1 00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:02,880 Speaker 1: Hi, this is Joel and Victoria. 2 00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:05,960 Speaker 2: Thanks for listening to our podcast and thanks for supporting 3 00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:08,880 Speaker 2: the ministry. If you enjoy today's message, why don't you 4 00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:11,080 Speaker 2: be a blessing and share it with a friend. We 5 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:14,520 Speaker 2: appreciate you and pray for God's very best in your life. 6 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:15,960 Speaker 1: God bless you. 7 00:00:16,239 --> 00:00:18,720 Speaker 2: It's great to be with you today, and I hope 8 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:21,279 Speaker 2: you stay connected with us during the week through our 9 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:25,440 Speaker 2: daily podcast, our YouTube channel, social media, and you can 10 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:28,040 Speaker 2: come visit us in person. We'd love to have you 11 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:30,520 Speaker 2: be a part of one of our services. And I'd 12 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:32,800 Speaker 2: like to start with something funny. I heard about these 13 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:35,920 Speaker 2: three sons that left home and went out and prospered. 14 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:38,960 Speaker 2: They got back together to talk about the gifts they'd 15 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:42,600 Speaker 2: gotten their elderly mother. The first son said, I built 16 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:45,760 Speaker 2: mom a big house. The second son said, I bought 17 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:49,200 Speaker 2: her a fancy car. The third one said, since mom 18 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:52,360 Speaker 2: loves to read the Bible but can barely see, I 19 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:55,400 Speaker 2: got her a specially trained parent that can quote the 20 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:56,240 Speaker 2: entire Bible. 21 00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:58,800 Speaker 1: A few weeks later, they received a letter. 22 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:01,120 Speaker 2: From their mother said, Milton, the house you built me 23 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 2: is way too big. Gerald, the car you got me 24 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:06,959 Speaker 2: is way too small. But my dearest Donald, your simple 25 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,400 Speaker 2: gift is my favorite. 26 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:12,520 Speaker 1: The chicken was delicious. You say it like you mean it. 27 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:15,720 Speaker 1: This is my Bible. I am what it says I am. 28 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:17,520 Speaker 1: I have what it says I have. 29 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,759 Speaker 2: I can do what it says I can do. Today 30 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:24,280 Speaker 2: I will be talked the word of God. I boldly confess. 31 00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:28,280 Speaker 2: My mind is alert, my heart is receptive. I will 32 00:01:28,319 --> 00:01:32,200 Speaker 2: never be the same. In Jesus' name, God bless you. 33 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:36,360 Speaker 2: I want to talk to you today about breaking control. 34 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:39,679 Speaker 2: It's easy to go through life doing things out of 35 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:40,880 Speaker 2: guilt and pressure. 36 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:44,240 Speaker 1: A relative will get upset if we don't show up 37 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:45,280 Speaker 1: every time they want. 38 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,880 Speaker 2: A friend expects us to meet every demand or they'll 39 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:53,560 Speaker 2: get their feelings hurt. People use control and manipulation to 40 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:56,720 Speaker 2: get their way, and it doesn't mean they're a bad person. 41 00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:58,920 Speaker 1: Sometimes they don't even know they're doing it. 42 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:02,600 Speaker 2: They expect us to perform and be there every time 43 00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:06,000 Speaker 2: they call. Put our life on hold and make sure 44 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:08,880 Speaker 2: that they're taken care of. If not, they get sour, 45 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:11,399 Speaker 2: try to make you feel guilty, why. 46 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:11,880 Speaker 1: Weren't you here? 47 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:15,640 Speaker 2: And if we're not careful, we'll take on this false 48 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:18,160 Speaker 2: sense of responsibility. 49 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:20,000 Speaker 1: Thinking that it's our job to keep them fixed. 50 00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:23,079 Speaker 2: We have to keep them happy, keep them in courage, 51 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:24,400 Speaker 2: keep them entertained. 52 00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:25,639 Speaker 1: But here's the key. 53 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:30,079 Speaker 2: You are not responsible for other people's happiness. You are 54 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:34,840 Speaker 2: responsible for your own happiness. Take that pressure off. Some 55 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:37,440 Speaker 2: people don't want to be happy. They won't deal with 56 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:41,359 Speaker 2: their issues, they won't forgive, they won't keep a good attitude. 57 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:45,040 Speaker 2: It's much easier for them to rely on you. If 58 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:48,600 Speaker 2: you continue giving in, you'll not only not have the 59 00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:52,840 Speaker 2: time and energy for your dreams, but you're enabling their dysfunction. 60 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:56,480 Speaker 1: As long as they have you, they don't have to change. 61 00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 1: You have to set some boundaries. 62 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:01,720 Speaker 2: You can be nice, you can be loving, but you 63 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:04,840 Speaker 2: have to be strong enough to say no. I can't 64 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:06,440 Speaker 2: come running every time you call. 65 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:07,320 Speaker 1: No. 66 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:09,760 Speaker 2: I'm not gonna let you dump all your problems on 67 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:11,680 Speaker 2: me and expect me to solve them. 68 00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:13,320 Speaker 1: Here's the biggest one. 69 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:16,240 Speaker 2: I'm not gonna feel guilty if I can't meet all 70 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:20,160 Speaker 2: your demands. Not gonna live down on myself because I. 71 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:22,160 Speaker 1: Can't perform up to your standards. 72 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:26,880 Speaker 2: Without healthy boundaries, we won't have healthy relationships. 73 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:30,120 Speaker 1: Well, Joel, what if they get their feelings hurt? What 74 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:31,480 Speaker 1: if you miss your destiny. 75 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:35,040 Speaker 2: What if they get upset and don't speak to me anymore? 76 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:36,640 Speaker 2: God just answered your prayer. 77 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:42,200 Speaker 1: Say thank you Jesus. Seriously, life is too short to go. 78 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:45,960 Speaker 2: Through it being controlled, doing things out of guilt, thinking 79 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,360 Speaker 2: if we don't, we'll fall out of their good grace. 80 00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:53,600 Speaker 2: That's not a friendship. That's manipulation. They're not interested in you, 81 00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 2: They're interested in what you can do for them. A 82 00:03:57,080 --> 00:04:00,600 Speaker 2: true friend doesn't get upset when you say no. They 83 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:03,440 Speaker 2: don't try to pressure you and make you feel guilty, so. 84 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:04,360 Speaker 1: You do what they want. 85 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:08,760 Speaker 2: When my father passed and I stept the minister, some 86 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:11,720 Speaker 2: of our pastor friends asked me to come speak for them. 87 00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:14,880 Speaker 2: I was just learning how to minister, who was taking 88 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:15,920 Speaker 2: all my time and. 89 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:17,680 Speaker 1: Energy to speak here on the weekends. 90 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:20,480 Speaker 2: Plus we had a three month old baby in I 91 00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:22,960 Speaker 2: told them that I was honored, but wasn't able to 92 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:23,599 Speaker 2: at the time. 93 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:26,919 Speaker 1: They all understood except this one man. 94 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,520 Speaker 2: He reminded me how he had supported my father, and 95 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:33,599 Speaker 2: how it had always been to our conferences, and how 96 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:34,680 Speaker 2: loyal he had been. 97 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:38,240 Speaker 1: Seems like I could make an exception all this pressure, 98 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:42,719 Speaker 1: this guilt. I felt bad about it for about twenty. 99 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:46,560 Speaker 2: Seconds but I also realized that wasn't a friend, that 100 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:47,520 Speaker 2: was a controller. 101 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:51,080 Speaker 1: He didn't care about me. He cared about how it could. 102 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:54,479 Speaker 2: Help him, And just as strong as he was to me, 103 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:58,200 Speaker 2: I was that strong going back to him. If you're 104 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:01,520 Speaker 2: being controlled, it's not the the other person's fault, it's 105 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:02,080 Speaker 2: your fault. 106 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:04,160 Speaker 1: You have to put your foot. 107 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,600 Speaker 2: Down and say I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna jump 108 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,320 Speaker 2: every time you call, not gonna be able to meet 109 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:10,679 Speaker 2: all of your demands. 110 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:13,400 Speaker 1: He got upset. He didn't understand. 111 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:17,320 Speaker 2: But instead of letting them make you unhappy, why don't 112 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:20,320 Speaker 2: you let them be unhappy If they can't. 113 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,120 Speaker 1: Handle it, that's not your problem. 114 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:26,159 Speaker 2: Don't take on that false sense of responsibility thinking you 115 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:30,800 Speaker 2: have to please everyone, rescue everyone, keep them encourage. You're 116 00:05:30,839 --> 00:05:34,599 Speaker 2: not their savior. We already have a savior. All that's 117 00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:37,400 Speaker 2: gonna do is wear you out. Take the pressure off. 118 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:42,240 Speaker 2: Be respectful, be nice, but be firm. Learn to say no, 119 00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:45,800 Speaker 2: I can't do that. Quit letting people call you all 120 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:48,640 Speaker 2: hours of the night and day and get your stirred 121 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:51,480 Speaker 2: up and expect you to solve all their problems. 122 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:55,560 Speaker 1: You have enough problems next time they call. That's why 123 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:56,920 Speaker 1: God created voicemail. 124 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:00,840 Speaker 2: If they can't get you a few times, maybe they'll 125 00:06:00,839 --> 00:06:04,279 Speaker 2: go to God, maybe they'll start dealing with issues, maybe 126 00:06:04,279 --> 00:06:07,760 Speaker 2: they'll recognize you're not the savior. But as long as 127 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:11,320 Speaker 2: you come running every time, you'll become a crutch. That's 128 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:15,839 Speaker 2: a codependent relationship. They'll go their whole life depending on you, 129 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:19,080 Speaker 2: and that's not only going to limit your potential, but 130 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:22,760 Speaker 2: it's keeping them from getting whole and stepping up to 131 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:25,799 Speaker 2: who they were created to be. Do them a favor 132 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:29,440 Speaker 2: and break free from that control. I talked to a 133 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:32,520 Speaker 2: lady that was raised in a very negative environment. 134 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:34,599 Speaker 1: From the time she was a little girl. 135 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:38,320 Speaker 2: Her mother was always blaming her for everything that went wrong. 136 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:41,919 Speaker 2: Anytime she'd have a bad day or some kind of setback, 137 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:45,200 Speaker 2: it was always this girl's fault. She grew up with 138 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:49,000 Speaker 2: this guilt and shame, feeling like she was responsible to 139 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:49,560 Speaker 2: keep her. 140 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:53,159 Speaker 1: Mother happy in fix her problems. And this mother was 141 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:56,880 Speaker 1: harsh and abusive. She had issues she hadn't dealt with. 142 00:06:57,760 --> 00:07:02,560 Speaker 2: When people are hurting, when they have bitterness, anger, and insecurity, 143 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:06,320 Speaker 2: often that pain comes out like poison on others. 144 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:10,120 Speaker 1: Doesn't have anything to do with you. Wasn't your fault? 145 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:13,360 Speaker 2: It's just pain they have bottled up that's being released. 146 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:17,040 Speaker 2: They haven't dealt with it properly. She would tell her 147 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:20,560 Speaker 2: daughter how she wasn't gonna amount to anything, and how 148 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,880 Speaker 2: unattractive she was, and how she was the reason they 149 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:25,240 Speaker 2: had so many problems. 150 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:29,960 Speaker 1: She used all this guilt, shame, and fear to control 151 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,440 Speaker 1: her daughter. Well now the daughter is. 152 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:36,360 Speaker 2: A grown woman in her forties, but nothing has changed. 153 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:40,200 Speaker 2: The mother still calls and beerates her, tells her about 154 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:43,440 Speaker 2: her problems, puts all these demands on her. You need 155 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:46,240 Speaker 2: to pay these bills, take me to the store, fix 156 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:47,520 Speaker 2: this problem at the house. 157 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:52,360 Speaker 1: Forty years later, this daughter is still being controlled. She 158 00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:55,840 Speaker 1: didn't know any better. She lived her whole life. 159 00:07:55,560 --> 00:08:00,560 Speaker 2: With this controlling spirit, feeling responsible to try to help her. 160 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:04,000 Speaker 1: But some people don't want to get help. They like 161 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:05,840 Speaker 1: the attention that it brings them. 162 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:09,640 Speaker 2: They'll use it to manipulate and make you feel guilty 163 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:10,960 Speaker 2: where they can control you. 164 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 1: Don't take that bait. 165 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:18,120 Speaker 2: Be respectful, but you're not responsible for their happiness. And 166 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:21,880 Speaker 2: this daughter was so distraught and so confused, she thought 167 00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:25,160 Speaker 2: maybe I am a bad person. She asked her husband, 168 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:28,600 Speaker 2: why did I cause all these problems? Was affecting her 169 00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:32,880 Speaker 2: mental health and her reasoning. The enemy loves to use 170 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:36,200 Speaker 2: all that guilt and shame to try to destroy your 171 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:39,720 Speaker 2: self worth and your sense of value, make you feel 172 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,800 Speaker 2: like you're the one to blame. Don't believe those lies. 173 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,680 Speaker 2: There is nothing wrong with you. You are made in 174 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:51,199 Speaker 2: the image of God. You are a masterpiece, healthy, whole, beautiful, talented, 175 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:55,240 Speaker 2: one of a kind. One day, this daughter heard what 176 00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:58,079 Speaker 2: we were talking about, how you're not supposed to live 177 00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:01,840 Speaker 2: controlled by people, and it's not your responsibility to keep 178 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:04,840 Speaker 2: everyone happy, and how you have to put up boundaries 179 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:07,640 Speaker 2: to keep yourself healthy and whome. 180 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:10,280 Speaker 1: She decided to make a change. 181 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:13,560 Speaker 2: She told her mother that she loved her, but that 182 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,400 Speaker 2: she couldn't meet all those demands. 183 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:17,600 Speaker 1: She was going to care for her, but. 184 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:19,760 Speaker 2: She wasn't going to be able to do all she 185 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:22,760 Speaker 2: had done in the past. The mother got upset and 186 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:26,199 Speaker 2: went off on her, told her what a terrible daughter 187 00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:29,640 Speaker 2: she was. Again, tried to guild her and shame her. 188 00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:32,959 Speaker 2: This time, the daughter let it go in one ear 189 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:36,520 Speaker 2: and out the other. She had spent years listening to 190 00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:39,640 Speaker 2: how bad she was, how it was her fault, how 191 00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:43,240 Speaker 2: she wasn't attractive. You have to come to that point 192 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:46,600 Speaker 2: where you say enough is enough. I am breaking free 193 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:48,760 Speaker 2: from this bondage, from these. 194 00:09:48,559 --> 00:09:50,320 Speaker 1: Lies, from this dysfunction. 195 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:54,200 Speaker 2: You are not supposed to be a doormat for people 196 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:56,559 Speaker 2: to walk all over control you. 197 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,800 Speaker 1: To mean you make you feel like you're not good enough. 198 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:04,960 Speaker 2: God didn't create you to be in a toxic relationship, berated, 199 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:10,480 Speaker 2: look down on, abused, manipulated. They may not change, they 200 00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:13,280 Speaker 2: like having you as their pond. You have to be 201 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:16,840 Speaker 2: the one to change. You have to rise up. That's 202 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:19,640 Speaker 2: why God has you hearing this today. It's a day 203 00:10:19,679 --> 00:10:23,600 Speaker 2: of freedom, a day of breakthrough, a day where those controlling, 204 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:28,800 Speaker 2: manipulating spirits are being broken. That door is open, but 205 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:31,560 Speaker 2: you have to walk out of it. That's what this 206 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:34,719 Speaker 2: daughter did. She told me how she felt all this 207 00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:38,800 Speaker 2: pressure lift off of her, all this heaviness. She said, 208 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:41,800 Speaker 2: I have not felt this kind of freedom, this kind 209 00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:45,800 Speaker 2: of peace my whole life. What's interesting is the mother 210 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:50,520 Speaker 2: is still the same angry, bitter, upset, blaming her daughter. 211 00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:54,760 Speaker 2: But this daughter is enjoying her life. Are you trying 212 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:57,400 Speaker 2: to keep someone happy that is never going to be happy. 213 00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:01,200 Speaker 2: You have this false sense of response ability that you 214 00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:04,320 Speaker 2: have to sacrifice your happiness in order to fix this 215 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,960 Speaker 2: other person, take that pressure off. 216 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:08,480 Speaker 1: That's not your job. 217 00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:12,480 Speaker 2: Your first priority is to take care of you, keep 218 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:17,160 Speaker 2: yourself healthy, whole and free. And this is especially hard 219 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:20,360 Speaker 2: when it's someone close to you, someone you love, a 220 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:21,800 Speaker 2: family member, a relative. 221 00:11:22,559 --> 00:11:25,360 Speaker 1: Always be kind, but you have to be strong. 222 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:28,640 Speaker 2: If this daughter had not made a change, she would 223 00:11:28,679 --> 00:11:34,040 Speaker 2: have gone another twenty years depressed, overwhelmed, guilty, feeling wrong 224 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:39,240 Speaker 2: on the inside, all because someone was putting unrealistic demands 225 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:42,559 Speaker 2: on her. And if you're going to break a controlling spirit, 226 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:45,720 Speaker 2: you're going to have to be determined because when you 227 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:49,640 Speaker 2: don't do what you've been doing, what they expect, they'll 228 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:53,679 Speaker 2: have a fit, get upset, try to shame you. Tell 229 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:55,760 Speaker 2: you all they've done for you, how could you not 230 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,000 Speaker 2: be there for them? 231 00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:58,400 Speaker 1: Don't buy into that. 232 00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:01,800 Speaker 2: You have a destiny to fore, God has given you 233 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:07,840 Speaker 2: an assignment. The enemy will use control, manipulation, guilt, shame, 234 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:09,720 Speaker 2: try to keep you from your purpose. 235 00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:11,960 Speaker 1: It's time to break free. 236 00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:14,360 Speaker 2: You have to put your foot down and say I 237 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,880 Speaker 2: love you, but I'm not gonna let you control me. 238 00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:20,640 Speaker 2: I love you, but I'm not going to sacrifice my 239 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:25,280 Speaker 2: happiness to try to keep you happy. That's not being selfish, 240 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:29,040 Speaker 2: that's being responsible with the gift God has given you. 241 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:32,800 Speaker 2: He didn't create you to be controlled. Yes, help others, 242 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,920 Speaker 2: of course. Be good to people, but don't let them 243 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:39,640 Speaker 2: control you. If they want to accept you, unless you 244 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:42,640 Speaker 2: perform up to their standards, meet all. 245 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:44,440 Speaker 1: Their expectations, no big deal. 246 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:47,520 Speaker 2: Move on and God will give you some real friends. 247 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:51,280 Speaker 2: That's not a friend, that's a manipulator. You don't need 248 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:54,720 Speaker 2: them for your destiny. The sooner you move forward, the 249 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:58,520 Speaker 2: better you'll be. Don't waste time trying to play up 250 00:12:58,559 --> 00:13:02,800 Speaker 2: to people over If you do good enough, they'll let 251 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:03,680 Speaker 2: you in their group. 252 00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:07,320 Speaker 1: They'll approve you. No, if they don't recognize the gift 253 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:10,800 Speaker 1: that you are, you need to go somewhere else. You 254 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:13,920 Speaker 1: don't have to convince people what you have to offer. 255 00:13:14,679 --> 00:13:18,080 Speaker 2: Work hard enough, hoping they'll like you, maybe they'll show 256 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:18,679 Speaker 2: you favor. 257 00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:20,880 Speaker 1: That's letting them control you. 258 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:24,880 Speaker 2: God has people He's already lined up for you that 259 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:28,760 Speaker 2: will celebrate you, approve you, think that you're awesome. 260 00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:32,480 Speaker 1: But until you get rid of the wrong people, you'll 261 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:33,640 Speaker 1: never meet the right people. 262 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:37,079 Speaker 2: Until you get rid of those jerks, I mean, those controllers, 263 00:13:37,559 --> 00:13:41,440 Speaker 2: you will never meet the divine connections. If you're being 264 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:46,360 Speaker 2: controlled and manipulated, that's taking your valuable time and energy. 265 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:49,760 Speaker 2: You need to do like this daughter, Recognize what's happening, 266 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:54,040 Speaker 2: make a change, break that controlling spirit. Don't go the 267 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:57,400 Speaker 2: next twenty years letting that take your joy, keep you 268 00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:00,240 Speaker 2: from the amazing future that God has for you you. 269 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:03,200 Speaker 2: This is what David had to do in the scripture. 270 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:05,360 Speaker 2: His brothers were jealous of him. 271 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:07,479 Speaker 1: They could sense the favor. 272 00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:09,920 Speaker 2: On his life, and when he took lunch out to 273 00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:12,400 Speaker 2: them when they were on the battlefield, one of his 274 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:16,040 Speaker 2: brothers belittled him, questioned his motives. 275 00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:18,600 Speaker 1: What are you doing out here, David? Just trying to 276 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:19,160 Speaker 1: show off? 277 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:22,320 Speaker 2: What have you done with those few sheep you're supposed 278 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:23,320 Speaker 2: to be taken care of. 279 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:27,120 Speaker 1: They were trying to keep David in their box. 280 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:31,960 Speaker 2: Make them into who they wanted him to be, small, insignificant, ordinary. 281 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,480 Speaker 2: David could have tried to play up to them, thought, 282 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:38,120 Speaker 2: I have to win them over, get them to like me, 283 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:42,840 Speaker 2: do whatever they want, meet all their demands. If he 284 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:46,200 Speaker 2: would have let them control him, then worried about what 285 00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:49,680 Speaker 2: they thought, will they accept me? Will I find their 286 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:54,000 Speaker 2: good grace? He would have never fulfilled his purpose. David 287 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:58,240 Speaker 2: had a boundary up. His attitude was, they don't dictate 288 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:01,960 Speaker 2: my self worth, don't need their approval to feel good. 289 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:02,720 Speaker 1: About who I am. 290 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:06,040 Speaker 2: I'm want to run my race, focus on my goals. 291 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:10,400 Speaker 2: Whether they like me or not does not determine my destiny. 292 00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:11,320 Speaker 1: He didn't come. 293 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:15,200 Speaker 2: Under that spirit of control and manipulation. He could have 294 00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:17,680 Speaker 2: felt guilty, I'm sure of thoughts were whispering. 295 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:20,760 Speaker 1: Come on, David, this is your family. You should do 296 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,680 Speaker 1: what they ask. You need to make sure they accept you. 297 00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:27,640 Speaker 2: But just because someone is kin to you doesn't mean 298 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:32,280 Speaker 2: they're connected to you. Sometimes people closest to you can't 299 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:34,920 Speaker 2: see what God put on your life. They want to 300 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:38,240 Speaker 2: accept the favor, the blessing. They'll get jealous, try to 301 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:41,360 Speaker 2: be little of you, leave you out. It's tempting to 302 00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,960 Speaker 2: want to prove to them who we are. Spend our 303 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,800 Speaker 2: time and energy trying to convince them to like us. 304 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,520 Speaker 2: If you fall into that trap, you'll end up being 305 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:53,600 Speaker 2: controlled and manipulated by what they want. 306 00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:57,760 Speaker 1: You have to do. Like David, be at peace with 307 00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:00,000 Speaker 1: who's not at peace with you. 308 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:03,880 Speaker 2: Be okay with who doesn't accept you if you needed 309 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,120 Speaker 2: them for your destiny. 310 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:06,520 Speaker 1: They would be for you. 311 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:10,560 Speaker 2: Take the high road, be kind, but don't spend your 312 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:14,600 Speaker 2: energy trying to convince them who you are. Years ago, 313 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,600 Speaker 2: there was this man I knew from school and we 314 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:20,440 Speaker 2: had the same group of friends, and anytime he had 315 00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:24,119 Speaker 2: a problem, something dealing with the relationship, he would. 316 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:26,720 Speaker 1: Look to me to correct it. Every couple of weeks 317 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:27,680 Speaker 1: I would get a text. 318 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:31,560 Speaker 2: It was always in an emergency. This has happened, it's 319 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:34,440 Speaker 2: not right. I'm upset, and you need to figure it out. 320 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:39,360 Speaker 2: And for some reason, I took this responsibility to become 321 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:44,920 Speaker 2: his personal problem solver. I'm nice, my personality is a peacemaker. 322 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:47,720 Speaker 2: I want to keep everyone happy. So I'd drop what 323 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:49,960 Speaker 2: I was doing and go to work. I got to 324 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:53,640 Speaker 2: fix this and straighten out this and convince this person. 325 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:56,760 Speaker 2: I'd get one thing solved, and a week later he 326 00:16:56,880 --> 00:17:00,560 Speaker 2: called back more upset. So and So said this, if 327 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:03,160 Speaker 2: this happens again, I'm gonna do this, and thought, oh man, 328 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:05,480 Speaker 2: this is bad. I got to get right on this. 329 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:09,040 Speaker 2: I lived on the edge, just waiting for the next text, 330 00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:12,639 Speaker 2: the next crisis. Get one thing worked out, but it 331 00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:15,840 Speaker 2: would never be enough. It was always something he was 332 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:19,000 Speaker 2: unhappy about when I would see his name come up 333 00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:21,920 Speaker 2: on my phone a text to call, my heart would 334 00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:23,320 Speaker 2: think I dreaded it. 335 00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:25,159 Speaker 1: This went on for two years. 336 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:30,320 Speaker 2: Be aware of how maintenance people high maintenance people are 337 00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:35,800 Speaker 2: almost always controllers, always having an emergency. They blow everything 338 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:39,000 Speaker 2: out of proportion, create all this drama. 339 00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,600 Speaker 1: If you don't have a boundary up, they'll pull you 340 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:43,280 Speaker 1: into that drama. 341 00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:47,040 Speaker 2: All that is is a distraction from your purpose. You're 342 00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:50,480 Speaker 2: carrying all this weight and pressure, trying to fix things 343 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:53,080 Speaker 2: that don't have anything to do with you, trying to 344 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:56,720 Speaker 2: pease someone that doesn't have your best interest at heart. 345 00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:58,040 Speaker 1: One day I. 346 00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:01,800 Speaker 2: Realized what I'm telling you, that that was a controlling spirit. 347 00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:05,080 Speaker 1: I was doing it out of guilt. I can't let 348 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:07,080 Speaker 1: him down. What will he think? 349 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:10,000 Speaker 2: He may get upset, he may not be my friend, 350 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:14,239 Speaker 2: all this pressure, trying to keep him happy, and at 351 00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:18,760 Speaker 2: the same time I wasn't happy. I was sacrificing my joy, 352 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:23,479 Speaker 2: my peace, my emotional well being to please him. I 353 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:26,440 Speaker 2: did what I'm asking you to do. The next time 354 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:29,919 Speaker 2: he called, I was respectful, but I said, I'm so sorry, 355 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:31,760 Speaker 2: but I can't help you this time. 356 00:18:32,359 --> 00:18:33,440 Speaker 1: My plate is full. 357 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:36,480 Speaker 2: I have commitments, you're gonna have to work this out. 358 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:39,920 Speaker 2: You would have thought I took his wife and children. 359 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:44,280 Speaker 2: He got upset, angry, told me how I wasn't a 360 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:47,320 Speaker 2: friend and how could I let him down. The funny 361 00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:49,480 Speaker 2: thing is that didn't bother me at all. 362 00:18:50,119 --> 00:18:53,639 Speaker 1: I thought i'd feel bad, wrong, be so hard, but 363 00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:57,119 Speaker 1: it was just the opposite. I felt peace, I felt joy, 364 00:18:57,359 --> 00:18:58,280 Speaker 1: I felt relieved. 365 00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:00,320 Speaker 2: I hung up the phone, went and play maid with 366 00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:04,120 Speaker 2: my children, laugh with Victoria, had fun time with my family. 367 00:19:05,119 --> 00:19:08,520 Speaker 2: Instead of me being unhappy, I decided to let him 368 00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:12,320 Speaker 2: be unhappy. Maybe it's time for you to be happy 369 00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:15,320 Speaker 2: and let that other person be unhappy. 370 00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:17,440 Speaker 1: You cannot keep everyone fixed. 371 00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:22,080 Speaker 2: Don't be guilted into that false sense of responsibility. 372 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:24,600 Speaker 1: I'm not saying to not help others. 373 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:28,960 Speaker 2: Be kind, be giving, but don't live under a controlling spirit. 374 00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:33,200 Speaker 2: People will take as much as you allow. He tried 375 00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:35,720 Speaker 2: to guilt me, shame me, not loryal, not a friend. 376 00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:39,080 Speaker 2: I knew the only way to break that controlling spirit 377 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:42,560 Speaker 2: was to be strong. I quit responding to his text. 378 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:45,800 Speaker 2: I didn't answer the phone. For me to do that, 379 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:48,800 Speaker 2: that was a miracle, But if I had not done it, 380 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:49,560 Speaker 2: I'd still be. 381 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:50,240 Speaker 1: Dealing with it. 382 00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:54,240 Speaker 2: There are controlling spirits that want to keep you from 383 00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:58,000 Speaker 2: your purpose to where you waste your valuable time on 384 00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:01,040 Speaker 2: things that are not a part of your destiny, trying 385 00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:05,320 Speaker 2: to keep someone happy, letting, guilt and manipulation keep you 386 00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:06,600 Speaker 2: where you're not supposed to be. 387 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,480 Speaker 1: Why don't you break free those things that you don't 388 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:13,480 Speaker 1: feel good about? Ask yourself, why are you doing it? 389 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:14,199 Speaker 1: Is it guilt? 390 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,199 Speaker 2: What are they going to think? They expect me to 391 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:20,120 Speaker 2: do it? I hope to win their favor. Those are 392 00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:25,480 Speaker 2: all signs of control and manipulation. Genesis chapter twelve. God 393 00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:29,399 Speaker 2: told Abraham to leave his relatives, leave his father's house, 394 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:31,639 Speaker 2: and go to a land that he would show him. 395 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,000 Speaker 2: God promised he would bless him in a great way. 396 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:38,399 Speaker 2: Abraham left. He was being obedient, but he took his 397 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:41,720 Speaker 2: nephew Lot in all of his family and his herds. 398 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,120 Speaker 2: God just specifically told him to leave his relatives. 399 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:49,439 Speaker 1: I can imagine Abraham thought, I can't lead Lot. He 400 00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:52,040 Speaker 1: may get his feelings hurt, he may not understand. 401 00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:56,920 Speaker 2: He felt responsible to keep Lot happy, take care of 402 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,400 Speaker 2: his family, make sure. 403 00:20:58,200 --> 00:20:58,919 Speaker 1: They were okay. 404 00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:03,440 Speaker 2: Had good intentions, but it wasn't what God called him 405 00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:08,280 Speaker 2: to do. Sometimes, like Abraham, we're doing things because we're 406 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:09,000 Speaker 2: good hearted. 407 00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:11,280 Speaker 1: We want to help this relative. 408 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:13,680 Speaker 2: We need to put our dream on hold to take 409 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:17,920 Speaker 2: care of this friend, this coworker struggling. So we sacrifice 410 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:21,320 Speaker 2: our goals to be good to someone else. But your 411 00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:25,760 Speaker 2: dream has an expiration day. Your assignment isn't going to 412 00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:29,840 Speaker 2: last forever. There are windows of opportunities that God presents 413 00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:30,320 Speaker 2: us with. 414 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,280 Speaker 1: It is not selfish to run your race. 415 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:38,159 Speaker 2: You can't help everyone. You can't fix every problem. You 416 00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:41,960 Speaker 2: can't keep all your family and friends happy. We should 417 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,639 Speaker 2: always be good to people, but you have to know 418 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:49,720 Speaker 2: your assignment so you don't get distracted taking responsibility for 419 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:54,199 Speaker 2: something that you're not responsible for. Abraham and Law arrived 420 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:55,200 Speaker 2: at their new property. 421 00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:58,120 Speaker 1: It was beautiful. They were excited. 422 00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:02,120 Speaker 2: The problem was with all their flocks and all their herds, 423 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:06,160 Speaker 2: the land wasn't big enough to sustain them. Both their 424 00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:10,440 Speaker 2: shepherds started arguing. There were strife and contention. This big 425 00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:14,679 Speaker 2: mess could have all been avoided if Abraham would have 426 00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:18,320 Speaker 2: left who God told him to leave. When we hang 427 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:21,320 Speaker 2: on to things that God tells us to leave, it 428 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:25,960 Speaker 2: always causes problems, and sometimes we won't walk away from 429 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:28,400 Speaker 2: a relationship, even though we know it's not. 430 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:29,480 Speaker 1: Good for us. 431 00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:32,919 Speaker 2: We know we're being controlled, We know they're not treating 432 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:36,040 Speaker 2: us with respect, they don't value who we are, but 433 00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:40,080 Speaker 2: we keep thinking we'll change their mind. The longer you stay, 434 00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:43,480 Speaker 2: the more difficult it's going to be, the more struggle, 435 00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:44,560 Speaker 2: the more frustration. 436 00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:46,760 Speaker 1: When we hang on the Lot. 437 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:50,760 Speaker 2: The problem is there's no blessing on what God told 438 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:54,120 Speaker 2: us to leave. There's no grace on what we were 439 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:55,919 Speaker 2: supposed to walk away from. 440 00:22:56,359 --> 00:22:57,360 Speaker 1: And one reason we. 441 00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:59,440 Speaker 2: Don't want to leave Lot is we think we won't 442 00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:03,240 Speaker 2: have any for will be lonely, will never meet anyone. 443 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,680 Speaker 2: You may be lonely for a season, but God will 444 00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:10,399 Speaker 2: bring you new friends, better friends, friends that push you 445 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:13,080 Speaker 2: off and not pull you down, Friends that bring out 446 00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:16,320 Speaker 2: the best and cause you to blossom, not people that 447 00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:19,960 Speaker 2: hinder you and cause you to shrink back. Is God 448 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:23,120 Speaker 2: asking you to leave Lot, but you keep making excuses 449 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:26,840 Speaker 2: taking him with you. Lot may be the people at 450 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:30,320 Speaker 2: work that sit around at lunch and gossip talk bad 451 00:23:30,359 --> 00:23:31,200 Speaker 2: about the company. 452 00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:33,240 Speaker 1: Why don't you eat somewhere else? 453 00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:36,639 Speaker 2: You can't reach your destiny hanging around people like that. 454 00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:40,679 Speaker 2: Lot may be that friend that causes you to compromise, 455 00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:44,159 Speaker 2: that neighbor that brings out the worst in you, that 456 00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:48,120 Speaker 2: cousin that's not going anywhere. You need people in your 457 00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:51,760 Speaker 2: life that inspire you, people that cause you to dream bigger, 458 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:55,560 Speaker 2: people that honor God, that love their family, that treat 459 00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:59,440 Speaker 2: their spouse with respect, people that are going places, making 460 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:04,080 Speaker 2: a difference, setting new standards. If you want separate yourself 461 00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:08,000 Speaker 2: from unhealthy relationships, from people you know are not good 462 00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,080 Speaker 2: for you, that's where you'll get stuck. 463 00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:14,320 Speaker 1: God has something better. The problem is you still have Lot. 464 00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,760 Speaker 2: That's where there's conflict, struggle, mediocrity. 465 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:20,480 Speaker 1: Do yourself a favor, Get rid of Lot. 466 00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:24,640 Speaker 2: There's a calling on your life, an assignment that only 467 00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:29,679 Speaker 2: you can accomplish. You cannot reach it with critical, jealous, bitter, 468 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:34,320 Speaker 2: controlling people. Could it be that you are one friendship 469 00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:36,200 Speaker 2: away from going to a new level. 470 00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:37,480 Speaker 1: If you'll just. 471 00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:41,399 Speaker 2: Get rid of Lot, you'll see new doors open, greater favor, 472 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:46,399 Speaker 2: relationships better than you've ever imagined. Because the land couldn't 473 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:50,640 Speaker 2: sustain them both, they had to separate. Abraham didn't leave 474 00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:54,119 Speaker 2: Lot when God first told him to, but God always 475 00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:57,920 Speaker 2: gets his way. Sooner or later, Lot is going to go. 476 00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:01,240 Speaker 2: They went their separate ways. Lot and all of his 477 00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:06,040 Speaker 2: family got captured by bandits. More trouble, Abraham had to 478 00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:09,280 Speaker 2: go rescue Loton. He spent all this time and energy 479 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:12,440 Speaker 2: fighting battles he would have never had to fight if 480 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:16,040 Speaker 2: he had just left Lot in the first place. Paul 481 00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:19,280 Speaker 2: said in One Corinthians nine, I am free in every 482 00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:21,440 Speaker 2: way from anyone's control. 483 00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:24,800 Speaker 1: That's my prayer for you, that you're not going. 484 00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:28,920 Speaker 2: To live controlled by people, manipulated into doing things out 485 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:33,040 Speaker 2: of guilt, thinking you're responsible to keep everyone happy, but 486 00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:36,440 Speaker 2: that you will live your life free. Now do your 487 00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:41,439 Speaker 2: part and put some boundaries up. Quit acquiescing to everyone's demands, 488 00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:45,040 Speaker 2: thinking you may hurt their feelings. Remember, if someone is 489 00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:47,440 Speaker 2: controlling you, it's not their fault. 490 00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:49,800 Speaker 1: It's yours. You have to take action. 491 00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:55,040 Speaker 2: Don't go the next twenty years weighed down in unhealthy relationships, 492 00:25:55,359 --> 00:25:59,359 Speaker 2: toxic relationships, giving into unrealistic demands. 493 00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:01,240 Speaker 1: It's time to break free. 494 00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:05,000 Speaker 2: Today can be a turning point. You have a destiny 495 00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:08,040 Speaker 2: to fulfill. God is counting on you to take your 496 00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:08,840 Speaker 2: family to. 497 00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:09,399 Speaker 1: A new level. 498 00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:12,280 Speaker 2: Get focused, get free, and get ready. 499 00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:14,880 Speaker 1: If you'll do this, I believe and. 500 00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:19,880 Speaker 2: Declare that spirit of control and manipulation is being broken. 501 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:21,800 Speaker 1: Right now, You're going to have. 502 00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:25,440 Speaker 2: A new grace, a new boldness, say step up. 503 00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:26,720 Speaker 1: To who you were created to be. 504 00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:32,760 Speaker 2: Greater favor is coming, new relationships, new opportunities, the fullness 505 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:36,960 Speaker 2: of your destiny in Jesus' name, and if you receive it. 506 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:37,959 Speaker 1: Can you say amen? 507 00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:42,360 Speaker 2: I'd like to give you an opportunity to make Jesus 508 00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:43,439 Speaker 2: the Lord of your life. 509 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:47,440 Speaker 1: Would you pray with me? Just say, Lord, Jesus. 510 00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:51,480 Speaker 2: I repent of my sins, Come into my heart. I 511 00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:54,800 Speaker 2: make you my Lord and savior. If you prayed that 512 00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:58,280 Speaker 2: simple prayer, we believe you got born again. We'd love 513 00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:00,440 Speaker 2: to send you some information on your when you walk 514 00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:02,679 Speaker 2: with the Lord. You can text the number on the 515 00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:05,440 Speaker 2: screen or go to the website. But I hope you'll 516 00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:08,760 Speaker 2: get into a good Bible based church and keep God 517 00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:09,760 Speaker 2: first place. 518 00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:13,040 Speaker 1: Thanks so much for listening to today's message. 519 00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:15,960 Speaker 2: I hope you'll subscribe so you can receive the latest 520 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:19,480 Speaker 2: podcast to keep you encouraged and inspired all through the week. 521 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:21,840 Speaker 2: Help us to continue to share the message of hope 522 00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:23,359 Speaker 2: with those all around the world. 523 00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:26,439 Speaker 1: Visit Joelosting dot com or click the link in the 524 00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:28,639 Speaker 1: description to partner with us today. 525 00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:31,320 Speaker 2: We hope you'll share this message with a friend and 526 00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:33,399 Speaker 2: be sure to follow us on social media. 527 00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:36,959 Speaker 1: We're praying for you. I know God's best is still ahead. 528 00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:38,240 Speaker 1: We'll see you next time.