1 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:20,319 Speaker 1: Hey, Hurdler's Emily A baddie here coming to you with 2 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:24,320 Speaker 1: another installment of five Minute Friday. Can I tell you 3 00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:29,720 Speaker 1: right off the bat here, Yesterday was a dynamite day 4 00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:33,400 Speaker 1: in New York City, like ten out of ten total 5 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:37,640 Speaker 1: gem I you know, the night before, I went to 6 00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:39,320 Speaker 1: bed thinking to myself that I was going to go 7 00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:42,839 Speaker 1: to the gym and take a spin class on like 8 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:45,319 Speaker 1: via my iPad on one of the spin bikes. And 9 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:48,920 Speaker 1: I woke up and the sun was already coming up, 10 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:53,640 Speaker 1: and it was like the Goldilocks, fifty two degree temperature outside, 11 00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:56,200 Speaker 1: and I was like, you know what, I'm gonna take 12 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:57,640 Speaker 1: my bike out for a little ride. 13 00:00:57,720 --> 00:00:59,920 Speaker 2: And so eighty minutes. 14 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:04,040 Speaker 1: Of just me and the sun and the birds and 15 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:06,399 Speaker 1: oh my goodness, if you live in New York right now, 16 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:12,320 Speaker 1: the trees are blooming, just absolute perfection. Anyway, yesterday it 17 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:15,320 Speaker 1: was also really special because it was the first time 18 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:21,520 Speaker 1: since last March that I recorded in person with someone 19 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:24,040 Speaker 1: coming down the pipe for the pod. I'm going to 20 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:28,640 Speaker 1: keep them their identity under wraps for a little bit longer, 21 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:33,200 Speaker 1: but this person will be the first guest that I 22 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:39,920 Speaker 1: have had come on the show for a longer episode twice, 23 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:43,319 Speaker 1: so I'm really excited about that. The conversation was really 24 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:46,760 Speaker 1: impactful and really special. And so for this episode of 25 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:48,559 Speaker 1: Five Minute Friday, which if you're new to the show, 26 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:52,080 Speaker 1: I typically share a story, offer up a thought prompt 27 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:54,320 Speaker 1: to take you into the weekend or whenever you're listening 28 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:57,920 Speaker 1: to this to reflect on, and then give you some 29 00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:00,559 Speaker 1: of my highlights of the week, my content and picks, 30 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:02,800 Speaker 1: so to speak. So this conversation that I was having 31 00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:06,240 Speaker 1: yesterday during the recording, we were chatting about the last 32 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:11,880 Speaker 1: year and getting comfortable being alone, and the woman that 33 00:02:11,919 --> 00:02:15,080 Speaker 1: I was chatting with, who is also a good friend 34 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:18,880 Speaker 1: of mine, she said something that got me a little 35 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:23,000 Speaker 1: bit emotional. She said, you know, out of almost anyone 36 00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:29,120 Speaker 1: I know, you are the best at being alone. And 37 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:33,040 Speaker 1: I was sitting there and she said that, and it 38 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,680 Speaker 1: registered with me, and I felt like the tears kind 39 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:38,000 Speaker 1: of behind my eyeballs, and I tried to like kind 40 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:43,160 Speaker 1: of get it together right and I did. But we 41 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:46,359 Speaker 1: kind of went back and forth on that a little 42 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 1: bit more, and once she was done with her thought, 43 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:54,000 Speaker 1: I thanked her for the compliment and then I kind 44 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,720 Speaker 1: of told her my truth, which is that, well, it's 45 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,320 Speaker 1: a few things. First of all, getting good and I'm 46 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:01,320 Speaker 1: using air quotes here even though you can't see them, 47 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:04,360 Speaker 1: getting good at spending time alone wasn't something that happened 48 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:07,480 Speaker 1: for me overnight, right. It was a process that took 49 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:12,680 Speaker 1: a long time. In fact, years ago, I used to 50 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:15,360 Speaker 1: be frightened of having to do things by myself. I 51 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:18,800 Speaker 1: felt like whenever I was doing something alone that I 52 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:21,200 Speaker 1: was messing up, as though I couldn't find someone to 53 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:22,240 Speaker 1: do it with me. 54 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:23,440 Speaker 2: And the fact that. 55 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:26,240 Speaker 1: I'm quote unquote good at it as the whole I 56 00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:30,040 Speaker 1: might cry right now situation thing indicates it triggers a 57 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:33,639 Speaker 1: lot of emotions, right because on one hand, I am 58 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:34,720 Speaker 1: grateful that I know. 59 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:36,960 Speaker 2: How to enjoy spending time by myself. 60 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:41,160 Speaker 1: I think it's important that whether you are single like me, 61 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:45,200 Speaker 1: or in a relationship or a marriage or a partnership 62 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:47,960 Speaker 1: or what have you, that it is important that you 63 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:53,120 Speaker 1: feel comfortable sitting with yourself and stillness alone, doing things alone. 64 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:56,080 Speaker 1: I mean shopping alone, eating alone, hanging out in the 65 00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:59,600 Speaker 1: park alone. Like you get the idea, I am of 66 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 1: the mind said that it's important that we take the 67 00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:05,640 Speaker 1: time to listen to what's really happening within us. And 68 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:09,320 Speaker 1: trust that in the discomfort, because we all know that 69 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:12,400 Speaker 1: this can be an uncomfortable thing to get used to. 70 00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:16,200 Speaker 1: In this scenario, you know, we learn so much about ourselves, 71 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:19,159 Speaker 1: and I think that is of the utmost importance. 72 00:04:20,279 --> 00:04:20,440 Speaker 3: Now. 73 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:24,520 Speaker 1: On the other hand, despite me like being super thankful 74 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:28,440 Speaker 1: that I'm I'm cool hanging out by myself, it makes 75 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:32,200 Speaker 1: me it's a little sad for me because it's not 76 00:04:32,279 --> 00:04:36,000 Speaker 1: like it's always by choice. Like I, as I mentioned, 77 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:40,080 Speaker 1: single almost thirty three years old, I've had a handful 78 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:43,360 Speaker 1: of friends leave New York over the past fourteen months, 79 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:46,719 Speaker 1: and I am, without a doubt at a point where 80 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:50,919 Speaker 1: I want to find the right person to build a 81 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:53,520 Speaker 1: life with. I say this with the caveat that I 82 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:55,840 Speaker 1: am one hundred percent not rushing into the wrong thing. 83 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:59,160 Speaker 1: And I feel really confident in spending this time by 84 00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:03,039 Speaker 1: myself because I do not want the wrong thing. But 85 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:06,120 Speaker 1: it's still like the idea of like, you are so 86 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,560 Speaker 1: good at spending time alone, Like I don't know if 87 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,599 Speaker 1: necessarily that was something that I would hope to be 88 00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:13,440 Speaker 1: bragging about, so to speak, in my in my thirties. 89 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:19,080 Speaker 1: So to wrap up this story, I offered my friend 90 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:21,640 Speaker 1: a piece of advice that I want to share with you, 91 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:26,839 Speaker 1: which is to get good air quotes at spending time alone. 92 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:30,479 Speaker 1: The best thing that I did was I started to 93 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:35,000 Speaker 1: date myself. I started to make plans with myself. Now, 94 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:37,440 Speaker 1: these plans, they don't have to be expensive, right, Like 95 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:39,279 Speaker 1: you don't need to go spend one hundred dollars on 96 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:43,159 Speaker 1: a dinner or travel to some faraway place. It's just 97 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:46,880 Speaker 1: got to be like dedicated time. It's I'm going to 98 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:49,880 Speaker 1: plan to go on a run tomorrow afternoon. I'm going 99 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:52,240 Speaker 1: to read a book in the park on a sunny day. 100 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:55,960 Speaker 1: I'm gonna ride my bike around town and then listen 101 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:58,120 Speaker 1: to a podcast. Like whatever it is that you plan 102 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:02,000 Speaker 1: to do with yourself, go get them. Enjoy that time. 103 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:06,080 Speaker 1: You can identify the things in your life that bring 104 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:10,559 Speaker 1: you joy that you can do solo, and sometimes that's 105 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:15,839 Speaker 1: the unlock, right understanding and recognizing that things can bring 106 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:19,760 Speaker 1: you joy and you don't necessarily always need to be 107 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:23,840 Speaker 1: doing those things with someone else or sharing it on 108 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:27,800 Speaker 1: social media or bringing other people into the fold. You 109 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:33,200 Speaker 1: can have that joy just you. My prompt for you 110 00:06:33,279 --> 00:06:37,400 Speaker 1: this week, how can you take some time alone for 111 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:41,320 Speaker 1: yourself this week and enjoy it again. How can you 112 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:45,000 Speaker 1: take some time alone for yourself this week and enjoy it? 113 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:48,600 Speaker 1: Highlights of the week. Links to all of this goodness 114 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:51,839 Speaker 1: are in the show notes. Read five women of Color 115 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:56,640 Speaker 1: Changing the face of therapy from today. May upcoming is 116 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:59,880 Speaker 1: Mental Health Month. Trust me more content on that FO 117 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:03,400 Speaker 1: front coming soon. I loved this roundup from today, which 118 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:06,880 Speaker 1: shines a great, great spotlight on some of the ladies, 119 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:11,560 Speaker 1: paving the way for important conversations when it comes to 120 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:16,120 Speaker 1: us talking about our mental health. Watch We Work or 121 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:20,120 Speaker 1: the Making and Breaking of a forty seven billion dollar Unicorn. 122 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:21,200 Speaker 2: Wow. 123 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:24,480 Speaker 1: I don't know if I found this like obscenely fascinating 124 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:27,480 Speaker 1: because I've been a long time we Work member, but 125 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:32,160 Speaker 1: this documentary talking about like the rise and fall of 126 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:36,440 Speaker 1: this huge brand blew my mind. And I found it 127 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:39,560 Speaker 1: especially interesting because they talk a lot about the culture 128 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:41,680 Speaker 1: that the company was like trying to create and that 129 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:44,160 Speaker 1: like you wanted to be a we Work member because 130 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:46,480 Speaker 1: if you were a we Work member, like you are 131 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:51,160 Speaker 1: an entrepreneur. And I totally drank that kool aid. 132 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:55,480 Speaker 2: It is fascinating. You have to check it out. 133 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:59,120 Speaker 1: Read how to Reboot your Brain after a year of 134 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:00,440 Speaker 1: stress on what and good. 135 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:03,600 Speaker 2: I loved, loved, loved this article from Aaron Bunch. 136 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:07,360 Speaker 1: She interviewed a neurologist and a scientist about their top 137 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:10,680 Speaker 1: recommendations for how to make our brains perform better than 138 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:13,560 Speaker 1: they did before the pandemic. I don't have to tell 139 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:16,280 Speaker 1: you twice. This year has been a lot and the 140 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:20,240 Speaker 1: tips are both super easy to execute but also can 141 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:27,400 Speaker 1: be super impactful. Definitely, definitely actionable. Listen Trained Joelle Dfontaine 142 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:31,000 Speaker 1: getting in Step with Yourself. I love the Trained podcast. 143 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:34,760 Speaker 1: My friend Ryan Flaherty, he's the senior director of Performance 144 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:38,520 Speaker 1: at Nike. He typically hosts it. He's also been on 145 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:40,640 Speaker 1: the show. I highly encourage you to check out his 146 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:43,480 Speaker 1: episode alling to it in the show notes. But on 147 00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:48,079 Speaker 1: this specific episode, my old friend Jacqueline Buyer is stepping 148 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:51,760 Speaker 1: in for Ryan as he is on paternity leave to 149 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:56,320 Speaker 1: host this episode, and I loved their conversation. I love 150 00:08:56,520 --> 00:09:00,160 Speaker 1: hearing Jack behind the mic, and in it she's talking 151 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:03,240 Speaker 1: with a Nike trainer and choreographer, Joeldfontaine. 152 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:05,199 Speaker 2: They tackle a lot of great topics in here. 153 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:07,920 Speaker 1: Joel talks about how he fell in love with dancing 154 00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:11,440 Speaker 1: that's his shick while doing a gig at a gay nightclub, 155 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:15,160 Speaker 1: which ultimately led to him quitting his desk job and 156 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,920 Speaker 1: doing it full time. I also really enjoyed his perspective 157 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:21,960 Speaker 1: on what we can do to diversify fitness, So I'm 158 00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:25,640 Speaker 1: hype this episode up. Definitely give it a listen now 159 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:29,000 Speaker 1: for this week's a listener question from Alyssa. 160 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:32,760 Speaker 3: Hi, Emily, this is Alyssa from Colorado. Thanks so much 161 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:36,040 Speaker 3: for the awesome podcast and all of the fantastic contents 162 00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:38,120 Speaker 3: that you put out. I really appreciate it and I 163 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:41,240 Speaker 3: look forward to it every single week. My question is 164 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:46,440 Speaker 3: about starting to freelance and pitching two publications. How do 165 00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:48,200 Speaker 3: you go about doing that? If you have a pitch 166 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:50,679 Speaker 3: in mind or an interview subject in mind, do you 167 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:54,800 Speaker 3: go to the magazine or the publication first and ask 168 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:57,320 Speaker 3: them or pitch it to them first, or do you 169 00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:59,600 Speaker 3: do the interview first and write the article and pitch 170 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:02,920 Speaker 3: the whole article. What is the process of getting started 171 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:06,000 Speaker 3: freelancing with a publication that you've donever worked with before. 172 00:10:06,679 --> 00:10:08,920 Speaker 3: Thank you so much in advance for answering this question, 173 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:10,120 Speaker 3: and have a great day. 174 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:11,800 Speaker 2: Great question. 175 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:13,720 Speaker 1: I do feel like this is a great opportunity to 176 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:16,559 Speaker 1: plug the Hurdle session that I have on the Hurdle website. 177 00:10:16,559 --> 00:10:19,439 Speaker 1: Intro to freelance writing all linked to it in the 178 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:24,120 Speaker 1: show notes. But basically, when it comes to freelance pitching, 179 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:27,600 Speaker 1: the art of the pitch is a special art. I 180 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:31,720 Speaker 1: would recommend rather than writing an entire article and doing 181 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:36,600 Speaker 1: a ton of research before communicating with a publication, you 182 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:39,840 Speaker 1: pitch them your idea, whether or not you've worked with 183 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:43,840 Speaker 1: them before. Right, So this means that maybe you find 184 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:47,200 Speaker 1: an editor's information online. It's not that hard to find 185 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:49,720 Speaker 1: someone's email address these days, and I would highly recommend 186 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:52,680 Speaker 1: that you land this in their email inbox instead of 187 00:10:52,679 --> 00:10:55,400 Speaker 1: reaching out to them over on social media. Send an 188 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:58,960 Speaker 1: editor an email, and in that pitch email, introduce yourself 189 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:02,880 Speaker 1: and then include one to two pitches. These pitches should 190 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:06,320 Speaker 1: include a headline option or two as well as the 191 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:09,400 Speaker 1: gist of what you want to write about in your article. Now, 192 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:12,960 Speaker 1: a bad pitch would be I want to write an 193 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:17,720 Speaker 1: article about phonam rollers. That's the whole pitch. That's a 194 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:21,439 Speaker 1: bad pitch. A good pitch would be so and so 195 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:25,600 Speaker 1: athlete the other day mentioned that they lean into phone 196 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:29,160 Speaker 1: rollers to help them with muscle soreness. To jump on 197 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:32,560 Speaker 1: what they said. I want to write an article about 198 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:35,800 Speaker 1: what happens when you use phone rollers and how they 199 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:39,960 Speaker 1: can indeed help with this. And for this item, I 200 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:43,440 Speaker 1: want to talk to X and Y, So be very 201 00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:46,760 Speaker 1: specific about your angle, who you want to talk to, 202 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:50,680 Speaker 1: what service your article will provide, and if it's not 203 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:53,880 Speaker 1: service driven, then what's the purpose of this article? What 204 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:58,280 Speaker 1: makes this pitch different? And also of note, why is 205 00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:02,280 Speaker 1: this pitch relevant to the outlet that you are interested 206 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:06,840 Speaker 1: in writing for. So while I may write content regularly 207 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:11,719 Speaker 1: everywhere from Women's Health magazine to livestrong dot com to 208 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:14,600 Speaker 1: Well Andgood dot com and so on and so forth, 209 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:18,400 Speaker 1: those brands may run articles on similar subjects, but each 210 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:21,720 Speaker 1: of them they have a different tone. They cover topics 211 00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:24,600 Speaker 1: in different ways, and that is what is important to 212 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:29,080 Speaker 1: keep in mind when you are pitching new ideas. Of course, 213 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:31,200 Speaker 1: I have a ton more thoughts on this. I am 214 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:35,800 Speaker 1: a career journalist. I've been freelancing for over four years now, 215 00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:39,240 Speaker 1: so if you want more insight again, I definitely recommend 216 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:41,840 Speaker 1: that you check out that Hurdle session or feel free 217 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:45,320 Speaker 1: to shoot me an email. That is it for this week. 218 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:47,480 Speaker 1: If you have yet to do so and you want 219 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:51,080 Speaker 1: in on book club. We are coming together on zoom 220 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:54,800 Speaker 1: to chat about the art of gathering on April twenty first, 221 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:57,240 Speaker 1: and I would love to see you there. The link 222 00:12:57,320 --> 00:13:00,600 Speaker 1: to register, just like everything else, is in the show notes. 223 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:02,839 Speaker 1: Make sure you're following along with Hurdle over at Hurdle 224 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:06,000 Speaker 1: Podcasts on Instagram. I am over at Emily a Body, 225 00:13:06,559 --> 00:13:08,160 Speaker 1: Another hurdle conquered. 226 00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:09,560 Speaker 2: Catch you guys next time.