Speaker 1: I just want to say, I'm so sorry. A girl.
Speaker 2: Should never deserve to grow up like this or be
Speaker 2: treated like this. I believe the little boys and little
Speaker 2: girls should have a mother and father that loved them.
Speaker 2: What's up, everybody, Welcome back to the podcast. Thanks for
Speaker 2: being here and listening. This is good for me because
Speaker 2: I actually, although I put these out every single Monday morning,
Speaker 2: I haven't actually recorded one in two or three at
Speaker 2: least two or three weeks, because I spent some time
Speaker 2: in Pakistan and Dubai recently, and so because of that,
Speaker 2: I front loaded the podcast and recorded a bunch of
Speaker 2: them in a row over the course of one week,
Speaker 2: like three weeks ago. So needless to say, I've kind
Speaker 2: of missed recording them. So I'm back on schedule now
Speaker 2: with you guys. I enjoy doing this. I enjoy kind
Speaker 2: of in the hectic moments of my life. I enjoy
Speaker 2: slowing down and reading your questions, which is what we
Speaker 2: do here.
Speaker 1: I read your.
Speaker 2: Questions that you send in to Grangersmith podcast at gmail
Speaker 2: dot com, walk through these emails like we're just two friends,
Speaker 2: just slow analysis. I don't have notes and books and
Speaker 2: quotes in front of me, so I'm gonna walk through
Speaker 2: it like you asked me.
Speaker 1: If we could talk.
Speaker 2: You know, we're in the cab of a truck and
Speaker 2: you say, hey, may can we talk about something? I
Speaker 2: have been talking all day? In fact, i've been I've
Speaker 2: done two podcasts this morning, other People's podcast, plus after
Speaker 2: midnight my radio show. So now I'm a little I'm
Speaker 2: a little bit horse, but I kind of live in
Speaker 2: a con state of a horse voice. But here I
Speaker 2: am diving into the first question, and I'm gonna go
Speaker 2: randomly into these questions. The first one says letting go.
Speaker 2: The question reads, Hey, Grangeer, my name is Maddie. My
Speaker 2: question is how do you learn how to let go
Speaker 2: of things? How do I let go of someone that
Speaker 2: I know I need to let go of, but I
Speaker 2: just keep wanting and wanting to go back to be
Speaker 2: with them, but I know I shouldn't. It's so hard
Speaker 2: to let go when you just want to go back
Speaker 2: with that same person, but everything is telling you to
Speaker 2: move on and you know that you should. It's just
Speaker 2: hurst to see things and people change, and it's so
Speaker 2: hard to let go. I hope you understand what I'm saying,
Speaker 2: and thank you for taking the time to read this, Maddie, Maddie, okay,
Speaker 2: diving in the first. First observation from your email is
Speaker 2: that you started out by saying, how do you learn
Speaker 2: to let go of things?
Speaker 1: But in reality, the email.
Speaker 2: Is actually about a person person that you're having trouble
Speaker 2: letting go of and you know you should, and you
Speaker 2: said everything is telling you to move on, which is
Speaker 2: probably your instinct, and it's your friends and family and
Speaker 2: everyone else around you is probably saying you gotta let go.
Speaker 2: So I'm not gonna do anything different here. I'm not
Speaker 2: going to tell you that you need to hang on,
Speaker 2: because you already know you need to let go. But
Speaker 2: that's not your question. Your question is how do I
Speaker 2: do it? So practically speaking, just practically, let's say because
Speaker 2: because your heart is involved and you're connected with this
Speaker 2: person intimately, and you know you shouldn't be so because
Speaker 2: that's kind of clouding your vision. Understandably it would mine
Speaker 2: it does anybody else, because that's clouding you. Let's not
Speaker 2: use the scenario of a person. Let's use the scenario
Speaker 2: of an actual thing or addiction or habit or something
Speaker 2: like that. So let's say this. Let's say you were
Speaker 2: trying to quit or let go of eating Oreo cookies. Right,
Speaker 2: It's not that far fetched of an idea. I think
Speaker 2: we've all gone through times in our life when we're like, man,
Speaker 2: I need to quit snacking on sweets so much. So
Speaker 2: I'll lay at the scenario for you. You want to let
Speaker 2: go of eating Oreo cookies, and yet you keep them
Speaker 2: in the pantry, or you keep them on the cabinet
Speaker 2: right there on the on the counter, or you have
Speaker 2: somebody living with you in your same house that continues
Speaker 2: to buy them in the grocery store and puts them
Speaker 2: in the cupboard. Right that, that's one scenario. So you
Speaker 2: wake up every day and you're walking through life and
Speaker 2: you're going, man, I need to let go of Oreo cookies.
Speaker 2: But here they are on the counter or the pantry,
Speaker 2: and it's there's your keys to your car, and you're
Speaker 2: going to work, and right by your keys is this
Speaker 2: cookie jar and there's Oreo cookies in there. That's very
Speaker 2: difficult to let go of. It's right there. All you
Speaker 2: have to do is grab it. And you might say, oh,
Speaker 2: so that's a matter of self discipline or willpower, agreed,
Speaker 2: But you have to set yourself up for success, and
Speaker 2: that's not doing it that way. Here's the other scenario.
Speaker 2: I need to let go of Oreo cookies. So I'm
Speaker 2: gonna eradicate my house. Any cookies that are left in
Speaker 2: the house, I'm throwing them in the trash and they're
Speaker 2: going out to the street. Okay, I will not buy
Speaker 2: any at a grocery store or at a gas station
Speaker 2: or convenience store or anywhere else. I'm not gonna buy
Speaker 2: Oreo cookies. I'm gonna tell the people I'm living with, mom, dad, friends, sibling, spouse, whatever, kids.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna tell them. Please, can you do me a
Speaker 2: solid here? I need just to let go of Oreo cookies.
Speaker 2: It's bobbing me that I keep snacking on them. It's
Speaker 2: become a habit and I want to let go of it.
Speaker 2: Can you please, out of your love for me, can
Speaker 2: you can you help me with something? Can you not
Speaker 2: buy Oreo cookies and bring them home to this house?
Speaker 2: Because it's affecting me. It's makes it more difficult to
Speaker 2: let it go. Okay, that's simple. That's simple, and that
Speaker 2: is a way to set yourself up for success. Out
Speaker 2: of sight, out of mind. You go to grab your
Speaker 2: keys and guess what, There's apples in the cookie jar
Speaker 2: instead of oreos, So you gotta if you're kind of hungry,
Speaker 2: you're gonna snack.
Speaker 1: You grab an apple.
Speaker 2: Why am I saying all this because I think that
Speaker 2: you might be I'm gonna bet that you might be
Speaker 2: dealing with something similar with this person in terms of
Speaker 2: they're on your Facebook feed or your social media Instagram, TikTok,
Speaker 2: whatever feed, or you have a friend that's still having
Speaker 2: dinner with this person all the time and you're seeing them.
Speaker 2: Maybe it's maybe you're seeing them at work some kind
Speaker 2: of scenario. There's still oreos in the cookie jar around you,
Speaker 2: and if you want to let it go, if you
Speaker 2: want to set yourself up for success, you need to
Speaker 2: get this out of your eyesight. Okay, get it out
Speaker 2: of sight, out of mind. Can you do it? Can
Speaker 2: you quit oreos with them still in the house?
Speaker 1: Sure?
Speaker 2: It just takes extreme willpower and self discipline. And I
Speaker 2: don't want to put you through that. I don't want
Speaker 2: to go through that. I want to set myself up
Speaker 2: for success right off the bat. If I'm wanting to
Speaker 2: let something go, okay, you know you need to do it.
Speaker 2: Block them on Facebook, block them on Instagram, tell your friends,
Speaker 2: sit them down and say can I do Can you
Speaker 2: do me a huge favor?
Speaker 1: I'm trying.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to avoid this person because my heart is
Speaker 2: still attached and I need to let go. Can you
Speaker 2: do me a favor and try to not bring them
Speaker 2: around me? If you know I'm coming over, would you
Speaker 2: mind warning me or can you tell them? Or can
Speaker 2: you please just do me a solid and let me
Speaker 2: know if that person is going to be around Just
Speaker 2: help me here? Okay, simple stuff, quitting oreos. Next question
Speaker 2: seems a little more serious, more detailed, says probably the
Speaker 2: subdecline says Prophecy and eschatology or the Gospel. Hey Granger,
Speaker 2: my name is Cody. I'm twenty seven years old from
Speaker 2: southern Illinois. So I had a dream the other night
Speaker 2: that I was standing in a desert and a little
Speaker 2: ways ahead of me was Jesus and surrounding him was Matthew, Mark, Luke,
Speaker 2: and John. I don't know how I knew it was them,
Speaker 2: but for some reason I just knew who they were.
Speaker 2: Jesus never spoke to me, but Matthew, Mark, Luke and
Speaker 2: John were telling me I need to go preach the Gospel.
Speaker 2: How do I know if this was a dream from
Speaker 2: Jesus or if it was just a random dream. Either way,
Speaker 2: I feel like I need to do what they were
Speaker 2: telling me to do. After all, that's what Jesus wants
Speaker 2: us all to do. I talked to my pastor about it,
Speaker 2: and he thinks it's truly from Jesus. As I said,
Speaker 2: I'm feeling called to do this, but I still have
Speaker 2: a ton to learn. I listen to the Bible on
Speaker 2: audiobook every day while I'm at work. I work at
Speaker 2: my local community college as a landscape maintenance man second shift,
Speaker 2: so I'm the only person on the entire campus. But
Speaker 2: I'm still in the Old Testament right now. However, I'm
Speaker 2: getting close to the New Testament. I'm currently in Execuel,
Speaker 2: but I'm having a hard time understanding and comprehending the Bible.
Speaker 2: My pastor said he would help me comprehend it better.
Speaker 2: I do have this podcast I listen to that gives
Speaker 2: you a thirty minute synopsis of each book to help
Speaker 2: you better understand the Bible. I also have a book
Speaker 2: called the Ultimate Bible Guide that explains each book better. However,
Speaker 2: I also feel very compelled to get a degree in
Speaker 2: Biblical study as well as Bible prophecy and eschatology. I
Speaker 2: listen to podcasts such as Prophecy Prose and Encounter Underground,
Speaker 2: as well as read books by Jeff Kinley and Alan Diddio.
Speaker 2: I guess what I'm asking is, do you think I
Speaker 2: should try to pursue the prophecy and eschatology degrees or
Speaker 2: just stick to the gospel. My wife thinks her and
Speaker 2: I should learn as much as we can first through
Speaker 2: our Bible study together as well as at church, before
Speaker 2: I start pursuing those things. But she is very supportive.
Speaker 2: But I feel as though the rapture will be here
Speaker 2: sooner than we think, and I don't want to see
Speaker 2: a bunch of people get left behind. Thank you for
Speaker 2: your time. Make God bless you and your families you
Speaker 2: enter into mindustry. Also, I look forward to seeing you
Speaker 2: and Marian on July twenty seventh. Sorry for such a
Speaker 2: long email, Have a great day and God speed. Okay,
Speaker 2: thank you, Cody. Sorry from our raspy voice here as
Speaker 2: I'm reading your email, thank you for your careful thoughts
Speaker 2: and ideas, and I'm going to walk it through you.
Speaker 2: I'm going to walk through this and I'm gonna give you.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna give you brotherly advice. I'm gonna give you
Speaker 2: advice as though me and you are friends, because I
Speaker 2: feel like we are. I want to think of us
Speaker 2: as friends, Okay, And I'm setting that up because I
Speaker 2: also want to give some tough love here, and I
Speaker 2: don't want it to sound like it's harsh or criticizing
Speaker 2: or bitter in any way. First, I want to say,
Speaker 2: just overall, just first analysis, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John,
Speaker 2: it would be very odd for those four men to
Speaker 2: be standing together because they came in different time periods.
Speaker 2: They were not all for disciples. Luke and Mark never
Speaker 2: walked with Jesus at all, so you could understand it's
Speaker 2: a little odd. Mark would have been a disciple of Peter,
Speaker 2: and Luke would have been a disciple of Paul. Neither
Speaker 2: of them walked with Jesus. Interesting if you think of
Speaker 2: it in terms of your dream had them altogether with Jesus. Listen,
Speaker 2: not saying that, don't read too deep into that. I'm
Speaker 2: just saying that's the first thought. It's interesting. The second
Speaker 2: thought is you said they're speaking to you Matthew, Mark Luke,
Speaker 2: and John are telling you you need to go preach
Speaker 2: the gospel. Right, Well, that is not that's not prophecy.
Speaker 2: In fact, that's just the Great commission, and the Bible
Speaker 2: is going to tell us the same exact thing. So
Speaker 2: in a way, it's good that you're lining up truth
Speaker 2: that's already in the Bible.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: So that's how you can confirm that something is right
Speaker 2: because you can always confirm it. There is no new prophecy,
Speaker 2: there's no new command, there's no new information that no
Speaker 2: one ever knew before coming to you. That's never going
Speaker 2: to happen unless you could back it up clearly with
Speaker 2: the whole of scripture.
Speaker 1: Okay, so.
Speaker 2: You're getting a command from this dream that is aligning
Speaker 2: with the Bible, the great commission, go forth make disciples
Speaker 2: of all nations, right, that's the Great commission. And then
Speaker 2: digging further into this, so right there, you say, do
Speaker 2: you think that was just a dream or Okay, digging
Speaker 2: further into this, you immediately go from that how you're
Speaker 2: supposed to go and share the Gospel, you go directly
Speaker 2: into You're still working through the Bible yourself, and you
Speaker 2: have a lot to learn in fact, you haven't read
Speaker 2: any of the New Testament yet, I'm assuming, and you're
Speaker 2: only a little bit way through the Old Testament in Ezekiel.
Speaker 2: So the first thought is how are you going to
Speaker 2: preach or teach or share what you don't fully know yet?
Speaker 2: So first step is equip yourself, equip yourself, learn, pump
Speaker 2: the breaks, take your time, be affirmed by people in
Speaker 2: the faith that have been doing this for a long time.
Speaker 2: There's no rush, there's no rush out of the door.
Speaker 2: You don't need to be running off and sharing the
Speaker 2: gospel that you don't that you haven't even read yet. Okay,
Speaker 2: So that's friendly advice and just out of love, pump
Speaker 2: the breaks. Here there's a lot. There's a lot to learn,
Speaker 2: a lot to study, a lot to be affirmed in,
Speaker 2: and a lot to equip from. Then we get to
Speaker 2: another part of the question, and that is the prophecy
Speaker 2: eschatology question. Eschatology for people that don't know, is study
Speaker 2: of end times. So you might have heard me before.
Speaker 1: And by the way, I do.
Speaker 2: I do not know these podcasts that you mentioned, and
Speaker 2: I do not know these authors that you mentioned. That's okay,
Speaker 2: I don't know a lot of podcasts and a lot
Speaker 2: of authors. But we're going to dive into your idea
Speaker 2: of should you pursue prophecy and eschatology degrees or just
Speaker 2: stick to the Gospel. Well, first of all, you don't
Speaker 2: have to choose between the two, because the Gospel is
Speaker 2: always gonna be a heavily studied thing that you do
Speaker 2: for the rest of your life. The Gospel is going
Speaker 2: to infiltrate everything. There is no eschatology without gospel. There
Speaker 2: is no prophecy without gospel. Otherwise it's just straight heresy.
Speaker 2: The Gospel needs to infiltrate everything you do. You don't
Speaker 2: choose should I do a little gospel or should I
Speaker 2: do a little prophecy, because if you don't have gospel,
Speaker 2: you have nothing but satanic lies. In this other hand, okay,
Speaker 2: I'm just that's straight up what the truth is. So
Speaker 2: you don't have to choose. It's all going to go together.
Speaker 2: The Gospels always going to be there. It needs to
Speaker 2: always be there. But if you've heard me on this
Speaker 2: podcast before speak about eschatology, I am concerned with that
Speaker 2: word and with becoming obsessed with eschatology. I'm concerned with
Speaker 2: let me speak clearly, I'm concerned with people worrying about
Speaker 2: the end times, because we are, in almost every sense
Speaker 2: of that term, living in the end times now, and
Speaker 2: we have been since Christ was born and he ushered
Speaker 2: in the present age of the Kingdom. The end times
Speaker 2: officially began when he ascended into heaven right, and so
Speaker 2: the end times started in the first century, so people
Speaker 2: have been living in the times for two thousand years.
Speaker 2: It's very important important to understand that. And you say, well, well, Granger,
Speaker 2: all the prophecies are coming together, like rumors of wars
Speaker 2: and pestilence and storms and disease and mark at the beast,
Speaker 2: and this is all coming to fruition now. And I say,
Speaker 2: I'm concerned because that stuff has come to fruition many
Speaker 2: times in history, first of all. And you could argue me,
Speaker 2: and you could. You could, you could push against this,
Speaker 2: and that's okay. This is not a this is not
Speaker 2: a disagreement. I'm just voicing a concern that I think
Speaker 2: people get caught up in that stuff. Like you, you're
Speaker 2: saying you feel as though the rapture is going to
Speaker 2: be here sooner than we think, and you don't want
Speaker 2: to see a bunch of people get left behind. I
Speaker 2: promise you, brother, I promise you ninety nine point nine
Speaker 2: nine nine nine ninety nine percent chance you will die
Speaker 2: on this earth without seeing the quote unquote rapture that
Speaker 2: you're talking about. So are you going to concern yourself
Speaker 2: with the point zero zero zero zeros zers zero years
Speaker 2: zeros zeros years zero one? Are are you going to
Speaker 2: concern yourself with infiltrating the Gospel in you and carrying
Speaker 2: out the great commission sharing the good News with the world,
Speaker 2: because that's what you're commanded to do right now. And people,
Speaker 2: what I'm concerned about is people start worrying about the
Speaker 2: zero zero zero years z is a zero one percent
Speaker 2: and they get caught up in looking for signs and
Speaker 2: trying to use Revelation as a roadmap, the Book of
Speaker 2: Revelation as a roadmap to look, look when the Antichrist
Speaker 2: is coming and he's going to be here for three
Speaker 2: and a half years here and then and then he's
Speaker 2: going to reveal himself. And like, you start reading that
Speaker 2: as a roadmap and you start getting off track, you
Speaker 2: start forgetting the whole purpose of the Gospel. So let's
Speaker 2: not do that. You could great, you want to study
Speaker 2: that ten years from now, after you've equipped yourself and
Speaker 2: you've completely armed yourself with the gospel, and you're very
Speaker 2: well read, and you're good at proselytizing and evangelizing, and
Speaker 2: you fill the Holy Spirit, and you want to study
Speaker 2: a little bit more about eschatology.
Speaker 1: Cool, cool, cool cool.
Speaker 2: I'm talking ten years down the road. But don't get
Speaker 2: caught up in it now, because it could become an
Speaker 2: idol to you. It can become an obsession. Just check Twitter.
Speaker 2: People are all over this stuff like end of Times,
Speaker 2: mark of the Beast, anti Christ, Christ is coming back,
Speaker 2: white horse, here we go. It's like, man, how long
Speaker 2: you think people have been saying that and their focus
Speaker 2: is just getting Jesus would say, stop looking for signs,
Speaker 2: stop it. I am here now. The Kingdom is here now. Okay,
Speaker 2: Christ is present with us. Now stop looking for him
Speaker 2: coming later, and start realizing that he's here now.
Speaker 1: The Kingdom is with us. Now.
Speaker 2: Preach the gospel that way, not the eschatology way.
Speaker 1: Take a break here at that.
Speaker 2: If you want to get a hold of me for
Speaker 2: some reason, maybe get a video message from me. You
Speaker 2: could do that through cameo dot com, slash Granger Smith,
Speaker 2: or you could download the Cameo app c am eo
Speaker 2: and search for me Granger Smith. It's a great way
Speaker 2: to maybe get a last minute gift to somebody, maybe
Speaker 2: a birthday present, maybe a baby announcement. I've done a
Speaker 2: lot of those happy anniversary. If you're like, man, what
Speaker 2: can I get this person? They kind of have everything
Speaker 2: or there's nothing they need. You can get me to
Speaker 2: give you a customized video message. And I've been doing
Speaker 2: this for a long time. Cameo is very efficient and
Speaker 2: it's just a good organization, a good company that I've
Speaker 2: worked with since probably two thousand and eighteen ish. It's
Speaker 2: just part of my daily routine is I check and
Speaker 2: see if I have any Cameo request. I pull up
Speaker 2: the app and then it says, Hey, Granger, it's my
Speaker 2: son's birthday, Luke, he's turning eleven. Can you wish him
Speaker 2: a happy birthday? These are some things that he likes,
Speaker 2: and these are the songs that he likes from you.
Speaker 2: And I see it right there on my screen, and
Speaker 2: so then I say, what's up, Luke, it's Granger. I
Speaker 2: heard from your mom. I heard you're turning eleven. Happy birthday, buddy.
Speaker 2: Thank you for being a fan of the song d
Speaker 2: Sol and I hear that you like four wheelers and
Speaker 2: you like hunting Dove or whatever it might be. Anyway,
Speaker 2: that's just a scenario that I love to do. Cameo
Speaker 2: dot com slash Granger Smith or download the cameo app
Speaker 2: search for me Granger Smith. My book Like a River
Speaker 2: is coming out August the first, twenty and twenty three,
Speaker 2: so getting so close from the time I'm recording this,
Speaker 2: I'm one month away from that release, so just so
Speaker 2: exciting to finally get my full story out there into
Speaker 2: the public. So you could either read the book, you
Speaker 2: could listen to the audio book. You can get it
Speaker 2: on Kindle wherever you love to find books. You could
Speaker 2: pre order that right now grangersmith dot Com I'm using
Speaker 2: as kind of the hub that will kick you out
Speaker 2: to all the different sites like Barnes and Noble and Amazon,
Speaker 2: Walmart dot com, all that kind of stuff. You can
Speaker 2: go to grangersmith dot com as the hub to all that.
Speaker 2: But I'm excited because this is a book about my
Speaker 2: journey and my story since we lost my son River
Speaker 2: in twenty nineteen, and then moving forward to how we
Speaker 2: walked through that journey, how we got to where we
Speaker 2: are now, and I think a lot of y'all will
Speaker 2: be surprised because it's there are some things in this
Speaker 2: book I've never talked about in public in any other forum.
Speaker 2: So when the book comes out, we'll be able to
Speaker 2: discuss further. But meanwhile, be looking for like a river
Speaker 2: wherever you love to find books. You could pre order
Speaker 2: it now, which helps me to get it, kind of
Speaker 2: kick up the algorithm, and then it'll be on the
Speaker 2: shelves August. First, thank you all for listening. Back to
Speaker 2: the podcast. All right, back to the questions. If you
Speaker 2: have one for me, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna jump into this one subject line. How do
Speaker 2: I know she's the one? Hey Granger, My name is Ty. Basically,
Speaker 2: I'm homeschooled and I met a girl at homeschool conference
Speaker 2: that and she just felt different. We didn't talk besides
Speaker 2: in a group for a little bit. She felt different
Speaker 2: than any crushes I've ever had before because she was
Speaker 2: someone important. So I went home and prayed about it,
Speaker 2: asked for a sign. And it had also been my
Speaker 2: birth birthday recently, and my grandmother always gave us a
Speaker 2: prophetic word and our birthday cards, and I had forgotten
Speaker 2: about the card, and the next day, after I prayed,
Speaker 2: I remembered I was supposed to open that card, and
Speaker 2: in it she talked about me throwing out She had
Speaker 2: seen me throwing out my rope to catch a bunch
Speaker 2: of roses, and how she thought it meant I was
Speaker 2: ready for a girlfriend. I always feel like I'm not
Speaker 2: good enough for her. Though I'm seventeen, she's fifteen. I
Speaker 2: don't have any way of contacting her, and I feel
Speaker 2: like the age gap is an issue for.
Speaker 1: A few years.
Speaker 2: I will see her again next year, and I don't
Speaker 2: know if I'll have something to do about it. So yeah,
Speaker 2: just wondering what your advice would be. Okay, Ty, thanks
Speaker 2: for emailing brother. You are seventeen. Okay, it's interesting. Before
Speaker 2: the break we talked about prophecy almost in the same way,
Speaker 2: and I got to say, I got a lot of
Speaker 2: emails about this kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: It comes in a lot.
Speaker 2: I want to give full respect to Grandma, but Ty,
Speaker 2: do you need let me ask you this, just as
Speaker 2: a friend, do you need, if you like a girl,
Speaker 2: for Grandma to give you a birthday card with a
Speaker 2: prophetic word?
Speaker 1: About you.
Speaker 2: Throwing out a bunch of roses, catching catching a bunch
Speaker 2: of roses, to tell you that you are justified in
Speaker 2: liking the girl. Really, no, no, no, no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 2: Your grandma doesn't need to tell you that it's okay
Speaker 2: to like a girl or it's time to start dating.
Speaker 2: I don't need to tell you that it's okay to
Speaker 2: like a girl and it's time to start dating. You're seventeen,
Speaker 2: your body is changing, and you are You're in to girls,
Speaker 2: maybe for the first time. Maybe this is the first time,
Speaker 2: and that's okay. Maybe it started at twelve, maybe it
Speaker 2: starts at twenty five. Either way, no one has to
Speaker 2: tell you when it's time to like a girl. Not
Speaker 2: a birthday card from grandma, and not Granger Smith on
Speaker 2: the podcast You know it with everything inside you. You
Speaker 2: lay your head down in your pillow at night, and
Speaker 2: you go, I can't stop thinking about that girl. She's special,
Speaker 2: she talks different, she gets me, I get her. Our
Speaker 2: conversations are great. I really like this girl. Regardless of
Speaker 2: what a birthday card says, right or some prophecy. That's weird.
Speaker 2: That's weird, all respect to Grandma.
Speaker 1: That's weird.
Speaker 2: You don't need that, ty you like this girl. It's okay.
Speaker 2: There's no rush.
Speaker 1: I think.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm here to tell you is there's no rush.
Speaker 2: There's no need to worry or think about. Oh no,
Speaker 2: there's the age difference. I'm seventeen and she's fifteen. That's normal.
Speaker 2: Here's the good news. You're going to see her next year.
Speaker 2: You are going to see her next year, right, write
Speaker 2: her letters. I don't know, write write a few letters
Speaker 2: to her. You said you have don't have a way
Speaker 2: to contact her. That's okay.
Speaker 1: Look, get a notebook. Get a notebook, and.
Speaker 2: This will be good, a good practice even for you,
Speaker 2: regardless of you see her. If you see her or not,
Speaker 2: it doesn't matter, irregardless. So take the notebook and just say,
Speaker 2: dear girl, I've been thinking about you. I like you.
Speaker 2: I want to tell you a little bit about myself,
Speaker 2: and don't you don't have to give it to her.
Speaker 2: In fact, I wouldn't. That's kind of creepy. But if
Speaker 2: you married her, you could actually did that with Amber.
Speaker 1: I wrote her.
Speaker 2: I wrote several pages in a notebook and didn't give
Speaker 2: it to her until the night before her wedding. Gave
Speaker 2: it to her, So pour out your feelings that way,
Speaker 2: it might help you understand them a little more. And
Speaker 2: then when you see her next year, find some time
Speaker 2: to pull her aside. And I don't know when or
Speaker 2: how this is going to work when you're gonna see her,
Speaker 2: but find some time, take a walk in a park
Speaker 2: and just say I gotta tell you. Can I tell
Speaker 2: you something? I just I really like you. I'm reading
Speaker 2: your words, Ty, I really like you. And we've talked
Speaker 2: for a little bit.
Speaker 1: I just.
Speaker 2: You're different than any crush I've ever had.
Speaker 1: You are different.
Speaker 2: You feel important to me, and I've prayed for a
Speaker 2: girl like you, and I'm just awkward and embarrassed because
Speaker 2: I've never felt this way before, and I wanted to
Speaker 2: reach out to you and just just tell you. And
Speaker 2: I hope you feel the same way, but even if
Speaker 2: you don't, I just I wanted to get it off
Speaker 2: my chest because I think I think you're really cute
Speaker 2: and really interesting and funny and smart and all the
Speaker 2: qualities that I like in a girl. And if you're
Speaker 2: not that girl for me, then at least I know
Speaker 2: a little bit more about the girl of my dreams.
Speaker 2: I just wanted to tell you that, and she's either
Speaker 2: going to go, oh, that's so sweet. I don't see
Speaker 2: ourselves like that, we're just friends. Or she's going to go,
Speaker 2: I've been thinking about you too over this last year,
Speaker 2: and I was hoping you'd say something like that. By
Speaker 2: then she's sixteen or eighteen. You take it slow, continue
Speaker 2: that path. But that's it. There's no like crazy, weird,
Speaker 2: mumbo jumbo type, you know, secret sauce. It's just being honest,
Speaker 2: being vulnerable.
Speaker 1: That's it. More. Let's see here.
Speaker 2: How about if I jump into a this looks in
Speaker 2: interesting right subdecline says how to stop hating mom? I
Speaker 2: wonder what this says, ey grand I'd like to stay anonymous.
Speaker 2: I need help moving past the situation from my past.
Speaker 1: I need help.
Speaker 2: I need help moving past the situation from my past,
Speaker 2: and I'm not sure how to do it, since it's
Speaker 2: something that I think I'll think about almost every day.
Speaker 2: A little backstory. My mom and I have never been close.
Speaker 2: When she had custody of me as a child, she
Speaker 2: would drop me off a daycare and pick me up
Speaker 2: at the end of the day every time. I was
Speaker 2: always respectful when I was with her and tried not
Speaker 2: to cause her problems. Anyways, when I was sixteen I'm
Speaker 2: now twenty. The last thing my mom said to me
Speaker 2: was I hate you. You are such a C word
Speaker 2: and a B word. You were the biggest regret of
Speaker 2: my life. This was the day I got confirmed at
Speaker 2: church too, So a day that I was supposed to
Speaker 2: be really that was supposed to be really special, turned
Speaker 2: into one of the worst days of my life. So
Speaker 2: my question to you is this, how could I move
Speaker 2: past this that has been on my mind for the
Speaker 2: last four years. Deep down, I want to forgive her
Speaker 2: and move on, but it's not necessarily the easiest thing
Speaker 2: to do. Any advice would be great. Thanks for all
Speaker 2: you do, Anonymous. Anonymous, thank you for being vulnerable and
Speaker 2: opening up in this way. And I want to say,
Speaker 2: first of all, before anything, I just want to say,
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: A girl.
Speaker 2: Should never deserve to grow up like this or be
Speaker 2: treated like this. I believe that little boys and little
Speaker 2: girls should have a mother and father that loved them
Speaker 2: and that respect them, and that selflessly raise them. But
Speaker 2: that is not the world that we live in. We
Speaker 2: live in a fallen world where sin has infiltrated.
Speaker 1: The earth, and.
Speaker 2: What are we going to do with that? What are
Speaker 2: we going to do with the fact that we live
Speaker 2: in a fallen world and there aren't There aren't always
Speaker 2: perfect families with perfect mothers raising perfect daughters.
Speaker 1: That is not the case.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm want to leave with that and just say
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry, And then I want to say this.
Speaker 2: You are so strong for thinking through this and for
Speaker 2: listening to podcasts like this one and writing me in
Speaker 2: a way where you are You're really being so selfless
Speaker 2: about this email itself and just saying, listen, I want
Speaker 2: to forgive her and I want to move on, but
Speaker 2: it's not the easiest thing to do, That's what you're saying,
Speaker 2: And you're underplaying that this is really hard. I have
Speaker 2: not been in your situation, so I cannot imagine, and
Speaker 2: I would imagine, if anything, that you're underplaying just how
Speaker 2: difficult this is. Okay, So all that being said, you
Speaker 2: forgiving your mother doesn't have anything to do with her
Speaker 2: accepting that forgiveness or changing or being someone different at all.
Speaker 2: You forgiving your mother is a release from you. It's
Speaker 2: a letting go of holding on to a grudge. So
Speaker 2: by you letting that grudge go, you're opening up your
Speaker 2: clenched fist to her, and you're saying, I am no
Speaker 2: longer holding a grudge against you. I'm no longer thinking
Speaker 2: of you as the perfect parent, because no one is perfect.
Speaker 2: And I am hereby letting go of anything that I
Speaker 2: might have been holding against you, because.
Speaker 1: I know that we have a sovereign God.
Speaker 2: Okay, you don't have to say that, because I don't
Speaker 2: know if you believe that, but that's what I believe.
Speaker 2: We have a sovereign God that is always working for
Speaker 2: the greater good, allowing certain things to happen to us,
Speaker 2: including evil things, for always for a greater good. Now,
Speaker 2: to prove that is not a contradiction at all of
Speaker 2: a loving God that allows evil to happen, it's super
Speaker 2: easy to prove that that's not a contradiction. I don't
Speaker 2: have to prove that God. I don't have to prove
Speaker 2: what his reason is. I only have to prove that
Speaker 2: that kind of scenario is possible. And you could use
Speaker 2: any example.
Speaker 1: Here's one.
Speaker 2: This is a bad analogy, but I could take it
Speaker 2: my child to a person in a room with a light,
Speaker 2: and I could sit my child down in a chair,
Speaker 2: and I could have that person inflict pain on my
Speaker 2: child and I could stand there and watch it happen
Speaker 2: as my child is in pain and maybe a little scared,
Speaker 2: and I could pay that person to inflict the pain
Speaker 2: and a little fear into my child. Is that awful
Speaker 2: and evil of me? Does that make me an evil person?
Speaker 2: What if I told you that I was taking my
Speaker 2: child to the dentist and I was doing that because
Speaker 2: I love my child, not because I'm evil. I love
Speaker 2: my child and I know that the end result of
Speaker 2: this momentary pain and momentary fear equals straight teeth in
Speaker 2: the future, which will result in a huge benefit for
Speaker 2: my child. Because I love my child, That's why.
Speaker 1: I do it.
Speaker 2: So that small scenario proves that there is no contradiction
Speaker 2: by God allowing evil to happen to us for a
Speaker 2: greater good. I don't have to tell you what the
Speaker 2: greater good is. All of that being said to you, Anonymous,
Speaker 2: is that you can forgive your mother without needing her
Speaker 2: to reply or change or fix anything, or heal anything.
Speaker 2: This is for you. You can call her up, you
Speaker 2: can write her an email or a text, send her
Speaker 2: a letter, whatever it might be, and just say Mom,
Speaker 2: I love you because you're my mother and you carried
Speaker 2: me for nine months inside your body. Now, I know
Speaker 2: we've had our disagreements, and that's saying it lightly, right,
Speaker 2: but I just want to let you know, regardless of
Speaker 2: what has happened, I love you and I forgive you.
Speaker 2: And what you're saying is I hereby release any kind
Speaker 2: of regret or anger or remorse or grudge that I
Speaker 2: hold against you. Here's the kicker, Anonymous, here's the kicker.
Speaker 2: You don't have to believe that, because a big part
Speaker 2: of you is going to go, No, I don't forgive,
Speaker 2: I don't release my grudge. I'm still angry. How dare
Speaker 2: a human being treat their their own flesh and blood
Speaker 2: child like my mother did to me. A part of
Speaker 2: you is going to say that, and I can't make
Speaker 2: that part of you stop. But the rational part, the
Speaker 2: front part of your brain, is going to say this
Speaker 2: and write this and type this and text this.
Speaker 1: I forgive you.
Speaker 2: And as as your brain says it and your heart
Speaker 2: is screaming against it, you say it. You put it
Speaker 2: out there, and you send the message and you let
Speaker 2: your heart catch up later. Because I promise you that's
Speaker 2: the beginning of healing for all of this. There is
Speaker 2: so much pain you have caught up with this, with
Speaker 2: your mother, daughter's stuff going on here, and it's gonna
Speaker 2: begin with you just going, you know what, I'm not
Speaker 2: gonna hold this anymore. I'm gonna let all of this go.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna hold this anymore. I'm not I'm not
Speaker 2: perfect myself. I've messed up many times. I am not
Speaker 2: someone that needs that, that thinks I'm on a higher
Speaker 2: standard than anyone. Right, this is you and me talk,
Speaker 2: it's all of us. So I'm gonna release that. I'm
Speaker 2: gonna go, you know what, I'm gonna hold I'm not
Speaker 2: holding onto this anymore. I forgive you, Mom. Now she's
Speaker 2: gonna go. She could respond and go, I don't care
Speaker 2: what you do, I don't care what you say. You
Speaker 2: are a B word, you are a C word. And
Speaker 2: you go, well, that's not surprising that you would react
Speaker 2: like that. But it's not something you did that earned forgiveness, right,
Speaker 2: It's something I did with my own personal grace to you, Mom,
Speaker 2: because you're my mother, that I'm releasing you from my
Speaker 2: own grace. I'm saying, I forgive you. What's crazy is
Speaker 2: how this relates to the Gospel of g and Us
Speaker 2: and that's another story. Let's continue another question here. This
Speaker 2: next one says, Hey Granger, I'm twenty one years old.
Speaker 2: I'm a guy who would like to stay anonymous, but
Speaker 2: I still need some advice on how to handle a
Speaker 2: situation with one of my friends. I met her at
Speaker 2: college last fall and we've become good friends. But recently
Speaker 2: my feelings toward her have changed and I have a
Speaker 2: big crush on her. She's a Christian, which is the
Speaker 2: biggest box for me. I know we can't really date
Speaker 2: because she's going on to stint with Crewe in Slovakia
Speaker 2: for a year, and other reasons to where we wouldn't
Speaker 2: work long term. And if only if I've only got
Speaker 2: to date, If I'm only going to date to Mary,
Speaker 2: then we shouldn't date to guard each other's hearts. I'm
Speaker 2: not sure if I should talk to her about this,
Speaker 2: just try ignore my feelings for now, or what I
Speaker 2: should do from here?
Speaker 1: Thanks Anonymous.
Speaker 2: All right, buddy, let's see let me kind of decompress this.
Speaker 2: Sorry about my scratchy voice. Guys twenty one years old,
Speaker 2: you have a girl that she's a friend, but now
Speaker 2: you're feeling more than friends. But the problem is she's
Speaker 2: about to take off for a year. You're worried.
Speaker 1: Okay, I got it. So when we say when.
Speaker 2: We say you should guard your heart, you should protect
Speaker 2: your heart. That doesn't mean don't ever say you like
Speaker 2: a girl. Right, there's guarding your heart from heartbreak, or
Speaker 2: from hurt is, or because you're too young. All of
Speaker 2: those reasons are way way wait, wait, way down the
Speaker 2: road after you say you like them. You gotta peak
Speaker 2: up at all costs at the beginning. Otherwise you're gonna
Speaker 2: be full of would it, could have, should have done?
Speaker 2: And this sounds like a pretty cool girl. Gotta be
Speaker 2: honest with you. It sounds like she's got a lot
Speaker 2: going on, sounds like she's very self less, she's a Christian,
Speaker 2: she's going to Slovakia for a year. That she sounds
Speaker 2: pretty cool. You don't find them like that too often.
Speaker 2: So I don't think there's anything wrong, Anonymous. I don't
Speaker 2: think there's anything wrong with you having coffee with her
Speaker 2: and saying this the very beginning. These are the kind
Speaker 2: of stories you hear often that people end up getting married. Right,
Speaker 2: It's like, this is how it starts. I think you'd
Speaker 2: be honest, and you say exactly what you told me
Speaker 2: over coffee before she leaves to Slovakia. You say, can
Speaker 2: I tell you something? I I don't know how to
Speaker 2: say this in a way without me feeling embarrassed, but
Speaker 2: I need to say it because.
Speaker 1: The feeling is overwhelming. But I like you.
Speaker 2: I think you're super cool. I think you're somebody that
Speaker 2: I could see myself with. And I also see that
Speaker 2: there are problems with me saying this right now, because
Speaker 2: you're about to leave for a year and I don't
Speaker 2: know what that means, and maybe you don't like me
Speaker 2: at all. Maybe this is all just maybe you could
Speaker 2: shut it down right now, And maybe partly that's what
Speaker 2: I'm looking for, is for you to say, oh, honey,
Speaker 2: I don't have any kind of feelings for you, but
Speaker 2: if you do, Can I be your pinpal way you're
Speaker 2: in Slovakia? Could I be someone that you know Once
Speaker 2: a week or so you hit me up on an
Speaker 2: email and you tell me how things are going, and
Speaker 2: i'd tell you how things are going over here. Then
Speaker 2: maybe I could be someone that helps encourage you. Maybe
Speaker 2: you're gonna be lonely in Slovakia. And I could be
Speaker 2: there to just kind of give you a little pick
Speaker 2: me up. If not, I just wanted to tell you
Speaker 2: because I needed to get it off my heart. And
Speaker 2: if you are that's someone, then I'm excited for you
Speaker 2: to come back and see where the next coffee date
Speaker 2: is going to be. Listen, dude, I don't think there's
Speaker 2: anything wrong with that. I don't think. I don't think
Speaker 2: that's moving at a pace it's too fast, or that's
Speaker 2: unguarding your heart, that's opening up the security gates of
Speaker 2: your heart.
Speaker 1: I don't see that. So I think that there's nothing
Speaker 1: wrong with you just being honest.
Speaker 2: Now, if you said this, if you said, look, I
Speaker 2: love you and I want to marry you, and I
Speaker 2: don't feel like I should ever say that to someone
Speaker 2: that I don't feel like I'm gonna marry and I
Speaker 2: do feel like I'm going to marry you because I
Speaker 2: love you. If you start saying that now, you're not
Speaker 2: going your heart right. But all we're talking about is
Speaker 2: coffee and just saying you like her, you think she's cool,
Speaker 2: you'd like to get her to.
Speaker 1: Know her a little bit more. I don't think. I
Speaker 1: don't think there's anything wrong with that.
Speaker 2: I appreciate you you opening up that story with me
Speaker 2: and I wish you the best. Thank you. I appreciate
Speaker 2: all you guys for your questions and that's all the
Speaker 2: time we have. I'll see you next Monday. Thanks for
Speaker 2: joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast. I appreciate all.
Speaker 1: Of you guys.
Speaker 2: You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes.
Speaker 2: If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that
Speaker 2: little like button and notification spell so that you never
Speaker 2: miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a
Speaker 2: question for me that you would like me to answer,
Speaker 2: email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com.