Speaker 1: I am all In.
Speaker 2: I Am all in with Scott Patterson, an iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 1: Hey everybody, Scott Patterson, I'm all in podcast, one on
Speaker 1: one Interview, one eleven productions. iHeartRadio, iHeart Media, iHeart Podcasts.
Speaker 1: I'm joined by Susanne French. Hello Suzanne, and we are
Speaker 1: gonna talk to Elizabeth Abbott. Elizabeth, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for joining us. Let me get into a little bit
Speaker 1: of who you are and what you're about. You portrayed
Speaker 1: Rosemary four episodes and Rosemary is one of the ladies
Speaker 1: who hangs out with Finn Life of Death Brigade. You
Speaker 1: were an actress for best known for this role and
Speaker 1: also for making a few TV appearances Young and Restless
Speaker 1: and I Carly no longer acting. But you're a licensed
Speaker 1: marriage and Family therapist, a master level psychotherapist who work
Speaker 1: with adults and teens who are dealing with mental health issues, relationships,
Speaker 1: or life transitions. How fascinating. Welcome to the podcast. So
Speaker 1: great to have you, Elizabeth. First off, tell us how
Speaker 1: you first got the role on Gilmore.
Speaker 3: Well, first of all, thank you for having me. This
Speaker 3: is really fun. So I had been in LA for
Speaker 3: just a couple of years, and had done a bunch
Speaker 3: of commercials and had an agent and a manager, and
Speaker 3: we were just, you know, grinding all the auditions as
Speaker 3: one does. And when the audition for Gilmore Girls just
Speaker 3: came up, and I wanted it so badly, and I
Speaker 3: had to act so cool, like I didn't want it
Speaker 3: that badly, but I really wanted it. Was it ended
Speaker 3: up being my first TV job.
Speaker 1: You were smart. You were smart, Sorry, but you were
Speaker 1: smart to act that like you didn't want it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because that shows that you understand the psychology in that
Speaker 1: that works against you if you want it too badly.
Speaker 3: Exactly. I played it. I played it so cool.
Speaker 4: So you were already familiar with the show when you auditioned.
Speaker 3: I was. I was a fan of the show. It
Speaker 3: had debuted when I was in college, and my my
Speaker 3: mom is a single mom, divorced mom. I'm an only daughter,
Speaker 3: and so it's sort of it was sort of our show.
Speaker 3: She would this like dates me, but she would tape
Speaker 3: the episodes on VHS tapes and either mail them to
Speaker 3: me at college or or she just saved them up
Speaker 3: for when we had watched together when I would be
Speaker 3: at home.
Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, that's fantastic. Did you know that it
Speaker 1: would be a recurring role when you when you booked
Speaker 1: that first one.
Speaker 3: Nope, Uh, it was supposed to be just a co star,
Speaker 3: and then they just the next one was a guest star,
Speaker 3: and they just kept bringing us back. And I felt like,
Speaker 3: you know, I won the latto every time because it
Speaker 3: was unexpected.
Speaker 1: But yeah, so what was it like working with Alexis Bdell?
Speaker 3: Alexis was lovely. I was so nervous that the first uh,
Speaker 3: I mean the first scene that we filmed was in
Speaker 3: the Chinese restaurant. I don't know if you remember, but uh,
Speaker 3: and it was Alexis and Matt Zukri and Alan and
Speaker 3: Tank and his name was Wayne I think, who played Marty,
Speaker 3: and of course Ricky Lyndholm. Ricky and I were always together,
Speaker 3: and uh, they had all filmed, I mean so much together,
Speaker 3: and I was, you know, I was really nervous that
Speaker 3: we wouldn't get in and click right away. But Alexis
Speaker 3: and Matt and all the guys were so welcoming right
Speaker 3: off the bat and made us feel right at home,
Speaker 3: and you know, it started clicking.
Speaker 5: Mm hm.
Speaker 1: Yes, Finn was always trying to get with your character
Speaker 1: wasn't he he was.
Speaker 3: There was a there was a point where I think
Speaker 3: I was like, not that too, not too opposed to
Speaker 3: it as well.
Speaker 1: So when was the last time you watched an actual episode?
Speaker 3: Well, I revisited an episode last night in preparation for
Speaker 3: this because I hadn't I hadn't seen it in quite
Speaker 3: a while, and I was like, what what was that?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 3: It's really fun, it's really fun to watch.
Speaker 1: And remember, do you get recognized for role?
Speaker 3: I don't get recognized, you know, randomly on the street,
Speaker 3: but in the work that I do now as a therapist.
Speaker 3: So many people have this show as their comfort show
Speaker 3: that they watch over and over again. And a lot
Speaker 3: of what we do is we talk about resources, you know,
Speaker 3: the things in your life that make you feel a
Speaker 3: little bit safer, a little bit calmer. And so people
Speaker 3: are always coming. So I was rewatching Gilmore Girls, and
Speaker 3: is there something you want to tell me?
Speaker 1: Right right, right right?
Speaker 3: You know, I had one client several years ago who
Speaker 3: was mad that they hadn't known beforehand. So now if
Speaker 3: I have a new client who mentions that they like
Speaker 3: the show, I say, okay, don't be weirded out. But
Speaker 3: you know, season's five and six are going to see
Speaker 3: me pomp up. We can talk about it.
Speaker 1: Or not whatever, but yeah, that's fascinating. We're going to
Speaker 1: talk a little bit more about what you do now
Speaker 1: a little bit later on the interview. But that's that's
Speaker 1: I have a lot of stories about that as well. Yeah,
Speaker 1: when I meet people. Yeah, so did you lie? Did
Speaker 1: you see the episodes in Netflix? The episodes? Do you
Speaker 1: like how they brought the Life and Death Brigade back?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 3: The new ones? I have to admit I didn't watch them.
Speaker 3: I haven't watched them yet because I don't know if
Speaker 3: I loved my experience in seasons five and six so
Speaker 3: much that I just kind of I kind of wanted
Speaker 3: to let it be what it was. Sure, maybe I'll
Speaker 3: go back now.
Speaker 1: And you did a few more TV gigs with Young
Speaker 1: and the rest as I Carly, When did you decide
Speaker 1: to leave acting?
Speaker 3: I had, you know, as an actor, there's a lot
Speaker 3: of downtime. It's incredible when you're working or when you're auditioning.
Speaker 3: But I had a lot of time where I needed
Speaker 3: I felt like I needed something a little bit more. So.
Speaker 3: I had gone back to grad school, was doing that
Speaker 3: on nights and weekends just for the sort of education
Speaker 3: of it. And I had also had a lot of therapy.
Speaker 3: You need a lot of therapy when you're an actress
Speaker 3: in your twenties in Los Angeles. And I just loved
Speaker 3: going to her office every week so much that I
Speaker 3: was like, I maybe I can do this. So I
Speaker 3: tried to stuggle both for a while. I was doing
Speaker 3: both for a while, and then there came a point
Speaker 3: where I just had to, you know, fully commit to
Speaker 3: building a private practice, and you know, I found it
Speaker 3: really really fulfilling.
Speaker 1: Was there was there a moment for you that you
Speaker 1: recall that were you made that decision to leave acting.
Speaker 1: Was it a specific incident, was it just a moment
Speaker 1: that you remember.
Speaker 3: I don't know if I ever made the decision to
Speaker 3: leave acting, Like, honestly, if something came along now, I
Speaker 3: would love to to, you know, I'd love to act again.
Speaker 3: So I feel like it was less leaving acting and
Speaker 3: more finding psychotherapy, finding this other passion right and.
Speaker 1: And and why you say you were in therapy. You
Speaker 1: sought out therapy in your twenties being an actress in
Speaker 1: LA Why did you seek therapy If I'm not getting
Speaker 1: too personal if you want to talk about it, know that.
Speaker 3: I mean I'm biased. I think that everyone should have
Speaker 3: stuff to work out in therapy.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Actually I actually feel the same way. I think everybody
Speaker 1: can benefit from therapy absolutely.
Speaker 3: You know, it was it was a time of a
Speaker 3: lot of changes, a lot of transitions, also coping with
Speaker 3: all the stuff that you know, actors and artists go through,
Speaker 3: you know, the rejection and the procrastination, and the sort
Speaker 3: of financial ups and downs and the effect on your
Speaker 3: relationships and all those things. And it was so.
Speaker 1: It's a lot.
Speaker 3: And I just it felt so well. And you know,
Speaker 3: there's always like family of origin stuff as well. You know,
Speaker 3: we've all got our stuff. So it was just such
Speaker 3: an enormously healing and supportive space for me. For several
Speaker 3: years there, I kind of wanted to kind of wanted
Speaker 3: to create my own space to be able to do
Speaker 3: that for other people.
Speaker 1: All Right, So you get your bachelor's in science and
Speaker 1: your master's in psychology. When did your interest in mental
Speaker 1: health begin? Was it when you were getting into therapy?
Speaker 1: Before that?
Speaker 3: I think, well, I had always been a theater kid,
Speaker 3: and you know, you know, I was a journalism major
Speaker 3: in college, but I was also in this three year
Speaker 3: acting class and did theater in college and things like that,
Speaker 3: and acting and psychology are not at all, not at
Speaker 3: all different. I mean, the way that you know I
Speaker 3: was taught and I learned to approach a character as
Speaker 3: an actor is very much what we do. You know,
Speaker 3: you're you're thinking about why this character is the way
Speaker 3: that they are, What has happened in their life that
Speaker 3: makes them the way that they are, and that way
Speaker 3: of thinking. Also just the listening and being with someone
Speaker 3: and connecting and all of those things. It was such
Speaker 3: a natural, kind of organic transition that I found myself always,
Speaker 3: you know, already thinking that way through the acting training.
Speaker 1: Yes, in the training that you draw up a psychological
Speaker 1: probi file for your character. You fill it out in
Speaker 1: detail if you can. Here's a question for you, and
Speaker 1: it's a personal question because I've experienced this. I'm sure
Speaker 1: you've experienced every actor experiences this. How do you take
Speaker 1: on the persona or the psychology of another character the
Speaker 1: day ends, you go home? What do you do to
Speaker 1: flush your brain out and to flush your soul? What
Speaker 1: is what are the best techniques that you have found
Speaker 1: to help people do that? Is it meditation, Is it
Speaker 1: taking a hot bath? What is it?
Speaker 3: For me? It was always had to get back into
Speaker 3: my body, into my physicality, and you know the hot shower,
Speaker 3: sure movement of some kind. And then also you know,
Speaker 3: connecting with the people who I love in my life,
Speaker 3: you know, having a partner or a friend to come
Speaker 3: home to and debrief at the end of the day.
Speaker 1: So what happens to the actor that is isolated away
Speaker 1: from their family, playing a hugely demanding role emotionally speaking,
Speaker 1: and then comes home to an empty condo?
Speaker 3: I mean, that's what what what weren't.
Speaker 1: What kind of uh, what kind of issues would that
Speaker 1: actor or actress be dealing with if they were doing
Speaker 1: that over the film home?
Speaker 5: Shoot?
Speaker 1: Oh god, what would they be facing? What dangers could
Speaker 1: they be facing? I mean, can it get dangerous? Can
Speaker 1: it get you know, really impairing.
Speaker 3: I'm sure it could get really dangerous. Loneliness is I
Speaker 3: feel like the artist is lonely. A lot of the time,
Speaker 3: it seemed. Loneliness seems to be whether it's somebody who's
Speaker 3: out of town working on something, or even you know,
Speaker 3: in a cast of other people. That's one of the
Speaker 3: things that keeps coming up over and over again when
Speaker 3: I'm working with actors and artists. So for me, it's
Speaker 3: about building a community of supportive, present individuals, whether that's
Speaker 3: through face time, calls back home, or whether that's debriefing
Speaker 3: with your you know, with your cast made, with your
Speaker 3: scene partner, taking the time to I mean it's if
Speaker 3: you're working on something out of town, it's an exhausting,
Speaker 3: you know, twelve sixteen hour day, maybe it's been a
Speaker 3: night shoot. You're exhausted. But taking the time to, you know,
Speaker 3: debrief with someone, with the people you've been working with
Speaker 3: over dinner or breakfast or whatever it is afterwards, that
Speaker 3: connection and support I think can be really essential, right.
Speaker 1: Is So what's your perspective on the psychological aspects of
Speaker 1: the the laurel I and Rory relationship?
Speaker 3: Oh, let's un back it. Yeah, mother daughter relationships are complex,
Speaker 3: I think, kind of almost universally complex. There can be
Speaker 3: the most love and support and understanding, and also mothers
Speaker 3: and daughter push each other's buttons like nobody else.
Speaker 1: Would you think that Lorelei and Rory could have benefited
Speaker 1: from some therapy individual or group therapy together? And if so,
Speaker 1: what do you think their issues are?
Speaker 3: I think Lorelei and Rory would have loved therapy, you
Speaker 3: know they they would with all the fast talking, they
Speaker 3: would make that fifty minutes last. They really would get
Speaker 3: a lot.
Speaker 5: Out of it.
Speaker 1: There's the spinoff right there. Lorelei and Rory go to therapy.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, Amy call me. Yeah, No, I mean
Speaker 3: we're talking intergenerational trauma when we bring Emily into it,
Speaker 3: all of these expectations and bucking the expectation, and each
Speaker 3: generation wanting to be their own person, but also really
Speaker 3: wanting and needing the approval of their mother. Again, all
Speaker 3: the generations.
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you think do you think laurel I smothered Rory?
Speaker 3: Do I think she? I don't think she smothered Rory.
Speaker 3: It seemed to be a pretty mutual relationship for most
Speaker 3: of it. They really went through it when you know,
Speaker 3: Rory was going through it on her own during the
Speaker 3: during the Yale seasons. But they were able always to repair.
Speaker 3: And again that's the most important part, right. It's not
Speaker 3: about whether we're talking about a mother daughter relationship or
Speaker 3: we're talking about, you know, a romantic partnership. It's not
Speaker 3: about do you have conflict do you fight? Right, It's
Speaker 3: about how do you repair Do you turn away from
Speaker 3: each other or do you turn toward each other?
Speaker 1: Right? Right, right? Right? What do you think about the
Speaker 1: Rory Logan relationship and Rory losing somewhat of her personality
Speaker 1: within that relationship and being in you know, very murky
Speaker 1: deep waters with that relationship. To talk about that a
Speaker 1: little bit, Why is she in that relationship?
Speaker 3: Why is she in that relationship? I mean, look, as
Speaker 3: a fan, I was always team Jess. I'm going to
Speaker 3: be honest, but Matzi Freeze so lovely. I can absolutely
Speaker 3: see how everyone has fallen for a Logan, including Rory.
Speaker 3: But I I kind of think that if whether or
Speaker 3: not there was a Logan, I think Rory was kind
Speaker 3: of destined to lose her you know what, during college anyway.
Speaker 3: It was such a massive change for her, being in
Speaker 3: an environment with with a lot of folks, a very
Speaker 3: different background, being away from her mother, and this you know,
Speaker 3: sort of magical talent that she had had grown up
Speaker 3: in trying to find her place there no longer being
Speaker 3: the best at everything. Boy, that's a really really common thing, right.
Speaker 1: For the right everybody's gifted here.
Speaker 3: I think, yeah, I think I think she was gonna
Speaker 3: need to act out a little bit in order to
Speaker 3: find who the heck she was.
Speaker 4: Going back to your own experience, do you have any
Speaker 4: like good stories or your favorite memories from being on set,
Speaker 4: Like any moments that really stood out to you from
Speaker 4: the episodes that you were in.
Speaker 3: I mean, every time hanging out with the guys, the
Speaker 3: Life and Death Brigade guys, and Ricky of course, who
Speaker 3: played Juliette. We just had so much fun. It was
Speaker 3: I mean, of course it was my first TV job.
Speaker 3: Prussia was on You've got to talk very fast, it
Speaker 3: had to be dead letter perfect, all of those things.
Speaker 3: But hanging out with that crew, it was a party.
Speaker 3: It was a party every time. And at least two
Speaker 3: of the episodes they were night shoots, and I remember
Speaker 3: during one of them, somebody had set up a karaoke
Speaker 3: machine off the set, and so people were just getting
Speaker 3: silly and in the middle of the night, and it
Speaker 3: was just a really, really fun environment.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's great. Okay, back to the psychology. Do you
Speaker 1: think that do you think Emily damaged?
Speaker 3: Damage is a really loaded word. I think that she
Speaker 3: had incredibly specific and high expectations and Laura I wanted
Speaker 3: something different and neither one of them could meet in
Speaker 3: the middle. Do I think there's trauma there between the
Speaker 3: two of them, Absolutely, just like there is between Laura,
Speaker 3: l I and Rory and Emily and Rory, and do
Speaker 3: I think gets unsalvageable? Absolutely not. Man, if those two
Speaker 3: would have just talked a little bit, you know again,
Speaker 3: I'm just pushing therapy. It's such a pusher. But if
Speaker 3: they had gotten into it, into an office where Emily
Speaker 3: didn't hold the sort of ultimate status and they could
Speaker 3: just talk with each other like humans, like mothers, I
Speaker 3: don't know, things might have been different.
Speaker 1: Where do you practice you practice in La or where
Speaker 1: do you practice in La?
Speaker 3: I see clients all across California, But I live in Burbank,
Speaker 3: and before I went telehealth just a few months ago,
Speaker 3: my office was on Riverside Drive, looking right over the
Speaker 3: Warner Bros.
Speaker 5: Lot.
Speaker 3: Can't escape that lot.
Speaker 1: We're going to play a little game called rapid fire.
Speaker 1: Doesn't mean you have to answer the questions quickly. Uh,
Speaker 1: We'll just called it rapid fire. How do you like
Speaker 1: your coffee, Elizabeth?
Speaker 3: I like with oat milk and a lot of it,
Speaker 3: really a lot of it.
Speaker 1: Okay, are you what we already answered this one your team?
Speaker 1: Just who is your favorite Gilmore girls couple? Luke and
Speaker 1: Laurel I or Emily and Richard?
Speaker 3: Oh gosh, so different? So different? Is it really insulting
Speaker 3: if I? If I choose Emily and Richard, they're just
Speaker 3: such a.
Speaker 1: Delight personally insulting If it feels like you're attacking me,
Speaker 1: I'm stunned. What about Luke and Laurel? I talk about
Speaker 1: Luke and Laurel I a little bit?
Speaker 5: Why?
Speaker 1: Why? Go ahead? Sorry, go ahead?
Speaker 3: Talk about a couple who needed to talk and to
Speaker 3: improve their communications skill, such a such love and such support,
Speaker 3: and every time it went wrong it was because of
Speaker 3: something that could have been sorted out with just a
Speaker 3: little bit of a little bit of communication.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he wasn't famous for his communication skills, and nor
Speaker 1: was she, but I think she was a little better
Speaker 1: at it a little.
Speaker 3: But also, you know, she had a lot of pride.
Speaker 3: She was at Gilmour after all, a lot of pride.
Speaker 1: Right, Okay, would you rather work with Michelle or Kirk?
Speaker 3: Well, they're both so efficient in their own ways. I
Speaker 3: but I think Michelle and I would really would really
Speaker 3: get along.
Speaker 1: Really. Yeah, Well, why do you why Michelle.
Speaker 3: He makes me laugh every time he comes on screen,
Speaker 3: so I imagine, but he would do the same in an
Speaker 3: office environment.
Speaker 1: What would you order at Luke Steiner?
Speaker 3: Coffee of course, and more coffee.
Speaker 1: Who would you rather hang out with? Paris or Lane?
Speaker 3: I would probably want to go to the rock Show.
Speaker 1: With Lane, but didn't have Paris as a patient.
Speaker 3: Paris would be a difficult patient because she would really
Speaker 3: want to control the whole session. But here's the thing.
Speaker 3: I got a little bit of Paris in me too,
Speaker 3: so maybe we would be fast friends. Is that right?
Speaker 1: But what part of Paris do you have in you?
Speaker 1: What part would that be?
Speaker 3: I mean, I really like things the way that I
Speaker 3: like things. I have learned to be so much more flexible. Right.
Speaker 1: Are you happier as a result of that?
Speaker 3: Absolutely?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Harvard or Yale or drop out and live in the.
Speaker 3: Poolhouse Northwestern University?
Speaker 1: There you go? Is that where you went?
Speaker 3: I went?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I would you rather attend a daar event with Emily
Speaker 1: or a town meeting with Taylor?
Speaker 3: Town meeting one?
Speaker 1: You must like to sweat for fourteen solid hours and
Speaker 1: winter clothes in summer.
Speaker 3: Oh, you got to remember, I was always part of
Speaker 3: the Yale crew. I never got to visit Stars Hollow
Speaker 3: never so sad.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Gilmore Girl's character you would want as a roommate.
Speaker 3: Paris really very clean, yes really yeah, would keep things
Speaker 3: very clean and orderly. And you know what she is
Speaker 3: a ride or die. She will have your.
Speaker 1: Back, huh something in your life. You are all in.
Speaker 5: On m.
Speaker 3: My family they're great. I really like them, and also
Speaker 3: my private practice. I also really not in a weird way,
Speaker 3: but I really love and respect and admire all of
Speaker 3: my clients.
Speaker 1: Okay, so how would prospective patients get in touch?
Speaker 3: They can get in touch through my website which is
Speaker 3: fulfillinglifetherapy dot com and I'm on you know, Instagram and
Speaker 3: TikTok talking about mental health a little bit, so they
Speaker 3: can look me up on my on not too.
Speaker 1: Excellent, Elizabeth. It has been an intense pleasure talking to you.
Speaker 1: Good luck with your practice.
Speaker 5: Thank you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe we'll see you back on the boards as
Speaker 1: it were, inhabiting another role. But it was a pleasure
Speaker 1: talk and you getting to tell you a little bit
Speaker 1: and sharing your thoughts on your experiences on Gilmore Girls.
Speaker 1: All you too, Thank.
Speaker 5: You, hey everybody, and to forget.
Speaker 1: Follow us on Instagram at i Am all In Podcast,
Speaker 1: and email us at Gilmore at iHeartRadio dot com.