Speaker 1: This is a Jesse Kelly Show.
Speaker 2: It is the Jesse Kelly Show.
Speaker 1: Final hour of The Jesse Kelly Show on a Wednesday,
Speaker 1: a Hope Day. We'll make fun of the fact checking
Speaker 1: union getting mad at Mark Zuckerberg. We'll talk very, very briefly.
Speaker 1: I don't want to spend too long on it. It's
Speaker 1: a little dark, and between these fires and everything else,
Speaker 1: I don't want to get too dark tonight. But we'll
Speaker 1: talk a little bit about bankruptcies and some trouble that
Speaker 1: may be brewing on the rise and economically and otherwise.
Speaker 1: But other than that, we get through some emails and
Speaker 1: have some fun in this final hour. How does that sound? First,
Speaker 1: remember this, this is where I'm going with This is
Speaker 1: Mark Suckerg. You know, the Facebook CEO I already talked
Speaker 1: to yesterday. How I don't trust anything he says. But
Speaker 1: he came out and he said, oh man, I love
Speaker 1: freedom now and I'm gonna be working with Trump and
Speaker 1: well with all that censorship. Oh sorry about censoring you.
Speaker 1: That was totally not my fault. There were some mistakes,
Speaker 1: and really the problem was we hired some independent fact
Speaker 1: checking company and they didn't do a good job, and
Speaker 1: we fired them, but it wasn't my fault. Okay, so
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna go off on Zuckerberg again. But that company,
Speaker 1: it's called the International fact Checking Network, what it's called,
Speaker 1: they had an emergency meeting and essentially they said, oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, we're going to go out of business if
Speaker 1: Facebook isn't paying us anymore. But this goes well beyond them,
Speaker 1: This goes to the fact checking industry itself. You see,
Speaker 1: the fact checking industry, if you dig into it at all,
Speaker 1: is almost all in fact. I've never seen one that isn't,
Speaker 1: but it's almost all funded by communist billionaires and communist organizations.
Speaker 1: Why what's going on there? Well, if you listen to
Speaker 1: the show for any length of time, you already know.
Speaker 1: But let's assume you're new here for a moment. Communism
Speaker 1: is awful. We're not even gonna talk about how it
Speaker 1: doesn't work. Are those things, but it's awful. It's awful,
Speaker 1: and its promises are awful too. You know, they're promising
Speaker 1: to bring down everything that's the idea, Everything that currently
Speaker 1: stands is evil, and therefore everything must be brought down.
Speaker 1: And then, of course they promised to build something after,
Speaker 1: but it never gets to that point, it's just burn
Speaker 1: and burn and burn and burn and burn. It was Mao.
Speaker 1: I believe it was Mao or Lenin. I think it
Speaker 1: was Mao who said revolution without end. Yeah, it was Mao,
Speaker 1: Revolution without end. Always burning, always burning, always burning things.
Speaker 1: That's what it is. It's a demonic religion. So how
Speaker 1: do you sell that? That's hard to sell. Even your
Speaker 1: liberal ant pegy wouldn't buy into that. So you have
Speaker 1: to lie. As we've talked about many times, it's not
Speaker 1: that you have to lie on occasion when you're a communist, Wow,
Speaker 1: I mean if it gets too bad, we'll tell a
Speaker 1: little fib and kind of no. No no, no, no, no no no.
Speaker 1: When you're selling a religion, a demonic religion of destruction,
Speaker 1: you have to lie about everything at all times. Everything
Speaker 1: has to be a lie. Why because if the morons
Speaker 1: who follow your religion catch on to the fact that
Speaker 1: you're just trying to destroy everything, they won't support you anymore.
Speaker 1: You have to construct a world of make believe so
Speaker 1: they can live inside of that world. That's why your
Speaker 1: liberal ant pegy thinks the Hunter Biben laptop was Russian Galuo.
Speaker 1: That's why your liberal and Peggy thinks George Floyd was
Speaker 1: killed by Derek Chauvin, by that cop in Minneapolis. She
Speaker 1: thinks these things. She knows these things because she lives
Speaker 1: in a world of make believe. How do you hold
Speaker 1: up the world of make believe? Whether There are a
Speaker 1: bunch of different ways you have to censor the truth
Speaker 1: and things like that. But one of the ways is, hey,
Speaker 1: why don't we just start a company and we'll call
Speaker 1: it a fact checking company. Of course, who can decide
Speaker 1: what that means? Whoever's paying the bills. So I just
Speaker 1: hire a company, or I just start a company. I
Speaker 1: call it Jesse Kelly fact Checking, and I tell everyone
Speaker 1: who works there to cover for communists at all times,
Speaker 1: attack the right, and cover for communists at all times.
Speaker 1: And then you go to people in the corporate world
Speaker 1: who are either evil or don't know any better, and
Speaker 1: you sell your services as a fact checker company. Hey,
Speaker 1: we're an independent company. We will fact check that thing
Speaker 1: for you. That's how it worked at places like Facebook.
Speaker 1: The thing is this, the world of make believe eventually
Speaker 1: comes crumbling down. It always does. That's a huge reason
Speaker 1: why the Soviet Union fell. Yeah, there are a bunch
Speaker 1: of different factors, but one of the main reasons, probably
Speaker 1: the main reason it wasn't Ronald Reagan, although he was
Speaker 1: great and he did great things to bring it down.
Speaker 1: One of the main reasons was the lies just didn't
Speaker 1: hold up anymore. And people on a long enough timeline,
Speaker 1: after they suffer enough, people will look around and say,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, these people have lied about everything. And
Speaker 1: as soon as people's eyes are open, as soon as
Speaker 1: the scales fall off their eyes and they see the
Speaker 1: world of make believe they live in, then communists cease
Speaker 1: to have any power at all. And it is a vast,
Speaker 1: well funded network out there of people trying to keep
Speaker 1: the morons in a world of make believe. Your Liberal
Speaker 1: and Pagy very likely is not an evil demon. You know,
Speaker 1: it's very likely she's not an evil demon like Bill
Speaker 1: Gates or something like that. She's probably just really stupid,
Speaker 1: and really stupid people are really easy to keep in
Speaker 1: that world of make believe, even Liberal and Pagy. After
Speaker 1: enough pain, there's a chance she will wake up one day.
Speaker 1: The second you see fact checking network like PolitiFact. That's
Speaker 1: a big one in the political world, PolitiFact, or it's
Speaker 1: another one, Snopes. Snopes is another big one, these fact
Speaker 1: checking organizations. For yourself a favor, go dig into the
Speaker 1: funding behind and all these things. It's all a bunch
Speaker 1: of dirty comedies. Jesse. I have a party coming up
Speaker 1: from my daughter's softball team and the parents. What are
Speaker 1: the menu whispers recommendations to bring food? Okay, so I'm
Speaker 1: gonna give you two recommendations, and you will probably dislike
Speaker 1: both of my recommendations. That's fine. You don't have to
Speaker 1: listen to the menu whisper. But I'm here to tell you,
Speaker 1: depending on your finances, you're gonna hit a home run.
Speaker 1: One's really cheap, the other one that's not super expensive.
Speaker 1: It's just more complicated. First, if you have access to
Speaker 1: a smoker, but this would work in an oven. You
Speaker 1: don't have to have a smoker. You can do this
Speaker 1: in the oven. My world famous Kso don't shake your head, Chris. Onions, Okay,
Speaker 1: you eat onions. They could just buy the diced onions
Speaker 1: from the store if you don't want to dice them yourself.
Speaker 1: But it's really cheap to buy an onion and dice
Speaker 1: it yourself. Pickled jalapenos, I've tried it with fresh ones.
Speaker 1: You gotta go with the crushed the chopped up, pickled jalapenos,
Speaker 1: crushed chipotle peppers, velveta velvita's key. Shut up, Chris, there
Speaker 1: could be a second cheese. I usually use smoked gouda.
Speaker 1: Depending on your budget, you can chuck it up. You
Speaker 1: can chunk it up yourself, or just buy the chunked
Speaker 1: up thing. A couple cans of cream of mushroom soup.
Speaker 1: Don't shake your head, Chris. The cream of mushroom soup
Speaker 1: is not there. There's no mushrooms in it. It's just
Speaker 1: there to keep it liquidy. Otherwise this thing can get way, way,
Speaker 1: way too thick. We're talking the view thick. It gives
Speaker 1: way too thick. A couple cans a cream of mushroom soup.
Speaker 1: Throw it on the smoker. Let it go for an hour.
Speaker 1: It does three five. Open up your smoker. Mix all
Speaker 1: the ingredients in. You don't have to mix them beforehand.
Speaker 1: Throw it on for another hour. Pull it off. This
Speaker 1: works just fine in the oven. It won't be smoked
Speaker 1: in one of that smoky flavor, but it works fine
Speaker 1: in the oven. Pull it out, Oh, Jesse, I can't
Speaker 1: do that. Someone is bringing brisket and someone's bringing her
Speaker 1: beer canned chicken, and someone else is bringing this. I
Speaker 1: bet you money Jesse Kelly's caso. And I just stole
Speaker 1: this recipe from a bunch of recipes I saw online.
Speaker 1: Don't think I came up with this one scratch Jesse
Speaker 1: Kelly's Caso. It'll be gone before any of the rest
Speaker 1: of this stuff's gone. And if that fails, or maybe
Speaker 1: you don't have the money or whatnot. Ob gets really
Speaker 1: really mad when I do this. And guess what goes
Speaker 1: like hotcakes? Every time Little Caesar's Pizzas it's six dollars
Speaker 1: for a large pepperoni. I love Little Caesar's Pizza. When
Speaker 1: we had Little Caesar's Pizza Night when I was a kid,
Speaker 1: this once every few weeks. We didn't eat out a lot,
Speaker 1: but we get Little Caesar's pizza and some crazy bread.
Speaker 1: It was fantastic. Grab a couple large pepperonis. It's twelve dollars. Oh,
Speaker 1: everyone's gonna make fun of you. Everyone makes fun of
Speaker 1: me at these neighborhood parties I go to. Every single
Speaker 1: time I show up with Little Caesars obs yelling. The
Speaker 1: neighbors are laughing. Ah, look at white trash. Jesse guess
Speaker 1: what's gone in half a freaking second. The Little Caesar's pizza.
Speaker 1: Everybody wants to go get a slice of Little Caesar's.
Speaker 1: Trust me on that boom. Just solve your pot luck.
Speaker 1: Let's talk about the January sixth committee and then back
Speaker 1: to some more emails. First, let's find you a decent employee.
Speaker 1: You see, ZipRecruiter is there. Whether you're an employee employer,
Speaker 1: ZipRecruiter is there. But let's talk to the employers for
Speaker 1: a moment. It's hard hard to find good people. Now,
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Speaker 1: is everyone knows it. Now, everyone knows about ZipRecruiter. All
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Speaker 1: to get somebody quality, somebody make your company better. ZipRecruiter
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Speaker 1: risk hiring yet another dirtball you have to fire in
Speaker 1: a month because he shows up drunk. ZipRecruiter dot com,
Speaker 1: slash jesse We'll be back. Missed out catch up Jesse
Speaker 1: kellyshow dot com.
Speaker 2: It is the Jesse Kelly Show on a Wednesday, a
Speaker 2: hook day. Reminding you you can email the show Jesse
Speaker 2: at Jesse kellyshow dot com leave us a voicemail eight
Speaker 2: seven seven three seven seven four three seven three. So
Speaker 2: from the Daily Fetched, the January sixth Committee colluded with
Speaker 2: Fanny Willis to target Trump. Well, this is not news,
Speaker 2: but this explains why the preemptive pardons are coming down,
Speaker 2: and it is something that I am looking forward to.
Speaker 2: I think seeing just how many bodies are buried and
Speaker 2: where they're buried, how many criminal acts were committed underneath
Speaker 2: the Biden administration, by the Biden administration themselves, by the DOJ, FBI.
Speaker 2: The ultimate question with this is, and I said, I
Speaker 2: think I'm looking forward to it because.
Speaker 1: What is Pam Bondy going to do. Pam Bondy's going
Speaker 1: to be the Attorney General. I talked to a US
Speaker 1: senator today, Pam BONDI looks like she's going to sail through.
Speaker 1: In fact, I got some good news. It sounded like
Speaker 1: all the nominees are going to sail through. Hag Seth Cash.
Speaker 1: But tell all of them, but let's focus on probably
Speaker 1: the most important one. The head of the DOJ. Let
Speaker 1: me positive explained why it's the most important one. I
Speaker 1: always talk about how government people need to go to jail.
Speaker 1: They have to go to jail. The most severe punishments
Speaker 1: in any society have to be reserved for government people
Speaker 1: who abuse their power. It has to be that's how
Speaker 1: you preserve a socie. Well, government people in our country,
Speaker 1: because everything's upside down, they're never held to account at
Speaker 1: all for anything. But why because of the DOJ. You know,
Speaker 1: your senator whoever it is, you're congressman, he can refer
Speaker 1: somebody to the DOJ for the most heinous crimes. It's
Speaker 1: still up to the DOJ to decide whether or not
Speaker 1: that person gets prosecuted for those crimes. The DOJ is
Speaker 1: the wall protecting government employees from accountability. We have this BONDI.
Speaker 1: She's going to come in, She's going to be ag
Speaker 1: what is she going to do?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know she's going to prosecute cartels and things
Speaker 1: like that and do the basic GOP things. I know
Speaker 1: that the ultimate question is is Pam Bondy going to
Speaker 1: have the stomach to arrest communists in our government who
Speaker 1: have used their power illegally, and that is a coin
Speaker 1: flip cynical. Jesse says, not a chance. I've never seen
Speaker 1: that before. Every one of these losers gets in there
Speaker 1: and they talk tough and it sounds really tough. But
Speaker 1: for some reason, government people never end up in jail.
Speaker 1: Is it going to be a repeat of what I've
Speaker 1: seen my whole life? I don't know. I hope not.
Speaker 1: But the Biden administration was a criminal enterprise. The things
Speaker 1: they did were criminal family themselves before we even get
Speaker 1: to the FBI, this is all criminal. These are criminal acts.
Speaker 1: Don't let them off with while they're dumb or a
Speaker 1: little These are criminals. What will Pam Bondy do the
Speaker 1: January sixth Committee? Everything I've seen looks like they committed crimes,
Speaker 1: lots of them. And if they colluded with Fanny Willis,
Speaker 1: Prosecutor out of Fulton County, Georgia. Uh, that's like life
Speaker 1: in prison. No, no, no, don't get wrong. No one's
Speaker 1: going to spend life in prison for it. But it
Speaker 1: should be life in prison. The question is, does Pam
Speaker 1: Bondy have it in her to actually clean out government corruption?
Speaker 1: Does she have it in her to look inward instead
Speaker 1: of outward. They all get in there and announce these initiatives.
Speaker 1: We're going after drug trafficking, and we're going after this
Speaker 1: group and that group. We're gonna go after the mafia.
Speaker 1: But all that stuff's fine. I don't care. I want
Speaker 1: to hear who's going after the government, who's going to
Speaker 1: go after government officials? And that starts and stops in
Speaker 1: the DOJ. Did you know the DOJ works with the
Speaker 1: Central Intelligence Agency? Do you know that you see CIA
Speaker 1: when they have whistleblowers and there have been many who
Speaker 1: have come forward talking about the corruption in the CIA, Well,
Speaker 1: the state secrets. The DOJ will come out and they'll say, well,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, that's a state secret. You can't say anything.
Speaker 1: The DOJ runs cover for the corrupt CIA. The DOJ
Speaker 1: runs cover for the corrupt FBI atf IRS. The DOJ
Speaker 1: has been the wall preventing government employees from going to prison.
Speaker 1: Is Pam Bondy going to shatter that wall? I don't know,
Speaker 1: But that is the ultimate question.
Speaker 3: Do you hear Fetterman to remind everybody that we have
Speaker 3: hundreds and hundreds of thousands of migrants here illegally that
Speaker 3: have convicted of crimes, and I don't know why who
Speaker 3: wants to defend to allow them to remain in our nation?
Speaker 3: There that and now if you're here illegally and you're
Speaker 3: committing crimes and those things, I don't know why anybody
Speaker 3: thinks that it's controversial that they all need to go.
Speaker 1: I don't trust them either. I know everyone's on the
Speaker 1: Fetterman bandwagon. I get all that. You know what that
Speaker 1: sounds like to me? That sounds to me like a
Speaker 1: Democrat in a state that just went solidly for Donald Trump.
Speaker 1: That's what it sounds like. That that sounds like a
Speaker 1: Democrat who's interested in getting re election re elected. Call
Speaker 1: me crazy. John Fetterman has a very, very far left
Speaker 1: career behind him. But maybe I'm just being cynical. Jesse.
Speaker 1: All right, let's do some more emails. Before we do that,
Speaker 1: let's talk about preborn. Let's save a baby's life. We're
Speaker 1: all out there looking at all the garbage happening, and
Speaker 1: we all want to do something good. Is there anything
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Speaker 1: jaws of death? When young women are about to abort
Speaker 1: their baby preborn, We'll try to find them and offer
Speaker 1: them help for free, a free ultrasound. Once you introduce
Speaker 1: a mother to her baby with an ultrasound, once she
Speaker 1: hears that heartbeat, she chooses life almost every time. And
Speaker 1: the ultrasound costs twenty eight dollars. And preborn is tax deductible.
Speaker 1: You freaking write you deducted off your taxes. Give as
Speaker 1: much as you want. Preborn dot com slash jesse is
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Speaker 1: Preborn dot com slash jesse sponsored by Preborn We'll be back.
Speaker 1: Is he smarter than everyone who knows? Does he think so? Yeah?
Speaker 1: The Jesse Kelly Show. It is the Jesse Kelly Show
Speaker 1: on a Wednesday. Remember, if you missed any part of
Speaker 1: the show, you can download the whole thing on iHeart, Spotify, iTunes.
Speaker 1: All right, so we're not gonna take a lot of
Speaker 1: time on this, but I've had more than one guy
Speaker 1: economist tell me some version of this. The most recent one,
Speaker 1: very very sharp guy. He's with heritage. Peter saint Are
Speaker 1: is his name. He's the most recent one. But he's
Speaker 1: not the only one who said this to me. Biden
Speaker 1: has done so much economic damage in the last four years,
Speaker 1: and they've essentially been painting over the rust, pumping as
Speaker 1: much money, funny money into the economy as humanly possible
Speaker 1: so it all didn't come crashing down under his watch.
Speaker 1: And things are if you look at the various the
Speaker 1: different ways you can look at the economy, things are
Speaker 1: on very, very shaky ground. I've been told some version
Speaker 1: of that by multiple people that it's really really rough
Speaker 1: out there, and if you look at the right things
Speaker 1: when it comes to economic indicators, that we might have
Speaker 1: a rocky road set up for the incoming Trump administration.
Speaker 1: This headline, I'm not going to spend a lot of time.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be all dark and depressed right now,
Speaker 1: just not going to do it. But this headline kind
Speaker 1: of backs that up. This is from the Epic Times.
Speaker 1: Corporate bankruptcies surge to a fourteen year high. Fourteen years
Speaker 1: that's twenty and eleven was the last time bankruptcies were
Speaker 1: this high in corporate America. That's a big deal. That
Speaker 1: that's not good. That means businesses are not making ends meet.
Speaker 1: When they're not making ends meet, they're not hiring. It's
Speaker 1: bad for everybody. I don't know that we're on the
Speaker 1: way to a rocky road. You know, Trump's going to
Speaker 1: get in there. And economically, he was a very very
Speaker 1: good president for three years last time till COVID got here,
Speaker 1: very very good president here. He deregulates things. It's one
Speaker 1: of the things he does really well. So the economy
Speaker 1: is going to open up, if you will, fewer rules,
Speaker 1: get more of the government out of it. Hopefully we
Speaker 1: can ease the pain of what's to come because of that.
Speaker 1: But it is not set up to look that great
Speaker 1: right now. And that's all I'm gonna say. Now. I'm
Speaker 1: also going to say this, I've not been a big
Speaker 1: fan of Brandon Johnson, the filthy communist mayor who runs
Speaker 1: the city of Chicago. Not being a big fan is
Speaker 1: actually putting it pretty mildly. But yeah, he's a dirt ball. However,
Speaker 1: every now and then, even people we dislike can say
Speaker 1: things we love and we admire, and Brandon Johnson said
Speaker 1: it here. Brandon Johnson was asked about his dreadful approval numbers,
Speaker 1: and look, you've heard some political spin in your life.
Speaker 1: I've heard some political spin in my life, but spinning
Speaker 1: disastrous approval numbers in this way. But love the goos.
Speaker 4: Some polls shows seventy six percent of those surveyed say
Speaker 4: Chicago would be better off with a different mayor. I
Speaker 4: actually am humbled that the people of Chicago believe in
Speaker 4: my administration enough to have greater expectations than any other administration.
Speaker 4: That's what leadership looks like, and I'm humbled to do it.
Speaker 1: Why do you say that, Why do you say that
Speaker 1: there's greater expectations?
Speaker 4: I don't know, because I hear that because and then
Speaker 4: the feedback instead is that the polling is poor. So
Speaker 4: how do you're just I don't know how you interpret.
Speaker 1: It that way?
Speaker 4: Well, because maybe because I'm a middle child. Maybe it's
Speaker 4: because I'm a Bears fan. By the way, the Bears
Speaker 4: are undefeated in twenty twenty five, So off to a story.
Speaker 4: Here's what I'm saying, though, Look, the people of Chicago
Speaker 4: voted for me to invest in them, and that's exactly
Speaker 4: what we've done, and I'm going to catch me to
Speaker 4: do that.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's because I'm a middle child. Hey, seventy six
Speaker 1: percent of the people hate your guns, and once you replaced,
Speaker 1: I am humbled by their support. Ha I love these guys, Jesse.
Speaker 1: I was elected president of the Lake Association last year
Speaker 1: and now attend meetings with the group that calls themselves
Speaker 1: the Coalition of Lake Associations for our state. They're all
Speaker 1: total leftists. Every meeting leans to the far left. Here's
Speaker 1: a statement from them about our December meeting. Quote. In
Speaker 1: the first part of our meeting, wee we'll talk about
Speaker 1: kids and why we should be focusing on them. We
Speaker 1: often direct our efforts toward adults as we work to
Speaker 1: improve some lake problem, but we know that engaging kids
Speaker 1: in issues that impact the environment is a winning ticket.
Speaker 1: Once kids learn about something, they push their parents and
Speaker 1: grandparents to change their behaviors. Communism. One oh one. I
Speaker 1: read this email. We got this email a while back,
Speaker 1: but I've been meaning to read it to you for
Speaker 1: this reason. Not because you care about this guy's Lake Association,
Speaker 1: but because there's something else we don't talk about enough.
Speaker 1: I always bring up school boards, legal and local school boards,
Speaker 1: city councils, county board of supervisors. I want you to
Speaker 1: run for office. I want you to get involved the losers,
Speaker 1: the communists in your society, in your city, yes, even
Speaker 1: your red city. They all take positions of power. However,
Speaker 1: I say school board and city council enough. But I
Speaker 1: don't want you to think that's the only thing. How
Speaker 1: many different boards are there in your town? How many
Speaker 1: do you even know? Most people don't, And it's fine,
Speaker 1: I'm not judging. Go look, go look at how many
Speaker 1: county boards. There's a water board, there's a lake board,
Speaker 1: there's a this that they're the homeowners association. If you
Speaker 1: don't get involved and occupy those positions of power, the
Speaker 1: communists will, And I almost guarantee you the communists already are.
Speaker 1: I've seen this as I've gotten more and more involved
Speaker 1: in local politics in recent years, showing up at the meetings,
Speaker 1: the forums, things like that. You'll show up in some forums,
Speaker 1: so local meeting, and they'll be talking about the local
Speaker 1: water board, and you'll be looking to your buddy, what
Speaker 1: local waterboard? There's a waterboard. I didn't even know the
Speaker 1: waterboard was a thing. And then you start talking to
Speaker 1: people about it and you find out that it's a
Speaker 1: team of five people. They ran for it. Of course,
Speaker 1: about twelve people even voted in the election. And surprise, surprise,
Speaker 1: the five people who knew about the waterboard and ran
Speaker 1: for the waterboard, they weren't experts in water. They were
Speaker 1: dirty commies trying to seize positions of power inside of
Speaker 1: your local government. Go run for something. It doesn't have
Speaker 1: to be big and scary. I didn't tell you have
Speaker 1: to go be a senator or even a congressman. It
Speaker 1: doesn't have to be that. And it's not gonna be sexy.
Speaker 1: And you're gonna have to show up on Thursday night
Speaker 1: when you get home and all you want to do
Speaker 1: is eat your little Caesars or maybe take the old
Speaker 1: lady out for something nice and some red lobster, and
Speaker 1: you want to watch Matt Locke, and you would have relaxed.
Speaker 1: You're gonna have to go to some boring water board meeting.
Speaker 1: But that's where real power is held, and those are
Speaker 1: the people. Look look at La right now. Why didn't
Speaker 1: the brush get removed? Why what's up with the water?
Speaker 1: What the you dig into these problems? You know, we're
Speaker 1: all pointing fingers at the mayor, and I realized the
Speaker 1: buck stops with that idiot mayor Karen Bass. But the
Speaker 1: truth is the people who make these decisions, lots and
Speaker 1: lots and lots of them, they're not even at the
Speaker 1: city council level. They're not even at the mayoral level.
Speaker 1: It's at this board and that board, and it's the
Speaker 1: tree board, and it's the street board, and it's this
Speaker 1: Go take these positions of power back from the communists.
Speaker 1: The communists, take over all these positions, and we can
Speaker 1: win these elections because no one else shows up. Rally
Speaker 1: your friends, or if you're like Christy, you don't have
Speaker 1: any friends. Get your friends that, get your buddy to
Speaker 1: or I guess you wouldn't have a buddy if you
Speaker 1: don't have any friends. I guess that ruined the whole joke.
Speaker 1: Find some people to vote for you. Also, go get
Speaker 1: on some chalk. If you don't feel like you have
Speaker 1: the energy, ah Jesse, I don't feel like going out
Speaker 1: on Thursday night. That's because your tea levels are too low.
Speaker 1: You don't feel like going out on a Thursday night
Speaker 1: because you're low testosterone. That's why you don't have the focus.
Speaker 1: That's why you don't have the energy. That's why you're
Speaker 1: drinking a cup of coffee or four cups of coffee
Speaker 1: at three or four in the afternoon trying to get by.
Speaker 1: You don't have to live like that. Get your tea
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Speaker 1: he's right. Jesse Kelly. It is the Jesse Kelly Show.
Speaker 1: Final segment of it Jesse Kelly's Show. Reminding you you
Speaker 1: can email the show Jesse at Jesse kellyshow dot com.
Speaker 1: I'm not even going to bring up with Jewish. Producer
Speaker 1: Chris and producer Corey were just ranting about during the break.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm so mad right now. They were talking about
Speaker 1: HOA fees because you know, I was just talking about
Speaker 1: how you need to run for HOA and waterboard and
Speaker 1: all that other stuff. Here's the truth. I don't know
Speaker 1: what I pay for HOA because Bob handles that stuff.
Speaker 1: Now I want to know, but I don't want to know,
Speaker 1: and I never tell you. I got in trouble with
Speaker 1: the HOA one time when I live back in back
Speaker 1: in Tucson. So here was the deal. We had a backyard.
Speaker 1: It was not a big backyard, but it was a backyard.
Speaker 1: And behind our backyard was no one else's yard, and
Speaker 1: it wasn't it was a common area, but common area.
Speaker 1: It was just kind of some nasty weeds that nobody
Speaker 1: really maintained. And it led back to this little little ditch,
Speaker 1: this huge drainage ditch. So it wasn't the best location
Speaker 1: in the world I'd met, but that was right over
Speaker 1: our back fence. Well, I was mowing the lawn, just
Speaker 1: hand mower. I mowed my lawn and I have the
Speaker 1: bag I had one of the mowers with the baggye
Speaker 1: that collected the grass. So I did what any red
Speaker 1: blooded American would do, and I took the bag of
Speaker 1: grass and I put it in a garbage bag and
Speaker 1: I set it out front. Well, they were having all
Speaker 1: kinds of problems with waste management in the town at
Speaker 1: the time. They would come get my trash, they'd come
Speaker 1: get my recycling. They refused to take the grass clippings.
Speaker 1: And I'm yelling, what am I supposed to do with
Speaker 1: the grass clip? I have the grass clippings. What am
Speaker 1: I supposed to do with the grass clippings?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 1: Sorry, you're on your own? What ever? You what do
Speaker 1: you mean? You're on your own? So I said, okay,
Speaker 1: if that's how it's going to be, I would finish
Speaker 1: mowing the lawn and I'd take the bag off the
Speaker 1: mower and I would just walk over to my back fence.
Speaker 1: Nothing back. There were freaking weeds in a drainage ditch,
Speaker 1: and I just dump it over the back fence. Huh
Speaker 1: that big deal? Well, the ho A was famously a
Speaker 1: bunch of Nazis in this place. One day I get
Speaker 1: a letter. I get a letter from the HOA that
Speaker 1: they have observed piles of grass clippings behind my fence,
Speaker 1: and that they know I'm pouring the I'm doing the grass,
Speaker 1: I'm dumping my grass clippings back there, and that if
Speaker 1: I go don't go back and remove it, that they're
Speaker 1: going to find me. I think they threatened to find me.
Speaker 1: That's okay. Well, next time I mowed the lawn, took
Speaker 1: the bag of grass clippings, went right back to the fence,
Speaker 1: dumped the grass clippings over the top. Next time, grass
Speaker 1: clippings right off the top. Again. They said in a
Speaker 1: letter we know it was you. Still nothing. They make
Speaker 1: a phone call one day when I'm home, Hey, it's
Speaker 1: your ho AVV. I've we're here to address the grass
Speaker 1: clippings you're dumping over your back fence. So I completely
Speaker 1: I went forward. I went exactly like you should do
Speaker 1: if the FBI ever talks to you about anything. I said, well,
Speaker 1: wasn't me. And this lady, of course, was a lady,
Speaker 1: some feminist cat lady. On the other end of the line, sir,
Speaker 1: there are twelve piles of grass clippings right behind your fence.
Speaker 1: We know what you I said, Prove it wasn't me.
Speaker 1: I don't know who's doing that, and now she's getting frustrated.
Speaker 1: Well now I'm starting to laugh because she's getting more
Speaker 1: frustrated and more frustrated. She's just everyone knows it's me,
Speaker 1: and she needs me to admit that it's me before
Speaker 1: they can hand out a fine to me. But I
Speaker 1: know this too. It's not like someone that's secret video
Speaker 1: of me dumping the grass clippings back there. So I
Speaker 1: just kept going with it. Now, wasn't me, wasn't me?
Speaker 1: And finally I started having too much fun with it,
Speaker 1: and finally I told her, you know what you're with
Speaker 1: the hoa. I need you to find out who's dumping
Speaker 1: the grass clippings behind my fence. By the time I
Speaker 1: was done, she started screaming on the phone, and then
Speaker 1: I hung up on her, and then she started calling
Speaker 1: back and calling back, and I was laughing too hard.
Speaker 1: I couldn't answer the phone anymore. Oh gosh, that made
Speaker 1: me laugh. Jessie winking at someone is so underrated. I
Speaker 1: want to make it cool again. I think it's classy
Speaker 1: and really leaves an impression. Are you a smooth winker
Speaker 1: or an awkward winker? All right, I'm gonna tell you
Speaker 1: something right now, I'm an amazing winker. Hey, Chris Corey,
Speaker 1: look at this. Look at this. They're just so people
Speaker 1: don't think I'm lying. Am I a good winker? See
Speaker 1: see they're both shaking their head, but they're impressed. I
Speaker 1: can tell. I can tell deep down that they know. Look,
Speaker 1: that's the kind of wink. And I did not strain
Speaker 1: to mu Chris, I even did it. Did you hear that?
Speaker 1: When I did? I even did? I even throwing that? No, no,
Speaker 1: it's not covering up the strain that chicks love it.
Speaker 1: I do that to ob all the time. I shoot her.
Speaker 1: One of the little drives are crazy. I mean, she
Speaker 1: yells and rolls her eyes, but I can tell she's
Speaker 1: going nuts. Now, it's not what I did to the waitress, Chris.
Speaker 1: That was a little That was yesterday when I told
Speaker 1: that story. You know, if you want to know what
Speaker 1: Jewish producer Chris is talking about, you're gonna have to
Speaker 1: go download a podcasts which is available on iHeart, Spotify, iTunes.
Speaker 1: Look for everyone watching on the simulcast. Remember you can
Speaker 1: watch me do the radio show. You can the simulcast
Speaker 1: it on the first TV. I'm looking in the camera
Speaker 1: right now, Corey, Corey, I needed to make sure this
Speaker 1: is on the simulcast right now. Watch this? See that
Speaker 1: smooth as silk. Don't roll your eyes, Chris, you're just jealous. Chris?
Speaker 1: Can you can you wink? That's it? See Chris. Chris
Speaker 1: admits that he can't. Corey. Can you wink? You can't wink? Oh, Corey,
Speaker 1: you look like you look like you had a stroke.
Speaker 1: That doesn't count as a win. Are you okay? Hey, Chris?
Speaker 1: Call nine one one for Corey? Anyway? Do you want
Speaker 1: to learn more about history and the constitution and stuff?
Speaker 1: Everyone knows what Hillsdale College is. I'm not going to
Speaker 1: insult your intelligence. You know. They offer free online courses,
Speaker 1: more than forty free online courses. Constitution, the Book of
Speaker 1: Genesis fairly important. How about how much do you know
Speaker 1: about the ancient Christian Church? The rise and fall of
Speaker 1: the Roman Republican Roman Republic? You can get Hillsdale Information,
Speaker 1: Hillsdale Education free, Hillsdale dot edu slash jesse is where
Speaker 1: you go to enroll. There's no cost. Don't we all
Speaker 1: need to get a little bit more boned up on history?
Speaker 1: I'm signed up Hillsdale dot edu slash Jesse. You want
Speaker 1: to be smart enough to rub it in your friends
Speaker 1: faces because you know more than them. What other reason
Speaker 1: is there to gain wisdom like that? Killsdale dot Edu
Speaker 1: slash Jesson. And now here's a headline. Why oh you
Speaker 1: know you know the thing headlines we didn't get to.
Speaker 1: I am a smooth winker, Chris. And look at this.
Speaker 1: Look at this. I bet you didn't see this coming.
Speaker 1: You saw me wink before, right, I'm looking at the
Speaker 1: camera again. See that. Now check this out. Don't shake
Speaker 1: your head, Chris, both sides. I'm an ambi winker. I
Speaker 1: can do it both. Ambiwinker doesn't sound right. I wish
Speaker 1: i'd I wish i'd put that differently, but you understand
Speaker 1: exactly what I mean. Anyway, back to headlines, Sweden says
Speaker 1: Christmas tree needles are safe to eat. Everyone who's ever
Speaker 1: had gin knows that. Good guy post Malone gives Houston
Speaker 1: bartender and single mother the ultimate Christmas gift. Apparently he
Speaker 1: gave her a twenty thousand dollars tip. I was feeling
Speaker 1: pretty good about that fiver I floated at Applebee's the
Speaker 1: other day, But now apparently I've been Tommy topped. The
Speaker 1: US and Taliban talks continue on the detainees exchange. Yes,
Speaker 1: that's just absolutely wonderful that we are still sending gobs
Speaker 1: and gobs of our money in diplomatic talks with the Taliban. Anyway,
Speaker 1: we'll come back again tomorrow and have some fun, all right,
Speaker 1: that's all