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Speaker 1: Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife.

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Speaker 1: She cooked, she cleaned, cared for her children and the

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Speaker 1: man of the house, and of course she didn't talk back.

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Speaker 1: She was both obedient and soft by nature. She was

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Speaker 1: a good woman who always made good choices. We're good

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Speaker 1: mom with bad choices, do single mom? Who said? But

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Speaker 1: the patriarchy shared all their bad choices and found out

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Speaker 1: they were so bad after all, we're experts.

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Speaker 2: Overshares and your new bestie.

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Speaker 1: Sit back and near the ride. I can do a

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Speaker 1: pat mom.

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Speaker 2: Welcome back to good mom's bad choices.

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Speaker 1: I'm Eric fr I'm Nila, and it's motherfucking Wednesday.

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Speaker 2: Beach is hump day, beach.

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Speaker 1: It's a hump day, bitch. Are you getting humped tonight?

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Speaker 1: Because I am an that's Arah.

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Speaker 2: I got humped this morning. Oh how are you, dear?

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Speaker 1: I'm good, I'm great. I worked out this morning. I

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Speaker 1: got in the steam room. I recently joined a gym.

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Speaker 2: So your steam room at your house.

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Speaker 1: No, I don't have a steam room at my house.

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Speaker 1: But that's thank you for thinking that. I do an

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Speaker 1: I do with those are two different things, okay, whatever.

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Speaker 1: I joined a gym finally because I was class passing

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Speaker 1: my life away, and I got tired of the shit.

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Speaker 1: I love class past, but I needed to just commit

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Speaker 1: to the gym. So now I've joined, I've followed suit

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Speaker 1: to view. I joined a boogie gym, and I love

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Speaker 1: it because I'm a bougie bitch.

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Speaker 2: I'm telling you, like the bougieness is.

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Speaker 3: I feel like this is the era of boogieness. Like

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Speaker 3: I wish that my bougie gym is more black. But

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Speaker 3: then I'm also like, you know, I don't need any friends.

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Speaker 3: I don't want anyone to talk to me.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, my boogie gym got the black people.

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Speaker 3: It's like a It motivates you to get to the

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Speaker 3: fucking gym. It has to be boogie. I feel like

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Speaker 3: about a spot every time I go. I'm like, this

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Speaker 3: is the right choice.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I saw my baby daddy at the gym. I

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Speaker 1: saw school Boy Q at the gym. I'm definitely gonna

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Speaker 1: say my baby daddy. And I saw Okay Cola at

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Speaker 1: the gym. Everybody says I saw my ex's new girlfriend

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Speaker 1: at the gym. The gym is pop. It was a

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Speaker 1: very populicious gym experience today. I said, whoa, whoa.

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Speaker 2: I wonder if my gym will let me be the

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Speaker 2: d inclusion.

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Speaker 3: Hey it's me just I just joined and I have

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Speaker 3: a proposition for one.

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Speaker 2: Hundred dollars off. I can be your d I.

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Speaker 1: Appointed myself.

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Speaker 2: Here's my list of people who want to come, so

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Speaker 2: just make it happen.

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Speaker 1: By Yeah, so it was good. I worked out with

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Speaker 1: my baby daddy, which was very It never happened ever

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Speaker 1: in life, so that was interesting. I'm getting ready to

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Speaker 1: go on a trip with him.

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Speaker 3: I was gonna say when this episode comes out, we'll

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Speaker 3: have come back from the trip with your baby daddy.

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Speaker 3: You guys, we are going on a vacate. We're going

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Speaker 3: on a retreat. But after the retreat, her baby daddy

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Speaker 3: is coming with her child. And we decided, because we

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Speaker 3: were crazy, we're gonna all stay in the same house.

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Speaker 1: Together, and that's going to be interesting. This is called growth.

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Speaker 1: This is called evolution. This is called we are in

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Speaker 1: a different place I think.

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Speaker 3: I mean at the end of the day, we had

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Speaker 3: kids with the baby daddies. At some point, like if I,

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Speaker 3: if I my baby daddy wasn't such a fucking asshole,

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Speaker 3: and so by we would be friends too. Because Nigga

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Speaker 3: I've known you for twenty five years. We've made life together,

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Speaker 3: so that would be ideal, and I wish that it

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Speaker 3: was more ideal. Maybe my distant future we'll have more

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Speaker 3: of a friendship and Orlando and him of this beast.

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Speaker 1: So maybe I'll rub my baby daddy entered future energy.

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Speaker 2: On you, sprinkle it on over. Maybe he'll get some

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Speaker 2: maturity or something.

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Speaker 1: Orlando, you're supposed to be supportive of this, don't you see?

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Speaker 3: Alicia Keys and Swiss beats, God, grow up.

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Speaker 2: This is why my life can not maturety anywhere.

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Speaker 1: So anyway, Yeah, that's that's where I'm at today.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, beautiful, I'm happy to hear that.

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Speaker 3: You know, seven years ago when we started this podcast,

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Speaker 3: I don't think we'd ever thought we'd be any of us,

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Speaker 3: either one of us. No one would be here. So

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Speaker 3: lots of growth has happened. I'm proud of you.

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Speaker 1: Thank you.

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Speaker 2: Actually, check back in in June.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we're like, let's see how I waited it.

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Speaker 2: I threw them off a check my inter June.

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Speaker 3: Actually we're acting. We're talking pre pre trip. I'm sure

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Speaker 3: it's gonna be fine, though.

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Speaker 1: No, we have the kid there. The kid is there

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Speaker 1: to buffer the thing. You guys are there. I made sure.

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Speaker 1: I was like to me, like, you have to stay

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Speaker 1: in the house, come with come with us.

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Speaker 2: So we're going at an adventure.

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Speaker 1: Bye, come, No, it'll be fun. He's fun. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I mean I'm not really worried about him anyway.

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Speaker 2: I'm good.

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Speaker 1: I'm good. I'm good. Yeah. Great. I love that. I

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Speaker 1: love that for you. It's not. That's like a bitchy thing, right,

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Speaker 1: we established it. That's a bitchy thing.

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Speaker 2: I say it because everyone's saying it, but I feel

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Speaker 2: like it's bitchy.

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Speaker 1: I remember the first time someone said it to me

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Speaker 1: and I was offended. I was like, are you being

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Speaker 1: a bitch? Oh, it's a reminder of my dad date today.

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Speaker 1: I just always have a reminder to go on a

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Speaker 1: date with my dad, but it doesn't never happen.

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Speaker 2: That sounds really sad. It's just that sounds really sad.

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Speaker 1: It's there, so I remember to do it, you know,

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Speaker 1: or call him at least.

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Speaker 2: Okay, good, you know that's a good idea. Oh, actually,

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Speaker 2: you know what.

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Speaker 3: I we had a party at our house this weekend

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Speaker 3: for Sunday dinner and it was really nice and my

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Speaker 3: dad came and he bought food and it was really nice.

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Speaker 3: And then you know, I gave a speech about connection

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Speaker 3: and then he hugged me for like eight minutes straight.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, are you gidding?

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Speaker 1: Your dad called me by accident the other day he

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Speaker 1: did with all his friends. I forgot to tell you.

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Speaker 2: Did he speak to you?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 1: He called me on WhatsApp and I was like, Miles

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Speaker 1: is calling me, and then there were like three other

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Speaker 1: men on the phone. He's like, oops, I called you

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Speaker 1: by accident, but how are you? I love you? And

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Speaker 1: I think your dad is going through a soft era

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Speaker 1: because like he's He's said a few things to me

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Speaker 1: recently where I'm like, you know, Miles, he was softening up.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, he hugged me for like eight minutes at

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Speaker 3: my party, so I was like, maybe this means he's proud.

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Speaker 1: He is proud of you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, my brother came.

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Speaker 1: It was nice.

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Speaker 2: It was fun.

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Speaker 3: Anyway, you guys, we have a very special guest today

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Speaker 3: in house, one that I have personally stalked for probably upwards.

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Speaker 2: Of a year to two.

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Speaker 3: You know, That's how my stocking is, just how I

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Speaker 3: put the spidy senses, the frequencies out to who's going

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Speaker 3: to be the guest. And this week we have the

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Speaker 3: founder of the Progressive Love Academy, wife, mother, businesswoman, entrepreneur,

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Speaker 3: matriarch Kennya Stevens. Not hello, polyamory expert Polly every expert. Okay, basically,

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Speaker 3: you guys, she's mastering life.

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Speaker 2: She has ten husbands. She didn't want to be sensational

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Speaker 2: about that. I want to know.

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Speaker 1: I got questions. Okay, tense, you got ten husbands.

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Speaker 2: I don't know how many. Oh, actually, I mean I

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Speaker 2: have husband's boyfriends and friends.

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Speaker 1: They are different categories.

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Speaker 2: I can say clearly, I have four husbands that are

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Speaker 2: life partners.

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Speaker 1: Will you say? Okay? Husbands in the traditional sense, like

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Speaker 1: you guys walk down the aisle, put a ring on it,

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Speaker 1: and then like went to the courts because you didn't

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Speaker 1: go to the court to the court, but you have

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Speaker 1: a ring for each fall four Like.

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Speaker 2: No, I only have a ring for the one that

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Speaker 2: I most recently married.

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Speaker 1: Where's your original? Husband?

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Speaker 2: Said?

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Speaker 1: Good?

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Speaker 2: I don't wear that like I switch them out. I

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Speaker 2: don't just wear them all at the same time.

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Speaker 1: I'm good.

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Speaker 2: You should I am not being bougie.

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Speaker 1: I should be boogie. You shouldn't be more boogie. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: if you need them all four.

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Speaker 2: So this is my ring from husband number three.

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Speaker 1: This is my ring and one might feel less than

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Speaker 1: the other though, because like one is like smaller than

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Speaker 1: the other. That would yeah play egos, Yeah, oh lesson.

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Speaker 3: You should have you saw the hand. You should have

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Speaker 3: stepped your game up. Okay, if you're gonna be number four,

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Speaker 3: you gotta come with the fourth.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: When I first found Kenya on the internet, I immediately

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Speaker 3: showed Orlando.

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Speaker 2: I was like, look at her. She has a lot

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Speaker 2: of husbands, and he was like, get that shit on

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Speaker 2: my face.

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Speaker 1: He was just like, keep open minded.

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Speaker 2: No, he wasn't really trying to hear me have multiple husbands.

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Speaker 3: But I've been massaging it, and he massaging it deeply

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Speaker 3: into his aura.

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Speaker 1: That's why she was on love like this. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: you know what, she's here.

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Speaker 3: We should just talk to her so you can get

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Speaker 3: a better understanding of the husbands.

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Speaker 1: You want more, you want more than one husband? No,

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Speaker 1: I don't.

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Speaker 2: But I'm not opposed to having friends like other friends.

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Speaker 2: I do think that.

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I feel like there's probably a point in relationships where

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Speaker 3: you're like, yeah, go hang out with bedseed nigga, you know, like,

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Speaker 3: I just feel like I understand that there may be

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Speaker 3: a time in our relationship where things will come up

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Speaker 3: and like feelings, where other people may exist.

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Speaker 2: I know you're looking at me fucking crazy because.

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Speaker 1: A looking at her like that. Im she's she's She's not.

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Speaker 2: I know you.

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Speaker 3: So now are you judg meantal with Polly? No, just

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Speaker 3: she's me ziom into her face because she thinks that

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Speaker 3: I'm jealous.

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Speaker 1: Really, I don't know what. I don't think that.

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Speaker 2: I don't think think you're too jealous to ever consider polyamory.

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Speaker 1: I don't think ever. I just think that, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's just you know, it's gonna take some time. It

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Speaker 1: can'ta take some time. It does.

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Speaker 2: It's nothing to jump into, for sure. I'm not pressed.

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Speaker 3: I'm just I know that, you know, long term marriage

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Speaker 3: requires a lot of layers of understanding and shit happens,

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Speaker 3: and I'm not I'm not projecting that in the future

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Speaker 3: Orlena is going to suggest there'd be another wife because

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Speaker 3: I probably will cut him.

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Speaker 1: But see literally, but you have to cut him.

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Speaker 2: No no, no, no, oh.

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Speaker 1: You mean not not get rid of him. She means

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Speaker 1: like actually, she means like violence. She means like, actually

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Speaker 1: shame me first, do not?

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Speaker 3: No, I mean, we've had our experiences. We're not completely monogamous.

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Speaker 3: We're not monogamous. We're honogamous. I forget to tell you, Like,

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Speaker 3: we're honogamous. We are open to indulging experiences that are

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Speaker 3: pleasurable with each other. You know, we're we're open into

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Speaker 3: having the conversations and doing the things. And we've done things,

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Speaker 3: but mostly together.

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Speaker 1: It's interesting. So last night I was watching Couples Therapy,

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Speaker 1: and I my favorite show, all right, and so I've

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Speaker 1: like tapped in and tapped out, and like, I was like,

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Speaker 1: let me just start a whole new season. I don't

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Speaker 1: care about those other people anymore. I'm bored. So I

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Speaker 1: started with season four and there was a Paulle couple

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Speaker 1: right right, and and then I was thinking. I was like, wow,

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Speaker 1: I'm come here tomorrow and I'm gonna intervie Kenya, and

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Speaker 1: like I'm watching their dynamic and that poly couple has

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Speaker 1: some problems, specifically the man. He might be a narcissist.

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Speaker 1: But I was just I just thought, like I think

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Speaker 1: their dynamic was interesting because they're not actually they're not

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Speaker 1: sleeping together. I think there's a lot of misconceptions around polyamory,

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Speaker 1: and I would love for you to speak to those two,

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Speaker 1: but I think one of those misconceptions is that everyone's

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Speaker 1: sleeping with one another. Oh god no. And so specifically

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Speaker 1: with their dynamic on the show was like one was

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Speaker 1: like a primary, then the other one was secondary. Then

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Speaker 1: they were talking about like I have all these words,

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Speaker 1: I've never heard of anarchy or something relationship anarchy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I remember that. I remember that.

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Speaker 1: But like one of them like lives in Vegas half

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Speaker 1: the time. She was the original Primary, so she was

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Speaker 1: originally she's in the circus. She's the original Primary, but

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Speaker 1: she wanted to go have like go do her career,

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Speaker 1: and so the secondary has kind of come in and

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Speaker 1: become primary sort of, but like it wasn't really spoken about.

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Speaker 1: So then Primary decided to come to New York and

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Speaker 1: spend more time and her her boyfriend was like not

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Speaker 1: excited about it when she was like, wait, but I'm Primary.

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Speaker 1: What the fuck? Like what are you talking about? Like

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Speaker 1: this is you've asked me to come, and so I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I was just like this. This is why

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Speaker 1: I think polyamory in general gets a negative rap because

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Speaker 1: it feels like there's so many dynamics that have to

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Speaker 1: be considered, There's so many emotions and have to be considered,

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Speaker 1: and relationships one on one are hard. Is hard enough

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Speaker 1: that it's like now we have to consider all these

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Speaker 1: people's feelings and have a job and be a parent

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Speaker 1: and like, you know, deal with the world in life.

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Speaker 1: Like so it's like I'd rather just do one.

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Speaker 2: It's not for the faint of heart.

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Speaker 1: No, No, I mean I know. And when I was

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Speaker 1: watching them, I was like, this is there. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I'm only on I think I fell asleep like after

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Speaker 1: episode three, but I was like, this ain't gonna work. Hey,

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Speaker 1: they they might need Kenya because I don't know. Even

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Speaker 1: the therapist was looking at them like.

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Speaker 2: She therapists do not coach Polly. I don't know why

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Speaker 2: they're trying to do that.

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Speaker 1: She was looking at him like you have issues and

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Speaker 1: these bitches need to leave you.

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Speaker 2: I mean there, you know what.

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Speaker 3: The one thing I'll say about Couple's Therapy is what

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Speaker 3: you recognize is that everybody's issue stems from childhood, and

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Speaker 3: it's so much and that this takes a gentle nudging

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Speaker 3: to figure out from where. Yes, and most people are

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Speaker 3: searching for things to compensate it, to fill voids that

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Speaker 3: they haven't even begun to figure out.

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Speaker 2: Yes, and so it's like you're.

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Speaker 3: Never going to be in a relationship that's fulfilling because

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Speaker 3: you're literally trying to avoid yourself and that shit doesn't

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Speaker 3: work well.

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Speaker 2: I really, I've not seen couple's therapy, so I don't

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Speaker 2: want to, you know, I don't.

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Speaker 1: I don't know their situation.

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Speaker 2: But nobody in growing up in the USA, in Western

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Speaker 2: culture is ready for polyamory. Polyamory is not something you

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Speaker 2: just decide to do. I don't know why people are

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Speaker 2: doing that. Is it a fad? I mean, has it

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Speaker 2: become a fad? Yeah? I made it a fat first.

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Speaker 1: I mean I brought it fat.

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Speaker 2: I brought a mainstream and now people think somehow it's easy.

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Speaker 1: It's not.

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Speaker 2: It's something that you really have to be prepared for.

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Speaker 2: So that's what I do. You know, Okay.

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Speaker 1: So when you look at like couples like Neo okay,

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Speaker 1: and his dynamic is not polyamoral. Okay, So I was

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Speaker 1: gonna ask you, like, what is it? Yeah, what is

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Speaker 1: the perception of what you've seen so far in their dynamic?

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Speaker 1: Is that a polyamorous relationship or is that just a

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Speaker 1: man getting his rocks off with a bunch of different

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Speaker 1: women and them just getting polyandry. Polyandry means that I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna be with all of these women and these women

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Speaker 1: have to be monogamous. To me, that's not polyamory. So polyandry.

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Speaker 2: I don't even coach polyandry because that's like me coaching slavery.

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Speaker 1: I'm not I'm gonna help you get slaves.

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Speaker 2: I mean, that would be no. Not, it's not ethical

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Speaker 2: I think of And I'm not judging neo. I'm just

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Speaker 2: saying he shouldn't call that polyamory unless the women are

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Speaker 2: also free. No, I don't think that they're they're not.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I heard him say that they choose to be loyal

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Speaker 3: monogamous to him, and so they choose to be Yeah,

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Speaker 3: that's what if.

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Speaker 2: They didn't choose that, would he be okay with them? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Most of the men that i've just who call themselves Polly.

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Speaker 3: When I ask that question, because that's always my first question,

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Speaker 3: it's always no. And then I go, I can't hear

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Speaker 3: anything else you say, because nigga, you sound stupid.

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Speaker 2: Because they don't even know the name of the definition

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Speaker 2: of what they're doing.

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Speaker 3: Right, soogyny, So how can I even yeah, how can

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Speaker 3: we even continue the conversation? When you want people, you

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Speaker 3: want things that are one sided. You don't want partners,

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Speaker 3: you want minions and rights, indentured slaves.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, my husband came to me with that at first,

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Speaker 2: you know, he he thought of polygyny. That was the

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Speaker 2: first you know, that was the first stop on our polyamory.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So polyandry, polyamory, and polygyny, Yes, what is polygyny.

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Speaker 2: Polygyny is when one man wants to have multiple female partners,

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Speaker 2: but those women cannot have other men.

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Speaker 1: Okay, but I thought that was that's not polyandry.

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Speaker 2: No, Polyandry is when one woman wants multiple male partners

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Speaker 2: and all those partners are monogamous to her.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, So it's okay, got, I gotta got.

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Speaker 2: And polyamory is more around that centrifugal force where everyone

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Speaker 2: is free. That's where I live. I don't know any

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Speaker 2: women who are polyandrous, except the ones who's lying to

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Speaker 2: the man and saying that she's monogamous to them and

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Speaker 2: she has a collection of men but that's not really

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Speaker 2: polyandry because those men would know about each other. Right.

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Speaker 2: All of the Pollyes talk about consent, talk about honesty,

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Speaker 2: talk about, you know, being able to express yourself authentically

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Speaker 2: in your lining. Hear that if you're actually Polly, you're honest. Okay, Now,

357
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Speaker 2: there's a difference between honesty and authenticity.

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Speaker 1: I'm not.

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Speaker 2: I don't believe in honesty so much. We should talk

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Speaker 2: about that. Yeah, because a lot of people say, well,

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Speaker 2: you should be honest, honest about what. Usually when people

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Speaker 2: say you should be honest, they're saying you should tell

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Speaker 2: me who you slept with. It's not really a thing authentic,

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Speaker 2: Like I can authentically tell you. If you ask me

365
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Speaker 2: where I was last night, I can say authentically, I

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Speaker 2: don't feel like sharing that with you, I don't feel

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Speaker 2: safe sharing that with you, or don't feel like you

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Speaker 2: we know each other well enough for me to owe

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Speaker 2: you that information. That's an authentic answer. When people say honesty,

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Speaker 2: tell me where you were last night, Well, at ten o'clock,

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Speaker 2: I was here.

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Speaker 1: At eleven o'clock, I was here. I was with this person.

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Speaker 1: No one is honest. Well, that's because because that goes

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Speaker 1: back to that's even when we're talking about the difference

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Speaker 1: between honesty and transparency, right, it's like right, transparency is

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Speaker 1: usually when you're forthright, you're forthcoming, You're going to share

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Speaker 1: without being asked.

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Speaker 3: But if you feel interrogated by the questions, you are

379
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Speaker 3: not gonna I'm not gonna tell you shit because why

380
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Speaker 3: the fucking you in my business?

381
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Speaker 4: Did?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:35,000
Speaker 2: And then you won't be transparent if you're secretly feeling

384
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Speaker 2: terrified that you're gonna see jump down your throat. Right,

385
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,960
Speaker 2: But authentically, I could say, hey, I really don't feel

386
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Speaker 2: comfortable sharing with you because last time you jumped down

387
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Speaker 2: my throat. So I'm gonna hold that information that is authentic.

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Speaker 1: So I want to know where did this all begin

389
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Speaker 1: for you? Like when did you begin? I guess you're

390
00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:00,760
Speaker 1: in your journey into polyamory. Was that like, have you

391
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:03,320
Speaker 1: always been kind of just open or was this something

392
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Speaker 1: something occur or a relationship dynamic occur where you're like, yeah, nah.

393
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Speaker 2: Well, I mean starting at the beginning, y'all know, all

394
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:12,800
Speaker 2: humans are very open. You have to think back to

395
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Speaker 2: the second grade to the fifth grade.

396
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Speaker 1: That was our boyfriend. We like him, like we like him,

397
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Speaker 1: So you know, humans are not a monogamous species.

398
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Speaker 2: Monogamous species only have sex with one other per lifetime,

399
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Speaker 2: and if that mate should die, their sex drive dies

400
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Speaker 2: as well. So humans are not a monogamous species. Four

401
00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:34,520
Speaker 2: percent of mammals are monogamous. So you know, if you

402
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,280
Speaker 2: want to go all the way back where it started,

403
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:39,800
Speaker 2: I'm talking about you, oh me, Well you know this

404
00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:42,879
Speaker 2: human it's in front of me. Well, in my marriage,

405
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,480
Speaker 2: I've been married for thirty years, so I think a

406
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:48,280
Speaker 2: year four of my marriage, I started having feelings for

407
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Speaker 2: other men. One in particular, who was, you know, somebody

408
00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:55,000
Speaker 2: in my community circle. My husband and I went to Howard.

409
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,960
Speaker 2: We met at Howard and we're both Howard graduates, and

410
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Speaker 2: so we were living in DC. I'm in in DC,

411
00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:04,120
Speaker 2: and we had beautiful communities. But yeah, I felt myself

412
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Speaker 2: attracted to somebody, and I did tell my husband, and

413
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Speaker 2: I told my marriage counselors, and they told me to

414
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Speaker 2: nix it. They said, this is not acceptable. But how

415
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:16,720
Speaker 2: do you nix having dreams? You know, moist dreams about

416
00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:19,639
Speaker 2: a man, and really, you know, how do you stop

417
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:21,720
Speaker 2: the dreams? How do you stop the desire? You don't

418
00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:24,040
Speaker 2: and you can't. And nobody told me that before I

419
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Speaker 2: got married. I thought when you get married, magically you

420
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,879
Speaker 2: have the ring on it and you magically do not

421
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Speaker 2: think about other people. But that wasn't true, so that

422
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:36,720
Speaker 2: was mixed, you know, socially, I didn't carry it out then,

423
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Speaker 2: like at year eleven, my husband had the same experience

424
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Speaker 2: with somebody at his job.

425
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Speaker 1: Wait, so how did your husband take it when you

426
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Speaker 1: told him at year four?

427
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Speaker 2: You know, my husband and I are very spiritual. We

428
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:50,240
Speaker 2: were also involved in spiritual community, so we already knew that,

429
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:53,720
Speaker 2: you know, you can handle emotion, you can handle people's authenticity.

430
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Speaker 2: We had learned that through our spiritual practices, meditation and

431
00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:59,920
Speaker 2: yoga and all the function way, and we were deep

432
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Speaker 2: into this world. So he wasn't like what No, He

433
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Speaker 2: was just like, okay, that's good. What should we do?

434
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Speaker 2: He wasn't upset. And when he told me about another

435
00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:14,399
Speaker 2: woman at eleven year eleven, I wasn't upset. He hadn't

436
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:16,879
Speaker 2: had sex with her. I hadn't had sex with the guy.

437
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:20,600
Speaker 2: We were just having authentic conversations. So what was our

438
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:21,760
Speaker 2: training in that? I don't know.

439
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:23,480
Speaker 1: I wish more people could do it, though it makes

440
00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:27,480
Speaker 1: you friends first. So then after year eleven when this

441
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,399
Speaker 1: was revealed. Still know that you guys didn't open up

442
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:31,440
Speaker 1: your relationship then.

443
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:33,880
Speaker 2: No, because I said, you know, he said, well, I'm

444
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:34,919
Speaker 2: thinking about prologyny.

445
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:36,280
Speaker 4: No.

446
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:40,320
Speaker 1: I was like, what, like we not Like I'm from Detroit,

447
00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:42,879
Speaker 1: Like I'm not from Mississippi somewhere. I'm not from Africa.

448
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:44,600
Speaker 1: I don't know where they do polygyny.

449
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,760
Speaker 2: If I was just telling him, if you would like

450
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:49,439
Speaker 2: to seriously pursue her, I would like to do that

451
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:50,480
Speaker 2: as well, and he would.

452
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:51,040
Speaker 1: Just shut me down.

453
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:55,359
Speaker 2: Never mind. Yeah, I mean he did a full U

454
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:58,840
Speaker 2: turn and for two years after that he dropped that conversation.

455
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:01,800
Speaker 2: I mean we talked about it over those two years,

456
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:05,720
Speaker 2: but it wasn't until I met somebody again and I

457
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:07,639
Speaker 2: called him from the conference I was at, like a

458
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,520
Speaker 2: green conference, and I said, babe, like I met this

459
00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:12,960
Speaker 2: person who I'm resonating with. And this time he was like,

460
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,240
Speaker 2: go ahead and talk to him. Okay, just call me

461
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,720
Speaker 2: when you're done. Don't go to his room, just talk

462
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:20,080
Speaker 2: to him and see where it goes. And I did

463
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:23,119
Speaker 2: so he sort of let me go first, and like

464
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:26,560
Speaker 2: he never wanted to say, yes, you can have other men.

465
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:28,600
Speaker 2: He was just like oh it happened.

466
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:31,920
Speaker 1: Okay, Like, so what was that first experience, Like, I

467
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:35,280
Speaker 1: don't know if that was the not necessarily that experience,

468
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:37,240
Speaker 1: but the experience where you actually did take it to

469
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,359
Speaker 1: the next steps. I'm curious, Like, well, I try to

470
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,000
Speaker 1: take it to the next step with that guy. So

471
00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:42,200
Speaker 1: I did come home.

472
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:44,280
Speaker 2: I didn't at the conference, but I came home told

473
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:47,800
Speaker 2: my husband I like him blah blah blah, and he

474
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,959
Speaker 2: wants me to come to California and see him and

475
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,280
Speaker 2: talk to him and get like stay at his house.

476
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:57,000
Speaker 2: My husband was like, okay, but he I think my

477
00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:59,679
Speaker 2: husband knew that if he wanted something, he had to

478
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:02,440
Speaker 2: let me go first. Like, if you're the main one

479
00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:05,080
Speaker 2: who wants the thing, it's gonna behoove you to.

480
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:07,320
Speaker 1: Let your partner have the same privilege.

481
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,840
Speaker 2: If not, this is jail, you know, you're just a

482
00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:12,280
Speaker 2: warden keeping your partner in the jail. And who wants

483
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,199
Speaker 2: to be a married who wants to be married like that.

484
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:17,520
Speaker 2: So he was like, Okay, you can do this. But

485
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:20,280
Speaker 2: I was so scared on that plane ride. Then I

486
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:22,680
Speaker 2: got to California. He was here working at a startup,

487
00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:25,000
Speaker 2: and I got to his house and I just froze

488
00:21:25,119 --> 00:21:28,240
Speaker 2: like nothing happened. My husband was at home. My husband

489
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:31,280
Speaker 2: doesn't even drink. I called him. My kids answer, where's

490
00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:35,560
Speaker 2: that He's in the basement drinking. I'm like, what, he

491
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,480
Speaker 2: does not drink. He wouldn't even let me have a

492
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:40,840
Speaker 2: sip of wine at our honeymoon. He does not drink.

493
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:42,560
Speaker 2: He does not eat sugar. We were vegans.

494
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:45,000
Speaker 1: Like, he's everything, he's stressed, all the things he was

495
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,959
Speaker 1: stressed if he's drinking. So that's how it started.

496
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:51,240
Speaker 2: And then I came home and we did repair. That's

497
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:53,760
Speaker 2: what couples don't really have in their relationship is repair.

498
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:55,480
Speaker 1: What is that?

499
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:58,360
Speaker 2: That's when you you know, you have your your animal

500
00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:01,399
Speaker 2: that gets really upset emotional. Then you have your ego,

501
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:04,440
Speaker 2: which is your story. She's over there, she's probably having sex.

502
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:06,920
Speaker 2: What if he's bigger, what if he's better. That's a story,

503
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:10,119
Speaker 2: it's never true. And then you have your higher self

504
00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:12,880
Speaker 2: where you say, Okay, what am I learning, how am

505
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:15,280
Speaker 2: I growing? How did I feel? And what does it mean?

506
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:17,560
Speaker 2: What do I need to do next time? That's your

507
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:21,560
Speaker 2: higher processing. So repair happens in your higher processing.

508
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,320
Speaker 1: So did you guys already have these tools, like how

509
00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:27,199
Speaker 1: did you know, to even take to take these steps

510
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:27,560
Speaker 1: with him.

511
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:30,879
Speaker 2: Yes, from our meditation, from me having three home births,

512
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:35,160
Speaker 2: from us being initiated into you know, African traditional culture.

513
00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:37,760
Speaker 1: We had a lot of tools, but what we did

514
00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:40,600
Speaker 1: is sort of reshape what we needed for.

515
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:44,679
Speaker 2: Our relationship because you know, you're gonna what we found

516
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:47,000
Speaker 2: at your thirty here is you're always gonna have jealousy.

517
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,359
Speaker 2: You're always gonna have insecurity. You're always gonna be angry

518
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:51,520
Speaker 2: if some shit happened that you don't like. You don't

519
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:54,280
Speaker 2: mother fucking like it. Your animal is not going anywhere.

520
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:56,840
Speaker 2: Your ego is not going anywhere. So the tools we've

521
00:22:56,880 --> 00:23:00,320
Speaker 2: developed help us have the conversation even and like I

522
00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:03,320
Speaker 2: can let my animal blast my husband, my husband's animal

523
00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:06,600
Speaker 2: can blast me inside of a container that we set

524
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:07,720
Speaker 2: for that purpose.

525
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:10,760
Speaker 3: You know, I was, I was just looking at your

526
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:13,480
Speaker 3: page last night, and there is a real that I

527
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,800
Speaker 3: really appreciated that I never heard like it was it

528
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,680
Speaker 3: made much sense, but I'd never heard it like put

529
00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:22,639
Speaker 3: this way. And basically you were saying like, yeah, like

530
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:25,160
Speaker 3: a lot of people are so busy suppressing the jealousy,

531
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:29,440
Speaker 3: suppressing the enemy, suppressing the ugly parts about themselves that

532
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:31,439
Speaker 3: they never let them out. And what you actually have

533
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:33,520
Speaker 3: to do is like let them out, pet them, love them,

534
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:37,000
Speaker 3: let them speak, let them roar, and like be become

535
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:39,199
Speaker 3: one with each of those things. So there's jealousy that

536
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:41,640
Speaker 3: we all have, there's insecurity that we all have. There's

537
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:44,680
Speaker 3: this you know, this animalistic like raging person. There's all

538
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:48,119
Speaker 3: these parts of us, like the shadow side essentially, but

539
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:52,360
Speaker 3: we don't give it space and air to speak its mind.

540
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:54,240
Speaker 1: Or to let like to release it.

541
00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:57,080
Speaker 3: Instead, we're so busy being like ashamed of those parts

542
00:23:57,119 --> 00:23:59,640
Speaker 3: of us. We shut them down immediately before they even

543
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:02,959
Speaker 3: see the light. And then there's no there's no integration

544
00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 3: of those parts of us.

545
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:07,119
Speaker 2: And I was like that makes sense, you know, but

546
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,080
Speaker 2: it has to be done as a safe container, because

547
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:12,320
Speaker 2: some men hear that and some people speak about that online,

548
00:24:12,359 --> 00:24:15,120
Speaker 2: but they don't show you how to set up the container.

549
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:16,000
Speaker 1: They don't show you.

550
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,239
Speaker 2: How to soothe that animal, because you can't just let

551
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:20,280
Speaker 2: the animal out, and then you don't know how to

552
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:22,680
Speaker 2: soothe it. You the person is not soothe the ball.

553
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:24,720
Speaker 2: A lot of people get in their animal and they

554
00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:26,760
Speaker 2: don't want to feel better, you know what I say.

555
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:29,040
Speaker 2: They just want to rage, and that's cool, but we

556
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:30,800
Speaker 2: need to know that inside of the container.

557
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:33,120
Speaker 1: We need to understand that first, like how long am.

558
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:34,160
Speaker 2: We gonna let the animal room?

559
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:35,440
Speaker 1: All right? Baby?

560
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:38,280
Speaker 2: Put that bitch yet, it's time for dinner, okay?

561
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:41,000
Speaker 1: And it's a it's a it's an art to be suitable.

562
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,720
Speaker 1: I have a question for you. So after this and

563
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:48,680
Speaker 1: after this happened, and because I think a lot of

564
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:52,720
Speaker 1: people listening probably heard like he was drinking, that means

565
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:54,840
Speaker 1: like why, well, that means it's not good, like you know,

566
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:57,000
Speaker 1: like that means like why are you fucking why are

567
00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 1: you stressing your husband out? Like clearly he didn't want

568
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:03,160
Speaker 1: this shit, Like it's abviously obviously you're you know you are.

569
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:05,960
Speaker 1: You have shown obviously you've moved past that point. And

570
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:10,320
Speaker 1: you guys created this container and communicated. And I know

571
00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:12,480
Speaker 1: that you guys are parents as well. How many children

572
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:15,280
Speaker 1: do you have? Three? Three? Is this three with him? Specifically? Yes,

573
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:18,960
Speaker 1: I've been married thirty years to him. How I guess

574
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:23,159
Speaker 1: as you ventured into polyamory, how have you introduced or

575
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:25,640
Speaker 1: talked to your children about that? And how old were

576
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:27,000
Speaker 1: they when they became aware?

577
00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:30,520
Speaker 2: Sure, my kids, we've been telling them this since I

578
00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:34,720
Speaker 2: don't even remember, since they could talk, we told them that, look,

579
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:39,160
Speaker 2: you create your life. You can have, do or become

580
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:43,040
Speaker 2: whatever you want. We tell our children metaphysical truth, like

581
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:46,760
Speaker 2: we don't raise our kids with the same sheltering of like, no,

582
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:48,800
Speaker 2: you have to do it this way, because we want

583
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:50,600
Speaker 2: our kids to have critical thinking skills.

584
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:52,879
Speaker 1: So we said, mom and dad, this is how we

585
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:53,360
Speaker 1: do it.

586
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:55,959
Speaker 2: Now we're gonna tell y'all how to do stuff, how

587
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,159
Speaker 2: to wash the dishes, how to do y'all homework. But

588
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:00,560
Speaker 2: if you feel like you have a better way, tell

589
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:04,879
Speaker 2: us think for yourself, Mom and dad, We think for ourselves.

590
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:07,720
Speaker 2: Nobody's gonna tell us how to live because we are

591
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:11,960
Speaker 2: adults of sound mind and creative as fuck and beautiful

592
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:16,080
Speaker 2: and wise, and you know, we create this system for ourselves.

593
00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:19,280
Speaker 1: Oh that's my kid. Nobody does that at school.

594
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:23,680
Speaker 2: But they're all divorced. All their friends' parents were divorced,

595
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:26,640
Speaker 2: you know, and we could have ended up divorced too.

596
00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:28,720
Speaker 2: Because it gets.

597
00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:31,119
Speaker 1: That way at year ten, and nobody prepares you for it.

598
00:26:31,119 --> 00:26:33,320
Speaker 1: It gets that way year fifteen. Nobody prepares you.

599
00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:35,760
Speaker 2: Nobody prepares you for the romance to start to wane

600
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:37,919
Speaker 2: for you not even to want to hang out with

601
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:40,600
Speaker 2: this dude, like my mom never told me that.

602
00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:42,560
Speaker 3: And you're like, damn, I got all the way to

603
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:45,320
Speaker 3: the decade mark for this shit to go, like to

604
00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:46,640
Speaker 3: be to dry out.

605
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:49,480
Speaker 2: And it's disheartening and you want to strangle someone because

606
00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:52,320
Speaker 2: you've put so much y'all know, you put your effort

607
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:54,399
Speaker 2: as a woman into this. Then you get to a

608
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:56,040
Speaker 2: point where he don't even want to sleep it. I

609
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,399
Speaker 2: remember my husband said, I want a separate bedroom. We

610
00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:05,080
Speaker 2: should have separate bedrooms. What I have invested in my

611
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:08,560
Speaker 2: entire youth, my entire Like, you don't want to have

612
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:10,679
Speaker 2: sex with me except for once a week now it

613
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:14,400
Speaker 2: was three days, it was every day, Like what is this?

614
00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:17,359
Speaker 2: Nobody tells you it is chemical cocktail in your brain.

615
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:20,800
Speaker 2: The bonding phase is when you're in love. I didn't

616
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:22,840
Speaker 2: even feel like I was in love at year fifteen,

617
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:25,760
Speaker 2: and I was not, And no one prepared me to

618
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:29,040
Speaker 2: switch from being in love to having unconditional love with

619
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:29,639
Speaker 2: my husband.

620
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:31,120
Speaker 1: But that's where we are now.

621
00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:32,359
Speaker 2: Would you say you're in love?

622
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:34,840
Speaker 1: Hell? No with my husband? Yeah no?

623
00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:37,679
Speaker 2: Are you in love with any of your husbands? I

624
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:40,560
Speaker 2: was in love with my younger husband, Tiger that has Wayne.

625
00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:43,800
Speaker 2: We're at year ten. See, we need to be prepared.

626
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:46,400
Speaker 2: I was not even prepared for that. I thought, like, oh.

627
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:47,879
Speaker 1: So you think so this is a fact that for

628
00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:51,040
Speaker 1: you think every couple that eventually they get into a

629
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:53,880
Speaker 1: space where they're no longer in love. And it's if

630
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:56,879
Speaker 1: you are able to move through that you get to

631
00:27:56,960 --> 00:28:00,160
Speaker 1: the unconditional part. But the in love kind of dies

632
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:04,280
Speaker 1: it it does not or expands it. It expands into something.

633
00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:09,560
Speaker 1: Thank you, you see that difference. It expands into something greater.

634
00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:14,000
Speaker 1: In love is a chemical cocktail. Why y'all ask me this.

635
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:16,880
Speaker 2: You've been in love, you know that you're in love,

636
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:18,560
Speaker 2: and then you go you're here, and then it's like,

637
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:21,960
Speaker 2: you know, that feeling is not the same from the

638
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:23,680
Speaker 2: first time, just like a crack here. You know you

639
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:28,439
Speaker 2: can't and you know and we all know this is

640
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:30,840
Speaker 2: a fact of life. Even your favorite food. Let's say

641
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:33,080
Speaker 2: your favorite food is macaroni and cheese. If you eat

642
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:34,840
Speaker 2: it every day for a month, is it the same

643
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:37,960
Speaker 2: as when you just really crave mac and cheese because

644
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,959
Speaker 2: you haven't had it in a while. No, it's different.

645
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:43,200
Speaker 3: Do you find that some in some some ways. Some

646
00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:47,320
Speaker 3: days you're like again, like that chemical cocktail is present

647
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:49,239
Speaker 3: for your husbands or one of the you know, like

648
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:51,040
Speaker 3: some day do you feel like you go in and

649
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:52,240
Speaker 3: out of love or you feel like that.

650
00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:54,440
Speaker 2: Well this is where marriage counselors come in and say, well,

651
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:57,320
Speaker 2: where's some different draws and go to a hotel, go

652
00:28:57,360 --> 00:28:59,560
Speaker 2: to Costa Rica, you know, go do the because it

653
00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:03,400
Speaker 2: will stimulate you in a different way. But the first

654
00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:06,880
Speaker 2: time cocktail chemical cocktail, because that cocktail is meant to

655
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:10,440
Speaker 2: bond you, and so it's gonna be strong. It's come

656
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:13,120
Speaker 2: as pumping, you know, but once you're bonded, it's not

657
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:14,400
Speaker 2: going to be at that same level.

658
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:17,480
Speaker 1: Doesn't need to be. I don't know why. As we

659
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:19,040
Speaker 1: got to ask the universe.

660
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:25,040
Speaker 2: Oh I know why, let me stop lying, because humans cannot.

661
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:33,280
Speaker 1: Exist without what love? What kept humans alive? Waterword, water

662
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:33,960
Speaker 1: and shelter?

663
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:39,360
Speaker 2: You said it community, tribe, you can You could not

664
00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:41,600
Speaker 2: exist today if it was just you two on the planet.

665
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:43,800
Speaker 1: You don't have enough resources to go.

666
00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:45,320
Speaker 2: Get to this and the food and to go get

667
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 2: the water. Humans need community to survive. So if we

668
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:52,640
Speaker 2: stayed at that in love with one person and tried

669
00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:55,480
Speaker 2: to run off in the sunset like gibbons. Gibbons are

670
00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:58,400
Speaker 2: real monogamous species. They live in a tree away from

671
00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:02,040
Speaker 2: everybody else. Humans have to have community to survive, so

672
00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:03,920
Speaker 2: that has to die down, so we go community.

673
00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:06,080
Speaker 3: You have to go bond with other people in order

674
00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:09,719
Speaker 3: to survive, and so your chemicals in your brain are saying, Okay,

675
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:12,800
Speaker 3: you've established this love of this person. Now these chemicals

676
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:14,360
Speaker 3: are going on off because you need to continue to

677
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:15,520
Speaker 3: create bonds with people.

678
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:18,520
Speaker 2: And it happened faster for men, and I think, no shit,

679
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:23,560
Speaker 2: Women keep it in place because we got more of

680
00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:29,320
Speaker 2: the subconscious like memories, and we've been instill with more romance.

681
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:31,120
Speaker 1: It's true we.

682
00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:34,000
Speaker 2: Socialize a different way, like yeah.

683
00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:35,640
Speaker 1: So we hold no.

684
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:38,840
Speaker 2: Baby dewey, Baby dewey, bitches love to hold on.

685
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:39,160
Speaker 1: Oh.

686
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:41,720
Speaker 2: It was hard with my husband when we transitioned into

687
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:44,640
Speaker 2: unconditional love because I just couldn't believe it.

688
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:48,560
Speaker 1: I could not believe this was happening. Was it a positive?

689
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:52,840
Speaker 1: Couldn't believe it or like a no? It was hardest sadness. Baby.

690
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:56,760
Speaker 1: I was not prepared for this. I did this on

691
00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:59,120
Speaker 1: my own. It was no polyamory groups, right.

692
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:03,360
Speaker 2: The first African American poly family to come out and

693
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:04,560
Speaker 2: say this out loud.

694
00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:06,880
Speaker 1: You understand. We were alone.

695
00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:10,080
Speaker 2: We started the first poly groups and it was just

696
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:13,320
Speaker 2: it was terrifying. I didn't know if this was gonna work.

697
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:17,200
Speaker 1: You're like, I hope right. I was just like, this

698
00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:17,920
Speaker 1: is hard.

699
00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:21,840
Speaker 2: But along the way we built every tool into it

700
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:24,280
Speaker 2: that we needed, and now we just wrote twelve books

701
00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:26,280
Speaker 2: about it and we helped thousands of couples with it.

702
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:28,040
Speaker 1: Twelve books. Wow, we've read a.

703
00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:28,720
Speaker 2: Lot of us now.

704
00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:31,520
Speaker 1: I think for the people listening to who are maybe

705
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:35,280
Speaker 1: interested in polyamory, or even just maybe listening and just

706
00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:39,120
Speaker 1: being like, what the fuck? How like for you on

707
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:42,880
Speaker 1: this journey of being in love and then transitioning into

708
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:45,480
Speaker 1: unconditional love and then like meeting other men and then

709
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:47,959
Speaker 1: being in love, has ever read a point where you

710
00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:51,840
Speaker 1: have felt like, especially in polyamory, because you have these

711
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:54,800
Speaker 1: different points of references right where you're like, oh damn, like,

712
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:57,320
Speaker 1: oh yeah, I like this feeling. I remember this feeling.

713
00:31:57,320 --> 00:32:00,080
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm not maybe this isn't working anymore, Maybe like

714
00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:03,000
Speaker 1: I need to move on from this relationship because now

715
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:06,320
Speaker 1: I have this feeling I mean love again, and maybe

716
00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:08,000
Speaker 1: I don't love you anymore? Maybe it's time for us

717
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:10,920
Speaker 1: to depart. Like we've we've, we've we've done the thing,

718
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:13,360
Speaker 1: you know, like, how do you how have you been

719
00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:15,640
Speaker 1: able to traverse that space? Because I think that's a

720
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:19,840
Speaker 1: natural a feeling, right, especially when you're getting that that

721
00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:23,680
Speaker 1: that about that boost of oxytocin and and all of that,

722
00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:26,240
Speaker 1: and that adrenaline that that new love gives you. Yes,

723
00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:29,920
Speaker 1: it's pumping. It's like a cocktail. I felt that way.

724
00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:33,360
Speaker 2: But I loved the feeling of unconditional love with my

725
00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:35,040
Speaker 2: husband once I saw that.

726
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:35,440
Speaker 1: My husband.

727
00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:37,680
Speaker 2: See, this was my issue, and this is why I

728
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:39,720
Speaker 2: didn't have sex the first time I came to California

729
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:41,560
Speaker 2: with that because I didn't know if he would respect

730
00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:42,440
Speaker 2: me afterwards.

731
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:46,840
Speaker 1: Your husband, Yes, most of them, Like I didn't know.

732
00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:49,480
Speaker 2: Oh, I'll take a puff if we if we taken

733
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:50,080
Speaker 2: a time.

734
00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:53,880
Speaker 1: Off, let me you know, let me take a puff.

735
00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:56,440
Speaker 1: Matter fact, we about to go deeper.

736
00:32:58,440 --> 00:32:59,000
Speaker 2: A cocktail.

737
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:01,560
Speaker 1: We have cock tales of joints. Here me and Mila.

738
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:04,440
Speaker 1: This is a real smoker's ash tray. We have about

739
00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:07,400
Speaker 1: four different different blunts that have a unsmoking Which one

740
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:10,600
Speaker 1: would you like? Close your eyes and pick one.

741
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:14,600
Speaker 2: Well, I saw y'all smoking on the show. I brought

742
00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:18,800
Speaker 2: my face. You don't have nothing good like that. But

743
00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:25,800
Speaker 2: what were you saying? I was saying that I didn't

744
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:28,520
Speaker 2: know what unconditional love felt.

745
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:29,680
Speaker 1: Like, and you were worried that he was going to

746
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:30,120
Speaker 1: judge you.

747
00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:33,920
Speaker 2: I was you would judge me, and that he would

748
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:36,120
Speaker 2: fall out of love because at that time, you know,

749
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:38,800
Speaker 2: we were just coming from being in love. What's next.

750
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:41,840
Speaker 2: I've never heard of unconditional love. I've never heard of

751
00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:45,280
Speaker 2: unconditional love. I don't know if my I just didn't

752
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:46,080
Speaker 2: know what it was.

753
00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:48,640
Speaker 1: Well, I think, especially in this society, people really tell

754
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:52,080
Speaker 1: you that unconditional love really only exists between children and

755
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:55,360
Speaker 1: like their parents that like it's it's always going to

756
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:56,720
Speaker 1: be somewhat conditional.

757
00:33:57,200 --> 00:33:58,200
Speaker 2: Or women to men.

758
00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:02,360
Speaker 3: Men rarely you really find men they're willing to be

759
00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:04,360
Speaker 3: have unconditioned love for women.

760
00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:07,120
Speaker 2: Women will forgive men time and time and time.

761
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:09,560
Speaker 3: After they cheat, after they are disloyal, after they're dishonest.

762
00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:12,399
Speaker 3: But if a woman does the same shit, fuck her, right,

763
00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:13,120
Speaker 3: she's a whore.

764
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:14,280
Speaker 2: Right, there's no recovery.

765
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:15,400
Speaker 1: There's no recovery.

766
00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:18,399
Speaker 3: That's what it was giving us, a recovery for women, right,

767
00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:20,520
Speaker 3: that sticks in us, even if you know your husband

768
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:23,080
Speaker 3: or you assume I'm disposable.

769
00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:25,480
Speaker 2: I guess I had watched enough TV, or heard that

770
00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:28,520
Speaker 2: from enough men, or just felt that so much from society.

771
00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:31,920
Speaker 2: I was just like, I can't do it. So once

772
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:33,600
Speaker 2: I did. Do you know?

773
00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:34,120
Speaker 1: Once?

774
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:37,520
Speaker 2: I did get with men after that experience, clearly? But man,

775
00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:40,200
Speaker 2: my husband's still loving me and still being willing to

776
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:42,200
Speaker 2: be with me like that, and still being willing to

777
00:34:42,239 --> 00:34:44,200
Speaker 2: be in my house and work and pay.

778
00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:46,440
Speaker 1: I never worked. I've never worked.

779
00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:50,120
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. I'm not losing that.

780
00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:54,080
Speaker 1: Right. Take me back home, right, give me back home

781
00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:54,760
Speaker 1: to my husband.

782
00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:59,640
Speaker 2: I have a comfortable home, beautiful life, three children, you

783
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:02,479
Speaker 2: know so. But yeah, but once I, once I felt

784
00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:05,680
Speaker 2: unconditional love, it feels just as good as being in love.

785
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:08,520
Speaker 2: It starts. It's not the same chemical cocktail.

786
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:11,080
Speaker 1: It's just a deep level of.

787
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:14,880
Speaker 2: Safety and comfort and the freedom to know you can

788
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:18,520
Speaker 2: be yourself is better. Like to me, it's better than

789
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:19,359
Speaker 2: being in love.

790
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:22,400
Speaker 1: In love, you got questions still in love? Is it

791
00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:23,919
Speaker 1: gonna last? In love?

792
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:24,480
Speaker 2: Is it gonna?

793
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:24,680
Speaker 1: You know?

794
00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:28,440
Speaker 2: Being unconditional love, I know that he would never leave me,

795
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:29,359
Speaker 2: and I would never leave him.

796
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:32,160
Speaker 1: We wouldn't have we wouldn't have a reason to, right right.

797
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:35,560
Speaker 1: I know that you do a lot of coaching for

798
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:39,360
Speaker 1: people that are, you know, in this interested or navigating

799
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:42,640
Speaker 1: polyamory of wanting to open up their marriages. What would

800
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:46,520
Speaker 1: you say, are like three three ways to know that

801
00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:48,680
Speaker 1: you're ready for this? Because I think a lot of

802
00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:50,200
Speaker 1: people are like, yeah, we could do it, like let's

803
00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:51,400
Speaker 1: do it, and then they get in there and then

804
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:53,880
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, way as a disaster zone because they

805
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:56,760
Speaker 1: haven't really fully considered what this actually entails.

806
00:35:56,960 --> 00:35:59,239
Speaker 2: Are there any like, yeah, they're not ready. We have

807
00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:03,239
Speaker 2: a four step path to open love. Step one is

808
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:07,879
Speaker 2: authentic communication. If you're not able to sit and fall

809
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:10,200
Speaker 2: apart in front of your partner and your partner holds

810
00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:12,960
Speaker 2: space for you, you're not ready. If you have to keep

811
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,200
Speaker 2: half of your brain to yourself because you're worried about

812
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:18,200
Speaker 2: being judged, you're not ready. If you need to sneak

813
00:36:18,239 --> 00:36:20,320
Speaker 2: around like people say they're Polly and they still cheating,

814
00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:25,480
Speaker 2: how you polly? Polyamory is a spirituality. It's a spiritual

815
00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:29,640
Speaker 2: practice of becoming authentic, becoming full of yourself, and embracing

816
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:32,360
Speaker 2: yourself so learning about that people that.

817
00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:34,120
Speaker 1: Okay, I got step one.

818
00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:36,440
Speaker 2: I'm already authentic because I say what I said on

819
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:36,879
Speaker 2: my mind.

820
00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:43,200
Speaker 1: That's not a gentlemen, are you hearing this? I authentically said,

821
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:47,839
Speaker 1: fucking giving sign me up, Polly right.

822
00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:52,960
Speaker 2: That's not authenticity. That is your ability to be radically honest.

823
00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:57,440
Speaker 2: But honesty is not really needed in polyamory. Authenticity is needed.

824
00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:00,440
Speaker 1: What's number two on this path? Oh?

825
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:03,640
Speaker 2: Number two on this path it gets a little bit deeper.

826
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:06,080
Speaker 2: I don't know if I can really go into each

827
00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:09,080
Speaker 2: of the steps. Because do you feel like you've ever

828
00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 2: had a relationship where you were fully authentic or where

829
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:14,959
Speaker 2: the person was fully authentic with you? Right now?

830
00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:19,120
Speaker 1: Now you do? Yeah, okay, how does it feel safe?

831
00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:23,920
Speaker 2: Yes, it feels empowering, supportive, free.

832
00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:25,400
Speaker 1: Yeah.

833
00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:28,840
Speaker 2: But two has to do with having friendships of the

834
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:32,160
Speaker 2: opposite sex, can you Because some marriages you can't even

835
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:33,040
Speaker 2: have a friend.

836
00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:35,239
Speaker 1: Oh, I mean that's I mean, that's all we hear.

837
00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:38,520
Speaker 1: I mean, that's that's what I not in our friend group.

838
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:40,239
Speaker 1: But what I see on the internet a lot is

839
00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:43,040
Speaker 1: just like he can't have no friends, she can't have

840
00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:46,719
Speaker 1: no homeboys. Like, yeah, you what you need a homeboyfriend

841
00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:49,360
Speaker 1: and I remember and I've had that experience too, like

842
00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:52,600
Speaker 1: even in my in my past relationships where actually just

843
00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:56,240
Speaker 1: my past relationship where my partner really was like didn't

844
00:37:56,320 --> 00:38:01,120
Speaker 1: understand why I needed male friends. And if he hadn't

845
00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:03,840
Speaker 1: heard of this name in the last six months, that

846
00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:06,120
Speaker 1: niggain's your friend. I never heard you talking about this nigga.

847
00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:07,400
Speaker 1: Who is this nigga? Oh wow?

848
00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:11,239
Speaker 2: And I'm like, no, it's nigga Allan on you a year.

849
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:13,640
Speaker 2: It's isolated, it's.

850
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:16,080
Speaker 3: Isolay, but it's also men saying I know men and

851
00:38:16,120 --> 00:38:17,680
Speaker 3: no man wants to be your friend. They want to

852
00:38:17,719 --> 00:38:20,080
Speaker 3: fuck you. Yeah, I've heard that men don't really want

853
00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:21,719
Speaker 3: to be your friend, they want to fuck you. And

854
00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:22,640
Speaker 3: I know because I'm a man.

855
00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:26,120
Speaker 2: Well, even if that's true, you're not. He doesn't trust

856
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:29,279
Speaker 2: that you're not going to right right. And now that

857
00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:33,480
Speaker 2: goes back to authentic communication because he's not authentically sharing that.

858
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:37,320
Speaker 2: He's afraid about that and that would hurt him very deeply.

859
00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:40,360
Speaker 2: And this is authenticity comes with vulnerability.

860
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:41,799
Speaker 1: If you're if you.

861
00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:44,120
Speaker 2: And your partner aren't really vulnerable with each other yet,

862
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:46,879
Speaker 2: you're just not ready for Polly because Polly is gonna

863
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:50,560
Speaker 2: break you down. It broke me all the way down

864
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:56,279
Speaker 2: to finding the core roots of my insecurity. Like in

865
00:38:56,320 --> 00:38:59,520
Speaker 2: my family growing up, for instance, I was the smart one.

866
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:02,880
Speaker 2: My sister was the pretty one. My sister's a pageant girl, honey,

867
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:06,560
Speaker 2: she five foot eleven, gorgeous. I was like, you know,

868
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:11,400
Speaker 2: five foot four, lets, you know.

869
00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:12,359
Speaker 1: And I didn't have.

870
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:14,879
Speaker 2: No friends like she had the in crowd everything. So

871
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:18,320
Speaker 2: every time my husband got a woman, I was my

872
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:24,239
Speaker 2: inner girl was surveying who's more beautiful here? Because if

873
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:26,680
Speaker 2: she was, then I felt like I was gonna get

874
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:29,200
Speaker 2: to ill treatment because my uncles will be over my sister,

875
00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:31,880
Speaker 2: she's so pretty and blah blah blah, and so my

876
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 2: little girl would be right there in the room m hm,

877
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:35,640
Speaker 2: who is.

878
00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:38,560
Speaker 1: On the top room here in terms of looks?

879
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:43,880
Speaker 2: And you have to start to heal that and start

880
00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:46,800
Speaker 2: to know those connections in order to be Polly.

881
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:49,920
Speaker 1: This is not a game. And the men have to

882
00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:52,279
Speaker 1: do it too, and they don't hardly do it with monogaphy.

883
00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:57,239
Speaker 3: And once you realize that, once you rooted it back

884
00:39:57,280 --> 00:39:59,719
Speaker 3: to that feeling and then what it's like, then how

885
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:03,000
Speaker 3: what is it required to then feed that little girl

886
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,040
Speaker 3: to heal a little girl like that is something like

887
00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:07,880
Speaker 3: the whole other set of you know tools.

888
00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:11,200
Speaker 2: That well, that's lacing, that's e ft, that's forgiveness work.

889
00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:15,120
Speaker 2: There's hundreds of modalities to do it. I do ceremonial work.

890
00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:16,799
Speaker 2: This is what I do with my clients because they

891
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:18,320
Speaker 2: come to me and say, we want to be Polly,

892
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:21,319
Speaker 2: and I'm like, okay, sit on down, we about to

893
00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:25,040
Speaker 2: do twelve months because you're gonna have to find these

894
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:27,680
Speaker 2: roots first. You're gonna have to be able to discuss

895
00:40:27,719 --> 00:40:31,000
Speaker 2: this with your partner first, where if something comes up

896
00:40:31,040 --> 00:40:32,680
Speaker 2: you say, oh my god, this is reminding me I'm

897
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:34,320
Speaker 2: in my little girl. I need help.

898
00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:37,799
Speaker 1: I need help is something a man has to say

899
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:41,280
Speaker 1: in Polly, who's ready? M I mean, I would imagine

900
00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:43,840
Speaker 1: so many people fall off. They're like, fuck this shit.

901
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:48,000
Speaker 2: Never mind, bitch sucking, never mind.

902
00:40:48,080 --> 00:40:50,080
Speaker 1: He's got me talking about I need help.

903
00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:51,440
Speaker 2: I didn't ask for that. I needed help.

904
00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:52,640
Speaker 1: I was getting pussy.

905
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:56,240
Speaker 2: That's why cheating is easier. And it's sixty six percent

906
00:40:56,239 --> 00:40:57,919
Speaker 2: of those married today are just doing that.

907
00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:02,200
Speaker 1: You know, Polly is a spiritual path. I never heard it.

908
00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 1: Doug talked about that way. That's an interesting, I guess

909
00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:10,000
Speaker 1: way to experience it or see it. And it makes

910
00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:13,600
Speaker 1: sense obviously too. You know that, like just being able

911
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:16,840
Speaker 1: to a be yourself number one is a spiritual act,

912
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:20,040
Speaker 1: and then just knowing that sexual energy is the most

913
00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:23,080
Speaker 1: powerful energy in the world. So then weaving those things together,

914
00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:24,640
Speaker 1: I mean, and I'm sure there's even more things that

915
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:27,920
Speaker 1: we've into Polly that it does. It creates this this

916
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:31,560
Speaker 1: spiritual energy that when you are able to share with

917
00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:34,320
Speaker 1: one person, I'm sure that you've had moments of extreme

918
00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:37,800
Speaker 1: like feelings of ecstasy and euphoria in your life because

919
00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:40,800
Speaker 1: you're able to be yourself. Oh my god, said yourself.

920
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:43,279
Speaker 2: Every year I got younger when we were probably I

921
00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:45,759
Speaker 2: was getting older. I was getting older than you know,

922
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:47,719
Speaker 2: I stopped being able to fuck who I want to fuck.

923
00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:49,239
Speaker 1: Then I was.

924
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:53,479
Speaker 2: Like my body myself and you love me, You're here,

925
00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:56,279
Speaker 2: Like this was beyond And that's why I'm such an

926
00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:58,919
Speaker 2: advocate of it. A lot of women used to tell me, Oh.

927
00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:00,719
Speaker 1: You're just doing that because your husband wants to do it.

928
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:13,200
Speaker 2: No, baby, Like, okay, I'm doing I'm freak just because

929
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:15,480
Speaker 2: my husband wants me to be freaking. No, I'm a human.

930
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:17,600
Speaker 1: I like freedom and again, and these are This is

931
00:42:17,640 --> 00:42:20,480
Speaker 1: another misconception of polyamory. I think there's because there's so

932
00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:23,960
Speaker 1: much shame around just just sex in general, like the

933
00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:28,680
Speaker 1: the idea of a woman like actually be seeking seeking

934
00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:31,440
Speaker 1: pleasure in her own way and enjoying it and saying

935
00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:33,319
Speaker 1: I like that dick, and I also like that dick,

936
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:35,200
Speaker 1: and I want to know what that dick's like. Like,

937
00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:39,200
Speaker 1: we're not supposed to ever say those things. No, everyone never,

938
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:40,479
Speaker 1: They only want one dick forever.

939
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:43,920
Speaker 2: What are you imagine the man? Imagine the man.

940
00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:46,120
Speaker 1: And that the man is like, im no, no, no no.

941
00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:48,000
Speaker 2: The judgment that the man receives.

942
00:42:48,040 --> 00:42:49,799
Speaker 3: But if you're like, if you're the wife that's like,

943
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:53,839
Speaker 3: oh yeah, my man allows this. The type of man

944
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:55,799
Speaker 3: you have to be to stand in that and you're like, yeah,

945
00:42:55,840 --> 00:42:58,440
Speaker 3: because I respect my woman and she's coming back to

946
00:42:58,480 --> 00:43:01,160
Speaker 3: me and X Y and Z. It requires a whole

947
00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:03,719
Speaker 3: other level of things because you have to be mad

948
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:05,719
Speaker 3: enough to not be like tam everybody thinks I have

949
00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:06,760
Speaker 3: a woman's a whore.

950
00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:09,440
Speaker 2: Right, and I'm spoiled in that way because my husband's

951
00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:14,120
Speaker 2: a Gemini. So geminis and typically are not super possessive anyway.

952
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:17,400
Speaker 2: So they do have OCD though. So he does like

953
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:19,360
Speaker 2: everything in the house to be you know, like everything

954
00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:22,399
Speaker 2: to look good and feel good and like we're upstanding.

955
00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:24,400
Speaker 1: You can't look at me and say, oh, look at that.

956
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:27,359
Speaker 2: No, look at this paid ass bitch who got three

957
00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:30,839
Speaker 2: companies who run businesses in Africa in the US, and

958
00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:33,080
Speaker 2: all my husband's wives and all my husbands work for me.

959
00:43:33,160 --> 00:43:36,080
Speaker 2: So you're not looking at what you're typically looking at

960
00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:38,359
Speaker 2: when you think of a sex pot, you know.

961
00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:40,279
Speaker 1: So that's been a benefit for me.

962
00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:43,880
Speaker 2: The other thing I will tell y'all is my ancestors

963
00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:46,640
Speaker 2: told me again back to the spiritual path of Polly

964
00:43:47,239 --> 00:43:49,600
Speaker 2: once I started to meet people, because you asked, well,

965
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:51,160
Speaker 2: what do you do if you're in love with this

966
00:43:51,239 --> 00:43:53,640
Speaker 2: one and you're not in love with your husband? She

967
00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:57,400
Speaker 2: told me, Honey, women used to understand this system, and

968
00:43:57,480 --> 00:44:01,560
Speaker 2: I call this system the feminine choice Paard. So she said,

969
00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:04,080
Speaker 2: one of your chakras are going to be spinning when

970
00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:06,520
Speaker 2: you meet any man. When you meet a man that

971
00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:09,160
Speaker 2: you want to have sex with, instantly your root chakra spinning.

972
00:44:09,239 --> 00:44:12,040
Speaker 2: You can feel it, you can feel the engorgement. You

973
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:13,759
Speaker 2: can also know that if he asked me to go

974
00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:14,240
Speaker 2: home tonight.

975
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:15,920
Speaker 1: I'm going home. I will ride his dick tonight.

976
00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:19,920
Speaker 2: Like you know that, you know, yeah. But also when

977
00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:21,879
Speaker 2: you meet a man who is spinning your.

978
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:24,239
Speaker 1: Crown chakra, you know it. He's a guru, like.

979
00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:25,600
Speaker 2: I want to learn from him, like I want to

980
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:26,000
Speaker 2: know more.

981
00:44:26,120 --> 00:44:27,479
Speaker 1: I've known him in a past life.

982
00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:29,040
Speaker 2: Like we just talk and I orgasm.

983
00:44:29,160 --> 00:44:31,360
Speaker 1: But you know which chakra is spinning.

984
00:44:31,480 --> 00:44:33,960
Speaker 2: She told me this, Your hard chakra be spinding with

985
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:37,640
Speaker 2: the ones use friend zone because they're emotionally responsible and

986
00:44:37,719 --> 00:44:40,200
Speaker 2: they are accountable and they will be there if you're hurting.

987
00:44:40,719 --> 00:44:41,600
Speaker 1: That's a heart chakra.

988
00:44:41,640 --> 00:44:45,160
Speaker 2: I call it support choice, so womb choice, support choice,

989
00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:48,520
Speaker 2: crown choice and all. There's nine choices. And this is

990
00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:52,439
Speaker 2: another art that women need to remember, because once I did,

991
00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:56,840
Speaker 2: I stopped trying to get all of them from one person, okay,

992
00:44:57,560 --> 00:44:59,359
Speaker 2: because they not all spinning with one man.

993
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:02,560
Speaker 3: I mean, it's so interesting because like as a as

994
00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:05,600
Speaker 3: a as a woman, you know, there's certain things that

995
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:07,680
Speaker 3: we know, and there's certain like even there's there was

996
00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:09,239
Speaker 3: I'm a sexual woman.

997
00:45:09,320 --> 00:45:09,839
Speaker 2: There came a.

998
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:11,960
Speaker 3: Point in my life and I realize, like, bitch, just

999
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:14,440
Speaker 3: because something's going off in you doesn't mean you need

1000
00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:14,920
Speaker 3: to fuck it.

1001
00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:19,440
Speaker 2: Yes, literally, because I would just be like huh m

1002
00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:20,520
Speaker 2: hmm something about that.

1003
00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:22,640
Speaker 3: I like, you know, like there's like a conqueror, Like

1004
00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:24,759
Speaker 3: we are the hunters in ways, and so at a

1005
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:26,879
Speaker 3: certain age, I'm like, bitch, no, you need to sit down.

1006
00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:30,000
Speaker 3: Like everybody's not everyone you're attracted you. Every flower doesn't

1007
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:30,640
Speaker 3: need to be picked.

1008
00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:30,840
Speaker 1: You know.

1009
00:45:30,960 --> 00:45:32,960
Speaker 2: We know we're the hunters because we're the ones making

1010
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:37,120
Speaker 2: the choice. Yes, and those men will serve any of us. Yeah,

1011
00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:39,000
Speaker 2: let me tell you what. Ask them.

1012
00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:41,040
Speaker 1: They will serve any of us, But it's not us

1013
00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:42,120
Speaker 1: who will serve any of them.

1014
00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:45,040
Speaker 2: We have to be spending somewhere. And yes it's not

1015
00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:46,400
Speaker 2: always about sex.

1016
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:49,359
Speaker 3: But there is also a level of unlockment. Like I

1017
00:45:49,360 --> 00:45:51,880
Speaker 3: I like Orlando is such a free man and it

1018
00:45:51,920 --> 00:45:54,640
Speaker 3: really allows me to be myself that it's so safe.

1019
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:55,759
Speaker 1: It makes me so.

1020
00:45:57,160 --> 00:46:01,000
Speaker 2: Like even more dedicated and loyal.

1021
00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:02,920
Speaker 3: To him because even like I told you that that

1022
00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:06,640
Speaker 3: morning after we did that, he gave me my fantasy fulfilledment,

1023
00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:07,600
Speaker 3: I literally woke.

1024
00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:10,520
Speaker 1: Up and I was like, I love him.

1025
00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:12,120
Speaker 2: I was like, this is why I tell you not

1026
00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:12,600
Speaker 2: to do this.

1027
00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:15,120
Speaker 3: Like I feel like something shifted to me spiritually, Like

1028
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:16,640
Speaker 3: even in the middle of the thing, I was like

1029
00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:18,800
Speaker 3: telling both of the men, I'm like, this is healing

1030
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:19,480
Speaker 3: something for me.

1031
00:46:19,640 --> 00:46:21,799
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm really grateful. I love you both.

1032
00:46:22,320 --> 00:46:25,799
Speaker 3: Thank you for this, because I don't feel I don't

1033
00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:29,680
Speaker 3: feel disposable for being free in my sexual and that's

1034
00:46:29,680 --> 00:46:31,920
Speaker 3: my high if you think about women, like we birth

1035
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:34,320
Speaker 3: so like that's our highest creativity. I feel like something

1036
00:46:34,360 --> 00:46:37,120
Speaker 3: literally was unlocked, and I I think somewhere during it,

1037
00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:38,719
Speaker 3: I was like, oh my god, this is why they

1038
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:39,399
Speaker 3: tell women not.

1039
00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:39,880
Speaker 1: To do this.

1040
00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:43,319
Speaker 3: Like I literally couldn't wait to fucking tell anybody. I

1041
00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:45,719
Speaker 3: call people the next day and some people were like, what,

1042
00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:46,680
Speaker 3: like are they to do?

1043
00:46:46,719 --> 00:46:47,479
Speaker 1: What? Bitch?

1044
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:49,560
Speaker 2: Did you hear what I said? I found that the

1045
00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:53,800
Speaker 2: more I got to experience what I chose, not what

1046
00:46:53,960 --> 00:46:55,960
Speaker 2: somebody choose. And when you get married, your husband could

1047
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:57,279
Speaker 2: choose I want to have sex, and now you may

1048
00:46:57,320 --> 00:46:59,880
Speaker 2: not feel like it, you're a bad wife. But I

1049
00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:05,279
Speaker 2: never I stopped having obligatory sex with Paul Amory, Like,

1050
00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:07,560
Speaker 2: never do I have to have sex if I don't

1051
00:47:07,640 --> 00:47:08,120
Speaker 2: want to?

1052
00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:10,680
Speaker 1: Why is that a revolutionary concert?

1053
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:14,000
Speaker 2: Like we had we were doing that before, but anyway,

1054
00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:17,720
Speaker 2: once I found out about my own choice, it fed

1055
00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:20,640
Speaker 2: me in a way that it's just made me so creative.

1056
00:47:20,719 --> 00:47:22,960
Speaker 2: It made me successful, It filled my bank account, it

1057
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:24,640
Speaker 2: made me be able to travel the world. It made

1058
00:47:24,680 --> 00:47:25,040
Speaker 2: me start.

1059
00:47:25,239 --> 00:47:28,400
Speaker 1: You start attracting that energy that I can have whatever

1060
00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:30,600
Speaker 1: I want. So yeah, it just it just continues again.

1061
00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:34,920
Speaker 2: It less than my menopause. So wow, I got it

1062
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:39,040
Speaker 2: at forty four, Like I'm done.

1063
00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:41,440
Speaker 1: I was like, yes, like it was.

1064
00:47:41,480 --> 00:47:43,560
Speaker 2: It's just put me on a different trajectory. Has that

1065
00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:46,239
Speaker 2: changed your sex drive a lot? It amps it up,

1066
00:47:46,480 --> 00:47:49,759
Speaker 2: but everybody's amped up by thirty nine. Every woman sex

1067
00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:52,759
Speaker 2: drive goes up before menopause because it's like the body saying, Okay,

1068
00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:54,480
Speaker 2: come on, let's get this, get this. We about to

1069
00:47:54,520 --> 00:47:57,959
Speaker 2: be done. So you amp up anyway, But yeah, mine

1070
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:00,160
Speaker 2: amped up and stayed up. I don't understand any thing

1071
00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:02,480
Speaker 2: women are talking about with the men of palace hormone.

1072
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:04,960
Speaker 2: I'm like, what are they?

1073
00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:08,080
Speaker 1: I'm like, are they having sex? No? No, they're not,

1074
00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:09,480
Speaker 1: they're not.

1075
00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:11,440
Speaker 2: Well, if I couldn't choose who to have sex with,

1076
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:14,040
Speaker 2: I probably wouldn't be having sex either. True.

1077
00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:17,840
Speaker 1: So with okay, you said earlier, you have four husbands

1078
00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:22,560
Speaker 1: and boyfriends. They're just boyfriends have boyfriends. I can't count them.

1079
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:26,080
Speaker 2: Is there a hierarchy, No, I don't believe in hierarchy.

1080
00:48:26,160 --> 00:48:28,720
Speaker 2: They're all I don't have, like a primary. So your

1081
00:48:28,760 --> 00:48:31,520
Speaker 2: thirty year husband and KRL's not your primary. No, he

1082
00:48:31,680 --> 00:48:33,440
Speaker 2: just got married to somebody else and went and lived

1083
00:48:33,480 --> 00:48:34,360
Speaker 2: with her for two years.

1084
00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:36,280
Speaker 1: Oh he did, yeah, but he was back and forth.

1085
00:48:36,440 --> 00:48:38,800
Speaker 2: I don't want to claim somebody as a primary because

1086
00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:42,719
Speaker 2: it becomes obligatory. It's not that I don't believe in hierarchy.

1087
00:48:42,719 --> 00:48:44,760
Speaker 2: I don't believe in obligatory anything.

1088
00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:48,000
Speaker 1: Are there are your husbands or even the boyfriends that

1089
00:48:48,040 --> 00:48:50,640
Speaker 1: you have, do they Are they already kind of I

1090
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:53,359
Speaker 1: guess in the world of polyamory, or are you kind

1091
00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:55,479
Speaker 1: of like bringing them into this world and then they're

1092
00:48:55,760 --> 00:48:56,840
Speaker 1: learning through you.

1093
00:48:57,480 --> 00:48:59,759
Speaker 2: I would love to meet men who are already into

1094
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:02,560
Speaker 2: baby But our charge as women, as we have to

1095
00:49:02,719 --> 00:49:05,680
Speaker 2: educate because our men, we have to understand.

1096
00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:07,279
Speaker 1: I hear the influencers saying.

1097
00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:09,520
Speaker 2: Men did this and decenter men blah blah. I'm like,

1098
00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:10,399
Speaker 2: what are you talking about?

1099
00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:12,040
Speaker 1: Have you looked at what we've been through for the

1100
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:13,240
Speaker 1: past four hundred years?

1101
00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:16,040
Speaker 2: And then women were the only ones Black women were

1102
00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:20,040
Speaker 2: thrusting through education, so we have an advantage, like in

1103
00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:24,359
Speaker 2: terms of education, I love educating men about this and

1104
00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:27,319
Speaker 2: I have to None of them that I've ever met

1105
00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:32,640
Speaker 2: knew anything about this world came ready like're like ready made. Yeah,

1106
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:35,840
Speaker 2: men don't even come ready made for basic monogamous marriage.

1107
00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:40,960
Speaker 1: They really they're not. Yeah, none of us really are

1108
00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:43,520
Speaker 1: women either that way. Yeah, it's not so.

1109
00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:45,320
Speaker 2: I wish we could have a little bit more empathy

1110
00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:49,200
Speaker 2: and compassion for men and for everyone and for ourselves.

1111
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:52,040
Speaker 2: Are I mean, are all your kids, Polly.

1112
00:49:52,160 --> 00:49:54,200
Speaker 3: I know your daughter is because I watched her uncoupled

1113
00:49:54,239 --> 00:49:56,920
Speaker 3: the trouble and Thumple and that was that was I

1114
00:49:56,960 --> 00:49:59,759
Speaker 3: was really locked into that season. But I'm doing about

1115
00:49:59,760 --> 00:50:02,600
Speaker 3: the boo because I'm thinking as a mom of a daughter,

1116
00:50:03,719 --> 00:50:05,440
Speaker 3: and you know, I'm a pretty free woman, and I

1117
00:50:05,480 --> 00:50:07,839
Speaker 3: so I see how my daughter is empowered by that.

1118
00:50:07,920 --> 00:50:12,279
Speaker 3: But to experience the dynamics of a relationship like you

1119
00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:14,960
Speaker 3: and your husband, like I guess we talked about in

1120
00:50:15,160 --> 00:50:17,319
Speaker 3: love like this is like a lot of you know you,

1121
00:50:17,719 --> 00:50:19,640
Speaker 3: a lot of you getting to this place stem from

1122
00:50:20,040 --> 00:50:24,280
Speaker 3: seeing the like how fucked up your family became because

1123
00:50:24,280 --> 00:50:28,000
Speaker 3: of infidelity. Like lots of families are just fucked infidelity

1124
00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:30,520
Speaker 3: and they don't recognize it's a poison. And so you're like,

1125
00:50:30,600 --> 00:50:32,560
Speaker 3: let me talk to if you talk about generational wealth

1126
00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:35,080
Speaker 3: and building and changing generational cycles, you.

1127
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:37,359
Speaker 2: Have to you have to kill the thing that doesn't work.

1128
00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:40,400
Speaker 3: And like I'm wondering from a you know, from am

1129
00:50:40,560 --> 00:50:41,759
Speaker 3: I understand from a woman?

1130
00:50:41,920 --> 00:50:44,680
Speaker 2: I saw her on the show and she's very little

1131
00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:48,719
Speaker 2: baby yeah, oh yeah yeah. For the for the boys too,

1132
00:50:48,880 --> 00:50:51,279
Speaker 2: how have like? How have them? How them?

1133
00:50:51,600 --> 00:50:52,440
Speaker 1: Am high?

1134
00:50:52,560 --> 00:50:56,320
Speaker 2: My youngest son is engaged. No, my oldest son is engaged,

1135
00:50:56,440 --> 00:50:57,880
Speaker 2: and he's like works it.

1136
00:50:58,239 --> 00:51:01,040
Speaker 1: He lives in Detroit, Michigan. The girl because she's just

1137
00:51:01,120 --> 00:51:01,400
Speaker 1: like me.

1138
00:51:01,800 --> 00:51:03,440
Speaker 2: You know, you want your son to be with somebody

1139
00:51:03,440 --> 00:51:07,000
Speaker 2: who got She's like witchy and like sort of same

1140
00:51:07,040 --> 00:51:07,960
Speaker 2: skin complexion.

1141
00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:11,479
Speaker 1: I just love her. I'm like your son.

1142
00:51:11,760 --> 00:51:14,879
Speaker 2: He's twenty six, okay. Then my middle daughter you know her,

1143
00:51:14,920 --> 00:51:17,080
Speaker 2: she's a poll love coach. So I knew the poly fairy.

1144
00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:20,480
Speaker 2: Then my youngest son is twenty one and he is fine.

1145
00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:22,080
Speaker 1: He's polly.

1146
00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:25,000
Speaker 2: He still lives with me, and my friend came over

1147
00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:25,919
Speaker 2: and wanted to date him.

1148
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:26,879
Speaker 1: She's like thirty five.

1149
00:51:27,239 --> 00:51:29,600
Speaker 2: I said, go here, honey. He needs lessons, baby, But

1150
00:51:29,719 --> 00:51:32,399
Speaker 2: he has multiple partners. I don't know if he would

1151
00:51:32,440 --> 00:51:37,040
Speaker 2: call himself polyamorous because he calls all of his partners casually.

1152
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:40,319
Speaker 1: He's like sony one. He's a kid.

1153
00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:42,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's all one.

1154
00:51:44,680 --> 00:51:46,719
Speaker 1: I'm fine, I'm single. Mind.

1155
00:51:46,719 --> 00:51:48,120
Speaker 2: I'm gonna give you all the picture so you can

1156
00:51:48,160 --> 00:51:48,680
Speaker 2: show it like.

1157
00:51:48,719 --> 00:51:50,400
Speaker 1: He's he's not.

1158
00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:51,440
Speaker 4: Ye.

1159
00:51:53,320 --> 00:51:55,080
Speaker 1: Listen, the moms will come. Mmm.

1160
00:51:56,120 --> 00:51:56,760
Speaker 2: That's great.

1161
00:51:57,000 --> 00:52:00,319
Speaker 3: Great, And we need more boys to see man, you know,

1162
00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:02,959
Speaker 3: just accepting women in there, in there.

1163
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:05,560
Speaker 2: That's why I'm so proud of my husband. He has

1164
00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:08,439
Speaker 2: been through the ring or with men, all the things.

1165
00:52:08,480 --> 00:52:10,800
Speaker 2: I mean, I have to just millions of nasty comments

1166
00:52:10,840 --> 00:52:11,880
Speaker 2: over the past twenty.

1167
00:52:11,719 --> 00:52:15,759
Speaker 1: Years as we have birth this into reality.

1168
00:52:15,800 --> 00:52:17,600
Speaker 2: You understand this is a reality now that women are

1169
00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:20,400
Speaker 2: not playing a game men. No, they'll cheap back. Oh

1170
00:52:20,440 --> 00:52:22,880
Speaker 2: they got a gaggle, Oh they date multiples. Yes we

1171
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:26,319
Speaker 2: are because guess what a warrior stood up.

1172
00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:27,920
Speaker 1: And I will do it again.

1173
00:52:28,160 --> 00:52:30,200
Speaker 2: If I had to rewind those twenty years, I would

1174
00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:32,719
Speaker 2: do it again to see where we are now. Like

1175
00:52:32,840 --> 00:52:36,320
Speaker 2: this is beautiful. But my husband, he's just a trooper.

1176
00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:41,279
Speaker 2: He's a trooper. He's my best friend. You've probably never

1177
00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:44,360
Speaker 2: felt like this person will never leave my side.

1178
00:52:44,760 --> 00:52:47,640
Speaker 1: There's nothing I can do. Does he have community himself? Like,

1179
00:52:47,640 --> 00:52:50,640
Speaker 1: does he have a I don't know, like a group

1180
00:52:50,680 --> 00:52:53,160
Speaker 1: of men that are also poly Because you guys have

1181
00:52:53,160 --> 00:52:55,440
Speaker 1: built such a beautiful community. I'm just curious if like

1182
00:52:56,760 --> 00:52:58,799
Speaker 1: he need like does he need that support? Like who

1183
00:52:58,840 --> 00:53:01,120
Speaker 1: does he lean on besides you in those times and

1184
00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:04,239
Speaker 1: have it like a like a homeboy or how does

1185
00:53:04,280 --> 00:53:06,200
Speaker 1: that work? No, we all need community.

1186
00:53:06,280 --> 00:53:09,960
Speaker 2: He has boys, we have big community groups, we do events,

1187
00:53:10,080 --> 00:53:13,320
Speaker 2: we have we've run communities for the past fifteen years.

1188
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:17,719
Speaker 2: So we you know, we cannot exist without community. His

1189
00:53:17,840 --> 00:53:18,520
Speaker 2: women's support.

1190
00:53:18,640 --> 00:53:20,840
Speaker 1: I say this, I mean it definitely requires you to

1191
00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:22,399
Speaker 1: be able to be held, not to not.

1192
00:53:22,360 --> 00:53:24,040
Speaker 2: Be one of them guys to say nobody can know

1193
00:53:24,080 --> 00:53:27,799
Speaker 2: my business. People have to know your business. We want

1194
00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:31,560
Speaker 2: to know you, right right. That's what community is. We

1195
00:53:31,680 --> 00:53:35,680
Speaker 2: know one another right right. So it's it's it's it's

1196
00:53:35,680 --> 00:53:38,720
Speaker 2: it's a leap. Are him and Tiger friends good friends?

1197
00:53:38,880 --> 00:53:39,399
Speaker 1: Oh? My god?

1198
00:53:39,480 --> 00:53:41,760
Speaker 2: Yes, me and Tiger wouldn't be together without my husband.

1199
00:53:42,120 --> 00:53:46,880
Speaker 2: Tiger is Tiger, my younger husband, Okay, Tiger was a

1200
00:53:46,880 --> 00:53:50,320
Speaker 2: womb choice being a problem.

1201
00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:52,080
Speaker 1: Womb choice is tumultuous.

1202
00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:53,960
Speaker 2: So when you get with a womb choice, you know,

1203
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:56,920
Speaker 2: because you're crazy, all of a sudden you bluop to

1204
00:53:56,960 --> 00:54:07,759
Speaker 2: say yesterday you had some some about yourself today And see,

1205
00:54:07,800 --> 00:54:10,520
Speaker 2: I wish women didn't feel shame if they just understand.

1206
00:54:10,960 --> 00:54:16,240
Speaker 1: That's what they call digmatized. Yeah, it's a healthy version

1207
00:54:16,280 --> 00:54:21,080
Speaker 1: of digmatizing. This is when you're rebranding digmatizing bitches.

1208
00:54:21,080 --> 00:54:24,480
Speaker 3: You've we're heeled a little bit, so now you've done

1209
00:54:24,480 --> 00:54:27,520
Speaker 3: the work, it will go from digmatized too.

1210
00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:30,720
Speaker 2: Choice digmatized is when you're like that and you aren't

1211
00:54:30,760 --> 00:54:33,480
Speaker 2: aware and conscious of it. Womb choices when you know

1212
00:54:33,560 --> 00:54:36,080
Speaker 2: it's bring and bring up your daddy issues. Womb choice

1213
00:54:36,080 --> 00:54:37,160
Speaker 2: bring up your daddy is.

1214
00:54:37,160 --> 00:54:39,200
Speaker 1: I don't know. I feel like it could be both, bitch,

1215
00:54:39,320 --> 00:54:43,279
Speaker 1: because I've done the woman and they've both been digmatized.

1216
00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:45,600
Speaker 2: Which one you you only choose womb choices.

1217
00:54:45,719 --> 00:54:47,200
Speaker 1: I knew that I was walking with a nigga that

1218
00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:49,400
Speaker 1: was fucking me good, but it was also bringing up

1219
00:54:49,560 --> 00:54:51,920
Speaker 1: like trauma and triggers, and I kept doing it because

1220
00:54:51,960 --> 00:54:55,560
Speaker 1: it felt good in him, in me it brought up

1221
00:54:55,560 --> 00:54:58,040
Speaker 1: your deaf issues. Yeah, that's what warm choice.

1222
00:54:57,840 --> 00:54:58,440
Speaker 2: Is supposed to do.

1223
00:54:58,760 --> 00:55:00,680
Speaker 1: No, that wasn't It was stigmatized.

1224
00:55:02,120 --> 00:55:05,160
Speaker 2: Healthy choice, Yes, a healthy choice.

1225
00:55:04,840 --> 00:55:11,440
Speaker 1: That brought them the trigger. Technically, when this happened, I

1226
00:55:11,480 --> 00:55:12,640
Speaker 1: had done a lot of work.

1227
00:55:12,840 --> 00:55:15,120
Speaker 2: I was actively choosing to be taking It was a test.

1228
00:55:15,800 --> 00:55:18,880
Speaker 1: But did you know right right?

1229
00:55:19,000 --> 00:55:21,880
Speaker 2: And your wound was giving you healing. It's still healing

1230
00:55:21,920 --> 00:55:24,319
Speaker 2: even if it is digmatized. I hear men say, well,

1231
00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:27,800
Speaker 2: she made the wrong choice. She choosing the wrong men. Baby,

1232
00:55:27,840 --> 00:55:30,760
Speaker 2: every experience is here to grow us. Goot mom's bad choices.

1233
00:55:30,800 --> 00:55:31,640
Speaker 1: Thank you.

1234
00:55:31,920 --> 00:55:33,480
Speaker 3: You have to make the You have to make the

1235
00:55:33,520 --> 00:55:36,040
Speaker 3: bad choices to go into the better to to pulch

1236
00:55:36,040 --> 00:55:36,920
Speaker 3: you into the better place.

1237
00:55:37,080 --> 00:55:39,880
Speaker 2: Right, the lesson is where the lesson is, where the

1238
00:55:39,960 --> 00:55:43,160
Speaker 2: juice is. But when you are aware, I just met

1239
00:55:43,160 --> 00:55:45,480
Speaker 2: me a warm choice and not one. But I'm very aware,

1240
00:55:45,920 --> 00:55:47,840
Speaker 2: So I know that he's going to bring out my

1241
00:55:47,920 --> 00:55:50,720
Speaker 2: daddy issues is going to come up. So I'm taking

1242
00:55:50,719 --> 00:55:53,160
Speaker 2: this slow. You understand there was a time I couldn't

1243
00:55:53,160 --> 00:55:53,880
Speaker 2: take it slow.

1244
00:55:53,920 --> 00:55:54,759
Speaker 1: Like why did he call me?

1245
00:55:54,760 --> 00:55:57,480
Speaker 2: We met last night of the club, Like I'm hurry up,

1246
00:55:57,520 --> 00:55:59,840
Speaker 2: Like I like this guy, you know, but then you

1247
00:55:59,880 --> 00:56:03,400
Speaker 2: start to measure and temper yourself when you understand it,

1248
00:56:03,440 --> 00:56:04,720
Speaker 2: when you're doing it all the time.

1249
00:56:05,640 --> 00:56:08,319
Speaker 3: There's ever a point where Carl's like, I don't want

1250
00:56:08,320 --> 00:56:10,160
Speaker 3: to hear about one more boyfriend you met this week,

1251
00:56:10,239 --> 00:56:11,400
Speaker 3: you caause your boyfriends.

1252
00:56:11,440 --> 00:56:13,160
Speaker 2: We need about one month and no boyfriends.

1253
00:56:13,239 --> 00:56:14,520
Speaker 1: Well, he's like that with Tiger.

1254
00:56:14,640 --> 00:56:17,640
Speaker 2: He really has to have He stopped fights, you know,

1255
00:56:17,680 --> 00:56:18,960
Speaker 2: he stopped Melei.

1256
00:56:19,400 --> 00:56:23,400
Speaker 1: He's he's really coached Tiger and coached us when we

1257
00:56:23,440 --> 00:56:25,960
Speaker 1: need help. He sit us down, just like between you guys,

1258
00:56:27,040 --> 00:56:29,120
Speaker 1: between Tiger and me, and he's coaching y'all.

1259
00:56:29,200 --> 00:56:33,719
Speaker 3: Yes, oh wow, can you imagine your husband listen, let

1260
00:56:33,719 --> 00:56:36,040
Speaker 3: me tell you and not be biased because it's your husband.

1261
00:56:36,040 --> 00:56:39,480
Speaker 2: Like but but I get his I get his ladies

1262
00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:43,000
Speaker 2: calling me all the damn time too. I get his

1263
00:56:43,120 --> 00:56:47,799
Speaker 2: ladies calling me too. Carol, did this He's not calling me.

1264
00:56:48,040 --> 00:56:51,760
Speaker 2: Your husband's not talking to me, what you know talking.

1265
00:56:53,000 --> 00:56:55,200
Speaker 1: See, I'm gonna just be honest with your candy right

1266
00:56:55,200 --> 00:56:57,759
Speaker 1: nowt This does not sound appealing to me. This is

1267
00:56:57,800 --> 00:57:00,440
Speaker 1: talking me off. The CALLI lags because I don't have

1268
00:57:00,520 --> 00:57:02,719
Speaker 1: time for I married time for my friends to call

1269
00:57:02,760 --> 00:57:04,960
Speaker 1: me with their problem. I'd be like, you call me

1270
00:57:04,960 --> 00:57:08,439
Speaker 1: about my nigga? Why I don't got to figure it out.

1271
00:57:08,840 --> 00:57:13,160
Speaker 2: We're like, we're on good terms right now. Girl, girl

1272
00:57:13,320 --> 00:57:15,839
Speaker 2: called me and say your husband won't pick up the phone.

1273
00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:17,720
Speaker 2: I've called him one hundred and twenty five times. Can

1274
00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:19,800
Speaker 2: you get Can you imagine? I know he's right next

1275
00:57:19,800 --> 00:57:20,000
Speaker 2: to you.

1276
00:57:20,560 --> 00:57:23,000
Speaker 1: That's what she said, Baby, we gotta change our number now.

1277
00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:24,080
Speaker 1: Absolutely not.

1278
00:57:24,680 --> 00:57:26,520
Speaker 2: But this is what I'm saying. I'm glad is talk

1279
00:57:26,600 --> 00:57:29,280
Speaker 2: you off the ledge of Polly because nobody's ready. You

1280
00:57:29,400 --> 00:57:31,640
Speaker 2: have to understand that your animal will come up.

1281
00:57:31,960 --> 00:57:32,600
Speaker 1: All of our.

1282
00:57:32,480 --> 00:57:35,240
Speaker 2: Traumas come up through that they already come up in

1283
00:57:35,280 --> 00:57:36,040
Speaker 2: monogamy as you know.

1284
00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:38,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I felt like maybe I could do Polly

1285
00:57:38,160 --> 00:57:42,000
Speaker 1: because I'm a voyeur. And I'm also not that that

1286
00:57:42,040 --> 00:57:44,280
Speaker 1: this is this These are the misconceptions that I'm saying,

1287
00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:48,160
Speaker 1: Like me thinking like these my kink's equal Polly.

1288
00:57:47,920 --> 00:57:50,360
Speaker 2: You know, just now to play parties, right, just need

1289
00:57:50,440 --> 00:57:52,400
Speaker 2: a play parties puddles.

1290
00:57:52,120 --> 00:57:56,000
Speaker 1: And also I do I I yeah, no, No.

1291
00:57:56,080 --> 00:58:00,000
Speaker 2: These are serious, long term, lifelong relationships that you're cultivating.

1292
00:58:00,640 --> 00:58:02,880
Speaker 1: I feel like maybe in another lifetime might be ready.

1293
00:58:02,920 --> 00:58:04,600
Speaker 1: I'm here to deal with other shit I don't have.

1294
00:58:04,680 --> 00:58:07,360
Speaker 1: I don't know if I have the It's not that

1295
00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:11,320
Speaker 1: I feel like I can also face those demons or

1296
00:58:11,360 --> 00:58:15,240
Speaker 1: those things without being polly necessarily, of course, I think

1297
00:58:15,280 --> 00:58:19,480
Speaker 1: that in this iteration of my life. I mean, I'll

1298
00:58:19,480 --> 00:58:21,120
Speaker 1: have a lot of fun and I'll do all the things,

1299
00:58:21,160 --> 00:58:24,120
Speaker 1: but I just think that I have to put energy elsewhere,

1300
00:58:24,680 --> 00:58:27,160
Speaker 1: and like, not that my relationships don't deserve energy, because

1301
00:58:27,160 --> 00:58:32,920
Speaker 1: they do, but I admire, like the the ability to

1302
00:58:33,120 --> 00:58:38,720
Speaker 1: really have the capacity to dive into the most important

1303
00:58:38,720 --> 00:58:41,600
Speaker 1: relationships in your life. It is it's really it's beautiful

1304
00:58:41,600 --> 00:58:43,240
Speaker 1: that you guys are able to navigate in that way,

1305
00:58:43,280 --> 00:58:46,280
Speaker 1: and that Carl can call Tiger and say, let me

1306
00:58:46,280 --> 00:58:47,760
Speaker 1: tell you about King and let me let me just

1307
00:58:47,760 --> 00:58:49,720
Speaker 1: put you on a little bit. Let don't do that

1308
00:58:49,840 --> 00:58:53,080
Speaker 1: no more, okay, and then you vice versa. Yes, because

1309
00:58:53,080 --> 00:58:54,280
Speaker 1: it's it's.

1310
00:58:54,160 --> 00:58:56,480
Speaker 2: A lot of community, yeah, and so a lot of

1311
00:58:56,480 --> 00:58:59,280
Speaker 2: people want community. Like even people think of building houses

1312
00:58:59,360 --> 00:59:01,880
Speaker 2: or getting apartment they don't do it because they're afraid

1313
00:59:01,920 --> 00:59:04,480
Speaker 2: of those ego battles. But we just set up a

1314
00:59:04,480 --> 00:59:06,520
Speaker 2: container when our ego come up. We know how to

1315
00:59:06,520 --> 00:59:07,160
Speaker 2: do with ego.

1316
00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:09,240
Speaker 1: Would there ever be a time where you all would

1317
00:59:09,280 --> 00:59:11,280
Speaker 1: co hap it together, like when you would love to

1318
00:59:11,400 --> 00:59:13,360
Speaker 1: I would love to have like what I'm going to

1319
00:59:13,360 --> 00:59:15,400
Speaker 1: do and what I am doing. I'm building one in Bali,

1320
00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:16,240
Speaker 1: one in.

1321
00:59:16,600 --> 00:59:19,680
Speaker 2: Somewhere else Africa, Nairobi, and one in the States. I

1322
00:59:19,720 --> 00:59:23,080
Speaker 2: am going to build communities. I'm excited about it. But

1323
00:59:23,160 --> 00:59:26,080
Speaker 2: everybody has to have the trainings. It's no just come

1324
00:59:26,120 --> 00:59:28,960
Speaker 2: on in in this part. That's how it shit starts

1325
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:31,880
Speaker 2: pops off. Yeah, I've already started the trainings. It's all

1326
00:59:31,920 --> 00:59:35,160
Speaker 2: available on my app Meta More Meeta Moore. You go

1327
00:59:35,200 --> 00:59:37,480
Speaker 2: and you start getting the training step by step, not

1328
00:59:37,600 --> 00:59:39,640
Speaker 2: for poll but for emotional intelligence.

1329
00:59:41,120 --> 00:59:43,520
Speaker 3: Emotional intelligence I mean because it's going to come up

1330
00:59:43,520 --> 00:59:47,200
Speaker 3: and like any personal deep when you want close relationships,

1331
00:59:47,240 --> 00:59:49,280
Speaker 3: when you want shribe and you want in community and

1332
00:59:49,360 --> 00:59:52,720
Speaker 3: any family dynamic, there are going to be the issues

1333
00:59:52,760 --> 00:59:54,560
Speaker 3: because that's what's supposed to happen, and the triggers are

1334
00:59:54,600 --> 00:59:56,160
Speaker 3: supposed to come up in order for you to grow.

1335
00:59:56,200 --> 00:59:58,640
Speaker 3: And if you continue to isolate and shy away from

1336
00:59:58,680 --> 01:00:01,440
Speaker 3: those and there's never a set like really any growth.

1337
01:00:01,280 --> 01:00:03,600
Speaker 2: Well if you if you isolate and stay away from them,

1338
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:05,720
Speaker 2: they just get bigger because the universe.

1339
01:00:05,440 --> 01:00:08,600
Speaker 1: Like she is it, this was her opportunity to do

1340
01:00:09,000 --> 01:00:09,680
Speaker 1: face this.

1341
01:00:09,920 --> 01:00:11,959
Speaker 2: And then you're like no, no, no, and then what's

1342
01:00:12,120 --> 01:00:15,760
Speaker 2: what is stagnant dies? So you know, if you're growing

1343
01:00:15,840 --> 01:00:19,440
Speaker 2: and moving and shifting, that means you are facing those challenges,

1344
01:00:19,480 --> 01:00:21,920
Speaker 2: you're facing directly head on into them. You calling them.

1345
01:00:21,960 --> 01:00:25,720
Speaker 1: I call the challenges like come on, Oh that's the

1346
01:00:27,680 --> 01:00:35,160
Speaker 1: come on, I'm ready, what's up? Like sounds like it's

1347
01:00:35,160 --> 01:00:38,960
Speaker 1: time for a challenge. So this is so nice. I'm

1348
01:00:39,000 --> 01:00:39,560
Speaker 1: so happy.

1349
01:00:39,600 --> 01:00:42,080
Speaker 2: So many people are talking about this now. It feels

1350
01:00:42,160 --> 01:00:43,560
Speaker 2: really good, you know.

1351
01:00:43,720 --> 01:00:45,320
Speaker 3: For I think for a long time, like early on

1352
01:00:45,400 --> 01:00:48,360
Speaker 3: me and Erica's podcast journey, we're like, we're gonna be open,

1353
01:00:48,400 --> 01:00:49,920
Speaker 3: We're gonna be Polly Polly's for us.

1354
01:00:49,920 --> 01:00:51,800
Speaker 2: We've made upper relationships.

1355
01:00:51,160 --> 01:00:53,400
Speaker 3: Because we were very much But I think there's a

1356
01:00:53,440 --> 01:00:55,520
Speaker 3: part of me that is like this is that's the

1357
01:00:55,720 --> 01:00:58,560
Speaker 3: that's the more honest way. I'm like, that is the

1358
01:00:58,600 --> 01:01:01,360
Speaker 3: most transparent, honest way, because essentially, like no one's ever

1359
01:01:01,400 --> 01:01:03,760
Speaker 3: gonna not want to ever fuck anybody else, Like I

1360
01:01:03,800 --> 01:01:04,480
Speaker 3: don't believe that.

1361
01:01:04,520 --> 01:01:06,960
Speaker 2: I'm like, I know there's gonna be prettier bitches, thicker,

1362
01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:08,040
Speaker 2: bitches funnier.

1363
01:01:07,680 --> 01:01:10,760
Speaker 3: But there's always gonna I don't know about funnier, but

1364
01:01:10,760 --> 01:01:12,880
Speaker 3: there's always gonna be other bitches. And that's just like

1365
01:01:12,880 --> 01:01:16,200
Speaker 3: we're gonna see people I like, you know, all the time,

1366
01:01:16,240 --> 01:01:18,720
Speaker 3: it'd be sexy men or whatever the fuck. And so

1367
01:01:18,840 --> 01:01:21,880
Speaker 3: to like to live a relationship that's not honest to

1368
01:01:22,000 --> 01:01:24,160
Speaker 3: the very the thing that's.

1369
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:27,800
Speaker 2: Inevitable is authentic. Yeah, authentic. It's silly.

1370
01:01:28,000 --> 01:01:30,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I mean, and I agree. I think that

1371
01:01:30,200 --> 01:01:33,080
Speaker 1: maybe I'm baby Polly. I'm not like like I'm like

1372
01:01:33,120 --> 01:01:36,560
Speaker 1: miniature Polly, because like I do think I know that

1373
01:01:36,840 --> 01:01:40,040
Speaker 1: I of course, like my attraction to niggas is never

1374
01:01:40,080 --> 01:01:43,280
Speaker 1: gonna die. It hasn't died. I love right now? Oh good?

1375
01:01:43,320 --> 01:01:46,840
Speaker 1: You know. And which choice to see? Support choice, Crown choice,

1376
01:01:46,880 --> 01:01:51,520
Speaker 1: womb choice, Oh can there be more than one?

1377
01:01:51,960 --> 01:01:52,240
Speaker 2: Yes?

1378
01:01:52,960 --> 01:01:58,560
Speaker 1: Definitely support, oh beautiful, definitely listens to you, definitely woomb

1379
01:01:59,040 --> 01:02:02,120
Speaker 1: oh wow, all of them, Crown too.

1380
01:02:03,280 --> 01:02:04,920
Speaker 2: I just say those three, Well, I will tell you

1381
01:02:04,960 --> 01:02:08,200
Speaker 2: the other ones. We'll talk of the other ones. Right, Well,

1382
01:02:08,200 --> 01:02:10,280
Speaker 2: there's money choice, you know.

1383
01:02:10,360 --> 01:02:13,160
Speaker 1: I think, like I'm trying to think, like what was

1384
01:02:13,200 --> 01:02:16,720
Speaker 1: the first feeling I felt being it was definitely support

1385
01:02:16,800 --> 01:02:19,520
Speaker 1: like I felt safe in his presence, but I was

1386
01:02:19,560 --> 01:02:22,400
Speaker 1: definitely very sexually attracted to him, like the first time

1387
01:02:22,400 --> 01:02:26,560
Speaker 1: I ever saw him. Okay, but I think, like even

1388
01:02:26,640 --> 01:02:29,200
Speaker 1: even in my relationship right now, in my dynamic of course,

1389
01:02:29,280 --> 01:02:32,160
Speaker 1: like I'm sure just like I've been attracted to men,

1390
01:02:32,200 --> 01:02:34,760
Speaker 1: I'm sure he has two. I've always known that, like

1391
01:02:35,280 --> 01:02:37,280
Speaker 1: I'm going to we're gonna have to play together at

1392
01:02:37,320 --> 01:02:42,600
Speaker 1: some point. And I guess I've even considered what it

1393
01:02:42,640 --> 01:02:46,600
Speaker 1: would be like if if like I needed my something

1394
01:02:46,600 --> 01:02:48,600
Speaker 1: else in me met, like it needed another need met,

1395
01:02:48,640 --> 01:02:51,840
Speaker 1: because it's impossible for you to have every single need men,

1396
01:02:51,960 --> 01:02:54,240
Speaker 1: especially as you're evolving as a human.

1397
01:02:54,520 --> 01:02:57,160
Speaker 2: How long have you all been together? Ye oh good?

1398
01:02:58,440 --> 01:03:00,400
Speaker 1: And so I'm like, okay, maybe I could be like

1399
01:03:01,040 --> 01:03:04,000
Speaker 1: baby Pauline, like go do your thing. I'll do my thing.

1400
01:03:04,040 --> 01:03:05,600
Speaker 1: But I don't know if I could have four husbands

1401
01:03:05,600 --> 01:03:08,600
Speaker 1: and boyfriends. No, this is advanced lovel this is twenty

1402
01:03:08,680 --> 01:03:09,440
Speaker 1: years advance.

1403
01:03:09,920 --> 01:03:11,560
Speaker 2: Nobody looks at me and thinks, oh, let me just.

1404
01:03:11,560 --> 01:03:13,640
Speaker 3: Go do that, And also may not be everybody's desire,

1405
01:03:13,760 --> 01:03:15,640
Speaker 3: like four boyfriends sounds like a headache.

1406
01:03:15,680 --> 01:03:17,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, I want you to be a little service. I

1407
01:03:17,240 --> 01:03:18,160
Speaker 2: don't want you to talk.

1408
01:03:18,160 --> 01:03:21,000
Speaker 1: To most people it would be, but I'm not with them.

1409
01:03:21,040 --> 01:03:23,680
Speaker 2: I'll make my schedule to see them like once a

1410
01:03:23,680 --> 01:03:26,720
Speaker 2: month the month. Yeah, cancer, I knew it.

1411
01:03:27,920 --> 01:03:28,160
Speaker 4: I know.

1412
01:03:29,680 --> 01:03:32,120
Speaker 1: With cancer. Bah. What's your birthday?

1413
01:03:32,360 --> 01:03:35,760
Speaker 2: July twenty first, So Leo Moon, you're the craziest cancer

1414
01:03:36,080 --> 01:03:36,800
Speaker 2: Leo Moon.

1415
01:03:36,960 --> 01:03:38,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, I like the attention.

1416
01:03:39,320 --> 01:03:41,880
Speaker 2: Attention. I think fresh attention. As I say it on

1417
01:03:41,880 --> 01:03:45,680
Speaker 2: my show, fresh attention is what we deny that we want.

1418
01:03:45,800 --> 01:03:47,480
Speaker 2: That's that Leo. That's that Leo.

1419
01:03:47,800 --> 01:03:49,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm a Leo Rising and I'm June twenty second,

1420
01:03:49,960 --> 01:03:51,080
Speaker 3: so I'm the cusp on the other.

1421
01:03:51,320 --> 01:03:53,440
Speaker 1: That's the crazy. Why would you try to switch it

1422
01:03:53,520 --> 01:03:56,800
Speaker 1: in reverse? Baby, I'm crazy.

1423
01:03:57,040 --> 01:03:58,720
Speaker 2: I've said it like seven times in the podcast.

1424
01:03:58,720 --> 01:03:59,400
Speaker 1: Everybody knows that.

1425
01:03:59,480 --> 01:04:02,320
Speaker 2: Like, oh le cancer, Cassy crazy.

1426
01:04:02,520 --> 01:04:03,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's Stacy.

1427
01:04:03,920 --> 01:04:06,560
Speaker 2: So I think that what you're talking about, you know,

1428
01:04:06,640 --> 01:04:09,000
Speaker 2: when you see me, this is after years and years

1429
01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:11,360
Speaker 2: and years of getting off the horse, falling, falling, falling,

1430
01:04:11,560 --> 01:04:15,040
Speaker 2: having issues, concerns, dealing with it, using tools, writing books,

1431
01:04:15,240 --> 01:04:15,920
Speaker 2: helping others.

1432
01:04:16,440 --> 01:04:18,280
Speaker 1: This is not how you start. It's not for the

1433
01:04:18,320 --> 01:04:20,400
Speaker 1: faint of heart. I like Baby. I think I'm Baby

1434
01:04:20,440 --> 01:04:22,360
Speaker 1: Polly because as I'm listening to you because I'm listening

1435
01:04:22,360 --> 01:04:24,880
Speaker 1: to and I'm like, oh, getting overwhelmed. I'm like, I

1436
01:04:24,920 --> 01:04:27,560
Speaker 1: don't know. And then I'm like, wait, okay, Erica, come back,

1437
01:04:28,240 --> 01:04:30,840
Speaker 1: where are you? What do you want? What do you like?

1438
01:04:31,480 --> 01:04:33,400
Speaker 1: Would you like, can you kid? You fuck one person

1439
01:04:33,480 --> 01:04:36,200
Speaker 1: for your whole Like no, I'm not, no, absolutely no,

1440
01:04:36,320 --> 01:04:38,000
Speaker 1: I know that for a fact. That's all I've I've

1441
01:04:38,120 --> 01:04:40,120
Speaker 1: always known that period. It's not whether I'm in this

1442
01:04:40,200 --> 01:04:42,280
Speaker 1: relationship where I feel totally safe or not. Like that's

1443
01:04:42,440 --> 01:04:44,960
Speaker 1: just a fact. And I know that to be true

1444
01:04:45,000 --> 01:04:48,400
Speaker 1: for men, of course, So that's all I Even when

1445
01:04:48,400 --> 01:04:49,840
Speaker 1: we started our show, I was like, I think I

1446
01:04:49,880 --> 01:04:52,320
Speaker 1: could be Polly or I could have an open relationship

1447
01:04:52,360 --> 01:04:54,880
Speaker 1: because I think that I wished that men would be

1448
01:04:55,000 --> 01:04:58,320
Speaker 1: more just honest about what they need because actually I

1449
01:04:58,440 --> 01:04:59,840
Speaker 1: have needs too that I would.

1450
01:04:59,640 --> 01:05:02,560
Speaker 2: Guess they're not honest, because if they're honest, then Airby

1451
01:05:02,640 --> 01:05:03,160
Speaker 2: can be honest.

1452
01:05:03,880 --> 01:05:06,000
Speaker 1: I know that's true. So that's what it was. And

1453
01:05:06,240 --> 01:05:07,919
Speaker 1: then and then I experienced that I was with someone

1454
01:05:07,920 --> 01:05:10,120
Speaker 1: who we were an open relationship, and then I found

1455
01:05:10,120 --> 01:05:11,760
Speaker 1: out he was fucking around with a girl, and I

1456
01:05:11,880 --> 01:05:14,200
Speaker 1: was like, oh shit, Like we were We hadn't really

1457
01:05:14,280 --> 01:05:16,080
Speaker 1: talked about it much. We knew we were doing it,

1458
01:05:16,200 --> 01:05:18,720
Speaker 1: but we had it. He had been like, authentically, I'm

1459
01:05:18,760 --> 01:05:20,880
Speaker 1: going to tell you that I actually slept with someone

1460
01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:23,760
Speaker 1: last week. I ended up finding out and he told me,

1461
01:05:23,800 --> 01:05:25,640
Speaker 1: and I felt a way and I processed it. I

1462
01:05:25,680 --> 01:05:28,840
Speaker 1: felt jealousy at first, I felt weird, and then I said,

1463
01:05:29,440 --> 01:05:32,520
Speaker 1: why the fuck am I not doing this? So then

1464
01:05:32,560 --> 01:05:35,960
Speaker 1: I went and did my thing and then brought it

1465
01:05:36,000 --> 01:05:39,480
Speaker 1: to him. Had you all discussed it? Well, we discussed it.

1466
01:05:39,480 --> 01:05:41,240
Speaker 1: We were open, but we had already dicussed, were open.

1467
01:05:41,400 --> 01:05:43,880
Speaker 1: Then this thing happened, which, again, like I said, we

1468
01:05:43,960 --> 01:05:46,120
Speaker 1: weren't sharing what we were doing. I wasn't doing anything.

1469
01:05:46,120 --> 01:05:47,680
Speaker 1: I was in la la land, like, oh my gosh,

1470
01:05:47,760 --> 01:05:49,640
Speaker 1: there's no terms, So what did he do? How do

1471
01:05:49,760 --> 01:05:51,680
Speaker 1: you read? So anyway, when I when he told me,

1472
01:05:51,760 --> 01:05:53,160
Speaker 1: like I said, I had to process it. But then

1473
01:05:53,160 --> 01:05:55,040
Speaker 1: I moved through it and I said, you know what, yeah,

1474
01:05:55,200 --> 01:05:57,480
Speaker 1: like we're not We're not We're not monogamous, So what

1475
01:05:57,560 --> 01:05:59,880
Speaker 1: am I doing? Why am I acting monogamous towards you?

1476
01:06:00,240 --> 01:06:04,800
Speaker 1: I still felt myself falling into what I would normally do,

1477
01:06:05,280 --> 01:06:07,160
Speaker 1: which is interesting too because I've talked about this on

1478
01:06:07,200 --> 01:06:09,160
Speaker 1: the show, Like when I was younger, I was such

1479
01:06:09,160 --> 01:06:11,480
Speaker 1: a cheater, Like I really I was that girl that

1480
01:06:11,520 --> 01:06:12,800
Speaker 1: I was like, I like that, I want to try that.

1481
01:06:13,240 --> 01:06:15,200
Speaker 1: I have a boyfriend but like I love him.

1482
01:06:15,240 --> 01:06:17,040
Speaker 2: But like I used the term cheater, you were very

1483
01:06:17,120 --> 01:06:18,760
Speaker 2: creative and you were ver lying.

1484
01:06:19,800 --> 01:06:26,240
Speaker 1: I was lying. I was a liar, cheating who you

1485
01:06:26,320 --> 01:06:27,000
Speaker 1: weren't married.

1486
01:06:27,240 --> 01:06:30,080
Speaker 2: I was creative, I was mary.

1487
01:06:30,280 --> 01:06:32,280
Speaker 1: I wasn't married. But I was hurting people. I was

1488
01:06:32,360 --> 01:06:35,120
Speaker 1: hurting people, you know, So whatever, it's fine. I just

1489
01:06:35,160 --> 01:06:37,040
Speaker 1: don't want to hear you think like that was bad.

1490
01:06:37,680 --> 01:06:39,040
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, I don't think it's bad. I

1491
01:06:39,480 --> 01:06:42,520
Speaker 1: have the tools want no, no, no, no, I am

1492
01:06:42,560 --> 01:06:44,400
Speaker 1: I honor my journey. If I felt bad, I wouldn't

1493
01:06:44,440 --> 01:06:46,800
Speaker 1: share it. I think that it's part of why I

1494
01:06:46,880 --> 01:06:50,560
Speaker 1: think i've what I realized is my my my instinct

1495
01:06:50,680 --> 01:06:55,400
Speaker 1: or my inclination or desires and wanting to explore them

1496
01:06:55,600 --> 01:07:01,200
Speaker 1: early on, very very normal things. Still it comes with

1497
01:07:01,200 --> 01:07:03,200
Speaker 1: the girl, but those things still exist in me. So

1498
01:07:03,360 --> 01:07:05,400
Speaker 1: like that cheater or whatever you want to call her,

1499
01:07:06,320 --> 01:07:07,120
Speaker 1: that the girl.

1500
01:07:07,040 --> 01:07:08,680
Speaker 2: Let's call her Nicole, let's call her a lover.

1501
01:07:08,880 --> 01:07:11,360
Speaker 1: Well, I'm just saying like that cheater or whatever her name,

1502
01:07:11,480 --> 01:07:13,400
Speaker 1: let's call her a girl who just had a lot

1503
01:07:13,440 --> 01:07:15,360
Speaker 1: of desire at a young age. I was thinking about

1504
01:07:15,400 --> 01:07:18,160
Speaker 1: sex very young, like probably when I was like eleven

1505
01:07:18,280 --> 01:07:19,920
Speaker 1: or twelve, I started thinking about it.

1506
01:07:20,000 --> 01:07:23,120
Speaker 2: Oh, I was coming before then, Yeah, So like why

1507
01:07:23,120 --> 01:07:25,000
Speaker 2: don't you how to have orgasms?

1508
01:07:25,040 --> 01:07:26,160
Speaker 1: From a very young age?

1509
01:07:26,320 --> 01:07:27,160
Speaker 2: Maybe six or seven?

1510
01:07:27,320 --> 01:07:30,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean like I whatever I had kissed,

1511
01:07:30,080 --> 01:07:32,320
Speaker 1: I had been promiscuous young, and so I hadn't had

1512
01:07:32,400 --> 01:07:34,440
Speaker 1: sex yet, so I was thinking about it. Yeah for

1513
01:07:34,560 --> 01:07:37,000
Speaker 1: I guess for someone people would say, we're young. But anyway,

1514
01:07:37,120 --> 01:07:39,920
Speaker 1: what I'm saying is that in that relationship dynamic that

1515
01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:43,000
Speaker 1: I was in, I that desire still existed. I had

1516
01:07:43,040 --> 01:07:45,200
Speaker 1: just shut it down because I had come out of

1517
01:07:45,240 --> 01:07:47,600
Speaker 1: a monogamous relationship and I was just so in love

1518
01:07:47,640 --> 01:07:49,760
Speaker 1: with this person and thought, well, this is what I'm

1519
01:07:49,760 --> 01:07:51,280
Speaker 1: supposed to do, right, I'm soo's put all my attention

1520
01:07:51,360 --> 01:07:52,560
Speaker 1: on you, even though we did say we're in an

1521
01:07:52,600 --> 01:07:55,000
Speaker 1: open relationship. And then he was doing his thing, So

1522
01:07:55,080 --> 01:07:58,520
Speaker 1: then I went into my thing, and I was excited

1523
01:07:58,560 --> 01:08:04,040
Speaker 1: to tell him because we're all in relationship right. No, No,

1524
01:08:04,240 --> 01:08:06,120
Speaker 1: he did not like that. He didn't like that at all,

1525
01:08:06,160 --> 01:08:08,080
Speaker 1: and I and then shamed me, and I was like,

1526
01:08:08,240 --> 01:08:10,880
Speaker 1: oh shit, so it doesn't go both ways.

1527
01:08:10,960 --> 01:08:14,040
Speaker 2: So you're a fucking lion. Yes, But ladies, let's take

1528
01:08:14,240 --> 01:08:16,320
Speaker 2: let's take the deeper level, because I told you polyamori

1529
01:08:16,360 --> 01:08:18,760
Speaker 2: is a spiritual practice if that were to happen to

1530
01:08:18,840 --> 01:08:21,040
Speaker 2: me now, because you know still does.

1531
01:08:21,240 --> 01:08:23,080
Speaker 1: I had that with Tiger two years ago. I went

1532
01:08:23,120 --> 01:08:25,360
Speaker 1: to Africa, had sex on my project.

1533
01:08:25,120 --> 01:08:29,200
Speaker 2: Manager, and anyway, he was upset, but I understood, like, yes,

1534
01:08:29,360 --> 01:08:31,919
Speaker 2: I vented about it. Like you're saying, that's some bullshit.

1535
01:08:32,000 --> 01:08:34,960
Speaker 2: You're venting, venting, yes, from your ego and animal that's

1536
01:08:35,000 --> 01:08:37,640
Speaker 2: some bullshit. What does my higher self say, Not that

1537
01:08:37,760 --> 01:08:40,120
Speaker 2: you fucking care when you're still upset about it. But

1538
01:08:40,240 --> 01:08:43,519
Speaker 2: my higher self said, oh, I'm seeing a reflection of

1539
01:08:43,680 --> 01:08:49,360
Speaker 2: what I believe about men. I have not healed from

1540
01:08:49,400 --> 01:08:52,720
Speaker 2: being called a freak by boys in high school or

1541
01:08:52,800 --> 01:08:55,880
Speaker 2: being you know, my dad doesn't hug me anymore once

1542
01:08:55,960 --> 01:08:59,840
Speaker 2: I grow breasts, you know, whatever the things are. That's

1543
01:08:59,880 --> 01:09:02,519
Speaker 2: what I brought up and have placed as my lens

1544
01:09:02,680 --> 01:09:05,840
Speaker 2: as how I see men. So if we don't want

1545
01:09:05,920 --> 01:09:09,600
Speaker 2: that anymore, ladies, we gonna have to dig in I

1546
01:09:09,760 --> 01:09:10,439
Speaker 2: do feel.

1547
01:09:10,200 --> 01:09:13,600
Speaker 3: Like polyamory and some like not maybe to the like

1548
01:09:13,880 --> 01:09:16,960
Speaker 3: from baby to full fledged, from baby to ken you know,

1549
01:09:17,200 --> 01:09:20,240
Speaker 3: like there. I feel like some aspects of polyamory are

1550
01:09:20,320 --> 01:09:23,160
Speaker 3: necessary for a healthy relationship because there's a level of

1551
01:09:23,640 --> 01:09:26,000
Speaker 3: authenticity and honesty that you have to be with yourself

1552
01:09:26,560 --> 01:09:28,519
Speaker 3: and a level of self awareness you have to have

1553
01:09:28,640 --> 01:09:32,520
Speaker 3: with yourself in order to make to have a relationship

1554
01:09:32,680 --> 01:09:35,760
Speaker 3: that is safe and that is unbreakable. Because when we

1555
01:09:35,800 --> 01:09:38,360
Speaker 3: talk about humanity, we talk about humans, men or women.

1556
01:09:39,040 --> 01:09:41,960
Speaker 3: Like we said, primarily, we're going to be attracted to

1557
01:09:42,080 --> 01:09:44,880
Speaker 3: other people people, We're gonna have conversations that are gonna

1558
01:09:44,920 --> 01:09:47,639
Speaker 3: move certain things, because that is what this community is about.

1559
01:09:47,880 --> 01:09:48,920
Speaker 1: We are supposed to relate.

1560
01:09:49,000 --> 01:09:52,320
Speaker 3: We are supposed to be be like our frequencies are

1561
01:09:52,320 --> 01:09:55,720
Speaker 3: supposed to move with music, with great acting, with great

1562
01:09:55,840 --> 01:09:59,160
Speaker 3: with beautiful singing, like there's always going to be an

1563
01:09:59,320 --> 01:10:02,599
Speaker 3: energetic combination that happens.

1564
01:10:02,760 --> 01:10:03,880
Speaker 2: That is chemistry.

1565
01:10:04,240 --> 01:10:06,160
Speaker 3: But if we deny that, and we deny that that

1566
01:10:06,280 --> 01:10:10,560
Speaker 3: humans to ourselves, then we are basically asking for dishonestly

1567
01:10:10,840 --> 01:10:12,840
Speaker 3: lie to me, tell me.

1568
01:10:12,840 --> 01:10:13,400
Speaker 2: I'm the only one.

1569
01:10:13,439 --> 01:10:15,680
Speaker 3: But because I don't want to, I don't want to

1570
01:10:15,720 --> 01:10:17,960
Speaker 3: dig into the other shit that doesn't feel I don't

1571
01:10:17,960 --> 01:10:18,519
Speaker 3: feel like doing that.

1572
01:10:18,640 --> 01:10:22,600
Speaker 1: Mm hm. I also think like going back to the

1573
01:10:22,640 --> 01:10:25,280
Speaker 1: concept of not everyone can be everything for you, and

1574
01:10:25,800 --> 01:10:29,080
Speaker 1: it's a tough one, right, but like but honoring that

1575
01:10:29,520 --> 01:10:32,440
Speaker 1: And I guess when you when you start to destigmatize

1576
01:10:32,960 --> 01:10:36,640
Speaker 1: that concept and you are open to saying, Okay, this

1577
01:10:36,760 --> 01:10:39,439
Speaker 1: person spins my heart chakra yes, and makes me feel

1578
01:10:39,479 --> 01:10:41,200
Speaker 1: safe and we have a good time and we still

1579
01:10:41,280 --> 01:10:43,679
Speaker 1: share sexual energy and it's great and we fucking it's good.

1580
01:10:44,280 --> 01:10:47,120
Speaker 1: But then this person actually like stimulates my crown chakra

1581
01:10:47,640 --> 01:10:49,680
Speaker 1: and maybe we don't even really have a lot of sex,

1582
01:10:49,720 --> 01:10:52,880
Speaker 1: maybe we just cuddle and that really fulfills me and

1583
01:10:53,080 --> 01:10:55,880
Speaker 1: like that activates a really big piece of me. And

1584
01:10:55,960 --> 01:10:58,479
Speaker 1: then oh, this person, like that's the root. Okay, we

1585
01:10:58,840 --> 01:11:06,519
Speaker 1: bucking and he's smart, but like choice, but like that's

1586
01:11:06,560 --> 01:11:09,320
Speaker 1: not what we're here. But that's not what we're here for.

1587
01:11:09,400 --> 01:11:12,120
Speaker 1: We're here to ignite those that aspect of who I

1588
01:11:12,200 --> 01:11:16,320
Speaker 1: am and like actually saying and I'm going to make

1589
01:11:16,479 --> 01:11:19,160
Speaker 1: all these people my boyfriends or my husband's Like that

1590
01:11:19,360 --> 01:11:21,160
Speaker 1: concept seems so crazy, but when you think of it

1591
01:11:21,200 --> 01:11:24,080
Speaker 1: in that way where it's like no, you're you're giving

1592
01:11:24,120 --> 01:11:28,120
Speaker 1: your space, You're giving yourself the permission and allowing yourself

1593
01:11:28,520 --> 01:11:31,719
Speaker 1: to activate these different pieces of yourself because you also

1594
01:11:31,920 --> 01:11:36,360
Speaker 1: realize that it is actually impossible for one person to

1595
01:11:36,479 --> 01:11:39,080
Speaker 1: be able to stimulate all of these things at the

1596
01:11:39,200 --> 01:11:41,360
Speaker 1: highest capacity all the time. And some people say, I

1597
01:11:41,400 --> 01:11:43,760
Speaker 1: don't need it a high capacity all the time. But

1598
01:11:43,840 --> 01:11:46,760
Speaker 1: and then there's people like you and like people that

1599
01:11:47,160 --> 01:11:49,760
Speaker 1: want that need want that, like I want to live

1600
01:11:49,920 --> 01:11:53,800
Speaker 1: life at my highest capacity all the time. Why would

1601
01:11:53,840 --> 01:11:55,640
Speaker 1: I not want to do that? You know, like, why

1602
01:11:55,680 --> 01:11:57,360
Speaker 1: would I not? Why would I want to like only

1603
01:11:57,439 --> 01:11:59,560
Speaker 1: be stimulated here a little bit? Because I feel like

1604
01:11:59,640 --> 01:12:02,360
Speaker 1: I can only get that and this from one person.

1605
01:12:02,439 --> 01:12:03,479
Speaker 1: And that's how it's supposed to be.

1606
01:12:03,920 --> 01:12:06,840
Speaker 2: Men fear failure and for what I've found when I

1607
01:12:07,080 --> 01:12:09,320
Speaker 2: when because I call it the art of placement, When

1608
01:12:09,320 --> 01:12:11,160
Speaker 2: I place a man, because they don't know what they

1609
01:12:11,200 --> 01:12:13,639
Speaker 2: are to you, that's up to the feminine to tell them.

1610
01:12:13,680 --> 01:12:14,439
Speaker 1: We're the choosers.

1611
01:12:15,000 --> 01:12:17,280
Speaker 2: So you know, if I choose a man, I'm going

1612
01:12:17,360 --> 01:12:19,479
Speaker 2: to place that man. He's going to understand what he

1613
01:12:19,560 --> 01:12:21,519
Speaker 2: provides to me and that I don't need any of

1614
01:12:21,560 --> 01:12:24,240
Speaker 2: the other things. But that gives him a greater chance

1615
01:12:24,320 --> 01:12:26,960
Speaker 2: of success. That's why all men love me, because you

1616
01:12:27,040 --> 01:12:29,880
Speaker 2: cannot fail with me. I know how to communicate, I

1617
01:12:29,960 --> 01:12:31,639
Speaker 2: know how to be authentic. I know how to pull

1618
01:12:31,680 --> 01:12:35,320
Speaker 2: out your vulnerability and authenticity. I understand your placement. I

1619
01:12:35,439 --> 01:12:37,720
Speaker 2: know what you are delivering and what you never need to.

1620
01:12:38,320 --> 01:12:41,280
Speaker 2: So that is safety for men, but you never need to.

1621
01:12:41,400 --> 01:12:42,560
Speaker 2: I know it is delivery.

1622
01:12:42,720 --> 01:12:46,800
Speaker 1: And what is that? Yeah?

1623
01:12:47,240 --> 01:12:49,400
Speaker 2: I told my daughter this is that she's this is

1624
01:12:49,880 --> 01:12:53,080
Speaker 2: this is the feminine in her power.

1625
01:12:54,200 --> 01:12:54,880
Speaker 1: That's what it is.

1626
01:12:55,000 --> 01:12:57,280
Speaker 2: I said, don't ever put a womb choice in your house.

1627
01:12:57,640 --> 01:12:59,519
Speaker 2: Just keep him out in the forest. He's a warrior.

1628
01:13:00,360 --> 01:13:02,160
Speaker 2: Why you put him in your house? He's bucking and

1629
01:13:02,240 --> 01:13:03,559
Speaker 2: knocking ship down. Yeah, he.

1630
01:13:06,120 --> 01:13:06,800
Speaker 1: Supposed to be here.

1631
01:13:08,320 --> 01:13:09,519
Speaker 2: Why you put in your house?

1632
01:13:09,600 --> 01:13:14,880
Speaker 1: I'm not getting this is saying nothing over.

1633
01:13:17,280 --> 01:13:20,080
Speaker 2: He's just nassy, you know.

1634
01:13:20,360 --> 01:13:23,800
Speaker 1: So when you know, you know our mothers, God blessed them.

1635
01:13:24,040 --> 01:13:27,360
Speaker 1: How did they do this with nothing?

1636
01:13:27,680 --> 01:13:32,320
Speaker 2: Nothing, no means, no internet to tell him, nothing, no meanings,

1637
01:13:32,640 --> 01:13:33,479
Speaker 2: nothing doing.

1638
01:13:33,439 --> 01:13:33,960
Speaker 1: No means.

1639
01:13:34,720 --> 01:13:35,720
Speaker 2: Let's just say I had nothing.

1640
01:13:36,360 --> 01:13:39,439
Speaker 1: Guys, memes have really saved the world. I really mean.

1641
01:13:39,760 --> 01:13:42,680
Speaker 1: You just want a bit of smart and you have

1642
01:13:42,800 --> 01:13:45,400
Speaker 1: really improved everyone's one liner.

1643
01:13:45,800 --> 01:13:48,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't even feel very intelligent the things they

1644
01:13:48,640 --> 01:13:49,240
Speaker 3: already knew.

1645
01:13:49,840 --> 01:13:53,720
Speaker 1: Fast delivery, precise, fast delivery of principles, spoke to the

1646
01:13:53,920 --> 01:13:57,760
Speaker 1: spokes right to your chair. You know. Wait, speaking of affirmations,

1647
01:13:59,360 --> 01:14:00,920
Speaker 1: we haven't. We haven't done any of our ship. But

1648
01:14:00,960 --> 01:14:04,720
Speaker 1: it's fine, my god, off base. No, it's fine. There's

1649
01:14:04,840 --> 01:14:07,720
Speaker 1: off base here. Okay. Do you have an affirmation though

1650
01:14:07,760 --> 01:14:09,479
Speaker 1: that you that you can share with our audience. We

1651
01:14:09,560 --> 01:14:13,280
Speaker 1: usually ask guests to share. Sure. Absolutely, nobody is doing

1652
01:14:13,439 --> 01:14:14,160
Speaker 1: anything to me.

1653
01:14:14,400 --> 01:14:18,160
Speaker 2: I create my life. Nobody is doing anything to me.

1654
01:14:18,520 --> 01:14:23,680
Speaker 1: I create my life. Oh I love that, Yes, I

1655
01:14:23,800 --> 01:14:27,720
Speaker 1: love that. Wow, this has been such a great conversation.

1656
01:14:27,880 --> 01:14:29,559
Speaker 2: Can you think now they're going so deep?

1657
01:14:29,600 --> 01:14:34,080
Speaker 3: I'm high like the women and our power, and like

1658
01:14:34,240 --> 01:14:38,080
Speaker 3: the revival. I always say that we're resurrecting the women,

1659
01:14:38,160 --> 01:14:41,720
Speaker 3: the wild and free women, And I do feel like

1660
01:14:41,800 --> 01:14:45,760
Speaker 3: it requires like warrior women to lead the way, because,

1661
01:14:45,880 --> 01:14:49,320
Speaker 3: like you said, our mothers, like they just sacrificing and

1662
01:14:49,479 --> 01:14:52,920
Speaker 3: crying and carrying on and chasing and trying to put

1663
01:14:53,280 --> 01:14:55,960
Speaker 3: a bull in a box and a daddy and the

1664
01:14:56,040 --> 01:14:58,840
Speaker 3: home and the food on the table. I'm just like

1665
01:14:58,960 --> 01:15:01,599
Speaker 3: it's a lot, and we I feel deeply that I've

1666
01:15:01,640 --> 01:15:03,479
Speaker 3: inherited a lot about that. I always say that, I'm like,

1667
01:15:03,479 --> 01:15:05,599
Speaker 3: I feel like I've inherited a lot of my jealousy.

1668
01:15:06,080 --> 01:15:08,400
Speaker 2: My grandmother was was cheated on.

1669
01:15:08,560 --> 01:15:11,519
Speaker 3: My mother was cheated on, like the habitual and and

1670
01:15:12,720 --> 01:15:15,080
Speaker 3: where I can see the pain, like I can feel

1671
01:15:15,120 --> 01:15:18,320
Speaker 3: the pain, and I'm just like, if we just have the.

1672
01:15:20,240 --> 01:15:24,720
Speaker 1: The like the balls say this this, we're call that. Well.

1673
01:15:24,760 --> 01:15:27,240
Speaker 1: I think that maybe to heal this wound, you should

1674
01:15:27,360 --> 01:15:32,439
Speaker 1: just let Orlando have sex with other women. I don't

1675
01:15:32,600 --> 01:15:38,880
Speaker 1: say it sounds like you don't have sex with other women. Orlando,

1676
01:15:38,920 --> 01:15:46,720
Speaker 1: I got you, not without our preparation coaching session, has

1677
01:15:46,800 --> 01:15:50,400
Speaker 1: had sex with kidding, I know, I'm totally kidding, but

1678
01:15:50,439 --> 01:15:52,599
Speaker 1: I but I think what I really wanted to say

1679
01:15:52,680 --> 01:15:54,280
Speaker 1: is that it sounds like I think that you're already

1680
01:15:54,320 --> 01:15:57,280
Speaker 1: doing the work in healing this, in having a partner

1681
01:15:57,320 --> 01:15:59,840
Speaker 1: where you can share in those experiences with in like

1682
01:16:00,439 --> 01:16:03,400
Speaker 1: even being able to say out loud that maybe it's

1683
01:16:03,439 --> 01:16:05,960
Speaker 1: not mine, and also honoring with parts of it that

1684
01:16:06,280 --> 01:16:09,000
Speaker 1: are yours. And there's too like I can say I'm

1685
01:16:09,080 --> 01:16:11,360
Speaker 1: working through them because you've encountered them I've been there,

1686
01:16:12,280 --> 01:16:16,679
Speaker 1: and then you Literally I was there, she was getting

1687
01:16:16,760 --> 01:16:20,080
Speaker 1: jealous and I'm about to freak out, and then I did.

1688
01:16:20,120 --> 01:16:24,160
Speaker 1: But you, but but you continued forward and not only

1689
01:16:24,280 --> 01:16:27,840
Speaker 1: just with Orlando, but in like the exploration of what that.

1690
01:16:28,000 --> 01:16:29,759
Speaker 2: Looks like, which I'm actually shocked.

1691
01:16:29,760 --> 01:16:31,719
Speaker 3: I think in any other situation I would have completely

1692
01:16:31,800 --> 01:16:34,600
Speaker 3: left anybody else immediately without.

1693
01:16:34,640 --> 01:16:36,960
Speaker 1: Thought, Well, there's a safety shock with that's being spin

1694
01:16:37,200 --> 01:16:41,680
Speaker 1: spun in your in your relationship dynamic, probably too. And definitely,

1695
01:16:42,400 --> 01:16:45,000
Speaker 1: I mean you're definitely support choice with him. Yeah, so

1696
01:16:45,280 --> 01:16:48,559
Speaker 1: it's like you know you're doing You're doing the work.

1697
01:16:48,960 --> 01:16:50,680
Speaker 1: So I have hope in you. So earlier when you

1698
01:16:50,720 --> 01:16:53,120
Speaker 1: said that I was giving you a look, it's not

1699
01:16:53,240 --> 01:16:54,519
Speaker 1: a look. I wasn't. I don't feel like I was

1700
01:16:54,520 --> 01:16:55,840
Speaker 1: giving you a look. But maybe I was, because you know,

1701
01:16:55,920 --> 01:16:58,240
Speaker 1: my face is I can't. I don't know my face

1702
01:16:58,320 --> 01:17:01,559
Speaker 1: we faced in induition. But I believe that I think

1703
01:17:01,600 --> 01:17:03,000
Speaker 1: you guys are doing the work. And I think that

1704
01:17:03,360 --> 01:17:06,519
Speaker 1: you know, whether you are monogamous or polly or whatever

1705
01:17:07,080 --> 01:17:10,960
Speaker 1: you want to honogamous, whatever do you want to call it, Yeah,

1706
01:17:11,000 --> 01:17:12,439
Speaker 1: you're doing the work to figure out what that work,

1707
01:17:12,479 --> 01:17:13,439
Speaker 1: what that means for both of you.

1708
01:17:13,720 --> 01:17:15,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's all I ever wished for. Like, I

1709
01:17:15,920 --> 01:17:17,840
Speaker 2: want to be open, I want to do them.

1710
01:17:17,920 --> 01:17:21,280
Speaker 3: I want to be realistic in my endeavors in my relationship,

1711
01:17:21,640 --> 01:17:23,439
Speaker 3: but I also want to honor the parts in may Or.

1712
01:17:23,560 --> 01:17:27,479
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm raging, jealous, and I want to rage.

1713
01:17:27,520 --> 01:17:29,439
Speaker 2: And well, we're gonna heal that little girl. Yeah, that's

1714
01:17:29,479 --> 01:17:31,519
Speaker 2: a part of you that we won't love on her.

1715
01:17:31,920 --> 01:17:33,760
Speaker 2: We're gonna bring her to the forefront and we're going

1716
01:17:33,840 --> 01:17:36,240
Speaker 2: to heal her. She's come out in your womb choice

1717
01:17:36,280 --> 01:17:39,240
Speaker 2: relationships and gone wow. But he didn't know how to

1718
01:17:39,280 --> 01:17:42,439
Speaker 2: hold space for her like I can shore Orlando, how

1719
01:17:42,479 --> 01:17:44,439
Speaker 2: to hold space for her and take half of her

1720
01:17:44,560 --> 01:17:46,840
Speaker 2: charge out in less than a month. You know, you

1721
01:17:47,040 --> 01:17:51,320
Speaker 2: just have never fully solely let her. He got the

1722
01:17:51,400 --> 01:17:59,720
Speaker 2: thought of that sounds like, yeah, because she protected you.

1723
01:18:00,160 --> 01:18:03,320
Speaker 2: She protected you. Yeah, that's what these parts of us do.

1724
01:18:03,479 --> 01:18:05,920
Speaker 2: They're not just like bad nonsensical ship.

1725
01:18:06,040 --> 01:18:06,720
Speaker 1: They protected me.

1726
01:18:06,920 --> 01:18:09,599
Speaker 3: And and it's crazy when you can see them literally,

1727
01:18:09,640 --> 01:18:11,240
Speaker 3: when you're aware and you can see it come up

1728
01:18:11,320 --> 01:18:13,800
Speaker 3: and like, you know, you could ask yourself the question

1729
01:18:13,920 --> 01:18:15,040
Speaker 3: and like do I care am I?

1730
01:18:15,160 --> 01:18:17,240
Speaker 2: And why am I? Feeling this way worries is like

1731
01:18:17,280 --> 01:18:18,240
Speaker 2: do I think this person's.

1732
01:18:17,960 --> 01:18:18,439
Speaker 1: Gonna leave me?

1733
01:18:18,760 --> 01:18:20,519
Speaker 3: You know that when you can work through and see

1734
01:18:20,560 --> 01:18:23,040
Speaker 3: all the parts of like as it comes up, as

1735
01:18:23,120 --> 01:18:25,360
Speaker 3: it happens, or when you're like okay, I'm okay, yeah,

1736
01:18:25,439 --> 01:18:26,559
Speaker 3: it's fine, you can eat that pussy.

1737
01:18:26,800 --> 01:18:30,040
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah you can, yeah, yeah, okay.

1738
01:18:31,640 --> 01:18:34,600
Speaker 3: You know, like just the the moving through it and

1739
01:18:34,800 --> 01:18:36,400
Speaker 3: when and when it and when she comes up and

1740
01:18:36,479 --> 01:18:39,400
Speaker 3: when when there's things that trigger that more than others.

1741
01:18:39,479 --> 01:18:41,920
Speaker 3: It's just an interesting It is an interesting journey in

1742
01:18:42,000 --> 01:18:46,040
Speaker 3: this relationship. And I'm grateful too for the the ability

1743
01:18:46,160 --> 01:18:48,760
Speaker 3: to just have the journey. Like there's no right now

1744
01:18:48,920 --> 01:18:50,800
Speaker 3: in my I don't know what I mean, Like I

1745
01:18:50,840 --> 01:18:52,120
Speaker 3: don't got to be Polly tomorrow.

1746
01:18:52,280 --> 01:18:56,400
Speaker 1: I don't you know, there's no baby post.

1747
01:18:57,880 --> 01:18:59,000
Speaker 2: Baby poly first.

1748
01:18:59,720 --> 01:19:02,679
Speaker 1: Baby Polly does not involve Polly Pocket. I'm Polly Pocket.

1749
01:19:07,800 --> 01:19:08,759
Speaker 1: Look at my little.

1750
01:19:10,960 --> 01:19:12,880
Speaker 2: She lives in that house and we close the door.

1751
01:19:14,840 --> 01:19:15,240
Speaker 1: Not yet.

1752
01:19:16,520 --> 01:19:19,320
Speaker 2: Oh that's I'm gonna give you a Polly Pocket for Christmas.

1753
01:19:19,320 --> 01:19:21,559
Speaker 3: Every time Ma Orlando can play, I'm like, guess what, babe,

1754
01:19:22,520 --> 01:19:23,680
Speaker 3: I'm bringing Polly out.

1755
01:19:24,760 --> 01:19:27,840
Speaker 2: No, I like that, really, don't I really hope a

1756
01:19:27,920 --> 01:19:30,280
Speaker 2: lot more people can think like that and really be

1757
01:19:30,479 --> 01:19:31,680
Speaker 2: realistic about where they are.

1758
01:19:32,120 --> 01:19:35,320
Speaker 1: You're not there yet. That's it needs to be called

1759
01:19:35,520 --> 01:19:39,200
Speaker 1: poly pocket, polly pocket, you're not there, polly pocket? Or

1760
01:19:39,240 --> 01:19:40,960
Speaker 1: are you a poly pro or a poly pocket?

1761
01:19:42,560 --> 01:19:45,280
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, that's good. Obviously Kenny is a poly pro.

1762
01:19:45,800 --> 01:19:48,080
Speaker 2: I'm a poly pro, and the pros come to me.

1763
01:19:48,360 --> 01:19:52,759
Speaker 2: I've had pro basketball players, actresses, on NFL players, NBA.

1764
01:19:53,240 --> 01:19:55,679
Speaker 2: All types of people are my clients, and I support

1765
01:19:55,760 --> 01:19:59,599
Speaker 2: them in moving from monogamy to polyamory or from.

1766
01:19:59,600 --> 01:20:03,640
Speaker 1: Poly fuckery back to Oh you also get them back

1767
01:20:03,680 --> 01:20:06,719
Speaker 1: to monogamy if they've been polyuckery and cheating and crazy

1768
01:20:06,760 --> 01:20:07,960
Speaker 1: and they didn't start off right.

1769
01:20:08,160 --> 01:20:09,080
Speaker 2: Is it got to rewind?

1770
01:20:09,240 --> 01:20:13,760
Speaker 1: Is it with the also trajectory of them becoming polyamor

1771
01:20:14,000 --> 01:20:16,120
Speaker 1: polyamory or like we have to start here, we have

1772
01:20:16,200 --> 01:20:18,200
Speaker 1: to go back here, start and then we can talk

1773
01:20:18,200 --> 01:20:19,080
Speaker 1: about going back there.

1774
01:20:19,320 --> 01:20:22,640
Speaker 2: I coach people who have done bad polly back to

1775
01:20:23,120 --> 01:20:26,200
Speaker 2: sexual exclusivity so they can heal and get a better

1776
01:20:26,280 --> 01:20:27,240
Speaker 2: foundation create.

1777
01:20:27,439 --> 01:20:29,600
Speaker 1: You have to have an emotional intelligence.

1778
01:20:29,720 --> 01:20:33,040
Speaker 2: Emotional intelligence is required for polyamory. That's why when people

1779
01:20:33,040 --> 01:20:36,840
Speaker 2: say they're poly I'm like emotional intelligence. Really is it

1780
01:20:37,040 --> 01:20:40,599
Speaker 2: required require for any relationship, family, even.

1781
01:20:41,880 --> 01:20:42,160
Speaker 1: Life?

1782
01:20:43,080 --> 01:20:48,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, what the fuck I'm in a relationship?

1783
01:20:49,240 --> 01:20:52,400
Speaker 2: What the concern is? Like dual lingo teaches language. There

1784
01:20:52,840 --> 01:20:56,360
Speaker 2: wasn't before an app that teaches emotional intelligence, because what

1785
01:20:56,560 --> 01:20:57,360
Speaker 2: is the language of it?

1786
01:20:57,520 --> 01:20:58,360
Speaker 1: What is it consistent?

1787
01:20:58,680 --> 01:21:00,680
Speaker 2: But that's the most superior like that what your app does.

1788
01:21:00,760 --> 01:21:03,240
Speaker 2: That's when I app does, teaches emotional intelligence and then

1789
01:21:03,360 --> 01:21:05,960
Speaker 2: matches you only with those on your emotional level.

1790
01:21:06,280 --> 01:21:07,479
Speaker 1: Oh, it's a dating app.

1791
01:21:07,760 --> 01:21:11,680
Speaker 2: Yes, after you do the the training, you cannot come

1792
01:21:11,760 --> 01:21:15,519
Speaker 2: in here. Stem there's no swiping. There's only matching, matching

1793
01:21:15,560 --> 01:21:18,639
Speaker 2: with people who are on you meet a more meet

1794
01:21:18,880 --> 01:21:21,920
Speaker 2: a more meet a m O R Y A m

1795
01:21:22,000 --> 01:21:23,120
Speaker 2: o r e A.

1796
01:21:23,800 --> 01:21:24,000
Speaker 1: Yes.

1797
01:21:26,439 --> 01:21:29,479
Speaker 3: Wow, that makes sense because people want to date amongst

1798
01:21:29,800 --> 01:21:32,000
Speaker 3: mature other mature people like I don't even want to

1799
01:21:32,040 --> 01:21:34,320
Speaker 3: be out inside because everybody's kind of slow.

1800
01:21:34,560 --> 01:21:38,000
Speaker 2: I don't date anybody who refuses to learn who's speaking

1801
01:21:38,160 --> 01:21:40,360
Speaker 2: their ego, their animal, or their higher self. If they

1802
01:21:40,360 --> 01:21:42,240
Speaker 2: don't know the difference between their ego speaking and their

1803
01:21:42,320 --> 01:21:46,080
Speaker 2: higher self speaking, we have nothing to talk about. If

1804
01:21:46,160 --> 01:21:48,000
Speaker 2: they don't know that difference, we have nothing.

1805
01:21:47,800 --> 01:21:48,800
Speaker 1: To talk about yeah.

1806
01:21:49,000 --> 01:21:49,240
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1807
01:21:50,520 --> 01:21:54,559
Speaker 3: So often, even just in regular just a regular conversation

1808
01:21:54,720 --> 01:21:56,800
Speaker 3: with men, I you know, I'll be like, oh, this

1809
01:21:56,880 --> 01:21:59,479
Speaker 3: is a cool guy, this happened to us recently. And

1810
01:21:59,520 --> 01:22:02,080
Speaker 3: then the guy I started talking some stupid shit about

1811
01:22:02,360 --> 01:22:04,640
Speaker 3: basically how he should have women and his woman and

1812
01:22:04,680 --> 01:22:05,920
Speaker 3: I was like, where we talking about?

1813
01:22:05,920 --> 01:22:07,160
Speaker 2: This is like happening I bad.

1814
01:22:07,439 --> 01:22:08,800
Speaker 3: Remember, I just was like, Oh, this is a really

1815
01:22:08,880 --> 01:22:10,320
Speaker 3: nice guy who was like attracted he was talking to

1816
01:22:10,400 --> 01:22:10,760
Speaker 3: this girl.

1817
01:22:11,200 --> 01:22:12,960
Speaker 2: But then as soon as he said that stupid shit, I.

1818
01:22:13,040 --> 01:22:18,000
Speaker 3: Was like, I'm always so like perplexed by smart men

1819
01:22:18,080 --> 01:22:20,599
Speaker 3: who appear smart but then say some stupid ass shit.

1820
01:22:21,160 --> 01:22:24,680
Speaker 3: I'm always like, oh, oh, oh you're dumb. So I'm

1821
01:22:24,720 --> 01:22:26,640
Speaker 3: just like the disappointment, but even even just on a

1822
01:22:26,720 --> 01:22:27,479
Speaker 3: regular because I just.

1823
01:22:27,479 --> 01:22:30,599
Speaker 2: Think there's on a basic level, an emotional intelligence test

1824
01:22:30,760 --> 01:22:34,320
Speaker 2: is just to ask men questions, lots of questions about

1825
01:22:34,360 --> 01:22:36,559
Speaker 2: their life and where they are and who they are,

1826
01:22:36,680 --> 01:22:39,040
Speaker 2: and what they want, what their dreams are. I think

1827
01:22:39,200 --> 01:22:42,320
Speaker 2: many women don't do that, and so that is a

1828
01:22:42,400 --> 01:22:47,240
Speaker 2: good gauge. Are they willing to even answer right? Are

1829
01:22:47,280 --> 01:22:48,920
Speaker 2: they comfortable having a conversation?

1830
01:22:49,120 --> 01:22:51,920
Speaker 1: I think I think yes. But I also think that

1831
01:22:52,080 --> 01:22:55,760
Speaker 1: there's so many emotionally unintelligent women too, so it goes

1832
01:22:55,880 --> 01:22:58,240
Speaker 1: both ways. So there's like women that feel like they're

1833
01:22:58,240 --> 01:23:00,920
Speaker 1: emotionally intelligent, but they're not. They might just be a

1834
01:23:00,960 --> 01:23:02,920
Speaker 1: little bit more than the person that they're you know,

1835
01:23:03,160 --> 01:23:06,200
Speaker 1: asking to have meet where they are, but they're not

1836
01:23:06,240 --> 01:23:07,360
Speaker 1: even asking the right questions.

1837
01:23:07,760 --> 01:23:12,040
Speaker 2: By birth, women are more centered in that right brain unality.

1838
01:23:12,439 --> 01:23:14,599
Speaker 2: So by birth they may have it, but the skills

1839
01:23:14,640 --> 01:23:15,760
Speaker 2: and training they don't have.

1840
01:23:17,760 --> 01:23:20,000
Speaker 1: Wow, well, thank you for your work and what you do.

1841
01:23:21,120 --> 01:23:22,720
Speaker 1: But before you get out of here, I would love

1842
01:23:22,760 --> 01:23:34,200
Speaker 1: if you could share a horror story. Who stories I

1843
01:23:34,360 --> 01:23:37,960
Speaker 1: know in all your adventures and polyamory, And maybe this

1844
01:23:38,080 --> 01:23:41,560
Speaker 1: is also misconception, but I don't think so, Kenny. I

1845
01:23:41,680 --> 01:23:43,920
Speaker 1: think I think you have some stories to share.

1846
01:23:44,040 --> 01:23:45,800
Speaker 2: So Last of Great Stories.

1847
01:23:47,120 --> 01:23:51,599
Speaker 1: Really wants to tell you a horror story. I want

1848
01:23:51,640 --> 01:23:53,360
Speaker 1: to tell out of the country.

1849
01:23:53,600 --> 01:23:58,240
Speaker 2: Yes means pleasure in ancient cometic language, so that's where

1850
01:23:58,240 --> 01:24:04,240
Speaker 2: the word comes from. There were temple goddesses called tepts,

1851
01:24:04,640 --> 01:24:08,479
Speaker 2: and they brought peace through pleasure, so her tep means peace.

1852
01:24:12,040 --> 01:24:14,559
Speaker 2: And then just hold heaven on earth. I mean, there

1853
01:24:14,680 --> 01:24:17,920
Speaker 2: is nothing wrong with a woman her sexuality, her sensuality.

1854
01:24:18,640 --> 01:24:21,040
Speaker 2: This is the most natural ritual we can do together

1855
01:24:21,080 --> 01:24:25,960
Speaker 2: as humans. So I'll give you my horror story. One

1856
01:24:26,040 --> 01:24:28,360
Speaker 2: time we were on a cruise, me and Tiger. We

1857
01:24:28,479 --> 01:24:31,599
Speaker 2: went to Haiti and I had a balcony room. Honey,

1858
01:24:31,880 --> 01:24:34,240
Speaker 2: I had. You know, I always like to treat my

1859
01:24:34,280 --> 01:24:37,040
Speaker 2: little womb choices. Womb choices sometimes need a little money,

1860
01:24:37,080 --> 01:24:39,200
Speaker 2: you know, slideing mo, rent payment of two.

1861
01:24:43,880 --> 01:24:45,479
Speaker 1: They given me something I can't.

1862
01:24:45,280 --> 01:24:46,200
Speaker 2: Get nowhere else.

1863
01:24:46,240 --> 01:24:49,920
Speaker 1: See it now, It's like, what do you need coming

1864
01:24:50,000 --> 01:24:52,000
Speaker 1: this way? I take care of you. You take care

1865
01:24:52,000 --> 01:24:53,280
Speaker 1: of me, right, Okay.

1866
01:24:53,439 --> 01:24:55,839
Speaker 2: So you know I had the room. I had financed

1867
01:24:55,920 --> 01:24:58,400
Speaker 2: that and it was the balcony everything. So we were

1868
01:24:58,479 --> 01:25:01,439
Speaker 2: going out in the daytime, you know, I'm getting purses

1869
01:25:01,479 --> 01:25:03,800
Speaker 2: and stuff like that. He runs into a woman that

1870
01:25:03,880 --> 01:25:06,960
Speaker 2: he's attracted to, and I'm so excited because he tells

1871
01:25:07,040 --> 01:25:08,599
Speaker 2: me he was like, just look at her, look at her.

1872
01:25:08,880 --> 01:25:11,880
Speaker 1: I looked. She was very appealing. She was cute. You know.

1873
01:25:12,000 --> 01:25:13,800
Speaker 2: She had a little skirt on and flowing in the

1874
01:25:13,840 --> 01:25:16,200
Speaker 2: wind and got some hips moving in the skirt.

1875
01:25:16,320 --> 01:25:17,960
Speaker 1: Okay, so I clocked that.

1876
01:25:18,760 --> 01:25:21,320
Speaker 2: We got back to the room. We had a great night.

1877
01:25:21,439 --> 01:25:24,120
Speaker 2: It was a cruise for his family reunion. Yeah, so

1878
01:25:24,920 --> 01:25:28,120
Speaker 2: his mother, who you know, is in a very strict religion,

1879
01:25:28,360 --> 01:25:33,160
Speaker 2: was hanging out with me Polly White. Oh, I can't

1880
01:25:33,200 --> 01:25:34,960
Speaker 2: say he would be so mad at me, but it's

1881
01:25:35,040 --> 01:25:38,320
Speaker 2: a very strict Christianity where they had a comfortable I.

1882
01:25:38,320 --> 01:25:39,120
Speaker 1: Don't know they know.

1883
01:25:39,160 --> 01:25:42,120
Speaker 2: I don't think they believe in that Jesus wasn't the sun. Okay,

1884
01:25:42,400 --> 01:25:47,720
Speaker 2: that's the only hint to drop. But anyways, Yeah, so

1885
01:25:47,920 --> 01:25:50,120
Speaker 2: we're back in the hotel room. It's nighttime. We a

1886
01:25:50,160 --> 01:25:52,559
Speaker 2: little tipsy. We got the kids all settled out because

1887
01:25:52,560 --> 01:25:53,559
Speaker 2: I raised my son.

1888
01:25:53,439 --> 01:25:54,000
Speaker 1: And his son.

1889
01:25:54,760 --> 01:25:57,240
Speaker 2: His son lived with us too, Okay, so yeah, until

1890
01:25:57,280 --> 01:25:59,559
Speaker 2: I got him back with his baby's mother and now

1891
01:25:59,600 --> 01:26:02,639
Speaker 2: they're more harmonious. So the son went back to her. Anyway,

1892
01:26:03,800 --> 01:26:05,800
Speaker 2: So we're in the room, we're getting into it. We're

1893
01:26:05,800 --> 01:26:09,360
Speaker 2: about to have a sexual interlude and we're I'm rubbing

1894
01:26:09,439 --> 01:26:13,120
Speaker 2: his back and he's, you know, about to enter my body.

1895
01:26:13,280 --> 01:26:16,559
Speaker 2: And you know, this is men that had this magical wind.

1896
01:26:16,680 --> 01:26:19,560
Speaker 2: It's always that entry point where you can feel the

1897
01:26:19,720 --> 01:26:22,400
Speaker 2: power of his wind today. So I'm feeling the power

1898
01:26:22,479 --> 01:26:23,519
Speaker 2: of his wind today.

1899
01:26:23,600 --> 01:26:26,720
Speaker 1: What is he delivering to me? Today women aren't.

1900
01:26:26,439 --> 01:26:28,920
Speaker 2: Giving it up. We're receiving, right, you ever seen the

1901
01:26:29,000 --> 01:26:30,280
Speaker 2: act of sex? We're receiving.

1902
01:26:30,360 --> 01:26:32,519
Speaker 1: They giving it up? So he about to give it up?

1903
01:26:32,720 --> 01:26:37,960
Speaker 1: And what a guess, right gift?

1904
01:26:38,439 --> 01:26:40,960
Speaker 2: And so I started to talk about and remind him

1905
01:26:41,000 --> 01:26:44,000
Speaker 2: of the woman. I said her hips was so nice,

1906
01:26:44,080 --> 01:26:45,719
Speaker 2: baby like, how did they feel?

1907
01:26:45,840 --> 01:26:46,640
Speaker 1: Like? Feel my like?

1908
01:26:46,920 --> 01:26:49,519
Speaker 2: I was telling him feel my hips like, how did

1909
01:26:49,560 --> 01:26:50,120
Speaker 2: hers feel?

1910
01:26:50,360 --> 01:26:53,560
Speaker 1: They bigger? Huh? It was biggaus like this this this,

1911
01:26:53,760 --> 01:26:54,880
Speaker 1: I was telling him this, this.

1912
01:26:55,000 --> 01:26:58,800
Speaker 2: This about her, and this man just lost control, like

1913
01:26:59,000 --> 01:27:02,519
Speaker 2: just to bring her into it, into it, even without

1914
01:27:02,560 --> 01:27:05,200
Speaker 2: her being there, just bringing her essence because I could

1915
01:27:05,200 --> 01:27:07,600
Speaker 2: feel it too. It's just a beauty and what she

1916
01:27:07,760 --> 01:27:11,840
Speaker 2: possessed in our sensual endeavor at that moment, it just

1917
01:27:12,080 --> 01:27:12,840
Speaker 2: we went wild.

1918
01:27:14,600 --> 01:27:16,479
Speaker 1: I like that. That's a good that's a good test.

1919
01:27:16,520 --> 01:27:20,040
Speaker 1: That's a good one. It's a psychology, So that might

1920
01:27:20,080 --> 01:27:22,080
Speaker 1: be a good way to check. Bitch, can you do that?

1921
01:27:22,320 --> 01:27:25,040
Speaker 1: Are you going to be? Can you even pretend that

1922
01:27:25,280 --> 01:27:29,040
Speaker 1: you're man somebody else? That's one one drop, polly drop,

1923
01:27:29,120 --> 01:27:32,920
Speaker 1: that's that's a poly test. That's look, that's baby poll,

1924
01:27:33,400 --> 01:27:35,160
Speaker 1: that's baby. Probably one of what I think I could

1925
01:27:35,160 --> 01:27:36,639
Speaker 1: do that. I know I could do that. That's true.

1926
01:27:36,680 --> 01:27:40,120
Speaker 2: You need so simulations? Is that simulations? That's a simulation?

1927
01:27:40,320 --> 01:27:43,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I actually I've done that a lot and

1928
01:27:43,400 --> 01:27:44,160
Speaker 1: I know about it.

1929
01:27:44,800 --> 01:27:46,960
Speaker 2: Here y'all got old women sweating in here. I'm sorry

1930
01:27:47,960 --> 01:27:49,960
Speaker 2: you are not old. Bit. I know that.

1931
01:27:50,200 --> 01:27:50,800
Speaker 1: Great, but I.

1932
01:27:51,000 --> 01:27:53,360
Speaker 2: Love I wanted to get to age fifty for so

1933
01:27:53,520 --> 01:27:56,640
Speaker 2: long because teaching Polly for twenty years, it's like everybody's like, oh,

1934
01:27:56,680 --> 01:27:57,800
Speaker 2: they're young, that's just a tree.

1935
01:27:57,920 --> 01:28:02,280
Speaker 1: By now, I and the expert in this field, what.

1936
01:28:02,360 --> 01:28:05,120
Speaker 2: I do, what you did at the time into successful.

1937
01:28:05,160 --> 01:28:09,880
Speaker 1: I got receipts. Well, Kenya, thank you so much. You

1938
01:28:09,920 --> 01:28:22,040
Speaker 1: didn't read her tarot okay, Kenya. She pulled the page

1939
01:28:22,120 --> 01:28:23,000
Speaker 1: of pentacles.

1940
01:28:24,360 --> 01:28:28,120
Speaker 3: The page it's a man standing on a moey hill

1941
01:28:28,240 --> 01:28:32,479
Speaker 3: and the nice clear sky with the pinnacle in his hand.

1942
01:28:33,520 --> 01:28:35,160
Speaker 2: Pentacle of money.

1943
01:28:35,400 --> 01:28:36,439
Speaker 1: Pentacle of money.

1944
01:28:36,680 --> 01:28:39,479
Speaker 2: Yeah. Usually it means like tangible things.

1945
01:28:39,439 --> 01:28:46,559
Speaker 1: Money upright, manifestation, financial opportunity, skill development. The page of Pinnacles,

1946
01:28:46,560 --> 01:28:49,639
Speaker 1: like the pages of of all four tarot suits, brings

1947
01:28:49,680 --> 01:28:53,439
Speaker 1: a welcome message of new beginnings, inspiration, and the initial

1948
01:28:53,520 --> 01:28:57,080
Speaker 1: stages of a creative project or venture. Since Pinnacles rules

1949
01:28:57,120 --> 01:29:00,280
Speaker 1: the material realm, the court, and correspond to the element

1950
01:29:00,360 --> 01:29:03,960
Speaker 1: of earth. This page symbolizes a burgaining. That's what you say,

1951
01:29:04,120 --> 01:29:07,920
Speaker 1: burgeoning awareness of the value of money, wealth, possessions, career,

1952
01:29:08,000 --> 01:29:11,040
Speaker 1: and physical health, and how to manifest more of these

1953
01:29:11,120 --> 01:29:15,439
Speaker 1: material blessings. When the page of Pentacles appears in a

1954
01:29:15,520 --> 01:29:17,919
Speaker 1: terror reading, you are tapping into your ability to manifest

1955
01:29:18,200 --> 01:29:21,120
Speaker 1: a personal goal or dream, and maybe in the midst

1956
01:29:21,160 --> 01:29:23,519
Speaker 1: of a new project such as a hobby, business venture,

1957
01:29:23,640 --> 01:29:26,840
Speaker 1: or the start of a new educational experience. In the

1958
01:29:26,960 --> 01:29:30,280
Speaker 1: quest to materialize the dreams, the page of Pentacles is

1959
01:29:30,320 --> 01:29:33,200
Speaker 1: an avid student and seeks to learn the skills that

1960
01:29:33,280 --> 01:29:35,960
Speaker 1: will ensue his success long term. The page of Pinnacles

1961
01:29:36,000 --> 01:29:37,880
Speaker 1: often appears when you are ready to level up your

1962
01:29:37,880 --> 01:29:41,599
Speaker 1: skills and learn something new so you can manifest your dreams.

1963
01:29:42,320 --> 01:29:45,640
Speaker 2: Level up, lub level.

1964
01:29:46,040 --> 01:29:48,679
Speaker 1: Level up, level up. Level.

1965
01:29:49,600 --> 01:29:52,800
Speaker 3: Kenny is going to do our premarital counseling. Beautiful, We're

1966
01:29:52,840 --> 01:29:56,040
Speaker 3: going to be her first pre not already ten year

1967
01:29:56,240 --> 01:29:57,360
Speaker 3: or twenty year married.

1968
01:29:57,520 --> 01:29:59,360
Speaker 1: Ready to do pree Like, let's get this.

1969
01:29:59,439 --> 01:30:01,800
Speaker 2: I don't sugges people get married without me or get

1970
01:30:01,840 --> 01:30:04,160
Speaker 2: a divorce without me. There's no need to throw away

1971
01:30:04,160 --> 01:30:06,760
Speaker 2: our generational wealth and just keep starting over with the

1972
01:30:06,840 --> 01:30:07,759
Speaker 2: same issues.

1973
01:30:08,360 --> 01:30:10,240
Speaker 1: You don't have them anywhere you are, there you are

1974
01:30:12,240 --> 01:30:17,000
Speaker 1: say that again everywhere you are, where you are for real. Well,

1975
01:30:17,040 --> 01:30:20,080
Speaker 1: thank you for saving marriages, Thank you for opening up

1976
01:30:20,240 --> 01:30:22,880
Speaker 1: your life so that people can understand that there's just

1977
01:30:22,960 --> 01:30:25,799
Speaker 1: so many ways to live and so many relationship dynamics

1978
01:30:25,800 --> 01:30:29,639
Speaker 1: to explore. And shout out to Carl for being that nigga.

1979
01:30:31,800 --> 01:30:38,680
Speaker 1: Can you tell the people where they can find find you?

1980
01:30:38,800 --> 01:30:43,000
Speaker 2: Kenya, you can find me at Progressiveloveacademy dot Com on Instagram,

1981
01:30:43,160 --> 01:30:46,360
Speaker 2: I am Progressive Love Academy. On YouTube, I am Progressive

1982
01:30:46,400 --> 01:30:49,000
Speaker 2: Love Academy and the same on TikTok. You can get

1983
01:30:49,080 --> 01:30:52,040
Speaker 2: my books and of course download my app Meet a More,

1984
01:30:52,280 --> 01:30:55,439
Speaker 2: where you can practice your emotional intelligence and be linked

1985
01:30:55,520 --> 01:30:57,160
Speaker 2: with those on your emotional level.

1986
01:30:57,400 --> 01:31:02,280
Speaker 1: Okay, sounds sexy great, and you guys, you know where

1987
01:31:02,280 --> 01:31:04,799
Speaker 1: to find us A Good Mom's Underscore Bad Choices on Instagram.

1988
01:31:04,880 --> 01:31:07,000
Speaker 1: Make sure you subscribe to our YouTube channel. Make sure

1989
01:31:07,000 --> 01:31:08,880
Speaker 1: you rate and review this episode if you're listening on

1990
01:31:08,880 --> 01:31:12,559
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts or Spotify, and also make sure you check

1991
01:31:12,640 --> 01:31:15,519
Speaker 1: out our Couple's Retreat. It's almost time for our couple's

1992
01:31:15,560 --> 01:31:18,519
Speaker 1: retreat in Costa Rica. If you have met maybe an

1993
01:31:18,520 --> 01:31:21,000
Speaker 1: emotionally compatible manner, maybe like you guys, need to figure

1994
01:31:21,040 --> 01:31:23,559
Speaker 1: some shit out, Come on, come on to the couple's

1995
01:31:23,600 --> 01:31:26,240
Speaker 1: retreat and Costa Rica. It's gonna be fun. It's centered

1996
01:31:26,280 --> 01:31:29,479
Speaker 1: around play, it's centered around pleasure, a little bit of TNTRA,

1997
01:31:29,920 --> 01:31:33,599
Speaker 1: a lot a bit of hopefully good sex in your bedroom.

1998
01:31:34,280 --> 01:31:36,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is even in the beginning. If you're building

1999
01:31:36,280 --> 01:31:38,519
Speaker 3: a foundation, you just need someone to do the vacation

2000
01:31:38,680 --> 01:31:41,800
Speaker 3: for you. Come and play and enjoy, you know, your

2001
01:31:41,840 --> 01:31:44,679
Speaker 3: relationship without any interruptions, without having to think about anything.

2002
01:31:45,160 --> 01:31:46,599
Speaker 2: And also, you guys, it's May.

2003
01:31:46,840 --> 01:31:50,120
Speaker 3: It is our two year anniversary of a Good Mom's

2004
01:31:50,200 --> 01:31:53,080
Speaker 3: Guide to Making Bad Choices. If you have not read it,

2005
01:31:53,120 --> 01:31:56,000
Speaker 3: if you've not gotten it, it's everywhere. It's written by us.

2006
01:31:56,120 --> 01:31:58,479
Speaker 3: We put a lot of hard work, sweat, tears, and

2007
01:31:58,520 --> 01:31:59,880
Speaker 3: all of our honest stories in here.

2008
01:32:00,080 --> 01:32:02,120
Speaker 2: It's a prescriptive memoir.

2009
01:32:03,400 --> 01:32:05,760
Speaker 3: And if you know someone who's about to have a baby,

2010
01:32:05,800 --> 01:32:07,479
Speaker 3: about to go to baby shower, this is a great

2011
01:32:07,520 --> 01:32:10,320
Speaker 3: baby shower gift because this prepares the mother. A lot

2012
01:32:10,360 --> 01:32:12,120
Speaker 3: of books are talking about what do you do with

2013
01:32:12,200 --> 01:32:14,439
Speaker 3: the baby. What the fuck do you do with yourself

2014
01:32:14,479 --> 01:32:16,400
Speaker 3: when you just give birth? There's a lot of things

2015
01:32:16,439 --> 01:32:18,320
Speaker 3: that a woman goes through that no one talks about,

2016
01:32:18,640 --> 01:32:22,360
Speaker 3: and we talk about it all in this beautiful book

2017
01:32:22,400 --> 01:32:23,080
Speaker 3: that we designed.

2018
01:32:26,560 --> 01:32:33,679
Speaker 1: Well until next time, we love you. I believe. Yeah,

2019
01:32:34,200 --> 01:32:36,840
Speaker 1: I'm living so good. Can't you tell? I went through

2020
01:32:36,920 --> 01:32:37,320
Speaker 1: a drought?

2021
01:32:37,360 --> 01:32:39,880
Speaker 2: That's until I find out? Well, maym have been known earth?

2022
01:32:40,000 --> 01:32:42,200
Speaker 4: I used to be broken tail, now got the blues,

2023
01:32:42,280 --> 01:32:44,880
Speaker 4: hands and might beyond say just sell throat shot or

2024
01:32:44,960 --> 01:32:47,720
Speaker 4: pop in this cow wearing our voices patriarch and kept

2025
01:32:47,800 --> 01:32:49,200
Speaker 4: it in the box to what'spoids?

2026
01:32:49,400 --> 01:32:52,000
Speaker 1: Women put the p and powers, so what's pointless? They

2027
01:32:52,040 --> 01:32:54,479
Speaker 1: want me to be good? So I made bad noises,

2028
01:32:54,680 --> 01:32:57,120
Speaker 1: bad mom, not a bad mom, but a bad mom.

2029
01:32:57,240 --> 01:32:59,800
Speaker 1: Gitters in on, put cannabus in their bath bomb.

2030
01:33:00,200 --> 01:33:03,040
Speaker 4: Then Barcel's cap and I blewis cap boss hop dog.

2031
01:33:03,160 --> 01:33:05,640
Speaker 4: Now I'm immune to the cat called Herbie and the

2032
01:33:05,720 --> 01:33:08,200
Speaker 4: waisted straight to it like a dollar sign. Mother, rent

2033
01:33:08,200 --> 01:33:10,240
Speaker 4: the lover when two with it, like a water summer

2034
01:33:10,240 --> 01:33:12,800
Speaker 4: where you rent the winter essential will when the summertime,

2035
01:33:13,040 --> 01:33:13,760
Speaker 4: I do what doll

2036
01:33:13,840 --> 01:33:15,360
Speaker 2: Ain't no one that needs to run it by