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Speaker 1: What is supposed to be for you will come to you.

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Speaker 1: And if it wasn't meant to come to you, it won't.

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Speaker 1: You are good enough.

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Speaker 2: The best selling ardor on Most, the number one healthy

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Speaker 2: wellness podcast and Purpose with Jay Shetty. Hey everyone, welcome

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Speaker 2: back to On Purpose, the number one health and wellness

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Speaker 2: podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every one

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Speaker 2: of you that come back every week to listen, learn,

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Speaker 2: and grow. I'm so grateful for our incredible community here.

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Speaker 2: The incredible response we've received to the episodes of Late

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Speaker 2: It has just been unbelievable. Whether it's you sharing your

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Speaker 2: greatest lesson on Instagram or some of you making videos

13
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Speaker 2: about episodes on TikTok or sharing a tweet, it really

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Speaker 2: means the world to me to see how many things

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Speaker 2: you're changing about your mindset and your lifestyle in order

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Speaker 2: to live healthier, more healed, happier lives. And today I'm

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Speaker 2: speaking to a guest who I've interviewed very briefly before.

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Speaker 2: I was doing a Facebook audio room called safe Space,

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Speaker 2: and this was during the pandemic, and I got to

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Speaker 2: connect with this guest and since that day, I have

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Speaker 2: not stopped thinking about or quoting this conversation to people.

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Speaker 2: So when people will say to me, like, Oh, who's

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Speaker 2: the most interesting person you've interviewed recently, this person's name

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Speaker 2: comes up a million times in conversation, and I'll talk

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Speaker 2: about her creative process and how she gets into character.

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Speaker 2: And I've rarely had that feeling where I think someone's

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Speaker 2: words stay with me for that long. I'm always blown

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Speaker 2: away by my guests, but for things to stay with

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Speaker 2: me repetitively, and then we've kept in touch, We've had

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Speaker 2: we've had a few messages back and forth, but today

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Speaker 2: finally got to meet her. I'm speaking about the one

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Speaker 2: and only Cynthia Arrivo, Grammy, Emmy, and Tony Award winning actress, singer,

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Speaker 2: and producer, as well as an Academy Award, Golden Globe

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Speaker 2: and SAG nominee. Cynthia burst onto the West End and

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Speaker 2: Broadway stages in the color purple and has since taken

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Speaker 2: the world by storm. Cynthia was recently nominated for a

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Speaker 2: SAG and Emmy Award for her critically acclaimed portrayal of

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Speaker 2: a Ritha Franklin in National Geographics Emmy winning Global anthology

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Speaker 2: series Genius Arefa. If you've not seen it. I highly

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Speaker 2: recommend it. Cynthia will hit the screen in early September

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Speaker 2: with Disney's live action retelling of Pinocchio, my favorite story

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Speaker 2: growing up. I can't wait, and Cynthia will take on

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Speaker 2: the iconic role of the Blue Fairy. How cool. Cynthia

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Speaker 2: let was the lead in the h Boys series The Outsider,

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Speaker 2: and Cynthia starred in Harriot, where she brought the legacy

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Speaker 2: of Harriet Tubman to the big screen. I actually don't

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Speaker 2: know anyone who's played this. Many iconic people in their

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Speaker 2: lifetime usually just get one go, and Cynthia's taking them

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Speaker 2: all up. Cynthia lent her voice to the movie's title song,

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Speaker 2: stand Up, which he co wrote. Stand Up won Best

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Speaker 2: Original Song at the Hollywood Music in Media Awards, and

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Speaker 2: both Cynthia and Stand Up were nominated for two Academy

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Speaker 2: Awards as well as two Golden Globe Awards in the

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Speaker 2: categories of Best Actress in a Motion Picture Drama and

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Speaker 2: Best Original Song. Stand Up also received a nomination for

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Speaker 2: a Grammy Award in the category of Best Song Written

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Speaker 2: for Visual Media. Please Welcome to the Show, Cynthia, Riva, Cynthia,

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Speaker 2: It is awesome.

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Speaker 1: Good to see you.

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Speaker 2: It's good to see you. And even the first few

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Speaker 2: moments we've had. Yeah, you know, there's something about hearing

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Speaker 2: a British accent brings it home, doesn't It's I feel

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Speaker 2: so like embraced. I just heard your voice come up

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Speaker 2: the hill when you were coming up, and I was like,

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Speaker 2: sounds I feel like I'm growing up, like you've just

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Speaker 2: gone back to being a teenager. Do I make you

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Speaker 2: feel that way? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Like whenever I hear because you know, fall in such purposes,

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Speaker 1: this is home. But whenever I hear an accent that's

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Speaker 1: that sounds like where I'm from, it makes it even

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Speaker 1: more home. It's like, oh, I really recognize that. I

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Speaker 1: feel like it's a warm hug. Hello.

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Speaker 2: Do I still have it though? That's okay, that's good. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I always get worried. I feel like you're probably bringing

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Speaker 2: out more of me. I always fel like I'm quite

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Speaker 2: the chameleons sometimes with my Yeah, my wife always makes

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Speaker 2: fun of me because she's like, every time we talk

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Speaker 2: to one of our family in India, you just put

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Speaker 2: on an Indian accent, and I do it really unknowingly.

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Speaker 2: I do it as like that.

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Speaker 1: I think we each have depending on where from. We

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Speaker 1: have like traces of what that is, so I know

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Speaker 1: that when I'm talking to my Nigerian friends. We've been

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Speaker 1: listening to that accent since we were kids, so it's

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Speaker 1: not that we aren't we don't have the accent. It's

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Speaker 1: sort of like embedded on our brains, so it just

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Speaker 1: comes out when we're together. It's sort of like the

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Speaker 1: comfortability of it comes out. So I think it's the

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Speaker 1: same as when we're around other English people. The comfortability

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Speaker 1: of speaking with an English accent, yes comes to life.

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Speaker 1: There are terms when I have to sort of like

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Speaker 1: shift certain words whenever I'm I'm speaking to other American people.

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Speaker 1: There are words that get sort of misunderstood. So I

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Speaker 1: might say one thing and they'll be like, what does

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Speaker 1: that mean? So I'll find the American version of that

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Speaker 1: word and repeat it. And there are times when I've

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Speaker 1: had to change the accent to make sure that we're

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Speaker 1: both understanding. We get lost in translation. So I totally

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Speaker 1: understand why it might be stronger when you're speaking to me,

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Speaker 1: because now you don't have to make it any milder

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Speaker 1: because you know that I'll understand everything you say.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely. Yeah, there was this I remember when he first

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Speaker 2: moved here and my wife would be at the grocery

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Speaker 2: store and she'd be like, can I get a tin

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Speaker 2: of beans please? Like what's a tin can? Yeah, She's like,

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Speaker 2: where's the tin of this? And tin of that? And

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Speaker 2: then there was the one that I always I started

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Speaker 2: changing my language from being pounds to dollars, and so

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Speaker 2: I'd be in a video or an interview, yeah, I'd

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Speaker 2: be saying dollars and then all my all my brit

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Speaker 2: friends in the comment section would be like, oh, we

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Speaker 2: see where you are now. You know you left us now,

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Speaker 2: so yeah, what was your you were stock call right? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I'm North London. So I grew up in like wood Green, Tottenham,

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Speaker 2: Mary like that was That's where I grew up. What's

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Speaker 2: something that we kind of moved to the States around

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Speaker 2: the same time, we just found out What's something that

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Speaker 2: you miss about but you love about la.

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Speaker 1: I love the sunshine in l a. I love that

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Speaker 1: there's there's it's so bright a lot of the time,

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Speaker 1: and that it's warm a lot of the time. But

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Speaker 1: there is something really wonderful about the way the weather

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Speaker 1: changes in London in the UK, the way you get

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Speaker 1: the seasons. Obviously, I miss family. I don't get to

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Speaker 1: see them as often as as I would do if

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Speaker 1: I was there. And like silly things like biscuits, because

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Speaker 1: biscuits here are very different to biscuits there.

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Speaker 2: Which ones are your favorite biscuits?

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Speaker 1: Digestives Mcvitty's Digestives or like hobnobs.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I love rich tea.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so good, the.

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Speaker 2: One or whatever that ones are so good.

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Speaker 1: Like little things like that, you just sort of like

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Speaker 1: miss Layers also are not the same as Walkers. Walkers

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Speaker 1: are really good. Lays are good too, but all of

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Speaker 1: Walker's packets you have to find like the right Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, silly things like that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. Yeah. No, I love talking about it because

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Speaker 2: it's same for me. It's interesting you said that. I

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Speaker 2: think I often feel that sometimes when I'm back in

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Speaker 2: England and it's like, oh, you live in Hollywood now

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Speaker 2: and you live in LA And I'm like, well, no

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Speaker 2: to me. I live in LA because the weather's incredible. End.

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Speaker 2: I love waking up to a blue sky every day. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And I love the fact that I can go on

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Speaker 2: a hike. Yeah right here it can be in nature.

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Speaker 2: I hike for about two miles every day around my

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Speaker 2: home and it's just I love that. I never could

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Speaker 2: have done that in London. I never did. And at

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Speaker 2: the same time, I miss a lot of it. I

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Speaker 2: miss going to watch a football match because I love

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Speaker 2: football and so for me being able to go to

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Speaker 2: going to watch a game and like feeling the energy

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Speaker 2: of the fans, yeah, yeah, it's it's it's special. There's

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Speaker 2: like a special vibe around it. But what I like

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Speaker 2: to doing on purpose is I like to dive into

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Speaker 2: people's journeys, people's stories. Parts of them. We're not we're

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Speaker 2: not following a linear or you know, we're not trying

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Speaker 2: to do it by graphical peace, But I love diving

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Speaker 2: into stuff. And I saw that you went to a

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Speaker 2: Roman Catholic school. Yeah yeah, How is that influence now

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Speaker 2: when you look back who you are today? Positive? Things

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Speaker 2: that were challenging, Like, how do you grapple with that today?

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Speaker 1: What does it feel like growing up and going to

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Speaker 1: a Roman Catholic school.

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Speaker 2: There's a girls school too, all girls school.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's strange because I never really felt like I

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Speaker 1: totally fit in there. I believe in God, but that

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Speaker 1: sort of upbringing felt really restrictive. It's so rules based

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Speaker 1: that you sort of miss the most important parts of

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Speaker 1: what that faith is supposed to be about. And I

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Speaker 1: kind of let a lot of the Roman Catholic side

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Speaker 1: of me go just so that I create I could

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Speaker 1: create space for me to form my own understanding of

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Speaker 1: what my faith should encompass. Right now, I'm really clear

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Speaker 1: on the fact that the most important part of my

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Speaker 1: faith is to be as loving and kind to people,

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Speaker 1: to the world around me. Not just people. But I

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Speaker 1: have two dogs, so I can't take care of them

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Speaker 1: in the most loving way because I want that to

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Speaker 1: come back to me. So I believe things are really cyclical,

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Speaker 1: so if you give out something good, that good will

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Speaker 1: come back. You might not see it immediately, but somehow

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Speaker 1: it finds its way back to you. It's like a boomerang,

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Speaker 1: you know. And I think that that is really the

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Speaker 1: most important part of my faith. And I sort of

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Speaker 1: encouraged myself to really take in what is around me

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Speaker 1: so that I can appreciate the wonderful things that come.

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Speaker 1: You know, the fact that I can get up in

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Speaker 1: the morning and go for a run and it's really sunny,

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Speaker 1: and as I passed by, there are two today when

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Speaker 1: I ran, there were two women who stopped and I

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Speaker 1: saw them as they passed by, they smiled and I

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Speaker 1: was like, let's love of them smiling. And I ran

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Speaker 1: back and somehow managed to meet them again. How I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I ran three miles, I you know, just

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Speaker 1: did a quick five k, but somehow on my way

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Speaker 1: back we met in exactly the same place and they

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Speaker 1: stopped and I stopped and they just were like, we

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Speaker 1: were just really impressed. I don't know, what, what are

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Speaker 1: you running for? I'm running for the marathon. I was, oh, okay, great,

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Speaker 1: And just those little interactions are really special because well,

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Speaker 1: we don't know how either one of us is going

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Speaker 1: to influence our day, and to be able to stop

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Speaker 1: and have that conversation with the person and smile at

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Speaker 1: someone and you know, have something positive means that we've

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Speaker 1: put something positive into each other. And I think that

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Speaker 1: that is really what it is about for me. And

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Speaker 1: I understand that everyone has their own understanding of faith,

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Speaker 1: but for me, we're in Catholicism sort of doesn't give

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Speaker 1: us the space to embrace all of that.

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Speaker 2: It's always really interesting hearing someone's reflection in hindsight, because

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Speaker 2: I don't know how it felt at that time whether

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Speaker 2: it felt the same way. But I went to an

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Speaker 2: all boys school. So I went to Queen Elizabeth's Boys

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Speaker 2: School in Barnet, and I used to take like a

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Speaker 2: forty five minute bus or to an hour bus sometimes

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Speaker 2: just to get there every day. My parents had worked

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Speaker 2: really hard for me to prepare for exams to get

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Speaker 2: into this school, and it wasn't private, but it was

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Speaker 2: a great education. And at the time, it's like all

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Speaker 2: of us didn't want to go there because it was

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Speaker 2: so strict, it was so like disciplined. But I found

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Speaker 2: a few teachers there that kind of had this openness,

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Speaker 2: and so I had my art teacher at the time,

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Speaker 2: mister Buckeridge, who's still there, I believe, and we keep

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Speaker 2: in touch now and again. But he just helped me

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Speaker 2: think so differently. So in this space where they were

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Speaker 2: like rules and discipline, there was a teacher who just

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Speaker 2: kind of I just knew how to navigate enough where

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Speaker 2: you were in the rules but not too much. And

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Speaker 2: he helped me so much with my thought process and

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Speaker 2: my mindset. And now when I look back, I'm really

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Speaker 2: grateful that I have this really beautiful experience where I

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Speaker 2: feel like I have equal parts discipline, right, and equal

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Speaker 2: parts artistry, And I really embraced those two sides. I

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Speaker 2: was wondering with you, like you.

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Speaker 1: You're right, You're very right. Actually, you're really right about that,

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Speaker 1: that there is that sort of like tandem of discipline

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Speaker 1: and artistry. My favorite music teacher, my music teacher, and

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Speaker 1: a French teacher for some reason, sort of stuck to me.

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Speaker 1: Miss Ryecraft and Madame Chesley. They both just wanted me

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Speaker 1: to blossom as a creative. Madame Chesley wouldn't let me

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Speaker 1: get away without speaking some sort of French to her

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Speaker 1: all the time, and now I love the language very

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Speaker 1: much so. And Miss Ryecraft made me learn every kind

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Speaker 1: of instruments I could possibly put my hands on and

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Speaker 1: seeing everything I could possibly sing. But it also gave

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Speaker 1: me the discipline of wanting to learn, wanting to be

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Speaker 1: as good as I want to be at these particular subjects.

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Speaker 1: And you're right in that there is a wonderful sort

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Speaker 1: of melding of creativity and discipline that has definitely influenced

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Speaker 1: how I live and how I've lived so far.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I was thinking that with you because when you

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Speaker 2: brought up running, Yeah, you've got to be really disciplined.

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Speaker 2: When I see your stories or postally running literally, I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I'm an anxiety. I'm like, I'm so glad. I was like,

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Speaker 2: I'm becoming friends with Cynthia, I hope. But as long

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Speaker 2: as she doesn't invite me on a run, we're good.

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Speaker 2: Like she wants to do a hike, I could do that,

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Speaker 2: but it's you record. It's requited so much discipline, so

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Speaker 2: much energy, And that's that's all. I'm running first, and

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Speaker 2: then we'll move into your artistry. But when you look

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Speaker 2: at how much you're running, you just said you run

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Speaker 2: a half marathon.

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Speaker 1: Run a half marathon? Are over the weekend and then

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Speaker 1: this every day is about eight miles except for today,

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Speaker 1: which is supposed to be a break day. So I

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Speaker 1: did five k and then on the weekend it's sixteen

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Speaker 1: to eighteen And how do you find time.

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Speaker 2: For this in between roles and prep and like, is

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Speaker 2: this something that continues? This?

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Speaker 1: It just goes on.

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Speaker 2: That's I agree that.

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Speaker 1: Like I've been running since I was twenty. My first

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Speaker 1: marathon was twenty sixteen. I think I had one mini

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Speaker 1: break in between. I was I remember I was in

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Speaker 1: Atlantan just decided let me get back to it, and

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Speaker 1: haven't stopped since then. It's an ongoing journey that teaches

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Speaker 1: you about discipline, your stamina, how your mind works, how

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Speaker 1: you psych yourself out sometimes, how you can buoy yourself

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Speaker 1: and lift yourself up. And I gained so much from it,

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Speaker 1: believe me. There are days when I do not want

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Speaker 1: to get outside or on a treadmill and do any

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Speaker 1: of it, but that also is a moment for me

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Speaker 1: to sort of learn. There are days when yes, it's

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Speaker 1: good to stop, take a second and not do the

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Speaker 1: run today. But other days it's how can I overcome

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Speaker 1: this moment where I'm like, truly not wanting to do it?

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Speaker 1: And those days when I'm able to overcome those moments

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Speaker 1: when I'm like, I do not want to do this.

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Speaker 1: Often other days when the runs are the best, which

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Speaker 1: is very strange, but I love it. It has provided

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Speaker 1: space to think. It's provided moments where I've made friends

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Speaker 1: along the way. People are now used to seeing me

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Speaker 1: do certain routes, so I always bump into people and

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Speaker 1: I say hello, and it just it gives me a lot.

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Speaker 1: The physical aspect is, yes, your body loves it. It's

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Speaker 1: great to work out, But it's more a mental thing

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Speaker 1: than anything else. Distance running really is more mental than

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Speaker 1: physical because once your physical is done, if you get

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Speaker 1: to eighteen past half marathon, it really is sort of like, okay, mind,

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Speaker 1: how will you get past the rest of this? And

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Speaker 1: that's always a really wonderful sort of adventure.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Have you felt that that approach to anxiety and

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Speaker 2: psyching you yourself out? Have you feel that become applied

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Speaker 2: to life through that process of running? Like? Yeah, because

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Speaker 2: you give us an example of how that.

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Speaker 1: Is, Because honestly, it's those days are the step by

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Speaker 1: step days. That's that's what I call them. You just

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Speaker 1: take one step, then take the next step, and take

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Speaker 1: the next, and the next and the next, and you'll

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Speaker 1: realize at some point you're running. That's and that's essentially

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Speaker 1: what happens with me with other things. This is a

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Speaker 1: silly example. I had to redo my closet. Everything was

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Speaker 1: taken out of it, and I've had to put it

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Speaker 1: all back together again. And when I first looked at

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Speaker 1: this task, it just looked mammoth. I was like, there's

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Speaker 1: no way I'm going to get this back in order again.

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Speaker 1: And I looked at it and would go away and

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Speaker 1: go I'm not it's not going to get done. I

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Speaker 1: can't do it. I can't do it. And then one

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Speaker 1: day I just said, just start, just start to start.

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Speaker 1: Nothing else after that. If you just start, something will

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Speaker 1: get done. Even if it's like one small section, you

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Speaker 1: will have started, and the next day just start again.

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Speaker 1: It's the same for it from learning a piece or

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Speaker 1: a song that just won't stay. I'll just start, learn

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Speaker 1: the first line and just keep going over the first line,

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Speaker 1: and sooner or later the first line will be in

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Speaker 1: there and you want to go into the next line.

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Speaker 1: You do a piece, or you're playing a character you

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Speaker 1: just can't understand. Just read the lines. Read the lines,

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Speaker 1: find out what other people are saying, find out what

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Speaker 1: the journey is, and then sooner or later you'll want

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Speaker 1: to get to know this character. Another way to get

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Speaker 1: to know this character is probably to learn the character.

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Speaker 1: And when you learn the character, well you've learned the character.

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Speaker 1: Now you know it. All these sort of little mountains

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Speaker 1: or trials, they're just they aren't always easy, but if

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Speaker 1: you just start, you might be able to get over them.

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Speaker 1: Even when you're running hills. I never look at that,

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Speaker 1: And you know, sometimes you're told look straight ahead. I

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Speaker 1: always look at the bit in front of me. My

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Speaker 1: eyes are never pointed upward. When I'm walking up a hill.

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Speaker 1: I'm always like, if I can just get my foot

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Speaker 1: in front of this next foot, and if I could

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Speaker 1: just keep going bit by bit by bit, as sooner

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Speaker 1: or later, when I look up, I'll be at the

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Speaker 1: top of the hill. And that's always what's happened. And

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Speaker 1: it's the one thing that doesn't that keeps me from

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Speaker 1: stopping in the middle of a hill. I just keep going,

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Speaker 1: one foot in the front of the other. My eyes

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Speaker 1: are pointed downwards because I know that there's only one

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Speaker 1: foot that keep can that the only thing that can

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Speaker 1: happen is I'm going to put my foot in front

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Speaker 1: of my foot again. And then eventually the hill sort

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Speaker 1: of flattens out, and you're like, oh, I got there,

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Speaker 1: I made it, Okay, Yeah, I keep going. It's good.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so powerful. I love that perspective because I

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Speaker 2: think you are right there. We've kind of been trained

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Speaker 2: in society to look at the goal, look at the target,

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Speaker 2: figure out the end point. And you're so right that

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Speaker 2: if you ever try and run or whatever you do,

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Speaker 2: whether it's hiking or anything, swimming or whatever. If you're

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Speaker 2: looking at the end constantly, you'll keep measuring how far

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Speaker 2: you are away from exactly. I know that I don't

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Speaker 2: run anywhere close to as much as you do. But

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Speaker 2: when I have ever run before, when I have looked

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Speaker 2: at the end, I'm just like, how am I going

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Speaker 2: to get so far away? I'm still so far away? Okay,

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Speaker 2: I'll get to that point and then I'll walk and

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Speaker 2: then you know whatever, and then you start negotiating with yourself, right,

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Speaker 2: rather than if you are just looking at it. It's

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Speaker 2: the same when we were taught to meditate as monks.

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Speaker 2: I lived as a month for three years, and when

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Speaker 2: we were trained in that practice, we always meditated on beads.

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Speaker 2: And you get this beautiful set of beads. So I

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Speaker 2: still have them today, and there's one hundred and eight

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Speaker 2: of them, which is a sacred number. And you're told

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Speaker 2: to just focus on one bead at a time, right,

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Speaker 2: And the mind is like, oh, I've got to get

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Speaker 2: one hundred and eight beads and you've got to do

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Speaker 2: this multiple times and whatever it is. And so we're talking, no,

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Speaker 2: just one bead at a time, one step at a time. One,

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Speaker 2: you know, and just start. I love that as I

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Speaker 2: love that as a view of like, just start today

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Speaker 2: and you'll thank yourself later. You'll figure it out.

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Speaker 1: I can't tell you how many times people have asked,

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Speaker 1: how do you how do you even do that? How

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Speaker 1: do you run so much? I like, I want to start,

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Speaker 1: I'm not sure what to do, and how like I'm

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Speaker 1: never going to be able to run that distance. No

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Speaker 1: one is asking you to run that distance. Just go

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Speaker 1: outside and stop. Yeah, that's it, putting your sneakers. Even

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Speaker 1: if you only make it to the door, that's more

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Speaker 1: than you did yesterday. Yes, and then maybe you'll make

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Speaker 1: it in front of the door tomorrow, and then maybe

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Speaker 1: you'll make it just down your street. That is a run. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: five minutes of running is a run. Yes, it doesn't

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Speaker 1: need to be half an hour, an hour, two hours,

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Speaker 1: Two minutes is a run. Just start. Just a little

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Speaker 1: bit is enough and then you'll find more later. You'll

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Speaker 1: find that you are asking. Your mind is asking your

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Speaker 1: body is asking for a little bit more because the

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Speaker 1: five minutes that you did is now what I can

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Speaker 1: do that I'll do more.

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Speaker 2: Then. This episode is brought to you by eight sleep.

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411
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Speaker 2: your sleep and the environment that you're in. My eight

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00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:53,760
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431
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432
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433
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434
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444
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Speaker 2: Eight Sleep currently ships within the USA, Canada, the UK,

445
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:48,280
Speaker 2: select countries in the EU and Australia. Were you always athletic? Like,

446
00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:50,159
Speaker 2: was that always a part of your life growing up?

447
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,760
Speaker 1: Like, Yeah, I've always I've always been athletic, whether it

448
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:57,040
Speaker 1: be dance or sport. I was a sprinter when I

449
00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:59,919
Speaker 1: was younger, That's what I sort of wanted to do.

450
00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:03,240
Speaker 1: And then my very first sort of distance round was

451
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:06,800
Speaker 1: a five K and it was for cancer research, and

452
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:10,160
Speaker 1: I just wanted to do something and I saw this

453
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:15,600
Speaker 1: run happening in a park nearby, and I started doing it,

454
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:18,080
Speaker 1: and I don't know, I sort of was telling myself

455
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:19,639
Speaker 1: that I can't run outside. I'm not going to be

456
00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:23,000
Speaker 1: able to and then I just figured it out, just

457
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:25,639
Speaker 1: w I'll just find a route And that's sort of

458
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:28,639
Speaker 1: what happened. And I haven't really stopped since then.

459
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:32,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, when you applied that to your career, Now, did

460
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:35,720
Speaker 2: little Cynthia ever think that? You know? And I don't

461
00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:38,159
Speaker 2: want to simplify, and I'm very careful about this. I

462
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:42,480
Speaker 2: never like to simplify someone's success to external accomplishments and awards.

463
00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:46,639
Speaker 2: But did little Cynthia like growing up in stockworld, like

464
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:48,439
Speaker 2: you know, and you look at the journey you've been on,

465
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:53,680
Speaker 2: and you know Emmy, Grammy, Tony and more importantly, you've

466
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:57,760
Speaker 2: paid iconic people who transformed culture. And your work is

467
00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:03,560
Speaker 2: educating people on these incredible personalities that history can try

468
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:05,800
Speaker 2: to forget or doesn't know enough about, or doesn't know

469
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,359
Speaker 2: the depth of the story. Like, what would little Cynthia

470
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:08,800
Speaker 2: say to you?

471
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:09,040
Speaker 1: Now?

472
00:24:09,119 --> 00:24:11,080
Speaker 2: Like looking at all of that like, who believed in

473
00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:13,919
Speaker 2: you back then? Like was there? Did your parents? Did

474
00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:17,280
Speaker 2: your family? Like? Who knew this was possible? Did anyone?

475
00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:20,760
Speaker 1: My mom believed in me sort of from the beginning.

476
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:24,320
Speaker 1: She knew when I was a kid that that was

477
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:27,080
Speaker 1: sort of what I was going to do. Apparently I

478
00:24:27,119 --> 00:24:30,600
Speaker 1: would hum when I ate, so she she was like,

479
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:32,800
Speaker 1: it's probably going to be a singer or an actor.

480
00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:36,600
Speaker 1: So that sort of, like it was came at no

481
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:38,639
Speaker 1: surprise to her that this is what I sort of

482
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:43,560
Speaker 1: wanted to do. And my sister, you know, has always

483
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:46,720
Speaker 1: been around for everything that happened to her. She's always

484
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,359
Speaker 1: believed in it and has come to some of the

485
00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:51,280
Speaker 1: shows and seen some things. And you know, I have

486
00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:55,520
Speaker 1: really wonderful friends, Mum. One of my friends, pri Hakeem,

487
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:59,159
Speaker 1: who I've known for almost seventeen or eighteen years at

488
00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:01,919
Speaker 1: this point, has just always been there and like always

489
00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:05,119
Speaker 1: has gotten it and believed in me. And I have

490
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:07,679
Speaker 1: some really incredible friends who I'm getting to watch do

491
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:11,199
Speaker 1: amazing things now as well, but they also believe in me.

492
00:25:11,359 --> 00:25:14,879
Speaker 1: And I've been lucky enough to be surrounded by some

493
00:25:15,119 --> 00:25:19,879
Speaker 1: wonderful people. Little Cynthia believed in herself, although I'm not

494
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:25,280
Speaker 1: entirely sure that she knew how much was coming. She

495
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:27,360
Speaker 1: sort of kept her head down and just was like, wow,

496
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:30,560
Speaker 1: too much. It was always a game of like, i'll

497
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:34,600
Speaker 1: try this. Okay, I'll do that. Now I'm game to like,

498
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:37,639
Speaker 1: I'll do some backing vocals for this person, I'll go

499
00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:40,199
Speaker 1: and sing it at this sort of club and do

500
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:43,160
Speaker 1: all those things, and I'll try this young access course.

501
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:47,520
Speaker 1: And there's just like it's a combination of yes, hard work,

502
00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:52,560
Speaker 1: but also loving the adventure and wanting to try new

503
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:57,320
Speaker 1: things and wanting to not miss out on something if

504
00:25:57,359 --> 00:26:01,120
Speaker 1: I don't enjoy, you know, I think that she would

505
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:03,840
Speaker 1: probably pat me on the back and give me the

506
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,040
Speaker 1: mischievous look that I give most people when I'm like

507
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:09,880
Speaker 1: that's good, and be really really happy, and then she'd

508
00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:11,639
Speaker 1: be like, what else are we going to do?

509
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:12,439
Speaker 2: Yeah?

510
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:13,479
Speaker 1: What else can we do?

511
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:17,480
Speaker 2: That's awesome? Yeah, I love that. And it's so I

512
00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:20,159
Speaker 2: actually realized it's more and more that a lot of

513
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:23,440
Speaker 2: people that I speak to did have people that believed

514
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 2: in them, Like there was that, and I love hearing that.

515
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,760
Speaker 2: I think it's important to normalize that too, where it's like, hey,

516
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:31,920
Speaker 2: if you believe in your kids. It's great, it's good. Yeah,

517
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,240
Speaker 2: yeah you should. And then if there's people out there

518
00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:35,920
Speaker 2: who grew up with parents who didn't believe in them,

519
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:38,240
Speaker 2: yeah that's great. You get resilient that way. But it's

520
00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:41,080
Speaker 2: beautiful to hear that there's two ways. There's not like this,

521
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:43,720
Speaker 2: Oh well, you should have had everyone telling you you're

522
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:45,199
Speaker 2: never going to make it and that's the only way.

523
00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:46,840
Speaker 2: And you're like, I, actually I had really good friends

524
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:47,240
Speaker 2: around me.

525
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:50,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you know, And I think I just sort

526
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:53,560
Speaker 1: of like have been consistently sort of finding my tribe

527
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 1: and finding people who who are challenging me and wanting

528
00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:01,119
Speaker 1: me to keep being better and keep doing things that

529
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,040
Speaker 1: are different and than there are those friends who are

530
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:05,919
Speaker 1: just we're here when you want to have like a

531
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:08,760
Speaker 1: normal day and a cap of ty and like sit

532
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:12,120
Speaker 1: down and chat, and we need both. And I love

533
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:15,879
Speaker 1: that balance because it is kind of what life is

534
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:19,840
Speaker 1: made of. There's never always just the one way to be,

535
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:22,680
Speaker 1: and I think both influenced the other.

536
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:26,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, you've been known for playing so many iconic people.

537
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:28,760
Speaker 2: Now when was a role where a role that you've

538
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:31,920
Speaker 2: played that you feel you loved but it wasn't as

539
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:36,639
Speaker 2: well known or it was something that maybe wasn't as successful,

540
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:39,679
Speaker 2: but that you really found that you just fell in

541
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:42,119
Speaker 2: love with it, and that it became a part of you.

542
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:46,480
Speaker 1: I'm going to say Holly Gibney in The Outsider, although

543
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:52,719
Speaker 1: that did pretty well, That did pretty well. I've loved

544
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,680
Speaker 1: the roles that I've played, and I've picked I picked

545
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:59,120
Speaker 1: them really specifically because I want to get to know

546
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:02,080
Speaker 1: this person. And you know, if I always say this,

547
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:04,560
Speaker 1: if I if I haven't met this person before, either

548
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:07,240
Speaker 1: on screen or in life, I'd like to meet them.

549
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:10,520
Speaker 1: So I that's why I play them. I want to

550
00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:12,480
Speaker 1: get to know who they are and what makes them tick.

551
00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:16,639
Speaker 1: And Holly was just so different. She just she was

552
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:22,520
Speaker 1: very hard to shake. She was a woman who found

553
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:27,399
Speaker 1: it hard to communicate, but really all she wanted was

554
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:33,800
Speaker 1: connection and so had to learn to find ways to

555
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:38,000
Speaker 1: make herself understood and when she was misunderstood would be

556
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:43,040
Speaker 1: deeply hurt by it. Extremely intelligent, a brilliant, brilliant mind,

557
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:47,440
Speaker 1: but also deeply loving in the most individual way. And

558
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:50,520
Speaker 1: I just had never played anyone like her before I had.

559
00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:55,400
Speaker 1: And what's wonderful about that particular role is I get

560
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:59,680
Speaker 1: everyone from every different type of walk of life in

561
00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:02,280
Speaker 1: any place, sort of going that show that you did

562
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:07,000
Speaker 1: on HBO with Holly given that I loved it, she

563
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:09,840
Speaker 1: was one of my favorites. Or remember a person said

564
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:15,080
Speaker 1: to me he was connecting with his system more because

565
00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:18,480
Speaker 1: of this particular role and realize that, oh, my sister

566
00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:22,240
Speaker 1: just communicates in a different way than I do. And

567
00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:24,880
Speaker 1: this was the thing that joined us together. And I thought,

568
00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:29,160
Speaker 1: that's what it's about, making pieces that allow people to

569
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:30,200
Speaker 1: connect with each other.

570
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:32,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, Yeah, that's beautiful. I love hearing that

571
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:35,440
Speaker 2: as well because it's and it's what I appreciate about

572
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:37,480
Speaker 2: our conversation last time. As I was saying earlier, it

573
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:40,840
Speaker 2: was like the way you think about characters and the

574
00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:43,440
Speaker 2: way you get into them. I'm fascinated by that, and

575
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 2: I love geeking out and like I love seeing people

576
00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:49,960
Speaker 2: obsessed with their art, Like that's what gets me excited

577
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:52,440
Speaker 2: in life. It's like when I meet someone who's obsessed

578
00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:54,560
Speaker 2: about what they do, because I'm obsessed with what I

579
00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 2: do and I can never understand how you obsess over

580
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:00,280
Speaker 2: the things you do. Can you describe to me again,

581
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:01,960
Speaker 2: because you told me about this last time, but I

582
00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:04,240
Speaker 2: want to hear it again. For on purpose for this community,

583
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:06,560
Speaker 2: because you were talking about how like when you're playing

584
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:08,800
Speaker 2: roles you look at how people walk, Oh yeah, And

585
00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:11,240
Speaker 2: I was like, and how they talk to figure out

586
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:13,720
Speaker 2: their pitch and then like the rhythm of their walk

587
00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 2: and the pacer, And I was just like, I would

588
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:18,360
Speaker 2: never think of any of that, But because it tells

589
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:21,640
Speaker 2: you so much, walk us through when you meet a

590
00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:24,800
Speaker 2: new character, walk us through how you understand them. Yeah.

591
00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:27,160
Speaker 1: So when I meet a new character up here, I'll

592
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:28,840
Speaker 1: read a scripts and the first thing I think of,

593
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:31,840
Speaker 1: what is the rhythm of this person? Usually there's a

594
00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:34,720
Speaker 1: rhythm sort of written in in the way they speak,

595
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:37,360
Speaker 1: in the way that in their syntax and the words

596
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:40,120
Speaker 1: they use. When you find that rhythm, you sort of

597
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:43,160
Speaker 1: find their internal like heartbeat, You find their heartbeat. And

598
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:44,800
Speaker 1: then I'm sort of like, well, how do they move?

599
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:47,200
Speaker 1: What is it that they're looking for? Is there an

600
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:50,760
Speaker 1: urgency to how they move? If they walk fast, are

601
00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:53,640
Speaker 1: they moving away from something? Are they trying to get

602
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:56,560
Speaker 1: to something quickly? Do they think fast or if they

603
00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 1: move slowly? Are they apprehensive about something or are they

604
00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:02,520
Speaker 1: really laid back about things? Do they have nothing to

605
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:07,479
Speaker 1: worry about? If they're anxious. Maybe that's why they move fast,

606
00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:10,200
Speaker 1: or maybe it's the opposite. Maybe they're so anxious that

607
00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:13,000
Speaker 1: they are paralyzed that they can't move at all, So

608
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:15,520
Speaker 1: they move really slowly because what if I get there

609
00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:18,080
Speaker 1: and something happens? And so I just sort of like

610
00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:22,640
Speaker 1: find what fits on this person. And then it's about, well,

611
00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:27,160
Speaker 1: how do they speak if they are confident, Well, maybe

612
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 1: they don't need to make themselves sound really sweet, and

613
00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:34,240
Speaker 1: so their voices aren't as high pitch, or maybe they

614
00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:36,480
Speaker 1: are sort of held, and so they're a little bit

615
00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:40,200
Speaker 1: quiet and things feel a little bit whispered. And there's

616
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:44,880
Speaker 1: a really interesting documentary about Princess Diana and I she's

617
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:48,920
Speaker 1: really fun to listen to because her voice changes as

618
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:51,680
Speaker 1: the years go by. When you first meet her, it's

619
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:55,080
Speaker 1: almost like she's whispering and swallowing the words, and she

620
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:57,200
Speaker 1: doesn't really use her mouth very much, and it's very

621
00:31:57,280 --> 00:32:01,200
Speaker 1: quiet and very reserved. And as you meet her as

622
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 1: the years go by, when she's sort of like, now

623
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:05,760
Speaker 1: I know who I am, she starts to use her

624
00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:10,200
Speaker 1: mouth more. So she sounds really rounded. And that's sort

625
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:13,120
Speaker 1: of what you're discovering about these people. And I love that.

626
00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:16,080
Speaker 1: I love trying to find out what is this person?

627
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:20,280
Speaker 1: How do they grow? And do they grow through through

628
00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:23,600
Speaker 1: meeting them and through these episodes through the film. Does

629
00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:27,000
Speaker 1: it change? Does it shift? Do they move more confidently?

630
00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:31,320
Speaker 1: Do they move more smoothly? Are they quick? Are they darted?

631
00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:35,720
Speaker 1: So many questions I would ask myself, and then silly

632
00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:39,880
Speaker 1: things like what scent do they use? Because we all

633
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:43,480
Speaker 1: have sense memory, So if there's a particular scent they use,

634
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:46,480
Speaker 1: is it because it reminds them of something? And when

635
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:48,840
Speaker 1: I put that scent on, does it make me think

636
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:52,680
Speaker 1: of something? Or do they like makeup? And if they

637
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:54,960
Speaker 1: do like makeup, is there a particular way they do it?

638
00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:57,840
Speaker 1: Do they want their eyebrows messy or do they want

639
00:32:57,840 --> 00:33:00,400
Speaker 1: them very tidy? When they put the clothes on, are

640
00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:03,200
Speaker 1: they looking for comfort or not? With Holly, I always

641
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:06,280
Speaker 1: wore a button up because it felt like protection. Her

642
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 1: neck was covered, and she was wore comfortable shoes so

643
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:13,280
Speaker 1: she could move easily and she wouldn't think about her feet.

644
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:17,400
Speaker 1: But those things are you know, they change. With Aretha,

645
00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 1: she needed heels and she needed a look and she

646
00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:24,080
Speaker 1: did her eyebrows particularly, and they were a particular shape

647
00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:27,920
Speaker 1: with an inky black line, you know. And with Seay

648
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:31,280
Speaker 1: it changed when she put trousers on. She could walk better,

649
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:34,080
Speaker 1: and she had a heel, a thick, blocky heel that

650
00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:36,880
Speaker 1: meant that she could like make sound when she moved.

651
00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:40,640
Speaker 1: Before then she was in a shorter heel with that

652
00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:43,480
Speaker 1: was like a soft shoe that made no sound at all.

653
00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:45,960
Speaker 1: So it meant that she could move really quickly because

654
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:48,800
Speaker 1: if she didn't move quickly, she'd be in danger. So

655
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:51,840
Speaker 1: it's about that how do you find all the things

656
00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:54,920
Speaker 1: that make this person around person so that when you

657
00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:58,400
Speaker 1: when you meet them on screen, you're like, oh, I

658
00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:02,680
Speaker 1: can see this person and their three dimensional, four dimensional

659
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:05,760
Speaker 1: and not just someone that I read a script on.

660
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:10,960
Speaker 2: Where did that ability and skill come from? Because obviously

661
00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:12,560
Speaker 2: it can be seen as a technique, but when you

662
00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:15,160
Speaker 2: talk about it, it's not a technique. It's something that

663
00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:16,880
Speaker 2: you know. It's it's not just like, oh, you've read

664
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:19,439
Speaker 2: that in a book and yeah, it's it's how you

665
00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:22,319
Speaker 2: think and how you feel and how you empathize with

666
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:24,759
Speaker 2: this person. Even when you were talking about Diana, there's

667
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:27,560
Speaker 2: someone obviously who've not played. It's like, but you're watching

668
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:30,759
Speaker 2: that and you're you're able to observe that where did

669
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:32,920
Speaker 2: that skill come from? How did it develop? Do you remember,

670
00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:35,239
Speaker 2: like where when did you start? Did you start doing

671
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:36,879
Speaker 2: that when you watch TV when you were a kid,

672
00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:39,799
Speaker 2: or did you you know where? Yeah, where did it

673
00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:40,280
Speaker 2: come from?

674
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:42,800
Speaker 1: Not even sure when it started. I think I've always

675
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:46,640
Speaker 1: been a people watcher. I think I've always observed how

676
00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:49,879
Speaker 1: people move, how people are, so that I can better

677
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:53,560
Speaker 1: communicate with them myself. I haven't always been perfect, but

678
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:57,160
Speaker 1: like that seems to be my sort of cheat code

679
00:34:57,239 --> 00:35:03,000
Speaker 1: to knowing what a person needs from me in conversation.

680
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:07,399
Speaker 1: I sometimes watch people's lips to make sure that I'm

681
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:13,239
Speaker 1: really listening, you know, or watch their eyes, because those

682
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:17,120
Speaker 1: are the places that give you what the emotional life

683
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:19,759
Speaker 1: of a person is. And I think I've always just

684
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:23,440
Speaker 1: applied that to my everyday life. And then when I

685
00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:26,400
Speaker 1: went to drama school, I was he learning about actioning

686
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:28,520
Speaker 1: and making sure that there is a reason for something

687
00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:31,040
Speaker 1: and what is the reason for the thing you're saying.

688
00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:34,200
Speaker 1: What we say is fifty percent of what we mean.

689
00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:39,600
Speaker 1: Often how we say it, and what we're thinking as

690
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:41,680
Speaker 1: we say it. The words and aren't necessarily the thing

691
00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:44,840
Speaker 1: that we're thinking they're just a representation of how we're feeling.

692
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:48,120
Speaker 1: And until you know, when we're not afraid, the words

693
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:51,440
Speaker 1: are the thing that we're thinking. But often with people,

694
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:53,239
Speaker 1: when we're saying the thing that we think, the other

695
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:56,680
Speaker 1: person wishes to hear as opposed to what we want

696
00:35:56,800 --> 00:36:02,360
Speaker 1: to say. And so I learn about that in drama

697
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:05,520
Speaker 1: school and then just applied it to the bigger, you know,

698
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:08,960
Speaker 1: space of my life. And then I you know, as

699
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:12,640
Speaker 1: you get older, you start to want to connect with people,

700
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:18,480
Speaker 1: and that desire to connect properly with people, I think

701
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:21,600
Speaker 1: just feeds into my work. I want people to connect

702
00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:25,640
Speaker 1: with the people I get to play, and I call

703
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:28,640
Speaker 1: them people because I don't see them as just characters.

704
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:32,439
Speaker 1: When you see the people you're playing, or what people

705
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:37,160
Speaker 1: would know as characters, as whole and realized people, you

706
00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:39,520
Speaker 1: get to know them better, which means you get to

707
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:44,600
Speaker 1: give another person, introduce a person to everybody watching, and

708
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:48,200
Speaker 1: so they get to connect and feel as though these

709
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:50,759
Speaker 1: are real people out in the world that I might

710
00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:55,560
Speaker 1: not come in contact with, but they exist, and I

711
00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:58,960
Speaker 1: want that for the people that I play. That's the

712
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:02,280
Speaker 1: desire for connect consistently with my characters.

713
00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:05,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, do you do you feel that sometimes? And I

714
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:09,040
Speaker 2: coach a lot of people who act and stuff, not

715
00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:14,120
Speaker 2: in acting obviously in life and work, but how do

716
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:17,480
Speaker 2: you often feel as well that sometimes those people become

717
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:20,319
Speaker 2: a part of you and that do do you try

718
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:22,279
Speaker 2: and shed them? Do you try hold onto them? Like?

719
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:24,440
Speaker 2: Do you do you like that? Like? Because I don't

720
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:27,080
Speaker 2: think that's talked about enough. I think we hear about

721
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:29,640
Speaker 2: in the extreme sense, is a method acting gone wrong

722
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:32,600
Speaker 2: or like when it leads to like, you know, the

723
00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:35,160
Speaker 2: tragic event of someone taking their own life, and we

724
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:37,560
Speaker 2: hear about and there's very extreme, but I don't think

725
00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:41,080
Speaker 2: we talk about it enough with actors who are you know,

726
00:37:41,239 --> 00:37:43,680
Speaker 2: going about their day taking on new roles, and like

727
00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:47,440
Speaker 2: how long it takes to become someone and then lose someone?

728
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:49,760
Speaker 2: And you know, like right now, everyone saying Austin Butler

729
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:52,640
Speaker 2: sounds like Elvis in every interview, And the thing is.

730
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:55,439
Speaker 1: I feel for him because I know that that he's

731
00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:58,240
Speaker 1: not putting that on. Yeah, of course not it happens,

732
00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:02,319
Speaker 1: and it's very different for every single person. But for me,

733
00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:07,560
Speaker 1: it takes a while to lose a character because if

734
00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:10,320
Speaker 1: you've done your job correctly, they weren't just a character.

735
00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:12,760
Speaker 1: They were a part of you. You had to infuse

736
00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:17,239
Speaker 1: this person with some of you, and they have to

737
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:20,760
Speaker 1: come from you. They're in your body. They use your voice,

738
00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:23,919
Speaker 1: they use your face, they use your mannerisms. You create

739
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:26,719
Speaker 1: them together. They take up space within you. They take

740
00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:28,640
Speaker 1: up a little bit of your heart because you have

741
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:30,799
Speaker 1: to mean in the things you're saying. And when you

742
00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:35,200
Speaker 1: finish the role, usually after a couple of months, three months,

743
00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:38,479
Speaker 1: sometimes six, I'm about to play a character for a year.

744
00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 1: They are a part of you. And what people don't

745
00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:48,800
Speaker 1: realize is your body doesn't realize that it's not real.

746
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:53,960
Speaker 1: It thinks that this thing happening is you. It's real.

747
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:58,279
Speaker 1: So you have to at the end of it, let

748
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:01,359
Speaker 1: your body know that it's okay to let this thing go.

749
00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:04,760
Speaker 1: But it's going to take a while because you've learned

750
00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:07,080
Speaker 1: to teach your body to do it. Quickly, get to

751
00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:11,239
Speaker 1: that person, Quickly, remove the thing that you know is

752
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:14,040
Speaker 1: your everyday life, and get to the person that you're

753
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:19,440
Speaker 1: playing every day quickly. That's what you want, the quicker access.

754
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:22,640
Speaker 1: So now the access is really quick and to the

755
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:25,000
Speaker 1: point where, well, now you don't really have to think

756
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:28,279
Speaker 1: about getting into the role because you're already there. You

757
00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:29,759
Speaker 1: wake up in the morning, you know, oh, I'm going

758
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:31,040
Speaker 1: to put this on and this is and there we go.

759
00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:32,960
Speaker 1: Do you look at your mirror and I'm here. There

760
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:36,239
Speaker 1: we go. Hi, nice to meet you. And at the

761
00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:40,440
Speaker 1: end of a project, it takes some time. Some projects

762
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:43,320
Speaker 1: are easier, like getting out of the Blue Faery very easy.

763
00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:45,120
Speaker 1: I didn't have to shoot for very long, so it's

764
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:48,040
Speaker 1: lovely and I know it's fantasy and it didn't cost

765
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:52,200
Speaker 1: me too much. Getting out of Aretha, getting out of Harriet,

766
00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:56,040
Speaker 1: getting out of Holly very different things because I was

767
00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:59,520
Speaker 1: there for months with these people. Holly was hilarious because

768
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:02,520
Speaker 1: she had a to her walk was very different. Someone

769
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:06,040
Speaker 1: sent me a video of me walking about on set

770
00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:09,600
Speaker 1: and I was like, that is not me. That's not me.

771
00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:14,080
Speaker 1: Posture was different, warp was different. Wait, the way I

772
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:18,000
Speaker 1: moved my head was different. The way I spoke to people,

773
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:21,120
Speaker 1: and even my hair and makeup team were sort of

774
00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:23,839
Speaker 1: like you would come into trailer and it was not you.

775
00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:27,440
Speaker 1: That's not who we met. We met Holly most of

776
00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:29,560
Speaker 1: the time, and it would take a while to let

777
00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:32,520
Speaker 1: them go. The person I just played. Her name's Jacqueline.

778
00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:38,320
Speaker 1: I spent three four months with her, and I still

779
00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:41,880
Speaker 1: remember everything she went through as though it was me.

780
00:40:42,719 --> 00:40:46,319
Speaker 1: And it takes time. If you mean it, it will

781
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:46,839
Speaker 1: take time.

782
00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:47,640
Speaker 2: Support.

783
00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:51,760
Speaker 1: Austin Butler is walking around with this accent because I imagine

784
00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:54,719
Speaker 1: he shot this film for six months to a year,

785
00:40:55,440 --> 00:40:59,640
Speaker 1: so had to learn this sound. And when you learn

786
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:03,719
Speaker 1: an it doesn't just leave you. You know, he may

787
00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:07,040
Speaker 1: slip into it just Biax not even thinking about it,

788
00:41:07,480 --> 00:41:10,400
Speaker 1: because that's the person he played. He paid, he played

789
00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:16,000
Speaker 1: a person that existed for six to nine months or

790
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:20,200
Speaker 1: something and prepare and prepared it before then and then

791
00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:24,880
Speaker 1: rehearsed it and then sang the songs like well, he

792
00:41:25,719 --> 00:41:29,759
Speaker 1: put a voice on top of his own. That's not

793
00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:33,200
Speaker 1: going to go because the film is over. There's no

794
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:33,719
Speaker 1: way it can.

795
00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:36,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, how does that affect your relationships during that time?

796
00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:38,879
Speaker 2: Like I wonder, how does that affect your personal life?

797
00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:42,000
Speaker 2: Because because like you're saying, it's not as easy as

798
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:43,960
Speaker 2: like on off, on off. You know, it's not like

799
00:41:43,960 --> 00:41:46,920
Speaker 2: there's a switch. Yeah, how does that affect like your.

800
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:49,720
Speaker 1: Friend it's always easy, but if you have people around

801
00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:53,879
Speaker 1: you that are understanding of the job you're doing, there's

802
00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:57,960
Speaker 1: just patient with you. I have been savvy enough to

803
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:01,440
Speaker 1: get myself a really good therapist so I can talk

804
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:04,839
Speaker 1: about it. Talking about it really helps to let go

805
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:09,120
Speaker 1: of it because you can find the separation between yourself

806
00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:11,839
Speaker 1: and the person you are playing. The more you talk

807
00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:14,680
Speaker 1: about it, the less it's you, and the more you

808
00:42:15,080 --> 00:42:17,560
Speaker 1: let them go. The more you allow your body the

809
00:42:17,640 --> 00:42:21,600
Speaker 1: permission to let go of something which is a life lesson,

810
00:42:21,719 --> 00:42:24,120
Speaker 1: not just an acting lesson, the easier it becomes to

811
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:24,680
Speaker 1: let it go.

812
00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:27,239
Speaker 2: What was your reason for going to therapy? Was that?

813
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:29,160
Speaker 2: The reason was that part of it? Or yes?

814
00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:34,680
Speaker 1: That and just like life things things you know, I

815
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:39,279
Speaker 1: my mum raised me, my father wasn't around, and those

816
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:44,480
Speaker 1: we don't realize that that sticks to the bones of

817
00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:46,359
Speaker 1: a person. You don't realize it because it comes out

818
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:50,760
Speaker 1: in different ways. And I just wanted to be freer

819
00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:54,800
Speaker 1: of that. So I wanted to give myself more access

820
00:42:55,719 --> 00:43:00,000
Speaker 1: to the fully emotional parts of myself. And in order

821
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:02,640
Speaker 1: to do that, I had to let go of any

822
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:07,920
Speaker 1: resentment or any upset. And it doesn't go overnight, but

823
00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:12,440
Speaker 1: it helps to create space. I wanted to be just

824
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:17,360
Speaker 1: better at understanding relationships I have in general, where I

825
00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:24,520
Speaker 1: am mistaking something for hurt as opposed to if I'm

826
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:28,799
Speaker 1: thinking someone is being mean, I need to know what

827
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:31,960
Speaker 1: are they going through? Also because it might not be vindictive,

828
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:34,880
Speaker 1: it might not be a mean thing. It might just

829
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:38,120
Speaker 1: be that they are also hurting. But is what in

830
00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:41,960
Speaker 1: me is seeing their hurt as mean? Am I hurting

831
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:45,759
Speaker 1: in a place? So it's just finding better ways to

832
00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:49,359
Speaker 1: communicate with people. Therapies really helped me with that, Like

833
00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:52,480
Speaker 1: how do I want to communicate best with people? How

834
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:54,920
Speaker 1: can I show up as my best self? And that's

835
00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:59,239
Speaker 1: not always to lay the groundwork for really great communication.

836
00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:01,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's a really beautiful way. I've never

837
00:44:01,960 --> 00:44:05,040
Speaker 2: heard it described like that. Yeah, I actually think that's

838
00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:08,839
Speaker 2: a really refreshing description because it's almost like, I think

839
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:15,319
Speaker 2: we literally run from conflict here, yes, unease here, discomfort yeah,

840
00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:19,080
Speaker 2: And it's like personally, professionally, family, whatever it may be,

841
00:44:19,120 --> 00:44:21,719
Speaker 2: and you're just you're running from discomfort to discomfort to

842
00:44:21,719 --> 00:44:23,719
Speaker 2: discompany and you never had time to think about it. Yeah,

843
00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:26,000
Speaker 2: you never had time to prepare. Yeah, you never had

844
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:28,880
Speaker 2: time to debrief, Like you know, you may do that

845
00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:32,120
Speaker 2: at work, but when do you debrief personally after an

846
00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:37,120
Speaker 2: altercation with someone and therapy or coaching or the ability

847
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:39,640
Speaker 2: to talk to someone in your life, like you get

848
00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:42,359
Speaker 2: to start going, oh, well, I've actually thought about this, right,

849
00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:45,000
Speaker 2: and here's how I feel about it, rather than I'm

850
00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:47,120
Speaker 2: just feeling, I'm just feeling. I'm just feeling.

851
00:44:47,480 --> 00:44:50,839
Speaker 1: And also those feelings end up being exacerbated because you're

852
00:44:50,920 --> 00:44:54,160
Speaker 1: just talking to yourself. Yes, you can't really process something

853
00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:58,480
Speaker 1: if you're just talking to yourself. You need ears that

854
00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:02,399
Speaker 1: can say, well, well, I know that you're feeling that,

855
00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:06,160
Speaker 1: but here's what I'm hearing as you say this to me.

856
00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:11,040
Speaker 1: That has been a wonderful game changer. When the words

857
00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:13,879
Speaker 1: that you're saying are not actually the thing that you

858
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:16,759
Speaker 1: are saying. Yeah, that's not what you're feeling. The thing

859
00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:17,879
Speaker 1: you're saying is not the thing.

860
00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:21,040
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, And that's what we all struggle with, is

861
00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:24,640
Speaker 2: that we are This misalignment between what we're thinking and

862
00:45:24,719 --> 00:45:30,279
Speaker 2: saying and feeling is so much more widespread than we think. Yeah, yeah, Well,

863
00:45:30,480 --> 00:45:34,040
Speaker 2: what's a belief that you think that you held once

864
00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:37,080
Speaker 2: about yourself that led you down a scary path or

865
00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:39,240
Speaker 2: a wrong path? Is there a belief or a value

866
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:41,640
Speaker 2: or an idea you held about yourself that you think

867
00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:43,840
Speaker 2: didn't take you in a great direction.

868
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:46,000
Speaker 1: I don't know that there is anything like that. I

869
00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:49,440
Speaker 1: think just little things that come up. Sometimes you question

870
00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:52,759
Speaker 1: whether you're good enough for something. We all suffer from

871
00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:55,719
Speaker 1: that in a little way, and some you know more

872
00:45:55,760 --> 00:46:00,880
Speaker 1: than others, varying degrees. And when you're younger if feels huge,

873
00:46:01,440 --> 00:46:05,680
Speaker 1: and then as I've gotten older, it creeps it in occasionally,

874
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:10,000
Speaker 1: and then I sort of I allow myself to know

875
00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:13,239
Speaker 1: that what is supposed to be for you will come

876
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:15,799
Speaker 1: to you, and if it wasn't meant to come to you,

877
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:20,719
Speaker 1: it won't. You are good enough full start, if you're

878
00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:24,400
Speaker 1: doing the work to be a good person, to prepare

879
00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:27,160
Speaker 1: for the work that you want. If I spend the time,

880
00:46:27,239 --> 00:46:31,200
Speaker 1: you know, running every day. No, it is a holistic

881
00:46:31,239 --> 00:46:34,560
Speaker 1: thing that I give myself. My therapist said to me,

882
00:46:35,320 --> 00:46:39,080
Speaker 1: when you do something, or you eat something, or you

883
00:46:39,160 --> 00:46:44,520
Speaker 1: buy something or drink something, ask yourself, are you loving

884
00:46:44,520 --> 00:46:48,040
Speaker 1: yourself when you do that? And if the answer is yes,

885
00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:51,120
Speaker 1: well then you've done a good job. And if the

886
00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:56,080
Speaker 1: answer is maybe not, to something different. If your life

887
00:46:56,120 --> 00:47:00,840
Speaker 1: is a series of things that you know are goodness

888
00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:04,040
Speaker 1: you and they are a series of things that are

889
00:47:04,880 --> 00:47:07,920
Speaker 1: what is known as loving yourself. Then you are good enough,

890
00:47:08,719 --> 00:47:12,040
Speaker 1: and all you're doing is prepping yourself for whatever is

891
00:47:12,080 --> 00:47:15,920
Speaker 1: supposed to come to you. Every time I've gone I

892
00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:17,680
Speaker 1: wanted to do that, and it doesn't come my way.

893
00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:23,680
Speaker 1: Every time something else comes up and I go, oh,

894
00:47:23,960 --> 00:47:26,600
Speaker 1: got it, I know I wasn't supposed to do that,

895
00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:30,440
Speaker 1: because that thing came and that thing is awesome, so

896
00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:33,319
Speaker 1: I want to do that thing. Thank you, Universe, Thank

897
00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:36,440
Speaker 1: you God for taking that out. The way I always

898
00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:39,640
Speaker 1: say to people, every no is just room for a yes.

899
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:42,759
Speaker 1: Every no is just room for the thing that is

900
00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:45,239
Speaker 1: supposed to happen. You're making room for the yes that's

901
00:47:45,239 --> 00:47:46,120
Speaker 1: supposed to be there.

902
00:47:46,760 --> 00:47:50,640
Speaker 2: I loved your response to that imposter syndrome as we

903
00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:53,200
Speaker 2: call it today, that you felt that the idea that

904
00:47:53,239 --> 00:47:56,160
Speaker 2: anything that comes to you is meant to come to you. Yeah.

905
00:47:56,200 --> 00:47:59,000
Speaker 2: So even if you feel that way, and I feel

906
00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:01,439
Speaker 2: that way often sprints and posters in them. All the time.

907
00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:04,120
Speaker 2: I get to do incredible things that I could never

908
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:07,160
Speaker 2: have even imagined. You're dreamt of doing, and then this

909
00:48:07,239 --> 00:48:12,480
Speaker 2: opportunity comes your way, and you're scared before you prepare.

910
00:48:12,760 --> 00:48:15,040
Speaker 1: You're scared before you even get there, and you haven't

911
00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:17,319
Speaker 1: and you haven't experienced it yet, so you have no

912
00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:19,440
Speaker 1: idea what you're stepping into yet. You just know it's

913
00:48:19,440 --> 00:48:20,719
Speaker 1: a good thing in front of you, and like, what

914
00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:23,680
Speaker 1: if I'm not good enough for it? Am I supposed

915
00:48:23,719 --> 00:48:26,920
Speaker 1: to be here? Yes, you're supposed to be here, not

916
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:29,000
Speaker 1: just because you're the person that's supposed to do it,

917
00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:32,640
Speaker 1: but you're the person that's supposed to experience it, because

918
00:48:32,719 --> 00:48:38,279
Speaker 1: your experience is valuable. If you share your experience, maybe

919
00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:41,480
Speaker 1: you're the person that changes someone else's mind about this

920
00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:46,040
Speaker 1: particular experience because someone else might be petrified of leaning

921
00:48:46,040 --> 00:48:49,839
Speaker 1: into it. But because you're the person that is experiencing it,

922
00:48:50,200 --> 00:48:52,320
Speaker 1: you're the right person to send the message to the

923
00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:54,399
Speaker 1: next person. You see what I mean?

924
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:58,560
Speaker 2: Absolutely? Yeah, that is so crystal clear. I love that. Yeah, No,

925
00:48:58,640 --> 00:49:01,719
Speaker 2: it's that's exactly what I'm saying. That The what's really

926
00:49:01,719 --> 00:49:04,160
Speaker 2: clicking for me is you're speaking is that idea that

927
00:49:04,719 --> 00:49:06,719
Speaker 2: it's come to me, it's for me to experience, it's

928
00:49:06,719 --> 00:49:09,640
Speaker 2: for me to go through, and that what we do

929
00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:11,920
Speaker 2: is we're scared before you get through it, and you

930
00:49:11,920 --> 00:49:14,080
Speaker 2: probably did better than you thought you would, and then

931
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:17,200
Speaker 2: afterwards you critique yourself of how you didn't do a

932
00:49:17,239 --> 00:49:19,399
Speaker 2: great job, and then when the next thing comes along,

933
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:22,399
Speaker 2: you do the same thing all over again. And what

934
00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:24,600
Speaker 2: you're saying is just so fascinating that, Yeah, it's for

935
00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:28,040
Speaker 2: you to experience. I think that's beautiful, Like that's even

936
00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:30,600
Speaker 2: better than just this for you to do, yeah, or

937
00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:33,400
Speaker 2: for you to have. It's like, no, there's an experience

938
00:49:33,440 --> 00:49:37,400
Speaker 2: here that's been perfectly crafted you just for you. Yeah,

939
00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:39,839
Speaker 2: And we don't always live in that miracle or like

940
00:49:40,320 --> 00:49:43,200
Speaker 2: live in that space. What have you felt like about

941
00:49:43,200 --> 00:49:45,120
Speaker 2: what you're doing right now that's come that way that

942
00:49:45,160 --> 00:49:46,920
Speaker 2: you're like, oh, this was just for me, Like this

943
00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:48,440
Speaker 2: is the experience I was meant to have. Was there

944
00:49:48,480 --> 00:49:50,600
Speaker 2: something recently or something that's coming up?

945
00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:54,160
Speaker 1: I doing Wicked? So there was another so call that

946
00:49:54,239 --> 00:49:57,799
Speaker 1: I really wanted to do and it didn't quite work out.

947
00:49:58,400 --> 00:50:00,600
Speaker 1: And because it didn't work out, it meant that I

948
00:50:00,640 --> 00:50:04,879
Speaker 1: was available to even be seen for Wicked. And now

949
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:08,760
Speaker 1: I'm doing it and it came in out of nowhere.

950
00:50:09,480 --> 00:50:13,520
Speaker 1: I one day my agent Gordon was like, so they're

951
00:50:13,520 --> 00:50:15,440
Speaker 1: seeing people for Wicked, And I was like, I had

952
00:50:15,480 --> 00:50:19,120
Speaker 1: no idea this was even happening. And now now it

953
00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:21,439
Speaker 1: is what it is and I'm doing it, and this

954
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:25,200
Speaker 1: is so far has been a really wonderful experience. I've

955
00:50:25,239 --> 00:50:29,440
Speaker 1: been talking to John, our director, and Ariana, and we're

956
00:50:29,480 --> 00:50:33,080
Speaker 1: really sort of like finding our sort of group, like

957
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:35,680
Speaker 1: what is our what is the group mind wanting? What

958
00:50:35,719 --> 00:50:37,400
Speaker 1: do we want to tell with this story? How do

959
00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:39,600
Speaker 1: we want it to look? What do we want people

960
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:41,759
Speaker 1: to feel? How we want to feel when we do it?

961
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:45,880
Speaker 1: All of those things. And it wouldn't have happened if

962
00:50:46,360 --> 00:50:49,400
Speaker 1: there was a yes there, because this yes was supposed

963
00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:51,640
Speaker 1: to come, you know, yeah, yeah.

964
00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:54,160
Speaker 2: How does it feel when you're working with other incredibly

965
00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:59,759
Speaker 2: creative people that one mind can be really challenging. There's

966
00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:01,920
Speaker 2: one getting your mind right and being like I know

967
00:51:01,960 --> 00:51:04,160
Speaker 2: what I'm doing. Yeah, Now you've got three sets of

968
00:51:04,200 --> 00:51:07,680
Speaker 2: imposter syndrome, three sets of excitement, three sets of artists.

969
00:51:07,719 --> 00:51:10,640
Speaker 2: Like what have you figured out as by now? Like

970
00:51:10,719 --> 00:51:12,520
Speaker 2: is there a system of process that you can follow

971
00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:15,319
Speaker 2: to help to make everyone feel comfortable? Like? How does

972
00:51:15,360 --> 00:51:15,800
Speaker 2: that work?

973
00:51:15,960 --> 00:51:19,360
Speaker 1: Often it's about thinking less about and I know this

974
00:51:19,440 --> 00:51:23,960
Speaker 1: sounds counterintuitive, but less about what you need and more

975
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:27,759
Speaker 1: about what they need. What does this person need in

976
00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:30,000
Speaker 1: this moment to feel confident enough that they can go

977
00:51:30,080 --> 00:51:33,160
Speaker 1: through this with you? What can I do to make

978
00:51:33,239 --> 00:51:36,920
Speaker 1: you understand that I am here for you as well?

979
00:51:37,239 --> 00:51:39,239
Speaker 1: And if I'm here for you, you can be here

980
00:51:39,280 --> 00:51:41,520
Speaker 1: for me. And therefore we can think together, we can

981
00:51:41,520 --> 00:51:44,719
Speaker 1: figure it out together. And I think that once that's

982
00:51:44,719 --> 00:51:47,759
Speaker 1: sort of established, it's just about throwing ideas and like,

983
00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:51,000
Speaker 1: what about this? There's no wrong idea like creating a

984
00:51:51,040 --> 00:51:54,040
Speaker 1: space for when you want a one mind idea, it's

985
00:51:54,080 --> 00:51:57,600
Speaker 1: about that's actually about creating a safe space. And we

986
00:51:57,719 --> 00:52:01,640
Speaker 1: hear the words safe space used a lot, but that

987
00:52:01,920 --> 00:52:06,279
Speaker 1: is really what it is, creating a safe surrounding so

988
00:52:06,320 --> 00:52:09,680
Speaker 1: that we can throw anything at the wall, Like is

989
00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:13,680
Speaker 1: what about this? It might sound completely ridiculous, outlandish, but

990
00:52:13,920 --> 00:52:16,120
Speaker 1: it's okay to throw it in this circle because we're

991
00:52:16,120 --> 00:52:18,160
Speaker 1: all going to appreciate it. We might it might not

992
00:52:18,400 --> 00:52:20,280
Speaker 1: be quite right, but we're going to be like, actually,

993
00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:23,879
Speaker 1: this thing about the thing that's outlandish actually might work.

994
00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:26,360
Speaker 1: What if we applied it to this thing here and

995
00:52:26,440 --> 00:52:29,680
Speaker 1: made it work that way? Then we're all now we're

996
00:52:29,719 --> 00:52:32,879
Speaker 1: of one mind, we're of one accord. We might have

997
00:52:33,000 --> 00:52:36,080
Speaker 1: different thoughts and different ideas, but somehow they all come

998
00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:40,120
Speaker 1: together because we're all there for the same purpose. If

999
00:52:40,160 --> 00:52:43,080
Speaker 1: you find out what the purpose is, we're all going

1000
00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:47,399
Speaker 1: in the same direction, well then you can't necessarily go wrong.

1001
00:52:47,440 --> 00:52:50,160
Speaker 1: You won't really have to manage everyone's sort of imposter

1002
00:52:50,200 --> 00:52:53,280
Speaker 1: syndrome because it's not about us, it's about the bigger

1003
00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:57,680
Speaker 1: picture at hand. How do we approach this challenge together

1004
00:52:58,040 --> 00:52:58,840
Speaker 1: and make it work?

1005
00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:02,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love that idea of I think

1006
00:53:02,080 --> 00:53:06,359
Speaker 2: that space of there's no bad ideas and that don't

1007
00:53:06,440 --> 00:53:08,839
Speaker 2: judge someone for their bad ideas, judge them for their

1008
00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:09,399
Speaker 2: great ones.

1009
00:53:09,520 --> 00:53:11,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, and judge them for the bravery to even say

1010
00:53:11,920 --> 00:53:12,600
Speaker 1: the idea.

1011
00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:15,360
Speaker 2: Yeah first, even though everyone knows it's and you're so

1012
00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:18,920
Speaker 2: right that so often a bad idea is actually the

1013
00:53:18,960 --> 00:53:20,840
Speaker 2: seed of a great one. It's just that you have

1014
00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:23,320
Speaker 2: to kind of put away all the take it apart

1015
00:53:23,360 --> 00:53:25,560
Speaker 2: and get rid of all the dust. And there's actually

1016
00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:28,440
Speaker 2: something really interesting there, Like there's an interesting perspective or

1017
00:53:28,440 --> 00:53:30,600
Speaker 2: a way of looking at it. What do you think,

1018
00:53:30,680 --> 00:53:34,200
Speaker 2: Cynthith for you, what's the biggest change you've made in

1019
00:53:34,239 --> 00:53:36,920
Speaker 2: your life that you think has had the biggest change

1020
00:53:36,960 --> 00:53:39,640
Speaker 2: in your life? Like, is there a habit a practice. Obviously,

1021
00:53:39,719 --> 00:53:41,600
Speaker 2: running is a huge one that I think we discussed.

1022
00:53:41,840 --> 00:53:44,680
Speaker 2: Is there anything else a change that you've made internally

1023
00:53:45,080 --> 00:53:47,720
Speaker 2: in your belief system or externally or in your values

1024
00:53:47,760 --> 00:53:50,400
Speaker 2: that you think has been the catalyst for all of

1025
00:53:50,440 --> 00:53:54,520
Speaker 2: these mindset shifts and this greatness that has come your way? Like,

1026
00:53:55,120 --> 00:53:59,200
Speaker 2: does that come from having had a religious upbringing that

1027
00:53:59,239 --> 00:54:01,279
Speaker 2: you've spiritual lies? Does it come you know? Because I'm

1028
00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:03,520
Speaker 2: always fascinated by like when you speak and when you

1029
00:54:03,520 --> 00:54:06,240
Speaker 2: put these ideas to me, I'm like, there's so much beauty,

1030
00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:10,160
Speaker 2: there's so much eloquence, and then there's elegance to it too,

1031
00:54:10,400 --> 00:54:12,600
Speaker 2: And then I'm like, well, where how did you know? Like,

1032
00:54:12,600 --> 00:54:15,279
Speaker 2: I'm like, I love I guess when you were saying, like,

1033
00:54:15,320 --> 00:54:17,240
Speaker 2: when you're looking at a role or a person, Actually

1034
00:54:17,239 --> 00:54:19,400
Speaker 2: you said a person, a real person, not a character.

1035
00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:21,640
Speaker 2: You were saying, like, you love how they figure out

1036
00:54:21,640 --> 00:54:23,120
Speaker 2: how they walk and how they talk and why they

1037
00:54:23,160 --> 00:54:25,520
Speaker 2: do this. I think for me when I'm I'm fascinated

1038
00:54:25,520 --> 00:54:28,160
Speaker 2: by human behavior from the point of view of how

1039
00:54:28,200 --> 00:54:30,920
Speaker 2: can humans change? Right, I think that's what like I

1040
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:33,520
Speaker 2: get obsessed about. I'm always like, well, when that person

1041
00:54:33,560 --> 00:54:37,000
Speaker 2: made that shift? What did they do that help them

1042
00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:39,880
Speaker 2: to make that shift? And how can other people benefit

1043
00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:40,239
Speaker 2: from that?

1044
00:54:40,480 --> 00:54:40,680
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1045
00:54:40,800 --> 00:54:43,440
Speaker 2: Or like, how does that person make decisions that makes

1046
00:54:43,480 --> 00:54:46,480
Speaker 2: them a better decision maker? Or why does that person

1047
00:54:46,600 --> 00:54:48,719
Speaker 2: lie or steal or cheat or whatever it may be

1048
00:54:48,880 --> 00:54:51,759
Speaker 2: that ruins their life. So I think, yeah, I'm just

1049
00:54:51,800 --> 00:54:54,799
Speaker 2: trying to get to what change did you have to

1050
00:54:54,840 --> 00:54:56,680
Speaker 2: make a change in mindset? Or do you think it

1051
00:54:56,719 --> 00:55:00,400
Speaker 2: was a snowball effect of just these positive exp speriances

1052
00:55:00,440 --> 00:55:01,560
Speaker 2: that you kept collecting.

1053
00:55:02,040 --> 00:55:06,760
Speaker 1: I think it's like a slow and steady accumulation of trying,

1054
00:55:07,320 --> 00:55:11,719
Speaker 1: just trying things. When I was younger, i'd be I

1055
00:55:11,760 --> 00:55:13,319
Speaker 1: was a little scared when I when I first went

1056
00:55:13,360 --> 00:55:16,600
Speaker 1: to drama school. What actually happened was I met someone

1057
00:55:16,760 --> 00:55:19,760
Speaker 1: at a young Actors company. I told you the story

1058
00:55:19,760 --> 00:55:22,880
Speaker 1: before ray m N and she she told me I

1059
00:55:22,880 --> 00:55:26,040
Speaker 1: should go to drama school. But before that I had

1060
00:55:26,160 --> 00:55:28,640
Speaker 1: I had just gone out on a whim and decided

1061
00:55:28,680 --> 00:55:30,120
Speaker 1: I don't want to be at I can't go to

1062
00:55:30,280 --> 00:55:34,200
Speaker 1: university and study this subject. It's not it doesn't feel right.

1063
00:55:34,520 --> 00:55:37,480
Speaker 1: It's sort of like listening to myself and being okay

1064
00:55:37,520 --> 00:55:40,240
Speaker 1: with that this might be a terrible mistake, but I'm

1065
00:55:40,320 --> 00:55:43,200
Speaker 1: not going to do this thing that I think everybody

1066
00:55:43,560 --> 00:55:46,520
Speaker 1: expected me to do. So I'm going to leave university.

1067
00:55:46,680 --> 00:55:48,799
Speaker 1: I'm going to just try this Young Actors Company. This

1068
00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:53,080
Speaker 1: course that's at a theater. It's not not that it's

1069
00:55:53,120 --> 00:55:55,520
Speaker 1: not a massive course that is around the world, like

1070
00:55:55,560 --> 00:55:58,120
Speaker 1: nobody really knows about it, but it just feels right.

1071
00:55:58,200 --> 00:56:00,640
Speaker 1: So I'm going to go there. I bump into Ray,

1072
00:56:00,680 --> 00:56:03,239
Speaker 1: who I hadn't seen for five years. She tells me

1073
00:56:03,280 --> 00:56:07,120
Speaker 1: to go to drama school. I tell her, no, I say,

1074
00:56:07,160 --> 00:56:08,960
Speaker 1: I'm not doing it. There's no way I'm going to

1075
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:10,719
Speaker 1: get in. She says, well, you can't come to this

1076
00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:14,359
Speaker 1: course if you don't apply to this wow school. And

1077
00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:17,760
Speaker 1: I say, all right, I will apply to this school,

1078
00:56:17,800 --> 00:56:22,799
Speaker 1: but only this school, just this one, only because you ask,

1079
00:56:22,840 --> 00:56:26,600
Speaker 1: and I'm only applying to this. Fine. I apply and

1080
00:56:27,200 --> 00:56:29,279
Speaker 1: I do the work. I don't phone it in. I

1081
00:56:29,360 --> 00:56:33,280
Speaker 1: really do work to get to these auditions, and somehow

1082
00:56:33,360 --> 00:56:37,480
Speaker 1: I find myself in this drama school. What Academy of

1083
00:56:37,560 --> 00:56:39,880
Speaker 1: Dramatic Arts. It's one of the best schools in the

1084
00:56:39,920 --> 00:56:44,359
Speaker 1: world for acting. And I feel like a fish out

1085
00:56:44,360 --> 00:56:47,560
Speaker 1: of water. But a lot of my experience at this

1086
00:56:47,640 --> 00:56:54,640
Speaker 1: school is about what feels right for me, because that's

1087
00:56:54,760 --> 00:56:57,960
Speaker 1: really how I can gauge it. At one point and

1088
00:56:58,040 --> 00:57:00,160
Speaker 1: I was physical, I was working out a lot, and

1089
00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:01,640
Speaker 1: one of the teacher says, oh, you should stop work

1090
00:57:01,640 --> 00:57:03,520
Speaker 1: out because you get you know, you need to get softer,

1091
00:57:03,600 --> 00:57:06,080
Speaker 1: and I was like, I don't know that that's right.

1092
00:57:06,600 --> 00:57:09,960
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm going to keep working out because it's

1093
00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:12,080
Speaker 1: good for my brain in my mind, so I'm going

1094
00:57:12,160 --> 00:57:15,319
Speaker 1: to keep doing that. And I find a person in

1095
00:57:15,360 --> 00:57:18,160
Speaker 1: my class who happens to just play the piano. He

1096
00:57:18,240 --> 00:57:21,720
Speaker 1: plays the piano beautifully. So we just pick up books

1097
00:57:21,760 --> 00:57:25,040
Speaker 1: from the library that are scores of music, and we

1098
00:57:25,120 --> 00:57:27,720
Speaker 1: go through these music scores. One of them happens to

1099
00:57:27,760 --> 00:57:31,240
Speaker 1: be Wicked, and we learn that score back to front.

1100
00:57:31,840 --> 00:57:35,760
Speaker 1: I have no idea that ten odd years later, Wow,

1101
00:57:36,400 --> 00:57:38,760
Speaker 1: that thing is going to be the thing I'm doing now,

1102
00:57:39,080 --> 00:57:41,440
Speaker 1: no idea. I have no idea. I just love the music,

1103
00:57:41,800 --> 00:57:45,120
Speaker 1: and I know that going away to a music room

1104
00:57:45,160 --> 00:57:47,240
Speaker 1: with a piano with this person to sing all this

1105
00:57:47,360 --> 00:57:53,080
Speaker 1: music feels really good, feels good. We're doing these shows

1106
00:57:53,120 --> 00:57:55,760
Speaker 1: and we all are like trying to get our agents

1107
00:57:55,800 --> 00:57:59,640
Speaker 1: and whatnot, and I think, I don't think the traditional

1108
00:57:59,680 --> 00:58:01,760
Speaker 1: way of getting an agent is really going to work

1109
00:58:01,800 --> 00:58:05,320
Speaker 1: for me. So we put on a cabaret in the

1110
00:58:05,360 --> 00:58:10,200
Speaker 1: bar because it feels good. I get my agent and

1111
00:58:10,280 --> 00:58:13,400
Speaker 1: I finish early. So when I go to do this

1112
00:58:13,480 --> 00:58:15,280
Speaker 1: thing we call it the Tree, which is like a

1113
00:58:15,320 --> 00:58:18,240
Speaker 1: presentation of different scenes. I just do the things that

1114
00:58:18,320 --> 00:58:21,360
Speaker 1: feel good and people love it, and I feel good

1115
00:58:21,400 --> 00:58:24,520
Speaker 1: when I'm done and there's no pressure, there's no anxiety,

1116
00:58:24,920 --> 00:58:27,760
Speaker 1: and I leave with a show to go to. And

1117
00:58:27,760 --> 00:58:30,440
Speaker 1: it's been a series of what's my gut in my

1118
00:58:30,720 --> 00:58:34,040
Speaker 1: heart telling me? The color purple came because I knew

1119
00:58:34,080 --> 00:58:37,560
Speaker 1: it was coming, and I was like, I know I'm

1120
00:58:37,600 --> 00:58:42,080
Speaker 1: supposed to play Sealy. I just know it. I can't

1121
00:58:42,160 --> 00:58:45,760
Speaker 1: tell you why, but my gut is telling me. My

1122
00:58:45,920 --> 00:58:48,160
Speaker 1: heart is telling me that's what I'm supposed to do.

1123
00:58:49,080 --> 00:58:52,480
Speaker 1: No idea about what's happening next. We do this show

1124
00:58:52,760 --> 00:58:55,320
Speaker 1: in a little theater with two hundred people. It's a

1125
00:58:55,360 --> 00:58:58,000
Speaker 1: two hundred seater, that's it. Towards the end, they asked,

1126
00:58:58,000 --> 00:58:59,520
Speaker 1: so do you want to do you think you would

1127
00:58:59,560 --> 00:59:02,000
Speaker 1: want to do this on Broadway? I don't think they're

1128
00:59:02,040 --> 00:59:05,040
Speaker 1: being serious. Cut to a year or two later, we're

1129
00:59:05,040 --> 00:59:07,080
Speaker 1: on Broadway and we're doing this show. I have no

1130
00:59:07,200 --> 00:59:10,040
Speaker 1: idea of any of this. I think it's just accumulation

1131
00:59:10,600 --> 00:59:15,240
Speaker 1: of genuinely listening to myself and not being afraid that

1132
00:59:15,280 --> 00:59:16,160
Speaker 1: the decision might.

1133
00:59:16,040 --> 00:59:19,120
Speaker 2: Be wrong totally, you know, yes.

1134
00:59:18,760 --> 00:59:21,080
Speaker 1: Because yes, some of it might be wrong, but then

1135
00:59:21,120 --> 00:59:22,320
Speaker 1: it somehow is right.

1136
00:59:22,680 --> 00:59:26,439
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, yeah, right, yeah, if you've just farked something

1137
00:59:26,440 --> 00:59:29,320
Speaker 2: in me that I think has some truth in it

1138
00:59:29,360 --> 00:59:32,400
Speaker 2: is the idea that if you listen to everyone else,

1139
00:59:33,080 --> 00:59:36,120
Speaker 2: chances are they might be wrong, right, and if you

1140
00:59:36,160 --> 00:59:39,160
Speaker 2: listen to yourself, chances are you might be right right.

1141
00:59:39,200 --> 00:59:41,360
Speaker 2: I know there might be some ways that it goes wrong,

1142
00:59:41,640 --> 00:59:44,520
Speaker 2: but when you're listening to yourself, you can take responsibility

1143
00:59:44,680 --> 00:59:47,080
Speaker 2: for when it doesn't work. You can pivot quicker or

1144
00:59:47,080 --> 00:59:48,760
Speaker 2: is that fine? When you listen to someone else and

1145
00:59:48,800 --> 00:59:51,240
Speaker 2: it goes wrong, then you just keep blaming them. Oh yeah,

1146
00:59:51,240 --> 00:59:53,640
Speaker 2: I shouldn't have listened to that personally, And it's like,

1147
00:59:53,720 --> 00:59:56,080
Speaker 2: but no, like you don't need to listen to what

1148
00:59:56,120 --> 00:59:58,440
Speaker 2: they thought anyway. And so I love that, and I

1149
00:59:58,480 --> 01:00:02,040
Speaker 2: love all the dots and they all joint. Yeah, and

1150
01:00:02,080 --> 01:00:04,800
Speaker 2: that's the beauty of it, looking back on it. Yeah,

1151
01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:07,720
Speaker 2: there's that beautiful quote from Steve Jobs where he said,

1152
01:00:07,720 --> 01:00:10,160
Speaker 2: you can't connect the dots moving forward. You only can

1153
01:00:10,200 --> 01:00:12,439
Speaker 2: when you're looking backwards. And I feel like when that's

1154
01:00:12,480 --> 01:00:14,360
Speaker 2: exactly what this is, you're like, I just did this

1155
01:00:14,400 --> 01:00:16,680
Speaker 2: because it felt good, and I did this, and now

1156
01:00:16,720 --> 01:00:19,160
Speaker 2: and I look back. And I encourage everyone to not

1157
01:00:19,240 --> 01:00:21,760
Speaker 2: look for the connection moving forward like you.

1158
01:00:21,760 --> 01:00:22,400
Speaker 1: Will find it.

1159
01:00:22,520 --> 01:00:24,040
Speaker 2: No connection, you'll find it later.

1160
01:00:24,600 --> 01:00:27,880
Speaker 1: Just keep keep taking the steps forwards again, one step

1161
01:00:27,920 --> 01:00:30,040
Speaker 1: in front of the other. Just keep moving forward.

1162
01:00:30,240 --> 01:00:32,280
Speaker 2: That's beautiful, Cynthia. On that note, I mean I could

1163
01:00:32,280 --> 01:00:34,080
Speaker 2: talk to you for hours, and I hope we will.

1164
01:00:34,280 --> 01:00:37,960
Speaker 2: But we end every episode of On Purpose with what

1165
01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:41,200
Speaker 2: we call there's two segments. Yes, one of them is

1166
01:00:41,240 --> 01:00:43,760
Speaker 2: called the Many Sides of Us, where we ask you

1167
01:00:43,840 --> 01:00:47,240
Speaker 2: to use one word or one phrase to describe yourself

1168
01:00:47,480 --> 01:00:50,880
Speaker 2: through different mirrors in different lenses, and the others are

1169
01:00:50,880 --> 01:00:54,240
Speaker 2: the Fast Five. So here are your questions. What is

1170
01:00:54,360 --> 01:00:58,080
Speaker 2: one word or phrase that someone would say about you

1171
01:00:58,240 --> 01:00:59,840
Speaker 2: meeting you for the first time.

1172
01:01:00,440 --> 01:01:03,200
Speaker 1: I've been hearing she's very warm.

1173
01:01:03,400 --> 01:01:07,280
Speaker 2: That's beautiful. I would have to agree, you're very warm today.

1174
01:01:07,320 --> 01:01:09,200
Speaker 2: I'm meeting you first, I me even though we've spoken before,

1175
01:01:09,240 --> 01:01:12,720
Speaker 2: and so I'm like very warm you. Actually, the last

1176
01:01:12,760 --> 01:01:15,480
Speaker 2: time I interviewed you is only audio, so it's always

1177
01:01:15,520 --> 01:01:18,440
Speaker 2: different when you finally and I was like, you have

1178
01:01:18,520 --> 01:01:20,880
Speaker 2: a way of speaking that people want to listen. That's

1179
01:01:20,920 --> 01:01:22,680
Speaker 2: what I noticed about you. I was like, I actually

1180
01:01:22,720 --> 01:01:24,920
Speaker 2: care about what she has to say because of your cadence,

1181
01:01:24,960 --> 01:01:27,680
Speaker 2: your tone, You're just yeah, the texture of your voice,

1182
01:01:27,680 --> 01:01:30,800
Speaker 2: and I'm so intrigued. So that was something as well.

1183
01:01:30,800 --> 01:01:33,720
Speaker 2: That's special. Okay, what is one word or phrase to

1184
01:01:33,760 --> 01:01:36,840
Speaker 2: describe what someone would say that knows you very well.

1185
01:01:37,400 --> 01:01:41,160
Speaker 1: I'm stubborn, Ah, stubborn about what I like to get

1186
01:01:41,160 --> 01:01:43,720
Speaker 1: things done on my own, and it's a trait that

1187
01:01:43,840 --> 01:01:45,960
Speaker 1: I am having to sort of like shift a little

1188
01:01:45,960 --> 01:01:48,960
Speaker 1: bit because there is that wonderful positive thing about I

1189
01:01:48,960 --> 01:01:51,160
Speaker 1: can get it done and I'm pragmatic and get things done.

1190
01:01:51,240 --> 01:01:53,280
Speaker 1: But there's also the other part of like it's okay,

1191
01:01:53,320 --> 01:01:56,200
Speaker 1: someone else can help you. You can help is good too.

1192
01:01:56,480 --> 01:01:59,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, it took me. I know what that one feels like.

1193
01:02:00,080 --> 01:02:02,520
Speaker 2: I know, yeah, I can relate to that, all right,

1194
01:02:02,560 --> 01:02:04,680
Speaker 2: So it's not stubborn in the same way my wife

1195
01:02:04,720 --> 01:02:09,520
Speaker 2: has got it. Just clarifying, Okay, Question number three What

1196
01:02:09,640 --> 01:02:11,640
Speaker 2: is one word or phrase that you would use to

1197
01:02:11,720 --> 01:02:15,880
Speaker 2: describe yourself open, beautiful? What is a word or phrase

1198
01:02:15,920 --> 01:02:18,439
Speaker 2: that someone who maybe doesn't like you would say about

1199
01:02:18,480 --> 01:02:19,320
Speaker 2: you difficult?

1200
01:02:20,360 --> 01:02:22,240
Speaker 1: I don't settle right.

1201
01:02:22,920 --> 01:02:25,440
Speaker 2: I'm so glad you brought that up. Let's let's have it.

1202
01:02:25,480 --> 01:02:30,000
Speaker 2: So I get that feedback a lot, and it comes

1203
01:02:30,080 --> 01:02:36,240
Speaker 2: from my inner responsibility that I have this unique opportunity

1204
01:02:36,320 --> 01:02:37,880
Speaker 2: to serve the world in the way I want to,

1205
01:02:38,640 --> 01:02:40,600
Speaker 2: and I never thought it would be possible. I'm very

1206
01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:43,680
Speaker 2: grateful for it. But now I can't settle right, and

1207
01:02:44,000 --> 01:02:46,000
Speaker 2: I don't want to treat this as just a job

1208
01:02:46,120 --> 01:02:48,280
Speaker 2: or a career or It's so much more to me

1209
01:02:48,360 --> 01:02:51,320
Speaker 2: than any of those things. Tell me about how you

1210
01:02:51,360 --> 01:02:53,200
Speaker 2: deal with that when you're seen as difficult in your way,

1211
01:02:53,240 --> 01:02:55,120
Speaker 2: in your specific experience of that word.

1212
01:02:55,840 --> 01:02:58,960
Speaker 1: The way I've dealt with it has sort of shifted

1213
01:02:58,960 --> 01:03:02,560
Speaker 1: over time. Before I probably get defensive about it. It's

1214
01:03:02,640 --> 01:03:06,480
Speaker 1: in our nature to sort of like defend ourselves when

1215
01:03:06,520 --> 01:03:09,880
Speaker 1: we don't like the thing that we're hearing about ourselves. Now,

1216
01:03:09,960 --> 01:03:12,320
Speaker 1: I think I have more patience to sort of sit

1217
01:03:12,440 --> 01:03:15,000
Speaker 1: and be like the reason why you may think I

1218
01:03:15,040 --> 01:03:19,480
Speaker 1: am difficult or see that is because I'm maybe asking

1219
01:03:19,520 --> 01:03:23,200
Speaker 1: for things that feel like they're way it's just too much.

1220
01:03:23,240 --> 01:03:26,000
Speaker 1: But actually I'm asking for the things that will allow

1221
01:03:26,080 --> 01:03:29,480
Speaker 1: me to be my optimum self for you, so that

1222
01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:32,720
Speaker 1: when we come away from this, you know I've given

1223
01:03:32,760 --> 01:03:35,840
Speaker 1: you everything I can possibly give you in the best

1224
01:03:35,920 --> 01:03:40,720
Speaker 1: possible way. It just takes patience and understanding for us

1225
01:03:40,760 --> 01:03:41,880
Speaker 1: to be able to meet in the middle.

1226
01:03:42,000 --> 01:03:45,840
Speaker 2: That's beautiful. I love that great description. Okay, a question

1227
01:03:45,920 --> 01:03:50,200
Speaker 2: number five. Yeah, what is a word or phrase that

1228
01:03:50,240 --> 01:03:52,680
Speaker 2: you're trying to embody today, something that you're working on,

1229
01:03:52,800 --> 01:03:54,000
Speaker 2: something that you're still today.

1230
01:03:54,640 --> 01:03:57,400
Speaker 1: I have this already, but I think it's an everyday

1231
01:03:58,040 --> 01:04:03,600
Speaker 1: voyage joy, just seeking joy in every day, like in

1232
01:04:03,640 --> 01:04:10,440
Speaker 1: little things, being able to finish organizing something, or I

1233
01:04:10,440 --> 01:04:13,640
Speaker 1: did my vanity were around my bathroom and I was like,

1234
01:04:13,680 --> 01:04:16,280
Speaker 1: it looks really tidy. That's a little piece of joy.

1235
01:04:16,400 --> 01:04:18,240
Speaker 1: Meeting people in the streets I run a little piece

1236
01:04:18,240 --> 01:04:20,600
Speaker 1: of joy. I found I don't know, a chocolate bar

1237
01:04:20,640 --> 01:04:23,360
Speaker 1: that I haven't had for ages. Joy. You know, I've

1238
01:04:23,560 --> 01:04:25,280
Speaker 1: managed to get everything ready and I got the right

1239
01:04:25,280 --> 01:04:29,600
Speaker 1: outfit my waters. I'm prepared to date joy like finding

1240
01:04:29,880 --> 01:04:34,760
Speaker 1: pieces of joy in the little moments so that we

1241
01:04:34,800 --> 01:04:38,200
Speaker 1: aren't just waiting for big, massive things to happen, that

1242
01:04:38,560 --> 01:04:43,080
Speaker 1: it actually is an every day build up of goodness

1243
01:04:43,760 --> 01:04:45,840
Speaker 1: so that when the big things come, they're just like

1244
01:04:45,960 --> 01:04:46,800
Speaker 1: a cherry on top.

1245
01:04:47,000 --> 01:04:49,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I love that. That's beautiful. And I wanted

1246
01:04:49,880 --> 01:04:53,560
Speaker 2: to end with our final conversation around what we talked

1247
01:04:53,600 --> 01:04:55,920
Speaker 2: about briefly before we started, was that you were saying

1248
01:04:55,960 --> 01:04:58,200
Speaker 2: that you're at this point in life where you're trying

1249
01:04:58,200 --> 01:05:00,200
Speaker 2: to figure out the difference between speaking for from a

1250
01:05:00,240 --> 01:05:03,200
Speaker 2: place of love and then speaking from a place of fear.

1251
01:05:03,880 --> 01:05:06,160
Speaker 2: So often we're trying to speak from a place of love,

1252
01:05:06,240 --> 01:05:08,920
Speaker 2: but really we end up speaking from a place of

1253
01:05:08,960 --> 01:05:11,640
Speaker 2: protecting ourselves. Yeah, and I wanted to hear how you

1254
01:05:11,640 --> 01:05:13,800
Speaker 2: felt today when you were sharing, like, how is that

1255
01:05:13,840 --> 01:05:15,760
Speaker 2: evolved for you? Because I think you're so right. I think,

1256
01:05:15,880 --> 01:05:18,920
Speaker 2: especially people in the public eye, are always speaking from

1257
01:05:18,920 --> 01:05:21,680
Speaker 2: a place of fear because everything you say is like

1258
01:05:22,520 --> 01:05:24,720
Speaker 2: can be taken apart and be highlighted, and can be

1259
01:05:24,760 --> 01:05:27,320
Speaker 2: blown up out of proportion. And so walk me through

1260
01:05:27,360 --> 01:05:27,720
Speaker 2: that for you.

1261
01:05:27,920 --> 01:05:31,959
Speaker 1: I think that we've misconstrued what it means to speak

1262
01:05:32,000 --> 01:05:35,080
Speaker 1: from a place of love because we believe that speaking

1263
01:05:35,120 --> 01:05:39,400
Speaker 1: from a place of love is protecting someone's feelings. But

1264
01:05:39,520 --> 01:05:42,959
Speaker 1: by protecting someone's feelings protecting your own because you don't

1265
01:05:43,000 --> 01:05:45,600
Speaker 1: want that person's feeling to come back at you and

1266
01:05:45,680 --> 01:05:50,480
Speaker 1: make you feel hurt. But actually, if you speak from

1267
01:05:50,520 --> 01:05:54,800
Speaker 1: a place of love, you are actually communicating with another

1268
01:05:54,920 --> 01:06:00,440
Speaker 1: person about what can can help both of you meet

1269
01:06:00,520 --> 01:06:03,680
Speaker 1: somewhere in the middle and understand one another. So if

1270
01:06:03,760 --> 01:06:07,000
Speaker 1: I say, let's say something as simple as someone has

1271
01:06:07,000 --> 01:06:11,440
Speaker 1: said something that's hurt your feelings, instead of saying that

1272
01:06:11,520 --> 01:06:15,280
Speaker 1: thing you said hurt my feelings and I know that

1273
01:06:15,280 --> 01:06:17,600
Speaker 1: that wasn't what you meant to do, but that's how

1274
01:06:17,640 --> 01:06:20,520
Speaker 1: I felt. That person can go I'm so sorry. I

1275
01:06:20,560 --> 01:06:22,280
Speaker 1: didn't mean to That's not what I meant at all.

1276
01:06:23,040 --> 01:06:26,800
Speaker 1: Now we've not exacerbated anything. I've just told you how

1277
01:06:26,840 --> 01:06:30,320
Speaker 1: I felt from a place of not afraid that you're

1278
01:06:30,320 --> 01:06:33,240
Speaker 1: going to get defensive about what you said. It's not

1279
01:06:33,600 --> 01:06:35,920
Speaker 1: you said that thing and I don't think it was

1280
01:06:36,040 --> 01:06:39,920
Speaker 1: right and it was really mean different turn of phrase,

1281
01:06:40,000 --> 01:06:43,240
Speaker 1: isn't it. You're not speaking from a place of This

1282
01:06:43,400 --> 01:06:47,560
Speaker 1: is how it felt when it came to me. Is

1283
01:06:47,600 --> 01:06:51,080
Speaker 1: that what you meant? Now there's a space to have

1284
01:06:51,120 --> 01:06:54,600
Speaker 1: a conversation about well, actually, maybe this is what I meant,

1285
01:06:55,000 --> 01:06:57,320
Speaker 1: and now I understand Okay, well, now we can have

1286
01:06:57,320 --> 01:07:00,560
Speaker 1: a discussion about something. When we speak from a place

1287
01:07:00,560 --> 01:07:04,240
Speaker 1: of love, what we're actually doing is giving the other

1288
01:07:04,280 --> 01:07:08,520
Speaker 1: person an opportunity to be understood, and therefore you get

1289
01:07:08,520 --> 01:07:10,680
Speaker 1: the chance to be understood as well. When we speak

1290
01:07:10,680 --> 01:07:13,320
Speaker 1: from a place of fear, we're trying to stop the

1291
01:07:13,360 --> 01:07:17,040
Speaker 1: other person from getting upset, to stop ourselves from feeling

1292
01:07:17,160 --> 01:07:20,000
Speaker 1: even more rejection or more upset. And we can't walk

1293
01:07:20,040 --> 01:07:23,760
Speaker 1: around like that, are essentially walking around like broken shells.

1294
01:07:24,160 --> 01:07:27,440
Speaker 1: That doesn't work. We want to allow people to make

1295
01:07:27,480 --> 01:07:30,680
Speaker 1: themselves whole every time we have a conversation with them,

1296
01:07:31,240 --> 01:07:34,160
Speaker 1: to leave a conversation thinking, oh I learned something, I

1297
01:07:34,240 --> 01:07:37,920
Speaker 1: understand something, I know something. If you leave a conversation

1298
01:07:38,040 --> 01:07:40,360
Speaker 1: going did I actually get what I needed from that?

1299
01:07:40,520 --> 01:07:43,520
Speaker 1: And that's often how people leave conversations, especially arguments. You

1300
01:07:43,600 --> 01:07:45,320
Speaker 1: leave an argument you think, I don't think I got

1301
01:07:45,320 --> 01:07:48,040
Speaker 1: what I wanted from that. I don't think I got

1302
01:07:48,200 --> 01:07:51,360
Speaker 1: the conversation I needed out of that. I'm still missing things.

1303
01:07:51,480 --> 01:07:55,040
Speaker 1: I'm still not understanding certain things. Because we weren't speaking

1304
01:07:55,080 --> 01:07:58,840
Speaker 1: from a place of how do we solve this, how

1305
01:07:58,880 --> 01:08:02,760
Speaker 1: do we make this better? We're just sort of I

1306
01:08:02,800 --> 01:08:04,720
Speaker 1: want to be heard. You want to be heard, as

1307
01:08:04,760 --> 01:08:07,240
Speaker 1: opposed to I want to understand you so that you

1308
01:08:07,280 --> 01:08:10,920
Speaker 1: can understand me. Now we walk away thinking, oh we

1309
01:08:11,040 --> 01:08:11,880
Speaker 1: got something.

1310
01:08:12,240 --> 01:08:13,040
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1311
01:08:13,080 --> 01:08:15,360
Speaker 1: And so usually by the end of those conversations, when

1312
01:08:15,360 --> 01:08:17,600
Speaker 1: you're like I want to understand you want to understand,

1313
01:08:17,960 --> 01:08:21,759
Speaker 1: You're like you're good. I'm good. Yeah, all right, should

1314
01:08:21,760 --> 01:08:24,840
Speaker 1: we start again again? That's that tends to be how

1315
01:08:24,840 --> 01:08:26,040
Speaker 1: those conversations end up.

1316
01:08:26,720 --> 01:08:28,920
Speaker 2: Want those Yeah, yeah, I want those too. It makes

1317
01:08:28,920 --> 01:08:31,519
Speaker 2: so much sense. And today's Today's been a conversation filed

1318
01:08:31,560 --> 01:08:34,680
Speaker 2: with love, filled with joy. Feel does a lot of understanding.

1319
01:08:34,760 --> 01:08:37,400
Speaker 2: And I know anyone who listens to this speaking to

1320
01:08:37,439 --> 01:08:40,880
Speaker 2: you is like there's there's a there's a therapeutic nature

1321
01:08:40,920 --> 01:08:43,040
Speaker 2: to it. It's very like, I feel like anyone who

1322
01:08:43,400 --> 01:08:45,840
Speaker 2: listens to this or watches this is going to walk

1323
01:08:45,880 --> 01:08:50,080
Speaker 2: away just feeling a sense of joy genuinely because I

1324
01:08:50,120 --> 01:08:52,160
Speaker 2: think the way you talk about your life, the way

1325
01:08:52,160 --> 01:08:53,760
Speaker 2: you talk about these miracles, the way you talk about

1326
01:08:53,760 --> 01:08:56,479
Speaker 2: the connection, the way you talk about the work, but

1327
01:08:56,560 --> 01:08:59,719
Speaker 2: also the wisdom that comes from it is really special,

1328
01:08:59,760 --> 01:09:02,360
Speaker 2: and so thank you so much. Thank you for being

1329
01:09:02,400 --> 01:09:04,160
Speaker 2: here today. Thank you for doing this. I hope you

1330
01:09:04,160 --> 01:09:06,800
Speaker 2: had fun. I did, and I hope you feel heard

1331
01:09:06,840 --> 01:09:10,960
Speaker 2: and seen and understood. And I want to welcome everyone

1332
01:09:11,000 --> 01:09:12,920
Speaker 2: at home to make sure that you share what you

1333
01:09:13,040 --> 01:09:15,840
Speaker 2: learned from this episode across social media so that we

1334
01:09:15,880 --> 01:09:19,320
Speaker 2: can pick up What were those little moments that Cinthi

1335
01:09:19,439 --> 01:09:22,000
Speaker 2: mentioned that connected with you, that resonated with you, that

1336
01:09:22,120 --> 01:09:24,160
Speaker 2: you're going to try out that what are you going

1337
01:09:24,200 --> 01:09:26,240
Speaker 2: to start I'm fascinated by that. What are you going

1338
01:09:26,320 --> 01:09:26,960
Speaker 2: to start doing?

1339
01:09:27,200 --> 01:09:28,000
Speaker 1: I like that question.

1340
01:09:28,200 --> 01:09:30,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, and Sydnia, I hope you're going to come back

1341
01:09:30,680 --> 01:09:33,040
Speaker 2: a year after year. Yeah, I can't wait for Pinocchio.

1342
01:09:33,200 --> 01:09:36,400
Speaker 2: Very excited. Please, I love work it too. It's very excited.

1343
01:09:36,600 --> 01:09:39,840
Speaker 2: I cannot wait. I really pumped but excited for this.

1344
01:09:39,920 --> 01:09:41,439
Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you very much for having me.

1345
01:09:41,479 --> 01:09:44,160
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you. If you love this episode, you

1346
01:09:44,240 --> 01:09:47,760
Speaker 2: will also love my interview with Charles Douhig on how

1347
01:09:47,800 --> 01:09:51,600
Speaker 2: to hack your brain, change any habit effortlessly, and the

1348
01:09:51,680 --> 01:09:53,960
Speaker 2: secret to making better decisions.

1349
01:09:54,240 --> 01:09:56,919
Speaker 1: When people talk about procrastination, when we talk about overthinking,

1350
01:09:57,200 --> 01:09:59,680
Speaker 1: what they're really talking about is they're talking about the

1351
01:10:00,000 --> 01:10:00,519
Speaker 1: first step.

1352
01:10:00,760 --> 01:10:02,439
Speaker 2: Once you take the first step, it's usually