1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:03,120 Speaker 1: I'm gonna say something very controversial. It's gonna get a 2 00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:17,000 Speaker 1: lot of hate on this podcast. Well, it's everybody, welcome 3 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:20,279 Speaker 1: back to the podcast. My favorite guest by far is 4 00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:21,920 Speaker 1: with me today, Amber, my wife. 5 00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:23,680 Speaker 2: Oh you say that to everybody. 6 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:26,319 Speaker 1: I don't you know, because you listen and there's only 7 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:30,560 Speaker 1: just a few people that bring on here. It's like Bernie, Tyler, Parker, Marshall, 8 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:34,200 Speaker 1: Chad and you. That's the rotation at least right now. 9 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:38,639 Speaker 1: And we answer your questions. You email me Grangersmith podcast 10 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:41,760 Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. I do not like I don't 11 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:44,600 Speaker 1: really enjoy podcasts that have a bunch of small talk 12 00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:46,960 Speaker 1: at the beginning and finally get to the point later. 13 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:48,520 Speaker 1: So I'm gonna get to the point. 14 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:48,960 Speaker 2: Okay. 15 00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:51,000 Speaker 1: That's what we do on this podcast is we answer 16 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:53,040 Speaker 1: your questions, and I've got a bunch of them here, 17 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:56,160 Speaker 1: and you could ask me about anything. Really, it's been 18 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:58,120 Speaker 1: all over the map of the past two hundred and 19 00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:02,760 Speaker 1: ten ish eleven maybe this is two hundred and eleven episodes. 20 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:07,160 Speaker 1: The first one subject line says, Halloween is a Christian. 21 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:10,440 Speaker 1: It's interesting, Hey, Grandeur, I recently discovered your podcast and 22 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:12,840 Speaker 1: I love listening and getting insight on questions that I 23 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:15,160 Speaker 1: feel most people can relate to. My question is this, 24 00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:18,880 Speaker 1: what are your general thoughts around Halloween as a Christian? 25 00:01:18,959 --> 00:01:20,640 Speaker 1: My husband and I grew up in a religious home 26 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:23,840 Speaker 1: where Halloween was not celebrating. Excuse me, my husband grew 27 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:26,200 Speaker 1: up in a home, a religious home where Halloween was 28 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:30,120 Speaker 1: not celebrated, no trigger treating and whatnot. I grew up 29 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:32,160 Speaker 1: the exact opposite. I did not grow up in a 30 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:35,920 Speaker 1: Christian home. But I am thankful with love and patience 31 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:38,120 Speaker 1: that my husband has brought me to the Lord. I 32 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:41,280 Speaker 1: have mixed feelings about Halloween now because I grew up 33 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:43,920 Speaker 1: doing all the Halloween things and I don't want our 34 00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:46,880 Speaker 1: children to miss out. However, I do not agree with 35 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:51,120 Speaker 1: the root of Halloween. She says is a little dab 36 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:55,600 Speaker 1: of Halloween okay, costumes and trigger treat or is a 37 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:58,120 Speaker 1: little too much. I feel like there is a gray area, 38 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:00,840 Speaker 1: and I also feel like I am feel convicted of 39 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:04,360 Speaker 1: something that I should just trust that conviction. I thought 40 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,960 Speaker 1: about a podcast. I thought about a podcast that I 41 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:10,080 Speaker 1: listened to of yours where you talked about not conforming 42 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:13,080 Speaker 1: to what society thinks is normal, and it resonated with 43 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:18,840 Speaker 1: me around this topic, thinks Kayley. Yeah, okay, good, you 44 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:22,160 Speaker 1: got a good guest here, Kaylee. Amber could probably speak 45 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:26,080 Speaker 1: to this, and we're gonna probably tell you. I'll let 46 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:30,920 Speaker 1: her talk, but I will say that the gray area 47 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:36,519 Speaker 1: that you're referring to can be filled in with your 48 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:42,560 Speaker 1: own conviction, and sometimes a lot of cases your conviction 49 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:47,160 Speaker 1: is different than someone else's. I've used this example before, 50 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:52,040 Speaker 1: but I remember when I realized that college football was 51 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:56,560 Speaker 1: a sin for me, and I remember realizing that all 52 00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:59,720 Speaker 1: at once, and I was convicted that my emotions were 53 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,280 Speaker 1: connected to college football. 54 00:03:01,919 --> 00:03:03,880 Speaker 2: It was becoming an idol in a. 55 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:08,160 Speaker 1: Sense, absolutely becoming an idol. And I knew that because 56 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:12,400 Speaker 1: at the end of the day I was I could 57 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:17,680 Speaker 1: feel frustrated and emotionally drained if the Aggie's lost, or 58 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:22,120 Speaker 1: I could feel like at this extraordinary high and joy 59 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,919 Speaker 1: if the Aggies won. And it got to the point 60 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,760 Speaker 1: where I could look back on my day and go, 61 00:03:26,919 --> 00:03:30,320 Speaker 1: why do I feel depressed? Everything's going good, It's a 62 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:32,800 Speaker 1: good day, work's going good, Families going why do I 63 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 1: feel depressed? And I would go, oh, because at eleven am, 64 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:40,560 Speaker 1: the Aggie's lost. And then the same could happen when 65 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:43,440 Speaker 1: they win. And I realized that those highs and lows 66 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:45,800 Speaker 1: were taking me in a way that was it was 67 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:48,960 Speaker 1: becoming an idol that was controlling my emotions. So I 68 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:52,360 Speaker 1: remember telling chris My Tormnadress said, dude, I'm gonna I'm 69 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:54,720 Speaker 1: gonna have to lay off of college football and not 70 00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:58,040 Speaker 1: watch it and not follow it because it's becoming a 71 00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:01,520 Speaker 1: sin for me. And he got offended. He was like, 72 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:05,160 Speaker 1: are you telling me me watching the Longhorns is a sin? 73 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:11,480 Speaker 1: And It's like, no, that's my conviction. And it's you know, 74 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:16,279 Speaker 1: something like college football is non moral and so we can't. 75 00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:20,200 Speaker 1: You shouldn't spiritualize non moral things. But to me, if 76 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:22,840 Speaker 1: a non moral thing becomes an idol, then it's a sin. 77 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:25,960 Speaker 1: And that was my conviction, not his. I'll let him 78 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:29,600 Speaker 1: deal with his own convictions. And Halloween can be used 79 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:31,520 Speaker 1: is a little bit different than college football because of 80 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:35,279 Speaker 1: the evil associated with it, but it can be looked 81 00:04:35,279 --> 00:04:38,640 Speaker 1: at in that same way. As far as one family 82 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:43,160 Speaker 1: might think that Halloween is dressing up like a superhero 83 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:46,320 Speaker 1: or a Disney character, or a Army soldier or a 84 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:50,560 Speaker 1: football player, and they hang out with their nice little 85 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:54,240 Speaker 1: neighborhood and everyone like exchanges candy and they celebrate the 86 00:04:54,279 --> 00:04:58,480 Speaker 1: fall and pumpkins and fallen leaves and you know, things 87 00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:01,200 Speaker 1: like that. And then there be other families that it's 88 00:05:01,279 --> 00:05:05,919 Speaker 1: like witchcraft and demons and ghosts and they celebrate that. 89 00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:10,840 Speaker 1: So we're looking at a big jump here. I know 90 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:12,560 Speaker 1: you have thoughts on this, because we dealt with this 91 00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:14,360 Speaker 1: last year. Actually go ahead, I do. 92 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,799 Speaker 2: I do, and I'll be really honest. I still struggle 93 00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:20,520 Speaker 2: a little bit with it. We had very very strong 94 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:23,599 Speaker 2: convictions last year. We didn't do Halloween. I didn't go 95 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:26,560 Speaker 2: to my best friend's Halloween party, which is not obviously 96 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:29,120 Speaker 2: not celebrating anything demonic. We get together, we have a 97 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:32,800 Speaker 2: costume contest, we have fellowship with friends, and I told 98 00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:34,560 Speaker 2: the kids we weren't going to go trick or treating. 99 00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:37,120 Speaker 2: So I thought, well, then I can't go to this party. 100 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:38,880 Speaker 2: I can't tell them not to do something if I'm 101 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,360 Speaker 2: going to go do it. So I don't know why 102 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:43,680 Speaker 2: I felt that conviction last year, but we ended up 103 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:46,640 Speaker 2: having just some friends over no costumes. We did. We 104 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,560 Speaker 2: threw candy out in the woods. We called it the 105 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:52,120 Speaker 2: Candy Extravaganzy and just had the kids go out and 106 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:55,159 Speaker 2: grab candy, and we just had fellowship with other people. 107 00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:58,520 Speaker 2: You're gonna get people that are all over the map 108 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:01,760 Speaker 2: on this. You're gonna get people that say they'll quote 109 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:05,000 Speaker 2: the Bible have absolutely nothing to do with evil and darkness. 110 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:09,359 Speaker 2: You can't even like mingle with it because it is 111 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:12,400 Speaker 2: partly I mean, we'll walk by with trick or treating 112 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:14,279 Speaker 2: with the kids and there's like a man a demon 113 00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:16,880 Speaker 2: hanging from a tree. So I really kind of still 114 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:19,400 Speaker 2: struggle with it. Do I think that our kids could 115 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:22,080 Speaker 2: do it innocently and go knock on doors and say 116 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:25,800 Speaker 2: hello to our neighbors and grab candy and dress up. Yeah, 117 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:28,280 Speaker 2: but are we mixing a little bit in if we're 118 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,240 Speaker 2: joining those other people out on the street who are 119 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:35,400 Speaker 2: dressing up as bloody demons and witches. I still struggle. 120 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:39,279 Speaker 1: So let's answer her question directly on what she's asking, 121 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:47,360 Speaker 1: because she's asking, will my kids miss out quote that's 122 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:50,960 Speaker 1: what you said, quote miss out on if they don't 123 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:51,920 Speaker 1: celebrate Halloween. 124 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:55,240 Speaker 2: Okay, our kids were pretty upset because they see it 125 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:57,200 Speaker 2: as something innocent, and even London, she was so sweet. 126 00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:58,800 Speaker 2: She goes, I have an idea we can knock on 127 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:00,800 Speaker 2: the door and will hand them a bye, and then 128 00:07:00,839 --> 00:07:02,560 Speaker 2: we could we could still dress up and enjoy it, 129 00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:06,040 Speaker 2: and just that's their sweet, innocent hearts. If you look 130 00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:07,960 Speaker 2: at this as will my children miss out, you have 131 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,160 Speaker 2: to look at everything else that could be considered sin. 132 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:12,200 Speaker 2: Will my children miss out? Well, we want our kids 133 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:14,040 Speaker 2: to miss out on certain things, and we want to 134 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:15,800 Speaker 2: be different than the world, and we're called to be 135 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:19,200 Speaker 2: set apart. So I feel like she said she's having 136 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:21,080 Speaker 2: a strong conviction about it, and I think she should 137 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:21,640 Speaker 2: listen to it. 138 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:24,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, I do too. I think I think, Kayley, you 139 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:27,960 Speaker 1: should skip Halloween this year. Yeah, because that's your conviction 140 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:30,720 Speaker 1: and pray about it, and pray about it and do 141 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:32,600 Speaker 1: something like we did last year, maybe do a candy 142 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:37,440 Speaker 1: extravaganzy or something funny. Kids. They loved it, and we 143 00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:39,360 Speaker 1: had several families over that agreed with that. 144 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,240 Speaker 2: And then well, I'm sorry to me interrupt you. What 145 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:44,520 Speaker 2: was good was we had different families that we hadn't 146 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:47,440 Speaker 2: fellowshipped with before because everyone else was trigger treating. So 147 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:50,559 Speaker 2: we got to have fellowship with new families, which was neat. 148 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:53,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, I thought it was great. And and then back 149 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:56,160 Speaker 1: to this year, we don't know. We don't really know 150 00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:58,520 Speaker 1: what we're going to do, but we're up for an 151 00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:02,400 Speaker 1: option on the ending on our conviction, right And so 152 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:06,840 Speaker 1: I think, Kaylee, what you do now about Halloween doesn't 153 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:08,480 Speaker 1: have to be what you do every single year. I 154 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:10,760 Speaker 1: would say, try to sit out on it and see 155 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:14,240 Speaker 1: what happens. I'm gonna I don't think your kids are 156 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,680 Speaker 1: gonna miss out whatever you do. It's not up to them. 157 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:19,280 Speaker 1: They don't get They're not old enough to make their 158 00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:22,000 Speaker 1: own decisions about things like that, So they're not going 159 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,680 Speaker 1: to miss out. Our kids are not on screens right 160 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:27,520 Speaker 1: now for the next year. Are they going to miss out? No, 161 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:30,440 Speaker 1: they think they will, but we know that they won't. 162 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:34,600 Speaker 1: So yeah, go for it, go for skipping it. See 163 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:41,280 Speaker 1: what happens. Man. Sometimes I see these and I'm like, oh, 164 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:42,440 Speaker 1: do I want to do? 165 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:43,400 Speaker 2: I want? 166 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:45,160 Speaker 1: Do I want to go? I don't even know what 167 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,960 Speaker 1: this is gonna say, but it says heaven. Hey Grange, 168 00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:50,000 Speaker 1: I'm a longtime listener. I'm twenty four years old. I'm 169 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:52,160 Speaker 1: a christ Father. I live in Alabama and my dad 170 00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:54,800 Speaker 1: passed away when I was fourteen, and he was a 171 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:57,600 Speaker 1: non believer. I've come to peace with knowing that my 172 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:00,960 Speaker 1: father won't be in heaven to greet me when it's 173 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:04,320 Speaker 1: my time. My question is can I pray for my 174 00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:07,959 Speaker 1: father's peace and that he can go to heaven. Thank 175 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,959 Speaker 1: you for your podcast. It's helped me in so many ways. 176 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:15,360 Speaker 1: God bless you and your family. PS. Say hey to 177 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:17,400 Speaker 1: Earl and ask Donnie if he still parked up by 178 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:23,840 Speaker 1: the late question comes from Tyler and man, what an 179 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:28,040 Speaker 1: interesting question. And I will tell you that I've thought 180 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:31,120 Speaker 1: about this a lot. Amber probably knows that I have. 181 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:37,760 Speaker 1: And first of all, we know that no one will 182 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:41,000 Speaker 1: be in heaven that didn't trust Jesus as their Lord 183 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:46,120 Speaker 1: and savior. No one. We know that Jesus is the way, 184 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:49,079 Speaker 1: the truth, and the life, and that no one comes 185 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:52,240 Speaker 1: to the Father but by him. It's his own words. 186 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:55,280 Speaker 1: There is no way around that, and there's no substitution 187 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:58,280 Speaker 1: for that. In fact, he is the substitution for our 188 00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:04,600 Speaker 1: sin and his ultimate sacrifice on the cross. That being said, 189 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:13,040 Speaker 1: we don't know ever for sure with clarity, if someone 190 00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:15,600 Speaker 1: is going to be in heaven or not, or Hell 191 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:20,880 Speaker 1: or not. We don't know. We oftentimes have a good idea, yeah, 192 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,400 Speaker 1: but it's not our place to know. For sure, or 193 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:26,920 Speaker 1: to declare it, because we don't necessarily know what happens 194 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:30,480 Speaker 1: in those last moments of someone's life. Okay, I'll leave 195 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:32,160 Speaker 1: that there. I'll just leave that on the table. 196 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:33,000 Speaker 2: I agree with that. 197 00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:36,440 Speaker 1: The second thing is, to your question, kind of pray 198 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:41,880 Speaker 1: for my father's peace and that he can go to heaven. Okay, 199 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:45,560 Speaker 1: there's multilayers to that. First, I want to make sure 200 00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:48,840 Speaker 1: that that you're you're putting the oxygen mask on yourself 201 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:52,160 Speaker 1: first and that that doesn't become a distraction. I don't 202 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:55,640 Speaker 1: think it is, judging by your email that I want 203 00:10:55,679 --> 00:10:58,080 Speaker 1: to make sure that you know the gospel clearly, and 204 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:01,040 Speaker 1: I want to make sure that you're saved, and I 205 00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:05,360 Speaker 1: want to make sure that you understand that Heaven first 206 00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:09,480 Speaker 1: and foremost is going to the joy in heaven is 207 00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:14,000 Speaker 1: going to be enjoying the presence of your savior, the Creator. 208 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,920 Speaker 1: So everything that you loved about your father, everything you 209 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:21,200 Speaker 1: loved about anything that you've ever known, whether it's music 210 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:26,800 Speaker 1: or nature or a person, it's all of that is 211 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:31,240 Speaker 1: just a shadow of the existence of all of that 212 00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:34,760 Speaker 1: stuff's creator. So every music and piece of art, and 213 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:39,200 Speaker 1: every beautiful thing and every lovely thing that you've ever loved, 214 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:44,439 Speaker 1: or trusted or enjoyed is just but a thought from 215 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:47,680 Speaker 1: the Creator himself. So can you imagine being in his presence? 216 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:52,040 Speaker 1: I can't. I try to describe it, and I can't. 217 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:55,920 Speaker 1: But you will be so overwhelmed by the presence of 218 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:59,480 Speaker 1: the gift giver. Because we know how we've reacted to 219 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,320 Speaker 1: his gifts. How much more so will we react to 220 00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:05,520 Speaker 1: the giver of those gifts and being to being able 221 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:10,600 Speaker 1: to enjoy him in his full, unveiled glory. Our faces 222 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:13,840 Speaker 1: are not veiled. We're seeing him in his full brightness, 223 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:17,400 Speaker 1: in his full beauty. That's hard to comprehend, but we 224 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:19,439 Speaker 1: have to know that first and foremost that is heaven. 225 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,920 Speaker 1: I think we try to fill it with will there 226 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:26,560 Speaker 1: will there be fishing? Will there be I know that 227 00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:29,199 Speaker 1: there's there's the roads are paved with gold, but will 228 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,000 Speaker 1: there also be dirt roads? You know? Like we ask 229 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:33,920 Speaker 1: silly questions like that, we have to make sure that 230 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:37,480 Speaker 1: we always pad those silly questions with the idea that well, 231 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:39,800 Speaker 1: first and foremost we're gonna be in the presence of 232 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:45,360 Speaker 1: our Creator. Okay, got to say all that. And secondly, Gods, 233 00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:52,319 Speaker 1: as we could, we could barely comprehend an omnipresence, a 234 00:12:53,080 --> 00:13:00,240 Speaker 1: being that's outside of space, time and matter. Outside of 235 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:03,120 Speaker 1: that is something that we cannot begin to understand, but 236 00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:05,320 Speaker 1: he does. We do know that he does. We can't 237 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:09,280 Speaker 1: understand how anything could be outside of time, space and matter, 238 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:17,280 Speaker 1: but he is. And so could you pray retrospectively for 239 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:21,840 Speaker 1: someone that's already died? We have to be careful with 240 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:26,120 Speaker 1: that to make sure that we're not praying for someone 241 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:29,640 Speaker 1: salvation that never got it. So that's not what we're 242 00:13:29,679 --> 00:13:31,880 Speaker 1: saying here. We're not saying, can I pray for someone 243 00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:33,360 Speaker 1: that's in hell so that they can go to heaven? 244 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:36,560 Speaker 1: That doesn't happen? We know that. But can you pray 245 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:41,520 Speaker 1: retrospectively to a God out outside of time and say, God, 246 00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:47,440 Speaker 1: save my dad outside of time? If that's your will, 247 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:49,400 Speaker 1: let it be done. If not, let your will be 248 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:52,000 Speaker 1: done and your glory be known. But you know my 249 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,880 Speaker 1: heart and I wish Dad is saved. I want Dad 250 00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:58,480 Speaker 1: to be saved. I don't think that that that's a 251 00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:01,280 Speaker 1: complicated prayer, but I don't think there's anything inherently wrong 252 00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:03,680 Speaker 1: with it, as long as you understand where salvation comes 253 00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:07,480 Speaker 1: from and what it takes to get to heaven faith 254 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:10,800 Speaker 1: in Jesus his son. Right, what do you got on that? 255 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:13,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I would agree with you. We can 256 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:16,800 Speaker 2: never know for sure what happens in that final moment 257 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:21,120 Speaker 2: when they take their last breath and when the Lord 258 00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:24,720 Speaker 2: meets them. So I have hope in that. I mean, 259 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:27,320 Speaker 2: we do know we're only saved by grace through faith 260 00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:31,400 Speaker 2: and Jesus alone. So if if he was a non 261 00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:35,280 Speaker 2: believer and he was very adamant about that, then we 262 00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:38,160 Speaker 2: don't know. But like I said, you don't know whenever 263 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:42,640 Speaker 2: Jesus comes what that moment looks like. So, and I 264 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:44,880 Speaker 2: agree with you. God is outside of time, space and matter, 265 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:47,560 Speaker 2: and that is something that just just blows my mind 266 00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:51,440 Speaker 2: to think about. Because you've actually talked about the retrospective 267 00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:53,920 Speaker 2: prayers before, so it's it's something very interesting. And I 268 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,480 Speaker 2: can't tell you that we have all the answers. But 269 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:59,280 Speaker 2: like Granger said, I don't think that it's wrong for 270 00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:00,240 Speaker 2: you to pray. 271 00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:03,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, as long as it doesn't become a distraction or 272 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:08,360 Speaker 1: we know this too about hell. We know that whoever 273 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:12,640 Speaker 1: ends up in Hell will not want to be in heaven. 274 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:16,840 Speaker 1: And that's a strange thought. But there is nobody in 275 00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:20,680 Speaker 1: hell saying I wish I was with God, because all 276 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,520 Speaker 1: of those people will be with him, all the people 277 00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:27,640 Speaker 1: that truly desire to be with God will be And 278 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:32,520 Speaker 1: the people that end up in hell will be resentful 279 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:37,360 Speaker 1: and non repentant, unrepentant. While in hell they'll still be 280 00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:41,640 Speaker 1: in rebellion. So that's an interesting thought too. There will 281 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:45,960 Speaker 1: be nobody in hell repenting saying I'm so sorry, please 282 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:50,040 Speaker 1: give me another chance. They won't, they'll stay. I still 283 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:54,760 Speaker 1: don't believe you God. You know that's a complicated topic. 284 00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:57,760 Speaker 1: Before I jump into another one, let's take a break 285 00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:04,280 Speaker 1: and be right back. Podcast is brought to you all 286 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:07,360 Speaker 1: by Better Help. If you need somebody to talk to, 287 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:10,720 Speaker 1: like a therapist, and you've been wondering how to go 288 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:13,400 Speaker 1: about even finding one, and you've heard me talk about 289 00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:17,280 Speaker 1: how therapy helped Amber and I and you say, I 290 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:19,560 Speaker 1: don't even know where to start. Where do I find 291 00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:22,280 Speaker 1: a therapist like this? Well, there's never been a better 292 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:25,480 Speaker 1: time to find one in twenty twenty three, no matter 293 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:28,240 Speaker 1: where you live, because of Better Help. If you're thinking 294 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:32,560 Speaker 1: about starting therapy, give Better Help a try. It's entirely online, 295 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:36,000 Speaker 1: which is awesome, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited 296 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:39,160 Speaker 1: to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire and 297 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:42,320 Speaker 1: get matched with a licensed therapist, and then switch therapist 298 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:45,840 Speaker 1: anytime at no additional charge. Get a break from your 299 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:50,640 Speaker 1: thoughts with better Help. Visit better Help dot com slash 300 00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:53,240 Speaker 1: Granger today to get ten percent off your first month. 301 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:57,640 Speaker 1: That's Better Help h LP dot com slash Granger. You 302 00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:59,000 Speaker 1: know what really helps me? I know a lot of 303 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:01,000 Speaker 1: y'all have read the book that listened to this podcast. 304 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,840 Speaker 1: It really helps me if you review it, if you 305 00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:06,040 Speaker 1: give me five stars and review it, it actually helps 306 00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:08,880 Speaker 1: kick up that algorithm and helps it get in front 307 00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:11,639 Speaker 1: of other people that might not normally have seen like 308 00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:14,800 Speaker 1: a river. So do that for me. It costs nothing 309 00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:18,320 Speaker 1: to you and it actually really really helps me. Finally, 310 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:19,919 Speaker 1: if you want to get a hold of me, if 311 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:21,840 Speaker 1: you want me to send you a message, I say 312 00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:24,560 Speaker 1: this a lot. Cameo dot com slash Granger Smith. It's 313 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:26,680 Speaker 1: a really good way to do it. Or you can 314 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:29,560 Speaker 1: download the cameo app and search for me Granger Smith. 315 00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:32,199 Speaker 1: You ask for whatever you want me to record, and 316 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:34,920 Speaker 1: I pull out my phone and do a video message 317 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:39,359 Speaker 1: specifically to you or to your son, or your boyfriend 318 00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:43,480 Speaker 1: or girlfriend or daughter or whatever. It might be a 319 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:48,560 Speaker 1: word of encouragement, Happy birthday, happy anniversary, Merry Christmas. I 320 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:49,959 Speaker 1: could do it all, and I have done it all, 321 00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:52,560 Speaker 1: and it's really easy. It's a great last minute gift 322 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:56,240 Speaker 1: and something for someone that has everything. So cameo dot 323 00:17:56,280 --> 00:18:04,760 Speaker 1: com slash granger Smith. Back to the podcast. Back here 324 00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:06,720 Speaker 1: on the podcast, I'm going to do something that I 325 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:10,679 Speaker 1: don't think i've done. I'm going to go way back. 326 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,320 Speaker 1: In fact, I'm going to go all the way back 327 00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:15,160 Speaker 1: to twenty twenty. 328 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:15,680 Speaker 2: Okay. 329 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:19,479 Speaker 1: In fact, I have a folder that says Amber oh, 330 00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:22,159 Speaker 1: and it's from twenty twenty. It's like if something was 331 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:24,720 Speaker 1: related to you, I threw it in that folder. So 332 00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:27,080 Speaker 1: we're going back on the podcast, and once again, if 333 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:30,679 Speaker 1: you want to email me Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. 334 00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:36,360 Speaker 1: And I have thousands of these emails and I try 335 00:18:36,359 --> 00:18:39,439 Speaker 1: to go through them as systematically as I can, but 336 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:41,680 Speaker 1: there's not really a rhyme or reason. So I hope 337 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:44,840 Speaker 1: that I always hope I get to your question, but 338 00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:47,880 Speaker 1: know that if I don't, it's still in here somewhere. 339 00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:49,320 Speaker 1: So I'm gonna go back and try to help some 340 00:18:49,359 --> 00:18:52,880 Speaker 1: of these people out and go way back. I have 341 00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:55,840 Speaker 1: no idea what I'm getting into. I have no idea 342 00:18:55,960 --> 00:19:00,000 Speaker 1: this is this one's going to be November thirtieth, twenty twelve, 343 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:04,359 Speaker 1: and the subject line says deep question for you or Amber. Okay, okay, 344 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:08,440 Speaker 1: hey Grangel, this is Josh from Cleborne, Texas. I love 345 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:11,040 Speaker 1: your music, your family, and your YouTube. I've seen you 346 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:12,680 Speaker 1: every time you've come to Billy Bob's and I can't 347 00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:14,520 Speaker 1: wait for you to come back with meet and greets 348 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:19,240 Speaker 1: so I can give you a challenge coin from my department. Yeah, 349 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:21,600 Speaker 1: I wonder if you already got that maybe, So to 350 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:23,359 Speaker 1: try and sum this up, my wife and I've been 351 00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:26,679 Speaker 1: married for twelve years and have struggled for years to 352 00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:31,000 Speaker 1: have kids. We have. We've had two miscarriages and spent 353 00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:34,520 Speaker 1: over twenty grand on IVF treatments to be told it 354 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:40,200 Speaker 1: was impossible. God has since blessed us with two beautiful miracles. 355 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,960 Speaker 1: But that is a testimony for a longer format if 356 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:45,119 Speaker 1: you were interested. I'm a man of God, and I 357 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:47,560 Speaker 1: understand that I am supposed to let go of things 358 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,720 Speaker 1: I don't understand and turn away from anger. But anytime 359 00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:53,440 Speaker 1: I see people who had children by accident then don't 360 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:56,200 Speaker 1: appreciate it, or people who gave up on their kids 361 00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:59,199 Speaker 1: or have had abortions. It angers me so much. I 362 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:02,800 Speaker 1: find difficult and showing these people love. I thought it 363 00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:05,000 Speaker 1: would be different once I had kids of my own, 364 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:08,119 Speaker 1: but it hasn't. How do I move past this anger 365 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:11,000 Speaker 1: and learn to love these people some as some are 366 00:20:11,119 --> 00:20:14,080 Speaker 1: very close friends or family. I love that you take 367 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,520 Speaker 1: these deep questions and give godly insight and advice. Thanks 368 00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:21,960 Speaker 1: for all you do, Josh Okay. Josh asked this in 369 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:26,040 Speaker 1: November of twenty twenty. Did we have We didn't have math, No, 370 00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:31,320 Speaker 1: twenty twenty one. Yeah, so no one even knew about 371 00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:34,480 Speaker 1: math at this point. No one knew that month was 372 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:35,440 Speaker 1: that November? 373 00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:40,040 Speaker 2: November, so I would have been newly pregnant. No, December. 374 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:41,680 Speaker 2: I got pred in in December. 375 00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:43,560 Speaker 1: So no one. Josh didn't even know as he wrote 376 00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:48,480 Speaker 1: this email three years ago that we were currently going 377 00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:52,000 Speaker 1: through IVF. As he wrote to us about IVF, Yeah, 378 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:57,040 Speaker 1: which is interesting and probably the reason I never read it. Yeah, 379 00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,640 Speaker 1: maybe because I was like, oh, that one hits close 380 00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:06,480 Speaker 1: to home, so I empathize, you know, It's like I 381 00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:12,600 Speaker 1: can't imagine going for years and years through miscarriages. You 382 00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:16,240 Speaker 1: had just gone through a miscarriage, as this guy wrote 383 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:18,160 Speaker 1: this email, You had just gone through one a few 384 00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:21,000 Speaker 1: months before this, just a couple of months before. And 385 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:24,120 Speaker 1: then you're looking around and there's people just having babies 386 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,320 Speaker 1: like crazy, and they're not even wanting to. 387 00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:32,800 Speaker 2: It's a natural, fleshly feeling to have those feelings. I 388 00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:35,000 Speaker 2: remember feeling a little bit of this when we lost River. 389 00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:37,040 Speaker 2: You know, you look around and you see people who 390 00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:41,040 Speaker 2: treat their kids offs terribly, beat them or neglect them, 391 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:45,680 Speaker 2: and they're fine, Their kids are fine, And so it's 392 00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,880 Speaker 2: a natural feeling to have that little bit of, oh, 393 00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:52,439 Speaker 2: I'm mad, I'm angry. Why do they get to have 394 00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:53,880 Speaker 2: a son? Why do they get to keep their child? 395 00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:58,280 Speaker 2: And we didn't. And it truly came. It truly came 396 00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:01,520 Speaker 2: to me just surrendering everything to the Lord and trusting 397 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:05,919 Speaker 2: him and knowing that we live in a fallen world 398 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:10,119 Speaker 2: and bad things happen, and God makes it rain on 399 00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:12,840 Speaker 2: the just and the unjust at the same time, and 400 00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:14,840 Speaker 2: we have to trust that He knows what he is 401 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:16,280 Speaker 2: doing and that he has got and we are not. 402 00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:19,439 Speaker 2: And every situation is different and I'm so sorry that 403 00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:21,160 Speaker 2: you had to go through that. I know the pain 404 00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:24,280 Speaker 2: of a miscarriage and what that feels like. But you're 405 00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:28,879 Speaker 2: also blessed with two beautiful babies. I think ye said, so, 406 00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:31,840 Speaker 2: my advice would be to draw near to the Lord 407 00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:36,760 Speaker 2: and just to I mean, our greatest commandments are to 408 00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:39,520 Speaker 2: love God and love others, and pray for our enemies. 409 00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:43,119 Speaker 2: Pray for the Lord to remove that feeling, that spirit 410 00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:45,720 Speaker 2: of anger, that spirit of bitterness from you, because that's 411 00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:48,679 Speaker 2: holding you hostage in a way. You can't walk in 412 00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:52,359 Speaker 2: freedom if if you're still holding resentment even though you 413 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:55,480 Speaker 2: have been blessed by the Lord. I guess that would 414 00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:57,399 Speaker 2: be my advice is just to draw near to. 415 00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:01,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, you said the rain. God makes it rain on 416 00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:05,159 Speaker 1: the just and unjust, And that idea is called common grace. 417 00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:09,119 Speaker 1: He gives a common grace to all people, even his enemies, 418 00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:12,080 Speaker 1: even the people that reject him. There's a common grace 419 00:23:12,119 --> 00:23:18,280 Speaker 1: that everyone gets. But through that common grace, we also 420 00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:20,840 Speaker 1: know that He is providential and he always has a 421 00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:25,720 Speaker 1: plan for his greater glory. So everything, every baby that 422 00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:29,400 Speaker 1: happens by accident is not an accident. It's providential, and 423 00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:32,479 Speaker 1: it's all working for a greater glory. Even when you 424 00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:35,520 Speaker 1: see bad things happen or evil things happen, it's all 425 00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:39,240 Speaker 1: working for a greater glory. Yeah, I think you're right. 426 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:43,280 Speaker 1: I think learning who he is, praying for repenting for 427 00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:47,480 Speaker 1: that anger you have towards those people, and praying that 428 00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:50,040 Speaker 1: the Lord takes that away from you, gratefulness for the 429 00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:53,080 Speaker 1: kids you have. It's good. You want to go to 430 00:23:53,240 --> 00:24:03,400 Speaker 1: another one of these old ones. Okay, here's one from 431 00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:07,439 Speaker 1: January twenty twenty one. Hey, Grangeer, and my husband, Corey 432 00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:09,879 Speaker 1: loves your podcast and your music. He listens to your 433 00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:13,520 Speaker 1: podcast religiously. We have a nine month old baby girl 434 00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:16,000 Speaker 1: and she finally started to bond with her daddy. But 435 00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:19,119 Speaker 1: I know it's been kind of hard for him because 436 00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:21,720 Speaker 1: for the longest time the only person she wanted was me. 437 00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:24,320 Speaker 1: Any tips for new parents on how to get through 438 00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:27,320 Speaker 1: some of the hard stages of little ones, especially for 439 00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:31,960 Speaker 1: dads when their little one only wants their mama. I 440 00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:34,200 Speaker 1: love your show. God bless you and your family. Kayley. 441 00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:38,600 Speaker 2: Okay, well you could speak into that. Yeah, it's a 442 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:41,359 Speaker 2: running joke in our house that Granger just goes it's 443 00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:42,879 Speaker 2: all right, They'll love me again when they're about eight 444 00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:46,639 Speaker 2: years old, because they do they cling to mommy. Mommy 445 00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:50,200 Speaker 2: feeds them, Mommy. You know, Mommy's the source of their sustenance. 446 00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:53,280 Speaker 2: So you know all about that. I would leave the house, 447 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:55,919 Speaker 2: the kids would scream, scream on the floor. We have 448 00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:59,280 Speaker 2: so many videos, and you were just so patient through 449 00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:01,560 Speaker 2: it all and know that that will change. 450 00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:04,480 Speaker 1: We have we have four kids that have done the 451 00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:10,120 Speaker 1: same thing. They've loved mama for a long time. And London, 452 00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:16,280 Speaker 1: our daughter who's not twelve, she finally really started loving me. 453 00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:18,639 Speaker 1: What about ten. 454 00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:20,800 Speaker 2: Years old, nine years old, maybe. 455 00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:24,440 Speaker 1: Like nine years nine years of I'm just the guy 456 00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:28,280 Speaker 1: in the house, like on the back burner. And there's 457 00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:31,119 Speaker 1: all kinds of theories of that. People people. Some people 458 00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:33,520 Speaker 1: told me that's because your kids were never in daycare, 459 00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:35,720 Speaker 1: and when kids go to daycare they learn to share. 460 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:39,199 Speaker 1: And there's this idea and I don't know if that's 461 00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:41,560 Speaker 1: right or not, but I do know there's this idea 462 00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:47,840 Speaker 1: that a kid cannot love two parents equally. They don't 463 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:49,920 Speaker 1: know yet how to how to share love. 464 00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:51,040 Speaker 2: They feel like they can't. 465 00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:53,640 Speaker 1: They feel like they can't. They feel like if they 466 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:56,159 Speaker 1: love daddy, then they're taken away love from mommy and 467 00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:58,960 Speaker 1: they can't possibly love two people at the same time. 468 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:04,520 Speaker 1: There's that theory. Ultimately, it's just kind of play out 469 00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:07,600 Speaker 1: and you just let kids you love them, and you 470 00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:10,240 Speaker 1: continue to pursue them. You like to say that word 471 00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:13,639 Speaker 1: pursue them, especially with the girls, And is that what 472 00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:16,400 Speaker 1: this this is We're talking about a girl here, Yeah, 473 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:19,639 Speaker 1: baby girl. Yeah, just continue to pursue her as a dad. 474 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:22,640 Speaker 1: And it's interesting that this question came in at twenty 475 00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:26,359 Speaker 1: twenty one because now she's like almost three years old, 476 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:31,240 Speaker 1: and that probably still hasn't changed for you, brother, probably 477 00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:34,720 Speaker 1: still the same, Corey, And all you gonna do is 478 00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:39,399 Speaker 1: hang on for about five more years and it finally 479 00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:41,359 Speaker 1: starts even and out if you just keep pursuing her, 480 00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:45,840 Speaker 1: keep loving her. And then by my fourth child, I 481 00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:48,160 Speaker 1: was pretty good at the patience of it. Like when 482 00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:50,639 Speaker 1: I didn't take offense to it didn't hurt your feelings, 483 00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:53,680 Speaker 1: didn't hurt my feelings. They're like, Mama, I want Mama 484 00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:55,760 Speaker 1: to put me down. I want mom and to put 485 00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:57,760 Speaker 1: that's like a common phrase in our house. I want 486 00:26:57,760 --> 00:26:59,920 Speaker 1: mom and to put me down. I just got to 487 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:02,520 Speaker 1: and I was like, well, she's not I. 488 00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:06,120 Speaker 2: Am, Well, you always said because you were the guy. 489 00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:10,080 Speaker 2: It's like the kids knew if mommy was leaving, they 490 00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:10,879 Speaker 2: had to be with daddy. 491 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:14,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, I also represented uh, he represented me. 492 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:16,320 Speaker 2: Me going somewhere or going to the store or working. 493 00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:20,240 Speaker 2: So yeah, it wasn't. But now London feels so terrible. 494 00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:22,639 Speaker 2: Granger shows her old videos of her like crying on 495 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:24,440 Speaker 2: the floor and she's like, Daddy, I'm so sorry, I'm 496 00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:27,119 Speaker 2: so sorry. I love you so much. So it'll flip, 497 00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:27,600 Speaker 2: it'll turn. 498 00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:30,720 Speaker 1: And Lincoln, he only wants me to throw the football 499 00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:32,879 Speaker 1: with him all day long now, and we're about to 500 00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:36,000 Speaker 1: go on a trip tomorrow, just a guy's trip tomorrow 501 00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:36,679 Speaker 1: for all weekend. 502 00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:39,040 Speaker 2: So and I will say one more thing. With Maverick, 503 00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:42,160 Speaker 2: he's a little bit different. He now only wants Daddy 504 00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:43,680 Speaker 2: to put him down. So if he say do you 505 00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:46,000 Speaker 2: want mommy or daddy, he goes Daddy down, Daddy down. 506 00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:49,440 Speaker 2: So he's he's only two, so maybe it won't always 507 00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:49,880 Speaker 2: be that way. 508 00:27:50,640 --> 00:28:03,840 Speaker 1: Very interesting and a good question, maybe this one. Let's 509 00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:06,680 Speaker 1: see you want to stick with these old ones. It's 510 00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:10,520 Speaker 1: kind of interesting. This is your podcast. Hey there, Granger 511 00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:14,360 Speaker 1: and Amber. My name is Riley I'm eighteen living in Indiana. 512 00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:15,800 Speaker 1: I've been a fan of your music for a long 513 00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:18,000 Speaker 1: time now and your beautiful family. Yet somehow I only 514 00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:20,000 Speaker 1: just now realized you have a podcast, and I've listened 515 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:22,000 Speaker 1: to a few episodes now and I love it. I 516 00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:24,479 Speaker 1: was wondering what your take is on this issue I've 517 00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:26,959 Speaker 1: been dealing with. Freshman year of high school. I met 518 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:30,560 Speaker 1: this girl an English class who have only over time, 519 00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:34,840 Speaker 1: I've become more and more crazy about. Mind you. Before 520 00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:37,000 Speaker 1: high school, I didn't want anything to do with relationships 521 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,040 Speaker 1: because no one ever seemed to be worth my time, 522 00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:41,040 Speaker 1: and I knew that if I had a relationship with someone, 523 00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:44,240 Speaker 1: I wanted it to be serious, not just for kicks. 524 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:47,120 Speaker 1: But this girl changed that. She made me feel that 525 00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:50,400 Speaker 1: different way about the possibility of being with someone. And 526 00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:53,200 Speaker 1: she really is that kind of girl that you want 527 00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:55,720 Speaker 1: to buy a ring for. Fast forward for years and 528 00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:58,040 Speaker 1: I'm still absolutely crazy about her, and I've been in 529 00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:01,520 Speaker 1: and out of touch with her. I'm not really good 530 00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,920 Speaker 1: at talking to women. I have told her how I 531 00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:07,480 Speaker 1: felt before, but I think that it was too much 532 00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:10,479 Speaker 1: for her at the time, which I regret. Last thing 533 00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:14,360 Speaker 1: I ever want to be is uncomfortable with her. We've 534 00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:18,560 Speaker 1: been texting since last October now and then, and many 535 00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:20,920 Speaker 1: times I thought that she was interested. Lately she's been 536 00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:23,720 Speaker 1: a little more distant, and I think that's because she's 537 00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:25,840 Speaker 1: very focused on her future and all that kind of 538 00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:30,560 Speaker 1: stuff I have been as well. She's very Christian and 539 00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:33,320 Speaker 1: has a great head on her shoulders, and like I said, 540 00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:34,719 Speaker 1: she's just the kind of girl you want to buy 541 00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:37,200 Speaker 1: a ring for something. I just don't know what to do. 542 00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:39,280 Speaker 1: I don't know if I should ask her if she's interested, 543 00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:41,520 Speaker 1: or just let it go and see what happens. I 544 00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:44,720 Speaker 1: don't want to repeat what I did before and saying 545 00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:48,479 Speaker 1: too much too soon. I've tried asking her to hang 546 00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:51,640 Speaker 1: out a few times, but with my luck, she's been 547 00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:55,040 Speaker 1: out of town for some soccer training camps each time 548 00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:57,440 Speaker 1: I've asked her. I'm not sure if I'm making total 549 00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:00,440 Speaker 1: sense here, and there's so many more details I've left out, 550 00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:02,080 Speaker 1: but I hope you get the idea. I'm just a 551 00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:04,640 Speaker 1: young and dumb eighteen year old guy who thinks that 552 00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:07,560 Speaker 1: I have found the one, but it's probably just the 553 00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:11,720 Speaker 1: race fuel that I'm always inhaling at the track. I 554 00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:17,040 Speaker 1: appreciate it if you read this Riley, Okay, Riley, Riley, 555 00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:18,920 Speaker 1: long question, simple answer. 556 00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:22,560 Speaker 2: Go ahead, move on, Yeah, move on, buddy. I hate 557 00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:26,080 Speaker 2: to just be so blunt, but even at eighteen, if 558 00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:29,200 Speaker 2: a girl likes you, she's going to make time, she's 559 00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:30,800 Speaker 2: going to want to hang out. And I feel, like 560 00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:32,320 Speaker 2: you said, you've been going back and forth for over 561 00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:34,800 Speaker 2: four years. Maybe is that since middle school? Or is 562 00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:37,800 Speaker 2: he is that out of high school into college. He's 563 00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:38,680 Speaker 2: only eighteen. 564 00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:41,040 Speaker 1: Now, he's eighteen now, so that goes back to middle school. 565 00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:44,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I think you are maybe in the friend 566 00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:48,200 Speaker 2: zone or I just think she would have if she 567 00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:50,200 Speaker 2: was really interested in getting together. You guys would have 568 00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:52,360 Speaker 2: done it by now. And I know that's hard to hear. 569 00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:54,640 Speaker 2: And would you say the same thing. 570 00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:58,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not a mystery, buddy, she's not into you. 571 00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:01,680 Speaker 1: It's not that you have said. It's like, it's not 572 00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:04,160 Speaker 1: like she would be into into you. But you kind 573 00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:06,640 Speaker 1: of messed up a few things that you said because 574 00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:09,200 Speaker 1: she would have saw She would have seen through that 575 00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:13,560 Speaker 1: and been like, I'm really interested in this guy and 576 00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:16,280 Speaker 1: he hasn't said the right things, but I'm interested in 577 00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:20,280 Speaker 1: him that that hasn't happened, Like you said, it's time 578 00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:23,320 Speaker 1: to move on. Just because she's the kind of girl 579 00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:25,760 Speaker 1: to buy a ring for, cool, Yeah, it doesn't mean 580 00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:27,840 Speaker 1: she's the one that you're going to buy a ring for. 581 00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,320 Speaker 1: There's lots of girls you'll meet along the way and go, 582 00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:32,320 Speaker 1: that's a good girl to buy a ring for. But 583 00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:35,600 Speaker 1: that doesn't mean your girl. So there will be another one. 584 00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:38,440 Speaker 1: There'll be lots of girls that you could buy rings for. 585 00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:41,120 Speaker 1: Pick another one that likes you, and then buy a 586 00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:41,760 Speaker 1: ring for her. 587 00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:44,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, And just because just because she's not into you 588 00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:46,440 Speaker 2: doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. It just is 589 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:47,800 Speaker 2: probably not a good match, that's all. 590 00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:56,320 Speaker 1: Absolutely, here's one. This subject line says, read me, you 591 00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:57,280 Speaker 1: won't regret it. 592 00:31:58,360 --> 00:31:59,000 Speaker 2: I'm excited. 593 00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:03,240 Speaker 1: Hey Granger, please don't share my name. So this question 594 00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:06,080 Speaker 1: is crazy, and I'm gonna get right into it. My 595 00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:08,719 Speaker 1: mother in law had an eight year affair with her 596 00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:13,080 Speaker 1: husband's best friend. My husband her son caught her numerous 597 00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:16,360 Speaker 1: times and she lied to him. It destroyed him. This 598 00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:19,160 Speaker 1: was years ago, and I still feel resentment towards her 599 00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:22,200 Speaker 1: for this. How would I go? How would you go 600 00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:25,480 Speaker 1: about this situation? How do I forgive her? I've tried 601 00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:30,280 Speaker 1: so hard, she hasn't properly handled him heal. I'm always 602 00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:34,160 Speaker 1: thinking about asking you this because you and Amber's advice 603 00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:35,920 Speaker 1: is always the best. Much love to you in your 604 00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:41,000 Speaker 1: beautiful family. Okay, so how do I forgive? That's the question. 605 00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:43,600 Speaker 2: I don't know that our advice is always the best, 606 00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:46,280 Speaker 2: but thank you. So this is the wife of the husband. 607 00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:48,120 Speaker 1: I'm regretting reading this. I'm kidding. 608 00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:51,160 Speaker 2: This is the wife of the husband whose mom had 609 00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:55,800 Speaker 2: the affair, Yes, and her husband. She's upset because her 610 00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:57,600 Speaker 2: husband wasn't able to properly grieve. 611 00:32:58,760 --> 00:32:59,400 Speaker 1: That's correct. 612 00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:03,800 Speaker 2: How old do you think they are? Does that matter? 613 00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:07,440 Speaker 1: No, it probably didn't matter. The mother in law had 614 00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:11,760 Speaker 1: an affair for eight years with her husband's best friend, 615 00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:19,040 Speaker 1: and the husband of the emailer caught her numerous times. 616 00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:22,560 Speaker 1: That is strange. First of all, to catch your mother, 617 00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:27,640 Speaker 1: what does that even mean? I'm not sure. That's crazy. 618 00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:33,080 Speaker 2: That's terrible. I'm sorry that your mom had an affair. 619 00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:36,200 Speaker 1: But then you caught her, but were multiple times? 620 00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:39,400 Speaker 2: Grangeur and I always say, we're not surprised by anything anymore. 621 00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:44,600 Speaker 2: When people aren't walking with Christ, it's it's sin and 622 00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:48,280 Speaker 2: it's it's awful to cheat on your spouse, and it 623 00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:52,160 Speaker 2: affects the kids. But if she's not walking with the Lord, 624 00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:57,560 Speaker 2: you can't. I don't know. I was just talking about forgiveness. 625 00:33:57,560 --> 00:33:59,600 Speaker 2: You have to you have to forgive her. Jesus calls 626 00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:03,400 Speaker 2: us to give because he has forgiven us, and so 627 00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:06,280 Speaker 2: that will free you. You're you're obviously holding up a 628 00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:07,520 Speaker 2: bunch of resentment and anger. 629 00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:08,399 Speaker 1: It's done, it's over. 630 00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:13,239 Speaker 2: It's over, you know, and talk. I just communicate with her, 631 00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:16,520 Speaker 2: and maybe she didn't handle it the best way. People 632 00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:18,560 Speaker 2: don't always do the right thing. They don't always handle 633 00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:21,560 Speaker 2: things the way that they should. But we need to 634 00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:26,680 Speaker 2: have grace and forgiveness and maybe just a conversation, sit down, 635 00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:30,880 Speaker 2: have a conversation. Hopefully apologies can be made and you 636 00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:33,120 Speaker 2: guys can build build back your relationship. 637 00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:36,480 Speaker 1: It's gonna start with that. It's going to start with 638 00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:41,760 Speaker 1: forgiveness and kindness. And we've said before forgiveness doesn't equal trust. 639 00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:44,440 Speaker 1: It's not the same thing. Trust is earned. Forgiveness is 640 00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:46,799 Speaker 1: a free gift. So you're gonna you're going to give them. 641 00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:51,719 Speaker 1: You're gonna give her forgiveness and and your heart might disagree, 642 00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:54,000 Speaker 1: but you just say it. You just God just want 643 00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:58,320 Speaker 1: to tell you I forgive you, yeah, and your heart's screaming, 644 00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:02,440 Speaker 1: but I don't. I don't. But there's something about speaking 645 00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:05,719 Speaker 1: it and your heart following because you know that's the 646 00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:07,840 Speaker 1: right thing to do. There's something to that, and it 647 00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:10,920 Speaker 1: doesn't mean trust. So don't think now you trust her 648 00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:14,720 Speaker 1: and she's perfect now and she's no longer a sinner. 649 00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:18,799 Speaker 1: Whatever you are too, by the way, but this is 650 00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:23,520 Speaker 1: also the grandmother of your children. Yeah, And I've seen 651 00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:25,919 Speaker 1: this play out before. We know a family this same 652 00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:30,160 Speaker 1: thing played out with and eventually you have to reconcile. 653 00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:32,400 Speaker 1: You have to forgive just for the sake of your 654 00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:35,759 Speaker 1: kid's having a grandmother again, because she's going to get 655 00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:38,080 Speaker 1: old and that thing is going to get farther and 656 00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:40,640 Speaker 1: further into the past. And your kids just want to 657 00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:43,520 Speaker 1: hang out with grandma sometimes and make chocolate chip cookies. 658 00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:47,120 Speaker 1: And so if you hold this grudge over her head 659 00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:50,200 Speaker 1: and say I can't forgive her, I'm still angry, then 660 00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:53,759 Speaker 1: now that's going it's becoming generational. It's just going into 661 00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:56,839 Speaker 1: the grandkids. Now. Yeah, it's not a good thing. 662 00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:59,319 Speaker 2: No, And I would say if your husband hasn't been 663 00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:02,959 Speaker 2: able to properly heal maybe some biblical counseling might help 664 00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:06,040 Speaker 2: to walk him through the pain that he endured. You know, 665 00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:09,000 Speaker 2: having going through that as a child, I can imagine 666 00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:11,240 Speaker 2: is hard. So maybe you guys go to counseling together, 667 00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:13,399 Speaker 2: go to counseling maybe with your mom, and see if 668 00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:15,480 Speaker 2: an outside party can help you guys work through this. 669 00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:21,839 Speaker 1: Ollkay, let's stick with the Let's do one more out 670 00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:32,160 Speaker 1: of this. The old folder, the archives, the archives. Here's 671 00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:35,480 Speaker 1: one from twenty twenty one saying, how is your family 672 00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:38,680 Speaker 1: doing with the pregnancy issue? Granger? I don't know what 673 00:36:38,719 --> 00:36:42,759 Speaker 1: that means, but MAV was probably in your belly that 674 00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:44,399 Speaker 1: was written. We'll skip that one. 675 00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:47,040 Speaker 2: We're doing great. He's driving around an attractor. 676 00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:55,200 Speaker 1: Here's one note subject. It says, Hey, Granger, my question is, 677 00:36:55,239 --> 00:36:58,319 Speaker 1: have you or anyone in your family ever suffered or 678 00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:02,319 Speaker 1: is suffering from alcohol or drug addiction? If so, what 679 00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:05,839 Speaker 1: is it like, what is being done to take care 680 00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:08,200 Speaker 1: of it? And do you support groups that are in 681 00:37:08,239 --> 00:37:14,640 Speaker 1: recovery or even know about these groups? Interesting and vague question. Yes, 682 00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:18,040 Speaker 1: I wonder why that question came in. Can you even 683 00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:20,319 Speaker 1: speculate on why that question was written like that? 684 00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:27,200 Speaker 2: Yeah? I mean they're probably dealing with all those things. Yeah, 685 00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:31,680 Speaker 2: I've I've been vague about about it. People in my 686 00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:35,600 Speaker 2: family have struggled with addiction and have been, you know, 687 00:37:35,640 --> 00:37:38,120 Speaker 2: in and out of rehabs, in and out of incarceration. 688 00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:44,240 Speaker 2: Do I support programs, Yeah, I support programs that truly 689 00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:46,040 Speaker 2: help people, But I think I think a lot of 690 00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:48,960 Speaker 2: those programs lead you to find a higher power or 691 00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:51,480 Speaker 2: lead you to think you can do it all yourself, 692 00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:56,600 Speaker 2: and you can't. You can't do it without without Jesus. 693 00:37:57,160 --> 00:37:59,560 Speaker 2: And so I think these programs kind of help you 694 00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:01,279 Speaker 2: get on the right track, but then when you slip again, 695 00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:04,439 Speaker 2: you fall right back down into that deep, dark hole 696 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:08,280 Speaker 2: and you truly can do nothing apart from a relationship, 697 00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:10,440 Speaker 2: a true relationship with Christ, not some higher power, not 698 00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:15,360 Speaker 2: the universe, not yourself. It's only in the power of Jesus. Yeah, 699 00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:17,400 Speaker 2: And it's hard. It's hard when you go when you 700 00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:19,600 Speaker 2: have a family member stuck in addiction because you can't 701 00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:22,759 Speaker 2: help them, and there's a fine line of walking with 702 00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:26,359 Speaker 2: them and help and being there for them and not 703 00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:32,480 Speaker 2: enabling them. So right that we've walked through this, it's 704 00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:35,120 Speaker 2: it's tricky, it's hard, and you do need community around you. 705 00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:37,800 Speaker 2: So I don't know if that's something that that person 706 00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:38,719 Speaker 2: is writing in about. 707 00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:41,040 Speaker 1: I don't know why they're riding it, but I do 708 00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:44,160 Speaker 1: I'm going to say something very controversial. It's going to 709 00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:48,000 Speaker 1: get a lot of hate on this podcast, but I'll 710 00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:50,800 Speaker 1: just be I'll just say it. I am against AA 711 00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:56,560 Speaker 1: because of what they stand for, because they're they're they're 712 00:38:56,600 --> 00:39:00,320 Speaker 1: talking about seeking a higher power, all faiths seeking a 713 00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:05,080 Speaker 1: higher power. We know that no matter what faith you 714 00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:09,759 Speaker 1: come you come from. There is no faith of the 715 00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:14,239 Speaker 1: Abrahamic religions especially, there's no faith that says that all 716 00:39:14,239 --> 00:39:19,240 Speaker 1: faiths work. So that that's a problem in itself right away. 717 00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:23,839 Speaker 1: But what a what AA is hiding behind when they 718 00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:27,120 Speaker 1: say higher power is really, like you said, they are 719 00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:31,319 Speaker 1: hiding behind the need for you to fix yourself, for 720 00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:34,759 Speaker 1: you to find strength in yourself, to forgive yourself, to 721 00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:41,120 Speaker 1: build up yourself. And there are huge problems with it, 722 00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:45,960 Speaker 1: with the entire concept of trying to forgive yourself. It 723 00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:48,439 Speaker 1: doesn't exist, and it's ridiculous, and I've done I've done 724 00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:52,200 Speaker 1: a lot of speaking about this and it's it requires 725 00:39:52,239 --> 00:39:55,000 Speaker 1: an entire podcast just for itself. The idea of forgiving 726 00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:59,520 Speaker 1: yourself and people are People are typing right now, like typing, 727 00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:03,600 Speaker 1: you're wrong, you have to forget well. I could tell 728 00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:08,880 Speaker 1: you from experience, from suffering myself through extreme guilt and 729 00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:13,040 Speaker 1: shame of losing a son and being the responsible adult 730 00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:17,319 Speaker 1: supervising the loss of my son. I could I could 731 00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:23,960 Speaker 1: tell you firsthand that forgiving yourself pretty much it came 732 00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:31,520 Speaker 1: close to killing me. The attempt to forgive myself pretty 733 00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:34,040 Speaker 1: much would have killed me if I had, if I 734 00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:35,759 Speaker 1: had seen it all the way through. And I think 735 00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:39,360 Speaker 1: it continues to kill people through suicide because the world 736 00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:43,920 Speaker 1: tells them, including AA, that you just need to forgive yourself. 737 00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:46,879 Speaker 1: You need to And people are serious. People are mad 738 00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:48,880 Speaker 1: at me right now because I've seen it before. 739 00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:50,839 Speaker 2: These people will say that they've taked, that they've gone 740 00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:52,200 Speaker 2: through it and it works and helped them. 741 00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:54,960 Speaker 1: They'll say that I don't know the steps. I've never taught. 742 00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:59,000 Speaker 1: I have. I know the steps, and I know that 743 00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:05,000 Speaker 1: it inherents. Is that's wrong? 744 00:41:07,480 --> 00:41:08,640 Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, you. 745 00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:11,920 Speaker 1: Don't have to agree with me. You don't have to agree. 746 00:41:12,040 --> 00:41:14,680 Speaker 2: I've seen people that that have gone through it, and 747 00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:17,719 Speaker 2: you know, they get their coins and and and it is. 748 00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:21,680 Speaker 2: It is hopeful and positive and there are good steps 749 00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:23,720 Speaker 2: like asking, like reaching out to people that you've wronged 750 00:41:23,719 --> 00:41:25,920 Speaker 2: and asked for asking for forgiveness. There are good steps 751 00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:28,719 Speaker 2: and and I'm sure there are many people that it 752 00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:30,880 Speaker 2: has worked for, but I'm sure there are very for 753 00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:33,319 Speaker 2: there are many many more that it hasn't worked for. 754 00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:35,840 Speaker 2: I will tell you one thing that needs to change 755 00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:40,320 Speaker 2: is all of the treatment facilities, all of the places 756 00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:42,279 Speaker 2: for people to go when they're sick and fighting these 757 00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:47,120 Speaker 2: addictions are so expensive. No but no normal family can 758 00:41:47,560 --> 00:41:49,959 Speaker 2: can pay for these things. So I think it keeps 759 00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:53,000 Speaker 2: people stuck in this addiction because they're like, well, I 760 00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:54,200 Speaker 2: can't I can't afford this. 761 00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:58,160 Speaker 1: All of this is the is the root problem of 762 00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:05,480 Speaker 1: all of this is a failure of the proper administration 763 00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:12,839 Speaker 1: of a local church. This should be all taken care 764 00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:18,680 Speaker 1: of with the proper administration of a local church functioning 765 00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:22,880 Speaker 1: as it is supposed to function. But it doesn't for 766 00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:26,160 Speaker 1: the most part. And so because it doesn't, people need 767 00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:29,280 Speaker 1: to seek outside of the church for therapy and counseling 768 00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:33,719 Speaker 1: and retreats and alcoholics anonymous and anything else secular and 769 00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:36,000 Speaker 1: outside of the church to help them because the church 770 00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:43,200 Speaker 1: is failing and shepherding its flock, and the gospel is 771 00:42:43,239 --> 00:42:48,160 Speaker 1: what saves. I'm sorry if I have offended people, because 772 00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:51,640 Speaker 1: there's people that are like, hey, alcoholics, Anonymous saved my 773 00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:56,000 Speaker 1: dad or my husband or me or I know the 774 00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:59,000 Speaker 1: steps and I'm better and I'm fifteen years sober because 775 00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:02,640 Speaker 1: of it. I say, was it because of that or 776 00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:08,680 Speaker 1: something else? Something to think about. We'll leave it to that. 777 00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:12,000 Speaker 1: Love you, guys, We'll see you next Monday. Ye ye, 778 00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:16,000 Speaker 1: thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate 779 00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:18,239 Speaker 1: all of you guys. You could help me out by 780 00:43:18,320 --> 00:43:22,160 Speaker 1: rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe 781 00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:25,560 Speaker 1: to this channel, hit that little like button and notification 782 00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:29,480 Speaker 1: spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video. 783 00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:31,439 Speaker 1: If you have a question for me that you would 784 00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:37,200 Speaker 1: like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. 785 00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:37,720 Speaker 2: Yi