WEBVTT - Why Won't God Heal Them? 0:00:11.080 --> 0:00:13.400 Hey everybody, welcome back to the podcast. If you have 0:00:13.480 --> 0:00:16.680 a question for me, email podcast at grangersmith dot com. 0:00:16.680 --> 0:00:20.200 That's what we do here. I answer your questions. Could 0:00:20.200 --> 0:00:22.279 be about anything. We've done this for a few years 0:00:22.280 --> 0:00:24.320 now and they have the questions have been all over 0:00:24.320 --> 0:00:26.160 the map. I'm gonna get right to it. The first 0:00:26.200 --> 0:00:28.720 question comes from Rachel once again, if you want to 0:00:28.760 --> 0:00:31.479 email me podcast at grangersmith dot com. And this one 0:00:31.760 --> 0:00:33.800 I'm gonna lead off with I have not done much. 0:00:34.360 --> 0:00:36.239 I haven't seen these at all, so we're going in 0:00:36.280 --> 0:00:40.680 blind and I think I like it better this way. 0:00:40.920 --> 0:00:44.120 I don't know what I'm getting into. Rachel says, Hey Granger, 0:00:44.159 --> 0:00:46.920 my name is Rachel from Alabama. First, I wanted to 0:00:47.440 --> 0:00:49.640 encourage you and thank you for sharing the wisdom that 0:00:49.680 --> 0:00:51.760 God has given you. I grew up in church and 0:00:51.800 --> 0:00:55.320 in Christian school, yet your podcast still teaches me a lot. 0:00:56.280 --> 0:00:58.120 I often use what I've learned from you to answer 0:00:58.120 --> 0:01:01.720 tough questions from children, for from my children. 0:01:01.400 --> 0:01:01.800 Et cetera. 0:01:03.160 --> 0:01:06.039 My question is this, My three year old daughter has 0:01:06.080 --> 0:01:09.959 a severe speech and language delay that affects both her 0:01:10.040 --> 0:01:13.560 understanding of spoken words and her speech. My father in law, 0:01:13.840 --> 0:01:18.080 like many people in charismatic Christianity circles. He believes that 0:01:18.160 --> 0:01:19.880 with enough faith, she. 0:01:19.840 --> 0:01:20.520 Will be healed. 0:01:21.360 --> 0:01:25.360 He recently told me she will be healed of her 0:01:25.440 --> 0:01:29.480 language disorder. I am believing in her full healing, and 0:01:29.520 --> 0:01:33.480 I am praying full healing over her. Whether it's today, tomorrow, 0:01:33.560 --> 0:01:38.039 or two years from now, God will heal her. I 0:01:38.080 --> 0:01:41.480 told him that I pray for her healing too. But 0:01:41.560 --> 0:01:44.679 my faith means that I trust in God's sovereignty in 0:01:44.720 --> 0:01:47.880 her life, regardless of whether her healing is here on 0:01:47.920 --> 0:01:51.800 earth or in heaven. Whether or not she ever communicates normally, 0:01:52.240 --> 0:01:55.240 will be part of God's perfect plan. Is there anything 0:01:55.240 --> 0:01:57.280 else you could add to my response to help me 0:01:57.360 --> 0:01:58.240 better understand? 0:01:58.680 --> 0:01:59.200 Next time? 0:02:00.360 --> 0:02:03.200 Hey, Rachel, great question, and I think your head is 0:02:03.200 --> 0:02:06.360 is right where mine is on this. And this is 0:02:06.400 --> 0:02:09.960 the tough issue that you have to really you have 0:02:10.000 --> 0:02:14.720 to tread lightly, is it Grandpa? Did you say Grandpa 0:02:20.200 --> 0:02:22.840 my father in law? Okay, you have to tread lightly 0:02:22.880 --> 0:02:27.120 with father in law. 0:02:27.160 --> 0:02:29.680 And you really have to. 0:02:29.800 --> 0:02:34.840 You have to act with patience and understanding and love, 0:02:36.560 --> 0:02:39.200 and most importantly you need to go to him with 0:02:39.280 --> 0:02:44.400 Bible and stand firm in what you believe because it 0:02:45.080 --> 0:02:51.160 could get messy. Now, this kind of this kind of thinking, 0:02:51.240 --> 0:02:55.720 this specific kind of charismatic movement is only one hundred 0:02:55.800 --> 0:03:03.000 and twenty ish years old, one hundred and fifteen years old, 0:03:03.240 --> 0:03:09.040 and there is See now I'm treading lightly because there's 0:03:09.040 --> 0:03:10.640 a lot of charismatics that listen to the show. 0:03:11.960 --> 0:03:12.320 We needed. 0:03:12.440 --> 0:03:14.080 First of all, we need to say God a sovereign 0:03:14.600 --> 0:03:17.360 and God heals who he heals. There's no there's no 0:03:17.440 --> 0:03:22.200 holding back healing. God can and will and does heal 0:03:22.480 --> 0:03:27.200 completely fully right. We understand that he does as he pleases. 0:03:27.520 --> 0:03:32.240 The Psalms say he is sovereign over all life. He 0:03:32.240 --> 0:03:35.720 knows every hair on your head, He knows all of 0:03:35.760 --> 0:03:37.880 our days are numbered. He knows everything. 0:03:38.480 --> 0:03:38.840 I like. 0:03:39.120 --> 0:03:42.520 I always my brain always likes to go here. So interesting. 0:03:42.680 --> 0:03:48.720 Second King's thirteen fourteen, and this is the story of Elishah. 0:03:49.320 --> 0:03:55.400 He came after Elijah the prophet, and elisha is in 0:03:55.440 --> 0:03:58.760 fact even more powerful than Elijah was than Elijah was 0:04:00.040 --> 0:04:03.320 in his prophecies, in his mighty acts. 0:04:03.040 --> 0:04:04.920 That the Lord worked through him. 0:04:05.320 --> 0:04:10.480 He brought a kid back from death, he healed leprosy, 0:04:12.840 --> 0:04:16.400 he changed the the toxicity of the Jordan river. He 0:04:16.400 --> 0:04:19.480 did all kinds of crazy things, I think probably the 0:04:19.520 --> 0:04:22.560 craziest would be be bringing a child back from death 0:04:22.640 --> 0:04:26.720 to life. Okay, the Lord did that through Elisha. But 0:04:27.360 --> 0:04:30.880 listen to this Second King's thirteen fourteenth so interesting. It 0:04:30.920 --> 0:04:36.480 says this, Now, when Elisha had fallen sick with the 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:40.640 illness of which he was to die, joe Ash, King 0:04:40.640 --> 0:04:43.360 of Israel, went down to him and wept before him, crying. 0:04:43.040 --> 0:04:44.000 My father, my father. 0:04:45.680 --> 0:04:49.120 If you think about that for a second, Elisha falls 0:04:49.360 --> 0:04:53.760 sick with the illness, it says, of which he was 0:04:53.920 --> 0:04:57.560 to die. Elishah, the one that literally brought back a 0:04:57.640 --> 0:05:01.760 child from death to life, who healed things like leprosy, 0:05:02.080 --> 0:05:05.000 who did all these crazy wonders that the Lord did 0:05:05.040 --> 0:05:09.120 through him? One day he gets sick of the illness 0:05:09.160 --> 0:05:12.760 of which he was to die. God has a time 0:05:13.360 --> 0:05:16.440 and a season for everything there is there is. Sometimes 0:05:16.480 --> 0:05:19.800 healing is for healing, excuse me. Sometimes illness is for healing, 0:05:20.480 --> 0:05:24.279 and sometimes illness is for homecoming. In this case in 0:05:24.360 --> 0:05:29.839 Second Kings thirteen fourteen, Elisha's illness is for homecoming, and 0:05:29.880 --> 0:05:32.240 the Lord gives him this illness, and he stays in 0:05:32.279 --> 0:05:35.240 this illness, and he dies of this illness. The man 0:05:35.480 --> 0:05:39.040 who literally healed others dies. 0:05:38.920 --> 0:05:39.680 Of a sickness. 0:05:41.360 --> 0:05:44.120 What do you say to that? Would what would Joe ask, 0:05:44.200 --> 0:05:46.160 the King of Israel say when he went down weeping 0:05:46.200 --> 0:05:48.400 before him, crying, my father, my father. What would he say? 0:05:48.440 --> 0:05:51.400 Would you say, if I have enough faith, Elisha, if 0:05:51.400 --> 0:05:54.160 I just I believe the Lord will heal you. I 0:05:54.200 --> 0:05:55.640 know he will, and I just I need to have 0:05:55.720 --> 0:05:58.840 more faith. So Elisha, you you're healed. What would Elisha 0:05:58.960 --> 0:06:03.520 say to that? He said, my Lord is sovereign. This 0:06:03.560 --> 0:06:04.119 is my time. 0:06:05.400 --> 0:06:05.560 Now. 0:06:05.560 --> 0:06:07.760 Of course we don't know our time, none of us do. 0:06:10.240 --> 0:06:13.400 I probably should go straight. Also to second Corinthians twelve, 0:06:15.320 --> 0:06:19.200 very famous story the apostle Paul, who many of our 0:06:19.279 --> 0:06:22.640 church fathers call just call him the apostle, like whenever 0:06:22.640 --> 0:06:26.160 you hear the word the apostle, we're talking about Paul here. 0:06:27.360 --> 0:06:30.080 That's how great he was in church history. When it 0:06:30.080 --> 0:06:34.480 comes to the apostles. He was the apostle of the apostles. 0:06:36.240 --> 0:06:42.680 Paul says this Second Corinthians twelve seven. So he first 0:06:42.720 --> 0:06:44.880 of all, he lays out this grand story of how 0:06:45.040 --> 0:06:51.200 Paul literally saw heaven. The Lord reveals to him heaven, 0:06:51.640 --> 0:06:56.320 and after he reveals, after Paul says, which he rightly explains, Hey, 0:06:56.320 --> 0:07:00.120 I can't even tell you how incredible this place, and 0:07:00.160 --> 0:07:02.760 I'm not even going to try after that, he says, 0:07:03.160 --> 0:07:07.560 So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the 0:07:07.600 --> 0:07:11.120 surpassing greatness of the revelations that he just said about heaven, 0:07:11.920 --> 0:07:16.520 a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger 0:07:16.840 --> 0:07:22.000 of Satan, to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. 0:07:22.240 --> 0:07:24.880 The Lord gave him a thorn. The Lord gave him. 0:07:24.960 --> 0:07:30.400 God gave Paul a messenger of Satan to harass him, 0:07:30.800 --> 0:07:34.480 to keep him from becoming conceited. And then look, he says. 0:07:34.800 --> 0:07:38.240 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that 0:07:38.360 --> 0:07:41.559 it should leave me, But he said to me, God, 0:07:41.840 --> 0:07:44.920 God said to me, my grace is sufficient for you. 0:07:45.800 --> 0:07:49.680 My power is made perfect in weakness. Then Paul says, 0:07:49.800 --> 0:07:52.880 therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, 0:07:53.440 --> 0:07:55.880 so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 0:07:57.120 --> 0:08:03.840 It's crazy, right, the Lord God gave Paul a thorn. 0:08:03.880 --> 0:08:07.200 We don't know what that analogy necessarily means. The thorn 0:08:07.440 --> 0:08:10.640 a messenger of Satan, So it's it's evil in a 0:08:10.680 --> 0:08:15.400 way to harass him. To keep him in check. Hey, 0:08:15.600 --> 0:08:18.080 just in case you're starting to get conceited, Paul, In 0:08:18.120 --> 0:08:20.920 case you I gave you these beautiful revelations of heaven 0:08:21.040 --> 0:08:23.800 that no one else gets. In case you take these 0:08:23.800 --> 0:08:27.360 revelations and think you're better than anyone, I'm gonna harass you. 0:08:27.480 --> 0:08:30.920 I'm gonna send a messenger from hell to harass you, 0:08:31.280 --> 0:08:34.360 to keep you in check. And Paul says, please, please 0:08:35.160 --> 0:08:37.000 just take this away from me. Tells him he asked 0:08:37.040 --> 0:08:41.680 him three times, probably more, but he writes here, three 0:08:41.720 --> 0:08:44.360 times I pleaded. I pleaded with the Lord that it 0:08:44.400 --> 0:08:50.520 should leave me. But Jesus says, no, you're stuck with it. 0:08:52.040 --> 0:08:55.160 My grace is sufficient for you, my powers made perfect 0:08:55.160 --> 0:08:58.440 and weakness so to that. So then we wrap around 0:08:58.480 --> 0:09:01.360 back to the father and laways say, hey, what would 0:09:01.360 --> 0:09:04.079 father in law say to Paul? Would he say, I 0:09:04.160 --> 0:09:07.960 have full confidence that you will be healed of this 0:09:08.000 --> 0:09:10.480 messenger of Satan to harass you. Paul, You just gotta 0:09:10.520 --> 0:09:19.840 have great faith. Paul. No, No, that's that's ridiculous. We see, 0:09:20.280 --> 0:09:23.160 I'm gonna continue to see. What I want you to 0:09:23.200 --> 0:09:26.480 do is use Bible instead of opinion. 0:09:27.000 --> 0:09:27.880 Use Bible. Bible. 0:09:27.880 --> 0:09:30.840 Bible we have to know who God is. We have 0:09:30.920 --> 0:09:33.079 to know who He is as revealed as He has 0:09:33.080 --> 0:09:35.880 revealed himself in the Bible. And that way we get 0:09:35.880 --> 0:09:39.160 the opinion. Granger's opinion doesn't matter anymore. Your opinion, Rachel, 0:09:39.160 --> 0:09:46.120 doesn't matter anymore. Hebrews two three. How shall we escape 0:09:46.280 --> 0:09:49.600 if we neglect such a great salvation? It was declared 0:09:49.600 --> 0:09:51.959 a first by the Lord, and it was attested to 0:09:52.080 --> 0:09:55.640 us by those who heard. While God also bore witnesses 0:09:55.640 --> 0:09:59.520 by signs and wonders, in various miracles, and by gifts 0:09:59.559 --> 0:10:02.160 of the Holy Spirit distributed according to his will. That's 0:10:02.160 --> 0:10:04.040 how it happened in the beginning when the when the 0:10:04.080 --> 0:10:07.960 early Church was established, signs and wonders were used. 0:10:09.559 --> 0:10:10.200 That's what that was. 0:10:10.200 --> 0:10:13.360 The spark, that was the the early Ember, the spark 0:10:13.600 --> 0:10:15.280 that lit the flame of the early Church, and it 0:10:15.320 --> 0:10:19.000 spread quickly. But then we quickly notice also as the 0:10:19.000 --> 0:10:21.560 Book of Acts moves on, we see that it moves 0:10:21.600 --> 0:10:27.200 from signs and wonders into faith in Christ. Hebrews one 0:10:27.440 --> 0:10:30.360 one to two says, long ago, at many times and 0:10:30.400 --> 0:10:33.040 in many ways, God spoke to us by the prophets. 0:10:33.720 --> 0:10:36.400 But in the last days he has spoken to us 0:10:36.440 --> 0:10:39.520 by his son, whom he appointed the heir of all things. 0:10:41.160 --> 0:10:47.800 Through him also he created the world. There are no 0:10:47.800 --> 0:10:52.240 no no more modern day prophets. There are no no 0:10:52.440 --> 0:10:56.240 more signs and wonders that are used to advance the church. 0:10:57.760 --> 0:11:03.400 Now God has spoken through the on through Jesus. How 0:11:03.440 --> 0:11:05.760 do I know this because two Timothy three sixteen all 0:11:05.800 --> 0:11:09.240 scriptures breed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, 0:11:09.360 --> 0:11:11.679 for correction, and for training and righteousness, that the Man 0:11:11.679 --> 0:11:13.920 of God may be complete equipped for every good work. 0:11:13.960 --> 0:11:18.760 Now we have the scripture, we have Jesus through his word, 0:11:19.360 --> 0:11:21.640 and we have the Holy Spirit to convict us through 0:11:21.679 --> 0:11:24.760 the word of Jesus. So we have Jesus through his living, 0:11:25.000 --> 0:11:33.120 breathing word, and that is completely sufficient. And then we 0:11:33.760 --> 0:11:38.760 have to be warned also because Jesus says himself, false Christ, 0:11:39.640 --> 0:11:44.240 false prophets will arise and perform great signs and wonders 0:11:44.679 --> 0:11:49.640 as to lead astray, if possible, even the elect Jesus says. 0:11:50.880 --> 0:11:53.880 Paul writes, and second Thessalonians too, the coming of the 0:11:53.920 --> 0:11:56.959 lawless one is by the activity of Satan with all 0:11:57.000 --> 0:12:00.640 powers and false signs and wonders, and with all wicked 0:12:00.679 --> 0:12:03.640 deception for those who are perishing because they refused to 0:12:03.720 --> 0:12:09.080 love the truth, and so be saved. And then Paul 0:12:09.080 --> 0:12:12.320 says again at tewond Corinthians five, before we walk by faith, 0:12:12.880 --> 0:12:17.720 not by sight, Jesus himself says, and John twenty, have 0:12:17.840 --> 0:12:20.959 you believed because you've seen me? Blessed are those. 0:12:20.920 --> 0:12:26.560 Who have not seen and yet believe. We move more 0:12:26.600 --> 0:12:32.600 and more to faith. So what do you say? What 0:12:32.640 --> 0:12:34.199 do you say to? What do you say to? 0:12:34.240 --> 0:12:42.920 Father in law? You tread lightly, lovingly. I think we 0:12:43.400 --> 0:12:45.520 always pray for healing. Of course you do. Of course 0:12:45.559 --> 0:12:49.760 you pray for healing for your daughter, you say, Father 0:12:49.840 --> 0:12:52.960 in light, I pray too that she'll be healed. And 0:12:53.000 --> 0:12:55.839 I know that she will be. But you said it right, 0:12:55.880 --> 0:12:58.080 But maybe not here on this earth, but she'll be 0:12:58.200 --> 0:13:02.760 ultimately redeemed in heaven. This life is fleeting, this life 0:13:02.760 --> 0:13:05.720 has a vapor, it's short, it's quick, and whatever God 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:09.040 is using this, this disorder for, it's for his glory. 0:13:09.600 --> 0:13:11.560 We see that in the Gospels as well. Jesus says 0:13:11.600 --> 0:13:16.480 the same thing. The disciples say, hey, why why this sickness? 0:13:17.720 --> 0:13:23.199 And Jesus says, for for the God's for God's glory. 0:13:23.800 --> 0:13:26.000 We have to always remember that. And we get so 0:13:26.080 --> 0:13:29.199 far ahead of ourselves and we start to put the 0:13:29.360 --> 0:13:31.199 we start to put the pressure on us like a 0:13:31.360 --> 0:13:34.160 it's not I'm just not saying the right prayer. I'm 0:13:34.160 --> 0:13:37.400 not I'm not believing enough. And if I just had 0:13:37.440 --> 0:13:39.760 more faith, if I just if I had, you know, 0:13:39.920 --> 0:13:42.520 the faith of a mustard seed, if I could move mountains. 0:13:42.880 --> 0:13:45.520 I just need to grow this faith. If I had 0:13:45.520 --> 0:13:47.440 more and more faith, I could do it. I know 0:13:47.559 --> 0:13:50.160 I could this, this child would be healed of this disorder. 0:13:50.720 --> 0:13:52.720 It's as if God's gone, all right, I've got my 0:13:52.800 --> 0:13:55.280 faith meter on you right now, and I'm trying to 0:13:55.320 --> 0:13:57.440 check you. I'm trying to check your faith meter and you, oh, 0:13:57.520 --> 0:13:59.400 you just kind of sliding back. You need to have 0:13:59.440 --> 0:14:02.560 a little more, and once you get to this certain threshold, boom, 0:14:02.920 --> 0:14:06.040 there is a healing. Good job, you got enough faith 0:14:06.080 --> 0:14:06.319 in you. 0:14:07.679 --> 0:14:10.320 It don't work that way. We don't see that. 0:14:10.960 --> 0:14:14.560 We don't see that. In the way God has revealed 0:14:14.600 --> 0:14:17.520 himself in the full canon, not just the first part 0:14:17.520 --> 0:14:22.520 of Acts, but the full canon of Scripture, we have 0:14:22.600 --> 0:14:26.040 to take everything into in the entire council of his will, 0:14:26.840 --> 0:14:28.080 as he's revealed himself. 0:14:27.880 --> 0:14:29.800 In all sixty six books. We have to do that. 0:14:30.000 --> 0:14:37.720 It's so important. Tread lightley, don't get offensive, use love, 0:14:38.560 --> 0:14:39.320 and use the Bible. 0:14:42.560 --> 0:14:43.280 It's a good question. 0:14:44.960 --> 0:14:46.080 Hey, if you want to get a hold of me, 0:14:46.120 --> 0:14:49.480 go to cameo dot com slash granger Smith. You will 0:14:49.520 --> 0:14:52.280 find me there and from there I could build you 0:14:52.360 --> 0:14:55.000 a video message. I get your notes and what you 0:14:55.040 --> 0:14:57.920 want me to say, like happy birthday, happy anniversary, a 0:14:57.960 --> 0:15:02.720 word of encouragement, congratulations, good job on the graduation, or 0:15:02.760 --> 0:15:05.000 why did you not make graduation? Whatever you want me 0:15:05.040 --> 0:15:07.280 to say. I'll read those notes and I pull out 0:15:07.320 --> 0:15:10.040 my phone and I record a video message and I 0:15:10.080 --> 0:15:12.400 say whatever you need me to say to whoever you 0:15:12.440 --> 0:15:14.280 need me to say it too, and I send it 0:15:14.360 --> 0:15:14.960 right back to you. 0:15:15.600 --> 0:15:16.400 It's super simple. 0:15:16.440 --> 0:15:18.880 It's a great gift for the person that you don't 0:15:18.920 --> 0:15:21.600 know what to buy for. Again, go to Cameo cam 0:15:21.680 --> 0:15:24.280 eo dot com slash Grangersmith. 0:15:24.760 --> 0:15:25.560 Okay, let's move on. 0:15:25.600 --> 0:15:28.240 If you have a question for me, email podcast at 0:15:28.280 --> 0:15:34.200 grangersmith dot com. This next question is from anonymous. It says, Hey, Granger, 0:15:34.880 --> 0:15:37.000 there's this girl at work and I've liked her for 0:15:37.080 --> 0:15:40.400 over a year. She's also my boss's daughter. We make 0:15:40.440 --> 0:15:43.440 eye contact whenever I see her, and she either smiles 0:15:43.520 --> 0:15:46.400 or quickly looks away. She's been with her current boyfriend 0:15:46.440 --> 0:15:49.440 for about nine months and they've been doing long distance, 0:15:49.960 --> 0:15:52.720 and he won't be living here for a year. I've 0:15:52.720 --> 0:15:55.760 been to my boss's house multiple times to help remodel, 0:15:56.320 --> 0:15:59.200 and I've talked to the girl and she's really sweet. 0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:02.080 We're both What do you recommend I do? 0:16:04.280 --> 0:16:04.640 All right? 0:16:04.680 --> 0:16:08.080 Anonymous coming in slide with putting no name on here, 0:16:08.120 --> 0:16:08.440 I get it. 0:16:08.480 --> 0:16:08.920 I get it. 0:16:09.360 --> 0:16:13.960 Okay, there are several approaches to this. I'm gonna go 0:16:14.000 --> 0:16:18.600 with the first one that comes to my mind. You're 0:16:18.640 --> 0:16:22.640 twenty years old, you know. I think that's I put 0:16:22.680 --> 0:16:25.000 you on the older end of the scale of this 0:16:25.000 --> 0:16:28.040 this kind of thing. If you're saying you're seventeen sixteen, 0:16:29.280 --> 0:16:32.320 I'd say this doesn't really matter. But you're you're in 0:16:32.600 --> 0:16:36.240 you're twenty, and you're actually kind of in courting age now, 0:16:36.360 --> 0:16:39.160 you're you're dating age. You're the age that I would 0:16:39.200 --> 0:16:44.680 approve my daughter to actually date. And I want you 0:16:44.720 --> 0:16:48.560 what I want. This is my advice, and I'm not 0:16:48.600 --> 0:16:51.200 always right about these things, but I like to think 0:16:51.240 --> 0:16:56.480 that my advice is coming from an idea that me 0:16:56.520 --> 0:16:58.320 and you are in a cab of a truck. We're 0:16:58.400 --> 0:16:59.960 riding down the road on the way to a job, 0:17:00.360 --> 0:17:02.160 and you asked me this question, and I'm like, bro, 0:17:02.640 --> 0:17:05.960 let's talk about it. We're sitting around a campfire and 0:17:06.000 --> 0:17:08.600 you say, Hey, grangerec I got this question about this girl. 0:17:08.440 --> 0:17:12.040 I've liked for over a year. What would you do? Right? 0:17:12.080 --> 0:17:15.439 So that's the perspective. I'm gonna give you just some 0:17:15.600 --> 0:17:18.760 friend advice. I would say, if you're a man of 0:17:18.800 --> 0:17:21.760 integrity and I want you to be as my friend, 0:17:22.920 --> 0:17:28.399 you're not going to come in reckon this relationship, especially 0:17:28.440 --> 0:17:30.520 since you barely know this girl. You've seen her, you've 0:17:30.560 --> 0:17:34.240 seen her multiple times maybe, and she's really sweet, that's 0:17:34.240 --> 0:17:37.320 about all you know, and she's kind of shy. I say, 0:17:37.680 --> 0:17:42.280 I would maintain that. I would maintain that relationship ship 0:17:42.320 --> 0:17:44.320 that you have right now, which is just cordial. 0:17:45.040 --> 0:17:45.880 You're a gentleman. 0:17:48.040 --> 0:17:51.920 Look you come in and you go, hey, that guy's 0:17:51.960 --> 0:17:53.680 no good for you. I like you, Why don't you 0:17:53.720 --> 0:17:58.000 start dating me. There's a couple of things you're doing there. One, 0:17:59.400 --> 0:18:01.760 you're opening the door for you to wonder if she's 0:18:01.800 --> 0:18:04.040 going to do that to you down the road with 0:18:04.080 --> 0:18:07.439 someone else that approaches her like that. It's kind of 0:18:07.520 --> 0:18:12.320 undermining that she's in a relationship at all. Look when 0:18:12.359 --> 0:18:15.000 Amber and I first met, she was in a relationship 0:18:15.880 --> 0:18:18.440 and she came to me. This is this is where 0:18:18.440 --> 0:18:21.280 it's different. Amber came to me and said, hey, do 0:18:21.280 --> 0:18:25.000 you think there's something between us? But I wouldn't have 0:18:25.080 --> 0:18:25.399 done that. 0:18:27.800 --> 0:18:27.919 Now. 0:18:27.960 --> 0:18:30.960 Call maybe I'm slightly introverted when it comes to that. 0:18:31.040 --> 0:18:35.080 I mean I've always been slightly intimidated by the opposite 0:18:35.080 --> 0:18:39.320 sex anyway. But I wouldn't have gone she had a boyfriend. 0:18:39.800 --> 0:18:41.879 I wasn't going to come in and say, hey, man, 0:18:41.920 --> 0:18:43.840 that guy's no good for you. You need to come 0:18:43.880 --> 0:18:46.320 to me. I'll show you. I'll show you what a 0:18:46.359 --> 0:18:49.040 real man's like. You know that that's not my personality, 0:18:49.520 --> 0:18:51.240 and I don't think it's yours. And I don't think 0:18:51.359 --> 0:18:53.880 I wouldn't advocate for that. If you're my buddy, you're 0:18:53.880 --> 0:18:57.680 my friend. But Amber comes to me and she says, hey, 0:18:57.720 --> 0:18:59.880 do you think there's more between us? And I am 0:19:00.600 --> 0:19:05.480 by saying I don't think it matters what I say. 0:19:06.040 --> 0:19:09.159 I think this is a bigger indication first that you 0:19:09.200 --> 0:19:13.479 shouldn't be dating this guy. Notice I didn't say because 0:19:13.520 --> 0:19:15.640 I'm better or yes, I like you. 0:19:16.200 --> 0:19:17.720 I said I. 0:19:17.680 --> 0:19:20.439 Think this is a greater indication. If you're coming to 0:19:20.480 --> 0:19:22.520 me and saying, is there anything in between us? I 0:19:22.560 --> 0:19:25.240 think this is a greater indication that you probably shouldn't 0:19:25.240 --> 0:19:28.520 be dating that guy. So go talk to that guy, 0:19:29.200 --> 0:19:31.639 come back, and then we could have a real discussion. 0:19:33.400 --> 0:19:35.000 I don't think that's the perfect way to do it, 0:19:35.040 --> 0:19:38.320 but I think there's a there's a threat of integrity 0:19:38.320 --> 0:19:42.000 there where you're you're not saying, yeah, I like you, Hey, 0:19:42.080 --> 0:19:45.800 let's let's get together and go break up with this guy, 0:19:45.960 --> 0:19:48.520 let's let's hook up. I don't think that's what this is. 0:19:48.560 --> 0:19:51.720 I think you play it out. You're twenty years old, 0:19:51.920 --> 0:19:55.320 you're looking for your future wife, Lord willing, and you 0:19:55.359 --> 0:19:56.000 want to play. 0:19:55.800 --> 0:19:56.440 The long game. 0:19:57.760 --> 0:19:59.520 If you're looking for your future wife, you're not looking 0:19:59.520 --> 0:20:02.280 for a quick go at this. You know you're you 0:20:02.320 --> 0:20:04.200 want to do the right thing. You want to play 0:20:04.240 --> 0:20:08.360 the right card, and and that that card is is longevity. 0:20:08.680 --> 0:20:12.880 That's I care about this girl and her heart more 0:20:12.920 --> 0:20:14.919 than I care about me and the quick fix. If 0:20:14.960 --> 0:20:19.000 I like this girl, I want to go on a date, right, 0:20:19.720 --> 0:20:23.359 And so I think in your situation, unless she comes 0:20:23.359 --> 0:20:26.719 to you and says I like you, and then at 0:20:26.720 --> 0:20:28.440 that point I think your answer is then you should 0:20:28.440 --> 0:20:31.600 break up with the guy before you give her your feelings. 0:20:32.640 --> 0:20:34.480 But if she doesn't do that, which she might not, 0:20:35.200 --> 0:20:39.879 then you just stay the course. This is your boss, 0:20:39.960 --> 0:20:43.320 by the way, don't ruin that relationship because this is 0:20:43.480 --> 0:20:46.320 this could easily go south. You go to the girl 0:20:47.000 --> 0:20:49.720 and she says, you're a creepo. What are you talking about? 0:20:49.760 --> 0:20:51.880 I have a boyfriend. And then she goes, Daddy, you're 0:20:51.960 --> 0:20:54.040 the guy that works for you is a creepo. And 0:20:54.080 --> 0:20:56.600 then your boss is looking at you. Weird things are 0:20:56.920 --> 0:20:59.080 things are strange, you're looking for a new job. I mean, 0:20:59.119 --> 0:21:03.439 it could easily go direction. So stay the course. Be 0:21:03.520 --> 0:21:08.760 a gentleman, open doors, don't overstep bounds, don't be caught 0:21:08.800 --> 0:21:12.840 alone with her. If she's carrying something, offered to carry it, 0:21:12.960 --> 0:21:16.919 you know, like standard gentleman things. Be a good worker 0:21:16.920 --> 0:21:21.040 for her dad, I mean. And the more and more 0:21:21.080 --> 0:21:23.719 I answer these questions, the more I think less of 0:21:23.760 --> 0:21:26.159 myself as a teenager or a twenty year old, And 0:21:26.240 --> 0:21:26.520 the more. 0:21:26.560 --> 0:21:27.000 I think of. 0:21:26.960 --> 0:21:29.680 Myself as the dad character in these stories because I 0:21:29.680 --> 0:21:29.879 have a. 0:21:29.920 --> 0:21:30.760 Daughter that's twelve. 0:21:32.160 --> 0:21:35.240 You know, we're eight years away from this scenario potentially, 0:21:35.280 --> 0:21:39.000 and I'm the dad now. So be a good worker 0:21:39.000 --> 0:21:42.159 for this guy. Be a man of integrity, show up early, 0:21:42.720 --> 0:21:48.000 stay late, do the work of a good employee. Do 0:21:48.119 --> 0:21:50.240 things with excellence. That's what I try to tell my kids. Now, 0:21:50.280 --> 0:21:52.840 do it with excellence. If you're gonna hang your shirt 0:21:52.920 --> 0:21:56.120 up on the hanger in your closet, do it with excellence. 0:21:56.240 --> 0:21:58.840 Sometimes I tell Lincoln, how would a Navy field hang 0:21:58.880 --> 0:21:59.480 that shirt up? 0:22:00.240 --> 0:22:00.520 Is it? 0:22:00.560 --> 0:22:03.800 Is it all wrinkled and hanging off the hanger, or 0:22:03.880 --> 0:22:06.040 is it perfectly put on that hanger. Takes two more 0:22:06.080 --> 0:22:09.719 seconds to perfectly put that shirt on that hanger with 0:22:09.760 --> 0:22:11.960 all the wrinkles gone, and space it out in the 0:22:11.960 --> 0:22:14.480 closet so it doesn't look like you just shoved it 0:22:14.520 --> 0:22:16.959 in there. Do that kind of thing for this for 0:22:17.000 --> 0:22:21.000 this guy. That's that your boss create a relationship with 0:22:21.080 --> 0:22:23.760 him so that in the future you're setting up this 0:22:23.800 --> 0:22:26.600 long game. And if the girl breaks up with the guy, 0:22:26.640 --> 0:22:28.320 and if it's if it's meant to be, she will 0:22:28.760 --> 0:22:31.480 If if the lord wills. This is your wife. She 0:22:31.600 --> 0:22:32.320 will break up. 0:22:32.680 --> 0:22:33.520 Got a sovereign. 0:22:34.320 --> 0:22:38.560 They won't work. The guy won't move to hurt your 0:22:38.600 --> 0:22:41.159 town or whatever. But if that happens, you're playing the 0:22:41.200 --> 0:22:44.639 long game, and you're you're building this relationship with the boss. 0:22:44.640 --> 0:22:48.439