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Speaker 1: Test tests. Wow, Jesus gosh, I can't believe Sophie just

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Speaker 1: said that about the entire nation of Paraguay. Strange. Wow.

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Speaker 1: I feel like I say that like once a week.

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Speaker 1: People are going to be angry when they hear this episode. Wow.

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Speaker 1: I mean it's just like, first of all Monte videos

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Speaker 1: in Uruguay, I know, right, like immediately obvious problem. But

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Speaker 1: second of all, I just don't I've never heard that

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Speaker 1: particular stereotype. I'm shocked. It's incredible, honestly impressed the creativity

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Speaker 1: every week. How are you not picking up on it? Wow? Anyway,

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Speaker 1: this is behind the bastards. Chief bastard being our producer,

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Speaker 1: Sophie Lichterman and her Actually I don't know enough about

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Speaker 1: Paraguay to fill this joke out anyway, to dig into

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Speaker 1: that's how little known Paraguay is of the staff of

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Speaker 1: this podcast. Yeah, I know it's one of the guys. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: there's a second Guay. Let's lean on that one. I

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Speaker 1: feel like it's a landlocked way. I feel like all

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Speaker 1: the Guays are landlocked, right, you're aga. I feel like

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Speaker 1: isn't landlocked? Is no? I think You'uguay is pretty landlocked.

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Speaker 1: There's no way to answer this question with For example,

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Speaker 1: the devices were all using to record this podct. I

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Speaker 1: did google what are major stereotypes people have about Paraguay

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Speaker 1: into what extent are they true? And the first answer

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Speaker 1: is there the short answer there really isn't anything special

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Speaker 1: in quotes about it. So I think they really like

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Speaker 1: they really like Lady Gaga. Oh wow, yeah, you can't

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Speaker 1: get them shutting up about Lady Yeah, I think that's true.

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Speaker 1: Bunch of monsters. Did you call them monsters something like that? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I've forgotten most of the things about Lady Gaga. Um,

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Speaker 1: I don't know nothing. I just don't remember. So much

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Speaker 1: has happened since Lady Gaga was in the news. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's like literally, yeah, what do you remember about Ashton Kutcher?

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Speaker 1: Very little? I remember that his name is not Aston,

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Speaker 1: there's Ashton Ashton. That's how little I remembered his name.

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Speaker 1: That's how I told you. I don't remember much about

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Speaker 1: the man in action with him. I was at a

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Speaker 1: coffee shop. He was ahead of me in line. He

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Speaker 1: forgot his wallet and went back to his car to

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Speaker 1: pay for his two dollar coffee. Instead of being an

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Speaker 1: asshole celebrity. That was like well, I'm Ashton Kutcher, so

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna take this. I offered to pay for it,

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Speaker 1: and then when I got up there, I'd be like,

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Speaker 1: psych he just got punked. And then I would have

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Speaker 1: waited for him to see if I was joking or not,

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Speaker 1: and then I would just to be clever, so clever.

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Speaker 1: That's very generous for this bit. Podcast is not about

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Speaker 1: Ashton or Ashton Kutcher. This is no This is a

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Speaker 1: podcast where I don't know okay, sopranos podcast sorry, where

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Speaker 1: we talk about I don't know Soprano's character book a Tibeppo.

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Speaker 1: You gotta learn names, man, you gotta know. One of

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Speaker 1: them's name is Soprano. It is to Tony right, Tony, Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I got it, I got it. I remember that, and

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Speaker 1: I remember a lot about Napoleon the Third who we

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Speaker 1: are who we are talking about now. When we left

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Speaker 1: off with our hero, he has just tried to take

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Speaker 1: over France, failed, shot a man in the face for

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Speaker 1: no reason, and then repeatedly attempted to commit suicide as

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Speaker 1: he was taken to jail. Yeah. So not a great coup, yeah,

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Speaker 1: one of the worst. But I respect the attempt. I

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Speaker 1: always respect a good coup at him. I always respect

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Speaker 1: a good at coup attempt, right, Um, this is I

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Speaker 1: have to I think, you know, it's debatable. Is this

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Speaker 1: the worst coup attempt than Hitler's. You know, Hitler's ended

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Speaker 1: with him and all of his men getting machine gunned

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Speaker 1: in the street. Uh, and then he did try to

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Speaker 1: kill himself. But there's something about the impotence of shooting

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Speaker 1: an unarmed man in the face for no reason whatever,

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Speaker 1: in the mouth, like, come on, man, yeah he was there.

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Speaker 1: It's a weird panic button, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: Or you're just like, I'm panicking. Where's the nearest mouth.

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Speaker 1: It was the nearest mouth that can put a fucking

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Speaker 1: musket ball in good lord. Yeah, that's what you do

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Speaker 1: when some people, you know, some people play better when

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Speaker 1: they're panicking. Not him, not him. No, he did not.

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Speaker 1: He did not rise to the moments. He didn't. This

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Speaker 1: the opposite of Michael Jordan's flu game. This was if

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Speaker 1: Michael Jordan's had the flu during Game four the NBA

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Speaker 1: Finals and then shot Scottie Pippen in the mouth. Because

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Speaker 1: I forget which game was the flu game. I mean

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Speaker 1: it might have been a game too. And uh, was

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Speaker 1: it game five when he had the flu? Believe it

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Speaker 1: was game six games So so he won an NBA

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Speaker 1: final with the flu. That's crazy. Michael Jordan's pretty amazing

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Speaker 1: basketball play. A lot of people the Napoleon Finals against

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Speaker 1: the Jazz So Napoleon. So the reaction in the media

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Speaker 1: and the reaction in general from like the government to

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Speaker 1: Coup two was very different from Coup number one. One

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Speaker 1: newspaper proposed that Napoleon the Third might have dementia. The

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Speaker 1: government of Louis Philippe, who is the king, described the

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Speaker 1: attack as a vain and vicious attempt to overthrow the government,

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Speaker 1: during which an unarmed soldier had nearly been murdered, which

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Speaker 1: was accurate. Um, So this is, you know, the first

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Speaker 1: time Louis Philippe kind of just wants to usher him out,

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Speaker 1: like they have a court case, but he doesn't want

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Speaker 1: him in the country. He doesn't really want to like

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Speaker 1: punish it too harshly to his I don't know, very

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Speaker 1: mild credit. Louis Philippe reacts more stringently to this one,

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Speaker 1: but it and it's interesting because his Louis, Louis Napoleon's dad,

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Speaker 1: Louis Bonaparte, has mostly been very much against all the

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Speaker 1: things his son has tried to do, and was against

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Speaker 1: this coup attempt. But the invective against his son and

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Speaker 1: like the public media and from the French government forces

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Speaker 1: Louis Bonaparte to actually finally stand up in his son's defense. Now, okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: and my son's defense. Yeah, he's really bad at everything,

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Speaker 1: and he didn't succeed, and so what do you know,

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Speaker 1: it's wayne when he had fun. We had fun, everyone

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Speaker 1: had fun. It's interesting. That's actually not that far from

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Speaker 1: what he does. So obviously, being the guy that he

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Speaker 1: is and being a principled man, he can't defend his

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Speaker 1: son's attempt to overthrow the government, nor he can he offend,

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Speaker 1: like defend like shooting a man in the face. So

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Speaker 1: instead of doing that, he writes a letter to be

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Speaker 1: published in the Italian press which complains that his son

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Speaker 1: is quote the victim of an infamous conspiracy, seduced by flatterers,

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Speaker 1: false friends, and perhaps from insidious advice. So he's basically

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Speaker 1: he was. He was like, it's like a cult thing, right,

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Speaker 1: like he got he got wrapped up in by some

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Speaker 1: bad people. But he's not a bad kid. He just

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Speaker 1: got given some bad advice. You know that is not

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Speaker 1: completely wrong, because that's part of what happened, Right, Louis

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Speaker 1: Napoleon is not a very smart guy, and he's very

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Speaker 1: vulnerable to the people around him if they're nice to him.

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Speaker 1: This is to continue to be a factor in his

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Speaker 1: life through his entire reign. And I think some of

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Speaker 1: this is that actually Louis Bonaparte kind of understands his

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Speaker 1: son um, but he also he's a little blinded too,

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Speaker 1: because he can't believe that his son was really a

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Speaker 1: driving force behind the attempt. Writing the quote, it is

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Speaker 1: quite impossible that a man surely not lacking the financial

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Speaker 1: means and common sense, should have, with his eyes wide open,

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Speaker 1: willingly thrown himself over such a political precipice. Basically, like,

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Speaker 1: look if he if he did, if he was a

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Speaker 1: driving factor behind this, he would have had to be

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Speaker 1: an idiot. And I know he's not an idiot, right, Yerey,

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Speaker 1: you are his dad. I can't blame you for specialty. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 1: So Louis Napoleon goes to court, uh, this time he's

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Speaker 1: actually in country for it, and it does not go

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Speaker 1: well for him law wise. Again, he's gotten kind of

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Speaker 1: like he got off the hook basically last time. Um,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, he got two dollars, yeah, and acquitted. He's

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Speaker 1: not going to get acquitted this time. But it actually

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Speaker 1: kind of goes better for him because Louis Napoleon is

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Speaker 1: dumb in a lot of ways, but he understands some

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Speaker 1: things about politics and the new mass media that no

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Speaker 1: one has figured out yet. Um. And, as Hitler was

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Speaker 1: going to learn about eighty years later, if you're on

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Speaker 1: trial for trying to overthrow the government, you can do

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Speaker 1: pretty well by firing off a populist rant that makes

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Speaker 1: the case for your reign. Um. Yeah, and uh, here's

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Speaker 1: here's the speech that he gives, or an exert from

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Speaker 1: the speech that he gives in court. For the first

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Speaker 1: time in my life, I have been permitted to speak

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Speaker 1: in France and to speak freely before the French people,

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Speaker 1: in spite of the guards on either side of me,

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Speaker 1: In spite of all the accusations I have just heard,

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Speaker 1: I find myself here within the walls of the Senate

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Speaker 1: that I had first visited as a child, with Napoleon

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Speaker 1: in your midst, you whom I know, gentlemen, I do

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Speaker 1: not believe that I have to justify myself, nor that

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Speaker 1: you could be my judges. A solemn occasion has offered

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Speaker 1: me here to explain to my fellow citizens my conduct,

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Speaker 1: my intentions, my projects, what I think and what I desire.

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Speaker 1: The nation has never revoked the Grand Act of Sovereignty,

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Speaker 1: the one that had established Napoleon Bonaparte's kingdom, And as

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Speaker 1: the Emperor himself said, everything done without adhering to it

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Speaker 1: is illegal, and that includes this trial. And to do

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Speaker 1: not think for a moment that I might have wanted

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Speaker 1: to attempt any imperial restoration in France without the backing

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Speaker 1: of the people of this country through a plebiscite. As

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Speaker 1: for my undertaking, and alone I had no other accomplices.

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Speaker 1: I alone am responsible. I represent before you a principle,

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Speaker 1: a cause, and a defeat one principle, the sovereignty of

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Speaker 1: the people, the cause stead of our empire, and to

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Speaker 1: defeat Waterloo. So he's saying, like, you know, the government

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Speaker 1: that my uncle established is still legitimate. This court has

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Speaker 1: no right to hold me for anything. But also I

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Speaker 1: never wanted to become the emperor without a plebiscite. I

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Speaker 1: was only trying to do what I think the people

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Speaker 1: wanted me to do, right, I was just going to

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Speaker 1: do a coup and then see if people were cool

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Speaker 1: with that. You know, that's why it's called a coup.

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Speaker 1: And it's not really the cool because a coup because

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Speaker 1: like Napoleon's constitution is still valid clearly, right, yeah, is

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Speaker 1: it a coup if you guys are the ones who

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Speaker 1: originally did the coup exactly, the Bourbon restorations, who Cou

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Speaker 1: who Cou? Who? Whose line is it? Anyway? Cou'se line

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Speaker 1: isn't any whatever. So this goes really well for him actually,

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Speaker 1: because again Louis philip is a terrible king. Right, we're

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Speaker 1: laughing at Louis Napoleon, but Louis Philippe is not a

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Speaker 1: good king, and his monarchy is kind of a ship show.

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Speaker 1: People are very unhappy, and they hear this guy. He's

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Speaker 1: hearkening back to this defeat which still wounds the French

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Speaker 1: soul Waterloo and the victories and of Napoleon before it,

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Speaker 1: and he's saying, like, look, we never stopped being those

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Speaker 1: guys who could win. We just let guys like this

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Speaker 1: tell us that we weren't there anymore. And if we

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Speaker 1: get them, we can make France great again, right, that's

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Speaker 1: what I mean. That's yeah, that's that's that's what he's saying,

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Speaker 1: and it works really well. And the fact that this

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Speaker 1: speech goes so well for Lewis Napoleon does not at

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Speaker 1: all mitigate the King's desire to see him lock the

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Speaker 1: funk away, right, Louis Philippe designs, I gotta keep this

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Speaker 1: dude in a fucking cage, and on October six, Lewis

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Speaker 1: Napoleon is sentenced to life in prison, which is honestly

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Speaker 1: not an entirely unfair sentence for shooting an unarmed man

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Speaker 1: in the face for absolutely no recent Yeah, yeah, but

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Speaker 1: just beyond the even attempted coupart, just shooting a guy

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Speaker 1: in the face. Look, I'm not a car serile guy,

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Speaker 1: but of the things you might lock someone up for,

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Speaker 1: randomly shooting a man in the face is not a

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Speaker 1: bad one, right, Yeah, I mean we're talking about, like,

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Speaker 1: you know, the eighteen forties France. Chances are you locking

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Speaker 1: people away for far less? Yes, ex actly, exactly, um so,

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Speaker 1: broadly speaking, and again, his his prison. This is not

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Speaker 1: a hard prison, right, he is not locked away in

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Speaker 1: the fucking beastial. This isn't some like limb Zer rob

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Speaker 1: ship where he's breaking rocks or whatever while Javert sings

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Speaker 1: at him. Um, he's he's got like a suite of

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Speaker 1: rooms and what is effectively a castle. Um. He lives.

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Speaker 1: He has all of the books that he wants. He

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Speaker 1: gets regularly visited, he gets invited to dinner by the warden. Um.

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Speaker 1: He is a celebrity prisoner. He lives better than a loop.

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Speaker 1: He is in fact writing a book. Yes, um so

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Speaker 1: uh and part of the Obviously, he shot a man

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Speaker 1: in the face and tried to overthrow the government France

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Speaker 1: has killed people for less. They were still guillotining dudes. Um,

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Speaker 1: that would not have been out of the You could again,

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Speaker 1: as the leader of the country, you can easily make

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Speaker 1: a case for doing that. But Louis Napoleon or Louis Philippe, sorry, god,

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Speaker 1: there's too many fucking lewis Is in this fucking series.

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Speaker 1: King Louis Phillip can't do that because there's unrest building

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Speaker 1: all throughout the country. And right around the time that

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Speaker 1: Lewis Napoleon is on trial, he has finally agreed and

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Speaker 1: carried out this massive logistical hurdle to bring the corpse

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Speaker 1: of Napoleon Bonaparte back to France a decade after his death.

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Speaker 1: So while all this is going on, the French government

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Speaker 1: and military are preparing for this massive ceremony where Napoleon's

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Speaker 1: corpses being carried through the country and put up. This

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Speaker 1: is an actual thing, Like, yes, they're actually gonna exhume

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Speaker 1: his corpse. Yeah yeah, they're gonna to take it and

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Speaker 1: bury it in a crypt. Yeah, in in France, back

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Speaker 1: on his home soil, well not his home soil because

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Speaker 1: he was coursing, but whatever. Um. Yeah, So this is

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Speaker 1: it's a it's a dangerous time. You don't want to

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Speaker 1: be executing his nephew while people everyone is like weeping

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Speaker 1: as his coffin is taken through the streets, right, because

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Speaker 1: people still love Napoleon. The crowds to see Napoleon's casket

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Speaker 1: numbered half a million men, many of them veterans. So

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Speaker 1: again this is particular literally a crowd of people you

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Speaker 1: don't want to piss off, Like there's half a million

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Speaker 1: men in the street who have been under musket fire together.

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Speaker 1: They stood for hours to watch his um you know,

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Speaker 1: the whatever, the thing with the coffin pass, even though

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Speaker 1: it was so half a million people standing for like

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Speaker 1: a lot of eight to twelve hours to watch this

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Speaker 1: procession when it is negative twenty two degrees fahrenheit outside.

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Speaker 1: That's how much people love Napoleon. They really like this guy.

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Speaker 1: They really like Napoleon. Yeah. It says also a lot

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Speaker 1: about how much, you know, the Bourbons are sucking up

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Speaker 1: all the time, you know, because they lose sleep is

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Speaker 1: a he's a he's the duke to or Leon. Yeah yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: but you know, I mean he is part of that family.

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Speaker 1: He was just like because they're all yeah, yeah, they're

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Speaker 1: all except well now the Bonapartes. Well yeah, but it

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Speaker 1: just shows us how much they fucked up in that.

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Speaker 1: Like at the end of like Napoleon's ringing, everyone's like,

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Speaker 1: can we get this guy out? Because he keeps trying

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Speaker 1: to do invasions of stuff. We just kind of retired

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Speaker 1: of it. And at this point everyone's like, hey, remember

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Speaker 1: when ship was cool? Yeah, when like Napoleon was around,

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Speaker 1: they were just kicking those fucking Austrians asses, just like

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Speaker 1: kicking everyone's ass, just like, oh dude, Ship was so sick.

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Speaker 1: And also there was order, and people love remembering order. God,

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Speaker 1: people do love order. Um As noted by the documentary

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Speaker 1: whichever Star Wars movie was the most recent one. That's right, Actually,

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Speaker 1: a Star Wars theme Law and Order could be a

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Speaker 1: pretty fucking fun show. You could do a lot with that.

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Speaker 1: You know it's gonna happen. You can make that work.

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Speaker 1: You could make that work very well. Um. Anyway, Look,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna have to skip ahead of it through the

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Speaker 1: next piece of history because I have to tell you,

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Speaker 1: this guy does so much in his fucking life. He's

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Speaker 1: involved in so much shit. Uh. Anyway to summarize the

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Speaker 1: next part of his story, what happens after he gets

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Speaker 1: thrown in prison, I'm going to turn to yet another book,

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Speaker 1: The Last Emperor of next a Code by Edward Shaw

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Speaker 1: cross quote Undeterred. Six years later, while the prison was

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Speaker 1: undergoing construction, Lewis Napoleon, dressed in the clothes of a workman,

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Speaker 1: picked up a wooden plank, put it over his shoulder,

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Speaker 1: and walked out the front gate before fleeing to London.

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Speaker 1: It was so easy to break out of prisons. He

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Speaker 1: didn't even have to get like a readA Hayworth poster

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Speaker 1: and like a tiny little pickaxe he worked out. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's just like, excuse me, I'm just going to move

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Speaker 1: this wooden plank. This was before the invention of the door,

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Speaker 1: so people really had no way to keep someone in something.

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Speaker 1: All prisons had worked on the honor system previously. Exactly,

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Speaker 1: it was like, hey, where are you going? He's like,

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Speaker 1: oh no, he's a workman. He's the most famous friend.

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Speaker 1: He has wood on his shoulder. It can't be him.

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Speaker 1: He would never hold wood. Limperor would never hold the

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Speaker 1: wooden He has not Bin Shapiro at home depot. Excuse me,

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Speaker 1: I'm a hundred and fifty years apart. When the son

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Speaker 1: of or the nephew of Napoleon Bonaparte and rich guy

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Speaker 1: been Shapiro need to feel like a cut pretend to

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Speaker 1: be a common man, they both picked the same tactic.

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Speaker 1: Gonna get some wood, hold it up from my sheltering.

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Speaker 1: It's the number one thing that rich people th work

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Speaker 1: like working class people do. It's just whatever or do again.

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Speaker 1: I think they just like hold wood and they that's

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Speaker 1: what they do. That's what they do. Just told pieces

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Speaker 1: of wood and say, oh, my brow has beads of

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Speaker 1: sweat upon it. All right, I'm gonna continue that quote.

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Speaker 1: And there it would have ended, had it not been

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Speaker 1: for the providential moment. Louis Napoleon had been waiting for

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Speaker 1: the European revolutions of eighteen forty eight. After the abdication

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Speaker 1: of the French king, a republic was hastily proclaimed and

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Speaker 1: elections announced, despite no experience of democratic politics or a

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Speaker 1: political party to support him. Louis Napoleon grandiosely told a cousin,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to Paris. A republic has been proclaimed. I

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Speaker 1: must be its master. His cousin responded, you are dreaming

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Speaker 1: as usual, and yet this is the wild thing. He's

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Speaker 1: completely right. He wins this election in a fucking landslide. Um. Obviously,

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Speaker 1: the fact that he's a Napoleon is most of what

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Speaker 1: a lot of the voters need to hear. Um. And

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Speaker 1: also that he had been very visibly in opposition to

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Speaker 1: the hated king who had just been overthrown. Um. But

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Speaker 1: he's also he's he is particularly unpopular with the people

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Speaker 1: who had been the political elite and the only people

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Speaker 1: who were able to vote previously to the proclamation of

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Speaker 1: the republic. Alexis de Toqueville. Um, who's a political smart

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Speaker 1: guy thinker. Um, he was he was there, he was there.

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Speaker 1: Uh fucking um. I don't know what's a terrible political columnist.

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Speaker 1: Rynick Um, he's there, Bill Crystal, Yeah, he's there. Bary Wise, Um, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry. People are gonna be so angry at me,

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Speaker 1: all the scholars in the audience. But he does not

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Speaker 1: like Louis Napoleon. He compares him to a dwarf who, quote,

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Speaker 1: on the summit of a great wave, is able to

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Speaker 1: scale a high cliff which a giant placed on dry

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Speaker 1: ground would not be able to climb. Which is actually

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Speaker 1: a really accurate summary of what's happened, right. It's not

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Speaker 1: his own personal character because he has not accomplished a

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Speaker 1: single thing in his life other than shooting that guy

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Speaker 1: in the face. But there's this wave and he expertly

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Speaker 1: the thing that he actually is good at is number one.

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Speaker 1: He's he does have this degree of understanding of the

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Speaker 1: French populace and he knows where to place himself to

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Speaker 1: take advantage of this wave. Um. I guess my only

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Speaker 1: disagreement with dak Fill there is that like that is

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Speaker 1: actually a skill. It's a really dangerous skill, but it

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Speaker 1: is a skill. Most people. It's a high political you know.

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Speaker 1: It's like we all want to it's the same type

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Speaker 1: of you know, like critique that people have of Trump

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Speaker 1: where you're just like he's stupid and he's He's like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: he's an idiot, Like he is dumb in a thousand ways,

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Speaker 1: but he is very very good at manipulating people and

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Speaker 1: he has a high political Like you, you would hope

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Speaker 1: that like the thing we would get out of Trump,

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Speaker 1: And also guys like Dr Oz and guys like what's

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Speaker 1: the other fucking expert Ben Carson? Is that like, intelligence

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Speaker 1: isn't a thing. People are good at things and they

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Speaker 1: are bad at things, but nobody is smart, right, Like

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Speaker 1: that's not the way brains work. Yes, exactly exactly, Like

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Speaker 1: I'm really good at geography, but I'm an idiot, So

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Speaker 1: me being good at geography doesn't make me a smart guy.

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Speaker 1: It just means I'm good at one thing. And Elon

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Speaker 1: Musk being a competent engineer in some specific things clearly

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Speaker 1: does not make him smart in other ways. Yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: it's very clearly. Like knowing why a blue check mark

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Speaker 1: is a thing, it's it's good. Um, so I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: continue that quote. Writer and politician Victor Hugo penned a

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Speaker 1: series of vitriolic attacks on Louis Napoleon, one title Napoleon

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Speaker 1: le petite, exhorting the French to look at this hog

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Speaker 1: wallowing in his own slide him on a lion's skin.

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Speaker 1: Even the Dolf Tears, leader of the conservative politicians in

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Speaker 1: France who supported Louis Napoleon, thought him an idiot who

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Speaker 1: could be easily controlled. Certainly, Louis Napoleon did not seem

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Speaker 1: to have his uncle's drive, except when it came to women. Indeed,

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Speaker 1: his mistress at this time and financial backer, was a

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Speaker 1: notorious English courtisan and failed actress, a combination too much

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Speaker 1: even for French politics. To the relief of many, the

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Speaker 1: Constitution of the Republic limited the presidency to one four

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Speaker 1: year term. Louis Napoleon, however, was not going to allow

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Speaker 1: a constitution he had sworn to uphold to get in

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Speaker 1: the way of destiny. So obviously, when he comes to

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Speaker 1: power here forty eight, this is a year of massive

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Speaker 1: left wing revolutions, a lot of which fall just kind

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Speaker 1: of a little short of actually, you know, it's it's

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Speaker 1: this kind of failed revolution year in a lot of points,

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Speaker 1: not everywhere, but in a lot of ways. And prior

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Speaker 1: to Napoleon the third. Most people who'd supported the return

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Speaker 1: to monarchy anywhere were staunchly anti democratic. Right, there was

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Speaker 1: a wide understanding that democratic government's inevitably led to radical

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Speaker 1: left wing policies that would undermine and threatn elites. Napoleon

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Speaker 1: the thirds great innovation, and the thing that actually is

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Speaker 1: a kind of genius from him is that he saw

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Speaker 1: that this was bullshit. Right. The masses would be perfectly

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Speaker 1: happy endorsing hereditary authoritarian rule if you sold it to

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Speaker 1: them the right way, and in fact, that would make

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Speaker 1: your rule more stable. More than this, he saw that

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Speaker 1: royalist coups and crackdowns against democratic against or democratic policies

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Speaker 1: were fundamentally doomed. But if you could put a monarch

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Speaker 1: on the throne through democratic acclaim, that would act to

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Speaker 1: legitimate the regime using the ballot box. This is exactly

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Speaker 1: what Napoleon did, holding two plebiscites in which he got

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Speaker 1: voters to first back a coup against the Republic and

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Speaker 1: then declare him emperor. He won both with at least

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Speaker 1: one of them was more than of the electorate. Right,

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Speaker 1: and this is this is the thing every dictator who

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Speaker 1: follows after him. Napoleon is kind of the start of

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Speaker 1: the wave of like, now, if you're a dictator, you

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Speaker 1: don't just say I'm the dictator and I'm in charge.

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Speaker 1: You say I'm the president or you know, the premier

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Speaker 1: or whatever. And I've been a elected we do an

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Speaker 1: election every couple of years and get the vote. You know, yeah, yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 1: Now it's like you always have the guys of you know,

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Speaker 1: I am a democratically elected uh president or prime minister,

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Speaker 1: any of that stuff. Just make it up. The elections

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Speaker 1: can be fake as long as it looks like you're

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Speaker 1: democratic and you you do lip service, that's all that matters. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and it's I mean, yeah, it's interesting. This right up

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Speaker 1: by History today provides more context as to why he

422
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:32,400
Speaker 1: was able to to get so much get so far

423
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:36,200
Speaker 1: with the electorate. He was a fresh figure on the scene,

424
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:38,359
Speaker 1: which was a great advantage. He had total faith in

425
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:40,719
Speaker 1: his destiny, which was another, and he could parade as

426
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:44,400
Speaker 1: a person above party politics. Karl Mark sourly remarked because

427
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:47,520
Speaker 1: Louis Napoleon that because Louis Napoleon was nothing, he could

428
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:50,959
Speaker 1: appear to be everything. His opponents attempt at ridicule, caricaturing

429
00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:52,880
Speaker 1: him writing a goose he was trying to transform into

430
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:55,959
Speaker 1: an imperial eagle merely rebounded to his advantage by reminding

431
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,919
Speaker 1: people of his Napoleonic connection. He wowed the electorate with

432
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:03,160
Speaker 1: promises to restore rances lost glory and assurances of prosperity, advancement,

433
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:05,359
Speaker 1: and a happy future for every group in social class

434
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,000
Speaker 1: in the country. As one of his biographers commented, he

435
00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:12,400
Speaker 1: came down impartially on all sides. Yeah, he was everything

436
00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:15,000
Speaker 1: to everybody. You could kind of just put your own

437
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:17,840
Speaker 1: politics into him. And this is you know that that

438
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:20,840
Speaker 1: Marx quote history comes once his first as a tragedy

439
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,359
Speaker 1: and second as a farce that he writes that about

440
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:28,160
Speaker 1: Louis Napoleon. Napoleon Bonaparte is the tragedy because millions die,

441
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:31,399
Speaker 1: and Louis Napoleon is the farce, right, because he's literally

442
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:34,320
Speaker 1: a parody. He's literally a parody of his uncle. Yeah. Yeah,

443
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:38,920
Speaker 1: like we all our version, our vision of like Napoleon

444
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:43,400
Speaker 1: that we have now is actually just Louis Napoleon. It's

445
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:49,000
Speaker 1: like he's very very tiny, weird mustache, like bad goatee.

446
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:52,600
Speaker 1: Uh looks like a clown. That's that's the parody of

447
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:55,639
Speaker 1: his uncle. Yeah, it's it's pretty fucking cool. And you

448
00:24:55,680 --> 00:25:01,320
Speaker 1: know what's a parody of bad products? What the good

449
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:05,879
Speaker 1: products that support our podcast? That's right. I love that,

450
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:09,520
Speaker 1: love that for us. Um, I'm just gonna say it,

451
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:14,359
Speaker 1: hot as ship Robert, I sent the entire team the

452
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:29,560
Speaker 1: Columbus et. Uh boy, howdy, I tell you what. We're back.

453
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:36,040
Speaker 1: And I have never I have never, never once. So

454
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:40,200
Speaker 1: we're talking about Napoleon the third and how he how

455
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:44,320
Speaker 1: he got himself into the good books of the French

456
00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:48,080
Speaker 1: electorate and won election and then became the emperor. Um.

457
00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:50,679
Speaker 1: And is this strategy he makes of like being like

458
00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:53,040
Speaker 1: I'm going to restore our lost glory. Everything's gonna get

459
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:56,840
Speaker 1: better for everybody. It works really well with like particularly

460
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:59,840
Speaker 1: the peasants, the country folks, who in fact a big

461
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:01,919
Speaker 1: way in which they show there when kind of like

462
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:03,800
Speaker 1: these plebiscites are going on. One of the ways in

463
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,960
Speaker 1: which Napoleon's strongest supporters show they love him is by

464
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,760
Speaker 1: marching around the streets, shooting guns in the air and

465
00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:14,880
Speaker 1: getting wasted. Um. Yeah, which that sounds right, That sounds

466
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:19,040
Speaker 1: about right, sounds about right. That's how we celebrate everything. Yeah,

467
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:21,639
Speaker 1: you know if that's the modern way of celebrating. It

468
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:25,159
Speaker 1: was created by Louis Napoleon. Yeah, I get it. I

469
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:28,240
Speaker 1: get why that would be the way that would happen. Um.

470
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:32,159
Speaker 1: If you've ever seen, you know, any team from Philadelphia

471
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:36,200
Speaker 1: when a championship in sports of some sort, you'll understand

472
00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:38,280
Speaker 1: that this is how we celebrate. They also do do

473
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:41,720
Speaker 1: off the street, but yeah, that's probably going on here too. Um.

474
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:44,040
Speaker 1: A lot of Vets who had fought with his uncle

475
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:47,320
Speaker 1: put on their uniforms and would march around. Um. They

476
00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:50,480
Speaker 1: are funnily enough as they like march to the polls.

477
00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:53,520
Speaker 1: They're shouting ship like death to the rich and aristos

478
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:57,360
Speaker 1: and users to the guillotine, which again he is literally

479
00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:03,320
Speaker 1: the nephew of the emperor. Um. But he does very well. Um. Quote.

480
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:06,200
Speaker 1: Professional politicians were shocked, but the new president and most

481
00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:08,160
Speaker 1: of France had had quite enough of them. He went

482
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:10,040
Speaker 1: on to rid himself of the Party of Order and

483
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:12,479
Speaker 1: destroy the Second Republic with the support of a handful

484
00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:15,480
Speaker 1: of bonapartists in the National Assembly, steering his men and

485
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:17,800
Speaker 1: a key positions in the army. In the administration, he

486
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:21,439
Speaker 1: took advantage of an economic slowdown downturn in one to

487
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:23,760
Speaker 1: present himself as the strongman who would say France from

488
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:26,960
Speaker 1: socialism and collapse. In December, he carried out a successful coup,

489
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:31,080
Speaker 1: put down his opponents by force and Cynthia assembly packing. Um.

490
00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:32,800
Speaker 1: And yeah, it's interesting to me. I don't think this

491
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:35,640
Speaker 1: history is widely known outside of France, certainly not outside

492
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:37,720
Speaker 1: of Europe, but it's it's fucking fascinating to me that

493
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:40,879
Speaker 1: France has two democratic governments in a row, ended by

494
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:44,199
Speaker 1: members of the same family. Um. Like, it's like if

495
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:47,000
Speaker 1: Hitler had come along in the nineteen seventies, like another

496
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:49,880
Speaker 1: one and ended German democracy again. Like you said, another

497
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:53,719
Speaker 1: Hitler and he's like, yeah, let's give him another shot. Listen,

498
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:58,480
Speaker 1: Greg Hitler is different than his uncle Adolf. Okay, we

499
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:01,680
Speaker 1: can trust Greg. Greg. A different kind of Hitler, a

500
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:04,520
Speaker 1: different kind of Hitler for a modern era, a modern

501
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:08,960
Speaker 1: Hitler for modern Germany. Shows him like arm in arm

502
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:13,520
Speaker 1: with a Rabbi. Things are cool now between the Hitlers

503
00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:18,480
Speaker 1: and the Jews. Yeah, it's going to be different this time. Yeah.

504
00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:21,720
Speaker 1: And he did what God damnit, he invaded poland he

505
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,520
Speaker 1: did it again. That's sort of a bit you know,

506
00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:30,440
Speaker 1: known fool me once. Yeah, it is kind of insane that, uh,

507
00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:36,639
Speaker 1: like how quickly he went from like being president, you know,

508
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:41,719
Speaker 1: Louis Napoleon too, just immediately being going like what are

509
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:43,560
Speaker 1: we doing here? We all know I'm going to be

510
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:46,280
Speaker 1: emperor and then boom, Napoleon the third just like that,

511
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:52,200
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, it's uh, it's cool. So on December second,

512
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:56,440
Speaker 1: eighteen fifty two, Louis Napoleon became Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte the Third.

513
00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:58,680
Speaker 1: And technically it was wrong every time before this one

514
00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:01,040
Speaker 1: I called him Napoleon the third, But it's fine, He's

515
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 1: Napoleon the Third. Edward shaw Cross notes that he quote

516
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:07,480
Speaker 1: aimed to plow a middle way between liberalism and conservatism,

517
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:10,120
Speaker 1: much like Bill Clinton. In this he built the example

518
00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:13,080
Speaker 1: of the recently overthrown king Louis Philippe, lover of the

519
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:16,040
Speaker 1: centrist just Milieu. But Napoleon the Third was willing to

520
00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:18,520
Speaker 1: go further and based his regime on direct democracy is

521
00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:21,760
Speaker 1: expressed through universal male suffrage. As one of his aphorisms

522
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 1: supposedly went, do not fear the people. They are more

523
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:29,719
Speaker 1: conservative than you. And this is this is why I

524
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 1: want to talk about this guy, because he is kind

525
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:38,080
Speaker 1: of not not kind of He absolutely is the model

526
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:46,040
Speaker 1: of all future authoritarian populists in democratic societies. Um, I

527
00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:50,600
Speaker 1: it's it's I find him fascinating for that reason. It's

528
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:53,719
Speaker 1: weird because his instincts were dead on and remained true

529
00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:58,120
Speaker 1: to this day. Yes, he absolutely was not wrong about

530
00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:00,120
Speaker 1: any of this stuff in terms of like how to

531
00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:02,720
Speaker 1: get elected and ship. I mean, he's a clown and

532
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:05,000
Speaker 1: he does all this like stupid ships, shooting the guy

533
00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:07,800
Speaker 1: in the mouth. He's, you know, just a couple failed coups.

534
00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:09,320
Speaker 1: So you're kind of just like this is like what

535
00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:15,240
Speaker 1: the ultimate fails soun, right or failed nephew. Um, but yeah, no,

536
00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 1: his instincts were right on when it came to re

537
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:25,840
Speaker 1: establishing the French Empire. Yeah, it works very well. So

538
00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:27,760
Speaker 1: the early days, as we said, the early days of

539
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:31,000
Speaker 1: his domestic policies are a staggering success. The French economy

540
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:35,120
Speaker 1: recovers from its long slump, the nation begins to industrialize rapidly,

541
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:38,520
Speaker 1: and just as critically, Louis Napoleon turns France into a

542
00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:43,040
Speaker 1: major player on the European stage again. Right, the couple

543
00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:45,520
Speaker 1: of decades after Napoleon, France is a bit of a

544
00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:48,120
Speaker 1: pariah state, Right, kind of the same way the Germans,

545
00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:49,920
Speaker 1: where where everyone's like, I don't know if we can

546
00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:58,400
Speaker 1: trust these guys given you know history, everything that happens repeatedly, um,

547
00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:00,720
Speaker 1: which is again not an unreasonable whole thing to think.

548
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:03,720
Speaker 1: But this, this is where that all turns around. This

549
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:07,440
Speaker 1: he brings France back into kind of the standing of

550
00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:10,640
Speaker 1: a responsible nation state. Right, you can call that bullshit

551
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:13,960
Speaker 1: or not, but like that, that's he effectively changes the

552
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:16,560
Speaker 1: way people think about France in a big way by

553
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:19,640
Speaker 1: changing the way France acts as a power. Um. And

554
00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:21,680
Speaker 1: the major way he does this the first kind of

555
00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:24,520
Speaker 1: big thing he does to turn around. You know, France's

556
00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:27,680
Speaker 1: political position in Europe is to ally with Great Britain

557
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:31,480
Speaker 1: for the Crimean War in eighteen fifty three. This is

558
00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:33,320
Speaker 1: right after he can so this is basically one of

559
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:37,120
Speaker 1: the first things he does is Limberg. Now, the Crimean

560
00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:40,160
Speaker 1: War is often considered the first modern military conflict, and

561
00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:42,200
Speaker 1: it is one of the two wars, the other being

562
00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:45,880
Speaker 1: the eighteen seventy war between Prussia and France that we'll

563
00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:48,200
Speaker 1: talk about the end of these episodes that sets up

564
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:51,239
Speaker 1: the preconditions for World War One, and the gist of

565
00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:53,800
Speaker 1: this war is that Russia and Turkey they've been fighting

566
00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:55,960
Speaker 1: for each other for centuries, right, like you got your

567
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:58,920
Speaker 1: Ottoman Empire and they keep trying to push into Europe

568
00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:01,200
Speaker 1: and and they got the Ballins, and the Russians are

569
00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:03,200
Speaker 1: seen by a lot of Europe for a decent chunk

570
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:05,040
Speaker 1: of time, the Russians, just Russia is seen as like

571
00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:09,200
Speaker 1: the great barrier to the Optimise right to the Muslim hordes. Um.

572
00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:12,360
Speaker 1: And these periodic military conflicts are ever complicated by the

573
00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:15,360
Speaker 1: political situation over in the Holy Land, which at the

574
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:18,480
Speaker 1: time is under Ottoman control. But the English are involved

575
00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:21,440
Speaker 1: in like mediating things and you've got it's not you

576
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:23,600
Speaker 1: know today we think about like religious conflicts in the

577
00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:25,520
Speaker 1: Holy Land and it's like, oh, well, you got your

578
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:29,160
Speaker 1: Muslims and Jews and Christians and whatnot. Back in that day,

579
00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:32,560
Speaker 1: one of the big conflicts is between Greek Orthodox and

580
00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:35,920
Speaker 1: Catholic monks who are rioting. There there are times where

581
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:38,320
Speaker 1: they'll kill each other. There will be like riots over

582
00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:40,760
Speaker 1: these like holy spaces where people are beating each other

583
00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:47,280
Speaker 1: to death. Um. It fucking rules, It's super funny. Um. Anyway,

584
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:51,440
Speaker 1: the Czars see themselves as protectors of Orthodoxy, and since

585
00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:53,840
Speaker 1: the Ottomans are in charge of the Balkans at this period.

586
00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 1: Remember so the Ottoman Empire is still ruling what we

587
00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:58,880
Speaker 1: would call a decent chunk of eastern Europe today. Um,

588
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:02,040
Speaker 1: they're about twelve and unorthodox Christians living under Ottoman rule,

589
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:05,160
Speaker 1: and Russia wants to take that area away from the

590
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:09,000
Speaker 1: Muslims and also added to Russia. Um. And while you know,

591
00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:11,080
Speaker 1: you might expect all of the other Christian nations to

592
00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:13,680
Speaker 1: back them, but everybody is scared of Russia. They're considered

593
00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:17,440
Speaker 1: a dangerous power. And so for the most part, like,

594
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:19,400
Speaker 1: while they'll pay lip service to like, oh, yeah, we

595
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:22,520
Speaker 1: gotta free those Christians from the evil Muslims, most of

596
00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:24,600
Speaker 1: the other states in this period are like, yeah, we

597
00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:27,640
Speaker 1: don't want Russia to have the whole Balkans. Like that's

598
00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:31,640
Speaker 1: that's that's not a good idea. They're they're also scary. Yeah,

599
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:36,120
Speaker 1: they're also very scary. Both of these people are hordes people. Yeah,

600
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:38,120
Speaker 1: I don't want to deal with Hords. We just don't

601
00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:41,120
Speaker 1: like Hords that much anymore. Just like could you thin

602
00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:46,400
Speaker 1: out numbers a little less hordes more justwards. So for

603
00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:48,920
Speaker 1: a lot of the eighteen hundreds, the British try to

604
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:51,800
Speaker 1: keep some sort of balance. They're often brought in as

605
00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:55,200
Speaker 1: kind of the mediators here, um do and they you know,

606
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:58,440
Speaker 1: they've got again. Another part of this is that like,

607
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:01,760
Speaker 1: the British have massive financial interests inside the Ottoman Empire.

608
00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:03,920
Speaker 1: So they're like, because the Ottomans are kind of falling

609
00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:05,800
Speaker 1: apart in this period right there, being called the sick

610
00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:09,520
Speaker 1: man of Europe, and so the Russians are like, well,

611
00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:11,839
Speaker 1: we actually we could, we could take them right now,

612
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:13,879
Speaker 1: you know, we might be able to actually fucking push

613
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:17,439
Speaker 1: them out of here. And the British are like, well,

614
00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:20,080
Speaker 1: but that's not that's actually not gonna work out great

615
00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:21,399
Speaker 1: for us. We have a lot of it. It It works

616
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:23,319
Speaker 1: out really. We don't want to control, we don't want

617
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:25,319
Speaker 1: to take over the Ottoman Empire. That sounds like a

618
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:27,960
Speaker 1: giant pain in the ass. That's just gonna be expensive.

619
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:30,319
Speaker 1: But right now their government will basically do whatever the

620
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:33,600
Speaker 1: funk we say, um, And so we can make a

621
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:38,399
Speaker 1: shipload of money, you know, not doing anything. Um. It's

622
00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:42,120
Speaker 1: it's it's it's cool. Um. So there. You know, this

623
00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:44,680
Speaker 1: goes on for years for most of the eighteen hundreds

624
00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:47,920
Speaker 1: in fact um and kind of massive conflicts are just

625
00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:50,520
Speaker 1: barely avoided here and there. But then in July of

626
00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:55,239
Speaker 1: eighteen fifty three, the Czar invades Moldovia and Wallachia, which

627
00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:58,920
Speaker 1: is like modern day Romania. UM. Now, Louis Napoleon had

628
00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:01,200
Speaker 1: no desire to start his reign with another land war

629
00:35:01,239 --> 00:35:03,480
Speaker 1: in Europe. He'd campaigned on the premise that quote the

630
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:06,920
Speaker 1: Empire stands for peace. But the connections he'd built with

631
00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 1: the English prior to his rise for power. Remember that's

632
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:11,520
Speaker 1: where he's hanging out the whole time, as he's in

633
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:14,600
Speaker 1: between coups, means that he can't just sit back if

634
00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:17,799
Speaker 1: they choose to get involved. This is further complicated by

635
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:19,759
Speaker 1: the fact that a lot of French people hated the

636
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:22,160
Speaker 1: English um, so they didn't really want to be on

637
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:25,000
Speaker 1: their side, but they hated the Russians too, which I

638
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:29,960
Speaker 1: think helped a little bit. Um. Ultimately, Louis tells the

639
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:32,560
Speaker 1: French Assembly that he's sending his army some three hundred

640
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:36,000
Speaker 1: thousand men east to help England defend the Sultan against

641
00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:40,000
Speaker 1: Russian aggression. And this war effectively brings France back to

642
00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:42,400
Speaker 1: the world stage as a major player, and it is

643
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:44,920
Speaker 1: the This is why if you've ever wondered, given all

644
00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:47,040
Speaker 1: of the centuries they were fighting each other, well, why

645
00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:48,960
Speaker 1: do France and England wind up on the same side

646
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,160
Speaker 1: in World War one and two? Well it starts here, right,

647
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:52,959
Speaker 1: This is kind of the first time where they wind

648
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:57,680
Speaker 1: up wrapped together, um, in a major war. Yeah, and

649
00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:03,000
Speaker 1: it's um, yeah, it's a big deal special relationship now, yeah,

650
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:06,120
Speaker 1: this this is the start of that. And this is

651
00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:08,680
Speaker 1: often like in kind of the high level summaries of

652
00:36:08,719 --> 00:36:10,640
Speaker 1: like what happens in the Crimean War, you'll hear it

653
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:12,839
Speaker 1: described as like, well, this is the first modern war.

654
00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:15,439
Speaker 1: You know, the French and the British had had better

655
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:18,319
Speaker 1: rail lines and better transit, and like the Russians were

656
00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:20,960
Speaker 1: so just like funk ups and stuff. But also the

657
00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:25,840
Speaker 1: French and British militaries are also disasters in this war. This,

658
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:30,120
Speaker 1: this war is a terrible, terrible war for everybody involved. Um.

659
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:32,680
Speaker 1: And it's a ship show. Because the military that France

660
00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:36,799
Speaker 1: has built since Napoleon isn't really good at fighting in

661
00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:40,360
Speaker 1: conventional wars. They become a colonial policing force built to

662
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:44,520
Speaker 1: like lockdown Algeria and West Africa, and Louis is calling

663
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:47,480
Speaker 1: upon them to like fight these human wave attacks. The

664
00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:50,080
Speaker 1: logistical hurdles are made worse by the fact that Louis

665
00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:53,520
Speaker 1: picks his cousin Jerome Bonaparte as the divisional general who's

666
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:58,480
Speaker 1: running the military now. Jerome gets the job because his cousin,

667
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:03,120
Speaker 1: also named Jere, had fallen alongside Napoleon Bonaparte. I know,

668
00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:08,480
Speaker 1: it's so fucking stupid, Jerry, pick new names, you asks

669
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:13,880
Speaker 1: like God, I hate you. There's Louis and there's Jerry.

670
00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:16,279
Speaker 1: There's only two kinds of names a person could have.

671
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:24,960
Speaker 1: Call him Mitch, have a mitch, Napoleon Bonaparte, Bonaparte, God Almighty.

672
00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:28,560
Speaker 1: So so, Jerome gets this job because his uncle had

673
00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:31,280
Speaker 1: fought with Napoleon. But the thing his uncle was famous

674
00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:35,000
Speaker 1: for was abandoning Napoleon Bonaparte during the marriach to Russia

675
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:38,960
Speaker 1: in eighteen twelve, and like fleeing the empire because he did,

676
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:42,600
Speaker 1: which is not bad look not bad judgment, Like not

677
00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:46,600
Speaker 1: bad judgment. Yeah, but also that might be a red flag.

678
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:50,480
Speaker 1: And sure enough, the instant cousin Jerome sees gunfire, he

679
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:55,840
Speaker 1: goes home, he flees back to Paris. It's in the blood.

680
00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:59,239
Speaker 1: It's in the blood. He learned the thing his dad

681
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:05,799
Speaker 1: learned about are which is naa no ship. Yeah, so

682
00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 1: this earns him the nickname sans plume or gutless Bonaparte.

683
00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:14,000
Speaker 1: That's what they call him now is is gutless bonaparte Um,

684
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:16,239
Speaker 1: which is quite a nickname. And I'm gonna quote next

685
00:38:16,239 --> 00:38:19,600
Speaker 1: from the book The Shadow Emperor. It was a grim

686
00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:21,920
Speaker 1: beginning for what was to prove a very grim campaign

687
00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:25,560
Speaker 1: under sweltering summer temperatures, as dysentery, typhus, typhoid and the

688
00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:29,080
Speaker 1: most deadly cholera epidemic ravaged the ranks. On the fifteenth

689
00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:32,200
Speaker 1: of October, they fought and narrowly won the indecisive victory

690
00:38:32,239 --> 00:38:35,400
Speaker 1: of Balaclava, where the seventh Earl, the mad General Black

691
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:39,680
Speaker 1: Bottle Lord Cardigan Lewis, Napoleon's landlord during his youthful exile

692
00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:42,640
Speaker 1: in London, led his historic six hundred and sixty one

693
00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:45,120
Speaker 1: man cavalry in the Charge of the Light Brigade, of

694
00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:47,680
Speaker 1: which only four hundred and fourteen young men along with

695
00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:50,640
Speaker 1: some three hundred horses survived. So the Charge of the

696
00:38:50,719 --> 00:38:55,120
Speaker 1: Light Brigade guy is his former landlord. He hires hires

697
00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:57,439
Speaker 1: well the breath you know, he does not in charge

698
00:38:57,440 --> 00:39:00,719
Speaker 1: of the British Army. UM. This was followed by the

699
00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:04,160
Speaker 1: Allied victory of Increment on November fifty four, and then

700
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:07,760
Speaker 1: began the unanticipated Eleventh Month Siege against the Russian Marshal

701
00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:11,280
Speaker 1: Marshal Menshikov's fifty to seventy men and they're stoutly defended

702
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:14,280
Speaker 1: port fortress of Sebastopol. They're the French, who had failed

703
00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:16,600
Speaker 1: to bring the heavy artillery for this war, were obliged

704
00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:18,480
Speaker 1: to strip their navy of most of their guns to

705
00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:22,040
Speaker 1: form thirteen batteries of thirty and fifty pound cannon. Um.

706
00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:27,000
Speaker 1: So again he sends the the the nephew of Napoleon Bonaparte,

707
00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:31,840
Speaker 1: an artilleryman, sends his army to war without heavy artillery.

708
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:35,360
Speaker 1: And they taken from the boat. Taken from the boat,

709
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:40,600
Speaker 1: there's not like there's any water near. No, it's very funny. Um.

710
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:44,680
Speaker 1: And again they win because this is also looked. You know,

711
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:46,880
Speaker 1: the Ukrainian military has gotten praised a lot for its

712
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:49,120
Speaker 1: stick tuitiveness. If you spend time talking to people who

713
00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:50,960
Speaker 1: are are there, talking to people have been over there,

714
00:39:51,239 --> 00:39:52,960
Speaker 1: it's still a bit of a ship show. It's a

715
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:56,680
Speaker 1: messy military, right, But again as is the case here.

716
00:39:56,880 --> 00:40:00,120
Speaker 1: The Russians are just so much messier, right that, like

717
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:03,120
Speaker 1: you can you can afford to funk up some when

718
00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:05,440
Speaker 1: the Russians are here, because they're gonna make a lot

719
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:08,600
Speaker 1: of mistakes. Yeah. Um, the Czar is not going to

720
00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:12,319
Speaker 1: be planning this very well. Um, you only need to

721
00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:15,480
Speaker 1: be just a little bit more organized than Russia. Just

722
00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:19,280
Speaker 1: have your ship more together than the Russians. But like barely,

723
00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:22,359
Speaker 1: but barely. That that is the case of everyone who

724
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:27,400
Speaker 1: wins a war against Russia. Um. So, in the end,

725
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:30,600
Speaker 1: the Allies one and the Crimean War was broadly good

726
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:33,359
Speaker 1: for Louis's new regime, but much of this was due

727
00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:35,960
Speaker 1: to luck in great Russian incompetence again, rather than good

728
00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:39,720
Speaker 1: decisions by the Emperor. He sends three thousand men into

729
00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:44,360
Speaker 1: the Crimea and d of them die, mostly from disease

730
00:40:44,440 --> 00:40:47,080
Speaker 1: due to cholera outbreaks, because he doesn't have anyone in

731
00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:51,640
Speaker 1: his army who can manage sanitation very well. Um. So,

732
00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:56,200
Speaker 1: you know, some people will say he's kind of traumatized

733
00:40:56,239 --> 00:41:03,160
Speaker 1: by this um just because like that Louis Napoleon that yeah, yeah, yeah,

734
00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:07,439
Speaker 1: he feels like bad about this um like that he's

735
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:09,479
Speaker 1: because he's the one. He was the one who gets

736
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:11,239
Speaker 1: to make the decision, right, he was the one man

737
00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:13,840
Speaker 1: who sent them into war, and ninety five thousand of

738
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:15,719
Speaker 1: them didn't come back, and that does kind of this

739
00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:18,239
Speaker 1: is what your dad has been telling you. This is

740
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:21,480
Speaker 1: like never, this is literally what your dad was warning

741
00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:25,759
Speaker 1: you about. Sting is pretty bad. Is bad, and you're

742
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:28,839
Speaker 1: gonna feel bad you don't. Don't do it. And then

743
00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:30,960
Speaker 1: he does it. He's like, damn, dude, I don't know

744
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:33,480
Speaker 1: he's going to feel that bad when I should know

745
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:35,919
Speaker 1: his dad is is parent passed on by this point.

746
00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:38,080
Speaker 1: His dad dies while he's in prison, so he doesn't

747
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:39,840
Speaker 1: ever get to be like, oh, yeah, I get what

748
00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:45,839
Speaker 1: you were saying about war being bad. Um. Yeah, but

749
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:48,279
Speaker 1: he's you know that this is this is literally the

750
00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:53,319
Speaker 1: exact thing you were told. Um. Anyway, he finally gets it.

751
00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:56,799
Speaker 1: After CRIMEA. Lewis reiterates his dedication to peace, and then

752
00:41:56,840 --> 00:41:59,560
Speaker 1: he sends soldiers to Italy to crush an independence movement

753
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:03,400
Speaker 1: against the Pope Um. This is basically identical to the

754
00:42:03,440 --> 00:42:05,799
Speaker 1: independence movement he had fought for as a younger man,

755
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,440
Speaker 1: and his brother had died for Um. But now that

756
00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:10,120
Speaker 1: he was King. You know, the church is kind of

757
00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:14,439
Speaker 1: an important ally for him, so he now to be fair.

758
00:42:14,719 --> 00:42:17,280
Speaker 1: He kind of makes up for this in eighteen fifty

759
00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:19,480
Speaker 1: nine when he goes to war with Austria and defeats

760
00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:22,320
Speaker 1: the Habsburg Emperor Franz Joseph, who's a big old prick

761
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:25,520
Speaker 1: in battle for an idea of like, Franz Joseph massive

762
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:28,520
Speaker 1: piece of shit. He loses a war in eighteen fifty

763
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:32,640
Speaker 1: nine that like leads to the end of Austrian domination

764
00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:36,439
Speaker 1: of Italy. Right, Um, eighteen fifty nine, franc Joseph loses

765
00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:39,280
Speaker 1: that war against Napoleon. The third Guess who the Emperor

766
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:44,520
Speaker 1: of Austria Hungary is when World War One starts? Uh,

767
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:50,520
Speaker 1: same guy? Same guy really? Yeah? Fifty four years later,

768
00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:53,600
Speaker 1: five years later, the same guy, Yeah he is. He

769
00:42:53,719 --> 00:42:56,520
Speaker 1: is in charge of Austria Hungary for for fucking ever.

770
00:42:56,880 --> 00:42:59,279
Speaker 1: It is ludicrous how long this guy is running that

771
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:04,120
Speaker 1: fucking country, that fucking train wreck of a country. Um,

772
00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:09,239
Speaker 1: France Joseph like never dies. It sucks so bad because

773
00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:12,799
Speaker 1: he's terrible. He's still around. Yeah, he's still alive right now,

774
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:15,200
Speaker 1: He's still running Austria. Go over there, you'll see, Yeah,

775
00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:17,680
Speaker 1: he's trying to get hungry to come back. Yeah, I

776
00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:19,759
Speaker 1: saw that. There's that picture going around and that like

777
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:22,120
Speaker 1: one monk somewhere in Southeast Asia who looks like a

778
00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:26,759
Speaker 1: skeleton because he's so old. That's that's Franz Joseph. It's

779
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:34,759
Speaker 1: just fucking skeletor on the throne. Damn fight Prussia. So

780
00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:38,799
Speaker 1: Algeria gets officially conquered in eighteen fifty eight. Uh, and

781
00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:41,399
Speaker 1: again they've said this a couple of times, but they

782
00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:44,720
Speaker 1: basically cracked down on the worst of the uprisings again

783
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:47,400
Speaker 1: in eighteen fifty eight. And after this point, with like

784
00:43:47,520 --> 00:43:52,200
Speaker 1: kind of Algeria temporarily pacified, French power begins to expand

785
00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:56,400
Speaker 1: rapidly across Southeast Asia. Um, during the time that Napoleon's

786
00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:59,640
Speaker 1: like early to mid reign, the French military will conquer

787
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:04,160
Speaker 1: v Vietnam, Cambodia, and Lao, creating Yeah, would eventually become

788
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:07,640
Speaker 1: known as French Indo China. This is a nasty thing.

789
00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:10,560
Speaker 1: There are a lot tens of thousands die and eventually

790
00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:14,480
Speaker 1: millions are going to die because of this. Um. Napoleon

791
00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:17,680
Speaker 1: the third lets it happen. He is not a driving

792
00:44:17,719 --> 00:44:20,800
Speaker 1: force behind it. The people who orchestrate this and push

793
00:44:20,840 --> 00:44:23,960
Speaker 1: this are his generals and admirals. The French Navy is

794
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:26,040
Speaker 1: a big driving force with this. And the primary thing

795
00:44:26,040 --> 00:44:27,920
Speaker 1: that you could you should blame Loose Napoleon for is

796
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:30,919
Speaker 1: that again they kind of sit down and talk nice

797
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:32,600
Speaker 1: to him and he just agrees to let them do

798
00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:37,279
Speaker 1: whatever they want. Um and uh, yeah, it's it that

799
00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:40,920
Speaker 1: he doesn't resist and he he lets this thing happen

800
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:45,719
Speaker 1: in part because like people said nice things about him

801
00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:49,959
Speaker 1: and he's kind of that. That's that's basically his big vulnerability. Um.

802
00:44:50,040 --> 00:44:53,000
Speaker 1: So he loves compliments, he loves when um, you know,

803
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:55,919
Speaker 1: it's like Trump with the Saudis. They let him hold

804
00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:59,520
Speaker 1: the globe, you know, the glowing orb, and then he's like,

805
00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:03,319
Speaker 1: all right, here, have some more planes. You give an

806
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:05,719
Speaker 1: app man an ORB and he'll have an ORB for

807
00:45:05,760 --> 00:45:09,760
Speaker 1: a day. You teach a man to find his own orbs. Yeah,

808
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:16,799
Speaker 1: the new book by Robert Evans, Teach Your Man to Orb,

809
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:23,160
Speaker 1: funded by Peter Teal. Finally gonna get that Palentier money

810
00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:27,680
Speaker 1: for something appropriate. Speaking of palent here, you know who

811
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:34,440
Speaker 1: sponsors this podcast, Palentier. So go spy on somebody you know,

812
00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:41,080
Speaker 1: Palentteer's new Everybody's Spy program. Just record someone, anybody, anybody

813
00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:43,600
Speaker 1: who doesn't know you're recording them, and then mail that

814
00:45:43,760 --> 00:45:46,239
Speaker 1: in an envelope to Peter Teal. He'll stick it up

815
00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:48,560
Speaker 1: on a drop box somewhere. Don't worry about what happens

816
00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:58,960
Speaker 1: to it. Ah, we're back, boy, howdy. I sure love

817
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:02,399
Speaker 1: recording people with out there express consent me too, It's

818
00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:05,719
Speaker 1: my favorite thing to do. That's why I enjoyed the

819
00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:10,879
Speaker 1: services of Palanteer Palentier. If you touch it, you'll see

820
00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:15,520
Speaker 1: Sauron's great eye. It is so fucked up that a

821
00:46:15,520 --> 00:46:19,000
Speaker 1: guy named a company that. It's insane. It's insane. It's

822
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:21,160
Speaker 1: so on the nose. If people talk about like I

823
00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:23,200
Speaker 1: wonder what token would have felt about like the Lord

824
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:24,839
Speaker 1: of the Rings movies and stuff like, No, I want

825
00:46:24,880 --> 00:46:26,680
Speaker 1: to know nobody would have felt about that ship that

826
00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:31,200
Speaker 1: there's like like someone literally built a palatiner. It's named

827
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:36,160
Speaker 1: it Palenteer. That's fucking ridiculous. It's a bit on the nose, Yeah,

828
00:46:36,239 --> 00:46:38,600
Speaker 1: a little bit on the nose. Over that's an Oxford

829
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:49,279
Speaker 1: dawn accent. Whatever, crying under beach, the two accents. I

830
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:51,880
Speaker 1: can do it. Would be funny to do a movie

831
00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:54,799
Speaker 1: on Jaire or Token, but like hire somebody with one

832
00:46:56,239 --> 00:47:03,640
Speaker 1: like a re accent to play token. I got to

833
00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:12,120
Speaker 1: spike to you and now fish I am English dead Brilli.

834
00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:18,120
Speaker 1: So it's probably fair to say anyway, whatever, this is

835
00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:20,080
Speaker 1: going to be a problem for tens of millions of

836
00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:23,120
Speaker 1: people in the future. Um, and it all happens at

837
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:27,560
Speaker 1: least without any resistance by Napoleon the Third. Back in Europe,

838
00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:29,759
Speaker 1: the negotiations at the end of the Crimean War had

839
00:47:29,760 --> 00:47:32,320
Speaker 1: made Napoleon the Third into one of the central diplomats

840
00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:36,160
Speaker 1: of European power politics. Italian unification would eventually owe a

841
00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:39,440
Speaker 1: great deal to his lobbying and fighting with Austria. He

842
00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:42,600
Speaker 1: began to look overseas to the America's where Louis Napoleon

843
00:47:42,680 --> 00:47:45,520
Speaker 1: was greatly concerned with the expansion of the United States.

844
00:47:45,840 --> 00:47:48,080
Speaker 1: He'd liked America, and he had admired a lot of

845
00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:51,080
Speaker 1: aspects of like American are technologically driven culture while he

846
00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:54,000
Speaker 1: was there. But he was canny enough to see like, well,

847
00:47:54,040 --> 00:47:57,000
Speaker 1: they kind of like murdered their way into control of

848
00:47:57,200 --> 00:48:00,719
Speaker 1: most of the world's resources. Um, they have like a

849
00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:03,520
Speaker 1: dozen Europe's worth of country that they just own now,

850
00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:06,200
Speaker 1: and uh, it kind of seems like they might become

851
00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:08,080
Speaker 1: the pre eminent power in the world, and I should

852
00:48:08,080 --> 00:48:10,480
Speaker 1: do something to stop that because I would like that

853
00:48:10,520 --> 00:48:13,000
Speaker 1: to be France. Yeah, that's supposed to be me. That's

854
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:15,200
Speaker 1: supposed to be me. So in the late eighteen fifties,

855
00:48:15,200 --> 00:48:18,759
Speaker 1: he begins courting Maximilian Habsburg, who's the brother of the

856
00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:22,399
Speaker 1: Austrian Emperor Franz Joseph Um and trying to convince him

857
00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:29,359
Speaker 1: to become the Emperor of Mexico. So, first off, brilliant plan, incredible,

858
00:48:29,560 --> 00:48:35,919
Speaker 1: no notes. You know all Mexico's there, Well, it needs

859
00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:38,920
Speaker 1: an emperor. What if Yeah, you know what, the solution

860
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:43,680
Speaker 1: to all of Mexico's problems are a German speaking guy. Yeah,

861
00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:49,239
Speaker 1: a German emperor. I think it's a great idea. Walk

862
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:52,319
Speaker 1: around Warez right now. What you know, you guys got

863
00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:55,439
Speaker 1: a lot of problems with Cartel's and not enough water,

864
00:48:55,520 --> 00:48:58,200
Speaker 1: all this good stuff. What if a German was in charge?

865
00:48:58,640 --> 00:49:01,680
Speaker 1: You think that will help? Uh? So, first I want

866
00:49:01,719 --> 00:49:08,040
Speaker 1: to say, last been great. So I am going to

867
00:49:08,120 --> 00:49:13,640
Speaker 1: be how you say, and um, you people are just

868
00:49:13,719 --> 00:49:18,360
Speaker 1: going to uh, you're going to be my amigos do you,

869
00:49:18,680 --> 00:49:24,719
Speaker 1: uh compreende, It's very hard to do with has basically

870
00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:26,880
Speaker 1: gotten all of it right though that if that is

871
00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:31,520
Speaker 1: this guy fucking Maximilian Habsburg just an out. So one

872
00:49:31,560 --> 00:49:33,360
Speaker 1: of the things that I do for fun is I

873
00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:36,080
Speaker 1: will troll Edward Habsburg, who is the current heir to

874
00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:39,359
Speaker 1: the Hapsburg family and a monarchist piece of shit um

875
00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:42,279
Speaker 1: and like some weirdly ais onto the Catholic Church, he's

876
00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:45,800
Speaker 1: a fucking asshole. He loves anime though weirdly enough anyway,

877
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:48,480
Speaker 1: I will troll him, and I will troll him specifically

878
00:49:48,560 --> 00:49:51,880
Speaker 1: about the fact that Maximilian von Habsburg is eventually executed

879
00:49:51,880 --> 00:49:54,640
Speaker 1: by a firing squad, And every time I do, I

880
00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:56,759
Speaker 1: get fucking royalists in my mentions, being like, well, he

881
00:49:56,840 --> 00:49:59,000
Speaker 1: was actually a great leader in if Mexico would fall, No,

882
00:49:59,120 --> 00:50:01,880
Speaker 1: he wasn't. They shot him to death. That doesn't happen

883
00:50:01,920 --> 00:50:05,080
Speaker 1: to you if you're a great Great leaders do sometimes

884
00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:07,759
Speaker 1: great leaders get assassinated by a lone guy with a gun.

885
00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:10,600
Speaker 1: Share We've all seen that happen. Great leaders do not

886
00:50:10,719 --> 00:50:15,200
Speaker 1: get executed by the mass acclaim of the populace right exactly,

887
00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:19,799
Speaker 1: and then completely wiped from the general history exactly. Like

888
00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:21,880
Speaker 1: I like to think I know a little bit about

889
00:50:22,040 --> 00:50:28,200
Speaker 1: Mexican history, and I don't celebrate this guy. Yeah, Like

890
00:50:28,360 --> 00:50:31,960
Speaker 1: so I know about like the whole like the peri

891
00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:35,160
Speaker 1: at a regime that happened during that time and whatnot.

892
00:50:35,360 --> 00:50:38,279
Speaker 1: Battle comes out of this, right, But Inferio Diaz, I

893
00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:40,480
Speaker 1: think is his name is one of the generals, one

894
00:50:40,560 --> 00:50:44,160
Speaker 1: of the generals who fights Maximilian Um. So anyway, we're

895
00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:46,840
Speaker 1: getting ahead of ourselves. So the way that Napoleon the

896
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:49,480
Speaker 1: Third proceeds with cooking the ship up is he gets

897
00:50:49,480 --> 00:50:52,520
Speaker 1: a handful of Mexican academics and politicians, most of whom

898
00:50:52,520 --> 00:50:54,640
Speaker 1: are living in Europe and have been like because Mexico

899
00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:57,560
Speaker 1: tons of civil wars. Right, so you have a bunch

900
00:50:57,640 --> 00:50:59,440
Speaker 1: of like di as for guys who are like in

901
00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:02,440
Speaker 1: Europe trying to like raise money and support for some

902
00:51:02,520 --> 00:51:04,960
Speaker 1: kind of revolution or another. He gets a bunch of

903
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:08,200
Speaker 1: these guys back to back the idea that like the

904
00:51:08,280 --> 00:51:12,000
Speaker 1: regular Mexican people are just like clamoring for a European emperor,

905
00:51:12,120 --> 00:51:15,400
Speaker 1: just like the big countries. Right, yeah, please, there is

906
00:51:15,520 --> 00:51:19,640
Speaker 1: zero evidence of this. There's absolutely no evidence of this

907
00:51:20,280 --> 00:51:24,759
Speaker 1: um And in fact, so the Tuba music we like

908
00:51:24,880 --> 00:51:29,000
Speaker 1: too for an idea of like how little the Mexican

909
00:51:29,040 --> 00:51:33,600
Speaker 1: people wanted an emperor. So there's this, you know, there's

910
00:51:33,640 --> 00:51:37,320
Speaker 1: this like Mexico gets its its independence in like eighteen

911
00:51:37,560 --> 00:51:41,239
Speaker 1: twenty one um from Spain, and the guy who like

912
00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:44,480
Speaker 1: leads the independence movement is this dude, Augustine a turbine

913
00:51:44,960 --> 00:51:48,400
Speaker 1: um who then declares himself the Emperor of Mexico. And

914
00:51:48,440 --> 00:51:50,360
Speaker 1: do you know what the Mexican people do to a

915
00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:54,120
Speaker 1: turbine They fucking murder him, They fucking kill him because

916
00:51:54,160 --> 00:51:57,160
Speaker 1: they don't like having an emperor. Like, no, we don't,

917
00:51:57,680 --> 00:52:00,960
Speaker 1: We're not with that, Yeah, which you take is evidence

918
00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:04,640
Speaker 1: that Mexicans don't want to have an emperor. Yeah, it

919
00:52:04,680 --> 00:52:08,560
Speaker 1: seems historically true. Napoleon the Third assumes this has to

920
00:52:08,640 --> 00:52:11,880
Speaker 1: just be some like like fluke of history. Uh, and

921
00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:15,360
Speaker 1: he keeps on plotting. And while he's playing power politics,

922
00:52:15,440 --> 00:52:19,040
Speaker 1: Napoleon the Third also presides over the creation of modern party.

923
00:52:19,760 --> 00:52:22,280
Speaker 1: The city as we know it today, with its wide

924
00:52:22,320 --> 00:52:26,840
Speaker 1: boulevards and iconic architecture, was largely created during Louis Napoleon's reign.

925
00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:28,360
Speaker 1: And I want to quote now from a write up

926
00:52:28,360 --> 00:52:32,840
Speaker 1: in the Conversation by Samuel Raybone quote. Louis Napoleon inherited

927
00:52:32,840 --> 00:52:35,719
Speaker 1: a cramped, crumbling, and crime ridden capital. Paris is one

928
00:52:35,760 --> 00:52:38,560
Speaker 1: million inhabitants lived cheek by jowl in a vast tangle

929
00:52:38,600 --> 00:52:41,000
Speaker 1: of densely packed buildings. There was even a slum in

930
00:52:41,040 --> 00:52:44,560
Speaker 1: the courtyard of the Louver. Modernizing Paris promised more than

931
00:52:44,600 --> 00:52:47,520
Speaker 1: practical benefits. I want to be a second Augustus, wrote

932
00:52:47,600 --> 00:52:50,839
Speaker 1: Louis Napoleon in eighteen forty two. Because Augustus made Rome

933
00:52:50,920 --> 00:52:53,439
Speaker 1: a city of marble, it meant glory. So he hired

934
00:52:53,480 --> 00:52:57,000
Speaker 1: a ruthlessly efficient administrator, Baron Houseman, to knock down the

935
00:52:57,040 --> 00:53:00,560
Speaker 1: old slums. The city became a building site. Charles Marvel's

936
00:53:00,560 --> 00:53:03,080
Speaker 1: photographs record the squalor of the slums, the chaos of

937
00:53:03,120 --> 00:53:06,000
Speaker 1: their transformation, and the spectacle of their rebirth. Thousands of

938
00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:08,879
Speaker 1: men were drafted into an army of construction, battling away

939
00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:10,719
Speaker 1: on this new field of honor for the glory of

940
00:53:10,719 --> 00:53:15,600
Speaker 1: the nation and it's increasingly power hungry leader. Now, the

941
00:53:15,719 --> 00:53:19,000
Speaker 1: downside of using populist rhetoric to get people to endorse

942
00:53:19,040 --> 00:53:21,719
Speaker 1: your dictatorial regime is that you really can't afford to

943
00:53:21,760 --> 00:53:24,520
Speaker 1: pish your base off too much, right, because that's how

944
00:53:24,560 --> 00:53:28,080
Speaker 1: you've justified your power, and Lewis had taken power, promising

945
00:53:28,080 --> 00:53:30,680
Speaker 1: to renew France and bring hope for the working class.

946
00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:33,600
Speaker 1: One commenter noted that quote a week's interruption of the

947
00:53:33,640 --> 00:53:37,719
Speaker 1: building trade would terrify the government. Everything rode on continued

948
00:53:37,840 --> 00:53:40,960
Speaker 1: mass public employment. So he's giving people jobs to do

949
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:44,640
Speaker 1: all this rebuilding and the perception of continuous progress. To

950
00:53:44,760 --> 00:53:47,200
Speaker 1: ensure that people believe this. Napoleon the Third turned to

951
00:53:47,239 --> 00:53:50,040
Speaker 1: the still very new silence of photography, which would only

952
00:53:50,080 --> 00:53:52,560
Speaker 1: come about in the eighteen forties. He commissioned the best

953
00:53:52,560 --> 00:53:55,279
Speaker 1: photographs refers of the day to document the renovation of

954
00:53:55,320 --> 00:53:58,120
Speaker 1: the Louver, the construction of new bridges, and an opera house.

955
00:53:58,320 --> 00:54:00,840
Speaker 1: These photos were published widely, building on a national and

956
00:54:00,840 --> 00:54:04,120
Speaker 1: international image of Paris as a city being renewed. Other

957
00:54:04,160 --> 00:54:06,880
Speaker 1: photographers at the time noted that the pictures Napoleon the

958
00:54:06,920 --> 00:54:09,319
Speaker 1: Third commissioned to focus on the titanic scale of his

959
00:54:09,320 --> 00:54:12,400
Speaker 1: new public works projects and the clean lines of new construction.

960
00:54:12,760 --> 00:54:16,040
Speaker 1: The workers erecting it, by contrast, were always tiny quote,

961
00:54:16,160 --> 00:54:19,120
Speaker 1: trapped in the labyrinth of scaffolding. As one commenter put it,

962
00:54:19,400 --> 00:54:22,360
Speaker 1: the mighty ends for Napoleon stamped on every new project,

963
00:54:22,440 --> 00:54:26,200
Speaker 1: dwarfed the humans who made them. Raybone continues as Napoleon

964
00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:29,400
Speaker 1: the Third's interior minister knew in industry has its injured

965
00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:31,759
Speaker 1: like war, and the rebuilding of Paris too had its

966
00:54:31,760 --> 00:54:35,120
Speaker 1: glorious war wounded. In eighteen fifty five, Napoleon the Third

967
00:54:35,200 --> 00:54:38,040
Speaker 1: ordered the construction of a convalescent asylum to care for

968
00:54:38,120 --> 00:54:41,560
Speaker 1: workers injured during the building works. Charles Negra visited the

969
00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:44,640
Speaker 1: asylum around eighteen fifty eight to photograph its buildings, patients,

970
00:54:44,640 --> 00:54:46,960
Speaker 1: and staff. To get paid. Negro knew he had to

971
00:54:46,960 --> 00:54:49,840
Speaker 1: tow the party line, yet the body season he encountered

972
00:54:49,840 --> 00:54:51,759
Speaker 1: had been wounded in the war for Napoleon the Third

973
00:54:51,800 --> 00:54:55,320
Speaker 1: self aggrandizement, giving the lie to his image of populist benevolence.

974
00:54:55,600 --> 00:54:58,200
Speaker 1: Never's challenge was to celebrate Napoleon the Third's care for

975
00:54:58,200 --> 00:55:02,160
Speaker 1: their sufferers suffering without review his culpability for it. So

976
00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:05,960
Speaker 1: never and this is this hasn't happened before. Photographs have

977
00:55:06,040 --> 00:55:08,440
Speaker 1: not been used in this way. And you can't. You

978
00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:11,360
Speaker 1: can't use paintings and ship like this, right. There are

979
00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:13,480
Speaker 1: ways to use them for propaganda, sure, but not the

980
00:55:13,520 --> 00:55:16,920
Speaker 1: way that photograph. There's a sense that a photograph is

981
00:55:16,960 --> 00:55:19,600
Speaker 1: a depiction of reality in a way that is not

982
00:55:19,680 --> 00:55:22,560
Speaker 1: the case. Everyone even always understood, like, yeah, the Emperor

983
00:55:22,560 --> 00:55:24,680
Speaker 1: puts up these fucking statues and these reliefs, but like

984
00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:29,200
Speaker 1: they're carvings and stone. It's not like literal photograph that's reality.

985
00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:33,000
Speaker 1: And so Napoleon is the first world leader to really

986
00:55:33,160 --> 00:55:37,920
Speaker 1: comprehensively use photographs and in order to like craft an

987
00:55:37,960 --> 00:55:42,680
Speaker 1: alternate vision of reality in his propaganda. Um yeah, it's uh,

988
00:55:42,719 --> 00:55:44,680
Speaker 1: you know, it's like as soon as we invent like

989
00:55:44,719 --> 00:55:47,319
Speaker 1: a new mass media technology, where like, how can I

990
00:55:47,400 --> 00:55:51,840
Speaker 1: use this for political propaganda? Yeah? Um never a position

991
00:55:51,880 --> 00:55:54,600
Speaker 1: to patients and medical staff angled towards a marble bust

992
00:55:54,640 --> 00:55:57,879
Speaker 1: of Napoleon the third, his face clear, and there's indistinct

993
00:55:57,880 --> 00:56:02,360
Speaker 1: individually meaningless patients only be shown eating, playing, and reading.

994
00:56:02,680 --> 00:56:05,600
Speaker 1: Actual medical procedures were forbidden to be shown, as was

995
00:56:05,680 --> 00:56:09,839
Speaker 1: evidence of permanent disability or injury. Generations of authoritarians would

996
00:56:09,840 --> 00:56:12,440
Speaker 1: build on the work Napoleon did to turn his photography

997
00:56:12,480 --> 00:56:14,920
Speaker 1: into part of his cult of personality. But it all

998
00:56:14,960 --> 00:56:21,040
Speaker 1: started here. It just it sucks so much because it's, uh,

999
00:56:22,280 --> 00:56:26,120
Speaker 1: you realize that like a lot of these people. You

1000
00:56:26,160 --> 00:56:30,840
Speaker 1: know that, Like you said, this empire's populist empire is

1001
00:56:30,920 --> 00:56:33,880
Speaker 1: built on like making sure the population is like loves

1002
00:56:33,920 --> 00:56:37,279
Speaker 1: you and stays in line. And I think another big

1003
00:56:37,320 --> 00:56:42,719
Speaker 1: part of uh, like the complete renovation of Paris and

1004
00:56:42,800 --> 00:56:45,799
Speaker 1: like basically these people were employed to destroy their own

1005
00:56:45,800 --> 00:56:51,040
Speaker 1: homes and build newer, uh different homes and wider boulevards.

1006
00:56:51,120 --> 00:56:54,560
Speaker 1: That made it much much harder to do a popular revolution.

1007
00:56:55,560 --> 00:56:57,960
Speaker 1: That is also a big part of why they're redesigning

1008
00:56:58,040 --> 00:57:01,240
Speaker 1: Paris this way. It's like, yes, we keep having government's

1009
00:57:01,280 --> 00:57:04,200
Speaker 1: get overthrown by the people, right because that harder. I

1010
00:57:04,239 --> 00:57:06,000
Speaker 1: want to make it easier to shoot a lot of

1011
00:57:06,040 --> 00:57:09,239
Speaker 1: people very quickly right right there, Like they built it,

1012
00:57:09,480 --> 00:57:12,080
Speaker 1: I think I remember it's something like they built it

1013
00:57:12,239 --> 00:57:15,120
Speaker 1: to be just the size of a whole regiment of

1014
00:57:16,160 --> 00:57:20,040
Speaker 1: like cavalry or some ship. Like yeah, this is this

1015
00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:23,400
Speaker 1: is him basically making it all those like cool barricades

1016
00:57:23,480 --> 00:57:26,720
Speaker 1: from the past like not possible. And that sucks because

1017
00:57:26,760 --> 00:57:30,960
Speaker 1: there's so much institutional history of them building them barricades. Dude,

1018
00:57:30,960 --> 00:57:33,280
Speaker 1: Like what are people gonna do with that knowledge? Yeah,

1019
00:57:33,600 --> 00:57:36,680
Speaker 1: now you're never going to get the sequel to Limisserab. Yeah,

1020
00:57:37,120 --> 00:57:40,160
Speaker 1: that sucks, dude, that that's the tragedy. There's not gonna

1021
00:57:40,200 --> 00:57:43,560
Speaker 1: be another role for Russell Crowe to sing in. Yeah,

1022
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:47,000
Speaker 1: fucking what's Russell Crowe gonna do with his career? Yeah?

1023
00:57:47,240 --> 00:57:51,760
Speaker 1: Did anyone think about Russell Crowe before they expanded the boulevards? Once?

1024
00:57:52,360 --> 00:57:56,520
Speaker 1: Think about Russell Crowe? I don't think so, not once,

1025
00:57:56,720 --> 00:57:59,760
Speaker 1: not a single time? Bullshit? And is that his greatest

1026
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:03,840
Speaker 1: I'm greater than conquering Indo China, greater than killing all

1027
00:58:03,840 --> 00:58:08,040
Speaker 1: of those people in the rebuilding projects, you know, greater. Yeah,

1028
00:58:08,640 --> 00:58:16,320
Speaker 1: we're all in agreement anyway. I love Russell Crowe. Yeah,

1029
00:58:16,760 --> 00:58:18,920
Speaker 1: you know, he's just like, how did we get on

1030
00:58:19,080 --> 00:58:21,840
Speaker 1: Russell Crowe talk? I'm gonna say it's Sophie. He's the

1031
00:58:21,920 --> 00:58:26,200
Speaker 1: only actor. That's not true. He's the only actor. No

1032
00:58:26,240 --> 00:58:32,760
Speaker 1: one else isn't. Pedro. Yeah, that's not acting, not like

1033
00:58:32,840 --> 00:58:36,400
Speaker 1: Russell Crowe can. I'd love to see Pedro Pascal badly

1034
00:58:36,520 --> 00:58:40,160
Speaker 1: sing all of the tunes and Mr Rob exactly. He

1035
00:58:40,200 --> 00:58:43,680
Speaker 1: couldn't rememorize all those you've actually watched the because he

1036
00:58:43,800 --> 00:58:47,480
Speaker 1: probably it was it is. Look, there's some good parts

1037
00:58:47,480 --> 00:58:50,960
Speaker 1: to that visually, but man, Russell Crowe is not a singer.

1038
00:58:55,520 --> 00:59:01,040
Speaker 1: He's in that band like something. However, many feet of runs. Yeah,

1039
00:59:01,080 --> 00:59:03,520
Speaker 1: I'm sure he's doing a lot of music. That's what

1040
00:59:03,600 --> 00:59:05,760
Speaker 1: I think. I mean, it's not I will say this,

1041
00:59:05,960 --> 00:59:08,840
Speaker 1: the Limissa rob adaptation with Russell Crowe is not nearly

1042
00:59:08,880 --> 00:59:11,640
Speaker 1: as bad as the adaptation of Sweeney Todd with fucking

1043
00:59:12,200 --> 00:59:16,440
Speaker 1: Johnny Depp, who It's heartbreaking because I love Sweeney Todd.

1044
00:59:16,560 --> 00:59:19,640
Speaker 1: It's a great music. It's a great musical. Fucking Alan

1045
00:59:19,720 --> 00:59:24,400
Speaker 1: Rickman incredible, jod like his voice, very wonderful, the kid

1046
00:59:24,480 --> 00:59:28,080
Speaker 1: they get to play Toby, perfect voice, beautiful voice. And

1047
00:59:28,120 --> 00:59:33,120
Speaker 1: then you've got fucking Sweeney Todd played by like Johnny Depp,

1048
00:59:33,120 --> 00:59:34,840
Speaker 1: outside of all of the other things that are wrong

1049
00:59:34,840 --> 00:59:38,200
Speaker 1: with Johnny Depp, not a strong singer, and for fucking

1050
00:59:38,200 --> 00:59:41,120
Speaker 1: Sweeney Todd, you have to be a strong goddamn singer.

1051
00:59:41,280 --> 00:59:49,400
Speaker 1: It's that's the lead musical. Get a good singer, God,

1052
00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:54,600
Speaker 1: Russell Crow, get Russell Crow, make him be Sweeney Todd. Yeah,

1053
00:59:56,480 --> 01:00:00,880
Speaker 1: that's the solution. That's the solution. I'm glad we figured

1054
01:00:00,880 --> 01:00:04,440
Speaker 1: all this out, matt leebug before we rull out for

1055
01:00:04,480 --> 01:00:09,080
Speaker 1: the day. So much to plug follow me on you know,

1056
01:00:09,160 --> 01:00:12,120
Speaker 1: Instagram at matt Leap jokes. But I do a podcast.

1057
01:00:12,200 --> 01:00:15,960
Speaker 1: I do a couple of podcasts that our TV rewatch podcasts,

1058
01:00:16,560 --> 01:00:19,680
Speaker 1: and uh, Pod Yourself a Gun is a Sopranos podcast,

1059
01:00:19,680 --> 01:00:22,920
Speaker 1: and I'm going to be doing a live show of

1060
01:00:23,040 --> 01:00:29,440
Speaker 1: Pod Yourself a Gun at San Francisco Sketch Fest Saturday,

1061
01:00:29,560 --> 01:00:36,160
Speaker 1: January at ten pm Piano Fight main Stage. Please if

1062
01:00:36,200 --> 01:00:39,440
Speaker 1: you like the Sopranos um or the Wire, because now

1063
01:00:39,480 --> 01:00:42,320
Speaker 1: we do the Wire podcast, check that out. Go to

1064
01:00:42,400 --> 01:00:44,680
Speaker 1: s F sketch Fest dot com look up Pod Yourself

1065
01:00:44,880 --> 01:00:49,360
Speaker 1: a Gun and buy tickets please because that would be support,

1066
01:00:49,440 --> 01:00:54,160
Speaker 1: Matt support and Robert and I have a couple of

1067
01:00:54,240 --> 01:00:58,840
Speaker 1: events coming up, don't we Robert. That seems like a lie, okay.

1068
01:00:58,880 --> 01:01:01,960
Speaker 1: One of them is a live virtual event that we

1069
01:01:02,040 --> 01:01:06,280
Speaker 1: are doing with moment House and featuring Margaret kill Joys

1070
01:01:06,280 --> 01:01:09,440
Speaker 1: and Behind the Bastard's livestream show that will be happening

1071
01:01:09,440 --> 01:01:12,400
Speaker 1: on December eighth at six pm Pacific and if you

1072
01:01:12,440 --> 01:01:14,520
Speaker 1: can't make it, we'll be on demand for up to

1073
01:01:14,880 --> 01:01:18,400
Speaker 1: a week um and you can get tickets at moment

1074
01:01:18,440 --> 01:01:22,640
Speaker 1: house dot co, slash bTB and it's should be smart

1075
01:01:23,200 --> 01:01:26,640
Speaker 1: splattered all over social So how do you say that splattered?

1076
01:01:26,680 --> 01:01:30,800
Speaker 1: I'm going with it, Yes, all over splooged all over

1077
01:01:31,440 --> 01:01:33,880
Speaker 1: social media. And if I remember, I will link it

1078
01:01:33,960 --> 01:01:37,000
Speaker 1: in the description. UM and Robert and I will also

1079
01:01:37,800 --> 01:01:42,439
Speaker 1: be at SF sketch Fest. Hell yeah, hell yeah yeah.

1080
01:01:42,640 --> 01:01:46,120
Speaker 1: So you know, uh, what if we went on strike

1081
01:01:46,200 --> 01:01:48,480
Speaker 1: at sketch Fest, You know, Matt, what if we struck

1082
01:01:48,520 --> 01:01:52,080
Speaker 1: for more? I what do I remember about sketch Fest.

1083
01:01:52,240 --> 01:01:54,760
Speaker 1: They gave us a bunch of those those waters that

1084
01:01:54,800 --> 01:01:58,600
Speaker 1: are like big beer cans. For more of those? Yeah,

1085
01:01:58,640 --> 01:02:01,120
Speaker 1: let's strike for more of that ship more liquid death.

1086
01:02:01,200 --> 01:02:03,680
Speaker 1: And I think also, um, I forget. I don't know

1087
01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:06,480
Speaker 1: if Audible is a sponsor again this year, but if

1088
01:02:06,480 --> 01:02:09,560
Speaker 1: they are, I'm I said, we strike for more UM

1089
01:02:10,080 --> 01:02:13,520
Speaker 1: free credit codes and gift cards. Yeah. I like audio

1090
01:02:13,600 --> 01:02:16,120
Speaker 1: books and I don't like having to pay. I don't

1091
01:02:16,160 --> 01:02:18,600
Speaker 1: I love audio books and I hate paying for things.

1092
01:02:18,640 --> 01:02:22,600
Speaker 1: So help us, help Matt and I strike against uh

1093
01:02:24,040 --> 01:02:28,200
Speaker 1: the good people at SF sketch who have invited us

1094
01:02:30,360 --> 01:02:34,280
Speaker 1: but definitely but definitely by tickets, but also support our

1095
01:02:34,360 --> 01:02:39,280
Speaker 1: strike against there They're evil, not giving me like right now,

1096
01:02:39,440 --> 01:02:41,360
Speaker 1: I would like one of those liquid death cans and

1097
01:02:41,440 --> 01:02:43,920
Speaker 1: I don't have it, and I'm furious. Man, they make

1098
01:02:44,040 --> 01:02:47,439
Speaker 1: caffeinated Anyways, I believe Behind the Bastards will be there

1099
01:02:47,440 --> 01:02:50,880
Speaker 1: on January. I don't have any more information when we're

1100
01:02:50,920 --> 01:02:53,400
Speaker 1: recording this, but I'm sure you'll see more in the future.

1101
01:02:53,480 --> 01:02:58,640
Speaker 1: Also by Robert's book After the Revolution. Yes, I do it?

1102
01:02:58,840 --> 01:03:03,880
Speaker 1: Did I do the plugs? Yeah? Episode fucking over, Bye bye,

1103
01:03:04,080 --> 01:03:10,280
Speaker 1: goddamn right bye. Behind the Bastards is a production of

1104
01:03:10,320 --> 01:03:13,360
Speaker 1: cool Zone Media. For more from cool zone Media, visit

1105
01:03:13,360 --> 01:03:16,720
Speaker 1: our website cool zone media dot com, or check us

1106
01:03:16,760 --> 01:03:19,240
Speaker 1: out on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or

1107
01:03:19,280 --> 01:03:20,720
Speaker 1: wherever you get your podcasts.