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Speaker 1: This is Kelly Henderson, and you were listening to the

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Speaker 1: Velvet Edge podcast. What if I told you that all

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Speaker 1: of your dreams are actually possible if you truly want

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Speaker 1: to make them happen. That dream, job, the relationship, the

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Speaker 1: happiness and satisfaction that we all want. According to author

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Speaker 1: Lauren Xander, the reason our dreams aren't actually happening has

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Speaker 1: nothing to do with anyone or anything going on around us.

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Speaker 1: But it has everything to do with us. Lauren wrote

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Speaker 1: the book Maybe It's You, where she teaches readers the

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Speaker 1: art of dreaming. If you are aware of your dreams,

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Speaker 1: do you know the steps you need to take to

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Speaker 1: get them? Or maybe you're like me and you don't

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Speaker 1: even know what some of your dreams are yet. Lauren

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Speaker 1: is here to help and gave me the full lowdown

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Speaker 1: in our conversation. Here's Lauren. Okay, So, as I was

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Speaker 1: saying to you, I've been reading the book, the book

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Speaker 1: is Maybe It's You, and I have to tell you.

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Speaker 1: I you know, I've done a lot of therapy. I

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Speaker 1: like to think of myself as pretty self aware, and

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Speaker 1: then I started reading this book and I thought, holy

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Speaker 1: sh it, I can't believe. Yeah, the reasons some the

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Speaker 1: things that I want aren't happening in my life is

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Speaker 1: totally my own fault. Yes, And fault is not a

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Speaker 1: dirty word. It's more like like I I actually have

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Speaker 1: used that. It's like a fault line, like the fault

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Speaker 1: line in the world, like where the to tonic lights met, right, Like,

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Speaker 1: there's there's fault. Yes, that's true, you were raised poor

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Speaker 1: or your father left, Like, there's fault. But that's not

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Speaker 1: a reason. Okay, that's that's like, No, that's where you

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Speaker 1: have to know your cavities so that you can evolve

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Speaker 1: from there. Right, because everyone has ship, right, Like we've

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Speaker 1: all gone through stuff or had our own experiences that

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Speaker 1: make us react in certain ways. But the whole point

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Speaker 1: of this book, for what I'm what I took away

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Speaker 1: from it was you can still create the life you want.

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Speaker 1: You got to start with the dark to create the light.

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Speaker 1: Not that okay, right, And I really don't think dark.

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Speaker 1: You know, I equate dark with nighttime, right, Like that's

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Speaker 1: not bad, it's just dark. Yeah, you need and you need. Right.

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Speaker 1: So there's a way we don't like to talk about

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Speaker 1: the way we lie, the way we you know, fired someone,

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Speaker 1: the way we yelled the way like we don't like

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Speaker 1: having ship yeah, And so then that forces us to

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Speaker 1: lie and blame right and explain away that like you

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Speaker 1: made me right. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: have yeah, right. And so that is the source of

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Speaker 1: why we lose our power, because we don't own our

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Speaker 1: dark side. So you've created this whole method, it's called

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Speaker 1: the handle method. And you, first of all, I mean,

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Speaker 1: you're basing this off of your own experience in life,

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Speaker 1: right Like. It's not like you're just looking at everyone

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Speaker 1: else saying, oh, well, this is what's wrong with you guys,

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Speaker 1: let me help, let me help you fix it. Yeah, no,

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Speaker 1: it was I was my first guinea pig. What happened?

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Speaker 1: I really was, you know I I was such an asshole? Wow? Um.

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Speaker 1: So I cheated my way through all of high school,

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Speaker 1: like actually cheated. So, yes, literally cheated. You want to

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Speaker 1: know how I cheated? I was raised Orthodox Jew, which

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Speaker 1: means I knew Hebrew. And if you understand Hebrew, it's

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Speaker 1: the alphabet in a different like letters, right like it's

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Speaker 1: the B is a bet right. And I used to

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Speaker 1: be able to write out all my answers in phonetic Hebrew, right,

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Speaker 1: So even if someone knew Hebrew, they couldn't figure out

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Speaker 1: what the hell I did. And I could lay the

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Speaker 1: sheet out on the floor in front of me and

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Speaker 1: no one would know I ever cheated on every exam.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's pretty crazy. I mean for effort,

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Speaker 1: you know, as for snake, right and um, and so

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Speaker 1: you know I and no one knew it, right. So

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Speaker 1: then getting clapped for when you're a liar right made

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Speaker 1: me feel so cold? Right? So, and then I cheated

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Speaker 1: to talk never minded. I cheat everywhere in school. I

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Speaker 1: also cheated on every boyfriend I had. Okay, right, like

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Speaker 1: I was like what you didn't know? Never hurt you

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Speaker 1: was the philosophy, right, and so I and no one

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Speaker 1: ever caught me. Right. I was funny, I was adorable.

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Speaker 1: I was who they came like no one's even like no,

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Speaker 1: unless I went back and told everybody all my criminal behavior,

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Speaker 1: they never would have guessed it. So I was a

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Speaker 1: snake right that, and a snake you at least know

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Speaker 1: it's coming, so wow. So and then my big transformation

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Speaker 1: was when I figured out that I didn't look like

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Speaker 1: I didn't feel loved. I didn't when I said I

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Speaker 1: love you, I didn't feel it or mean it in

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Speaker 1: a way that you're supposed to write. So here I

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Speaker 1: was this badass captain of the team, like I was

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Speaker 1: this you know, persona that was fake the fuck And

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Speaker 1: I realized it was all my fault. That was the original.

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Speaker 1: Maybe it's me because you were letting yourself go there

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Speaker 1: because you weren't letting people in, Like what was your

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Speaker 1: first kind of realization? What did it come or what

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Speaker 1: did it look like? I couldn't feel. I wasn't happy

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Speaker 1: like I had the boyfriend, I had, the school I had,

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Speaker 1: did it like I had all the things, but was

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Speaker 1: like but on the inside, I was a lying, cold

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Speaker 1: manipulator ultimately right, and and I didn't really love my

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Speaker 1: best friend. And I didn't like I didn't feel or

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Speaker 1: my ideals were a farce. But no one knew it

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Speaker 1: except me. Wow. And I had a very spiritual experience

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Speaker 1: because I went to Israel by myself and traveled Europe

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Speaker 1: by myself by myself, like write me my five cassette tapes,

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Speaker 1: my backpack and just literally went out into the world,

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Speaker 1: stayed on a kibbutz for six weeks, and you know,

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Speaker 1: cook vegetarian food for three and fifty people, but there

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Speaker 1: was no one who really could speak English. So I

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Speaker 1: was like alone for the first time in my life.

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Speaker 1: And I had some really you know, magical experiences right

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Speaker 1: that that made me like break free of what an

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Speaker 1: asked whole I was. And I literally I don't recommend

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Speaker 1: this to anybody, but I came home and told the

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Speaker 1: truth to everyone, every boyfriend, every friend, every lie I

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Speaker 1: was holding for other people. I told the truth about school.

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Speaker 1: I told everyone who would. I sat my parents, my

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Speaker 1: orthodox Jewish parents, down and told them how many people

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Speaker 1: I had sex within their bed. Oh my God, Like

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Speaker 1: I blew up you into the opposite extreme. I literally

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Speaker 1: blew up who everyone thought I was so I could

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Speaker 1: feel alive again and be present and apologize and eat

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Speaker 1: crow and and be true to myself for the first

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Speaker 1: time in my life. So thus began the journey into creating. Now,

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Speaker 1: once you blew up who you were, you were like, okay,

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Speaker 1: well now I have to relearn how to live. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I had then it. Actually, you know, I had to

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Speaker 1: make new friends. Yeah, so completely starting over. I really

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Speaker 1: started over, like I started over, like I had not

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Speaker 1: like you know, and every one of those people that

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Speaker 1: I apologized to you know, um, you know at least

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Speaker 1: Facebook friends with now, right, So like I I like

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Speaker 1: really cried and really explained, like I like did I

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Speaker 1: made amends? Right, Like I went through it and until

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Speaker 1: you know, I was free and and owned, like so

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Speaker 1: I could say exactly what I'm saying right now in

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Speaker 1: a way that people would truly also want to come

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Speaker 1: clean maybe right and really start to understand that the

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Speaker 1: source of darkness and humans is the ability to live

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Speaker 1: for others. But really pretend you're doing it to keep

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Speaker 1: your mom happy, because you know, like we start to

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Speaker 1: keep secrets, we we believe it, and it locks us

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Speaker 1: into our personality. So it was my lives that had me,

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Speaker 1: not me who had my lives. And then that like

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Speaker 1: revelation blew myself into a way more present human being.

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Speaker 1: And then I started meditating, and then then I could

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Speaker 1: like be open to everything. Yeah. Yeah, So as as

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Speaker 1: you were going through that in your own your own process,

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Speaker 1: what were you what were you learning that you were like,

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Speaker 1: I have to go tell other people about this, and

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Speaker 1: like you had you felt like you needed to start

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Speaker 1: teaching other people about what you were learning. Um, that

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Speaker 1: didn't happen until like change. So I was an environmental

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Speaker 1: studies major, and I really was like early late eighties,

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Speaker 1: I was you know, you people are killing my goddamn planet, right,

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Speaker 1: like you guys, Like I like, oh my god, right

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Speaker 1: like you at all. So I wasn't like I was

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Speaker 1: not very good at science, but I was, um devoted

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Speaker 1: to save the planet and save the water and save

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Speaker 1: the seals and save every time. Right. And then it

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Speaker 1: was like the work, Like I hated the work, yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I thought that that was what work was and um,

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Speaker 1: and then I realized that the way it felt was

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Speaker 1: so wrong, Like this can't be my fulfillment, right, I

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Speaker 1: can't hate my career because it's right, right, someone has

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Speaker 1: to do it right. And then what I realized when

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Speaker 1: I was twenty two, um, and now I'm I'm turning fifty. Um.

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Speaker 1: When I was twenty two, I realized that I was saved.

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Speaker 1: The trees killed the people. And then I had the revelation, oh,

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Speaker 1: people don't see the trees, right, It's not the tree.

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Speaker 1: The trees are going to be fine, right, The humans

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Speaker 1: aren't gonna make it right. And so then I I

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Speaker 1: really had the biggest cry of my life. I can

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Speaker 1: remember it and I really apologized to my parents was

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Speaker 1: studying the wrong thing. And I became like, I, you know,

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Speaker 1: decided I was headed for self help right, Like, I

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Speaker 1: wasn't going to go back to school because that's not

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Speaker 1: my forte, but I was going to go to wherever

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Speaker 1: people were doing self help this. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I

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Speaker 1: left a great job at the United Nations that I

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Speaker 1: thought was my dream and it was really a nightmare.

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Speaker 1: And I told the truth about that, quit that and

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Speaker 1: got my first job itself help. Wow. And then my

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Speaker 1: joke was I ran away from that cop I ran

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Speaker 1: away from that company screaming eventually, but thank god I

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Speaker 1: stayed there and learned everything I learned there because it

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Speaker 1: helped me figure out what I would do that was

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Speaker 1: basically the opposite of that. Yeah. So the Handle method

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Speaker 1: you say in your book is a step by step

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Speaker 1: coaching process that addresses one's entire life. It teaches people

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Speaker 1: how to dream, how to realize every last one of

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Speaker 1: their dreams, and how to clean out their closets, both

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Speaker 1: literal and figurative, so that they can have the lives

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Speaker 1: that they're wildly proud of. So you've put this now

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Speaker 1: into this book. Why does this method work. What's been

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Speaker 1: your experience? Why does this work? Um? Because I, first

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Speaker 1: of all, I'm in love with human beings. I think

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Speaker 1: we're epic. We can change it, like we're epic? Um?

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Speaker 1: What we don't have language or processes that help us

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Speaker 1: be true to ourselves? Right there? Like my, you know,

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Speaker 1: we're so busy teaching our kids algebra, math Christopher Columbus,

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Speaker 1: Like read every book that was read before you like

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Speaker 1: the like the way we teach grow up as a

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Speaker 1: human has zero being education? Oh my god, I so

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Speaker 1: agree with that. Right And and you know, people don't

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Speaker 1: even know how to pick their lover, People don't know

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Speaker 1: how to talk about sex, people don't know how to

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Speaker 1: figure out their own values. I'm so the entire method

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Speaker 1: is a construct to get you to answer all the

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Speaker 1: questions of your higher self and conquer your lower off.

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Speaker 1: Your lower self says, get back, you know, roll over,

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Speaker 1: don't go for a run. Don't tell them to touch

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Speaker 1: you there. Uh, don't tell your boss you want this,

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Speaker 1: don't do that you'll get like. So fear rules, society,

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Speaker 1: you could say, and freedom and free flags and go

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Speaker 1: be true to yourself. Um is not taught. And so

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Speaker 1: I have been pioneering how to get a human to

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Speaker 1: to develop their own language, on on what they want,

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Speaker 1: on who they are, on what what works about you,

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Speaker 1: what doesn't work about you? Like and when you say

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Speaker 1: it yourself and you know yourself, that's the act of

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Speaker 1: loving yourself. And I can teach courage, and I can

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Speaker 1: teach promises, and I can teach like. Then I can

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Speaker 1: teach you what I know that makes all of us great.

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Speaker 1: And it's not about what I mean. It's not about

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Speaker 1: it all beating yourself up. It's like what you said

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Speaker 1: about just getting honest with yourself. I teach people to

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Speaker 1: have a an epic sense of humor about being human.

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Speaker 1: What do you mean? Um? No, one, everyone feels like.

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Speaker 1: One of the things I teach is that we think

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Speaker 1: feeling bad when you don't do something you said you

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Speaker 1: would do is like a way like that suffering is

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Speaker 1: like a cleansing good thing versus bullshit, Like feeling bad

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Speaker 1: is bullshit. Like if you're going to watch Netflix still

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Speaker 1: two in the morning, have fun, right, do you understand

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Speaker 1: instead of beating yourself up over everything, like literally you're

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Speaker 1: eating the bag of chips while you're watching till two

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Speaker 1: in the morning and then you feel like shit about

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Speaker 1: yourself and as if that's going to inspire you not

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Speaker 1: to do it the next time. Right, So we learn

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Speaker 1: to loathe ourselves for the actions we're taking that we

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Speaker 1: don't respect, and as if that loathing did anything but

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Speaker 1: get another bag of chips the next night, because I

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Speaker 1: think you're really just sucked. And then you make up

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Speaker 1: theories about yourself that you know, my mother was never

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Speaker 1: good at it, I'll never be good at it. Right,

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Speaker 1: So then we have these theories that I call weather reports,

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Speaker 1: like we weather report ourselves, except we don't believe in

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Speaker 1: ourselves too, that it's really one day at a time

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Speaker 1: and nothing's true. Nothing's true about any of us. Nothing.

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Speaker 1: What you did yesterday doesn't mean anything about today. Now,

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Speaker 1: it really is predictable if you're still there saying the

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Speaker 1: same thing in that head of yours that you'll do

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Speaker 1: the exacting yesterday. Yes, there's science that backs that up.

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Speaker 1: But if I could get my hands on you, you

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Speaker 1: have the ability to make and key promises to yourself

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Speaker 1: with you know, with a consequence, right, I need If

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Speaker 1: I need a consequence, you need to come right, And

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Speaker 1: consequences are are what I say is using the dark

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Speaker 1: for light. Right, Like when I wanted to um meditate

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Speaker 1: twice a day, right, it was very simple. Here's how

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Speaker 1: I made sure I meditated twice a day for my

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Speaker 1: I only did ten minutes, everybody, I didn't do the

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Speaker 1: twenty right, But what I did was I said no

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Speaker 1: coffee till I meditated, and no screen time till I meditated.

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Speaker 1: Do you have any idea how easy it was to

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Speaker 1: do my meditation? That was easy. You wanted the coffee

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Speaker 1: and you wanted the screen time. Yes. So then what

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Speaker 1: did meditating become a habit? Um I met? Yeah? I

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Speaker 1: mean I do something else now, I really manifest I

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Speaker 1: do something right, something different. But I love meditation. I

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Speaker 1: believe in meditation. I meditated for five years straight, like

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Speaker 1: I have done that, But I now do I do art?

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Speaker 1: I make art instead, Right, I should do something different now,

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Speaker 1: but and I love it. But it's like a meditation process. Okay,

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Speaker 1: But yes, when I Emily Fletcher is a very good

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Speaker 1: friend of mine and a teacher that I love, and

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Speaker 1: um I promised, I brought her into my company to

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Speaker 1: teach meditation to everybody and do it true day and

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Speaker 1: then we all took it on for six weeks straight,

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Speaker 1: and so then I was in on it for six

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Speaker 1: weeks straight. So it's like, you know, I love flavors

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Speaker 1: of lots of flavors of people's ability to teach great ships.

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Speaker 1: So can we talk about how you teach people how

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Speaker 1: to learn how to dream though, because that is a

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Speaker 1: part of this whole process and what you were just

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Speaker 1: talking about, you know, like you do have to reward yourself.

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Speaker 1: And I want to get into the weather report stuff

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Speaker 1: that you talk about later, but but first, do you

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Speaker 1: see a consistent theme amongst your clients or people who

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Speaker 1: read this book on why we have a hard time

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Speaker 1: even knowing what our dreams are? Yes, there's a few

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Speaker 1: good there's a few good answers. Okay, okay, the first

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Speaker 1: is really sad, So everybody, you know, hold your breathfast. Second, okay, everybody,

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Speaker 1: here we go. Um, according to science, I could tell

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Speaker 1: you of the study. But according to science, human beings,

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Speaker 1: over eighty percent of our thoughts are negative. Wow, over

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Speaker 1: eight way, it gets worse. But that's not even the

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Speaker 1: worst part. Ready for the worst part, Okay, I guess

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Speaker 1: and repeating from the day before, So just what you

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Speaker 1: were actually just talking about. Yeah, So like you know,

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Speaker 1: like the person who has road rage and right and

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Speaker 1: drives down and gets pissed at everybody drive. Everybody's driving,

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Speaker 1: you know, they do it every time they're driving right,

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Speaker 1: and every time you go into the refrigerator and you're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you know I should eat that apple, but look it's

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Speaker 1: my kids, right pudding, Right, I deserve that. Today was hard? Right?

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Speaker 1: Like how many did right? So we are logic. We

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Speaker 1: don't witness our logic and our negative thoughts about ourselves

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Speaker 1: or what's happening are repeating and proving themselves every day.

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Speaker 1: We were just along for the ride. So because we're

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Speaker 1: not engaged in taking over our inner dialogue, we don't

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Speaker 1: hear how dismal it is, you understand, So we don't

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Speaker 1: even we're not realizing we're doing any of that stuff. No,

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Speaker 1: we really subconscious. It's it's it's subconscious and it validates itself. Right.

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Speaker 1: It isn't that you aren't going to work and being

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Speaker 1: a great nice person, Like there's many things about each

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Speaker 1: of us that is naturally positive. And just like it

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Speaker 1: takes nothing for you to be nice or kind of

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Speaker 1: every star books for you know, like anywhere you go,

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Speaker 1: like no one can make you stop that and it's

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Speaker 1: natural for you. Right, there's also dark ship that you

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Speaker 1: can't stop. Like the positive doesn't stop either. It's just

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Speaker 1: we don't have enough of what we want. That's really positive, okay, right,

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Speaker 1: And so the greatest interrupter to all of this is

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Speaker 1: to ask a person to have a vision for not

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Speaker 1: just the three areas of life. Everybody that focuses on

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Speaker 1: what are the thris. Everyone focuses on your relationship, your

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Speaker 1: love life, your career, making money, and your health if

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Speaker 1: it's you know, and then your children and then maybe

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Speaker 1: that your family, like but like fun and adventure, learning,

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Speaker 1: like really making money, really having the career of your dreams, Like,

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Speaker 1: no one's really Everyone thinks they're like, well, because my

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Speaker 1: dad was this guy and I have right, we all

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Speaker 1: have all our logic for why we can't have epic dreams.

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Speaker 1: And so to ask a person to start to dream,

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Speaker 1: like I have never um read, a dream might eat

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Speaker 1: No matter how successful the person is, that doesn't come

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Speaker 1: with all their fears riddled in their dream like that.

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Speaker 1: My husband and I get good at having difficult conversations. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, like that sounds positive, but can you hear

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Speaker 1: what the woman really right. I thought that was so

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Speaker 1: interesting because in the book you give throughout the book

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Speaker 1: you're giving examples of a couple of your clients experience,

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Speaker 1: which was super helpful to me because I could see

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Speaker 1: myself in so many of the things that they did

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Speaker 1: and I did. I just wasn't aware, like you said,

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Speaker 1: I just wasn't aware of the voices in my head

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Speaker 1: and so much of um what their first dreams would be.

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Speaker 1: We're very much just like yes, riddled in fear or um,

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Speaker 1: kind of putting the blame on someone else or just

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Speaker 1: making the excuse and kind of like, ah, I hope

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Speaker 1: maybe you know I could get this or you know,

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Speaker 1: something like that, which I thought was so fascinating. Yes,

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Speaker 1: we are. If I said, tell me all the reasons

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Speaker 1: you can't have your dream you could write so I

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Speaker 1: could write a full novel about it. Yes, if I

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Speaker 1: tell you to write all the reasons you can have

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Speaker 1: your dreams, you will find a pity party starts to form.

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Speaker 1: Do you want to know what my first reaction was

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Speaker 1: is I've never been good at dreaming, I thought. And

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Speaker 1: then I read that that was like pretty common, Um,

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Speaker 1: I thought, I thought to myself, because I know, you know,

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Speaker 1: I know certain people, um who from a young age

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Speaker 1: have been like, I know that I want to do

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Speaker 1: this with my life, and I've just really never felt

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Speaker 1: that way, Like I've had certain things I like more

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Speaker 1: than others, but I immediately responded with, what, I don't

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Speaker 1: know where my dreams are, because you know, I completely

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Speaker 1: downplayed any sort of success I've had as maybe I

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Speaker 1: just looked into it or something. Yes, it's it's one

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Speaker 1: of the most um convenient ways to never have to

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Speaker 1: know yourself deeply. What do you mean so you I

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Speaker 1: want you to know if you if you got stuck

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Speaker 1: with me for a little while, and I read your hauntings,

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Speaker 1: and I read your parent traits, and then I read

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Speaker 1: the dreams you write, Like when you do the first exercise,

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Speaker 1: write the whole first thing, what you will find is

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Speaker 1: the way you tracked yourself into your lower self that

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Speaker 1: doesn't believe what the higher self came to do, Like

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Speaker 1: it's a battle between dark and light, high your self,

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Speaker 1: lower self, and yeah, and in your lower self, you

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Speaker 1: can hear your higher self dream. But we never sit

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Speaker 1: down and study ourselves, Like what could be more cool

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Speaker 1: than to fall in love with our issues and our dreams. Right,

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Speaker 1: but you know how much time have you spent writing

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Speaker 1: out your dreams learning how to really understand yourself? Like

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Speaker 1: we have zero? Right, And if I even ask you

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Speaker 1: to spend a day on it, it it would like to

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Speaker 1: seem in the exhausting tale. Right. But if I said,

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Speaker 1: you know, do you have kids, do you want your

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Speaker 1: kids to have their dreams? You want them to get

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Speaker 1: prolific a dreaming or do you want them to tell

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Speaker 1: you why the world doesn't except dreams? Wow? Yeah, it's

391
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Speaker 1: like it's so sad, and it's so the opposite of

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Speaker 1: who were meant to be. It's so true about the

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Speaker 1: immediately when because there's twelve different areas of your life

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Speaker 1: that you talk about dreaming, which our self body loves, spirituality, career, money, time, home, family, friends,

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Speaker 1: fun and adventure, community and contribution. And I read that

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Speaker 1: list and I thought, it just seems so daunting. It

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Speaker 1: was like I'm supposed to write a dream for all

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Speaker 1: of these things, and like that in and of itself

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Speaker 1: felt a little exhausting to me. You're right, Like that

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Speaker 1: was my immediate response. But then I also read it

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Speaker 1: and I thought, I can't, I cannot tell you what

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Speaker 1: my dreams are in a lot of those areas at

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Speaker 1: this point, so obviously I need to do this, Yes,

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Speaker 1: and then what happens? Here's the beauty of doing it. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I know no, no one has to believe me, but

406
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Speaker 1: but it's I swear true. Um, when you write your

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Speaker 1: dreams and you connect to them spiritually, emotionally and physically,

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Speaker 1: like okay, like I'm sitting down, I'm writing this, I'm

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Speaker 1: looking for it. I'm following these instructions. I'm taking the

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Speaker 1: time to really ask myself how to fulfill on my

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Speaker 1: life's mission, Like what's my life's mission? Right? Um, what

412
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Speaker 1: no one expects is that when your head says you're exhausted,

413
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Speaker 1: you feel exhausted. When your head says I want to

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Speaker 1: make twice as much money next year, providence moves to right,

415
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Speaker 1: Like the world doesn't work the way we literally think

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Speaker 1: it does. Like hammer a nail. If I don't hammer

417
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Speaker 1: the nail, it won't stick to the wall. Right. No,

418
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Speaker 1: the inner dialogue is always going to sleep. It's conjuring,

419
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Speaker 1: it's talking to itself. When it's singing a song, it's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: we are so much more spiritual than we've ever known. Right,

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Speaker 1: And we don't have any access to it. We don't

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Speaker 1: tap in, we don't have language for it. Right, and

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Speaker 1: religion has done such a fuck up number nothing personal

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Speaker 1: to anyone who loves it and it's working for them.

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Speaker 1: But there's there's this way it does. It's like God

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Speaker 1: is outside of you, like pray to that and and

427
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:39,840
Speaker 1: like get on your knees people versus that that it's

428
00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:45,880
Speaker 1: inside of you, right, your spirituality, your soul, your love

429
00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:50,359
Speaker 1: of yourself, your aspirations, your mission. If you don't talk

430
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:55,120
Speaker 1: to it, it can't rule you. Right, more people check

431
00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 1: out astrology than they ask themselves what's most important to that?

432
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:05,000
Speaker 1: M I'm probably guilty of that. I didn't say don't

433
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:07,719
Speaker 1: like astrology, and I didn't say don't pray and attempt

434
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:13,440
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It's true we don't have language,

435
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:18,480
Speaker 1: and we don't force ourselves to have language inside of

436
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:21,199
Speaker 1: our like we don't take over our inner dialogue, and

437
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:23,640
Speaker 1: then we don't even hear the one that's in there.

438
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:26,000
Speaker 1: And then if I literally could get you to hear

439
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:28,119
Speaker 1: the one that's in there, I can get you to

440
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:31,360
Speaker 1: take it over and really start to get that that

441
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:36,320
Speaker 1: is the most critical place to create your life from

442
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:39,040
Speaker 1: when you say to yourself, how you talk to yourself,

443
00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:43,960
Speaker 1: and no one understands that it's so relative in there. Right,

444
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:47,000
Speaker 1: if you decide your husband's hot, you'll sleep with him tonight.

445
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:49,320
Speaker 1: If your husband should have done X, Y and Z

446
00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:53,000
Speaker 1: six months ago, you're allowed to deprive him of sex,

447
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:55,480
Speaker 1: And then you never wonder about your own sexuality. It's

448
00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 1: his fault. That was really interesting. And there's a lot

449
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:02,480
Speaker 1: about relation and ships in this book, and so and

450
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:04,359
Speaker 1: I've seen this in my own life. I see this

451
00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:08,160
Speaker 1: in my friend's life. But where you're unhappy in a situation,

452
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:11,399
Speaker 1: yet you are just holding onto the bad as the

453
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:14,520
Speaker 1: reasons why you're doing everything you're doing, and you're not

454
00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:18,720
Speaker 1: actually doing anything to change the nature of the relationship. Yeah,

455
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:21,399
Speaker 1: and then you don't also come clean because you already

456
00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:24,800
Speaker 1: decided they can't handle the truth, you know, right, every

457
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:28,439
Speaker 1: every everyone thinks of you know, what's his face? Jack Nicholsonemae.

458
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:34,280
Speaker 1: And it's like we are crazy with what we believe

459
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:38,920
Speaker 1: that has never hit the light of day. Yeah. So

460
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:41,880
Speaker 1: you say in the book maybe that that you have

461
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:45,080
Speaker 1: some good news and some bad news for people, And

462
00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:48,360
Speaker 1: it's the part about that maybe it's you. You know,

463
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:51,920
Speaker 1: the maybe part is just an outright lie, like it's

464
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:56,760
Speaker 1: it's you, it's just you to talk about that. Um,

465
00:28:57,240 --> 00:29:01,080
Speaker 1: it was always a joke I made, like um originally

466
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:04,440
Speaker 1: from like why don't I feel loved? Right back in

467
00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:07,760
Speaker 1: the day? Why do I feel like I don't trust anyone? Right?

468
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:10,920
Speaker 1: Like why do I like, Oh I'm not trustworthy? Right?

469
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,840
Speaker 1: Like why don't I feel love? I don't really love

470
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:17,200
Speaker 1: anyone because I won't tell them the truth like oh shit,

471
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:23,000
Speaker 1: maybe it's me, right, like and then when you and

472
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:25,840
Speaker 1: then I say that first about everything, like I still

473
00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:29,760
Speaker 1: need that tagline everyone be clear. This isn't going the

474
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:32,200
Speaker 1: way I wanted to. And instead of going it's my

475
00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:37,560
Speaker 1: husband's fault, it's my kid's fault, right, I'm like, oh,

476
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:40,520
Speaker 1: maybe it's me, right, and then you rip the maybe

477
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:43,080
Speaker 1: off like companion and then you go, if it's me,

478
00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:45,040
Speaker 1: I can do something about it, Like what do I

479
00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:46,680
Speaker 1: need to do about it? Like what do I need?

480
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:48,760
Speaker 1: Like I need a good cry? I need to figure

481
00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 1: out what my dream is here. I need to share

482
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:53,280
Speaker 1: my dream with my sixteen year old daughter right like

483
00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:56,760
Speaker 1: oh shit, right, like nothing's fixed. Nothing is the way

484
00:29:56,800 --> 00:30:00,800
Speaker 1: my head says it is so that's why it's good

485
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:04,880
Speaker 1: news though, because it's that you actually have things that

486
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:08,440
Speaker 1: you can do about your unhappiness. That is the whole,

487
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:11,600
Speaker 1: Like there is nothing fixed about which you know, I

488
00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:14,440
Speaker 1: just I helped, you know, I just um, you know,

489
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:18,960
Speaker 1: I helped a very famous guy lose a hundred pounds.

490
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 1: But he like you know, and he's he's turning fifty

491
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:25,520
Speaker 1: if he's never lost the word, right, and he just

492
00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:28,200
Speaker 1: lost a hundred pounds and he has a girl like.

493
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:33,000
Speaker 1: The dream also is so critical because it then gives

494
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:38,840
Speaker 1: you the what for for changing your behaviors, right, the motivator,

495
00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:42,600
Speaker 1: it's like, and if you're not motivated to lose the weight,

496
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:45,720
Speaker 1: and if you're not motivated, it's like you want like

497
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:49,000
Speaker 1: everyone wants millions of dollars, No one wouldn't raise their hands,

498
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:51,880
Speaker 1: but no one wants to do the work. Right. It

499
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,480
Speaker 1: isn't There isn't a chick in the world that doesn't

500
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:58,120
Speaker 1: want to be some size, you know, sexier and cuter,

501
00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:00,880
Speaker 1: that jumps into jeans and likes to be importunity. We

502
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:06,120
Speaker 1: all raise our head, yes, I would like that, right, right,

503
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:09,200
Speaker 1: And then if you don't have a dream about what

504
00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:12,520
Speaker 1: it is to be healthy and vital and sexy and free.

505
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:15,560
Speaker 1: You will not do the work, You will not learn

506
00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:19,520
Speaker 1: to love, you know, spin class, right, Like those people

507
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:24,240
Speaker 1: that are in there have a vision for their whole life, right,

508
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:29,680
Speaker 1: and so some people are born with it. I certainly wasn't. Yeah, right,

509
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:32,840
Speaker 1: and so then you can vote. But we all have

510
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:38,080
Speaker 1: the ability. And it's so we were saying earlier, you

511
00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:40,080
Speaker 1: know that everyone's kind of got their ship or you've

512
00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:43,400
Speaker 1: had your relationships, like I know, immediately for me when

513
00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:45,400
Speaker 1: I was reading some of these dreams, I was like, right, like,

514
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:48,800
Speaker 1: what if you're in a relationship with an asshole or

515
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:52,080
Speaker 1: what if your parents were abusive and you're not saying like,

516
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:56,840
Speaker 1: oh that's okay, or you have no reason to be upset,

517
00:31:57,200 --> 00:32:00,280
Speaker 1: like it's not taking responsibility for those people's behavior, but

518
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:05,760
Speaker 1: you're just saying to take your power back. Well, you know,

519
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:10,680
Speaker 1: I probably think that you're faan. Like the only thing

520
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:16,680
Speaker 1: that was you know, I'll call it God given was

521
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:21,920
Speaker 1: you know what you look like, your family like, your mom,

522
00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:26,160
Speaker 1: dad's siblings, you know the culture you were born into,

523
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:29,880
Speaker 1: right like, and all of those characteristics. So I do

524
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:34,960
Speaker 1: believe that lineage, which is the history of all of

525
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:38,120
Speaker 1: our histories that we were born into. That the one

526
00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:41,400
Speaker 1: of the most powerful shifts I ever made is stop

527
00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 1: feeling like like who asked for this ship? But like,

528
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:47,800
Speaker 1: oh I asked for it? Like these this is like

529
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:50,520
Speaker 1: this is my this is what I came here for.

530
00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:54,880
Speaker 1: I came here to work on my family, my lineage,

531
00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:59,800
Speaker 1: my body, my love. Right, Like, so I actually believe

532
00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:02,840
Speaker 1: we chose those things even though we don't remember being

533
00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:07,800
Speaker 1: invited to the party. Does that make sense? So we

534
00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:12,280
Speaker 1: were born and your gifts and I also but also

535
00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:15,680
Speaker 1: in there is your your greatest mission for fulfilling on

536
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:19,040
Speaker 1: your life? Yeah? Why are you here? Yeah? So there's

537
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:21,479
Speaker 1: like two movies that I think sum it up if

538
00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:25,520
Speaker 1: anybody wants to get a good laugh, Like two movies

539
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:31,120
Speaker 1: that mimic it. One is defending your life and the

540
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:36,280
Speaker 1: other it's ethically it's like Goofy from the eighties. Um,

541
00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 1: and it's Albert Brooks but pretty and Meryl Streep is

542
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:44,440
Speaker 1: in it, and um, you know, like it's a hysterical.

543
00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:48,440
Speaker 1: It's hysterical and it's a must see to get a

544
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:53,120
Speaker 1: good laugh at a perspective of what happens after you die. Right.

545
00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:56,200
Speaker 1: And then the other one that pretty much sums it

546
00:33:56,280 --> 00:34:00,520
Speaker 1: up is round Podcast Wait say that again. The two

547
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:03,720
Speaker 1: movies that basically sum up like the joke of being

548
00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:09,680
Speaker 1: alive are Groundhog Day, Groundhog Day, Yes, and Defending Your Life,

549
00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:12,560
Speaker 1: oh man, because ground on Day is just repeating the

550
00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:17,600
Speaker 1: same thing over and over and over until you get

551
00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:21,560
Speaker 1: the joke and that you'd rather live your best day

552
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:25,839
Speaker 1: no matter what and feel epic regardless of it's going

553
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:30,319
Speaker 1: to get you nowhere except the experience of being. And

554
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:33,520
Speaker 1: then the day he didn't care ever again, that he

555
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:34,919
Speaker 1: was just going to get up and do it again,

556
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:38,160
Speaker 1: like he stopped resisting the same as it ever was

557
00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 1: like talking aheads right. The day he got that was

558
00:34:42,239 --> 00:34:45,000
Speaker 1: the day it was never the same day again. So

559
00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:49,120
Speaker 1: it was like a catch twenty two beautifully done. And

560
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:52,120
Speaker 1: and so I really love that movie because it captures

561
00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:56,359
Speaker 1: the bad joke of Groundhog Day in your life, in

562
00:34:56,400 --> 00:35:00,640
Speaker 1: my life. And then Defending your Life is quickly like

563
00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:03,640
Speaker 1: you gotta watch it. I'm sorry, it's you know, it's

564
00:35:03,719 --> 00:35:08,080
Speaker 1: really it really nails the afterlife and it really makes

565
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:11,160
Speaker 1: fun of humans. Um, it makes fun of our love

566
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:14,799
Speaker 1: of food, like it has so many jokes in it

567
00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:22,239
Speaker 1: that it changed my life I'm definitely. It's so like

568
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:25,280
Speaker 1: you'll get you'll get that like, oh, that's a really

569
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:30,239
Speaker 1: good way to walk on earth, right, it's not that

570
00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:33,279
Speaker 1: I believe. You know, if you go, Lauren, would you

571
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:36,960
Speaker 1: meet your children's life on your your spiritual notions? I

572
00:35:37,040 --> 00:35:40,759
Speaker 1: would say no. And you go, well, then why do

573
00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:42,840
Speaker 1: you talk about them and have them? And I'm like,

574
00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:46,359
Speaker 1: because it makes life so much more um present and

575
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:51,959
Speaker 1: enjoyable and deep and deep and deep, so and then

576
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:55,000
Speaker 1: you know, I make people really, you know, you have

577
00:35:55,080 --> 00:36:00,080
Speaker 1: no idea how many people right off spirituality because you

578
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:02,840
Speaker 1: know they don't believe in religion, or they are stuck in,

579
00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:05,600
Speaker 1: you know, because they're gay because of it, like they

580
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:09,520
Speaker 1: like like they're they're outcasting there. It's like so boxed

581
00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:13,279
Speaker 1: in or the Catholic priests or like everyone has like

582
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:16,640
Speaker 1: the like all of that and all of that doesn't

583
00:36:16,719 --> 00:36:20,080
Speaker 1: let a person connect to their own definition of spirituality

584
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:23,000
Speaker 1: and what is it for you? And I don't think

585
00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:25,719
Speaker 1: anyone like we all want to invent what it is

586
00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:27,560
Speaker 1: to be a mother, what it is to have money,

587
00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:29,440
Speaker 1: what it is to be a sister or a brother,

588
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:31,120
Speaker 1: what it is to be a friend, what it is

589
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:34,799
Speaker 1: to care about your community, like we're missing the opportunity

590
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:41,080
Speaker 1: to invent for ourselves, like what life is for and

591
00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:43,560
Speaker 1: we just you know, you get yeah. I mean, well,

592
00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:46,040
Speaker 1: I'm just hearing so much of you saying of just

593
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:50,319
Speaker 1: living period, Like we have all these voices in our

594
00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:53,000
Speaker 1: head or whatever you want to call them, but we're

595
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:59,720
Speaker 1: not actually living and realizing our true like fulfilling lives,

596
00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:05,160
Speaker 1: let alone realizing you can take over your inner dialogue exactly. Well,

597
00:37:05,239 --> 00:37:07,000
Speaker 1: let's talk about that a little bit, because you kind

598
00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:11,000
Speaker 1: of touched on the weather stuff earlier, but this was

599
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:13,160
Speaker 1: this was a kind of a wow moment for me too,

600
00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:17,040
Speaker 1: because I think that I know somewhere internally that I

601
00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:20,279
Speaker 1: let fear drive a lot of what I do. But

602
00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:25,600
Speaker 1: reading about what you call the chicken voice, I was like,

603
00:37:25,719 --> 00:37:30,480
Speaker 1: oh my god, that is so it's that is so

604
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:34,360
Speaker 1: it for me to talk about what the chicken voices. Okay,

605
00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:39,080
Speaker 1: so there are you know, the voice of the chicken

606
00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:44,160
Speaker 1: is the voice of you know, don't say that, don't

607
00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:47,440
Speaker 1: hand what if you get it wrong. Don't tell them

608
00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:50,560
Speaker 1: why you were really late. Tell him this, you know,

609
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:53,200
Speaker 1: don't tell your friend you didn't invite her because you're mad.

610
00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:56,719
Speaker 1: Ator like the voice of the chicken is each is

611
00:37:56,760 --> 00:38:02,200
Speaker 1: always strategizing. Had to not get in trouble, had to

612
00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:07,800
Speaker 1: not upset anyone, how to not hurt people's feelings, how

613
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:12,239
Speaker 1: to get ahead by not telling the truth? Like it

614
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:17,280
Speaker 1: literally glorifies hide your voice in the name of keeping

615
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:19,640
Speaker 1: other people happy. I think in the book You Go,

616
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:25,080
Speaker 1: the chicken is just a pussy which maybe laugh out loud, yes,

617
00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:29,160
Speaker 1: it's it really is. Like if you watch a chicken,

618
00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:31,840
Speaker 1: it should be scared of everything because it's going to

619
00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:35,840
Speaker 1: get eaten by anyone who right, Like the world is

620
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:40,359
Speaker 1: a bunch of predators going to eat the chickens. Right,

621
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:44,640
Speaker 1: you got that? And so the way we interact with

622
00:38:44,719 --> 00:38:48,600
Speaker 1: the world at large is we're chickens. I mean, we're little,

623
00:38:48,719 --> 00:38:54,200
Speaker 1: we're um like everything about us is scared of not

624
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:56,440
Speaker 1: getting what we want. What's going to happen here? What

625
00:38:56,520 --> 00:38:58,359
Speaker 1: if I about yelled at me? What if she takes

626
00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:00,920
Speaker 1: away the car? What if she like? So we we

627
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:05,120
Speaker 1: become liars to keep everybody else happy, and we lose

628
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:08,839
Speaker 1: the voice of our true self. We don't even care

629
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:13,000
Speaker 1: about it. We're developing the voice of the chicken so

630
00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:20,040
Speaker 1: that we can get ahead, and that fear and strategizing,

631
00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:25,640
Speaker 1: like you know the amount people strategize and never even

632
00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:29,439
Speaker 1: have great sex with our own husband because they don't

633
00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:31,560
Speaker 1: want to hurt their feelings or tell the truth about

634
00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:34,279
Speaker 1: how they like it. Right, It's like, you know, and

635
00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:37,880
Speaker 1: then we're so awkward to find our own voice about

636
00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:42,240
Speaker 1: what we like, like we can't even have five sentences

637
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:46,600
Speaker 1: towards our own you know, body parts well because a

638
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:50,760
Speaker 1: lot of people might not even know. Again, there's no dream,

639
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:54,399
Speaker 1: there's no talking about it. Chicken bait. It's chicken bab

640
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:58,080
Speaker 1: based lodger. So a lot of the chicken voice is

641
00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:02,319
Speaker 1: the people pleaser voice that we know about. It's it's

642
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:07,120
Speaker 1: people pleaser, and it also uses your past. It uses

643
00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:12,200
Speaker 1: past precedence, like well, you've got in trouble that time, like,

644
00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:17,360
Speaker 1: so it builds a case, right, and it's it's you know,

645
00:40:17,440 --> 00:40:19,680
Speaker 1: there's our joke is that you know, it's a bunch

646
00:40:19,719 --> 00:40:23,799
Speaker 1: of squatters that like know what they know. And so

647
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:25,640
Speaker 1: therefore you can never have to have a relationship with

648
00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:28,000
Speaker 1: your father, and you can never ask that from your husband,

649
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:30,640
Speaker 1: and so you have to sneak and you come up

650
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:33,800
Speaker 1: with all these other strategies because fundamentally, you're a chicken

651
00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:37,440
Speaker 1: and you believe that the other person is more important

652
00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:39,719
Speaker 1: than you or you don't want to lose their love,

653
00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:42,480
Speaker 1: Like there's some way you put the other your boss

654
00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:46,200
Speaker 1: or someone on a pedestal and you're less set. And

655
00:40:46,239 --> 00:40:48,480
Speaker 1: then this is like the only way you can figure

656
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:54,600
Speaker 1: out how to not get Uh did you cut out? Lauren?

657
00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:58,920
Speaker 1: You say that? Say that last it cut out? This

658
00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:02,080
Speaker 1: is the part about you is your boss? How you

659
00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:04,279
Speaker 1: said figure out how to get and it cut out.

660
00:41:05,080 --> 00:41:09,120
Speaker 1: So what happens is is we become strategists and use

661
00:41:09,239 --> 00:41:11,520
Speaker 1: the voice of the chicken to come up with like

662
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:15,000
Speaker 1: how to get what we want given what we believe,

663
00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:17,399
Speaker 1: which is they're going to yell at us. They're never

664
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:19,439
Speaker 1: going to give us that day off. They don't care

665
00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:23,239
Speaker 1: about you know, you getting credit about that, so you

666
00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:26,359
Speaker 1: won't say, hey, I really want you to notice, right,

667
00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:31,799
Speaker 1: Like they won't even ask for acknowledge, right. Because so

668
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:34,000
Speaker 1: we have all these strategies of how do we get

669
00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:36,520
Speaker 1: what we want given the way we see the world,

670
00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:38,840
Speaker 1: which is there's big bad wolves everywhere are going to

671
00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:42,840
Speaker 1: eat us. Wow. And then we have a brat too,

672
00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:46,600
Speaker 1: which is kind of like our teenage self almost well

673
00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:49,720
Speaker 1: I am. You can imagine even just from my tone

674
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:52,920
Speaker 1: that I am. I lean way more on the brat

675
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:57,680
Speaker 1: side than on the chicken side. Okay, tell us more

676
00:41:58,719 --> 00:42:03,440
Speaker 1: so I'll do it tomorrow. I'll go to bed when

677
00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:07,000
Speaker 1: I want. I'd rather starve than exercise and eat. Right.

678
00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:14,160
Speaker 1: I won't apologize, right, it's your fault. I can be mean,

679
00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:18,800
Speaker 1: right because you hurt my feelings, right, Like, I'll even

680
00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:22,719
Speaker 1: tell you the truth without setting it up with you

681
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:29,399
Speaker 1: like very brady, immature, impetuous, like like entitled, right because

682
00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:32,880
Speaker 1: I you know, like really quite creepy but really like

683
00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:37,799
Speaker 1: a like a little baby bitch, right, right, But you

684
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:40,839
Speaker 1: know I told the truth right, right, So you could

685
00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:43,080
Speaker 1: You could have both though It's not like you're like

686
00:42:43,120 --> 00:42:45,879
Speaker 1: a chicken or a brat. It's like different moments where

687
00:42:45,880 --> 00:42:49,680
Speaker 1: we can be both. We are both. We have both.

688
00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:53,600
Speaker 1: Anytime you don't have what you really want, whether it's

689
00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:57,120
Speaker 1: the body, the money, the job, the marriage, the relationship

690
00:42:57,200 --> 00:43:02,120
Speaker 1: with your kids, it's big, sickly a dance between the

691
00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:08,239
Speaker 1: chicken and the brat and and today's basic behavior, right,

692
00:43:08,280 --> 00:43:10,640
Speaker 1: like what did you do today? Well, I really wanted

693
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:12,239
Speaker 1: my kid to come with me, so I took away

694
00:43:12,239 --> 00:43:15,120
Speaker 1: her phone and said get in the car. How that works?

695
00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:17,200
Speaker 1: She didn't talk to me the whole time, And then

696
00:43:17,239 --> 00:43:19,520
Speaker 1: I got really piste and then I said she couldn't

697
00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:23,000
Speaker 1: go out right, Wow, and what was this all for? Well?

698
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:27,960
Speaker 1: I want did I have a better relationship? Right? And

699
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:30,759
Speaker 1: it's all her fault, right? So there you know what

700
00:43:30,760 --> 00:43:33,359
Speaker 1: I mean. So it's like and then blame it on teenagers.

701
00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:37,239
Speaker 1: So if you were coaching that person that you just

702
00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:40,360
Speaker 1: told the story about, what would you what would be

703
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:43,480
Speaker 1: a better response or a way for that person to

704
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:48,160
Speaker 1: get what they wanted and have a better relationship? Um,

705
00:43:48,160 --> 00:43:52,799
Speaker 1: you would? You would? You would really share with your

706
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:57,920
Speaker 1: kid what you're sad about, what you're missing, what you

707
00:43:58,040 --> 00:44:02,000
Speaker 1: yearn for, what you hope for, or and then ask

708
00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:05,319
Speaker 1: them what do they yearn for, hope for? And then

709
00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:07,839
Speaker 1: truck and go why is it this way? What do

710
00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:10,319
Speaker 1: you think it is this way? What could we do? Like?

711
00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:14,279
Speaker 1: You would negotiate with that? Well, you never let me

712
00:44:14,520 --> 00:44:17,200
Speaker 1: you know this. You don't trust me, you don't like

713
00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:20,759
Speaker 1: you're this disciplinarian. That's a jerk. I don't want to

714
00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:22,839
Speaker 1: give you love because and I don't want to play

715
00:44:22,880 --> 00:44:25,800
Speaker 1: with you unless I need clothing, right, Like, you're no

716
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:29,319
Speaker 1: fun mom, right, and so what could we do that

717
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:32,160
Speaker 1: would be fun? And how could I make you happy?

718
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:37,160
Speaker 1: And how could like how can we negotiate this? Right? Well,

719
00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:40,440
Speaker 1: you know, and then you start negotiating and you're starting

720
00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:46,240
Speaker 1: to develop that relationship, but you don't do it like you, oh,

721
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:50,920
Speaker 1: get in the car so well, like you're the parent

722
00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:56,480
Speaker 1: you know, because I said so, isn't it so interesting

723
00:44:56,480 --> 00:44:58,400
Speaker 1: because I'm listening to you say that? And isn't it

724
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:03,839
Speaker 1: so interesting to think about how many things or relationships

725
00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:08,759
Speaker 1: in our life that you know, maybe let's use relationships

726
00:45:08,760 --> 00:45:11,680
Speaker 1: And this is an easy example, but like you probably

727
00:45:11,760 --> 00:45:15,640
Speaker 1: have the same end goal. But because of our sometimes

728
00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:19,080
Speaker 1: an ability to communicate or be open or be honest

729
00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:23,000
Speaker 1: or to know our dreams, it can fall apart completely,

730
00:45:23,080 --> 00:45:27,400
Speaker 1: like you just don't get what you want once you

731
00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:30,799
Speaker 1: think you know something like I know he'll never love

732
00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:34,600
Speaker 1: me the way I want. That's like one plus one

733
00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:40,000
Speaker 1: is two. So with any belief you have in theory

734
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:43,640
Speaker 1: you have about your husband, about yourself, about your career,

735
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:48,040
Speaker 1: once you've locked it, yea believe that thing. Yeah, no

736
00:45:48,080 --> 00:45:52,040
Speaker 1: matter how much you wish it was different, that's like

737
00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:55,799
Speaker 1: painting a glass, It's still a glass no matter what

738
00:45:55,800 --> 00:45:59,040
Speaker 1: color it is. Right. So the fundamental thing that I

739
00:45:59,160 --> 00:46:01,160
Speaker 1: teach in the method and I get people that go

740
00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:04,880
Speaker 1: after and really see for themselves through the process, is

741
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:09,600
Speaker 1: the negative beliefs that are age old in you that

742
00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:12,880
Speaker 1: unless you change your mind and change your own theory

743
00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:15,720
Speaker 1: and hear your theory, you are going to keep proving

744
00:46:15,760 --> 00:46:20,040
Speaker 1: that theory. It's the nature of the beast one hundred percent.

745
00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:22,880
Speaker 1: I agree with that. I call them the stories in

746
00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:25,879
Speaker 1: my head or the stories, and you know, but it's

747
00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:29,279
Speaker 1: like if you decide something about someone, which usually for

748
00:46:29,360 --> 00:46:31,640
Speaker 1: me is based on a fear I have, Like it

749
00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:36,200
Speaker 1: would be a fear if they this wasn't fact true.

750
00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:39,960
Speaker 1: But if I decided every single thing they do, I

751
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:43,279
Speaker 1: will somehow be a c I knew it, you know,

752
00:46:43,320 --> 00:46:46,720
Speaker 1: I'll use that as proof to prove whatever that theory

753
00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:51,120
Speaker 1: is in my head or that story. So in quantum physics,

754
00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:56,520
Speaker 1: they did a study where they shot like a photon

755
00:46:57,440 --> 00:47:01,200
Speaker 1: out of a laser and they created a test of

756
00:47:01,280 --> 00:47:04,960
Speaker 1: like this thin little you know, slit, and they shot

757
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:07,040
Speaker 1: the photon to see if the photon would go through

758
00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:10,160
Speaker 1: the slit. And guess what it went through the slit.

759
00:47:10,960 --> 00:47:13,080
Speaker 1: And then they set up the test that they'd had

760
00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:17,280
Speaker 1: two slits and they shot the one photon to see

761
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:24,640
Speaker 1: if the particle would split. Guess what the particle split. Amazing.

762
00:47:24,840 --> 00:47:26,799
Speaker 1: It does exactly what we think it's going to do.

763
00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:31,160
Speaker 1: Now watch for the kicker. Okay, ready, So the control

764
00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:36,400
Speaker 1: test was they had the two slits, they shot the photon,

765
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:40,960
Speaker 1: but they watched it on a camera. They weren't watching

766
00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:43,799
Speaker 1: it in the room. Got me like the human was

767
00:47:43,840 --> 00:47:51,640
Speaker 1: not watching, and the photon did not just split into two,

768
00:47:51,680 --> 00:47:57,040
Speaker 1: it split into thousands. Oh my gosh. Okay. And then

769
00:47:57,160 --> 00:48:04,359
Speaker 1: what they figured out is that a humans focus is

770
00:48:04,600 --> 00:48:09,200
Speaker 1: causing the way things move. So if you believe your

771
00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:14,040
Speaker 1: husband's a jerk, you're making him one. That doesn't mean

772
00:48:14,520 --> 00:48:16,359
Speaker 1: that's all of it. If there's you know what I mean.

773
00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:19,319
Speaker 1: But there's a way to which we believe something and

774
00:48:19,400 --> 00:48:22,759
Speaker 1: it proves itself. So if you're looking for the jerk

775
00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:24,719
Speaker 1: on the road, you're going to find them. If you're

776
00:48:24,719 --> 00:48:28,920
Speaker 1: looking for how your kid isn't gonna honor you, you're

777
00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:33,680
Speaker 1: gonna find it. What we look for reprove out, Yes,

778
00:48:34,719 --> 00:48:38,600
Speaker 1: go ahead. So then the genius would be figure out

779
00:48:38,680 --> 00:48:40,960
Speaker 1: what you're proving that you hate and don't want to prove,

780
00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:43,439
Speaker 1: and then figure out what you wish you would prove

781
00:48:43,560 --> 00:48:46,719
Speaker 1: the dreams, catch your in a dialogue, and take over

782
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:50,440
Speaker 1: the focus, And that's pretty much what this book teaches

783
00:48:50,480 --> 00:48:52,520
Speaker 1: you to do. That was to me, that was a

784
00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:57,080
Speaker 1: really good summary of this whole experience. Yes, it's really

785
00:48:57,719 --> 00:49:02,440
Speaker 1: you know, twenty years later of of practicing this on

786
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:08,400
Speaker 1: on humans and teaching humans to human better. Um, it's

787
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:12,799
Speaker 1: it's it's so much more fun to be alive when

788
00:49:12,880 --> 00:49:15,840
Speaker 1: you believe you have that kind of leverage and power.

789
00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:18,319
Speaker 1: I mean, it isn't it true? You know, I've had

790
00:49:18,440 --> 00:49:21,920
Speaker 1: days where my life looked exactly the same, Like I

791
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:24,200
Speaker 1: could have two different days, but my life looks exactly

792
00:49:24,239 --> 00:49:28,360
Speaker 1: the same. The situations are the same, they the relationships

793
00:49:28,360 --> 00:49:32,279
Speaker 1: are the same. Nothing has changed except my attitude or

794
00:49:33,239 --> 00:49:35,640
Speaker 1: you know, the way I'm thinking about things. And I

795
00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:42,000
Speaker 1: can feel too completely different ways about the same exact scenarios. Yes,

796
00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:46,000
Speaker 1: it's exactly right, that's exactly the point. So, but you

797
00:49:46,120 --> 00:49:48,879
Speaker 1: didn't create it, You're you don't know you can take

798
00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:52,800
Speaker 1: over the that's like this automated Yeah, I got lucky

799
00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:57,080
Speaker 1: that it's been right, right, versus like I can take

800
00:49:57,120 --> 00:50:01,799
Speaker 1: over the controlled like I can find the control dial right,

801
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:04,960
Speaker 1: like just like you know, you can take over like

802
00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:07,480
Speaker 1: you could hold your p and then p right like

803
00:50:07,680 --> 00:50:11,480
Speaker 1: like like ladies and gentlemen, let's take over our minds.

804
00:50:11,640 --> 00:50:14,439
Speaker 1: It seems to be the wild West of the new

805
00:50:14,480 --> 00:50:18,720
Speaker 1: frontier of being true to ourselves and having what we want. Yes,

806
00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:22,680
Speaker 1: So what's the end goal though, because it's not like

807
00:50:22,760 --> 00:50:25,759
Speaker 1: you just do this book one time or you make

808
00:50:25,840 --> 00:50:28,399
Speaker 1: you write down your dreams one time, right, and you're

809
00:50:28,480 --> 00:50:32,239
Speaker 1: just life is perfect? So is this a constantly evolving

810
00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:37,120
Speaker 1: state for us? Um, it's even worse than that. All right,

811
00:50:37,840 --> 00:50:42,440
Speaker 1: okay the minute. So I also teach like states. So

812
00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:44,960
Speaker 1: it's all states of being. If you would go your

813
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:48,920
Speaker 1: body is a three right on a scale of one

814
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:52,200
Speaker 1: to ten. There's how you think about your body. There's

815
00:50:52,200 --> 00:50:54,680
Speaker 1: what you say to yourself. There's the memories you use

816
00:50:54,719 --> 00:50:58,000
Speaker 1: against your past. Like if you're in a state of three,

817
00:50:58,440 --> 00:51:02,160
Speaker 1: the three is pervasive. So when you dream and then

818
00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:04,200
Speaker 1: change your promise, like and then like you have a

819
00:51:04,280 --> 00:51:07,319
Speaker 1: vision and then you realize in that vision you have

820
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:10,719
Speaker 1: to have very different you know, promises about eating and

821
00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:14,720
Speaker 1: exercising and blah blah blah blah. Right, So now pretend

822
00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:18,439
Speaker 1: you lost the twenty pounds. You exercise four times a week,

823
00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:21,120
Speaker 1: you take weekends off, you love how you're eating, You're

824
00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:25,319
Speaker 1: so proud of yourself. Great. You can either choose to

825
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:29,080
Speaker 1: maintain right like stay at an eight for the rest

826
00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:33,279
Speaker 1: of your life, or you can pretend the eighth is

827
00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:39,200
Speaker 1: the new one and start from there again. Okay, Wait,

828
00:51:39,280 --> 00:51:42,239
Speaker 1: so that again knows I need it again? Tell me again. Okay,

829
00:51:42,280 --> 00:51:44,200
Speaker 1: So on a scale one to ten, I would go

830
00:51:44,239 --> 00:51:46,960
Speaker 1: on a scale of one to ten, I went, you know,

831
00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:50,000
Speaker 1: my marriage and my sex life is an eight. I

832
00:51:50,040 --> 00:51:51,880
Speaker 1: can go, well, let's just keep doing the same thing

833
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:55,880
Speaker 1: over and over again. I love an eight, right, Or

834
00:51:56,520 --> 00:51:58,960
Speaker 1: in my method, I will say, when you've been at

835
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:04,080
Speaker 1: an eight, you should call an eight a one. Okay,

836
00:52:04,120 --> 00:52:06,600
Speaker 1: So you want to start over and keep growing? Yes,

837
00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:11,839
Speaker 1: I think you. We. I think humans came in with

838
00:52:11,880 --> 00:52:15,160
Speaker 1: a bunch of problems and we're here to evolve our problems.

839
00:52:15,239 --> 00:52:19,279
Speaker 1: And that's the fun of being on earth. And so

840
00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:22,000
Speaker 1: the more you gain the system, the more you want.

841
00:52:22,280 --> 00:52:24,719
Speaker 1: It's not I don't need more money. I make a

842
00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:29,920
Speaker 1: nice living. I am very happy. It's not about the cars,

843
00:52:31,640 --> 00:52:35,840
Speaker 1: but it's about my dreaming and and pushing the envelope

844
00:52:35,960 --> 00:52:40,560
Speaker 1: and having a vision. Right, so whatever, Like you should,

845
00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:44,920
Speaker 1: every human should be having that much fun being alive.

846
00:52:45,160 --> 00:52:47,839
Speaker 1: We're going to be dead a lot longer than we're

847
00:52:47,880 --> 00:52:51,960
Speaker 1: going to be alive, right, And so we get however

848
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:55,279
Speaker 1: long we get on earth, and like, really, folks, it

849
00:52:55,440 --> 00:52:58,839
Speaker 1: smells good, it tastes good. You know, there's so much

850
00:52:58,880 --> 00:53:02,480
Speaker 1: to do on Earth you will never get to are

851
00:53:02,520 --> 00:53:05,000
Speaker 1: you living and that? You know, like are you living

852
00:53:05,239 --> 00:53:09,160
Speaker 1: your own dreams and your own beliefs of what's possible?

853
00:53:10,600 --> 00:53:12,480
Speaker 1: And that's and so when are you done with that

854
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:19,759
Speaker 1: when you're not here anymore? Wow? Yeah, I'm pretty aggressive

855
00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:22,120
Speaker 1: about I love I mean, I love that though, because

856
00:53:22,160 --> 00:53:24,880
Speaker 1: it to me all I keep hearing and what I

857
00:53:25,040 --> 00:53:27,160
Speaker 1: read in the book and what my experience was with

858
00:53:27,239 --> 00:53:30,560
Speaker 1: doing the activities was just not that my life isn't

859
00:53:30,719 --> 00:53:33,399
Speaker 1: good now, but my life can be so much more

860
00:53:33,480 --> 00:53:36,160
Speaker 1: full And I just realized that and I didn't even

861
00:53:36,280 --> 00:53:39,680
Speaker 1: I wasn't fully aware of it, you know, um, but

862
00:53:39,760 --> 00:53:41,640
Speaker 1: once you write it down and it's not it wasn't

863
00:53:41,640 --> 00:53:43,480
Speaker 1: even a bad thing. It was a very like, oh,

864
00:53:44,320 --> 00:53:47,440
Speaker 1: moment for me, which to me is exciting, Like you said,

865
00:53:47,520 --> 00:53:52,480
Speaker 1: I think it's super exciting. Yeah, it's it's I it's

866
00:53:52,520 --> 00:53:57,080
Speaker 1: really for a type that wants to and it really

867
00:53:57,120 --> 00:54:01,360
Speaker 1: works against depression and it works against you know. I

868
00:54:01,400 --> 00:54:06,239
Speaker 1: had a client yesterday say that she a very successful woman, right,

869
00:54:06,400 --> 00:54:12,239
Speaker 1: like embarrassingly successful woman. And then what she thank me

870
00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:15,120
Speaker 1: for is ever since she took over in her dialogue

871
00:54:15,120 --> 00:54:18,920
Speaker 1: and really like started doing this work, she hasn't been

872
00:54:18,960 --> 00:54:22,280
Speaker 1: depressed ever again, Like it disappeared because she took over

873
00:54:22,360 --> 00:54:26,560
Speaker 1: the narrative of everything that was depressing her. Wow, right,

874
00:54:26,680 --> 00:54:30,600
Speaker 1: like she got even depression was her own choice, not

875
00:54:30,840 --> 00:54:33,480
Speaker 1: choice like anybody would sign up for it, but like

876
00:54:33,560 --> 00:54:35,279
Speaker 1: there was a way you can take over your loan

877
00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:41,319
Speaker 1: in the dialogue and really evolved past anything. Well, the

878
00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:44,080
Speaker 1: book is called Maybe It's You. I highly recommend it.

879
00:54:44,080 --> 00:54:47,560
Speaker 1: It's been a very good experience for me, Lauren. Where

880
00:54:47,600 --> 00:54:51,600
Speaker 1: can people find you? Are you on social media? I am,

881
00:54:51,680 --> 00:54:55,600
Speaker 1: we are, we are, we are my Lord? Right are

882
00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:59,359
Speaker 1: you everywhere? We are? You know, twenty years later, we

883
00:54:59,480 --> 00:55:01,720
Speaker 1: have a lot of context out there. So the hand

884
00:55:02,080 --> 00:55:04,960
Speaker 1: hand out group, you know, once you hit handelt group,

885
00:55:05,040 --> 00:55:07,360
Speaker 1: you can get it we have free we have like

886
00:55:07,440 --> 00:55:10,640
Speaker 1: we are giving it away, right we and if you

887
00:55:11,080 --> 00:55:15,680
Speaker 1: and our main program, which is like a community, we

888
00:55:15,760 --> 00:55:18,279
Speaker 1: have group calls like you pay one fee and you're

889
00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:23,680
Speaker 1: in for life. Is called Inner You okay, And it's

890
00:55:23,920 --> 00:55:27,400
Speaker 1: twelve sessions twenty five minutes each of me teaching the

891
00:55:27,440 --> 00:55:31,120
Speaker 1: whole method and the homeworks on there. And there's you know,

892
00:55:31,560 --> 00:55:34,040
Speaker 1: you can get a buddy so you can meet people.

893
00:55:34,440 --> 00:55:38,200
Speaker 1: And there's classrooms that are all on zoom and I

894
00:55:38,360 --> 00:55:40,800
Speaker 1: go on there like we're all like it. We built

895
00:55:40,800 --> 00:55:45,239
Speaker 1: a world for community across the world and so and

896
00:55:45,320 --> 00:55:48,640
Speaker 1: that's the book. But on steroid. Well, and you mentioned

897
00:55:48,680 --> 00:55:50,799
Speaker 1: that in the book because once you read out your

898
00:55:50,880 --> 00:55:55,439
Speaker 1: dreams and um figure them out, you tell people that

899
00:55:55,680 --> 00:55:57,080
Speaker 1: they want you want them to go read them to

900
00:55:57,160 --> 00:56:00,520
Speaker 1: someone like a trusted person. Yes, and that is so important,

901
00:56:00,560 --> 00:56:03,440
Speaker 1: I believe so that it's establishing that community. That's an

902
00:56:03,440 --> 00:56:08,560
Speaker 1: awesome tool. I just wish people understood how much more

903
00:56:08,600 --> 00:56:12,640
Speaker 1: fun life is together. Yeah, like and and everybody I

904
00:56:12,680 --> 00:56:15,320
Speaker 1: have never written you know there it's very few people

905
00:56:15,320 --> 00:56:20,200
Speaker 1: that think they have enough great friends, right, and finding

906
00:56:20,280 --> 00:56:23,040
Speaker 1: people you can do this with that are like looking

907
00:56:23,080 --> 00:56:29,000
Speaker 1: for you too, right, is really special. Yeah, okay, guys,

908
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:33,879
Speaker 1: so I I wish for you to to understand how

909
00:56:33,920 --> 00:56:36,680
Speaker 1: much more fun life can be together. Thank you Lauren,

910
00:56:36,680 --> 00:56:39,520
Speaker 1: and thank you guys for listening. This is Kelly Henderson

911
00:56:39,560 --> 00:56:42,560
Speaker 1: and you've been listening to the Velvet's Edge podcast. I

912
00:56:42,640 --> 00:56:45,120
Speaker 1: truly believe that every one of us has a little

913
00:56:45,200 --> 00:56:47,960
Speaker 1: velvet and a little edge, so it's so important to

914
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:51,040
Speaker 1: remember that to be strong, you must be soft too.

915
00:56:51,400 --> 00:56:53,920
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for sharing in those stories with me.

916
00:56:54,440 --> 00:56:57,400
Speaker 1: You can follow Velvet's Edge on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter,

917
00:56:57,640 --> 00:57:00,200
Speaker 1: as well as velvet's Edge dot com. If you have

918
00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:03,440
Speaker 1: it yet, go to Apple Podcasts and subscribe, rate and

919
00:57:03,520 --> 00:57:07,560
Speaker 1: review this podcast. Join me every Wednesday for more conversations

920
00:57:07,640 --> 00:57:12,000
Speaker 1: on lifestyle, beauty, and relationships. Thanks for listening. M