Speaker 1: Help We Suck At Being Newlywed?
Speaker 2: With Dean Aungler, Haylen Miller Keys, and Jared haven An
Speaker 2: iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 1: Hello everybody, and welcome to a sweet sensual episode of
Speaker 1: Help We Suck At Being Newly Weds? Why is it sensual,
Speaker 1: you may ask, Well, it's because we're going to talk
Speaker 1: in a sweet, low sexy voice of this the entire episode.
Speaker 3: So buckle up, you're not even doing it right.
Speaker 1: Get that lube ready.
Speaker 2: This is where we're going, just lost.
Speaker 1: We're going deep, and you want to make sure you're
Speaker 1: properly lubricated. It's it's a proverbial. It's a proverbial lube,
Speaker 1: you guys. It's a mental lube. Lube your brains for
Speaker 1: the deepness we're about to uncover and go towards.
Speaker 3: I hate this so much.
Speaker 1: What are we doing today, Kaitlin?
Speaker 2: Today we are having a fun little game called would
Speaker 2: you rather?
Speaker 1: I love? What you rather? Put a finger down? If
Speaker 1: you've talked about lube on a podcast, that's right, PG,
Speaker 1: would you rather?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, I have established I'm not smarter than
Speaker 1: a fifth grader. That's yeah?
Speaker 3: Would you rather? We've never have you, guys ever done
Speaker 3: this on the podcast before.
Speaker 4: I'm sure we have at something in extent some at
Speaker 4: some point in this four five years.
Speaker 1: Could god, how that's all I need to know?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 1: Would you rather?
Speaker 4: All right? Yeah? Would you rather? Obviously we all know
Speaker 4: the name of this game here? Would you rather do
Speaker 4: one thing over the other? So we'll do this a
Speaker 4: little rapid fire, go through these, answer a couple of emails.
Speaker 1: Here we go.
Speaker 4: Would you rather Dean and Kaylin are uh argue all
Speaker 4: night to resolve a conflict? Or and the argument unresolved
Speaker 4: before bed?
Speaker 1: And the argument unresolved before bed?
Speaker 2: I like to what's the first one?
Speaker 4: What would you rather argue all night to resolve in issue?
Speaker 4: Or just go to bed with the argument?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Go to bed?
Speaker 3: I need I need to think. I can't. I'm not
Speaker 3: like in the moment argue.
Speaker 1: Argument, Kayln needs to go to bed, wake up, eat breakfast,
Speaker 1: have a cup of tea, and then we can continue
Speaker 1: the argument. I'm not arguing with Kaylen on an empty
Speaker 1: stomach and while she's tired, because no matter what, I'm
Speaker 1: losing that argument.
Speaker 2: True.
Speaker 3: I'm glad you learned Jared's Ashley.
Speaker 4: Ashley is always like you can't go to bed mad,
Speaker 4: and I'm like, but listen, we're gonna wake up with
Speaker 4: cooler heads and everything's going to be fine. So I agree,
Speaker 4: go to bed, don't resolve it. He'll resolve itself in
Speaker 4: the morning, hopefully.
Speaker 1: All right.
Speaker 4: If not, you break up. Would you rather be embarrassed
Speaker 4: in front of your in laws or be embarrassed in
Speaker 4: front of your partner's boss. Oh, that's what we wouldn't want.
Speaker 1: Are you my partner's boss. Who's my partner's boss? Easton?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll take that then.
Speaker 4: Sugar Sugarman.
Speaker 1: Sugarman, Well, I mean, Sugarman and all of us have
Speaker 1: a funny relationship where we all embarrass ourselves in front
Speaker 1: of each other all the time, So I'll take that
Speaker 1: for sure.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I do feel like you've been embarrassed in
Speaker 2: front of my grandparents.
Speaker 3: Dean is like, you know, I embarrassed myself running joke
Speaker 3: that he's he's a golden retriever.
Speaker 2: You know, he kind of just bounces back from anything,
Speaker 2: you know, the crazy things he said to my Yeah,
Speaker 2: crazy things.
Speaker 3: He said to my grandparents. He nothing really affects him.
Speaker 1: I remember we talked about this on the podcast before,
Speaker 1: but talking about not knowing if I'm gay because I've
Speaker 1: never kissed a guy, or no, because I've never a
Speaker 1: male in front of her eighty two year old former
Speaker 1: FBI got grandfather, and he still likes me. I think
Speaker 1: I think he still likes me despite all that, So
Speaker 1: that's good.
Speaker 3: He loves you, have a lot. He loves you like
Speaker 3: a son.
Speaker 1: I love him like a grandpa. So what about you, guys?
Speaker 4: No, I would rather be embarrassed in front of my
Speaker 4: in laws, just because I'm so comfortable with Ashley's parents
Speaker 4: that I feel like they have a pretty good idea
Speaker 4: of who I am. Would you rather be in a
Speaker 4: relationship with someone who never says I love you or
Speaker 4: be in a relationship with someone who never hugs you?
Speaker 3: They're both terrible options. I think hug I'd rather be.
Speaker 1: In a relationship with someone that says I never I
Speaker 1: don't love you or not.
Speaker 4: But by just hugging you, that's not loving.
Speaker 1: The hug says all I need to know I love you,
Speaker 1: So it would you rather, by the way, I'm not saying,
Speaker 1: don't say you love me. I'm just choosing between the
Speaker 1: two auctions.
Speaker 3: That's the headline. You got it.
Speaker 4: I've given hugs to many people who I don't love.
Speaker 1: So yeah, you've also probably said I love you to
Speaker 1: people that you don't hug. Wait does that make sense?
Speaker 1: But you've also said I love you to people that
Speaker 1: you no longer love, So love if by fleeting.
Speaker 4: I've definitely hugged every single person that I said I
Speaker 4: love you too. There's no way, no way that I
Speaker 4: have ever said I love you to someone and never
Speaker 4: hugged them. Having said that, there's definitely people that I
Speaker 4: have hugged and never said I love you, So I
Speaker 4: find that I love you is more important.
Speaker 1: Two questions for you. Have you ever hugged Tom Brady?
Speaker 1: And have you ever hugged Tom Cruise?
Speaker 4: And I have not, and I probably have told them
Speaker 4: in my blackout stage of meeting them that I love you.
Speaker 1: There you go, So you just proved yourself wrong. But
Speaker 1: I love them and you haven't hugged them. You said
Speaker 1: you've never told someone you love them and not hugged them.
Speaker 4: But that's my point. I would rather tell or hear
Speaker 4: someone say I love you than either receiver give a hug.
Speaker 1: M Okay, okay, agree to disagree on that one. Next one,
Speaker 1: would you rather have your forever home in a tiny
Speaker 1: town or a big city.
Speaker 3: I have a tiny town.
Speaker 4: Yeah, do I even need to answer this?
Speaker 1: Rhode Island boy, I wouldn't mind a dream home in
Speaker 1: Los Angeles. That's a big city, but I think my
Speaker 1: I would lead tiny town as well. Would you rather
Speaker 1: have a tiny town, tiny tim in a tiny town?
Speaker 1: Would you rather have a partner who never has time
Speaker 1: to spend with you or a partner who's clingy and
Speaker 1: never leaves you alone?
Speaker 3: Answer carefully?
Speaker 1: Oh goodness, gracious, what do you guys think?
Speaker 3: That's so hard?
Speaker 4: Would you rather have a partner who never has to
Speaker 4: spend time with you or a partner? Oh wow, that's tough.
Speaker 4: I probably lean towards spending a partner who never has
Speaker 4: to spend time with you. That's kind of that says
Speaker 4: because it's just like I need, you know, just I'm
Speaker 4: an independent person a lot of times, and there are
Speaker 4: times where I just need to like shut off the
Speaker 4: world and just and that's like literally, like so like
Speaker 4: when Dawson goes to bed sometimes I'm like I'm just
Speaker 4: gonna you know, Ashley, you just sit on your side
Speaker 4: of the couch and sit on mine. It's not like
Speaker 4: we're not loving each other, but just we need to
Speaker 4: like decompress by ourselves.
Speaker 1: Yeah, same with you, Kaylin. Yeah that hurts, That really stings.
Speaker 2: A cleaning person who never leaves you alone sounds like
Speaker 2: a divorce waiting to happen.
Speaker 4: Yeah, what do you think older were?
Speaker 1: I think, of the two options, the only thing you
Speaker 1: can control is yourself. So I would also rather be
Speaker 1: left alone, unless, like Kaylen, if you were as much
Speaker 1: of an idiot as I am, and you wanted to
Speaker 1: skydive and climb a bunch of mountains. I actually, it's
Speaker 1: so hard to say. I don't know. I think I
Speaker 1: agree with you. Guys. I would rather be with someone that.
Speaker 3: Never wants to everyone wants to spend time with you.
Speaker 1: Just neither option really sounds good. Would you rather have
Speaker 1: a partner with bad breath or body odor? And Kaylan,
Speaker 1: we all know you have both your partners. Your partner
Speaker 1: has both.
Speaker 4: I guess damn bro calling her out body odor?
Speaker 1: Really?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Well that's I mean, if I'm being honest, that's
Speaker 2: what I live with, and I'm fine with it. You're not.
Speaker 1: You're not fine. I rarely get offended by anything anyone
Speaker 1: ever says to me. I was offended like a month
Speaker 1: ago when you told me I had to shower before
Speaker 1: I came to.
Speaker 2: Bed because I couldn't cuddle you. I feel like we
Speaker 2: even talked about on the podcast we did. I go
Speaker 2: into the nook of your armpit. I didn't want my
Speaker 2: hair to smell bad.
Speaker 4: It's a stinky place to be.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's more. It's more hororful to say that I
Speaker 1: have bodyoder than I have bad breath. But I could
Speaker 1: see where you're coming. No way, it's because you don't
Speaker 1: have bad breath. But if you did have bread breath
Speaker 1: and Kielan said hey, I need you to brush your
Speaker 1: teeth before you come to bed, you would be way
Speaker 1: more offended. Yeah, that's fair. It's also just the logic
Speaker 1: for me is it's way easier to brush my teeth
Speaker 1: than it is to jump in the shower. It's twenty
Speaker 1: seconds versus So what's your answer body odor?
Speaker 4: Yeah, one hundred percent, because here's the logistics of it.
Speaker 4: You know, in a relationship, you're you're probably being pretty
Speaker 4: intimate at that person you know three four times a week,
Speaker 4: but you're kissing them, I don't know, twenty times a day.
Speaker 4: So would you rather have to deal with bad breath
Speaker 4: twenty times a day or bad body order for like
Speaker 4: three or four times a week. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1: This is a good one. Would you rather receive a
Speaker 1: thoughtful gift or an expensive gift from your partner? Partner?
Speaker 3: Park thoughtful? For sure?
Speaker 1: My brain is broked. Thoughtful, I think we could all agree.
Speaker 1: Thoughtful is definitely the way to go.
Speaker 3: That's easy.
Speaker 1: Well expensive, how expensive? Already talking?
Speaker 3: You wanted a new cameras?
Speaker 4: That's but it's also like, is a camera an expensive
Speaker 4: gift or a thoughtful gift? Because it's so expensive. It's expensive,
Speaker 4: it's more expensive than it is thoughtful. Yeah, all right,
Speaker 4: But now Jared makes a good point. It is a
Speaker 4: thoughtful expensive gift, So yeah, I'll just take both.
Speaker 1: Why not?
Speaker 4: Like, sure, I would love a signed Tom Brady jersey
Speaker 4: that is in this beautiful frame that's probably like four
Speaker 4: one thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: But is that a thoughtful gift or is that.
Speaker 4: An expensive gift?
Speaker 3: Expensive?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah, expensive? So maybe I do want an expensive gift?
Speaker 4: Never mind.
Speaker 1: Would you rather make your partner happy with a white
Speaker 1: lie or tell the blunt truth and hurt their feelings?
Speaker 4: White lie, white lie?
Speaker 1: Blunt truth. Oh you're gonna die on the context.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it totally depends on the context. If it's going
Speaker 2: to hurt your feelings. If you want me to say, hey,
Speaker 2: you smell great, I'll come cuddle you to spare your feelings,
Speaker 2: then sure, Oh.
Speaker 1: I guess yeah, you're right. I'm kind of agreeing with
Speaker 1: the opposite of what I want to.
Speaker 4: Be hearing that we're also operating under the presumption that
Speaker 4: a white lie has nothing to do with like infidelity
Speaker 4: or anything crazy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, a small white lie like you smell great.
Speaker 4: Exactly, So a white lie one hundred percent tell the
Speaker 4: white lie. I always say this because people just don't
Speaker 4: know timing, Like if, for example, one time, I'll never
Speaker 4: forget this. We were during COVID. We're at Ashley's parents' house.
Speaker 4: Her mom wore worked like six hours in the kitchen
Speaker 4: because she was trying to replicate Bubby's meatballs, which is
Speaker 4: Ashley's grandmother, and she made this great meatball recipe. Audie
Speaker 4: was trying to make it. She spent like six hours
Speaker 4: in the kitchen. We all sit down to eat. Ashley
Speaker 4: takes a bite and she goes, hmm, it's not that good.
Speaker 4: And I was like mortified because I'm like, do you
Speaker 4: know how hard your mom just ate may like worked
Speaker 4: to make this for you, and so like in that
Speaker 4: moment I was she was like, what do you want?
Speaker 4: And then Ashley was like, well, if I say it's good,
Speaker 4: she'll make it again and never know. And I'm like, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 4: no no no. All you have to do is sit
Speaker 4: down and be like, oh, Audrey, this is great. It's
Speaker 4: really good. You did a good job, Like is as
Speaker 4: good as Bubby's? Maybe not, but like sure, does it
Speaker 4: taste all that good? Probably not, but eat the meal.
Speaker 4: It's fine. And then afterwards, when she's like, I'm gonna
Speaker 4: try to make them meatballs again, be like, listen, the
Speaker 4: last time, it wasn't that good. Not don't like do
Speaker 4: it days afterwards, not directly after she put her sweat, tears,
Speaker 4: and most likely blood in that pasta so we could
Speaker 4: sit down and have a nice, warm meal together.
Speaker 1: So Jerry tells a white confirmed would you rather have
Speaker 1: no sex for the rest of your life or no
Speaker 1: meaningful conversations for the rest of your life.
Speaker 4: I don't feel like I have meaningful conversations right now, So.
Speaker 1: Trump, yeah, not with the sex.
Speaker 3: Caitlin, I don't know this one sucks you. Answer first,
Speaker 3: I would take.
Speaker 1: No meaningful conversations.
Speaker 2: Yeah, me too.
Speaker 1: Oh good answer. Would you rather know everything your loved
Speaker 1: ones have ever said about you? Or say every single
Speaker 1: one of your thoughts out loud? Interesting? I already kind
Speaker 1: of do say every single one of my thoughts out loud,
Speaker 1: but I definitely have a filter for the really bad ones.
Speaker 4: There's no way, you demented human being, there is no
Speaker 4: way all your thoughts are out there in the universe,
Speaker 4: because I know my thoughts are not. So Yeah, I
Speaker 4: would definitely rather know everybody's thoughts about me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm so sensitive, so I don't want to say that.
Speaker 2: But with canceled culture, you know, one bad thought and
Speaker 2: you're done.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I have so many bad thoughts too,
Speaker 1: where I would get canceled at and a snap of
Speaker 1: a finger.
Speaker 3: But everyone does.
Speaker 2: Think of the listeners out there, think of your worst thoughts,
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, have them.
Speaker 4: It's not even that I ever want to say these
Speaker 4: things or I believe these things, but there are just
Speaker 4: certain things that cross my mind. Oh yeah, I'm like,
Speaker 4: what is the worst thing I could possibly think of?
Speaker 1: Right now? Right? And It's like if I said that,
Speaker 1: oh my god, and then you think to you like
Speaker 1: think something bad and then you're like, wow, I am
Speaker 1: a horrible person for.
Speaker 4: Even all the time.
Speaker 3: So I think it. I'll go with the first one,
Speaker 3: dude whatever.
Speaker 4: Ashley' is like, oh you Jared, like you're so nice,
Speaker 4: and I'm like, Ashley, you don't know, only you need
Speaker 4: if you only knew, because sometimes I'll test it out
Speaker 4: on it and be like, oh, you know what's kind
Speaker 4: of funny and she'd be like, why would you ever
Speaker 4: think that? And like you've never thought of this or
Speaker 4: anything close to it? Am I that of a wacko?
Speaker 4: Or are you just that innocent? Because I can't tell
Speaker 4: because thats she's pretty innocent too.
Speaker 1: There is a I read this book about being a psychopath,
Speaker 1: and halfway through the book it's like, and if you've
Speaker 1: gotten this far and you're starting to think about whether
Speaker 1: or not you're a psychopath, that means that you're not
Speaker 1: because you have self awareness. So at least we have
Speaker 1: these bad thoughts, but we are self aware about how
Speaker 1: bad they are. I think that says something. I love it,
Speaker 1: and I don't think anyone is upsolve from having bad thoughts.
Speaker 2: I was talking to a friend recently about intrusive thoughts,
Speaker 2: which I think this is kind of in line with
Speaker 2: what we're talking about. And she's like, my intrusive thoughts
Speaker 2: scare me sometimes, and it's not necessarily that like I'm
Speaker 2: thinking about hurting myself.
Speaker 3: She said.
Speaker 2: She was talking to a doctor, and doctor said, the
Speaker 2: reasons that we have intrusive thoughts are because, like you know,
Speaker 2: back in Caveman times or like times before movies, we
Speaker 2: couldn't conceptualize, like you're standing at the edge of the cliff,
Speaker 2: what would happen?
Speaker 3: So it's like your mind telling you don't do that.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Interesting, there's a term for it.
Speaker 1: It's called the call of the void.
Speaker 3: Yeah that's what you said.
Speaker 1: Yep, Yeah, I have it all the time. I was
Speaker 1: just talking to someone about this the other day too,
Speaker 1: because I'm like so many times that I'm standing on
Speaker 1: a cliff, I just want to It's all that I
Speaker 1: want to jump off and die. I just want to
Speaker 1: know what would happen, Like what would the experience be like?
Speaker 1: Or like you're driving down the road on the interstate,
Speaker 1: what would happen if I just cranked the wheel to
Speaker 1: the left as hard as I possibly could. Or if
Speaker 1: I'm on a chair lift, what would happen if I
Speaker 1: just leaned forward and fell off this thing? I'm not
Speaker 1: suicidal by any stretch of the imagination. I just I
Speaker 1: go through like the mental gymnastics, to know what would
Speaker 1: it would? What would it be?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 1: I think everybody does. Yeah, they call the void also
Speaker 1: high place phenomenon is also a second phrase for that.
Speaker 1: But all right, one more? Would you rather? Would you
Speaker 1: rather your parents didn't like your partner or your friends
Speaker 1: didn't like your partner? Oh it's easy my parents.
Speaker 3: I think parents do.
Speaker 2: I spend more time with my our friends than we
Speaker 2: do my parents.
Speaker 1: But let's be honest. Your friends already don't.
Speaker 3: Like me, so, oh my god, my friends love you
Speaker 3: more than me.
Speaker 1: Oh oh that's not good.
Speaker 4: Oh wait, why do you think your friends don't like you?
Speaker 1: I was just being facetious. They love me.
Speaker 4: I bet they didn't like you at first. Well, Ashley's
Speaker 4: friends didn't like me at first when we started dating. Really,
Speaker 4: Oh of course we were friends for how long she
Speaker 4: wanted to be with me? And then all of a
Speaker 4: sudden we started dating. She was They were all very cautious, rightfully.
Speaker 1: So that's a challenge. That's definitely a hurtle to overcome
Speaker 1: for you, guys, I.
Speaker 2: Feel like, but he came back, so I feel like
Speaker 2: he proved himself pretty quickly.
Speaker 1: But also, your closest friends knew me before you met them,
Speaker 1: so it's a little different, right right.
Speaker 2: Well, my LA friends, Yeah, I met my LA friends
Speaker 2: through date and so it's different.
Speaker 3: So they probably did my North Carolina friends.
Speaker 2: I was at my North Carolina friend's house when I
Speaker 2: slid into your DMS the first time, so they always
Speaker 2: knew I had a thing for you.
Speaker 1: Well, that's good to know. I did not know that story.
Speaker 1: So that's a fun little tidbit. Uh Yeah. My parents, Well,
Speaker 1: it's tough because like my mom and heaven, I don't
Speaker 1: want her to dislike Kaylin, but like, it's not really
Speaker 1: going to affect me on a day to day basis.
Speaker 1: You know, if my friends didn't like you, it affect
Speaker 1: me a lot more locally.
Speaker 4: All right, Well, to answer an email before we end
Speaker 4: this podcast, this is from anonymous. I had a moment
Speaker 4: of weakness and went through my boyfriend's phone. I found
Speaker 4: a group chat with him and his friends, and they
Speaker 4: were speaking very poorly of me, damn. I know his
Speaker 4: friends were telling him he can do so much better,
Speaker 4: while his friends sounded like Dix can do better than me,
Speaker 4: and I'm not fun to be around. My boyfriend wasn't
Speaker 4: defending me, was actually contributing to the conversation and agreeing
Speaker 4: with them. Is this ever acceptable to do to your partner?
Speaker 4: We may have been in a fight when these texts
Speaker 4: were sent. I'm not one hundred percent sure, but maybe
Speaker 4: they could be the reason he was being mean. Should
Speaker 4: I forgive him? I still need to approach him about this,
Speaker 4: and don't know how he'll react. I mean, my assumption
Speaker 4: is that you'll bring it up to him and then
Speaker 4: he's going to ve about all these things that he
Speaker 4: has invented about before, and I'm not sure if the
Speaker 4: relationship is going to make it. That would be my assumption.
Speaker 4: As pessimistic and negative as that is.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, especially since you broke the trust by going
Speaker 2: through his phone.
Speaker 3: I think that's like something you should never do.
Speaker 2: And you have to start it off with that breaking
Speaker 2: his trust, and then he's saying these negative things. It
Speaker 2: just doesn't seem like a healthy relationship.
Speaker 1: M Yeah, that's tough. I mean, group chats can get
Speaker 1: kind of out of hand. Jared, I'm sure you know
Speaker 1: with your guy friends and Caitlyn, probably with your girlfriends too.
Speaker 2: Dude, So you're saying your friends talk cap about me, Well.
Speaker 1: That's what I was gonna I was gonna get to
Speaker 1: that point.
Speaker 4: We say a lot of weird, stupid, necessary things that
Speaker 4: have been said in guy group chats before. Yeah, it's
Speaker 4: just like it's I always think about if, like we
Speaker 4: ever have to turn our phone over to the FBI
Speaker 4: and then like in the court of law, these text
Speaker 4: messages are read out loud. I'm like, yeah, I didn't
Speaker 4: say it, but I was. I might have like, ha
Speaker 4: hat it, you know, just the ha ha.
Speaker 1: There's always a few friends that take it a step
Speaker 1: for that needs to be. But what I was gonna
Speaker 1: say was, despite all like the despicable stuff that gets
Speaker 1: said in those group chats, at least in my group chats,
Speaker 1: no one's ever like talking crap about their partner or
Speaker 1: someone else in that group chat's partner. So it is
Speaker 1: like definitely an escalation for this guy to be contributing
Speaker 1: to the crap talk about his girlfriend. I would freaking
Speaker 1: dump the dump the heck out of him, like if
Speaker 1: I if Kaylen found my phone and I was at
Speaker 1: a group chat with my friends and I was talking
Speaker 1: crap about Kaylin and she didn't dump me, I would
Speaker 1: be I would be so confused, because that's definitely something
Speaker 1: you should dump someone over.
Speaker 2: I think, yeah, definitely, your partner's supposed to be standing
Speaker 2: up for you and be like you're number one cheerleader.
Speaker 3: If he's not doing that, then then get.
Speaker 1: Rid of him drop. I would agree, man, all right.
Speaker 1: Next one, I'll read this one from anonymous as well.
Speaker 1: My boyfriend and I have been together for a while.
Speaker 1: It's a good relationship and I love him, but things
Speaker 1: could be so much better if he took care of himself.
Speaker 1: For context, my boyfriend struggles with mild depression. I try
Speaker 1: to help him as best I can, but it can
Speaker 1: be very dreaming it being his only support system. He
Speaker 1: has the resources to go to therapy and get antidepressants,
Speaker 1: but he refuses. He says therapy is stupid and he
Speaker 1: doesn't want to get on medication because it numbs your emotions.
Speaker 1: If he doesn't want to do therapy or take medication,
Speaker 1: I can't change that, But I don't know if I
Speaker 1: can handle being his sole support system forever. Is it
Speaker 1: worth staying in a relationship that feels so draining? I
Speaker 1: know this isn't his fault, and I feel so awful
Speaker 1: for having these feelings. If you have any advice, please
Speaker 1: let me know. Well, I will go first on this one,
Speaker 1: because you guys went first last time. I think not
Speaker 1: taking any depressants is not inherently a bad thing I
Speaker 1: would do. I would take medication as like a very
Speaker 1: very last resort for most things. But therapy is very
Speaker 1: very beneficial and very helpful. And the fact that he's
Speaker 1: so anti that is the biggest concern in my opinion.
Speaker 1: If someone has a problem and there it's not like
Speaker 1: it's not his.
Speaker 2: There was.
Speaker 1: I heard something the other day that I really liked.
Speaker 1: It's like, it's not your problem, but it's your responsibility.
Speaker 1: You know so, or it's not your fault, but it's
Speaker 1: your responsibility, I think is kind of the gist of
Speaker 1: what it was saying. So like depression, you know, it
Speaker 1: could be genetic, it could be a lot of things
Speaker 1: going on that could lend to that, but like it's
Speaker 1: your responsibility to be to knock yourself out of your
Speaker 1: own depression, whether that be through therapy or whatever it
Speaker 1: might be. So I think that's it's definitely makes a
Speaker 1: lot of sense to want to get out of a
Speaker 1: relationship where you feel like you're taking care of someone
Speaker 1: emotionally like that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd say have a conversation with him and tell them,
Speaker 2: you know, it's not necessarily fair for you. If you're
Speaker 2: not going to help yourself, then there's not much more
Speaker 2: I can do. I think it's important to have that conversation,
Speaker 2: and then if he doesn't want to go to therapy
Speaker 2: after that, then I think it's fair to leave. And
Speaker 2: I don't think necessarily pushing medication on someone is the
Speaker 2: right answer because medication has so many side effects and
Speaker 2: can do so many things to you. But yeah, like
Speaker 2: Dean said, if he doesn't want to go to therapy,
Speaker 2: then he's yeah, there's not much else you can do.
Speaker 4: I agree with Kalen in terms of just tell them,
Speaker 4: Like if you don't want to break up with them,
Speaker 4: tell them. That's exactly where your thought process is. I
Speaker 4: don't want this relationship to fail. I want it to continue.
Speaker 4: But unless you can work on yourself and help yourself
Speaker 4: so we're in a better place, you're in a better place.
Speaker 4: And you're happy, then I don't know if we can
Speaker 4: survive this, and then after that, if nothing changes, then
Speaker 4: of course you know you're going to have to do
Speaker 4: what you.
Speaker 2: Have to do.
Speaker 1: If I'm like if I'm one hundred pounds overweight and
Speaker 1: I hate my body and I identify it as a problem,
Speaker 1: but I still continue to do the same things that
Speaker 1: make me gain weight, like that's obviously an issue. And
Speaker 1: mental I guess well being is very similar to that,
Speaker 1: where it's like, if you identify a problem and you
Speaker 1: choose to do nothing about it, you're basically saying, like,
Speaker 1: this is a problem, I'm going to live with her
Speaker 1: the rest of my life. So I don't know. I
Speaker 1: think that's grounds for a serious conversation, and if that
Speaker 1: serious conversation doesn't improve anything, then you have to start
Speaker 1: kind of considering other options, like breaking up with them.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well that's going to do it.
Speaker 1: For this week's episode, we suck at BEU.
Speaker 3: Don't use that voice.
Speaker 1: I'm being sweet and sensual and lubricated.
Speaker 3: Stop it. We started off on a bad note.
Speaker 4: I don't think those three words really should be in
Speaker 4: the same sweet.
Speaker 1: Do you want to be smart, sensual, lubricated?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: That's going to do it. For this week's episode of
Speaker 1: Help We Suck At Being newly weds, Caitlin, I just
Speaker 1: I hope so much that this weekend is the best
Speaker 1: weekend of your life. I hope that Taylor Swift pulls
Speaker 1: you up on stage, sings you a ballad, lets you
Speaker 1: sing twenty two on stage with her, and then you
Speaker 1: guys walk off and you guys just hit it off,
Speaker 1: and she is so in love with you, and you
Speaker 1: on the spot invited to your bachelorette party. She cancels
Speaker 1: the next four days of touring, comes to the bachelorette
Speaker 1: with you, and you guys just have right off into
Speaker 1: the sunset together, not like romantically, but just as best friends.
Speaker 3: Just as best friends.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 3: Thank you. Thank you for manifesting that.
Speaker 4: Taylor is a big help We Suck be a Newlad's fan,
Speaker 4: so you know she'll be listening to this.
Speaker 1: Yes, do you think Taylor Swift is the most famous
Speaker 1: person in the world. Got to be up there, She's
Speaker 1: got to be top ten, She's easily top ten. I
Speaker 1: would say it's gotta be Taylor Swift. I mean, honestly,
Speaker 1: Kim Kardashian's up there, No, not over Beyonce. Kim's up there.
Speaker 1: I would say Kim's above Beyonce. What Yeah, I would say,
Speaker 1: Messi and Ronaldo and maybe course neymar are up there.
Speaker 3: Some I don't know who is, so he can't be
Speaker 3: that famous.
Speaker 1: Okay, gotcha? And some maybe politicians. But we can discredit
Speaker 1: or discount the politicians because they're I wouldn't say famous
Speaker 1: is the right word for a politician.
Speaker 4: But yeah, you know, Listen, Cruise is such an international
Speaker 4: old rockstar that you know, he's probably the most famous.
Speaker 4: He might be the most famous actor, it says. Dwayne Johnson,
Speaker 4: Wayn Johnson's probably up there too, Dwayne.
Speaker 2: Johnson, Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber.
Speaker 3: Rihanna interesting.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that is interesting. I don't know if I mean.
Speaker 4: Rihanna is huge.
Speaker 1: Obviously, I got Musk, Rinaldo, Messi, Zuckerberg, Dwayne, Bill Gates.
Speaker 1: Bill Gates is probably up there as well. But yeah,
Speaker 1: that's awesome that you and the eighth most famous person
Speaker 1: in the world there are going to be best friends
Speaker 1: after this weekend. I can't wait wait to hear all
Speaker 1: the stories.
Speaker 4: It'd be fun.
Speaker 1: It would be pretty fun. All right. Well, I's gonna
Speaker 1: do it. We're gonna stop taking up so much of
Speaker 1: your time. Thank you guys so much for listening to
Speaker 1: this podcast. Please leave us a five star review. Thank
Speaker 1: you guys so much for listening. I can't wait until
Speaker 1: we get to talk to your listening holes next week,
Speaker 1: where maybe we suck just a little bit less. Thanks
Speaker 1: for listening. Follow us on Instagram at help we Suck
Speaker 1: at being Newlyweds.
Speaker 2: And email us at Newlyweds at iHeartRadio dot com.
Speaker 1: Make sure to write us a review and leave us
Speaker 1: five stars.
Speaker 4: We'll see you next time.
Speaker 3: M HM.