1 00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:07,480 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha. I don't kind of 2 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:09,399 Speaker 1: stuff I never told your protection of I heart radio. 3 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:23,479 Speaker 1: So today we wanted to talk about friends giving and 4 00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:25,759 Speaker 1: where it came from and what it asked to do 5 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:29,840 Speaker 1: with emotional labor, especially for women that we've talked about before. 6 00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:32,440 Speaker 1: I'm sure a lot of us are feeling it right now. 7 00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:35,520 Speaker 1: Samantha and I just kind of had a mini distress 8 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:39,720 Speaker 1: moment before doing this, so I want to ask you, Samantha, 9 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:44,680 Speaker 1: do you celebrate friends giving? So for a little while 10 00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:47,879 Speaker 1: we did, and I just remembered I had two different 11 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:51,360 Speaker 1: ones for two very different reasons. Holidays are awful for me. 12 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:53,880 Speaker 1: I don't love it. Um trying to get better about 13 00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:55,880 Speaker 1: it every year. I think I've told this story before. 14 00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:58,360 Speaker 1: Every year I really try, and then when it comes around, 15 00:00:58,360 --> 00:00:59,600 Speaker 1: I was like, no, I don't like it. I don't 16 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:02,200 Speaker 1: like it. Let me just sit and alone on my couch. 17 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:05,440 Speaker 1: And of course, just the last year with a pandemic 18 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:08,560 Speaker 1: and coronavirus going around and then my whole family got 19 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:11,600 Speaker 1: affected like real hard, so it's really easy for me 20 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:14,440 Speaker 1: to step out of that one. But of course that 21 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:16,959 Speaker 1: also meant we didn't do the friends giving that we 22 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:20,080 Speaker 1: have done before. I will say I had one group 23 00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:23,720 Speaker 1: of friends who did it when I would do racing, 24 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,679 Speaker 1: which is really weird because I did a couple of 25 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:28,319 Speaker 1: half marathons where afterwards I would go and I'm like, 26 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:30,800 Speaker 1: I'm eating pies all day because I just ran their 27 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:34,280 Speaker 1: team point one mile and I can do this right, um. 28 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:36,120 Speaker 1: And I remember celebrating with them. We did that for 29 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:38,039 Speaker 1: a couple of years, and then that kind of fell 30 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:41,600 Speaker 1: through because they end up having their own families and 31 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:45,000 Speaker 1: or other traditions happened. And then I went to another 32 00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:48,560 Speaker 1: one which was beautiful and they were good friends and 33 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:52,040 Speaker 1: they just hosted a whole feast. So my two really 34 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:54,720 Speaker 1: good friends. One of them is a chef and he 35 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:58,360 Speaker 1: kills it and makes all these things, best mac and cheese, 36 00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:00,200 Speaker 1: all of the things. And we come to there and 37 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:03,800 Speaker 1: I usually bring in like, hey, I bought cookies. You're welcome, um, 38 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:06,680 Speaker 1: because I just get nervous and I just get overwhelmed 39 00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:09,200 Speaker 1: with all of that. As you know you've seen me cook. 40 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:13,160 Speaker 1: It's a it's a task. It's always delightful. I try, 41 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,359 Speaker 1: but I really do enjoy it. I think it got 42 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,760 Speaker 1: bigger and bigger for that one and so started getting 43 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 1: too chaotic for me, where I'm like, I have to 44 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:24,360 Speaker 1: hang out with strangers now because friends, friends of friends 45 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:29,119 Speaker 1: would come and then I'm like, what do we do now? Right? 46 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:33,000 Speaker 1: But that actually quickly changed to being like secret not 47 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,960 Speaker 1: secret Santa, but like the silly Santa's where you have 48 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:39,240 Speaker 1: to take away gifts from each other or whatever that 49 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:41,799 Speaker 1: that gift is. I can't remember the name of it. 50 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:44,519 Speaker 1: But so it became that as well because it would 51 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:47,680 Speaker 1: be in between Christmas and Thanksgiving, so we would have 52 00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:51,519 Speaker 1: meal and share the mill. But it wasn't necessarily Thanksgiving, 53 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:55,280 Speaker 1: so was friends Giving obviously, but also geared towards Christmas. 54 00:02:55,320 --> 00:03:01,920 Speaker 1: It became that, right, right. I think I also celebrate 55 00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:05,800 Speaker 1: several different friends givings because I have a lot of 56 00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:09,880 Speaker 1: different friends groups that just don't interact for one reason 57 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:11,880 Speaker 1: or the other. Usually it's just they come from different 58 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:14,359 Speaker 1: points of my life and they don't intersect. Do you know, 59 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:16,919 Speaker 1: I've been thinking about this and maybe we need to 60 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:19,800 Speaker 1: do an episode, But do you isolate friend groups? Yeah? 61 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:22,560 Speaker 1: I think you know. I'm pretty bad about it, honestly, Yeah, 62 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:25,679 Speaker 1: I'm a real I get really nervous about one of 63 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:29,280 Speaker 1: my friends don't like each other and I am I 64 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:31,400 Speaker 1: feel that same way. But I feel like all of 65 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:35,200 Speaker 1: my friends should be each other's friends perfectly. So I 66 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:38,400 Speaker 1: just bring everybody together no matter what, unless it's something 67 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:40,360 Speaker 1: specific like oh, this is a work function, so we're 68 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:43,640 Speaker 1: gonna keep this a work function. But like if you 69 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:45,839 Speaker 1: make it into my friend group, I try to mix 70 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:48,640 Speaker 1: up all of friends, but I have several friends who 71 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:52,520 Speaker 1: you included that keep them isolated in specific pockets, and 72 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:57,360 Speaker 1: I find that interesting whole different conversations. I will I 73 00:03:57,400 --> 00:04:01,760 Speaker 1: will intersect the friend groups and it almost always goes okay. Um. 74 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:05,080 Speaker 1: I have a few instances where it didn't, but I 75 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,200 Speaker 1: just get I get some of my head about it. 76 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:09,280 Speaker 1: I get so worried about it, and I'm always like, 77 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:11,440 Speaker 1: what if they're mad I invited this person they don't know. 78 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:13,720 Speaker 1: I think about it to way too much. But anyway, 79 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:15,760 Speaker 1: so for a while I was going to like three 80 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:18,240 Speaker 1: or four every year, and that's like a different It's 81 00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:21,039 Speaker 1: really funny to me that this holiday started out as 82 00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:24,279 Speaker 1: like a way to not be stressed and have a 83 00:04:24,279 --> 00:04:27,800 Speaker 1: relaxing one, and then, as we are wont to do 84 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:31,520 Speaker 1: in America and with capitalism, it did sort of go 85 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:34,400 Speaker 1: opted we're gonna talk all about that. I still love 86 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,480 Speaker 1: friends Giving, but it it it was like, Okay, now 87 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:41,520 Speaker 1: I've gone from like two celebrations to seven, um, and 88 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:45,640 Speaker 1: so I celebrate. I'm going to one this Friday, hopefully 89 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:50,520 Speaker 1: this Friday or next Friday. This Friday, because friends Giving 90 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:54,800 Speaker 1: usually takes place the Friday, well, we'll talk about that. 91 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,279 Speaker 1: It's it usually takes place the weekend before or after, 92 00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:00,400 Speaker 1: like two weeks after Thanksgiving. Um. But I did have 93 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:03,200 Speaker 1: a friend group that did it. Um. They would have 94 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:06,839 Speaker 1: their friends Giving the day after Thanksgiving, and I could 95 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:10,240 Speaker 1: never go because like I'm still in family mode at 96 00:05:10,279 --> 00:05:15,000 Speaker 1: that point. And it was always a bummer because I 97 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,960 Speaker 1: wanted to go. I like those friends, but they also 98 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:20,000 Speaker 1: lived like an hour away, so it wasn't the right, 99 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:24,479 Speaker 1: super easy thing. Well, you know Caroline previously of stuff 100 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:27,000 Speaker 1: I've never told you. Her birthday is always the day 101 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:31,039 Speaker 1: after Thanksgiving, and it's always like more right near Thanksgiving. 102 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,919 Speaker 1: It is always such a bumber because she's like no 103 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:37,920 Speaker 1: one's around. I can't hang with anybody, right, I know, 104 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:39,880 Speaker 1: And I always do try to make an effort to 105 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:42,520 Speaker 1: get to her party, which I feel like she usually 106 00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:45,120 Speaker 1: throws like two days later something. Yeah, she tried because 107 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:48,200 Speaker 1: she knows that if if she wants people there, typically 108 00:05:48,279 --> 00:05:50,880 Speaker 1: she has to wait. But yeah, right, I was like, 109 00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:53,400 Speaker 1: oh man, my sister is the same way. Her birthday 110 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:56,719 Speaker 1: is right after Christmas. Yeah. Yeah, I've had some I 111 00:05:56,760 --> 00:06:01,840 Speaker 1: have some friends that I have that issue is well, Um, 112 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:04,880 Speaker 1: and I feel like a mine my main friend group 113 00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:07,760 Speaker 1: that I've had that does friends giving. Um, we've been 114 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,520 Speaker 1: doing it since high school, which is actually when it 115 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:12,560 Speaker 1: started to get really popular. But it has also become 116 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:16,719 Speaker 1: kind of a Christmas slash Thanksgiving where we exchange gifts 117 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:19,640 Speaker 1: and stuff like that. So that makes sense to me 118 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:26,040 Speaker 1: easier to kind of smash it together. Right, Okay, So 119 00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:29,279 Speaker 1: we wanted to talk about what friends giving is some 120 00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:31,880 Speaker 1: of the history behind it. Yeah, it's pretty much what 121 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:34,320 Speaker 1: it sounds like. Friends Giving is typically a gathering of 122 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:37,200 Speaker 1: friends of a large meal, happened sometimes around the American 123 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:40,359 Speaker 1: holiday of Thanksgiving, sometimes as a replacement for the holiday 124 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:43,600 Speaker 1: usually celebrated with family. So for some it's a way 125 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:45,839 Speaker 1: to get out of a family gathering all For others, 126 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:47,920 Speaker 1: it's much more of a logistical choice, like maybe you're 127 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:50,359 Speaker 1: setting out of the country. Um, Like I had a 128 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:53,360 Speaker 1: lot of friends in college who you know, we're from 129 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,040 Speaker 1: a different country and they're not going to fly home 130 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:57,200 Speaker 1: or even different parts of the country, Like not everyone 131 00:06:57,240 --> 00:07:00,800 Speaker 1: can afford to do that, and other going to celebrate 132 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:05,279 Speaker 1: this so exactly right, right right right yeah, And maybe 133 00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:08,800 Speaker 1: for whatever reason, you don't have family to celebrate with. Um. 134 00:07:08,839 --> 00:07:11,480 Speaker 1: For some who may live at home with their parents family, 135 00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:13,600 Speaker 1: it's a nice way to get to the house and 136 00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:16,200 Speaker 1: get some space. And I remember in high school feeling like, oh, 137 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:18,720 Speaker 1: we're having a It felt like we were adult or 138 00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:23,720 Speaker 1: something like we're hosting. Yeah. Um. I have some friends 139 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:26,480 Speaker 1: that do it in part because they can't drink at 140 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:30,360 Speaker 1: family events. And you know, it's just nice to know 141 00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:35,480 Speaker 1: that you're generally aligned culturally, politically, socially with the other attendees, 142 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:41,320 Speaker 1: which might not be the case with your family, my family, 143 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:43,760 Speaker 1: which is also why I don't want to go home, 144 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:47,080 Speaker 1: but I must and I do. I know. I am 145 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:50,120 Speaker 1: very honest and open. I love my family, I really do. 146 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:54,320 Speaker 1: And as a child I did enjoy the Thanksgiving thing. 147 00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:56,840 Speaker 1: It made me feel homey, it made me feel nice. 148 00:07:57,320 --> 00:08:00,640 Speaker 1: We had some little traditions. Um was when I started 149 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,360 Speaker 1: getting older, I was like, oh, this is getting bad. 150 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,720 Speaker 1: This is the conversation is getting bad. We are really 151 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:07,800 Speaker 1: awkward with each other because it's obviously that we're growing 152 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:10,320 Speaker 1: apart and I'm starting to have my own ideals and 153 00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:14,720 Speaker 1: it's not aligning with yours. And this is getting uglier because, uh, 154 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:18,840 Speaker 1: one of my brothers is really really good at just 155 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:23,280 Speaker 1: needling just enough, but my mom says does the he's 156 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:25,880 Speaker 1: just joking, but also gets really uncomfortable and tells him 157 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:29,440 Speaker 1: to stop. So both of those things. Recently had a 158 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:32,040 Speaker 1: couple of blow up with the families where I don't 159 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:36,079 Speaker 1: have any We've never outright had a conflict before, and 160 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:37,520 Speaker 1: then all of a sudden it's been kind of between 161 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:40,680 Speaker 1: me and my mom because I probably shared the most 162 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:42,920 Speaker 1: with her. I don't talk directly to my siblings and 163 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:45,760 Speaker 1: I'm not close to them. So yeah, this is absolutely 164 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:47,839 Speaker 1: me um. And the first time I was able to 165 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:51,480 Speaker 1: like not go home and I actually visited friends in Baltimore, 166 00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:55,320 Speaker 1: it was amazing and I wish I could do. How 167 00:08:55,360 --> 00:09:00,400 Speaker 1: do I do this every year? Right? Right? I know? 168 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:03,400 Speaker 1: For me, like growing up, we would go my mom's 169 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:05,960 Speaker 1: side of the family, like all of her siblings would 170 00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:08,600 Speaker 1: come and they would bring their children and my grandparents 171 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:11,280 Speaker 1: would be there and it was really cool and I 172 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:14,200 Speaker 1: liked it, but I much preferred it when we started 173 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:16,640 Speaker 1: doing it with like just our family, just a small 174 00:09:16,679 --> 00:09:19,280 Speaker 1: amount of people. It was much less stress, even for 175 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:20,920 Speaker 1: me as a child, Like I don't know, I was 176 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:26,000 Speaker 1: picking up on all these things, right right. Um, So, 177 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:29,080 Speaker 1: history wise, as far as we know, the word first 178 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:32,800 Speaker 1: appeared in writing in two thousand seven on places like Twitter, 179 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:36,240 Speaker 1: a mashup of friends and Thanksgiving used to describe an 180 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:40,600 Speaker 1: informal meal shared with friends in the holiday season. People 181 00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:43,000 Speaker 1: were quick to adopt the term. It really is probably 182 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,240 Speaker 1: one of the more significant words that we all know 183 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:48,440 Speaker 1: now in the US. Uh, And it started appearing in 184 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:52,120 Speaker 1: things like magazines or edited print online, popping up in 185 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:54,640 Speaker 1: a variety of lifestyle pieces in two thousand eight and 186 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:57,280 Speaker 1: two thousand nine. Yes, so they're gonna monetize like nobody's 187 00:09:57,320 --> 00:10:01,720 Speaker 1: business and this is an amazing another holiday, let's do this. Yes, 188 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:07,320 Speaker 1: and speaking of friends giving really took off because that 189 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:12,199 Speaker 1: year Bailey's Irish Cream used it in an ad campaign 190 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:14,840 Speaker 1: and it was part of an episode of the Real 191 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:18,080 Speaker 1: Housewives of New Jersey called gobble Fellows. Is this the 192 00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:20,800 Speaker 1: one where she flips the table. I have no idea. 193 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:23,920 Speaker 1: I need someone to tell me because I'm too latey 194 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:28,920 Speaker 1: to google this. I could never find out otherwise, Listeners, 195 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,600 Speaker 1: I just remember the iconic saying this is when I 196 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:35,120 Speaker 1: was kind of watching The Housewives and New Jersey. They 197 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:39,400 Speaker 1: are dar are entertaining, like I'm trying to find the 198 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:42,439 Speaker 1: best words, and I remember correctly. I wonder if this 199 00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:46,760 Speaker 1: is the infamous flip scene. That's an almost Like so many, 200 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:51,720 Speaker 1: it became one of the best gifts for a while. Well, listeners, 201 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:56,960 Speaker 1: let us know you're counting on you. In twenty thirteen, 202 00:10:57,440 --> 00:10:59,839 Speaker 1: butter Ball, as in the Turkey's Yest filed a patent 203 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:05,439 Speaker 1: were friends Giving Turkey in southern California, and Taco Bell 204 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:09,920 Speaker 1: hosted a friends giving feast with the slogan nothing is 205 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:12,400 Speaker 1: better than a friend with Taco Bell. And you can 206 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:15,160 Speaker 1: find the invites online. You can find shirts, you can 207 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:19,280 Speaker 1: find pictures that gave me some delight. So on TikTok 208 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:21,920 Speaker 1: just recently, and I will send you this video any 209 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:25,040 Speaker 1: because I've sent you everything else. Why not. A woman 210 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:28,760 Speaker 1: actually pretty much challenged Taco Bell, saying that she lived 211 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:31,840 Speaker 1: in rural I don't know, it's not North Carolina or 212 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,920 Speaker 1: somewhere maybe Georgia even and there was no Taco Bell. 213 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:37,320 Speaker 1: She's like, there's no way you can get this to me. Idea, 214 00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:39,240 Speaker 1: how are you going to do this thing? And so 215 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:43,120 Speaker 1: Taco Bell sent a whole care package to her with 216 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:47,160 Speaker 1: all of these fancy air quotes, uh like dining room 217 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:53,440 Speaker 1: stuff and including uh like side dishes, table runners, floors, 218 00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:56,440 Speaker 1: all of them with Taco Bell and broadery. They had 219 00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:59,600 Speaker 1: like uh stickers for her to give away patches. But 220 00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:02,080 Speaker 1: it was whole mill and it wasn't Taco Bell. It 221 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:07,679 Speaker 1: was Thanksgiving meal for her. That's interesting. It wasn't Taco Bell. 222 00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:11,560 Speaker 1: I think she got the sauces though, okay, which apparently 223 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:19,240 Speaker 1: there's a shortage of Oh you betta watch it out. Sorry, 224 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:21,880 Speaker 1: Taco Bell is killing this friends giving Thanksgiving thing. I'm 225 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:25,040 Speaker 1: just gonna saying I really enjoyed learning about it. It 226 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:28,960 Speaker 1: made me laugh. These are just a handful of the 227 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:31,120 Speaker 1: companies that jumped on the friends giving wagon in these 228 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:35,360 Speaker 1: early days. Over seventy Facebook events contained the word friends giving. 229 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:40,319 Speaker 1: In that same year, mentions of friends giving doubled on 230 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:44,920 Speaker 1: the payment app benmo ovin Moo. Now it's mainstream enough 231 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:48,720 Speaker 1: that a movie called Friends Giving came out in twenty twenty. 232 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:51,199 Speaker 1: I missed this one and it got around at one 233 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:55,360 Speaker 1: point two million mentions on Instagram that's awesome, And that 234 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:59,560 Speaker 1: same year Miriam Webster added it to the Dictionary of 235 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:02,640 Speaker 1: All the Super Official of course, and you can buy shirts, 236 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:06,400 Speaker 1: find how to recipes, and even rules and commandments. I 237 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:08,640 Speaker 1: have seen a lot of etiquette things about friends giving 238 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:12,280 Speaker 1: I have to, and I was like, whoa, you need 239 00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:17,680 Speaker 1: to know the rules. It's like clashes for sure, including 240 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:19,560 Speaker 1: the fact that if you bring the wrong person, if 241 00:13:19,559 --> 00:13:21,720 Speaker 1: you bring guests, you're not supposed to how much food 242 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,880 Speaker 1: you're supposed to bring, and what kind of like if 243 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:25,520 Speaker 1: you're supposed to bring drinks or not. I guess I 244 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:28,599 Speaker 1: think yeah, And then I've learned you're not supposed to 245 00:13:28,679 --> 00:13:32,400 Speaker 1: expect to use the person's kitchen like all sorts of stuff. 246 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,800 Speaker 1: Not that I ever did that, but I didn't realize 247 00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:40,240 Speaker 1: that have cold food. Wow. But yeah, I feel like 248 00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:43,560 Speaker 1: with all of these things that you can find now, 249 00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:46,480 Speaker 1: it does sort of get away from the original intent 250 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:48,760 Speaker 1: to friends giving, which again it was supposed to be 251 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:52,760 Speaker 1: much more relaxed hang out time. But more on that 252 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:55,480 Speaker 1: in a second, social scientists believe that a part of 253 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:58,400 Speaker 1: the popularity when it comes to millennials and friends giving 254 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:00,840 Speaker 1: also has to do with things like the laying marriage 255 00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:02,960 Speaker 1: or not getting married at all, not happening to children. 256 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:05,520 Speaker 1: The shifting view of what family is and can be 257 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,120 Speaker 1: friends of the new family was something that came up 258 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:11,360 Speaker 1: in a lot of the articles I read. So that 259 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:14,400 Speaker 1: makes sense. Yeah, it's that it's the new trends that 260 00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:16,840 Speaker 1: blood is not your family, you make your own family. 261 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,640 Speaker 1: And we know a lot has happened, especially when it 262 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:23,440 Speaker 1: comes to LGBTQ communities, and how this has really been 263 00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:26,560 Speaker 1: able to be replenishing for them in the friends group, 264 00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:30,280 Speaker 1: so in the family group. Malcolm Harris, author of Kids 265 00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:33,920 Speaker 1: These Days, Human Capital and the Making of Millennials, things 266 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:37,000 Speaker 1: it's more of a sign of the average lower income 267 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:41,000 Speaker 1: of millennials, saying, quote, friends giving is a propaganda weapon 268 00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:43,840 Speaker 1: used by the ruling class to further their plans for 269 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:50,720 Speaker 1: wage stagnation. Yeah, it was interesting. Art was interesting. Yeah, oh, 270 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:55,360 Speaker 1: and that was probably one of the lighter scene. But 271 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:59,320 Speaker 1: essentially like we can't afford to have Thanksgiving, our houses 272 00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:01,960 Speaker 1: are family. It's a whole thing. He wrote about it. 273 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:07,800 Speaker 1: So there's that. Well okay, yes, yeah, cheers to that. 274 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:25,680 Speaker 1: So there. I think there's a lot of reasons going 275 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:29,760 Speaker 1: on beyond the ones we've already listed behind friends Giving. 276 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:34,360 Speaker 1: We've talked before about how the emotional labor um which, 277 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,920 Speaker 1: by the way, it is a lot of emotional labor 278 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:40,960 Speaker 1: of the holidays often falls to women, especially if you 279 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:44,560 Speaker 1: are a mother or like ahead of the family in 280 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:46,640 Speaker 1: some way. It's you know, you're expected to do a 281 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:49,120 Speaker 1: lot of the planning um, and during the pandemic this 282 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:51,920 Speaker 1: has become even more laborious, dreating and exhausting. I keep 283 00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:54,640 Speaker 1: seeing all these things about all the shortages going on 284 00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:58,040 Speaker 1: and having to get your gifts way ahead and plan 285 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:01,800 Speaker 1: the food way ahead, all that stuff um, which is stressful. 286 00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:06,680 Speaker 1: So when you search friends Giving, the results aimed towards 287 00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:08,640 Speaker 1: women are interesting because a lot of it sounds to 288 00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:13,080 Speaker 1: me like essentially, come as you are, where are your pajamas? 289 00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:14,840 Speaker 1: If you want to bring what you want, whether you 290 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:18,600 Speaker 1: brought it at the store, made it a much less stressful, 291 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,920 Speaker 1: more relaxed and get together where women don't have to 292 00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:22,440 Speaker 1: put on this performance. A lot of it to me 293 00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:24,800 Speaker 1: just sounds like, yeah, you don't have to put on 294 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:30,800 Speaker 1: this performance, just come have fun, um, which is interesting 295 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:32,720 Speaker 1: because I think it's really telling that we created a 296 00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:35,160 Speaker 1: holiday that's supposed to be stress free when in theory 297 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:38,880 Speaker 1: the holidays are a time for relaxing. But who makes 298 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:43,200 Speaker 1: the magic. It's often women, I will say so. The 299 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:45,800 Speaker 1: more recent friends giving that have been a part of 300 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:49,840 Speaker 1: is the same sex couple. Um, it's it's my guy friends, 301 00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:52,480 Speaker 1: and they are amazing at it and they do so 302 00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:56,120 Speaker 1: they do a lot of work to say that. I know, 303 00:16:56,600 --> 00:17:00,760 Speaker 1: just as much as I love hosting, it's a whole venture. Yeah, 304 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:05,399 Speaker 1: I have a friend couple like that as well. And 305 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:09,719 Speaker 1: that was something else that I came across when of 306 00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:12,200 Speaker 1: his researching. This is again the whole idea that maybe 307 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:15,399 Speaker 1: you don't have UM, you're delaying marriage or not getting married, 308 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:18,080 Speaker 1: or your family doesn't accept you for whatever reason, but 309 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:21,520 Speaker 1: you still want to host things UM. And some people 310 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:24,359 Speaker 1: do enjoy that aspect of it, and like you know 311 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:27,320 Speaker 1: that feeling of I have enough space, like I've made 312 00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:30,080 Speaker 1: it and I can host something for some people that's 313 00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:34,480 Speaker 1: really really rewarding. I do like it on occasion, right, 314 00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:39,600 Speaker 1: but in general stressful. It's the whole thing. I know, 315 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:42,639 Speaker 1: Like the beginning getting everything together, trying to put it 316 00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,560 Speaker 1: together and making sure you have enough food, making sure 317 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,520 Speaker 1: I've got the right food, whether it's okay. This one 318 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:48,080 Speaker 1: doesn't drink, so I need to make sure this is 319 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:51,520 Speaker 1: available for them. This one is lactose intolerant, this is vegetarian, 320 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:53,560 Speaker 1: so we need to have these availabilities and don't let 321 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:55,680 Speaker 1: these things touch, like these are things that go through 322 00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:58,400 Speaker 1: my head. And then once I've seen that everyone has 323 00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:00,800 Speaker 1: enjoyed it, and what I mean enjoy boy, I mean 324 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:03,640 Speaker 1: they're eating all the foods or loving what's going on, 325 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:07,000 Speaker 1: or having a really good conversation and or just relaxed. 326 00:18:07,359 --> 00:18:10,800 Speaker 1: Then after that that's when my satisfaction happens and like, 327 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,040 Speaker 1: oh my god, I did it slash, I'm so glad 328 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:16,080 Speaker 1: that came. I love my friends. Those types of moments, 329 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:20,840 Speaker 1: But the initial is the biggest headache in anxiety, inducing 330 00:18:21,359 --> 00:18:25,159 Speaker 1: a moment of like scrounging and scraping about everywhere and 331 00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:27,440 Speaker 1: rushing around like I'm chicken with the head cut off 332 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:33,199 Speaker 1: and trying to get it together. Yeah yeah, yeah, and 333 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:35,359 Speaker 1: then having that the fear the whole time of like 334 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:39,040 Speaker 1: if something's gone wrong or what if people don't have 335 00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:42,040 Speaker 1: a good time. Am I doing enough entertaining? Right? Me 336 00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:44,159 Speaker 1: having to flop around and make sure you've got plates? 337 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:47,160 Speaker 1: And of course I'm mommy extra hard and I say 338 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:51,480 Speaker 1: that in that I'm very Southern caretaker levels social work 339 00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:54,200 Speaker 1: person here that so I need to know not only 340 00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:57,160 Speaker 1: have you eaten, you've gotten your drinks? You are you low? 341 00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,600 Speaker 1: I'm coming? What else do you want? Like that is 342 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:03,600 Speaker 1: it's I never tried, I never stopped. Mm hmm, Yes, 343 00:19:04,119 --> 00:19:09,080 Speaker 1: this is true. I can attest and I learned that 344 00:19:09,119 --> 00:19:12,000 Speaker 1: from my mother to be fair, which again puts that 345 00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:15,679 Speaker 1: whole heavy burden. Yep. I think a lot of that, 346 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,919 Speaker 1: especially as we've discussed a lot of times, women are 347 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:21,480 Speaker 1: more socialized to be like the event planners and the 348 00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:25,760 Speaker 1: social people would making sure everything's okay. And that's one 349 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:30,960 Speaker 1: of the things when I started, I won't call it 350 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:34,080 Speaker 1: a feminist awakening, but I started having like these questions. 351 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:38,120 Speaker 1: And I would get so mad Thanksgiving because it would 352 00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:40,040 Speaker 1: be me my mom and we would just cook all 353 00:19:40,119 --> 00:19:43,280 Speaker 1: day in the kitchen and then people would come down 354 00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:45,080 Speaker 1: any and then they would go back up, and then 355 00:19:45,119 --> 00:19:48,320 Speaker 1: we would clean everything up, and I was like, this 356 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:52,200 Speaker 1: is the boy, right, And then they would get frustrated 357 00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:54,920 Speaker 1: if if they would get hungry and it wasn't done yet, 358 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:59,080 Speaker 1: like you're welcome to come down and help if they 359 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:04,120 Speaker 1: come down. In hell, I have a lot of people 360 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:06,080 Speaker 1: in my family who are not good at making conversation 361 00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:10,200 Speaker 1: and also are not good at like they it's almost 362 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:11,720 Speaker 1: like they shut down when you tell them how to 363 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:12,959 Speaker 1: do something and they don't know how to do it, 364 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:18,280 Speaker 1: and then it's like now I've gotta see you. Um 365 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:20,000 Speaker 1: so it becomes a thing where like now it's gone 366 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,679 Speaker 1: from at least me and my mom. I say, this 367 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:24,119 Speaker 1: is someone who loves my family as well, but at 368 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:25,520 Speaker 1: least it me and my mom, Like we have easy 369 00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:28,119 Speaker 1: conversation that kind of know what to do. It's not 370 00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:31,760 Speaker 1: a stress. But if they come down and I gotta 371 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:34,320 Speaker 1: gotta have this conversation, I don't know that's all the 372 00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:39,000 Speaker 1: attention is on, you h But I think one of 373 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,199 Speaker 1: the big things that I remember from my parents, my 374 00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:44,359 Speaker 1: mother specifically, is as much as she needed help, but 375 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:46,800 Speaker 1: because she got would get frustrated if it wasn't done 376 00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:48,160 Speaker 1: in such a way. And I'm not trying to gas 377 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,399 Speaker 1: light this is not the pretending like you don't know 378 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:53,080 Speaker 1: what to do and you mess up on purpose that incompetence. 379 00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:56,679 Speaker 1: Incompetence dance at that level, it's not even that. But 380 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,920 Speaker 1: she really has this ideal of exactly what she wants, 381 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:03,520 Speaker 1: and she gets flustered and can't communicate that well. And 382 00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:05,280 Speaker 1: so in her mind, and she will tell you this, 383 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:08,080 Speaker 1: she would rather just go ahead and do it then 384 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:09,760 Speaker 1: have to tell you, because this is going to be 385 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:13,040 Speaker 1: such a frustrating conversation. By the time she finished telling 386 00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,720 Speaker 1: me or you or someone else, she could have already 387 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:19,400 Speaker 1: done it in hern That is her rationale. So having 388 00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:22,040 Speaker 1: people around her, and she's she's kicked me out with 389 00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:25,760 Speaker 1: the kitchen many times because just underfoot, I just need 390 00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:29,360 Speaker 1: to get this done literally being told that. The only 391 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:32,520 Speaker 1: person at some point in time she finally trusted was 392 00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:37,280 Speaker 1: my sister, who was almost as anal as her, so 393 00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:40,560 Speaker 1: it was like right on par with each other. So 394 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:43,240 Speaker 1: she was able to trust that. As she's gotten like 395 00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:47,080 Speaker 1: a much older and our family has grown much more extensively, 396 00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:49,320 Speaker 1: she has kind of cared less and step back, which 397 00:21:49,359 --> 00:21:52,119 Speaker 1: also is why we'll have Thanksgiving dinner and it's sandwiches. 398 00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:54,959 Speaker 1: And I understand why, but that was one of the 399 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:58,600 Speaker 1: biggest disappointments I think I've ever gone through because I 400 00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:01,639 Speaker 1: don't typically, you know, Christmas, I'm not always home and 401 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:03,720 Speaker 1: my mother is a good cook, and they're all great, 402 00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:05,320 Speaker 1: and yes, i know it takes a lot of effort, 403 00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:11,520 Speaker 1: but I'm like, oh, this is my Thanksgiving holiday, mill Okay, 404 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:15,920 Speaker 1: But again I understand why, and I get like, yeah, 405 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,280 Speaker 1: I'm over it. She's over it. She's done. She's done. 406 00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:23,160 Speaker 1: She's done this for fifty something years now, and it's 407 00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:25,520 Speaker 1: just like, and I've had to be doing this for 408 00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:32,159 Speaker 1: so long. Done, You're right, right, it makes sense. We 409 00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,800 Speaker 1: definitely there are definitely things that we've slowly kind of 410 00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:36,960 Speaker 1: let go for the years, and we're not going to 411 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:38,359 Speaker 1: do that anymore. And we're not going to get out 412 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:45,760 Speaker 1: the nice whatever. Yeah, unless my mom feels fancy m hmm, 413 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:50,960 Speaker 1: then I do paper plates right right, Yeah, aren't so much. 414 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:53,480 Speaker 1: It is a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot 415 00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:56,600 Speaker 1: um And actually, that was another thing I wanted to 416 00:22:56,600 --> 00:23:00,240 Speaker 1: bring up, is the reason Thanksgiving is on a Thursday 417 00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:04,240 Speaker 1: in the first place is so that the wife would 418 00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:06,520 Speaker 1: have time to make this big feast for her family 419 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:08,639 Speaker 1: and the traditional Sunday meal that used to be like 420 00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:10,960 Speaker 1: every Sunday, you would do this, so that is why 421 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:15,840 Speaker 1: it's on Thursday. Oh my goodness, Oh my goodness, I 422 00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:18,359 Speaker 1: did not know that. I'm very upset about the situation. 423 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,760 Speaker 1: And I guess it makes sense because we know that 424 00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:23,040 Speaker 1: Thanksgiving and I know there's been an episode, so if 425 00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:25,600 Speaker 1: y'all want to go listen to it, please go about 426 00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:30,240 Speaker 1: Surgencifa Hale, who is the godmother or the mother of Thanksgiving, 427 00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:34,440 Speaker 1: which happened during the Lincoln administration, so way back when 428 00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:38,239 Speaker 1: um as a way of unifying the country. We know 429 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:40,960 Speaker 1: that that was the whole intent, and during that time, 430 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:44,119 Speaker 1: of course, the women of the household would make a 431 00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:47,600 Speaker 1: giant face and or have their people, if there were 432 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:51,680 Speaker 1: enslaved people, make an entire feast for whomever. Not knowing 433 00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:54,440 Speaker 1: much about I'm assuming it's also a rich person holiday 434 00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:57,440 Speaker 1: at that point in time, about who can afford food 435 00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:00,560 Speaker 1: and when, because we know through a whole thing. But 436 00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:04,560 Speaker 1: the first Thanksgivings were originated back to sixt hundreds, and 437 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:06,320 Speaker 1: they weren't as cute as you think they were, and 438 00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:08,560 Speaker 1: a lot of mascarts happened. As in fact, we know 439 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:13,280 Speaker 1: some tribes and some communities will actually do this thanksgiving 440 00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:16,680 Speaker 1: us a day of mourning as it should. So it's 441 00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:19,960 Speaker 1: not pretty in any way whatsoever, and we have completely 442 00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:23,480 Speaker 1: taken it to a whole different realm. Yes, I do 443 00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:27,600 Speaker 1: go down dark paths apologies, but in knowing all of that, 444 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:29,240 Speaker 1: it's kind of like, oh, yeah, of course, what would 445 00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:32,280 Speaker 1: would put more labor on women and not giving them 446 00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:34,080 Speaker 1: a day of like, hey, this is the day of us. 447 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:36,960 Speaker 1: It's more of No, this is double your work, good luck. 448 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:39,919 Speaker 1: And also this is the way to say about community 449 00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:42,840 Speaker 1: because we are ripped the shreds because you know, the 450 00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:46,640 Speaker 1: enslaved people. We actually want to have freedom and rights 451 00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:50,720 Speaker 1: and abolish all of this nastiness, but we need to 452 00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:56,960 Speaker 1: keep the family together because you know Jesus. Maybe, um, yeah, 453 00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,960 Speaker 1: I didn't. I wasn't aware of that when we did 454 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,679 Speaker 1: that episode on Sarah justse fora hil um, which it 455 00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:05,119 Speaker 1: really is an interesting story. I wasn't aware of this, 456 00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:07,760 Speaker 1: Like traditional Sunday meal, there could be another reason it's 457 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:09,400 Speaker 1: on Thursday, but I know that it is at least 458 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:11,000 Speaker 1: one of the reasons. She was like, we'll do it 459 00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:15,000 Speaker 1: on Thursday. I don't give the women time to prepare 460 00:25:15,119 --> 00:25:18,160 Speaker 1: for the traditional Sunday meal. Won't mess with that. So 461 00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:23,160 Speaker 1: I mean, that's that's pretty telling right there, right. Yeah, 462 00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:26,760 Speaker 1: And I also think that friends giving just makes sense, um. 463 00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:29,320 Speaker 1: And I know, I think I was celebrating it before 464 00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:32,359 Speaker 1: it was a thing, Like we didn't call it that, 465 00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:35,239 Speaker 1: but it's just we were doing that, right. It just 466 00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:36,679 Speaker 1: makes sense to me, Like you want to hang out 467 00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:38,280 Speaker 1: with friends during the holidays, it might be the only 468 00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:40,840 Speaker 1: time you have off, um a bunch of your friends 469 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:44,119 Speaker 1: and in certain groups. Yeah, and so to me it 470 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:47,119 Speaker 1: makes sense in that way. And also just want to 471 00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:49,960 Speaker 1: put in here the term friends giving is often attributed 472 00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:52,480 Speaker 1: to the show Friends. Um, that is not where it 473 00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:55,520 Speaker 1: came from. But they did celebrate what we would now 474 00:25:55,600 --> 00:26:00,520 Speaker 1: call friends giving on the show just right. I think 475 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:03,640 Speaker 1: I remember that. Is that the Turkey episode? I mean 476 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:05,879 Speaker 1: they did it several in several episodes, but yes, it 477 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:10,000 Speaker 1: is that one. Yeah, Uh, I do remember, because I 478 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:11,320 Speaker 1: thought that was nasty and I was like, why would 479 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:13,720 Speaker 1: you do this to yourself? I think we also did 480 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:15,679 Speaker 1: that before friends giving became a thing, and it was 481 00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:18,760 Speaker 1: a way of exchanging presence in between because of course 482 00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:21,080 Speaker 1: you couldn't do it during family times that I would 483 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:23,760 Speaker 1: want to get gifts to my friends. Uh. And of 484 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:25,359 Speaker 1: course in high school you hung out with your friends 485 00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:27,439 Speaker 1: all the time, so you need to make that happen 486 00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:30,520 Speaker 1: in order to the gift exchange all of that. I 487 00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:34,320 Speaker 1: think later on it became a whole different level um 488 00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:36,080 Speaker 1: of sharing food. At one point in time, was just 489 00:26:36,119 --> 00:26:38,679 Speaker 1: going to restaurants and hanging out. And honestly, like I 490 00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:40,280 Speaker 1: was thinking about it for this year, I'm like, I 491 00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:43,399 Speaker 1: think I might just rent a back room invite ten people. 492 00:26:44,119 --> 00:26:46,240 Speaker 1: And that's the entirety of friends giving is. I don't 493 00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:47,840 Speaker 1: want to host it at my house. I don't want 494 00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:50,240 Speaker 1: to make anybody clean, I don't want anybody have to cook. 495 00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:53,560 Speaker 1: We're just gonna sit in child and hanging period and 496 00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:55,240 Speaker 1: I feel like that would be and we could also 497 00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:58,360 Speaker 1: support someone who was having to work during the holidays 498 00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:16,919 Speaker 1: and get the money. That sounds nice. Sounds nice. So 499 00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,439 Speaker 1: to close out, I did want to talk about, you know, 500 00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:23,200 Speaker 1: some some memories and traditions, um, because I remember when 501 00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:26,199 Speaker 1: the pandemic was in full spring last year and we 502 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:29,440 Speaker 1: were trying to think of ways to celebrate the holidays 503 00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:32,320 Speaker 1: in a time where it's so kind of different and 504 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:36,840 Speaker 1: risky and ways to do so. So in that way, 505 00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:39,720 Speaker 1: we'll talk about some of the stuff that we have, 506 00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:41,399 Speaker 1: some of our memories and some things you might be 507 00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:43,600 Speaker 1: interested in. And what I will say is I have 508 00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:47,840 Speaker 1: been doing cheese giving for about five or six years, 509 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:52,080 Speaker 1: and that I have to say has been a hit. 510 00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:55,600 Speaker 1: A lot of people have written in about cheese giving. Uh, 511 00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:58,360 Speaker 1: some people have started celebrating it on their own, and 512 00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:01,639 Speaker 1: I applaud this, but I'm very happy you. But essentially, 513 00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:05,920 Speaker 1: cheese giving is a particular group of friends of mine 514 00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:11,200 Speaker 1: who all love cheese, and this is our specific friends 515 00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:14,800 Speaker 1: giving and we all we get together, we make a 516 00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:18,520 Speaker 1: cheese board. It's become like maybe I'll post some pictures. 517 00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:20,959 Speaker 1: It has become a much bigger thing than it used 518 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:22,440 Speaker 1: to be, where we'd all bring, like, you know, maybe 519 00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:25,320 Speaker 1: they'd be five cheeses. Now it's a spread. Now it's 520 00:28:25,359 --> 00:28:28,560 Speaker 1: a whole thing. Um, and we've gotten really good at 521 00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:32,639 Speaker 1: making a nice cheese plate. And there's wine and usually 522 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:36,600 Speaker 1: horror movies because of course. But uh, some of the 523 00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:40,040 Speaker 1: cheeses I like on my cheeseboard are I like a Brie, 524 00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:44,640 Speaker 1: I like a Kuda, a groy air, a sharp cheddar, 525 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:52,080 Speaker 1: and a goat cheese. Then I like cucumbers and sir racha. Yes, yes, 526 00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:56,600 Speaker 1: but my friends, so I bring that and some wine. 527 00:28:57,040 --> 00:28:59,600 Speaker 1: My friends will bring like what I would call fancy 528 00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:03,440 Speaker 1: or cheese. Is so they really like espresso, cheese wine. Jesus, 529 00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:10,080 Speaker 1: is that sarace love love love, yes, yes, and it's 530 00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:13,920 Speaker 1: a lovely, lovely time. Um. And then I have another 531 00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:17,560 Speaker 1: friend group where unfortunately I've only made it to this 532 00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:20,080 Speaker 1: friend's giving once, but they do a friends giving wreath 533 00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:25,440 Speaker 1: where you right what you what you wish or want 534 00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:31,280 Speaker 1: in the coming year. And two of my best friends, um, 535 00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:34,320 Speaker 1: one of them wrote, you know, I'm going to marry 536 00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:43,640 Speaker 1: this person on the wreath and they got married. Yeah, yeah, 537 00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:47,880 Speaker 1: I do. I appreciate little things like that, traditions that 538 00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:52,240 Speaker 1: we make with our friends, right yeah. And then I 539 00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:57,000 Speaker 1: wanted to mention this because somebody, a listener wrote in 540 00:29:57,040 --> 00:29:59,040 Speaker 1: about this and I'm so sorry, I can't remember your name, 541 00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:00,480 Speaker 1: and I think this was a wild back so I 542 00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:03,479 Speaker 1: couldn't find it. Um. But what they do, or at 543 00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:07,800 Speaker 1: least one time they did a time where everyone brought 544 00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:12,080 Speaker 1: in like their favorite foods, our foods from their family 545 00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:15,640 Speaker 1: or like their history, and in that way you would 546 00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:19,160 Speaker 1: just get this very interesting like spread of foods from 547 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:22,120 Speaker 1: all over and maybe things you've never tried before, and 548 00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:25,320 Speaker 1: it sounded like such a lovely thing. And she said 549 00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:28,480 Speaker 1: the idea was from the movie Signs, where I don't know, 550 00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:31,760 Speaker 1: at the end of the movie, I guess they think 551 00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:33,240 Speaker 1: they're going to die. Maybe they sort of have a 552 00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:35,200 Speaker 1: last meal. They like, what do you want? What's the 553 00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:39,720 Speaker 1: thing you want? But I like that idea. I like 554 00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:43,920 Speaker 1: the idea of just like, let's make it really whatever 555 00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:48,080 Speaker 1: it is, doesn't have to coordinate at all. The luck Yeah, yeah, 556 00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:53,920 Speaker 1: my friends are more on the Google uh so that 557 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:57,320 Speaker 1: we have to make sure and I'm using like cookies, wine, 558 00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:00,880 Speaker 1: You're welcome. I didn't make a baked mac and cheese 559 00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:03,080 Speaker 1: one time. It was pretty good, yea for our friends 560 00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:05,680 Speaker 1: stuff we don't have. I've been trying to get in 561 00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:08,480 Speaker 1: on this cheese giving. I've still not been invited. Anyway. 562 00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:11,320 Speaker 1: My other friends, we've we've done a lot of different things, 563 00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:13,600 Speaker 1: and typically, like I said, we do a Google doc spreadsheet. 564 00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:16,400 Speaker 1: But one thing that has changed as of late. My 565 00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:20,040 Speaker 1: friends are ridiculously funny and smart and tech savvy. I 566 00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:22,000 Speaker 1: am not. They make fun of me all the time 567 00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:24,680 Speaker 1: because I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna send this gift and 568 00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:26,400 Speaker 1: it turns out to be a video and they can't play, 569 00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:28,880 Speaker 1: and they're like why. I'm like, don't start with me. 570 00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:31,760 Speaker 1: And I was like, they would just do a whole 571 00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:35,640 Speaker 1: rolling gift back and forth and I couldn't participate. So 572 00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:38,560 Speaker 1: I'll just send a link essentially, and they would find 573 00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:41,880 Speaker 1: that hilarious. But because they are the East Geniuses, my 574 00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:43,440 Speaker 1: good friends are the same sex. A couple I was 575 00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:46,440 Speaker 1: telling about who who pretty much just like Hosts Extraordinaire. 576 00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:49,160 Speaker 1: One of them have gotten to the like meme stuff, 577 00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:51,680 Speaker 1: so they will do bring your favorite means and do 578 00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:54,080 Speaker 1: crafts to make a mean tree, and they've done it 579 00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:56,280 Speaker 1: for two years straight. Last year, of course, I think 580 00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:59,640 Speaker 1: they just sent pictures, but that was kind of the 581 00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:03,320 Speaker 1: idea behind what they were doing, So bring your favorite 582 00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:05,760 Speaker 1: memes and I was like, I don't know, I'm not 583 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:09,000 Speaker 1: I'm not, I'm not um and I just popped up 584 00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:11,480 Speaker 1: and showed up. But that's one of the traditions that 585 00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:14,360 Speaker 1: they do. And I was like, Oh, that makes that's cute. 586 00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:18,360 Speaker 1: I like that. So they helped decorate the tree beforehand 587 00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:21,160 Speaker 1: and that's there the tree, and I'm like yeah, and 588 00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:23,400 Speaker 1: then of course we did the white Elephant. Do silly 589 00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:27,040 Speaker 1: gifts anything in this part, so like typically people do 590 00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:29,120 Speaker 1: really good silly gifts every now and then you get 591 00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:31,360 Speaker 1: the really big things. They're like, why did you okay 592 00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:34,160 Speaker 1: take it, like gift cards out of know where. I'm like, yeah, okay, 593 00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:36,960 Speaker 1: I have taken like but the nerf guns as a 594 00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:39,200 Speaker 1: president and all that. So, but that that's the kind 595 00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:42,240 Speaker 1: of traditions that they typically do, and we typically do 596 00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:45,040 Speaker 1: on that note, and then just sit and then whoever 597 00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:47,920 Speaker 1: falls asleep first, and it's like they get stuff stacked 598 00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:56,000 Speaker 1: onto them. Yeah, yeah, well funny, funnily enough, I usually 599 00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:59,840 Speaker 1: fall asleep first that she's giving because it's as little 600 00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:02,719 Speaker 1: as I sleep. I have a window and I if 601 00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:05,240 Speaker 1: I'm tired and I can fall asleep in that window, 602 00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:08,840 Speaker 1: especially if there's wine and cheese involved, I will fall asleep. 603 00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:12,440 Speaker 1: So I probably have like four or five pictures of 604 00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:15,200 Speaker 1: that someone has taken while I must sleep at cheese 605 00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:18,880 Speaker 1: giving every time typically and and surprisingly it's not me. 606 00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:22,840 Speaker 1: Now the last two years I've gotten really bad about 607 00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:25,240 Speaker 1: falling asleep because of drinks, and I'm like I'm done, 608 00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:27,720 Speaker 1: I'm over it. But usually will sneak away so you 609 00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:33,200 Speaker 1: can't find me. I don't intend to. It just happens suddenly. 610 00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:38,360 Speaker 1: But yeah, I like that, like the meme tree crafts. 611 00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:41,720 Speaker 1: That's a fun that's a fun idea. So I know 612 00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:45,080 Speaker 1: we were going to give recipes and then for the 613 00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:46,720 Speaker 1: whole Life of Me, I forgot which one I was 614 00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:50,920 Speaker 1: gonna give. But one thing that I believe I've talked 615 00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:53,360 Speaker 1: about before on this show. Over on the other show 616 00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:54,880 Speaker 1: I do Savor, which is all about food and drink. 617 00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:58,120 Speaker 1: We did an episode once on ambrosia, which was one 618 00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:01,600 Speaker 1: of my favorite episodes we've ever ever done because it 619 00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:07,880 Speaker 1: could literally be almost anything. It's it escapes definition recipe. 620 00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:10,759 Speaker 1: I feel like you shared one last year. Yes, so 621 00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:14,319 Speaker 1: that is one that it's super easy and if if 622 00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:16,040 Speaker 1: you're looking for, because I think I also show I 623 00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:21,000 Speaker 1: shared the sweet potato castrole one and chocolate pie, which 624 00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:25,239 Speaker 1: are heavier, heavier things. But my version of ambrosia is 625 00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:29,680 Speaker 1: pretty much like juice, whichever like if you like orange 626 00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:31,960 Speaker 1: juice or orange pineapple juice, I would just stick with 627 00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:35,800 Speaker 1: orange pineapple pineapple and it could be fresh or you 628 00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:42,359 Speaker 1: could get it already cut. And then oranges and coconut, 629 00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:46,600 Speaker 1: which you can also take the risk on a fresh coconut. 630 00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:49,680 Speaker 1: You can get the shredded coconut um and pecans and 631 00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:54,799 Speaker 1: that's just put them in a container and it's fruit soup. Yeah. 632 00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:56,719 Speaker 1: So like I'm like, is that jello? People would do 633 00:34:56,760 --> 00:34:59,160 Speaker 1: it with jello? To most people do it with jello 634 00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:02,040 Speaker 1: or Marshalls. I've never heard of this. It's not what 635 00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:06,000 Speaker 1: my ambrosia is. Yeah, I've seen the cloudy looking ones 636 00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:07,480 Speaker 1: and I'm like, what is what is happening? So I 637 00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:10,080 Speaker 1: don't trust ambrosia. I'm not gonna lie. I don't know 638 00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:11,799 Speaker 1: what you put into it. Now, I know what you 639 00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:14,839 Speaker 1: put into now, I know what you put into it. 640 00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:23,480 Speaker 1: But I'm like, is this just the fruit cups frozen? Well? 641 00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:27,880 Speaker 1: Usually it's it's much nicer, it's fresher, and I like 642 00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:31,640 Speaker 1: the touch of the pecans. It's It's surprisingly popular among 643 00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:33,560 Speaker 1: my friend group because it is kind of a strange, 644 00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:39,680 Speaker 1: strangest thing that I make very Southern. Yes, But again, 645 00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:42,080 Speaker 1: when I was looking at when I was researching for 646 00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:44,640 Speaker 1: that episode on Ambrosia, I was like, people, do what 647 00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:48,440 Speaker 1: you know? One of my new traditions with my sister, 648 00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:51,840 Speaker 1: My sister has come upon a really great, and you 649 00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:54,520 Speaker 1: just tried this, you and your friend actually really great 650 00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:57,440 Speaker 1: chicken and dumpling recipe, and that's become kind of a 651 00:35:57,480 --> 00:35:59,799 Speaker 1: staple where she would bring it because my son I 652 00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:02,040 Speaker 1: of chicken and dumplings, and so I've been requesting it 653 00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:04,600 Speaker 1: for a while. And her daughter, her oldest daughter, really 654 00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:06,960 Speaker 1: loves chicken and dumplings. So it became a fan favorite 655 00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:08,920 Speaker 1: and she would bring it every year. And I'm hoping 656 00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:11,600 Speaker 1: that happens again, because no matter what, at least we 657 00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:14,719 Speaker 1: have chicken and dumplings. Whether I'm eating sandwiches and chicken 658 00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:19,480 Speaker 1: dumblings or one time lasagna and chicken and dumblings, we 659 00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:21,880 Speaker 1: have weird meals in my house. I'm just kidding. My 660 00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:24,160 Speaker 1: mother's trying. This is her way of trying to be adventurous, 661 00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:27,479 Speaker 1: and I think it's been adorable. Actually, So my new, 662 00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:30,719 Speaker 1: our new little tradition is having more chicken and dumplings. 663 00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:34,040 Speaker 1: And you had it super easy. Which I had a 664 00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:38,600 Speaker 1: whole conversation with Holly from Stuff You miss in History 665 00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:43,360 Speaker 1: Class and Criminalia about her ideal of chicken and dumplings, 666 00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:46,160 Speaker 1: and it was super interesting about the differences. And I 667 00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:49,359 Speaker 1: do wonder what other people's recipes are because I go 668 00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:53,640 Speaker 1: into the soupy with thick dumplings that stick to the 669 00:36:53,719 --> 00:36:56,840 Speaker 1: roof of your mouth type of dumplings with chunks of 670 00:36:57,120 --> 00:37:01,320 Speaker 1: white chicken breast, no veggies where those veggies coming from? 671 00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:03,760 Speaker 1: That's the meal. But I think for chicken and dumplings, 672 00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:06,640 Speaker 1: and honestly, it's probably top five meal for me. So 673 00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:09,080 Speaker 1: I do wonder because it is to me. Now it's 674 00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:11,480 Speaker 1: become a Thanksgiving tradition. I do wonder. I have another 675 00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:14,120 Speaker 1: question for you all, what are everybody's thoughts on ticka 676 00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:16,280 Speaker 1: and dumplings? Because I talked with you for a second 677 00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:18,959 Speaker 1: and with Lauren about maybe I should come on and 678 00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:21,080 Speaker 1: talk about much again a polades because I would think, 679 00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:22,839 Speaker 1: and it's not mine, it's my sister, so I can't 680 00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:26,640 Speaker 1: claim it, but I do make it. But yeah, that's 681 00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:29,640 Speaker 1: one of our traditions. And I it's also a very 682 00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:32,839 Speaker 1: Southern because I figured out my partner, even though he's 683 00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:35,160 Speaker 1: from the South, never had it until I made it. 684 00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:37,520 Speaker 1: I'm like, well you did in Georgia as a teenager 685 00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:42,400 Speaker 1: and as a youth. I don't understand, right. I do 686 00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:45,640 Speaker 1: love those conversations where everybody has a different understanding of 687 00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:48,440 Speaker 1: what the same thing is right, and that was actually 688 00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:53,040 Speaker 1: um one of the friends giving episodes on Friends they Had, 689 00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:55,279 Speaker 1: Monica was trying to make everybody's favorite thing and it 690 00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:58,360 Speaker 1: was like four different types of potatoes, fashed potatoes, and 691 00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:00,759 Speaker 1: just how people thought it should taste and what it 692 00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:06,239 Speaker 1: should be. Yeah. Yeah, So listeners, let us know your 693 00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:09,000 Speaker 1: thoughts on chicken in deathlings. If you have any recipes 694 00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:11,319 Speaker 1: you want to try, please send them our way. If 695 00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:13,680 Speaker 1: you have any traditions you want to share UM. If 696 00:38:13,680 --> 00:38:18,640 Speaker 1: you're celebrating friends giving any of the upcoming holidays, we 697 00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:22,040 Speaker 1: hope that you have a safe and lovely time. We 698 00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:25,240 Speaker 1: always love hearing from you. You can emails the stuff 699 00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:26,799 Speaker 1: you Nedia moul Stuff at i heart media dot com. 700 00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:28,800 Speaker 1: You can find us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast 701 00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:30,879 Speaker 1: or on Instagram. That Stuff I've Never told you. Thanks, 702 00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:34,400 Speaker 1: It's always you are super producer, Christina. Thank you, Christina, 703 00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:36,640 Speaker 1: and thanks to you for listening Stuff I've Never told 704 00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:38,520 Speaker 1: youse prodiction of I Heart Radio for more podcast on 705 00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:40,399 Speaker 1: my heart Radio, is it the iHeart Radio app, Apple 706 00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:42,480 Speaker 1: podcast or wherever you listen to your favorite shows