WEBVTT - A huge problem in the house 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:02.280 People are addicted to their phones, people are addicted to 0:00:02.759 --> 0:00:06.480 social media. This is a problem in every house. I 0:00:06.559 --> 0:00:11.280 don't know many people in my life that say, I'm 0:00:11.320 --> 0:00:14.560 never on my phone. I never, I'm just don't ever 0:00:14.640 --> 0:00:28.760 get on my phone. Everyone is hey, guys, what's up. 0:00:28.840 --> 0:00:33.919 Welcome to the podcast. This is episode ninety eight. So 0:00:34.040 --> 0:00:38.000 excited to bring you very soon episode one hundred, which 0:00:38.120 --> 0:00:42.720 I've actually full disclosure, I've already recorded it. I've brought 0:00:42.720 --> 0:00:45.960 in some of my great buddies, some of the regulars 0:00:46.120 --> 0:00:48.520 that have been on this podcast, and we came together. 0:00:48.520 --> 0:00:51.519 I had to film it before and had to mix 0:00:51.600 --> 0:00:54.520 up the order a little bit because we have this 0:00:54.560 --> 0:00:57.280 baby coming. In fact, by the time you listen to 0:00:57.320 --> 0:01:03.320 this podcast on Monday, we will have already had it, 0:01:03.440 --> 0:01:06.080 or there was a complication or I don't know. I 0:01:06.120 --> 0:01:07.959 don't know, I don't know the outcome. All I know 0:01:08.160 --> 0:01:10.960 is I'm doing this podcast by myself today. I'm gonna 0:01:11.000 --> 0:01:15.559 be the only one today because literally tomorrow morning, Amber 0:01:15.560 --> 0:01:18.479 and I are going to the hospital to deliver little 0:01:18.520 --> 0:01:24.160 baby Mavericks. So given this to you solo and with 0:01:24.200 --> 0:01:26.360 a lot of anticipation going on in my head. So 0:01:26.400 --> 0:01:28.479 as I as I go through this. As I roll 0:01:28.520 --> 0:01:32.600 through this episode, I'm gonna have a little heightened anticipation 0:01:32.840 --> 0:01:35.000 on what's going to happen to me tomorrow. I don't 0:01:35.000 --> 0:01:37.600 know how that's gonna affect the way this podcast goes, 0:01:37.680 --> 0:01:41.080 or how it's gonna affect the way that I answer 0:01:41.160 --> 0:01:44.440 these questions. If you're new to this podcast, I answer 0:01:44.600 --> 0:01:48.040 your questions. Usually I have guests with me. Sometimes I'm solo, 0:01:48.760 --> 0:01:54.320 and you email your questions to Grainger Smith Podcast at 0:01:54.360 --> 0:01:58.280 gmail dot com Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Ask 0:01:58.360 --> 0:02:02.240 me anything, ask my guests anything, and we roll through 0:02:02.280 --> 0:02:04.440 it as if we're sitting in the cab of a 0:02:04.480 --> 0:02:08.680 truck sitting around a campfire, and you just say, hey, man, 0:02:09.280 --> 0:02:11.000 you matter. If I ask you something, something I've been 0:02:11.040 --> 0:02:14.840 thinking about. It could be about life or love or 0:02:15.120 --> 0:02:20.600 music or hard times or good times, or your boss 0:02:20.680 --> 0:02:24.000 or your career, your relationship, whatever it might be, we 0:02:24.080 --> 0:02:26.639 get into it right here on this podcast. I love it, 0:02:27.000 --> 0:02:32.200 and I'm so blessed to have had this many episodes. 0:02:33.120 --> 0:02:36.480 That means that I did those many I did so 0:02:36.520 --> 0:02:38.800 many episodes because you guys kept listening enough for me 0:02:38.840 --> 0:02:42.600 to want to do more, and every day I look, 0:02:42.680 --> 0:02:46.280 I don't. Every time I look at the ranking of 0:02:46.280 --> 0:02:51.440 this podcast, it's usually really high on the all music 0:02:51.560 --> 0:02:56.400 podcast like it's sometimes it sits around the top twenty 0:02:56.960 --> 0:02:59.960 of all genres of all music podcast, which is blow 0:03:00.200 --> 0:03:04.520 me away. And I'm very I'm just very blessed to 0:03:04.840 --> 0:03:07.520 have this kind of platform. And and that's a testament 0:03:07.520 --> 0:03:09.919 to you guys that listen. If you're if you're listening 0:03:09.919 --> 0:03:12.600 on the way to your work, or or you're listening 0:03:12.639 --> 0:03:15.079 at home, or you're over the road trucker, or you're 0:03:15.520 --> 0:03:18.160 a police officer in your in your car, I know, 0:03:18.880 --> 0:03:21.720 there's all different people that are listening to this. And 0:03:21.760 --> 0:03:24.040 there's also all different formats. I know people listen on 0:03:24.120 --> 0:03:29.960 Apple or Spotify or YouTube, anywhere you could find this podcast. 0:03:30.080 --> 0:03:33.160 There's different people listening on different platforms. So shout out 0:03:33.200 --> 0:03:34.960 to all you guys. If you are on Apple, by 0:03:34.960 --> 0:03:38.440 the way, go ahead, you could. You could rate this podcast, 0:03:38.480 --> 0:03:40.800 and you can give me a comment that helps me 0:03:41.280 --> 0:03:43.680 to kind of get a pulse on what you're thinking. 0:03:43.760 --> 0:03:46.600 So yeah, I'm going to jump right in here to 0:03:47.480 --> 0:03:51.160 question number one. It says, Hey Granger, I'm Matthew. I'm 0:03:51.160 --> 0:03:54.560 from enom Claude Washington. I think that's how you say it, guys, 0:03:54.720 --> 0:03:57.920 enom Claude Washington, are you going to do another live album? 0:03:58.040 --> 0:03:59.720 I love your podcast and your music. I just want 0:03:59.720 --> 0:04:02.680 to say thanks and for you and your family and 0:04:02.720 --> 0:04:06.160 your band. I appreciate you, Matthew, thank you for writing. 0:04:06.360 --> 0:04:09.200 I love this question. I love that we might do. 0:04:09.440 --> 0:04:10.880 First of all, I love that you said another one, 0:04:10.880 --> 0:04:12.920 because we do have a live album. It's called Live 0:04:12.960 --> 0:04:15.520 at the Chicken. It came out I believe in two 0:04:15.520 --> 0:04:22.520 thousand and ten something like that, ten eleven, something somewhere 0:04:22.520 --> 0:04:26.719 around there. And I guarantee you, Matthew, we will do 0:04:26.839 --> 0:04:29.719 another one. I don't exactly know when, but I would think. 0:04:30.080 --> 0:04:32.880 Actually texted my brother recently, I said, hey, man, we 0:04:32.920 --> 0:04:35.840 should do another live album. So the question to you, 0:04:35.880 --> 0:04:38.120 guys is, and which you can comment if you're on 0:04:38.640 --> 0:04:41.560 iTunes or YouTube or any one of these formats that 0:04:41.600 --> 0:04:46.000 has a comment section, what is a good venue where 0:04:46.000 --> 0:04:49.320 we should record the next live album? It has to 0:04:49.360 --> 0:04:55.920 be vibe and cool and different, good acoustics, great crowd. 0:04:57.480 --> 0:05:00.120 Where should we do that? Be thinking? Okay, thinking and 0:05:00.240 --> 0:05:02.919 go to my socials and let me know if you 0:05:02.920 --> 0:05:04.920 can give me an idea and I'll be thinking in 0:05:04.960 --> 0:05:07.440 the meantime. But yeah, thank you for writing, Matthew. I 0:05:07.440 --> 0:05:10.200 appreciate your brother. Shout out to Washington too. By the way, 0:05:10.240 --> 0:05:13.440 we're about to head out there and do a bunch 0:05:13.480 --> 0:05:16.040 of shows coming up really soon, so we'll see you 0:05:16.080 --> 0:05:21.600 guys in the fall. Next question, another music related question, 0:05:21.640 --> 0:05:25.360 comes from Sydney. It says, hey, Granger, how many guitars 0:05:25.440 --> 0:05:28.600 do you have and which one is your favorite and 0:05:28.680 --> 0:05:33.039 what would be the best one for a beginner. I 0:05:33.080 --> 0:05:38.800 have recently counted because we moved and we moved into 0:05:38.839 --> 0:05:42.200 this new house where we are now, so I recently 0:05:42.800 --> 0:05:47.880 took an inventory and it sits the number sits around twenty. 0:05:47.960 --> 0:05:52.839 I have around twenty guitars because I might have forgotten 0:05:53.040 --> 0:05:55.200 one or two, might be twenty one, might be nineteen, 0:05:55.279 --> 0:06:01.359 but it's somewhere in there. I have several favorites. I 0:06:01.400 --> 0:06:06.240 have a favorite for the road. I have a favorite 0:06:06.240 --> 0:06:09.599 which is my John may Or Martin. It's my road dog. 0:06:10.480 --> 0:06:14.360 And Todd, my other guitar player, has one just like it. 0:06:14.440 --> 0:06:16.640 And then Fish, my other guitar player, has a very 0:06:16.680 --> 0:06:20.000 similar one too. So we have those because they're just 0:06:21.000 --> 0:06:24.240 indestructible on the road. They sound great. They you could 0:06:24.240 --> 0:06:26.880 plug them into anything and they sound great. They're built 0:06:26.920 --> 0:06:30.600 really well, they play really well. Then I have my 0:06:31.000 --> 0:06:33.960 favorite wallhangers. I have my favorite sentimental ones. I have 0:06:34.040 --> 0:06:38.240 my favorite historic ones if you watch the Smiths. I 0:06:38.279 --> 0:06:45.400 have a Gibson that I recently acquired that is really 0:06:45.440 --> 0:06:48.800 really awesome. It's a Jay forty five and it's from 0:06:49.040 --> 0:06:53.000 nineteen forty six, so really old. And I have, of 0:06:53.080 --> 0:06:54.839 course the ones that I grew up playing, and I 0:06:54.880 --> 0:06:57.520 have some some of the ones that have been very 0:06:57.560 --> 0:07:00.480 important shows of mine, very important seasons of my life. 0:07:00.560 --> 0:07:02.920 So my guitars are my girls. I love them. They 0:07:02.960 --> 0:07:05.560 all play different, they all feel different in my hands, 0:07:05.760 --> 0:07:09.680 they all sound different to different songs. I've recorded different 0:07:09.760 --> 0:07:13.040 ones on different songs that I needed a different feel to. 0:07:13.880 --> 0:07:17.600 So very sensitive about these guitars and very passionate about it. 0:07:17.680 --> 0:07:20.800 To you, Sidney, to answer your question about what would 0:07:20.840 --> 0:07:26.200 be the best beginner guitar, it kind of depends on 0:07:26.280 --> 0:07:28.160 how serious you want to get, if you want to 0:07:28.200 --> 0:07:31.800 get if you're like man, I am dead set on 0:07:31.880 --> 0:07:33.760 learning this guitar. I already have a little bit of 0:07:33.760 --> 0:07:39.040 background in it, and I already have these plans with it. 0:07:39.120 --> 0:07:42.960 Then you might want to spend a little extra money. 0:07:43.080 --> 0:07:47.840 You might want to spend five hundred bucks or more. 0:07:48.160 --> 0:07:50.280 You might want to go between five hundred and one 0:07:50.280 --> 0:07:53.880 thousand dollars. If you're like, I'm desperate to learn this, 0:07:54.040 --> 0:07:58.680 I have to. It's a passion. If you're like, I'd 0:07:58.720 --> 0:08:02.680 like to give it a shot to try it, I don't. 0:08:02.720 --> 0:08:05.240 I don't really have any music background, and I don't 0:08:05.240 --> 0:08:07.280 really know how this is going to go, and I 0:08:07.280 --> 0:08:11.679 don't have plans for lessons, then don't. Don't spend over 0:08:11.880 --> 0:08:15.480 four or five hundred bucks. Don't do that. You could 0:08:15.520 --> 0:08:18.520 go to your local guitar shop and look in the 0:08:18.560 --> 0:08:22.840 two two to three hundred dollars range. Anything below that 0:08:23.120 --> 0:08:26.080 it's a toy. Anything one hundred dollars range is a toy. 0:08:26.880 --> 0:08:28.600 But you want to go two to three hundred bucks. 0:08:29.240 --> 0:08:31.720 And then you want to tell the guy that you 0:08:31.760 --> 0:08:33.559 buy it from in the music shop that you want 0:08:33.720 --> 0:08:36.959 nylon strings, and he's gonna look at you like you're crazy, 0:08:37.440 --> 0:08:39.960 But you want to take the steel strings off of 0:08:40.000 --> 0:08:43.760 it and replace it with nylon strings that typically go 0:08:43.840 --> 0:08:47.040 with a classical guitar, and the guy's going to go 0:08:47.120 --> 0:08:49.320 you don't want to do that. Who told you to 0:08:49.320 --> 0:08:51.560 do that? Go Granger Smith podcast told me to do it? 0:08:52.440 --> 0:08:58.600 And so a normal acoustic guitar, it's the strings. The 0:08:58.720 --> 0:09:02.680 steel strings have little metal balls at the end of them. 0:09:03.000 --> 0:09:05.000 The nylon strings don't. So you have to tie knot. 0:09:05.559 --> 0:09:08.040 You literally have to tie not, just like a fishing line, 0:09:08.240 --> 0:09:10.160 that's what it feels like. Tie out at the end 0:09:10.200 --> 0:09:12.360 of the string and run it through and then that 0:09:12.440 --> 0:09:17.800 knot will serve as the little metal ball. This will 0:09:17.840 --> 0:09:21.320 save your fingers and it will allow you to play more, 0:09:21.440 --> 0:09:24.439 and it will keep you in the game longer, because 0:09:24.440 --> 0:09:29.280 if those steel strings on a cheaper guitar are harder 0:09:29.320 --> 0:09:32.680 to push down, and it's gonna start cutting your fingers 0:09:32.760 --> 0:09:36.559 before you have callouses built up, and you're gonna get blisters, 0:09:36.840 --> 0:09:38.640 and you're not gonna want to play, and you're gonna 0:09:38.679 --> 0:09:40.120 throw it in the corner and you're gonna get mad. 0:09:40.200 --> 0:09:43.000 You're gonna say I can't do it, when in reality, 0:09:43.080 --> 0:09:44.920 it was just because you were playing a cheap guitar 0:09:45.040 --> 0:09:49.079 with strings that were crushing your fingers. That's my advice, 0:09:49.760 --> 0:09:51.760 and I know, I know I've kind of explained that before, 0:09:51.800 --> 0:09:54.600 but I'm sticking with it. That's what I used to do. 0:09:55.679 --> 0:10:02.560 That's it skip around here, and at this point, I 0:10:02.600 --> 0:10:04.679 don't know how deep we're about to go, but we're 0:10:04.679 --> 0:10:07.360 about to go down a rabbit hole. I'm gonna click 0:10:07.400 --> 0:10:15.120 on this one. It says take the reins, Hattie Granger. 0:10:15.600 --> 0:10:20.040 My name is Will. I'm a twenty year old part 0:10:20.160 --> 0:10:25.240 time diesel mechanic, part time student. First, my question for 0:10:25.360 --> 0:10:29.120 you revolves around my desire to get married. It's something 0:10:29.160 --> 0:10:32.640 I've been praying for for years. I'm very passionate about it. 0:10:33.120 --> 0:10:35.880 The question I have is how much should I be 0:10:36.080 --> 0:10:38.160 How much should I be sitting back waiting for the 0:10:38.240 --> 0:10:41.720 right woman without letting her slip by? In other words, 0:10:42.120 --> 0:10:44.760 should I take the reins and put myself out there 0:10:45.120 --> 0:10:48.079 or expect to just know when God brings the right 0:10:48.080 --> 0:10:50.560 one into my life. I love your podcast. My brother 0:10:50.600 --> 0:10:52.520 and I are going to see you at Tailgates and 0:10:52.520 --> 0:10:58.880 Tallboys in Taylorville, Illinois. Thanks will, appreciate you, buddy, Thank 0:10:58.880 --> 0:11:02.360 you Will. Yeah, we already played Taylorville. So this this 0:11:02.440 --> 0:11:07.480 email came July nineteenth, So I hope, yeah, I hope 0:11:07.520 --> 0:11:10.480 you had a good time. It's a good question, and 0:11:10.559 --> 0:11:16.480 I see I see similar questions a lot on this podcast. 0:11:17.000 --> 0:11:19.640 The answer always will revolve to me, will kind of 0:11:19.640 --> 0:11:25.120 revolve around your age. So twenty, you're twenty years old. 0:11:25.720 --> 0:11:29.080 That tells me there's this is not desperate, you know, 0:11:29.120 --> 0:11:33.200 there's just you're not. You're not. You're not in need 0:11:33.200 --> 0:11:37.560 of a wife right now. Right every man needs a companion, 0:11:37.600 --> 0:11:42.880 every every woman needs a companion. But you're not. You're not, 0:11:43.280 --> 0:11:45.439 you know, crushing the time clock right now saying, man, 0:11:45.480 --> 0:11:47.679 I got to I'm I'm pushing fifty years old. I'm 0:11:47.720 --> 0:11:50.480 still single, So this is a different story for you. 0:11:50.520 --> 0:11:56.640 Will your question says, basically, should I be sitting back 0:11:56.720 --> 0:12:01.080 waiting for the right woman or should I actually put 0:12:01.080 --> 0:12:05.719 myself out there or just expect that to know and 0:12:05.800 --> 0:12:08.280 God brings the right one into my life. Okay, let 0:12:08.320 --> 0:12:12.680 me kind of walk through this my thoughts. I'm not, guys, 0:12:12.720 --> 0:12:15.880 I'm not. I don't always have the right answers, maybe 0:12:15.880 --> 0:12:19.880 even rarely, but this podcast is not about right or 0:12:19.920 --> 0:12:23.960 wrong answers. This podcast is about Will. You're my buddy 0:12:24.440 --> 0:12:26.520 and you're saying, hey, Grangel, can I get some advice? 0:12:27.320 --> 0:12:30.120 And this is this is buddy advice. Buddy advice is 0:12:30.120 --> 0:12:33.520 not always right, it's not always wrong. It's just buddy advice. 0:12:33.559 --> 0:12:39.319 So this one, I'm gonna tell you we, as Christians, 0:12:39.840 --> 0:12:43.600 because you brought up God. As Christians, we never sit 0:12:43.720 --> 0:12:47.040 back and let God do something for us, because that's 0:12:47.080 --> 0:12:50.960 not just not the way God works. God works through 0:12:51.040 --> 0:12:56.520 us through through humanity. His will is acted out through 0:12:56.520 --> 0:13:00.880 men and women. And part of the way that He 0:13:00.960 --> 0:13:05.840 acts that out, that he enables his will to happen, 0:13:07.040 --> 0:13:11.800 is through our desires and through our wants. And I 0:13:11.880 --> 0:13:13.760 love this subject and it might not even be the 0:13:13.800 --> 0:13:16.000 first time I bring it up and today according to 0:13:16.000 --> 0:13:20.520 these questions, but it goes something like this. If you're 0:13:20.640 --> 0:13:26.040 living for God, if you're in his word, if you're 0:13:26.080 --> 0:13:31.480 fervently praying, if you're you're you're being obedient to the 0:13:31.480 --> 0:13:33.920 best of your ability according to the word that you're reading, 0:13:33.960 --> 0:13:37.480 and the and the prayers, the sincere prayers that you're 0:13:37.559 --> 0:13:41.240 that you're you're telling him and you're and you're feeling 0:13:41.360 --> 0:13:45.840 gratitude and you're giving him thanks and you're trusting him. See, 0:13:45.880 --> 0:13:48.000 trusting him and having faith in Him doesn't mean you 0:13:48.080 --> 0:13:51.079 kick back in a chair and say, now I trust 0:13:51.080 --> 0:13:54.319 you God, So now do it it means that when 0:13:54.360 --> 0:13:57.680 you trust him and you have faith, and you're in 0:13:57.760 --> 0:14:02.160 his word and you're deep in prayer, then at that 0:14:02.320 --> 0:14:05.720 point you do whatever you want to do. You literally 0:14:05.760 --> 0:14:09.240 go out and do whatever you want to do. And 0:14:09.320 --> 0:14:12.200 you're thinking, whoa hold on, granger, what you don't just 0:14:12.240 --> 0:14:16.120 do whatever? Yet, yeah, you do if you meet those requirements. 0:14:17.960 --> 0:14:23.560 So as the Bible says, those that delight in the Lord, right, 0:14:23.760 --> 0:14:27.160 if you're delighting in the Lord, then he will give 0:14:27.200 --> 0:14:29.920 you the desires of your heart. So you do whatever 0:14:29.960 --> 0:14:34.000 you want to do because he will make your want tos. 0:14:34.320 --> 0:14:38.400 He creates what you want. He creates that desire in 0:14:38.440 --> 0:14:43.080 your heart to do whatever you want. So, if you're 0:14:43.400 --> 0:14:47.400 delighting in the Lord in your all those things I said, 0:14:48.760 --> 0:14:51.560 then he's going to give you a want to. He's 0:14:51.560 --> 0:14:53.720 going to give you a desire he's going to get 0:14:53.800 --> 0:14:59.080 He's going to say, he's going to create the the 0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:02.680 your ability to discern what you want to do or not, 0:15:03.200 --> 0:15:06.440 and then you can trust it. You could trust that desire. 0:15:06.800 --> 0:15:08.800 Does that make sense? So what I'm trying to say 0:15:08.880 --> 0:15:14.040 is if you're chasing after him full strength and you're 0:15:14.040 --> 0:15:17.120 doing all these things, and you see a girl and 0:15:17.120 --> 0:15:21.720 she's beautiful and she's sweet, and her family's great, and 0:15:21.760 --> 0:15:27.520 you go, this girl's amazing, and then you realize, yeah, 0:15:27.560 --> 0:15:30.160 God brought her to me because I was on a path. 0:15:30.280 --> 0:15:34.160 I was heading down this path. So let me give 0:15:34.200 --> 0:15:40.960 you some points of action here. You're a part time, yeah, 0:15:40.960 --> 0:15:46.480 part time diesel tech, full time student. So during this time, 0:15:47.320 --> 0:15:49.400 you're hanging with friends, you're going to church, you're in 0:15:49.440 --> 0:15:52.520 a small group, you're hanging with your buddies, the diesel 0:15:52.560 --> 0:15:56.600 tech buddies. You're studying like crazy. You're putting all that 0:15:57.160 --> 0:15:59.800 into full swing, like this is your effort, this is 0:15:59.800 --> 0:16:01.760 what doing well, this is your this is your life. 0:16:02.440 --> 0:16:05.960 And along that path when a girl comes around, which 0:16:06.080 --> 0:16:08.600 they do, this is how it happens. There's like fifty 0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:10.680 to fifty in this world, men and women, right, something 0:16:10.720 --> 0:16:13.200 like that. So that's gonna happen. You're gonna run into 0:16:13.240 --> 0:16:15.960 a girl and she's gonna be at church, or she's 0:16:16.000 --> 0:16:18.960 gonna be a waitress, or she's gonna be bringing her 0:16:18.960 --> 0:16:21.280 diesel in for you to fix it. Or she's gonna 0:16:21.320 --> 0:16:24.600 be a well a student at school, she's gonna be 0:16:24.800 --> 0:16:26.880 in the faculty, she's gonna be a friend, of a 0:16:26.920 --> 0:16:29.920 friend or you're gonna you're gonna break your ankle, and 0:16:30.000 --> 0:16:33.760 she's the nurse at the hospital. There's this is gonna happen. 0:16:34.040 --> 0:16:35.720 And then when you have your eyes open and you're 0:16:35.760 --> 0:16:38.680 focused and you're on the right path, you're gonna know 0:16:38.800 --> 0:16:43.680 that she's the right one. So when you say put 0:16:43.680 --> 0:16:46.760 yourself out there, are you talking about like dating apps 0:16:46.760 --> 0:16:50.720 and stuff? Because no, I don't think so. I wouldn't. 0:16:50.760 --> 0:16:52.280 I wouldn't say that if me and you were sitting 0:16:52.280 --> 0:16:54.960 around a campfire and say, what do you mean by 0:16:55.960 --> 0:16:58.440 put yourself out? Take the reins and put yourself out there? 0:16:58.440 --> 0:17:02.160 What do you What do you mean? Because dating apps 0:17:03.120 --> 0:17:06.720 are stocking people on Facebook? Is not That's not the 0:17:06.800 --> 0:17:10.880 way that this is gonna happen. It can, it does, 0:17:11.800 --> 0:17:16.400 but probably not will. It's probably gonna happen in real life. 0:17:16.480 --> 0:17:19.119 So live your real life. Do what you do, do 0:17:19.200 --> 0:17:22.920 what you love to do, love God, put him first, 0:17:23.000 --> 0:17:25.439 and then do what you love to do, which is 0:17:25.480 --> 0:17:29.760 diesel trucks and school and hanging out with your buddies. 0:17:32.520 --> 0:17:35.000 And if you're following that in that path, then she's 0:17:35.000 --> 0:17:40.800 gonna come. So I appreciate your emailing man. This question 0:17:41.080 --> 0:17:45.560 comes from Timothy, and it says. The first thing it 0:17:45.600 --> 0:17:51.080 says is I'd like to remain anonymous. So I'm gonna 0:17:51.119 --> 0:17:53.680 I'm gonna I'm gonna pretend like I didn't say that. 0:17:55.680 --> 0:17:59.359 Good morning Granger. Me and my kids love your music 0:17:59.359 --> 0:18:03.280 and the family chain and Yeee apparel and your open faith. 0:18:03.359 --> 0:18:06.280 My question is, I'll try to word this well enough 0:18:06.320 --> 0:18:09.440 that you could figure it out. How do I talk 0:18:09.480 --> 0:18:13.760 to my wife about getting off social media her phone 0:18:14.560 --> 0:18:20.840 to be a mother to my kids? Right, So here's 0:18:20.880 --> 0:18:24.560 some info. Here's what's going on. He says. I'm thirty five, 0:18:24.640 --> 0:18:26.920 she's twenty six. We have three kids. We've been married 0:18:27.119 --> 0:18:30.760 for five years. Our youngest is two, our oldest is ten. 0:18:31.440 --> 0:18:34.600 And throughout the day we talk on my breaks and 0:18:34.640 --> 0:18:37.359 she is constantly irritated and aggravated with the kids and 0:18:37.400 --> 0:18:40.320 complaining about something they have done and how they act. 0:18:41.240 --> 0:18:44.800 Even when they're on the phone she's on social media. 0:18:45.320 --> 0:18:47.439 I end up getting off the phone because she's not 0:18:47.480 --> 0:18:50.000 talking to me and she gets upset. And when I'm home, 0:18:50.560 --> 0:18:52.080 the kids are on my hip one hundred percent of 0:18:52.080 --> 0:18:54.679 the time because she goes outside with because when she 0:18:54.720 --> 0:19:00.840 goes outside with them, she's on her phone. I'm skooping 0:19:00.840 --> 0:19:04.119 down here, and I'm and my kids are really annoyed 0:19:04.119 --> 0:19:05.919 by this, and I believe them because every minute when 0:19:05.920 --> 0:19:08.800 we're in home, Uh, this is what she's doing, unless 0:19:08.840 --> 0:19:12.760 we're sleeping, Unless she's sleeping or we're having intimate time, 0:19:13.880 --> 0:19:16.720 she's on the phone. I'm sorry, this email so long, 0:19:16.960 --> 0:19:19.000 and I try to talk to her about her phone, 0:19:19.040 --> 0:19:22.920 and she gets defensive and makes it a big dramatic scene. Uh, 0:19:23.280 --> 0:19:25.360 says we'll just get rid of Facebook. But that only 0:19:25.440 --> 0:19:28.639 lasts one day. I could really use some advice. Sorry 0:19:28.640 --> 0:19:31.360 guys for paraphrasing on that email, but yeah, I get 0:19:31.400 --> 0:19:36.520 the gist. I get the gist. People are addicted to 0:19:36.560 --> 0:19:42.760 their phones, people are addicted to social media, and this 0:19:42.840 --> 0:19:45.119 is that there's a couple of ways we could we 0:19:45.160 --> 0:19:51.440 could tackle this if we were hanging out. We all 0:19:51.480 --> 0:19:53.040 know that this is a problem, and this is not 0:19:53.840 --> 0:19:55.560 I hope you know this is not just a problem 0:19:55.600 --> 0:19:59.560 in your house. This is this is a problem in 0:19:59.640 --> 0:20:03.960 every house. I don't know many people in my life 0:20:04.600 --> 0:20:09.040 that say I'm never on my phone. I never, I'm not. 0:20:09.119 --> 0:20:12.159 I just don't ever get on my phone. Everyone is, 0:20:12.880 --> 0:20:19.359 and these phones are made addictive on purpose. They everything 0:20:19.400 --> 0:20:21.040 about them and the way they're the built in this 0:20:21.200 --> 0:20:24.840 in the the operating systems and all social media apps 0:20:25.080 --> 0:20:27.719 are built so that you return to them over and 0:20:27.760 --> 0:20:30.760 over and over again. In fact, the swipe up you know, 0:20:30.800 --> 0:20:33.840 you need to swipe up to on every social media 0:20:33.880 --> 0:20:38.639 app that literally comes from swiping a slot machine at 0:20:38.640 --> 0:20:42.639 a casino. So as addictive as a as a slot 0:20:42.680 --> 0:20:46.240 machine as a casino is. This is this is what 0:20:46.280 --> 0:20:49.000 people are doing with their phones, and these social media 0:20:49.040 --> 0:20:51.880 companies and these phone companies, they know it. So they're 0:20:51.880 --> 0:20:56.040 trapping us. So the fact that your wife is doing 0:20:56.080 --> 0:21:01.439 this is it's it's not really that she's a weak person. 0:21:01.600 --> 0:21:04.399 She's fallen into it. She fell into a trap, and 0:21:04.440 --> 0:21:06.680 so you need to help her with this. Part of 0:21:06.720 --> 0:21:08.080 the way you could help her is to make sure 0:21:08.119 --> 0:21:10.679 that you're not falling into the trap, right, I mean, 0:21:10.720 --> 0:21:13.000 we can't just keep looking at everyone else and not 0:21:13.160 --> 0:21:15.680 realizing that we're doing the same thing and your kids 0:21:15.720 --> 0:21:19.080 might be doing the same thing. That doesn't change the 0:21:19.080 --> 0:21:23.119 fact that it's still a problem. So one way to 0:21:23.160 --> 0:21:27.840 tackle it is when she's not on her phone and 0:21:27.880 --> 0:21:29.720 when she's playing with the kids, or when she's talking 0:21:29.720 --> 0:21:36.800 with you, reinforce how awesome she is because she's so focused. 0:21:38.160 --> 0:21:43.440 Like you'll say, Babe, this the last twenty minutes, this 0:21:43.520 --> 0:21:50.159 conversation has been amazing. You are You're focused, you're engaged. 0:21:50.440 --> 0:21:53.160 I just there's a lot of people in my life, 0:21:53.200 --> 0:21:56.000 but I love talking to you. I love talking to 0:21:56.040 --> 0:21:59.480 you because you're so You're just you're easy to talk to, 0:22:00.119 --> 0:22:02.359 especially when we don't have our phones around, you know, 0:22:02.480 --> 0:22:05.879 like phones, it's just easy to so like you're reinforcing 0:22:05.920 --> 0:22:10.280 to her in her mind that my husband loves when 0:22:10.320 --> 0:22:16.360 I'm when we're actually having a real conversation. The other 0:22:16.440 --> 0:22:21.320 thing is it's just a conversation about you putting the 0:22:21.320 --> 0:22:24.720 problem on yourself first instead of blaming her, because you 0:22:24.760 --> 0:22:28.200 can't blame her for this, So instead you go, Babe, 0:22:28.200 --> 0:22:30.200 could I talk to you about something I think I'm 0:22:30.240 --> 0:22:36.120 having having a problem with looking at my phone all 0:22:36.119 --> 0:22:41.520 the time, and I need you to help me to 0:22:41.640 --> 0:22:44.119 get off of it. So what are some things that 0:22:44.160 --> 0:22:48.160 we could do to help get off of it? For example, 0:22:49.080 --> 0:22:51.920 I know a couple that when he comes in from 0:22:51.920 --> 0:22:54.199 work and she comes in from work, they drop their 0:22:54.200 --> 0:22:56.520 phones in a little basket at the front door. So 0:22:56.560 --> 0:22:58.120 it's like you have your phone out during the day, 0:22:58.119 --> 0:23:00.520 but when you come into the house, you drop it 0:23:00.520 --> 0:23:03.679 into a basket, and there's a certain time during the day, 0:23:03.720 --> 0:23:05.840 like an hour during the day when they can go 0:23:05.880 --> 0:23:08.320 and get their phones out of the basket. And that's extreme, 0:23:08.400 --> 0:23:12.639 but it's something there's always a way. There's always a 0:23:12.640 --> 0:23:14.600 way with this kind of stuff. And then I think 0:23:14.640 --> 0:23:19.760 it starts with communication. Deleting Facebook. Getting rid of Facebook 0:23:19.960 --> 0:23:23.000 never helps, as you said, it only lasts one day. 0:23:24.560 --> 0:23:27.399 I've seen people there's different apps that could help you 0:23:29.080 --> 0:23:35.199 that could help monitor your your log in time. Some 0:23:35.280 --> 0:23:40.399 people will delete the passwords or log themselves out, Like 0:23:40.440 --> 0:23:42.360 every time you get off Facebook, you log yourself out, 0:23:42.400 --> 0:23:44.480 so that when you get back on Facebook, you have 0:23:44.520 --> 0:23:46.760 to log in. And it's annoying and you don't want 0:23:46.760 --> 0:23:48.399 to do it every five seconds because you've got to 0:23:48.440 --> 0:23:53.680 keep logging in. But that takes discipline to do that. 0:23:53.280 --> 0:23:57.479 There is an app that John Marlin our guitar Player, 0:23:57.680 --> 0:24:00.560 my guitar Player not. We use this a lot, and 0:24:00.640 --> 0:24:04.120 it was gosh, I wish I could wish I could 0:24:04.119 --> 0:24:07.080 remember the name, but there's so many If you type 0:24:07.080 --> 0:24:11.560 in you know, screen time Management screen management, those kind 0:24:11.560 --> 0:24:15.800 of apps. But this one was a tree, and you 0:24:15.840 --> 0:24:20.520 when you close your screen, it's it starts growing a tree, 0:24:20.720 --> 0:24:24.359 and if you open your phone within a certain amount 0:24:24.359 --> 0:24:27.199 of time, it kills the tree. So you see like 0:24:27.280 --> 0:24:30.960 the little leaves withering. But the longer you leave your 0:24:30.960 --> 0:24:34.480 phone closed, the tree grows and like blossoms and gets 0:24:34.520 --> 0:24:38.879