WEBVTT - Cynthia Erivo ON: How to Take Small Steps to Achieving Your Goals & Why You Should Stop Questioning Your Ability To Achieve Them

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<v Speaker 1>What is supposed to be for you will come to you.

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<v Speaker 1>And if it wasn't meant to come to you, it won't.

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<v Speaker 1>You are good enough.

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<v Speaker 2>The best selling ardor on Most, the number one healthy

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<v Speaker 2>wellness podcast and Purpose with Jay Shetty. Hey everyone, welcome

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<v Speaker 2>back to On Purpose, the number one health and wellness

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<v Speaker 2>podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every one

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<v Speaker 2>of you that come back every week to listen, learn,

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<v Speaker 2>and grow. I'm so grateful for our incredible community here.

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<v Speaker 2>The incredible response we've received to the episodes of Late

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<v Speaker 2>It has just been unbelievable. Whether it's you sharing your

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<v Speaker 2>greatest lesson on Instagram or some of you making videos

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<v Speaker 2>about episodes on TikTok or sharing a tweet, it really

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<v Speaker 2>means the world to me to see how many things

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<v Speaker 2>you're changing about your mindset and your lifestyle in order

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<v Speaker 2>to live healthier, more healed, happier lives. And today I'm

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<v Speaker 2>speaking to a guest who I've interviewed very briefly before.

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<v Speaker 2>I was doing a Facebook audio room called safe Space,

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<v Speaker 2>and this was during the pandemic, and I got to

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<v Speaker 2>connect with this guest and since that day, I have

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<v Speaker 2>not stopped thinking about or quoting this conversation to people.

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<v Speaker 2>So when people will say to me, like, Oh, who's

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<v Speaker 2>the most interesting person you've interviewed recently, this person's name

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<v Speaker 2>comes up a million times in conversation, and I'll talk

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<v Speaker 2>about her creative process and how she gets into character.

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<v Speaker 2>And I've rarely had that feeling where I think someone's

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<v Speaker 2>words stay with me for that long. I'm always blown

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<v Speaker 2>away by my guests, but for things to stay with

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<v Speaker 2>me repetitively, and then we've kept in touch, We've had

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<v Speaker 2>we've had a few messages back and forth, but today

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<v Speaker 2>finally got to meet her. I'm speaking about the one

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<v Speaker 2>and only Cynthia Arrivo, Grammy, Emmy, and Tony Award winning actress, singer,

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<v Speaker 2>and producer, as well as an Academy Award, Golden Globe

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<v Speaker 2>and SAG nominee. Cynthia burst onto the West End and

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<v Speaker 2>Broadway stages in the color purple and has since taken

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<v Speaker 2>the world by storm. Cynthia was recently nominated for a

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<v Speaker 2>SAG and Emmy Award for her critically acclaimed portrayal of

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<v Speaker 2>a Ritha Franklin in National Geographics Emmy winning Global anthology

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<v Speaker 2>series Genius Arefa. If you've not seen it. I highly

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<v Speaker 2>recommend it. Cynthia will hit the screen in early September

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<v Speaker 2>with Disney's live action retelling of Pinocchio, my favorite story

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<v Speaker 2>growing up. I can't wait, and Cynthia will take on

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<v Speaker 2>the iconic role of the Blue Fairy. How cool. Cynthia

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<v Speaker 2>let was the lead in the h Boys series The Outsider,

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<v Speaker 2>and Cynthia starred in Harriot, where she brought the legacy

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<v Speaker 2>of Harriet Tubman to the big screen. I actually don't

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<v Speaker 2>know anyone who's played this. Many iconic people in their

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<v Speaker 2>lifetime usually just get one go, and Cynthia's taking them

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<v Speaker 2>all up. Cynthia lent her voice to the movie's title song,

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<v Speaker 2>stand Up, which he co wrote. Stand Up won Best

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<v Speaker 2>Original Song at the Hollywood Music in Media Awards, and

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<v Speaker 2>both Cynthia and Stand Up were nominated for two Academy

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<v Speaker 2>Awards as well as two Golden Globe Awards in the

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<v Speaker 2>categories of Best Actress in a Motion Picture Drama and

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<v Speaker 2>Best Original Song. Stand Up also received a nomination for

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<v Speaker 2>a Grammy Award in the category of Best Song Written

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<v Speaker 2>for Visual Media. Please Welcome to the Show, Cynthia, Riva, Cynthia,

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<v Speaker 2>It is awesome.

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<v Speaker 1>Good to see you.

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<v Speaker 2>It's good to see you. And even the first few

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<v Speaker 2>moments we've had. Yeah, you know, there's something about hearing

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<v Speaker 2>a British accent brings it home, doesn't It's I feel

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<v Speaker 2>so like embraced. I just heard your voice come up

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<v Speaker 2>the hill when you were coming up, and I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>sounds I feel like I'm growing up, like you've just

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<v Speaker 2>gone back to being a teenager. Do I make you

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<v Speaker 2>feel that way? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>Like whenever I hear because you know, fall in such purposes,

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<v Speaker 1>this is home. But whenever I hear an accent that's

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<v Speaker 1>that sounds like where I'm from, it makes it even

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<v Speaker 1>more home. It's like, oh, I really recognize that. I

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<v Speaker 1>feel like it's a warm hug. Hello.

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<v Speaker 2>Do I still have it though? That's okay, that's good. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>I always get worried. I feel like you're probably bringing

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<v Speaker 2>out more of me. I always fel like I'm quite

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<v Speaker 2>the chameleons sometimes with my Yeah, my wife always makes

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<v Speaker 2>fun of me because she's like, every time we talk

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<v Speaker 2>to one of our family in India, you just put

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<v Speaker 2>on an Indian accent, and I do it really unknowingly.

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<v Speaker 2>I do it as like that.

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<v Speaker 1>I think we each have depending on where from. We

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<v Speaker 1>have like traces of what that is, so I know

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<v Speaker 1>that when I'm talking to my Nigerian friends. We've been

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<v Speaker 1>listening to that accent since we were kids, so it's

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<v Speaker 1>not that we aren't we don't have the accent. It's

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<v Speaker 1>sort of like embedded on our brains, so it just

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<v Speaker 1>comes out when we're together. It's sort of like the

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<v Speaker 1>comfortability of it comes out. So I think it's the

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<v Speaker 1>same as when we're around other English people. The comfortability

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<v Speaker 1>of speaking with an English accent, yes comes to life.

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<v Speaker 1>There are terms when I have to sort of like

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<v Speaker 1>shift certain words whenever I'm I'm speaking to other American people.

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<v Speaker 1>There are words that get sort of misunderstood. So I

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<v Speaker 1>might say one thing and they'll be like, what does

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<v Speaker 1>that mean? So I'll find the American version of that

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<v Speaker 1>word and repeat it. And there are times when I've

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<v Speaker 1>had to change the accent to make sure that we're

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<v Speaker 1>both understanding. We get lost in translation. So I totally

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<v Speaker 1>understand why it might be stronger when you're speaking to me,

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<v Speaker 1>because now you don't have to make it any milder

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<v Speaker 1>because you know that I'll understand everything you say.

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely. Yeah, there was this I remember when he first

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<v Speaker 2>moved here and my wife would be at the grocery

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<v Speaker 2>store and she'd be like, can I get a tin

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<v Speaker 2>of beans please? Like what's a tin can? Yeah, She's like,

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<v Speaker 2>where's the tin of this? And tin of that? And

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<v Speaker 2>then there was the one that I always I started

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<v Speaker 2>changing my language from being pounds to dollars, and so

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<v Speaker 2>I'd be in a video or an interview, yeah, I'd

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<v Speaker 2>be saying dollars and then all my all my brit

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<v Speaker 2>friends in the comment section would be like, oh, we

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<v Speaker 2>see where you are now. You know you left us now,

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<v Speaker 2>so yeah, what was your you were stock call right? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm North London. So I grew up in like wood Green, Tottenham,

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<v Speaker 2>Mary like that was That's where I grew up. What's

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<v Speaker 2>something that we kind of moved to the States around

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<v Speaker 2>the same time, we just found out What's something that

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<v Speaker 2>you miss about but you love about la.

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<v Speaker 1>I love the sunshine in l a. I love that

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<v Speaker 1>there's there's it's so bright a lot of the time,

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<v Speaker 1>and that it's warm a lot of the time. But

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<v Speaker 1>there is something really wonderful about the way the weather

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<v Speaker 1>changes in London in the UK, the way you get

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<v Speaker 1>the seasons. Obviously, I miss family. I don't get to

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<v Speaker 1>see them as often as as I would do if

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<v Speaker 1>I was there. And like silly things like biscuits, because

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<v Speaker 1>biscuits here are very different to biscuits there.

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<v Speaker 2>Which ones are your favorite biscuits?

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<v Speaker 1>Digestives Mcvitty's Digestives or like hobnobs.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, I love rich tea.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so good, the.

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<v Speaker 2>One or whatever that ones are so good.

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<v Speaker 1>Like little things like that, you just sort of like

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<v Speaker 1>miss Layers also are not the same as Walkers. Walkers

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<v Speaker 1>are really good. Lays are good too, but all of

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<v Speaker 1>Walker's packets you have to find like the right Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, silly things like that.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, exactly. Yeah. No, I love talking about it because

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<v Speaker 2>it's same for me. It's interesting you said that. I

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<v Speaker 2>think I often feel that sometimes when I'm back in

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<v Speaker 2>England and it's like, oh, you live in Hollywood now

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<v Speaker 2>and you live in LA And I'm like, well, no

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<v Speaker 2>to me. I live in LA because the weather's incredible. End.

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<v Speaker 2>I love waking up to a blue sky every day. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>And I love the fact that I can go on

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<v Speaker 2>a hike. Yeah right here it can be in nature.

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<v Speaker 2>I hike for about two miles every day around my

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<v Speaker 2>home and it's just I love that. I never could

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<v Speaker 2>have done that in London. I never did. And at

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<v Speaker 2>the same time, I miss a lot of it. I

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<v Speaker 2>miss going to watch a football match because I love

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<v Speaker 2>football and so for me being able to go to

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<v Speaker 2>going to watch a game and like feeling the energy

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<v Speaker 2>of the fans, yeah, yeah, it's it's it's special. There's

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<v Speaker 2>like a special vibe around it. But what I like

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<v Speaker 2>to doing on purpose is I like to dive into

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<v Speaker 2>people's journeys, people's stories. Parts of them. We're not we're

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<v Speaker 2>not following a linear or you know, we're not trying

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<v Speaker 2>to do it by graphical peace, But I love diving

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<v Speaker 2>into stuff. And I saw that you went to a

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<v Speaker 2>Roman Catholic school. Yeah yeah, How is that influence now

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<v Speaker 2>when you look back who you are today? Positive? Things

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<v Speaker 2>that were challenging, Like, how do you grapple with that today?

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<v Speaker 1>What does it feel like growing up and going to

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<v Speaker 1>a Roman Catholic school.

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<v Speaker 2>There's a girls school too, all girls school.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's strange because I never really felt like I

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<v Speaker 1>totally fit in there. I believe in God, but that

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<v Speaker 1>sort of upbringing felt really restrictive. It's so rules based

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<v Speaker 1>that you sort of miss the most important parts of

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<v Speaker 1>what that faith is supposed to be about. And I

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<v Speaker 1>kind of let a lot of the Roman Catholic side

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<v Speaker 1>of me go just so that I create I could

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<v Speaker 1>create space for me to form my own understanding of

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<v Speaker 1>what my faith should encompass. Right now, I'm really clear

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<v Speaker 1>on the fact that the most important part of my

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<v Speaker 1>faith is to be as loving and kind to people,

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<v Speaker 1>to the world around me. Not just people. But I

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<v Speaker 1>have two dogs, so I can't take care of them

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<v Speaker 1>in the most loving way because I want that to

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<v Speaker 1>come back to me. So I believe things are really cyclical,

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<v Speaker 1>so if you give out something good, that good will

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<v Speaker 1>come back. You might not see it immediately, but somehow

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<v Speaker 1>it finds its way back to you. It's like a boomerang,

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<v Speaker 1>you know. And I think that that is really the

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<v Speaker 1>most important part of my faith. And I sort of

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<v Speaker 1>encouraged myself to really take in what is around me

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<v Speaker 1>so that I can appreciate the wonderful things that come.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, the fact that I can get up in

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<v Speaker 1>the morning and go for a run and it's really sunny,

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<v Speaker 1>and as I passed by, there are two today when

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<v Speaker 1>I ran, there were two women who stopped and I

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<v Speaker 1>saw them as they passed by, they smiled and I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, let's love of them smiling. And I ran

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<v Speaker 1>back and somehow managed to meet them again. How I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know. I ran three miles, I you know, just

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<v Speaker 1>did a quick five k, but somehow on my way

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<v Speaker 1>back we met in exactly the same place and they

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<v Speaker 1>stopped and I stopped and they just were like, we

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<v Speaker 1>were just really impressed. I don't know, what, what are

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<v Speaker 1>you running for? I'm running for the marathon. I was, oh, okay, great,

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<v Speaker 1>And just those little interactions are really special because well,

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<v Speaker 1>we don't know how either one of us is going

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<v Speaker 1>to influence our day, and to be able to stop

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<v Speaker 1>and have that conversation with the person and smile at

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<v Speaker 1>someone and you know, have something positive means that we've

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<v Speaker 1>put something positive into each other. And I think that

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<v Speaker 1>that is really what it is about for me. And

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<v Speaker 1>I understand that everyone has their own understanding of faith,

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<v Speaker 1>but for me, we're in Catholicism sort of doesn't give

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<v Speaker 1>us the space to embrace all of that.

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<v Speaker 2>It's always really interesting hearing someone's reflection in hindsight, because

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know how it felt at that time whether

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<v Speaker 2>it felt the same way. But I went to an

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<v Speaker 2>all boys school. So I went to Queen Elizabeth's Boys

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<v Speaker 2>School in Barnet, and I used to take like a

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<v Speaker 2>forty five minute bus or to an hour bus sometimes

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<v Speaker 2>just to get there every day. My parents had worked

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<v Speaker 2>really hard for me to prepare for exams to get

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<v Speaker 2>into this school, and it wasn't private, but it was

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<v Speaker 2>a great education. And at the time, it's like all

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<v Speaker 2>of us didn't want to go there because it was

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<v Speaker 2>so strict, it was so like disciplined. But I found

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<v Speaker 2>a few teachers there that kind of had this openness,

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<v Speaker 2>and so I had my art teacher at the time,

0:11:34.720 --> 0:11:37.400
<v Speaker 2>mister Buckeridge, who's still there, I believe, and we keep

0:11:37.440 --> 0:11:40.160
<v Speaker 2>in touch now and again. But he just helped me

0:11:40.240 --> 0:11:42.839
<v Speaker 2>think so differently. So in this space where they were

0:11:42.840 --> 0:11:45.520
<v Speaker 2>like rules and discipline, there was a teacher who just

0:11:45.640 --> 0:11:49.320
<v Speaker 2>kind of I just knew how to navigate enough where

0:11:49.320 --> 0:11:52.000
<v Speaker 2>you were in the rules but not too much. And

0:11:52.040 --> 0:11:54.240
<v Speaker 2>he helped me so much with my thought process and

0:11:54.320 --> 0:11:57.240
<v Speaker 2>my mindset. And now when I look back, I'm really

0:11:57.320 --> 0:12:02.559
<v Speaker 2>grateful that I have this really beautiful experience where I

0:12:02.600 --> 0:12:06.320
<v Speaker 2>feel like I have equal parts discipline, right, and equal

0:12:06.360 --> 0:12:10.480
<v Speaker 2>parts artistry, And I really embraced those two sides. I

0:12:10.480 --> 0:12:11.400
<v Speaker 2>was wondering with you, like you.

0:12:11.480 --> 0:12:14.680
<v Speaker 1>You're right, You're very right. Actually, you're really right about that,

0:12:14.679 --> 0:12:18.239
<v Speaker 1>that there is that sort of like tandem of discipline

0:12:18.640 --> 0:12:22.400
<v Speaker 1>and artistry. My favorite music teacher, my music teacher, and

0:12:22.400 --> 0:12:25.640
<v Speaker 1>a French teacher for some reason, sort of stuck to me.

0:12:26.720 --> 0:12:31.080
<v Speaker 1>Miss Ryecraft and Madame Chesley. They both just wanted me

0:12:31.200 --> 0:12:34.240
<v Speaker 1>to blossom as a creative. Madame Chesley wouldn't let me

0:12:34.280 --> 0:12:36.480
<v Speaker 1>get away without speaking some sort of French to her

0:12:36.559 --> 0:12:38.640
<v Speaker 1>all the time, and now I love the language very

0:12:38.720 --> 0:12:42.360
<v Speaker 1>much so. And Miss Ryecraft made me learn every kind

0:12:42.360 --> 0:12:44.679
<v Speaker 1>of instruments I could possibly put my hands on and

0:12:44.960 --> 0:12:48.200
<v Speaker 1>seeing everything I could possibly sing. But it also gave

0:12:48.240 --> 0:12:52.360
<v Speaker 1>me the discipline of wanting to learn, wanting to be

0:12:52.559 --> 0:12:56.199
<v Speaker 1>as good as I want to be at these particular subjects.

0:12:56.360 --> 0:12:59.760
<v Speaker 1>And you're right in that there is a wonderful sort

0:12:59.800 --> 0:13:05.760
<v Speaker 1>of melding of creativity and discipline that has definitely influenced

0:13:05.840 --> 0:13:10.040
<v Speaker 1>how I live and how I've lived so far.

0:13:10.200 --> 0:13:11.920
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I was thinking that with you because when you

0:13:11.960 --> 0:13:15.080
<v Speaker 2>brought up running, Yeah, you've got to be really disciplined.

0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:19.520
<v Speaker 2>When I see your stories or postally running literally, I'm like,

0:13:20.000 --> 0:13:23.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm an anxiety. I'm like, I'm so glad. I was like,

0:13:23.360 --> 0:13:26.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm becoming friends with Cynthia, I hope. But as long

0:13:26.360 --> 0:13:28.160
<v Speaker 2>as she doesn't invite me on a run, we're good.

0:13:28.240 --> 0:13:29.839
<v Speaker 2>Like she wants to do a hike, I could do that,

0:13:30.320 --> 0:13:33.440
<v Speaker 2>but it's you record. It's requited so much discipline, so

0:13:33.559 --> 0:13:35.920
<v Speaker 2>much energy, And that's that's all. I'm running first, and

0:13:35.920 --> 0:13:38.320
<v Speaker 2>then we'll move into your artistry. But when you look

0:13:38.360 --> 0:13:39.760
<v Speaker 2>at how much you're running, you just said you run

0:13:39.800 --> 0:13:41.120
<v Speaker 2>a half marathon.

0:13:40.800 --> 0:13:43.959
<v Speaker 1>Run a half marathon? Are over the weekend and then

0:13:44.600 --> 0:13:47.640
<v Speaker 1>this every day is about eight miles except for today,

0:13:47.640 --> 0:13:49.000
<v Speaker 1>which is supposed to be a break day. So I

0:13:49.000 --> 0:13:52.199
<v Speaker 1>did five k and then on the weekend it's sixteen

0:13:52.200 --> 0:13:54.160
<v Speaker 1>to eighteen And how do you find time.

0:13:53.960 --> 0:13:57.400
<v Speaker 2>For this in between roles and prep and like, is

0:13:57.440 --> 0:13:59.080
<v Speaker 2>this something that continues? This?

0:13:59.200 --> 0:13:59.800
<v Speaker 1>It just goes on.

0:14:00.320 --> 0:14:01.280
<v Speaker 2>That's I agree that.

0:14:01.679 --> 0:14:05.120
<v Speaker 1>Like I've been running since I was twenty. My first

0:14:05.120 --> 0:14:08.520
<v Speaker 1>marathon was twenty sixteen. I think I had one mini

0:14:08.559 --> 0:14:10.600
<v Speaker 1>break in between. I was I remember I was in

0:14:10.600 --> 0:14:13.040
<v Speaker 1>Atlantan just decided let me get back to it, and

0:14:13.160 --> 0:14:17.679
<v Speaker 1>haven't stopped since then. It's an ongoing journey that teaches

0:14:17.760 --> 0:14:24.320
<v Speaker 1>you about discipline, your stamina, how your mind works, how

0:14:24.360 --> 0:14:28.040
<v Speaker 1>you psych yourself out sometimes, how you can buoy yourself

0:14:28.120 --> 0:14:32.160
<v Speaker 1>and lift yourself up. And I gained so much from it,

0:14:33.120 --> 0:14:35.520
<v Speaker 1>believe me. There are days when I do not want

0:14:35.560 --> 0:14:38.800
<v Speaker 1>to get outside or on a treadmill and do any

0:14:38.840 --> 0:14:42.440
<v Speaker 1>of it, but that also is a moment for me

0:14:42.480 --> 0:14:45.240
<v Speaker 1>to sort of learn. There are days when yes, it's

0:14:45.280 --> 0:14:48.400
<v Speaker 1>good to stop, take a second and not do the

0:14:48.480 --> 0:14:51.840
<v Speaker 1>run today. But other days it's how can I overcome

0:14:51.960 --> 0:14:55.560
<v Speaker 1>this moment where I'm like, truly not wanting to do it?

0:14:56.200 --> 0:14:58.960
<v Speaker 1>And those days when I'm able to overcome those moments

0:14:58.960 --> 0:15:00.480
<v Speaker 1>when I'm like, I do not want to do this.

0:15:01.000 --> 0:15:03.640
<v Speaker 1>Often other days when the runs are the best, which

0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:08.280
<v Speaker 1>is very strange, but I love it. It has provided

0:15:09.240 --> 0:15:14.040
<v Speaker 1>space to think. It's provided moments where I've made friends

0:15:14.160 --> 0:15:17.160
<v Speaker 1>along the way. People are now used to seeing me

0:15:17.240 --> 0:15:19.760
<v Speaker 1>do certain routes, so I always bump into people and

0:15:19.800 --> 0:15:23.480
<v Speaker 1>I say hello, and it just it gives me a lot.

0:15:23.920 --> 0:15:28.000
<v Speaker 1>The physical aspect is, yes, your body loves it. It's

0:15:28.080 --> 0:15:31.200
<v Speaker 1>great to work out, But it's more a mental thing

0:15:31.680 --> 0:15:34.760
<v Speaker 1>than anything else. Distance running really is more mental than

0:15:34.800 --> 0:15:38.600
<v Speaker 1>physical because once your physical is done, if you get

0:15:38.640 --> 0:15:44.320
<v Speaker 1>to eighteen past half marathon, it really is sort of like, okay, mind,

0:15:44.720 --> 0:15:48.320
<v Speaker 1>how will you get past the rest of this? And

0:15:48.320 --> 0:15:52.280
<v Speaker 1>that's always a really wonderful sort of adventure.

0:15:52.640 --> 0:15:58.920
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Have you felt that that approach to anxiety and

0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:02.360
<v Speaker 2>psyching you yourself out? Have you feel that become applied

0:16:02.400 --> 0:16:04.760
<v Speaker 2>to life through that process of running? Like? Yeah, because

0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:05.880
<v Speaker 2>you give us an example of how that.

0:16:05.880 --> 0:16:08.440
<v Speaker 1>Is, Because honestly, it's those days are the step by

0:16:08.480 --> 0:16:10.840
<v Speaker 1>step days. That's that's what I call them. You just

0:16:10.920 --> 0:16:14.080
<v Speaker 1>take one step, then take the next step, and take

0:16:14.120 --> 0:16:17.000
<v Speaker 1>the next, and the next and the next, and you'll

0:16:17.400 --> 0:16:20.960
<v Speaker 1>realize at some point you're running. That's and that's essentially

0:16:21.320 --> 0:16:24.920
<v Speaker 1>what happens with me with other things. This is a

0:16:24.920 --> 0:16:29.120
<v Speaker 1>silly example. I had to redo my closet. Everything was

0:16:29.160 --> 0:16:31.000
<v Speaker 1>taken out of it, and I've had to put it

0:16:31.040 --> 0:16:33.800
<v Speaker 1>all back together again. And when I first looked at

0:16:33.960 --> 0:16:37.000
<v Speaker 1>this task, it just looked mammoth. I was like, there's

0:16:37.000 --> 0:16:39.880
<v Speaker 1>no way I'm going to get this back in order again.

0:16:39.920 --> 0:16:42.520
<v Speaker 1>And I looked at it and would go away and

0:16:42.560 --> 0:16:45.000
<v Speaker 1>go I'm not it's not going to get done. I

0:16:45.040 --> 0:16:47.360
<v Speaker 1>can't do it. I can't do it. And then one

0:16:47.440 --> 0:16:50.680
<v Speaker 1>day I just said, just start, just start to start.

0:16:51.480 --> 0:16:55.560
<v Speaker 1>Nothing else after that. If you just start, something will

0:16:55.560 --> 0:16:59.160
<v Speaker 1>get done. Even if it's like one small section, you

0:16:59.200 --> 0:17:02.480
<v Speaker 1>will have started, and the next day just start again.

0:17:03.080 --> 0:17:05.680
<v Speaker 1>It's the same for it from learning a piece or

0:17:05.920 --> 0:17:11.600
<v Speaker 1>a song that just won't stay. I'll just start, learn

0:17:11.640 --> 0:17:14.320
<v Speaker 1>the first line and just keep going over the first line,

0:17:14.400 --> 0:17:16.159
<v Speaker 1>and sooner or later the first line will be in

0:17:16.200 --> 0:17:17.639
<v Speaker 1>there and you want to go into the next line.

0:17:18.240 --> 0:17:21.119
<v Speaker 1>You do a piece, or you're playing a character you

0:17:21.240 --> 0:17:25.400
<v Speaker 1>just can't understand. Just read the lines. Read the lines,

0:17:25.880 --> 0:17:28.240
<v Speaker 1>find out what other people are saying, find out what

0:17:28.320 --> 0:17:31.400
<v Speaker 1>the journey is, and then sooner or later you'll want

0:17:31.400 --> 0:17:34.160
<v Speaker 1>to get to know this character. Another way to get

0:17:34.200 --> 0:17:36.000
<v Speaker 1>to know this character is probably to learn the character.

0:17:36.000 --> 0:17:38.159
<v Speaker 1>And when you learn the character, well you've learned the character.

0:17:38.440 --> 0:17:41.480
<v Speaker 1>Now you know it. All these sort of little mountains

0:17:41.600 --> 0:17:46.400
<v Speaker 1>or trials, they're just they aren't always easy, but if

0:17:46.400 --> 0:17:49.680
<v Speaker 1>you just start, you might be able to get over them.

0:17:50.040 --> 0:17:53.000
<v Speaker 1>Even when you're running hills. I never look at that,

0:17:53.080 --> 0:17:55.480
<v Speaker 1>And you know, sometimes you're told look straight ahead. I

0:17:55.520 --> 0:17:58.119
<v Speaker 1>always look at the bit in front of me. My

0:17:58.240 --> 0:18:00.800
<v Speaker 1>eyes are never pointed upward. When I'm walking up a hill.

0:18:01.080 --> 0:18:02.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm always like, if I can just get my foot

0:18:02.920 --> 0:18:04.360
<v Speaker 1>in front of this next foot, and if I could

0:18:04.400 --> 0:18:06.760
<v Speaker 1>just keep going bit by bit by bit, as sooner

0:18:06.880 --> 0:18:08.760
<v Speaker 1>or later, when I look up, I'll be at the

0:18:08.760 --> 0:18:10.800
<v Speaker 1>top of the hill. And that's always what's happened. And

0:18:10.840 --> 0:18:13.240
<v Speaker 1>it's the one thing that doesn't that keeps me from

0:18:13.240 --> 0:18:16.320
<v Speaker 1>stopping in the middle of a hill. I just keep going,

0:18:16.480 --> 0:18:18.440
<v Speaker 1>one foot in the front of the other. My eyes

0:18:18.440 --> 0:18:20.920
<v Speaker 1>are pointed downwards because I know that there's only one

0:18:20.920 --> 0:18:23.520
<v Speaker 1>foot that keep can that the only thing that can

0:18:23.520 --> 0:18:25.000
<v Speaker 1>happen is I'm going to put my foot in front

0:18:25.040 --> 0:18:28.520
<v Speaker 1>of my foot again. And then eventually the hill sort

0:18:28.520 --> 0:18:30.360
<v Speaker 1>of flattens out, and you're like, oh, I got there,

0:18:30.640 --> 0:18:33.560
<v Speaker 1>I made it, Okay, Yeah, I keep going. It's good.

0:18:33.920 --> 0:18:36.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's so powerful. I love that perspective because I

0:18:37.000 --> 0:18:39.399
<v Speaker 2>think you are right there. We've kind of been trained

0:18:39.400 --> 0:18:42.240
<v Speaker 2>in society to look at the goal, look at the target,

0:18:42.720 --> 0:18:45.439
<v Speaker 2>figure out the end point. And you're so right that

0:18:45.560 --> 0:18:47.199
<v Speaker 2>if you ever try and run or whatever you do,

0:18:47.240 --> 0:18:50.080
<v Speaker 2>whether it's hiking or anything, swimming or whatever. If you're

0:18:50.119 --> 0:18:54.320
<v Speaker 2>looking at the end constantly, you'll keep measuring how far

0:18:54.400 --> 0:18:56.639
<v Speaker 2>you are away from exactly. I know that I don't

0:18:56.840 --> 0:18:59.199
<v Speaker 2>run anywhere close to as much as you do. But

0:18:59.240 --> 0:19:02.200
<v Speaker 2>when I have ever run before, when I have looked

0:19:02.240 --> 0:19:03.600
<v Speaker 2>at the end, I'm just like, how am I going

0:19:03.640 --> 0:19:06.240
<v Speaker 2>to get so far away? I'm still so far away? Okay,

0:19:06.280 --> 0:19:07.760
<v Speaker 2>I'll get to that point and then I'll walk and

0:19:07.760 --> 0:19:10.199
<v Speaker 2>then you know whatever, and then you start negotiating with yourself, right,

0:19:10.560 --> 0:19:12.160
<v Speaker 2>rather than if you are just looking at it. It's

0:19:12.160 --> 0:19:14.800
<v Speaker 2>the same when we were taught to meditate as monks.

0:19:14.800 --> 0:19:16.560
<v Speaker 2>I lived as a month for three years, and when

0:19:16.600 --> 0:19:20.399
<v Speaker 2>we were trained in that practice, we always meditated on beads.

0:19:20.960 --> 0:19:23.119
<v Speaker 2>And you get this beautiful set of beads. So I

0:19:23.160 --> 0:19:24.840
<v Speaker 2>still have them today, and there's one hundred and eight

0:19:24.880 --> 0:19:28.600
<v Speaker 2>of them, which is a sacred number. And you're told

0:19:28.640 --> 0:19:31.240
<v Speaker 2>to just focus on one bead at a time, right,

0:19:31.560 --> 0:19:33.280
<v Speaker 2>And the mind is like, oh, I've got to get

0:19:33.400 --> 0:19:34.960
<v Speaker 2>one hundred and eight beads and you've got to do

0:19:35.000 --> 0:19:37.760
<v Speaker 2>this multiple times and whatever it is. And so we're talking, no,

0:19:37.960 --> 0:19:40.320
<v Speaker 2>just one bead at a time, one step at a time. One,

0:19:40.680 --> 0:19:43.800
<v Speaker 2>you know, and just start. I love that as I

0:19:43.840 --> 0:19:47.359
<v Speaker 2>love that as a view of like, just start today

0:19:47.240 --> 0:19:49.760
<v Speaker 2>and you'll thank yourself later. You'll figure it out.

0:19:49.760 --> 0:19:51.480
<v Speaker 1>I can't tell you how many times people have asked,

0:19:51.520 --> 0:19:53.119
<v Speaker 1>how do you how do you even do that? How

0:19:53.160 --> 0:19:55.359
<v Speaker 1>do you run so much? I like, I want to start,

0:19:55.400 --> 0:19:57.360
<v Speaker 1>I'm not sure what to do, and how like I'm

0:19:57.359 --> 0:19:59.840
<v Speaker 1>never going to be able to run that distance. No

0:20:00.000 --> 0:20:03.080
<v Speaker 1>one is asking you to run that distance. Just go

0:20:03.160 --> 0:20:07.080
<v Speaker 1>outside and stop. Yeah, that's it, putting your sneakers. Even

0:20:07.119 --> 0:20:09.640
<v Speaker 1>if you only make it to the door, that's more

0:20:09.640 --> 0:20:11.919
<v Speaker 1>than you did yesterday. Yes, and then maybe you'll make

0:20:11.960 --> 0:20:14.160
<v Speaker 1>it in front of the door tomorrow, and then maybe

0:20:14.160 --> 0:20:17.080
<v Speaker 1>you'll make it just down your street. That is a run. Yeah,

0:20:17.200 --> 0:20:21.000
<v Speaker 1>five minutes of running is a run. Yes, it doesn't

0:20:21.040 --> 0:20:24.160
<v Speaker 1>need to be half an hour, an hour, two hours,

0:20:24.600 --> 0:20:28.800
<v Speaker 1>Two minutes is a run. Just start. Just a little

0:20:28.800 --> 0:20:33.600
<v Speaker 1>bit is enough and then you'll find more later. You'll

0:20:33.600 --> 0:20:36.960
<v Speaker 1>find that you are asking. Your mind is asking your

0:20:37.000 --> 0:20:40.480
<v Speaker 1>body is asking for a little bit more because the

0:20:40.600 --> 0:20:42.920
<v Speaker 1>five minutes that you did is now what I can

0:20:42.960 --> 0:20:44.199
<v Speaker 1>do that I'll do more.

0:20:44.240 --> 0:20:47.560
<v Speaker 2>Then. This episode is brought to you by eight sleep.

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<v Speaker 2>Eight Sleep currently ships within the USA, Canada, the UK,

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<v Speaker 2>select countries in the EU and Australia. Were you always athletic? Like,

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<v Speaker 2>was that always a part of your life growing up?

0:22:50.200 --> 0:22:52.760
<v Speaker 1>Like, Yeah, I've always I've always been athletic, whether it

0:22:52.800 --> 0:22:57.040
<v Speaker 1>be dance or sport. I was a sprinter when I

0:22:57.160 --> 0:22:59.919
<v Speaker 1>was younger, That's what I sort of wanted to do.

0:23:00.119 --> 0:23:03.240
<v Speaker 1>And then my very first sort of distance round was

0:23:03.240 --> 0:23:06.800
<v Speaker 1>a five K and it was for cancer research, and

0:23:06.840 --> 0:23:10.160
<v Speaker 1>I just wanted to do something and I saw this

0:23:10.960 --> 0:23:15.600
<v Speaker 1>run happening in a park nearby, and I started doing it,

0:23:15.640 --> 0:23:18.080
<v Speaker 1>and I don't know, I sort of was telling myself

0:23:18.080 --> 0:23:19.639
<v Speaker 1>that I can't run outside. I'm not going to be

0:23:19.680 --> 0:23:23.000
<v Speaker 1>able to and then I just figured it out, just

0:23:23.000 --> 0:23:25.639
<v Speaker 1>w I'll just find a route And that's sort of

0:23:25.640 --> 0:23:28.639
<v Speaker 1>what happened. And I haven't really stopped since then.

0:23:28.920 --> 0:23:32.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, when you applied that to your career, Now, did

0:23:32.160 --> 0:23:35.720
<v Speaker 2>little Cynthia ever think that? You know? And I don't

0:23:35.760 --> 0:23:38.159
<v Speaker 2>want to simplify, and I'm very careful about this. I

0:23:38.240 --> 0:23:42.480
<v Speaker 2>never like to simplify someone's success to external accomplishments and awards.

0:23:43.320 --> 0:23:46.639
<v Speaker 2>But did little Cynthia like growing up in stockworld, like

0:23:46.720 --> 0:23:48.439
<v Speaker 2>you know, and you look at the journey you've been on,

0:23:48.520 --> 0:23:53.680
<v Speaker 2>and you know Emmy, Grammy, Tony and more importantly, you've

0:23:53.680 --> 0:23:57.760
<v Speaker 2>paid iconic people who transformed culture. And your work is

0:23:58.440 --> 0:24:03.560
<v Speaker 2>educating people on these incredible personalities that history can try

0:24:03.560 --> 0:24:05.800
<v Speaker 2>to forget or doesn't know enough about, or doesn't know

0:24:05.840 --> 0:24:08.359
<v Speaker 2>the depth of the story. Like, what would little Cynthia

0:24:08.400 --> 0:24:08.800
<v Speaker 2>say to you?

0:24:08.880 --> 0:24:09.040
<v Speaker 1>Now?

0:24:09.119 --> 0:24:11.080
<v Speaker 2>Like looking at all of that like, who believed in

0:24:11.119 --> 0:24:13.919
<v Speaker 2>you back then? Like was there? Did your parents? Did

0:24:13.960 --> 0:24:17.280
<v Speaker 2>your family? Like? Who knew this was possible? Did anyone?

0:24:17.520 --> 0:24:20.760
<v Speaker 1>My mom believed in me sort of from the beginning.

0:24:20.840 --> 0:24:24.320
<v Speaker 1>She knew when I was a kid that that was

0:24:24.320 --> 0:24:27.080
<v Speaker 1>sort of what I was going to do. Apparently I

0:24:27.119 --> 0:24:30.600
<v Speaker 1>would hum when I ate, so she she was like,

0:24:30.920 --> 0:24:32.800
<v Speaker 1>it's probably going to be a singer or an actor.

0:24:33.280 --> 0:24:36.600
<v Speaker 1>So that sort of, like it was came at no

0:24:36.720 --> 0:24:38.639
<v Speaker 1>surprise to her that this is what I sort of

0:24:38.680 --> 0:24:43.560
<v Speaker 1>wanted to do. And my sister, you know, has always

0:24:43.600 --> 0:24:46.720
<v Speaker 1>been around for everything that happened to her. She's always

0:24:46.720 --> 0:24:48.359
<v Speaker 1>believed in it and has come to some of the

0:24:48.359 --> 0:24:51.280
<v Speaker 1>shows and seen some things. And you know, I have

0:24:51.400 --> 0:24:55.520
<v Speaker 1>really wonderful friends, Mum. One of my friends, pri Hakeem,

0:24:55.920 --> 0:24:59.159
<v Speaker 1>who I've known for almost seventeen or eighteen years at

0:24:59.160 --> 0:25:01.919
<v Speaker 1>this point, has just always been there and like always

0:25:02.359 --> 0:25:05.119
<v Speaker 1>has gotten it and believed in me. And I have

0:25:05.200 --> 0:25:07.679
<v Speaker 1>some really incredible friends who I'm getting to watch do

0:25:07.960 --> 0:25:11.199
<v Speaker 1>amazing things now as well, but they also believe in me.

0:25:11.359 --> 0:25:14.879
<v Speaker 1>And I've been lucky enough to be surrounded by some

0:25:15.119 --> 0:25:19.879
<v Speaker 1>wonderful people. Little Cynthia believed in herself, although I'm not

0:25:20.040 --> 0:25:25.280
<v Speaker 1>entirely sure that she knew how much was coming. She

0:25:25.400 --> 0:25:27.360
<v Speaker 1>sort of kept her head down and just was like, wow,

0:25:27.600 --> 0:25:30.560
<v Speaker 1>too much. It was always a game of like, i'll

0:25:30.560 --> 0:25:34.600
<v Speaker 1>try this. Okay, I'll do that. Now I'm game to like,

0:25:35.520 --> 0:25:37.639
<v Speaker 1>I'll do some backing vocals for this person, I'll go

0:25:37.680 --> 0:25:40.199
<v Speaker 1>and sing it at this sort of club and do

0:25:40.280 --> 0:25:43.160
<v Speaker 1>all those things, and I'll try this young access course.

0:25:43.200 --> 0:25:47.520
<v Speaker 1>And there's just like it's a combination of yes, hard work,

0:25:47.560 --> 0:25:52.560
<v Speaker 1>but also loving the adventure and wanting to try new

0:25:52.600 --> 0:25:57.320
<v Speaker 1>things and wanting to not miss out on something if

0:25:57.359 --> 0:26:01.120
<v Speaker 1>I don't enjoy, you know, I think that she would

0:26:01.160 --> 0:26:03.840
<v Speaker 1>probably pat me on the back and give me the

0:26:03.880 --> 0:26:06.040
<v Speaker 1>mischievous look that I give most people when I'm like

0:26:06.400 --> 0:26:09.880
<v Speaker 1>that's good, and be really really happy, and then she'd

0:26:09.880 --> 0:26:11.639
<v Speaker 1>be like, what else are we going to do?

0:26:11.840 --> 0:26:12.439
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

0:26:12.560 --> 0:26:13.479
<v Speaker 1>What else can we do?

0:26:13.800 --> 0:26:17.480
<v Speaker 2>That's awesome? Yeah, I love that. And it's so I

0:26:17.760 --> 0:26:20.159
<v Speaker 2>actually realized it's more and more that a lot of

0:26:20.200 --> 0:26:23.440
<v Speaker 2>people that I speak to did have people that believed

0:26:23.440 --> 0:26:25.960
<v Speaker 2>in them, Like there was that, and I love hearing that.

0:26:26.000 --> 0:26:28.760
<v Speaker 2>I think it's important to normalize that too, where it's like, hey,

0:26:28.800 --> 0:26:31.920
<v Speaker 2>if you believe in your kids. It's great, it's good. Yeah,

0:26:32.280 --> 0:26:34.240
<v Speaker 2>yeah you should. And then if there's people out there

0:26:34.240 --> 0:26:35.920
<v Speaker 2>who grew up with parents who didn't believe in them,

0:26:35.960 --> 0:26:38.240
<v Speaker 2>yeah that's great. You get resilient that way. But it's

0:26:38.240 --> 0:26:41.080
<v Speaker 2>beautiful to hear that there's two ways. There's not like this,

0:26:41.440 --> 0:26:43.720
<v Speaker 2>Oh well, you should have had everyone telling you you're

0:26:43.760 --> 0:26:45.199
<v Speaker 2>never going to make it and that's the only way.

0:26:45.240 --> 0:26:46.840
<v Speaker 2>And you're like, I, actually I had really good friends

0:26:46.840 --> 0:26:47.240
<v Speaker 2>around me.

0:26:47.400 --> 0:26:50.400
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, you know, And I think I just sort

0:26:50.400 --> 0:26:53.560
<v Speaker 1>of like have been consistently sort of finding my tribe

0:26:53.600 --> 0:26:58.520
<v Speaker 1>and finding people who who are challenging me and wanting

0:26:58.560 --> 0:27:01.119
<v Speaker 1>me to keep being better and keep doing things that

0:27:01.600 --> 0:27:04.040
<v Speaker 1>are different and than there are those friends who are

0:27:04.080 --> 0:27:05.919
<v Speaker 1>just we're here when you want to have like a

0:27:05.920 --> 0:27:08.760
<v Speaker 1>normal day and a cap of ty and like sit

0:27:08.840 --> 0:27:12.120
<v Speaker 1>down and chat, and we need both. And I love

0:27:12.200 --> 0:27:15.879
<v Speaker 1>that balance because it is kind of what life is

0:27:15.920 --> 0:27:19.840
<v Speaker 1>made of. There's never always just the one way to be,

0:27:20.640 --> 0:27:22.680
<v Speaker 1>and I think both influenced the other.

0:27:22.960 --> 0:27:26.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you've been known for playing so many iconic people.

0:27:26.280 --> 0:27:28.760
<v Speaker 2>Now when was a role where a role that you've

0:27:28.760 --> 0:27:31.920
<v Speaker 2>played that you feel you loved but it wasn't as

0:27:32.080 --> 0:27:36.639
<v Speaker 2>well known or it was something that maybe wasn't as successful,

0:27:36.680 --> 0:27:39.679
<v Speaker 2>but that you really found that you just fell in

0:27:39.720 --> 0:27:42.119
<v Speaker 2>love with it, and that it became a part of you.

0:27:42.880 --> 0:27:46.480
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to say Holly Gibney in The Outsider, although

0:27:46.920 --> 0:27:52.719
<v Speaker 1>that did pretty well, That did pretty well. I've loved

0:27:52.760 --> 0:27:55.680
<v Speaker 1>the roles that I've played, and I've picked I picked

0:27:55.720 --> 0:27:59.120
<v Speaker 1>them really specifically because I want to get to know

0:27:59.320 --> 0:28:02.080
<v Speaker 1>this person. And you know, if I always say this,

0:28:02.119 --> 0:28:04.560
<v Speaker 1>if I if I haven't met this person before, either

0:28:04.640 --> 0:28:07.240
<v Speaker 1>on screen or in life, I'd like to meet them.

0:28:07.520 --> 0:28:10.520
<v Speaker 1>So I that's why I play them. I want to

0:28:10.520 --> 0:28:12.480
<v Speaker 1>get to know who they are and what makes them tick.

0:28:12.720 --> 0:28:16.639
<v Speaker 1>And Holly was just so different. She just she was

0:28:16.760 --> 0:28:22.520
<v Speaker 1>very hard to shake. She was a woman who found

0:28:22.520 --> 0:28:27.399
<v Speaker 1>it hard to communicate, but really all she wanted was

0:28:27.480 --> 0:28:33.800
<v Speaker 1>connection and so had to learn to find ways to

0:28:33.920 --> 0:28:38.000
<v Speaker 1>make herself understood and when she was misunderstood would be

0:28:38.040 --> 0:28:43.040
<v Speaker 1>deeply hurt by it. Extremely intelligent, a brilliant, brilliant mind,

0:28:43.560 --> 0:28:47.440
<v Speaker 1>but also deeply loving in the most individual way. And

0:28:47.480 --> 0:28:50.520
<v Speaker 1>I just had never played anyone like her before I had.

0:28:50.960 --> 0:28:55.400
<v Speaker 1>And what's wonderful about that particular role is I get

0:28:55.520 --> 0:28:59.680
<v Speaker 1>everyone from every different type of walk of life in

0:28:59.720 --> 0:29:02.280
<v Speaker 1>any place, sort of going that show that you did

0:29:02.320 --> 0:29:07.000
<v Speaker 1>on HBO with Holly given that I loved it, she

0:29:07.160 --> 0:29:09.840
<v Speaker 1>was one of my favorites. Or remember a person said

0:29:09.880 --> 0:29:15.080
<v Speaker 1>to me he was connecting with his system more because

0:29:15.240 --> 0:29:18.480
<v Speaker 1>of this particular role and realize that, oh, my sister

0:29:18.560 --> 0:29:22.240
<v Speaker 1>just communicates in a different way than I do. And

0:29:22.280 --> 0:29:24.880
<v Speaker 1>this was the thing that joined us together. And I thought,

0:29:24.920 --> 0:29:29.160
<v Speaker 1>that's what it's about, making pieces that allow people to

0:29:29.200 --> 0:29:30.200
<v Speaker 1>connect with each other.

0:29:30.400 --> 0:29:32.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you know, Yeah, that's beautiful. I love hearing that

0:29:32.920 --> 0:29:35.440
<v Speaker 2>as well because it's and it's what I appreciate about

0:29:35.440 --> 0:29:37.480
<v Speaker 2>our conversation last time. As I was saying earlier, it

0:29:37.560 --> 0:29:40.840
<v Speaker 2>was like the way you think about characters and the

0:29:40.880 --> 0:29:43.440
<v Speaker 2>way you get into them. I'm fascinated by that, and

0:29:43.480 --> 0:29:46.760
<v Speaker 2>I love geeking out and like I love seeing people

0:29:46.840 --> 0:29:49.960
<v Speaker 2>obsessed with their art, Like that's what gets me excited

0:29:50.000 --> 0:29:52.440
<v Speaker 2>in life. It's like when I meet someone who's obsessed

0:29:52.480 --> 0:29:54.560
<v Speaker 2>about what they do, because I'm obsessed with what I

0:29:54.600 --> 0:29:57.840
<v Speaker 2>do and I can never understand how you obsess over

0:29:57.880 --> 0:30:00.280
<v Speaker 2>the things you do. Can you describe to me again,

0:30:00.320 --> 0:30:01.960
<v Speaker 2>because you told me about this last time, but I

0:30:02.040 --> 0:30:04.240
<v Speaker 2>want to hear it again. For on purpose for this community,

0:30:04.280 --> 0:30:06.560
<v Speaker 2>because you were talking about how like when you're playing

0:30:06.640 --> 0:30:08.800
<v Speaker 2>roles you look at how people walk, Oh yeah, And

0:30:09.280 --> 0:30:11.240
<v Speaker 2>I was like, and how they talk to figure out

0:30:11.240 --> 0:30:13.720
<v Speaker 2>their pitch and then like the rhythm of their walk

0:30:13.720 --> 0:30:16.440
<v Speaker 2>and the pacer, And I was just like, I would

0:30:16.480 --> 0:30:18.360
<v Speaker 2>never think of any of that, But because it tells

0:30:18.400 --> 0:30:21.640
<v Speaker 2>you so much, walk us through when you meet a

0:30:21.680 --> 0:30:24.800
<v Speaker 2>new character, walk us through how you understand them. Yeah.

0:30:24.840 --> 0:30:27.160
<v Speaker 1>So when I meet a new character up here, I'll

0:30:27.200 --> 0:30:28.840
<v Speaker 1>read a scripts and the first thing I think of,

0:30:29.080 --> 0:30:31.840
<v Speaker 1>what is the rhythm of this person? Usually there's a

0:30:31.920 --> 0:30:34.720
<v Speaker 1>rhythm sort of written in in the way they speak,

0:30:34.800 --> 0:30:37.360
<v Speaker 1>in the way that in their syntax and the words

0:30:37.400 --> 0:30:40.120
<v Speaker 1>they use. When you find that rhythm, you sort of

0:30:40.120 --> 0:30:43.160
<v Speaker 1>find their internal like heartbeat, You find their heartbeat. And

0:30:43.200 --> 0:30:44.800
<v Speaker 1>then I'm sort of like, well, how do they move?

0:30:45.360 --> 0:30:47.200
<v Speaker 1>What is it that they're looking for? Is there an

0:30:47.360 --> 0:30:50.760
<v Speaker 1>urgency to how they move? If they walk fast, are

0:30:50.760 --> 0:30:53.640
<v Speaker 1>they moving away from something? Are they trying to get

0:30:53.680 --> 0:30:56.560
<v Speaker 1>to something quickly? Do they think fast or if they

0:30:56.600 --> 0:30:59.840
<v Speaker 1>move slowly? Are they apprehensive about something or are they

0:30:59.840 --> 0:31:02.520
<v Speaker 1>really laid back about things? Do they have nothing to

0:31:02.560 --> 0:31:07.479
<v Speaker 1>worry about? If they're anxious. Maybe that's why they move fast,

0:31:07.640 --> 0:31:10.200
<v Speaker 1>or maybe it's the opposite. Maybe they're so anxious that

0:31:10.240 --> 0:31:13.000
<v Speaker 1>they are paralyzed that they can't move at all, So

0:31:13.040 --> 0:31:15.520
<v Speaker 1>they move really slowly because what if I get there

0:31:15.520 --> 0:31:18.080
<v Speaker 1>and something happens? And so I just sort of like

0:31:18.560 --> 0:31:22.640
<v Speaker 1>find what fits on this person. And then it's about, well,

0:31:22.640 --> 0:31:27.160
<v Speaker 1>how do they speak if they are confident, Well, maybe

0:31:27.160 --> 0:31:29.640
<v Speaker 1>they don't need to make themselves sound really sweet, and

0:31:29.680 --> 0:31:34.240
<v Speaker 1>so their voices aren't as high pitch, or maybe they

0:31:34.280 --> 0:31:36.480
<v Speaker 1>are sort of held, and so they're a little bit

0:31:36.560 --> 0:31:40.200
<v Speaker 1>quiet and things feel a little bit whispered. And there's

0:31:40.240 --> 0:31:44.880
<v Speaker 1>a really interesting documentary about Princess Diana and I she's

0:31:44.960 --> 0:31:48.920
<v Speaker 1>really fun to listen to because her voice changes as

0:31:48.960 --> 0:31:51.680
<v Speaker 1>the years go by. When you first meet her, it's

0:31:51.680 --> 0:31:55.080
<v Speaker 1>almost like she's whispering and swallowing the words, and she

0:31:55.080 --> 0:31:57.200
<v Speaker 1>doesn't really use her mouth very much, and it's very

0:31:57.280 --> 0:32:01.200
<v Speaker 1>quiet and very reserved. And as you meet her as

0:32:01.200 --> 0:32:03.480
<v Speaker 1>the years go by, when she's sort of like, now

0:32:03.520 --> 0:32:05.760
<v Speaker 1>I know who I am, she starts to use her

0:32:05.800 --> 0:32:10.200
<v Speaker 1>mouth more. So she sounds really rounded. And that's sort

0:32:10.200 --> 0:32:13.120
<v Speaker 1>of what you're discovering about these people. And I love that.

0:32:13.320 --> 0:32:16.080
<v Speaker 1>I love trying to find out what is this person?

0:32:16.880 --> 0:32:20.280
<v Speaker 1>How do they grow? And do they grow through through

0:32:20.320 --> 0:32:23.600
<v Speaker 1>meeting them and through these episodes through the film. Does

0:32:23.640 --> 0:32:27.000
<v Speaker 1>it change? Does it shift? Do they move more confidently?

0:32:27.200 --> 0:32:31.320
<v Speaker 1>Do they move more smoothly? Are they quick? Are they darted?

0:32:32.440 --> 0:32:35.720
<v Speaker 1>So many questions I would ask myself, and then silly

0:32:35.760 --> 0:32:39.880
<v Speaker 1>things like what scent do they use? Because we all

0:32:39.920 --> 0:32:43.480
<v Speaker 1>have sense memory, So if there's a particular scent they use,

0:32:43.840 --> 0:32:46.480
<v Speaker 1>is it because it reminds them of something? And when

0:32:46.920 --> 0:32:48.840
<v Speaker 1>I put that scent on, does it make me think

0:32:48.880 --> 0:32:52.680
<v Speaker 1>of something? Or do they like makeup? And if they

0:32:52.720 --> 0:32:54.960
<v Speaker 1>do like makeup, is there a particular way they do it?

0:32:55.200 --> 0:32:57.840
<v Speaker 1>Do they want their eyebrows messy or do they want

0:32:57.840 --> 0:33:00.400
<v Speaker 1>them very tidy? When they put the clothes on, are

0:33:00.440 --> 0:33:03.200
<v Speaker 1>they looking for comfort or not? With Holly, I always

0:33:03.200 --> 0:33:06.280
<v Speaker 1>wore a button up because it felt like protection. Her

0:33:06.280 --> 0:33:10.360
<v Speaker 1>neck was covered, and she was wore comfortable shoes so

0:33:10.360 --> 0:33:13.280
<v Speaker 1>she could move easily and she wouldn't think about her feet.

0:33:13.480 --> 0:33:17.400
<v Speaker 1>But those things are you know, they change. With Aretha,

0:33:17.520 --> 0:33:20.640
<v Speaker 1>she needed heels and she needed a look and she

0:33:20.680 --> 0:33:24.080
<v Speaker 1>did her eyebrows particularly, and they were a particular shape

0:33:24.080 --> 0:33:27.920
<v Speaker 1>with an inky black line, you know. And with Seay

0:33:28.440 --> 0:33:31.280
<v Speaker 1>it changed when she put trousers on. She could walk better,

0:33:31.280 --> 0:33:34.080
<v Speaker 1>and she had a heel, a thick, blocky heel that

0:33:34.160 --> 0:33:36.880
<v Speaker 1>meant that she could like make sound when she moved.

0:33:37.160 --> 0:33:40.640
<v Speaker 1>Before then she was in a shorter heel with that

0:33:40.760 --> 0:33:43.480
<v Speaker 1>was like a soft shoe that made no sound at all.

0:33:43.600 --> 0:33:45.960
<v Speaker 1>So it meant that she could move really quickly because

0:33:46.280 --> 0:33:48.800
<v Speaker 1>if she didn't move quickly, she'd be in danger. So

0:33:48.800 --> 0:33:51.840
<v Speaker 1>it's about that how do you find all the things

0:33:51.880 --> 0:33:54.920
<v Speaker 1>that make this person around person so that when you

0:33:55.480 --> 0:33:58.400
<v Speaker 1>when you meet them on screen, you're like, oh, I

0:33:58.440 --> 0:34:02.680
<v Speaker 1>can see this person and their three dimensional, four dimensional

0:34:03.520 --> 0:34:05.760
<v Speaker 1>and not just someone that I read a script on.

0:34:06.200 --> 0:34:10.960
<v Speaker 2>Where did that ability and skill come from? Because obviously

0:34:10.960 --> 0:34:12.560
<v Speaker 2>it can be seen as a technique, but when you

0:34:12.640 --> 0:34:15.160
<v Speaker 2>talk about it, it's not a technique. It's something that

0:34:15.280 --> 0:34:16.880
<v Speaker 2>you know. It's it's not just like, oh, you've read

0:34:16.920 --> 0:34:19.439
<v Speaker 2>that in a book and yeah, it's it's how you

0:34:19.560 --> 0:34:22.319
<v Speaker 2>think and how you feel and how you empathize with

0:34:22.360 --> 0:34:24.759
<v Speaker 2>this person. Even when you were talking about Diana, there's

0:34:24.760 --> 0:34:27.560
<v Speaker 2>someone obviously who've not played. It's like, but you're watching

0:34:27.640 --> 0:34:30.759
<v Speaker 2>that and you're you're able to observe that where did

0:34:30.800 --> 0:34:32.920
<v Speaker 2>that skill come from? How did it develop? Do you remember,

0:34:33.040 --> 0:34:35.239
<v Speaker 2>like where when did you start? Did you start doing

0:34:35.280 --> 0:34:36.879
<v Speaker 2>that when you watch TV when you were a kid,

0:34:37.040 --> 0:34:39.799
<v Speaker 2>or did you you know where? Yeah, where did it

0:34:39.800 --> 0:34:40.280
<v Speaker 2>come from?

0:34:40.280 --> 0:34:42.800
<v Speaker 1>Not even sure when it started. I think I've always

0:34:42.800 --> 0:34:46.640
<v Speaker 1>been a people watcher. I think I've always observed how

0:34:46.680 --> 0:34:49.879
<v Speaker 1>people move, how people are, so that I can better

0:34:49.920 --> 0:34:53.560
<v Speaker 1>communicate with them myself. I haven't always been perfect, but

0:34:53.719 --> 0:34:57.160
<v Speaker 1>like that seems to be my sort of cheat code

0:34:57.239 --> 0:35:03.000
<v Speaker 1>to knowing what a person needs from me in conversation.

0:35:03.560 --> 0:35:07.399
<v Speaker 1>I sometimes watch people's lips to make sure that I'm

0:35:07.440 --> 0:35:13.239
<v Speaker 1>really listening, you know, or watch their eyes, because those

0:35:13.320 --> 0:35:17.120
<v Speaker 1>are the places that give you what the emotional life

0:35:17.160 --> 0:35:19.759
<v Speaker 1>of a person is. And I think I've always just

0:35:20.360 --> 0:35:23.440
<v Speaker 1>applied that to my everyday life. And then when I

0:35:23.480 --> 0:35:26.400
<v Speaker 1>went to drama school, I was he learning about actioning

0:35:26.480 --> 0:35:28.520
<v Speaker 1>and making sure that there is a reason for something

0:35:28.600 --> 0:35:31.040
<v Speaker 1>and what is the reason for the thing you're saying.

0:35:31.440 --> 0:35:34.200
<v Speaker 1>What we say is fifty percent of what we mean.

0:35:35.080 --> 0:35:39.600
<v Speaker 1>Often how we say it, and what we're thinking as

0:35:39.600 --> 0:35:41.680
<v Speaker 1>we say it. The words and aren't necessarily the thing

0:35:41.680 --> 0:35:44.840
<v Speaker 1>that we're thinking they're just a representation of how we're feeling.

0:35:44.840 --> 0:35:48.120
<v Speaker 1>And until you know, when we're not afraid, the words

0:35:48.200 --> 0:35:51.440
<v Speaker 1>are the thing that we're thinking. But often with people,

0:35:51.480 --> 0:35:53.239
<v Speaker 1>when we're saying the thing that we think, the other

0:35:53.280 --> 0:35:56.680
<v Speaker 1>person wishes to hear as opposed to what we want

0:35:56.800 --> 0:36:02.360
<v Speaker 1>to say. And so I learn about that in drama

0:36:02.400 --> 0:36:05.520
<v Speaker 1>school and then just applied it to the bigger, you know,

0:36:05.840 --> 0:36:08.960
<v Speaker 1>space of my life. And then I you know, as

0:36:09.000 --> 0:36:12.640
<v Speaker 1>you get older, you start to want to connect with people,

0:36:13.440 --> 0:36:18.480
<v Speaker 1>and that desire to connect properly with people, I think

0:36:18.600 --> 0:36:21.600
<v Speaker 1>just feeds into my work. I want people to connect

0:36:21.640 --> 0:36:25.640
<v Speaker 1>with the people I get to play, and I call

0:36:25.680 --> 0:36:28.640
<v Speaker 1>them people because I don't see them as just characters.

0:36:29.200 --> 0:36:32.439
<v Speaker 1>When you see the people you're playing, or what people

0:36:32.480 --> 0:36:37.160
<v Speaker 1>would know as characters, as whole and realized people, you

0:36:37.239 --> 0:36:39.520
<v Speaker 1>get to know them better, which means you get to

0:36:39.600 --> 0:36:44.600
<v Speaker 1>give another person, introduce a person to everybody watching, and

0:36:44.680 --> 0:36:48.200
<v Speaker 1>so they get to connect and feel as though these

0:36:48.280 --> 0:36:50.759
<v Speaker 1>are real people out in the world that I might

0:36:50.800 --> 0:36:55.560
<v Speaker 1>not come in contact with, but they exist, and I

0:36:55.600 --> 0:36:58.960
<v Speaker 1>want that for the people that I play. That's the

0:36:59.040 --> 0:37:02.280
<v Speaker 1>desire for connect consistently with my characters.

0:37:02.360 --> 0:37:05.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, do you do you feel that sometimes? And I

0:37:06.600 --> 0:37:09.040
<v Speaker 2>coach a lot of people who act and stuff, not

0:37:09.080 --> 0:37:14.120
<v Speaker 2>in acting obviously in life and work, but how do

0:37:14.200 --> 0:37:17.480
<v Speaker 2>you often feel as well that sometimes those people become

0:37:17.520 --> 0:37:20.319
<v Speaker 2>a part of you and that do do you try

0:37:20.320 --> 0:37:22.279
<v Speaker 2>and shed them? Do you try hold onto them? Like?

0:37:22.320 --> 0:37:24.440
<v Speaker 2>Do you do you like that? Like? Because I don't

0:37:24.480 --> 0:37:27.080
<v Speaker 2>think that's talked about enough. I think we hear about

0:37:27.080 --> 0:37:29.640
<v Speaker 2>in the extreme sense, is a method acting gone wrong

0:37:29.840 --> 0:37:32.600
<v Speaker 2>or like when it leads to like, you know, the

0:37:32.680 --> 0:37:35.160
<v Speaker 2>tragic event of someone taking their own life, and we

0:37:35.160 --> 0:37:37.560
<v Speaker 2>hear about and there's very extreme, but I don't think

0:37:37.560 --> 0:37:41.080
<v Speaker 2>we talk about it enough with actors who are you know,

0:37:41.239 --> 0:37:43.680
<v Speaker 2>going about their day taking on new roles, and like

0:37:43.840 --> 0:37:47.440
<v Speaker 2>how long it takes to become someone and then lose someone?

0:37:47.520 --> 0:37:49.760
<v Speaker 2>And you know, like right now, everyone saying Austin Butler

0:37:49.840 --> 0:37:52.640
<v Speaker 2>sounds like Elvis in every interview, And the thing is.

0:37:52.640 --> 0:37:55.439
<v Speaker 1>I feel for him because I know that that he's

0:37:55.440 --> 0:37:58.240
<v Speaker 1>not putting that on. Yeah, of course not it happens,

0:37:59.440 --> 0:38:02.319
<v Speaker 1>and it's very different for every single person. But for me,

0:38:03.200 --> 0:38:07.560
<v Speaker 1>it takes a while to lose a character because if

0:38:07.600 --> 0:38:10.320
<v Speaker 1>you've done your job correctly, they weren't just a character.

0:38:10.719 --> 0:38:12.760
<v Speaker 1>They were a part of you. You had to infuse

0:38:12.880 --> 0:38:17.239
<v Speaker 1>this person with some of you, and they have to

0:38:17.280 --> 0:38:20.760
<v Speaker 1>come from you. They're in your body. They use your voice,

0:38:20.920 --> 0:38:23.919
<v Speaker 1>they use your face, they use your mannerisms. You create

0:38:24.000 --> 0:38:26.719
<v Speaker 1>them together. They take up space within you. They take

0:38:26.800 --> 0:38:28.640
<v Speaker 1>up a little bit of your heart because you have

0:38:28.680 --> 0:38:30.799
<v Speaker 1>to mean in the things you're saying. And when you

0:38:30.920 --> 0:38:35.200
<v Speaker 1>finish the role, usually after a couple of months, three months,

0:38:35.200 --> 0:38:38.479
<v Speaker 1>sometimes six, I'm about to play a character for a year.

0:38:39.080 --> 0:38:43.040
<v Speaker 1>They are a part of you. And what people don't

0:38:43.080 --> 0:38:48.800
<v Speaker 1>realize is your body doesn't realize that it's not real.

0:38:49.440 --> 0:38:53.960
<v Speaker 1>It thinks that this thing happening is you. It's real.

0:38:54.680 --> 0:38:58.279
<v Speaker 1>So you have to at the end of it, let

0:38:58.320 --> 0:39:01.359
<v Speaker 1>your body know that it's okay to let this thing go.

0:39:01.960 --> 0:39:04.760
<v Speaker 1>But it's going to take a while because you've learned

0:39:04.960 --> 0:39:07.080
<v Speaker 1>to teach your body to do it. Quickly, get to

0:39:07.120 --> 0:39:11.239
<v Speaker 1>that person, Quickly, remove the thing that you know is

0:39:11.320 --> 0:39:14.040
<v Speaker 1>your everyday life, and get to the person that you're

0:39:14.080 --> 0:39:19.440
<v Speaker 1>playing every day quickly. That's what you want, the quicker access.

0:39:20.040 --> 0:39:22.640
<v Speaker 1>So now the access is really quick and to the

0:39:22.680 --> 0:39:25.000
<v Speaker 1>point where, well, now you don't really have to think

0:39:25.040 --> 0:39:28.279
<v Speaker 1>about getting into the role because you're already there. You

0:39:28.320 --> 0:39:29.759
<v Speaker 1>wake up in the morning, you know, oh, I'm going

0:39:29.800 --> 0:39:31.040
<v Speaker 1>to put this on and this is and there we go.

0:39:31.080 --> 0:39:32.960
<v Speaker 1>Do you look at your mirror and I'm here. There

0:39:33.000 --> 0:39:36.239
<v Speaker 1>we go. Hi, nice to meet you. And at the

0:39:36.440 --> 0:39:40.440
<v Speaker 1>end of a project, it takes some time. Some projects

0:39:40.440 --> 0:39:43.320
<v Speaker 1>are easier, like getting out of the Blue Faery very easy.

0:39:43.440 --> 0:39:45.120
<v Speaker 1>I didn't have to shoot for very long, so it's

0:39:45.200 --> 0:39:48.040
<v Speaker 1>lovely and I know it's fantasy and it didn't cost

0:39:48.160 --> 0:39:52.200
<v Speaker 1>me too much. Getting out of Aretha, getting out of Harriet,

0:39:52.600 --> 0:39:56.040
<v Speaker 1>getting out of Holly very different things because I was

0:39:56.040 --> 0:39:59.520
<v Speaker 1>there for months with these people. Holly was hilarious because

0:39:59.520 --> 0:40:02.520
<v Speaker 1>she had a to her walk was very different. Someone

0:40:02.640 --> 0:40:06.040
<v Speaker 1>sent me a video of me walking about on set

0:40:06.400 --> 0:40:09.600
<v Speaker 1>and I was like, that is not me. That's not me.

0:40:10.440 --> 0:40:14.080
<v Speaker 1>Posture was different, warp was different. Wait, the way I

0:40:14.120 --> 0:40:18.000
<v Speaker 1>moved my head was different. The way I spoke to people,

0:40:18.120 --> 0:40:21.120
<v Speaker 1>and even my hair and makeup team were sort of

0:40:21.160 --> 0:40:23.839
<v Speaker 1>like you would come into trailer and it was not you.

0:40:24.600 --> 0:40:27.440
<v Speaker 1>That's not who we met. We met Holly most of

0:40:27.480 --> 0:40:29.560
<v Speaker 1>the time, and it would take a while to let

0:40:29.640 --> 0:40:32.520
<v Speaker 1>them go. The person I just played. Her name's Jacqueline.

0:40:33.120 --> 0:40:38.320
<v Speaker 1>I spent three four months with her, and I still

0:40:38.360 --> 0:40:41.880
<v Speaker 1>remember everything she went through as though it was me.

0:40:42.719 --> 0:40:46.319
<v Speaker 1>And it takes time. If you mean it, it will

0:40:46.320 --> 0:40:46.839
<v Speaker 1>take time.

0:40:47.320 --> 0:40:47.640
<v Speaker 2>Support.

0:40:47.680 --> 0:40:51.760
<v Speaker 1>Austin Butler is walking around with this accent because I imagine

0:40:51.560 --> 0:40:54.719
<v Speaker 1>he shot this film for six months to a year,

0:40:55.440 --> 0:40:59.640
<v Speaker 1>so had to learn this sound. And when you learn

0:40:59.640 --> 0:41:03.719
<v Speaker 1>an it doesn't just leave you. You know, he may

0:41:03.760 --> 0:41:07.040
<v Speaker 1>slip into it just Biax not even thinking about it,

0:41:07.480 --> 0:41:10.400
<v Speaker 1>because that's the person he played. He paid, he played

0:41:10.560 --> 0:41:16.000
<v Speaker 1>a person that existed for six to nine months or

0:41:16.000 --> 0:41:20.200
<v Speaker 1>something and prepare and prepared it before then and then

0:41:20.400 --> 0:41:24.880
<v Speaker 1>rehearsed it and then sang the songs like well, he

0:41:25.719 --> 0:41:29.759
<v Speaker 1>put a voice on top of his own. That's not

0:41:29.800 --> 0:41:33.200
<v Speaker 1>going to go because the film is over. There's no

0:41:33.280 --> 0:41:33.719
<v Speaker 1>way it can.

0:41:34.080 --> 0:41:36.759
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, how does that affect your relationships during that time?

0:41:36.840 --> 0:41:38.879
<v Speaker 2>Like I wonder, how does that affect your personal life?

0:41:38.920 --> 0:41:42.000
<v Speaker 2>Because because like you're saying, it's not as easy as

0:41:42.040 --> 0:41:43.960
<v Speaker 2>like on off, on off. You know, it's not like

0:41:43.960 --> 0:41:46.920
<v Speaker 2>there's a switch. Yeah, how does that affect like your.

0:41:46.760 --> 0:41:49.720
<v Speaker 1>Friend it's always easy, but if you have people around

0:41:49.760 --> 0:41:53.879
<v Speaker 1>you that are understanding of the job you're doing, there's

0:41:53.960 --> 0:41:57.960
<v Speaker 1>just patient with you. I have been savvy enough to

0:41:58.000 --> 0:42:01.440
<v Speaker 1>get myself a really good therapist so I can talk

0:42:01.760 --> 0:42:04.839
<v Speaker 1>about it. Talking about it really helps to let go

0:42:04.920 --> 0:42:09.120
<v Speaker 1>of it because you can find the separation between yourself

0:42:09.200 --> 0:42:11.839
<v Speaker 1>and the person you are playing. The more you talk

0:42:11.880 --> 0:42:14.680
<v Speaker 1>about it, the less it's you, and the more you

0:42:15.080 --> 0:42:17.560
<v Speaker 1>let them go. The more you allow your body the

0:42:17.640 --> 0:42:21.600
<v Speaker 1>permission to let go of something which is a life lesson,

0:42:21.719 --> 0:42:24.120
<v Speaker 1>not just an acting lesson, the easier it becomes to

0:42:24.200 --> 0:42:24.680
<v Speaker 1>let it go.

0:42:25.120 --> 0:42:27.239
<v Speaker 2>What was your reason for going to therapy? Was that?

0:42:27.280 --> 0:42:29.160
<v Speaker 2>The reason was that part of it? Or yes?

0:42:29.920 --> 0:42:34.680
<v Speaker 1>That and just like life things things you know, I

0:42:35.040 --> 0:42:39.279
<v Speaker 1>my mum raised me, my father wasn't around, and those

0:42:39.520 --> 0:42:44.480
<v Speaker 1>we don't realize that that sticks to the bones of

0:42:44.520 --> 0:42:46.359
<v Speaker 1>a person. You don't realize it because it comes out

0:42:46.400 --> 0:42:50.760
<v Speaker 1>in different ways. And I just wanted to be freer

0:42:50.880 --> 0:42:54.800
<v Speaker 1>of that. So I wanted to give myself more access

0:42:55.719 --> 0:43:00.000
<v Speaker 1>to the fully emotional parts of myself. And in order

0:43:00.120 --> 0:43:02.640
<v Speaker 1>to do that, I had to let go of any

0:43:02.800 --> 0:43:07.920
<v Speaker 1>resentment or any upset. And it doesn't go overnight, but

0:43:08.120 --> 0:43:12.440
<v Speaker 1>it helps to create space. I wanted to be just

0:43:12.600 --> 0:43:17.360
<v Speaker 1>better at understanding relationships I have in general, where I

0:43:17.400 --> 0:43:24.520
<v Speaker 1>am mistaking something for hurt as opposed to if I'm

0:43:24.520 --> 0:43:28.799
<v Speaker 1>thinking someone is being mean, I need to know what

0:43:28.840 --> 0:43:31.960
<v Speaker 1>are they going through? Also because it might not be vindictive,

0:43:32.000 --> 0:43:34.880
<v Speaker 1>it might not be a mean thing. It might just

0:43:34.920 --> 0:43:38.120
<v Speaker 1>be that they are also hurting. But is what in

0:43:38.200 --> 0:43:41.960
<v Speaker 1>me is seeing their hurt as mean? Am I hurting

0:43:42.000 --> 0:43:45.759
<v Speaker 1>in a place? So it's just finding better ways to

0:43:45.800 --> 0:43:49.359
<v Speaker 1>communicate with people. Therapies really helped me with that, Like

0:43:49.680 --> 0:43:52.480
<v Speaker 1>how do I want to communicate best with people? How

0:43:52.520 --> 0:43:54.920
<v Speaker 1>can I show up as my best self? And that's

0:43:54.960 --> 0:43:59.239
<v Speaker 1>not always to lay the groundwork for really great communication.

0:43:59.560 --> 0:44:01.920
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think that's a really beautiful way. I've never

0:44:01.960 --> 0:44:05.040
<v Speaker 2>heard it described like that. Yeah, I actually think that's

0:44:05.040 --> 0:44:08.839
<v Speaker 2>a really refreshing description because it's almost like, I think

0:44:08.880 --> 0:44:15.319
<v Speaker 2>we literally run from conflict here, yes, unease here, discomfort yeah,

0:44:15.360 --> 0:44:19.080
<v Speaker 2>And it's like personally, professionally, family, whatever it may be,

0:44:19.120 --> 0:44:21.719
<v Speaker 2>and you're just you're running from discomfort to discomfort to

0:44:21.719 --> 0:44:23.719
<v Speaker 2>discompany and you never had time to think about it. Yeah,

0:44:23.760 --> 0:44:26.000
<v Speaker 2>you never had time to prepare. Yeah, you never had

0:44:26.000 --> 0:44:28.880
<v Speaker 2>time to debrief, Like you know, you may do that

0:44:29.080 --> 0:44:32.120
<v Speaker 2>at work, but when do you debrief personally after an

0:44:32.200 --> 0:44:37.120
<v Speaker 2>altercation with someone and therapy or coaching or the ability

0:44:37.120 --> 0:44:39.640
<v Speaker 2>to talk to someone in your life, like you get

0:44:39.680 --> 0:44:42.359
<v Speaker 2>to start going, oh, well, I've actually thought about this, right,

0:44:42.440 --> 0:44:45.000
<v Speaker 2>and here's how I feel about it, rather than I'm

0:44:45.040 --> 0:44:47.120
<v Speaker 2>just feeling, I'm just feeling. I'm just feeling.

0:44:47.480 --> 0:44:50.839
<v Speaker 1>And also those feelings end up being exacerbated because you're

0:44:50.920 --> 0:44:54.160
<v Speaker 1>just talking to yourself. Yes, you can't really process something

0:44:54.160 --> 0:44:58.480
<v Speaker 1>if you're just talking to yourself. You need ears that

0:44:58.880 --> 0:45:02.399
<v Speaker 1>can say, well, well, I know that you're feeling that,

0:45:02.840 --> 0:45:06.160
<v Speaker 1>but here's what I'm hearing as you say this to me.

0:45:07.040 --> 0:45:11.040
<v Speaker 1>That has been a wonderful game changer. When the words

0:45:11.040 --> 0:45:13.879
<v Speaker 1>that you're saying are not actually the thing that you

0:45:13.920 --> 0:45:16.759
<v Speaker 1>are saying. Yeah, that's not what you're feeling. The thing

0:45:16.800 --> 0:45:17.879
<v Speaker 1>you're saying is not the thing.

0:45:18.040 --> 0:45:21.040
<v Speaker 2>Yes, yes, And that's what we all struggle with, is

0:45:21.080 --> 0:45:24.640
<v Speaker 2>that we are This misalignment between what we're thinking and

0:45:24.719 --> 0:45:30.279
<v Speaker 2>saying and feeling is so much more widespread than we think. Yeah, yeah, Well,

0:45:30.480 --> 0:45:34.040
<v Speaker 2>what's a belief that you think that you held once

0:45:34.080 --> 0:45:37.080
<v Speaker 2>about yourself that led you down a scary path or

0:45:37.120 --> 0:45:39.240
<v Speaker 2>a wrong path? Is there a belief or a value

0:45:39.320 --> 0:45:41.640
<v Speaker 2>or an idea you held about yourself that you think

0:45:41.680 --> 0:45:43.840
<v Speaker 2>didn't take you in a great direction.

0:45:44.200 --> 0:45:46.000
<v Speaker 1>I don't know that there is anything like that. I

0:45:46.040 --> 0:45:49.440
<v Speaker 1>think just little things that come up. Sometimes you question

0:45:49.520 --> 0:45:52.759
<v Speaker 1>whether you're good enough for something. We all suffer from

0:45:52.760 --> 0:45:55.719
<v Speaker 1>that in a little way, and some you know more

0:45:55.760 --> 0:46:00.880
<v Speaker 1>than others, varying degrees. And when you're younger if feels huge,

0:46:01.440 --> 0:46:05.680
<v Speaker 1>and then as I've gotten older, it creeps it in occasionally,

0:46:05.680 --> 0:46:10.000
<v Speaker 1>and then I sort of I allow myself to know

0:46:10.200 --> 0:46:13.239
<v Speaker 1>that what is supposed to be for you will come

0:46:13.280 --> 0:46:15.799
<v Speaker 1>to you, and if it wasn't meant to come to you,

0:46:16.000 --> 0:46:20.719
<v Speaker 1>it won't. You are good enough full start, if you're

0:46:20.760 --> 0:46:24.400
<v Speaker 1>doing the work to be a good person, to prepare

0:46:24.480 --> 0:46:27.160
<v Speaker 1>for the work that you want. If I spend the time,

0:46:27.239 --> 0:46:31.200
<v Speaker 1>you know, running every day. No, it is a holistic

0:46:31.239 --> 0:46:34.560
<v Speaker 1>thing that I give myself. My therapist said to me,

0:46:35.320 --> 0:46:39.080
<v Speaker 1>when you do something, or you eat something, or you

0:46:39.160 --> 0:46:44.520
<v Speaker 1>buy something or drink something, ask yourself, are you loving

0:46:44.520 --> 0:46:48.040
<v Speaker 1>yourself when you do that? And if the answer is yes,

0:46:48.480 --> 0:46:51.120
<v Speaker 1>well then you've done a good job. And if the

0:46:51.160 --> 0:46:56.080
<v Speaker 1>answer is maybe not, to something different. If your life

0:46:56.120 --> 0:47:00.840
<v Speaker 1>is a series of things that you know are goodness

0:47:01.680 --> 0:47:04.040
<v Speaker 1>you and they are a series of things that are

0:47:04.880 --> 0:47:07.920
<v Speaker 1>what is known as loving yourself. Then you are good enough,

0:47:08.719 --> 0:47:12.040
<v Speaker 1>and all you're doing is prepping yourself for whatever is

0:47:12.080 --> 0:47:15.920
<v Speaker 1>supposed to come to you. Every time I've gone I

0:47:15.960 --> 0:47:17.680
<v Speaker 1>wanted to do that, and it doesn't come my way.

0:47:18.280 --> 0:47:23.680
<v Speaker 1>Every time something else comes up and I go, oh,

0:47:23.960 --> 0:47:26.600
<v Speaker 1>got it, I know I wasn't supposed to do that,

0:47:26.880 --> 0:47:30.440
<v Speaker 1>because that thing came and that thing is awesome, so

0:47:30.480 --> 0:47:33.319
<v Speaker 1>I want to do that thing. Thank you, Universe, Thank

0:47:33.360 --> 0:47:36.440
<v Speaker 1>you God for taking that out. The way I always

0:47:36.440 --> 0:47:39.640
<v Speaker 1>say to people, every no is just room for a yes.

0:47:40.480 --> 0:47:42.759
<v Speaker 1>Every no is just room for the thing that is

0:47:42.760 --> 0:47:45.239
<v Speaker 1>supposed to happen. You're making room for the yes that's

0:47:45.239 --> 0:47:46.120
<v Speaker 1>supposed to be there.

0:47:46.760 --> 0:47:50.640
<v Speaker 2>I loved your response to that imposter syndrome as we

0:47:50.760 --> 0:47:53.200
<v Speaker 2>call it today, that you felt that the idea that

0:47:53.239 --> 0:47:56.160
<v Speaker 2>anything that comes to you is meant to come to you. Yeah.

0:47:56.200 --> 0:47:59.000
<v Speaker 2>So even if you feel that way, and I feel

0:47:59.000 --> 0:48:01.439
<v Speaker 2>that way often sprints and posters in them. All the time.

0:48:01.440 --> 0:48:04.120
<v Speaker 2>I get to do incredible things that I could never

0:48:04.200 --> 0:48:07.160
<v Speaker 2>have even imagined. You're dreamt of doing, and then this

0:48:07.239 --> 0:48:12.480
<v Speaker 2>opportunity comes your way, and you're scared before you prepare.

0:48:12.760 --> 0:48:15.040
<v Speaker 1>You're scared before you even get there, and you haven't

0:48:15.080 --> 0:48:17.319
<v Speaker 1>and you haven't experienced it yet, so you have no

0:48:17.400 --> 0:48:19.440
<v Speaker 1>idea what you're stepping into yet. You just know it's

0:48:19.440 --> 0:48:20.719
<v Speaker 1>a good thing in front of you, and like, what

0:48:20.800 --> 0:48:23.680
<v Speaker 1>if I'm not good enough for it? Am I supposed

0:48:23.719 --> 0:48:26.920
<v Speaker 1>to be here? Yes, you're supposed to be here, not

0:48:27.000 --> 0:48:29.000
<v Speaker 1>just because you're the person that's supposed to do it,

0:48:29.360 --> 0:48:32.640
<v Speaker 1>but you're the person that's supposed to experience it, because

0:48:32.719 --> 0:48:38.279
<v Speaker 1>your experience is valuable. If you share your experience, maybe

0:48:38.360 --> 0:48:41.480
<v Speaker 1>you're the person that changes someone else's mind about this

0:48:41.520 --> 0:48:46.040
<v Speaker 1>particular experience because someone else might be petrified of leaning

0:48:46.040 --> 0:48:49.839
<v Speaker 1>into it. But because you're the person that is experiencing it,

0:48:50.200 --> 0:48:52.320
<v Speaker 1>you're the right person to send the message to the

0:48:52.400 --> 0:48:54.399
<v Speaker 1>next person. You see what I mean?

0:48:54.520 --> 0:48:58.560
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely? Yeah, that is so crystal clear. I love that. Yeah, No,

0:48:58.640 --> 0:49:01.719
<v Speaker 2>it's that's exactly what I'm saying. That The what's really

0:49:01.719 --> 0:49:04.160
<v Speaker 2>clicking for me is you're speaking is that idea that

0:49:04.719 --> 0:49:06.719
<v Speaker 2>it's come to me, it's for me to experience, it's

0:49:06.719 --> 0:49:09.640
<v Speaker 2>for me to go through, and that what we do

0:49:09.760 --> 0:49:11.920
<v Speaker 2>is we're scared before you get through it, and you

0:49:11.920 --> 0:49:14.080
<v Speaker 2>probably did better than you thought you would, and then

0:49:14.120 --> 0:49:17.200
<v Speaker 2>afterwards you critique yourself of how you didn't do a

0:49:17.239 --> 0:49:19.399
<v Speaker 2>great job, and then when the next thing comes along,

0:49:19.440 --> 0:49:22.399
<v Speaker 2>you do the same thing all over again. And what

0:49:22.440 --> 0:49:24.600
<v Speaker 2>you're saying is just so fascinating that, Yeah, it's for

0:49:24.680 --> 0:49:28.040
<v Speaker 2>you to experience. I think that's beautiful, Like that's even

0:49:28.080 --> 0:49:30.600
<v Speaker 2>better than just this for you to do, yeah, or

0:49:30.600 --> 0:49:33.400
<v Speaker 2>for you to have. It's like, no, there's an experience

0:49:33.440 --> 0:49:37.400
<v Speaker 2>here that's been perfectly crafted you just for you. Yeah,

0:49:37.680 --> 0:49:39.839
<v Speaker 2>And we don't always live in that miracle or like

0:49:40.320 --> 0:49:43.200
<v Speaker 2>live in that space. What have you felt like about

0:49:43.200 --> 0:49:45.120
<v Speaker 2>what you're doing right now that's come that way that

0:49:45.160 --> 0:49:46.920
<v Speaker 2>you're like, oh, this was just for me, Like this

0:49:47.000 --> 0:49:48.440
<v Speaker 2>is the experience I was meant to have. Was there

0:49:48.480 --> 0:49:50.600
<v Speaker 2>something recently or something that's coming up?

0:49:50.680 --> 0:49:54.160
<v Speaker 1>I doing Wicked? So there was another so call that

0:49:54.239 --> 0:49:57.799
<v Speaker 1>I really wanted to do and it didn't quite work out.

0:49:58.400 --> 0:50:00.600
<v Speaker 1>And because it didn't work out, it meant that I

0:50:00.640 --> 0:50:04.879
<v Speaker 1>was available to even be seen for Wicked. And now

0:50:04.880 --> 0:50:08.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm doing it and it came in out of nowhere.

0:50:09.480 --> 0:50:13.520
<v Speaker 1>I one day my agent Gordon was like, so they're

0:50:13.520 --> 0:50:15.440
<v Speaker 1>seeing people for Wicked, And I was like, I had

0:50:15.480 --> 0:50:19.120
<v Speaker 1>no idea this was even happening. And now now it

0:50:19.160 --> 0:50:21.439
<v Speaker 1>is what it is and I'm doing it, and this

0:50:21.520 --> 0:50:25.200
<v Speaker 1>is so far has been a really wonderful experience. I've

0:50:25.239 --> 0:50:29.440
<v Speaker 1>been talking to John, our director, and Ariana, and we're

0:50:29.480 --> 0:50:33.080
<v Speaker 1>really sort of like finding our sort of group, like

0:50:33.280 --> 0:50:35.680
<v Speaker 1>what is our what is the group mind wanting? What

0:50:35.719 --> 0:50:37.400
<v Speaker 1>do we want to tell with this story? How do

0:50:37.400 --> 0:50:39.600
<v Speaker 1>we want it to look? What do we want people

0:50:39.640 --> 0:50:41.759
<v Speaker 1>to feel? How we want to feel when we do it?

0:50:41.800 --> 0:50:45.880
<v Speaker 1>All of those things. And it wouldn't have happened if

0:50:46.360 --> 0:50:49.400
<v Speaker 1>there was a yes there, because this yes was supposed

0:50:49.400 --> 0:50:51.640
<v Speaker 1>to come, you know, yeah, yeah.

0:50:51.840 --> 0:50:54.160
<v Speaker 2>How does it feel when you're working with other incredibly

0:50:54.200 --> 0:50:59.759
<v Speaker 2>creative people that one mind can be really challenging. There's

0:50:59.800 --> 0:51:01.920
<v Speaker 2>one getting your mind right and being like I know

0:51:01.960 --> 0:51:04.160
<v Speaker 2>what I'm doing. Yeah, Now you've got three sets of

0:51:04.200 --> 0:51:07.680
<v Speaker 2>imposter syndrome, three sets of excitement, three sets of artists.

0:51:07.719 --> 0:51:10.640
<v Speaker 2>Like what have you figured out as by now? Like

0:51:10.719 --> 0:51:12.520
<v Speaker 2>is there a system of process that you can follow

0:51:12.600 --> 0:51:15.319
<v Speaker 2>to help to make everyone feel comfortable? Like? How does

0:51:15.360 --> 0:51:15.800
<v Speaker 2>that work?

0:51:15.960 --> 0:51:19.360
<v Speaker 1>Often it's about thinking less about and I know this

0:51:19.440 --> 0:51:23.960
<v Speaker 1>sounds counterintuitive, but less about what you need and more

0:51:24.000 --> 0:51:27.759
<v Speaker 1>about what they need. What does this person need in

0:51:27.800 --> 0:51:30.000
<v Speaker 1>this moment to feel confident enough that they can go

0:51:30.080 --> 0:51:33.160
<v Speaker 1>through this with you? What can I do to make

0:51:33.239 --> 0:51:36.920
<v Speaker 1>you understand that I am here for you as well?

0:51:37.239 --> 0:51:39.239
<v Speaker 1>And if I'm here for you, you can be here

0:51:39.280 --> 0:51:41.520
<v Speaker 1>for me. And therefore we can think together, we can

0:51:41.520 --> 0:51:44.719
<v Speaker 1>figure it out together. And I think that once that's

0:51:44.719 --> 0:51:47.759
<v Speaker 1>sort of established, it's just about throwing ideas and like,

0:51:47.840 --> 0:51:51.000
<v Speaker 1>what about this? There's no wrong idea like creating a

0:51:51.040 --> 0:51:54.040
<v Speaker 1>space for when you want a one mind idea, it's

0:51:54.080 --> 0:51:57.600
<v Speaker 1>about that's actually about creating a safe space. And we

0:51:57.719 --> 0:52:01.640
<v Speaker 1>hear the words safe space used a lot, but that

0:52:01.920 --> 0:52:06.279
<v Speaker 1>is really what it is, creating a safe surrounding so

0:52:06.320 --> 0:52:09.680
<v Speaker 1>that we can throw anything at the wall, Like is

0:52:09.920 --> 0:52:13.680
<v Speaker 1>what about this? It might sound completely ridiculous, outlandish, but

0:52:13.920 --> 0:52:16.120
<v Speaker 1>it's okay to throw it in this circle because we're

0:52:16.120 --> 0:52:18.160
<v Speaker 1>all going to appreciate it. We might it might not

0:52:18.400 --> 0:52:20.280
<v Speaker 1>be quite right, but we're going to be like, actually,

0:52:20.600 --> 0:52:23.879
<v Speaker 1>this thing about the thing that's outlandish actually might work.

0:52:23.920 --> 0:52:26.360
<v Speaker 1>What if we applied it to this thing here and

0:52:26.440 --> 0:52:29.680
<v Speaker 1>made it work that way? Then we're all now we're

0:52:29.719 --> 0:52:32.879
<v Speaker 1>of one mind, we're of one accord. We might have

0:52:33.000 --> 0:52:36.080
<v Speaker 1>different thoughts and different ideas, but somehow they all come

0:52:36.520 --> 0:52:40.120
<v Speaker 1>together because we're all there for the same purpose. If

0:52:40.160 --> 0:52:43.080
<v Speaker 1>you find out what the purpose is, we're all going

0:52:43.120 --> 0:52:47.399
<v Speaker 1>in the same direction, well then you can't necessarily go wrong.

0:52:47.440 --> 0:52:50.160
<v Speaker 1>You won't really have to manage everyone's sort of imposter

0:52:50.200 --> 0:52:53.280
<v Speaker 1>syndrome because it's not about us, it's about the bigger

0:52:53.360 --> 0:52:57.680
<v Speaker 1>picture at hand. How do we approach this challenge together

0:52:58.040 --> 0:52:58.840
<v Speaker 1>and make it work?

0:52:59.120 --> 0:53:02.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love that idea of I think

0:53:02.080 --> 0:53:06.359
<v Speaker 2>that space of there's no bad ideas and that don't

0:53:06.440 --> 0:53:08.839
<v Speaker 2>judge someone for their bad ideas, judge them for their

0:53:08.880 --> 0:53:09.399
<v Speaker 2>great ones.

0:53:09.520 --> 0:53:11.919
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and judge them for the bravery to even say

0:53:11.920 --> 0:53:12.600
<v Speaker 1>the idea.

0:53:12.400 --> 0:53:15.360
<v Speaker 2>Yeah first, even though everyone knows it's and you're so

0:53:15.520 --> 0:53:18.920
<v Speaker 2>right that so often a bad idea is actually the

0:53:18.960 --> 0:53:20.840
<v Speaker 2>seed of a great one. It's just that you have

0:53:20.920 --> 0:53:23.320
<v Speaker 2>to kind of put away all the take it apart

0:53:23.360 --> 0:53:25.560
<v Speaker 2>and get rid of all the dust. And there's actually

0:53:25.600 --> 0:53:28.440
<v Speaker 2>something really interesting there, Like there's an interesting perspective or

0:53:28.440 --> 0:53:30.600
<v Speaker 2>a way of looking at it. What do you think,

0:53:30.680 --> 0:53:34.200
<v Speaker 2>Cynthith for you, what's the biggest change you've made in

0:53:34.239 --> 0:53:36.920
<v Speaker 2>your life that you think has had the biggest change

0:53:36.960 --> 0:53:39.640
<v Speaker 2>in your life? Like, is there a habit a practice. Obviously,

0:53:39.719 --> 0:53:41.600
<v Speaker 2>running is a huge one that I think we discussed.

0:53:41.840 --> 0:53:44.680
<v Speaker 2>Is there anything else a change that you've made internally

0:53:45.080 --> 0:53:47.720
<v Speaker 2>in your belief system or externally or in your values

0:53:47.760 --> 0:53:50.400
<v Speaker 2>that you think has been the catalyst for all of

0:53:50.440 --> 0:53:54.520
<v Speaker 2>these mindset shifts and this greatness that has come your way? Like,

0:53:55.120 --> 0:53:59.200
<v Speaker 2>does that come from having had a religious upbringing that

0:53:59.239 --> 0:54:01.279
<v Speaker 2>you've spiritual lies? Does it come you know? Because I'm

0:54:01.280 --> 0:54:03.520
<v Speaker 2>always fascinated by like when you speak and when you

0:54:03.520 --> 0:54:06.240
<v Speaker 2>put these ideas to me, I'm like, there's so much beauty,

0:54:06.320 --> 0:54:10.160
<v Speaker 2>there's so much eloquence, and then there's elegance to it too,

0:54:10.400 --> 0:54:12.600
<v Speaker 2>And then I'm like, well, where how did you know? Like,

0:54:12.600 --> 0:54:15.279
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, I love I guess when you were saying, like,

0:54:15.320 --> 0:54:17.240
<v Speaker 2>when you're looking at a role or a person, Actually

0:54:17.239 --> 0:54:19.400
<v Speaker 2>you said a person, a real person, not a character.

0:54:19.880 --> 0:54:21.640
<v Speaker 2>You were saying, like, you love how they figure out

0:54:21.640 --> 0:54:23.120
<v Speaker 2>how they walk and how they talk and why they

0:54:23.160 --> 0:54:25.520
<v Speaker 2>do this. I think for me when I'm I'm fascinated

0:54:25.520 --> 0:54:28.160
<v Speaker 2>by human behavior from the point of view of how

0:54:28.200 --> 0:54:30.920
<v Speaker 2>can humans change? Right, I think that's what like I

0:54:31.000 --> 0:54:33.520
<v Speaker 2>get obsessed about. I'm always like, well, when that person

0:54:33.560 --> 0:54:37.000
<v Speaker 2>made that shift? What did they do that help them

0:54:37.040 --> 0:54:39.880
<v Speaker 2>to make that shift? And how can other people benefit

0:54:39.920 --> 0:54:40.239
<v Speaker 2>from that?

0:54:40.480 --> 0:54:40.680
<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

0:54:40.800 --> 0:54:43.440
<v Speaker 2>Or like, how does that person make decisions that makes

0:54:43.480 --> 0:54:46.480
<v Speaker 2>them a better decision maker? Or why does that person

0:54:46.600 --> 0:54:48.719
<v Speaker 2>lie or steal or cheat or whatever it may be

0:54:48.880 --> 0:54:51.759
<v Speaker 2>that ruins their life. So I think, yeah, I'm just

0:54:51.800 --> 0:54:54.799
<v Speaker 2>trying to get to what change did you have to

0:54:54.840 --> 0:54:56.680
<v Speaker 2>make a change in mindset? Or do you think it

0:54:56.719 --> 0:55:00.400
<v Speaker 2>was a snowball effect of just these positive exp speriances

0:55:00.440 --> 0:55:01.560
<v Speaker 2>that you kept collecting.

0:55:02.040 --> 0:55:06.760
<v Speaker 1>I think it's like a slow and steady accumulation of trying,

0:55:07.320 --> 0:55:11.719
<v Speaker 1>just trying things. When I was younger, i'd be I

0:55:11.760 --> 0:55:13.319
<v Speaker 1>was a little scared when I when I first went

0:55:13.360 --> 0:55:16.600
<v Speaker 1>to drama school. What actually happened was I met someone

0:55:16.760 --> 0:55:19.760
<v Speaker 1>at a young Actors company. I told you the story

0:55:19.760 --> 0:55:22.880
<v Speaker 1>before ray m N and she she told me I

0:55:22.880 --> 0:55:26.040
<v Speaker 1>should go to drama school. But before that I had

0:55:26.160 --> 0:55:28.640
<v Speaker 1>I had just gone out on a whim and decided

0:55:28.680 --> 0:55:30.120
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to be at I can't go to

0:55:30.280 --> 0:55:34.200
<v Speaker 1>university and study this subject. It's not it doesn't feel right.

0:55:34.520 --> 0:55:37.480
<v Speaker 1>It's sort of like listening to myself and being okay

0:55:37.520 --> 0:55:40.240
<v Speaker 1>with that this might be a terrible mistake, but I'm

0:55:40.320 --> 0:55:43.200
<v Speaker 1>not going to do this thing that I think everybody

0:55:43.560 --> 0:55:46.520
<v Speaker 1>expected me to do. So I'm going to leave university.

0:55:46.680 --> 0:55:48.799
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to just try this Young Actors Company. This

0:55:49.000 --> 0:55:53.080
<v Speaker 1>course that's at a theater. It's not not that it's

0:55:53.120 --> 0:55:55.520
<v Speaker 1>not a massive course that is around the world, like

0:55:55.560 --> 0:55:58.120
<v Speaker 1>nobody really knows about it, but it just feels right.

0:55:58.200 --> 0:56:00.640
<v Speaker 1>So I'm going to go there. I bump into Ray,

0:56:00.680 --> 0:56:03.239
<v Speaker 1>who I hadn't seen for five years. She tells me

0:56:03.280 --> 0:56:07.120
<v Speaker 1>to go to drama school. I tell her, no, I say,

0:56:07.160 --> 0:56:08.960
<v Speaker 1>I'm not doing it. There's no way I'm going to

0:56:09.000 --> 0:56:10.719
<v Speaker 1>get in. She says, well, you can't come to this

0:56:10.800 --> 0:56:14.359
<v Speaker 1>course if you don't apply to this wow school. And

0:56:14.400 --> 0:56:17.760
<v Speaker 1>I say, all right, I will apply to this school,

0:56:17.800 --> 0:56:22.799
<v Speaker 1>but only this school, just this one, only because you ask,

0:56:22.840 --> 0:56:26.600
<v Speaker 1>and I'm only applying to this. Fine. I apply and

0:56:27.200 --> 0:56:29.279
<v Speaker 1>I do the work. I don't phone it in. I

0:56:29.360 --> 0:56:33.280
<v Speaker 1>really do work to get to these auditions, and somehow

0:56:33.360 --> 0:56:37.480
<v Speaker 1>I find myself in this drama school. What Academy of

0:56:37.560 --> 0:56:39.880
<v Speaker 1>Dramatic Arts. It's one of the best schools in the

0:56:39.920 --> 0:56:44.359
<v Speaker 1>world for acting. And I feel like a fish out

0:56:44.360 --> 0:56:47.560
<v Speaker 1>of water. But a lot of my experience at this

0:56:47.640 --> 0:56:54.640
<v Speaker 1>school is about what feels right for me, because that's

0:56:54.760 --> 0:56:57.960
<v Speaker 1>really how I can gauge it. At one point and

0:56:58.040 --> 0:57:00.160
<v Speaker 1>I was physical, I was working out a lot, and

0:57:00.280 --> 0:57:01.640
<v Speaker 1>one of the teacher says, oh, you should stop work

0:57:01.640 --> 0:57:03.520
<v Speaker 1>out because you get you know, you need to get softer,

0:57:03.600 --> 0:57:06.080
<v Speaker 1>and I was like, I don't know that that's right.

0:57:06.600 --> 0:57:09.960
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna I'm going to keep working out because it's

0:57:09.960 --> 0:57:12.080
<v Speaker 1>good for my brain in my mind, so I'm going

0:57:12.160 --> 0:57:15.319
<v Speaker 1>to keep doing that. And I find a person in

0:57:15.360 --> 0:57:18.160
<v Speaker 1>my class who happens to just play the piano. He

0:57:18.240 --> 0:57:21.720
<v Speaker 1>plays the piano beautifully. So we just pick up books

0:57:21.760 --> 0:57:25.040
<v Speaker 1>from the library that are scores of music, and we

0:57:25.120 --> 0:57:27.720
<v Speaker 1>go through these music scores. One of them happens to

0:57:27.760 --> 0:57:31.240
<v Speaker 1>be Wicked, and we learn that score back to front.

0:57:31.840 --> 0:57:35.760
<v Speaker 1>I have no idea that ten odd years later, Wow,

0:57:36.400 --> 0:57:38.760
<v Speaker 1>that thing is going to be the thing I'm doing now,

0:57:39.080 --> 0:57:41.440
<v Speaker 1>no idea. I have no idea. I just love the music,

0:57:41.800 --> 0:57:45.120
<v Speaker 1>and I know that going away to a music room

0:57:45.160 --> 0:57:47.240
<v Speaker 1>with a piano with this person to sing all this

0:57:47.360 --> 0:57:53.080
<v Speaker 1>music feels really good, feels good. We're doing these shows

0:57:53.120 --> 0:57:55.760
<v Speaker 1>and we all are like trying to get our agents

0:57:55.800 --> 0:57:59.640
<v Speaker 1>and whatnot, and I think, I don't think the traditional

0:57:59.680 --> 0:58:01.760
<v Speaker 1>way of getting an agent is really going to work

0:58:01.800 --> 0:58:05.320
<v Speaker 1>for me. So we put on a cabaret in the

0:58:05.360 --> 0:58:10.200
<v Speaker 1>bar because it feels good. I get my agent and

0:58:10.280 --> 0:58:13.400
<v Speaker 1>I finish early. So when I go to do this

0:58:13.480 --> 0:58:15.280
<v Speaker 1>thing we call it the Tree, which is like a

0:58:15.320 --> 0:58:18.240
<v Speaker 1>presentation of different scenes. I just do the things that

0:58:18.320 --> 0:58:21.360
<v Speaker 1>feel good and people love it, and I feel good

0:58:21.400 --> 0:58:24.520
<v Speaker 1>when I'm done and there's no pressure, there's no anxiety,

0:58:24.920 --> 0:58:27.760
<v Speaker 1>and I leave with a show to go to. And

0:58:27.760 --> 0:58:30.440
<v Speaker 1>it's been a series of what's my gut in my

0:58:30.720 --> 0:58:34.040
<v Speaker 1>heart telling me? The color purple came because I knew

0:58:34.080 --> 0:58:37.560
<v Speaker 1>it was coming, and I was like, I know I'm

0:58:37.600 --> 0:58:42.080
<v Speaker 1>supposed to play Sealy. I just know it. I can't

0:58:42.160 --> 0:58:45.760
<v Speaker 1>tell you why, but my gut is telling me. My

0:58:45.920 --> 0:58:48.160
<v Speaker 1>heart is telling me that's what I'm supposed to do.

0:58:49.080 --> 0:58:52.480
<v Speaker 1>No idea about what's happening next. We do this show

0:58:52.760 --> 0:58:55.320
<v Speaker 1>in a little theater with two hundred people. It's a

0:58:55.360 --> 0:58:58.000
<v Speaker 1>two hundred seater, that's it. Towards the end, they asked,

0:58:58.000 --> 0:58:59.520
<v Speaker 1>so do you want to do you think you would

0:58:59.560 --> 0:59:02.000
<v Speaker 1>want to do this on Broadway? I don't think they're

0:59:02.040 --> 0:59:05.040
<v Speaker 1>being serious. Cut to a year or two later, we're

0:59:05.040 --> 0:59:07.080
<v Speaker 1>on Broadway and we're doing this show. I have no

0:59:07.200 --> 0:59:10.040
<v Speaker 1>idea of any of this. I think it's just accumulation

0:59:10.600 --> 0:59:15.240
<v Speaker 1>of genuinely listening to myself and not being afraid that

0:59:15.280 --> 0:59:16.160
<v Speaker 1>the decision might.

0:59:16.040 --> 0:59:19.120
<v Speaker 2>Be wrong totally, you know, yes.

0:59:18.760 --> 0:59:21.080
<v Speaker 1>Because yes, some of it might be wrong, but then

0:59:21.120 --> 0:59:22.320
<v Speaker 1>it somehow is right.

0:59:22.680 --> 0:59:26.439
<v Speaker 2>Yes, yeah, yeah, right, yeah, if you've just farked something

0:59:26.440 --> 0:59:29.320
<v Speaker 2>in me that I think has some truth in it

0:59:29.360 --> 0:59:32.400
<v Speaker 2>is the idea that if you listen to everyone else,

0:59:33.080 --> 0:59:36.120
<v Speaker 2>chances are they might be wrong, right, and if you

0:59:36.160 --> 0:59:39.160
<v Speaker 2>listen to yourself, chances are you might be right right.

0:59:39.200 --> 0:59:41.360
<v Speaker 2>I know there might be some ways that it goes wrong,

0:59:41.640 --> 0:59:44.520
<v Speaker 2>but when you're listening to yourself, you can take responsibility

0:59:44.680 --> 0:59:47.080
<v Speaker 2>for when it doesn't work. You can pivot quicker or

0:59:47.080 --> 0:59:48.760
<v Speaker 2>is that fine? When you listen to someone else and

0:59:48.800 --> 0:59:51.240
<v Speaker 2>it goes wrong, then you just keep blaming them. Oh yeah,

0:59:51.240 --> 0:59:53.640
<v Speaker 2>I shouldn't have listened to that personally, And it's like,

0:59:53.720 --> 0:59:56.080
<v Speaker 2>but no, like you don't need to listen to what

0:59:56.120 --> 0:59:58.440
<v Speaker 2>they thought anyway. And so I love that, and I

0:59:58.480 --> 1:00:02.040
<v Speaker 2>love all the dots and they all joint. Yeah, and

1:00:02.080 --> 1:00:04.800
<v Speaker 2>that's the beauty of it, looking back on it. Yeah,

1:00:04.840 --> 1:00:07.720
<v Speaker 2>there's that beautiful quote from Steve Jobs where he said,

1:00:07.720 --> 1:00:10.160
<v Speaker 2>you can't connect the dots moving forward. You only can

1:00:10.200 --> 1:00:12.439
<v Speaker 2>when you're looking backwards. And I feel like when that's

1:00:12.480 --> 1:00:14.360
<v Speaker 2>exactly what this is, you're like, I just did this

1:00:14.400 --> 1:00:16.680
<v Speaker 2>because it felt good, and I did this, and now

1:00:16.720 --> 1:00:19.160
<v Speaker 2>and I look back. And I encourage everyone to not

1:00:19.240 --> 1:00:21.760
<v Speaker 2>look for the connection moving forward like you.

1:00:21.760 --> 1:00:22.400
<v Speaker 1>Will find it.

1:00:22.520 --> 1:00:24.040
<v Speaker 2>No connection, you'll find it later.

1:00:24.600 --> 1:00:27.880
<v Speaker 1>Just keep keep taking the steps forwards again, one step

1:00:27.920 --> 1:00:30.040
<v Speaker 1>in front of the other. Just keep moving forward.

1:00:30.240 --> 1:00:32.280
<v Speaker 2>That's beautiful, Cynthia. On that note, I mean I could

1:00:32.280 --> 1:00:34.080
<v Speaker 2>talk to you for hours, and I hope we will.

1:00:34.280 --> 1:00:37.960
<v Speaker 2>But we end every episode of On Purpose with what

1:00:38.000 --> 1:00:41.200
<v Speaker 2>we call there's two segments. Yes, one of them is

1:00:41.240 --> 1:00:43.760
<v Speaker 2>called the Many Sides of Us, where we ask you

1:00:43.840 --> 1:00:47.240
<v Speaker 2>to use one word or one phrase to describe yourself

1:00:47.480 --> 1:00:50.880
<v Speaker 2>through different mirrors in different lenses, and the others are

1:00:50.880 --> 1:00:54.240
<v Speaker 2>the Fast Five. So here are your questions. What is

1:00:54.360 --> 1:00:58.080
<v Speaker 2>one word or phrase that someone would say about you

1:00:58.240 --> 1:00:59.840
<v Speaker 2>meeting you for the first time.

1:01:00.440 --> 1:01:03.200
<v Speaker 1>I've been hearing she's very warm.

1:01:03.400 --> 1:01:07.280
<v Speaker 2>That's beautiful. I would have to agree, you're very warm today.

1:01:07.320 --> 1:01:09.200
<v Speaker 2>I'm meeting you first, I me even though we've spoken before,

1:01:09.240 --> 1:01:12.720
<v Speaker 2>and so I'm like very warm you. Actually, the last

1:01:12.760 --> 1:01:15.480
<v Speaker 2>time I interviewed you is only audio, so it's always

1:01:15.520 --> 1:01:18.440
<v Speaker 2>different when you finally and I was like, you have

1:01:18.520 --> 1:01:20.880
<v Speaker 2>a way of speaking that people want to listen. That's

1:01:20.920 --> 1:01:22.680
<v Speaker 2>what I noticed about you. I was like, I actually

1:01:22.720 --> 1:01:24.920
<v Speaker 2>care about what she has to say because of your cadence,

1:01:24.960 --> 1:01:27.680
<v Speaker 2>your tone, You're just yeah, the texture of your voice,

1:01:27.680 --> 1:01:30.800
<v Speaker 2>and I'm so intrigued. So that was something as well.

1:01:30.800 --> 1:01:33.720
<v Speaker 2>That's special. Okay, what is one word or phrase to

1:01:33.760 --> 1:01:36.840
<v Speaker 2>describe what someone would say that knows you very well.

1:01:37.400 --> 1:01:41.160
<v Speaker 1>I'm stubborn, Ah, stubborn about what I like to get

1:01:41.160 --> 1:01:43.720
<v Speaker 1>things done on my own, and it's a trait that

1:01:43.840 --> 1:01:45.960
<v Speaker 1>I am having to sort of like shift a little

1:01:45.960 --> 1:01:48.960
<v Speaker 1>bit because there is that wonderful positive thing about I

1:01:48.960 --> 1:01:51.160
<v Speaker 1>can get it done and I'm pragmatic and get things done.

1:01:51.240 --> 1:01:53.280
<v Speaker 1>But there's also the other part of like it's okay,

1:01:53.320 --> 1:01:56.200
<v Speaker 1>someone else can help you. You can help is good too.

1:01:56.480 --> 1:01:59.640
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it took me. I know what that one feels like.

1:02:00.080 --> 1:02:02.520
<v Speaker 2>I know, yeah, I can relate to that, all right,

1:02:02.560 --> 1:02:04.680
<v Speaker 2>So it's not stubborn in the same way my wife

1:02:04.720 --> 1:02:09.520
<v Speaker 2>has got it. Just clarifying, Okay, Question number three What

1:02:09.640 --> 1:02:11.640
<v Speaker 2>is one word or phrase that you would use to

1:02:11.720 --> 1:02:15.880
<v Speaker 2>describe yourself open, beautiful? What is a word or phrase

1:02:15.920 --> 1:02:18.439
<v Speaker 2>that someone who maybe doesn't like you would say about

1:02:18.480 --> 1:02:19.320
<v Speaker 2>you difficult?

1:02:20.360 --> 1:02:22.240
<v Speaker 1>I don't settle right.

1:02:22.920 --> 1:02:25.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm so glad you brought that up. Let's let's have it.

1:02:25.480 --> 1:02:30.000
<v Speaker 2>So I get that feedback a lot, and it comes

1:02:30.080 --> 1:02:36.240
<v Speaker 2>from my inner responsibility that I have this unique opportunity

1:02:36.320 --> 1:02:37.880
<v Speaker 2>to serve the world in the way I want to,

1:02:38.640 --> 1:02:40.600
<v Speaker 2>and I never thought it would be possible. I'm very

1:02:40.600 --> 1:02:43.680
<v Speaker 2>grateful for it. But now I can't settle right, and

1:02:44.000 --> 1:02:46.000
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to treat this as just a job

1:02:46.120 --> 1:02:48.280
<v Speaker 2>or a career or It's so much more to me

1:02:48.360 --> 1:02:51.320
<v Speaker 2>than any of those things. Tell me about how you

1:02:51.360 --> 1:02:53.200
<v Speaker 2>deal with that when you're seen as difficult in your way,

1:02:53.240 --> 1:02:55.120
<v Speaker 2>in your specific experience of that word.

1:02:55.840 --> 1:02:58.960
<v Speaker 1>The way I've dealt with it has sort of shifted

1:02:58.960 --> 1:03:02.560
<v Speaker 1>over time. Before I probably get defensive about it. It's

1:03:02.640 --> 1:03:06.480
<v Speaker 1>in our nature to sort of like defend ourselves when

1:03:06.520 --> 1:03:09.880
<v Speaker 1>we don't like the thing that we're hearing about ourselves. Now,

1:03:09.960 --> 1:03:12.320
<v Speaker 1>I think I have more patience to sort of sit

1:03:12.440 --> 1:03:15.000
<v Speaker 1>and be like the reason why you may think I

1:03:15.040 --> 1:03:19.480
<v Speaker 1>am difficult or see that is because I'm maybe asking

1:03:19.520 --> 1:03:23.200
<v Speaker 1>for things that feel like they're way it's just too much.

1:03:23.240 --> 1:03:26.000
<v Speaker 1>But actually I'm asking for the things that will allow

1:03:26.080 --> 1:03:29.480
<v Speaker 1>me to be my optimum self for you, so that

1:03:29.880 --> 1:03:32.720
<v Speaker 1>when we come away from this, you know I've given

1:03:32.760 --> 1:03:35.840
<v Speaker 1>you everything I can possibly give you in the best

1:03:35.920 --> 1:03:40.720
<v Speaker 1>possible way. It just takes patience and understanding for us

1:03:40.760 --> 1:03:41.880
<v Speaker 1>to be able to meet in the middle.

1:03:42.000 --> 1:03:45.840
<v Speaker 2>That's beautiful. I love that great description. Okay, a question

1:03:45.920 --> 1:03:50.200
<v Speaker 2>number five. Yeah, what is a word or phrase that

1:03:50.240 --> 1:03:52.680
<v Speaker 2>you're trying to embody today, something that you're working on,

1:03:52.800 --> 1:03:54.000
<v Speaker 2>something that you're still today.

1:03:54.640 --> 1:03:57.400
<v Speaker 1>I have this already, but I think it's an everyday

1:03:58.040 --> 1:04:03.600
<v Speaker 1>voyage joy, just seeking joy in every day, like in

1:04:03.640 --> 1:04:10.440
<v Speaker 1>little things, being able to finish organizing something, or I

1:04:10.440 --> 1:04:13.640
<v Speaker 1>did my vanity were around my bathroom and I was like,

1:04:13.680 --> 1:04:16.280
<v Speaker 1>it looks really tidy. That's a little piece of joy.

1:04:16.400 --> 1:04:18.240
<v Speaker 1>Meeting people in the streets I run a little piece

1:04:18.240 --> 1:04:20.600
<v Speaker 1>of joy. I found I don't know, a chocolate bar

1:04:20.640 --> 1:04:23.360
<v Speaker 1>that I haven't had for ages. Joy. You know, I've

1:04:23.560 --> 1:04:25.280
<v Speaker 1>managed to get everything ready and I got the right

1:04:25.280 --> 1:04:29.600
<v Speaker 1>outfit my waters. I'm prepared to date joy like finding

1:04:29.880 --> 1:04:34.760
<v Speaker 1>pieces of joy in the little moments so that we

1:04:34.800 --> 1:04:38.200
<v Speaker 1>aren't just waiting for big, massive things to happen, that

1:04:38.560 --> 1:04:43.080
<v Speaker 1>it actually is an every day build up of goodness

1:04:43.760 --> 1:04:45.840
<v Speaker 1>so that when the big things come, they're just like

1:04:45.960 --> 1:04:46.800
<v Speaker 1>a cherry on top.

1:04:47.000 --> 1:04:49.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, I love that. That's beautiful. And I wanted

1:04:49.880 --> 1:04:53.560
<v Speaker 2>to end with our final conversation around what we talked

1:04:53.600 --> 1:04:55.920
<v Speaker 2>about briefly before we started, was that you were saying

1:04:55.960 --> 1:04:58.200
<v Speaker 2>that you're at this point in life where you're trying

1:04:58.200 --> 1:05:00.200
<v Speaker 2>to figure out the difference between speaking for from a

1:05:00.240 --> 1:05:03.200
<v Speaker 2>place of love and then speaking from a place of fear.

1:05:03.880 --> 1:05:06.160
<v Speaker 2>So often we're trying to speak from a place of love,

1:05:06.240 --> 1:05:08.920
<v Speaker 2>but really we end up speaking from a place of

1:05:08.960 --> 1:05:11.640
<v Speaker 2>protecting ourselves. Yeah, and I wanted to hear how you

1:05:11.640 --> 1:05:13.800
<v Speaker 2>felt today when you were sharing, like, how is that

1:05:13.840 --> 1:05:15.760
<v Speaker 2>evolved for you? Because I think you're so right. I think,

1:05:15.880 --> 1:05:18.920
<v Speaker 2>especially people in the public eye, are always speaking from

1:05:18.920 --> 1:05:21.680
<v Speaker 2>a place of fear because everything you say is like

1:05:22.520 --> 1:05:24.720
<v Speaker 2>can be taken apart and be highlighted, and can be

1:05:24.760 --> 1:05:27.320
<v Speaker 2>blown up out of proportion. And so walk me through

1:05:27.360 --> 1:05:27.720
<v Speaker 2>that for you.

1:05:27.920 --> 1:05:31.959
<v Speaker 1>I think that we've misconstrued what it means to speak

1:05:32.000 --> 1:05:35.080
<v Speaker 1>from a place of love because we believe that speaking

1:05:35.120 --> 1:05:39.400
<v Speaker 1>from a place of love is protecting someone's feelings. But

1:05:39.520 --> 1:05:42.959
<v Speaker 1>by protecting someone's feelings protecting your own because you don't

1:05:43.000 --> 1:05:45.600
<v Speaker 1>want that person's feeling to come back at you and

1:05:45.680 --> 1:05:50.480
<v Speaker 1>make you feel hurt. But actually, if you speak from

1:05:50.520 --> 1:05:54.800
<v Speaker 1>a place of love, you are actually communicating with another

1:05:54.920 --> 1:06:00.440
<v Speaker 1>person about what can can help both of you meet

1:06:00.520 --> 1:06:03.680
<v Speaker 1>somewhere in the middle and understand one another. So if

1:06:03.760 --> 1:06:07.000
<v Speaker 1>I say, let's say something as simple as someone has

1:06:07.000 --> 1:06:11.440
<v Speaker 1>said something that's hurt your feelings, instead of saying that

1:06:11.520 --> 1:06:15.280
<v Speaker 1>thing you said hurt my feelings and I know that

1:06:15.280 --> 1:06:17.600
<v Speaker 1>that wasn't what you meant to do, but that's how

1:06:17.640 --> 1:06:20.520
<v Speaker 1>I felt. That person can go I'm so sorry. I

1:06:20.560 --> 1:06:22.280
<v Speaker 1>didn't mean to That's not what I meant at all.

1:06:23.040 --> 1:06:26.800
<v Speaker 1>Now we've not exacerbated anything. I've just told you how

1:06:26.840 --> 1:06:30.320
<v Speaker 1>I felt from a place of not afraid that you're

1:06:30.320 --> 1:06:33.240
<v Speaker 1>going to get defensive about what you said. It's not

1:06:33.600 --> 1:06:35.920
<v Speaker 1>you said that thing and I don't think it was

1:06:36.040 --> 1:06:39.920
<v Speaker 1>right and it was really mean different turn of phrase,

1:06:40.000 --> 1:06:43.240
<v Speaker 1>isn't it. You're not speaking from a place of This

1:06:43.400 --> 1:06:47.560
<v Speaker 1>is how it felt when it came to me. Is

1:06:47.600 --> 1:06:51.080
<v Speaker 1>that what you meant? Now there's a space to have

1:06:51.120 --> 1:06:54.600
<v Speaker 1>a conversation about well, actually, maybe this is what I meant,

1:06:55.000 --> 1:06:57.320
<v Speaker 1>and now I understand Okay, well, now we can have

1:06:57.320 --> 1:07:00.560
<v Speaker 1>a discussion about something. When we speak from a place

1:07:00.560 --> 1:07:04.240
<v Speaker 1>of love, what we're actually doing is giving the other

1:07:04.280 --> 1:07:08.520
<v Speaker 1>person an opportunity to be understood, and therefore you get

1:07:08.520 --> 1:07:10.680
<v Speaker 1>the chance to be understood as well. When we speak

1:07:10.680 --> 1:07:13.320
<v Speaker 1>from a place of fear, we're trying to stop the

1:07:13.360 --> 1:07:17.040
<v Speaker 1>other person from getting upset, to stop ourselves from feeling

1:07:17.160 --> 1:07:20.000
<v Speaker 1>even more rejection or more upset. And we can't walk

1:07:20.040 --> 1:07:23.760
<v Speaker 1>around like that, are essentially walking around like broken shells.

1:07:24.160 --> 1:07:27.440
<v Speaker 1>That doesn't work. We want to allow people to make

1:07:27.480 --> 1:07:30.680
<v Speaker 1>themselves whole every time we have a conversation with them,

1:07:31.240 --> 1:07:34.160
<v Speaker 1>to leave a conversation thinking, oh I learned something, I

1:07:34.240 --> 1:07:37.920
<v Speaker 1>understand something, I know something. If you leave a conversation

1:07:38.040 --> 1:07:40.360
<v Speaker 1>going did I actually get what I needed from that?

1:07:40.520 --> 1:07:43.520
<v Speaker 1>And that's often how people leave conversations, especially arguments. You

1:07:43.600 --> 1:07:45.320
<v Speaker 1>leave an argument you think, I don't think I got

1:07:45.320 --> 1:07:48.040
<v Speaker 1>what I wanted from that. I don't think I got

1:07:48.200 --> 1:07:51.360
<v Speaker 1>the conversation I needed out of that. I'm still missing things.

1:07:51.480 --> 1:07:55.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm still not understanding certain things. Because we weren't speaking

1:07:55.080 --> 1:07:58.840
<v Speaker 1>from a place of how do we solve this, how

1:07:58.880 --> 1:08:02.760
<v Speaker 1>do we make this better? We're just sort of I

1:08:02.800 --> 1:08:04.720
<v Speaker 1>want to be heard. You want to be heard, as

1:08:04.760 --> 1:08:07.240
<v Speaker 1>opposed to I want to understand you so that you

1:08:07.280 --> 1:08:10.920
<v Speaker 1>can understand me. Now we walk away thinking, oh we

1:08:11.040 --> 1:08:11.880
<v Speaker 1>got something.

1:08:12.240 --> 1:08:13.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

1:08:13.080 --> 1:08:15.360
<v Speaker 1>And so usually by the end of those conversations, when

1:08:15.360 --> 1:08:17.600
<v Speaker 1>you're like I want to understand you want to understand,

1:08:17.960 --> 1:08:21.759
<v Speaker 1>You're like you're good. I'm good. Yeah, all right, should

1:08:21.760 --> 1:08:24.840
<v Speaker 1>we start again again? That's that tends to be how

1:08:24.840 --> 1:08:26.040
<v Speaker 1>those conversations end up.

1:08:26.720 --> 1:08:28.920
<v Speaker 2>Want those Yeah, yeah, I want those too. It makes

1:08:28.920 --> 1:08:31.519
<v Speaker 2>so much sense. And today's Today's been a conversation filed

1:08:31.560 --> 1:08:34.680
<v Speaker 2>with love, filled with joy. Feel does a lot of understanding.

1:08:34.760 --> 1:08:37.400
<v Speaker 2>And I know anyone who listens to this speaking to

1:08:37.439 --> 1:08:40.880
<v Speaker 2>you is like there's there's a there's a therapeutic nature

1:08:40.920 --> 1:08:43.040
<v Speaker 2>to it. It's very like, I feel like anyone who

1:08:43.400 --> 1:08:45.840
<v Speaker 2>listens to this or watches this is going to walk

1:08:45.880 --> 1:08:50.080
<v Speaker 2>away just feeling a sense of joy genuinely because I

1:08:50.120 --> 1:08:52.160
<v Speaker 2>think the way you talk about your life, the way

1:08:52.160 --> 1:08:53.760
<v Speaker 2>you talk about these miracles, the way you talk about

1:08:53.760 --> 1:08:56.479
<v Speaker 2>the connection, the way you talk about the work, but

1:08:56.560 --> 1:08:59.719
<v Speaker 2>also the wisdom that comes from it is really special,

1:08:59.760 --> 1:09:02.360
<v Speaker 2>and so thank you so much. Thank you for being

1:09:02.400 --> 1:09:04.160
<v Speaker 2>here today. Thank you for doing this. I hope you

1:09:04.160 --> 1:09:06.800
<v Speaker 2>had fun. I did, and I hope you feel heard

1:09:06.840 --> 1:09:10.960
<v Speaker 2>and seen and understood. And I want to welcome everyone

1:09:11.000 --> 1:09:12.920
<v Speaker 2>at home to make sure that you share what you

1:09:13.040 --> 1:09:15.840
<v Speaker 2>learned from this episode across social media so that we

1:09:15.880 --> 1:09:19.320
<v Speaker 2>can pick up What were those little moments that Cinthi

1:09:19.439 --> 1:09:22.000
<v Speaker 2>mentioned that connected with you, that resonated with you, that

1:09:22.120 --> 1:09:24.160
<v Speaker 2>you're going to try out that what are you going

1:09:24.200 --> 1:09:26.240
<v Speaker 2>to start I'm fascinated by that. What are you going

1:09:26.320 --> 1:09:26.960
<v Speaker 2>to start doing?

1:09:27.200 --> 1:09:28.000
<v Speaker 1>I like that question.

1:09:28.200 --> 1:09:30.360
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and Sydnia, I hope you're going to come back

1:09:30.680 --> 1:09:33.040
<v Speaker 2>a year after year. Yeah, I can't wait for Pinocchio.

1:09:33.200 --> 1:09:36.400
<v Speaker 2>Very excited. Please, I love work it too. It's very excited.

1:09:36.600 --> 1:09:39.840
<v Speaker 2>I cannot wait. I really pumped but excited for this.

1:09:39.920 --> 1:09:41.439
<v Speaker 1>Thank you, Thank you very much for having me.

1:09:41.479 --> 1:09:44.160
<v Speaker 2>Thank you, thank you. If you love this episode, you

1:09:44.240 --> 1:09:47.760
<v Speaker 2>will also love my interview with Charles Douhig on how

1:09:47.800 --> 1:09:51.600
<v Speaker 2>to hack your brain, change any habit effortlessly, and the

1:09:51.680 --> 1:09:53.960
<v Speaker 2>secret to making better decisions.

1:09:54.240 --> 1:09:56.919
<v Speaker 1>When people talk about procrastination, when we talk about overthinking,

1:09:57.200 --> 1:09:59.680
<v Speaker 1>what they're really talking about is they're talking about the

1:10:00.000 --> 1:10:00.519
<v Speaker 1>first step.

1:10:00.760 --> 1:10:02.439
<v Speaker 2>Once you take the first step, it's usually