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Speaker 1: All from Johnny.

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Speaker 2: Hello, Hello Johnny, what's going on?

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Speaker 1: Well, Man, I'm chilling, I'm breathing. I'm doing all right,

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Speaker 1: you know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's uh, that's pretty good. That's pretty good. If

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Speaker 2: you can breathe, that's like a good sign of prosperity

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Speaker 2: in my book.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, thankful for it, man, I'm glad to be here.

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Speaker 2: So what's up, Johnny? What do you want to talk about?

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Speaker 1: Well, I had a pretty rough three years since graduated

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Speaker 1: high school. I've like lost a lot of friends over

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Speaker 1: the past three years, been in a pretty terrible relationship,

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Speaker 1: just like going through.

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Speaker 2: My twenties, you know, and you're what twenty one?

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Speaker 1: I am twenty one?

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Speaker 2: Why did you lose a lot of friends?

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Speaker 1: So I kind of just gradually stopped talking to them

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Speaker 1: because I don't know if it's just like a standard

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Speaker 1: with high school friends that you know, over time you

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Speaker 1: just lose them. But I don't know. I kind of

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Speaker 1: felt like, like, I don't know, it was just I

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Speaker 1: was really disrespected a lot, and I wasn't the most

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I wasn't the best guy either, but

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Speaker 1: I kind of get made fun of a lot, like

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Speaker 1: I'm a pretty big dude and Uh, they'd kind of

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Speaker 1: make fun of me for them, say a whole lot

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Speaker 1: of other terrible things, and you know, I just felt

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Speaker 1: like I grew out of them, you know, But I

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Speaker 1: don't know, Like last year, I was on a three

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Speaker 1: month drug binge and I was just like holding grudges

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Speaker 1: all the time, Like my friends would kind of do

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Speaker 1: things that slightly annoyed me. And I think with the

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Speaker 1: with the drug use and like Chris, I just stop

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Speaker 1: talking to them. I really pushed everyone away and they

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Speaker 1: led me having a manic episode and I went to

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Speaker 1: a mental hospital spent about ten days there.

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Speaker 2: So let me ask you this, when you talk to

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Speaker 2: real therapists about these issues, what do they tell you.

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Speaker 1: What's funny is I actually had two therapists, and uh,

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Speaker 1: we kind of talked about the present moment and what

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Speaker 1: I'm doing at the time, you know. There I I

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Speaker 1: guess the weird thing about therapy is when you've talked

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Speaker 1: to therapists, you're always talking about what's going on in

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Speaker 1: the present time so that you're okay now. And you know,

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Speaker 1: I don't think I really talked about a lot of

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Speaker 1: the crazy stuff that happened in the past. More they

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Speaker 1: like just the reason why it happened and how I

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Speaker 1: can understand it. So I guess they just kind of

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Speaker 1: try to help me understand it more.

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Speaker 2: Okay, And has that been successful and helped you understand

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Speaker 2: the past?

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Speaker 1: I understood that I need to be very careful with

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Speaker 1: my life, I mean, especially with friends. I'll be honest, man,

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Speaker 1: Like I I first got high when I was eight

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Speaker 1: years old, and it wasn't even my fault. I didn't

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Speaker 1: even know what I was doing. I found a can

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Speaker 1: of computer duster and I put my mouth on it

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Speaker 1: and some air came out, and I like finished the

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Speaker 1: whole can. And that's when I was eight years old,

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Speaker 1: high off computer duster. And I'm surprised I'm not dead, dude.

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Speaker 1: Like just that and smoking weed at fourteen has led

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Speaker 1: to a chain reaction of drug abuse and a lot

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Speaker 1: of pain, and it's really turnished a lot of my relationships.

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Speaker 2: What do you what is your relationship like with drugs now?

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Speaker 1: The only thing I abused at the moment it's adderall.

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Speaker 1: I have a really bad habit of like eating a

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Speaker 1: bunch of adderall and like watching porn for a long time.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, but yeah.

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Speaker 2: Man, so no adderall, adderall definitely makes it. Adderall like

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Speaker 2: taking a bunch of Adderall and jerking off for like

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Speaker 2: an entire day. I've been there before. It's uh, it's

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Speaker 2: an intoxicating combination.

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Speaker 1: And I'm glad you can relate.

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Speaker 2: Man.

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Speaker 1: I was a little scared to tell you that because

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh, dude, I'm gonna be aner man

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Speaker 1: if people are gonna know me as a uner on

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Speaker 1: the internet forever. You know what I mean?

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Speaker 2: Nah, Man, that's what I mean, Adderall. I mean in

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Speaker 2: my experience with Adderall, and I'm talking about and by

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Speaker 2: the way, I'm just talking about ship. I don't know

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Speaker 2: what the fuck I'm talking about. But it's just you,

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Speaker 2: you and me, two fucking dudes having a chat right here.

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Speaker 2: That's what this is. So for me, Adderall, I felt

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Speaker 2: like it always made me like optimistic, you know what

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Speaker 2: I mean, Because like I was going through life like

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Speaker 2: in a very like depressed mood, and Adderall like elevates

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Speaker 2: you and makes you think that all your hopes and

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Speaker 2: dreams are possible, and then you celebrate that by by

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Speaker 2: jacking off for six hours. That's been my experience, dude, Yeah, easy,

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Speaker 2: you know how it is, man, It's the last time

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Speaker 2: I did it was Sunday, which was yesterday.

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Speaker 1: So you know the problem with being an addict is

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Speaker 1: you always say like one last time and like my

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Speaker 1: last time, little I guess, like I just I ran

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Speaker 1: out of adderall so like I can't really do it anymore.

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Speaker 1: But it just sucks because like my jopamine is gonna

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Speaker 1: be low shit and I kind of get anxiety, so

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to wait three months for that's a

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Speaker 1: level out. But you know, I'm not doing coughs if anymore.

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Speaker 1: I hate lead now, Like I have some medicals in

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Speaker 1: my closet, but uh, I don't do them because I

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Speaker 1: was actually, uh, it's gonna sound really stupid, but it

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Speaker 1: was kind of a Ricky not really a Rocky steak,

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Speaker 1: but I just people have gone to the emergency room before.

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Speaker 1: I took a shit, some edibles and drank some cost syrup.

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Speaker 1: My heart was beating like super fast and I got scared,

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Speaker 1: so I kind of told my parents about it, So yeah,

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Speaker 1: that kind of happened. Yeah, And I also last two

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Speaker 1: years ago, I drank a bunch of Costs here and

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Speaker 1: now my memory is completely shot. I have a hard

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Speaker 1: time cognitively and I can't even remember last week or

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Speaker 1: what I did yesterday other than the adderall. It sucks, dude,

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Speaker 1: because I was I felt like I could have been

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Speaker 1: really smart, Like I could have not really like a genius,

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Speaker 1: but I could have been a bright dude, and just

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Speaker 1: me continuously self sabotaging and going back into the whole

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Speaker 1: where I'm comfortable with, like I want to stay there

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Speaker 1: and I never want to get better, Like I'm not

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Speaker 1: really doing it in school right now, but I'm not

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Speaker 1: worried about it. I can still take it up. I

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Speaker 1: also kind of failed college like three or four times.

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Speaker 1: This wasn't the best thing ever, but I'm trying to

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Speaker 1: change of major.

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Speaker 2: So, man, I got a lot of thoughts on what

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Speaker 2: you just said. The first thing is this like idea,

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Speaker 2: like you're it always. You know, you're twenty one, and

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Speaker 2: you've like, I don't know why you've like written yourself

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Speaker 2: off as like I thought I could be smart and

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Speaker 2: now I'm a dumb piece of shit forever. You know,

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Speaker 2: I don't know what it is in your brain that's

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Speaker 2: made you decide that, so so finitely, what is it

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Speaker 2: that you and I know you're talking about, like not

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Speaker 2: being good in school? But I've I've I mean, I

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Speaker 2: don't think that school is the ultimate measure of success

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Speaker 2: and smartness that a human beings. So I'll ask you this,

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Speaker 2: what is it that you want to do with your life.

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Speaker 1: I have a lot of interest. There's a lot of

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Speaker 1: things I want to do. In terms of money. I'm

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Speaker 1: pursuing cybersecurity or something tech related. So that's that's my

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Speaker 1: money issue. Uh, that's what I'm gonna do for money.

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Speaker 1: But you know, last year I kind of discovered I

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Speaker 1: had a creative impulse and I want to write a book.

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Speaker 1: I'm writing a book right now. It's based on a

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Speaker 1: couple of conspiracy theories and I draw sometimes. So I

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Speaker 1: guess I just I want to make money so I

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Speaker 1: can be financially stable, and I want to make money

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Speaker 1: so I can like fund my creative passions and maybe

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Speaker 1: one day I can make money for my creative passions.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean those are both great.

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Speaker 3: Man.

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Speaker 2: I guess if if we can for a second, I'll

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Speaker 2: want to understand why you have written yourself off as

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Speaker 2: permanently dumb.

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Speaker 1: I think because well, I've been called like stupid and

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Speaker 1: retarded a lot by you know, the friends that I

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Speaker 1: kind of grew out of and it's really tough when

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Speaker 1: now I guess this is like an old lesson that

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Speaker 1: I kind of learned. But it's it's really tough to

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Speaker 1: think you're not something and people will constantly tell you

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Speaker 1: that you're a certain thing, and you know, it's like

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Speaker 1: who gives a ship about what people say? Fuck them?

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Speaker 1: But it's tough when everything you do around a certain

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Speaker 1: group of friends is like not acceptable and you just

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Speaker 1: feel really stupid. And also the second thing is I

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Speaker 1: kind of just noticed that my memory isn't.

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Speaker 3: What it used to be.

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Speaker 1: I mean, oh, yeah, yeah, that's another thing. So I

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Speaker 1: guess I it's not really smart of me, and I'm

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Speaker 1: not really having a gross mind sort of being proactive

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Speaker 1: when I'm kind of writing myself off like that. I'm

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Speaker 1: actually really glad you said that, because now I can

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Speaker 1: I can do I can do whatever I want. It's

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Speaker 1: just it's tough, you know, tough kind of get into

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Speaker 1: that spot where you can realize like, oh, it doesn't

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Speaker 1: matter what I did in the past, I can I

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Speaker 1: can get out there.

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Speaker 2: And do you have anyone do you have anyone in

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Speaker 2: your life who is supportive of you as a person?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I Actually I was alone for a really long time,

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Speaker 1: but I recently reconnected with some friends and I got

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Speaker 1: some people, you know, like small group of dudes and

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Speaker 1: my family obviously. Yeah, there's they're supportive, they're they're cool people.

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Speaker 1: You know, shout out? Can I shout out some people

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Speaker 1: real quick? That?

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Speaker 3: Ye?

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Speaker 2: Shout You can shout out your friends?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, shout out as.

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Speaker 2: They're full first in last names for socials too, and

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Speaker 2: the social Evan nick.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we got Evan, Nikki, Glennie, Bobby and gagey. Uh.

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Speaker 2: Do you have a friend named Glenny and a friend

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Speaker 2: named Bobby? Or is this one friend named Glenny Bobby?

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Speaker 1: Oh, it's one friend named Glenny Bobby. He's pretty cool.

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Speaker 2: What is that his last name or his first name?

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Speaker 1: No, that's that's just what we call him. I mean

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Speaker 1: that's what I call him, to call him Glenny Bobby.

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Speaker 2: Well ship man, I mean, it's how do you know

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Speaker 2: these fellas?

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Speaker 1: Uh, we all went to the same middle school.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so wait, so this is a different group than

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Speaker 2: the group who was who were being Uh yeah yeah

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Speaker 2: so this is a.

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Speaker 1: Different yeah yeah, different group, but we all kind of

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Speaker 1: knew each other back then. Yeah, yeah, a different group definitely.

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Speaker 2: Well, I mean ship man, I'll say this, Uh, that

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Speaker 2: whole thing of like people tell you that you're something,

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Speaker 2: it's hard to not believe that you're that thing. But like, dude,

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Speaker 2: at the end of the day, like I don't know,

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Speaker 2: I think you gotta end up. You gotta figure out

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Speaker 2: a way to surmise your own opinions of yourself from

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Speaker 2: within and not relying on other people. That goes for

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Speaker 2: positive things too, by the way. Uh, it's something that's

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Speaker 2: something that people get tripped up about, right because if

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Speaker 2: you start, you know, everyone thinks, everyone around you keeps

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Speaker 2: calling you smart and awesome and amazing, and then you

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Speaker 2: just get your your your rocks off by how by

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Speaker 2: you get your ego boosted by it by what other

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Speaker 2: people think of you instead of what what the what

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Speaker 2: the ideal?

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Speaker 3: I mean?

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Speaker 2: I don't know, I fucking don't. I hate talking on

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Speaker 2: here about like what the ideal healthy thing to do

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Speaker 2: is because I don't know, because I'm trying to figure

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Speaker 2: this shit out myself. But like it seems to me

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Speaker 2: that the ideal healthy thing to do is to, like,

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Speaker 2: whether you know, get your idea of who you are

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Speaker 2: from from within and not rely on the opinions of

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Speaker 2: other people, both you know, believing them when they tell

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Speaker 2: you negative things and believing them when they tell you

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Speaker 2: positive things, and just fucking uh, you know, believing what

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Speaker 2: you decide to believe about yourself. Well, that's cool, man.

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Speaker 2: You're gonna become a hacker. You're gonna hack shit.

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Speaker 1: And you know what's funny is cybersecurity is such a

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Speaker 1: broad term. There's a lot of like different shit that

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Speaker 1: goes into it. And I kind of don't know what

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Speaker 1: I want to do. I just I kind of took

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Speaker 1: a step forward and said, right, I'm going for so

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Hopefully I can take something relatively like okay,

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Speaker 1: and I feel like I'm good with technology, so I

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Speaker 1: can help.

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Speaker 2: Let me ask you, So I want to make money.

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Speaker 2: When I was in fifth grade, uh, my friends hacked

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Speaker 2: into my Webkins account, And by hacked, I meant I

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Speaker 2: told them my password and they logged in and they

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Speaker 2: stole These motherfuckers stole all of my furniture from my

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Speaker 2: Webkins room and it's in their account now and I'm

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Speaker 2: still pissed off about it. Can we do you have

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Speaker 2: the skills to locate the sixteen year old Webkins account

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Speaker 2: and get back in and take my stuff back. Can

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Speaker 2: we do that, you know, just.

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Speaker 1: A therapy get go for all the times you use

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Speaker 1: helps me fall asleep. I sure will. What's the what's

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Speaker 1: the Webkins name account? Oh?

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Speaker 2: I don't even know. I don't even I actually don't

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Speaker 2: even remember.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I still I'll still try to do it.

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Speaker 2: I think my password was like Mario sixty four or

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Speaker 2: something like that.

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Speaker 1: That's a good password.

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Speaker 2: Well, shit, man, I don't. I just I hope if

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Speaker 2: you get genuinely, you seem like a really smart, really

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Speaker 2: good guy, and so I hope, uh, genuinely that if

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Speaker 2: you get anything out of this phone call, it's just

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Speaker 2: whatever you fucking do. Dude, don't write yourself off. It's like,

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Speaker 2: it's the it's the saddest thing to me when other people,

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Speaker 2: when people like write them selves off permanently, especially so young,

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Speaker 2: because I really and it's hard. I've been in the

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Speaker 2: thick of it. I write myself off constantly. And it's like,

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Speaker 2: maybe you do need an outside perspective to tell you

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Speaker 2: that you're cashing into early by believing that you're gonna

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Speaker 2: be dumb forever because you have some paint. I mean, biologically,

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Speaker 2: you have lost some brain cells. That's true. You're gonna

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Speaker 2: have to hold the element. But that's fine, that's fine,

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Speaker 2: that's fine. You know, you don't need that many brain

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Speaker 2: cells to function in society. And having shitty I mean,

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Speaker 2: I have shitty memory. I've been like smoking a fucking

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Speaker 2: pot every day for years. And that's why when people

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Speaker 2: that's why people tell me their name and I forget

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Speaker 2: it instantly. But whatever, you know, I can still function

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Speaker 2: in society and be a human being and provide value

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Speaker 2: to myself and others, and so can you. God damn it.

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Speaker 1: Sorry, I'm just I'm so glad the person outside of

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Speaker 1: myself to tell you that. With the therapy, get go.

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Speaker 2: So, Johnny, is there anything else that you wanted to

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Speaker 2: talk about or or fucking any any any anything before

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Speaker 2: we go.

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Speaker 1: My name is Johnny Karate. I like sucking Cox, linging rock,

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Speaker 1: sucking dick and eaton klitz.

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Speaker 2: Nice later on, Johnny Karate, thank you.

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Speaker 1: I love your therapy. I go take care.

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Speaker 2: That guy's got some cool hobbies. Hey, folks, this is Lyle.

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Speaker 2: I am very excited to announce that I am going

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Speaker 2: back on tour in twenty twenty four to do Therapy

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Speaker 2: Gecko live all across the country. If you've never been

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Speaker 2: to one of my live shows before, they are extremely fun, unpredictable,

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Speaker 2: wild evenings that involve a mix of group Gecko therapyessions

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Speaker 2: as well as some material and presentations from myself. And

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Speaker 2: if you've been to the show before, I have new

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Speaker 2: presentations and will of course be interviewing new people. If

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Speaker 2: you're a fan of the podcast, you're gonna have a

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Speaker 2: great time at the live show, So I hope to

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Speaker 2: see you guys there. Go to Therapy geckotour dot com

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Speaker 2: or check the link in the episode description for a

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Speaker 2: full list of cities where tickets are available. Also, if

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Speaker 2: you don't see your city on the list of cities,

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00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:32,000
Speaker 2: please still click the link and RSVP with your phone

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00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:34,679
Speaker 2: number so I can contact you when tickets go on

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00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:37,679
Speaker 2: sale for your city, because I'm going to announce a

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Speaker 2: bunch more dates very soon. Gek Bluss Yo, Hey, Hey, Hey,

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Speaker 2: what's your name? Yeah? This is this is this is

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Speaker 2: the Gek you know what? I actually meant to call

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Speaker 2: someone else, but uh, let's talk. Let's talk. What's up man?

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Speaker 2: What's your name?

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Speaker 3: Mick Love? Yes?

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Speaker 1: What can I do?

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Speaker 2: What can I do you for.

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Speaker 3: I am in a creative slump at the.

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Speaker 2: Moment, Okay, I.

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Speaker 3: I kind of do YouTube a little bit mm hmm,

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Speaker 3: and later on down the line, I just I just

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Speaker 3: kind of quit. I don't know how to Sorry, I'm

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Speaker 3: kind of nervous. I didn't think I was going to

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Speaker 3: get a car.

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Speaker 2: What kind of YouTube videos you make?

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Speaker 3: H different? You know, junk junk videos? I talk about ship.

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Speaker 3: I have a video that I made a big rant

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Speaker 3: about a light bulb that uses Wi Fi.

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Speaker 2: A light bulb that uses Wi Fi? What kind of

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Speaker 2: light bulb is this?

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Speaker 4: Uh?

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Speaker 3: I don't know. It's called micro or some ship micro?

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Speaker 2: Okay, So what what do you mean by junk videos?

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Speaker 3: Like I just talked about the ship and all that,

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Speaker 3: and I'm I started doing reviews of games.

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Speaker 2: Mm hmmm.

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Speaker 3: Like we're just talking about different stuff, kind of like

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Speaker 3: a moist.

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Speaker 2: Critical as you texted me actually and you said you

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Speaker 2: said what you said? You said, I used to do

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Speaker 2: crazy experiments.

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Speaker 3: What is antal thing I'll go through so.

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Speaker 2: Back?

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Speaker 3: I'm hoping this is because it use it was kind

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Speaker 3: of sexual.

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Speaker 1: Is that?

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Speaker 3: Okay?

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Speaker 2: What what kind of experiments were these?

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Speaker 1: Well?

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Speaker 3: I wanted to see what things will feel good to

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Speaker 3: my penis. Okay, So I actually made my name up

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Speaker 3: on valery. You probably look it up somewhere. And I

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Speaker 3: stick my I wanted to see how it felt to

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Speaker 3: stick my penis and uh, Wendy Frosty's.

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Speaker 2: And how did it feel.

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Speaker 3: It was like a fucking uh, let's see frostbite. It

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Speaker 3: did not feel great. I had to use fucking heat,

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Speaker 3: the heat just to fucking get it out directly from

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Speaker 3: the fuck event.

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Speaker 1: What do you like?

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Speaker 2: It got stuck in there?

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Speaker 3: It kind of did. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: What flavor frosty was it?

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Speaker 3: Uh? I think it was strawberry.

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Speaker 2: How long did you leave your penis submerged in the frosty?

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Speaker 3: Forty five minutes?

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Speaker 2: You put your penis in a frosty for forty five minutes.

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Speaker 3: Yes, and that's where the thing came from. I come

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Speaker 3: and Wendy's Frosty's and that was my steam name for

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Speaker 3: a long time.

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Speaker 2: So this is a real video that I like. If

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Speaker 2: I looked for it on YouTube.

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Speaker 3: No, oh no, just's say the video. This is what

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Speaker 3: I used to do with the kids. Then there was

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Speaker 3: no videos of it.

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Speaker 2: Wait, uh oh, okay, so you so when just when

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Speaker 2: you were a kid, you you did weird experiments like this.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, why did you think?

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Speaker 2: Why'd you do it for forty five minutes?

380
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Speaker 3: I don't know. I forgot about a condo.

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Speaker 2: What other experience?

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Speaker 3: Well, I uh, let's see, I wanted to try putting

383
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Speaker 3: in gravy. That wasn't the great. Uh, there was one

384
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:09,040
Speaker 3: time that this is when it kind of stopped. But

385
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Speaker 3: I used to work at Butterball, the Turkey.

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Speaker 2: Place and.

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Speaker 3: Butterball butall turkey plant And I'll ask one of my coworkers, Hey,

388
00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:26,679
Speaker 3: you steal a turkey stuck, can do a expeeriment to

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Speaker 3: it real quick?

390
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Speaker 2: You're talking with me right now?

391
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Speaker 3: No, I'm not, okay, I'm being dead ass.

392
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Speaker 2: You told your coworker to make a turkey bawl for

393
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Speaker 2: you to stick your penis in.

394
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Speaker 3: No, no, no, I said, We're going to steal a

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Speaker 3: whole turkey, the whole last turkey, and take it somewhere.

396
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Speaker 3: I'll just go to see how it feels and to

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Speaker 3: just throw it away, is it?

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Speaker 2: I get that's like a that's like beast reality and

399
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Speaker 2: necrophilia kind of.

400
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Speaker 3: Well, the turkey was dead and it's like skinned and everything.

401
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:12,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I'm mean, but.

402
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:14,320
Speaker 3: That was old me. I don't do that ship anymore.

403
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:20,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was it a raw turkey.

404
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:22,200
Speaker 3: Yeah.

405
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Speaker 2: What what happened to your penis after you did that?

406
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:30,760
Speaker 3: Uh? I'd have built too good.

407
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:36,240
Speaker 2: See this is weird. What's the like, what's the ethics

408
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:41,680
Speaker 2: on turkey necrophilia? Because like a lot of people eat

409
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:46,840
Speaker 2: turkeys and that's bad. I guess, But well, I guess

410
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:50,760
Speaker 2: that's that that's okay. But if you and it's obviously

411
00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:53,360
Speaker 2: it's not okay to have sex with a live turkey,

412
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Speaker 2: but if it's okay to kill turkey? Whiz? Is it?

413
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:00,240
Speaker 3: Oh?

414
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:03,320
Speaker 2: It's probably. I mean i'm leaning towards No, I'm leaning

415
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:06,800
Speaker 2: towards it's not. But I guess why is it bad?

416
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Speaker 2: Why can you not fuck a dead turkey but you

417
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Speaker 2: can eat it?

418
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Speaker 3: That's a good question.

419
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Speaker 2: I don't know if it is a good question.

420
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:20,320
Speaker 3: You know, yeah, it's not a good question. You're right,

421
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:20,880
Speaker 3: You're right.

422
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:24,320
Speaker 2: So is that is that? Is that all of your

423
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Speaker 2: experiments that I.

424
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Speaker 3: Can think of? Okay, but about the turkey, I didn't

425
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Speaker 3: actually get to do it.

426
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Speaker 2: Oh you didn't actually stick your penis in the turkey?

427
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:39,080
Speaker 3: No?

428
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Speaker 2: Okay, I mean that's why did you get fired because

429
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Speaker 2: be and.

430
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Speaker 3: My buddy we're walking out with it and we both

431
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Speaker 3: got fired.

432
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Speaker 2: The person who fired you didn't find out what you

433
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Speaker 2: were actually planning to do with the turkey, did they?

434
00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:00,560
Speaker 3: Oh? No, I said I was, and give it to

435
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Speaker 3: my uh, to my cousin with cancer.

436
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:07,000
Speaker 2: Wow, that's I guess that's the opposite of fucking a

437
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:12,000
Speaker 2: turkey is giving it to a guy with cancer. Yeah,

438
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,439
Speaker 2: I guess the opposite. What I guess the opposite of

439
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:20,879
Speaker 2: fucking a turkey would be. I guess it would be

440
00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:23,200
Speaker 2: not fucking a turkey. But that's not really an opposite.

441
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:28,600
Speaker 2: That's more just like a absence. Yeah, so you're in

442
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:31,719
Speaker 2: a creative rut? Why are you in a creative rut?

443
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:35,720
Speaker 3: That was a word creative rut? It because I don't

444
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:42,000
Speaker 3: feel like my prom isn't really good. Like I guess,

445
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,760
Speaker 3: you just had to keep posting until something happens.

446
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:45,520
Speaker 1: As well.

447
00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:47,240
Speaker 3: Some people told me, what.

448
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:49,359
Speaker 2: Do you Why do you think your content's not good?

449
00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:53,040
Speaker 3: Oh? I don't know.

450
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:57,240
Speaker 2: Well, you can't. You have this feel a whole on

451
00:25:57,359 --> 00:26:02,080
Speaker 2: But you have this feeling right now that is creating

452
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:05,480
Speaker 2: a creative rut to you for you, and you can't

453
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:07,760
Speaker 2: even express why you have that feeling.

454
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:15,600
Speaker 3: Well, I I think it's because I've done it x

455
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:19,560
Speaker 3: amount of like gears, and then nothing really has grown

456
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:24,119
Speaker 3: like I've I had. I made like three channels. I

457
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:26,879
Speaker 3: kind of put down two of them and start a

458
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:27,320
Speaker 3: new one.

459
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:30,560
Speaker 2: Okay, what kind of video you want?

460
00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:37,560
Speaker 3: Well, I haven't posted any lately, mostly game videos that

461
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:40,359
Speaker 3: I made. My I made like a whole video of

462
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:45,080
Speaker 3: me streaming uh elder ring. Then I, like I said,

463
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:50,480
Speaker 3: I talk about dumb ship, uh make reviews for games.

464
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:55,600
Speaker 3: I'm actually working on a review with a buddy, but

465
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:57,879
Speaker 3: it's taken a long time because my computer blew up.

466
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:03,200
Speaker 2: So let me ask you this. Are you having fun?

467
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:07,399
Speaker 2: Are you enjoying making these videos?

468
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,600
Speaker 3: I did? Yeah, before my blew up?

469
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:13,000
Speaker 2: You did before your computer blew up? What do you mean?

470
00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:19,040
Speaker 3: So? I was making a video and my my scream

471
00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:24,560
Speaker 3: scar discovering and I heard all he was hurt, and

472
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:29,199
Speaker 3: my computer just fucking blew up the power supply. All right,

473
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 3: it was the old computers.

474
00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:32,960
Speaker 2: Like, what do you make? What are you making videos with? Now?

475
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:35,680
Speaker 3: I bought one?

476
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,680
Speaker 2: Okay, are you having on making the videos that you're

477
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:41,000
Speaker 2: making on the computer? You're making them with now.

478
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:45,159
Speaker 3: Well, I haven't stolen yet because I had to do

479
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:48,760
Speaker 3: that whole process again of like making sure my sound

480
00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:52,240
Speaker 3: is good. I've been trying to work extra hard. I

481
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:54,800
Speaker 3: do door d ash and and I work at a

482
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:55,400
Speaker 3: different job.

483
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:59,159
Speaker 2: Okay, because look, I know it's like, I know it

484
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:01,760
Speaker 2: sounds trying to know what everyone says, but it is true.

485
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:04,760
Speaker 2: It's like, as long as you're having fun with the

486
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:09,440
Speaker 2: actual process of making the videos, the outcome is irrelevant

487
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:13,000
Speaker 2: because all the outcome does is enable you to live

488
00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:16,000
Speaker 2: in more of the process kind.

489
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:21,280
Speaker 3: Of the the outcome is a motivator, is.

490
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:26,200
Speaker 2: A motivator, Yeah, it's a motivator. Yeah, it is a motivator,

491
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:28,280
Speaker 2: And it's a legitimate motivator because you can get addicted

492
00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:31,320
Speaker 2: to watching videos like blow up and stuff. But at

493
00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:34,080
Speaker 2: the end of the day, the real motivation should should

494
00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:36,600
Speaker 2: be just from a simple enjoyment of actually making the

495
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:42,680
Speaker 2: videos themselves. Okay, And if you're doing that, you're winning,

496
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:42,920
Speaker 2: you know.

497
00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:51,360
Speaker 3: M And there's another thing. I'm trying to get My

498
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:55,880
Speaker 3: brother's thirteen. We we'll call him Johnny. Yeah, I'm trying

499
00:28:55,880 --> 00:28:59,440
Speaker 3: to get him, you know. Now, have to work the

500
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:04,400
Speaker 3: nine of even all that bullshit you know, I want

501
00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:06,280
Speaker 3: to make a game with him, but I don't know

502
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:07,000
Speaker 3: where to start.

503
00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:11,240
Speaker 2: Do you want to make a game with your thirteen

504
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:11,840
Speaker 2: year old brother?

505
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:18,880
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, I've already made like I've already made like

506
00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:21,720
Speaker 3: a project name. It was a It was a project

507
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:25,800
Speaker 3: that I had an idea for for a fucking long time.

508
00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:32,600
Speaker 3: It was over like dreams I've had of it, and

509
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:35,040
Speaker 3: it was a The project name was a called tron

510
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:46,520
Speaker 3: Try gone X. Okay, yeah, and it's kind of a

511
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:50,360
Speaker 3: little bit like thar On Phantasies in a way, but

512
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:52,680
Speaker 3: but still it's going to have his own elements.

513
00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:54,840
Speaker 2: So you're asking me how to make a video game?

514
00:29:56,160 --> 00:30:03,800
Speaker 3: No, I guess, Yeah.

515
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:03,200
Speaker 2: Dude, I don't know how to make a video game.

516
00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:13,320
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, Well how would you think we start.

517
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:19,000
Speaker 2: In a way, I dude, My answer is you google

518
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:21,320
Speaker 2: how to make a video game. I mean, I don't know, man,

519
00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:23,720
Speaker 2: there's other day like I I'm sorry, I don't have

520
00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:25,960
Speaker 2: any better advice for you other than to look it up,

521
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:31,480
Speaker 2: you know, ask chat GPT. By the way that goes

522
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:33,920
Speaker 2: for it, By the way that that honestly almost certain

523
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:38,920
Speaker 2: that kind of goes for anyone who would ever call

524
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:41,440
Speaker 2: into this podcast to ask me anything. I was just

525
00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:45,080
Speaker 2: ask chat GPT. You'll actually give you a way better

526
00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:50,040
Speaker 2: answer than anything that I will say. Really, yeah, I

527
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:56,800
Speaker 2: use chat. I ask chat GPT about all everything. It's great.

528
00:30:56,960 --> 00:31:00,120
Speaker 2: I'm so I'm excited for AI to take over or

529
00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:03,520
Speaker 2: humanity because it's it's kind of better than humanity in

530
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:05,040
Speaker 2: some degrees.

531
00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:08,560
Speaker 3: It's more objective in a way, but a little scary

532
00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:10,040
Speaker 3: in my opinion.

533
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:17,720
Speaker 2: But yeah, man, maybe I'll make a geck GPT that uh,

534
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:20,360
Speaker 2: I don't know what the fuck it would do. But

535
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:22,080
Speaker 2: but anyway, Yeah, man, why don't you just go on

536
00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:25,160
Speaker 2: make going like RPG maker or like just google how

537
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:28,840
Speaker 2: to make a video game? Yeah, I'll just But no

538
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:31,280
Speaker 2: matter what, I'm just glad that you you've evolved beyond

539
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:33,440
Speaker 2: sticking your dick and frosties and you're trying to do

540
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:36,280
Speaker 2: more productive things. That's That's what I've gleaned from this conversation.

541
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:38,880
Speaker 2: Uh mcloven, is anything else you want to say to

542
00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:40,280
Speaker 2: the people of the computer before we go?

543
00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:44,800
Speaker 3: Stay safe out there and keep your dreams alive.

544
00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:48,480
Speaker 2: All right, man, I look forward to catching your game

545
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:52,360
Speaker 2: on Steamy love me, go take care man.

546
00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:53,720
Speaker 3: You too.

547
00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:00,800
Speaker 2: Hi, Hey, Hey, what's up man?

548
00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:02,280
Speaker 4: Not much?

549
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:05,720
Speaker 2: What's your name? I'm gonna call you Alex.

550
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:08,320
Speaker 4: Hi, you can call me Joe.

551
00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:12,880
Speaker 2: Okay. I wanted to call you Alex because I'm gonna

552
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:15,000
Speaker 2: forget if I I've I've learned now because I just

553
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 2: fuck I forget everyone's name because I have some weird

554
00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:26,520
Speaker 2: form of brain damage, I think, and I've noticed that

555
00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:29,760
Speaker 2: I'll remember people's names better if I give them a name.

556
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:32,320
Speaker 4: Okay, Alex is good?

557
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 2: Do you prefer? If you prefer Joe, I'll call you Joe.

558
00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:37,720
Speaker 4: Honestly, it's it's your show.

559
00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:38,480
Speaker 3: You do whatever you want.

560
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:39,000
Speaker 4: It's all good.

561
00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:42,320
Speaker 2: What I want is for you know what. I'm gonna

562
00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:44,120
Speaker 2: call you Alex? Alex? What's up man? How can I

563
00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 2: get you today? Uh?

564
00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:46,960
Speaker 4: It's going pretty good.

565
00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:48,800
Speaker 3: Yeah.

566
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:54,000
Speaker 4: I mean I just these sort of intrusive thoughts for

567
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:56,880
Speaker 4: a while, and I just sort of wanted to talk

568
00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:57,360
Speaker 4: about it.

569
00:32:57,880 --> 00:32:59,480
Speaker 2: Okay, what kind of into thoughts.

570
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:09,680
Speaker 4: It's sort of intrusive thoughts about harming people.

571
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:15,240
Speaker 2: Mm hmm. How long have it? It's not go ahead.

572
00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:21,040
Speaker 4: It's been happening like a long time. I'm not sure

573
00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:25,480
Speaker 4: exactly when it started, but it's just sort of whenever

574
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:28,280
Speaker 4: I have like a negative like a memory with the

575
00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:30,800
Speaker 4: negative association to it. I just get these sort of

576
00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:34,600
Speaker 4: intrusive thoughts where I want to like hurt someone or

577
00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:40,240
Speaker 4: like I just get it's not comfortable for me, you know,

578
00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:44,000
Speaker 4: It's like it makes me feel like I'm like I

579
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:46,200
Speaker 4: could potentially be dangerous to people around me, and it's

580
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:49,479
Speaker 4: just I don't know why it happens.

581
00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:51,840
Speaker 2: Are they are you trying to? Are you are these

582
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:54,720
Speaker 2: interestive thoughts about hurting specific people or just people?

583
00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:58,200
Speaker 4: No, it's it's never anybody specific.

584
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:01,440
Speaker 2: Have you ever spoke look into a real therapist about this?

585
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:03,400
Speaker 1: No?

586
00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:06,480
Speaker 2: What's preventing you from doing that?

587
00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:14,800
Speaker 4: I guess I don't really respect Western therapy.

588
00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:21,759
Speaker 2: Sure, yeah, I empathize with that. Yeah, I know I

589
00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:27,160
Speaker 2: I I empathize with that plight of not respecting uh,

590
00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:33,080
Speaker 2: Western therapy. But I do think if if you really

591
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:34,840
Speaker 2: are struggling with this thing where you feel like you

592
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:38,439
Speaker 2: might be a potential danger to other people, and it's

593
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:43,560
Speaker 2: like totally fucking you up. Uh, you know it's it's

594
00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:48,400
Speaker 2: it's within your agency to attempt to do something about it, right,

595
00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:52,919
Speaker 2: and and and talking to somebody who maybe you know, look,

596
00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:54,840
Speaker 2: I'm just a dumbass and a gecko costume. And I

597
00:34:54,840 --> 00:35:00,520
Speaker 2: think talking to somebody who actually understands how these thoughts

598
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:04,600
Speaker 2: work would be helpful to you. And I've actually been

599
00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:06,719
Speaker 2: thinking about this because I know that you know a

600
00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:09,040
Speaker 2: lot of people that just can't afford therapy. I don't

601
00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:10,439
Speaker 2: know if you haven't even shure that's.

602
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:11,160
Speaker 1: Definitely part of it too.

603
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:13,280
Speaker 4: I'm not I don't have money.

604
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:14,160
Speaker 2: Do you insurance?

605
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:21,560
Speaker 4: I'm not insurance don't covered therapy though, Okay, I mean

606
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:24,640
Speaker 4: I liked the idea of just sort of talking to

607
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:27,120
Speaker 4: somebody as more of a clean slate understanding of things

608
00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:29,160
Speaker 4: just from you know, their own life experience. I don't

609
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:32,200
Speaker 4: think there's necessarily that much value and like the education

610
00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:34,719
Speaker 4: that a therapist would have, and I and like you

611
00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:36,640
Speaker 4: got like a fifty to fifty shot of getting a

612
00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:37,160
Speaker 4: good one.

613
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:40,839
Speaker 2: Sure, I respect those thoughts, but it's still worth it

614
00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:44,680
Speaker 2: to try. I'm kind of a hypocrite because I've also

615
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:48,839
Speaker 2: been like kind of avoidant with actual therapy myself. But

616
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:53,239
Speaker 2: what the fuck was I going to say? The money thing?

617
00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:55,600
Speaker 2: I mean, I actually I'm going to get back to

618
00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:57,319
Speaker 2: one of this because I've actually been thinking about this

619
00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:01,799
Speaker 2: a lot because there's so many people who like you know,

620
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:05,160
Speaker 2: struggle with like they just can't fucking afford it. And

621
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:07,319
Speaker 2: I think that there are resources out there to get it,

622
00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:12,240
Speaker 2: to get real therapy, like through like a community center

623
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:14,160
Speaker 2: or a college or something like that.

624
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:18,319
Speaker 4: But yeah, they definitely are. I just honestly, I just

625
00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:19,480
Speaker 4: haven't looked into its.

626
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:26,680
Speaker 2: Okay, Like low, I feel like, so I my whole

627
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:30,319
Speaker 2: thing is I'm perpetually like playing house here. You know,

628
00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:33,040
Speaker 2: I'm not a real theory. I'm just like fucking chilling,

629
00:36:33,239 --> 00:36:36,120
Speaker 2: trying to make a podcast, trying to have fun, trying

630
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:38,600
Speaker 2: to you know, that's.

631
00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:40,760
Speaker 4: Really more more what I'm looking for than an actual

632
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:42,080
Speaker 4: like sit down healing.

633
00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:44,319
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, no, these are not too These are

634
00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:46,960
Speaker 2: not two things. This is not an either or this

635
00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:49,960
Speaker 2: is this. We can do them both, you know what

636
00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:51,960
Speaker 2: I mean. Like, I'm happy to talk to you about

637
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:54,320
Speaker 2: this stuff, but you should talk to a real person

638
00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:54,920
Speaker 2: as well.

639
00:36:57,640 --> 00:37:01,799
Speaker 4: Yeah, honestly, I think it's just for me. It's it's

640
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:04,520
Speaker 4: been something that's tough to talk about. It's like not

641
00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:10,319
Speaker 4: something that's that's really really accepted, and it's just I mean, like,

642
00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:13,279
Speaker 4: this is the first time I've ever like verbalized.

643
00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:15,200
Speaker 2: This at all ever to anyone.

644
00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:20,400
Speaker 1: So it's just, yes, how old are you?

645
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:25,719
Speaker 2: Okay, how long have you been having these thoughts?

646
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:30,840
Speaker 4: Definitely at least the last few years, and I honestly

647
00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:31,760
Speaker 4: don't know when it started.

648
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:36,960
Speaker 2: Okay, you've never acted on any of these thoughts, have you?

649
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:37,080
Speaker 1: No.

650
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:39,160
Speaker 4: I have trained a lot of martial arts, and I've

651
00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:41,279
Speaker 4: like there have been times where I've accidentally hurt someone,

652
00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:45,120
Speaker 4: Like one time I in wrestling, I've like seriously hurt

653
00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:49,560
Speaker 4: somebody's knee, and that like like that's something that I

654
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:52,879
Speaker 4: almost had like PTSD from for a while, just like

655
00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:55,160
Speaker 4: like the sound of somebody's knee getting ripped apart.

656
00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:57,720
Speaker 2: Well as should was it was that in high school

657
00:37:58,040 --> 00:37:58,640
Speaker 2: or college?

658
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:03,279
Speaker 4: It was it was actually afterwards I was, uh twenty one.

659
00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:05,680
Speaker 4: It is training at a jiu jitsu gym, in a

660
00:38:05,719 --> 00:38:09,200
Speaker 4: wrestling classic gym.

661
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:11,680
Speaker 2: But that did that have anything to do with these

662
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:12,680
Speaker 2: these thoughts that you have.

663
00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:18,560
Speaker 4: No, It's almost like it feels like like the opposite,

664
00:38:18,560 --> 00:38:21,680
Speaker 4: you know, like when I have like a memory of that,

665
00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:26,439
Speaker 4: it's like it's painful for me, and then I get

666
00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:29,000
Speaker 4: that same sort of feeling when I have one.

667
00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:29,440
Speaker 3: Of these.

668
00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:41,239
Speaker 2: Okay, mm hmm, How often. How often do you have

669
00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:42,360
Speaker 2: these thoughts.

670
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:46,360
Speaker 4: At least daily?

671
00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:56,160
Speaker 2: Okay, mm hmm. Do you do you notice like specific

672
00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:58,440
Speaker 2: like stimulus that bring these thoughts on?

673
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:04,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, like usually if I remember uh like it could

674
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:07,000
Speaker 4: be anything, but like some sort of memory with the

675
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:11,200
Speaker 4: negative association or it will usually trigger m hm. That

676
00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:12,880
Speaker 4: kind of interesting thought for me.

677
00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:22,680
Speaker 2: Hold on, someone strove by uh my apartment blasting music

678
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:26,959
Speaker 2: really loudly, and you know it's triggering some of minds

679
00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:27,919
Speaker 2: truest of thoughts as well.

680
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:32,760
Speaker 1: Mhmm.

681
00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:37,920
Speaker 2: I I well, okay, let me, I guess, let me

682
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:41,279
Speaker 2: do this because I really do think you got to

683
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:44,520
Speaker 2: go talk to a real therapist. This is like totally

684
00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:46,760
Speaker 2: something you got to go talk to a real therapist about.

685
00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:48,279
Speaker 2: But like, I like.

686
00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:48,480
Speaker 3: But.

687
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:52,799
Speaker 2: Let me tell you this, okay, hold on, hold on,

688
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:56,480
Speaker 2: But but like just like as a dude, it just

689
00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:59,439
Speaker 2: has two dudes on the phone, Like, is there any

690
00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:02,440
Speaker 2: way that is like, how can I help you with this?

691
00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:06,040
Speaker 2: Just as two dudes on the phone.

692
00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:10,640
Speaker 4: I don't know if there's really any anything in particular

693
00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:12,600
Speaker 4: that I was looking for in terms of help. I

694
00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:15,480
Speaker 4: just like I thought that this was a good way

695
00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:19,319
Speaker 4: to get that out. Like this it's like an anonymous thing,

696
00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:21,440
Speaker 4: I don't actually have to talk to somebody face to face.

697
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:26,719
Speaker 2: Okay, how do you how do you feel about that?

698
00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:29,200
Speaker 2: The fact that you like talking about it on an

699
00:40:29,239 --> 00:40:29,920
Speaker 2: anonymous thing.

700
00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:40,680
Speaker 4: It it feels good too, not just have that inside.

701
00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:46,480
Speaker 4: Like it's not like saying something magically, you know, fixes everything.

702
00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:53,160
Speaker 2: But right, But I I guess I hope like talking

703
00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:55,759
Speaker 2: to me, you're kind of understanding that, like you, if

704
00:40:55,800 --> 00:41:00,279
Speaker 2: you just let this stuff boil, it's just gonna like

705
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:02,880
Speaker 2: I don't, I do not know, but I don't. I

706
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:04,640
Speaker 2: don't know you, but I don't think that you're like

707
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:09,879
Speaker 2: just from talking to you and from like understanding at

708
00:41:09,880 --> 00:41:14,120
Speaker 2: the most surface fucking level that I could understand, Like

709
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:18,440
Speaker 2: you don't seem as though you're a dangerous person or

710
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:22,600
Speaker 2: a threat to other people, you know, but you just

711
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:27,600
Speaker 2: have these thoughts that are troublesome, and these thoughts are

712
00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:33,440
Speaker 2: are making your life more difficult to live. And I

713
00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:37,319
Speaker 2: hope you understand that. Uh, And I don't know, man,

714
00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:40,239
Speaker 2: we all have thoughts in our brain that make our

715
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:42,600
Speaker 2: lives more difficult to live. And I'm no expert in

716
00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:44,880
Speaker 2: how to deal with those thoughts or get rid of

717
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:49,480
Speaker 2: them or anything. Like that, but I I the optimistic

718
00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:52,880
Speaker 2: part of my brain says that it's possible, you know.

719
00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:55,360
Speaker 2: And so I guess if you leave this conversation with anything,

720
00:41:55,400 --> 00:42:00,239
Speaker 2: it's it's I hope an optimism that there exists uh

721
00:42:01,719 --> 00:42:04,040
Speaker 2: ways for you to deal with these thoughts so that

722
00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:08,719
Speaker 2: you don't have to keep living in fear of them.

723
00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:09,120
Speaker 3: Mhm.

724
00:42:13,480 --> 00:42:18,000
Speaker 2: Do you do you feel that way?

725
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:22,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, it sort of worries me, like, like I just

726
00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:27,080
Speaker 4: I have this sort of subconscious urge in me to

727
00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:31,239
Speaker 4: commit violence, you know, like I I when I was

728
00:42:31,239 --> 00:42:33,359
Speaker 4: a kid, I used to fight a lot, like with

729
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:37,000
Speaker 4: my brother, with other people, and I like to fight.

730
00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:39,719
Speaker 4: That's like an other things that I like doing. And

731
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:45,359
Speaker 4: you know, sometimes like in the context of fighting, it's

732
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:50,120
Speaker 4: good to be able to you know, be violent. But

733
00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:53,080
Speaker 4: I just worry sometimes that it will get away from me.

734
00:42:56,200 --> 00:43:00,680
Speaker 2: I'm telling you, man, like I think, I actually think

735
00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:03,480
Speaker 2: this is good that you like recognize this about yourself,

736
00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:06,279
Speaker 2: because now before this gets out of hand, you have

737
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:09,640
Speaker 2: the opportunity to go deal with it, you know, and

738
00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:14,839
Speaker 2: I think you should. You should. I completely empathize why

739
00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:17,520
Speaker 2: you feel skeptical about all the methods that people typically

740
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:19,360
Speaker 2: use to deal with these kind of things, but I

741
00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:25,240
Speaker 2: implore you to drop your skepticism and be open minded

742
00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:32,360
Speaker 2: because it might help. I mean, shit, you were open

743
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:34,560
Speaker 2: minded enough to call me and talk about this on

744
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:36,240
Speaker 2: a podcast in front of a bunch of people.

745
00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:39,760
Speaker 3: Yeah.

746
00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:43,400
Speaker 4: I don't know, I get Maybe it's just like, you know,

747
00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:47,000
Speaker 4: trust to people is hard, you know, like putting my

748
00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:49,680
Speaker 4: whole self in somebody's hands like that, and you're like saying, here,

749
00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:52,360
Speaker 4: can you help me with this? It's it's hard, Like

750
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:54,040
Speaker 4: with this sort of an honest thing. It's just like

751
00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:59,080
Speaker 4: we're having a conversation. It's fine, but I I I

752
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:01,880
Speaker 4: definitely need to work on, you know, being able to

753
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:02,719
Speaker 4: trust somebody with that.

754
00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:07,840
Speaker 2: Mm hm. Why is I mean? I guess real therapy

755
00:44:07,920 --> 00:44:09,640
Speaker 2: is also just kind of having a conversation.

756
00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:14,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean basically that's what it is. Talking to

757
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:14,880
Speaker 4: people helps.

758
00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:15,400
Speaker 1: M h.

759
00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:20,319
Speaker 4: I'll talk to my homes sometimes about ship like this.

760
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:28,240
Speaker 2: But I don't know what is what do your friends say.

761
00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:30,200
Speaker 4: About this particularly? I haven't ever mentioned, but just like

762
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:33,080
Speaker 4: you know, other things, like like me and my friends

763
00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:35,640
Speaker 4: will have our own problems, so we'll talk about things.

764
00:44:36,160 --> 00:44:41,520
Speaker 4: We'll get deep sometimes, but never really now, I never,

765
00:44:41,640 --> 00:44:48,919
Speaker 4: never really talked about this, But I mean, like when

766
00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:53,480
Speaker 4: I I think it's part of it might be from

767
00:44:53,520 --> 00:44:57,040
Speaker 4: when I was a kid. I like my brother believed

768
00:44:57,080 --> 00:44:59,839
Speaker 4: me a lot. I really hated him for it, and

769
00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:04,360
Speaker 4: like I would like it, Like I really really hated him.

770
00:45:05,080 --> 00:45:08,360
Speaker 4: And I remember being like eight years old and I

771
00:45:09,920 --> 00:45:12,520
Speaker 4: and like he would just be like blowing me relentlessly.

772
00:45:12,719 --> 00:45:16,520
Speaker 4: He was fucking awful, and I just wanted to like

773
00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:18,560
Speaker 4: get a knife from the kitchen, go into his room

774
00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:19,920
Speaker 4: and fucking kill him.

775
00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:20,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, and.

776
00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:26,080
Speaker 4: Like that that was just something that like every night

777
00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:27,879
Speaker 4: I would think about when I was like eight years old.

778
00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:33,399
Speaker 4: And like for me, I feel like like what kept

779
00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:36,240
Speaker 4: my eight year old self from doing it was fear

780
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:41,880
Speaker 4: of consequences more than like any sort of morality.

781
00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:42,880
Speaker 2: M hm.

782
00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:50,080
Speaker 4: So I think, I mean I've never talked about once

783
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:54,160
Speaker 4: in my life. I think that might be a big

784
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:56,800
Speaker 4: part of where that sort of violent impulse comes from.

785
00:45:57,040 --> 00:46:00,080
Speaker 2: Like you feel like you're still holding on to that

786
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:01,120
Speaker 2: that anger from when you were.

787
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:06,320
Speaker 4: Eight, Yeah, because I can't really direct that anger towards

788
00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:08,960
Speaker 4: my brother anymore. Like I understand, like we're both kids.

789
00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:13,960
Speaker 4: It's like it's not his fault. He's not the same

790
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:16,200
Speaker 4: person it was that I'm not the same person wasn't

791
00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:18,560
Speaker 4: but that like to that hatred and that anger is

792
00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:20,720
Speaker 4: still in there, it's just not directed to anybody.

793
00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:28,480
Speaker 2: So the question, the question becomes like how do you

794
00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:32,760
Speaker 2: deal how do you deal with this hatred and anger

795
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:35,440
Speaker 2: that's just in you, that's just like a part of you.

796
00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:38,480
Speaker 2: How do you deal with it in a healthy way

797
00:46:38,920 --> 00:46:39,920
Speaker 2: that doesn't involve.

798
00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:43,080
Speaker 4: I think directing towards good things, like right directing it

799
00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:46,000
Speaker 4: like through exercise and like training martial arts and stuff

800
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:49,480
Speaker 4: like that has helped me. It's great, but like it's

801
00:46:49,480 --> 00:46:51,719
Speaker 4: still there, you know, it's just like he needs to

802
00:46:51,719 --> 00:46:53,520
Speaker 4: find it out with. I don't know if it's possible

803
00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:56,400
Speaker 4: to get rid of it, Like it's just part of me.

804
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:59,680
Speaker 4: I don't know if it's something that develops or if

805
00:46:59,680 --> 00:47:03,200
Speaker 4: it's something that was always there, but I think it's

806
00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:05,239
Speaker 4: just something that you sort of have to have to

807
00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:05,680
Speaker 4: live with.

808
00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:13,120
Speaker 2: So you you have found in martial arts and and

809
00:47:13,120 --> 00:47:19,640
Speaker 2: and in exercise some form of outlet for these feelings

810
00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:20,760
Speaker 2: that feels positive.

811
00:47:21,280 --> 00:47:25,239
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, just like getting out the sort of like

812
00:47:25,480 --> 00:47:27,560
Speaker 4: you can put as much aggression as you want as

813
00:47:27,560 --> 00:47:30,920
Speaker 4: you want into a Barbelle you're not going to hurt it,

814
00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:35,959
Speaker 4: you know, like but yeah, I mean, like martial arts

815
00:47:36,040 --> 00:47:37,919
Speaker 4: was good, but there like there have been a couple

816
00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:40,640
Speaker 4: of times where like I hurt somebody on accident with

817
00:47:40,680 --> 00:47:44,000
Speaker 4: like a submission or or like during wrestling, just something

818
00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:46,719
Speaker 4: some weird scramble happens when something pops, and that like

819
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:51,719
Speaker 4: really gets to me. So it's like I have this

820
00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:54,759
Speaker 4: feeling that I want to at the same time, I

821
00:47:54,880 --> 00:47:57,520
Speaker 4: know that anytime I have hurt somebody, it's been the

822
00:47:57,520 --> 00:47:58,959
Speaker 4: most awful experience of my life.

823
00:47:59,480 --> 00:48:07,719
Speaker 2: M mm hmm. Well, I mean, let me say this,

824
00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:12,080
Speaker 2: I'm glad. I'm glad. I'm hopeful that talking about this

825
00:48:12,200 --> 00:48:14,160
Speaker 2: and being willing to talk about this on you know,

826
00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:20,400
Speaker 2: on a fucking podcast like I I hope it is

827
00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:23,400
Speaker 2: a catalyst for you to go and talk about it

828
00:48:23,440 --> 00:48:27,759
Speaker 2: with a professional, because it sounds like that would be

829
00:48:27,800 --> 00:48:28,440
Speaker 2: helpful to you.

830
00:48:32,040 --> 00:48:36,440
Speaker 4: The one thing another thing that is the whole Like

831
00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:39,000
Speaker 4: if you say to a therapist that you think about

832
00:48:39,080 --> 00:48:42,360
Speaker 4: hurting yourself or hurting somebody else, they immediately just for

833
00:48:42,600 --> 00:48:43,400
Speaker 4: you and crazy people.

834
00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:49,759
Speaker 2: Go do not quote me on this because I might

835
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:53,319
Speaker 2: be wrong, but go ahead and look it up. I'm

836
00:48:53,520 --> 00:49:01,680
Speaker 2: pretty sure, they only do that if you have a plan, right,

837
00:49:02,040 --> 00:49:04,520
Speaker 2: I do, But I know, I that's what I think

838
00:49:04,680 --> 00:49:07,680
Speaker 2: I'm but I don't know. I don't know, So don't

839
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:09,719
Speaker 2: don't quote me on that. But I I don't think

840
00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:11,400
Speaker 2: that should stop you even.

841
00:49:12,960 --> 00:49:21,040
Speaker 4: Okay, well yeah, I'll definitely at least think about it.

842
00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:22,680
Speaker 2: Okay, please, it's.

843
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:27,719
Speaker 4: Like, yeah, but I mean I appreciate you just like

844
00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:28,880
Speaker 4: listening and talking to me about it.

845
00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:35,040
Speaker 2: Man, Yeah, of course, Joe Alex. What I'm gonna just

846
00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:40,200
Speaker 2: I'll stick with Alex Alex. Hm hmm. Is there anything

847
00:49:40,880 --> 00:49:43,800
Speaker 2: else like with this that just while we're on the phone,

848
00:49:43,880 --> 00:49:47,560
Speaker 2: that you know you wanted to talk about, or that

849
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:49,520
Speaker 2: I can help you with or anything like that?

850
00:49:56,480 --> 00:49:59,880
Speaker 4: I think, I I like the thing that where like

851
00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:01,359
Speaker 4: the thoughts I had when I was a kid about

852
00:50:01,400 --> 00:50:03,040
Speaker 4: my brother that was That was the second thing. But

853
00:50:03,080 --> 00:50:04,239
Speaker 4: I don't think there's a third thing.

854
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:06,799
Speaker 2: Mm hmm. Did it feel like because this is something

855
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:08,560
Speaker 2: you've never talked about, did it feel good to talk

856
00:50:08,600 --> 00:50:15,160
Speaker 2: about this, especially in like a like a public form.

857
00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:15,640
Speaker 3: I don't know.

858
00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:18,359
Speaker 4: I don't think it being public or probably really makes

859
00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:18,880
Speaker 4: a difference.

860
00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:20,400
Speaker 2: Okay, did I.

861
00:50:20,920 --> 00:50:22,279
Speaker 4: Just getting the words out?

862
00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:22,919
Speaker 3: Definitely? Help.

863
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:29,200
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, and again I hope that you like you

864
00:50:29,280 --> 00:50:31,839
Speaker 2: like take stock and you're like, Okay, it felt good

865
00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:34,399
Speaker 2: to like talk about this and explore this, and that

866
00:50:34,400 --> 00:50:42,160
Speaker 2: that encourages you to go, like see your professional. I

867
00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:47,080
Speaker 2: hear that even if you're skeptical, because here's the because

868
00:50:47,080 --> 00:50:48,920
Speaker 2: I just, I just I guess, like, I don't know

869
00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:50,360
Speaker 2: what else you're gonna do if you're not going to

870
00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:53,040
Speaker 2: do that, you know, and I mean I think that

871
00:50:53,080 --> 00:50:55,719
Speaker 2: you're doing. I commend you for doing it for you know,

872
00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:57,759
Speaker 2: in the way that you are taking into your hands

873
00:50:57,760 --> 00:51:01,200
Speaker 2: of like trying to find like positive outlets. I think

874
00:51:01,200 --> 00:51:03,560
Speaker 2: you should keep doing that. But I don't think those

875
00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:05,560
Speaker 2: two things are mutually exclusive.

876
00:51:08,080 --> 00:51:13,520
Speaker 4: For sure. Yeah, I think, yeah, definitely getting some like

877
00:51:13,600 --> 00:51:16,160
Speaker 4: talking to a professional can't help them will help.

878
00:51:19,480 --> 00:51:20,759
Speaker 2: Alex. Is there anything else you want to say to

879
00:51:20,760 --> 00:51:21,960
Speaker 2: the people the computer before we go?

880
00:51:26,120 --> 00:51:29,920
Speaker 4: I mean, if if there's anything that you guys, feel

881
00:51:29,960 --> 00:51:32,920
Speaker 4: like makes you different from other people that you're afraid

882
00:51:32,920 --> 00:51:36,040
Speaker 4: to talk about. If you feel like you're like some

883
00:51:36,320 --> 00:51:39,279
Speaker 4: like a broken toy inside or like something happened to

884
00:51:39,320 --> 00:51:44,919
Speaker 4: you when you're a kid, I mean, everybody has that,

885
00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:47,879
Speaker 4: Like there's no there's no perfect person. There's no real

886
00:51:47,920 --> 00:51:53,680
Speaker 4: saying person. Everybody's got a thing that makes them like

887
00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:57,239
Speaker 4: a little bit fucked up. So I mean, just for

888
00:51:57,760 --> 00:52:03,719
Speaker 4: just giving your self permission to to be flawed is

889
00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:04,680
Speaker 4: really important.

890
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:06,960
Speaker 2: Thanks for calling, Alex.

891
00:52:10,520 --> 00:52:10,880
Speaker 3: Thank you.

892
00:52:11,760 --> 00:52:13,399
Speaker 2: I just thought about it. I just what about those

893
00:52:13,480 --> 00:52:16,399
Speaker 2: rage rooms? I really want to go to one of those.

894
00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:18,080
Speaker 2: You guys know what I'm talking about? The rage rooms

895
00:52:18,080 --> 00:52:21,160
Speaker 2: with like, uh, they just give you a bat and

896
00:52:21,239 --> 00:52:25,560
Speaker 2: some glasses and you break some plates. You know. I

897
00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:27,520
Speaker 2: know I told them to go see a real therapist,

898
00:52:27,600 --> 00:52:29,600
Speaker 2: but I take it back. I think you should take

899
00:52:29,640 --> 00:52:33,520
Speaker 2: the money and go to a rage room instead, or

900
00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:40,200
Speaker 2: like maybe a batting cage. Darts, No, darts aren't violent enough.

901
00:52:41,520 --> 00:52:43,880
Speaker 2: You could sit and play Grand Theft Auto for a

902
00:52:43,880 --> 00:52:46,640
Speaker 2: little bit. That always helps me. Can I get a

903
00:52:46,719 --> 00:52:49,360
Speaker 2: promo code for a rage room? Does anyone listening to

904
00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:53,799
Speaker 2: this podcast run a local rage room that I can

905
00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:56,760
Speaker 2: get a promo code for? Give it to the people.

906
00:52:57,480 --> 00:53:00,399
Speaker 2: I want to go to one. When I was a kid,

907
00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:02,719
Speaker 2: I used to, Uh, my friends and I would go

908
00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:07,640
Speaker 2: to Goodwill and we would buy all these like little trinkets,

909
00:53:07,680 --> 00:53:09,840
Speaker 2: like glass trinkets, like the stuff that you got at

910
00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:14,360
Speaker 2: your grandma's house and we would go to this empty

911
00:53:14,440 --> 00:53:18,960
Speaker 2: cul de sac and we would just smash the fucking trinkets,

912
00:53:20,320 --> 00:53:23,160
Speaker 2: and uh, that was some of the most fun I've

913
00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:25,200
Speaker 2: had in my life. That really gets it out, that

914
00:53:25,239 --> 00:53:28,400
Speaker 2: really gets it out of you. You know, I don't know,

915
00:53:28,440 --> 00:53:32,120
Speaker 2: If I don't know, maybe maybe a rage room is

916
00:53:32,160 --> 00:53:37,000
Speaker 2: a form of therapy. Yeah, yeah, Alex, if you're listening,

917
00:53:37,040 --> 00:53:38,840
Speaker 2: go to I mean, I I was joking. You should.

918
00:53:38,840 --> 00:53:41,319
Speaker 2: Also you should go to a real therapist, but hey,

919
00:53:41,320 --> 00:53:43,839
Speaker 2: maybe in the meantime, try a rage room. That could

920
00:53:43,840 --> 00:53:45,720
Speaker 2: be good.

921
00:53:45,840 --> 00:53:49,600
Speaker 1: Goes on the line, taking your phone calls every night ever,

922
00:53:50,280 --> 00:53:52,560
Speaker 1: goes to just teaching you loud and

923
00:53:55,560 --> 00:53:56,920
Speaker 3: Expert