1 00:00:00,680 --> 00:00:03,880 Speaker 1: All right, guys, time now for today's Strawberry Letter and listen. 2 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:07,560 Speaker 1: If you need advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, 3 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:11,720 Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM 4 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:15,000 Speaker 1: dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be 5 00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:18,480 Speaker 1: reading your letter live on the air, just like we're 6 00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:22,000 Speaker 1: gonna read this one right here, right now. Buckle up, 7 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:24,159 Speaker 1: hold on tight. We got it for you. Here it is. 8 00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:27,720 Speaker 1: It's Strawberry Letter. Thank you. Few subject. I walked in 9 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:32,159 Speaker 1: on my son. Dear Stephen Shirley. I am a happily 10 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:35,879 Speaker 1: married woman in my mid thirties and my husband and 11 00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:39,560 Speaker 1: I have a son and daughter. My son is fifteen 12 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:42,440 Speaker 1: years old and my daughter is eight years old. We 13 00:00:42,479 --> 00:00:45,080 Speaker 1: have all been cooped up in the house, but my 14 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:48,080 Speaker 1: son has found a new way to keep himself occupied. 15 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:52,080 Speaker 1: I found out that he watches porn on his phone. 16 00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:54,880 Speaker 1: He's been up in his room day and night, and 17 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:57,480 Speaker 1: I was worried about him, so I barged into his 18 00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:00,480 Speaker 1: room the other day to check on him. As I 19 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:03,959 Speaker 1: walked in, I heard loud panting and moaning, and he 20 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:06,560 Speaker 1: was just as startled as I was. One of his 21 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:11,400 Speaker 1: hands was holding his phone and the other hand was, well, 22 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:14,760 Speaker 1: you know where the other hand was. I told him 23 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:16,560 Speaker 1: to let me see what he was watching, and it 24 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:19,480 Speaker 1: was some kind of sight with all sorts of sex 25 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:22,080 Speaker 1: stuff on it. I told him that it was illegal 26 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:24,960 Speaker 1: to look at that stuff because he was under eighteen. 27 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:27,600 Speaker 1: I asked him to come out and spend more time 28 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:30,160 Speaker 1: with the family, and I threatened to take his phone 29 00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:32,720 Speaker 1: from him if he ever went back on that site. 30 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:35,520 Speaker 1: I never told his father about what happened because I 31 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:38,479 Speaker 1: thought my son would be ashamed. A couple of days 32 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:40,760 Speaker 1: went by and my son was still up in his 33 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:44,040 Speaker 1: room all day and all night, and I kept asking 34 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:48,000 Speaker 1: him to watch a movie with us. My husband told 35 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,360 Speaker 1: me to stop nagging our son and let him have 36 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:53,280 Speaker 1: his alone time. He explained to me that our son 37 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:56,360 Speaker 1: is going through the rights of passage to manhood, and 38 00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:59,160 Speaker 1: what he's doing in his room is none of my business, 39 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:02,240 Speaker 1: he said. And he had playboy magazines when he was young, 40 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:06,480 Speaker 1: but now everything's online, so it's easy access. I was 41 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:09,440 Speaker 1: shocked that he supported my son's behavior, but I plan 42 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:12,520 Speaker 1: to let him lead on this on this one, Steve, 43 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:15,840 Speaker 1: is this a normal thing for teenage boys? Surely should 44 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:19,120 Speaker 1: I stay out of it? I need some advice. Well, 45 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:22,160 Speaker 1: as a mom, I don't think you should stay out 46 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,480 Speaker 1: of it, well at least not all the way. I mean, 47 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:27,040 Speaker 1: he is your son too. I do think you should 48 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,640 Speaker 1: have a serious conversation with your son. Let him know 49 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:32,120 Speaker 1: how you feel about what he's doing, about the porn 50 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:34,760 Speaker 1: and all of that. Let him know that porn can 51 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:38,280 Speaker 1: be as addictive as any drug. And at his age, 52 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:40,639 Speaker 1: you know, he should take it a little slower so 53 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:44,400 Speaker 1: he might not be too advanced, you know, and get 54 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:49,160 Speaker 1: bored with girls his own age. As his mom, I mean, 55 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:51,600 Speaker 1: you still have to do your due diligence, your job 56 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,600 Speaker 1: and parent him, whether he listens to you or not. 57 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:58,919 Speaker 1: And even if your husband goes against you, I think 58 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,680 Speaker 1: that's all you can do. You And yes, as far 59 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:05,600 Speaker 1: as as far as him growing up to be a 60 00:03:05,639 --> 00:03:08,160 Speaker 1: man and all of that, yeah, I think that does 61 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:09,720 Speaker 1: have a lot to do with his father. That is 62 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:12,640 Speaker 1: when his father should step up and step in, you know, 63 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:16,840 Speaker 1: to do his part. Allowing him to watch porn and 64 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:20,040 Speaker 1: calling it a rite of passage is one thing, but 65 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:24,839 Speaker 1: he definitely should make sure that your son knows how 66 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:27,600 Speaker 1: to treat women, how to appreciate women, and all of 67 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:30,480 Speaker 1: that because porn does not teach that. Dad, and you 68 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:38,080 Speaker 1: know that. All right, Steve, great answer, Shirley, really really 69 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 1: good answer. All right. Let me straight a couple of 70 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:46,080 Speaker 1: things out happily married, you and you me a thirties ma'am. 71 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,120 Speaker 1: You and your husband have a son and a daughter. 72 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:51,440 Speaker 1: Your son fifteen, daughter eight. We've been cooped up in 73 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:55,960 Speaker 1: the house. We don't quarantine the boy in school. We 74 00:03:56,160 --> 00:04:03,360 Speaker 1: locked up in him. You say that your son had 75 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:07,440 Speaker 1: found a new way to keep himself occupied. I want 76 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:11,120 Speaker 1: to share something with you. It ain't new. I just 77 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:15,840 Speaker 1: want you to know that right now, Saint new found 78 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:19,320 Speaker 1: out that he watches pawn on his phone. That's a 79 00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:21,240 Speaker 1: sad part of the world we live in. What you 80 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,360 Speaker 1: used to stop your kids from doing, now they can 81 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:27,239 Speaker 1: google it. It's there. He's been up in his room 82 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:31,000 Speaker 1: day and night, and I'm worried about him. So I 83 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:33,040 Speaker 1: banged on his door the other day to check on him. 84 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:36,800 Speaker 1: I walk in. I heard loud panting and moaning. He 85 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:39,920 Speaker 1: was just as startled as I was. Now, he was 86 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:45,200 Speaker 1: way more shocked than you, and it wasn't an equal surprise. 87 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:51,039 Speaker 1: He was stunned. One of his hands was holding the 88 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:54,479 Speaker 1: phone and the other one was, well, you know where 89 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:58,479 Speaker 1: the other hand was yes, yes, ma'am, we do. Yes, 90 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:05,000 Speaker 1: the guys on the show, yeah, everybody, Yeah yeah. I 91 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:07,480 Speaker 1: told him to let me see what he was watching, 92 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:10,960 Speaker 1: and it was some kind of sight with all sorts 93 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,279 Speaker 1: of sex stuff on it. I told him it was 94 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:17,200 Speaker 1: illegal to look at that stuff because he under eighteen. 95 00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:25,000 Speaker 1: What what? That's what you told him? You told this 96 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:30,560 Speaker 1: boy with both his hands occupied, what you're doing is 97 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:36,159 Speaker 1: illegal because you're supposed to be eighteen on that site. 98 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:40,200 Speaker 1: Well guess what, he ain't eighteen. He owned the site 99 00:05:40,839 --> 00:05:49,600 Speaker 1: and he participated. He needs you to get out this 100 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:57,880 Speaker 1: room right now, he met. Yeah, bad eyes, you're standing 101 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:04,599 Speaker 1: here talking. I told him. I asked him to come 102 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,680 Speaker 1: out and spend more time with the family, and I 103 00:06:07,839 --> 00:06:10,840 Speaker 1: threatened to take his phone from him. If he ever 104 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:13,880 Speaker 1: went back on that site. Your son would have killed 105 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:20,640 Speaker 1: it self. Your child would kill itself if you take 106 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:23,919 Speaker 1: that damn phone. That's how serious it is, Steve. While 107 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:28,240 Speaker 1: we quarantine and come down here and spend time with 108 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:37,360 Speaker 1: the family, ain't none of y'all nickels? Yeah, so when 109 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:42,440 Speaker 1: I come back, we'll just finished this letter. Deserves all right, Steve? 110 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:45,240 Speaker 1: We'll have part two of your response coming up at 111 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:49,000 Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry Letters subject 112 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:51,680 Speaker 1: I walked in on my son. Will get back into 113 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:57,520 Speaker 1: it right after this. You're listening, all right, Steve. Come on, 114 00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:01,080 Speaker 1: let's recap today's Strawberry Letters, subject I walked in on 115 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:06,000 Speaker 1: my son. Well, the fifteen year old boy that found 116 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:09,840 Speaker 1: some time found a way to occupy himself while he 117 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:14,200 Speaker 1: on quarantine. The board found on his phone a palling sight. 118 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:17,600 Speaker 1: The mother is upset. She walked in the room, caught 119 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:21,040 Speaker 1: him holding the phone in one hand and holding the 120 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:23,560 Speaker 1: reason he was on the phone in the other hand. 121 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:30,960 Speaker 1: He was shocked. No, he was stunned. You was shot. 122 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:41,160 Speaker 1: You looked at told him it's it's illegal for him. 123 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:45,240 Speaker 1: This boy on the site. You told you it was 124 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:48,440 Speaker 1: illegal to look at that because you're supposed to be eighteen. 125 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:53,960 Speaker 1: This boy going, I'm on it, I'm fifteen and I'm participated. 126 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:58,480 Speaker 1: I asked him to come out and spend more time 127 00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:00,600 Speaker 1: with the family, and I threw had to take his 128 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:03,280 Speaker 1: phone from him. If he ever went back on that site, 129 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:09,120 Speaker 1: your boy would have killed itself. Here we are we quarantine, mama. 130 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,840 Speaker 1: We go to the school that they're doing our online training, 131 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:17,760 Speaker 1: so I got my own online training. I never told 132 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:20,080 Speaker 1: his father about what happened because I thought my son 133 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:24,120 Speaker 1: would be ashamed. Look, did you know a couple of 134 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:26,080 Speaker 1: days when by and my son was still up in 135 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:27,640 Speaker 1: his room. You know why, because he didn't give a 136 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:32,840 Speaker 1: damn what you said. We're still up here. All I 137 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:36,200 Speaker 1: need now is a lock on this damn dough. All 138 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:41,600 Speaker 1: day and all night. I'm fifteen, I'm back to back 139 00:08:41,679 --> 00:08:45,520 Speaker 1: to back to back. I can't run out of bullets. 140 00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:50,040 Speaker 1: It ain't no way. This is all day, all night. 141 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:54,840 Speaker 1: Who is she? I've never seen of it? Oh God, 142 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:58,000 Speaker 1: I love you too. This is the mind of a 143 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:00,560 Speaker 1: fifteen year old boy. But right now I'm a thirty 144 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:09,640 Speaker 1: year old man. And so my husband. All day and night, 145 00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:13,640 Speaker 1: I kept asking him to watch a movie with us, y'all, 146 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:22,640 Speaker 1: I got a Movie's better Daddy coming over the shoe pool, 147 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:31,360 Speaker 1: Oh man, Brenda bakes cookies in her bra and the 148 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:36,920 Speaker 1: boy watching movies. My husband told me to stop nagging 149 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,960 Speaker 1: our son and let him have his alone time. He 150 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:42,640 Speaker 1: explained to me that our son is going through the 151 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:45,720 Speaker 1: rights of passage in the manhood, and what he's doing 152 00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:48,160 Speaker 1: in his room is none of my business. See, his 153 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:51,480 Speaker 1: daddy't know what he in there doing. Yeah, his daddy 154 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:53,880 Speaker 1: know if he had a phone back then, what he'd 155 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:55,880 Speaker 1: have been doing. A matter of fact, his daddy had 156 00:09:55,880 --> 00:10:01,760 Speaker 1: a phone back then. Hell, this ain't me when I 157 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:05,040 Speaker 1: was fifteen. This your husband and his mid thirties. When 158 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:08,199 Speaker 1: he was fifteen, he had a phone in his room. 159 00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:10,520 Speaker 1: He did what he was doing in his room, and 160 00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:12,720 Speaker 1: he said today, none of your business. He said he 161 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:15,320 Speaker 1: had playboy magazines when he was young. He had a 162 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:19,400 Speaker 1: phone too. Yeah, but now everything's on line so it's 163 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:23,080 Speaker 1: easy access. I was shocked that he supported my son's behavior. 164 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,960 Speaker 1: Listen to me. I hate to tell you this, but 165 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:31,040 Speaker 1: he's probably proud of you boy crowd. Yeah, he really 166 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:34,000 Speaker 1: want probably bout him. Is probably probably probably proud of 167 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:36,560 Speaker 1: him son because he knows what his son doing. He 168 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:39,360 Speaker 1: liked the fact that his son interested in girls. All 169 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:42,960 Speaker 1: that right there. That's that's not surely what you said 170 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:46,040 Speaker 1: about it. Don't teach you respect, it don't. It. Don't 171 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:50,079 Speaker 1: teach you good sexual habits, it don't, but it do. 172 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 1: Had that board that room all day and all night, 173 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:56,520 Speaker 1: and he upstairs, he and outside get in trouble. Oh 174 00:10:56,559 --> 00:11:00,160 Speaker 1: we have with a magazine. Oh but I played to 175 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:02,800 Speaker 1: let him lead on this one, Steve, is this normal 176 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:08,480 Speaker 1: thing for teenage boys? It's so damn normal you don't 177 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:12,320 Speaker 1: even understand how normal it is. Yes, it's normal. It's 178 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:17,160 Speaker 1: life changing, it's altering now. It's happening earlier for these 179 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:23,120 Speaker 1: boys than it did for us. But yes, it's very normal. Yeah, 180 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:28,800 Speaker 1: easy access. My brothers had Playboard magazine, but they had 181 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:32,120 Speaker 1: moved out by time out of fifteen. I had to 182 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:36,319 Speaker 1: go over the house to see them, didn't you, Steve? 183 00:11:36,679 --> 00:11:39,200 Speaker 1: I like, yeah, see is J. C. Penny catalogs? I 184 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:43,800 Speaker 1: look at the women's section being there all day? What 185 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:50,280 Speaker 1: you're using that? Looking at that magazine for toys for Christmas? Yeah? Yea. 186 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:58,800 Speaker 1: I want this white lady and this black lady for Christmas? What? 187 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:04,920 Speaker 1: I want both of them equally as fine? One, no one, 188 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:09,080 Speaker 1: no exotic pose is enough. Then my mama went in 189 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:11,760 Speaker 1: there behind me one day and why only fingerplants on 190 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:18,720 Speaker 1: his brawls. I got my ass beat with. I got 191 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:25,200 Speaker 1: my ass beat with the Sea Is catalog. Yeah, so 192 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:30,679 Speaker 1: it's really Uh, let your husband handle this. Let him 193 00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:33,160 Speaker 1: talk to his son about the correct behavior, how to 194 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:37,040 Speaker 1: be respectful to women. That's not real. Women don't act 195 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:40,679 Speaker 1: that way in real life, and you can't expect to 196 00:12:40,679 --> 00:12:42,560 Speaker 1: treat a woman that way of real life. And let 197 00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:45,320 Speaker 1: him have that talk with him. All right, Steve, thank 198 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:51,320 Speaker 1: you again. Bost your comments on today Strawberry Letter at 199 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,679 Speaker 1: Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook, and then check 200 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:57,800 Speaker 1: out the Strawberry the Podcast on demand. You're coming up 201 00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:00,040 Speaker 1: at forty six minutes after the hour. We have a 202 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:04,000 Speaker 1: fun discussion about the last TV show or movie that 203 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:07,480 Speaker 1: we watched. We'll talk about it right after this. You're 204 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:09,959 Speaker 1: listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show.