1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,360 Speaker 1: Toxic relationships aren't everywhere. So we're giving you five examples 2 00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:06,560 Speaker 1: of toxic relationships that get increasingly more toxic so you 3 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:08,680 Speaker 1: can avoid them. Put on your hazmat suit and let's 4 00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:11,360 Speaker 1: jump into number five. They fed up by ignoring a 5 00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:13,960 Speaker 1: helicopter crash where I could have saved someone because my 6 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,680 Speaker 1: wife said it's not worth your time. 7 00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:16,599 Speaker 2: Thanks. 8 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:19,920 Speaker 1: Yikes, dude, your wife does not sound like a good person. 9 00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:23,080 Speaker 1: Let's go, dude, Kobe could have survived. 10 00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:27,880 Speaker 2: No, now I'm mad? 11 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:31,560 Speaker 1: Did did? Was there any like survivors from the Kobe helicopters? 12 00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:36,360 Speaker 1: You know? The day after Kobe died in a helicopter crash, 13 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:40,360 Speaker 1: I went up in a helicopter hmmm, And my mom 14 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:42,920 Speaker 1: was like, I can't believe you're doing that, Like that's 15 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,440 Speaker 1: so dangerous, and I'm like, mom, the chances of there 16 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:49,000 Speaker 1: being two helicopter crashes back to back is very low. 17 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:52,479 Speaker 3: That would have been insane, though, I would have been insane. 18 00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:56,080 Speaker 3: You're like, no, Samuel Donor what I would have known? 19 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:56,440 Speaker 2: You then? 20 00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:59,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, you would have known. That would have ruined everything. 21 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:03,480 Speaker 1: So this happened, I don't know, in two thousand and eight, 22 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:06,200 Speaker 1: and it's a memory that unfortunately won't go away in 23 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:09,720 Speaker 1: my life. It popped up again unintentionally and unprovoked the 24 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:11,640 Speaker 1: other night, and it just doesn't sit right with me, 25 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:14,399 Speaker 1: and I'm always left with the regret, and I'm remorse. 26 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:15,959 Speaker 1: So the year was two thousand and eight or so. 27 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:18,560 Speaker 1: I tried googling the news headlines to corroborate my claim, 28 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:21,440 Speaker 1: but I'm not very good with that sort of advanced research. 29 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:24,440 Speaker 1: My then wife at the time is not a good 30 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:28,800 Speaker 1: person at heart. Yikes Yikes called it. She was a 31 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:32,080 Speaker 1: Karen in training and very self centered. We were heading 32 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:34,640 Speaker 1: up the one oh one in California for her cousin's 33 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:37,240 Speaker 1: wedding one weekend. I want to say it was around Salinas, 34 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:40,000 Speaker 1: before the exit to head west to the Monterey That 35 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:43,520 Speaker 1: is when the accident happened. I saw a spray helicopter 36 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:45,600 Speaker 1: about one hundred yards on our right take off from 37 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:47,760 Speaker 1: the fields, and watched it get about fifty feet in 38 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:50,240 Speaker 1: the air, not too high for a helicopter, but enough 39 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:52,920 Speaker 1: to be low for a helicopter. I saw it hovering 40 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,960 Speaker 1: there and then saw the propellers for a second quite visibly, 41 00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:59,200 Speaker 1: which caught my attention because you should, honestly never see 42 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:02,400 Speaker 1: them rotating that when airborne. So now I'm paying complete 43 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:05,520 Speaker 1: attention to the hello, which I guess is short for helicopter. 44 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:08,400 Speaker 1: And I watched smoke come out of its engines and 45 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:12,280 Speaker 1: then just stop and plummet to the ground like a rock. 46 00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:14,560 Speaker 1: I saw it happen and pointed it out, and I 47 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:16,720 Speaker 1: started to pull over to the shoulder to help, and 48 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:19,560 Speaker 1: she yells at me, what are you doing. I'm pulling 49 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:21,880 Speaker 1: over to help. What are you going to do. I've 50 00:02:21,919 --> 00:02:23,760 Speaker 1: got a fire extinguisher in the car. I can go 51 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:26,160 Speaker 1: put out the flames and try and pull them out. 52 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,720 Speaker 1: You're not a marine anymore. You can't just go running 53 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:32,160 Speaker 1: off and saving people anytime anymore. But they could be hurt. 54 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:34,720 Speaker 1: And I see smoke everywhere. No, we're going to be 55 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:37,440 Speaker 1: late for the wedding. Let someone else deal with it. 56 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:40,200 Speaker 1: So away we went. I found out later on during 57 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:43,160 Speaker 1: the week in the news that two people died inside 58 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:46,760 Speaker 1: the fire before emergency services got there. The worst part 59 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:49,600 Speaker 1: is that when we finally arrived to her cousin's wedding, 60 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:53,480 Speaker 1: we found out that we were deemed unimportant enough for 61 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:56,400 Speaker 1: the actual ceremony, and it was the reception we were 62 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:59,080 Speaker 1: hurrying too. I feel like those deaths are on me 63 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:01,080 Speaker 1: and I should have done something. 64 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:01,600 Speaker 2: Edit. 65 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:04,520 Speaker 1: Thanks for all the well wishes and dms. No, I 66 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:07,720 Speaker 1: don't know why comments got locked. I received no messages 67 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:10,920 Speaker 1: about it. I'm aware I've got issues with PTSD from 68 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:14,200 Speaker 1: war related things and mostly in my time as at PMC. 69 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,400 Speaker 1: What's a PMC. 70 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:18,720 Speaker 3: Private military company like security contract? 71 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:19,000 Speaker 2: Right? 72 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:22,400 Speaker 1: I do do therapy and talk about everything. Perhaps it's 73 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:24,480 Speaker 1: time to add this one to the list. It is 74 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:27,840 Speaker 1: odd to me that specific instances pop up, but thanks 75 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:29,360 Speaker 1: for allowing me to share it. I still feel bad, 76 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:32,000 Speaker 1: though slightly less bad thanks some to the comments. The 77 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:34,680 Speaker 1: helicopter never actually exploded, but yes, I'm aware of my 78 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:37,800 Speaker 1: rinky dink extinguisher would have been as useful as a 79 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,080 Speaker 1: bottle of water if I remembered correctly. It was a 80 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:43,280 Speaker 1: small cockpit fire and the engine had just died. Hence 81 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:46,400 Speaker 1: my regret for not at least trying. No one's found 82 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,000 Speaker 1: the article yet, but I appreciate the effort truly. It's 83 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,040 Speaker 1: why I mentioned it. If it helps. I want to 84 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:54,000 Speaker 1: say it was around early afternoon, maybe definitely not that 85 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:57,040 Speaker 1: morning crash. People keep sending me where the people survived. 86 00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:59,120 Speaker 1: I wish it was though, So, what do you think 87 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:02,760 Speaker 1: is Op's wife the a hole for not letting him 88 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:04,680 Speaker 1: save two people from a fiery death? 89 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:05,720 Speaker 2: How close were they again? 90 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:07,520 Speaker 1: They were like, I guess it was like they were 91 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:09,320 Speaker 1: on the freeway and it was like right on the 92 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:10,240 Speaker 1: other side of the freeway. 93 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:13,400 Speaker 2: Do you think you could save someone from then? I 94 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:13,720 Speaker 2: don't know. 95 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:15,840 Speaker 1: If you saw a helicopter crash on the side of 96 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,880 Speaker 1: the road, would you stop? 97 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:19,120 Speaker 2: I called the cops. 98 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:21,719 Speaker 1: I called I saw a fire like last week that 99 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:24,400 Speaker 1: was pretty big, and I called the cops. Dude, yeah, 100 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:26,000 Speaker 1: nine one one baby. It was the first time I 101 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:29,239 Speaker 1: did it, actually name, I never called nine one before. 102 00:04:29,279 --> 00:04:32,000 Speaker 2: That's crazy. I do have a nine one one story? 103 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:32,520 Speaker 1: How have you? 104 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:32,599 Speaker 3: What? 105 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,479 Speaker 1: What do do you do? Oh? 106 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:36,160 Speaker 2: So I called number one one? 107 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:39,080 Speaker 1: Wait really quick, put your answers in the comments. One 108 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:41,600 Speaker 1: if you've ever called nine one one before and why? 109 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:45,320 Speaker 1: And two if you saw a helicopter crash, would you 110 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:46,800 Speaker 1: try to do something or would you just call nine 111 00:04:46,839 --> 00:04:48,000 Speaker 1: one one? Or would you do nothing? 112 00:04:48,279 --> 00:04:48,479 Speaker 3: Riley? 113 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:49,599 Speaker 1: What's your nine one story? 114 00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:52,600 Speaker 3: I would maybe try to see what I could do 115 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:56,360 Speaker 3: if it was in flames, called nine one. So I 116 00:04:56,400 --> 00:05:00,520 Speaker 3: was in seventh grade and my dad's friend need help, 117 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:03,720 Speaker 3: like move like cutting down some like trees, like some 118 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:05,520 Speaker 3: little thin pine trees. 119 00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:06,920 Speaker 2: They were dead at his house. 120 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:09,000 Speaker 3: So my dad got this dump truck and it was 121 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:11,239 Speaker 3: me and my brother and my dad and his friend. 122 00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:12,080 Speaker 2: And it was hot. 123 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:17,040 Speaker 3: It was like the hottest day of that summer. And 124 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:20,040 Speaker 3: I remember just like working there. We were maybe like 125 00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:23,120 Speaker 3: twenty thirty minutes in. I was like, I was like 126 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:26,039 Speaker 3: looking up. I was like, Lord, I would do anything 127 00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:29,080 Speaker 3: to get out of this situation right now. Oh no, 128 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:31,640 Speaker 3: And so we I was kind of getting into this 129 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:33,560 Speaker 3: way of things. I was like putting the my dad 130 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:35,719 Speaker 3: would cut the trees at the bottom. Him and his 131 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:39,480 Speaker 3: friend would with chainsaws, and me and my brother would 132 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:41,559 Speaker 3: take the little trees and throw them into the dump truck. 133 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:43,240 Speaker 1: Yeah. 134 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:48,479 Speaker 3: So like he so he's left handed using a right 135 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:51,320 Speaker 3: handed chainsaw. So he's like cutting this tree kind of 136 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:54,320 Speaker 3: at this angle, right right down the middle. And I 137 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:57,839 Speaker 3: remember seeing him do it, so like I like walked 138 00:05:57,839 --> 00:06:00,760 Speaker 3: around him. I was just doing it and he went boom, boom, 139 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:04,880 Speaker 3: popped up boom right into the face, right into the face. 140 00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:06,760 Speaker 1: This is not your dad, this is your dad's friend. 141 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:07,360 Speaker 2: This is my dad. 142 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:08,280 Speaker 1: This is your dad? 143 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:09,479 Speaker 2: Is my dad? You know what. 144 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:12,680 Speaker 3: The first thing I thought was what, he's going to 145 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:15,040 Speaker 3: have an eye patch? And I was like thinking, in 146 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:18,520 Speaker 3: that moment, my life with my dad having an eye patch. 147 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:20,000 Speaker 3: And I was like, this is crazy, Like people are 148 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,679 Speaker 3: going to ask me about it, ask me what happened. 149 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:24,680 Speaker 2: Halloween's gonna be weird. He'll probably dress up like that 150 00:06:24,839 --> 00:06:27,919 Speaker 2: was just what was going on right head. Yeah. 151 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:29,680 Speaker 3: And then my second thing was like, oh, this would 152 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:32,320 Speaker 3: be a great time to call nine one one. And 153 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:35,400 Speaker 3: I called nine one one and I asked the god 154 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:36,280 Speaker 3: what the address was? 155 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:37,560 Speaker 1: Got it wrong? Wait? 156 00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:37,680 Speaker 3: Wait? 157 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:39,279 Speaker 1: Wait? Were like, was your dad bleeding? 158 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:41,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, he was bleeding. He's bleeding. Ever were like down 159 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:42,200 Speaker 2: this thing? 160 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:43,480 Speaker 1: He was like oh. 161 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:45,720 Speaker 2: I was like you're good. He's like ah. 162 00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:48,039 Speaker 3: So I was like all right, So I go in 163 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,600 Speaker 3: the house, tell the friend and I'm like super calm. 164 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:51,039 Speaker 2: He's like. 165 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:52,920 Speaker 3: I was like, hey, my dad just got h in 166 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:55,279 Speaker 3: the face by chainsaw and he's like, oh my gosh. 167 00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:57,520 Speaker 3: I was like, so what's the address? He tells me 168 00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:00,520 Speaker 3: call the cops. Get the address wrong because they're like, 169 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:03,240 Speaker 3: you're saying you're here, but you're actually here. Should we 170 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:05,040 Speaker 3: come there, and I was like, yeah, come come. 171 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:05,919 Speaker 2: To where you tracked me. 172 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:09,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, if they come, and my little brother, he's like 173 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,520 Speaker 3: the first spawnders come. My little brother just side crying 174 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:15,720 Speaker 3: and he's like he's like and I'm like calming him down, like. 175 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:18,160 Speaker 2: It's okay, that'll be all right. To the side. 176 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:20,880 Speaker 3: My dad's having a conversation with the first responders and 177 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:22,960 Speaker 3: they ask him like, is there anything we can help 178 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:24,960 Speaker 3: you with? And my dad's joking and he's like, we'll 179 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,600 Speaker 3: have some poison ivy on my leg, like can you 180 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:32,800 Speaker 3: help me cure that? And one responder very loudly says, well, we. 181 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,000 Speaker 2: Can't do anything about that. 182 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:39,080 Speaker 3: And my brother, here's that and he just goes it, 183 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:40,360 Speaker 3: just starts crying again. 184 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:43,560 Speaker 1: Oh no, what happened with your dad's face? 185 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,640 Speaker 3: So he has like a little scar. He's like six 186 00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:47,880 Speaker 3: or eight. With the scar, it's not too noticeable, but 187 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:50,760 Speaker 3: kind of scary. He had to get a metal plate 188 00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:53,280 Speaker 3: in his face. He lost the tooth after a few 189 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,600 Speaker 3: years it got loose, but he got a new tooth in. 190 00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:59,880 Speaker 3: But he's good now. If he didn't have the sunglasses on, 191 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,200 Speaker 3: you would have lost an eye. Wow. 192 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:01,880 Speaker 2: But he's good. 193 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:06,400 Speaker 1: Damn, that's crazy. It's pretty you for thinking quick, being 194 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:08,720 Speaker 1: calm and calling nine one one. Yeah. Yeah, And you 195 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:10,880 Speaker 1: know I'm going to call it on this story and 196 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:12,640 Speaker 1: I'm going to go to the next one. Yeah. I 197 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:15,320 Speaker 1: think the wife is completely the asshole for that. Yeah, 198 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:19,640 Speaker 1: could save them all right, So my boyfriend manipulated me 199 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,000 Speaker 1: for the last time, so I'm going to throw him out. 200 00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:24,160 Speaker 1: Am I the a hole? And this is uh near 201 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:26,720 Speaker 1: and dear to the heart because this is from our 202 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:30,320 Speaker 1: slash Okop show hosted by UB two thousand. So when 203 00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:32,720 Speaker 1: I twenty three, female was nineteen, so I guess four 204 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:34,720 Speaker 1: years ago, I was working at a hotel as a 205 00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:37,160 Speaker 1: room service attendance. I met a twenty six year old 206 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,880 Speaker 1: man who worked through a temp agency in banquets. The 207 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:43,079 Speaker 1: age difference never really struck me, as I already had 208 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:45,720 Speaker 1: a thing for older guys. Okay, so he's seven years 209 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:47,000 Speaker 1: old or nineteen and twenty six? 210 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:49,400 Speaker 2: Would you would you nineteen years year old? 211 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:52,000 Speaker 1: There was one I think it would be, I mean 212 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,800 Speaker 1: it would be I think it would be weird dating 213 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:56,760 Speaker 1: someone in college. But if it was like a nineteen 214 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:58,960 Speaker 1: year old that wasn't in college and like was doing 215 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,720 Speaker 1: like crazy things in the world. Maybe I think it's 216 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:03,600 Speaker 1: more of like a less of an age thing and 217 00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:06,400 Speaker 1: more of like a interest. Are you Are you in 218 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:07,760 Speaker 1: the same like life stage? It's me. 219 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:11,160 Speaker 3: Yeah. I saw a couple at a party and I 220 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:13,600 Speaker 3: thought they were a thing, and she was like, I'm eighteen, 221 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:14,320 Speaker 3: I'm twenty six. 222 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:15,280 Speaker 2: But they weren't a thing. 223 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:18,199 Speaker 1: So I was already that we were at Yeah. 224 00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:20,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, I was like, wow, this is crazy. 225 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:23,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, but looking back, it was rather disturbing that a 226 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:26,760 Speaker 1: man with a fully formed brain was interested in someone 227 00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:30,360 Speaker 1: who had just become an adult that year in our state? 228 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:33,160 Speaker 1: Nineteen is the age of adulthood? Is that? What state 229 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:33,480 Speaker 1: is that? 230 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:33,640 Speaker 2: It? 231 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:36,320 Speaker 1: Now? What? It's eighteen? Everywhere? Is it not? 232 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:37,240 Speaker 2: Is it consent? 233 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:39,160 Speaker 1: Age of consent is eighteen everywhere? 234 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:42,240 Speaker 2: I thought, what state is nineteen? 235 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:47,040 Speaker 3: Legal age Alabama and Nebraska and Mississippi is at twenty one? 236 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:50,120 Speaker 1: Is when you're illegal adults? Yeah, that's not the age 237 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:52,680 Speaker 1: of consent? She said, She said, I legal interested in 238 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:55,200 Speaker 1: someone that just became a legal adult. So what's that? 239 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:57,480 Speaker 1: So that but you can vote at eighteen? What can 240 00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,960 Speaker 1: you not do? What's the difference between what is illegal? 241 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:03,000 Speaker 3: Don't mean the age at which a person gains control 242 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:06,560 Speaker 3: over their own actions and affairs and becomes responsible for 243 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:08,240 Speaker 3: the decisions that they make. 244 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:11,240 Speaker 1: At twenty one, Is it responsible for the decisions? 245 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,000 Speaker 2: No way, that's what it says, Mississippi. 246 00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:15,360 Speaker 1: I'm confused, all right. If anyone has insight into that, 247 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:18,839 Speaker 1: please let me know. He was charming and I had 248 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,520 Speaker 1: low self esteem. As we connected, he told me he 249 00:10:21,559 --> 00:10:25,720 Speaker 1: was homeless. Man, Oh, you could do better. Me. Being 250 00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:29,360 Speaker 1: the autistic, overly empathetic, and naive people pleaser, I asked 251 00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:31,160 Speaker 1: my mom if you could stay with us. To my 252 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:34,280 Speaker 1: utter shock, she said yes. I was somewhat uncomfortable with 253 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:36,960 Speaker 1: the whole thing because I recognized that I hardly knew 254 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,960 Speaker 1: this man. Why are you inviting a dude that you 255 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:43,920 Speaker 1: don't know into your home. He's charming, he's charming, he's hot. 256 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:44,480 Speaker 2: He's hot. 257 00:10:44,559 --> 00:10:46,920 Speaker 1: Possibly, But again, I was a people pleaser, so I 258 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:49,920 Speaker 1: told my mom and said yes. He was always vague 259 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:51,800 Speaker 1: about how he ended up homeless, which should have been 260 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:54,320 Speaker 1: a red flag, but I blinded myself because he was 261 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:55,880 Speaker 1: giving me a lot of attention. I think I was 262 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:58,240 Speaker 1: holding out hope that the red flags were to a 263 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:01,520 Speaker 1: mini golf course. That's funny, I for you. We also 264 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:04,560 Speaker 1: ended up hooking up the first night, but it honestly 265 00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:06,480 Speaker 1: didn't know how to feel about that because it was 266 00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:10,200 Speaker 1: my second time ever with anyone. His manipulation slowly started 267 00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:12,680 Speaker 1: peeking its way in. It started with him never wanting 268 00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:15,640 Speaker 1: to leave my room beyond going to work weird. You'd 269 00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:18,160 Speaker 1: also make comments about work, like you could never do 270 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:21,920 Speaker 1: what I do in banquets and your day couldn't compare 271 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,320 Speaker 1: to mine, which did make me feel something of a 272 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:27,240 Speaker 1: negative feeling, but I just brushed it off. He then 273 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:30,080 Speaker 1: would trash the shows I like and insists we watched 274 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:33,200 Speaker 1: stupid shows and scary movies he wanted to watch. It 275 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:36,280 Speaker 1: got even more toxic from there. He also at one 276 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,400 Speaker 1: point tried telling me the new phone I chose for 277 00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:40,920 Speaker 1: myself was the wrong phone because it wasn't the phone 278 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:42,840 Speaker 1: he told me to get. This might sound odd, but 279 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:45,680 Speaker 1: I really loved that phone, So that was what started 280 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:49,840 Speaker 1: souring my view of him. Then the Fateful night started 281 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:52,680 Speaker 1: That evening. I was at work when he drunkenly called me, 282 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:55,680 Speaker 1: and I could hear women in the background and whistling 283 00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:58,040 Speaker 1: with loud music. After I got off my shift, I 284 00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:01,600 Speaker 1: found him plastered and found out he spent his entire 285 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:04,480 Speaker 1: check at a strip club and never paid my mom 286 00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:07,240 Speaker 1: for anything, and he's staying in their house. The absolute 287 00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:10,240 Speaker 1: final straw was when he fell over and smashed one 288 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:12,640 Speaker 1: of my bins that held very important to me, at 289 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:16,199 Speaker 1: least craft projects I had spent months upon months completing. 290 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:19,360 Speaker 1: I told him he was done. I had tolerated far 291 00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:22,079 Speaker 1: too much and I was sick of it. He packed 292 00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:24,200 Speaker 1: his stuff and at two AM, as I was driving 293 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:26,440 Speaker 1: him to work, where he said someone could pick him up, 294 00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:28,160 Speaker 1: he hopped out of the car at a red light 295 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:30,440 Speaker 1: and left his stuff in the trunk. I tried to 296 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:33,400 Speaker 1: go after him, but it was seriously dark with minimal 297 00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:35,880 Speaker 1: street lighting. I ended up the next day dropping his 298 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:38,640 Speaker 1: stuff off at security. My boss was pissed and I 299 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:41,439 Speaker 1: tried getting him banned from the property, but couldn't since 300 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:44,280 Speaker 1: it happened off the premises and off the clock. That night, 301 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:47,360 Speaker 1: I drove to the Walmart and browsed through the clearance 302 00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:49,160 Speaker 1: section until I felt like it was okay. So he 303 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:51,640 Speaker 1: just like ran off, Yeah, that was what happened, jeez. 304 00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:53,719 Speaker 1: That night, I drove to Walmart and browsed through the 305 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:55,680 Speaker 1: clearance section until I felt like it was okay. I 306 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:57,760 Speaker 1: also fixed my bin with a couple rolls of duct 307 00:12:57,760 --> 00:12:59,920 Speaker 1: tape from the clearance section, and I fixed some broke 308 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:01,160 Speaker 1: in crafts. 309 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:03,360 Speaker 2: Because he destroyed the right one of his association. 310 00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:06,760 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, the whole experience let me shaken, angry, sad, betrayed, 311 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:08,760 Speaker 1: and confused. But as I look back on it, I'm 312 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:11,600 Speaker 1: ultimately proud of myself for kicking him out at all, 313 00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:13,600 Speaker 1: as any other women in my family would have begged 314 00:13:13,679 --> 00:13:15,120 Speaker 1: him to come back. I have not been in a 315 00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:18,000 Speaker 1: steady relationship since, but I've been single by choice the 316 00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:21,280 Speaker 1: past two years in building on myself in my life. Remember, 317 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:23,199 Speaker 1: guys and gals, no one has the right to make 318 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:26,679 Speaker 1: you feel any negative feelings about yourself. Never let someone 319 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,400 Speaker 1: tear you down, even if you're strong enough to build 320 00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:32,880 Speaker 1: yourself back up. We're all worthy of never having to settle. 321 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,720 Speaker 1: Please let me know if you need to edit this 322 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:37,360 Speaker 1: for any reason. Thank you, Thank you for submitting that, 323 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:40,400 Speaker 1: and awesome for you to like actually leaving. But ope, 324 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:45,720 Speaker 1: never let some random dude live with you again unless 325 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:48,959 Speaker 1: they're very vetted, because that's that's a little spooky. 326 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:51,640 Speaker 2: And your mom like being like, yeah. 327 00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:54,800 Speaker 1: Of course, I'm surprised Opie's mom was so chill with it. Yeah, 328 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:59,600 Speaker 1: I've am would not be chill chill. Oh yeah, I 329 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:01,719 Speaker 1: love would be furious. 330 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:06,480 Speaker 3: We were in the car today and Sam's mom called 331 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:09,959 Speaker 3: and she had a list of like things Sam should 332 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:13,400 Speaker 3: check on for the house, and I was like, Wow, she. 333 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:16,440 Speaker 1: Really loves bossing me around. 334 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:19,800 Speaker 3: Hopefully she doesn't watch this like I didn't want to 335 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:21,600 Speaker 3: be that way, But she loves him. 336 00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:25,800 Speaker 1: She cares, she cares. It's intent sometimes. Well, let's get 337 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:28,120 Speaker 1: into this next story. 338 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:32,360 Speaker 2: Mommy, what do you say? 339 00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:36,920 Speaker 1: You fuck? Am I the asshole for telling my son 340 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,160 Speaker 1: he deserved his girlfriend breaking up with. 341 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:40,520 Speaker 2: Him, would you do, buddy? 342 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:43,120 Speaker 1: Yeah? I mean maybe you did deserve her. Let's see, So, 343 00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:46,360 Speaker 1: my son has had a long distance girlfriend recently for 344 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,600 Speaker 1: about two years. She was great, a really nice girl, 345 00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:52,160 Speaker 1: and we all loved her and welcomed her with open arms. 346 00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:54,800 Speaker 1: She was flying here constantly to visit him, like a 347 00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:58,040 Speaker 1: weekend a month, and he didn't lift a finger to 348 00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:00,120 Speaker 1: go visit her, which is kind of messed up. I 349 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:02,040 Speaker 1: tried talking to him about it several times and told 350 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:04,320 Speaker 1: him he should really start looking into flying over to 351 00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:07,240 Speaker 1: her instead of expecting her to do all the traveling. 352 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:11,000 Speaker 1: He said, well, she can come to me and Barbie, 353 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:13,280 Speaker 1: this dick don't fly and. 354 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:18,000 Speaker 2: Barbie, what did kin want? Like a low have you 355 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:18,600 Speaker 2: seen Barbie? 356 00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:18,800 Speaker 1: No? 357 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:21,640 Speaker 3: Oh, there's like one where like he's like, it would 358 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:24,040 Speaker 3: be really cool if you were like my low commitment girlfriend, 359 00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:26,000 Speaker 3: long distant girlfriend or something like that. 360 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,800 Speaker 1: That's what that's what Opie his boyfriend wants. 361 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:29,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what he wants. 362 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:32,440 Speaker 1: Oh wait, that's what Ope's son wants. 363 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:33,680 Speaker 2: Rather, opis son's one. 364 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:36,440 Speaker 1: Yeah. And my wife probably had something to do with it, 365 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:40,040 Speaker 1: as she constantly told him she was afraid of him flying. 366 00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:42,440 Speaker 1: I spoke to them both and said, this girl is 367 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:44,480 Speaker 1: great for him. She was willing to move over to 368 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:47,160 Speaker 1: our country too. Oh so they're a country away. Oh, 369 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:49,680 Speaker 1: but said there was one condition, and that was he'd 370 00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:51,920 Speaker 1: have to fly over to her country too, which is 371 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,640 Speaker 1: fair enough. He said, no, he didn't want to fly 372 00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:58,040 Speaker 1: to travel anywhere. My son was becoming lazier and lazier, 373 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:01,000 Speaker 1: eventually telling his girlfriend and us that he was perfectly 374 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:04,680 Speaker 1: fine never traveling anywhere, including holidays, et cetera. And last 375 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:07,160 Speaker 1: week he told us she's dumped him. I went on 376 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,360 Speaker 1: our Facebook page, and we're all still friends, and she 377 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:11,600 Speaker 1: wrote us an apology letter about how she's upset it 378 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:13,800 Speaker 1: didn't work out, but these things happen, so we're on 379 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:15,960 Speaker 1: good terms. And it looks like she's with a new 380 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,800 Speaker 1: guy already that's back. Me and my wife have no 381 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:21,040 Speaker 1: doubt she was seeing him. Will still in a relationship 382 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:23,080 Speaker 1: with my son. I confess to them both that I 383 00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:25,960 Speaker 1: actually agree with her decision and he should have expected it. 384 00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:28,120 Speaker 1: He did not treat her properly, and I hope he 385 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:30,520 Speaker 1: learns lessons for the next one, because he needs to 386 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:32,840 Speaker 1: make more of an effort. I said. He deserves it 387 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:35,320 Speaker 1: for his lack of effort in the relationship and for 388 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:38,160 Speaker 1: essentially just allowing this girl to spend all her money 389 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:40,400 Speaker 1: and time coming here all the time. Wife and son 390 00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:43,160 Speaker 1: are very upset that I said this, very upset, and 391 00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:46,000 Speaker 1: my wife says I'm being horrible, So am I the asshole? 392 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:48,400 Speaker 1: I stand by what I said. I would love to 393 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:49,840 Speaker 1: know what you guys think. Butt your answers in the 394 00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:52,720 Speaker 1: comments if you think opez asshole, I think, yes, there 395 00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:54,240 Speaker 1: is a time to say all of this, but I 396 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,400 Speaker 1: don't think it's immediately after he just got broken up 397 00:16:56,440 --> 00:17:00,280 Speaker 1: with Yeah, it's like he's in an emotional state. This 398 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,640 Speaker 1: isn't this isn't gonna He's not going to receive that 399 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,040 Speaker 1: well in that state, you know. 400 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:06,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, I would like to know like kind of the 401 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:08,320 Speaker 2: tone he like said it to him. 402 00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:09,840 Speaker 1: I mean it seems like a bad tone. 403 00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:10,840 Speaker 2: It was pretty stern. 404 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:14,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, seems pretty pretty shitty. I don't think if 405 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:16,480 Speaker 1: if that was my son, I think I would be 406 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:19,760 Speaker 1: consoling initially and then be like hey, like when he's 407 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:21,119 Speaker 1: a little bit better, like, hey, I want to talk 408 00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:22,879 Speaker 1: to you about the relationship. I don't think you treated 409 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:23,200 Speaker 1: her right. 410 00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:23,560 Speaker 2: Yeah. 411 00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:26,320 Speaker 3: I feel like the song wasn't considered it because consider 412 00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:29,680 Speaker 3: it because like all the time and money she spent 413 00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:31,720 Speaker 3: on him whenever he was like, eh, you're all right. 414 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:35,639 Speaker 1: And also it is a long term or it is 415 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,240 Speaker 1: a long distant relationship with it that that's very hard, 416 00:17:38,359 --> 00:17:41,000 Speaker 1: and the son's young, you know, like and like maybe 417 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,480 Speaker 1: he's also just not that inter or too. 418 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:43,240 Speaker 2: Yeah. 419 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:44,560 Speaker 1: I just could be that as well. 420 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,399 Speaker 2: It's a lesson learning lesson. 421 00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:48,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, it feels like a little bit of an asshole 422 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:52,840 Speaker 1: move by OP to like rub into him. But I 423 00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:54,560 Speaker 1: do think maybe if OP is saying like, hey, if 424 00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:55,879 Speaker 1: you don't want this happen again, like this is what 425 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:59,320 Speaker 1: you should do. Give advice from that perspective, but I 426 00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:01,760 Speaker 1: think laying into him while the sun is raw is 427 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:03,240 Speaker 1: kind of like a little mean. 428 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:04,919 Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, I know. 429 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,600 Speaker 1: What do you guys think? Put your answers to the commons. 430 00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:07,920 Speaker 1: But we're gonna get into this next story. 431 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:10,520 Speaker 2: Dude, speed ring a machine over here.