1 00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:06,680 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:15,400 Speaker 1: Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. 3 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:21,640 Speaker 1: Today's tip is to just aim for a few enjoyable moments. 4 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:25,200 Speaker 1: If you are in a situation that is likely to 5 00:00:25,239 --> 00:00:30,560 Speaker 1: be challenging, keeping your expectations low can keep you from 6 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:37,760 Speaker 1: telling yourself a story that everything is terrible. Every summer, 7 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:41,199 Speaker 1: I make a summer fun list. These are things I 8 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:44,320 Speaker 1: want to do to make summer feel like summer, to 9 00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:48,840 Speaker 1: create memories and enjoy the season. I knew we would 10 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:51,479 Speaker 1: be taking a family trip to the Virgin Islands this summer, 11 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:54,600 Speaker 1: which was going to be a big adventure, but traveling 12 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:59,720 Speaker 1: with a toddler in particular is always challenging, so I 13 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:02,880 Speaker 1: said that my goal was to have at least a 14 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:08,959 Speaker 1: few enjoyable moments. With that as the bar. We definitely passed. 15 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:14,200 Speaker 1: There were several genuinely enjoyable moments. There were also some 16 00:01:14,319 --> 00:01:17,280 Speaker 1: rough patches, and I am sorry if you happen to 17 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:19,800 Speaker 1: be sitting near me and my toddler on the flight 18 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:23,440 Speaker 1: from St. Thomas to Newark, and I particularly extend my 19 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:26,480 Speaker 1: apologies to the cleaning crew who had to deal with 20 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,880 Speaker 1: the bag of goldfish crackers that he dumped on the 21 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:33,520 Speaker 1: plane floor. If I was aiming for total bliss, being 22 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:35,840 Speaker 1: up with a toddler one night from two am to 23 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:39,240 Speaker 1: four am in my hotel room could leave me despondent. 24 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:45,480 Speaker 1: Here I am on vacation and I'm miserable. Life is 25 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:50,320 Speaker 1: horrible and terrible. But since I was just aiming for 26 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:54,640 Speaker 1: a few enjoyable moments, I could think about seeing fish 27 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:57,800 Speaker 1: through the clear bottom of a kayak one night, and 28 00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:00,920 Speaker 1: going on a sunset cruise one night, and seeing a 29 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:06,040 Speaker 1: giant turtle while snorkeling. The narrative need not be all 30 00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:12,880 Speaker 1: good or all bad. It's just life. I have learned 31 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:15,959 Speaker 1: that sort of stoicism over years of having little ones, 32 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:19,959 Speaker 1: but I realized that sharing that mindset might be helpful. 33 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:23,680 Speaker 1: When I blogged about my trip, our reader wrote that 34 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:27,079 Speaker 1: she had been very unhappy about her recent family vacation 35 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:31,160 Speaker 1: because of some rough spots, but when she saw that 36 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:34,519 Speaker 1: my goal had just been having a few enjoyable moments, 37 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:39,600 Speaker 1: it changed her perspective about the trip. Did her family 38 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:42,800 Speaker 1: have at least a few enjoyable moments in the course 39 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:47,880 Speaker 1: of their multi week road trip, Well, yes, yes they did. 40 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:52,560 Speaker 1: They also had some tough spots, of course, but neither 41 00:02:52,919 --> 00:02:57,000 Speaker 1: needed to define the narrative. If you are going into 42 00:02:57,040 --> 00:03:00,400 Speaker 1: a situation that is theoretically supposed to be one but 43 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:04,040 Speaker 1: might be challenging, it might help to set this as 44 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:08,800 Speaker 1: your goal too. Just aim for a few enjoyable moments. 45 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:13,200 Speaker 1: Maybe it's a family wedding. It's supposed to be fun, 46 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:16,919 Speaker 1: but it's quite possible that the airline will lose your luggage, 47 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:20,760 Speaker 1: and the bride's uncle will do something inappropriate, and your 48 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:23,680 Speaker 1: kid might start screaming in the middle of toast number seven. 49 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:27,680 Speaker 1: If you are not careful, these points of evidence can 50 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:30,280 Speaker 1: lead you to a story that the whole trip was 51 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:33,800 Speaker 1: a disaster. But if you aim for just a few 52 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:39,720 Speaker 1: enjoyable moments, you will probably succeed in seeing those. The 53 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:44,160 Speaker 1: cake was uncommonly good for a wedding cake, there was 54 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:48,440 Speaker 1: a beautiful sunset at the reception. You enjoyed talking to 55 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:51,840 Speaker 1: the bride's other uncle, the one who was not so terrible. 56 00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:59,480 Speaker 1: Those things happened too, and so all is fine in 57 00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:02,960 Speaker 1: any case. As we often say on this podcast, low 58 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:09,360 Speaker 1: expectations are easy to meet. Reality is what It is. 59 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:14,840 Speaker 1: Better to have low expectations and wildly exceed them than 60 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:20,800 Speaker 1: to hope for perfection and be constantly disappointed. We often 61 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:26,000 Speaker 1: can't change reality, but we can change our mindset and 62 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:32,520 Speaker 1: it really does make a difference in the meantime. This 63 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:36,960 Speaker 1: is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making the 64 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:47,160 Speaker 1: most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear 65 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,960 Speaker 1: from you. You can send me your tips, your questions, 66 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:53,800 Speaker 1: or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook 67 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:59,440 Speaker 1: and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod that's B the number four, 68 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:03,440 Speaker 1: then Breakfast p o D. You can also shoot me 69 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:07,839 Speaker 1: an email at Before Breakfast podcast at iHeartMedia dot com. 70 00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:10,360 Speaker 1: That Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters. 71 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,080 Speaker 1: Thanks so much, I look forward to staying in touch. 72 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:22,000 Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of I Heart Radio. For 73 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:25,159 Speaker 1: more podcasts from my heart Radio, visit the i heart 74 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:28,560 Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your 75 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:29,279 Speaker 1: favorite shows.