WEBVTT - Fifteen Loads on a Dead Them's Chest 0:00:03.000 --> 0:00:06.720 Kira Knightly has the same speaking voice as Sean Connery, 0:00:07.480 --> 0:00:11.280 so it's like she's Sean Connery on HRT. It's like, 0:00:11.560 --> 0:00:22.720 you have no shunch, you have no decency. My timbers 0:00:23.280 --> 0:00:31.320 are shivering, My timbers shivering, my deck pooped, my boot strapped, 0:00:36.520 --> 0:00:45.000 blank wad mama. Okay, not that I'm so mad at that. 0:00:45.479 --> 0:00:48.600 Everyone grab an orange so you don't get scurvy. Because 0:00:48.640 --> 0:00:54.080 today we're talking all things pirates, specifically the iconic film 0:00:54.080 --> 0:00:57.440 franchise Pirates of the Caribbean, and we're gonna be talking 0:00:57.480 --> 0:01:02.080 all about Kira Knightley, Orlando Loom and like kind of 0:01:02.200 --> 0:01:05.560 Johnny Depp even though we don't support him obviously, and 0:01:05.560 --> 0:01:09.120 we're going to talk all about pirate culture adventure movies 0:01:09.160 --> 0:01:11.880 of the early two thousands and give you all of 0:01:11.880 --> 0:01:14.280 our opinions at hot takes, because this is like a 0:01:14.360 --> 0:01:17.760 Virgin the show where we give yesterday's pop culture today's takes. 0:01:17.880 --> 0:01:21.480 I'm ros damn you, and I'm Fran Toronto. Yes, I 0:01:21.520 --> 0:01:23.680 know we said that we were taking a break for 0:01:23.760 --> 0:01:27.120 two weeks, um, but then we decided that, you know, 0:01:27.200 --> 0:01:32.400 we wanted to go pirate around and pillage a little 0:01:32.400 --> 0:01:35.280 bit longer, just a little longer, So hang in there. 0:01:35.360 --> 0:01:38.840 So this week's episode will not have a news segment. 0:01:38.959 --> 0:01:42.319 That's fine, just like contemporary of them. Yeah, just go 0:01:42.400 --> 0:01:46.560 on Twitter and see what's going on. Yeah, and we'll 0:01:46.600 --> 0:01:50.040 be back with regular episode format sooner than you know 0:01:50.120 --> 0:01:55.080 it next week. And barring unforeseen circumstances, well, you know, 0:01:55.440 --> 0:01:57.680 let's make any promises we can't keep. Yeah, I mean, 0:01:57.960 --> 0:02:03.000 you know, yeah, our dean man on a dead them 0:02:03.360 --> 0:02:14.880 stressed fifteen loads on a dead thus stressed more like Rose. 0:02:15.400 --> 0:02:20.079 You have said, as you often say about many, many, 0:02:20.160 --> 0:02:26.760 many films, this is today to today. Shut up, shut up, 0:02:27.680 --> 0:02:31.280 you're so predicted. Today we are today. We are discussing 0:02:31.400 --> 0:02:35.880 day were the greatest movie ever created, ever made, According 0:02:35.919 --> 0:02:40.200 to Kay, the greatest movie. You know exactly what I 0:02:40.240 --> 0:02:42.520 was going to say, I know, who did I say 0:02:42.560 --> 0:02:46.240 a lot? That's something something we're talking about is the 0:02:46.280 --> 0:02:48.120 best movie ever made, the best you know what? You 0:02:48.160 --> 0:02:50.080 also say a lot of this. You know what, you 0:02:50.120 --> 0:02:53.480 also say a lot this clarification around the greatest movie 0:02:53.520 --> 0:02:58.360 ever the movie, the movie we are discussing today is 0:02:58.480 --> 0:03:02.640 legitimately in my list of my top ten films of 0:03:02.680 --> 0:03:05.720 all time. I know that I know that much as true. 0:03:05.760 --> 0:03:07.840 But that's not what you say. You say that this 0:03:07.919 --> 0:03:11.680 is the greatest film ever made. Yeah, well, like is 0:03:11.919 --> 0:03:14.080 you know, I wouldn't argue with well, like, Pirates of 0:03:14.120 --> 0:03:18.160 the Caribbean. Curse of the Black Pearl is better than 0:03:18.720 --> 0:03:21.800 Gone with the Wind, better than Citizen Kane, better than Casablanca. 0:03:22.280 --> 0:03:24.400 But I don't think anybody would argue with that, better 0:03:24.560 --> 0:03:30.960 than Titanic. Maybe all those movies are very I mean, okay, 0:03:31.120 --> 0:03:32.679 name a movie and I'll tell you those. Pirates of 0:03:32.720 --> 0:03:37.400 the Caribbean's better. Um Schindler's list. I knew you were 0:03:37.440 --> 0:03:42.560 inn Sationler's Lists of the Caribbean's Okay, twelve years of 0:03:42.600 --> 0:03:48.600 Slave better, I've never seen it. Pirates is the best 0:03:48.600 --> 0:03:51.400 Holocaust movie ever made, the best disaster movie ever made, 0:03:52.000 --> 0:03:55.120 the best social justice movie ever made, the best movie 0:03:55.120 --> 0:03:58.680 ever made about general conforming people. Truly. Okay, I want 0:03:58.680 --> 0:04:03.080 to be clear about some thing. We are talking about 0:04:03.160 --> 0:04:06.880 the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, but we are mostly 0:04:06.920 --> 0:04:09.280 talking about the first film, which is like kind of 0:04:09.320 --> 0:04:13.120 like the only film that I recognize. Wow, so you 0:04:13.160 --> 0:04:17.960 don't love that. I do like the second one, the 0:04:17.960 --> 0:04:20.839 fourth one, sucks. The fifth one we will not discuss. 0:04:21.160 --> 0:04:23.040 I don't even know there was a fifth one. Also, 0:04:23.080 --> 0:04:25.440 I want to give you know, the caveat that. I 0:04:25.480 --> 0:04:29.360 understand it's very complicated to talk about Johnny Depp in two. 0:04:30.040 --> 0:04:34.279 We do not support him, but this is his best performance. 0:04:34.320 --> 0:04:37.280 But this is, yeah, one of his best performances. You 0:04:37.279 --> 0:04:40.600 wouldn't say his best performance. What would be a contender 0:04:40.640 --> 0:04:46.520 for Johnny Edwards. I like acquieter Johnny depp performance, but 0:04:46.600 --> 0:04:48.520 that is a it's a great role. But you know, 0:04:48.680 --> 0:04:51.520 art from the artist, as we always say, not not 0:04:51.600 --> 0:04:54.480 what we're talking about Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp sucks, but 0:04:54.520 --> 0:04:56.719 we will be talking about him a lot. But but 0:04:56.839 --> 0:04:59.560 his art as an actor is I think, you know, 0:04:59.640 --> 0:05:03.160 chuckle lot Ross, you know, oh my god, I really 0:05:03.160 --> 0:05:06.200 want to watch a lot. I need someone to watch 0:05:06.360 --> 0:05:08.280 a lot with me. I can't watch alone. You want 0:05:08.279 --> 0:05:10.560 to watch I bring it up every time we hang out. 0:05:10.640 --> 0:05:14.440 Every time hang out or go on vacation, You're like, 0:05:14.560 --> 0:05:17.000 what do we woke a lot? Do you want to 0:05:17.000 --> 0:05:21.440 be bad? Like we could be like one? But I 0:05:21.480 --> 0:05:25.320 think that's actually happened when we were like we're okay, 0:05:25.360 --> 0:05:30.920 and you're like let's watch choke a lot. Yeah, okay, 0:05:31.000 --> 0:05:34.080 so let's just like go back here to talk about 0:05:35.000 --> 0:05:39.880 what are this is a very our generation movie. In fact, 0:05:39.960 --> 0:05:42.200 I would say that Pirates of the Caribbean is like 0:05:42.400 --> 0:05:47.600 one of the movies to define millennial early as culture 0:05:47.800 --> 0:05:52.560 and everything that would follow in action franchises and the 0:05:52.680 --> 0:05:54.920 care nightly of it all, in the Orlando bloom of 0:05:55.000 --> 0:05:57.919 it all. And honestly, like I do feel like it 0:05:58.040 --> 0:06:03.000 played a major part in was my uh I guess, 0:06:03.000 --> 0:06:05.240 like like most people growing up on Tumbler in the 0:06:05.240 --> 0:06:10.719 early odds, my obsession with nautical adventure culture and stories um, 0:06:10.960 --> 0:06:15.520 and I feel like that escapism that came with Pirates 0:06:15.680 --> 0:06:18.680 being at sea and all that jazz was something that 0:06:18.880 --> 0:06:22.279 has always been a part of my ethos. And you know, 0:06:22.400 --> 0:06:26.440 funnily enough, Pirates were never really a thing for me 0:06:26.560 --> 0:06:30.400 growing up except m a Treasure Island, which we will 0:06:30.680 --> 0:06:35.479 discuss later on in the episode. But the Pirates of 0:06:35.480 --> 0:06:38.520 the Caribbean ride at Disney is one of my favorite 0:06:38.520 --> 0:06:41.400 Disney rides. And we have to, you know, to put 0:06:41.400 --> 0:06:44.599 this woman context, Like, we have to talk about the 0:06:44.600 --> 0:06:47.599 fact that it is a movie that is based on 0:06:47.640 --> 0:06:50.600 a ride at a theme park, which I did not know. 0:06:50.880 --> 0:06:53.239 You broke that news to me. I had no idea. 0:06:53.480 --> 0:06:56.120 Crazy that you didn't know that I had never been 0:06:56.160 --> 0:06:59.200 to disney Land World. I had I had like only 0:06:59.240 --> 0:07:01.520 as a kid, like as like a five or six 0:07:01.600 --> 0:07:03.359 year old, had I been And I couldn't go on 0:07:03.400 --> 0:07:06.000 this scary ride. So I had no idea. And yeah, 0:07:06.080 --> 0:07:09.400 parts of the so parts of the Caribbean the ride is, um, 0:07:09.640 --> 0:07:13.000 what are um? You know? Our theme park expert Matt 0:07:13.080 --> 0:07:16.680 Rogers would call it dark ride, UM where you're like 0:07:16.880 --> 0:07:22.040 in a moving vehicle and going through like different kind 0:07:22.040 --> 0:07:26.480 of dioramas and like little scene jump scares. And the 0:07:26.560 --> 0:07:31.320 ride opened in nineteen seven and the movie sixty seven. 0:07:31.720 --> 0:07:34.720 The film premiered in two thousand three, So it took 0:07:34.720 --> 0:07:42.560 about thirty five years to make this movie. Um, And 0:07:42.600 --> 0:07:45.920 where were we culturally when Pirates of the Caribbean came out? 0:07:45.920 --> 0:07:48.480 So I guess like this is the era of the 0:07:48.480 --> 0:07:55.480 Harry Potter movies coming out, rampant, big franchises, big. This 0:07:55.640 --> 0:08:00.200 was definitely the era of kind of the the boom 0:08:00.280 --> 0:08:07.240 in blockbuster movie franchises, fantasies specifically right like Chronicles and 0:08:07.320 --> 0:08:09.960 Narnia Skyrocket and up like, I mean they saw a 0:08:10.000 --> 0:08:11.720 Lord of the Rings, they were like, get Chronicles a 0:08:11.800 --> 0:08:16.000 Narnia out there. Immediately. Disney probably wanted to get in 0:08:16.080 --> 0:08:18.720 on the action in some way, and so they looked 0:08:18.720 --> 0:08:20.880 at their existing I P. And we're like, what can 0:08:20.920 --> 0:08:23.480 we adopt as we are as they are want to do? 0:08:23.560 --> 0:08:26.240 You know? Every quarter they're like, let's look at old 0:08:26.240 --> 0:08:28.360 things we've already done. And I don't think this thing 0:08:28.640 --> 0:08:32.080 of adapting a theme park attraction into a film had 0:08:32.120 --> 0:08:36.559 ever been done before. I wonder like what came first, 0:08:36.600 --> 0:08:39.000 the chicken or the egg? I wonder if they were like, oh, 0:08:39.080 --> 0:08:41.280 what if we did a Pirates movie? What if it's 0:08:41.320 --> 0:08:45.240 based on our really popular ride, or if they were like, 0:08:45.480 --> 0:08:47.640 what if we make a movie out of a ride, 0:08:47.840 --> 0:08:53.600 Let's do a Pirate movie. So who knows, but Pirates 0:08:53.640 --> 0:08:56.520 of the Caribbean The Curse of the Black Pearl is, 0:08:57.480 --> 0:09:01.880 to my mind, a perfect film. M H. I agreed. 0:09:01.960 --> 0:09:04.680 I actually agree it is a perfect film. And um, 0:09:04.720 --> 0:09:08.600 it cannot be understated that it is a staple in 0:09:08.800 --> 0:09:14.439 bisexual culture, specifically because if because if you're by you 0:09:14.559 --> 0:09:17.680 have no choice but to be attracted to both Orlando 0:09:17.720 --> 0:09:21.000 Bloom and care Knightley as I was and still am 0:09:21.240 --> 0:09:24.280 as I wasn't still am. I mean, Orlando Bloom is 0:09:24.320 --> 0:09:28.400 aging so well. I mean, he looks so good right now, 0:09:28.400 --> 0:09:33.080 and Katy Perry is a lucky man um woman. Oh 0:09:33.080 --> 0:09:40.079 my god, Katy Woman. Like, yeah, Orlando Bloom looks just 0:09:40.160 --> 0:09:42.480 as good in this movie as he does, know and 0:09:42.559 --> 0:09:47.280 like in very different ways obviously, Like in this movie 0:09:47.360 --> 0:09:51.800 he's giving swashbuckling waif vibes and now he's like, that's 0:09:51.800 --> 0:09:55.200 a man, Marie, and it's all working for me. I 0:09:55.240 --> 0:09:57.800 really feel like he is like one of the last 0:09:58.160 --> 0:10:01.720 great heart throbs of the Lady nineties early ads, like 0:10:01.960 --> 0:10:04.200 because you have the one to punch of this and 0:10:04.280 --> 0:10:08.640 Lord of the Rings kind of at the same time. Yeah, 0:10:08.720 --> 0:10:12.800 And honestly, like heart because of social media, like everyone's 0:10:12.800 --> 0:10:14.800 a heartthrob now and therefore no one is, so we 0:10:14.840 --> 0:10:19.200 don't have that kind of concentration around that. The most 0:10:19.320 --> 0:10:22.640 suit point. I actually I've been seeing a lot of 0:10:22.640 --> 0:10:28.559 conversation about that in terms of fashion and like trends, 0:10:28.720 --> 0:10:31.439 about how everything is trending right now, so that means 0:10:31.520 --> 0:10:34.320 nothing is trending, And I think you're right and that 0:10:34.400 --> 0:10:39.080 it applies to people too, and that like, you know, 0:10:39.200 --> 0:10:41.960 we obviously they're still like we have like the Twitter 0:10:42.000 --> 0:10:44.280 white boy of the months, like currently it's that guy 0:10:44.400 --> 0:10:50.480 from the Bear right right, But those are not It's 0:10:50.559 --> 0:10:55.440 not the same level. Orlando Bloom was an institution in 0:10:55.520 --> 0:10:58.720 pop culture in a way that like men simply are 0:10:58.760 --> 0:11:02.520 not now. I think maybe someone now, Harry Styles comes close, 0:11:02.640 --> 0:11:06.360 But like I was just about to say, I feel, yeah, 0:11:06.400 --> 0:11:08.840 like they don't make them like the Jonathan Taylor Thomas 0:11:08.920 --> 0:11:13.240 is of the world anymore. And I you know, I 0:11:13.280 --> 0:11:19.040 think Orlando was like the direct successor to Leomania. Yeah, 0:11:19.120 --> 0:11:22.199 I wonder. I do agree that Harry Styles is the 0:11:22.280 --> 0:11:26.560 only person in my mind that is reminiscent of like 0:11:26.679 --> 0:11:29.480 you know, Tiger Beat era heartthrob culture. The only one, 0:11:29.640 --> 0:11:30.840 the only the one I could think of was like 0:11:30.840 --> 0:11:34.000 Shawn Mendez. But he feels I mean, I just don't 0:11:34.040 --> 0:11:36.160 think there's anything sexy about him at all. And I 0:11:36.200 --> 0:11:39.920 also don't think that he has the same Yeah, I 0:11:39.960 --> 0:11:42.200 don't think he has the same appeal either. Um, but 0:11:42.280 --> 0:11:45.040 Harry still has exactly what we look for in a 0:11:45.120 --> 0:11:48.960 heartthrob um. And Orlando, I mean, this is his legacy 0:11:49.000 --> 0:11:50.800 and I want him to be in more movies like 0:11:51.280 --> 0:11:54.920 where did He Go? Why he? He actually was in 0:11:55.120 --> 0:12:01.200 this Amazon series called Carnival. Oh, I want to say, 0:12:01.760 --> 0:12:06.480 Miss Carney. No, it's him and Kara Delavine Jumped scare 0:12:07.120 --> 0:12:11.120 Um and it's a fantasy show where Kara Delavine's a 0:12:11.200 --> 0:12:17.600 fairy um and he's like a detected It's it was 0:12:17.640 --> 0:12:20.720 actually pretty good. I I liked it, but I don't 0:12:20.760 --> 0:12:24.080 think it's I think it was renewed, but I doubt 0:12:24.120 --> 0:12:32.680 a second season is getting made. I do want to say, 0:12:32.720 --> 0:12:35.120 like I instantly loved this movie when it came out, 0:12:35.240 --> 0:12:37.800 and like loved seeing it in theaters. But where this 0:12:37.840 --> 0:12:41.840 movie really sunk its teeth into me was when it 0:12:41.880 --> 0:12:47.680 came out on DVD, because I this is something sick 0:12:47.760 --> 0:12:52.240 and twisted that I did I And I think I 0:12:52.320 --> 0:12:54.480 talked about this before that, like when when I was 0:12:54.520 --> 0:12:56.920 a teenager, because this is kind of like how I 0:12:57.000 --> 0:12:59.559 was conditioned. Like my mom always fell asleep with the 0:12:59.600 --> 0:13:02.480 TV on, so like that's kind of how I used 0:13:02.520 --> 0:13:05.760 to fall asleep when I was a teenager too, And 0:13:05.800 --> 0:13:09.800 like I've suffered like a life not long battle with 0:13:09.960 --> 0:13:12.920 insomnia and so like having the TV on was just 0:13:13.000 --> 0:13:16.760 kind of like a distraction, and for I would say 0:13:16.800 --> 0:13:20.560 probably like a year, I fell asleep with Pirates of 0:13:20.559 --> 0:13:26.440 the Caribbean on every night, and not just Pirates of 0:13:26.440 --> 0:13:33.600 the Caribbean, but specifically the DVD commentary track with with 0:13:33.920 --> 0:13:41.640 herea Nightly and the guy who plays Norrington Jack Davenport, 0:13:41.840 --> 0:13:47.160 who I'm pretty sure is gay, I r L maybe 0:13:47.400 --> 0:13:49.320 or at least no, you know what, it's not that 0:13:49.360 --> 0:13:53.880 he's gay, it's that he played, which I found out 0:13:53.960 --> 0:13:57.120 later when I finally watched it, Matt Damon's love interest 0:13:57.160 --> 0:13:59.040 in the talented Mr Ripley, so he has kind of 0:13:59.040 --> 0:14:02.760 a gay vibe, and he and Kira in this DVD 0:14:02.840 --> 0:14:06.200 commentary track, which like, I need to find some way 0:14:06.280 --> 0:14:08.720 to watch it with that again because like obviously I 0:14:08.720 --> 0:14:11.240 don't have DVDs. I like, I don't have a disk 0:14:11.320 --> 0:14:14.640 drive anywhere, but he and Kira just have this very 0:14:14.679 --> 0:14:18.280 really like really good banter on this commentary track, and 0:14:18.320 --> 0:14:20.360 it was so soothing. I guess it was kind of 0:14:20.400 --> 0:14:22.320 like listening to a podcast in a way I was 0:14:22.360 --> 0:14:24.840 gonna I was just about to say, it's very like 0:14:24.880 --> 0:14:27.160 a SMR podcast. A lot of people use podcast to 0:14:27.200 --> 0:14:29.200 fall asleep these days because you know, they're so bar 0:14:29.360 --> 0:14:32.720 I did last night r I P DVD commentary like, 0:14:32.840 --> 0:14:35.880 oh my god, he was married to Michelle Gomez, so 0:14:36.040 --> 0:14:41.680 he wasn't gay, not gay allegedly I missed DVD commentary. 0:14:41.960 --> 0:14:44.640 I I think, I you know, in the long run, 0:14:44.680 --> 0:14:47.440 I'm like, you know, art doesn't need to be It's 0:14:47.520 --> 0:14:50.720 kind of distracting. It might not be necessarily true to 0:14:50.720 --> 0:14:52.880 the art to like have all that context around it. 0:14:52.880 --> 0:14:54.800 It's kind of like cheating to me. But I do 0:14:54.920 --> 0:14:58.080 think that we should as a culture find a way 0:14:58.120 --> 0:15:01.320 to do a version of that in contemporary times. I'm 0:15:01.400 --> 0:15:05.320 thinking about the well podcasts do that, Like now there's 0:15:05.360 --> 0:15:09.640 this whole boom right now of the stars of old 0:15:09.680 --> 0:15:13.640 TV shows going back and rewatching them and doing podcast 0:15:13.680 --> 0:15:16.880 episodes about them or movies like two of the Twilight 0:15:16.960 --> 0:15:20.440 stars have a podcast where they talk about Twilight. Um, 0:15:20.480 --> 0:15:22.880 I know they're like One Tree Hill. Isn't there a 0:15:22.920 --> 0:15:27.600 Redcap podcast that you've talked about before? That Sophia book? Anyways, 0:15:27.640 --> 0:15:32.000 back to the Kira of it all. She is seventeen 0:15:33.040 --> 0:15:35.080 when she was she was seventeen when she was Cash. 0:15:35.160 --> 0:15:39.440 She's eighteen in this film. She looks thirty four. Like 0:15:39.520 --> 0:15:44.320 she she is. Look I'm not sure she has always 0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:46.560 looked yes, I'm not saying that as an insult. She 0:15:46.640 --> 0:15:51.000 has always looked like a full grown woman. It's so 0:15:51.160 --> 0:15:54.800 jarring to me to learn that she was eighteen. Um, 0:15:54.840 --> 0:16:00.760 but she in this and she's good. She's perfect for 0:16:00.800 --> 0:16:04.800 the genre. She is Queen of Courset's she is and 0:16:04.840 --> 0:16:07.640 I love how much is like part of the plot 0:16:08.120 --> 0:16:10.520 because the whole reason that she faints and falls into 0:16:10.560 --> 0:16:14.240 the ocean and like jump starts the plot of the 0:16:14.240 --> 0:16:17.480 movie is because of corset is too tight. We like 0:16:17.520 --> 0:16:24.040 a virgin, love any corset, poline. My favorite sequence in 0:16:24.080 --> 0:16:28.480 the film is, I mean, obviously it's are you best 0:16:28.480 --> 0:16:30.880 to start believing in ghost stories? You're in one? Like 0:16:31.000 --> 0:16:34.200 that whole scene where she's like having dinner with Barbosa 0:16:34.320 --> 0:16:36.680 and then she runs out and sees the pirates, Like 0:16:36.720 --> 0:16:40.560 turning in the moonlight is the best part of the movie, 0:16:40.640 --> 0:16:45.440 and like it gives me chills every time the graphics 0:16:45.480 --> 0:16:50.120 at the time, like I was terrified. Also the scene 0:16:50.120 --> 0:16:52.240 where they I think towards the end of the movie 0:16:52.520 --> 0:16:55.480 where they're like sneaking up on the like armada and 0:16:55.520 --> 0:16:59.120 so they're walking on the ocean floor at Skeletons so good, 0:17:00.160 --> 0:17:05.320 so compelling, so creative cinematic invention, and like one of 0:17:05.359 --> 0:17:09.600 my favorite sequences is um the first sword fight between 0:17:09.840 --> 0:17:13.679 Orlando and Captain Jack Sparrow in the Blacksmith's kind of 0:17:13.720 --> 0:17:18.120 like Barn. It is such a well choreographed fight. It's 0:17:18.160 --> 0:17:20.959 like so in the canon of like you know that 0:17:21.080 --> 0:17:24.520 kind of action movie, and damn, it's just like I 0:17:24.600 --> 0:17:28.359 kind of I mean, it's almost like I think a 0:17:28.359 --> 0:17:32.760 lot about like what happened to action movies because they 0:17:32.800 --> 0:17:37.000 are every summer, the blockbusters that we go out to see, 0:17:37.119 --> 0:17:39.359 and yet every time I walk out of the theater 0:17:39.440 --> 0:17:42.040 of an action movie, with some exceptions, like something like 0:17:42.119 --> 0:17:45.280 everything everywhere all at once, it's like I am really 0:17:45.359 --> 0:17:50.199 desensitized to the action. I'm exhausted by the repetitiveness or 0:17:50.240 --> 0:17:54.480 the formulaic nature of actions, especially if they come from 0:17:54.920 --> 0:17:58.280 the m c u I, and like there's no it's 0:17:58.320 --> 0:18:03.239 there's no way to track things, and it all just 0:18:03.320 --> 0:18:08.800 becomes this sort of like like splat of of things 0:18:08.840 --> 0:18:11.160 going on on the screen and none of it has 0:18:11.280 --> 0:18:15.080 any like weight or like there's no like tactle nous 0:18:15.240 --> 0:18:19.480 to it, and so seeing people like real people fighting 0:18:19.480 --> 0:18:21.639 with swords. Like there is just something I think that 0:18:21.680 --> 0:18:26.480 will always be more compelling than the biggest you know 0:18:26.680 --> 0:18:29.840 c g I fight scene because like the you know, 0:18:29.880 --> 0:18:33.040 the end of Avengers end game is just like all 0:18:33.240 --> 0:18:35.560 green screen, and so because of that, it just like 0:18:36.520 --> 0:18:39.720 it's so easy to zone out during it because it 0:18:39.760 --> 0:18:42.639 almost has this like hypnotic quality, like it's like playing 0:18:42.720 --> 0:18:45.960 video game. Yeah. And something else is like a lot 0:18:45.960 --> 0:18:48.800 of action movies these days are all based on you 0:18:48.800 --> 0:18:52.679 know existing I P and you know that's the Pirates 0:18:52.680 --> 0:18:55.920 of the Caribbean. Well, I was gonna say it's usually 0:18:56.000 --> 0:18:58.320 like based on another movie, like a movie that came 0:18:58.320 --> 0:19:00.680 out ten years ago, or another TV show or what ever. Um, 0:19:00.720 --> 0:19:06.000 but because they had to fully fabricate a plot, characters 0:19:06.119 --> 0:19:08.760 like set up, it is an original film, you know 0:19:08.840 --> 0:19:12.359 what I mean. And there the ride like there's a 0:19:12.359 --> 0:19:15.280 little there's a little Easter eggs, but you know, they 0:19:15.359 --> 0:19:19.480 invented this story and it's actually like a really interesting 0:19:19.600 --> 0:19:22.800 compelling story of you know, like the stolen gold and 0:19:22.880 --> 0:19:25.600 the curse and like you know they have to get 0:19:25.680 --> 0:19:28.360 the like you know that Orlando is like the son 0:19:28.400 --> 0:19:32.359 of a pirate, and um, it's I think it's just 0:19:32.600 --> 0:19:37.080 such a it's such a good story. It's like very 0:19:37.119 --> 0:19:43.880 simple but twisty and funny and scary and spooky, spooky, 0:19:43.880 --> 0:19:49.760 spooky spook. They're all they actually should be. These pirates 0:19:49.760 --> 0:19:53.040 should should find, should find support ed, durry, it's homeless, 0:19:53.040 --> 0:19:57.280 not toothless charity events. Um, there's some gay representation in 0:19:57.280 --> 0:20:00.320 the movie. And of course I'm talking about pin Tell 0:20:00.400 --> 0:20:03.560 and Righetti. Who are the two pirates who like very 0:20:03.640 --> 0:20:09.720 obviously our boyfriends, you know I do. Don't they become 0:20:09.800 --> 0:20:11.920 gay and like the third one or something like that. 0:20:11.960 --> 0:20:15.680 Disney would never let them happen. Um, but well, I 0:20:15.720 --> 0:20:19.240 don't know what they to me, they are queer icons, Okay, yeah, 0:20:19.400 --> 0:20:22.120 I mean honestly, any any time there are two male 0:20:22.240 --> 0:20:24.560 characters in a film that are standing next to each 0:20:24.560 --> 0:20:26.639 other and talking, we we as an audience, have no 0:20:26.760 --> 0:20:29.959 choice but to presume them, especially if they're pirates, like 0:20:30.040 --> 0:20:33.400 but pirates, yeah, and like back in the day, like 0:20:33.600 --> 0:20:37.040 I don't know, like it's it's c law, maritime law. Well, 0:20:37.119 --> 0:20:39.440 pirates do whatever the funk they will, Like I have read, 0:20:39.800 --> 0:20:43.960 I have read enough pirate fan fiction to know that 0:20:44.080 --> 0:20:48.639 women were not allowed on boats because like superstition. I 0:20:48.680 --> 0:20:52.600 guess like they explore that in in the film. They do. 0:20:53.160 --> 0:20:56.639 And because of that, obviously the pirates were fucking and sucking. 0:20:57.920 --> 0:21:01.240 Oh yeah, I mean that's the only outlet they I mean, 0:21:01.760 --> 0:21:05.600 now I'm thinking once again of those teeth. Yeah, well, 0:21:05.600 --> 0:21:09.000 because once you lose enough teeth, you know you are 0:21:09.080 --> 0:21:15.320 able to better gum up a dick, not come up 0:21:17.400 --> 0:21:25.439 those gums along Phoeie. Phoeie's losing it. Also, just like 0:21:25.600 --> 0:21:33.040 im like, imagine the nasty nastiness of like having anal sex, 0:21:33.520 --> 0:21:36.280 like when you've been at sea for six months. And 0:21:36.800 --> 0:21:39.440 here's the thing. All these girls got gang green. All 0:21:39.480 --> 0:21:44.200 these girls got scurvy, they've heard, they've got fleas, they've 0:21:44.240 --> 0:21:50.600 got lice, they've got dreads. They're white people with dreadlocks. Inappropriate. 0:21:51.160 --> 0:21:55.000 Um it is. It is just it does not up. 0:21:57.520 --> 0:22:01.160 You go into, you go in from it. Piss. There 0:22:01.280 --> 0:22:05.199 is a thin layer of brine piss. And this is 0:22:05.359 --> 0:22:08.720 an errand and chip residue. This is an era where 0:22:08.720 --> 0:22:13.360 people who lived on land we're only bathing like once 0:22:13.760 --> 0:22:17.959 a sea then, so imagine what people at sea without 0:22:18.000 --> 0:22:36.080 access to running water we're doing. Okay, if you were 0:22:36.200 --> 0:22:39.199 on a ship rose, Like, what what role do you 0:22:39.240 --> 0:22:42.800 think you would have liked? Are you looking on the captain? 0:22:43.480 --> 0:22:47.080 Do you really think, yeah, that's I'm either the captain 0:22:47.200 --> 0:22:49.399 or I'm dead. You wouldn't want to be like you 0:22:49.440 --> 0:22:54.879 know first, you wouldn't. You wouldn't you wouldn't want to 0:22:54.880 --> 0:22:58.560 be the coach. No, No, I'm management. I am management. 0:22:58.640 --> 0:23:01.760 I'm white collar. I I don't know. I I feel 0:23:01.760 --> 0:23:05.159 like I was really Uh, I was really obsessed with 0:23:05.160 --> 0:23:08.960 like nautical culture as a kid or not as a kid. Yeah, 0:23:09.040 --> 0:23:11.440 Like I mean my first tattoo is is like this 0:23:11.480 --> 0:23:15.359 like nautical phrase hold fast. Um. Like I, I, you know, 0:23:15.400 --> 0:23:17.919 wrote an entire novel that was like a queer nautical 0:23:17.920 --> 0:23:22.160 adventure novel. I wrote my senior year thesis in college 0:23:22.200 --> 0:23:25.040 about the inclusion of gay characters and adventure narratives and 0:23:25.080 --> 0:23:28.280 talked a lot about nautical adventures. Like I was a 0:23:28.359 --> 0:23:30.440 stand and I I used to tell people that Moby 0:23:30.480 --> 0:23:32.840 Dick was like my favorite book. Um, even though it 0:23:32.880 --> 0:23:35.960 wasn't that well, no one should read that book. That 0:23:36.000 --> 0:23:39.840 book needed an editor, and it's actually says a lot 0:23:39.920 --> 0:23:42.119 about um. The fact that like I think one of 0:23:42.160 --> 0:23:45.000 the only people that really reviewed it was his like 0:23:45.160 --> 0:23:49.399 kind of Herman Melville's like boy crush, Nathaniel Hawthorne and 0:23:49.480 --> 0:23:52.119 you I mean talk about second and fucking those girls 0:23:52.119 --> 0:23:55.040 were going at it. But you know that, like you 0:23:55.160 --> 0:24:01.240 know that Herman Melville like gave this like yeah, gay 0:24:01.600 --> 0:24:05.280 Herman Melville. Okay, this sounds a little bit too much 0:24:05.320 --> 0:24:08.840 like brand Y Melville. I don't know, You've got a 0:24:08.880 --> 0:24:11.680 lot of l's in that name. He must be gay. Um, yeah, 0:24:11.720 --> 0:24:15.200 I feel like Herman you know, handed this nine page 0:24:15.240 --> 0:24:18.440 manuscript to his crush and was like do you like 0:24:18.640 --> 0:24:21.320 get you know what I mean? Like and Nathaniel Hoffin 0:24:21.440 --> 0:24:24.280 was like sure, like whatever, and then he like published, 0:24:24.320 --> 0:24:28.640 like what are passages upon passages upon passages that are 0:24:28.680 --> 0:24:34.800 basically like marine biology textbooks, like entire paragraphs about whale 0:24:34.880 --> 0:24:38.840 semen and making it into candles like she needed an editor. 0:24:39.359 --> 0:24:43.440 The kid I really wanted to be a marine biologist. 0:24:44.320 --> 0:24:47.200 Every kid wanted to be a marine biology You were 0:24:47.240 --> 0:24:51.359 you like obsessed with the ocean as a child, Yes, 0:24:51.560 --> 0:24:54.400 I think my notven though you were landlocked. Even though 0:24:54.400 --> 0:24:57.560 I was landlocked, I was obsessed with the ocean. Um. 0:24:57.600 --> 0:25:00.800 But now in present day, the d see is one 0:25:00.800 --> 0:25:03.040 of my greatest fear mine too. The deep sea in 0:25:03.080 --> 0:25:07.480 outer space, I don't think, and honestly, the ocean is scarier. 0:25:07.640 --> 0:25:11.800 I don't think there's anything in the known universe as 0:25:11.800 --> 0:25:15.480 scary as the ocean because it's not known, and also 0:25:15.600 --> 0:25:18.679 it's very close to us. It's right there outer space, 0:25:19.080 --> 0:25:23.399 very far away. Famously, are you gonna get there? How 0:25:23.440 --> 0:25:25.320 are you gonna get I don't have to worry about 0:25:26.040 --> 0:25:29.159 you speak of, you know, but exactly could literally go 0:25:29.280 --> 0:25:32.119 fall into the ocean. Yeah, if if you want to 0:25:32.160 --> 0:25:35.080 threaten me, Uh, Mama, you're hundreds of years away. I'm 0:25:35.080 --> 0:25:36.560 going to be dead by the time you get here, 0:25:36.560 --> 0:25:38.919 and this planet will be destroyed. Second of all. But 0:25:39.000 --> 0:25:41.680