Speaker 1: Are you leaving?
Speaker 2: I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 3: Either way, we want to be there, doesn't matter how
Speaker 3: much baggage you claim and give us time and they
Speaker 3: turmino and gay.
Speaker 1: We want to send you off instid.
Speaker 2: Do wanna welcome you back home?
Speaker 1: Tell us all about it?
Speaker 4: We scared her?
Speaker 2: Was it fine?
Speaker 5: Malborn? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 5: Ride with Karen and Chris? I think welcome to Do
Speaker 5: you need a ride?
Speaker 4: This is Chris Fairbanks, This is Karen Kilgariff.
Speaker 5: We are I'm just making sure I'm on the ones
Speaker 5: and twos, adjusting the levels. We're back. This is Do
Speaker 5: you need a ride?
Speaker 2: I already said that we're back after what three months hiatus?
Speaker 5: Yeah, we've been busy.
Speaker 4: We've been doing lots of things.
Speaker 5: So get off our backs. I mean, first of.
Speaker 2: All, first of all, we love that you're on our backs.
Speaker 5: Oh yes, stay out, fuck off, get off it. Seriously,
Speaker 5: I'm glad you're here. Now, hop off.
Speaker 2: You know what I was yelling to myself the other
Speaker 2: day in the kitchen, keep it loose. I don't remember
Speaker 2: where we were, but you remember you started yelling keep
Speaker 2: it loose. I think I don't know if it was before,
Speaker 2: if it was a comedy festival, it may have been
Speaker 2: kind of a Bridgetown thing. But we just started yelling
Speaker 2: keep it loose at each other.
Speaker 5: Was this maybe, oh okay, now it is. Yeah, I
Speaker 5: remember to keep it loose, back and forth.
Speaker 2: I just like it as a concept. It's keep it loose.
Speaker 2: It's really good advice.
Speaker 5: Like loosey goosey.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just like don't tighten up, don't fucking stress out,
Speaker 2: just keep it loose, right. I think we were talking
Speaker 2: about for our sets, but then it really applies.
Speaker 5: It really is. When I'm barring anyone doing their art,
Speaker 5: it's because they don't seem to care about it while
Speaker 5: they're doing it.
Speaker 4: That's right.
Speaker 5: So you got to keep it loose.
Speaker 4: You got to keep it loose.
Speaker 2: And even if everyone actually does care about it and
Speaker 2: is pretending they don't, but the whole idea is to
Speaker 2: do it as if you don't.
Speaker 5: I feel like I was raised and my mom was
Speaker 5: always like very tense, you know, and was not loosey goosey.
Speaker 5: Mm hmmm, And so I think comedy is good for me.
Speaker 5: Because it makes me be that way. I wonder if
Speaker 5: I didn't do it, I'd probably be in a bank
Speaker 5: with my jiggling my leg being nervous.
Speaker 2: What if you were, I'd work in a bank, for sure.
Speaker 5: That's the only other option.
Speaker 4: You.
Speaker 2: I like to see you on the stock market ringing
Speaker 2: that bell at nine am, or whyever they ring that bell.
Speaker 5: Once you ring it though, you know you gotta wave
Speaker 5: a napkin and scream.
Speaker 2: That's your alternate life. This is your sliding doors. Chris
Speaker 2: fairbanks you the only other place you could have gone
Speaker 2: is finance.
Speaker 5: I guess on the corner there there was a Chase Bank.
Speaker 5: It's really the only reason I said bank. Although I
Speaker 5: am interested in money, are you? I have an interest
Speaker 5: in it? Usually once a month I get very interested
Speaker 5: in it around the.
Speaker 2: First yes and how much there is or is not?
Speaker 5: Yes?
Speaker 4: Hell yeah.
Speaker 5: That's That's about as deep as I get into the
Speaker 5: finance game.
Speaker 4: I feel like I have any Do you have any?
Speaker 4: Can you double it or quadriple it? You're always asking that, Ques, I.
Speaker 5: Love to quadriple you know what. I'm sorry, Sorry, everyone's
Speaker 5: I'd mess up words all the time, and you don't
Speaker 5: jump on my back and then jump right off. I
Speaker 5: would every time I'd like, I've that there's a perfect example.
Speaker 5: I would like just to start to say something when
Speaker 5: I live would dig and then she'd just go, oh,
Speaker 5: did you start start to say something? And I'm like, God,
Speaker 5: damn it, I'm just talking. But now I remember it fondly.
Speaker 4: Now you could sue her.
Speaker 2: How that was sweat.
Speaker 5: So many reasons. What you just heard was porcelain onto
Speaker 5: my ivories. I just may have chipped my tooth with
Speaker 5: a mug.
Speaker 2: But it really did make a gLing sound that I
Speaker 2: appreciate you took the hit. You were making the sacrifice.
Speaker 2: I got to enjoy a glean off. Your tooth really hurt.
Speaker 2: It was very red and stumpy. God, you know that's
Speaker 2: how I ch both my front teeth. My front teeth
Speaker 2: stick out and kind of go upward in a way
Speaker 2: that doesn't make sense.
Speaker 5: I've never noticed that.
Speaker 4: It's the shame of my existence.
Speaker 5: But I've never had you in the chair. You just
Speaker 5: didn't know. I've been a dentist this whole time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the banking dentist. So many yellow suspenders. But the
Speaker 2: way I did it was both times in the same
Speaker 2: where you just glinged your teeth with a coffee cup.
Speaker 4: I broke out.
Speaker 2: My two front teeth with beer bottles at two different parties.
Speaker 5: Wow, yeah, how a gret? What were you doing when
Speaker 5: you it's just bringing it up to your face while
Speaker 5: laughing or something.
Speaker 2: The first time it was my friend Patty Leoni and
Speaker 2: I were fighting over who could sing into the microphone,
Speaker 2: which was a beer bottle during I think it was
Speaker 2: a scorpion song at our Tahoe trip.
Speaker 4: Our senior trip in Tahoe, Okay.
Speaker 2: And we were very drunk and she we were fighting,
Speaker 2: we were pulling, we were both pulling as beer bottle
Speaker 2: as hard as we could, and then she just let go,
Speaker 2: Oh fuck and fucking I just broke my tooth in
Speaker 2: the drunkest drunk girl way possible.
Speaker 5: Oh, the drunkest drunk boy way. Not that I mean
Speaker 5: anyone could have done this, no matter your genitals. My
Speaker 5: friend Casey Marks, we were in the desert. I can't
Speaker 5: remember why and why there was a gun. I've never
Speaker 5: even held a I've held one.
Speaker 2: Yes, and you've held them to decide you don't like it,
Speaker 2: just to go.
Speaker 5: And to get to sleep. And but he tried to
Speaker 5: shoot a shotgun with one hand like it was a pistol,
Speaker 5: and I was like, oh, that's not gonna And it
Speaker 5: came up and hit it dumb and dummered his front
Speaker 5: teeth to where they were. It chipped the middle in
Speaker 5: between the both the front, but it was a perfect
Speaker 5: round the shape of a barrel. Oh like you know
Speaker 5: what I mean, the.
Speaker 4: Roundness that makes me love him.
Speaker 5: And he kept it that way for what Yeah. Now
Speaker 5: he's a school teacher. He teaches like kids and none
Speaker 5: of them know, none of them know he did that,
Speaker 5: or that he was a pro snowboarder. He was like
Speaker 5: a big time pro snowboarder. And I would think that
Speaker 5: would be the first thing you'd do if you were
Speaker 5: a teacher with a bunch of scary kids judging you,
Speaker 5: is hang up a poster of you jumping off a
Speaker 5: cliff on your snowboard, because they'd all be like, oh,
Speaker 5: you're cool.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But he knows that kids they simply won't be
Speaker 2: simply because you want them to do that, so they won't.
Speaker 5: I think he said he said something like that. He's like,
Speaker 5: they would smell the desperation of me hanging up that poster,
Speaker 5: and it would have made things harder for me. So
Speaker 5: instead I just act like a guy that could get
Speaker 5: mad at any moment.
Speaker 4: Yes, and oh that's good. He's short fused teacher. Yeah yeah, smart.
Speaker 5: Sure. Oh I've seen him take punches and give them
Speaker 5: a children. No, no, but when we were children, that
Speaker 5: was children. Everyone Everyone punched children when I was a
Speaker 5: kid because they were children.
Speaker 2: Sure, who cares? They can't do anything. They don't have
Speaker 2: legal representation.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's the first thing I asked when I put
Speaker 5: up my dukes. Do you have a lawyer?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 4: Answer me.
Speaker 5: Here's the two questions, question one and I'm holding up
Speaker 5: my fists. You can't see that. How are you? How
Speaker 5: was Australia again?
Speaker 2: How are you?
Speaker 4: I'm good? It was.
Speaker 2: We have the best time. It was a whirlwind ten
Speaker 2: day trip. We did live shows. They were great.
Speaker 4: The people were very nice.
Speaker 2: It's a cool city that doesn't make food with preservatives.
Speaker 4: I mean it's a cool country, not city.
Speaker 5: Sure, sure, and continent did they did? They did? They
Speaker 5: really have like organic food all the time.
Speaker 4: It's all organic.
Speaker 2: Like the food is a bit it's delicious, but in
Speaker 2: general for an American palette, it's a bit bland because
Speaker 2: they don't don't have everything jammed with salt and preservatives
Speaker 2: and sugar, so like we would laugh about I love
Speaker 2: ordering room service breakfast. I know we've talked about me
Speaker 2: and hotel rooms a million times, but sure, I love
Speaker 2: a room service breakfast. I love to order like three
Speaker 2: pots of coffee and some fuck and toast.
Speaker 4: Are you listening to this? And it's good shit? But
Speaker 4: they're butter.
Speaker 2: You would open the package of butter and it was
Speaker 2: like dark yellow to orange because it's dairy fresh butter.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, and everything's like that and it's just good
Speaker 2: for you. My skin cleared up. Great things were having.
Speaker 5: Have you seen this? What the health movie that I've
Speaker 5: been avoiding watching, but I want to see to try
Speaker 5: and make some changes.
Speaker 2: I've heard about it, but I've also also heard already
Speaker 2: counter arguments about it. Oh okay, So I don't know
Speaker 2: what to think, and therefore I'm just going to keep
Speaker 2: eating Baja Fresh.
Speaker 5: I think we all know, though, that we should just
Speaker 5: be eating things where you you know where it comes from.
Speaker 5: It's expensive and difficult, and then it's like, well, every
Speaker 5: meal is going to be a chore and a mission
Speaker 5: every day, Yes, but it's easy to do it. If
Speaker 5: you're a lonely one person lonely? Oh why I just
Speaker 5: threw that. It's easy to do if you're on the
Speaker 5: verge of I.
Speaker 2: Mean, everything's easier when you're lonely. Could you have this
Speaker 2: burning desire to be around anyone?
Speaker 5: I'm just saying, if you had like three kids that
Speaker 5: you had to feed, it's like, well, we don't have
Speaker 5: time for all of you. That's being organic twelve times
Speaker 5: in a day.
Speaker 4: But here's the thing. You can also be lonely with children.
Speaker 2: That's the saddest kind of a loneeness is when you're
Speaker 2: surrounded by friends and family and people who love you,
Speaker 2: and you still you're just totally isolated.
Speaker 5: That kind of cheers me up because I've been thinking
Speaker 5: that I'm sad. I've been just coming up to children
Speaker 5: and I'm like, you're I should have one of you.
Speaker 5: That's not really the conversation we have, but I really
Speaker 5: like there's a I went to a boxing party last
Speaker 5: night and there's a sweet little girl and she was
Speaker 5: just walking around giving everyone chips and like serving people.
Speaker 4: She was twenty five, she was just a cute.
Speaker 5: No, she was three.
Speaker 4: I think who's boxing party?
Speaker 5: Oh? It was my roommate's hair cutter. No, okay, but
Speaker 5: it was a bunch of young adults with kids, and
Speaker 5: I'm like, gosh, shit, am I supposed to have one
Speaker 5: of these? But I just realized I could be unhappy
Speaker 5: and then have a kid. Oh no, then I'm really
Speaker 5: in trouble.
Speaker 2: Yes, and then you feel then you're unhappy, and you
Speaker 2: feel guilty because you're making other people unhappy.
Speaker 5: Yeah. And I don't know why that kid was serving everyone.
Speaker 5: Maybe either she's playing a game in her head called
Speaker 5: restaurant or she's like, oh, I have to Everyone is
Speaker 5: drunk and they're watching boxing. I have to just occupy
Speaker 5: my brain because this is too much, and I have
Speaker 5: to give chips away.
Speaker 2: She wants everyone to sober up, like it's what you
Speaker 2: get in the forties, they would give drunks cups of coffee.
Speaker 5: And that's no. A three year old little girl shouldn't
Speaker 5: have to deal with a bunch of andy a room
Speaker 5: full of andy caps.
Speaker 2: That's such an emotional burden for her as a child.
Speaker 5: That's too much. I got a sober these people up,
Speaker 5: we're all going to crash and die.
Speaker 4: I'm they're going to kill me.
Speaker 2: I've just been here for three years on the planet.
Speaker 5: That guy couldn't be more Canadian. First of all, it's
Speaker 5: a shirt that says Canada. And then he just seems
Speaker 5: very athletic, and he has a fanny pack and.
Speaker 4: He was like Geddy Lee's hot older brother.
Speaker 5: Oh, and now he's just launched into a sprint.
Speaker 4: Wow, he's an urban marathoner.
Speaker 5: He's probably doesn't like that he's breathing in this freeway dust,
Speaker 5: but he's still gonna get his cardio.
Speaker 2: I feel bad for a Canadian jogging in Los Angeles
Speaker 2: me too.
Speaker 5: That's sad.
Speaker 2: Yeah, those poor people coming here to this goddamn dust
Speaker 2: bowl garbage can only.
Speaker 5: To be deported the minute they get a job. My
Speaker 5: point is that's that I needed a job.
Speaker 2: I mean he Oh, it's Emmy's speaking of that. It's
Speaker 2: Emmy's Sunday speaking a job. Oh, today's today's the Emmys.
Speaker 5: Oh, I thought it happened days ago. I'm thinking of fashion.
Speaker 5: We Ah, it's hard to confuse all these reasons I
Speaker 5: have these toxedos.
Speaker 4: It's hard to confuse them.
Speaker 5: Are you going to the Emmys?
Speaker 4: Fuck?
Speaker 5: No, you don't care about that shit.
Speaker 2: Listen, I'm like, oh God, more than anything I want
Speaker 2: to go. I'm really I'm really deep and not about
Speaker 2: earthly this earthly plane. But I also need, I feel
Speaker 2: the need to prequalify what I'm about to say because
Speaker 2: I just think award shows are so fucking lame. And
Speaker 2: I know that's very nineties Kirk Cobaine of me, and
Speaker 2: I cop to it, but I just when people get
Speaker 2: excited about being nominated or winning Emmys, I lose all
Speaker 2: respect for them entirely, and I never want to talk
Speaker 2: to them again.
Speaker 4: That's how I honestly feel.
Speaker 5: One of my favorite, uh Twitter people is Pat Sage.
Speaker 5: I don't know why he's funny, but he is. And
Speaker 5: he said, I hope there's some awards given out tonight
Speaker 5: in between all the political speeches. He worded it better.
Speaker 5: I don't know. It's just an old kind of conservative
Speaker 5: game show fart. And he's got jokes. He's got you
Speaker 5: know what Pat say, Jack's.
Speaker 4: Funny, Karen, that's fine.
Speaker 2: If Tom Arnold you can save them Arnold, it doesn't
Speaker 2: mean they're so.
Speaker 5: He Really, I really think you should pay attention to
Speaker 5: Pat Sajak.
Speaker 2: He's a crazy Republican, is he Yeah, He's like a
Speaker 2: fighty Republican.
Speaker 5: Okay, I haven't seen any of that, but I did
Speaker 5: get a hint of it, but it was there will
Speaker 5: be a bunch of people that don't, that are trying
Speaker 5: hard not to be self congratulatory, and so I think
Speaker 5: that they will be. Tonight, the speeches accepting awards will
Speaker 5: be about hurricanes and races. I think so, even if
Speaker 5: even if the show wasn't, yeah, I think everyone's like, oh,
Speaker 5: I want to do like that guy from Stranger Things, Yeah,
Speaker 5: get some get some stuff off my chest, or well,
Speaker 5: Jim Carrey did it the other day at Fashion make
Speaker 5: He's like, this is stupid. It's we're we're nothing, We're
Speaker 5: all floating, and oh yeah, I like that, Yeah I do.
Speaker 5: I did want to like it, but for some reason
Speaker 5: sometimes he annoys me. But I've liked his recent paintings.
Speaker 2: I like the message of like, we are me too.
Speaker 2: It's fun me too. It's a good thing to hear.
Speaker 2: But also I think these days things are so our
Speaker 2: president is a fucking lunatic criminal, Like people have to
Speaker 2: be saying things because I mean, I hear what you're saying.
Speaker 2: It can't be irritating. But I do like it. It
Speaker 2: makes me go. Yeah, think when people acknowledge how bad
Speaker 2: it has gotten, and you know, the idea that we
Speaker 2: live in a in a world where Nazis feel comfortable
Speaker 2: to exist is bullshit and bullshit.
Speaker 5: And for a while I was like, I'm like, I
Speaker 5: don't even want to talk about Donald Trump. I want
Speaker 5: to say his name. It's too bad. Because it's happening,
Speaker 5: we all have to be talking about it all the time,
Speaker 5: even if we're all sick of it. It should be
Speaker 5: talked about. So good. I hope good. Fuck you Pat's saga.
Speaker 2: That's where I worked when I worked on baskets. It's
Speaker 2: over now, but I love that building so much.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah it is. It's all Frank Lloyd, righty.
Speaker 2: You know what it is. That's brutalist architecture. Ask me anything.
Speaker 2: I don't know anything about.
Speaker 5: Have you seen that building? And I don't know where
Speaker 5: it is? Where it actually looks like a backet, a basket,
Speaker 5: a pick and a basket.
Speaker 4: Where is it?
Speaker 5: I wish that's where you rode basket. I don't know.
Speaker 5: I think it's I think it's in. I don't know
Speaker 5: where it is. It's someone if someone knows, let me
Speaker 5: no direct message to me where's the basket building? Uh,
Speaker 5: it looks like, Oh I hate it when you see
Speaker 5: cars that got run into.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, stressful.
Speaker 5: Oh that tow truck's taken care of it. The sights
Speaker 5: and sounds of the streets of la or just the
Speaker 5: sounds about the.
Speaker 2: Sites, the sounds of crunching cars. Woh, that's a nice lexus.
Speaker 5: Yeah, well I kind of like yours.
Speaker 4: Do you like this one better?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Thank you?
Speaker 5: I always that I know what you were fishing for,
Speaker 5: is yeah.
Speaker 2: You, but you had best serve it up then if
Speaker 2: I'm fishing, well, it's just.
Speaker 5: Kind of a big There should be soccer balls in
Speaker 5: the back wind Ooh, I didn't see the side of it.
Speaker 5: It is nicer. Well that didn't probably make you feel better,
Speaker 5: there is I did. I've been looking at cars lately
Speaker 5: and I'm I want to get my Honda's paid off.
Speaker 4: Is it really?
Speaker 5: Yeah? That freeze up? Some might as well replace it
Speaker 5: with a new payment.
Speaker 4: I mean you can handle it, yeah, and then some.
Speaker 5: Well not really. I got to pay for this hip
Speaker 5: of mine that's kind of like minor car.
Speaker 2: That fucking thing. Yeah, it is like you have a
Speaker 2: new car, but the inside.
Speaker 5: Yeah, in it in it. I paid for my car
Speaker 5: right around the time I got this thing in stuff.
Speaker 2: So you know you were saying earlier that suddenly you're
Speaker 2: into dogs now I am.
Speaker 5: And yeah, it's the same as the kids thing. When
Speaker 5: I see a kid, I'm like, hey buddy, and when
Speaker 5: I see a dog, I'm like hey buddy. I treat
Speaker 5: them the same.
Speaker 2: Do you think that I think, oh, Coirkies, I think
Speaker 2: the side. I want to go to Quirkys more in
Speaker 2: my life. That's just something I'm going to do in
Speaker 2: twenty seventeen I have time. But I was going to say,
Speaker 2: do you think that those things coincided with you getting
Speaker 2: your hip hopplace? And I just love the idea that
Speaker 2: you are not in constant pain anymore.
Speaker 4: It's so much better.
Speaker 5: It was grumpy often, and I knew that's why, but
Speaker 5: I got tired of bringing it up all the time,
Speaker 5: like this whole.
Speaker 4: Well, it's just it's such a bad quality of life.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's like having a little Donald Trump in your body.
Speaker 5: It's like, I'm not going to mention this, but yeah
Speaker 5: I'm not, but I feel happier. And then also just
Speaker 5: having your leg torn off and put back on, it's
Speaker 5: I mean people go through much worse things, of course,
Speaker 5: but it does make you think about mortality and everything.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then you're it also makes me think about
Speaker 2: people who get their leg torn off without medical supervision.
Speaker 4: Right right happen?
Speaker 5: I mean, it would have been terrible if my leg
Speaker 5: was in the position it was without eight men in
Speaker 5: there that knew what they were doing, you know, wearing
Speaker 5: goggles and blood all over them. I watched, I told
Speaker 5: you I watched the video.
Speaker 4: Yes, and you're such a mistake.
Speaker 5: But I don't know now. Really it made me scared,
Speaker 5: but you know, you should be scared. And then later
Speaker 5: on afterwards, the payot, the knowing what I'd gone through
Speaker 5: and knowing how scary it was, and knowing that it's
Speaker 5: important for me to do this rehab. And so if
Speaker 5: I didn't watched that video, maybe I wouldn't go to
Speaker 5: these emasculating bar methic classes trying to you know, Oh
Speaker 5: that guy fell in a bike.
Speaker 4: Oh he's fine, O.
Speaker 5: Little coffee, Oh he's smiling.
Speaker 4: Sorry, that's so embarrassing.
Speaker 5: I know, I want to say, hey, are you okay?
Speaker 5: But no, that's not what you want to hear.
Speaker 2: No, it's so embarrassing. Yeah, that's my great fear of
Speaker 2: falling down in public. Oh and he hurt himself.
Speaker 5: Darn it.
Speaker 4: God, you don't see that that often. Why why that
Speaker 4: was a full front flip on a bike.
Speaker 5: That made me sad.
Speaker 4: It's uh, well, he's okay, yeah, but.
Speaker 5: I still just want to cry.
Speaker 2: Oh wait, tell me about tell me again about the
Speaker 2: MANU met at the party.
Speaker 5: I I, uh, yeah, last night I went to see
Speaker 5: the boxing match at a pay per view house or
Speaker 5: a house that didn't pay per viewed it paid to
Speaker 5: view it. And uh, and this guy I just started
Speaker 5: petting this dog. I'm like, I really I like old dogs.
Speaker 5: I like, I think I want to get old that
Speaker 5: are just have like two years left and adopt only
Speaker 5: those dogs because I like how they are. And then
Speaker 5: he's like, yeah, they just make me say He's like
Speaker 5: and then he just said, I've been crying all the time.
Speaker 5: I just cry during a car commercial if the right
Speaker 5: song is on. And I'm like, me too, if you've
Speaker 5: been crying lately. I've never met this guy. And he
Speaker 5: was like a man. He looked like he goes to
Speaker 5: the gym a lot, and he had a lot of
Speaker 5: gel in his hair. And we just talked about how
Speaker 5: he'd been crying God, and I'm like, man, it's hard
Speaker 5: for men to make friends with other men. But I
Speaker 5: feel like I should have asked for his phone number,
Speaker 5: because we hit it off right away immediately saying we
Speaker 5: like crying. I think he was really drunk though at
Speaker 5: the time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but still that level of honesty.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, and I've said that before. There are
Speaker 5: times where you're just watching a Toyota commercial and they
Speaker 5: pick the right melodic jingle and then they show a
Speaker 5: father and son or something, and then I think about
Speaker 5: and then they're I'm not thinking about cars though. So
Speaker 5: I don't know if it's actually a good way to advertise.
Speaker 2: But I think it is because it's getting it. It's
Speaker 2: plucks your heart strings and so then you're not it's not.
Speaker 4: About cars, it's about like life. It's like a life decision.
Speaker 2: That's how That's what they're trying to do, right, make
Speaker 2: it be like what's your lifestyle?
Speaker 5: Yeah? I think that is it. I just it never
Speaker 5: makes me though, remember what kind of car it was
Speaker 5: a commercial for. That's true. It's just like, oh that commercial,
Speaker 5: the one that made me.
Speaker 2: Cry for a little while.
Speaker 4: It was Subaru.
Speaker 2: Subaru had those like date commercials where it'd be like
Speaker 2: people that were kind of hanging out and then something
Speaker 2: with magic would happen and they'd be in a super
Speaker 2: U And that actually made me. It gave me like
Speaker 2: a teenage longing feeling. Oh right, are those ones where
Speaker 2: you're like, what, I want to be in a Subaru
Speaker 2: with some fuck and somebody.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I agree. There are certain cars that I think about, uh,
Speaker 5: and that do that old Subaru's, old jeep wagoneers. I
Speaker 5: love a deep yeah, longing for some family and plaid
Speaker 5: couch I never had. And then uh, and then also suburbans.
Speaker 5: I think about my friends whose parents had suburbans. Yeah,
Speaker 5: when I see a suburban, it's like, oh man, I
Speaker 5: wish I still was just sleeping over at people's houses.
Speaker 5: You know, absolutely, It's like there's never you know, sleepovers
Speaker 5: are so complicated nowadays, they really are. Yeah, there's so much.
Speaker 2: Fighting, yeah and fucking the time. You can't just sleep anymore.
Speaker 5: And I just sleep over at your house with you
Speaker 5: getting the wrong idea.
Speaker 4: Stop being such a slut man or woman.
Speaker 5: Yes, we both decided we cry. Now let me sleep over.
Speaker 4: I want to meet that guy.
Speaker 2: I love the idea of a person standing like, to me,
Speaker 2: that's such a good independent film.
Speaker 4: It's like two dudes standing at a.
Speaker 2: Party that one looks like a skateboarder and one looks
Speaker 2: like he works in the financial departments. Yeah yeah, jel
Speaker 2: in his hair and they love to talk and it goes.
Speaker 5: About crying right away.
Speaker 4: The first thing I would have grabbed his face.
Speaker 5: I guess under the right circumstances, I could have grabbed
Speaker 5: his face.
Speaker 4: I would have said, be my forever.
Speaker 5: We both want different things out of life. I think.
Speaker 2: Okay, did you I'm sure you saw the news, But
Speaker 2: before I left Australia, this fucking part of the valley
Speaker 2: was on fire. Did you see any of it?
Speaker 5: I was distracted by the fact that I was in
Speaker 5: Montana and the entire state was on fire, but not
Speaker 5: in a way that threatened, you know. There was pictures.
Speaker 5: I saw a picture of people golfing and in the
Speaker 5: background it was horribly on fire where they had to
Speaker 5: be sweating it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, no, because I think that was so it
Speaker 2: was these mountains over here. So I came home from
Speaker 2: work one night because I work in the valley that way,
Speaker 2: and I drove and it.
Speaker 4: Was all blocked by houses and stuff.
Speaker 2: I drove to CVS and when I walked out of
Speaker 2: CVS for the first time, it was unblocked view and
Speaker 2: it looked like hell had grown up behind the Carl's
Speaker 2: Junior Junior.
Speaker 4: It was like the weirdest thing I'd ever.
Speaker 5: Seen, right, really dramatic because you can see the flame.
Speaker 5: In Montana, the entire state was on fire. But it
Speaker 5: you know, there's not a lot of people. You know,
Speaker 5: it's the fourth largest state. There's only less than a
Speaker 5: million people there. So it's in the mountains and it's
Speaker 5: in the forest. It still sucks, but it's part of
Speaker 5: the process. This here was caused by a kid with fireworks, right.
Speaker 4: Is that true? I think, so, oh he's going to
Speaker 4: get in trouble or.
Speaker 5: I'm confusing it with the Montana one. But you know,
Speaker 5: fireworks are bad. They're fun, but you know you'll you'll
Speaker 5: lose an eye or a finger and you'll and you'll
Speaker 5: kill your states.
Speaker 2: If you're going to do fireworks, do them in the creek.
Speaker 2: That's what we used to do. Take him down to
Speaker 2: the craft.
Speaker 5: Them in the crack.
Speaker 4: In the creek. That's right.
Speaker 5: Gotta doll me and the crick.
Speaker 2: Here we go, Well, me and the crack right now,
Speaker 2: that's every fourth of life.
Speaker 5: In the crack on the bay. Getting the song wrong.
Speaker 2: We took We would take big boxes of fireworks down
Speaker 2: into the creek and it would be our family and
Speaker 2: the hospitals and usually like one or two other neighborhood families.
Speaker 4: You can fucking light an M eight down there. Nothing
Speaker 4: would happen.
Speaker 5: Isn't it crazy?
Speaker 4: They go off, they go off, but like nothing catches off?
Speaker 5: Why? Why?
Speaker 2: Why?
Speaker 5: Why? Why? Karen? Why do they stay lit? How?
Speaker 4: And why firecrackers in general?
Speaker 5: What when you light a wick on a tiny explosive?
Speaker 5: Why can you submerge it in water and it still
Speaker 5: goes off?
Speaker 4: Does it?
Speaker 5: Yes?
Speaker 4: Oh, well, I guess it's the way the wick is made.
Speaker 5: Hmmm, it's uh yeah, I guess they are so combustible
Speaker 5: that it goes beyond the extinguish old bowl properties of
Speaker 5: the water. I just had an aneurysm. That's why I'm worried.
Speaker 5: If you That's why I don't think too hard about anything,
Speaker 5: because it sends a bubble to your brain.
Speaker 4: Yeah that's so true.
Speaker 5: But like bottle rockets, I remember shooting them and they
Speaker 5: propel underwater like little submarine.
Speaker 4: Oh that's rad.
Speaker 5: And then they go at the end and there's bubbles.
Speaker 4: That's awesome.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it is awesome. I would do them in the creek.
Speaker 2: Do it in the creek.
Speaker 5: Do it in the creek.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't go up a hill to do firecrackers.
Speaker 2: That means you're going up into the mountains, and it's
Speaker 2: if you're in California.
Speaker 4: The mountains have been bone.
Speaker 5: Dry for eight years. And the horrible irony of this
Speaker 5: is the only way they're retreating to the mountains is
Speaker 5: to get away from society so they don't get in trouble.
Speaker 5: If it wasn't illegal and we could just light fireworks,
Speaker 5: you know, it'd be safer, but more people being I suppose.
Speaker 2: Well, or we could just burn everything down and then
Speaker 2: give everybody fireworks and then nothing would be flammable and everyone.
Speaker 4: Be having a great time.
Speaker 5: Right. All we have to do is tear down society
Speaker 5: and become a firework based economy.
Speaker 4: We can do this, people.
Speaker 2: We if you care about fireworks as much as I do,
Speaker 2: and that include sparklers, that includes punks.
Speaker 5: Your belongings, burn them for the nearest reservations. Fireworks stand
Speaker 5: please and buy some black cats and little tanks. I
Speaker 5: like those old paper tanks.
Speaker 2: Paper tanks are good, Piccolo PiZZ are good.
Speaker 5: Everyone used to buy these loud ones that would blow
Speaker 5: up their Masters of the Universe dolls or whatever. I
Speaker 5: just wanted the little pill that you light and it
Speaker 5: turns to a black coiling snakes.
Speaker 4: Those are called snakes, I think right.
Speaker 5: I think they're called black coiling.
Speaker 2: Snakes or is that the full name? Because I was
Speaker 2: never trained with black coiled snakes. We just called them
Speaker 2: in the creek, we call them snakes.
Speaker 5: Yeah. I think that was when I go to the
Speaker 5: fireworks stand to be safe. My dad somehow hypnotized me
Speaker 5: and believing the most boring ones were the funnest.
Speaker 4: Did you have punks everything?
Speaker 5: Sorry? I don't, and it don't. I mean some of
Speaker 5: the kids were, Oh, you mean the turd on a stick? Yes?
Speaker 2: Yes, uh.
Speaker 5: It is, but it is manure on a wire and
Speaker 5: punks are made of poop?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 5: Yes? Since when seventies mid seventies?
Speaker 2: I think I never knew that. Does it smell like poop?
Speaker 4: Does it?
Speaker 5: No? No, you got to put it in your mouth
Speaker 5: first and then smell it. You have to get it moist. Yeah,
Speaker 5: and once it's in your mouth, you're like, even if
Speaker 5: you never really had colmanure and a stick, you know
Speaker 5: that's what it is.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know you got the good stuff.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 5: It has to hit the back of your tongue and
Speaker 5: it hit the special pooh sensory areas of the tongue.
Speaker 5: I always have to get gross because I'm a boy.
Speaker 2: You went one step too far, just like risk, just
Speaker 2: like boy games. That's my still my favorite thing. And
Speaker 2: so many people don't enjoy that joke. But they'll people
Speaker 2: will say like, would you like some salami? And I'll
Speaker 2: say no, that's for boys, or like have you ever
Speaker 2: played blank game? And I'll say, no, that's for boys.
Speaker 2: And I think it is so hilarious to talk like
Speaker 2: you're eight years old and people don't think it's funny.
Speaker 5: Well, I mean it'll get me in hot walk because
Speaker 5: I've been to an exercise for girls.
Speaker 4: Oh that's right, and I talk about it.
Speaker 5: I really I am. It is exactly my therapy, all
Speaker 5: this squatting, but they fully depending on the class, and
Speaker 5: it's always I'm the only man and they will have
Speaker 5: their arms like in a plea position or whatever. Curtsy whatever,
Speaker 5: one arm up, one arm down, like a ballet arms,
Speaker 5: and I keep mine down low because I want everyone
Speaker 5: to know the business, but I don't. I Also, when
Speaker 5: you're the only guy at a at a class that's
Speaker 5: mostly where I do now, I'm like, oh, this is
Speaker 5: good for my hip. I don't want them to think
Speaker 5: I'm a weirdo. And also during the class, I just
Speaker 5: look at the instructor like I'm trying to figure out algebra,
Speaker 5: Like it's really you know, I don't want anyone to
Speaker 5: think that I'm there to like look at butts, you
Speaker 5: know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Oh oh, I say, because I was like, well, that
Speaker 2: does sound like you're being a weird of no, staring
Speaker 2: intently at the instructor and.
Speaker 5: I'm really trying to do it right because there's all
Speaker 5: these little little nuanced like you have to focus on
Speaker 5: certain areas for an extent. You can look like you're
Speaker 5: doing it and you're not really doing it. It's like, look,
Speaker 5: I'm squatting. It's like, yeah, if I have to pretend
Speaker 5: your belly button is touching your spine and then you're like,
Speaker 5: oh now this sucks, and I'm jiggling and shaking. You
Speaker 5: have to engage your core, yeah, which is something I
Speaker 5: don't believe I've engaged it right. I mean, you can
Speaker 5: do setups all day, or you can ride on a bike,
Speaker 5: and I I do not sweat as much as in
Speaker 5: this class where I'm just doing these little tiny squats.
Speaker 5: It's been really interesting, but it's helping my hip so
Speaker 5: much that I'm excited about my physical future.
Speaker 2: Carry Yay, finally I feel great. Also, I think it's funny.
Speaker 2: You know what you should do in that class? You
Speaker 2: should wear night vision goggles in there, don't you think?
Speaker 2: Just really let them know that you're only there.
Speaker 5: Just I just turn them.
Speaker 2: Up, just like in Silence of the Lambs. Just fucking
Speaker 2: throw those things down, have a moth on your shoulder,
Speaker 2: and turn off the light game and be like, I'm fine,
Speaker 2: I am.
Speaker 4: Not a creep.
Speaker 5: What side? What are your dimensions? By the way, I'm
Speaker 5: interested in sewing?
Speaker 2: That is fourteen roomy Okay, okay, time for class.
Speaker 5: Forget.
Speaker 2: I asked, I've actually thought recently because I've let my
Speaker 2: physical well being really slip, and I was like, what
Speaker 2: if I joined like one of those boxing gyms or
Speaker 2: something that's all intensely meant like almost like strictly Armenian gangsters.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean, just go just dip into
Speaker 2: a world that I do not belong in and go.
Speaker 5: There, and I think you should. And also you know,
Speaker 5: when you are dipped into this weird world you are
Speaker 5: surrounded by, it will make you because you know everyone's
Speaker 5: watching it. That's the thing about a class. It's like
Speaker 5: all these everyone's kind of eyes around me because I'm
Speaker 5: the odd the odd duckling. But Jesus, just a little
Speaker 5: dough every once in a while. I'm just seventy years old
Speaker 5: because I'm the odd duck and then they and it
Speaker 5: makes me do it and work harder.
Speaker 4: Yep, that's right.
Speaker 5: Where it's a video at my house. If you like
Speaker 5: decide to do some tybo videos at your house, it's
Speaker 5: not going to have that the same effect as a
Speaker 5: room full of army.
Speaker 2: That's right.
Speaker 4: First of all, I want to oppress Armenian man.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Did I ever tell you about the time a car
Speaker 2: pulled up and a guy just extended a single red
Speaker 2: rose to me out of his car.
Speaker 5: No, that's what That's terrific.
Speaker 2: It was I laughed so hard and was he kind
Speaker 2: of goofy about it?
Speaker 5: Or was he like being sensual.
Speaker 4: I don't.
Speaker 2: He was like he seemed like he was in his
Speaker 2: late teens or early twenties, so I don't know what
Speaker 2: the fuck he was doing. Yeah, yeah, And I seriously
Speaker 2: didn't believe that it was a sincere thing, but it
Speaker 2: was happening anyway, and I.
Speaker 4: Just laughed and drove away.
Speaker 5: That's terrific, though it was very I want to drive
Speaker 5: around with roses and.
Speaker 2: Done just dramatically extend them to middle aged women in
Speaker 2: the car next to you.
Speaker 4: It's really enjoyable.
Speaker 5: I've always wanted to drive around with pre made signs
Speaker 5: just in case I was able to use them that
Speaker 5: we're very specific, like you you can't turn left in
Speaker 5: front of oncoming traffic. Just a sign that says that.
Speaker 5: So when someone I have a sign for it, you're
Speaker 5: right there and you pull up next to them, and
Speaker 5: then they'll be like, oh my god, you're right. And also,
Speaker 5: why the fuck do you have a sign prepared? Yeah?
Speaker 4: When did you write that?
Speaker 5: It's going to make them change if you read a
Speaker 5: sign and it says you've got away for pedestrians when
Speaker 5: you turn right, and that it and they just made
Speaker 5: that offense. I've just basically repeated.
Speaker 2: Myself, Well, no, I get it, I got it, but
Speaker 2: I do get it.
Speaker 5: I was just kind of listening, Yeah, to imagine the
Speaker 5: actual traffic violation and worthy of a sign yea.
Speaker 2: And how creative you could get And then how long
Speaker 2: would you have to wait for those things to unfold
Speaker 2: in front of you?
Speaker 5: Yeah, but not in front of your children, like a
Speaker 5: sign that says that. And it's just a dad in
Speaker 5: a van.
Speaker 4: How did you know, Oh, my god, I have to
Speaker 4: go to church and.
Speaker 5: Make them a better father and make them find Jesus.
Speaker 2: I know you were asking earlier where the National Cremation
Speaker 2: Building was.
Speaker 4: Oh there, it is ten nine.
Speaker 5: If putting a loved one in a jar isn't depressing enough,
Speaker 5: come to this peach colored box.
Speaker 2: Come to it, the smallest building to hold your biggest feeling.
Speaker 5: That is the most right next to the lingerie art
Speaker 5: rock movie poster. It probably didn't say lingerie.
Speaker 4: It did say lingerie.
Speaker 5: It sounded it seemed like it.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of weird buildings with no windows that
Speaker 2: are like gentlemen's clubs around here.
Speaker 4: A little bit intimidate.
Speaker 5: I like Humphrey Boguard posters and I like underpants. Let's
Speaker 5: go into business.
Speaker 4: Do you think that they mean it?
Speaker 2: Like they're framing pictures of both Humphrey Bogart and a
Speaker 2: lady in underparts?
Speaker 5: I really I need to know more. It's funny. I
Speaker 5: mean it's hard. Maybe they're just trying to be more
Speaker 5: interesting than the international is it national or international cremation national? Yeah,
Speaker 5: you got to cap it America. You don't want to
Speaker 5: be cooking other people.
Speaker 2: In other countries. There's all different, you know, custom you
Speaker 2: don't want to get.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, it's you don't want to offend someone first
Speaker 5: of all. Yeah, I mean, come on, there's little differences
Speaker 5: with I tried to. I've had my mom's ashes. I
Speaker 5: don't know what to do with them. I just have
Speaker 5: them in the corner. I've spread them here and there
Speaker 5: and let some of them blow in the wind into
Speaker 5: my sister's mouth. But I really haven't done you know A.
Speaker 5: I think I got to drive to Monterey. Have you
Speaker 5: ever been to Monterey?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's beautiful.
Speaker 5: I was born there. We left. We left when I
Speaker 5: was young, but it would have been a beautiful place
Speaker 5: to grow up.
Speaker 2: That's lovely to go out onto one of those cliffs. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and let them go into the ocean.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but be careful about it, like pay attention to
Speaker 5: which way the wind is blowing.
Speaker 2: Yes, maybe you know, goggle again, the night vision goggles
Speaker 2: could come into place, I think.
Speaker 5: Especially midday. Yes, I really, yeah, I think I'm I'm
Speaker 5: gonna put on night vision goggles and a cape and
Speaker 5: sit it stand at the edge of a cliff and yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: Make the most of that moment.
Speaker 5: What your mom would want to say? Some words?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I think I will just a list of
Speaker 2: random word because it's kind.
Speaker 5: Of weird to just have her be in the corner
Speaker 5: of my room where I, you know, fired and masturbace.
Speaker 4: Yeah that is yeah, I would.
Speaker 2: I would definitely take her out of the line of
Speaker 2: vision when you're masturbating.
Speaker 4: I don't think it's necessary.
Speaker 2: I don't think you want to train yourself to look
Speaker 2: at that and be a part of that.
Speaker 5: It's funny thing though, it's just a black box. I
Speaker 5: don't know which side her eyes are on. I turn
Speaker 5: it away, but she's.
Speaker 4: Still rolling her eyes and turned away. It's like this again.
Speaker 5: Please, she knew she did my laundry when I was fifteen.
Speaker 2: It was because she and she knows now she sees
Speaker 2: all that black box. My mom is a is in
Speaker 2: the dining room up above the like china cabinet. And
Speaker 2: I didn't know until one night when my I, one
Speaker 2: of the somebody made a joke about Mom not being there,
Speaker 2: and I got my dad goes, she's here, she's right there,
Speaker 2: and then I was like, oh my god.
Speaker 5: He didn't say, oh, at your not at your house, at.
Speaker 4: My dad's house.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's easier for me to take because it's
Speaker 2: at my dad's house.
Speaker 5: Right, Yeah, I wish I could. Yeah, I just gotta
Speaker 5: put it. I just gotta do something, put it in
Speaker 5: a better I mean, the box has made a plastic
Speaker 5: it's not a show box.
Speaker 4: No, I don't think they're meant for that.
Speaker 2: No, No, you're not supposed to show off with your
Speaker 2: dad's relevants to show.
Speaker 5: No one really wants to see you show it or
Speaker 5: tell it. No, it's not a show and tell.
Speaker 4: It's neither.
Speaker 5: It's just a private box as it's sad miss jerk
Speaker 5: off box.
Speaker 4: It's all those things. I'm sorry, mom, I'm sorry. Was
Speaker 4: your mom's first name again?
Speaker 5: Lynn?
Speaker 4: Lynn? That's my middle name.
Speaker 5: Oh really, I didn't know that you should have.
Speaker 4: Said it long ago, l Ynn. And that's right.
Speaker 5: Mine's James.
Speaker 4: Oh great, thank you.
Speaker 5: I was hoping you go. That's my dad's name.
Speaker 4: It is my dad's name.
Speaker 5: It is.
Speaker 4: It is my dad's name.
Speaker 5: What.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Jim Kilgarrow, have we talked about this?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 4: This is this amazing, It.
Speaker 5: Is amazing, this is rare. I just said that as
Speaker 5: a joke.
Speaker 2: I know, I wasn't even really Jim Kilgarrow.
Speaker 5: Lynn Fair maans, Yes, good to meet you.
Speaker 2: God, that's I mean, we've always been connected. Yeah, but
Speaker 2: this really fucking galvanizes it for me.
Speaker 5: It's just fucking names. Come on, I just take it away.
Speaker 5: I'm the one that built it up.
Speaker 2: And I was matching your excitement. My first boyfriend was
Speaker 2: like this. I would match excitement and then be punished for.
Speaker 5: Really, that's a specific cruelty.
Speaker 2: He was very cruel and weird. I actually wouldn't call
Speaker 2: him a boyfriend. He was a guy that I.
Speaker 4: Spent too much time with in the nineties late eadies.
Speaker 5: It was a confusing time.
Speaker 4: It was a difficult time. The clothes were so ugly.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you spent too much time with him. I spent
Speaker 5: too much time with pants that covered my shoes.
Speaker 4: They were so baggy Junco jeans. Yeah, did you do
Speaker 4: some junkers?
Speaker 5: Oh no, no, I don't be crazy. I Actually it's
Speaker 5: funny because as a skateboarder it is such a it
Speaker 5: is such a clicky fashion conscious You don't realize when
Speaker 5: you're into it. But it's like there's only certain things
Speaker 5: that you wear and it has to be skate skate
Speaker 5: around cool brands. Yeah, and it's so funny. I might
Speaker 5: as well have been a dude that only wears Tommy
Speaker 5: Hill figure in Nautica or whatever. You know. It's just
Speaker 5: it's the same you think of skateboarding. It's like or
Speaker 5: like punk rock kids when they put so much time
Speaker 5: into their faux hawk and they're they're putting studs on
Speaker 5: their jackets. It's like, wait, aren't you supposed to be like,
Speaker 5: fuck you, I don't care about anything.
Speaker 2: They care.
Speaker 5: You have to spend the same amount of time getting
Speaker 5: ready to go out to your mosh pitch show. Oh
Speaker 5: we're that guy is making curious choices.
Speaker 4: He's hearing what works for him. I'm gonna go to
Speaker 4: the Starbucks drive through. What do you think about that?
Speaker 5: I love it. I think it's a good it's a
Speaker 5: good plot twist in our podcast.
Speaker 4: It's a good.
Speaker 2: I think it's a good I as you know, I've
Speaker 2: always been very self conscious about how much I laugh
Speaker 2: on this podcast, and I've.
Speaker 5: Been self conscious about the fact that you've been more
Speaker 5: conscious of it, and I've heard you laughing lesson I
Speaker 5: think I'm less funny.
Speaker 4: Really?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Is that? How is that the trickle down of this
Speaker 4: neurosis of mine?
Speaker 2: You try and fix yourself and you're hurting well this episode,
Speaker 2: I was just gonna say, I simply don't feel that
Speaker 2: way anymore. Oh good, I feel free because also I
Speaker 2: realized not that many people make me laugh as hard
Speaker 2: as you make me laugh. Oh thanks, So I might
Speaker 2: as well do it in real time. Why repress it?
Speaker 5: And I'm not getting any enjoyment out of this if
Speaker 5: I'm not laughing. Yes, yeah, like right now, that moment
Speaker 5: was really painfully.
Speaker 4: I didn't like it.
Speaker 2: I love the invention of Starbucks drive through. I know
Speaker 2: it's wrong.
Speaker 4: I know it's.
Speaker 5: Supposed to be supporting some struggling mod pop coffee people
Speaker 5: that are squishing the coffee with their feet and a
Speaker 5: barrel right now, but I might be confusing that with
Speaker 5: the wine.
Speaker 4: Produc more wine than coffee.
Speaker 2: But I just love it to be able to have
Speaker 2: a coffee.
Speaker 4: It just comes right onto the back of my car.
Speaker 5: Whoops, whips. Yeah, we've probably mentioned Starbucks enough on this
Speaker 5: podcast that we should be getting something from them, just
Speaker 5: free coffee.
Speaker 4: Starbucks should do We would be great.
Speaker 2: And I think is you know, you're Starbucks sometimes and
Speaker 2: it's music and then but you're also being forced to
Speaker 2: overhear conversations.
Speaker 4: They should play our podcast at Starbucks as.
Speaker 2: The dominant conversation and then people can talk under it
Speaker 2: so that you don't have to listen to some adults conversation.
Speaker 2: You can listen to hilarious, fascinating conversation.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and they'll still play Sarah McLaughlan or whatever that.
Speaker 4: Can come in and out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, but mostly it's us talking all throughout Starbucks
Speaker 2: across the land and internationally, because I did find Starbucks
Speaker 2: in every city that I went to in Australia.
Speaker 5: Oh did you?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I looked, is there?
Speaker 5: I and you? Did you hang out with you? You
Speaker 5: were just saying they're kind of it's kind of like
Speaker 5: Hawaii and everyone has relaxed and kind of for lack
Speaker 5: of a better term, ire, I never said I read
Speaker 5: you said they were a little irim on. I think
Speaker 5: you did, like remember you did that offensive accent and
Speaker 5: you said, ah, yeah, and I'm like, please stop doing that.
Speaker 5: But I said you and then you were like, what's what? Well,
Speaker 5: I think that I'll like it. I oddly I did this.
Speaker 5: There's something a movie called The bra Boys. They're like
Speaker 5: kind of this rough and tumble, gangy surf group of
Speaker 5: I don't know how poor they were though, because every
Speaker 5: they had enough documentation for this documentary that they all
Speaker 5: had video cameras, So it's like I didn't grow up
Speaker 5: with a bunch of video cameras. Yeah either, Yeah, how
Speaker 5: rough was it for them? But anyway, they one of
Speaker 5: them was like going to prison. He killed someone, but
Speaker 5: he still was in this contest and beat Kelly Slater
Speaker 5: or something. But and they are scary, but they I
Speaker 5: went to the red carpet thing and interviewed. Oddly, one
Speaker 5: of the producers was this guy from Montana. It was
Speaker 5: just a weird uh thing. I hate it when I
Speaker 5: start a story and I forget what direction I want.
Speaker 5: The point is they made me do like, oh I
Speaker 5: want to audition for the Narrative movie and and uh,
Speaker 5: Russell Crowe had something to do with it. So he
Speaker 5: was there and they were going to make a movie
Speaker 5: based on this documentary on the boys. Yeah. I don't
Speaker 5: think they ever did. But I was like doing an
Speaker 5: Australian accent because my boss made me do it for
Speaker 5: we're having some hair issues. Sorry, no, it's okay, quit fidgeting, Karen.
Speaker 5: Uh I it was, but I really worked on it
Speaker 5: to where I was like, well, I'm going to audition
Speaker 5: for the movie. What I want to be one of
Speaker 5: the broad boys that whole dumb angle. But then I
Speaker 5: really worked on my and they actually were all like,
Speaker 5: that's not a bad accent. Oh, it was just I
Speaker 5: was like blooming onions, yeah, crying, you know, I was
Speaker 5: saying that stupid shit. But Russell Crowe, and I think
Speaker 5: it was just on the heels of Russell Crowe throwing
Speaker 5: a phone in a hotel or beating someone. I don't know.
Speaker 5: He was the nicest person ever, really, Yeah, I really
Speaker 5: liked Russell. Everyone was nice. Yeah, this guy's had like
Speaker 5: I'm going to murder you tattooed on their neck. And
Speaker 5: they would listen and they were sweet. And then when
Speaker 5: we were done, I was like, thanks for doing that,
Speaker 5: and they're like, no, thanks for coming here. I appreciate it.
Speaker 5: They were all I was like, Australia, love it. They're
Speaker 5: not a whirlwind Tasmanian, you know, like you always think.
Speaker 5: I always think, oh, it's like the wild West and
Speaker 5: everyone's like a little crazy, you know, because of the
Speaker 5: Tasmanian devil.
Speaker 2: Well, I feel like they might be a tad bit
Speaker 2: racist and sexist in a way that's like they're just.
Speaker 4: Behind about seven years. Sure that might be a thing.
Speaker 5: Though, it's going to be the next thing I brought up.
Speaker 2: Really yeah, But I will say that on the heels
Speaker 2: of saying that we is hypocritical.
Speaker 4: Every single person. I mean, that was the.
Speaker 5: Lovely so long as you're not an aboriginal or how
Speaker 5: is that the way that there? What is their relationship
Speaker 5: to like the native folks there?
Speaker 4: I don't really know. I was only there for ten days.
Speaker 5: Because in Montana it's mostly everyone is white. So if
Speaker 5: you're racist, you're just being an idiot or you're it's
Speaker 5: the It really is the the kind of racism where
Speaker 5: it is someone being what's the word ignorant, ignorant. Thank you,
Speaker 5: good god. What's the isn't that ironic word? Did not?
Speaker 5: What's that word that means? You don't know any better?
Speaker 5: But thanks? Thanks, It's all very subtle. Here's my own Irish. Hello, Shamrocks.
Speaker 5: I just have to mention a thing from the place.
Speaker 4: Right, yep, you just name a thing I've always.
Speaker 5: Been uncomfortable about where I'm from people it's openly okay
Speaker 5: to be have animosity to or it's Native American people.
Speaker 5: I don't like it. It always bothered.
Speaker 4: It's so weird.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I think it's still a little like that.
Speaker 4: I think San Francisco's like that with Asian people.
Speaker 5: Yeah, everyone's got their thing. I'm not racist, well except
Speaker 5: with the thing that exactly applies to where I live. Yes,
Speaker 5: but everyone's that way, do you. Yeah. I'll just have
Speaker 5: a iced coffee okay, in the uh you know, the
Speaker 5: medium size. I don't want to get nervous.
Speaker 4: Okay, no milk in it.
Speaker 5: No, I'm off the cow nice. I Yeah, I'm trying
Speaker 5: not to trying to have a clean, flavorless AUSSI diet.
Speaker 2: I mean, I definitely felt better when I came back.
Speaker 2: I was like, this is because also, everyone is so
Speaker 2: good looking there.
Speaker 4: They're so beautiful it's crazy.
Speaker 5: Well, that's one thing I've noticed about meeting Australian people
Speaker 5: here is uh, they're easy on the old eyes.
Speaker 4: Yeah, for real, the old.
Speaker 5: They're They're inspirational in the old boner department. Guy or girl,
Speaker 5: let's sleep over.
Speaker 2: Another one of these high maintenance sleepovers.
Speaker 5: Shit, I wish we were kids so we didn't have
Speaker 5: to do this. What if I said that during sucks creepies?
Speaker 5: I wish we were kids to me, remember when things
Speaker 5: were simple. I'm done.
Speaker 4: They're still pretty simple.
Speaker 5: I'm done, I say. That's what I say. It all
Speaker 5: a sleepovers.
Speaker 6: I wish we were kids so we wouldn't have to
Speaker 6: do this so depressing. It is kind of a little bit.
Speaker 6: God's fun to be around, you know what, I will say.
Speaker 2: I did have the Wait a second, I'm sure remember
Speaker 2: this at the end of this order.
Speaker 4: Sure, let's see what happens. Can I have a gand
Speaker 4: iced coffee?
Speaker 5: Yes?
Speaker 2: And also a grande mocha iced with just one pump of.
Speaker 5: Chocolate suffe and anything nice coffee? No, just the coffee,
Speaker 5: no thanks, okay, and let's.
Speaker 4: No thanks. Anything else that's it.
Speaker 5: Should we get her name for the credit.
Speaker 2: We're gonna have to have you signed this piecepaper.
Speaker 5: Yeah you don't mind.
Speaker 4: I might ask you to cut that part out.
Speaker 5: Okay, Yeah I can do that, can you? I mean
Speaker 5: it takes a little longer, But is it a big pain?
Speaker 5: It all is? All of it? All of it is
Speaker 5: a pain. I'm I'm, I'm, I'm. I'm not that guy
Speaker 5: that is efficient and good at his job in a
Speaker 5: sexy way. I'm like, ad fuck.
Speaker 4: Gott damn fucking thing.
Speaker 5: Ah, I doing that that way during stand up even.
Speaker 2: I just keep finding that I say things on podcasts
Speaker 2: that I'm like a month later, I'm like, I don't.
Speaker 2: People don't need to know that about me, right, saying
Speaker 2: things trying to think of something interesting.
Speaker 5: Well, that wasn't that revealing. I mean, we've been blurting
Speaker 5: out stuff. It's way worse than one pump of mocha? Please,
Speaker 5: and now do I have to cut that out? It's
Speaker 5: not that embarrassing. It's one pump, you know what we'd
Speaker 5: have to cut out? Can I have an extra three
Speaker 5: pumps of moch Shay?
Speaker 4: Are you breathing like that?
Speaker 2: It's okay, It's just me it's just my hand.
Speaker 5: It's just your hand, everybody.
Speaker 4: Nobody can it's your.
Speaker 5: Hand, everybody. I want a man with a slow hand.
Speaker 5: Isn't song about defending yourself.
Speaker 2: I want a man that's not gonna hit me too
Speaker 2: quick so I can get away.
Speaker 5: You know, an easy touch, you know? Oh god, it's funny.
Speaker 5: Let's break down lyrics on our next podcast.
Speaker 2: We should we should have multiple podcast That song actually
Speaker 2: made was popular when I was like ten, and it
Speaker 2: made me very uncomfortable. I was like, this is about sex,
Speaker 2: and we should be sitting in the car listening to it.
Speaker 5: You're right, I love with and ease.
Speaker 4: Gross and it's none of my business. Ros Pointer, Yeah,
Speaker 4: it's just sounds.
Speaker 5: You're making me think of my parents.
Speaker 4: Fucking yeah, this discussion is not for my ears.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Oh man, there's so many songs from that era
Speaker 5: that it's like, the only people I knew that had
Speaker 5: sex were my parents upstairs, So all those songs were
Speaker 5: super gross.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Ew, I don't want my dad to have an easy
Speaker 5: touch on my mom. Ow Oh, slow, speed up those hands.
Speaker 6: Put it over it so faster now, Chris, you said
Speaker 6: you were on the road for six weeks.
Speaker 5: I was, Yeah, tell.
Speaker 2: Me give me a quick and I mean quick oversight
Speaker 2: of where you went, what happened?
Speaker 5: Oh, let me see where there I go. I went
Speaker 5: to San Francisco and did some shows. I loved that city,
Speaker 5: was like, you're in It was just shows in bars
Speaker 5: that we did this, just some shows. It wasn't nothing.
Speaker 5: But then before that, I was in Tahoe, which you mentioned,
Speaker 5: and that was around the time that the whole tiki
Speaker 5: torch white nationalized shit was happening, and I was in Nevada.
Speaker 5: You're in Nevada, You're not in There's a difference. I'm sorry, no,
Speaker 5: there is. But everyone around me looked like those the
Speaker 5: kids in that group, and I was like mad there.
Speaker 5: But and you're in a casino and that's depressing a
Speaker 5: cigarette smoke in an elevator. But then you can go
Speaker 5: out the back door and just hike up mountains. And
Speaker 5: I got all into hiking. I got these cool hiking
Speaker 5: trail shoes and it was good for me. It was
Speaker 5: like a healthy time at a let's good, you know,
Speaker 5: That's what I gleaned from it. The audience there was
Speaker 5: fifteen up, and it was good for me to be
Speaker 5: in front of nice people that want to enjoy the thing,
Speaker 5: but they're old and dumb and no offense. You saw
Speaker 5: me and in Tahoe it was good to say. And
Speaker 5: there were some podcasts people that drove all the way
Speaker 5: from somewhere and they were sweet. But really, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 5: that always happens. It's so cool.
Speaker 4: That's great.
Speaker 5: It's always just one or two people, but it's cool
Speaker 5: when they come.
Speaker 2: And it's almost like the it's this small mighty group
Speaker 2: of people who are like, we're standing by you guys,
Speaker 2: even if you don't put.
Speaker 4: Out your podcast right right, right, it's really nice.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean when we don't put out our podcast, I
Speaker 2: get tweets from people like all week long.
Speaker 5: Well, I figured it was nothing compared to well now
Speaker 5: I'm gonna have that. I feel bad for Shinead O'Connor.
Speaker 5: I thought it was nothing com beared to what you
Speaker 5: get now with my favorite murder. That's got to be
Speaker 5: you had to like you have to like filter those, right,
Speaker 5: It's got to be so many yes that it's like, okay.
Speaker 4: There's some crazy stuff.
Speaker 2: There was something the other day that I read in
Speaker 2: passing wasn't even really paying attention, and it bummed me out.
Speaker 4: For like a week and it was just a thing
Speaker 4: like it was two people talking.
Speaker 2: I don't know why I was on it at It's
Speaker 2: like someone and it was just a shitty comment that
Speaker 2: was very.
Speaker 4: I'm sure identif.
Speaker 2: About it didn't really matter, it was about the podcast,
Speaker 2: but it was one of those things where I was like,
Speaker 2: it's you can't there's that side of it, and no
Speaker 2: one ever talks about because everyone so badly wants success.
Speaker 2: People want something good to happen in their life that
Speaker 2: they pretend like there's but there is an equal downside
Speaker 2: to the upside, and you have to get right with
Speaker 2: it very quickly, even though there's no training and there's
Speaker 2: no real way to do it.
Speaker 4: You have to very quickly get used.
Speaker 2: To being discussed and being open to being talked about
Speaker 2: by people who aren't I.
Speaker 5: Would think for you right now, ups with as far
Speaker 5: as podcasts go, it's so good for you right now.
Speaker 5: I'm excited for you, and it's got to be exciting. Then, yeah,
Speaker 5: go ahead and bring on a few bad things, yes.
Speaker 4: Like you can't be too precious.
Speaker 5: It's pretty it's pretty cool what's happening right and it
Speaker 5: makes me wish you and I had done a theme
Speaker 5: like the Alzheimer's Night. But then that would have come
Speaker 5: to a close a dramatic one, yes, yeah.
Speaker 4: A double dramatic again.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's like, well, I guess this is kind of
Speaker 5: wraps it.
Speaker 2: Up for us, you know, But that would have we
Speaker 2: would have I don't know, there's a lot of responsibility
Speaker 2: in that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we'd have to we would have had to have
Speaker 5: done a bunch of research. I would have to reel
Speaker 5: it in. I would always feel bad being ridiculously silly
Speaker 5: and wanting to talk about farting in front of a box.
Speaker 2: And also, it doesn't the reason that thing hit is
Speaker 2: purely what was happening culturally, not purely, but like, there's
Speaker 2: so much more to it than just what we were doing.
Speaker 2: It wasn't a planned it's just like, wet this thing out.
Speaker 2: That was just like anything else we put out, but
Speaker 2: just because of the alchemy in the air.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, well, I'm glad we do this one.
Speaker 5: I'm glad it's about nothing and we can be silly.
Speaker 4: Yeah that's right. Well, that's that's the most fun. And
Speaker 4: you can just do whatever.
Speaker 5: It is fun. I want to do whatever and just
Speaker 5: have fun.
Speaker 4: Yeah, why, that's a fucking wrong.
Speaker 5: Oh, sorry, there's no theme. Sorry, we're not picking up
Speaker 5: someone at four am at the expense of our own enjoyment.
Speaker 2: There is times hate it, hate it, hate being there,
Speaker 2: hate it, hate having to book people that we don't
Speaker 2: even necessarily like me my person.
Speaker 5: Yeah, oh, I'll start saying names.
Speaker 4: He doesn't give it fun.
Speaker 5: So far away pit ripped open.
Speaker 2: No, you have to take a swimming class with a
Speaker 2: bunch of women.
Speaker 5: Oh, I can't wait to go tonight. I'm gonna really
Speaker 5: wear hard you promise, mm hmm. I'm gonna make my
Speaker 5: belly button touch my spine.
Speaker 2: I'll show you pull it all the way back.
Speaker 5: Oh, I forgot my grippy socks. I have these socks
Speaker 5: with rubber on the bottom I'm supposed to wear.
Speaker 2: Look at this gorgeous money they have down there.
Speaker 5: It's transparent.
Speaker 4: There's a strip of sea through.
Speaker 2: There's the Queen of England.
Speaker 5: Looks very much like a Canadian five, scept smaller.
Speaker 4: Pretty nice, right.
Speaker 5: My favorite is the Canadian five looks a lot like that.
Speaker 5: Now there's a transparent thing. But the old one with
Speaker 5: the hockey players is my favorite because it says the
Speaker 5: quote about the blasphemy. Yeah, my years, the years of
Speaker 5: my youth were spending school, in church and on the ice,
Speaker 5: and it was the days on the ice that mattered
Speaker 5: the most. And it's on their mind. It's like hockey, Yeah,
Speaker 5: it's fucking great. I'm like, can you. I mean, that's
Speaker 5: the last thing our country would allow. Hey, which either way,
Speaker 5: it's like you're saying fuck you to school and church.
Speaker 4: It's pretty badass.
Speaker 5: That's just what. That's the kind of thoughts that guy
Speaker 5: we saw what the fanny pack has in his head
Speaker 5: as he jogs.
Speaker 4: That's right, that guy, thank you.
Speaker 5: Will you do my straw for me?
Speaker 4: Here?
Speaker 2: I won't touch your part.
Speaker 5: You can put it on. It's a turd covered punk.
Speaker 5: I s where it is. That's another thing that someone
Speaker 5: can research. Are firework punks made.
Speaker 4: Of manure and then you put them in your mouth
Speaker 4: to prove it. That's the second part of the question.
Speaker 5: That may have been my comedy routine.
Speaker 4: No, just not in the it's a piece you're working on.
Speaker 5: It's one of my skits. It's not in the routine yet,
Speaker 5: is it?
Speaker 4: Would you call it a new chunk?
Speaker 2: There's nothing I want to hear anyone talk about less
Speaker 2: than a chunk they're working on.
Speaker 4: Yeah, ever, I know comedy.
Speaker 5: Yeah. The other night, this kid was like, oh, can
Speaker 5: I run this bit by you? And I'm like, oh no,
Speaker 5: But then he did, and I was like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 5: that will work. Sorry, I booby trapped your phone and
Speaker 5: said it there.
Speaker 4: It turned out to be an okay bit.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean a miracle. Its just like, yeah, that'll work.
Speaker 5: I guess why don't you do it? And then it
Speaker 5: didn't work.
Speaker 2: Well. Also, because I've never understood people asking that question
Speaker 2: when if anyone ever, anyone is ever going to say
Speaker 2: to you, all anyone will ever say to you when
Speaker 2: you ask that questions. Yeah, that's good because you've put
Speaker 2: them in an insanely awkward position and they don't want
Speaker 2: to deal with your dumb bullshit. No, like it's such
Speaker 2: a weird pretending that it can be any other way.
Speaker 5: Yep, it's true. You're putting someone in a weird position
Speaker 5: and they're going to lie to you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they have to. You're making them lie to you.
Speaker 5: Yeah, don't make people lie to you. Stop it. Stop it.
Speaker 5: Specific person we're talking to right now, stop it, Larry. Don't.
Speaker 5: I don't know anyone named Larry. That's why you know
Speaker 5: I say in that in my I just was like, oh,
Speaker 5: I'll just put the name Larry here. When I had
Speaker 5: a joke about it, was just like, oh, my uncle
Speaker 5: Larry's back from the army or whatever. I don't know.
Speaker 5: And then I realized I do have an uncle Larry.
Speaker 5: I have two uncle Larry's. You do, And I was
Speaker 5: I was not thinking of either of them. It's just
Speaker 5: a name, I say, And then I kept saying it,
Speaker 5: and then I was like, oh my god, what if
Speaker 5: my my real uncle Larry that's alive heard this and
Speaker 5: thought I was talking about him.
Speaker 2: You are?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I wasn't though. It's just a name, a name
Speaker 5: that I plugged in after the word uncle, and then
Speaker 5: it happens to apply to a very specific person in
Speaker 5: my family.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 4: That's how names work.
Speaker 2: I think it's amazing that the second I say I don't.
Speaker 4: Work out your chunk, you work out a chunk on me.
Speaker 5: Who I did that? I'm just kidding? Oh god, yeah,
Speaker 5: what if I try? What do you think? Should I
Speaker 5: take that one to Tahoe?
Speaker 2: It wasn't good. Was the Uncle Larry chunk good? It's
Speaker 2: more of a common on its meta.
Speaker 5: And I also went to Winnipeg, Canada for a festival,
Speaker 5: and it was really really pretty there.
Speaker 4: Was it already cold?
Speaker 5: It's no, it wasn't. It was hot, but it was crazy.
Speaker 5: You're not that. I always thought I was further into
Speaker 5: Canada than I really was. You're just like right down
Speaker 5: by the border. Yeah. Yeah, but it's still one.
Speaker 4: Of the coldest places in the world.
Speaker 5: Yeah. I think it gets really cold there because it's
Speaker 5: the proximity to those goddamn lakes, all those lakes, even
Speaker 5: the finger ones.
Speaker 2: Y oh yeah, they'll finger it right up.
Speaker 5: Those legs and when they get small enough, they finger
Speaker 5: right up.
Speaker 4: We're being saucy on this episode, in a.
Speaker 5: Little little spicy I don't care. I don't care.
Speaker 2: That's what it is. It's the new This is the
Speaker 2: Fall twenty seventeen.
Speaker 4: Do you need it right? Very different election.
Speaker 5: It's a new collection. That's what I wanted to say,
Speaker 5: and then you said it made me laugh, so I
Speaker 5: wish I had said it. Anyway, we're coming up on
Speaker 5: this hour here.
Speaker 4: Coming up on the hour. Yeah, we should have.
Speaker 2: The idea that do you remember the first time we
Speaker 2: told somebody we were going to do an.
Speaker 5: Autism I mean Alzheimer's the podcast.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the way I think it was Destin Martin, the
Speaker 2: way he stared at us with no expression on his face.
Speaker 2: Oh right, I don't think that could have ever been
Speaker 2: a possibility.
Speaker 4: No, it was too depressing.
Speaker 5: Yes, I agree. Even just now when I said it,
Speaker 5: I'm like, you know what, maybe that's not true. I
Speaker 5: guess what I was thinking more is it was like,
Speaker 5: I do like that we have a free wheeling, unscripted thing.
Speaker 5: But I do appreciate when, and I'm sure you do
Speaker 5: now too, when there is a format and a theme. Yes,
Speaker 5: but I do, like you know, I have I have
Speaker 5: fun on these other ones where it's all scripted out
Speaker 5: and at but it's not as fun to do.
Speaker 4: That's all a scripted podcast.
Speaker 2: Yeah, or not scripted whatever, but like thoroughly themes, so
Speaker 2: you're either playing a game or like it's.
Speaker 5: Very exact exactly usually it's a game.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I get that. Oh because you did you just
Speaker 2: did International Water.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's there. That's an example, perfect one.
Speaker 4: I love that show.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's very fun, but it's like you, I you're
Speaker 5: you're not loosey goosey, but they thought this last one
Speaker 5: I was really loosey goosey yeah, so never mind, that's it.
Speaker 5: I hate it when you don't have a point.
Speaker 4: You kept it loose. That's always your point.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Uh, it's good for your health.
Speaker 4: That makes me think, uh uh something about international waters?
Speaker 5: Oh England, m Dave Holmes. Shit, I did it. I
Speaker 5: loved Michelle Balloon and then she went to visit with you.
Speaker 2: That's right, told me about it. No, it was it
Speaker 2: was more about Oh, I can't remember.
Speaker 4: I guess. Here's what I'll say.
Speaker 2: This is my advice to anyone who is starting a
Speaker 2: podcast or has a podcast that they think could be
Speaker 2: doing better somehow.
Speaker 4: Just talk faster. Oh, just talk faster.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 5: Interesting.
Speaker 2: In my opinion, so many people do podcasts and they
Speaker 2: do it as if they're looking for their keys. Oh
Speaker 2: it's that kind of like I'm thinking about what I'm
Speaker 2: talking about as I'm talking. So it's not that rushed.
Speaker 2: You got to know what you're talking about.
Speaker 5: I never really pay attention to the speed at which
Speaker 5: I'm speaking. I mean I do. I suppose just when
Speaker 5: you're giving a timeframe and you have to do a
Speaker 5: certain amount of jokes. Yeah, you're not gonna lolla.
Speaker 4: Gag, No, that's right.
Speaker 2: But I think in podcasts people feel free to and
Speaker 2: it's it makes it so boring.
Speaker 5: And I'm going to add to that unsolicited advice to
Speaker 5: whoever out there might maybe or maybe not needing it.
Speaker 5: Don't say, uh, there's people that while they're talking there
Speaker 5: and see like that I tried to do it. I
Speaker 5: don't think I do that. You don't unless you're actually
Speaker 5: trying to think of something, right.
Speaker 2: But I guess my point is like, already have thought
Speaker 2: of it if you're going to record.
Speaker 5: It exactly right, yeah.
Speaker 2: Because a lot of podcasts are just like a fucking
Speaker 2: mind numbingly dull conversation like this one.
Speaker 5: Sure, exactly, But there's.
Speaker 2: A piece that we keep with each other about it.
Speaker 5: There's a lot of smoke and mirrors to let you
Speaker 5: know we you know, it distracts you from the fact
Speaker 5: that we're really talking about bullshit.
Speaker 4: Yes, you know thoroughly.
Speaker 5: And one of those is talking fast. You say a thing,
Speaker 5: I immediately say a thing, and pretty soon no one
Speaker 5: knows that we haven't talked about anything.
Speaker 2: It is as if we've always been talking about it.
Speaker 2: Have you ever gone to yakis Oh?
Speaker 5: No, makes me think of vomit. What do you think
Speaker 5: that guy's popping.
Speaker 2: Up yaks yakki's you.
Speaker 5: Know yakking is I mean where I'm from. That's when you.
Speaker 4: Throw up, that's vomit.
Speaker 5: Yeah, well I'm not going to eat there. You gotta
Speaker 5: be careful. Will you name a place?
Speaker 4: It's true?
Speaker 2: Did you know that the Nova didn't sell in Mexico?
Speaker 2: It was like, the Nova's like one of Chevy's best
Speaker 2: selling cars in America, but they tried to export it
Speaker 2: to Mexico and it didn't sell because nova means no
Speaker 2: go and oh.
Speaker 5: Wow, no one did that research. Huh, that's really funny.
Speaker 4: The seventies when nobody did research.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yet explain to me then the popularity of the
Speaker 5: dump cake.
Speaker 4: People love to ship and people love to eat cake.
Speaker 4: Done and done.
Speaker 5: I don't know why. I like both those things too.
Speaker 4: Who doesn't.
Speaker 5: Sometimes at the same time, I'll bring a piece of
Speaker 5: cake while I shit there and ship like a quick
Speaker 5: fill just in with the out the old.
Speaker 2: It's just yeah, it's the infinity eight going through you.
Speaker 5: It is, it is. It is actually the shape of
Speaker 5: my intestine, number eight.
Speaker 2: They're all laying down eight just in your guts and
Speaker 2: then you've got the lady Kathy Baker what's her name,
Speaker 2: Kathy something that does the infomercial. Have you seen the
Speaker 2: dumb cake infomercial?
Speaker 5: Oh right, Baker Davis Junior.
Speaker 2: She just does a box of cake mix and then
Speaker 2: like a diet coke and some cheers.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's so broa fucking nuts. It's so pop it
Speaker 5: is it is? Yeah, that is. That was an early
Speaker 5: sign of you know, what is happening now. I guess
Speaker 5: people loosely call it the apocalypse. Yeah, you know, I
Speaker 5: don't know of it. It is because there's a real
Speaker 5: one that's like happening environmentally, but that'll take a while.
Speaker 5: I think we need to get over ourselves and realize
Speaker 5: it just means we shouldn't have kids because it's really
Speaker 5: going to fuck them over. Then there's also the one
Speaker 5: where it's like, well, hurricanes and fires all okay, So
Speaker 5: then this is is there a god? Then someone's ending it? Yeah,
Speaker 5: some powers that be.
Speaker 4: Someone's doing something.
Speaker 5: So I don't know if it's a real environmental one
Speaker 5: or if it's just like you know, just and then people.
Speaker 5: It's all happening at one. It's all happening very fast.
Speaker 5: But anyway, that infomercial for the dump cake was an early.
Speaker 2: Sign, pick your favorite soda. It's it with a box
Speaker 2: of cake and some pineapple rings, and then her fat
Speaker 2: fingers putting the pineapple rings down into the pans.
Speaker 5: You can hear her breathing, and she leans down to
Speaker 5: do it, and then she puts on her sleep mask.
Speaker 4: Then she can keep breathing.
Speaker 5: She just puts pineapple rings in her nostrils to alleviate her. Yes, yes,
Speaker 5: thank you. Put the pineapple ran up your nostrils so
Speaker 5: you can breathe another night, your favorite soda down your throat,
Speaker 5: opening up your phone hole.
Speaker 2: You're awa in a candy bar. Everything she breaks in
Speaker 2: is just like the grossest breakup of these of old bread.
Speaker 5: No Kathy, just a list of things that shouldn't be together,
Speaker 5: exactly together. Oh god, I'm okay. I'm glad to watch
Speaker 5: that on the old tube.
Speaker 2: It's the best, the old tube of me, the old YouTube,
Speaker 2: the old YouTube.
Speaker 5: Well, we're coming up on your plate. Anything you want
Speaker 5: to plug. Oh shit, you're just gonna be in town
Speaker 5: for a while and you're gonna relax and work on yourself.
Speaker 4: I'm working on myself.
Speaker 2: I'm maybe I might get a job at this Whole
Speaker 2: Foods when it opens.
Speaker 5: Oh that could.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I work in figs.
Speaker 5: Yeah, big section fig I've always kind of wanted to be, uh,
Speaker 5: the guy in charge of all those different olives with.
Speaker 2: Your own little cart. That that thing that it's like
Speaker 2: a specialty.
Speaker 4: Thing these days.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's always weird when there's something like a specialty.
Speaker 5: I don't like it when the salta cart comes up
Speaker 5: on me. It's like a you're is too specific. Yeah,
Speaker 5: moving along squeaky wheels. Yeah, me too. Let's let's just
Speaker 5: get ready for the holidays.
Speaker 4: Oh, we also have we're doing La Podfest.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, that'll be great if you are coming, We
Speaker 5: are doing that. You're also doing one for my favorite murder, right.
Speaker 4: That's right. It's the whole La Podfast family together again.
Speaker 5: It's going to be great. It's been a while. I've
Speaker 5: only done it as a guest, so and then you'll
Speaker 5: see who our guest is. It'll be a surprise, a.
Speaker 4: Fun surprise for La Pod people.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it'll be great.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I did it for the first time last
Speaker 2: year and it was awesome.
Speaker 5: And what are the dates. It's in a couple of weeks.
Speaker 4: I don't remember.
Speaker 2: We have an email we have to answer, yes, yeah.
Speaker 5: We'll do that when we get okay, and then you'll
Speaker 5: all know after we answer that email.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Cryst will dub it in afterward.
Speaker 5: All right. Cool. Well, it's good to see you again, friend,
Speaker 5: You too, my friend. Yeah, Let's let us see each
Speaker 5: other more often.
Speaker 4: Okay, I'm around.
Speaker 5: You've been listening to a podcast called do you Need
Speaker 5: a Ride? E?
Speaker 4: Y n A r.
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 5: That actually fit? Are leaving?
Speaker 1: I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 3: Either way, we want to be there.
Speaker 7: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us
Speaker 7: time and they turning on and Gabe, we want to
Speaker 7: send you off inside.
Speaker 1: We wanna welcome you back home.
Speaker 2: Tell us all about it?
Speaker 4: Re scared her?
Speaker 2: Was it fine?
Speaker 5: Now?
Speaker 1: Porn? Do you do you need to ride? Do you
Speaker 1: need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you
Speaker 1: need to ride?
Speaker 5: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need.
Speaker 5: With Karen and Chris mm hm