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Speaker 1: What would you talk about on your on your podcast

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Speaker 1: present show the beginning of the podcast. Ye, casual, you

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Speaker 1: know you're plugged. I don't hear Sam, I was right,

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Speaker 1: it was not plugged in. Nope, you're plugged in, thank you. Alright, alright,

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Speaker 1: so some of those are here, Nate, Yeah, I'm here

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Speaker 1: with us and Garrett and gar just kind of popped

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Speaker 1: right in there, slid in before we get into it.

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Speaker 1: Can I can I show you guys something? Yeah? I

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Speaker 1: just know those ask gaskets you use cover the toilet

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Speaker 1: seat in public bathrooms, gaskets. This is the one. Like,

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Speaker 1: how then do you even use this pulling it out?

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Speaker 1: I am careful, I'm working now. You have to live

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Speaker 1: up and then down. That's how you lift up and

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Speaker 1: then down. These things are just designed to see. It

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Speaker 1: just popped apart. This thing is useless. I like that

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Speaker 1: you brought it back for evidence about how useless? Right?

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's that's a one. Let me put it

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Speaker 1: this way. It's not the actual one to use. I

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Speaker 1: just showed you the example of what happens when you

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Speaker 1: pull these things out. I actually take the first one out,

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Speaker 1: white the seat with it, then use another one to

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Speaker 1: cover Oh, I always wipe the seat with toilet paper.

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Speaker 1: It's much more absorbent. I'm glad you're not trying to

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Speaker 1: you how to wipe your ass with one of those,

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Speaker 1: because there was no toilet paper been there. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: learned something about a year ago that I didn't know

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Speaker 1: for years. I used to struggle to get those to

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Speaker 1: stay on because I used to put the flap on

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Speaker 1: the butt half of the seat, right. But if you

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Speaker 1: turn it around and put it by the penis or

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Speaker 1: the vagina side of the seat, it works much better.

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Speaker 1: And then he hits it and keeps it in. But

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Speaker 1: if you poop on it and pull it down and

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Speaker 1: so your dick doesn't hit the rim toilet too beautiful. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: d p, that's what William calls him. That's got nothing

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Speaker 1: to do with your balls dipping in the water. That's

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Speaker 1: a completely different problem. In particular terminal at the airport.

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Speaker 1: You have old man balls, or there's too much water

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Speaker 1: in the toilet, one of the other. You need to

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Speaker 1: put like a latex glove around your sack before you

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Speaker 1: sit on the toilet. He's down with O M B. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know Scotty all right? Anybody else, No's early in

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Speaker 1: the podcast to be talking about poop, but usually end

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Speaker 1: it that way. You ever, shouldn't a urinal Why Okay,

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Speaker 1: did you had a topic? I'm not really sure I can.

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Speaker 1: I can pitch it after what Scotty just dropped. But

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Speaker 1: I was talking about petty fights that you get into

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Speaker 1: with your significant other, like the one thing that every

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Speaker 1: time it's brought up between the two of you, it

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Speaker 1: becomes a battle. Because with Brandon and I, that battle

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Speaker 1: is the definition of walking distance. I say something is

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Speaker 1: walking distance. He says, I'm a psychopath and you should

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Speaker 1: only drive that far. And his limit is like three

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Speaker 1: blocks because he doesn't live in the New York City

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Speaker 1: area around here. I think all of us, maybe, with

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Speaker 1: the exception of Scary, walk a lot to know. I

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Speaker 1: know Scary like Suber, He's like, f that noise I'm

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Speaker 1: not trying to get sweaty is disgusting. I want to Uber.

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Speaker 1: That's exactly how my boyfriend is. So anytime I say

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Speaker 1: oh yeah, we can just walk there, boom, it's like

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Speaker 1: an immediate argument. And I know that there are couples

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Speaker 1: who get into a fight about one thing all the time,

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Speaker 1: and I just want to know what it was. I

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Speaker 1: need to feel normal. Yeah, yeah, mines driving like so

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Speaker 1: my wife Vali would be like, no, you could drive.

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Speaker 1: So we'll start driving, and then all of a sudden,

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Speaker 1: I get like a cold pilot next to me, going, hey,

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Speaker 1: just watch out for that person right over there. That's

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Speaker 1: a stop sign right there. Hey hey, hey, no no, no no,

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Speaker 1: two clotes right there. If you wanted to drive, just

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Speaker 1: say hey, you know, i'll drive, but you gave me

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Speaker 1: the permission to drive, so I'll drive. I have. It's

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Speaker 1: it's the way we go. Somewhere in the words, I'm

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Speaker 1: I'm somebody who likes to take the shortest route. Lisa

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Speaker 1: will go twenty miles out of her way to take

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Speaker 1: an interstate and I'm like, you realize you just wasted

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Speaker 1: so much time and gas, Like it's quicker to go.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, it's it's it's it's not faster, you know

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Speaker 1: it is faster. So the other day I proved to

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Speaker 1: her that it was faster, and then it was, well,

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Speaker 1: it's just because you caught the lights correctly, and it

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Speaker 1: caused for me and my girlfriend. It's it's it's the

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Speaker 1: timing thing, the punctuality, the getting ready, because when whenever

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Speaker 1: we go out on whatever on a Saturday night. Let's say,

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Speaker 1: and I said, Hey, we have to leave at nine

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Speaker 1: pm sharp to be there at nine thirty. I know,

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Speaker 1: in my head, my calculation tells me I need to

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Speaker 1: jump in the shower at you know, for me, I

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Speaker 1: need twenty minutes to get ready. I can take a

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Speaker 1: shower at forty to be ready at nine o'clock. But

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Speaker 1: for some reason, she doesn't have an internal clock. She

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Speaker 1: always if it's she's very like nine. I'm like, what

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Speaker 1: are you doing? You're up? You gotta lie about the time.

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Speaker 1: Then it takes your ninety minutes to get ready. That

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Speaker 1: that's a whole other arguments like the length of time

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Speaker 1: she spend, that's about right for a girl. If you're

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Speaker 1: your hair, she uses three every time. But scari is

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Speaker 1: right in this case. So if you know it takes

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Speaker 1: you ninety minutes and we have to leave at nine o'clock,

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Speaker 1: don't start getting ready at seven. Don't do that? Like

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Speaker 1: stay agree with that. I agree with that. I'm just saying,

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Speaker 1: for a girl, an hour and a half is not

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Speaker 1: an exorbitant amount of time to spend getting ready. It

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Speaker 1: does take a minute, right, So, but but what Froggy

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Speaker 1: is saying, is really the more important thing? All right,

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Speaker 1: you're getting the shower, just click. But you could make

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Speaker 1: it better for yourself if you just start lying more.

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Speaker 1: The three towels the hair or the body, And what's

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Speaker 1: the third one? I don't know. She's just three towels.

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Speaker 1: She uses three freaking towels every time at least, like

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Speaker 1: all of your arguments are things that are really applicable

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Speaker 1: in the real world. Me and William all the time

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Speaker 1: fight over which of our preferred superpowers are better. If

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Speaker 1: we could snap our fingers and have a superpower. I'm

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Speaker 1: not kidding. It's been three years and I say that

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Speaker 1: being a jumper is the best superpower ever. And he

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Speaker 1: says he wants to be able to freeze time. What

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Speaker 1: I mean being a jumper, Like if I like close

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Speaker 1: my eyes, I could be in Hawaii for lunch real

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Speaker 1: quick and then back. Yeah, but there's a movie about

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Speaker 1: it called Jumper, and that's why to me it is jumping.

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Speaker 1: But he thinks that it's way better to be able

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Speaker 1: to pause time because then you could have whatever amount

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Speaker 1: of time you want to do anything. But to me,

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Speaker 1: that doesn't account for traveling or traffic. No, I don't

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Speaker 1: know if any of you guys actually watched Heroes. Did

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Speaker 1: you guys watch fabulous show? Peter Petrolli had the greatest

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Speaker 1: power of all time, and his was the ability to

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Speaker 1: absorb any information and learn anything. So that means if

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Speaker 1: there is a power, he liked you want to be invisible?

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Speaker 1: He just touched the person. He can be a visible.

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Speaker 1: That sounds like wishing for more wishes. Here's the problem

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Speaker 1: with pausing time? Hero had the problem, and if it was,

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Speaker 1: it was an old TV show, A long time ago

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Speaker 1: girl called the Girl the gold Watch and Everything where

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Speaker 1: you could take the gold Watch and pause time, which

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Speaker 1: he used to go up to girls on the beach

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Speaker 1: and like on string their bikinis and then put time

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Speaker 1: back in their bikinis that fall off. So glad he

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Speaker 1: used it for good? Yeah, used for good. Here's the problem.

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Speaker 1: When you pause time, you keep aging, but the people

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Speaker 1: you pause don't, so over time. Tell William he keeps

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Speaker 1: pausing time, He's going to be an old man while

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Speaker 1: you're jumping around teleporting. Okay, because all this is factual,

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Speaker 1: and that's exactly how can we can you guys help

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Speaker 1: me finish this? Quarrel is my power better than his.

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Speaker 1: Wait a minute, you just talked about Peter Petrelli from Bush. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's a bullshit conversation, but it's still an argument, you

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Speaker 1: know what, It's all bullshit. You either learn how to

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Speaker 1: fly or you're invisible. Other than that, fucking no, Oh

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Speaker 1: you're so old school with your superhero thought brow did

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Speaker 1: you read that on my Space? When did I miss

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Speaker 1: while I was out? Petty argument you get into with

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Speaker 1: your significance and Sam is wrong, just bitter invisible? Mine

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Speaker 1: is um Like I always say, we can replace it,

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Speaker 1: Like if something breaks, I go, oh, sorry, we'll just

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Speaker 1: get a new one, and he goes, that is not

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Speaker 1: the answer. The answer is to take care of your stuff.

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Speaker 1: We don't replace things. I think Froggy has the same

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Speaker 1: argument with Lisa, and I'm just like, yeah, but it's

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Speaker 1: old anyway, that's but we've had it forever. And and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, whatever, We're not made of money. Do

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Speaker 1: you not realize that that just happened? That just happened

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Speaker 1: in my house? We got a new we got new appliances,

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Speaker 1: so we got a new oven, and with the oven

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Speaker 1: came these vent looking things and we didn't know where

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Speaker 1: to put them. They're just they're not on the oven,

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Speaker 1: so they're extra and they're just laying on the side.

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Speaker 1: And I said, let's just put these in the garage.

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Speaker 1: Why we don't need them. If we ever need them,

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Speaker 1: we'll buy them. We'll buy them again. Like, what are

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Speaker 1: you talking about? What's your petty fight, Scottie? Is that

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Speaker 1: what it is? Oh, I don't have any petty fights.

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Speaker 1: Stop it. Everyone has a significant out. No, I was.

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Speaker 1: I was actually thinking the exact same thing that Scary said,

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Speaker 1: because you know, we'll have reservations and I'm tapping my

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Speaker 1: foot downstairs. And I know that that makes her crazy,

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Speaker 1: but I like, I like to be on time for things.

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Speaker 1: I'm very puncture. I'm always the first one at a party.

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Speaker 1: I know that that's not cool, but that's like lame.

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Speaker 1: There is nothing worse than trying to get Lesa's ready

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Speaker 1: and Danielle at the same time. It is just disaster.

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Speaker 1: You were never going on times, You'll you might as

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Speaker 1: well just go ahead of them and let them be

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Speaker 1: an hour later. If you were a jumper, you could

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Speaker 1: just cut out the transit time. I'm just saying yes,

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Speaker 1: But and I told Gandhi this in my defense, when

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Speaker 1: we were in Nashville, I was the first one in

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Speaker 1: the uber every single day. My family, they're still getting ready.

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Speaker 1: I was downstairs. I was first, and I would point

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Speaker 1: out because central time is that why? And they're boys,

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Speaker 1: but they took forever. I'm like, dude, let's go, Froggy.

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Speaker 1: If Lisa had William's power, she could freeze time, take

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Speaker 1: as long as she wants to get dressed. Then unfreeze

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Speaker 1: time and she'd be ready. Yeah, but then if you

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Speaker 1: tell her she'd age, she would never use that superpower.

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Speaker 1: Froggy's not dumb enough to tell that loophole way. So

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Speaker 1: then that leaves Nate and Brody with the petty fights. Right,

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Speaker 1: is Nate on the microphone back to wait, does that

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Speaker 1: mean he was out earlier when we were talking about

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Speaker 1: the poop? Yeah, okay whatever, Alright, I don't care anymore. Okay,

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Speaker 1: mine is when I walk into the house, I take

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Speaker 1: my shoes off, but I don't put them where the

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Speaker 1: shoes are supposed to go, so I just set them there.

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Speaker 1: And you know, I don't like wet shoes going on

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Speaker 1: a like a shelf, so I put them somewhere to dry.

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Speaker 1: But she doesn't like that. Because they're not where they're

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Speaker 1: supposed to go. Well, do you put them away when

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Speaker 1: they are dry or do they live there forever? I'm

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Speaker 1: just gonna put them back on. So that's one. Um.

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Speaker 1: I like to have stuff in piles, right, because that's

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Speaker 1: just my organization systems, my piles of stuff everywhere, like bills.

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Speaker 1: Sounds very Hordish. Yeah, So she's trying to get me

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Speaker 1: organized by putting them in like baskets in a way.

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Speaker 1: But then I forget about it, like they start arguing

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Speaker 1: like where's my medical bills? Like, Oh, they're in the

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Speaker 1: basket in the closet. I won't know that have piles?

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Speaker 1: How do how any bills have gone unpaid in my house?

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Speaker 1: Because Amy puts them in a place that I would

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Speaker 1: never even think to look. Brother, she's saving your money,

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Speaker 1: scott ladies twice as much. And then there's a Scotty

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Speaker 1: has no lights in the house, nothing's working. Why am

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Speaker 1: I not allowed to go back to the hospital. You've

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Speaker 1: been banned for life? Brodie? What's your petty fight? Oh?

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Speaker 1: We fight all the time to whether or not I

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Speaker 1: should be able to talk about our private life on

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Speaker 1: podcast share as a joke. No, we fight we fight

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Speaker 1: over dishwashers, silverware, drawing rack rules. So the way she

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Speaker 1: was raised, she grew up with a dishwasher in a house.

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Speaker 1: I grew up in an apartment where we didn't have

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Speaker 1: a dishwasher. We were the dishwashers. So I like to

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Speaker 1: leave things in the dish rack to dry, because that's

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Speaker 1: what we did. No, you can't do that. It has

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Speaker 1: to go in the machine and then write from the machine.

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Speaker 1: Did the cabinet? Can't put it in the drawing rack.

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Speaker 1: But it's called a drawing rack. No, we don't try

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Speaker 1: things there. And the forks because her mother did this,

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Speaker 1: the forks have to go times up. They might well,

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Speaker 1: I hate you too. Then if you put the you know, Danielle,

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Speaker 1: explain why it's a rule in your house, because Sheldon

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Speaker 1: told me that was the rule in the house. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I was putting everything down, the knives, everything, and and

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Speaker 1: for years or for months whatever, what are you doing?

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Speaker 1: So now everything goes up? And you know why I

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Speaker 1: did it because I was like, you know, what if

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Speaker 1: it means that much to him that I'm going to

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Speaker 1: do it, Yes, knives too, I think I'm gonna slit

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Speaker 1: my wrist. Take the silverware out without touching the times,

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Speaker 1: so your your man handling the tips of the forks

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Speaker 1: to get them out to dumbest thing. Also, you can't

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Speaker 1: you all the plates have to face the middle right

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Speaker 1: from the sides, but the face the middle from the

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Speaker 1: front and the back, because apparently the machine, even though

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Speaker 1: it spins, won't clean the plates facing the front or

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Speaker 1: facing the back doesn't make any sense. One more plate,

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Speaker 1: this room for one more plate. I'll slip the plate

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Speaker 1: in right in the front, so I'll close it and

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Speaker 1: I'll run the machine. But then I have to set

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Speaker 1: a thing in my phone that I gotta be the

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Speaker 1: one to empty it, because otherwise, if that plates there,

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Speaker 1: what are you putting the plate in front? Four? Now,

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Speaker 1: it's not gonna get clean, even though I go, look

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Speaker 1: it's clean that you never show you right, never show

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Speaker 1: you damn damn. I'll leave the dishes in the sink

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Speaker 1: from that one. I don't care good for you. I

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Speaker 1: asked this question on Instagram, and the majority of the

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Speaker 1: answers I got back were we always fight about where

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Speaker 1: we're going to eat because they argue, apparently, And then

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Speaker 1: the dishwasher thing. Some people leave the dishes in the

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Speaker 1: sink and other people get I rate that you didn't

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Speaker 1: put the dishes in the dishwasher when the sink is

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Speaker 1: right next to it. So those are okay, dump which

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Speaker 1: is great. Lord. You only fight when we you know

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Speaker 1: when it's time to go out on. So you all

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Speaker 1: you put like papers and stuff in your washer and dryer, right,

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Speaker 1: and you send all your stuff out to get dry cleaned. Yes,

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Speaker 1: So these three towels that Robin uses when she se

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Speaker 1: at your house, you send them out to get dry cleaned. Absolutely,

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's not dry clean. That's the called

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Speaker 1: the washing fold for you. Oh yeah. He sends everything out, say,

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Speaker 1: and it comes back two days later in a nice

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Speaker 1: neat pile. That's how I fold, you know, the the

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Speaker 1: fitted sheets. Because you have a washer and dryer, don't you. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: storage right now, I've never used it one time. I

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Speaker 1: have here and there. You can do laundry, right, I can. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I even have this, like I have a detergent. I got. Ever,

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Speaker 1: there are people that carry heavy laundry bags up and

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Speaker 1: down five and six flights of stairs to the laundrymat

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Speaker 1: six blocks away in the rain. And this this boogie

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Speaker 1: bastard doesn't do a wash with a wash because I can.

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Speaker 1: I mean, he's not wrong and I'm not wrong for it.

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Speaker 1: Not everything comes nice stacked in a nice little square,

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Speaker 1: and it goes right back on my shelf. Include those

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Speaker 1: fitted sheets. I hope, I hope you at least charge

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Speaker 1: your girlfriend for the three towels everythide you know they're heavy.

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Speaker 1: On this note, blessed be the people that are like

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Speaker 1: Gandhi and Andrew and have a washer and dryer and

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Speaker 1: offer it to me so that I can. You said,

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Speaker 1: when I need to, Scary would have to move all

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Speaker 1: his bills of public whoever wants to come use it,

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Speaker 1: and we thank you for your girlfriends there. Do you

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Speaker 1: use one of those three towels to clean up when

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Speaker 1: you guys are done, so you're not wanting another towel

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Speaker 1: on Sunday mornings after CBS Sunday Morning. Why you do

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Speaker 1: that to me? The fact that you know, oh God,

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Speaker 1: he sends those out to those poor people. Can we

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Speaker 1: end podcast now? Can you imagine ended five minutes ago

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Speaker 1: coming out how much underwear with like skid marks on

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Speaker 1: it they see at these places. It's like the movie

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Speaker 1: The Sweetest Thing Now, very uncomfortable. So oh no, we

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Speaker 1: are over. We are good topic, good topic. Hat at

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Speaker 1: Scary Jones, everybody, fifteen minute morning show