger Triangle to Gibson's to see my Playboy cover. And
Speaker 1: he goes, what I said, I'm from rock Ford, Illinois,
Speaker 1: and Gibson's is one of the most iconic restaurants in Chicago,
Speaker 1: and I am so proud that they actually wanted my
Speaker 1: Playboy cover. And I'm like, I would take you there
Speaker 1: to show off the cover. And he was so wildly offended.
Speaker 2: Why would you say that?
Speaker 1: Though it's funny, because it's funny obviously doing that, but
Speaker 1: that was so funny, and I wanted to see what
Speaker 1: he would say.
Speaker 3: Sorry, Ummy, why would you say that?
Speaker 2: That's just off putting, That's bizarre. Don't say that. Okay,
Speaker 2: here's listeners join in and call in text and.
Speaker 3: Again that's ridiculous, all right, keep going with your weirdness.
Speaker 1: So what kind of guy? So, anyway, to make a
Speaker 1: long story longer, Pascal we ended up seeing I ended
Speaker 1: up seeing meeting with him when we were in San
Speaker 1: Francisco and Napa Valley and he was very, very very nice,
Speaker 1: and so I said to him, I was like, what
Speaker 1: kind of what kind of hair dresser would uice to see?
Speaker 1: How do you know what kind of hairdresser? Juice do
Speaker 1: you see yourself like? And he said, orbe like's the
Speaker 1: most iconic characters in the world.
Speaker 2: You're losing me here.
Speaker 3: This is very sweet.
Speaker 1: It was very very sweet, very sweet, very very sweet,
Speaker 1: very accomplished, very accomplished.
Speaker 2: That's awesome. But you ruined that one. Why did you
Speaker 2: ruin that?
Speaker 1: What prescal thing about?
Speaker 2: Boy?
Speaker 1: Because I was having fun?
Speaker 2: That is dumb, though.
Speaker 3: People don't want to hear that about the viagrate triangle.
Speaker 2: That's just.
Speaker 1: I loved it.
Speaker 2: No, No, that is a disaster. That is going to be.
Speaker 1: Time is going to be like the group chat with
Speaker 1: my date and be like, she didn't mean it like that.
Speaker 3: I just wish that the listeners could check chat in
Speaker 3: right now to support me so that you could get
Speaker 3: other realization of how bizarre that is.
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 1: What kind of guy do you think I tend to
Speaker 1: attract or date? Is there like a type or is
Speaker 1: there a personality trait that you think that I attract
Speaker 1: or that I like?
Speaker 3: I don't think so, I mean, I don't There was
Speaker 3: the one guy you dated from North Carolina for a
Speaker 3: long time that was very successful, but he was noncommittal.
Speaker 3: I think you're looking for to accomplished people. That's a
Speaker 3: good word. I think you are. And all those people
Speaker 3: that everybody you've dated, except for the one guy pretty
Speaker 3: accomplished that just you know, the question was some of
Speaker 3: is that going to be sustainable?
Speaker 2: Is that going to keep going? And so I think
Speaker 2: you're looking for that. I think that's your trait.
Speaker 3: You had that one twelve year blip with the guy
Speaker 3: with the white jeans and the flip flops.
Speaker 2: But other than that, what kind of guy?
Speaker 1: What kind of guys should they date?
Speaker 3: I think you should date someone who's honest with you
Speaker 3: and themselves. You know what they want in their life
Speaker 3: and what you want from your life, and and they're
Speaker 3: honest about it, and you know that they know who
Speaker 3: they are, and they understand who you are and that
Speaker 3: you can coexist together understanding that you know, there are
Speaker 3: things that are important to you, so those things have
Speaker 3: to continue. You want to continue doing your lifestyle and
Speaker 3: continue to improve and be better every day at what
Speaker 3: you're doing.
Speaker 2: It's just who you are. You're not going to stop
Speaker 2: doing that.
Speaker 3: Or whoever it is has to has to understand that,
Speaker 3: and then you probably have to understand.
Speaker 2: It for them too. But I think you, I really
Speaker 2: did think you would.
Speaker 3: I mean if you had the professional person and the
Speaker 3: accomplished person, and you know, I don't want your listeners
Speaker 3: to think that you're out looking for mister wealthy. And
Speaker 3: it's not that I don't think it didn't work out
Speaker 3: with your engagement because you were afraid that he wasn't
Speaker 3: going to be.
Speaker 2: You know, mister Silicon Valley eye.
Speaker 3: But I mean, you're just looking for someone that's going
Speaker 3: to have stability and professional growth and looking for growth
Speaker 3: as a person as an individual, like and setting goals together,
Speaker 3: someone that's honest, So like setting lifetime goals.
Speaker 2: I want to I want to be.
Speaker 3: Here with you in five or ten years, you know maybe,
Speaker 3: and I talk about it this is this is kind
Speaker 3: of where do we want to be in ten years?
Speaker 2: Where do I want to be with you? What do
Speaker 2: we want to do? Where do we want to live?
Speaker 1: You know, it's interesting because like that's what I do
Speaker 1: with seeing Teddy is I talk to them about like
Speaker 1: what you know, in five years, what their plans are,
Speaker 1: and like, you know, how I can help them. And
Speaker 1: you know, we always talk together, but I've never had
Speaker 1: that conversation with anyone. I've never asked anyone what they
Speaker 1: were going to do or what, you know, what they
Speaker 1: wanted to do. I mean with the girls, you know
Speaker 1: sees like you know, mommy, now every now that I
Speaker 1: had this great job and I'm feeling good about my
Speaker 1: you know, financial success. You know, I once a year
Speaker 1: I wanted, I want us to go on a great
Speaker 1: trip with Teddy and you know, for us to do
Speaker 1: these kind of things, and like, I mean it's just
Speaker 1: I like, I've never heard that from anyone. So it's
Speaker 1: also for me. It's just so amazing to you know,
Speaker 1: think of my think of my daughters in that way.
Speaker 1: But I also want them to you know, have their
Speaker 1: own lives and to you know, be the best versions
Speaker 1: of themselves. And I just want, you know, I want
Speaker 1: to be there and watch every part of it. But
Speaker 1: I've never never had that, never sent someone like, Okay,
Speaker 1: in five years, we're going to go We're going to
Speaker 1: be in flore you know, whatever it is, like Florida
Speaker 1: or I know, Texas, wherever it is, Puerto Rico, wherever.
Speaker 1: No one's ever ever had that conversation with me, well,
Speaker 1: whoever asked me. I've ever even said, like what are
Speaker 1: your thoughts? Like what do you what are the what
Speaker 1: are your like lifetime goals or like even that any
Speaker 1: of those kind of questions, I've never I've never even
Speaker 1: kind of I never even thought of those.
Speaker 3: It should it should be a natural conversation that just
Speaker 3: involves with the person and with your breakup. You know.
Speaker 3: The unfortunate thing about him is that he's not his
Speaker 3: and that might be part of the reason for that breakup.
Speaker 3: Is like his kids are so much younger than your kids.
Speaker 3: He has one child that's still in elementary school and
Speaker 3: two other kids that are not even to college yet.
Speaker 2: So his life is completely unavailable.
Speaker 3: He can't well, I mean I felt like he was
Speaker 3: available as much as he could, but I mean I
Speaker 3: almost felt like when he was with me, with.
Speaker 2: Us, or like if he was at a holiday or whatever.
Speaker 3: It felt a little guilty to me that he wasn't
Speaker 3: with his other kids, because I think his other kids
Speaker 3: are amazing.
Speaker 2: They're great kids, you know.
Speaker 3: That was That's a loss for me, is those kids
Speaker 3: not being able to see them because I just thought
Speaker 3: they were impressive. And he's a good dad that way,
Speaker 3: and love those kids. So but the problem coming back,
Speaker 3: I'm doing my circle.
Speaker 2: Like you did.
Speaker 3: Is the point is maybe he wasn't ready to talk
Speaker 3: about those long term goals because he couldn't see past
Speaker 3: getting kids through high school.
Speaker 2: Really, so we need.
Speaker 3: To find somebody that's honest with themselves and honest with
Speaker 3: you and you know, can see can see a future
Speaker 3: like where we're going to go?
Speaker 2: What are we going to do?
Speaker 3: And it doesn't have to be like are we going
Speaker 3: to move somewhere else, but like what do we want
Speaker 3: to you know, do we want to take Like should
Speaker 3: we plan a trip next year? Should we you know,
Speaker 3: do we want to what do we want to do
Speaker 3: for our holidays?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 1: You know what's interesting is that like when I said
Speaker 1: to him, you know, when we were talking, you know,
Speaker 1: because I've never never been on a honeymoon, and so
Speaker 1: I said, you know, because we're, you know, taking off
Speaker 1: to get married. I said, why don't we take all
Speaker 1: the kids to Disneyland for our for our basic for
Speaker 1: our honeymoon. And he kind of looked at me. It's crazy.
Speaker 1: But I wanted to do something for us, like all
Speaker 1: of us. I didn't want to just do something that
Speaker 1: was like him and I just going off and going
Speaker 1: on a trip and coming back and being like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I want to do something that would like really was
Speaker 1: like family building. That's no, I know, but I've never
Speaker 1: been on a honeymoon. I don't even know what honeymoon's life.
Speaker 3: Honeymoon is simple. You go away and kind of a
Speaker 3: week with your new bride and then you come home
Speaker 3: or a husband.
Speaker 1: I mean, what do you mean, Well, I never did that,
Speaker 1: So I mean, if you don't remember, I got married
Speaker 1: and then my ex husband went off and I don't
Speaker 1: know if he went to like fashion Week or something.
Speaker 2: I don't remember that.
Speaker 1: But Kelly Tommy, do you think I should get married again? No?
Speaker 2: Wait, I forgot about that.
Speaker 3: I forgot about that about him going to fashion week,
Speaker 3: And that is horrible.
Speaker 2: How do you not you know, have a honeymoon, even
Speaker 2: if it's a couple of days.
Speaker 1: I never we went. I never went on hoymoon.
Speaker 2: Well, and that's just part of the reason why. That
Speaker 2: was just you know, there was a lot of things
Speaker 2: that were just not going to be successful there that,
Speaker 2: you know, I.
Speaker 3: Mean, the fact that that was not a consideration for
Speaker 3: him is hard.
Speaker 2: That's really hard.
Speaker 3: And that's just I'm getting emotional thinking about it.
Speaker 2: Kelly. I'm just so sorry. That is interesting a broken
Speaker 2: part of your life.
Speaker 1: I mean, I honestly feel like and maybe this is
Speaker 1: like maybe just like talking to you about this is
Speaker 1: maybe like maybe having me come to a realization that
Speaker 1: you know, like I I didn't have to you know,
Speaker 1: you or my twin brother, I didn't have to take
Speaker 1: care of you. You took care of yourself and we
Speaker 1: did things together. But I always felt that I always,
Speaker 1: like with Jille, I always had to take care of him.
Speaker 1: I always had to organize everything. I had to like
Speaker 1: you know, when he came back, I had to make
Speaker 1: sure that like you know, he had like you know,
Speaker 1: a place, a good place to live and a place
Speaker 1: to do things, and you know, there was an environment
Speaker 1: for him that he you know, he had friends, and
Speaker 1: I was always taking care of him, and that obviously
Speaker 1: taking care of my girls. And just some people are
Speaker 1: nurtures and some people are I happened to be a nurturer.
Speaker 1: I happened to love making sure that people are healthy
Speaker 1: and happy and successful. It's just like part of.
Speaker 2: Who I am.
Speaker 1: But I realized because when I started this whole process,
Speaker 1: I said to my producer, I was like, I'd love
Speaker 1: to do this podcast, but I'm not going to do
Speaker 1: it if I don't go through therapy. And so I started,
Speaker 1: you know, I was doing I was going through therapy
Speaker 1: and being on the podcast at the same time. And
Speaker 1: one thing that I realized is that I don't want
Speaker 1: to be in a relationship where I'm nurturing the other
Speaker 1: person because that just puts me again. I'm off, I'm
Speaker 1: always on my back foot. I'm always like how do
Speaker 1: I how do I? How do I take care of things?
Speaker 1: How do I organize things? How do I? And I
Speaker 1: just don't want that in the next chapter of my life.
Speaker 1: I want to I just want to feel like I'm
Speaker 1: in a hug. I just want to like come home
Speaker 1: and be like, oh, I don't want to be. You know,
Speaker 1: it's like I've always been I'm gonna start crying, but
Speaker 1: I've always felt so alone.
Speaker 2: And you're not alone, Keilly.
Speaker 3: I know you are people that love me, including me,
Speaker 3: I know, kids in your kids.
Speaker 2: But.
Speaker 3: Thank you you're so let's go back to the answer
Speaker 3: to the original question, which is should you get married again?
Speaker 3: And you were kind of asking it in a funny way,
Speaker 3: and absolutely, one hundred percent you should get married again. Now,
Speaker 3: you're a therapist who is probably some New York crack
Speaker 3: pot will probably say that's wrong, but I don't really care.
Speaker 1: No, she actually said you should get married for the
Speaker 1: first time, is what she said.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, you.
Speaker 3: Know, I mean I'm a lawyer, so I don't know
Speaker 3: about this stuff, but you know, but I mean, it
Speaker 3: just seems like to me that having a mate is
Speaker 3: really important, you know.
Speaker 2: And I was some we were having I was having
Speaker 2: a conversation with me.
Speaker 3: About like there are people that have gotten that that
Speaker 3: have been widowed or you know, and and or older,
Speaker 3: and they're like, oh, I'm not gonna get why would
Speaker 3: I get married again?
Speaker 2: You know, I don't want to get married again.
Speaker 3: It just I think to myself and maybe I'm a
Speaker 3: dumb asset, but I'm like, why wouldn't you want to
Speaker 3: get married again? Why do you not want to have
Speaker 3: that person that cares for you every day that you
Speaker 3: can count on that you've got that text from or
Speaker 3: that call from or like it's what We're going to
Speaker 3: do something together and it's going to be good.
Speaker 2: May not be quick all the time, but a lot
Speaker 2: of times it's going to be good. So yes, you
Speaker 2: should get married again. And I'm glad. I'm smart. Like
Speaker 2: the therapist.
Speaker 1: Married for the first time she met, like have like
Speaker 1: a real marriage, like a real She's like, that's what
Speaker 1: you always wanted to the family, for your family. She's like,
Speaker 1: go and get it. I'm like, Okay, I agree with her.
Speaker 3: Maybe she's not as crazy crock Pat crock Pat or
Speaker 3: whatever a New Yorker as I said.
Speaker 2: Maybe she does some sense.
Speaker 1: So since I've been on the podcast, have you noticed anything?
Speaker 1: I mean we have, I haven't gotten to see you
Speaker 1: that much this year, But have you noticed anything different
Speaker 1: about me?
Speaker 2: They're like, no, yes, is that the right answer? No?
Speaker 1: Do you think I'm more open? Do you think I'm funnier?
Speaker 1: Maybe not?
Speaker 2: You know, I don't think there's been a big change.
Speaker 3: But I do feel like you, you know, you've you've
Speaker 3: got to give yourself a chance to be with somebody that.
Speaker 2: You know, you got to give somebody a chance, and
Speaker 2: they got to give you a chance.
Speaker 3: And and you know, it's really difficult.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 3: The one thing that that Dips Pascal said on that
Speaker 3: podcast I did agree with.
Speaker 2: I kind of liked it.
Speaker 1: What did he say?
Speaker 3: He said that, you know, if you're going to go
Speaker 3: out with people, you shouldn't always expect that this you're
Speaker 3: going to go out.
Speaker 2: On a date and meet your future mate.
Speaker 3: You should go into it with the expectation that maybe
Speaker 3: I'm going to meet somebody or make a friend, which
Speaker 3: you know, secretly, I think if you're going on on
Speaker 3: a date, you kind of have that hope right that
Speaker 3: I'm going to meet the person that I'm going to
Speaker 3: you know, hopefully this will turn into romantic.
Speaker 2: Yeah. But I guess really.
Speaker 3: For I guess what he maybe what he's really trying
Speaker 3: to say is, look, don't put so much pressure on
Speaker 3: it when you go out with somebody, you know, don't
Speaker 3: give them the a whole bunch of questions. Just find
Speaker 3: out about them, and you know, let them find out
Speaker 3: a little bit about you, and you know, just kind
Speaker 3: of be honest because at this point in your life,
Speaker 3: just you know, I think honesty's the best policy to say. Look,
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm after a future. You know, you seem great.
Speaker 3: Can we do this together? What are you after? And
Speaker 3: if the guy is just like a social climber or
Speaker 3: somebody that just wants to, you know, get his picture
Speaker 3: taken with you, then you know you'll figure that out
Speaker 3: pretty quickly.
Speaker 1: It's interesting because one of my friends on the podcast's
Speaker 1: her name is Cheryl Burke and she's on Dancing with
Speaker 1: the Stars and she is such an amazing human. I
Speaker 1: love her so much. And she said that she's like
Speaker 1: Cheryl Brooke, Cheryl Brooke from Dancing. Sorry, she's amazing. I
Speaker 1: love her.
Speaker 2: She celebates an incredible dancer. Should watch her all the time. Lohh,
Speaker 2: my god.
Speaker 1: She's so cool and we've become really good friends. And
Speaker 1: she said to me, she was like, I she goes,
Speaker 1: you need to ask more questions, and she goes, not,
Speaker 1: she goes, some people are like you have to ask,
Speaker 1: like how many kids? Like all these things. She's like, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: she goes, you're not answering asking the right questions. She goes,
Speaker 1: if a guy is divorced, you can ask, Okay, why
Speaker 1: are you divorced? But she goes, don't go into it.
Speaker 1: She goes, the way he tells you, you know why
Speaker 1: he's got divorced. So it's like whether there was infidelity,
Speaker 1: if there's no sex or whatever it was. So I
Speaker 1: really really love that my friend Deanna, we've become really
Speaker 1: really good friends after spending a lot of time together.
Speaker 1: And she was telling me how she doesn't know that
Speaker 1: if she would ever get married, you know again, and
Speaker 1: if she did, she did from having a prenap, which
Speaker 1: is all these things are great. But she was really
Speaker 1: good too with me and saying that, like and she's
Speaker 1: done a lot of work on herself, and she just
Speaker 1: said that like that I'm not asking the right questions
Speaker 1: and that I need to listen what they're saying and
Speaker 1: move on. And you know, you just said that, you
Speaker 1: said the same thing. You said, like you need to
Speaker 1: find out like what their goals are, like what do
Speaker 1: you want to sail for the rest of your life
Speaker 1: or you know, to the sunset? Like are you, you know,
Speaker 1: in a ten year plan of work? Like what did it?
Speaker 3: Is it? So?
Speaker 2: I agree with Deanna, you need a prenup. You need this,
Speaker 2: you need that.
Speaker 3: Maybe you to need a prenup right with that particular
Speaker 3: last relationship you need?
Speaker 1: Yes, but agreed, agreed. I wouldn't. I don't know if
Speaker 1: I would. There's there would be. There are certain situations
Speaker 1: where I probably might. I wouldn't get a prenup.
Speaker 3: I mean you might go in and figure out that
Speaker 3: maybe you don't need it, and right, you know, anyway,
Speaker 3: I just don't.
Speaker 2: I don't think you should go. I'm not getting married again.
Speaker 2: I'm going to get a prenup. I'm doing this, I'm
Speaker 2: doing that. Maybe I don't know.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no no, I'm open to it.
Speaker 2: All.
Speaker 1: I know that I know my person is out there.
Speaker 1: I love you, Tommy. Do you have any parting advice
Speaker 1: Tommy to give to my listeners on I Tube perdue.
Speaker 1: They are gonna love you, They're going to eat you up.
Speaker 2: What's notts of love advice? You get out there and
Speaker 2: find it, listeners. It's out there for you.
Speaker 3: There are great people all over this country waiting to meet.
Speaker 2: You, So go find them and be happy. I love you, Kelly, so.
Speaker 1: Love you Tommy, Happy birthday, Happy Birthday. This has been
Speaker 1: so much fun. Thank you Tommy for coming on the podcast.
Speaker 1: Are you single after a divorce and needing some guidance?
Speaker 1: I am here to help. Email us or call us.
Speaker 1: We're here to help. All the infos in the show notes,
Speaker 1: follow us on socials, and make sure to rate and
Speaker 1: review the podcast I Do Part two and iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 1: We're Falling in Love is the main objective.