Speaker 1: Start uf dot up, start up, Brooklyn Boys, start up,
Speaker 1: Brooklyn Boys start data. They're making noise data Episode one
Speaker 1: oh five, The Brooklyn Boys Podcast. Nope, nope, nope, you
Speaker 1: just took us back in time two years, Episode two
Speaker 1: oh five, The Brooklyn Boy Spot. You know what's you
Speaker 1: know what's funny? Scary says to me, like thirty seconds ago,
Speaker 1: episode two or five. I said, yep, two or five,
Speaker 1: goes all right, The Brooklyn Boys Episode five. Is this
Speaker 1: what it is? Is? This is this what it's come
Speaker 1: to that I'm really losing it. I'm really losing it.
Speaker 1: I think we all are slowly speaking of losing your age,
Speaker 1: get to a certain age exactly, speaking of you know
Speaker 1: what tomorrow is, Uh, it's my wife's birthday. But other
Speaker 1: than that, you to be like super Bowl weekend, today
Speaker 1: was ground something else. The second February sewond so February
Speaker 1: second is also, uh the second last night was the
Speaker 1: anniversary of Late Night, Well, actually that was second. It
Speaker 1: was February second, well and then a Late Night with
Speaker 1: Jimmy Fallon in the Late Night with Seth Meyers. So
Speaker 1: let Himan was on st. Meyers right right, right, that's
Speaker 1: all great, that's awesome. That's every second, every third, though,
Speaker 1: aside from your wife's birthday. Come on say it. I
Speaker 1: don't asshole, it's my birthday. Oh oh oh right, yes,
Speaker 1: well listen, you can't you it's listen. It's okay to
Speaker 1: forget your okay, you know why because you forgot my birthday.
Speaker 1: My birthday was Sunday, January and everyone in the Morning
Speaker 1: Show except for two people, uh texted me Happy birthday,
Speaker 1: hit me up, hit me up on Twitter, on Instagram,
Speaker 1: I got you. I hit you, and I was like,
Speaker 1: where the hell is scamp people? Everybody? You guys know
Speaker 1: you guys know. Slices like, oh is he taking up
Speaker 1: a steak dinner? What is scary getting you for your birthday?
Speaker 1: And I said nothing, he hasn't he wished me happy birthday.
Speaker 1: A second, why do the slices never ask what you're
Speaker 1: doing for my birthday? Why is it because my birthday
Speaker 1: comes first? Because my birthday comes first by four days,
Speaker 1: much like my with my wife. Person asking what you're
Speaker 1: doing for me for my birthday? Because they anything because
Speaker 1: they wait to see if you do anything for me,
Speaker 1: and you and you didn't, right, And then so eleven
Speaker 1: thirty two on Sunday night, I get a text message
Speaker 1: from you and, uh, let me see if if I
Speaker 1: get I pull it up. I want to make sure
Speaker 1: or something like that. Keep in mind, I was gonna
Speaker 1: do it at eleven thirty two in the morning. I
Speaker 1: had my reminder set, but the day the day got away, Brody,
Speaker 1: I just can't you know, sometimes there are other things
Speaker 1: that are priorities, and oh, other things that are about
Speaker 1: my family. Oh your family, yeah, because parents with speaking
Speaker 1: of them, I got, oh my god, they are something else.
Speaker 1: Something happened with them this week that I just it's
Speaker 1: it's a very well you'll you'll tell me about that. Okay.
Speaker 1: So here's what I so. I'm hinted with you all day.
Speaker 1: I said, oh, do you have that email about the
Speaker 1: movie screening thing? Uh? And you said uh, you said yeah.
Speaker 1: I said great. I said, are you going to forward
Speaker 1: the email? I'd like to see what it looks like
Speaker 1: so I can see if I got it or not. Thanks,
Speaker 1: and you said I sent it. I great. So I
Speaker 1: said thanks, what are you up to? Trying to get
Speaker 1: you to ask me what I'm up to? And you said,
Speaker 1: I'm watching the Nets game about to step out for
Speaker 1: a few So you were going out. You're going out
Speaker 1: on Sunday night, right, yes, all right, okay, my birthday.
Speaker 1: So I wrote, oh your sports nice, have fun, and
Speaker 1: then hours later that was your hint. Hint. I was
Speaker 1: trying to like, you know, hey, man, uh you know,
Speaker 1: what are you doing? What's going on in your world?
Speaker 1: And you're like, I'm watching the Nets game, which, by
Speaker 1: the way, sports, you're watching a basketball game on on
Speaker 1: a Sunday. I mean it's the Nets and the Warriors
Speaker 1: we're playing. Yeah, you're big, big basketball fan. I mean,
Speaker 1: Stephen carry with the shot, let's do okay. So so yeah, god,
Speaker 1: you're reading what are you reading? Like what to say
Speaker 1: about sports website? No, So then you wrote I know
Speaker 1: it's a little late in the day, but I wanted
Speaker 1: to wish you a happy birthday. I set her reminded
Speaker 1: for myself this morning and somehow bypassed it. So you've
Speaker 1: got a reminder and ignored your peep into the game.
Speaker 1: Kyrie Irving was on the court for the It was
Speaker 1: on the court. What although Harden was out, Herden was out,
Speaker 1: and then obviously Kevin Durant is still injured. I want
Speaker 1: to see those big three the Big three play. If
Speaker 1: the Big three could be on the court at the
Speaker 1: same time. Brooklyn Nets, Brooklyn Nets are going to take
Speaker 1: the NBA Finals, but they gotta get it together. I'm
Speaker 1: so it's so disjointed. It's like a fucking jigsaw puzzle
Speaker 1: over there. Right. Well, I'm gonna see what's on what
Speaker 1: sport related thing I can watch when it's your birthday tomorrow,
Speaker 1: so I can wait until, like you know, eleven thirty
Speaker 1: two to go. Oh, I set her moms still counts,
Speaker 1: it's still with its still he is the thing we've
Speaker 1: talked about. Please not over at midnight. It turns the
Speaker 1: four you're wishing me at that point, you're wishing me
Speaker 1: happy twenty nine minutes. That's basically what you did. Happy
Speaker 1: the next twenty nine minutes of your life, that's what
Speaker 1: you did, because you know you're not saying, hey, congratulate,
Speaker 1: happy happy week. You're like, happy birthday. My birthday is
Speaker 1: over except for twenty nine minutes. So I got twenty
Speaker 1: nine minutes out of you for my twenty file birthday.
Speaker 1: That's what I got every year. Some years you go
Speaker 1: all brody. I forgot. I'm so sorry. Last she said,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna set a reminder. I said, how do you forget?
Speaker 1: My birthday is four days before yours? Every time you
Speaker 1: know your birthday is coming, right, you don't wait till
Speaker 1: four days before you know a week in advance your
Speaker 1: birthday's coming. That's true. Right, you have a you have
Speaker 1: an iPhone and it's not an android. You have an iPhone.
Speaker 1: You can put a reminder, and every year you forget
Speaker 1: that it's my birthday. So last year, I said, dude,
Speaker 1: it's ridiculous. Now we know each other over twenty years,
Speaker 1: put rewind on my phone. I'm gonna put a reminder
Speaker 1: my phone. Well you did. My question is, but why
Speaker 1: is it so important to you? Why? Because important? If
Speaker 1: you forgot my birthday, I wouldn't be upset if you
Speaker 1: can outthay And that's that's worth Another thing works, that's
Speaker 1: more offensive. I don't even want to do anything for
Speaker 1: my birthday tomorrow? Do you know that Robert? Robert wants
Speaker 1: to take me out for a steak dinner tomorrow, motherfucker.
Speaker 1: And she was like, let's go out to dinner. But
Speaker 1: you know I'm doing my January detox and I'm down
Speaker 1: twenty three pounds every cheat. Well, it's February. It's a
Speaker 1: forty four day thing. And just know that for you know, today,
Speaker 1: tomorrow's day, thirty three is my birthday. On the thirty three,
Speaker 1: I still have another eleven, you know, eleven more days
Speaker 1: to go. Every cheat is every cheat is a setback.
Speaker 1: So I need to keep losing losing, losing weight and
Speaker 1: lose it here well you know, but but you know,
Speaker 1: if you think about it, I don't want to sunk
Speaker 1: that up. So now we're trying to figure out are
Speaker 1: we gonna meet tomorrow for my birthday. I may not
Speaker 1: do anything, and maybe I may be the only person
Speaker 1: on earth that doesn't give a fuck about my own birthday.
Speaker 1: I don't care. You know, everyone's like, everyone's like you.
Speaker 1: You don't celebrate yourself when why don't you? You know,
Speaker 1: you don't allow you don't love it when people call Yeah,
Speaker 1: I appreciate it. I'm thankful. I'm grateful, but it's not
Speaker 1: the be all end all if you don't wish me
Speaker 1: a happy birthday, or if you don't take me out
Speaker 1: for a drink. My friends have this big thing like,
Speaker 1: let's go to a bar. Come on your birthday, Come on, man,
Speaker 1: we gotta buy around, let's do and wow, that's nice
Speaker 1: and it's comforting, and that's cool that I have a
Speaker 1: support staff like that. It's not entirely my Okay, I
Speaker 1: get I don't have to I don't have to do that.
Speaker 1: I'm happiness. Let me ask you a question. You at
Speaker 1: Robin a long time Yes, a fantastic woman. Uh if
Speaker 1: she you forgot her birthday? And if she and she said,
Speaker 1: I can't believe scary you forgot my birthday? What would
Speaker 1: how would it go? If you said to her, Robin, baby,
Speaker 1: I don't care about my birthday. My friends want to
Speaker 1: take me out. Brody forgot my birthday. Didn't matter to me,
Speaker 1: It's not a big deal. I don't care, so you shouldn't.
Speaker 1: How would that work for you if she forgot my birthday?
Speaker 1: If if you blew off her birthday or didn't make
Speaker 1: a big deal because it doesn't matter to you. If
Speaker 1: you said, rob, but I didn't get your gift because
Speaker 1: I don't want a gift, how would that work? That
Speaker 1: wouldn't go over? So why should it go over with me?
Speaker 1: Because you don't like something? Is that is that my fault?
Speaker 1: Is that? Is that a reason why I shouldn't be upset. Listen,
Speaker 1: I spent a good part of my day Sunday because
Speaker 1: they deserve it. I I wrote back or liked every
Speaker 1: Instagram post, every d M, every tweet, every Facebook post
Speaker 1: from my family, and by the way, I will do
Speaker 1: the same. I will. I. I will get to everybody,
Speaker 1: and I appreciate anything that comes in. And I'm not
Speaker 1: I'm not the blanket thank you guy. You know, sometimes
Speaker 1: if someone throws up a post like everyone me a
Speaker 1: happy birthday, thank you, I try and get back to everyone.
Speaker 1: I'm like you, except I'm more Instagram and you're more Twitter.
Speaker 1: So that's fine. I'm both. I got more d ms
Speaker 1: on on instant and I got tweets absolutely on Instagram.
Speaker 1: Because Ali from our social media team at the other
Speaker 1: strad Morning Show put up a picture of me on
Speaker 1: the Elvis Rand Show account, which, by the way, I
Speaker 1: did not approve, not one of my favorite pictures. I
Speaker 1: had plenty of pictures. She chose one on her own. Fine.
Speaker 1: I appreciate the effort and she put up and she
Speaker 1: put a nice frame around it. Happy Birthday to David Brodie.
Speaker 1: A couple of things which I already talked to her about,
Speaker 1: which I think could be improved. Tell me if I'm
Speaker 1: wrong on this one. She didn't put a date. She
Speaker 1: just said it's David Brody's birthday. So for days now
Speaker 1: people are still wishing me a happy birthday because they
Speaker 1: don't know what day. That posts one up. They is
Speaker 1: the first time they saw it, and it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: it is David Brodie's birthday today. So I went and
Speaker 1: changed that. I put in Sunday, January January like, so
Speaker 1: they know the day of the week and the date
Speaker 1: and it's not my birthday anymore. Now, listen, I don't
Speaker 1: mind belated birthday wishes. It's just if I'm gonna make
Speaker 1: it a point to get back to everybody at some
Speaker 1: point I'm like, okay, it's like February three, Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: The other thing is she wrote wish David Brodie happy birthday,
Speaker 1: but she didn't write wish at David Brodie happy birthday. Now,
Speaker 1: if you say wish at David Brodie happy birthday, two
Speaker 1: things happened. Number One, people will write at David Brody
Speaker 1: and you'll get an alert so you don't miss it,
Speaker 1: and you'll go, you know, you'll comment, which is very helpful.
Speaker 1: The other thing is you get more followers. People are going,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I don't follow Brody. I should because
Speaker 1: it's funny, right, nice guys trying to help out the world. Debatable.
Speaker 1: So when I changed it on Instagram, I changed it
Speaker 1: to wish at David Brody happy birthday, tag him, everybody
Speaker 1: was started tagging me because it's not second nature to
Speaker 1: every one, So people would just write happy birthday Brody.
Speaker 1: But if it's not my post, I wouldn't necessarily see it.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't get an alert. So but so you find them, well,
Speaker 1: I went I went looking. Yeah, I went looking because
Speaker 1: I wanted because people wrote nice things. People are like
Speaker 1: heavy burthday Broody. I was like, let's there, I'll get there.
Speaker 1: The people some really nice things and I don't want
Speaker 1: to I don't want to miss that. I don't do
Speaker 1: to think. Well, I wrote Brody like blah blah blah
Speaker 1: about his phone taps, and you're because you're not you're
Speaker 1: not heard from as much. So well, it is scary.
Speaker 1: Jones didn't take me out for a steak dinner, so
Speaker 1: I had plenty of time bother A lot of people
Speaker 1: on Twitter like, know where's Brody steak dinner? The official
Speaker 1: Brody Steak Dinner update. The Twitter account was asking about that.
Speaker 1: It was like, oh yeah, by getting steak dinner? What's
Speaker 1: up with that? You know? What's up with that? What's
Speaker 1: up with that? What's up with that? Can I tell you?
Speaker 1: Jason szadekis. I love that what's up with that? Bit?
Speaker 1: And I loved when he was back on the show
Speaker 1: a few weeks ago. I want to learn all of
Speaker 1: those dances. I think he's the running Man and the
Speaker 1: peg leg it's just right, it's the I think it's
Speaker 1: the running Man. But all of his like they look
Speaker 1: very simple. He does like two or three with the
Speaker 1: gold chains and the tracks does it for me of
Speaker 1: the gold chain, but he does like the pumpkin cabbage patches.
Speaker 1: He's the running Man. They all look very simple. But
Speaker 1: I want to do all of them. I can't do
Speaker 1: any of them. I just want to say, very if
Speaker 1: you learned that for that sketch, or if he just
Speaker 1: has it knew it growing up. I think he's one
Speaker 1: of those well growing up though some of those moves
Speaker 1: aren't at all. But I think he's one of those
Speaker 1: guys that just like sees a move and goes o't
Speaker 1: do that well, like learns it quickly. I've watched I
Speaker 1: don't know if you've done this. I watch like dancer
Speaker 1: tuts on Instagram when they do like step by step
Speaker 1: and they go left right, left up right leg rift
Speaker 1: up left leg, like how to shuffle all those I
Speaker 1: watched it in slow motion. I acted out, can't do it? Oh,
Speaker 1: I can't do it though. Oh by the way, coming up.
Speaker 1: I have a very Brooklyn story and which you'll probably
Speaker 1: be relating to. Okay, So I was visiting my parents
Speaker 1: in Brooklyn just yesterday, okay, And of course we had
Speaker 1: that fairly decent snow storm which left a lot of
Speaker 1: snow and slush and ice. That was back over the weekend, right,
Speaker 1: so it was like the remnants of that. So goes
Speaker 1: out of my parents and just you know, checking on them,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, hey, Ma, what where's daddy? And she goes, oh,
Speaker 1: he's in the garage fixing his shoe. I said, what,
Speaker 1: By the way, just a note, just point out you
Speaker 1: always call you that your father daddy to your mom always.
Speaker 1: I don't call my dad daddy to him. We know
Speaker 1: that we've this is we've talked about this on several
Speaker 1: you us. You usually when you tell stories, you ask
Speaker 1: your dad where mommy is. I don't remember the last
Speaker 1: time you asked your mom where daddy was? Where's daddy?
Speaker 1: I just walked in the house. You know, where's daddy? Oh,
Speaker 1: he's in he's in the garage, like fixing his shoes.
Speaker 1: What let me go down there and see what's up.
Speaker 1: So I went to go down and say hello to
Speaker 1: my father and hey, man, hey dad Dad. I don't
Speaker 1: call him daddy to his face, right, I talked about
Speaker 1: I say daddy when it's to other people about him.
Speaker 1: Does he have a hear you? Like if he's in
Speaker 1: the next room and you're like, Mommy, wis daddy? Mom
Speaker 1: whiz Daddy? Does he go Jesus? No. I would never
Speaker 1: say it in his presence. No, but he could be
Speaker 1: in the next like around the corner. He don't. You
Speaker 1: don't see not. But you know he's heard it. He's
Speaker 1: had to have heard it. And if he has, then
Speaker 1: you know maybe he's fine with it. He might be
Speaker 1: thinking it's awkward, so he maybe it makes him feel you.
Speaker 1: He's sitting there, he's taking a hammer to his the
Speaker 1: soul of his shoe. I'm like, are you like a
Speaker 1: shoemaker or something like, what what do you call it?
Speaker 1: A cobble, A cobbler, A cobbler, A cobbler, your a cobbler.
Speaker 1: What are you doing? It was, Oh, this freaking soul,
Speaker 1: the freak and soul came off my shoe. I'm trying
Speaker 1: a super glue it back, I said, Dad. I said you,
Speaker 1: First of all, you've had this pair of shoes for
Speaker 1: about fifteen years now, I think I was still living
Speaker 1: in the house. I'm like, you, you have shoes, you
Speaker 1: have sneakers, you have plenty, Just part with it. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I can't because I gottaware the rubb butt and see
Speaker 1: the rubber came off the thing, so that he's trying
Speaker 1: to literally superglue the rubber back on the shoes. So
Speaker 1: then he's putting the shoe on the floor and he's
Speaker 1: pounding into the shoe fromt with his fist to make
Speaker 1: it stick. I said, well, first of all, how did
Speaker 1: this happen? He goes, oh, he was. I was running
Speaker 1: after the garbage truck and I slipped on a patch
Speaker 1: of black ice and I fell. I'm like, what I said,
Speaker 1: are you okay? Because yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.
Speaker 1: I'm like, why are you chasing the garbage truck down
Speaker 1: the street? It was because they didn't take the freaking
Speaker 1: but I forgot to put the freaking boxes out. But
Speaker 1: my father, you know, he has to break up all
Speaker 1: the boxes that the cardboard boxes, and he forgot to
Speaker 1: put him out. So apparently he saw the garbage the
Speaker 1: garbage truck. Comedy goes, ohly, sh it, I forgot to
Speaker 1: put out the fucking the boxes. So he goes downstairs
Speaker 1: and he tries to read. You know, he's with the
Speaker 1: boxes in hand, misses the garbage truck. The carbage just
Speaker 1: doesn't see him's running the middle of the street and
Speaker 1: then he slips and he fell falls. Is he yelling
Speaker 1: at garbage guy? I don't know what he was saying.
Speaker 1: I wasn't there for that. And then and so that's
Speaker 1: two things. Now, hey, you're trying to put like and
Speaker 1: forgive me if you have tattered shoes that you've tried
Speaker 1: to put together. I'm just telling these sees have had
Speaker 1: it and there's no way. And he's super bluing them back. Okay, great,
Speaker 1: there's that. And then there's a second piece of this,
Speaker 1: and that is why are you chasing the fucking garbage truck.
Speaker 1: It's coming back in another three days. What the hell
Speaker 1: do you care? Why do you have to, you know,
Speaker 1: get all the garbage out right now. I mean it's
Speaker 1: not that it was like putrid smelling trash. It was
Speaker 1: broken up cardboard boxes. So as a homeowner, you have
Speaker 1: to do. You have to you have to do shut out,
Speaker 1: you have to get it out, you have to cleanse
Speaker 1: your mentally, reset your house. That's what exactly you said.
Speaker 1: The keyword, Brodie, mentally get it out. It's in your head.
Speaker 1: It's all in your brain, So what let it go?
Speaker 1: The thing is he should set a reminder like his
Speaker 1: son that he ignores. It says the night before take
Speaker 1: Like I have a reminder of my phone on Tuesday nights.
Speaker 1: It says recycle all. So it reminds me on Tuesday's
Speaker 1: I put out the boxes and the bottles, the recyclable
Speaker 1: calends whatever, everything goes out. Although I'm a little anal
Speaker 1: about one thing. You're allowed to commingle. You're allowed to
Speaker 1: put the boxes in the cans in the same pail.
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't do it. I gotta go cans
Speaker 1: and bottles in one tail and boxes in the other
Speaker 1: I can't do it. I can't do it. So part
Speaker 1: three of speaking of being anal but continued, do you
Speaker 1: want to say something? It was about it. It was
Speaker 1: on that same note of my parents. Only only that
Speaker 1: you say to said the boxes thing, and I'll let
Speaker 1: you get back to your parents real quick. The boxes
Speaker 1: went out last night right as of in my house.
Speaker 1: You don't know my house right Tuesday night at the
Speaker 1: boxes and bottles went out with the garbage last night
Speaker 1: as of the start of this podcast, because I checked,
Speaker 1: they hadn't picked up the boxes yet. So what happens
Speaker 1: is if they don't come, there's no alert from the
Speaker 1: town that says we're gonna come tomorrow. Sometimes there'll be
Speaker 1: some holiday we didn't know about, or like there's whatever, whatever,
Speaker 1: there was a reason for they had a snow day. Whatever,
Speaker 1: they'll go, Oh, they won't tell you they'll pick it
Speaker 1: up next Wednesday. So you have no way of knowing.
Speaker 1: Do I leave the boxes out and they're gonna come
Speaker 1: tomorrow at day late because they're running behind because maybe
Speaker 1: on Monday they was they had a snow problem, so
Speaker 1: everything got backed up at day They don't tell you
Speaker 1: they don't send it a town right email. You go
Speaker 1: on the website, they don't always update it. So on Thursday,
Speaker 1: everybody walks out like it's a zombie apocalypse, and they're like,
Speaker 1: they didn't take the boxes? Do I bring them back
Speaker 1: in the house. So there's always one guy who's like
Speaker 1: dragon is dragging the pail back in the house. And
Speaker 1: then there's other people are going, well, what if they come.
Speaker 1: I gotta leave it out, what if they come? So
Speaker 1: then by Friday the boxes stot and like funk it,
Speaker 1: they're not coming. And sometimes they come on Friday and
Speaker 1: you're like oh, and then you run after them because
Speaker 1: you're like doing your house. They only come once a week.
Speaker 1: You're like, I got all these fucking boxes. Fuck and
Speaker 1: you got Dennis. The fucking guys, fucking guys leave. They
Speaker 1: didn't take the boxes. They didn't take the box. I
Speaker 1: believe you. I haven't want your father on that, but
Speaker 1: that one's his fault. Well, the third part of this
Speaker 1: is I I also my mother was like, hey, Anthony,
Speaker 1: you have one of those tushy bid days. So I said,
Speaker 1: I said, yeah, I said, they actually I actually have
Speaker 1: an unopened you know, we've did some business full disclosure.
Speaker 1: Tushy was a sponsor of The Big Show that Elvis,
Speaker 1: not this podcast, not this podcast. Uh and and um,
Speaker 1: they gave me a free tushy which is a little
Speaker 1: a bi day. It sits uh you screw it to
Speaker 1: your the water thing on. It's not that different, but right, yeah,
Speaker 1: and and then you have some bidat action and you've
Speaker 1: got some like right up your ass, you know, water
Speaker 1: going up your ass. You don't know. Let's be honest,
Speaker 1: we've gotten more than one. Yeah, so this is my right.
Speaker 1: So so this one right here. So my my mother's like,
Speaker 1: I want, I want to install it, bring it home.
Speaker 1: I said, great, I said you can have it. So
Speaker 1: I part of the reason where you can see my
Speaker 1: parents just today is to drop off the b day.
Speaker 1: And you know, again it's just a small little thing
Speaker 1: that attaches to the toilet seat underneath. It's again, as
Speaker 1: Brody said, very easy to put together right rightly, so
Speaker 1: that you everything that squirts your mother's ass, right. But
Speaker 1: unbeknownst to me, hold on it was again it's a
Speaker 1: Brooklyn is a Brooklyn couple in their seventies fighting They
Speaker 1: don't know from the fancy schmancy that's my father's problem. Apparently,
Speaker 1: unbeknownst to me, my father, well, my father and my well,
Speaker 1: hold on, you can't tell what I can before he does.
Speaker 1: My parents here here, you can. You can do the
Speaker 1: re imagine the imagining of what happened. But but I
Speaker 1: I found out that my parents had a fight about
Speaker 1: the day or no boday. My my father did not
Speaker 1: want to install it and my mom wanted it. But
Speaker 1: four I got there, so I didn't hear the fight,
Speaker 1: So I can just imagine what it What have sounded like? Oh,
Speaker 1: so here's what in my mind what your father would say. Row, Row,
Speaker 1: I'm sixty eight years old or whatever. I lived this
Speaker 1: long without water shooting on my ass. Somehow I managed
Speaker 1: to wipe my own butt. I don't need some new
Speaker 1: fangled fancies thing from our son with his pre brint
Speaker 1: turkeys bringing his thing here to shoot water on my
Speaker 1: ass like I'm some kind of I don't know. I
Speaker 1: can't wipe my own ass. Guy, you want the guys
Speaker 1: at my job to find out I can't wipe my
Speaker 1: own ass. You want people to come over here and
Speaker 1: shoot water? Hey, hey, Tony, he's used I shot water
Speaker 1: on my ass. It's a nice thing you got. I
Speaker 1: don't want that. I don't want to know from other people.
Speaker 1: I don't want to know that he's got the water
Speaker 1: shooting him. I don't want it. I don't want to row.
Speaker 1: I got the fancy garbage barely bought me opens by itself.
Speaker 1: That's enough. That's enough of a life adjustment. I don't
Speaker 1: need no water squarter on my s s. How's that?
Speaker 1: That was probably how it went. I don't know how
Speaker 1: it actually went, but they were, they were with each other,
Speaker 1: and of course my father went out, he goes, I
Speaker 1: don't want this thing. So apparently there's not gonna be
Speaker 1: a bi day in the scary house over there in Brooklyn.
Speaker 1: They they've he's turned it down. Yuh know, he's old school,
Speaker 1: he's he's paper guy. He's me. My mom is like
Speaker 1: willing to try it. She's like, you know what, that
Speaker 1: would be nice. What if there comes a time where
Speaker 1: we can't wipe it round? Okay, but you know, you
Speaker 1: know why the ladies liked them to day. Well, I'm
Speaker 1: not saying mom, I'm saying the pig I am. Okay,
Speaker 1: So speaking of toilets, can just say we're going for it. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: So we have, um, we have bathrooms at work, and
Speaker 1: after the show today I wanted to use the bathroom
Speaker 1: out by the reception area to private, you know, one
Speaker 1: stall bathroom. So I went in there to use the
Speaker 1: bathroom and I have they have the thing on the
Speaker 1: wall with the seat covers toilet sea covers. Okay, so
Speaker 1: it was a brand new package of seat covers in
Speaker 1: this metal holder. Well, you know, when you're in like
Speaker 1: a pizza place, you gotta take the tissue to the
Speaker 1: napkins out and it's full. You can't get them out.
Speaker 1: I hate that. So you have to grab like ten
Speaker 1: of them when they overpack it right, Okay, so that's overpacked.
Speaker 1: I can't get it out. So I have to take
Speaker 1: one out and it rips. I take another one out,
Speaker 1: it rips. So now I take like four out and
Speaker 1: they're all ripping. I got. I had to go through
Speaker 1: like ten to make it loose enough to get them out.
Speaker 1: I should have just opened the cover, but I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm stubborn. I'm like, the next one is gonna be gold.
Speaker 1: So I finally get one that's in one piece. You know,
Speaker 1: it's got that flap right, and it's not always a perforated.
Speaker 1: You have to like perforate the flap and then so
Speaker 1: while you're doing that, you end up ripping it. So
Speaker 1: I had to throw that one out too. And then
Speaker 1: I had to flush the toilet, which is an auto flush,
Speaker 1: very important to the story. It's an auto flush infrared
Speaker 1: and as a button. So I had to like, you know,
Speaker 1: knuckle the button because I didn't want to like touch it.
Speaker 1: So I took toilet paper on my knuckle and I
Speaker 1: flushed it. So I flushed like ten toilet seed covers.
Speaker 1: I get. Well, let's say it's called the eleventh. The
Speaker 1: eleventh one perfectly on the seat. I put the flap
Speaker 1: down into the water lock that in, put down, flip
Speaker 1: it and reverse it right so that I do. I
Speaker 1: do the pants down, the turnaround pants on the ground,
Speaker 1: and as I go to sit down, I hear it
Speaker 1: auto flushed and sucked the cover right down. So now
Speaker 1: as I'm as gravity is pulling my ass down to
Speaker 1: the seat, I gotta grab the handicap bar and pull
Speaker 1: myself back up because it almost I almost sat down
Speaker 1: on skanky seat. So now I gotta start the process
Speaker 1: over again. I'm trying to get a seat cover that
Speaker 1: isn't ripped, So I had to go through four more
Speaker 1: seat covers and I have to go to the bathroom
Speaker 1: at this point. So f you auto flush, because you
Speaker 1: know when you wanted to flush, the fucking thing doesn't flush.
Speaker 1: You're there for an half hour waving your hand and
Speaker 1: your leg doesn't. The second you make a false move,
Speaker 1: it flushes. And nobodays at work, by the way, no days.
Speaker 1: All right, we have uh oh, we have some voicemail
Speaker 1: to play coming up, and we relates to Brooklyn. For Brooklyn,
Speaker 1: we have voicemails. Uh and you guys on the number,
Speaker 1: which is great. Uh and oh. I also want to
Speaker 1: talk about how you don't know how to respond to
Speaker 1: questions what huh with body and scary? All right? Are
Speaker 1: we doing all? Sound here? Whatever you want to do?
Speaker 1: And I think we should we have the whole the voicemails.
Speaker 1: I gotta have five or six of them we should play.
Speaker 1: So we posed a question. We threw a question out
Speaker 1: there on Twitter. Yeah and I saw so I sent
Speaker 1: out the unless you want to do that in a
Speaker 1: little while, Did you have something else at the moment, No,
Speaker 1: let's do that. Let's les No nothing, I got all
Speaker 1: kinds of stuff. I sent that there was an article
Speaker 1: and I don't know where it was, and as a
Speaker 1: local New York website, and it was an article about
Speaker 1: northeast customs New York, Philadelphia, and Boston. There might be
Speaker 1: other cities, but this article was about the ones, the
Speaker 1: bigger cities in our area that we know for a fact.
Speaker 1: This happens when you live on a side street, you
Speaker 1: have a private house, not in a big city, but
Speaker 1: you're a you know, you have you have a house
Speaker 1: on a side street, and you shovel. You don't have
Speaker 1: a driveway, right, you don't have your own garage, and
Speaker 1: so you park on the street, parallel park. You shovel
Speaker 1: out your car, and you pull out the car. You
Speaker 1: shovel for an hour, you get all the snow out
Speaker 1: from behind the wheels. You finally get out, and there's
Speaker 1: that wall of snow from the uh, the snows what
Speaker 1: they call us the snow the street cleaners that push
Speaker 1: the snow to the right, always always on the left,
Speaker 1: always because they always shove the snow to the right.
Speaker 1: And then your stuff and I live on a cul
Speaker 1: de sac, so both sides of the right because it
Speaker 1: shoves to the right goes around the circle and then
Speaker 1: I'm on the right and gap right, so my my
Speaker 1: driveway is always destroyed anyway. So if so you know
Speaker 1: we lived in Brooklyn, we used to shovel out the
Speaker 1: cars and when you pulled out, some lucky funk would
Speaker 1: pull into your spot that you did all the work.
Speaker 1: So a lot of times people would put stuff in
Speaker 1: this spot, like a folding chair. They would steal the
Speaker 1: orange cones from some construction site and make it look
Speaker 1: like a construction site. You put something in a bike rack,
Speaker 1: something in the spot that no one would go in
Speaker 1: the spot. And then when you came home at night,
Speaker 1: your shoveled out spot as they're waiting for you because
Speaker 1: you did all the work. Hey, that's my spot. I
Speaker 1: shoveled it out. It's my spot. But is it is it? Well?
Speaker 1: I'd like to think it is, but some people would
Speaker 1: disagree and go the funk. You can't. You don't own
Speaker 1: a spot, right because that guy may have shoveled out
Speaker 1: his spot, but now he's in your neighborhood. He's gonna
Speaker 1: talk in your spot, right, Or maybe he was in
Speaker 1: a parking lot somewhere. Either way, he's he needs a spot.
Speaker 1: If everybody saved the spot, no one have a spot.
Speaker 1: So there's difference thing differences of opinion. So I sent
Speaker 1: out a tweet and Scary retweeted it, Um, what do
Speaker 1: you think about this? And please leave a message at
Speaker 1: our voicemail or new phone number that we've been promoting.
Speaker 1: F you abe, that's two three two three seven seven,
Speaker 1: which Scary likes to give out. You can figure out
Speaker 1: the phone number. It's two E F you A seventy seven.
Speaker 1: So we got some voicemails and I said, hey, keep
Speaker 1: it short, keep it funny. I don't leave a voicemail.
Speaker 1: It says yeah. So it comes nine on the topic
Speaker 1: at Central Jersey. Yeah, boys, I'm calling about your picture
Speaker 1: of the people that sever of the snow and then
Speaker 1: they mark their spot or take their territory. I think
Speaker 1: they have every right to take their territory. That actually
Speaker 1: is a picture that you show is right in front
Speaker 1: of his house. But if you busted your rear in
Speaker 1: and you clean that spot, look gives other people the
Speaker 1: rights to just come and slide in when they sat
Speaker 1: there and watched you do all the shoveling and all
Speaker 1: the work. So I think that they should be able
Speaker 1: to put places, little markers or whatever they do share
Speaker 1: in their spots, and that should be for them when
Speaker 1: they come back from work. Have a great day, all right,
Speaker 1: stay warm, We'll stay warm. Hey, leave your name next time.
Speaker 1: We'd love to, you know, say hi, but thank you.
Speaker 1: Female voice on the phone. Some fine feedback there. Um.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I agree with that, but what
Speaker 1: else we got? All right? Here we go, Eric. So
Speaker 1: if you dumb enough to go out there and shovel
Speaker 1: out the spot, you're dumb enough to realize that anyone
Speaker 1: can take it. So that's it. If you go out
Speaker 1: there and shovel it, I'm taking because I ain't shoveling
Speaker 1: the way it is. Raoul on Long Island. Bravo Raoul.
Speaker 1: That is the ultimate Brooklyn attitude. And I agree with you.
Speaker 1: But here's the thing, right, Roulin's got to the New
Speaker 1: York attitude. Right, Hey, I'm gonna pauk in that fucking spot.
Speaker 1: But if it was his spot, his New York attitude
Speaker 1: would say, don't punk in my fucking spot. I don't
Speaker 1: believe Raoul for a second. I think as the spot er,
Speaker 1: he's like, I'll take that spot. But if he was
Speaker 1: the spot. He'd be like, don't take my spot. You
Speaker 1: have to agree to that ski, you don't you if
Speaker 1: that guy's attitude says to me he did keep that spot,
Speaker 1: Yes he would. And I don't blame him for it.
Speaker 1: I just think it's finders keepers. You know what happened
Speaker 1: to me today, I'll be honest with you. So there
Speaker 1: was really no spots today because again it's still you know,
Speaker 1: it's snow in Manhattan. And I'm d and I drove
Speaker 1: to work today, so and I I'm sorry, I drove.
Speaker 1: I drove, and I I didn't park in the garage.
Speaker 1: I decided to park on the street because I want
Speaker 1: to park there. Now there's no there's no park any
Speaker 1: parking anywhere. All of a sudden, I pull up to
Speaker 1: where the bakery is. There's actually three spots, and I
Speaker 1: see a giant ass police metal grade, a big long
Speaker 1: the loe of the defense, the long fences base they use.
Speaker 1: Look at this. This motherfucker put one parallel into the
Speaker 1: parallel parking space. He put a parallel with the spot,
Speaker 1: and then there's a car and back in a car
Speaker 1: in the front, and then the middle parked at like
Speaker 1: a car and in the middle and the Yeah, he
Speaker 1: parked it like a car in the and he threw
Speaker 1: this So I and uh like best best decisions that
Speaker 1: Andrew was like, was in the car with music, You
Speaker 1: want to get out and move it. I'm like, fuck yeah.
Speaker 1: In fact, once I parked this car, I'm gonna take
Speaker 1: this thing. I'm gonna move it walking down the street
Speaker 1: so no one throws it to my windshield. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: obviously some asshole thought that he gets he gets to
Speaker 1: like parking that spot and save it overnight a minute.
Speaker 1: You know who it was? The bakery people parked their
Speaker 1: van on the side so they can load and unload
Speaker 1: their van. Not my fucking problem. That's right spot. It's
Speaker 1: a public parking space, and it's a metered parking for
Speaker 1: the floading and unloading. So I airplane, So so Andrew
Speaker 1: the as I got you. So Andrew took the gut
Speaker 1: out of the car, removed it. I parked where the
Speaker 1: thing was parked, and I took that thing and I
Speaker 1: just walked it around the corner ignorance, like I don't
Speaker 1: know there, not even close to my car. Okay, here's
Speaker 1: the big question. If Andrew wasn't there, would you have
Speaker 1: left your car double park for a second and moved
Speaker 1: it yourself. Yeah, absolutely, because he was I was desperate. Okay,
Speaker 1: Cody for five, that's north of the ship. Brody is scary.
Speaker 1: My last response for too long. The short of it, Uh,
Speaker 1: it's Christopher Trayris from Slice of Life in New York.
Speaker 1: If somebody put a cone in their spot and reserved
Speaker 1: the spot and somebody saw them shovel on the spot,
Speaker 1: they should not park there, right. But if they didn't
Speaker 1: see them shovel the spot and they didn't know that,
Speaker 1: that's a freebeat. You are you get that spot, You
Speaker 1: understand what I'm saying. Slice of Life, keep it up.
Speaker 1: I want to hear his longer call. So what he's
Speaker 1: saying is if I got this right, If you see
Speaker 1: the guy shovel for the woman shovel and put the
Speaker 1: cone there and drive off, you gotta respect the guy
Speaker 1: because you saw him shovel. But if there's a cone
Speaker 1: there and you didn't see him shovel, fuck it. It's
Speaker 1: open season because you don't know if the guy who
Speaker 1: shoveled and put the cone there, or the guy who
Speaker 1: came after the shoveler parked there and then at the
Speaker 1: cone there you know nothing, you know something, Chris Travers,
Speaker 1: I agree with you. I do agree. I think that's
Speaker 1: a happy medium. Um, if if the spot has been
Speaker 1: shoveled out and then and there's no car there, I'm
Speaker 1: just jumping in. If I don't know who it is,
Speaker 1: you didn't see it, it didn't happen, right, I don't
Speaker 1: know nothing. I didn't see nothing. Somehow it got shoveled though,
Speaker 1: which I don't care because I can't prove who show
Speaker 1: Maybe it's somebody I fucking hate. But if but but honestly, yes,
Speaker 1: if I saw the person shoveling and sweating and toiling
Speaker 1: and putting all their effort into it, Okay, then I
Speaker 1: will well let me ask you this. Then, do you
Speaker 1: if you if you take the cone out of the spot?
Speaker 1: Oh that that that gets right? Okay? Do you walk
Speaker 1: the cone down the block like you did with the fence?
Speaker 1: Do you? Or or or be do you keep the
Speaker 1: cone and put it in your trunk so you have
Speaker 1: it now as ammo from your spot next time? Or
Speaker 1: if you're only gonna be there for a couple of hours, right,
Speaker 1: let's see you doing a little shopping. You can be
Speaker 1: a couple of hours. When you leave, do you put
Speaker 1: the them back? Yeah? Uh, well you're taking the calne.
Speaker 1: Non I put the comb back. I'm not steal the cone.
Speaker 1: So you're gonna you So what do you do with
Speaker 1: the colne? You're gonna put it in your car until
Speaker 1: you come back, or you're gonna put it like up
Speaker 1: the blocking the top of my car. I hide it.
Speaker 1: Then when I then I leave, I take it out
Speaker 1: of my trunk and I throw it back out there.
Speaker 1: But you're not leaving with it. No need to. I
Speaker 1: don't need dirty fing cone in my car. Um. All right.
Speaker 1: So that's all we have on that topic, and just
Speaker 1: the three voicemails, that's it. Yeah, and then we have
Speaker 1: all we well, we have other voicemails that they just
Speaker 1: decided to say their own thing, like Eric code seven
Speaker 1: one seven that's a Lancaster scary, scary brody. What's up
Speaker 1: Jason from Eastern Pennsylvania calling in regards to episode two
Speaker 1: three when Scar was talking about his standard toilet, Um
Speaker 1: not the same one? What dozen golf balls? Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: it doesn't. I just want to call and say that
Speaker 1: that's bullshit. It doesn't. Um Na keep up doing what
Speaker 1: you're doing. You guys are awesome talculator. So the Champion
Speaker 1: four the Champion four toilet which claims, yeah, so do
Speaker 1: I and this guy has it too. I'm wondering if
Speaker 1: he experimented, Like, how did he actually find out that
Speaker 1: it doesn't he throws bucket of golf balls in there?
Speaker 1: Well okay? Or did he eat the golf balls and
Speaker 1: poop them out? It says it's that The claim for
Speaker 1: that toilet is it swallows a bucket of golf balls
Speaker 1: in one gulp and flushes him down and flush him. Well,
Speaker 1: but here's the thing that I don't know if he's
Speaker 1: I don't know if you can factor this in. What
Speaker 1: if your pipes are clogged and the balls get stuck
Speaker 1: in the pipe. That's a great question. Oh my girlfriend's
Speaker 1: calling on your phone? What fuck? Well? That that that?
Speaker 1: That's the cutee running that I have. Yeah, I want
Speaker 1: to talk hold on a second right right? Uh hello,
Speaker 1: hello Brooklyn Boys Hotline? Are you really putting me on
Speaker 1: your podcast right now? We aren't doing that. I'm not
Speaker 1: even here. Oh oh, I thought you were scary Bertie.
Speaker 1: Oh we're both at we sound the same. I know
Speaker 1: what's up. I just wanted to know if we were
Speaker 1: celebrating your birthday tomorrow or not. We were talking about that.
Speaker 1: We're talking about that. It's funny you called perfect. So
Speaker 1: here's here's what you missed. Robin, uh scary blew off
Speaker 1: my birthday until eleven thirty two at night, even one
Speaker 1: at night on Sunday because he can't remember that my
Speaker 1: birthday every year every year. Somehow it works out every
Speaker 1: year it's four days before his coincidence, that works where
Speaker 1: the coundar works. He can't remember that. He put a
Speaker 1: reminder on his phone, and then when I called him
Speaker 1: on it, he said, well, you know what my birthday.
Speaker 1: You know, Robin wants to take me out, but I
Speaker 1: don't really celebrate birth It's not a big deal to me.
Speaker 1: My boys want to take me out. It's a big deal.
Speaker 1: So so he's trying to make me feel like it's
Speaker 1: not a big deal. I forgot my birthday because it's
Speaker 1: not important to him. So I said, oh, what if
Speaker 1: you ignored Robin's birthday? And your excuse was, well, Robin,
Speaker 1: it's not that important to me, so it shouldn't be
Speaker 1: that important. You would that work for you? With Robin?
Speaker 1: He goes, oh, hell, no, she loves celebrating her birthday.
Speaker 1: Said we don't. I said if if, it doesn't matter
Speaker 1: if you like your birthday or not. The people around
Speaker 1: you like their birthdays, so you should treat them the
Speaker 1: way they want to be treated, not the way you
Speaker 1: want to be treated. You agree with that, right totally?
Speaker 1: Was that the ice cream man coming down the street?
Speaker 1: What the hell is that noise? Oh? That was the TV?
Speaker 1: I turned it off? Well, scary. Ask Robin the question
Speaker 1: about the cone in the parking space. She's from the
Speaker 1: shoveling out parking spaces. You spend all days shoveling out
Speaker 1: your car and then and then um, and you leave
Speaker 1: and then somebody takes the spot. What's up with that?
Speaker 1: Is it okay to put a cone or something the spot? Ye?
Speaker 1: Should you say? Is it okay for you to save
Speaker 1: the place that you shoveled or is it as you
Speaker 1: did all the work? Or is it free parking for
Speaker 1: whoever comes there next? No, it's thank you. See, that's
Speaker 1: why we get along. Well, that's because neither one of
Speaker 1: you has shoveled out a car. And how long you're
Speaker 1: not a driver? So right? Right? So Robin doesn't know
Speaker 1: the hardship of shoveling out your car when you have
Speaker 1: to get somewhere and then you call your tires is
Speaker 1: spinn You're putting cardboard boxes under your tire to get
Speaker 1: it to go, and you take forty five minutes to
Speaker 1: shovel and I want to get your car out. And
Speaker 1: then you're like, I want my spot, so you put
Speaker 1: something in there. You go. I did all the work.
Speaker 1: I'm keeping my spot. So Scary and Robin agree, open season,
Speaker 1: right all right? And to answer your question, Uh yeah,
Speaker 1: let's do dinner tomorrow. Okay, great, you tell me when
Speaker 1: you're done, then club and do you like a good biday? No?
Speaker 1: They kind of freaked me out, thank you. You know what.
Speaker 1: So the same thing with my my father hits them.
Speaker 1: As I found out yesterday. My father my mother wanted one. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so he drove there to install it, and before he
Speaker 1: got there, they had a big fight, and uh, Anthony
Speaker 1: sr Red Red Red Row the riot act about how
Speaker 1: he doesn't want this thing stroking up his vest. He's
Speaker 1: whipped his seven almost seventy years by himself. I don't
Speaker 1: need some water things shooting up there. I know what
Speaker 1: I'm doing. One of my some child. So they had
Speaker 1: a big fight, big fight, dishes with thrown you know, craziness.
Speaker 1: I got that electronic garbage pail from Anthony. I don't
Speaker 1: want anything else. You know, the creator, the creator of
Speaker 1: the tussie, the c she'll tell you, she will tell
Speaker 1: the creator of the tushie will tell you that we've
Speaker 1: been we've been wiping our butts with paper for a
Speaker 1: hundred fifty years. Why has nobody questioned this? So you
Speaker 1: know in other countries they do it, that they have
Speaker 1: days they have you know, but why do why is Americans?
Speaker 1: We've sat here for a hundred and fifty years and
Speaker 1: this is the only way. Is this the only answer? Well?
Speaker 1: She's is she on with us tomorrow? Okay? So I
Speaker 1: have a question for Robin. Maybe, because you're smart, maybe
Speaker 1: can figure this out. Would you agree for the most
Speaker 1: part that humans are the top of the food chain,
Speaker 1: so to speak, we're the most advanced uh race on
Speaker 1: the plan on it, most advanced animal rather on the planet.
Speaker 1: We fly planes, right, we fly planes, boats and trains.
Speaker 1: We create the Internet. I don't think we're the most advanced. No,
Speaker 1: but we don't know about that. We can't prove anything, right,
Speaker 1: Lions are king of the jungle, but they can't make
Speaker 1: a plane. Right, But you tell me this, how is
Speaker 1: it that as the top of the food chain most
Speaker 1: advanced species? That's the words look a species. And for
Speaker 1: the most part, unless you're a hairy man from a
Speaker 1: certain part of the world, your asses are mostly hairless,
Speaker 1: mostly right, How is it my hairy long haired dogs
Speaker 1: can poop and get nothing on there, but just poop
Speaker 1: and walk away. Animals all over the jungle can poop.
Speaker 1: What uh? Water buffalo with long hair, they poop, they
Speaker 1: walk away? Right? Humans have to wipe? How? What? What? What?
Speaker 1: God designed people in his own image that have to
Speaker 1: wipe their ass after poop? A question? Just a bottle
Speaker 1: the monologue? I want Robin to explain to me. Why
Speaker 1: is the head of the top of the food chain
Speaker 1: the most advanced species one of the only ones you
Speaker 1: have to wipe our butts? What is that I think
Speaker 1: you do? Well? Are you inferring Brodie that we should
Speaker 1: just we should just like poop and walk away like
Speaker 1: the rest of the animal. Is that what you got
Speaker 1: from that headline? Yes? No, I'm saying who designed us?
Speaker 1: That we can't just walk away? We have to wipe
Speaker 1: unless we get that miracle poop that comes out right
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, no, wipe, fantastic. Right, you get
Speaker 1: that one a month where you go, oh that was awesome.
Speaker 1: What did I eat this week? I'll make sure I
Speaker 1: eat that again. But for the most part, you're always wiping.
Speaker 1: We go through millions of dollars with the toilet paper.
Speaker 1: We have toilet paper shortages. Meanwhile, giraffes are like and
Speaker 1: they walk away and they're done, done, done. That would
Speaker 1: be great. I wish we could evolve like giraffes, monkeys, monkeys.
Speaker 1: You've silenced her, and you also she's lost her appetite
Speaker 1: for tomorrow night. Thanks Brodie. You told me when Robin
Speaker 1: gets on the phone nausey eight heart, So I don't
Speaker 1: have to go out to dinner, all right, all right,
Speaker 1: all right, break in a second anyway, thank you? All right?
Speaker 1: So I like to tell we're taking and taking a break.
Speaker 1: But first a couple more voicemail that had nothing to
Speaker 1: do with anything. So that was that one. Let's see
Speaker 1: this one over here. Um, oh, we have a scamboni.
Speaker 1: Oh hey Brooklyn boys, it's monster, don't ut pants. I
Speaker 1: wanted to call in and tell you a quick, funny
Speaker 1: scamboni you know, call like you guys will talking about
Speaker 1: an episode two of four. My grandma is old and
Speaker 1: still very sharp, mind, very sharp. So she gets a
Speaker 1: phone call pretending to be her relative, probably going to
Speaker 1: ask for money. The guy says, Hi, Grandma, it's your grandson. Now,
Speaker 1: right from that sentence, she knows this is a scamboni one.
Speaker 1: My grandmother has four granddaughters, no grandsons, and two None
Speaker 1: of us ever in our whole lives, have ever called
Speaker 1: her grandma. We have our own specific nickname that started
Speaker 1: with the oldest one mispronouncing a word, and that's what's stuck.
Speaker 1: So my grandmother, who is almost ninety nine years old, says,
Speaker 1: your phone shipped to the guy and hangs up the phone.
Speaker 1: God to love the elderly who won't be taken in
Speaker 1: by the scampoo snche for life. Guys, just wanted to
Speaker 1: tell you the story. I figured you'd get a kick
Speaker 1: out of it. Have a great day, fantastic, Thank you.
Speaker 1: That was awesome. I mean it was because I have
Speaker 1: a say. And then with one more, I think, let's
Speaker 1: see here's nine uh Jersey, South Jersey. Why are these
Speaker 1: takes along to load I don't like this very much.
Speaker 1: I don't like this program having a problem with your
Speaker 1: scary scary and Bertie. Uh, this is Mary from South Jersey.
Speaker 1: I've been a slice for on a Slice for life.
Speaker 1: Had a question for you guys, specifically Brodie Bertie. When
Speaker 1: is your book coming out? I would love to uh
Speaker 1: read your book? Then any type of knowledge from you?
Speaker 1: And would you consider writing a blog instead? If your
Speaker 1: books on the way yet? I love you guys. She
Speaker 1: can't wait. She wants the blog instead of the book, right. Well, okay,
Speaker 1: so I'll answer your questions in reversal order. I would
Speaker 1: not make much money on the blog, so that that
Speaker 1: would probably not be the way from In other words,
Speaker 1: the aim is to make money, Well, i'd like to.
Speaker 1: I'd like to pay the bills, support the family. Uh.
Speaker 1: Here's the situation with the book. So I started the
Speaker 1: process of writing a book. I got a I hooked
Speaker 1: up with a with a book agent as someone who
Speaker 1: we are at a major book company who asked me
Speaker 1: to write a book synopsis and give examples, which I did.
Speaker 1: I put that together and then I had to do
Speaker 1: some other work a second piece in order to submit it. Okay,
Speaker 1: and uh, then then there was some uh, family responsibilities
Speaker 1: that popped up, and then the pandemic hit and I
Speaker 1: got sidetracked. And so as I've been compiling free dessert
Speaker 1: stories from listeners that have been sending me stuff, I
Speaker 1: have all that, and I've written. I've written a few
Speaker 1: about the ten eleven pages of an outline of the book.
Speaker 1: So it's in the process. I've I've made tons of notes,
Speaker 1: I've I'm gathering stories. I'm trying to remember old stories.
Speaker 1: I'm writing those down. It's a very long process. Now,
Speaker 1: what Elvis did with his book is he had a writer,
Speaker 1: a guy assigned to him that would help him push
Speaker 1: through the writer's block, right, help him put the thoughts
Speaker 1: and the words and the stories into book format, help
Speaker 1: him write it. Uh. He would narrate to the guy
Speaker 1: and the guy would like, write it out. I need
Speaker 1: one of those. But here's where my problem is. If
Speaker 1: you do that, you then have to you have to
Speaker 1: pay that, you have to take a big hit financially
Speaker 1: with the book company. They go like, oh, we'll hire
Speaker 1: a guy for you, but then you make less money.
Speaker 1: So the cheap part of me, the frugal part of me,
Speaker 1: I should say doesn't want to do that, but the
Speaker 1: lazy part of me or the procrastinating part of me
Speaker 1: really should do that. So it's a work in progress.
Speaker 1: I'm having that inner, that inner fight, but I do
Speaker 1: appreciate that you you still want my but I still
Speaker 1: give words of wisdom in Instagram, you know, d M s.
Speaker 1: And if you ask me a specific question, I'll do
Speaker 1: what I can to help you out. And I got
Speaker 1: a bunch of free resert stories that I'm gonna read
Speaker 1: it today or next podcast. I'm compiling those. Alright, final
Speaker 1: two messages from the same phone number, Breaking Boys Brodie
Speaker 1: and Scary Aspect Brodie Brody half a birthday, Brodie, half
Speaker 1: a birthday, Scary half a birthday Brodie's wife. Hopefully Scary
Speaker 1: Jones doesn't delete his message thank you, and then part
Speaker 1: two of that. Wait a minute, so that person again
Speaker 1: wh didn't who didn't give his name, uh, did not
Speaker 1: did not need to put a reminder on their phone.
Speaker 1: Remember it was alright, birthday and my wife's party. Alright, alright, alright,
Speaker 1: brooken brows has that is scary Now Now the Scary
Speaker 1: Jose is doing Mr Ska Jean's uh the tux diet
Speaker 1: what is there gonna be the end weight that he's
Speaker 1: gonna be down to, and he's gonna be the same
Speaker 1: or lower because he also he usually uses early to
Speaker 1: foty pounds. But I'm gonna put him back at you know,
Speaker 1: the original second quarter, Scary. And then what what is
Speaker 1: David Border doing? Like? He looks amazing? I mean not
Speaker 1: he didn't look amazing before, but but he skin is
Speaker 1: so much clear, he looks so much healthier. So which
Speaker 1: diet should we do? The David diet, yeah, or or
Speaker 1: the other one? That well? All right, so uh that's
Speaker 1: a great question. So, uh, Scary loses I usually lose
Speaker 1: thirty pounds every time. Every time I'm Scary loses the
Speaker 1: weight in about what forty days days? I lost the
Speaker 1: weight in about seventy seventy days, and then I and
Speaker 1: then I yeah, so look it, here's what I'll tell you.
Speaker 1: I've We've all done. You know, I've used I I
Speaker 1: used some of the things I learned with New. Remember
Speaker 1: a couple of years ago we were advertising for New
Speaker 1: Some of the things in that program are things if
Speaker 1: you stick with them, they work. So and I also
Speaker 1: did Weight Watchers back into twelve and I took things
Speaker 1: from that that worked really well. And so to me,
Speaker 1: like just my opinion, I'll eat a banana on Monday
Speaker 1: and a pineapple on Tuesday, three shakes on Wednesday, eat
Speaker 1: a steak on Thursday, and fish on Friday. Now you
Speaker 1: can't do that. Those are like gimmicks. The right that
Speaker 1: you have to change your life. You have to change
Speaker 1: the way you you live and eat and it has
Speaker 1: to be a long term thing. And it's not for me.
Speaker 1: This is just for me talking. You have to like,
Speaker 1: so you have to have healthy snacks around the house,
Speaker 1: so when you're hungry, you don't reach for the jar
Speaker 1: peanut butter with a spoon, eat the whole jar peanut butter.
Speaker 1: You can have a spoon of peanut butter, but then
Speaker 1: go have grapes, have healthy things in the house, right, Um,
Speaker 1: but look every there's plenty of diets where you lose
Speaker 1: weight quickly. It's it's you know this scary. You're on
Speaker 1: a very healthy diet. I mean you're eating very healthy.
Speaker 1: So so in my in my diet, it's, um, you
Speaker 1: have to have to be very regimented and very disciplined.
Speaker 1: It's it's literally proteins, vegetables, and fruit, and a specific
Speaker 1: list of each is a there's an order. There's there's
Speaker 1: a list of each one of the there's no oil,
Speaker 1: there's no oils of any kind. No butter if it
Speaker 1: has oil in it, or if it's oil, cannot have it.
Speaker 1: No carbs, sugar meaning things that have added sugar, not
Speaker 1: sugar from fruit. No. No dairy eggs are okay. Low
Speaker 1: fat cottage cheese is okay. Those are some exceptions, you
Speaker 1: know the exception. And and then if you want to
Speaker 1: use sugar, you gotta use stevia. And that's it. And
Speaker 1: there's no it's simply no carbs. And you can't have butter,
Speaker 1: you can't have olive oil, you can't have avocados or nuts,
Speaker 1: things like that. But proteins, vegetables, fruit, and you follow
Speaker 1: a like kind of like this paste out thing by
Speaker 1: drinking this bottle of waterfalls schedule right to schedule thing.
Speaker 1: And it's a very very difficult, very difficult um program
Speaker 1: to to to do to achieve a lot of people
Speaker 1: try it, fail it. A lot of people try it
Speaker 1: cheating then go back, cheat on it, go back. They
Speaker 1: don't lose maximum weight, but involves getting your body into
Speaker 1: a fat burning zone. And the second you introduce oil
Speaker 1: to the body again, it goes out of the zone
Speaker 1: for three to three days or so three to five days,
Speaker 1: and you're like, what the funk, I'm not anymore? So
Speaker 1: you you have to retrain your body. It's very regimented
Speaker 1: and and it's it's quicker than not for everyone, and
Speaker 1: and you find yourself eating very healthily. For me, I
Speaker 1: ate healthy er, right, So I had salad with a
Speaker 1: lot of meals instead of my Chinese food three nights
Speaker 1: a week is on my pizza. But I had had
Speaker 1: a slice of pizza once every other week. I you know,
Speaker 1: I put chicken in my salad when I wanted to,
Speaker 1: you know, give me a self a little bonus. So
Speaker 1: for me, it was slow and steady. But that's also
Speaker 1: harder because it was months and months of me losing
Speaker 1: weight to get to where I am. For me, it's like,
Speaker 1: all right, let's do this real quick and then rip
Speaker 1: the band aid off and then come back and then
Speaker 1: then start waiting. Hope you answered your question? Yeah? All right,
Speaker 1: so two different styles, yeah, podcast, so you said before
Speaker 1: the commercial break, I hope we answered your questions, right.
Speaker 1: You This week especially have been driving me crazy because
Speaker 1: I keep asking you multiple questions and you're you're not
Speaker 1: answering my questions. You're choosing what in the text message.
Speaker 1: So I'll give you an example. So I said, hey, man,
Speaker 1: try and retweet me when you get a chance. I
Speaker 1: just tweeted about an hour ago about the phone number,
Speaker 1: those voicemails we talked about. Also what happened right? And
Speaker 1: I said, also what happened with the paintings. Lastly, the
Speaker 1: podcast that we're doing a podcast tomorrow, and you roll back.
Speaker 1: I did, so you answered the first thing about tweet tweeting.
Speaker 1: You ignored the paintings question and ignored the podcast question.
Speaker 1: I asked you three questions, you wrote I did. Then
Speaker 1: I said, um oh, I asked you. I asked you know.
Speaker 1: So I asked you three questions. You answered one. The
Speaker 1: next day, I said, hey, I forgot when we're having
Speaker 1: that meeting with that guy? You know what I'm talking about? Uh?
Speaker 1: And um oh, I said, I said, when does that
Speaker 1: guy have having that meeting on our behalf? Also when
Speaker 1: is our conference call? Right? Two different questions, you're up
Speaker 1: back Thursday? I asked you two questions. You're up back Thursday?
Speaker 1: So I wrote, back. I asked you to questions. Which
Speaker 1: one is that an answer to? Do you see what
Speaker 1: you see? You see what what what I deal with
Speaker 1: on a daily basis? Do you see what the problem
Speaker 1: is here? Brody? You just Brody? Yes, Brod is the problem?
Speaker 1: You just framed it and you just put yourself literally
Speaker 1: you've wrapped it up into a bow on why you're
Speaker 1: a problem because normal people and humans don't talk like that.
Speaker 1: You don't spit fire like three or four questions in
Speaker 1: a row. We have dialogue. So to me, you ask
Speaker 1: a question, I respond, You come back with question two.
Speaker 1: I respond with question two, and then you respond with
Speaker 1: question three, and it's it's But the thing is is
Speaker 1: a flowing you see how you have a flowing dialogue
Speaker 1: on this podcast and in real life and in real
Speaker 1: life and when we're out in a bar with our
Speaker 1: friends and we're hanging out just just being social. Text
Speaker 1: message is not conversation. If I say, I see that's
Speaker 1: the difference. I beg to different, Brodie. I don't have
Speaker 1: conversations where I just rapid fire ship at people, so
Speaker 1: you don't. But the text message in the text message,
Speaker 1: I wanted to know if if if let's call him Mike.
Speaker 1: I said, Hey, is Mike going to have that meeting
Speaker 1: on our behalf? And when is our conference call the Mike?
Speaker 1: Those are two connected thoughts. You can't you be like, Hey,
Speaker 1: introduced the first question with Mike, then I respond to it,
Speaker 1: and then you play off of that because I was
Speaker 1: getting in my call. It's called a follow up because
Speaker 1: I was going driving. So I'm gonna I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: sit there and go I'm gonna send because something Okay,
Speaker 1: how many times this week if I texted you and
Speaker 1: you didn't get back to me for six hours? And
Speaker 1: I how many times? Sometimes things require longer? Something I
Speaker 1: don't talk with. I don't like to talk take naps.
Speaker 1: You tell me, oh, I forgot Brodie, I said her mind.
Speaker 1: You didn't get back to you on your text? Man
Speaker 1: didn't did I? Did? I not? Twice say Man, are
Speaker 1: you okay? I called your house? I thought you would. Dad.
Speaker 1: I want to say, you didn't respond to my tennis say.
Speaker 1: I want to say nobody texts out way. I want
Speaker 1: to say this, Yeah. I don't like to talk with
Speaker 1: my thumbs. I if something requires an explanation, I like
Speaker 1: to talk on the phone and deals didn't call me,
Speaker 1: call me, you didn't call me. You want to say
Speaker 1: to me, Brodie, I'll call you just new Thursday. I
Speaker 1: knew said Thursday. So then text me back, go I'll
Speaker 1: call you later. I'll answer your questions. You know what,
Speaker 1: next time, I'm going to do that. But yeah, so
Speaker 1: my bad on that. But but I just I don't
Speaker 1: like putting full paragraphs and back and forth dialogue over
Speaker 1: text paragraph like a couple of it. There is to
Speaker 1: go back and forth more than four or five times.
Speaker 1: Nobody remembers requires a phone conversation if I text you,
Speaker 1: really so if I call yount inswer the phone in
Speaker 1: the afternoons and you go, oh, I was closing deals
Speaker 1: all day. How many times have you said that this week?
Speaker 1: It was business closing deals? Yeah? I was called in
Speaker 1: some meetings. Yeah, all weeks. So I can't get you
Speaker 1: on the phone. So I text you my questions and
Speaker 1: get figured you'll get back to me. For this this
Speaker 1: you got a grammar police jingle for me? I got
Speaker 1: an ironic grammar please problem ironic grammar ironic yes, grammer
Speaker 1: police police police. The grammar police have arrived on the scene.
Speaker 1: So for my birthday, one of our female listeners sent
Speaker 1: me a very nice uh message on the ELV Strand
Speaker 1: Morning Show Instagram page, and she wrote, happy birthday, David Brody.
Speaker 1: You're amazing and I love your grammar police, to which
Speaker 1: I replied, do you well, then you use the wrong
Speaker 1: your I knew she did. I knew it. I knew
Speaker 1: it as soon as you said it. I'm like, she said,
Speaker 1: she spelled, You're wrong, right, So she wrote back, you
Speaker 1: got me ha ha soa. She was a good sport
Speaker 1: about it, but in this but again she loved my
Speaker 1: grammar police. How could I not grammar police? Are she
Speaker 1: grammar police? Me? Um? I probably have other grammar polices here.
Speaker 1: But I wanted to just stop down because I've complained
Speaker 1: about this before. Remember when Bob sagotied, I think I
Speaker 1: see of course, I said, I hate those scammers that
Speaker 1: were like, oh, I'd like to thank Mary because thanks
Speaker 1: to her, I can work from home, And they put
Speaker 1: on those those scam posts right like, oh, find out
Speaker 1: how to work from home thanks to Mary. So I
Speaker 1: have a problem with that. On death posts. The scamming
Speaker 1: bastards were talking about this last week, the accounts that
Speaker 1: after we did so mawagic Malwagic nine seven nine had
Speaker 1: the fucking audacity to tell me how much he loves
Speaker 1: Gracey because his life has changed. You know. He posted
Speaker 1: it on my birthday post on the Elvis stra In
Speaker 1: Morning show, David Brodie birthday post. Oh no you don't,
Speaker 1: so I logged into the other stra In show account.
Speaker 1: I reported him and his comment and blocked him. Oh
Speaker 1: no you do not gets a block too. You don't,
Speaker 1: you don't. You don't hijack my birthday post. I only
Speaker 1: get one a year, even though Scary Jones isn't gonna
Speaker 1: see it. So, um, that's cool. This is this is
Speaker 1: not a grand police, This is a this is a
Speaker 1: know your audience police. I just this is something I
Speaker 1: wanted to point out. I am so happy, but this
Speaker 1: is this is what we deal with in life with
Speaker 1: with news headlines and the media and and you might
Speaker 1: have seen this. I posted this on my story yesterday. Um.
Speaker 1: The media will always spin a headline and tailor it
Speaker 1: to their personal audience. In the case of Tom Brady,
Speaker 1: for instance, Tom Brady, as you know, quarterback for the
Speaker 1: Tampa Bay Bucks and many years with favors quarterback former
Speaker 1: quarterback right, well now he's former because he's retiring after
Speaker 1: twenty two years in the NFL. This is why I
Speaker 1: said former. Right. So now now you with all the
Speaker 1: headlines and all the media, we're just saying, oh, Tom
Speaker 1: Brady retires, big news coming over. What is NBC for
Speaker 1: New York? Tweet this the station to tell Vigin station
Speaker 1: that is appealing to New Yorkers. Here was their headline
Speaker 1: on the same headline that had everyone else saying, you know,
Speaker 1: you know seven time, seven time, you know super Bowl
Speaker 1: champ Yeah, blah blah blah blah, tom Brady retiring. They right,
Speaker 1: Tom Brady, who lost two Super Bowls to the Giants
Speaker 1: during his legendary twenty two year NFL career, retires. Awesome,
Speaker 1: I love you even more Channel four because that's the
Speaker 1: New York audience. We are Giant fans. We don't really
Speaker 1: for the most part, fans, Jets fans, as fans. Listen,
Speaker 1: we don't give a funk about Tom Brady as Jets
Speaker 1: and Giants fans. I mean, listen, now, listen, he's the goat,
Speaker 1: much respect, much love. But the guys from out of town,
Speaker 1: fuck them, you know. So that's NBC BC fans. Giants
Speaker 1: fans can gloat about the goat. You can gloat about
Speaker 1: the goat. The Giants can could do the globe gloat.
Speaker 1: Jets fans actually hate him. You guys have no reason
Speaker 1: to hate him. You beat him twice. You can gloat.
Speaker 1: Man is two and oh versus Tom Brady in the
Speaker 1: Super Bowl. Fact, but Jets, he destroyed the Jets for
Speaker 1: twenty years. F him, f him. Yeah, So I just
Speaker 1: thought I just thought it was funny. I wanted to
Speaker 1: point that out. That's very funny. I do have one
Speaker 1: more more grammar police from Kyle Gray. Uh, he said, Uh,
Speaker 1: the ceiling in this air. So he showed me a
Speaker 1: picture of the blueprints in his building. They're building something
Speaker 1: and it says on it, Uh, ceiling in this area
Speaker 1: t O to t B D by owner. Ceiling in
Speaker 1: this area to t B D by owner. Okay, well,
Speaker 1: what does the T stand for in TBD to be determined. Well,
Speaker 1: it stands for two. So he wrote ceiling in this
Speaker 1: area to to be determined to right. So he wanted
Speaker 1: to point it out as a as a double initial.
Speaker 1: He wanted to point that out. Um, I have a
Speaker 1: new segment. Can is it time for my new segment?
Speaker 1: Would you like me to ask my Christmas question. Well,
Speaker 1: it was a couple of things that we tweeted on
Speaker 1: the Brooklyn Boys account. We reached follow us at the
Speaker 1: Brooklyn Boy on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. No charge, Um,
Speaker 1: this is a Danny Romero said, this is a pizza
Speaker 1: shop in Brooklyn. Are they looking to uh, what's the
Speaker 1: deal here? There's a sign up it says part time
Speaker 1: girl wanted, So Danny, Danny wants to know. Are they
Speaker 1: looking for to hire or for some companionships, or they're
Speaker 1: looking for or a part time girl part time guy.
Speaker 1: Maybe they're they're both sexiest. They just want someone who's
Speaker 1: a girl part time. And then whatever you do in
Speaker 1: your own time is your businesses. That could be interpreted
Speaker 1: three ways anyway, So that that was very funny. You know,
Speaker 1: Highway Explorer had a problem at a jewelry store from
Speaker 1: and then tagged us at jewelry, jewelwel jewelry or jewelry.
Speaker 1: You put the jew and jewel it's jewelry or jewelry,
Speaker 1: it's not jewel or whatever. Anyway, they said there was
Speaker 1: an engraving problem. Was it was a bit too small
Speaker 1: Highway Guy. Yeah, Yeah, there was a lot going on
Speaker 1: that post. So basically, here's what happened. He had an
Speaker 1: engraved bracelet or a ring, doesn't matter for the story.
Speaker 1: He needed to have it made bigger. Now, there's there's
Speaker 1: two ways to make a ring or a bracelet bigger.
Speaker 1: You can add metal to it right and make the
Speaker 1: loop bigger, or you can stretch it there by making
Speaker 1: the ring or the band thinner. Like gum. You stretch gum,
Speaker 1: it gets thinner. Right. So, because it was engraved, option
Speaker 1: two of stretching it is not an option because they
Speaker 1: stretched the engraving out, so he copied us to it.
Speaker 1: Uh and uh so they fucked him over. I think
Speaker 1: his last tweet was that they eventually fixed it, but
Speaker 1: he was pissed about it because they went to a
Speaker 1: jankety jewelry store that thought we'll make it bigger by
Speaker 1: stretching it. That's not Here's something really embarrassing. Our friend
Speaker 1: Omar from Philly was at the Sixers game and Julius
Speaker 1: Irving dr j one of legend greatest best maybe five
Speaker 1: six He was there and they he played for the
Speaker 1: six He played, yes, he played for the Sixers. He
Speaker 1: was there and then there he was on screen and
Speaker 1: they put his name underneath Julius Irving I r v
Speaker 1: I n G. I think the spells that E R
Speaker 1: V I n G. How how embarrassing is that? Maybe
Speaker 1: they just have a little Kylie kyrie on the Kyrie
Speaker 1: on the brain. Yeah, wrong, Irving wrong, Irving, wrong spelling,
Speaker 1: the right spelling of that, Irving wrong of your fucking
Speaker 1: hometown hero. Embarrassing? How could you so so he caught that?
Speaker 1: And by the way, Irving is a first name, old
Speaker 1: Jewish guy. Irving is the last name basketball player. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and uh right and then um uh okay, great, That's
Speaker 1: all I have for the moment. I'd like to shout
Speaker 1: out Lauren Schneider at Lauren Handley tv uh. She tweeted
Speaker 1: at David Brody at TB sorry t DBS Foundation, the
Speaker 1: David Brody A State Dinner Foundation. Happy birthday, Brody. May
Speaker 1: your diet coke no ice, never be flat, your bagels
Speaker 1: always be fresh, and your soup never have fucking dill.
Speaker 1: That that is my favoriteast Okay, I have a question
Speaker 1: and then a set a new segment. My question is
Speaker 1: a quick one. We're in February now, right, how long
Speaker 1: into any new year do you still have to give
Speaker 1: a Christmas tip to people. So, for instance, I got
Speaker 1: my hair cut from our girl Amy, who you went to,
Speaker 1: I went to. We've talked about this. I went to
Speaker 1: get I got a haircut November a little earlier than
Speaker 1: normal because my hair was getting out of out of control,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, I'll be back in December.
Speaker 1: But then uh, December rolled around and I didn't get
Speaker 1: my hair cut. Life got busy in mid December, late December,
Speaker 1: and I didn't get my hair cut and it was unruly.
Speaker 1: So somewhere around January fifteenth, I finally had a day
Speaker 1: where I had time. I went and got my hair cut.
Speaker 1: At that point, do I have to give a Chris
Speaker 1: a holiday tip Christmas tip? Right? Or did I think?
Speaker 1: I think? I think you're scanned it through. If it's
Speaker 1: at least if it's a month in, I think you're done.
Speaker 1: If it's two weeks in a week and a half,
Speaker 1: I think there's almost three weeks we have in the
Speaker 1: day week, I think you're over the hump on January Okay,
Speaker 1: but I didn't do it deliberately. Passed happen. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: see I'm gonna see my hair stylist tomorrow as a
Speaker 1: matter of fact, and I haven't seen her since the
Speaker 1: tenth of December. Missed the big tip guy. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think we're done. Okay, no tip, alright, no, No, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna tip a regular, but I'm not gonna give her
Speaker 1: Christmas because you're like Christmas special and she's probably thinking, oh,
Speaker 1: I haven't seen him since December. I'm sure he's gonna
Speaker 1: take care of me. So we're sure. We're sure on time.
Speaker 1: So we do have a new segment, and that we
Speaker 1: wanted to present you everything. Am I wrong? Huh, that's
Speaker 1: my segment. I'm gonna get a jingle, but that's my
Speaker 1: so you could come in with your topics also scary.
Speaker 1: Am I wrong? So you know my friend Jeff, we
Speaker 1: went to dinner a few weeks ago, and I told
Speaker 1: you how he picked up the tab because he owed me,
Speaker 1: uh and my meal was fourteen. He goes, I'll just
Speaker 1: pick up the tab so we'll be even, all right,
Speaker 1: tell you to start a couple of weeks ago. So
Speaker 1: we went out to dinner last night. I'll tell you
Speaker 1: the dinner story next week because there's some interesting dinner stuff.
Speaker 1: But I'm just gonna stick to the money, end of
Speaker 1: the experience. So he says, I'll pick you up at
Speaker 1: your house because it's on the way to the restaurant.
Speaker 1: And he picks me up and we go, and he says,
Speaker 1: I don't I don't want to talk on the street.
Speaker 1: There's metered parking. Because of the snow, there's less spots,
Speaker 1: and he don't want to drive around. He made the
Speaker 1: decision to pull into the town garage, right. I said, oh, well,
Speaker 1: there's probably spots. He's like, no, I'm gonna pull to
Speaker 1: the garage. Now. Part of me was like, well, he's driving.
Speaker 1: I'm responsible for the garage, right, But I didn't tell
Speaker 1: him to pull into the garage. So he pulls in
Speaker 1: the garage. It says ten dollars for the first two
Speaker 1: hours and twenty dollars for two hours or more. So
Speaker 1: I'm thinking, abou myself, all right, If I pick up
Speaker 1: the parking, it's ten bucks. If I go half on
Speaker 1: the parking, it's five bucks. Not the end of the world.
Speaker 1: And he drove. Now, when I say he drove, honestly,
Speaker 1: it was like a seven minute drive to the restaurant.
Speaker 1: It wasn't like he drove forty miles in the snow
Speaker 1: seven minute trip to the next town where I live,
Speaker 1: a couple of towns over, others three two or three
Speaker 1: towns over. And we went to dinner. So we've never
Speaker 1: been there before, and we weren't sure if the food
Speaker 1: was good, so I wanted to order something that was safe.
Speaker 1: I ordered the fried rice. Okay, my meal was nineteen dollars.
Speaker 1: He orders, and again he wasn't trying to be a
Speaker 1: and by sharra that's a Yiddish word for like taking
Speaker 1: advantage guy. He ordered a um a seafood bake. So
Speaker 1: it comes like a giant pot with crab legs. And
Speaker 1: you know, see that's my kind of guy right there, right, potatoes, sausage,
Speaker 1: big thing. Because he wanted that. I'm like, God, no problem,
Speaker 1: not a problem. So when the when the when the
Speaker 1: bill comes, he tells the way that, yeah, just bring
Speaker 1: the check, will split it. Now his was mine was nineteen.
Speaker 1: That's a substantial difference. But I'm not gonna like, go,
Speaker 1: hey man, you need to pay an extra five bucks
Speaker 1: to cover the difference in the I don't. I don't
Speaker 1: get into that. We split the check, We split the tip.
Speaker 1: No problem. Okay. Now, when we go to the parking garage.
Speaker 1: I have now overpaid for dinner. I make a decision
Speaker 1: in my to myself. I no longer have to chip
Speaker 1: in for parking. Am I wrong? You're wrong? Really? And
Speaker 1: and then you wonder why we never hang out. This
Speaker 1: is exactly it right here, This is exactly why we
Speaker 1: never hang out because I don't because your friend Jeff. Really,
Speaker 1: that's why we don't hang out, because we're not gonna
Speaker 1: overpay and then pay for because you know what, next
Speaker 1: time I might overpay it all evens itself out, does it? Yes?
Speaker 1: So far I go out to dinner with the guy
Speaker 1: once a week to two out of three weeks. It
Speaker 1: hasn't over Yeah I have. I haven't gotten the benefit
Speaker 1: of the page. Next time, you fucking order the lobster
Speaker 1: thermidor and you make sure that's right, you should, and
Speaker 1: then he's gonna go, oh, you have another. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: change my order from a burger. I'll have that too.
Speaker 1: There's no winning. We've talked about this at nauseam. I
Speaker 1: told you about my my friends copp retirement party and
Speaker 1: the whole table of guys in the background we're ordering
Speaker 1: bottles of whiskey from the secret table in the corner. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then we all got stuck with the bill. That's
Speaker 1: what happens when you go out with a group, That's
Speaker 1: what happens. So everybody just fucking jump in and just
Speaker 1: order the good ship, have a night out. Okay, But
Speaker 1: I but I had already ordered my shrimp fried rice.
Speaker 1: You get him next time you suck him. Next time
Speaker 1: you get him, you'll get a funk him. I still
Speaker 1: have to pay more than I want, and I want
Speaker 1: to overorder just for the sake of So I'm all,
Speaker 1: I'm renaming the segment. It's called I'm Not Wrong. That's
Speaker 1: the new name. It's like, no, no, it's You're wrong. No, No,
Speaker 1: The segment is I'm not wrong. Don't tell me I'm wrong.
Speaker 1: I'm not wrong. You're wrong. That's it. You don't want
Speaker 1: to hear it any other because I wanted you to
Speaker 1: like agree with me. I know what you wanted, but
Speaker 1: I don't agree with you. Okay. So if I took
Speaker 1: the meal out of it, If he chooses to go
Speaker 1: in the parking garage and I said there's a meter
Speaker 1: over there, he drove so he gets to the side
Speaker 1: where he wants to park. If it involves a garage.
Speaker 1: You do the right thing and you pay for the garage.
Speaker 1: And that is separate from dinner. That has nothing to
Speaker 1: the garage. If we went into Manhattan, if he drove
Speaker 1: into Manhattan, I would pay for tolls in garage. The
Speaker 1: thing is, you're running a tap on the entire night.
Speaker 1: You gotta take each item individually. That that's what I did.
Speaker 1: And the garage. I said, park on the street. He said,
Speaker 1: now go on the garage, because he knew I would
Speaker 1: probably get stuck having to pay for the garage. You drive,
Speaker 1: I'd pay for tolls and I'd pay for parking. That's
Speaker 1: how that works. If we were in my car, he
Speaker 1: would not have said, but that has nothing to do
Speaker 1: with dinner. See there's a wall up there. And then
Speaker 1: the next I was already leaning on not my problem
Speaker 1: with the garage, because he chose it. I was already
Speaker 1: like leaning towards not my problem. But then the meal
Speaker 1: set me off. Option had he not parked in the garage,
Speaker 1: it was a spot like, you know, like maybe thirty
Speaker 1: forty yards away, there was a spot. We gotta walked
Speaker 1: a little bit. Plus you know, he likes to protect
Speaker 1: his car. He's like, now I'm going I'm gonna put
Speaker 1: my car's his prerogative. He's driving, it's his car, he's
Speaker 1: he's in charge. You can worry about that. I'm just
Speaker 1: saying I don't like this segment anymore. I'm don't like it.
Speaker 1: That doesn be a good Segmentually, I kind of like
Speaker 1: this segment. No, don't like. I think we're gonna do
Speaker 1: another one next week. Damn it. I'll tell you. You
Speaker 1: know who doesn't like for days and water shooting on
Speaker 1: their ask Guys from Cook Boys m