1 00:00:03,279 --> 00:00:09,240 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning. 2 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:14,280 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:17,080 Speaker 1: tip is a phrase I repeat to myself all the time. 4 00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:21,800 Speaker 1: Plan it in, do it anyway. I find I make 5 00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:24,040 Speaker 1: much better use of my time when I think beyond 6 00:00:24,079 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: how I feel right now, A better question when I 7 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:31,880 Speaker 1: think about how I spend my time looking back? Will 8 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:34,640 Speaker 1: I be happy I did this? Will I be happy 9 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:39,240 Speaker 1: with this memory? If so, my experiencing self just needs 10 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:43,360 Speaker 1: to get on board. That phrase experiencing self comes from 11 00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:48,280 Speaker 1: psychologist Daniel Kanneman's work. This Nobel Prize winning researcher noted 12 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:51,760 Speaker 1: that the self really has multiple identities. There's what we're 13 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:54,279 Speaker 1: going through right at this instant, the moment when you're 14 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:57,160 Speaker 1: listening to me tell you about this topic. But much 15 00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:00,720 Speaker 1: of our internal lives actually involve the remembering self, the 16 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:04,240 Speaker 1: keeper of our memories. You think back to your life 17 00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:06,440 Speaker 1: and the story of what brought you to this moment. 18 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:08,640 Speaker 1: I actually like to think about this in terms of 19 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:12,880 Speaker 1: three selves, the experiencing self and the remembering self, but 20 00:01:12,959 --> 00:01:16,800 Speaker 1: also the anticipating self. Another big chunk of our interior 21 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:20,720 Speaker 1: monologues consists of our plans, hopes, and anxieties about the future. 22 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:24,200 Speaker 1: You might be commuting on a rainy day, but you're 23 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:27,360 Speaker 1: thinking about that sunny beach vacation you have planned for August. 24 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:32,240 Speaker 1: Our brains have an amazing ability to time travel backwards 25 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:36,080 Speaker 1: and forwards. Here's why this matters as we think about 26 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:39,440 Speaker 1: how we spend our time. The present is actually an 27 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:44,000 Speaker 1: incredibly ephemeral moment. In his book The Principles of Psychology, 28 00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:48,480 Speaker 1: William James writes, where is it this present? It has 29 00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:51,480 Speaker 1: melted in our grasp, fled ere, We could touch it, 30 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:56,280 Speaker 1: gone in the instant of becoming. Back in William James's day, 31 00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:59,080 Speaker 1: there was a lot of strange experimental inquiry into the 32 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:03,240 Speaker 1: exact length of the present. Our senses can't distinguish between 33 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:05,840 Speaker 1: things that happen less than about a half second apart, 34 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:09,440 Speaker 1: and working memory is a maximum of about twelve seconds. 35 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:12,239 Speaker 1: So the length of the present must be somewhere in there, 36 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:14,960 Speaker 1: or at least that's what I gather from reading about 37 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:19,760 Speaker 1: these various experiments. So the present is fleeting. Almost all 38 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:23,640 Speaker 1: of life is lived by the anticipating and remembering selves. 39 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:28,120 Speaker 1: We can anticipate for years, we can remember for decades 40 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:32,680 Speaker 1: The challenge is that the present, the moment occupied by 41 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:36,840 Speaker 1: the experiencing self, has a disproportionate effect on our actions, 42 00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:42,600 Speaker 1: and frankly, the experiencing self is a little bit lazy. 43 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:45,440 Speaker 1: The remembering self will be thrilled to have gone on 44 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:48,080 Speaker 1: that early morning trail run so she can see the 45 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:52,880 Speaker 1: gorgeous sun rise over that nearby lake. The experiencing self, well, 46 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:56,000 Speaker 1: she's comfortable in bed, hitting snooze until the sun is 47 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:59,519 Speaker 1: high in the sky. The anticipating self thought it would 48 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:01,120 Speaker 1: be fun to go to an art museum on a 49 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:04,440 Speaker 1: Friday night when admission is free and there's a bar 50 00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:08,280 Speaker 1: and music, and the remembering self will fondly recall the 51 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:11,799 Speaker 1: masterpieces and chatting with new friends in line for a cocktail. 52 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:16,760 Speaker 1: But the experiencing self is tired after work. The experiencing 53 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:18,639 Speaker 1: self is the one who will have to brave the 54 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:21,840 Speaker 1: cold and the rain and the Friday night traffic. The 55 00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:24,600 Speaker 1: experiencing self is not happy about this split of labor, 56 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:29,959 Speaker 1: so she rebels. She ignores what the anticipating and remembering 57 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:33,280 Speaker 1: self want, and justifies this tantrum by pointing out that 58 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:36,160 Speaker 1: the museum will still be there next Friday, so she's 59 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:40,400 Speaker 1: just going to watch Netflix instead, immediate pleasure wins out 60 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:43,800 Speaker 1: over the more effortful sort. One of the best ways 61 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:47,560 Speaker 1: I've heard this phenomenon described is in philosopher Robert Gruden's 62 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:51,560 Speaker 1: book Time and the Art of Living. He says, we 63 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:56,240 Speaker 1: pamper the present like a spoiled child. We indulge its 64 00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:59,560 Speaker 1: whim to scroll through Instagram instead of living a life 65 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:03,240 Speaker 1: worth taking pictures about. So how do we keep the 66 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:08,080 Speaker 1: experiencing selfs tyranny in check? It isn't easy. People are 67 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:10,520 Speaker 1: bad at considering their future selves in general, which is 68 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:14,640 Speaker 1: why so few people invest properly for retirement. But that's 69 00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:18,160 Speaker 1: where my mantra comes in. Whenever I find myself listening 70 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:21,440 Speaker 1: too much to the experiencing self, I repeat my phrase, 71 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:27,000 Speaker 1: plan it in do it anyway. If my anticipating self 72 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:30,799 Speaker 1: really wanted to do something, my remembering self will probably 73 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:33,640 Speaker 1: be glad that I did it. I may be tired, 74 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:37,919 Speaker 1: but guess what, I'll always be tired, and we draw 75 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 1: energy from meaningful things. Furthermore, all time passes, whether I 76 00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:50,400 Speaker 1: do anything today or not. Eventually today will be gone, 77 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:54,640 Speaker 1: Tomorrow will be gone too. Time can be filled with 78 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:58,080 Speaker 1: what amounts to nothing, or it can be filled with 79 00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:01,760 Speaker 1: something more meaningful. So if you'd like to have time 80 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:06,960 Speaker 1: feel richer and more meaningful, plan in exciting things the 81 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 1: many adventures we've talked about in previous episodes, and some 82 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:13,960 Speaker 1: bigger adventures too. And then when you get to the 83 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:17,640 Speaker 1: moment and you are wavering because your couch seems inviting, 84 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:24,279 Speaker 1: repeat this phrase. Plan it in. Do it anyway. Your 85 00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:27,640 Speaker 1: remembering self will thank you. In fact, if you want 86 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:30,520 Speaker 1: to encourage this mindset in the future, take a moment 87 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:34,520 Speaker 1: right now to thank your past experiencing self for having 88 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:39,000 Speaker 1: done something difficult that you can now smile upon. I 89 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:41,359 Speaker 1: just spent some time looking through photos I took a 90 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:44,240 Speaker 1: few weeks ago of my kids at a botanical garden. 91 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:47,120 Speaker 1: They did not want to turn off their video games 92 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:49,960 Speaker 1: and get in the car. My experiencing self did not 93 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:53,000 Speaker 1: enjoy that battle. But all that is in the past. Now. 94 00:05:53,839 --> 00:05:57,520 Speaker 1: What is left are these images of sunshine and flowers 95 00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:01,080 Speaker 1: and children in a moment of childhood that will be 96 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:05,040 Speaker 1: gone before I know it. So what will you decide 97 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:08,919 Speaker 1: to do anyway today? Feel free to let me know 98 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:14,320 Speaker 1: at Before Breakfast podcast at iHeartMedia dot com. In the meantime, 99 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,960 Speaker 1: this is Laura, thanks for listening and here's to making 100 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:26,520 Speaker 1: the most of our time. Hey everybody, I'd love to 101 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:29,520 Speaker 1: hear from you. You can send me your tips, your questions, 102 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:33,400 Speaker 1: or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook 103 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:38,280 Speaker 1: and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod. That's b E the 104 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:43,000 Speaker 1: number four then Breakfast pod. You can also shoot me 105 00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:47,360 Speaker 1: an email at Before Breakfast podcast at iHeartMedia dot com 106 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,920 Speaker 1: that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters. 107 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:52,640 Speaker 1: Thanks so much. Should I look forward to staying in touch. 108 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:02,520 Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts 109 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:07,479 Speaker 1: from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever 110 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:11,280 Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.