WEBVTT - Inviting the Intrusive Thoughts 0:00:00.320 --> 0:00:02.240 Help We Suck At Being Newlywed? 0:00:02.320 --> 0:00:05.600 With Dean Aungler, Haylen Miller Keys, and Jared haven An 0:00:05.600 --> 0:00:06.880 iHeartRadio podcast. 0:00:09.160 --> 0:00:14.000 Hello everybody, and welcome to a sweet sensual episode of 0:00:14.120 --> 0:00:17.720 Help We Suck At Being Newly Weds? Why is it sensual, 0:00:17.760 --> 0:00:20.279 you may ask, Well, it's because we're going to talk 0:00:20.320 --> 0:00:24.680 in a sweet, low sexy voice of this the entire episode. 0:00:24.760 --> 0:00:27.360 So buckle up, you're not even doing it right. 0:00:27.720 --> 0:00:28.920 Get that lube ready. 0:00:30.160 --> 0:00:33.320 This is where we're going, just lost. 0:00:33.479 --> 0:00:35.639 We're going deep, and you want to make sure you're 0:00:35.640 --> 0:00:39.160 properly lubricated. It's it's a proverbial. It's a proverbial lube, 0:00:39.159 --> 0:00:42.080 you guys. It's a mental lube. Lube your brains for 0:00:42.159 --> 0:00:45.479 the deepness we're about to uncover and go towards. 0:00:45.640 --> 0:00:46.960 I hate this so much. 0:00:47.080 --> 0:00:48.240 What are we doing today, Kaitlin? 0:00:49.320 --> 0:00:53.240 Today we are having a fun little game called would 0:00:53.280 --> 0:00:53.680 you rather? 0:00:54.360 --> 0:00:56.840 I love? What you rather? Put a finger down? If 0:00:57.240 --> 0:01:00.400 you've talked about lube on a podcast, that's right, PG, 0:01:01.800 --> 0:01:02.480 would you rather? 0:01:04.000 --> 0:01:04.120 Oh? 0:01:04.200 --> 0:01:09.959 Yeah, all right, I have established I'm not smarter than 0:01:09.959 --> 0:01:13.720 a fifth grader. That's yeah? 0:01:13.760 --> 0:01:15.600 Would you rather? We've never have you, guys ever done 0:01:15.600 --> 0:01:16.520 this on the podcast before. 0:01:17.640 --> 0:01:21.759 I'm sure we have at something in extent some at 0:01:21.760 --> 0:01:24.480 some point in this four five years. 0:01:24.640 --> 0:01:28.399 Could god, how that's all I need to know? 0:01:28.880 --> 0:01:29.920 Uh? 0:01:30.080 --> 0:01:30.800 Would you rather? 0:01:30.880 --> 0:01:33.040 All right? Yeah? Would you rather? Obviously we all know 0:01:33.280 --> 0:01:35.560 the name of this game here? Would you rather do 0:01:35.680 --> 0:01:37.920 one thing over the other? So we'll do this a 0:01:37.920 --> 0:01:41.000 little rapid fire, go through these, answer a couple of emails. 0:01:41.240 --> 0:01:41.800 Here we go. 0:01:41.880 --> 0:01:45.280 Would you rather Dean and Kaylin are uh argue all 0:01:45.400 --> 0:01:48.920 night to resolve a conflict? Or and the argument unresolved 0:01:48.920 --> 0:01:49.440 before bed? 0:01:50.120 --> 0:01:51.800 And the argument unresolved before bed? 0:01:53.160 --> 0:01:55.920 I like to what's the first one? 0:01:57.760 --> 0:02:00.360 What would you rather argue all night to resolve in issue? 0:02:00.400 --> 0:02:02.080 Or just go to bed with the argument? 0:02:02.160 --> 0:02:02.320 Yeah? 0:02:03.440 --> 0:02:03.880 Go to bed? 0:02:03.960 --> 0:02:05.880 I need I need to think. I can't. I'm not 0:02:06.040 --> 0:02:08.120 like in the moment argue. 0:02:07.920 --> 0:02:11.840 Argument, Kayln needs to go to bed, wake up, eat breakfast, 0:02:12.000 --> 0:02:14.520 have a cup of tea, and then we can continue 0:02:14.520 --> 0:02:16.560 the argument. I'm not arguing with Kaylen on an empty 0:02:16.560 --> 0:02:19.239 stomach and while she's tired, because no matter what, I'm 0:02:19.320 --> 0:02:20.320 losing that argument. 0:02:21.240 --> 0:02:21.560 True. 0:02:21.760 --> 0:02:24.160 I'm glad you learned Jared's Ashley. 0:02:24.480 --> 0:02:26.360 Ashley is always like you can't go to bed mad, 0:02:26.480 --> 0:02:28.280 and I'm like, but listen, we're gonna wake up with 0:02:28.320 --> 0:02:30.800 cooler heads and everything's going to be fine. So I agree, 0:02:31.040 --> 0:02:33.400 go to bed, don't resolve it. He'll resolve itself in 0:02:33.440 --> 0:02:34.960 the morning, hopefully. 0:02:34.960 --> 0:02:35.280 All right. 0:02:35.320 --> 0:02:38.359 If not, you break up. Would you rather be embarrassed 0:02:38.440 --> 0:02:43.280 in front of your in laws or be embarrassed in 0:02:43.320 --> 0:02:47.600 front of your partner's boss. Oh, that's what we wouldn't want. 0:02:47.919 --> 0:02:51.040 Are you my partner's boss. Who's my partner's boss? Easton? 0:02:51.120 --> 0:02:52.359 Yeah, I'll take that then. 0:02:52.320 --> 0:02:53.120 Sugar Sugarman. 0:02:53.240 --> 0:02:57.280 Sugarman, Well, I mean, Sugarman and all of us have 0:02:57.320 --> 0:02:59.440 a funny relationship where we all embarrass ourselves in front 0:02:59.440 --> 0:03:00.760 of each other all the time, So I'll take that 0:03:00.960 --> 0:03:01.560 for sure. 0:03:02.120 --> 0:03:05.679 Yeah, yeah, I do feel like you've been embarrassed in 0:03:05.720 --> 0:03:06.679 front of my grandparents. 0:03:07.000 --> 0:03:09.760 Dean is like, you know, I embarrassed myself running joke 0:03:09.800 --> 0:03:11.240 that he's he's a golden retriever. 0:03:11.400 --> 0:03:14.560 You know, he kind of just bounces back from anything, 0:03:15.160 --> 0:03:17.440 you know, the crazy things he said to my Yeah, 0:03:17.800 --> 0:03:18.520 crazy things. 0:03:18.320 --> 0:03:21.120 He said to my grandparents. He nothing really affects him. 0:03:21.680 --> 0:03:23.880 I remember we talked about this on the podcast before, 0:03:23.919 --> 0:03:26.239 but talking about not knowing if I'm gay because I've 0:03:26.240 --> 0:03:30.200 never kissed a guy, or no, because I've never a 0:03:30.240 --> 0:03:33.400 male in front of her eighty two year old former 0:03:33.520 --> 0:03:36.800 FBI got grandfather, and he still likes me. I think 0:03:36.920 --> 0:03:38.680 I think he still likes me despite all that, So 0:03:38.720 --> 0:03:39.160 that's good. 0:03:39.880 --> 0:03:41.440 He loves you, have a lot. He loves you like 0:03:41.480 --> 0:03:41.840 a son. 0:03:42.600 --> 0:03:45.480 I love him like a grandpa. So what about you, guys? 0:03:46.640 --> 0:03:48.800 No, I would rather be embarrassed in front of my 0:03:48.800 --> 0:03:51.200 in laws, just because I'm so comfortable with Ashley's parents 0:03:51.200 --> 0:03:55.880 that I feel like they have a pretty good idea 0:03:55.880 --> 0:03:59.080 of who I am. Would you rather be in a 0:03:59.120 --> 0:04:03.720 relationship with someone who never says I love you or 0:04:03.960 --> 0:04:08.800 be in a relationship with someone who never hugs you? 0:04:08.880 --> 0:04:13.600 They're both terrible options. I think hug I'd rather be. 0:04:13.600 --> 0:04:15.640 In a relationship with someone that says I never I 0:04:15.680 --> 0:04:18.440 don't love you or not. 0:04:18.120 --> 0:04:21.720 But by just hugging you, that's not loving. 0:04:22.320 --> 0:04:25.880 The hug says all I need to know I love you, 0:04:25.920 --> 0:04:28.520 So it would you rather, by the way, I'm not saying, 0:04:28.560 --> 0:04:30.920 don't say you love me. I'm just choosing between the 0:04:30.920 --> 0:04:31.400 two auctions. 0:04:31.480 --> 0:04:32.800 That's the headline. You got it. 0:04:33.640 --> 0:04:36.120 I've given hugs to many people who I don't love. 0:04:36.320 --> 0:04:39.600 So yeah, you've also probably said I love you to 0:04:39.680 --> 0:04:42.040 people that you don't hug. Wait does that make sense? 0:04:42.360 --> 0:04:43.960 But you've also said I love you to people that 0:04:44.040 --> 0:04:46.520 you no longer love, So love if by fleeting. 0:04:47.360 --> 0:04:50.520 I've definitely hugged every single person that I said I 0:04:50.560 --> 0:04:53.040 love you too. There's no way, no way that I 0:04:53.080 --> 0:04:55.200 have ever said I love you to someone and never 0:04:55.240 --> 0:04:57.680 hugged them. Having said that, there's definitely people that I 0:04:57.720 --> 0:05:00.240 have hugged and never said I love you, So I 0:05:00.279 --> 0:05:02.359 find that I love you is more important. 0:05:02.400 --> 0:05:04.800 Two questions for you. Have you ever hugged Tom Brady? 0:05:04.839 --> 0:05:06.360 And have you ever hugged Tom Cruise? 0:05:06.880 --> 0:05:12.520 And I have not, and I probably have told them 0:05:12.560 --> 0:05:15.560 in my blackout stage of meeting them that I love you. 0:05:16.040 --> 0:05:18.839 There you go, So you just proved yourself wrong. But 0:05:18.920 --> 0:05:21.440 I love them and you haven't hugged them. You said 0:05:21.480 --> 0:05:23.600 you've never told someone you love them and not hugged them. 0:05:23.720 --> 0:05:26.120 But that's my point. I would rather tell or hear 0:05:26.200 --> 0:05:29.560 someone say I love you than either receiver give a hug. 0:05:30.080 --> 0:05:33.240 M Okay, okay, agree to disagree on that one. Next one, 0:05:33.279 --> 0:05:35.520 would you rather have your forever home in a tiny 0:05:35.560 --> 0:05:37.360 town or a big city. 0:05:39.240 --> 0:05:40.239 I have a tiny town. 0:05:40.440 --> 0:05:41.720 Yeah, do I even need to answer this? 0:05:41.880 --> 0:05:45.279 Rhode Island boy, I wouldn't mind a dream home in 0:05:45.320 --> 0:05:48.160 Los Angeles. That's a big city, but I think my 0:05:48.960 --> 0:05:51.400 I would lead tiny town as well. Would you rather 0:05:51.480 --> 0:05:54.960 have a tiny town, tiny tim in a tiny town? 0:05:55.000 --> 0:05:56.920 Would you rather have a partner who never has time 0:05:56.960 --> 0:05:58.960 to spend with you or a partner who's clingy and 0:05:59.040 --> 0:06:00.280 never leaves you alone? 0:06:02.080 --> 0:06:03.200 Answer carefully? 0:06:04.000 --> 0:06:07.359 Oh goodness, gracious, what do you guys think? 0:06:07.920 --> 0:06:09.279 That's so hard? 0:06:09.720 --> 0:06:11.880 Would you rather have a partner who never has to 0:06:11.920 --> 0:06:17.200 spend time with you or a partner? Oh wow, that's tough. 0:06:17.480 --> 0:06:22.120 I probably lean towards spending a partner who never has 0:06:22.120 --> 0:06:25.400 to spend time with you. That's kind of that says 0:06:25.960 --> 0:06:28.719 because it's just like I need, you know, just I'm 0:06:28.760 --> 0:06:30.480 an independent person a lot of times, and there are 0:06:30.480 --> 0:06:32.680 times where I just need to like shut off the 0:06:32.720 --> 0:06:35.599 world and just and that's like literally, like so like 0:06:35.640 --> 0:06:37.680 when Dawson goes to bed sometimes I'm like I'm just 0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:40.240 gonna you know, Ashley, you just sit on your side 0:06:40.279 --> 0:06:41.680 of the couch and sit on mine. It's not like 0:06:41.720 --> 0:06:44.359 we're not loving each other, but just we need to 0:06:44.400 --> 0:06:45.800 like decompress by ourselves. 0:06:46.240 --> 0:06:51.520 Yeah, same with you, Kaylin. Yeah that hurts, That really stings. 0:06:53.200 --> 0:06:55.440 A cleaning person who never leaves you alone sounds like 0:06:56.480 --> 0:06:57.720 a divorce waiting to happen. 0:06:58.120 --> 0:06:59.919 Yeah, what do you think older were? 0:07:00.960 --> 0:07:03.599 I think, of the two options, the only thing you 0:07:03.600 --> 0:07:05.560 can control is yourself. So I would also rather be 0:07:05.640 --> 0:07:09.279 left alone, unless, like Kaylen, if you were as much 0:07:09.320 --> 0:07:11.640 of an idiot as I am, and you wanted to 0:07:11.680 --> 0:07:15.040 skydive and climb a bunch of mountains. I actually, it's 0:07:15.080 --> 0:07:16.560 so hard to say. I don't know. I think I 0:07:16.600 --> 0:07:19.960 agree with you. Guys. I would rather be with someone that. 0:07:20.320 --> 0:07:23.560 Never wants to everyone wants to spend time with you. 0:07:24.280 --> 0:07:26.560 Just neither option really sounds good. Would you rather have 0:07:26.600 --> 0:07:29.960 a partner with bad breath or body odor? And Kaylan, 0:07:30.720 --> 0:07:33.720 we all know you have both your partners. Your partner 0:07:33.760 --> 0:07:34.160 has both. 0:07:34.200 --> 0:07:37.840 I guess damn bro calling her out body odor? 0:07:39.760 --> 0:07:40.080 Really? 0:07:41.360 --> 0:07:44.440 Yeah? Well that's I mean, if I'm being honest, that's 0:07:44.440 --> 0:07:46.920 what I live with, and I'm fine with it. You're not. 0:07:47.800 --> 0:07:53.200 You're not fine. I rarely get offended by anything anyone 0:07:53.240 --> 0:07:56.000 ever says to me. I was offended like a month 0:07:56.000 --> 0:07:58.400 ago when you told me I had to shower before 0:07:58.400 --> 0:07:58.880 I came to. 0:07:58.880 --> 0:08:01.440 Bed because I couldn't cuddle you. I feel like we 0:08:01.480 --> 0:08:03.600 even talked about on the podcast we did. I go 0:08:03.880 --> 0:08:06.320 into the nook of your armpit. I didn't want my 0:08:06.360 --> 0:08:07.160 hair to smell bad. 0:08:07.280 --> 0:08:08.320 It's a stinky place to be. 0:08:09.120 --> 0:08:11.840 Yeah, it's more. It's more hororful to say that I 0:08:11.840 --> 0:08:13.760 have bodyoder than I have bad breath. But I could 0:08:13.760 --> 0:08:16.640 see where you're coming. No way, it's because you don't 0:08:16.680 --> 0:08:18.480 have bad breath. But if you did have bread breath 0:08:18.480 --> 0:08:20.120 and Kielan said hey, I need you to brush your 0:08:20.120 --> 0:08:22.280 teeth before you come to bed, you would be way 0:08:22.320 --> 0:08:26.760 more offended. Yeah, that's fair. It's also just the logic 0:08:26.840 --> 0:08:28.920 for me is it's way easier to brush my teeth 0:08:28.920 --> 0:08:31.840 than it is to jump in the shower. It's twenty 0:08:31.880 --> 0:08:36.439 seconds versus So what's your answer body odor? 0:08:36.880 --> 0:08:39.959 Yeah, one hundred percent, because here's the logistics of it. 0:08:40.559 --> 0:08:43.640 You know, in a relationship, you're you're probably being pretty 0:08:43.679 --> 0:08:46.560 intimate at that person you know three four times a week, 0:08:46.760 --> 0:08:50.400 but you're kissing them, I don't know, twenty times a day. 0:08:50.600 --> 0:08:52.320 So would you rather have to deal with bad breath 0:08:52.360 --> 0:08:54.559 twenty times a day or bad body order for like 0:08:54.640 --> 0:08:56.480 three or four times a week. You know what I mean? 0:09:08.440 --> 0:09:10.000 This is a good one. Would you rather receive a 0:09:10.040 --> 0:09:13.840 thoughtful gift or an expensive gift from your partner? Partner? 0:09:14.320 --> 0:09:17.840 Park thoughtful? For sure? 0:09:18.200 --> 0:09:24.840 My brain is broked. Thoughtful, I think we could all agree. 0:09:24.880 --> 0:09:26.240 Thoughtful is definitely the way to go. 0:09:26.480 --> 0:09:26.960 That's easy. 0:09:28.440 --> 0:09:31.280 Well expensive, how expensive? Already talking? 0:09:31.400 --> 0:09:32.400 You wanted a new cameras? 0:09:32.480 --> 0:09:37.520 That's but it's also like, is a camera an expensive 0:09:37.559 --> 0:09:42.040 gift or a thoughtful gift? Because it's so expensive. It's expensive, 0:09:42.679 --> 0:09:47.160 it's more expensive than it is thoughtful. Yeah, all right, 0:09:47.679 --> 0:09:49.199 But now Jared makes a good point. It is a 0:09:49.240 --> 0:09:51.120 thoughtful expensive gift, So yeah, I'll just take both. 0:09:51.160 --> 0:09:51.400 Why not? 0:09:52.120 --> 0:09:56.319 Like, sure, I would love a signed Tom Brady jersey 0:09:56.520 --> 0:09:59.959 that is in this beautiful frame that's probably like four 0:10:00.000 --> 0:10:00.679 one thousand dollars. 0:10:00.760 --> 0:10:02.200 But is that a thoughtful gift or is that. 0:10:02.280 --> 0:10:03.440 An expensive gift? 0:10:04.480 --> 0:10:05.000 Expensive? 0:10:05.400 --> 0:10:07.640 Yeah? Yeah, expensive? So maybe I do want an expensive gift? 0:10:07.720 --> 0:10:08.040 Never mind. 0:10:08.080 --> 0:10:10.040 Would you rather make your partner happy with a white 0:10:10.080 --> 0:10:12.280 lie or tell the blunt truth and hurt their feelings? 0:10:12.840 --> 0:10:15.280 White lie, white lie? 0:10:16.080 --> 0:10:20.640 Blunt truth. Oh you're gonna die on the context. 0:10:21.800 --> 0:10:24.280 Yeah, it totally depends on the context. If it's going 0:10:24.320 --> 0:10:26.640 to hurt your feelings. If you want me to say, hey, 0:10:26.960 --> 0:10:30.240 you smell great, I'll come cuddle you to spare your feelings, 0:10:30.320 --> 0:10:31.720 then sure, Oh. 0:10:31.800 --> 0:10:33.520 I guess yeah, you're right. I'm kind of agreeing with 0:10:35.160 --> 0:10:36.400 the opposite of what I want to. 0:10:36.400 --> 0:10:39.240 Be hearing that we're also operating under the presumption that 0:10:39.280 --> 0:10:41.920 a white lie has nothing to do with like infidelity 0:10:42.080 --> 0:10:43.000 or anything crazy. 0:10:43.080 --> 0:10:45.520 Yeah, no, a small white lie like you smell great. 0:10:45.679 --> 0:10:48.280 Exactly, So a white lie one hundred percent tell the 0:10:48.280 --> 0:10:50.520 white lie. I always say this because people just don't 0:10:50.559 --> 0:10:54.840 know timing, Like if, for example, one time, I'll never 0:10:54.880 --> 0:10:59.240 forget this. We were during COVID. We're at Ashley's parents' house. 0:10:59.440 --> 0:11:02.520 Her mom wore worked like six hours in the kitchen 0:11:02.559 --> 0:11:05.599 because she was trying to replicate Bubby's meatballs, which is 0:11:05.640 --> 0:11:09.880 Ashley's grandmother, and she made this great meatball recipe. Audie 0:11:09.960 --> 0:11:12.440 was trying to make it. She spent like six hours 0:11:12.480 --> 0:11:14.720 in the kitchen. We all sit down to eat. Ashley 0:11:14.800 --> 0:11:17.960 takes a bite and she goes, hmm, it's not that good. 0:11:18.559 --> 0:11:21.199 And I was like mortified because I'm like, do you 0:11:21.280 --> 0:11:24.520 know how hard your mom just ate may like worked 0:11:24.760 --> 0:11:26.719 to make this for you, and so like in that 0:11:26.840 --> 0:11:28.280 moment I was she was like, what do you want? 0:11:28.600 --> 0:11:30.160 And then Ashley was like, well, if I say it's good, 0:11:30.240 --> 0:11:32.400 she'll make it again and never know. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, 0:11:32.480 --> 0:11:34.240 no no no. All you have to do is sit 0:11:34.320 --> 0:11:36.040 down and be like, oh, Audrey, this is great. It's 0:11:36.080 --> 0:11:37.800 really good. You did a good job, Like is as 0:11:37.840 --> 0:11:40.199 good as Bubby's? Maybe not, but like sure, does it 0:11:40.200 --> 0:11:42.440 taste all that good? Probably not, but eat the meal. 0:11:42.600 --> 0:11:44.840 It's fine. And then afterwards, when she's like, I'm gonna 0:11:44.880 --> 0:11:46.959 try to make them meatballs again, be like, listen, the 0:11:47.040 --> 0:11:49.520 last time, it wasn't that good. Not don't like do 0:11:49.640 --> 0:11:53.920 it days afterwards, not directly after she put her sweat, tears, 0:11:54.000 --> 0:11:56.640 and most likely blood in that pasta so we could 0:11:56.679 --> 0:11:58.360 sit down and have a nice, warm meal together. 0:11:59.040 --> 0:12:01.920 So Jerry tells a white confirmed would you rather have 0:12:02.040 --> 0:12:04.000 no sex for the rest of your life or no 0:12:04.200 --> 0:12:06.680 meaningful conversations for the rest of your life. 0:12:08.320 --> 0:12:10.800 I don't feel like I have meaningful conversations right now, So. 0:12:13.080 --> 0:12:16.480 Trump, yeah, not with the sex. 0:12:19.120 --> 0:12:25.839 Caitlin, I don't know this one sucks you. Answer first, 0:12:28.120 --> 0:12:28.840 I would take. 0:12:28.760 --> 0:12:30.080 No meaningful conversations. 0:12:31.160 --> 0:12:31.720 Yeah, me too. 0:12:32.280 --> 0:12:38.640 Oh good answer. Would you rather know everything your loved 0:12:38.679 --> 0:12:41.360 ones have ever said about you? Or say every single 0:12:41.760 --> 0:12:46.320 one of your thoughts out loud? Interesting? I already kind 0:12:46.360 --> 0:12:48.040 of do say every single one of my thoughts out loud, 0:12:48.120 --> 0:12:51.120 but I definitely have a filter for the really bad ones. 0:12:51.840 --> 0:12:56.000 There's no way, you demented human being, there is no 0:12:56.240 --> 0:12:58.920 way all your thoughts are out there in the universe, 0:12:58.960 --> 0:13:02.959 because I know my thoughts are not. So Yeah, I 0:13:02.960 --> 0:13:06.120 would definitely rather know everybody's thoughts about me. 0:13:06.760 --> 0:13:09.640 Yeah, I'm so sensitive, so I don't want to say that. 0:13:09.840 --> 0:13:13.640 But with canceled culture, you know, one bad thought and 0:13:13.679 --> 0:13:14.080 you're done. 0:13:14.760 --> 0:13:16.760 Oh my gosh, I have so many bad thoughts too, 0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:18.959 where I would get canceled at and a snap of 0:13:19.000 --> 0:13:19.400 a finger. 0:13:19.880 --> 0:13:20.920 But everyone does. 0:13:21.080 --> 0:13:23.960 Think of the listeners out there, think of your worst thoughts, 0:13:24.160 --> 0:13:24.959 Oh yeah, have them. 0:13:25.520 --> 0:13:28.360 It's not even that I ever want to say these 0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:31.360 things or I believe these things, but there are just 0:13:31.400 --> 0:13:34.079 certain things that cross my mind. Oh yeah, I'm like, 0:13:34.160 --> 0:13:36.319 what is the worst thing I could possibly think of? 0:13:36.480 --> 0:13:39.599 Right now? Right? And It's like if I said that, 0:13:40.200 --> 0:13:42.319 oh my god, and then you think to you like 0:13:42.400 --> 0:13:44.280 think something bad and then you're like, wow, I am 0:13:44.320 --> 0:13:45.360 a horrible person for. 0:13:45.440 --> 0:13:46.920 Even all the time. 0:13:48.040 --> 0:13:49.680 So I think it. I'll go with the first one, 0:13:50.120 --> 0:13:50.600 dude whatever. 0:13:50.679 --> 0:13:53.200 Ashley' is like, oh you Jared, like you're so nice, 0:13:53.320 --> 0:13:56.360 and I'm like, Ashley, you don't know, only you need 0:13:57.160 --> 0:13:59.640 if you only knew, because sometimes I'll test it out 0:13:59.679 --> 0:14:01.040 on it and be like, oh, you know what's kind 0:14:01.040 --> 0:14:03.200 of funny and she'd be like, why would you ever 0:14:03.360 --> 0:14:06.000 think that? And like you've never thought of this or 0:14:06.040 --> 0:14:09.360 anything close to it? Am I that of a wacko? 0:14:09.800 --> 0:14:11.640 Or are you just that innocent? Because I can't tell 0:14:11.640 --> 0:14:12.880 because thats she's pretty innocent too. 0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:15.160 There is a I read this book about being a psychopath, 0:14:15.240 --> 0:14:17.319 and halfway through the book it's like, and if you've 0:14:17.320 --> 0:14:19.040 gotten this far and you're starting to think about whether 0:14:19.120 --> 0:14:20.880 or not you're a psychopath, that means that you're not 0:14:21.120 --> 0:14:23.200 because you have self awareness. So at least we have 0:14:23.280 --> 0:14:25.160 these bad thoughts, but we are self aware about how 0:14:25.200 --> 0:14:27.480 bad they are. I think that says something. I love it, 0:14:27.560 --> 0:14:29.600 and I don't think anyone is upsolve from having bad thoughts. 0:14:29.720 --> 0:14:31.960 I was talking to a friend recently about intrusive thoughts, 0:14:32.000 --> 0:14:33.480 which I think this is kind of in line with 0:14:33.560 --> 0:14:36.160 what we're talking about. And she's like, my intrusive thoughts 0:14:36.200 --> 0:14:39.800 scare me sometimes, and it's not necessarily that like I'm 0:14:39.880 --> 0:14:41.120 thinking about hurting myself. 0:14:41.720 --> 0:14:42.120 She said. 0:14:42.120 --> 0:14:43.960 She was talking to a doctor, and doctor said, the 0:14:44.040 --> 0:14:47.320 reasons that we have intrusive thoughts are because, like you know, 0:14:47.560 --> 0:14:51.400 back in Caveman times or like times before movies, we 0:14:51.520 --> 0:14:54.160 couldn't conceptualize, like you're standing at the edge of the cliff, 0:14:54.360 --> 0:14:55.000 what would happen? 0:14:55.120 --> 0:14:57.040 So it's like your mind telling you don't do that. 0:14:57.560 --> 0:14:57.760 Yeah. 0:14:58.200 --> 0:14:59.560 Interesting, there's a term for it. 0:14:59.600 --> 0:15:00.960 It's called the call of the void. 0:15:01.440 --> 0:15:02.440 Yeah that's what you said. 0:15:02.520 --> 0:15:04.960 Yep, Yeah, I have it all the time. I was 0:15:05.000 --> 0:15:06.400 just talking to someone about this the other day too, 0:15:06.400 --> 0:15:08.120 because I'm like so many times that I'm standing on 0:15:08.160 --> 0:15:09.720 a cliff, I just want to It's all that I 0:15:09.800 --> 0:15:12.120 want to jump off and die. I just want to 0:15:12.200 --> 0:15:14.960 know what would happen, Like what would the experience be like? 0:15:15.200 --> 0:15:17.440 Or like you're driving down the road on the interstate, 0:15:17.520 --> 0:15:19.800 what would happen if I just cranked the wheel to 0:15:19.840 --> 0:15:22.520 the left as hard as I possibly could. Or if 0:15:22.520 --> 0:15:23.880 I'm on a chair lift, what would happen if I 0:15:23.920 --> 0:15:25.640 just leaned forward and fell off this thing? I'm not 0:15:25.720 --> 0:15:28.920 suicidal by any stretch of the imagination. I just I 0:15:29.000 --> 0:15:31.400 go through like the mental gymnastics, to know what would 0:15:31.560 --> 0:15:32.400 it would? What would it be? 0:15:32.600 --> 0:15:32.640 Like? 0:15:33.120 --> 0:15:36.360 I think everybody does. Yeah, they call the void also 0:15:37.240 --> 0:15:40.760 high place phenomenon is also a second phrase for that. 0:15:40.880 --> 0:15:42.360 But all right, one more? Would you rather? Would you 0:15:42.480 --> 0:15:45.280 rather your parents didn't like your partner or your friends 0:15:45.520 --> 0:15:48.560 didn't like your partner? Oh it's easy my parents. 0:15:49.200 --> 0:15:49.960 I think parents do. 0:15:50.040 --> 0:15:52.440 I spend more time with my our friends than we 0:15:52.520 --> 0:15:53.360 do my parents. 0:15:53.520 --> 0:15:55.120 But let's be honest. Your friends already don't. 0:15:55.000 --> 0:15:57.760 Like me, so, oh my god, my friends love you 0:15:57.840 --> 0:15:58.200 more than me. 0:15:58.640 --> 0:16:00.320 Oh oh that's not good. 0:16:00.400 --> 0:16:02.560 Oh wait, why do you think your friends don't like you? 0:16:03.280 --> 0:16:05.000 I was just being facetious. They love me. 0:16:05.800 --> 0:16:09.680 I bet they didn't like you at first. Well, Ashley's 0:16:09.680 --> 0:16:12.160 friends didn't like me at first when we started dating. Really, 0:16:12.760 --> 0:16:14.680 Oh of course we were friends for how long she 0:16:14.720 --> 0:16:15.640 wanted to be with me? And then all of a 0:16:15.640 --> 0:16:19.240 sudden we started dating. She was They were all very cautious, rightfully. 0:16:18.960 --> 0:16:21.640 So that's a challenge. That's definitely a hurtle to overcome 0:16:21.680 --> 0:16:22.240 for you, guys, I. 0:16:22.240 --> 0:16:24.200 Feel like, but he came back, so I feel like 0:16:24.240 --> 0:16:25.480 he proved himself pretty quickly. 0:16:25.760 --> 0:16:28.880 But also, your closest friends knew me before you met them, 0:16:29.080 --> 0:16:31.520 so it's a little different, right right. 0:16:31.640 --> 0:16:34.240 Well, my LA friends, Yeah, I met my LA friends 0:16:34.280 --> 0:16:35.440 through date and so it's different. 0:16:36.560 --> 0:16:38.360 So they probably did my North Carolina friends. 0:16:38.480 --> 0:16:40.240 I was at my North Carolina friend's house when I 0:16:40.240 --> 0:16:42.840 slid into your DMS the first time, so they always 0:16:42.880 --> 0:16:43.840 knew I had a thing for you. 0:16:44.320 --> 0:16:46.400 Well, that's good to know. I did not know that story. 0:16:46.480 --> 0:16:50.400 So that's a fun little tidbit. Uh Yeah. My parents, Well, 0:16:50.480 --> 0:16:52.840 it's tough because like my mom and heaven, I don't 0:16:52.840 --> 0:16:55.600 want her to dislike Kaylin, but like, it's not really 0:16:55.640 --> 0:16:57.240 going to affect me on a day to day basis. 0:16:57.280 --> 0:16:58.880 You know, if my friends didn't like you, it affect 0:16:58.920 --> 0:17:00.360 me a lot more locally. 0:17:13.200 --> 0:17:15.679 All right, Well, to answer an email before we end 0:17:15.760 --> 0:17:19.920 this podcast, this is from anonymous. I had a moment 0:17:20.000 --> 0:17:22.160 of weakness and went through my boyfriend's phone. I found 0:17:22.200 --> 0:17:24.639 a group chat with him and his friends, and they 0:17:24.680 --> 0:17:28.480 were speaking very poorly of me, damn. I know his 0:17:28.600 --> 0:17:30.840 friends were telling him he can do so much better, 0:17:30.880 --> 0:17:33.680 while his friends sounded like Dix can do better than me, 0:17:33.920 --> 0:17:36.520 and I'm not fun to be around. My boyfriend wasn't 0:17:36.560 --> 0:17:40.480 defending me, was actually contributing to the conversation and agreeing 0:17:40.560 --> 0:17:43.080 with them. Is this ever acceptable to do to your partner? 0:17:43.440 --> 0:17:45.960 We may have been in a fight when these texts 0:17:45.960 --> 0:17:48.120 were sent. I'm not one hundred percent sure, but maybe 0:17:48.200 --> 0:17:50.399 they could be the reason he was being mean. Should 0:17:50.440 --> 0:17:52.920 I forgive him? I still need to approach him about this, 0:17:53.119 --> 0:17:56.080 and don't know how he'll react. I mean, my assumption 0:17:56.960 --> 0:17:59.080 is that you'll bring it up to him and then 0:17:59.160 --> 0:18:01.600