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Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, it's Sophia. Welcome to Work in Progress. Hello,

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Speaker 1: and welcome back to work in progress friends. Today we

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Speaker 1: have a treat for you. A comedian that I love

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Speaker 1: is here to talk about the tour she just launched

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Speaker 1: and how she got here. It may or may not

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Speaker 1: involve a prank call, an absolute accident, and whying your

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Speaker 1: way to the top in a good way. Today's guest

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Speaker 1: is comedian, musician, and content creator Dney Hayes. She has

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Speaker 1: built a career out of fearless honesty, nostalgic Southern storytelling,

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Speaker 1: and characters that feel universally human and universally hilarious. She

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Speaker 1: is the kind of comedian that makes you laugh and

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Speaker 1: then will break your heart in the best way. What

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Speaker 1: I love about Denay is that underneath the pure comedy

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Speaker 1: of the parody country songs and those viral prank calls

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Speaker 1: and her wicked punchlines is a story that's really been

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Speaker 1: shaped by forging her own path. She came out at

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Speaker 1: nine years old. She grew up queer in a tiny

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Speaker 1: town in the South. She had to navigate faith and

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Speaker 1: family estrangement and figure out how to find her own

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Speaker 1: self acceptance. And now she does that on stage for

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Speaker 1: herself and also for audiences. The people who come to

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Speaker 1: see her shows span LGBTQ fans, conservative Southerners, and everybody

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Speaker 1: in between. And these days that might seem like an

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Speaker 1: unlikely coalition, but for Denay it's not. We're each other's neighbors,

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Speaker 1: and she holds her neighbors together with humor and empathy

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Speaker 1: and a frickin' hilarious sense of self. I can't wait

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Speaker 1: to chat with her about her buck Wild tour and

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Speaker 1: everything else that's going on in her life. Let's dive

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Speaker 1: in with Tonney. Well, Denay, welcome to the show. I'm

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Speaker 1: so excited you're here, and thank you for taking the

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Speaker 1: time with a new tour, popping and all the things

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Speaker 1: you have going on.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, Sophia, I'm so excited to be here.

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Speaker 2: Thank you for having me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm so amped. And I have to say. My

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Speaker 1: partner is such a big fan of you, and I'm

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Speaker 1: supposed to tell you hello. I mean I am too, obviously,

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Speaker 1: but I was. I had specific instructions.

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Speaker 3: Girl. As a former athlete, Ashlynn is the pinnacle like

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Speaker 3: an Please tell her. I said that her swag is unmatched.

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Speaker 1: It's so crazy. Isn't it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's me and my girlfriend Jim. I was like,

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Speaker 2: I feel like I need an entire new wardrobe this year,

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Speaker 2: Like I'm so sick of wearing the same stuff. And

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Speaker 2: she was like, well, go to Ashlan's page and like

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Speaker 2: look at her stuff.

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Speaker 3: And I'm like, oh my god, that's sweet.

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Speaker 1: Angel.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, you're trying to tell me something.

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Speaker 1: Also, just come hang out, let's go, let's go thrifting.

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Speaker 1: I got her like so into vintage and now she's

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Speaker 1: obsessed and is way better at it than me, which

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Speaker 1: I'm only like marginally butt hurt by, you.

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Speaker 3: Know, drifting.

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Speaker 2: For me, growing up in a twelve hundred person town

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Speaker 2: in Alabama, thrifting.

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Speaker 3: Was going to the goodwill and buying like fifty C

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Speaker 3: T shirt.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what's going on in Nashville, but I

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Speaker 2: was too embarrassed to take this shirt back. So I

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Speaker 2: go to the counter at this vintage thrift store and

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Speaker 2: it's a Kenny Rodgers nineteen seventies tour shirt and it's

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Speaker 2: got a space on it.

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Speaker 1: Oh hundreds of dollars.

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Speaker 3: I was like, I have to have this. In my mind,

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Speaker 3: I'm thinking, all right, if it's anything more than twenty

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Speaker 3: five bucks, I'll just put it back, and the lady

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Speaker 3: I get up to the front, she was like, oh

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Speaker 3: my god, I'm a huge fan. And I was like, oh,

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Speaker 3: thank you so.

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Speaker 2: Much, like, oh, that'll be one fifty and I was like, fuck, you're.

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Speaker 1: You're like, oh, okay, it's not what I thought. It

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Speaker 1: was that I get got sometimes too, especially loving vintage,

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Speaker 1: because like I'll pick something up that's nineteen dollars and

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Speaker 1: I'm so excited, and then the next thing I pick up,

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Speaker 1: they're like, oh, this is a rare blah blah with

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Speaker 1: a such and such a no whatever, and it's like

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Speaker 1: thousands of dollars and I'm like, I don't think I

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Speaker 1: understand what's going on here. But cool, yeah, same, No,

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Speaker 1: it's crazy.

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Speaker 3: I'm glad we're not doing you know, fast fast fashion,

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Speaker 3: but like at the same time, like you know, in

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Speaker 3: nineteen seventies T shirt, I shouldn't be paying three times

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Speaker 3: as much. So I learned the lesson on that. Back

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Speaker 3: to the Goodwill, I go.

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Speaker 1: You always got to check, you always got to check.

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Speaker 3: Okay.

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Speaker 1: Well, it's interesting because like that is a story from

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Speaker 1: your childhood. You talk about how you used to be

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Speaker 1: an athlete. I always like to ask people who come

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Speaker 1: on the show to really take me back, because you know,

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Speaker 1: people are coming to see you on tour, people follow

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Speaker 1: you online, they know you, they've known you for a

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Speaker 1: while in your persona, in your career. But I'm always

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Speaker 1: really curious if you could go back in time and

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Speaker 1: like meet your younger self on the playground at eight

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Speaker 1: or nine or ten years old, do you feel like

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Speaker 1: you would see parts of yourself in her? In that

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Speaker 1: little girl?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I am so much ten twelve, fourteen year

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Speaker 2: old Tonay. I think that's something that I've really tried

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Speaker 2: to just nurture, as you know, as life goes down

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Speaker 2: this train track of what was it at twelve years

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Speaker 2: old that made me happy? Like what were the things

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Speaker 2: that brought me joy? And my dad always reiterated.

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Speaker 3: That to me as a kid.

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Speaker 2: He would say, Tonay, You've always been a very joyful,

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Speaker 2: simple person. It's never taken much to make you happy.

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Speaker 2: And he said, as you get into the entertainment world,

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Speaker 2: I just want to, you know, always keep that at

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Speaker 2: the at the forefront of your brain, is that who

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Speaker 2: you are is very simple, and it's the things like

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Speaker 2: waking up in the morning and enjoying a you know,

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Speaker 2: a really tasty cup of coffee that brings joy to you.

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Speaker 2: He's like, just don't, don't get caught up in so

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Speaker 2: much of you know, the needs and wants that really

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Speaker 2: aren't the actual needs and once for your joy. So

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Speaker 2: I think I think I've done a good job of

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Speaker 2: staying true to who I am as a kid. But

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Speaker 2: I think I'm a lot more accepting of myself and

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Speaker 2: a lot more just free. You know, I growing up

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Speaker 2: in a small town in Alabama. You know, I think

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Speaker 2: we've gotten a lot better. But there were times as

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Speaker 2: a kid where you know, I express my sexuality, express

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Speaker 2: things that I wanted to do, and it was outside

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Speaker 2: of the box.

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Speaker 3: It was not normal.

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Speaker 2: And so I think, you know, the one thing I

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Speaker 2: wouldn't be able to see myself in is that I

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Speaker 2: fully expect who I am and I've embraced who I am.

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Speaker 1: That's so cool, do you I feel like I know

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Speaker 1: so many women that you know are good friends of

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Speaker 1: mine and kind of women in our career peer group

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Speaker 1: that are all figuring out how to get back to

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Speaker 1: parts of their childhood selves, you know, in their present

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Speaker 1: well therapized like kinder to themselves women. Do do you

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Speaker 1: feel like there are aspects of younger you that you

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Speaker 1: reference that you've kind of reclaimed as you've evolved, or

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Speaker 1: do you think you've evolved because you've tried to hold

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Speaker 1: onto those parts of yourself Or maybe it's a mix

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Speaker 1: of both.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think for sure a mix of both. You know,

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Speaker 2: the arts were not really celebrated where I come from.

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Speaker 2: It was very much sports, which is why I dove

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Speaker 2: into softball, and then I later when you played softball

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Speaker 2: at one of the best schools like College Sophile at,

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Speaker 2: which was University Alabama. We won a national championship there.

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Speaker 2: So I did the best I could in sports. But

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Speaker 2: at a young age, I was always the weird kid

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Speaker 2: that wanted to make sketches and skits and I wanted

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Speaker 2: all of my kids, all of my classmates to play

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Speaker 2: all these characters with me, and nobody really had that

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Speaker 2: same desire to do that.

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Speaker 3: I think they're probably like Mannay's, really lonely, like then they's.

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Speaker 2: And my dad bought me a camcorder when I was

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Speaker 2: Kim probably had like some nineteen eighties family porn on

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Speaker 2: it from a good will that he picked up, and

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Speaker 2: he brought it home and he was like, like, we're

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Speaker 2: just going to tape over this.

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Speaker 3: Don't worry about it, just just tape right over that.

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Speaker 2: He was like, today, I want you to start filming

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Speaker 2: yourself and making all these sketches.

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Speaker 3: And so I think for me, just like getting back

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Speaker 3: to that childlike.

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Speaker 2: Spirit of creating without shame or fear of embarrassment or

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Speaker 2: fear of failure, that's something that I think is always

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Speaker 2: Maybe it went away for a little while, but I've

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Speaker 2: gotten back to that. So like, when I get ready

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Speaker 2: to post a video that I know is out there

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Speaker 2: it might be a little bizarre to some I just

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Speaker 2: remind myself that ten year old and they will enjoy

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Speaker 2: making this. So who cares what anybody else you know

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Speaker 2: says about it. If it brings you joy, that's really

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Speaker 2: what matters at the end the day. And it's so cliche,

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Speaker 2: but I think we get away from that so many times.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really interesting because it's not easy to do

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Speaker 1: those things right. It's like, it's not easy to go

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Speaker 1: against the grain. It's not easy to feel like the

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Speaker 1: thing that brings you joy is gonna put you in

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Speaker 1: the odd man out position. But you've also talked a

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Speaker 1: lot about coming out at nine, and so when you

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Speaker 1: talk about like, oh, ten year old me you would

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Speaker 1: love this, it strikes me as so incredible that in

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Speaker 1: small town Alabama you did that. Like, what do you

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Speaker 1: remember most about that moment? Do you think do you

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Speaker 1: think you were young enough that you weren't really afraid

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Speaker 1: to say it yet?

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Speaker 3: Well, my coming out story there's kind of like different

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Speaker 3: steps to it. You know.

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Speaker 2: When I when I was nine, i'd come home from

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Speaker 2: I think it was maybe second grade, if that's how

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Speaker 2: old you were in the second grade, and I looked

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Speaker 2: at my parents and we're on the sixth generation of

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Speaker 2: Hayes to be born and raised in like eleven hundred

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Speaker 2: twelvehund person town, so like.

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Speaker 3: We were born there, we lived there, and we die there.

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Speaker 2: So a lot of things are very much ingrained from

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Speaker 2: hundreds of years ago. But I'd come home and I

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Speaker 2: was like, you know, I think there's something wrong with me.

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Speaker 2: And my parents were like this, there's nothing wrong with you.

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Speaker 2: We talked about I was, well, I've noticed that all

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Speaker 2: the guys in my class like all the girls and

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Speaker 2: all like all the guys, but I think the girls

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Speaker 2: are really cute and that was the first time I

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Speaker 2: vocalized that feeling. I didn't know what the word gay there.

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Speaker 2: You know, we didn't seen any gay characters on TV.

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Speaker 2: We definitely didn't say the word gay where I was from.

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Speaker 3: So my parents, you know, I hold a lot of

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Speaker 3: grace and empathy for my parents.

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Speaker 2: I know that's not the case for a lot of people.

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Speaker 2: I truly believe that my parents loved me unconditionally and

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Speaker 2: they wanted to protect me. I think in their minds

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Speaker 2: they were trying to protect me because they knew that

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Speaker 2: I would get bullied at school, that'd.

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Speaker 3: Be the only openly gay person.

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Speaker 2: And so, you know, we had a lot of private

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Speaker 2: conversations of like, let's have that conversation when you get older.

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Speaker 2: Let's not worry about that right now. Let's focus on

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Speaker 2: just you being a kid and having fun. And I

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Speaker 2: didn't really bring it up. They did take me to

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Speaker 2: a counselor that at the time, it wasn't labeled as

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Speaker 2: conversion therapy, like it wasn't we're taking you to a

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Speaker 2: conversion therapist.

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Speaker 3: They were taking me to a therapist for a lot

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Speaker 3: of different reasons.

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Speaker 2: For I had developed obsessive compulsive disorder because of the

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Speaker 2: amount of anxiety I had from internal shame and doubt

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Speaker 2: and fear of why I was different than my classmates.

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Speaker 2: And then that therapist was a super religious Christian therapist,

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Speaker 2: and he took it upon himself without permission from my parents,

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Speaker 2: to start having conversations with me about how it's not

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Speaker 2: a sin to think about robbing the bank.

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Speaker 3: It's just a sin to go out and rob the bank.

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Speaker 3: I know, I know it was.

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Speaker 2: And that was all around the ages of ten and eleven,

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Speaker 2: and so I was absorbing everything, you know. So I

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Speaker 2: developed a lot of internal shame, a lot of like

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Speaker 2: religious trauma without even knowing that I was experiencing religious trauma.

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Speaker 2: But I was connecting the dots that Jesus doesn't love

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Speaker 2: me if I am this way, yep. And then I

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Speaker 2: fully came out at twenty four after I realized, you know,

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Speaker 2: like I'm tired of dressing like Morgan Wallin and trying

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Speaker 2: to get a boyfriend, like this isn't working, you know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So it turns out, yeah, I just I am.

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Speaker 3: Turns out I'm just gay, you know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, turns out I'm a homosexual. Moment dad, And

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Speaker 2: so than that, that was more of like my traditional

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Speaker 2: quote unquote coming out story, but it kind of had

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Speaker 2: multiple layers too before it got to that point.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll be back in just a minute. But here's

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Speaker 1: a word from our sponsors. It's really interesting, you know,

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Speaker 1: the way you talk about the experience in your younger

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Speaker 1: years with your parents, it feels really tender, not necessarily

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Speaker 1: how it felt in the moment, but the way you

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Speaker 1: speak about it, to have tenderness for people's humanity and

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Speaker 1: their anxiety and by the way, for the fear they

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Speaker 1: rightfully felt, because look what happened to you in counseling.

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Speaker 1: You know, it is hard to be different in a

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Speaker 1: society that predicates so much of its systems on people

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Speaker 1: fitting the system, and it kind of fascinates me, Like,

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Speaker 1: to be young enough to not have the language is

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Speaker 1: really interesting because you know, you see all this stuff,

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Speaker 1: like you've got all these people who I would imagine

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Speaker 1: think like you're first terrible therapist that are like, you

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Speaker 1: can't read books about gay penguins to kids. What do

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Speaker 1: you mean there's two dad penguins And it's like, you guys,

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Speaker 1: don't think it all about the fact that the only

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Speaker 1: messaging they ever have is about the Prince and the

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Speaker 1: Prince Us and the rescue and she's a damsel in

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Speaker 1: distress and she's supposed to be in love with this guy.

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Speaker 1: And like no movie or book you saw as a

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Speaker 1: kid made you straight, Just like no movie or book

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Speaker 1: you could have seen as a kid would have made

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Speaker 1: any of your classmates gay. It just could have given

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Speaker 1: you the language and the representation that everybody else just

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Speaker 1: has by default.

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Speaker 2: Well, the funniest part of this school conversation is like,

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Speaker 2: I remember being in middle school watching One Treehel and

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Speaker 2: I had the this is this might be awkward funny

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Speaker 2: at the same time, but I had the biggest crush

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Speaker 2: on your character.

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Speaker 1: Oh I love this money.

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Speaker 3: I can remember being in middle school being like like

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Speaker 3: having a crush on your character, and at the same time,

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Speaker 3: there was no gay like gay representation really going on

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Speaker 3: at that time. So it's not like it made me

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Speaker 3: straight that none of the characters were gay, right, you know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it didn't make you straight that all your classmates

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Speaker 1: were ended like Nathan or Lucas. You were just like

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Speaker 1: Brooke Davis is my bad bitch, bye, right?

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Speaker 3: I mean I was I was so much.

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Speaker 2: More like like the guys like I wanted to like

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Speaker 2: race them and pee. I wanted to like see to

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Speaker 2: eat more chicken nuggets at at lunchtime. You know, while

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Speaker 2: the other girls are like I just got the cutest

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Speaker 2: mac kinceeler and like they're trying it on at the

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Speaker 2: lunch table, I'm over there scarkling down thirty five chicken nuggets.

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Speaker 1: Yep.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, it's same. There was just no way that

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Speaker 3: you know, uh, straight characters on TV you're going to

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Speaker 3: make gay people straight, and gay characters are going to

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Speaker 3: make yeah straight. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So I'm having a different experience suddenly in this group

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Speaker 1: of women in my life, they're all getting divorced. Like

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Speaker 1: something's really shifting for me. And I remember my mom

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Speaker 1: having this moment because the interesting thing is like I

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Speaker 1: grew up in la in the eighties, Like my dad's

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Speaker 1: an artist. I grew up everybody, at least half my parents'

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Speaker 1: friends were in our gay and my mom was like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, did our whole half our community most

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Speaker 1: of our community is gay? But but did we not

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Speaker 1: raise you around enough lesbians? Did you did you just

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Speaker 1: not see yourself? And there was a very interesting kind

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Speaker 1: of like self interrogation I had to do as an

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Speaker 1: adult woman who has been going to Pride marches since

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Speaker 1: I was five years old, who has been on like

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Speaker 1: the frontlines of fights for our community's equality, who has

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Speaker 1: been like an out and prowed ally forever, who was

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Speaker 1: always like I don't know, I'm like pretty by I

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Speaker 1: don't know, to be like you know, but then to

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Speaker 1: say like why I just get asked out by more men,

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Speaker 1: like I don't know, I don't know a lot of

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Speaker 1: lesbians that are like my type, and then eventually to

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Speaker 1: be like, oh do I wait? And my girlfriend Rory

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Speaker 1: was the one who was like, ah, I think like

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Speaker 1: ding dong, I don't think you're like fluid. I think

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Speaker 1: you actually really dislike men. And I think I think

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Speaker 1: you're like pretty deeply gay. And I was like, wait

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Speaker 1: a second, do I think I'm like in the middle

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Speaker 1: of the spectrum because heteronormativity is that powerful and it's

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Speaker 1: kind of a Chicken or the Egg conversation for me,

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Speaker 1: like I don't fucking know. But what I know is

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Speaker 1: like my parents spent time with my partner for the

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Speaker 1: first time, and my dad like sidled up to me

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Speaker 1: in the kitchen and goes, well, now I know I've

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Speaker 1: hated every fucking boyfriend you've ever introduced me to. And

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Speaker 1: I was like, okay, Charles, calm down, Like it was

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Speaker 1: so sweet. And you know, one of my mom's friends

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Speaker 1: calls her up. I'm sure you went through this with

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Speaker 1: your family, and oh, well, this, this just can't be true.

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Speaker 1: I mean, your daughter's not gay, and my mom goes,

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Speaker 1: she's pretty gay and she's really happy, right, And it's like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe I didn't see enough lesbians either.

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Speaker 1: We have that in common.

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Speaker 3: I had the uh after my divorce. I got divorced

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Speaker 3: a year and a half ago.

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, it's freshy it is?

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Speaker 3: It is fresh.

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Speaker 1: Well, I hope you're okay.

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Speaker 3: I'm doing much better. Thank you so much.

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Speaker 1: Okay, good It's tough. I wouldn't wish it on anyone,

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Speaker 1: let alone. And I'm like, oh my god.

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Speaker 3: I was literally about to say it's the poetic factor

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Speaker 3: that just kind of like sends it over the edge.

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Speaker 3: But when I did get divorced, you.

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Speaker 2: Know, I've known I was as gay as at two

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Speaker 2: dollar bills since I was eight.

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Speaker 4: And.

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Speaker 3: I started having weird feelings for this guy, and I

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Speaker 3: was like, oh my gosh, did this divorce like mess

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Speaker 3: me up straight, like am I am? I straight? Now?

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Speaker 2: And then it got really confusing because I was like,

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Speaker 2: all the guys are wondering if I'm straight, and then

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Speaker 2: I have all the girls wondering if they're gay.

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Speaker 3: Like it was a very weird. It was a weird

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Speaker 3: time in my life.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I had straight women hitting all me and sliding into

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Speaker 3: my bumsah, and they were like, you make me feel

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Speaker 3: something I never felt before. And then guys being like, wait,

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Speaker 3: are you straight? And I'm like I don't, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Anyways, it was the first time in my life where

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Speaker 2: I had looked at a man and I was like,

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Speaker 2: that might work. And then then he told me he

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Speaker 2: believed in Bigfoot and I said I'm out.

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Speaker 1: He said that lasted for zero point sixteen seconds, thank you.

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Speaker 3: I was like I'm done.

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Speaker 2: Like if this is what you know all straight married

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Speaker 2: women have to deal with, like God, bless y'all. But

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Speaker 2: he went on an hour long tangent about Bigfoot, and

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Speaker 2: that was when I was like.

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Speaker 3: No, and they listen to your gut, this is not right.

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Speaker 1: Not it just not it. Oh dear, well, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I I don't know what it is. I think What

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Speaker 1: a great gift to be willing to give yourself a

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Speaker 1: fresh start, you know, whether that's figuring out you know

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Speaker 1: where you land in terms of your sexuality, whether it's

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Speaker 1: on a spectrum or not, where you land in terms

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Speaker 1: of what you want, and giving yourself the permission to

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Speaker 1: change your mind. And I think there's real bravery in

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Speaker 1: like the day you say, this is going to be

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Speaker 1: really hard, and it's going to be way worse because

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Speaker 1: my entire internet is going to be paying attention, But like,

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Speaker 1: I want to be happier, so I'm going to go

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Speaker 1: I'm going to go ahead and course correct.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that was you hit the nail on the head

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Speaker 2: that I would say. The last two years of my marriage,

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Speaker 2: I just knew I was staying because I was afraid

400
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Speaker 2: of the public scrutiny that would come with it.

401
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Speaker 3: And you know, something really traumatic.

402
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Speaker 2: Happened towards the end of the relationship where I felt

403
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Speaker 2: like it was a wake up call from God.

404
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Speaker 3: That was just like, I don't know how much more clear.

405
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Speaker 2: I can be that if you say you're going to

406
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Speaker 2: lose that that internal joy that you have, and I

407
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:14,720
Speaker 2: had already lost so much of it, and I just

408
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:16,680
Speaker 2: felt like a shell of the person.

409
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Speaker 3: That I was, But I had.

410
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Speaker 2: Done this thing where we had built so much of

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Speaker 2: a persona and a life on social.

412
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Speaker 3: Media as a couple. And you know, I'm now.

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Speaker 2: Understanding how crazy para social relationships can actually be for people. Yeah,

414
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Speaker 2: Like it's it's they feel so connected, you know, and

415
00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:41,080
Speaker 2: that's a beautiful thing, but also it can be a

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Speaker 2: very dangerous thing, especially when they don't understand the full

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Speaker 2: spectrum of what the relationship is.

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Speaker 1: Do you feel like, obviously it was painful, and obviously

419
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Speaker 1: you know you're doing the therapy side, but you also

420
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Speaker 1: get to turn so many things into humor, and it

421
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:03,399
Speaker 1: really feels like laughter is an equalizer, Like it is,

422
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Speaker 1: as they say, the best medicine you know, has your

423
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:13,040
Speaker 1: humor has has your comedy kind of helped you get

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Speaker 1: through that bit and find your happiness again. And I

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Speaker 1: don't just mean in your work, but like for you

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Speaker 1: as an individual person in your life.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, you know, I filed for divorce and then two

428
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Speaker 2: weeks later I had to go on my first ever

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Speaker 2: comedy tour and make people laugh every weekend.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god.

431
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Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like that might be stage one of purgatory.

432
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Speaker 2: I'm not sure, but that might look like what hell

433
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:40,720
Speaker 2: should be like. So that kind of felt like dance

434
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Speaker 2: monkey dance on the stage where you know. My first

435
00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:49,399
Speaker 2: show back was was in Tampa, in Tampa, Florida, in

436
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Speaker 2: front of like twelve or thirteen hundred people, And when

437
00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:55,120
Speaker 2: I first walked out on stage, I could just feel

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Speaker 2: my legs shaking because it was like the elephant in

439
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:03,240
Speaker 2: the room. Is she gonna address Is she going to

440
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:05,439
Speaker 2: address what just happened two weeks ago? Or is she

441
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:09,359
Speaker 2: just gonna compartmentalize and act like none of this actually

442
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:09,840
Speaker 2: went down?

443
00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:11,000
Speaker 3: And I did the ladder.

444
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,680
Speaker 2: I chose to separate my work from my personal life

445
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:16,679
Speaker 2: because I meet, like you said, I needed an outlet.

446
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:17,760
Speaker 3: I needed a place to heal.

447
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:21,959
Speaker 2: And now I looked at that tour, it was thirty

448
00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:24,679
Speaker 2: I want to say me, thirty six show dates. It

449
00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:27,680
Speaker 2: was thirty six opportunities for me to prove to myself

450
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:31,640
Speaker 2: that my God given gift is is comedy.

451
00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:34,520
Speaker 3: And it was a thing that.

452
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:37,760
Speaker 2: Brought me into a really good time and it was

453
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:40,000
Speaker 2: a thing that brought me out of a really bad time.

454
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:44,919
Speaker 2: So it was very it was very viewing, but the

455
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:48,200
Speaker 2: first couple of shows were very disorienting because I just was.

456
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:52,840
Speaker 3: Like this, they're all they're all waiting. It's just they're

457
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:55,840
Speaker 3: all waiting to know what I'm going to say. And yeah,

458
00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:58,720
Speaker 3: that was hard, Sophia, that was that was really hard.

459
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:03,159
Speaker 1: I get it. But you know what, now that I

460
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:06,159
Speaker 1: know everything about you for the last twenty eight minutes,

461
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:11,520
Speaker 1: now seriously like what touches me so deeply about it

462
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:14,200
Speaker 1: and like having been through my own version of it

463
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:17,320
Speaker 1: is what I hear you saying is that you cared

464
00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:20,600
Speaker 1: about yourself enough to give yourself the time to figure

465
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:23,800
Speaker 1: out what you wanted to say, not what other people

466
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:25,040
Speaker 1: wanted to hear you say.

467
00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:28,000
Speaker 2: Thank you for saying that, because that is something I'm

468
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:29,080
Speaker 2: very passionate about.

469
00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:31,400
Speaker 3: I had people that.

470
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:37,080
Speaker 2: Are in business and I had people that were friends that,

471
00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:39,639
Speaker 2: without coming out and just wording it this way, they're like,

472
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:43,360
Speaker 2: you should capitalize on your divorce. Share your story. It's

473
00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:45,800
Speaker 2: so powerful. It's going to change people's lives. It's going

474
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:47,680
Speaker 2: to get it out of a dark time. They had

475
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:50,320
Speaker 2: no idea what you were dealing with behind closed doors.

476
00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:53,239
Speaker 2: I bet if you share it today, you'd wake up

477
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:58,320
Speaker 2: with a million more followers tomorrow. And human, I'm human

478
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,520
Speaker 2: it was tempting. It was like, yeah, I know that

479
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:04,480
Speaker 2: my story is powerful. I know that there's things that

480
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:07,800
Speaker 2: are going to be earth shattering when people hear about

481
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:13,800
Speaker 2: my story. But I didn't want to share hurt without

482
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:14,680
Speaker 2: sharing hope.

483
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:15,800
Speaker 3: I needed.

484
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:18,560
Speaker 2: I needed to have some hope at the end of it.

485
00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:22,160
Speaker 2: So I decided that I'm not just going to share

486
00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:23,960
Speaker 2: the hurt. I'm not just going to share the tragedy.

487
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:26,360
Speaker 2: I'm going to also when the time is right, I'm

488
00:26:26,359 --> 00:26:28,280
Speaker 2: going to use it as a way when I'm healed,

489
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:31,960
Speaker 2: that somebody can listen to my story and can offer

490
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:33,480
Speaker 2: some sort of insight of.

491
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:36,159
Speaker 3: How they can get out of a bad situation.

492
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:40,040
Speaker 2: And so that was really tempting, and it taught me

493
00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:42,880
Speaker 2: a lot about who to keep in your in your

494
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:48,080
Speaker 2: inner circle, because some people they don't understand the magnitude

495
00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:50,800
Speaker 2: of mental health that comes with sharing something like that.

496
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:53,960
Speaker 2: And so I was like, I'm not ready for that.

497
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:55,840
Speaker 2: I can't go out and make people laugh every weekend

498
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:56,520
Speaker 2: while also.

499
00:26:56,440 --> 00:27:00,320
Speaker 3: Having them look at me as as broken. So time

500
00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:03,520
Speaker 3: will the time will come. But I'm really I don't

501
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:06,080
Speaker 3: I don't say that's awesome about myself to that. I

502
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:07,560
Speaker 3: probably have some work to do in therapy.

503
00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:09,879
Speaker 2: But I am very proud of myself for how I

504
00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:13,080
Speaker 2: handled that because I was tempting to go in a

505
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:13,760
Speaker 2: different direction.

506
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:19,080
Speaker 1: Oh, I get it. And especially for somebody like you,

507
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:24,199
Speaker 1: who like you, you already are setting examples for people,

508
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:30,120
Speaker 1: like you've built this fan base that yes is you've

509
00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:32,399
Speaker 1: got a big lgbt Q audience, but you have a

510
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:36,200
Speaker 1: big Southern audience. You have a big conservative Southern audience.

511
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:42,040
Speaker 1: Like you're you're bridging the gaps we need to be bridging.

512
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:46,680
Speaker 1: And like for you to have this experience in in

513
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:49,919
Speaker 1: that big melting pot of the people you get to

514
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:53,640
Speaker 1: talk to, I think is really a big fucking deal.

515
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:56,879
Speaker 2: That's that is my pride and joy right there is

516
00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,480
Speaker 2: uh yeah, is when I'm when I'm on stage and

517
00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:02,320
Speaker 2: I look out and I can see a good old

518
00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:06,040
Speaker 2: boy from you know, southern Kentucky with his wife and

519
00:28:06,119 --> 00:28:07,960
Speaker 2: he's got a blaid shirt on tucked in and some

520
00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:11,280
Speaker 2: wranglers and some boots, and then right next to him

521
00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:13,639
Speaker 2: is two six year old lesbians.

522
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:14,639
Speaker 3: That have been married for forty years.

523
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:18,920
Speaker 2: And I'm like, that's the audience I want, because that's

524
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:20,280
Speaker 2: that's the type of person I am.

525
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:23,479
Speaker 3: I welcome everybody at my table.

526
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:26,840
Speaker 2: And you know it's I always joke and say that

527
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:29,480
Speaker 2: that my show is like it's the show for the.

528
00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:31,159
Speaker 3: Good old boys and the gays. You don't know if

529
00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:35,480
Speaker 3: it's sponsored by the NRA or GLAD, and it's just

530
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:36,760
Speaker 3: a it's a melting pot.

531
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:41,080
Speaker 2: And I hope that when people leave my shows that

532
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:44,200
Speaker 2: I think, because I've struggled with my sexuality for so long,

533
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:46,760
Speaker 2: I've always I've always identified as gay to nay like,

534
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:49,840
Speaker 2: it's always been the thing that has has been such

535
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:52,680
Speaker 2: a divisive thing for me in relationships in my life,

536
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:55,720
Speaker 2: whether that be with me and my mom, or me

537
00:28:56,160 --> 00:29:00,440
Speaker 2: and a classmate, or me and Jesus Like, it's always

538
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:03,000
Speaker 2: felt like the word gay was the one thing that

539
00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:06,120
Speaker 2: kept me from always having an intimate relationship with somebody.

540
00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:09,840
Speaker 2: And so I think, I know there's a thousand ways

541
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:14,080
Speaker 2: to cut the pie for me. I try my best

542
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:18,520
Speaker 2: to make my brand, if you will, or my personality

543
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:24,360
Speaker 2: just denay I want because I want somebody like that

544
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:26,400
Speaker 2: good old boy from Kentucky. I want him to come

545
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:28,640
Speaker 2: to my show and maybe his wife brought him there.

546
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:31,920
Speaker 2: He doesn't really know who I am, and I get

547
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:33,840
Speaker 2: into you know, a ten minute long bit in my

548
00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:35,960
Speaker 2: show about what it was like coming out growing up

549
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:39,520
Speaker 2: in Alabama, and that's the first time he realizes, oh,

550
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:43,360
Speaker 2: this is a gay comment, but he loved He loves

551
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:46,160
Speaker 2: what I'm doing, and that becomes kind of an afterthought

552
00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:47,560
Speaker 2: for him.

553
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:49,960
Speaker 3: So I do get a lot of pushback. Funny enough

554
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:50,200
Speaker 3: for that.

555
00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:53,040
Speaker 2: I've seen some stuff where I get pushback for that

556
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:55,320
Speaker 2: on social media. People want me to be more of

557
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:58,600
Speaker 2: an ally, and I'm like, there's so many ways to

558
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:00,720
Speaker 2: be an ally. For me, I've strugg with this. I've

559
00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:03,320
Speaker 2: taken a conversion therapy. I lost my relationship with my

560
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:05,440
Speaker 2: mom for seven years and now we've rekindled.

561
00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:07,120
Speaker 3: It's called so much hurt.

562
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:10,000
Speaker 2: So for me, my way of being an ally is

563
00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:13,840
Speaker 2: to show somebody that maybe gay is the fourth or

564
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:16,520
Speaker 2: fifth adjective they use for me and not the first

565
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:20,239
Speaker 2: one anymore. I just want to show that ten year

566
00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:22,680
Speaker 2: old that is growing up in a little bitty town

567
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:26,360
Speaker 2: in Alabama that even though other people have tried to

568
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:30,680
Speaker 2: make that your only personality trait or your only thing

569
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:34,120
Speaker 2: that people know you for, it actually can be a

570
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:36,680
Speaker 2: little bit further down from the top than the top thing.

571
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:37,000
Speaker 3: You know.

572
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:43,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, because straight people don't. Their entire existence isn't

573
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:47,560
Speaker 1: defined by their streetness, right, It's like it's not even

574
00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:51,480
Speaker 1: a conversation piece. And so it's a really interesting duality.

575
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:55,880
Speaker 1: Like your whole world is shaped and I think enriched

576
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:59,360
Speaker 1: by queerness, and you don't want that to be people's

577
00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:04,000
Speaker 1: only focus. And I would actually say, like, look, everybody

578
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:09,120
Speaker 1: has an opinion about everything, and everybody's entitled to their opinion.

579
00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:12,840
Speaker 1: And I get, especially in this landscape, why people feel

580
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:19,240
Speaker 1: very hurt by folks that aren't inclusive. I would also

581
00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:23,520
Speaker 1: suggest that, like one of the most important things for

582
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:27,840
Speaker 1: us to do is like, yeah, maybe you know somebody

583
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:30,600
Speaker 1: who's laughing at what's going on in our country today,

584
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:35,680
Speaker 1: or or somebody who thinks people like us don't deserve

585
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:38,480
Speaker 1: to exist, or families like ours don't deserve to exist.

586
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:41,600
Speaker 1: Maybe that's not the person you're trying to court. But

587
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:45,560
Speaker 1: that guy who's coming to your show with his wife.

588
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:49,120
Speaker 1: He might be a guy that people would assume wouldn't

589
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:51,280
Speaker 1: respect you, but he's sitting in the audience at your

590
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:54,280
Speaker 1: show and bought a ticket, And like those are the

591
00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:56,360
Speaker 1: people we want to welcome into our world.

592
00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:57,200
Speaker 3: Absolutely.

593
00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:01,680
Speaker 1: So yeah, like if you're a flag flying Nazi like

594
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:06,440
Speaker 1: storming cities right now. I'm not interested in like meeting

595
00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:10,640
Speaker 1: you in the middle, but your neighbor, like so many

596
00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:12,520
Speaker 1: of the people I live down the street from in

597
00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:16,040
Speaker 1: North Carolina for ten years, so many, like so many

598
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:21,560
Speaker 1: people who because I'm always upset about injustice on social media,

599
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:23,760
Speaker 1: like my audience, wouldn't think I'd be willing to have

600
00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:26,560
Speaker 1: a conversation with. Those are some of the first people

601
00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:28,640
Speaker 1: I want to have a conversation with, because they're the

602
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:31,800
Speaker 1: people we have to remind that we're all neighbors.

603
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:36,480
Speaker 2: I think, absolutely, yeah, And I try my best to

604
00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:40,720
Speaker 2: you know, obviously there's extremes.

605
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 3: Like you said, we're not trying to court those people.

606
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:46,440
Speaker 2: But that good old boy that comes to my show

607
00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:48,360
Speaker 2: that you know has got a big.

608
00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:50,280
Speaker 3: Old Copenhagen Graham in his lip.

609
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:54,520
Speaker 2: I try not to judge him just based off appearance,

610
00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:56,640
Speaker 2: the way that I wouldn't want to be judged myself.

611
00:32:56,680 --> 00:33:02,040
Speaker 2: And I've been like pleasantly surprised at how many people

612
00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:04,440
Speaker 2: that maybe I did like a first glance to.

613
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:07,320
Speaker 3: Be like, oh, he's about to say something stupid to me,

614
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:08,400
Speaker 3: Like I can just feel.

615
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:09,920
Speaker 2: It and meet and greet line and then he ends

616
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:12,520
Speaker 2: up being like, Denay, I just want to.

617
00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:15,200
Speaker 3: Tell you my son. He came out in high school.

618
00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:17,600
Speaker 3: You know, we didn't like it. We didn't like it.

619
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:18,120
Speaker 3: Won b it.

620
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:20,760
Speaker 2: And then my wife turned me on to your stuff

621
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:22,920
Speaker 2: and I started following you and I thought, well, hell,

622
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:25,640
Speaker 2: she can live a happy, healthy life, soa can my boy,

623
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:29,240
Speaker 2: you know, And like it's just it's a beautiful thing.

624
00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:32,480
Speaker 2: It's I really that's like my pride and joy, right.

625
00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:35,920
Speaker 3: There is just creating a place for everybody that all

626
00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:38,680
Speaker 3: wants to come to my show. And it's been it's

627
00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:42,480
Speaker 3: been a really beautiful thing because my audience is I

628
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:44,960
Speaker 3: wish I could pinpoint what my audience is, but it's

629
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:48,400
Speaker 3: just so diverse, which is which is awesome.

630
00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:52,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, God, that is so cool and that's exactly what

631
00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:56,200
Speaker 1: you want, right, Like it's so great. We'll be back

632
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 1: in just a minute after a few words from our

633
00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:09,880
Speaker 1: favorite sponsors. Things are heightening, right, and yet we still

634
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:14,840
Speaker 1: want to believe in each other. How do you think

635
00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:21,759
Speaker 1: that you make that positive difference not just with the

636
00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:24,520
Speaker 1: people you get to meet, but like, do you think

637
00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:27,399
Speaker 1: about it differently as you watch the rhetoric turn up?

638
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:30,480
Speaker 1: Do you think about, oh I want to be I

639
00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:34,680
Speaker 1: want to make more content about this, or I'm going

640
00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:37,640
Speaker 1: to try to pepper non obvious stuff, you know, non

641
00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:41,760
Speaker 1: obviously queer stuff in with that stuff, so that maybe

642
00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:44,920
Speaker 1: I can reach more of these people who might need

643
00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 1: an example like me to look at their kid differently.

644
00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:51,759
Speaker 1: Or are you trying not to let your work be

645
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:52,759
Speaker 1: affected by it?

646
00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:55,600
Speaker 2: This might seem like too simple of an answer, but

647
00:34:57,200 --> 00:35:00,920
Speaker 2: I'm just so nobody's just one dimension, you know, Like

648
00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:04,040
Speaker 2: I'm sure some people probably try to put me in

649
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:06,200
Speaker 2: a box, but I am just so much more than

650
00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:10,680
Speaker 2: one thing, and so I just threw my content through

651
00:35:10,719 --> 00:35:15,440
Speaker 2: my work. I'm just truly all of me, and I

652
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:19,360
Speaker 2: believe I believe there's a little piece for everybody.

653
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:19,640
Speaker 4: You know.

654
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:23,239
Speaker 2: It made me that that that guy saw twenty of

655
00:35:23,239 --> 00:35:26,080
Speaker 2: my videos in a six month span, and it was

656
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:29,400
Speaker 2: it was one video of me prank phone calling somebody.

657
00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:33,879
Speaker 5: The taxidermist that yeah, you know, maybe maybe that was it,

658
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:35,840
Speaker 5: and he was like, oh my god, she is so

659
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:39,520
Speaker 5: funny and her sense of humor is just like mine.

660
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:42,160
Speaker 2: And then the next video he watches it and it's

661
00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:44,160
Speaker 2: me and my girlfriend Jim, and he's like, well, I'll

662
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:47,359
Speaker 2: be damn, she's gay, And then the next video comes

663
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:49,279
Speaker 2: up and it's me pulling a prank on one of

664
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:49,800
Speaker 2: my friends.

665
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:53,120
Speaker 3: I'll be dating that girl. Is so funny and slowly

666
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:58,719
Speaker 3: but surely me being gay is no longer even concerning

667
00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:01,640
Speaker 3: to him. He just in love with me as a person.

668
00:36:01,719 --> 00:36:06,480
Speaker 3: So yeah, I just I try to just create contents

669
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:08,960
Speaker 3: of little pieces of every little part of my personality,

670
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,799
Speaker 3: hoping that some part of it resonates with somebody and

671
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:15,120
Speaker 3: somebody sticking around for a longer period of time.

672
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:18,960
Speaker 1: Right, what was it like when you made that video?

673
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:21,760
Speaker 1: I have to ask, like we're in the present moment,

674
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:23,439
Speaker 1: but yes, I have to go a little bit back,

675
00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:26,600
Speaker 1: like yeah, because to have something like that go so

676
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:31,520
Speaker 1: viral and really, you know, change the trajectory of your life,

677
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:34,759
Speaker 1: Like did you have a clue that that was going

678
00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:38,520
Speaker 1: to hit that way? What was the inspiration? Like I

679
00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:40,640
Speaker 1: need you to set the scene for me, Like it's

680
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:42,439
Speaker 1: like it's like it's masterpiece theater.

681
00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:46,279
Speaker 3: So from a time I was ten years old, that

682
00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:50,640
Speaker 3: was my party trick. My parents would would holler at me.

683
00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:53,439
Speaker 2: From the basement where I was playing video games, riding

684
00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:54,600
Speaker 2: the bike or whatever, and they'd be like.

685
00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:56,600
Speaker 3: Did I come up here and break phone call for

686
00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:58,880
Speaker 3: the group? And they'd be up there playing bunco with

687
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:02,080
Speaker 3: their friends, and then I would be ten and I

688
00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:04,040
Speaker 3: would have them in the palm of my hand for

689
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:05,880
Speaker 3: as long as I wanted a prank phone call. They

690
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:08,000
Speaker 3: thought it was the funniest thing they've ever seen. So

691
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:09,520
Speaker 3: I got.

692
00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:12,560
Speaker 2: And then I went to college and played softball and

693
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:15,400
Speaker 2: all of my teammates wanted me to prank phone call. Well,

694
00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:20,440
Speaker 2: in twenty twenty one, I was actually working. I cannot

695
00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:22,800
Speaker 2: believe I'm about to disclose this. Here's a golden nugget

696
00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:23,759
Speaker 2: forty Sophiam.

697
00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:24,640
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

698
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:28,959
Speaker 3: I was working in a pyramid scheme. I was sight, Yes,

699
00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:32,560
Speaker 3: I was. My ex wife had gotten me. She was

700
00:37:32,600 --> 00:37:33,880
Speaker 3: doing it and doing very.

701
00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:37,799
Speaker 2: Well at it, and it was selling fitness programs, and

702
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:41,680
Speaker 2: I was like, well, I'm selling real estate in my hometown,

703
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:45,520
Speaker 2: like selling eighty and ninety thousand dollars hounses like it's

704
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:47,960
Speaker 2: not very fun, so yeah, I'll give it a whirl.

705
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:49,680
Speaker 2: And I saw that she was doing really great at it,

706
00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:50,839
Speaker 2: so I started doing that.

707
00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:55,520
Speaker 3: I hated it. I loved helping people get fit, but

708
00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:57,200
Speaker 3: I hated the idea of having to sign up a

709
00:37:57,239 --> 00:38:00,359
Speaker 3: million people and you know the whole bad part of it.

710
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:03,520
Speaker 2: So one night during the pandemic, I'm sitting at my

711
00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:08,160
Speaker 2: kitchen counter, I'm like, you know what, I'm gonna prank

712
00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:10,120
Speaker 2: phone call somebody and I'm gonna film it.

713
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:13,640
Speaker 3: And it was I was like, that might have been

714
00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:15,600
Speaker 3: the best drank phone call I've ever done in my life.

715
00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:18,600
Speaker 3: I was like, I need people to see this while

716
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:23,719
Speaker 3: I'm like twenty eight years old and harassing people are

717
00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:26,960
Speaker 3: trying to make a living during a global pandemic. And

718
00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:29,799
Speaker 3: I posted it on TikTok and I woke up the

719
00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:34,480
Speaker 3: next day with two hundred and fifty thousand followers and

720
00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:40,160
Speaker 3: I was like what WHOA. I was like, I've never

721
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:42,840
Speaker 3: ever had that many followers in my life. I was like,

722
00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:45,360
Speaker 3: I'm going to post another one tonight.

723
00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:48,719
Speaker 2: So I called Dairy Queen and asked them if I

724
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:51,440
Speaker 2: could lather my husband up with their hot bud burnie

725
00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:51,879
Speaker 2: or not.

726
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:56,960
Speaker 4: And she was like, I don't know, it might and

727
00:38:57,000 --> 00:39:00,800
Speaker 4: I posted it and then it just kept explode exploding

728
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:03,719
Speaker 4: and I was like, oh what, Like this is an

729
00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:06,520
Speaker 4: opportunity of a life time, Like I've got people's attention

730
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:07,400
Speaker 4: on social media.

731
00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:09,640
Speaker 2: They think I'm the funny girl that does prink phone calls.

732
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:13,440
Speaker 2: I'm going to squeeze the prank phone call for everything

733
00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:16,760
Speaker 2: it's worth. I bet I posted fifty prank phone calls

734
00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:20,759
Speaker 2: until nobody cared anymore, right, and then I was like, well,

735
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:22,920
Speaker 2: it's time to do something different. So then I started

736
00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:25,520
Speaker 2: doing characters on social media, and then characters came into

737
00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:30,240
Speaker 2: sketches and did and had I not decided to post

738
00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:33,879
Speaker 2: that video of harassing that four taxidermist, which, by the way,

739
00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:37,160
Speaker 2: he got seven thousand dollars worth of business from that

740
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:39,480
Speaker 2: prink phone call because his customer service was.

741
00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:45,960
Speaker 1: So good, So that's amazing. I always like to say that, Yeah,

742
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:50,000
Speaker 1: you you joked that you were harassing the taxidermist, but

743
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:53,120
Speaker 1: really you were a business bump, Truly.

744
00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:56,680
Speaker 3: I always like to say that because I'm like, it

745
00:39:56,719 --> 00:39:59,680
Speaker 3: makes me feel a little less bad about wasting this time.

746
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:03,040
Speaker 1: Oh, but it's just so funny. It's so funny, and

747
00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:06,880
Speaker 1: like to think about just trusting your gut there and

748
00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:11,160
Speaker 1: then you fast forward and you're performing at the grandle Opry, Like,

749
00:40:13,280 --> 00:40:15,879
Speaker 1: were you just having an out of body experience when

750
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:20,560
Speaker 1: you realized, oh I I was doing the funny thing

751
00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:22,960
Speaker 1: I like to do, and now I'm on this literal,

752
00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 1: like literal sacred ground for so many people. Was it crazy?

753
00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:33,080
Speaker 3: That was the most nervous I've ever been. I go

754
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:36,880
Speaker 3: back and watch video footage of me standing side say, God.

755
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:38,839
Speaker 2: I bet I wore a hole in the ground. How

756
00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:42,480
Speaker 2: many times I paced the side stage? What I always

757
00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:45,439
Speaker 2: like to joke and say, because it's true, I lied

758
00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:49,319
Speaker 2: my way to the opry. When when I started doing

759
00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:53,400
Speaker 2: really well on social media, my agents at CAAA reached

760
00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:55,840
Speaker 2: out and they were like, we'd like to take a

761
00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:58,719
Speaker 2: meeting with you. You know, we really are interested in

762
00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:00,000
Speaker 2: signing you as a client.

763
00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:00,080
Speaker 3: It.

764
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:03,759
Speaker 2: So I went and I met with like eighteen guys

765
00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:06,680
Speaker 2: at this boardroom and they all were just looking at me.

766
00:41:06,719 --> 00:41:09,040
Speaker 2: And one of the guys goes, so do you do

767
00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:12,239
Speaker 2: stand up? And I was like, thenay, you're not going

768
00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:14,960
Speaker 2: to lose this opportunity. So I looked at all of

769
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:18,680
Speaker 2: them and I go, I sure do. And they're like, awesome,

770
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:20,080
Speaker 2: how long have you been doing it?

771
00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:22,640
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, for a while now. And

772
00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:24,600
Speaker 3: they're like, oh, we'd love to see some of your clips,

773
00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:26,880
Speaker 3: and I was like, I just don't record any of

774
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:27,600
Speaker 3: my stand up.

775
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:30,160
Speaker 2: I was like, but I could do another show and

776
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:32,319
Speaker 2: report it. And I'm thinking, oh my god, I've got

777
00:41:32,360 --> 00:41:33,560
Speaker 2: to actually go do stand up.

778
00:41:34,160 --> 00:41:37,120
Speaker 3: So they looking at me and they're like, well, tell

779
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:39,560
Speaker 3: you what to see if we want to sign you.

780
00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:42,960
Speaker 2: We're going to book seven comedy clubs and see how

781
00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:45,279
Speaker 2: the tickets go. And I was like, oh okay, So

782
00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:46,600
Speaker 2: like how long would my set be?

783
00:41:46,719 --> 00:41:49,720
Speaker 3: Like ten fifteen minutes? And they're like, no, you're headlining,

784
00:41:49,719 --> 00:41:52,600
Speaker 3: it'll be an hour. And I was like, oh, absolutely, sorry.

785
00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:56,200
Speaker 1: I was like, I was like absolutely, Like it just

786
00:41:56,239 --> 00:41:58,359
Speaker 1: sounded like you were this is like a test thing.

787
00:41:58,880 --> 00:41:59,080
Speaker 3: Yeah.

788
00:41:59,160 --> 00:42:00,960
Speaker 2: I thought we were doing like you know, like just

789
00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:03,680
Speaker 2: go performing from in front of some executives.

790
00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:07,279
Speaker 3: But I was like, okay, oh my god. So that

791
00:42:07,560 --> 00:42:09,719
Speaker 3: I had two months to write an hour worth of

792
00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:13,120
Speaker 3: material when I had never even done thirty seconds of

793
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:13,759
Speaker 3: stand up?

794
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:15,640
Speaker 1: What did you do?

795
00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:23,040
Speaker 3: I pray? So I had two months.

796
00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:25,120
Speaker 1: By the way, if that's not the evidence that God

797
00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:27,200
Speaker 1: loves the games, come on.

798
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:31,880
Speaker 3: And I get it any man. So the worst part

799
00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:35,600
Speaker 3: is that all seven shows sold out in two days,

800
00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:38,600
Speaker 3: and I was like, oh my god. I was like

801
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:42,040
Speaker 3: I was hoping nobody would come. I had to go

802
00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:45,239
Speaker 3: in front of seven sold out audiences and learn how

803
00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:50,680
Speaker 3: to do stand up and do it for an hour straight.

804
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:53,040
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

805
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:57,800
Speaker 2: So it was definitely baptism by fire and I loved

806
00:42:57,840 --> 00:43:01,280
Speaker 2: it and I was addicted to it and it went great.

807
00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:04,160
Speaker 2: So I got signed by CIA, which has ultimately led

808
00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:06,200
Speaker 2: to like one hundred and twenty shows in the past

809
00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:06,840
Speaker 2: two years.

810
00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:09,759
Speaker 3: The grand Olo. So I do like to say I

811
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:11,600
Speaker 3: lied my way to the grand Ole Oper.

812
00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:17,440
Speaker 1: Great. We love that, We love that. Oh my goodness.

813
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:24,040
Speaker 1: I'm just like two months to write an hour of

814
00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:28,359
Speaker 1: stand up like you watch the documentaries of the greats,

815
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:32,239
Speaker 1: like popping around the country for six months workshopping an

816
00:43:32,239 --> 00:43:36,440
Speaker 1: hour of material. I am just like, holy shit, But

817
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:41,759
Speaker 1: I get what you mean. It's like there is something about, well,

818
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:43,960
Speaker 1: I've got to do it and it's coming up, and

819
00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:45,640
Speaker 1: so you just you.

820
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:47,279
Speaker 3: Do, right. Yeah.

821
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:52,000
Speaker 2: I do believe that, like when you are just meant

822
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:55,799
Speaker 2: for something, that it will come with ease, Like when

823
00:43:55,840 --> 00:43:58,960
Speaker 2: you were in alignment with your purpose in line, there

824
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:01,440
Speaker 2: is an element of ease that happens with it. Not

825
00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:03,160
Speaker 2: to say that there's not going to be pushback or

826
00:44:03,160 --> 00:44:06,239
Speaker 2: it's not going to be hard, but anytime that I

827
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:08,560
Speaker 2: felt like I was truly in alignment do the things

828
00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:12,360
Speaker 2: I was meant to be doing, it just happened with

829
00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:13,440
Speaker 2: ease at the beginning.

830
00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:15,920
Speaker 3: And that's one thing that I.

831
00:44:16,719 --> 00:44:19,239
Speaker 2: Can talk for hours about this, but the power of

832
00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:22,480
Speaker 2: visualization and the power of like truly seeing yourself do

833
00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:24,239
Speaker 2: the things that you want to do, so that when

834
00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:26,319
Speaker 2: you actually do them, it feels like deja vou.

835
00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:30,280
Speaker 3: I feel like that's my superpower, but it's a superpower

836
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:31,000
Speaker 3: that we can all have.

837
00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:38,960
Speaker 2: I just I've just really enjoy setting goals and then

838
00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 2: visually seeing them, Like I spend so much of my

839
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:46,399
Speaker 2: time just imagining what it's going to smell like when

840
00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:48,920
Speaker 2: I'm standing at the opera, Like what are the audience

841
00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:51,439
Speaker 2: members like? What are their facial reactions look like while

842
00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:53,719
Speaker 2: I'm up there, So that when it did happen and

843
00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:56,279
Speaker 2: I felt like I shot out like a cannonball into

844
00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:59,160
Speaker 2: the stage. Once I was out there, it felt like

845
00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:01,799
Speaker 2: I'd already been there before. So I think a lot

846
00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:03,799
Speaker 2: of that happened at the beginning too. Whenever I was

847
00:45:03,840 --> 00:45:06,400
Speaker 2: doing this first seven shows, is I just imagined it

848
00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:08,399
Speaker 2: for so long that when the opportunity came.

849
00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:10,800
Speaker 3: I was like, Oh, I'm ready for this. The universe

850
00:45:10,880 --> 00:45:12,279
Speaker 3: is flopping this in my lapp.

851
00:45:12,719 --> 00:45:16,279
Speaker 1: Right, does that come from sports psychology for you?

852
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:17,240
Speaker 3: For sure?

853
00:45:17,320 --> 00:45:19,959
Speaker 2: And I was a d I was a terrible hitter,

854
00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:22,239
Speaker 2: and so my coach was always looking me with these

855
00:45:22,239 --> 00:45:26,800
Speaker 2: sports psychologists and I'm like, dude, I still suck at hitting,

856
00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:29,759
Speaker 2: like I'm a great defensive player. But thank god that

857
00:45:29,840 --> 00:45:32,520
Speaker 2: he sent me to all of those sports psychologists because

858
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:33,319
Speaker 2: I feel like I.

859
00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:38,400
Speaker 3: Learned so much of that that's now translated in the comedy. Yeah.

860
00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:42,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like that's something that I learned it

861
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:46,960
Speaker 1: by proxy from Ashland. And it's really interesting because I

862
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:49,000
Speaker 1: think the thing that really blew her mind. You know,

863
00:45:49,040 --> 00:45:51,160
Speaker 1: we knew each other for so long, but it's like

864
00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:55,080
Speaker 1: you don't get into the depths of how you work

865
00:45:55,160 --> 00:45:57,560
Speaker 1: or where your fears come from until you like are

866
00:45:57,560 --> 00:46:00,480
Speaker 1: really in it with somebody. And she was like, wait

867
00:46:00,520 --> 00:46:02,880
Speaker 1: a second, what do you mean You just go to

868
00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:06,719
Speaker 1: set and like nobody helps you. They don't connect you

869
00:46:06,760 --> 00:46:09,080
Speaker 1: to anybody. Wait, what do you mean they don't make

870
00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:11,480
Speaker 1: there's no like prep for your body. What do you

871
00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:13,640
Speaker 1: mean there's no prep for your brain? What do you mean?

872
00:46:13,960 --> 00:46:16,440
Speaker 1: And I was like, Wow, Yeah, it actually is sort

873
00:46:16,480 --> 00:46:21,960
Speaker 1: of completely insane that we are supposed to do all

874
00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:26,239
Speaker 1: of this alone. And I've learned so much about just

875
00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:30,920
Speaker 1: how athletes prepare and gone like, damn, if I'd known

876
00:46:30,960 --> 00:46:34,279
Speaker 1: this shit in the beginning of my career, I can't

877
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:39,840
Speaker 1: even imagine. Like, it's just it's like, it's a crazy

878
00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:42,640
Speaker 1: thing to have something you know, dawn on you and

879
00:46:42,719 --> 00:46:44,640
Speaker 1: have it be the most obvious thing to the person

880
00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:48,800
Speaker 1: you're having a conversation with. It's really cool that you've

881
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:50,840
Speaker 1: you know, had that in your back pocket.

882
00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:54,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a study that I read Warren Stays from

883
00:46:54,560 --> 00:46:58,879
Speaker 2: the Indiana basketball program in the eighties, and I could

884
00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:00,960
Speaker 2: be getting the numbers wrong, But so they took thirty

885
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:04,239
Speaker 2: people in classified them in Group A, and thirty people

886
00:47:04,280 --> 00:47:05,600
Speaker 2: and classified them in Group B.

887
00:47:05,719 --> 00:47:07,440
Speaker 3: And they sat all sixty down.

888
00:47:07,239 --> 00:47:09,840
Speaker 2: In the gymnasium and they taught them how to shoot

889
00:47:09,840 --> 00:47:12,799
Speaker 2: a free throw. They didn't actually let them shoot the ball,

890
00:47:12,880 --> 00:47:16,479
Speaker 2: they just showed them the correct form. And they had

891
00:47:17,280 --> 00:47:20,680
Speaker 2: Group B go in every single day for thirty days

892
00:47:20,719 --> 00:47:25,200
Speaker 2: and practice physically on shooting the free throw. And then

893
00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:28,520
Speaker 2: they had Group B never touch a ball but just

894
00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:32,000
Speaker 2: visualize what it would be like to make all of

895
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:34,400
Speaker 2: those free throws, and at the end of thirty days,

896
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:37,200
Speaker 2: you would think the group that physically touched the ball

897
00:47:37,200 --> 00:47:39,960
Speaker 2: and practice would have better results, But their results were

898
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:43,759
Speaker 2: exactly the same. And so that was when it clicked with.

899
00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:48,560
Speaker 3: Me that the power of visualizing versus actually doing they

900
00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:51,960
Speaker 3: hold the same weight. So if you could practice physically

901
00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:55,000
Speaker 3: and then spend your off time visualizing, you're getting double

902
00:47:55,040 --> 00:47:55,640
Speaker 3: to practice.

903
00:47:56,400 --> 00:48:02,560
Speaker 1: Wow, that was so cool. Yeah, that's so cool. Do

904
00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:05,680
Speaker 1: you think that knowing things like that, and you know,

905
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:09,439
Speaker 1: having that athletic training in your background, does it give

906
00:48:09,480 --> 00:48:12,080
Speaker 1: you a little more permission to just dive in? Because

907
00:48:13,160 --> 00:48:19,040
Speaker 1: I think about you know, even like you writing fuck it,

908
00:48:19,040 --> 00:48:22,239
Speaker 1: it feels like a declaration, it feels really brave. Do

909
00:48:22,320 --> 00:48:24,960
Speaker 1: you think you're more fearless because of that background?

910
00:48:26,120 --> 00:48:26,400
Speaker 3: Yeah?

911
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:30,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think standing up at the plate hitting in

912
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:35,160
Speaker 2: softball in front of you know, five ten thousand people

913
00:48:35,200 --> 00:48:36,040
Speaker 2: and they're all all their.

914
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:38,400
Speaker 3: Ridds are on you, Like, that's a lot of pressure.

915
00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:42,360
Speaker 2: So I think I was just conditioned to like seeing

916
00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:45,480
Speaker 2: pressure as a privilege, Like, it's what a privilege it

917
00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:47,640
Speaker 2: is to be able to have all eyes.

918
00:48:47,400 --> 00:48:51,480
Speaker 3: On me at this moment. Yeah, so yeah, I do.

919
00:48:52,080 --> 00:48:53,520
Speaker 3: I like that you said that because I've never really

920
00:48:53,560 --> 00:48:54,440
Speaker 3: thought about that before.

921
00:48:54,480 --> 00:48:58,479
Speaker 2: But I think all those years playing softball has given

922
00:48:58,480 --> 00:49:00,799
Speaker 2: me the ability to be like, yeah, I don't care

923
00:49:00,880 --> 00:49:02,000
Speaker 2: what people think about me.

924
00:49:02,080 --> 00:49:08,120
Speaker 3: I'm not for everybody. I'm for myself. So yeah, I

925
00:49:08,160 --> 00:49:10,040
Speaker 3: do that. How do I? How did I just know?

926
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:13,120
Speaker 3: How this epiphany at thirty two years old? Oh yeah, listen,

927
00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:16,880
Speaker 3: softball helped me become about what hell I'm just not

928
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:17,600
Speaker 3: thinking of that.

929
00:49:18,200 --> 00:49:23,040
Speaker 1: It's it's a full circle experience here for sure, it's exciting.

930
00:49:23,160 --> 00:49:31,600
Speaker 1: It's really really cool. And now for our sponsors, you

931
00:49:31,600 --> 00:49:34,200
Speaker 1: know you you touched on it and that can be it.

932
00:49:34,480 --> 00:49:36,359
Speaker 1: But if you want to talk about it, I want

933
00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:40,080
Speaker 1: to give you the space. You know you mentioned there's

934
00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:42,839
Speaker 1: so much that's great and there there's been experience in

935
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:46,000
Speaker 1: being who you are that's come at a cost, and

936
00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:50,000
Speaker 1: you just reconnected with your mom after this seven year

937
00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:57,640
Speaker 1: stint has I mean, whether you want to discuss or not,

938
00:49:57,719 --> 00:49:59,960
Speaker 1: If you do, how has that been? And I want

939
00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:04,000
Speaker 1: under again, as a person who has a personal life

940
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:09,239
Speaker 1: but a public persona has that experience shifted the way

941
00:50:09,280 --> 00:50:14,160
Speaker 1: you talk about family in public or on stage. Does

942
00:50:14,239 --> 00:50:16,919
Speaker 1: it make you feel more or less permission to say

943
00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:18,200
Speaker 1: whatever you want to say?

944
00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:20,920
Speaker 3: Yeah? No, I don't want to talk about this at all.

945
00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:23,760
Speaker 3: This seven years is a long time.

946
00:50:24,960 --> 00:50:27,080
Speaker 2: I think we all craved the love of our motor

947
00:50:27,880 --> 00:50:30,600
Speaker 2: and go in seven years about hearing her voice or

948
00:50:30,719 --> 00:50:33,120
Speaker 2: being able to call her after a tough day or

949
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:35,680
Speaker 2: a day to celebrate. I feel like I was just

950
00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:42,720
Speaker 2: stripped and robbed of that. And it all transpired where

951
00:50:43,120 --> 00:50:47,040
Speaker 2: a lot of hurt happened seven years ago, and I

952
00:50:47,120 --> 00:50:51,160
Speaker 2: was also in a relationship that, you know, without going

953
00:50:51,200 --> 00:50:53,120
Speaker 2: to into depth about that, I was in a relationship

954
00:50:53,160 --> 00:50:59,600
Speaker 2: where it needed my undivided attention, and so when some

955
00:50:59,680 --> 00:51:03,879
Speaker 2: hurtful things were said by my mother, I felt very

956
00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:08,560
Speaker 2: pooled to pull away from that and align myself with

957
00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:09,240
Speaker 2: my partner.

958
00:51:10,080 --> 00:51:10,960
Speaker 3: I didn't think at.

959
00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:12,919
Speaker 2: The time that seven years would ever be the case.

960
00:51:12,960 --> 00:51:14,640
Speaker 2: I thought, you know, it might be like a month

961
00:51:14,719 --> 00:51:17,279
Speaker 2: until like our hot heads pulled off, and then we'd

962
00:51:17,320 --> 00:51:19,279
Speaker 2: be fine and we'd come and have a meeting of

963
00:51:19,280 --> 00:51:22,600
Speaker 2: the mind. But it didn't go that way. It went

964
00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:32,080
Speaker 2: seven years, and so I just kept feeling this urge that,

965
00:51:32,320 --> 00:51:34,719
Speaker 2: like my mom had been on this vacation and that

966
00:51:34,920 --> 00:51:37,160
Speaker 2: I have had it in my calendar for seven years

967
00:51:37,160 --> 00:51:39,000
Speaker 2: that today's the day she comes back. And I got

968
00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:40,680
Speaker 2: to go pick her up from the airport. Like I

969
00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:45,960
Speaker 2: was very expectant, and I had never had that feeling before,

970
00:51:46,480 --> 00:51:47,359
Speaker 2: and it just.

971
00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:48,520
Speaker 3: Felt very spiritual.

972
00:51:48,719 --> 00:51:51,640
Speaker 2: It felt like this thing had dropped in my spirit

973
00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:54,319
Speaker 2: and that I needed to be expectant that something good

974
00:51:54,400 --> 00:51:58,040
Speaker 2: was going to happen and a relationship with a lot

975
00:51:58,040 --> 00:52:00,120
Speaker 2: of trust and a lot of honesty was going to blow.

976
00:52:00,440 --> 00:52:03,400
Speaker 2: And so I was driving down the road with my

977
00:52:03,440 --> 00:52:05,640
Speaker 2: girlfriend and I looked at her and I said, Jim,

978
00:52:07,520 --> 00:52:09,239
Speaker 2: I think I want to call my mom right now.

979
00:52:10,160 --> 00:52:15,400
Speaker 2: And she loves me so much. She said, then do it, baby,

980
00:52:15,760 --> 00:52:19,160
Speaker 2: call her she doesn't. If it goes good, we'll celebrate,

981
00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:21,960
Speaker 2: and if it doesn't go good, me and you will

982
00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:22,279
Speaker 2: have the.

983
00:52:22,239 --> 00:52:24,680
Speaker 3: Most unconditional love. And we moved beyond it knowing that

984
00:52:24,719 --> 00:52:27,600
Speaker 3: you gave it your best shot. That was all I

985
00:52:27,640 --> 00:52:29,960
Speaker 3: needed to hear. So I picked the phone and I

986
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:33,400
Speaker 3: called her one night and she answered, and we were

987
00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:38,640
Speaker 3: both just shot listening to each other's voices and we

988
00:52:38,719 --> 00:52:41,960
Speaker 3: just cried and cried, and there's so many apologies from

989
00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:47,600
Speaker 3: both of them, and my mom just reassured me that

990
00:52:47,960 --> 00:52:51,840
Speaker 3: she loves me unconditionally and she's sorry that she struggled

991
00:52:51,840 --> 00:52:54,080
Speaker 3: with my sexuality and.

992
00:52:54,160 --> 00:52:56,000
Speaker 2: She's sorry that she allowed it to be a wedge

993
00:52:56,040 --> 00:53:00,759
Speaker 2: between us. And we met two weeks later, and we

994
00:53:00,800 --> 00:53:02,759
Speaker 2: had a face to face meeting and I told her,

995
00:53:02,800 --> 00:53:04,520
Speaker 2: I was like, I want this to be the most

996
00:53:04,520 --> 00:53:07,960
Speaker 2: honest relationship you have in your life, outside of your marriage.

997
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:10,319
Speaker 2: I want everything that we say to each other to

998
00:53:10,360 --> 00:53:13,360
Speaker 2: be honest, and if something hurts, I want us to

999
00:53:13,360 --> 00:53:15,680
Speaker 2: be able to say that in the moment instead of.

1000
00:53:15,600 --> 00:53:16,759
Speaker 3: Resenting each other for it.

1001
00:53:17,719 --> 00:53:20,120
Speaker 2: And so we brought up things that you know, were

1002
00:53:20,320 --> 00:53:24,359
Speaker 2: really really painful and really hurtful, just to just to

1003
00:53:24,400 --> 00:53:28,880
Speaker 2: hash it out and it went beautifully. And then the

1004
00:53:28,920 --> 00:53:31,000
Speaker 2: next week I got to meet up with my sister

1005
00:53:31,040 --> 00:53:34,799
Speaker 2: as well. And when I tell you, it's been the

1006
00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:41,480
Speaker 2: most wonderful or feeling moment to just have my family

1007
00:53:41,520 --> 00:53:45,719
Speaker 2: back in my life and show each other grace. And

1008
00:53:47,160 --> 00:53:49,439
Speaker 2: I told them both, I said, for all of us,

1009
00:53:50,040 --> 00:53:52,719
Speaker 2: I don't want our relationship to be about perfection. I

1010
00:53:52,719 --> 00:53:54,279
Speaker 2: don't want it to be about we have to say

1011
00:53:54,280 --> 00:53:57,520
Speaker 2: the perfect thing. I want it to be about grace,

1012
00:53:57,760 --> 00:54:00,880
Speaker 2: where if one of us us can't see eye to

1013
00:54:00,880 --> 00:54:02,799
Speaker 2: eye with the other person, we let them know that

1014
00:54:02,840 --> 00:54:06,320
Speaker 2: and we try to figure our way to bridge that gap.

1015
00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:09,360
Speaker 2: So for a while there, I'd always thought that a

1016
00:54:09,400 --> 00:54:11,880
Speaker 2: great relationship was based off just being perfect.

1017
00:54:13,520 --> 00:54:14,879
Speaker 3: And I now know that we're all.

1018
00:54:14,840 --> 00:54:18,480
Speaker 2: Humans with different human experiences and that molds us and

1019
00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:20,359
Speaker 2: shapes us into who we are and we may not

1020
00:54:20,400 --> 00:54:21,160
Speaker 2: see things.

1021
00:54:20,920 --> 00:54:21,439
Speaker 3: The same way.

1022
00:54:21,520 --> 00:54:25,040
Speaker 2: But if you love somebody unconditionally and you trust them,

1023
00:54:25,600 --> 00:54:29,759
Speaker 2: that eventually that love overcomes that disagreement.

1024
00:54:29,920 --> 00:54:31,399
Speaker 3: And so it's been a wonderful thing.

1025
00:54:31,680 --> 00:54:35,719
Speaker 2: And yeah, it's been the highlight, the highlight of the

1026
00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:36,719
Speaker 2: last decade for me.

1027
00:54:37,440 --> 00:54:42,080
Speaker 1: Oh that's so cool. I love that. Do you feel

1028
00:54:42,640 --> 00:54:46,239
Speaker 1: because it's a fresher thing, Like, do you feel a

1029
00:54:46,280 --> 00:54:48,640
Speaker 1: little protective of it? Or are you like, oh, I

1030
00:54:48,719 --> 00:54:50,239
Speaker 1: love you? And also I'm going to make fun of

1031
00:54:50,280 --> 00:54:52,240
Speaker 1: you on stage, like I'm going to tell jokes about

1032
00:54:52,239 --> 00:54:53,080
Speaker 1: our family, like.

1033
00:54:53,120 --> 00:54:57,840
Speaker 2: Oh that since being back with them, Yeah, the amount

1034
00:54:57,880 --> 00:54:59,239
Speaker 2: of content I.

1035
00:54:59,200 --> 00:55:02,600
Speaker 3: Am my family, Like I jokingly told him, I was like, look,

1036
00:55:02,640 --> 00:55:05,200
Speaker 3: I was running a little drown content. So I kind

1037
00:55:05,200 --> 00:55:07,919
Speaker 3: of had to welcome you all back. I'm sorry. Yeah,

1038
00:55:08,040 --> 00:55:11,560
Speaker 3: it's they aren't some of the funniest people I've ever

1039
00:55:11,600 --> 00:55:14,320
Speaker 3: got around. My mom has shaped a lot of my

1040
00:55:14,960 --> 00:55:18,359
Speaker 3: sense of humor, so they're definitely getting ragged on at

1041
00:55:18,400 --> 00:55:19,160
Speaker 3: my shows.

1042
00:55:19,400 --> 00:55:22,279
Speaker 1: You know what it feels, right, that's that's real familiar love.

1043
00:55:22,360 --> 00:55:25,200
Speaker 1: You know that's right? And how is it going? Because

1044
00:55:25,239 --> 00:55:28,560
Speaker 1: you just kicked off the buck Wild tour it's running

1045
00:55:28,560 --> 00:55:32,040
Speaker 1: through mid May. You know, how is it? What tell

1046
00:55:32,120 --> 00:55:34,760
Speaker 1: us about this tour? How's it different from the last ones?

1047
00:55:35,560 --> 00:55:38,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say this tour, I'm not going to

1048
00:55:38,920 --> 00:55:39,800
Speaker 2: say it's cleaner.

1049
00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:43,759
Speaker 3: I had a goal to write a cleaner set this year. Yeah,

1050
00:55:43,800 --> 00:55:45,920
Speaker 3: and then as I started writing it, I was like,

1051
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:52,799
Speaker 3: you know what, No, I was like, I would say

1052
00:55:52,840 --> 00:55:57,359
Speaker 3: this year is more, even more lighthearted, because the first

1053
00:55:57,400 --> 00:56:00,760
Speaker 3: tour I was actively going through really off of divorce.

1054
00:56:01,280 --> 00:56:05,200
Speaker 2: So I just feel I feel lighter, I feel more creative.

1055
00:56:06,160 --> 00:56:07,839
Speaker 2: I don't feel like there's a dark cloud hanging over

1056
00:56:07,880 --> 00:56:10,800
Speaker 2: my head. So it's been a really awesome experience before

1057
00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:13,799
Speaker 2: and it just feels I love that. It's fun, you

1058
00:56:13,840 --> 00:56:15,959
Speaker 2: know it just like we're getting back to having fun.

1059
00:56:16,960 --> 00:56:19,960
Speaker 1: Oh that's so great? Well great? Where where can our

1060
00:56:20,040 --> 00:56:23,400
Speaker 1: listeners if they're living under a rock and don't have

1061
00:56:23,440 --> 00:56:26,560
Speaker 1: their tickets, yet where can people go to find out

1062
00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:28,640
Speaker 1: where the next show near them is happening.

1063
00:56:29,040 --> 00:56:31,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, so the best priced tickets are going to be

1064
00:56:31,360 --> 00:56:37,000
Speaker 2: at my website, DANAE. Hayes hayeses without an Hayris dot com,

1065
00:56:37,040 --> 00:56:40,280
Speaker 2: So forget third party scalpers, like, go to my website

1066
00:56:40,280 --> 00:56:41,800
Speaker 2: and we'll get them for the best, best price.

1067
00:56:42,400 --> 00:56:43,080
Speaker 5: I love that.

1068
00:56:44,120 --> 00:56:46,960
Speaker 1: I have to ask you a question that actually was

1069
00:56:47,080 --> 00:56:50,960
Speaker 1: asked of me normally on the show I kick off

1070
00:56:51,080 --> 00:56:54,200
Speaker 1: the new year and I just do like a you know,

1071
00:56:54,320 --> 00:56:58,040
Speaker 1: straight to Mike me and a prep doc of questions

1072
00:56:58,040 --> 00:57:00,799
Speaker 1: that come in from our listeners and try to have

1073
00:57:00,920 --> 00:57:03,600
Speaker 1: like a little one on one time with the community.

1074
00:57:04,360 --> 00:57:08,160
Speaker 1: And this question came in before you and I booked

1075
00:57:08,760 --> 00:57:12,759
Speaker 1: our recording. So like talk about something spiritual being in

1076
00:57:12,800 --> 00:57:18,280
Speaker 1: the air, a listener asked. She wrote in and said,

1077
00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:21,280
Speaker 1: do you have any advice for a twenty year old

1078
00:57:21,400 --> 00:57:26,080
Speaker 1: closeted queer woman in South Alabama in the current political climate?

1079
00:57:27,560 --> 00:57:33,280
Speaker 1: And you know, my immediate the thing that came to

1080
00:57:33,280 --> 00:57:34,920
Speaker 1: me right away was I'm so sorry you have to

1081
00:57:34,920 --> 00:57:37,120
Speaker 1: ask me this question, because it tells me you're afraid.

1082
00:57:38,280 --> 00:57:39,840
Speaker 2: I hope we can get to the day one day

1083
00:57:39,920 --> 00:57:44,880
Speaker 2: where it's it's not even a fear, you know. The

1084
00:57:44,960 --> 00:57:46,960
Speaker 2: first thing I thought about was like, when I was

1085
00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:50,640
Speaker 2: coming out, what was the thing that helped me in most?

1086
00:57:52,160 --> 00:57:53,400
Speaker 3: I think it's it's.

1087
00:57:53,280 --> 00:57:58,160
Speaker 2: Finding that one person that you feel very trusting of

1088
00:57:59,320 --> 00:58:04,160
Speaker 2: and that understand you and being able to have an

1089
00:58:04,200 --> 00:58:07,080
Speaker 2: open minded communication with him. For me at the time,

1090
00:58:08,200 --> 00:58:10,440
Speaker 2: I had a friend named April. She was in her

1091
00:58:10,440 --> 00:58:13,400
Speaker 2: fifties at the time, and I was so scared to

1092
00:58:13,440 --> 00:58:15,320
Speaker 2: come out to her before I had come out like

1093
00:58:15,440 --> 00:58:19,040
Speaker 2: my family, and I remember I called her and I

1094
00:58:19,080 --> 00:58:22,800
Speaker 2: told her and her reaction was beautiful. It was, baby,

1095
00:58:22,960 --> 00:58:26,000
Speaker 2: I don't care what you are. I love you and

1096
00:58:27,280 --> 00:58:30,360
Speaker 2: that does not matter to me. And so she created

1097
00:58:30,360 --> 00:58:32,560
Speaker 2: a very safe space for me. And she was also

1098
00:58:33,880 --> 00:58:36,080
Speaker 2: a lot older than I was. I felt very nurturing.

1099
00:58:36,760 --> 00:58:40,480
Speaker 2: So my first thing is to find whoever that is

1100
00:58:40,520 --> 00:58:43,080
Speaker 2: for you, whether that's a sibling or a best friend,

1101
00:58:44,080 --> 00:58:47,480
Speaker 2: a classmate, somebody that you work with, somebody that you know.

1102
00:58:47,960 --> 00:58:49,880
Speaker 2: Because the reason I chose her is because I knew

1103
00:58:49,920 --> 00:58:51,880
Speaker 2: in my heart that she was going to accept me.

1104
00:58:52,200 --> 00:58:55,360
Speaker 2: She had just displayed that. So I would say, find

1105
00:58:55,360 --> 00:58:58,720
Speaker 2: that first line of appearance where when you do come

1106
00:58:58,720 --> 00:59:01,480
Speaker 2: out to somebody else, you know, you can always go

1107
00:59:01,600 --> 00:59:05,439
Speaker 2: back to a safe space, because we all crave a home,

1108
00:59:05,880 --> 00:59:11,560
Speaker 2: a home of just acceptance and safety and trustworthiness.

1109
00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:14,000
Speaker 3: So that would be my first thing.

1110
00:59:14,120 --> 00:59:16,440
Speaker 2: And then when you do come out to your family,

1111
00:59:19,040 --> 00:59:25,400
Speaker 2: try your best to not set expectations for it. Those

1112
00:59:25,520 --> 00:59:28,040
Speaker 2: chances are those expectations. Even if it goes well, that

1113
00:59:28,120 --> 00:59:30,640
Speaker 2: expectations might still a little look a little different.

1114
00:59:32,400 --> 00:59:35,520
Speaker 3: But I think once you've created that safe space with.

1115
00:59:35,560 --> 00:59:38,240
Speaker 2: A friend and a coworker, it'll make you feel a

1116
00:59:38,240 --> 00:59:41,200
Speaker 2: lot better of how your friends and family's reaction will be.

1117
00:59:42,080 --> 00:59:45,160
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, that's a tough question.

1118
00:59:45,200 --> 00:59:48,400
Speaker 2: I hate that it's twenty twenty six and people still

1119
00:59:48,440 --> 00:59:49,080
Speaker 2: feel that way.

1120
00:59:50,040 --> 00:59:53,040
Speaker 1: It's so crazy to me. And it's like, you know,

1121
00:59:54,360 --> 00:59:56,880
Speaker 1: the data estimate is one in five people are gay.

1122
00:59:56,920 --> 01:00:00,840
Speaker 1: It's like, what are we hello? Right everywhere on earth?

1123
01:00:01,400 --> 01:00:04,400
Speaker 1: What are what? How is this a conversation we're still having?

1124
01:00:04,520 --> 01:00:08,200
Speaker 1: But it is? And so we have to figure out

1125
01:00:08,240 --> 01:00:11,479
Speaker 1: how to help people have it and how to give

1126
01:00:11,520 --> 01:00:17,600
Speaker 1: them to your point. Safe spaces save friendships, you know,

1127
01:00:17,680 --> 01:00:21,880
Speaker 1: and sometimes they're next door and sometimes they're halfway around

1128
01:00:21,880 --> 01:00:25,880
Speaker 1: the world. But like you know, I always think especially

1129
01:00:25,920 --> 01:00:29,320
Speaker 1: for you know, really young people, people in their teens

1130
01:00:29,320 --> 01:00:31,479
Speaker 1: and in their twenties. It's like, if you haven't found

1131
01:00:31,480 --> 01:00:33,240
Speaker 1: your people yet, that's okay, you will.

1132
01:00:34,280 --> 01:00:37,880
Speaker 3: I love that you said that, because my teens in

1133
01:00:37,960 --> 01:00:40,280
Speaker 3: my twenties that was a tough that was a tough

1134
01:00:40,280 --> 01:00:44,200
Speaker 3: time to buy in like my inner circle. Yeah, those

1135
01:00:44,200 --> 01:00:45,160
Speaker 3: are tough ages.

1136
01:00:45,920 --> 01:00:48,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really hard.

1137
01:00:48,720 --> 01:00:49,160
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1138
01:00:49,280 --> 01:00:51,600
Speaker 2: I mean there's even times now where I'm in my

1139
01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:56,000
Speaker 2: thirties now and like I would say, there's three people

1140
01:00:56,040 --> 01:00:59,440
Speaker 2: that I consider like likeer friends that I could call

1141
01:00:59,520 --> 01:01:02,600
Speaker 2: right now pick it up. But we've always been taught

1142
01:01:02,600 --> 01:01:04,960
Speaker 2: that it needs to be like ten people, you know,

1143
01:01:06,240 --> 01:01:07,840
Speaker 2: and that's just that's not realistic.

1144
01:01:08,720 --> 01:01:13,560
Speaker 1: Yeah. I also just think everybody figures out their life

1145
01:01:13,600 --> 01:01:16,479
Speaker 1: at their own pace. Like I've always been a really

1146
01:01:16,560 --> 01:01:21,080
Speaker 1: late bloomer. I'm a you know, it takes me time

1147
01:01:21,280 --> 01:01:25,280
Speaker 1: to figure things out in every realm. And you know,

1148
01:01:25,280 --> 01:01:28,280
Speaker 1: I even think about the fact that, like I met

1149
01:01:28,320 --> 01:01:30,760
Speaker 1: my best friend in the world when we were twenty seven,

1150
01:01:31,560 --> 01:01:35,520
Speaker 1: and like, okay, I've made some of my closest friends

1151
01:01:35,520 --> 01:01:38,680
Speaker 1: in the last ten years, in the last five years.

1152
01:01:38,680 --> 01:01:41,640
Speaker 1: It's like it it just happens when it happens, and

1153
01:01:41,720 --> 01:01:45,200
Speaker 1: I think especially for young people, they feel this pressure

1154
01:01:45,280 --> 01:01:48,240
Speaker 1: like they're supposed to have it all figured out, and

1155
01:01:48,320 --> 01:01:51,240
Speaker 1: if we can help alleviate some of that, it feels exciting.

1156
01:01:51,640 --> 01:01:54,240
Speaker 2: I mean, there's really why twenty four I was a

1157
01:01:54,280 --> 01:01:56,680
Speaker 2: part of the pyramid scheme because I didn't know what

1158
01:01:56,720 --> 01:01:58,360
Speaker 2: I wanted to do in my life, you know. I

1159
01:01:58,400 --> 01:02:01,880
Speaker 2: mean I think about that now eight years ago and

1160
01:02:01,880 --> 01:02:05,160
Speaker 2: how much my life has evolved, and I'm like, I

1161
01:02:05,160 --> 01:02:07,000
Speaker 2: didn't know what I wanted to do. At twenty four.

1162
01:02:07,560 --> 01:02:12,560
Speaker 2: I had done pharmaceutical sales, real estate, sports broadcasting, fitness,

1163
01:02:13,040 --> 01:02:16,760
Speaker 2: softball camps, all before I stumbled into what I actually love,

1164
01:02:16,800 --> 01:02:18,880
Speaker 2: which is comedy. And I didn't stumble into this since

1165
01:02:18,920 --> 01:02:21,120
Speaker 2: I was thirty. So it takes time.

1166
01:02:22,240 --> 01:02:26,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that I think is actually when that realization

1167
01:02:26,240 --> 01:02:29,400
Speaker 1: hits you, it kind of flips everything on its head, right,

1168
01:02:29,480 --> 01:02:34,120
Speaker 1: Like when you realize how time is really what it takes.

1169
01:02:34,240 --> 01:02:38,280
Speaker 1: Suddenly everything gets more fun. Aging is more fun, like

1170
01:02:38,360 --> 01:02:41,200
Speaker 1: thinking about the future because who knows what's going to

1171
01:02:41,280 --> 01:02:45,160
Speaker 1: happen next year. You know, it's so cool when you

1172
01:02:45,200 --> 01:02:48,160
Speaker 1: think about it, and you know, obviously you're focused on

1173
01:02:48,200 --> 01:02:50,800
Speaker 1: the present, You're you're literally on tour. You're very busy,

1174
01:02:50,880 --> 01:02:54,720
Speaker 1: But when you think about that bigger picture stuff, is

1175
01:02:54,760 --> 01:02:57,800
Speaker 1: there something that feels like a work in progress for you?

1176
01:02:58,600 --> 01:03:01,440
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, I it's acting. For me.

1177
01:03:01,600 --> 01:03:05,080
Speaker 2: Acting has always been just since I was a little girl.

1178
01:03:05,400 --> 01:03:08,280
Speaker 2: I just I've never watched movies through the lens of

1179
01:03:08,360 --> 01:03:12,200
Speaker 2: like enjoyment. I've watched them through the limbs of which

1180
01:03:12,320 --> 01:03:13,280
Speaker 2: character would I play?

1181
01:03:13,800 --> 01:03:14,919
Speaker 1: Oh, my gosh.

1182
01:03:15,160 --> 01:03:15,680
Speaker 3: And so I.

1183
01:03:17,400 --> 01:03:22,080
Speaker 2: Taking acting classes and I booked my first role two

1184
01:03:22,160 --> 01:03:24,280
Speaker 2: years ago. It just came out in point twenty five,

1185
01:03:25,880 --> 01:03:27,640
Speaker 2: and so that's like the work in progress for me

1186
01:03:27,760 --> 01:03:29,440
Speaker 2: is I would love to be able to be in

1187
01:03:30,360 --> 01:03:33,480
Speaker 2: comedy movies and be able to kind of bring back

1188
01:03:33,520 --> 01:03:36,280
Speaker 2: that element of like the Eddie Murphy, the Robin Williams,

1189
01:03:36,280 --> 01:03:38,760
Speaker 2: where they get to play a character that's similar to

1190
01:03:38,800 --> 01:03:41,800
Speaker 2: themselves but then also a character like the nutty professor,

1191
01:03:41,880 --> 01:03:45,680
Speaker 2: so they're kind of playing a dual persona. Yeah, I

1192
01:03:45,800 --> 01:03:48,920
Speaker 2: just love that nineteen nineties comedy scene.

1193
01:03:49,080 --> 01:03:50,360
Speaker 3: So that's that is my work.

1194
01:03:50,560 --> 01:03:55,800
Speaker 1: To listen, there's something in the air. I said last year,

1195
01:03:55,840 --> 01:03:57,680
Speaker 1: all I want to do is rom comms. I want

1196
01:03:57,720 --> 01:04:00,920
Speaker 1: I want nineties rom comms. And I'm literally at the

1197
01:04:01,000 --> 01:04:02,959
Speaker 1: end of last year and right now in Cape Town,

1198
01:04:03,160 --> 01:04:09,680
Speaker 1: back to back old nostalgia like nineties era rom coms.

1199
01:04:10,000 --> 01:04:14,640
Speaker 1: So yes, let's speak this into existence. I love it.

1200
01:04:15,120 --> 01:04:16,000
Speaker 3: Amen's sister