WEBVTT - Part Three: Napoleon III: The Worst Bonaparte 0:00:03.040 --> 0:00:07.520 Test tests. Wow, Jesus gosh, I can't believe Sophie just 0:00:07.560 --> 0:00:13.600 said that about the entire nation of Paraguay. Strange. Wow. 0:00:13.640 --> 0:00:15.280 I feel like I say that like once a week. 0:00:15.280 --> 0:00:19.160 People are going to be angry when they hear this episode. Wow. 0:00:20.000 --> 0:00:23.040 I mean it's just like, first of all Monte videos 0:00:23.079 --> 0:00:27.720 in Uruguay, I know, right, like immediately obvious problem. But 0:00:27.840 --> 0:00:30.480 second of all, I just don't I've never heard that 0:00:30.560 --> 0:00:36.680 particular stereotype. I'm shocked. It's incredible, honestly impressed the creativity 0:00:37.520 --> 0:00:42.080 every week. How are you not picking up on it? Wow? Anyway, 0:00:42.120 --> 0:00:45.360 this is behind the bastards. Chief bastard being our producer, 0:00:45.520 --> 0:00:50.480 Sophie Lichterman and her Actually I don't know enough about 0:00:50.479 --> 0:00:57.240 Paraguay to fill this joke out anyway, to dig into 0:00:57.800 --> 0:01:00.640 that's how little known Paraguay is of the staff of 0:01:00.680 --> 0:01:04.160 this podcast. Yeah, I know it's one of the guys. Yeah, 0:01:04.160 --> 0:01:06.600 there's a second Guay. Let's lean on that one. I 0:01:06.600 --> 0:01:09.720 feel like it's a landlocked way. I feel like all 0:01:09.760 --> 0:01:13.000 the Guays are landlocked, right, you're aga. I feel like 0:01:13.200 --> 0:01:17.759 isn't landlocked? Is no? I think You'uguay is pretty landlocked. 0:01:18.680 --> 0:01:21.399 There's no way to answer this question with For example, 0:01:21.480 --> 0:01:23.959 the devices were all using to record this podct. I 0:01:23.959 --> 0:01:27.880 did google what are major stereotypes people have about Paraguay 0:01:27.920 --> 0:01:30.440 into what extent are they true? And the first answer 0:01:30.480 --> 0:01:34.080 is there the short answer there really isn't anything special 0:01:34.160 --> 0:01:41.840 in quotes about it. So I think they really like 0:01:42.360 --> 0:01:45.800 they really like Lady Gaga. Oh wow, yeah, you can't 0:01:45.800 --> 0:01:49.040 get them shutting up about Lady Yeah, I think that's true. 0:01:49.320 --> 0:01:54.320 Bunch of monsters. Did you call them monsters something like that? Yeah, 0:01:54.600 --> 0:01:57.720 I've forgotten most of the things about Lady Gaga. Um, 0:01:59.720 --> 0:02:02.920 I don't know nothing. I just don't remember. So much 0:02:02.960 --> 0:02:06.640 has happened since Lady Gaga was in the news. Yeah, 0:02:06.880 --> 0:02:11.400 it's like literally, yeah, what do you remember about Ashton Kutcher? 0:02:11.520 --> 0:02:14.560 Very little? I remember that his name is not Aston, 0:02:16.520 --> 0:02:22.240 there's Ashton Ashton. That's how little I remembered his name. 0:02:22.680 --> 0:02:24.760 That's how I told you. I don't remember much about 0:02:24.760 --> 0:02:27.639 the man in action with him. I was at a 0:02:27.639 --> 0:02:30.280 coffee shop. He was ahead of me in line. He 0:02:30.440 --> 0:02:34.280 forgot his wallet and went back to his car to 0:02:34.320 --> 0:02:36.880 pay for his two dollar coffee. Instead of being an 0:02:36.880 --> 0:02:39.400 asshole celebrity. That was like well, I'm Ashton Kutcher, so 0:02:39.440 --> 0:02:42.680 I'm just gonna take this. I offered to pay for it, 0:02:42.800 --> 0:02:45.200 and then when I got up there, I'd be like, 0:02:45.840 --> 0:02:49.240 psych he just got punked. And then I would have 0:02:49.280 --> 0:02:51.919 waited for him to see if I was joking or not, 0:02:52.639 --> 0:02:57.720 and then I would just to be clever, so clever. 0:02:57.960 --> 0:03:04.680 That's very generous for this bit. Podcast is not about 0:03:04.760 --> 0:03:08.400 Ashton or Ashton Kutcher. This is no This is a 0:03:08.440 --> 0:03:15.519 podcast where I don't know okay, sopranos podcast sorry, where 0:03:15.560 --> 0:03:19.119 we talk about I don't know Soprano's character book a Tibeppo. 0:03:22.120 --> 0:03:24.440 You gotta learn names, man, you gotta know. One of 0:03:24.520 --> 0:03:28.399 them's name is Soprano. It is to Tony right, Tony, Yeah, yeah, 0:03:28.440 --> 0:03:31.520 I got it, I got it. I remember that, and 0:03:31.560 --> 0:03:35.600 I remember a lot about Napoleon the Third who we 0:03:35.640 --> 0:03:38.440 are who we are talking about now. When we left 0:03:38.480 --> 0:03:40.920 off with our hero, he has just tried to take 0:03:40.960 --> 0:03:44.240 over France, failed, shot a man in the face for 0:03:44.280 --> 0:03:47.680 no reason, and then repeatedly attempted to commit suicide as 0:03:47.720 --> 0:03:53.680 he was taken to jail. Yeah. So not a great coup, yeah, 0:03:53.840 --> 0:03:58.680 one of the worst. But I respect the attempt. I 0:03:58.720 --> 0:04:00.960 always respect a good coup at him. I always respect 0:04:01.000 --> 0:04:03.720 a good at coup attempt, right, Um, this is I 0:04:03.760 --> 0:04:05.840 have to I think, you know, it's debatable. Is this 0:04:05.880 --> 0:04:09.080 the worst coup attempt than Hitler's. You know, Hitler's ended 0:04:09.080 --> 0:04:11.200 with him and all of his men getting machine gunned 0:04:11.200 --> 0:04:13.520 in the street. Uh, and then he did try to 0:04:13.600 --> 0:04:18.080 kill himself. But there's something about the impotence of shooting 0:04:18.120 --> 0:04:21.040 an unarmed man in the face for no reason whatever, 0:04:21.640 --> 0:04:27.600 in the mouth, like, come on, man, yeah he was there. 0:04:27.960 --> 0:04:30.279 It's a weird panic button, you know what I mean. 0:04:30.560 --> 0:04:33.719 Or you're just like, I'm panicking. Where's the nearest mouth. 0:04:33.839 --> 0:04:36.520 It was the nearest mouth that can put a fucking 0:04:36.600 --> 0:04:41.000 musket ball in good lord. Yeah, that's what you do 0:04:41.080 --> 0:04:44.720 when some people, you know, some people play better when 0:04:44.760 --> 0:04:47.719 they're panicking. Not him, not him. No, he did not. 0:04:47.880 --> 0:04:52.040 He did not rise to the moments. He didn't. This 0:04:52.440 --> 0:04:55.880 the opposite of Michael Jordan's flu game. This was if 0:04:55.920 --> 0:05:00.520 Michael Jordan's had the flu during Game four the NBA 0:05:00.760 --> 0:05:08.240 Finals and then shot Scottie Pippen in the mouth. Because 0:05:08.279 --> 0:05:10.680 I forget which game was the flu game. I mean 0:05:10.680 --> 0:05:13.360 it might have been a game too. And uh, was 0:05:13.400 --> 0:05:15.159 it game five when he had the flu? Believe it 0:05:15.200 --> 0:05:18.760 was game six games So so he won an NBA 0:05:18.839 --> 0:05:25.000 final with the flu. That's crazy. Michael Jordan's pretty amazing 0:05:25.040 --> 0:05:32.120 basketball play. A lot of people the Napoleon Finals against 0:05:32.160 --> 0:05:39.640 the Jazz So Napoleon. So the reaction in the media 0:05:40.200 --> 0:05:42.400 and the reaction in general from like the government to 0:05:42.480 --> 0:05:45.240 Coup two was very different from Coup number one. One 0:05:45.279 --> 0:05:48.760 newspaper proposed that Napoleon the Third might have dementia. The 0:05:48.800 --> 0:05:51.880 government of Louis Philippe, who is the king, described the 0:05:51.920 --> 0:05:54.920 attack as a vain and vicious attempt to overthrow the government, 0:05:54.960 --> 0:05:57.880 during which an unarmed soldier had nearly been murdered, which 0:05:57.960 --> 0:06:01.359 was accurate. Um, So this is, you know, the first 0:06:01.360 --> 0:06:04.240 time Louis Philippe kind of just wants to usher him out, 0:06:04.279 --> 0:06:05.680 like they have a court case, but he doesn't want 0:06:05.720 --> 0:06:07.280 him in the country. He doesn't really want to like 0:06:07.880 --> 0:06:10.839 punish it too harshly to his I don't know, very 0:06:10.920 --> 0:06:14.599 mild credit. Louis Philippe reacts more stringently to this one, 0:06:14.920 --> 0:06:19.440 but it and it's interesting because his Louis, Louis Napoleon's dad, 0:06:20.000 --> 0:06:23.240 Louis Bonaparte, has mostly been very much against all the 0:06:23.279 --> 0:06:25.480 things his son has tried to do, and was against 0:06:25.480 --> 0:06:28.400 this coup attempt. But the invective against his son and 0:06:28.480 --> 0:06:31.200 like the public media and from the French government forces 0:06:31.279 --> 0:06:36.000 Louis Bonaparte to actually finally stand up in his son's defense. Now, okay, okay, 0:06:36.040 --> 0:06:40.120 and my son's defense. Yeah, he's really bad at everything, 0:06:40.640 --> 0:06:45.080 and he didn't succeed, and so what do you know, 0:06:45.360 --> 0:06:48.760 it's wayne when he had fun. We had fun, everyone 0:06:48.800 --> 0:06:51.600 had fun. It's interesting. That's actually not that far from 0:06:51.640 --> 0:06:54.279 what he does. So obviously, being the guy that he 0:06:54.360 --> 0:06:56.440 is and being a principled man, he can't defend his 0:06:56.480 --> 0:06:59.320 son's attempt to overthrow the government, nor he can he offend, 0:06:59.520 --> 0:07:02.880 like defend like shooting a man in the face. So 0:07:03.080 --> 0:07:05.120 instead of doing that, he writes a letter to be 0:07:05.160 --> 0:07:07.640 published in the Italian press which complains that his son 0:07:07.760 --> 0:07:11.680 is quote the victim of an infamous conspiracy, seduced by flatterers, 0:07:11.680 --> 0:07:15.880 false friends, and perhaps from insidious advice. So he's basically 0:07:17.120 --> 0:07:19.760 he was. He was like, it's like a cult thing, right, 0:07:19.760 --> 0:07:21.760 like he got he got wrapped up in by some 0:07:21.840 --> 0:07:23.800 bad people. But he's not a bad kid. He just 0:07:23.840 --> 0:07:27.000 got given some bad advice. You know that is not 0:07:27.120 --> 0:07:30.400 completely wrong, because that's part of what happened, Right, Louis 0:07:30.480 --> 0:07:33.360 Napoleon is not a very smart guy, and he's very 0:07:33.440 --> 0:07:35.840 vulnerable to the people around him if they're nice to him. 0:07:36.040 --> 0:07:38.000 This is to continue to be a factor in his 0:07:38.080 --> 0:07:41.400 life through his entire reign. And I think some of 0:07:41.400 --> 0:07:44.000 this is that actually Louis Bonaparte kind of understands his 0:07:44.080 --> 0:07:47.800 son um, but he also he's a little blinded too, 0:07:47.840 --> 0:07:49.960 because he can't believe that his son was really a 0:07:50.040 --> 0:07:53.080 driving force behind the attempt. Writing the quote, it is 0:07:53.160 --> 0:07:56.200 quite impossible that a man surely not lacking the financial 0:07:56.200 --> 0:07:58.760 means and common sense, should have, with his eyes wide open, 0:07:59.000 --> 0:08:02.880 willingly thrown himself over such a political precipice. Basically, like, 0:08:03.080 --> 0:08:04.680 look if he if he did, if he was a 0:08:04.760 --> 0:08:06.400 driving factor behind this, he would have had to be 0:08:06.440 --> 0:08:09.880 an idiot. And I know he's not an idiot, right, Yerey, 0:08:10.000 --> 0:08:15.840 you are his dad. I can't blame you for specialty. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0:08:15.960 --> 0:08:19.080 So Louis Napoleon goes to court, uh, this time he's 0:08:19.120 --> 0:08:21.200 actually in country for it, and it does not go 0:08:21.320 --> 0:08:23.560 well for him law wise. Again, he's gotten kind of 0:08:23.600 --> 0:08:27.440 like he got off the hook basically last time. Um, 0:08:27.440 --> 0:08:31.280 but yeah, he got two dollars, yeah, and acquitted. He's 0:08:31.320 --> 0:08:33.520 not going to get acquitted this time. But it actually 0:08:33.600 --> 0:08:36.679 kind of goes better for him because Louis Napoleon is 0:08:36.720 --> 0:08:39.400 dumb in a lot of ways, but he understands some 0:08:39.480 --> 0:08:43.040 things about politics and the new mass media that no 0:08:43.080 --> 0:08:46.040 one has figured out yet. Um. And, as Hitler was 0:08:46.080 --> 0:08:47.960 going to learn about eighty years later, if you're on 0:08:48.080 --> 0:08:51.080 trial for trying to overthrow the government, you can do 0:08:51.200 --> 0:08:54.040 pretty well by firing off a populist rant that makes 0:08:54.080 --> 0:08:58.480 the case for your reign. Um. Yeah, and uh, here's 0:08:58.559 --> 0:09:01.600 here's the speech that he gives, or an exert from 0:09:01.600 --> 0:09:04.360 the speech that he gives in court. For the first 0:09:04.400 --> 0:09:06.120 time in my life, I have been permitted to speak 0:09:06.160 --> 0:09:08.520 in France and to speak freely before the French people, 0:09:08.760 --> 0:09:10.559 in spite of the guards on either side of me, 0:09:10.640 --> 0:09:12.640 In spite of all the accusations I have just heard, 0:09:12.840 --> 0:09:15.080 I find myself here within the walls of the Senate 0:09:15.160 --> 0:09:17.679 that I had first visited as a child, with Napoleon 0:09:17.960 --> 0:09:20.320 in your midst, you whom I know, gentlemen, I do 0:09:20.360 --> 0:09:22.840 not believe that I have to justify myself, nor that 0:09:22.880 --> 0:09:25.760 you could be my judges. A solemn occasion has offered 0:09:25.760 --> 0:09:28.400 me here to explain to my fellow citizens my conduct, 0:09:28.559 --> 0:09:31.600 my intentions, my projects, what I think and what I desire. 0:09:31.840 --> 0:09:34.400 The nation has never revoked the Grand Act of Sovereignty, 0:09:34.440 --> 0:09:37.360 the one that had established Napoleon Bonaparte's kingdom, And as 0:09:37.400 --> 0:09:40.240 the Emperor himself said, everything done without adhering to it 0:09:40.360 --> 0:09:43.120 is illegal, and that includes this trial. And to do 0:09:43.200 --> 0:09:44.840 not think for a moment that I might have wanted 0:09:44.840 --> 0:09:48.000 to attempt any imperial restoration in France without the backing 0:09:48.040 --> 0:09:50.360 of the people of this country through a plebiscite. As 0:09:50.400 --> 0:09:53.160 for my undertaking, and alone I had no other accomplices. 0:09:53.240 --> 0:09:56.000 I alone am responsible. I represent before you a principle, 0:09:56.080 --> 0:09:58.760 a cause, and a defeat one principle, the sovereignty of 0:09:58.800 --> 0:10:01.160 the people, the cause stead of our empire, and to 0:10:01.280 --> 0:10:05.960 defeat Waterloo. So he's saying, like, you know, the government 0:10:06.000 --> 0:10:08.880 that my uncle established is still legitimate. This court has 0:10:08.920 --> 0:10:11.480 no right to hold me for anything. But also I 0:10:11.520 --> 0:10:13.680 never wanted to become the emperor without a plebiscite. I 0:10:13.720 --> 0:10:15.440 was only trying to do what I think the people 0:10:15.480 --> 0:10:17.280 wanted me to do, right, I was just going to 0:10:17.400 --> 0:10:21.280 do a coup and then see if people were cool 0:10:21.400 --> 0:10:24.080 with that. You know, that's why it's called a coup. 0:10:24.360 --> 0:10:27.360 And it's not really the cool because a coup because 0:10:27.360 --> 0:10:31.600 like Napoleon's constitution is still valid clearly, right, yeah, is 0:10:31.600 --> 0:10:33.800 it a coup if you guys are the ones who 0:10:33.800 --> 0:10:38.840 originally did the coup exactly, the Bourbon restorations, who Cou 0:10:39.160 --> 0:10:43.840 who Cou? Who? Whose line is it? Anyway? Cou'se line 0:10:43.880 --> 0:10:48.400 isn't any whatever. So this goes really well for him actually, 0:10:48.400 --> 0:10:51.199 because again Louis philip is a terrible king. Right, we're 0:10:51.280 --> 0:10:53.760 laughing at Louis Napoleon, but Louis Philippe is not a 0:10:53.800 --> 0:10:56.360 good king, and his monarchy is kind of a ship show. 0:10:56.640 --> 0:10:59.600 People are very unhappy, and they hear this guy. He's 0:10:59.600 --> 0:11:02.280 hearkening back to this defeat which still wounds the French 0:11:02.320 --> 0:11:05.120 soul Waterloo and the victories and of Napoleon before it, 0:11:05.120 --> 0:11:07.800 and he's saying, like, look, we never stopped being those 0:11:07.800 --> 0:11:10.400 guys who could win. We just let guys like this 0:11:10.559 --> 0:11:12.840 tell us that we weren't there anymore. And if we 0:11:12.960 --> 0:11:15.199 get them, we can make France great again, right, that's 0:11:15.200 --> 0:11:17.760 what I mean. That's yeah, that's that's that's what he's saying, 0:11:17.840 --> 0:11:20.760 and it works really well. And the fact that this 0:11:20.800 --> 0:11:23.520 speech goes so well for Lewis Napoleon does not at 0:11:23.520 --> 0:11:25.600 all mitigate the King's desire to see him lock the 0:11:25.600 --> 0:11:27.880 funk away, right, Louis Philippe designs, I gotta keep this 0:11:27.960 --> 0:11:31.040 dude in a fucking cage, and on October six, Lewis 0:11:31.120 --> 0:11:34.080 Napoleon is sentenced to life in prison, which is honestly 0:11:34.360 --> 0:11:37.120 not an entirely unfair sentence for shooting an unarmed man 0:11:37.120 --> 0:11:40.040 in the face for absolutely no recent Yeah, yeah, but 0:11:40.280 --> 0:11:43.640 just beyond the even attempted coupart, just shooting a guy 0:11:43.679 --> 0:11:45.760 in the face. Look, I'm not a car serile guy, 0:11:45.840 --> 0:11:47.960 but of the things you might lock someone up for, 0:11:48.400 --> 0:11:50.760 randomly shooting a man in the face is not a 0:11:50.760 --> 0:11:53.320 bad one, right, Yeah, I mean we're talking about, like, 0:11:53.440 --> 0:11:57.760 you know, the eighteen forties France. Chances are you locking 0:11:57.800 --> 0:12:02.079 people away for far less? Yes, ex actly, exactly, um so, 0:12:02.200 --> 0:12:05.560 broadly speaking, and again, his his prison. This is not 0:12:06.040 --> 0:12:08.680 a hard prison, right, he is not locked away in 0:12:08.720 --> 0:12:11.040 the fucking beastial. This isn't some like limb Zer rob 0:12:11.160 --> 0:12:15.400 ship where he's breaking rocks or whatever while Javert sings 0:12:15.440 --> 0:12:18.640 at him. Um, he's he's got like a suite of 0:12:18.720 --> 0:12:22.320 rooms and what is effectively a castle. Um. He lives. 0:12:22.400 --> 0:12:24.160 He has all of the books that he wants. He 0:12:24.160 --> 0:12:28.520 gets regularly visited, he gets invited to dinner by the warden. Um. 0:12:28.600 --> 0:12:31.720 He is a celebrity prisoner. He lives better than a loop. 0:12:33.400 --> 0:12:37.480 He is in fact writing a book. Yes, um so 0:12:38.320 --> 0:12:41.360 uh and part of the Obviously, he shot a man 0:12:41.400 --> 0:12:43.800 in the face and tried to overthrow the government France 0:12:43.800 --> 0:12:48.160 has killed people for less. They were still guillotining dudes. Um, 0:12:48.200 --> 0:12:50.440 that would not have been out of the You could again, 0:12:50.480 --> 0:12:52.839 as the leader of the country, you can easily make 0:12:52.880 --> 0:12:57.000 a case for doing that. But Louis Napoleon or Louis Philippe, sorry, god, 0:12:57.000 --> 0:12:59.840 there's too many fucking lewis Is in this fucking series. 0:13:00.600 --> 0:13:04.160 King Louis Phillip can't do that because there's unrest building 0:13:04.160 --> 0:13:06.840 all throughout the country. And right around the time that 0:13:06.920 --> 0:13:10.120 Lewis Napoleon is on trial, he has finally agreed and 0:13:10.160 --> 0:13:13.400 carried out this massive logistical hurdle to bring the corpse 0:13:13.440 --> 0:13:16.760 of Napoleon Bonaparte back to France a decade after his death. 0:13:17.120 --> 0:13:20.920 So while all this is going on, the French government 0:13:20.960 --> 0:13:24.679 and military are preparing for this massive ceremony where Napoleon's 0:13:24.720 --> 0:13:27.760 corpses being carried through the country and put up. This 0:13:27.840 --> 0:13:32.400 is an actual thing, Like, yes, they're actually gonna exhume 0:13:32.520 --> 0:13:35.000 his corpse. Yeah yeah, they're gonna to take it and 0:13:35.040 --> 0:13:37.280 bury it in a crypt. Yeah, in in France, back 0:13:37.280 --> 0:13:40.200 on his home soil, well not his home soil because 0:13:40.200 --> 0:13:42.960 he was coursing, but whatever. Um. Yeah, So this is 0:13:43.200 --> 0:13:45.240 it's a it's a dangerous time. You don't want to 0:13:45.240 --> 0:13:49.320 be executing his nephew while people everyone is like weeping 0:13:49.400 --> 0:13:51.800 as his coffin is taken through the streets, right, because 0:13:51.800 --> 0:13:55.760 people still love Napoleon. The crowds to see Napoleon's casket 0:13:55.840 --> 0:13:58.680 numbered half a million men, many of them veterans. So 0:13:58.720 --> 0:14:01.160 again this is particular literally a crowd of people you 0:14:01.160 --> 0:14:03.360 don't want to piss off, Like there's half a million 0:14:03.360 --> 0:14:05.600 men in the street who have been under musket fire together. 0:14:06.000 --> 0:14:08.880 They stood for hours to watch his um you know, 0:14:08.920 --> 0:14:11.920 the whatever, the thing with the coffin pass, even though 0:14:11.960 --> 0:14:14.400 it was so half a million people standing for like 0:14:14.440 --> 0:14:16.320 a lot of eight to twelve hours to watch this 0:14:16.360 --> 0:14:20.080 procession when it is negative twenty two degrees fahrenheit outside. 0:14:20.480 --> 0:14:23.440 That's how much people love Napoleon. They really like this guy. 0:14:23.480 --> 0:14:28.400 They really like Napoleon. Yeah. It says also a lot 0:14:28.440 --> 0:14:32.680 about how much, you know, the Bourbons are sucking up 0:14:32.720 --> 0:14:37.880 all the time, you know, because they lose sleep is 0:14:37.920 --> 0:14:42.840 a he's a he's the duke to or Leon. Yeah yeah, yeah, 0:14:42.880 --> 0:14:45.800 but you know, I mean he is part of that family. 0:14:46.120 --> 0:14:48.680 He was just like because they're all yeah, yeah, they're 0:14:48.680 --> 0:14:53.320 all except well now the Bonapartes. Well yeah, but it 0:14:53.400 --> 0:14:55.440 just shows us how much they fucked up in that. 0:14:55.560 --> 0:14:57.680 Like at the end of like Napoleon's ringing, everyone's like, 0:14:57.680 --> 0:14:59.400 can we get this guy out? Because he keeps trying 0:14:59.440 --> 0:15:01.880 to do invasions of stuff. We just kind of retired 0:15:01.920 --> 0:15:05.040 of it. And at this point everyone's like, hey, remember 0:15:05.080 --> 0:15:08.320 when ship was cool? Yeah, when like Napoleon was around, 0:15:08.360 --> 0:15:12.000 they were just kicking those fucking Austrians asses, just like 0:15:12.080 --> 0:15:16.360 kicking everyone's ass, just like, oh dude, Ship was so sick. 0:15:17.040 --> 0:15:20.840 And also there was order, and people love remembering order. God, 0:15:20.920 --> 0:15:25.120 people do love order. Um As noted by the documentary 0:15:25.200 --> 0:15:30.560 whichever Star Wars movie was the most recent one. That's right, Actually, 0:15:31.000 --> 0:15:33.000 a Star Wars theme Law and Order could be a 0:15:33.000 --> 0:15:35.640 pretty fucking fun show. You could do a lot with that. 0:15:35.920 --> 0:15:39.160 You know it's gonna happen. You can make that work. 0:15:39.480 --> 0:15:44.280 You could make that work very well. Um. Anyway, Look, 0:15:44.320 --> 0:15:46.280 we're gonna have to skip ahead of it through the 0:15:46.280 --> 0:15:48.160 next piece of history because I have to tell you, 0:15:48.200 --> 0:15:50.080 this guy does so much in his fucking life. He's 0:15:50.080 --> 0:15:53.560 involved in so much shit. Uh. Anyway to summarize the 0:15:53.600 --> 0:15:55.640 next part of his story, what happens after he gets 0:15:55.640 --> 0:15:58.400 thrown in prison, I'm going to turn to yet another book, 0:15:58.600 --> 0:16:01.120 The Last Emperor of next a Code by Edward Shaw 0:16:01.200 --> 0:16:05.080 cross quote Undeterred. Six years later, while the prison was 0:16:05.120 --> 0:16:08.280 undergoing construction, Lewis Napoleon, dressed in the clothes of a workman, 0:16:08.440 --> 0:16:10.520 picked up a wooden plank, put it over his shoulder, 0:16:10.560 --> 0:16:13.160 and walked out the front gate before fleeing to London. 0:16:16.600 --> 0:16:19.880 It was so easy to break out of prisons. He 0:16:19.920 --> 0:16:22.280 didn't even have to get like a readA Hayworth poster 0:16:22.600 --> 0:16:27.120 and like a tiny little pickaxe he worked out. Yeah, 0:16:27.200 --> 0:16:31.200 it's just like, excuse me, I'm just going to move 0:16:31.240 --> 0:16:35.200 this wooden plank. This was before the invention of the door, 0:16:35.360 --> 0:16:37.920 so people really had no way to keep someone in something. 0:16:38.120 --> 0:16:41.440 All prisons had worked on the honor system previously. Exactly, 0:16:41.560 --> 0:16:43.160 it was like, hey, where are you going? He's like, 0:16:43.160 --> 0:16:46.040 oh no, he's a workman. He's the most famous friend. 0:16:46.200 --> 0:16:50.000 He has wood on his shoulder. It can't be him. 0:16:50.200 --> 0:16:53.520 He would never hold wood. Limperor would never hold the 0:16:53.520 --> 0:17:03.680 wooden He has not Bin Shapiro at home depot. Excuse me, 0:17:04.520 --> 0:17:08.360 I'm a hundred and fifty years apart. When the son 0:17:08.440 --> 0:17:11.800 of or the nephew of Napoleon Bonaparte and rich guy 0:17:11.840 --> 0:17:14.240 been Shapiro need to feel like a cut pretend to 0:17:14.240 --> 0:17:16.400 be a common man, they both picked the same tactic. 0:17:16.680 --> 0:17:19.080 Gonna get some wood, hold it up from my sheltering. 0:17:19.440 --> 0:17:22.359 It's the number one thing that rich people th work 0:17:22.680 --> 0:17:26.240 like working class people do. It's just whatever or do again. 0:17:26.600 --> 0:17:30.400 I think they just like hold wood and they that's 0:17:30.400 --> 0:17:32.439 what they do. That's what they do. Just told pieces 0:17:32.440 --> 0:17:37.080 of wood and say, oh, my brow has beads of 0:17:37.800 --> 0:17:41.240 sweat upon it. All right, I'm gonna continue that quote. 0:17:41.720 --> 0:17:43.400 And there it would have ended, had it not been 0:17:43.480 --> 0:17:46.760 for the providential moment. Louis Napoleon had been waiting for 0:17:46.960 --> 0:17:50.520 the European revolutions of eighteen forty eight. After the abdication 0:17:50.560 --> 0:17:53.040 of the French king, a republic was hastily proclaimed and 0:17:53.119 --> 0:17:56.760 elections announced, despite no experience of democratic politics or a 0:17:56.800 --> 0:18:00.720 political party to support him. Louis Napoleon grandiosely told a cousin, 0:18:00.920 --> 0:18:03.719 I'm going to Paris. A republic has been proclaimed. I 0:18:03.840 --> 0:18:07.400 must be its master. His cousin responded, you are dreaming 0:18:07.480 --> 0:18:11.120 as usual, and yet this is the wild thing. He's 0:18:11.160 --> 0:18:16.920 completely right. He wins this election in a fucking landslide. Um. Obviously, 0:18:17.119 --> 0:18:19.960 the fact that he's a Napoleon is most of what 0:18:20.040 --> 0:18:22.560 a lot of the voters need to hear. Um. And 0:18:22.600 --> 0:18:24.840 also that he had been very visibly in opposition to 0:18:24.880 --> 0:18:27.560 the hated king who had just been overthrown. Um. But 0:18:27.600 --> 0:18:30.840 he's also he's he is particularly unpopular with the people 0:18:30.880 --> 0:18:33.080 who had been the political elite and the only people 0:18:33.080 --> 0:18:35.520 who were able to vote previously to the proclamation of 0:18:35.560 --> 0:18:40.399 the republic. Alexis de Toqueville. Um, who's a political smart 0:18:40.440 --> 0:18:43.600 guy thinker. Um, he was he was there, he was there. 0:18:44.000 --> 0:18:47.760 Uh fucking um. I don't know what's a terrible political columnist. 0:18:47.840 --> 0:18:58.000 Rynick Um, he's there, Bill Crystal, Yeah, he's there. Bary Wise, Um, yeah, yeah, 0:18:59.400 --> 0:19:02.119 I'm sorry. People are gonna be so angry at me, 0:19:02.160 --> 0:19:04.919 all the scholars in the audience. But he does not 0:19:05.080 --> 0:19:07.800 like Louis Napoleon. He compares him to a dwarf who, quote, 0:19:08.000 --> 0:19:09.840 on the summit of a great wave, is able to 0:19:09.920 --> 0:19:12.480 scale a high cliff which a giant placed on dry 0:19:12.520 --> 0:19:15.399 ground would not be able to climb. Which is actually 0:19:15.440 --> 0:19:18.639 a really accurate summary of what's happened, right. It's not 0:19:18.800 --> 0:19:21.320 his own personal character because he has not accomplished a 0:19:21.359 --> 0:19:23.240 single thing in his life other than shooting that guy 0:19:23.280 --> 0:19:26.640 in the face. But there's this wave and he expertly 0:19:27.000 --> 0:19:30.280 the thing that he actually is good at is number one. 0:19:30.400 --> 0:19:32.639 He's he does have this degree of understanding of the 0:19:32.680 --> 0:19:35.199 French populace and he knows where to place himself to 0:19:35.200 --> 0:19:37.880 take advantage of this wave. Um. I guess my only 0:19:37.920 --> 0:19:40.000 disagreement with dak Fill there is that like that is 0:19:40.080 --> 0:19:42.919 actually a skill. It's a really dangerous skill, but it 0:19:43.000 --> 0:19:46.040 is a skill. Most people. It's a high political you know. 0:19:46.119 --> 0:19:48.520 It's like we all want to it's the same type 0:19:48.520 --> 0:19:51.640 of you know, like critique that people have of Trump 0:19:51.680 --> 0:19:55.920 where you're just like he's stupid and he's He's like, yeah, 0:19:56.080 --> 0:19:59.080 he's an idiot, Like he is dumb in a thousand ways, 0:19:59.160 --> 0:20:02.800 but he is very very good at manipulating people and 0:20:02.920 --> 0:20:05.160 he has a high political Like you, you would hope 0:20:05.160 --> 0:20:06.920 that like the thing we would get out of Trump, 0:20:06.960 --> 0:20:09.680 And also guys like Dr Oz and guys like what's 0:20:09.680 --> 0:20:13.640 the other fucking expert Ben Carson? Is that like, intelligence 0:20:13.680 --> 0:20:16.440 isn't a thing. People are good at things and they 0:20:16.440 --> 0:20:19.840 are bad at things, but nobody is smart, right, Like 0:20:19.960 --> 0:20:24.199 that's not the way brains work. Yes, exactly exactly, Like 0:20:24.280 --> 0:20:28.560 I'm really good at geography, but I'm an idiot, So 0:20:28.760 --> 0:20:31.200 me being good at geography doesn't make me a smart guy. 0:20:31.240 --> 0:20:34.320 It just means I'm good at one thing. And Elon 0:20:34.400 --> 0:20:38.360 Musk being a competent engineer in some specific things clearly 0:20:38.440 --> 0:20:41.520 does not make him smart in other ways. Yes, yes, 0:20:41.800 --> 0:20:44.920 it's very clearly. Like knowing why a blue check mark 0:20:45.080 --> 0:20:48.520 is a thing, it's it's good. Um, so I'm gonna 0:20:48.560 --> 0:20:51.840 continue that quote. Writer and politician Victor Hugo penned a 0:20:51.880 --> 0:20:55.240 series of vitriolic attacks on Louis Napoleon, one title Napoleon 0:20:55.320 --> 0:20:58.480 le petite, exhorting the French to look at this hog 0:20:58.520 --> 0:21:01.120 wallowing in his own slide him on a lion's skin. 0:21:01.640 --> 0:21:04.600 Even the Dolf Tears, leader of the conservative politicians in 0:21:04.600 --> 0:21:07.320 France who supported Louis Napoleon, thought him an idiot who 0:21:07.359 --> 0:21:10.520 could be easily controlled. Certainly, Louis Napoleon did not seem 0:21:10.560 --> 0:21:13.920 to have his uncle's drive, except when it came to women. Indeed, 0:21:14.080 --> 0:21:16.639 his mistress at this time and financial backer, was a 0:21:16.720 --> 0:21:20.400 notorious English courtisan and failed actress, a combination too much 0:21:20.480 --> 0:21:23.119 even for French politics. To the relief of many, the 0:21:23.160 --> 0:21:25.960 Constitution of the Republic limited the presidency to one four 0:21:26.040 --> 0:21:29.119 year term. Louis Napoleon, however, was not going to allow 0:21:29.119 --> 0:21:31.560 a constitution he had sworn to uphold to get in 0:21:31.560 --> 0:21:35.040 the way of destiny. So obviously, when he comes to 0:21:35.040 --> 0:21:37.920 power here forty eight, this is a year of massive 0:21:38.040 --> 0:21:40.360 left wing revolutions, a lot of which fall just kind 0:21:40.359 --> 0:21:43.160 of a little short of actually, you know, it's it's 0:21:43.160 --> 0:21:45.760 this kind of failed revolution year in a lot of points, 0:21:45.800 --> 0:21:47.760 not everywhere, but in a lot of ways. And prior 0:21:47.800 --> 0:21:50.679 to Napoleon the third. Most people who'd supported the return 0:21:50.720 --> 0:21:54.840 to monarchy anywhere were staunchly anti democratic. Right, there was 0:21:54.880 --> 0:21:58.200 a wide understanding that democratic government's inevitably led to radical 0:21:58.280 --> 0:22:01.800 left wing policies that would undermine and threatn elites. Napoleon 0:22:01.840 --> 0:22:04.240 the thirds great innovation, and the thing that actually is 0:22:04.240 --> 0:22:06.440 a kind of genius from him is that he saw 0:22:06.480 --> 0:22:09.760 that this was bullshit. Right. The masses would be perfectly 0:22:09.840 --> 0:22:13.800 happy endorsing hereditary authoritarian rule if you sold it to 0:22:13.840 --> 0:22:16.040 them the right way, and in fact, that would make 0:22:16.080 --> 0:22:19.240 your rule more stable. More than this, he saw that 0:22:19.359 --> 0:22:23.560 royalist coups and crackdowns against democratic against or democratic policies 0:22:23.720 --> 0:22:26.639