1 00:00:00,760 --> 00:00:02,560 Speaker 1: Tell our story to the world. We want the world 2 00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:04,360 Speaker 1: to know we exist and we don't want to die. 3 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:11,120 Speaker 2: Granddaughter of legendary oceanographer Jacques Cousteau, Seline Cousteau isn't just following. 4 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:11,280 Speaker 3: In his wake. 5 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:13,440 Speaker 2: She's creating her own current. 6 00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:17,080 Speaker 1: So there was never this rejection of the family legacy 7 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:20,240 Speaker 1: or going towards it. It just all naturally fell together. 8 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:23,319 Speaker 2: From the depths of the Amazon to the backwoods of 9 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:27,560 Speaker 2: North Carolina. She's living a life of purpose, service and 10 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:28,440 Speaker 2: deep connection. 11 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:30,880 Speaker 1: So it's not just about doing the film. It's about 12 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:33,480 Speaker 1: earning to do the film, and it's about getting knocked 13 00:00:33,479 --> 00:00:34,519 Speaker 1: down standing back. 14 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:39,080 Speaker 2: Up explorer, filmmaker, activist, telling stories from the edge of 15 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:39,520 Speaker 2: the world. 16 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:41,159 Speaker 1: She was bitten by a pit viper, which is a 17 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:44,680 Speaker 1: highly venomous snake. We're fifteen hours minimum by boat from anything. 18 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:48,400 Speaker 2: Join hosts Martin Luther King the Third, Andrea Waters, King, 19 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:52,960 Speaker 2: Mark Kilberger, and Cranik Kilberger for a conversation about identity 20 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:56,560 Speaker 2: impact and the moments that show us who we are. 21 00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:59,240 Speaker 1: What's happening for me in my brain in that moment 22 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,640 Speaker 1: is I don't I won't have time to worry your panic. 23 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:03,360 Speaker 1: I have time to figure it out. 24 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:11,080 Speaker 4: Welcome to My Legacy Today we have the privilege of 25 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:18,840 Speaker 4: sitting down with Selene Cousteau, a globally recognized explorer, documentary filmmaker, author, environmentalist, 26 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:23,160 Speaker 4: and our collective friend. As the granddaughter of legendary oceanographer 27 00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:28,120 Speaker 4: Jacques Cousteau, Selene has carried forward a profound legacy, but 28 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:31,320 Speaker 4: in her own unique and powerful way. And what, of course, 29 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:33,720 Speaker 4: you know, makes My Legacy Podcast so special is we 30 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:37,080 Speaker 4: don't just hear from extraordinary individuals. We hear from the 31 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:41,680 Speaker 4: remarkable people who know them best. So Selene, so grateful 32 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:43,280 Speaker 4: that you joined all of us, and would you start 33 00:01:43,319 --> 00:01:45,639 Speaker 4: off by telling us who you brought today and sharing 34 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:47,760 Speaker 4: what makes them so important in your life? 35 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:51,040 Speaker 1: Oh, thank you for having me here. I brought my 36 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:56,360 Speaker 1: friend Ian Hackett. Professionally, he's just an amazing marketer, branding professional, 37 00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:59,840 Speaker 1: elevating companies and businesses. But what he really does is 38 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:03,200 Speaker 1: in good people into those business and elevate them to 39 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:07,360 Speaker 1: their full potential. He is, Yeah, he's a golden unicorn. 40 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:10,800 Speaker 1: Such a dear friend, just a caring heart and a 41 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:13,960 Speaker 1: really kind person who really just wants the world around 42 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:16,720 Speaker 1: him to be a better place. He's the son of 43 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:20,800 Speaker 1: immigrants raised in California, And yeah, it stands for a 44 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:23,080 Speaker 1: lot of really good things. So that's who I like 45 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:24,040 Speaker 1: to surround myself with. 46 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:26,560 Speaker 4: Well, I love that you have brought a dear friend 47 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:27,640 Speaker 4: to join you today. 48 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:28,080 Speaker 3: Thank you. 49 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:29,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, my pleasure. 50 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:32,040 Speaker 4: So let's go back to the origin and we are 51 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:34,840 Speaker 4: all shaped by what came before us, and of course 52 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:38,440 Speaker 4: for the blessing and the challenge. A name like Cousteau 53 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:43,160 Speaker 4: carries your grandfather iconic, and can you share with us 54 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:45,600 Speaker 4: what was it like growing up with him and what 55 00:02:45,639 --> 00:02:47,000 Speaker 4: was it like growing up a Cousto. 56 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:49,720 Speaker 1: Well, I didn't realize what Coustou meant to the world 57 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:53,120 Speaker 1: until I was about nine. The moment I realized that 58 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:55,560 Speaker 1: my family was public as I was walking through the 59 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:58,760 Speaker 1: Oceanographic Museum of Monaco with my grandfather holding his hand, 60 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:02,200 Speaker 1: and a group of tourists came in and approached him 61 00:03:02,639 --> 00:03:04,600 Speaker 1: and asked him for an autograph, And I remember the 62 00:03:04,639 --> 00:03:06,440 Speaker 1: moment he let go of my hand to sign an 63 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:09,520 Speaker 1: autograph and I went, wait, hold on a second, who 64 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:14,600 Speaker 1: are these people? But growing up and as an adult 65 00:03:14,639 --> 00:03:16,800 Speaker 1: and being able to travel around the world and do 66 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:19,320 Speaker 1: the work that I do and hearing people say, oh, 67 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:21,720 Speaker 1: I grew up with your grandfather. When I was in 68 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:24,560 Speaker 1: Honduras and we know there was fighting in the streets, 69 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:26,160 Speaker 1: we would come home to be safe and there was 70 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:29,320 Speaker 1: one show on on Monday night at seven pm and 71 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:31,640 Speaker 1: it would take us away from all of the strife 72 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:33,880 Speaker 1: that was outside our doors. Or oh, I grew up 73 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,839 Speaker 1: with your grandfather, so I learned how to dive where 74 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:39,400 Speaker 1: I became a biologist. And taking my grandfather out of 75 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:42,320 Speaker 1: that story, we all have that potential and that for 76 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:44,640 Speaker 1: me is really the key to the story is not 77 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:48,360 Speaker 1: that he was the better known person. It's all the 78 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:51,040 Speaker 1: people whose lives he touched through the work that he 79 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:55,680 Speaker 1: did and seeing that nobody does anything alone, so we 80 00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:58,000 Speaker 1: have to give credit for all the people that enabled 81 00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:00,960 Speaker 1: him to do his work. Is that, you know, much 82 00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:04,360 Speaker 1: like an iceberg, he was what you saw, but below 83 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:07,080 Speaker 1: the surface you have the ninety percent, and that ninety 84 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:10,760 Speaker 1: percent really to honor and celebrate that is important. It 85 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:14,920 Speaker 1: was my grandmother who was key in making my grandfather's 86 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:18,400 Speaker 1: career what it was. My mom was an expedition photographer 87 00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:21,120 Speaker 1: for thirteen years. My father did production in the field 88 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:23,400 Speaker 1: and then not to mention all of the crew and 89 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,920 Speaker 1: all the scientists and the engineers that made it possible. 90 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:30,400 Speaker 5: Well, let's give a moment to honor your grandmother, because 91 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:34,159 Speaker 5: you just said that she was really the force behind 92 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:37,520 Speaker 5: your grandfather. Can you just tell us a little bit 93 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:39,560 Speaker 5: about what do you mean by that. 94 00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:44,640 Speaker 1: So, my grandmother was the daughter of a navy admiral 95 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:47,520 Speaker 1: and she wanted to be on the oceans, but at 96 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:50,920 Speaker 1: that time, women weren't in the navy. So she met 97 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:54,520 Speaker 1: a handsome young man who wanted to be on the 98 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:58,240 Speaker 1: oceans too. And when they married, you know, at that 99 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:01,160 Speaker 1: time you received all the silver, the things for your wedding. 100 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:06,680 Speaker 1: She hawked everything to rebuild the boat so that they 101 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:10,080 Speaker 1: could sail. And yeah, and she didn't tell him these 102 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:12,000 Speaker 1: are the things that she did. She was just like, 103 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:13,400 Speaker 1: this is what I'm doing. 104 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,520 Speaker 4: I oh, yeah. 105 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:18,119 Speaker 1: There's a great story of her actually saving the ship 106 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:22,159 Speaker 1: in a storm. So all of the crew went onto land, 107 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:24,640 Speaker 1: they had important meetings, and she's like, no, I live 108 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:27,040 Speaker 1: on the boat. This is my life, this is my home. 109 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:29,720 Speaker 1: So she stayed on the boat and then a massive 110 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:33,000 Speaker 1: storm came in and anchor ripped. She didn't know how 111 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,800 Speaker 1: to navigate the boat, but she knew what to do, 112 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:38,720 Speaker 1: and she took the boat into the storm so that 113 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:41,120 Speaker 1: she could get through it faster, because she knew that 114 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:43,839 Speaker 1: was the way forward, and in doing so, she saved 115 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:48,480 Speaker 1: the boat. When in life we're faced with really big issues, 116 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:51,280 Speaker 1: sometimes going into the storm is the way forward. I 117 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:53,640 Speaker 1: was told it's what bison do. Cows run away from 118 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:55,640 Speaker 1: the storm. Bison move into the storm to go through 119 00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:56,080 Speaker 1: it faster. 120 00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:57,279 Speaker 6: Wow, what a. 121 00:05:57,279 --> 00:05:58,440 Speaker 1: Metay, that's who she was. 122 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:01,279 Speaker 5: Go into the storm, went to the storm a storm, 123 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 5: Go into the storm's women. 124 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:07,440 Speaker 1: Yes, love that we need to be courageous, don't be fearful. 125 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:10,360 Speaker 7: Yes, Sleen. When you were young, you spent some time 126 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:13,120 Speaker 7: in the Amazon with your grandfather, Jacques Custeau. What was 127 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:15,000 Speaker 7: that experience like and what did you learn. 128 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:18,440 Speaker 1: My mom was off on a team, already in the 129 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:22,080 Speaker 1: jungle doing her work. My father was on a raft 130 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:25,039 Speaker 1: with my brother doing their thing, And I got to 131 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:27,040 Speaker 1: fly down with my grandfather and spent a couple of 132 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:30,560 Speaker 1: weeks aboard and be in the midst of this jungle. 133 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:35,120 Speaker 1: When you're little, you feel little right because you see 134 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:38,840 Speaker 1: things from a different angle. And for me, it's important 135 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:41,560 Speaker 1: to carry that forward into adulthood because we are tiny, 136 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,440 Speaker 1: but we are so important. So something that my grandfather, 137 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:47,000 Speaker 1: Jacques Custau taught me is, if you don't know how 138 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:50,560 Speaker 1: to do something, surround yourself with people who know. If 139 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:53,200 Speaker 1: you are a visionaryan a creative and you have an idea, 140 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:56,360 Speaker 1: find the people that will work with you and who 141 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:58,960 Speaker 1: also have that similar dream and who will be fulfilled 142 00:06:59,200 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 1: in taking part in it. 143 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:04,520 Speaker 5: And Ian, could you please share one thing that people 144 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:08,479 Speaker 5: would be surprised to know about, dear Selene. 145 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:15,679 Speaker 8: Yes, maybe it's like one and a half things, because 146 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:19,760 Speaker 8: it's Selene. There can't just be one thing Selene. Selene 147 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:24,520 Speaker 8: is an excellent dim Sum partner. I didn't see that 148 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:28,080 Speaker 8: one coming because you didn't. You wouldn't because she's the 149 00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:30,480 Speaker 8: thing is because she's open to new things and she's 150 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:34,840 Speaker 8: but she has absolute terrible poker face. So a great 151 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:38,720 Speaker 8: dim Sum partner, absolute terrible poker face. When she was 152 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:40,760 Speaker 8: last in San Francisco, a few of us got together. 153 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:43,440 Speaker 8: We went to dim Sum and as the cards are 154 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:46,440 Speaker 8: bustling around and the baskets of steaming joy were being 155 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:49,720 Speaker 8: placed on the table, I mentioned how my grandmother lived 156 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:51,640 Speaker 8: to be one hundred and four and the family believed 157 00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:54,040 Speaker 8: that it was because she chicken feed every day, and 158 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:58,400 Speaker 8: I noticed Selene's nose grunshaw, so of course I immediately bought 159 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:02,560 Speaker 8: a basket of chicken feed. And because she's Selene and 160 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,360 Speaker 8: willing to step into the unknown, she gave it a shot. 161 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:09,280 Speaker 8: To her credit, she's a very good sport about it. However, 162 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:12,880 Speaker 8: sometime later a package arrived at my door. It was 163 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:16,200 Speaker 8: a package of preserved chicken feet. So I think she 164 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:19,360 Speaker 8: got back of me in a very loving way to 165 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:23,360 Speaker 8: tell me like, yeah, I got you. But the real 166 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,320 Speaker 8: reason I bring this up is he has to poke 167 00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:28,760 Speaker 8: fun at her because it's part of the joy. But 168 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:33,960 Speaker 8: I think that it represents who Selene is. She meets 169 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:36,920 Speaker 8: people where they are, and she's willing to step into 170 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:41,160 Speaker 8: discomfort and curiosity and new experiences, not just with food 171 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:44,199 Speaker 8: but with people. Thank you. 172 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:46,800 Speaker 4: I I love the metaphor, by the way, about dim 173 00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:49,080 Speaker 4: sum for life no sincerely, like we never wants coming 174 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:51,160 Speaker 4: at us, but we're willing to be adventurous. There's like 175 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:52,800 Speaker 4: a book title there somewhere. 176 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:57,040 Speaker 5: And Ian now you mentioned your grandmother. I love the 177 00:08:57,080 --> 00:09:00,200 Speaker 5: story about the chicken feet. Let me tell you brought 178 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:04,319 Speaker 5: me back to my childhood because if you grew up 179 00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:08,319 Speaker 5: in the South and you went into a small country 180 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:13,120 Speaker 5: store in the fifties, sixties, and seventies, you most likely 181 00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:17,560 Speaker 5: there would be a big jar pickled pigs feed. And 182 00:09:17,679 --> 00:09:21,360 Speaker 5: I'm sure a lot of our listeners remembered pickles, pickled 183 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:23,760 Speaker 5: picks feed, so the chicken feed. It just it was 184 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:27,680 Speaker 5: very funny. But obviously your your grandmother was a very 185 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,760 Speaker 5: strong woman. That's something that you and Selene have in common. 186 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:33,640 Speaker 5: What are some things that you would like to share 187 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,040 Speaker 5: about her and her legacy. 188 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,840 Speaker 8: She was born in Santaese, California, in nineteen oh six, 189 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:42,440 Speaker 8: just before the big earthquake. She grew up here. My 190 00:09:42,559 --> 00:09:45,800 Speaker 8: grandfather came over from China and they got married and 191 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:49,959 Speaker 8: they went back to China to have a family, and 192 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:55,160 Speaker 8: she raised seven six seven kids. There's actually seven, but 193 00:09:55,240 --> 00:10:00,880 Speaker 8: only six survived. And you know, at some point she 194 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:04,360 Speaker 8: joined the you know libert the Chinese Liberation Army, and 195 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:08,080 Speaker 8: she fought for freedom for you know, her her community. 196 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:11,000 Speaker 8: And there's a picture of her with a rifle on 197 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:15,000 Speaker 8: her hip and I just you know, looking back and 198 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:17,280 Speaker 8: and being the age I am now, I'm like, wait, 199 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:20,480 Speaker 8: you had six kids and the husband, and she rolls 200 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:23,360 Speaker 8: of fighting in a war, and it just amazes me 201 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:26,160 Speaker 8: as the strength and the resilience that she had. And 202 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:29,240 Speaker 8: she eventually brought the family back to the United States 203 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:33,160 Speaker 8: for safety in her words of better life. And she 204 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:37,120 Speaker 8: never lost the spark, she never lost her spirit, She 205 00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:41,040 Speaker 8: never she didn't take slack for anyone. So she she 206 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:46,040 Speaker 8: just this amazing model in my life of resilience and 207 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:48,520 Speaker 8: being kind. I would go see her if I was 208 00:10:48,559 --> 00:10:50,520 Speaker 8: traveling for work to New York, who lived in State 209 00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:53,280 Speaker 8: New York, and I would go see her, and I'd 210 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,120 Speaker 8: walk in and there would just be this beaming light 211 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:58,120 Speaker 8: on her face. And you know, unless, you know, unless 212 00:10:58,160 --> 00:10:59,840 Speaker 8: Jeopardy was on, and then it was a game of her. 213 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,079 Speaker 8: There is nothing. No one else in the room could compete. 214 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:05,920 Speaker 5: I just love these too, these very too strong women 215 00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:10,480 Speaker 5: in your grandmother's and particularly like when so many girls 216 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:14,080 Speaker 5: and women are continually told to, you know, to be small, 217 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:18,800 Speaker 5: play small, or still not fully acknowledged even historically. Again, 218 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:20,720 Speaker 5: one of the things I'm taking from the day is 219 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:24,600 Speaker 5: be the storm, Go into the storm. Go into the storm. 220 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:31,320 Speaker 9: Selene, You've said that your family didn't push you or 221 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:35,440 Speaker 9: necessarily encourage or discourage you to be involved in the 222 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:39,800 Speaker 9: work that you're involved in. What is it that causes 223 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,040 Speaker 9: you not just to wake up every day and be 224 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:47,360 Speaker 9: excited about embarking upon magnificent change, but what is it 225 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:52,240 Speaker 9: that causes that caused you to initially say this is 226 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:53,920 Speaker 9: what I want to do, this is what I know 227 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:54,920 Speaker 9: every day. 228 00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:58,280 Speaker 1: So going back, I studied psychology. I was interested in 229 00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:00,680 Speaker 1: human behavior. Why are we the way we are? Why 230 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,960 Speaker 1: in one household two people can be so different, why 231 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:05,000 Speaker 1: is it that we behave towards each other the way 232 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:09,040 Speaker 1: we do? And how can we help people heal? Fast forward, 233 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:13,080 Speaker 1: I worked in tourism and travel, doing production and logistics, 234 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:16,840 Speaker 1: and while I was doing that, my father was preparing 235 00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:20,320 Speaker 1: a series for PBS called Ocean Adventures. Well, working on 236 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:23,160 Speaker 1: documentary films or in tourism, production and logistics is production 237 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,120 Speaker 1: and logistics. So I said, hey, if you need help, 238 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:27,800 Speaker 1: I'm happy to do some of the logistics for this. 239 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:30,280 Speaker 1: At the time, they were filming the gray whale migration 240 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:34,640 Speaker 1: from Baja California up to Barrow, Alaska, and so I 241 00:12:34,679 --> 00:12:38,079 Speaker 1: stepped in to do logistics, thinking that's all I was 242 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:40,520 Speaker 1: going to do, and then my father couldn't show up 243 00:12:40,559 --> 00:12:42,160 Speaker 1: from one of the interviews, and so they put me 244 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:44,080 Speaker 1: in front of the camera and said, can you interview 245 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:46,800 Speaker 1: the whale scientists. I'm like, I don't know anything about Cetasha, 246 00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:51,240 Speaker 1: but because I have this innate curiosity of all things, 247 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:53,960 Speaker 1: and not just because the subject is interesting, but because 248 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:56,680 Speaker 1: it's interesting to the person I'm talking to, because that 249 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:59,199 Speaker 1: gets at the heart of who they are. And I 250 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:02,880 Speaker 1: found myself in Baro, Alaska, in the middle of the Arctic. 251 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,679 Speaker 1: I'm not a cold weather person going I love this. 252 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:08,800 Speaker 1: I love being in nature, always have. I love being 253 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:11,800 Speaker 1: out in the elements. I love understanding and hearing people. 254 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:14,520 Speaker 1: But it has so much more value when I get 255 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:16,800 Speaker 1: to bring it back and share it. And so it 256 00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:20,120 Speaker 1: brought me back to the documentary filming side of things 257 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:25,320 Speaker 1: inadvertently in a way. So there was never this rejection 258 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:28,880 Speaker 1: of the family legacy or going towards it. It just 259 00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:30,120 Speaker 1: all naturally fell together. 260 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:34,520 Speaker 4: Scrolling won't change your life, but subscribing just might tap 261 00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:37,440 Speaker 4: that button and stay connected to conversations that can't. 262 00:13:42,679 --> 00:13:44,800 Speaker 3: Now back to my legacy, seeing. 263 00:13:44,559 --> 00:13:49,760 Speaker 7: You've talked a lot about the intersection between nature and humanity, 264 00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:52,120 Speaker 7: and we're all truly connected and One of the reasons 265 00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:56,360 Speaker 7: we're so disconnected is because the lack of connection between 266 00:13:56,679 --> 00:13:59,600 Speaker 7: humanity and nature. Can you explain that to us? 267 00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:02,920 Speaker 1: What I have seen a lot and some of the 268 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,800 Speaker 1: reading that I have done, is that our disconnect with 269 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:08,839 Speaker 1: nature leads to a disconnect with self. We can look 270 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:12,280 Speaker 1: at neuroscience, for example, when kids have more access to nature, 271 00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:15,600 Speaker 1: they're more regulated. When people have more access to plants, 272 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:18,880 Speaker 1: they're more efficient at their jobs. So as we have 273 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:22,720 Speaker 1: retreated from nature and closed ourselves in these amazing climate 274 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:27,040 Speaker 1: controlled environments because we are creative humans, right, we have 275 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:29,720 Speaker 1: distance ourselves from our true human nature, which is that 276 00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:32,800 Speaker 1: we are part of nature. When we bring that nature 277 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:35,160 Speaker 1: back in and I mean that even just a plant 278 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:38,360 Speaker 1: in your office, we start to make those connections, But 279 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:39,960 Speaker 1: we need a deeper connection with self. 280 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:43,160 Speaker 7: First, se Lehn, you said that the work you did 281 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:46,800 Speaker 7: with Tribes on the Edge, that amazing documentary you brought 282 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:49,880 Speaker 7: into the world, was one of the most important contributions 283 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:52,400 Speaker 7: you've made. Tell us about Tribes on the Edge and 284 00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:54,920 Speaker 7: why was it so important for you to tell that story. 285 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:57,520 Speaker 1: So, Tribes on the Edge is a documentary film that 286 00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:00,200 Speaker 1: was created at the request of the indigenous people in 287 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:03,960 Speaker 1: the Javari indigenous territory in Brazil. I met them on 288 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:06,720 Speaker 1: a different documentary and they reached back out to me 289 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:08,440 Speaker 1: and said, we want you to come back and tell 290 00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:10,320 Speaker 1: our story to the world. We want the world to 291 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,120 Speaker 1: know we exist and we don't want to die. That's 292 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:18,080 Speaker 1: not a light request. What I have learned intensely through 293 00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:20,640 Speaker 1: this whole project. First of all, to be asked for 294 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:25,680 Speaker 1: help is an honor, because it's very difficult for some people, 295 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:28,960 Speaker 1: including myself, to ask for help, so it's a real 296 00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:32,680 Speaker 1: sign of deep trust. It Also, it took me seven 297 00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:35,560 Speaker 1: years to do the documentary film between filming and post production, 298 00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:38,360 Speaker 1: because I wanted to do it independently. I didn't want 299 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:40,480 Speaker 1: to sell the story. I didn't want somebody else to 300 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:44,320 Speaker 1: edit it and to what they believed should be shared 301 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:47,000 Speaker 1: or what the audience might want. I wanted to honor 302 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,960 Speaker 1: the voices of the people who trusted me to share it. 303 00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:53,680 Speaker 1: And my conviction in doing that was tested over and 304 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:56,680 Speaker 1: over again. And I say that because I feel like 305 00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:58,960 Speaker 1: I got knocked down because it took me seven years 306 00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:02,320 Speaker 1: to make it. I did independent, unsustainably, piecemeal, out of pocket, 307 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:06,000 Speaker 1: not highly recommended to do a documentary that way, but 308 00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,880 Speaker 1: that's what I needed to do. And through that whole process, 309 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:12,120 Speaker 1: I realized it's not just about doing the film, it's 310 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:15,600 Speaker 1: about earning to do the film, and it's about getting 311 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:17,960 Speaker 1: knocked down, standing back up and going no. I believe 312 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,880 Speaker 1: in this. This is what I meant to do. This, 313 00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:22,640 Speaker 1: this is for me, and I can do this, stand 314 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:25,760 Speaker 1: back up and go again. I've learned so many lessons 315 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:28,560 Speaker 1: in the jungle with them Beto Maruba, who said to me, 316 00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:30,760 Speaker 1: you know, Selene, hurrying in the jungle is a waste 317 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:31,120 Speaker 1: of time. 318 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:32,720 Speaker 8: Wow. 319 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:36,600 Speaker 1: And I look at our lives in our cities, and 320 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:39,920 Speaker 1: I'm in the mountains of western North Carolina and somebody there, 321 00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:43,040 Speaker 1: as we're walking around post hurricane said, you know, trying 322 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:44,560 Speaker 1: to hurry in the mountains is a waste of time. 323 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:47,960 Speaker 1: And I was, where have I heard that before? So 324 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:51,560 Speaker 1: I've learned to slow down, which anybody who knows mean 325 00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:55,480 Speaker 1: includeed knows like slowing down is not what comes naturally 326 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:58,760 Speaker 1: to me. And yet I still get more done, and 327 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,800 Speaker 1: I do it more peacefully and do it more deeply. 328 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,080 Speaker 1: So that project, I know it has brought me as 329 00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:08,879 Speaker 1: much as I've given it, and it has longevity beyond 330 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:11,760 Speaker 1: what I could have imagined, because what's sprung from it 331 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:15,680 Speaker 1: is an initiative to bring tangible support back to them. 332 00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:19,080 Speaker 1: So we're working to bring anti venom because it's one 333 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:22,320 Speaker 1: of the biggest problems they have there outside of a 334 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:25,159 Speaker 1: lot of the illegal activities. And we've created an education 335 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:28,159 Speaker 1: curriculum that was inspired by what they can teach us. 336 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:30,240 Speaker 4: I want to go further and actually the incredible work 337 00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:32,440 Speaker 4: that you're doing there. You reference this and I think 338 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:34,199 Speaker 4: for most of our listeners or watchers that go, oh, 339 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:37,600 Speaker 4: anti venom, but like, this is a real an incredible 340 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:40,359 Speaker 4: life or death reality, and can you actually share a 341 00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:41,000 Speaker 4: little bit about the. 342 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:43,879 Speaker 3: Pit viper. 343 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,760 Speaker 1: So what we're referring to is on our first of 344 00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:49,920 Speaker 1: three expeditions filming, I brought an anthropologist. We were going 345 00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:52,080 Speaker 1: to the Matist tribe. She had lived with them and 346 00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:56,680 Speaker 1: spoke their language. And we went into the village and 347 00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:59,159 Speaker 1: she had lived there. She knows what it's like. But 348 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:03,159 Speaker 1: we went to bathe just at dusk. Don't bathe at 349 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:06,280 Speaker 1: dusk in that jungle. We were down by the river. 350 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:08,560 Speaker 1: She came down later and as she's walking down to 351 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:12,080 Speaker 1: the river, she screams, snake a snake bit me. So 352 00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:14,320 Speaker 1: she was bitten by a pit viper, which is a 353 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:17,240 Speaker 1: highly venomous snake. It is the beginning of the night 354 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,960 Speaker 1: in the middle of the jungle, where fifteen hours minimum 355 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:25,119 Speaker 1: by boat from anything. We don't have everything that we 356 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:26,800 Speaker 1: need to get out, right. We don't have a helicopter, 357 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:30,920 Speaker 1: we don't have all of those life saying being devices. Luckily, 358 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:34,280 Speaker 1: there was a nurse station in that village. He the 359 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:38,280 Speaker 1: person that was there attending to healthcare, had anti venom 360 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:42,679 Speaker 1: administered two vials of anti venom. Meanwhile, so now I 361 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:46,440 Speaker 1: have my this is my team, right, these are my decisions. 362 00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:49,040 Speaker 1: I have to just get into fix it mode. So 363 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:52,920 Speaker 1: I'm there trying to soothe her. She's speaking rapidly. She's 364 00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:55,680 Speaker 1: obviously very stressed and nervous because we don't know what's 365 00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:58,640 Speaker 1: going to happen. So I start slowing my breathing down. 366 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:02,680 Speaker 1: I'm rubbing her back, and I'm saying, Barbara, I really 367 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:07,960 Speaker 1: need you to stop talking and slow down. And this 368 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:11,119 Speaker 1: is exactly the pace I start speaking to her. And 369 00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:13,520 Speaker 1: then I say, Matt, can you go get the satellite 370 00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:16,960 Speaker 1: phone please? And then I'm talking to the nurse and 371 00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:19,200 Speaker 1: what's happening for me in my brain in that moment 372 00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:22,199 Speaker 1: is I don't have time to worry or panic. I 373 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:25,000 Speaker 1: have time to figure it out, and that's it. I 374 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:29,680 Speaker 1: go into super focus mode in moments of urgency. Then 375 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:32,199 Speaker 1: I look at her and I say, Barbara, would you 376 00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:35,840 Speaker 1: be okay if we filmed this? Because I also have 377 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:39,000 Speaker 1: my director hat on of like, yeah, this is truth. 378 00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:41,160 Speaker 1: This is a moment that we can share with people 379 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:44,120 Speaker 1: where they understand the dangers that these people face every day. 380 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:48,239 Speaker 1: Just happens to be somebody from my team. We use 381 00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:50,600 Speaker 1: the satellite phone, we call I try to get a 382 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:55,760 Speaker 1: helicopter rescue and we get denied and I say, well, 383 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:57,800 Speaker 1: we're happy to pay for the fuel or whatever it is. No, 384 00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:02,399 Speaker 1: you don't understand the helicopter is or government officials and 385 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:06,120 Speaker 1: indigenous people only. You entered indigenous land on your own. 386 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:08,960 Speaker 1: You're on your own. This helicopter is not for you. 387 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:13,040 Speaker 1: I have to go back to Barbara and say I'm sorry, Barbara, 388 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:19,520 Speaker 1: you're not the right person for a metavac so and 389 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:22,359 Speaker 1: I get really emotional when I talk about this. I 390 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:27,720 Speaker 1: am so grateful. Ay, she's alive, she's okay. I'm so 391 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:32,280 Speaker 1: grateful for the opportunity to feel, not here not tell 392 00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:35,240 Speaker 1: the story, but to feel what it's like for somebody 393 00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:37,800 Speaker 1: from my family to be told their life is worth 394 00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:41,600 Speaker 1: less than somebody else's. I don't wish it on anyone, 395 00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:45,240 Speaker 1: but as far as understanding and empathy is concerned, to 396 00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:47,480 Speaker 1: be able to go back to somebody from my team 397 00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:50,360 Speaker 1: and say, there's a solution to save you, but it's 398 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:50,760 Speaker 1: not for. 399 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:52,840 Speaker 6: You, so. 400 00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:56,800 Speaker 1: I'll fast forward to the end. Like I said, she's okay. 401 00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:00,639 Speaker 1: But what that lesson taught me is it's to be 402 00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:03,760 Speaker 1: able to stand in the shoes of somebody and actually 403 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:06,399 Speaker 1: fully feel it and understand it. It is now forever. 404 00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:09,119 Speaker 1: Like I my body right now is reacting one hundred 405 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:13,159 Speaker 1: percent to that fear and to that anxiety that she 406 00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:16,000 Speaker 1: could have died even though there was a solution for her. 407 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:21,679 Speaker 5: Your leading an expedition, you had a team that was 408 00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:26,919 Speaker 5: depending upon you. You had a team member at this 409 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,960 Speaker 5: point that was it was a matter of life and death. 410 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:38,760 Speaker 5: What leadership qualities did that awaken in you or bring 411 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:42,840 Speaker 5: forward in you that you're that you carried forward. 412 00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:45,240 Speaker 1: I think what it did is it confirmed something I 413 00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:48,199 Speaker 1: didn't know is that I could I could figure it 414 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:51,199 Speaker 1: out and that there was no room for doubt in 415 00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:55,680 Speaker 1: that moment. I had also done a wilderness first responder 416 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:59,359 Speaker 1: course because I used to rock climb and accidents happen, 417 00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:01,920 Speaker 1: and so I just wanted to be able to understand 418 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,680 Speaker 1: how to react to certain accidents. And so I went 419 00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:08,400 Speaker 1: into triage mode. And there were two solutions to get 420 00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:11,040 Speaker 1: additional anti venom. One was to send our fast boat 421 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:13,600 Speaker 1: but potentially not have enough fuel the next day to 422 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:16,200 Speaker 1: get the entire team out, and we were going through 423 00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:20,160 Speaker 1: uncontacted indigenous territory so we couldn't stop. Or I would 424 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:23,960 Speaker 1: send the slow boat risking getting the additional anti venom 425 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,440 Speaker 1: too late. But then I had enough fuel to get 426 00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:29,000 Speaker 1: my whole team out the next day. So I also 427 00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:32,480 Speaker 1: had to make that hard decision. What it did is 428 00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:36,439 Speaker 1: it it took. So I'm a highly emotive personal person 429 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,720 Speaker 1: like I just I go right to heart when it 430 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:41,560 Speaker 1: comes to things. I had to get practical in that 431 00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:43,920 Speaker 1: moment and go into a moment of triage and say 432 00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:49,320 Speaker 1: what is the greatest potential outcome. So I had to 433 00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:51,720 Speaker 1: send the slow boat because I needed to get everybody 434 00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:56,480 Speaker 1: out the next day. And that was really a really 435 00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:57,480 Speaker 1: difficult decision. 436 00:22:57,480 --> 00:22:59,040 Speaker 7: To make We're. 437 00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:02,119 Speaker 9: Building something real here, one episode at a time. 438 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:03,800 Speaker 8: If you want to be part. 439 00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:07,720 Speaker 9: Of it, subscribe, it's free, it matters, and we're just 440 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:08,680 Speaker 9: getting started. 441 00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:16,000 Speaker 3: Now back to my legacy. 442 00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:19,120 Speaker 7: So you two first met through an executive leadership workshop 443 00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:22,280 Speaker 7: and you said sale when Ian walked in and you thought, 444 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:26,280 Speaker 7: that's my person, that's my person, which I thought was lovely. 445 00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:29,239 Speaker 7: What was it about Ian that made you recognize that 446 00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:31,000 Speaker 7: instant sense of connection? 447 00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:35,160 Speaker 1: Oh, you know, it's hard to describe. I mean when 448 00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:37,520 Speaker 1: you meet somebody, When you see somebody, don't you go oh, 449 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:39,159 Speaker 1: like your body. 450 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:40,320 Speaker 8: Literally will lean in right. 451 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:44,360 Speaker 1: Your Your body has such incredible intelligence and we are 452 00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:47,760 Speaker 1: forgetting it right. Ourselves have memory. When I have that 453 00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:50,760 Speaker 1: and I lean in towards somebody, I go, that's my person, 454 00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:55,000 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh I knew something before. I knew it intellectually, 455 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:56,879 Speaker 1: before my mind knew it. My heart knows it, my 456 00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:59,800 Speaker 1: body knows it. Right. So when you listen to that 457 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,520 Speaker 1: and you actually see how you react towards people and 458 00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:05,800 Speaker 1: where you lean into, you'll start to surround yourself with 459 00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,480 Speaker 1: those people that actually uplift you and who you uplift. 460 00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:13,080 Speaker 1: Ian is a heart led person. He is walking kindness. 461 00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:16,960 Speaker 1: He is thoughtful, he's generous, and to see that in 462 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,680 Speaker 1: the world of today is like getting a handwritten letter 463 00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:21,800 Speaker 1: on your birthday. Do you know what I mean? 464 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:23,120 Speaker 8: Ian? 465 00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:24,080 Speaker 5: Are you tearing up? 466 00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:25,679 Speaker 1: Don't you didn't know? 467 00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:26,840 Speaker 9: Yes? 468 00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:27,600 Speaker 5: I love that. 469 00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:29,600 Speaker 8: It's too early for you to cry. 470 00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:32,960 Speaker 5: Never for our listeners, they can't see your face, but 471 00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:36,680 Speaker 5: we can. You actually are You're tearing up? That's so beautiful. 472 00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:39,280 Speaker 8: Oh hold it back. 473 00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:41,920 Speaker 1: No, See, this is the thing, This is the thing 474 00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:44,480 Speaker 1: about people you love. Is just like, why don't we 475 00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:46,679 Speaker 1: do this more? Why don't we tell people what we 476 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:47,240 Speaker 1: see in them? 477 00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:47,439 Speaker 9: Right? 478 00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:49,199 Speaker 1: Why does it take a radio show for us to 479 00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:51,400 Speaker 1: be like, Oh my god, you're so squishy. I love you. 480 00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:55,040 Speaker 7: When you first met Selene, what did your heart tell you? 481 00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:58,159 Speaker 8: When I first met Selene, my heart told me, oh, 482 00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:03,160 Speaker 8: this one's going to be here for a while. Yeah. 483 00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:08,359 Speaker 9: You met Selene at a very difficult chapter in your life. 484 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:12,560 Speaker 9: How did her presence in that moment, her friendship help 485 00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:16,479 Speaker 9: you navigate through that time of your life? 486 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:18,600 Speaker 8: We met up in the up in the mountains of 487 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:20,919 Speaker 8: Colorado and I just got on a plane after a 488 00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:25,119 Speaker 8: conference and I was completely discombobulated, and I rolled in ought, 489 00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:31,040 Speaker 8: and I didn't. I guess I wasn't aware this grief 490 00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:35,480 Speaker 8: was still it was in the grief state. I thought 491 00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:40,040 Speaker 8: maybe it was. I was just, you know, I didn't 492 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:43,560 Speaker 8: know what was going on. And during the first twenty 493 00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:45,760 Speaker 8: four hours forty eight hours of meeting the group and 494 00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:51,400 Speaker 8: experiencing Selene, there was just this openness. There was this 495 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:54,640 Speaker 8: I remember the first time I saw her. I literally 496 00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:57,879 Speaker 8: came in stumbling to the door of my luggage and 497 00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:00,280 Speaker 8: it was very late, and she and like a couple 498 00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:02,160 Speaker 8: of other folks had waited up for me. They didn't 499 00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:04,720 Speaker 8: know who I was. It was very late, and she 500 00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:06,879 Speaker 8: just poked at me and she goes, you, We've been 501 00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:09,480 Speaker 8: waiting for you. And it was just this like disarming 502 00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,679 Speaker 8: moment where I was like, oh, okay, I can I 503 00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:17,600 Speaker 8: can be here. And in that process of having somebody 504 00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:21,600 Speaker 8: wait for you that you didn't know, and someone welcomed 505 00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:27,199 Speaker 8: welcoming you in a way that was just so true, 506 00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:32,399 Speaker 8: I was able to like expose, I let myself share 507 00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:34,800 Speaker 8: the grief that I was in and it was a 508 00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:40,480 Speaker 8: very moving period. It was again nobody start crying, but 509 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:43,680 Speaker 8: it was it was something I didn't know I needed 510 00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,600 Speaker 8: and didn't and it hadn't experienced before in a in 511 00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:48,960 Speaker 8: a setting like that where I didn't know people for 512 00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:51,920 Speaker 8: very long periods of time. And I just think that 513 00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:59,119 Speaker 8: the throughout the weekend of the retreat, she just kept 514 00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:01,879 Speaker 8: checking in. It was just moments I would see her 515 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:04,720 Speaker 8: across the room and see how he was so into 516 00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:09,360 Speaker 8: the conversation she was having with somebody. And yeah, when 517 00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:11,439 Speaker 8: the moments happened, where was she and I were grabbing 518 00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:13,760 Speaker 8: coffee at the same time, and we were chit chatting 519 00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:17,680 Speaker 8: in the in the kitchen. I forgot that I was sad. 520 00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:19,800 Speaker 8: I forgot that there was a hole sitting in my 521 00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:22,520 Speaker 8: in my soul of you know, this for the space 522 00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:26,080 Speaker 8: of grief. And it was just a moment of reprieve 523 00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:29,720 Speaker 8: that I remember in such a space that it was 524 00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:35,359 Speaker 8: so heavy for me. And that last that lasted, and 525 00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:40,640 Speaker 8: you know, after that retreat, group group chats happened, and 526 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:43,960 Speaker 8: one day she just said, can I call you? Because 527 00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:46,960 Speaker 8: your text everyone right, you don't call anyone. And then 528 00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:50,320 Speaker 8: she developed this role, She's like, let's just be call friends. 529 00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,200 Speaker 8: You can call me whenever and I'll call you whenever. 530 00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:54,040 Speaker 8: And I just thought that it was also just another 531 00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:56,520 Speaker 8: you know, and to tame when people text you. I mean, 532 00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:58,320 Speaker 8: my friend texts me like, Hey, can I call you? 533 00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:01,800 Speaker 8: This is so ridiculous, said, so many layers between connection. 534 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,280 Speaker 8: But she kind of just pushed right. It's a sling poke. 535 00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:08,560 Speaker 8: She doesn't push right through it. She gave me, She 536 00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:12,320 Speaker 8: gave me, you know this, this access to call someone 537 00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:15,439 Speaker 8: when I needed them, and it truly has been a 538 00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:17,440 Speaker 8: remarkable friendship. 539 00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:18,119 Speaker 3: Ian. 540 00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:20,160 Speaker 4: Can I just repeat that just for a moment, because 541 00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,000 Speaker 4: I think that was so profound to be a call 542 00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:25,199 Speaker 4: friend Because to your point, we text, we what's up, like, 543 00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:28,360 Speaker 4: we use email, like all these things. But the voice, 544 00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:30,960 Speaker 4: the connection, the conversation. 545 00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:34,000 Speaker 3: I love that. Can we be call friends? And to 546 00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:34,960 Speaker 3: establish that more? 547 00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:37,080 Speaker 4: And I on the subject of call friends, Ian, we 548 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:39,200 Speaker 4: learned that something that Selene helped share with you was 549 00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:42,520 Speaker 4: the power of yes and thinking yes, And so Slain, 550 00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:44,160 Speaker 4: I'm gonna put you on the spot if you don't mind, 551 00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:47,719 Speaker 4: can you share with everyone listening and watching this what 552 00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:50,800 Speaker 4: is yes and thinking that Ian mentioned was so profound 553 00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:52,360 Speaker 4: in his life that you helped open. 554 00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:56,320 Speaker 1: Up to him. So it first happened for me. I 555 00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:59,800 Speaker 1: was doing a neuro feedback training at a place called 556 00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:04,120 Speaker 1: four years of zen out in Seattle, and throughout the 557 00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:06,920 Speaker 1: five days of this narrow feedback training, what kept coming 558 00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:09,880 Speaker 1: back is that I am a yes and person. I 559 00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:13,320 Speaker 1: say yes to the experience, and what else is there? 560 00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:16,440 Speaker 1: Yes to the experience and can I share it? Yes? 561 00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:19,719 Speaker 1: And how is this valuable for other people? It sometimes 562 00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:23,840 Speaker 1: gets me in trouble because it means sometimes I over commit, 563 00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:26,880 Speaker 1: which is something else I'm working on. Is setting really 564 00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:29,040 Speaker 1: high expectations for oneself that you can do more in 565 00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:32,320 Speaker 1: a day than anybody else leads you to disappointment. So 566 00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:35,280 Speaker 1: the yes and also has its limits in terms of 567 00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:40,120 Speaker 1: being realistic. But there was the word butt that came 568 00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:42,959 Speaker 1: in a lot. It comes in a lot of conversations 569 00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:45,600 Speaker 1: with people. I would love to do that, but I'm like, 570 00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:47,200 Speaker 1: well how about I would love to do that and 571 00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:49,720 Speaker 1: let me figure out if I can. And so that's 572 00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:51,840 Speaker 1: a little bit of where we've come to with the 573 00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:53,240 Speaker 1: yes and. 574 00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:53,520 Speaker 3: I love it. 575 00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:59,600 Speaker 5: Yes, you know what I have learned to what I'm 576 00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:04,680 Speaker 5: learning is to do at night a flow list before 577 00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:08,200 Speaker 5: I go to bed, separate than a to do list. Yes, 578 00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:11,200 Speaker 5: So like the flow list is like being in the 579 00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:14,560 Speaker 5: flow or things. And then it's interesting because you get 580 00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:18,080 Speaker 5: more done with aligned action. That way, it's a it's 581 00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:20,880 Speaker 5: a different way of flowing through through all. 582 00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:23,280 Speaker 1: Of that, the to do list is almost like an obligation. 583 00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:25,200 Speaker 1: I mean I would write things down I've already done, 584 00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:26,040 Speaker 1: just so I could check them off. 585 00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:35,400 Speaker 6: Yes, satisfaction, but oh at that statement, you can have 586 00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:37,200 Speaker 6: a lot of honesty for me if you want it 587 00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:37,840 Speaker 6: to totally. 588 00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:39,440 Speaker 8: But the flow. 589 00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:40,920 Speaker 1: What I like about that is it fits in the 590 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:43,960 Speaker 1: value system if you if you truly understand your values, 591 00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:47,480 Speaker 1: your priorities right, and you see where your interests are. 592 00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:49,440 Speaker 1: How much do you talk about things? Where do you share? 593 00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:51,320 Speaker 1: Where do you get excited? Like where do you spend 594 00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:53,840 Speaker 1: your time money whatever it is? And energy? And then 595 00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:55,080 Speaker 1: you actually live within that. 596 00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:59,680 Speaker 5: Yes things are smooth, Yes things have really been. 597 00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:03,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, flowing and then when the storm comes you're like, 598 00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:03,719 Speaker 1: I got this. 599 00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:06,520 Speaker 5: I love talking to a custo about flolowing. 600 00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:09,640 Speaker 4: So any of our listeners have to tune in to 601 00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:15,640 Speaker 4: watch the video versions because Selene were with their hands 602 00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:16,560 Speaker 4: in a beautiful way. 603 00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:19,840 Speaker 5: Well, it's it's so interesting too. What I love about 604 00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:22,960 Speaker 5: this conversation with you and Ian is that there's so 605 00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:28,920 Speaker 5: much conversation now about the challenges of forming relationships and 606 00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:33,480 Speaker 5: deep friendships as adults, and it seems like you all, 607 00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:36,520 Speaker 5: not you all are proof that it can happen. Yeah, 608 00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:41,800 Speaker 5: so obviously there was that instant connection. But what advice, 609 00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:46,680 Speaker 5: if any, would you give our listeners that want to 610 00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:50,040 Speaker 5: develop these meaningful relationships as adults. 611 00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:52,840 Speaker 1: I mean, I would say, first and foremost, like what 612 00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:54,840 Speaker 1: do you care about? What do you want in the world, 613 00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:57,400 Speaker 1: And then go and meet with the groups that have 614 00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:59,760 Speaker 1: those interests and then you start forming that. 615 00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:00,160 Speaker 6: Right. 616 00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:03,080 Speaker 1: If you love salsa dancing, go takes also dancing classes, 617 00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:04,920 Speaker 1: you just might meet a really cool friend. 618 00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:05,400 Speaker 4: Right. 619 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:08,520 Speaker 1: For us, it was this executive retreat and wanting to 620 00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:12,400 Speaker 1: better understand ourselves do the internal healing processes so that 621 00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:16,320 Speaker 1: we could be more effective, efficient humans, but also just happier, 622 00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:20,160 Speaker 1: healthier humans. And then you meet a group of people this, 623 00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:26,200 Speaker 1: this executive retreat, which is called purpose built, is about that, right, 624 00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:28,920 Speaker 1: And so of course I mean and from that we 625 00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:33,120 Speaker 1: call ourselves our heart tribe. Oh we I mean tomorrow 626 00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,720 Speaker 1: I fly to California. Ian's picking me up from the airport, 627 00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:38,640 Speaker 1: and then we go to one of our group's wedding 628 00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:42,000 Speaker 1: celebrations and a small group of us from that executive 629 00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:44,880 Speaker 1: treat are coming together because we get to celebrate each 630 00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:47,280 Speaker 1: other and hang out with you. We love beautiful, So 631 00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:50,440 Speaker 1: they're lifelong friendships. I am one hundred percent in for 632 00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:53,000 Speaker 1: like meeting adult friends. 633 00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:55,200 Speaker 8: Yes, it's the best, It's the. 634 00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:56,640 Speaker 3: Best, Selane. 635 00:32:56,680 --> 00:33:01,000 Speaker 9: There's a lot of hopelessness in our name and world. 636 00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:02,800 Speaker 9: How do you find hope? 637 00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:06,880 Speaker 1: I think it's a choice to not step into the hopelessness. 638 00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:09,680 Speaker 1: A lot of what us out there right now is 639 00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:13,120 Speaker 1: meant to create chaos and fear, because when people are 640 00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:19,200 Speaker 1: feeling fearful, they will retreat. And when you are protecting self, 641 00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:22,960 Speaker 1: you're not standing up for the greater collective. So what 642 00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:25,840 Speaker 1: I try to do is not inundate myself with the 643 00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:29,040 Speaker 1: chaos and the fear, and continue what I know is 644 00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:34,480 Speaker 1: true and right and look for those places, those people, 645 00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:38,360 Speaker 1: those activities that actually elevate. What skills do I have 646 00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:40,959 Speaker 1: that I can lend to what's happening in this world today? 647 00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:44,080 Speaker 1: So I'll take one small example. I speak Spanish, So 648 00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:45,960 Speaker 1: is there something I can do with my knowledge and 649 00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:49,760 Speaker 1: language to help people who are right now really being 650 00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:52,880 Speaker 1: attacked and who have a lot of fear? Can I 651 00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:55,120 Speaker 1: solve everything. No, but I can use this one skill 652 00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:59,120 Speaker 1: right when I am feeling down, when I am feeling stressed, 653 00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:01,800 Speaker 1: I do call people like Ian, I'm like, I'm having 654 00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:05,840 Speaker 1: a hard day, and immediately there's a rebalancing right when 655 00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:09,919 Speaker 1: you have those people, because that's the recalibration in any relationship, 656 00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:13,880 Speaker 1: is that when you are a little bit down, somebody 657 00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:15,640 Speaker 1: else will be a little bit up, and then you 658 00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:18,520 Speaker 1: come together and you're like, okay, all as well, right, 659 00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:21,279 Speaker 1: and then go back and do that bit. This goes 660 00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:22,799 Speaker 1: back a little bit to what we were talking about 661 00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:25,239 Speaker 1: earlier in terms of values and priorities and flow is 662 00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:28,640 Speaker 1: where is the place where I have the greatest impact, 663 00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:30,640 Speaker 1: but also where I have the greatest energy. 664 00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:33,399 Speaker 5: And one of the things that the four of us 665 00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:36,840 Speaker 5: are doing collectively to your point, is that we are 666 00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:41,680 Speaker 5: we have an initiative called Realize the Dream, and we 667 00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:46,680 Speaker 5: are igniting a youth movement and we are having people 668 00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:49,400 Speaker 5: all over the country and world join us. We are 669 00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:52,839 Speaker 5: doing one hundred million hours of service by the one 670 00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:57,000 Speaker 5: hundredth birthday of Martin Luther King Junior as a way 671 00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:59,560 Speaker 5: to build the beloved community. So when you talked about 672 00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:02,399 Speaker 5: the fact that you speak Spanish, so with so much 673 00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:04,160 Speaker 5: you know, going on now, and people want to know, 674 00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:06,120 Speaker 5: how can I help? How can I be of service? 675 00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:11,960 Speaker 5: The fact that you could go and volunteer speaking Spanish 676 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:15,480 Speaker 5: and then log those hours to this initiative that we're 677 00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:19,359 Speaker 5: all collectively building the beloved community of Martin Luther King's Junior. 678 00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:23,080 Speaker 5: We're all serving. That's something that we all, as a 679 00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:26,160 Speaker 5: team and partners are extraordinarily excited about. 680 00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:29,319 Speaker 1: I love that word beloved. I mean, you can take 681 00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:32,680 Speaker 1: that in so many directions. Be loved, I. 682 00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:33,640 Speaker 8: Said, loved. 683 00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:38,719 Speaker 5: That's how I taught our daughter when she was a toddler, 684 00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:43,120 Speaker 5: about the beloved community that her grandparents talked about so much. 685 00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:45,120 Speaker 5: And I was trying to figure out a way to 686 00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:47,920 Speaker 5: break it down. What is this beloved community? And then 687 00:35:48,239 --> 00:35:49,799 Speaker 5: it came to me that if I could teach her, 688 00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:53,879 Speaker 5: if we could teach our children to be love, that's 689 00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:57,560 Speaker 5: one way that we can create that beloved community. 690 00:35:58,040 --> 00:36:02,680 Speaker 4: And today's all been about relationship and connection and friendships 691 00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:07,280 Speaker 4: and family. And you are the proud uncle to two nephews, 692 00:36:07,840 --> 00:36:10,360 Speaker 4: and I want to ask you, like, what what rule 693 00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:13,120 Speaker 4: can answer? And uncles playing people's lives and what do 694 00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:14,959 Speaker 4: you hope your legacy will be with them. 695 00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:16,759 Speaker 8: I mean I tease them most of the time, but 696 00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:21,439 Speaker 8: you humble, Yeah, I mean, they're very they're very They're 697 00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:23,920 Speaker 8: they're wonderful children. My sister and her husband have done 698 00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:27,719 Speaker 8: an amazing job. I think, you know, my greatest joy 699 00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:30,920 Speaker 8: is just watching them grow and you know, poking of 700 00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:33,720 Speaker 8: I see, you know, you see so much in kids, 701 00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:36,839 Speaker 8: and I'm just so proud of them because they they 702 00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:40,319 Speaker 8: ask thoughtful questions, They do the hard they'll go out 703 00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:42,680 Speaker 8: and do the uncomfortable stuff. Yes, they will drag their feet, 704 00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:44,520 Speaker 8: they will not want to get off their you know, 705 00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:48,040 Speaker 8: whatever game console they're playing or their phones, but they 706 00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:51,839 Speaker 8: do get up and they take their grandmother to breakfast, 707 00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:54,680 Speaker 8: and they do their rollers, and you know, they call. 708 00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:57,160 Speaker 8: They they're both at college now, so they both call 709 00:36:57,200 --> 00:37:00,879 Speaker 8: home quite often. And I think for me, it's those 710 00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:04,360 Speaker 8: opportunities of making sure that I show up for them 711 00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:07,320 Speaker 8: and I we have we have our own text threat 712 00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:10,719 Speaker 8: that my sister's not on. So there's a lot of 713 00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:14,000 Speaker 8: you know, there's a lot of fun, fun things exchanged 714 00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:17,799 Speaker 8: on there. I think, if anything, it's my you know, 715 00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:22,080 Speaker 8: what I hope I can impart of them is be kind, share, 716 00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:28,080 Speaker 8: you know, extend your hand to somebody who's struggling. I 717 00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:31,719 Speaker 8: used to think that, you know, you know, your your 718 00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:34,360 Speaker 8: legacy is the titles you have in the fancy office 719 00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:38,640 Speaker 8: and the physical feats you could achieve. And so for 720 00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:41,800 Speaker 8: them seeing that part of their uncle in that aspect, 721 00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:45,760 Speaker 8: it's fine. But I've come to realize that it's about 722 00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:49,279 Speaker 8: how you make people feel and how you can show 723 00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:53,239 Speaker 8: people that they can they can be who they are authentically, 724 00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:56,680 Speaker 8: that that they don't have to fit in, you know, 725 00:37:56,880 --> 00:38:00,880 Speaker 8: to hide parts themselves. I want they show up in 726 00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:03,080 Speaker 8: their whole self. And I think that's something the beautiful 727 00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:05,719 Speaker 8: that my sister and her husband have done. I hope 728 00:38:05,719 --> 00:38:08,239 Speaker 8: I've given them a little bit of inspiration as I 729 00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:12,520 Speaker 8: walk around and you know, I'm not look I'm a 730 00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:15,440 Speaker 8: mixed race queer man, and I don't hide it. I 731 00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:19,440 Speaker 8: hope that they see that as a positive thing to 732 00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:22,759 Speaker 8: be in the world, because you know, we need it. 733 00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:24,600 Speaker 8: We need it. We need them all shapes and sizes 734 00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:28,319 Speaker 8: and from all beliefs, and you know, so I just 735 00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:33,719 Speaker 8: hope that the kindness that I extend to others, they've 736 00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:37,440 Speaker 8: seen that that their parents, the kindness their parents extend 737 00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:40,759 Speaker 8: to others, and that creates a ripple effect where they 738 00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:43,160 Speaker 8: take that and pay it forward. 739 00:38:43,680 --> 00:38:49,040 Speaker 4: Slann and Ian, I love this conversation about relationships, about friendships, 740 00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:52,919 Speaker 4: about seeing the good in each other connecting in this way. 741 00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:56,520 Speaker 4: I leave with this idea to challenge our listeners and 742 00:38:56,560 --> 00:39:00,719 Speaker 4: our viewers to call a friend, not to text them, 743 00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:03,760 Speaker 4: not to email them, to call a friend. And imagine 744 00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:05,239 Speaker 4: some people probably saying, well, what am I going to 745 00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:05,960 Speaker 4: say to my friend? 746 00:39:06,239 --> 00:39:06,920 Speaker 3: Invite them to. 747 00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:11,279 Speaker 4: Dim sum, tell them about yes and order the some 748 00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:14,800 Speaker 4: chicken feet, and tell them about an incredible story between 749 00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:16,719 Speaker 4: Selene and Ian and this great friendship and all the 750 00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:19,359 Speaker 4: beautiful lessons that you shared with us today. So too 751 00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:23,439 Speaker 4: in and of course Selene, thank you for living your 752 00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:27,359 Speaker 4: legacy with us and sharing your thoughts with all our 753 00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:28,360 Speaker 4: listeners and viewers. 754 00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:31,799 Speaker 3: Thank you all, Thank you, beautiful, thank you. 755 00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:36,239 Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you for joining us. If you enjoy 756 00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:40,160 Speaker 2: today's conversation, subscribe, share, and follow us on at my 757 00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:45,080 Speaker 2: Legacy movement on social media and YouTube. New episodes drop 758 00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:49,399 Speaker 2: every Tuesday, with bonus content every Thursday. At its core, 759 00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:53,800 Speaker 2: this podcast honors doctor King's vision of the beloved community 760 00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:57,640 Speaker 2: and the power of Connection, a legacy plus studio production 761 00:39:58,120 --> 00:40:02,480 Speaker 2: distributed by iHeartMedia. Creator and executive producer Suzanne Hayward, co 762 00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:06,360 Speaker 2: executive producer Lisa Lyle. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, or 763 00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:07,879 Speaker 2: wherever you get your podcasts.