Speaker 1: Of the law and order franchises. SVU is considered especially watchable.
Speaker 2: We are the amateur detectives who kind of investigate the
Speaker 2: vicious felonies. These episodes are based on.
Speaker 3: These are our stories.
Speaker 2: Done done, Yay, that's messed up. At SVU podcast, we
Speaker 2: have another episode coming at you.
Speaker 3: My name is Lisa Traeger.
Speaker 1: And I'm Kara Klank And as you very well know,
Speaker 1: we recap an episode of USVU. We talk about the
Speaker 1: true CRIMEA is based on and we interview a fabulous guest.
Speaker 1: And today it is no different. We have a great
Speaker 1: guest and before that we just like to catch up
Speaker 1: and chat and talk about what's going on in the world.
Speaker 3: Nothing good, No, that is a couple good things, but mostly.
Speaker 2: Clouded in disasters that I disassociate from.
Speaker 3: Yeah, are you in them? Are you in the like?
Speaker 1: I was like literally on hysteria a few weeks ago,
Speaker 1: and that was the whole topic, is like how do
Speaker 1: you handle like the never ending doom cycle?
Speaker 3: And they were like, Kara, how do you?
Speaker 1: And I was like, uh, like I don't know. I
Speaker 1: just I dip in, but then I you know, I
Speaker 1: get out. I have to like focus on other stuff.
Speaker 2: I feel like, I, Yeah, if we, if any of
Speaker 2: us actually focused on it, we could maybe sacrifice our
Speaker 2: comfort for one second to maybe put our asses on
Speaker 2: the line to make change. But we're not going to
Speaker 2: do it. So we're going to keep listening to this
Speaker 2: pod and that's that. So yeah, keep driving through the
Speaker 2: drive throw and listening and no judgment here.
Speaker 3: I saw Scream last night, and oh Scream six.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think my new thing in life is eating dinner
Speaker 2: at the movie theater and going to the movies. I
Speaker 2: thought it was gonna be going to Jumbo's clown Room,
Speaker 2: but it's actually seeing horror movies and having a great.
Speaker 3: Great time.
Speaker 1: And I'll tell you one is gonna save you a
Speaker 1: lot more money. I think it's gonna save you a lot. Well, no,
Speaker 1: not dinner in a movie, dinner at the movie at
Speaker 1: the movie, yeah, dinner at the movies. Yeah, the Drumbo's
Speaker 1: clown room. Especially especially if you see somebody like, uh, oh.
Speaker 2: You know, someone made fun of me. They're like, it's
Speaker 2: not even an actual stroke club. They're like, what's gonna
Speaker 2: happen to you when you graduate? But I was just
Speaker 2: messaging with who I went to the movies with, and
Speaker 2: I was like, do you think people in line could
Speaker 2: tell we were stoned? And he was like, I think
Speaker 2: helicopters in Highland Park. I mean, but I did have
Speaker 2: a good Yeah, Scream was okay, it was it was fine,
Speaker 2: it was good.
Speaker 3: It was a good time.
Speaker 1: I went last year and saw Screen five, but only
Speaker 1: because it was someone's birthday where they rented out the
Speaker 1: whole theater and it was like lie down seats and
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, Like I don't know the Scream movies.
Speaker 1: I never really the first ones are awesome. I actually
Speaker 1: possibly still own the Scream two.
Speaker 3: Soundtrack on CD.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I used to like them at the very beginning,
Speaker 1: and then I kind of like fell off and then
Speaker 1: I saw five. But I don't know if six is
Speaker 1: calling my name. But Nev Campbell not in this one.
Speaker 3: Not in this one.
Speaker 2: They do reference that she decided to protect her family,
Speaker 2: and it's like, not get involved.
Speaker 1: When in real life she was protecting her bank account.
Speaker 1: I feel like she was like upset that she wasn't
Speaker 1: getting paid enough?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 3: Oh, is that what it was? I think that's what
Speaker 3: it was.
Speaker 1: I think they were just respecting her, like she like
Speaker 1: I think she was like I am this fucking franchise
Speaker 1: and they were like no, and they just didn't give
Speaker 1: her enough.
Speaker 2: I think, well, yeah, there are a part where they're like,
Speaker 2: once it's a franchise, you actually don't matter, and like
Speaker 2: legacy characters can die and like no one is safe
Speaker 2: is like part of the yeah kind of you know,
Speaker 2: sass of this. But Hayden Panitaire svu Alum, she makes
Speaker 2: an appearance. Yes, she's an FBI agent, Herbie yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And Dylan Dylan mcrooney McDermott, I don't know, Dermott mulrooney
Speaker 2: or Dylan McDermott, not Dylan McDermott, Dylan mccrooney, Dermott mulrooney, Dylan,
Speaker 2: he will not not call him Dylan. It's the guy
Speaker 2: from best Friend's wedding, Dermott mulrooney.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But there's also another guy that looks like him that's
Speaker 2: not him, that is gay. But this guy is not gay,
Speaker 2: I feel, I mean he could be, but you know love,
Speaker 2: I mean.
Speaker 1: There was like an SNL skitch that was called Roy
Speaker 1: or Dylan McDermott.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I know.
Speaker 2: But then there's the third guy too, who's in the twist.
Speaker 3: I feel from my best friend's wedding.
Speaker 2: No, just in the genre of faces of that of
Speaker 2: the man, not in the name, but it is my
Speaker 2: best friend's wedding.
Speaker 3: Guy, he is in it. Yeah. Wait yellow jackets too. Fuck? Oh,
Speaker 3: seame we have yellow jackets coming up? Baby.
Speaker 2: Oh I did do something ethically, like Karen, I think, oh,
Speaker 2: what did you do?
Speaker 3: We went to A nine or an eight forty five.
Speaker 2: It was like, towards the end of the evening, I
Speaker 2: had been looking forward all evening to the popcorn. It
Speaker 2: wasn't fresh, so I said, well, you pop a fresh batch.
Speaker 2: And they're like, it would be a ten to fifteen
Speaker 2: minute wait, and I said, I'll wait. I did end
Speaker 2: up tipping, but I did make them pop fresh popcorn
Speaker 2: at the end of the night.
Speaker 1: Listen, you tipped, and you sounds like you asked nicely.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's very karen ish. You didn't ask
Speaker 1: to talk to a manager. You weren't like belittling someone.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, I was pretty apologetic, but I was just like,
Speaker 2: I'm not eating gutter corn.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you've been waiting all day and it tastes like styrofoam.
Speaker 2: Fuck that, I get it. I wanted fresh corn, fresh
Speaker 2: fresh way. Did you see the ads for the nude
Speaker 2: Little Caesars where the crust is a corn on the
Speaker 2: cob and it comes with the liquid butter side.
Speaker 3: It's over. It's over.
Speaker 1: Mediocracy has become real life. But what the fuck are
Speaker 1: you talking about? There's a corn cob crust.
Speaker 3: No, but wildly.
Speaker 2: I DMed it to our friend Lauren, who's obsessed with corn,
Speaker 2: and she did not order that. But she goes, holy shit,
Speaker 2: I did just postmates myself corn on the cob.
Speaker 1: Okay, so I just googled it and it says, no,
Speaker 1: Little Caesar's Corn cob cross Pizza isn't real.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, it didn't make sense, Like, I don't know
Speaker 2: how it could be a vehicle for crust, but I
Speaker 2: believed it. I believed it. I believed it. So is
Speaker 2: that even more idiocrity?
Speaker 1: That's according to some website called penlive dot com. I
Speaker 1: don't know if that's real. But then Boing Boing says,
Speaker 1: Little Caesars introduces corn crob cross pizza with two leaders
Speaker 1: of liquefied butter.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the most silent we've ever been on the pod.
Speaker 2: The liquid butter put us into a full pause. We
Speaker 2: didn't know what to say.
Speaker 1: We've never let there be a second of dead air
Speaker 1: on this podcast, and we just let liquid butter ooze
Speaker 1: in between us.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it seems like the.
Speaker 1: Internet, I mean, boing boing, It does not have a
Speaker 1: definitive answer. If you are work in marketing at Little
Speaker 1: Caesar's or you know the truth, please let us know
Speaker 1: if but I'm it says it has the Internet split,
Speaker 1: and it also has Kara and Lisa's split. Not like
Speaker 1: we're on different sides. We just do not know whether
Speaker 1: this is real.
Speaker 2: Well, I have been, you know, my new thing is,
Speaker 2: I've been dropping off laundry only twice. But there was
Speaker 2: a family enjoying a Little Caesar's in their car, and
Speaker 2: I was like, you guys have figured out the world.
Speaker 3: Fuck.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Lisa was at the playground with me and my
Speaker 1: kids like last week, and this little girl walks in
Speaker 1: with like a little Hot and Ready packet and Lisa
Speaker 1: goes there she is, that's the MVP of this playground.
Speaker 2: I guess I'm really a fan of Hot and Ready
Speaker 2: in public places. Yeah, I'm really impressed. Wait, but we
Speaker 2: do love yellow jackets. It is back, It is back baby.
Speaker 2: The last five seconds of the first episode rocked my world.
Speaker 1: Now, if you haven't seen it, if you haven't watched
Speaker 1: yet fast.
Speaker 2: Forward, we don't we don't even have to go into
Speaker 2: details about it. I don't think even think we have
Speaker 2: to spoil it to be able to talk about it.
Speaker 2: It just like that little moment was like, this is
Speaker 2: why I'm watching Yellow Jackets, because it was like okay, okay, okay, okay,
Speaker 2: and then I was like, oh, there she is.
Speaker 3: There's Yellow Jackets.
Speaker 2: Like it just was like shocking, surprising, awesome, and why
Speaker 2: I'm watching Twisted.
Speaker 3: I loved it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I also like the way that they figured out a
Speaker 1: way for a character who passed away to still be
Speaker 1: kind of in the show a little bit.
Speaker 2: Well yeah, because she on the red carpets and Stuff's
Speaker 2: like they tell me, I'm out, I'm out, I'm out.
Speaker 3: I'm pissed, but I'm out, and you're right.
Speaker 2: You know, they let her, They let her in a
Speaker 2: little Yeah, they figured it out a little way.
Speaker 3: So keep getting her SAG insurance. I think people are
Speaker 3: meming that.
Speaker 1: You know, when Tysa shows up at her son's school
Speaker 1: and she's just holding the dog with like a wild
Speaker 1: smile on her face.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what's the meme.
Speaker 1: I don't really know, but people are just like meming
Speaker 1: her with like the little dog like you know me
Speaker 1: when blank happens or whatever.
Speaker 3: Like it's just such a funny like visual.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it really like picked up. It feels like right
Speaker 1: where it left off. Like I don't it doesn't feel
Speaker 1: like a huge jump.
Speaker 2: I don't know, No, no time has jumped. Also, I'm
Speaker 2: ready to join Lottie's program. Her speech up top, I go,
Speaker 2: you know what if I would drop five grand I
Speaker 2: would go, I would go for a you know, a
Speaker 2: day program you except for you. I was like that
Speaker 2: right Lotties thing. I was like, get me in there, Yeah,
Speaker 2: get me in there. But I also am into Misty's
Speaker 2: detective prowess skills.
Speaker 3: She's good at it. Yeah, she's on Reddit trolling the forums.
Speaker 1: I think that's where Elijah Wood's gonna come in, right,
Speaker 1: that was his voice in a voiceover.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, Like I.
Speaker 1: Think he's gonna be like a fellow detective q amateur detective.
Speaker 2: Because I want her to have a friend I want
Speaker 2: her to have friendship, you know what I mean? She
Speaker 2: deserves it. Well, she doesn't, she's bad. There's an interview
Speaker 2: with Christina Ricci and she goes, yeah, everyone that's like
Speaker 2: into Misty, please you need help.
Speaker 3: This is a dangerous person. This is not someone.
Speaker 2: You want in your life, and like, please, this is
Speaker 2: not a good sign if like you're connected to this woman.
Speaker 1: I know, but there is like something about Christina Ricci
Speaker 1: that is like, I don't know, I'm not scared of
Speaker 1: Misty even though she is scary and she okay, wait,
Speaker 1: clarification question when she injected that cigarette with whatever the fuck?
Speaker 1: Did she kill that woman or just like incapacitate her
Speaker 1: or like.
Speaker 3: Carara please, so of course that woman is dead. She's dead, Okay, Okay,
Speaker 3: she's a witness. She can't be trusted out. I know,
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 1: I just didn't know if she gave her something that
Speaker 1: turned her into like a vegetable or you know what
Speaker 1: I mean.
Speaker 2: Like it seem like Lisa Hockstein right now when the
Speaker 2: husband is cheating and she's like, wait, you think they
Speaker 2: had sex.
Speaker 3: I'm just I don't know if my marriage is over yet, Lisa.
Speaker 3: I don't know you think they had sex? A month ago?
Speaker 3: Everything was fine? That's so good.
Speaker 1: Like when someone's being obtuse to just be like, are
Speaker 1: you like Lisa Hawkstein.
Speaker 3: Do you think they had sex? Is so fun? Funny?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, of course she murdered that bitch. Wait,
Speaker 2: I did have a fun celebrity moment. Okay, So I
Speaker 2: have been I have been meeting Caroline Ray, I would
Speaker 2: say fifteen times at least, like I'm obsessed with her,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Like I've been.
Speaker 3: I love Caroline Ray. I can't get enough of her.
Speaker 2: And every time I meet her, I'm always like I
Speaker 2: never am like, oh we've met. I'll keep reliving the
Speaker 2: fantasy as many times, like I'll don't worry Darling's However,
Speaker 2: many times she wants right, she.
Speaker 3: Never remembers you no, and it's totally fun.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 2: One time, I think she could sense my energy because
Speaker 2: I think I've said it on the podcast. Jackie Harry
Speaker 2: was there too, and she's like, yeah, she like hit
Speaker 2: her and was like let's let's go over here, Like
Speaker 2: they like walked away from me, Like the energy was
Speaker 2: just too desperate on my part. So then finally I
Speaker 2: was opening Eleanor Kerrigan if you see her special, she
Speaker 2: taped it to the comedy Store recently, and so I
Speaker 2: opened for her tapings. So Caroline was there to support
Speaker 2: and I did do a good job opening for my friend.
Speaker 2: So finally Caroline came up to me and I was like,
Speaker 2: I think this time she might remember. But again it
Speaker 2: was like hey, I'm Carolina. Yeah, I love you girl.
Speaker 2: And so I walked out back and I told some
Speaker 2: friends I go, I think this might be the time
Speaker 2: she remembers me. I got this might be it, and
Speaker 2: then my friend Steve Fierrio goes, yeah, I mean it's
Speaker 2: like show us the cat, give us the cat, And
Speaker 2: I just started laughing so hard.
Speaker 3: I was like, what does that mean, show us the
Speaker 3: cat from Sabrina the teenage Witsch.
Speaker 5: Salem.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like bring the cat.
Speaker 2: They thought it was like a like a phrase, like
Speaker 2: a turn a phrase. I was like, what the hell, No,
Speaker 2: it was like, girl, we love you, like like what.
Speaker 3: Game do you want us to play? But I think
Speaker 3: I've said it on this podcast too.
Speaker 1: But I met her once like ten years ago, and
Speaker 1: like I loved her so much, we had had a conversation.
Speaker 3: Keep meeting her. Yeah it'll be like the first time
Speaker 3: every time.
Speaker 1: Never remember this, or she doesn't remember you after all
Speaker 1: these times. This was so many years ago.
Speaker 5: I brought her.
Speaker 2: Up before I've hosted. I mean I have been bringing
Speaker 2: her up on stage. I've been at multiple coasts. I've
Speaker 2: been at festival, I've brought her up at Montreal. I mean, no,
Speaker 2: no Tin, no shade. I think to our generation, she
Speaker 2: we all get this excited. So I understand her point
Speaker 2: of view of like, Okay, these women just like they
Speaker 2: all just seem too excited. I don't know, yeah, but
Speaker 2: it was just funny. When I go back there, I go,
Speaker 2: I think this might be the time she remembers me
Speaker 2: and him being like, yeah, just tell us about the cat,
Speaker 2: just like made me so happy.
Speaker 1: I just can't wait until I get to meet her
Speaker 1: again and have I can't wait to get into where
Speaker 1: you are, Like I want to be on meeting fifteen already,
Speaker 1: Like I'm only on I've only had one, so like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I need to get up there.
Speaker 2: I feel like I saw my own Scanda all with
Speaker 2: my own eyes. I was in the back of a
Speaker 2: comedy show and there was like a table of four
Speaker 2: and it was like a guy with his legs wide open,
Speaker 2: and the the girl in front of him was like
Speaker 2: in between his leg opening, and then the girl diagonal
Speaker 2: to him on the other side of the table. Every
Speaker 2: time she would laugh, she would turn around to look
Speaker 2: back at him to like is it okay to laugh?
Speaker 2: You know, like and she kept like she just kept
Speaker 2: looking at him to laugh and like connect. And to me,
Speaker 2: I'm like, wait, what's going on? Why is she connecting
Speaker 2: with him? And the girls in between his legs? So
Speaker 2: I was like, I wonder what's happening in this dynamic?
Speaker 1: Why are people in between each other's legs at comedy
Speaker 1: shows too?
Speaker 3: I don't know. You don't like that at all? I don't.
Speaker 3: I think that feels really weird.
Speaker 2: That didn't bother me as much as the three connecting.
Speaker 3: And then who was the fourth guy out?
Speaker 2: He's just sitting there like another girl, three girls a
Speaker 2: guy and not no pizza, no snacks of the college.
Speaker 1: Three girls, a guy, no pizza place. Okay, So I
Speaker 1: hope it's not just a girl who's just like got misogyny.
Speaker 1: So ingrained in her that she has to look at
Speaker 1: the man at the table to see like if he's
Speaker 1: laughing at the thing so she can laugh at.
Speaker 2: It, and that it's not unset. That's the first thing
Speaker 2: I said on stage. I go, honey, I've been watching
Speaker 2: you this whole time Feminism's happened. Stop looking at him,
Speaker 2: I go, stop looking at him, I go. You can
Speaker 2: laugh on your own, honey, that's the first thing I said.
Speaker 2: I was like appalled, but she continued to do it.
Speaker 2: She continued to do it.
Speaker 3: It was wild. Wow. Okay, guys, so I know Casey
Speaker 3: just gave us the flag. We got ustart the episode.
Speaker 3: But really quickly.
Speaker 1: I know a lot of you have been asking us
Speaker 1: when is our show at the Moontower Comedy Festival, which
Speaker 1: is coming up at the end of April, and we.
Speaker 3: Finally have a date.
Speaker 1: It is going to be Friday, April twenty first, at
Speaker 1: eight pm at eight hundred Congress. That is the name
Speaker 1: of the venue in Austin, eight hundred Congress and it's
Speaker 1: part of the Moontower Comedy Festival. Now, for some reason,
Speaker 1: this fest has not gotten us a ticket link yet,
Speaker 1: but you know that the second that we get one,
Speaker 1: we're going to be throwing it up on That's messed
Speaker 1: up live dot com. So please keep checking that or
Speaker 1: just follow us on Instagram and our instagram is going
Speaker 1: to have all the ticket for Moontower as soon as
Speaker 1: it's up. But right now, you can mark your calendars
Speaker 1: for Friday, April twenty first to eight pm at eight
Speaker 1: hundred Congress and we will get you the ticket link
Speaker 1: as soon as possible on our Instagram. Okay, let's get
Speaker 1: started with today's episode.
Speaker 2: All right, we got Haystack Season eight, episode fifteen. You
Speaker 2: know what, I was just watching the there's a new
Speaker 2: three part I think I kind of fell asleep. But
Speaker 2: it's about the Malaysian airlines. Yeah, yeah, I heard about that.
Speaker 2: It is fucked up what happened and no one knows.
Speaker 2: I mean, it is so fucked up. But the reason
Speaker 2: I thought of it is because there's someone says it's
Speaker 2: not finding a needle in a haystack, like it's finding
Speaker 2: the haystack. Like they can't even find the haystack. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 2: and so that wow stuck with me. But we're now
Speaker 2: in SVU, that's where we're at, and a woman is
Speaker 2: being choked close up with a bunch of candles behind her,
Speaker 2: and we turned to a ginger bearded man and I
Speaker 2: thought it was going to be a movie shooting trope.
Speaker 3: Start. I was wrong.
Speaker 2: The bitch is choking herself in a game of charades.
Speaker 2: So that's that's the gag of it.
Speaker 1: All yesterday, Rosie goes, let's play charades, and Jared goes, okay,
Speaker 1: and she goes, and he goes, No charades is quiet,
Speaker 1: she goes, this charade is loud.
Speaker 3: It's like you are the craziest. So what was her charade?
Speaker 1: She made up this animal called like a paploma or something,
Speaker 1: and it's an animal that screams.
Speaker 3: So she was being that.
Speaker 2: I wonder what it looks like. You should have made
Speaker 2: her draw She's drawn it. She's drawn it. We have
Speaker 2: what does it look like? I mean, it looks like
Speaker 2: a kid who just learned how to draw shapes. It's
Speaker 2: like it's crazy. She has it drawn on a tiny
Speaker 2: little easel canvas. I'll take a picture of it and
Speaker 2: I'll show it to you. But is it on Instagram?
Speaker 2: But is it named after Paloma the Cocktail?
Speaker 1: Well, no, it's not a pimp. It's like a pimp.
Speaker 1: It's like a pine pinopola or something like.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: She made up the name and it's escaping me right now.
Speaker 1: But that's what her charade was. Her lauxurie so cute.
Speaker 2: So the beard, the ginger beard, is guessing. We open
Speaker 2: up on a whole gaggle of people and they're shouting
Speaker 2: out guesses. One of the women is like, wait, fuck,
Speaker 2: did you hear something? And everyone's like, shut up, you
Speaker 2: dumb bitch. But she walks to another room to check
Speaker 2: what she heard. As they keep playing. She walks into
Speaker 2: a baby's room and the window is open and you
Speaker 2: know the mobile, the mobile.
Speaker 3: What is it? Mobile mobile?
Speaker 2: Yeah, is swinging. I used to love making those in school.
Speaker 2: That was like my favorite project. It's swinging. And she
Speaker 2: checks the crib and oh no, the baby is gone.
Speaker 2: She screams, Garrett, Garrett. We cut to Mike Doyle aka
Speaker 2: o'haller and friend of the pod, and he's filling in
Speaker 2: Maloney in the halls. So the baby is Kendall Kazlowski,
Speaker 2: thirteen months. The mother put him down at six and
Speaker 2: the baby is missing at ten when she checked on him,
Speaker 2: the window is open, but there are the window has
Speaker 2: no locks and there's no fingerprints. Maloney asks if there
Speaker 2: are any videos or witnesses. Nothing so far, and he's like, well,
Speaker 2: find me something. It's like, honey, they're on it. So
Speaker 2: Maloney approaches the couple who's holding each other stressed. She
Speaker 2: asks if there's any news, and he sadly says no.
Speaker 2: He asks to see the photo of the baby, and
Speaker 2: the photo is cute, and she's like a mess. She's
Speaker 2: staring into the distance. I'll never see my baby again. Wildly.
Speaker 2: All the candles still lit, still glowing. No one blew
Speaker 2: them out. So many candles, so it's really a candle.
Speaker 2: It's a seance. Maloney says, we're doing everything we can
Speaker 2: to find your son, and she responds, I know who
Speaker 2: took him, Dan Kozlowski, my ex husband. Done done credits.
Speaker 2: We open back up and we got a Craigan and Maloney.
Speaker 2: We're walking, we're talking. It's a busy workroom. The wrap
Speaker 2: sheet came back and Dan has some burglary possession of
Speaker 2: stolen property. The mom is squeaky clean, so he walks
Speaker 2: in and asks uh as bangs Benson, which means she
Speaker 2: has bangs at the moment.
Speaker 3: If she can help in an interview.
Speaker 2: She says yes, please, and Craigan says no, you don't
Speaker 2: leave the desk until you review every paper on the
Speaker 2: Judkins appeal. So Stabler's like please, like I need help,
Speaker 2: and Craigan's like, no, shut up, save it and sends
Speaker 2: Elliott in alone, and I don't get why she's in
Speaker 2: trouble and on desk duty. And I kept being like, oh,
Speaker 2: this is around the brother's DNA this and that, but
Speaker 2: that happens towards the end of this episode. So I
Speaker 2: don't understand why she's on desk duty. Obviously this is
Speaker 2: like around the time she had a baby or something.
Speaker 3: But what's going on here?
Speaker 6: Like loophole you said was two episodes before the episode
Speaker 6: right before maybe she just went I'm sure she's went
Speaker 6: again ahead, I'm telling you she didn't do Yeah.
Speaker 1: No, well loophole she gets like almost fucking carbon monoxideed
Speaker 1: to death.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But then at the end of that episode, they march
Speaker 2: on into a big wigs office to demand no insurance money. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so she's up and kicking. The next one is the
Speaker 2: Princess Bride guy. You know, he's like the defense attorney
Speaker 2: for gangs and stuff. Yeah, and the son like sees
Speaker 2: who kills So like, she doesn't do anything shady. The
Speaker 2: brother she does something shady at the end of this episode,
Speaker 2: So I don't or maybe she really just has a
Speaker 2: ton of paperwork for this case, but I don't get it.
Speaker 1: Says also there's the episode dependent is the one right
Speaker 1: before this, and it's where they question a confused young
Speaker 1: woman about an attack on her parents and Stabler puts
Speaker 1: his career on the line when he goes too far.
Speaker 1: That's not her, I know, That's what I mean. I
Speaker 1: really so weird. All right, Well, I'm sure everyone will.
Speaker 2: Tell us because if it's her, like if it's her
Speaker 2: having a baby or whatnot, then they could.
Speaker 3: Have I don't know.
Speaker 2: But also this episode there's no Munch and there's no
Speaker 2: Fit in this whole episode. Yeah, it's a Craigan maloney
Speaker 2: so like it was it passover. I like, I don't
Speaker 2: understand how everyone was.
Speaker 1: The episodes are so like standalone that it's weird that
Speaker 1: they wouldn't even like put a reference to what it
Speaker 1: is that she's doing wrong or done what she's in
Speaker 1: trouble for, or.
Speaker 2: Maybe this was this huge case she has to do
Speaker 2: paperwork for. But they should have made it more clear.
Speaker 2: But also the fact that Munch and Finn are not
Speaker 2: going to be in this episode at all, not even
Speaker 2: not even like go do desk duty zero, It's it's wild.
Speaker 2: We never really see Craigan out and about maybe Dan
Speaker 2: Floric was like, I'm sick of being a crossing guard.
Speaker 3: I need to work.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: Maybe he was demanding some more fun, but whatever, we're back.
Speaker 2: So Maloney's in there with the mom with Ashley Williams,
Speaker 2: and Ashley Williams is smoking a cigarette inside. So okay, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm obsessed, obsessed, but her child is missing. Elliott right
Speaker 2: away asks if she has any idea where her ex
Speaker 2: husband could be, and she's like, check the nearest. Oh,
Speaker 2: t he'd be. He's a compulsive better. So they were
Speaker 2: together one year, nine months and three days. She says
Speaker 2: marrying him was the worst mistake of her life. Stablor's
Speaker 2: kind of a dick and says, why did you do it?
Speaker 3: Rude?
Speaker 2: He does need Olivia in there. She got pregnant. She
Speaker 2: didn't want to raise a child alone. She did think
Speaker 2: Dan would be a good father, and he was for
Speaker 2: a bit, but he just loved the tracks. Maxing out
Speaker 2: her credit cards and then he casts out all the
Speaker 2: bonds her mom bought for Kendall. So he contacted her
Speaker 2: last week desperate for money. She didn't have any. He
Speaker 2: asked to call her parents and ask for money. Okay, lol.
Speaker 2: She told him to piss off. And he told her
Speaker 2: she would be sorry. Stabler stares at her and says
Speaker 2: nothing again. Can we please get live in there? She
Speaker 2: her child is missing. She gets panicked with his silence
Speaker 2: and is like, fuck, do you think he'd hurt Kendall
Speaker 2: to get back at me? He asks if he's ever
Speaker 2: been violent before, and she's like, only with walls and furniture.
Speaker 2: So knock at the door highway has got him high
Speaker 2: speed chase. Maloney runs off. A bunch of cop cars
Speaker 2: surround him and he's running to the river with a
Speaker 2: big bag, and Maloney is like, please, it's cool, it's cool,
Speaker 2: be cool, but damn, don't be all like uncool.
Speaker 3: If you get it, you get if you know, you know.
Speaker 2: But he throws the If you don't know, it's Louandela's
Speaker 2: ups from Office of New York.
Speaker 3: And if you don't know, we're also gonna tell you.
Speaker 6: Who.
Speaker 2: He throws the bag in the water. Maloney screams no.
Speaker 2: Maloney jumps in. It's dark as hell were other cops
Speaker 2: scream to ems.
Speaker 3: There's a baby in the water.
Speaker 2: He can't find a bag in the river since it's
Speaker 2: pitch black, so Maloney is now stopping wet grabbing Pablo
Speaker 2: Shriber by the neck, going what that was your son?
Speaker 2: And he's like what wait, what about my son? Maloney
Speaker 2: is shirtless, by the way, and with a towel over
Speaker 2: his neck, so this is fun. A Uni tells Maloney
Speaker 2: they got something. He walks to the bag. It's not
Speaker 2: a baby, it's cocaine eight kilos Pablo, But why wouldn't
Speaker 2: Pablo just be like, that's my son is not in
Speaker 2: that bag? Yeah, Pablo now is an interrogation and he's
Speaker 2: claiming he doesn't know where his son is. So he's like, fine,
Speaker 2: tell me about the drugs. And Maloney accuses him of
Speaker 2: selling his kid for drugs. So wow, he says he
Speaker 2: would never do that, and I do believe him. So
Speaker 2: Maloney's like, fine, where were you last night? Why the coke?
Speaker 2: He's scratching the back of his neck, not wanting to talk.
Speaker 2: Maloney gets frustrated, gets in his face and straight up
Speaker 2: is like, you say you care about your son, stop
Speaker 2: trying to cover your own ass and start helping me
Speaker 2: find your boy. What were you doing last night? And why?
Speaker 2: He yells again, what were you doing? Then says yeah,
Speaker 2: you love your kid, sarcastically and so finally he talks.
Speaker 2: He admits that he was playing the ponies. So after
Speaker 2: Laura threw him out, it got really bad, and so
Speaker 2: his book he sold all his debt to a drug
Speaker 2: dealer who needed a mule. Maloney's like, why would he
Speaker 2: trusts the gut a gambling addict, and like why would
Speaker 2: you trust him with so much coke? And He's like, well,
Speaker 2: you threatened to murder my family. Are you new here, detective?
Speaker 2: And then he's like, oh, fuck, you got to give
Speaker 2: me back the coke.
Speaker 3: You have to.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I have to make this delivery. If
Speaker 2: I don't make the delivery, they're gonna kill my son. A.
Speaker 2: Maloney's like, we're not giving you the drugs back.
Speaker 3: Are you knew?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 3: And then Maloney's like, tell me where you know?
Speaker 2: Bernardo is last chance and he holds the coke in
Speaker 2: his hand, and right as he is about to talk,
Speaker 2: Pablo caves and I mean about to walk, not talk,
Speaker 2: And Pablo caves and says in his in his stash
Speaker 2: house in the.
Speaker 3: Bronx, And then there's a raid.
Speaker 2: People in bras no shirts with masks working in the
Speaker 2: cocaine factory and is this for safety or so no
Speaker 2: one steals the drugs. I think it's honestly, so you
Speaker 2: don't like inhale cocaine and get fucked up, not the
Speaker 2: masks nakedness.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, I think that's about theft.
Speaker 2: Yes, sorry, dealer is just well yeah, this isn't Cocaine Bear.
Speaker 1: Was obsessed in Cocaine Bear when the kids were like,
Speaker 1: I've done cocaine?
Speaker 3: Have you done cocaine? And then they just eat cocaine
Speaker 3: and it tastes so bad.
Speaker 2: Cocaine Bear like when the coke is going into like
Speaker 2: the cocaine Bear is so expressive and he reminds me
Speaker 2: of Deep Blue Sea. Were you into that movie? Were
Speaker 2: the smart sharks? I never saw that? Oh we should
Speaker 2: watch that. Deep Blue Sea is like llll cool Jay
Speaker 2: and a big crew of people, but it's like extra
Speaker 2: smart sharks in like scary.
Speaker 3: It's like, you know, did you see Megalodon? The meg? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Meg No? Oh see, I really love that genre.
Speaker 2: I think X like like really smart sharper predators just
Speaker 2: like yeah, yeah, super predators.
Speaker 3: I think I'm into.
Speaker 2: But anyways, yeah, if you know any fun shark movies,
Speaker 2: I think I like it. It is upsetting my shark
Speaker 2: tattoo does not have sharp teeth. Okay, so the cocaine
Speaker 2: factory gets you know, I would say exploited, but rated.
Speaker 2: The dealer just says, lawyer, lawyer, he's a pro. And
Speaker 2: then Maloney does one of my favorite lines, like there's
Speaker 2: so much blow here. Your parole officer hasn't even been
Speaker 2: born yet. But maybe I can put in a good
Speaker 2: word with the judge if you tell me about Dan.
Speaker 2: And he's like, oh, Dan, that's the little punk who
Speaker 2: gave me up.
Speaker 3: But the boy is not here, and then.
Speaker 2: A RoboCop dressed officer relays that the dealer is like,
Speaker 2: no kids, I don't fuck with kids. Ammonia's like, listen,
Speaker 2: it's your lucky day. I don't care about your cocaine.
Speaker 2: I only care about the boy. And he's like, I
Speaker 2: don't do kids. Like leave me alone. He asks if
Speaker 2: white Dan was at the house last night, and he
Speaker 2: confirms that he was. The count was off, so they
Speaker 2: were redoing the packaging until ten pm, so Maloney has
Speaker 2: to tell the mom that it was not Dan Kazlowski.
Speaker 2: So since the cops don't care about the coke, like,
Speaker 2: do you think the drug dealer lets Dan go or like,
Speaker 2: is he about to get beaten up by the drug dealers?
Speaker 3: You know what I mean? Yeah, I don't know how
Speaker 3: he settles all that, or they empathetic because it's like, okay,
Speaker 3: your son.
Speaker 1: Is missing, Like I don't think drug dealers, I don't.
Speaker 1: I think drug dealers were like, where's my coke?
Speaker 3: They don't care about your kid? Yeah? All right. So
Speaker 3: he's like, okay, help me out here.
Speaker 2: Have you noticed anyone paying extra attention to you or
Speaker 2: Kendall recently? And she's like, yes, actually I felt someone
Speaker 2: was watching me. She would turn around and no one
Speaker 2: would be there. Sometimes a car would take, you know,
Speaker 2: turn disappear the corner. She thought she was paranoid or
Speaker 2: it was Dan. So she recaps her day from the
Speaker 2: day before he went missing.
Speaker 3: She took Kendall to the park.
Speaker 2: It started to rain, so they went to the movies,
Speaker 2: and then she picked up party snacks. So she makes
Speaker 2: a list of all the places and people from Maloney,
Speaker 2: Craign and Maloney talk to a movie theater worker who
Speaker 2: remembers her, and he's like, you rip tickets all day.
Speaker 3: Why do you remember her?
Speaker 2: And she's like, well, I said, you know, no noise
Speaker 2: baby policy if your baby acts up, you're at it
Speaker 2: here no refund. But the kid slept through the whole
Speaker 2: movie and she didn't notice anybody giving the baby attention
Speaker 2: or anything like that, and she's like, I actually didn't
Speaker 2: even see the baby. She had one of those plastic
Speaker 2: covers over it. And that's how I like babies, not
Speaker 2: seen or heard. So now they go talk to the
Speaker 2: babysitter and he's like, oh, that's a quiet baby.
Speaker 3: That's the only reason I read the babysit.
Speaker 2: And they're like, why did you need a babysit and
Speaker 2: he goes, well, Laura went to get food and wine
Speaker 2: for the party, so I came down to help. Craigan
Speaker 2: asked about the window. Was it open, and he's like,
Speaker 2: I actually never went in there. The baby was napping
Speaker 2: and Laura didn't want me to wake him up. So
Speaker 2: they go outside and they're like, okay, the baby isn
Speaker 2: goes so nobody saw the baby. So then they're like, wait,
Speaker 2: what's the last verified sighting of the baby. Maloney says
Speaker 2: Friday afternoon when she picked him up from the babysitter
Speaker 2: at five pm, and no one ever saw the baby again,
Speaker 2: and I mean ever really until you know, she called
Speaker 2: nine one one Saturday night, so we only have Laura's
Speaker 2: word that the baby was alive. And well, so now
Speaker 2: that the obvious conclusion is Laura killed her child. So
Speaker 2: we're back in the baby's room. They're rechecking for new
Speaker 2: evidence and the mom is like, you've already done all
Speaker 2: this bullshit.
Speaker 3: Why are you here?
Speaker 2: You should be out there, that's more productive, and Maloney's like,
Speaker 2: whatever happens started here, we got to make sure we
Speaker 2: don't miss anything. And then she starts yelling like what
Speaker 2: the fuck are you doing to my carpet? What are
Speaker 2: you doing to my house? And Maloney's like, wrong question, lady.
Speaker 2: A mother with a missing child would ask what more
Speaker 2: she could do to help not impede the investigation. Dramatic
Speaker 2: music plays. She gets what's being implied and she says,
Speaker 2: I'll get out of your way and walks off. Craigan
Speaker 2: asks what's your read and Maloney says, well, she went ballistic,
Speaker 2: which is so sexist. She did not go ballistic, like
Speaker 2: barely ballistic. Her child is missing, like she's allowed to
Speaker 2: be a little emotional. Oh, Hallarin runs in and says,
Speaker 2: I got something in the trash. They find baby sweaters
Speaker 2: of Kendles, toys, blankets, and Maloney's like wow, dumped everything.
Speaker 2: And then they're like, fuck is that blood on the blanket?
Speaker 2: And now there's a sonogram. So Stable and Craigan walk
Speaker 2: the streets talking shit. Well do you have a baby
Speaker 2: book or scrap book? What do you do a box?
Speaker 2: What do you keep baby shitting?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: No, I have the sonograms in my bedside table. I
Speaker 1: don't have, like, I don't really have like a scrap book.
Speaker 1: I wanted to make albums for every year of their
Speaker 1: lives and I haven't done it yet, and Rosie's going
Speaker 1: to be four and two weeks, so I'm behind.
Speaker 2: Well, I know you keep every little card and stuff,
Speaker 2: So yeah, I do keep their teeth.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Well, they haven't lost any yet, but I probably will. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I probably will. I didn't get to keep the sliver
Speaker 1: of oscars chip tooth that fell when he fell out
Speaker 1: of his white chair.
Speaker 2: So I don't know why that shivers got it.
Speaker 3: It's not where he would feel it.
Speaker 2: It's like, so, Stabler and Craigan walk the streets talking
Speaker 2: shit while Stabler has a box of baby goods under
Speaker 2: his arm, and they see some press and it's Cindy Marino,
Speaker 2: who he calls the poor man's Giraldo, which is funny
Speaker 2: because Giraldo is not for the rich, you know, he's Heroldo. Yeah,
Speaker 2: Heraldo Heraldo. It felt wrong but I didn't know how.
Speaker 2: But also Heraldo is like the poor man's Oprah. Everyone's
Speaker 2: the poor man's Opra, Like yeah, it's like Heraldo is
Speaker 2: the poor man's Heraldo. Heraldo's not for anybody high level. No,
Speaker 2: but Cindy Marino, Cindy mo Wait, oh, I was Wendy Morino.
Speaker 2: That was my character when I would go to law
Speaker 2: schools and pretend to be a UPS employee that was
Speaker 2: sexually harassed.
Speaker 3: I was like, that name is like hitting me in
Speaker 3: like in my heart. I love that.
Speaker 2: So they're like, oh, it's your favorite, you know, so whatever.
Speaker 2: Cindy Marina wants juice and they're like, well it's your favorite.
Speaker 2: A grieving mother you love writing more than news.
Speaker 3: Huh. They don't respect her. She's like, come on, give
Speaker 3: me something.
Speaker 2: She's a crackhead first sad news, and Maloney says, I
Speaker 2: wonder how the baby's sonogram wound up in the garbage.
Speaker 2: Her gold hoops ass smile Maloney is now at Melinda
Speaker 2: Warner's asking for some science based evidence, but she's not
Speaker 2: finding anything from the goods. But it's not blood, it's
Speaker 2: strained peaches and she knows that from experience.
Speaker 3: So wow, she has kids. I don't know if we've
Speaker 3: ever known that or.
Speaker 1: Ever talked about that too. I was like, Oh, Melinda
Speaker 1: has a daughter. I just didn't never mentioned again before.
Speaker 2: Ever just about the strained peaches, like has a dog
Speaker 2: named Pete, Pete. She has a husband, well the husband
Speaker 2: she mentions a few times, but I'm just saying, like
Speaker 2: we've had holiday dinners at the house, like we've had
Speaker 2: teen daughters dead on her slabs, like never mentioned, but
Speaker 2: all of a sudden right now.
Speaker 1: There is also like how many problems has Ken had?
Speaker 1: How many problems has like Dicky and the Stabler kids.
Speaker 1: We can't get we can't get Melinda Warner's daughter in
Speaker 1: with like one issue, like a friend got attacked at
Speaker 1: a party.
Speaker 3: Let's get her in here, let's cast her.
Speaker 2: We know that her sister worked at SAX and we
Speaker 2: know the only thing we know about Melinda's daughter is
Speaker 2: she ate strained peace as a baby house to them,
Speaker 2: loved him. We don't even know where she went to.
Speaker 2: She could have just been like, oh, my girl goes
Speaker 2: to Hudson, like yeah, I should get her a rape whistle,
Speaker 2: like nothing. So we asks why she killed him and
Speaker 2: she's like same old story, abuse, accident, shaken baby, you
Speaker 2: know the drill. They decide the best thing for everyone
Speaker 2: is for Stabler to go home and get some sleep.
Speaker 2: Next thing we see, though, is o'haller in a corduroy
Speaker 2: jacket throwing a ball in the air like a young,
Speaker 2: cool teacher about to change the lives of some students,
Speaker 2: and he's got something for Stabler. He's like, I figured
Speaker 2: you wouldn't want to wait till morning. Several strands of
Speaker 2: hair from a screw from the fire escape ladder and
Speaker 2: the perp bumped his head on the way down, and
Speaker 2: it couldn't be Laura's.
Speaker 3: It's blonde, not brown.
Speaker 2: Someone else was definitely on the fire escape and they're
Speaker 2: bringing it down to Melinda. Sibler goes, eh, it could
Speaker 2: be old, and Ryan's like, no, it can't be old.
Speaker 2: With all the rain, there's no way it's old. This
Speaker 2: is our first solid lead. Craigan interrupts. Cindy Marino is
Speaker 2: on TV with an interview with Laura. We see Laura
Speaker 2: on screen in the same green hoodie we've been seeing
Speaker 2: her in. She says, I heard a noise when she
Speaker 2: went to check he was gone. And then she's like,
Speaker 2: you were drinking, you were smoking, there's wheed in the air.
Speaker 2: You murdered your baby. And this woman starts going at
Speaker 2: her and she's the prime suspect you through your sonogram
Speaker 2: in the trash. You hated your baby. She's shocked. She
Speaker 2: starts yelling, no, I loved Kendall. She kicks her out
Speaker 2: of her house. She flips out and obviously like she
Speaker 2: just accused her of killing.
Speaker 3: Her own child on national television.
Speaker 2: Oh Hallarin's like, well, who tips Cindy off about the sonogram?
Speaker 2: And Craigan slowly turns his head towards Stabler, Who's like
Speaker 2: I did with no guilt, Like I just really hate him.
Speaker 3: Sometimes. He goes to visit her.
Speaker 2: Her door's spray painted, baby killer and vandalize. He wants
Speaker 2: to talk to her. She is not answering. He bings
Speaker 2: on the door, It just opens, no answer. The candles
Speaker 2: are still lit. The candles are very important to her.
Speaker 2: The apartment is dark. He goes through the apartment, then
Speaker 2: sees her hanging on the chandelier. She has taken her
Speaker 2: own life with an extension cord. Thanks Stabler, great fucking work.
Speaker 2: We're now on a busy sirens sounding crime scene, where
Speaker 2: Craigan says that the reports that Emmy said the death
Speaker 2: was insistantaneous and she did not suffer, and it's like,
Speaker 2: define suffer. There was some suffering. Stabler is finally feeling guilty.
Speaker 2: He's like, I thought she was lying to me. That's
Speaker 2: why I stick to the reporter on her. Cragan's like,
Speaker 2: Laura still could have killed Kendall, and Marino's back at work,
Speaker 2: being like any note was there a confession? And he
Speaker 2: walks to her like Frankenstein, very slow and angry, and
Speaker 2: calls her the devil and it's like if she's.
Speaker 3: The devil, who are you? Who are you? Who's the
Speaker 3: Devil's little friend? That's you?
Speaker 2: She says, I'm just doing my job. Somebody has to
Speaker 2: somebody has to ask the tough questions. Since the cops
Speaker 2: don't have the balls. He tries to get in her face,
Speaker 2: Craigan holds him back. Cut to Novak and Stabler in
Speaker 2: a walk and talk in the precinct hallways and her
Speaker 2: hair is flowing in the wind Beyonce style, gorgeous strawberry blonde.
Speaker 2: And she's like, you fucking knew she was enough unethical,
Speaker 2: garbage and sleazy and knew how she operated. He's like,
Speaker 2: I didn't mean for her to go that far. Fuck you, Elliott.
Speaker 2: She says it's morally inexcusable, but it's not a crime,
Speaker 2: and he's like, well tell Laura that. And it's like,
Speaker 2: we can't, Elliott, and you are responsible. Craigan pops out.
Speaker 2: Warner called the DNA from the hairs and the fire
Speaker 2: fire escape are not the purps, they're Kendles. But she
Speaker 2: ran those hairs against Pablo Schreiber's. Guess what he is
Speaker 2: not the baby's father, Maury Dune done.
Speaker 3: Okay, why not the father?
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's the poor man's her Aldo, my queen.
Speaker 3: I love Jenny Jones. She was my wheelhouse.
Speaker 2: That was my I love Jenny Jones and Ricky Lake
Speaker 2: the most out of anyone of the daytime talk show hosts.
Speaker 1: And I think some people would say Jenny Jones is
Speaker 1: a poor man's Sally Jesse Raphael, But to.
Speaker 2: Each their own, Yeah, Sally Jesse, I would dabble in,
Speaker 2: but Jenny, that's where the bad teens were.
Speaker 3: And I liked the teens and I liked Rickylake a
Speaker 3: lot too.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Ricky Lake was I've like Jenny was like
Speaker 2: I have sex for a cheeseburger like that.
Speaker 3: I liked that, Like yeah, like bad catch me outside.
Speaker 1: Girls were like lined up outside the block at Jenny Jones,
Speaker 1: Like that's what was happening.
Speaker 3: And then Ricky Lake was more like I hate my
Speaker 3: own race.
Speaker 2: Oh really was that it? What was Ricky Lake or Makeovers?
Speaker 2: Maybe it was more makeover I don't remember, but I
Speaker 2: think Ricky had some wild people on. But you know,
Speaker 2: she was like twenty four when that show started, and
Speaker 2: that's what twenty four year olds looked like. Like that's
Speaker 2: the meme I saw there, Like that's what twenty four
Speaker 2: year olds looked and dressed like in the nineties.
Speaker 1: Wait, what was the show the talk show where a
Speaker 1: girl was allergic to pickles and somebody like ran after
Speaker 1: her with a pickle on the show.
Speaker 2: You're an insane person? That is drag race. That is
Speaker 2: a miss Cracker sketch. No, no, it is.
Speaker 1: But yes, yes, but it's based on something else. There
Speaker 1: was one where it was like confront your fears. Yes,
Speaker 1: you're right, that is from drag Race, But there was
Speaker 1: one that was like confront your fears and they like
Speaker 1: truly ran after someone and she was freaking out on
Speaker 1: TV and I was like, this feels wrong, Like I
Speaker 1: wasn't laughing like I would. It is it is drag Race, No,
Speaker 1: but I think it's based on something drag racey is
Speaker 1: that shit case more?
Speaker 3: He's saying it's more, Yes, who else?
Speaker 2: And then doctor felt like Matteo Lane has a joke
Speaker 2: where he he calls all these people Oprah's horcruxes, and
Speaker 2: doctor Phil is one of her horre cruxes, and they're
Speaker 2: all bad, like anyone that Oprah really endorsed ended up
Speaker 2: being terrible, including Jenny McCarthy.
Speaker 1: I think like I saw this article in New York
Speaker 1: magazine one time that was like too. The cover of
Speaker 1: it was to Oprah's sitting across from each other, and
Speaker 1: the article was all about how like Oprah, let Suzanne
Speaker 1: Summers come on the show and take seventy five pills
Speaker 1: and tells people that that's okay to be taking seventy
Speaker 1: five supplements a day when it's not like so I remember,
Speaker 1: like that was the first time there was like a.
Speaker 3: Crack in the Oprah like armor to me.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: The thing is she did she what started in the
Speaker 2: eighties ended in the two thousands. Of course, there's gonna
Speaker 2: be a couple of bumps in the road, yes, But
Speaker 2: I think even in her later days, she gave platforms
Speaker 2: to bad people with John Science, Yes.
Speaker 3: Doctor she created. Isn't she Rachel Ray too?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 3: But is Rachel Ray bad or just annoying? She's just untalented,
Speaker 3: I think. Yeah. So we're back.
Speaker 2: We're back from the horcrux discussion of daytime television talk shows.
Speaker 2: So anyways, so they're all like, why didn't Laura tell
Speaker 2: us that Dan is not the father? And they're like, well,
Speaker 2: maybe she didn't know that, And Novak's like, well, I'm
Speaker 2: sure the real bio daddy did know that, and he's
Speaker 2: the one that took the baby.
Speaker 3: So now what.
Speaker 2: So now they go to Dan Kazlowski to find out
Speaker 2: if he knew he was raising another man's child. And
Speaker 2: I haven't mentioned for some strange reason, but Dan Kauzlowski
Speaker 2: is Pablo Schreiber like this, Oh yeah, you were.
Speaker 1: Calling him that before. But you didn't actually call attention
Speaker 1: to it. It's Pobla aka porn's dash for Orange is
Speaker 1: the new Black, one of the pokemon we hope to
Speaker 1: catch one day.
Speaker 3: But also William Lewis William Lewis.
Speaker 2: So yeah, so he cannot He can't believe Kendall isn't his.
Speaker 2: Everyone always said, oh he has your eyes, which proves
Speaker 2: everyone's a fucking liar, and all your babies are ugly
Speaker 2: except for Kara's. He asks if he has any idea
Speaker 2: who the father could be, and he's like, well, you know,
Speaker 2: I was hooking up with other girls. I never asked
Speaker 2: if she was hooking up with other guys. One month
Speaker 2: into dating, she said she was pregnant. It was mine
Speaker 2: and that's that. Saber's like, you never doubted it, and
Speaker 2: Pablo's like, he is mine and I like that. He says,
Speaker 2: I love my son, and Stabler asks if Laura ever
Speaker 2: talked about any exes, and he's like, she would have
Speaker 2: nightmares and thrash and say, Patti, Patty, Patty, please don't
Speaker 2: hurt me, Patty. She woke up sobbing, and when he
Speaker 2: asked about it, she said it was an ex who
Speaker 2: used to beat her so Stabler's like, we'll give me
Speaker 2: more info on Patty. He says she wouldn't talk about
Speaker 2: him and she didn't want to go to a shrink,
Speaker 2: but maybe she did talk to Garrett about it. So
Speaker 2: Stabler talks to Garrett, who's gay vibes. So Stabler meets
Speaker 2: him on the streets of New York and wildly Laura
Speaker 2: hung out with a rough crowd.
Speaker 3: I just didn't get that vibe from her at all.
Speaker 2: No, they're playing chandals, Yeah, just playing charades with like
Speaker 2: a little weed and wine, like I don't know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she seemed pretty wholesome.
Speaker 2: So mostly in Attica, and Stabler asked visiting inmates and
Speaker 2: it's actually just a bar, but that was like a
Speaker 2: fun little thing. So it's on Avenue A and that's
Speaker 2: where she met Patty and he was a bad boy, possessive, violent.
Speaker 2: Patty just vanished one day and Laura told Garrett it
Speaker 2: was because he was mixed up in a murder. She
Speaker 2: was totally terrified he would ever come back. And why
Speaker 2: didn't she mention it though? And Stabler is like, can
Speaker 2: Patty be the daddy? And Garrett's like, yeah, it's so
Speaker 2: fucking obvious, and He brought it up to Laura once
Speaker 2: and she flipped out and said, never mention it again.
Speaker 2: He doesn't remember Patty's last name only they only met once,
Speaker 2: and he's like, listen with that temper, I'm sure his
Speaker 2: dumbass is in prison.
Speaker 3: So we're in the office. Benson's at her desk.
Speaker 2: Ruby Morales is clickity clacking checking corrections for Patty. There's
Speaker 2: ony three hundred and seventy two matches, and then he
Speaker 2: narrows it down by some things and it's seven hundred
Speaker 2: and four. And then they narrow it down and then
Speaker 2: a dream team walks in. We got Warner Novak Superstars.
Speaker 2: Melinda's like, you're not going to find him in there.
Speaker 2: So I got Kendall's y chromosomes. I ran it through COTIS.
Speaker 2: The DAD is not in there, so it's like the
Speaker 2: DNA whatever. So the DNA is not in codis. It's
Speaker 2: not going to match anyone that's in prison. But she
Speaker 2: did this new thing. It's running for low DNA alleles,
Speaker 2: which is new, but it's not gonna find the perfect match,
Speaker 2: but he'll find a chill match. So it's not the
Speaker 2: purp but a relation. So a cousin, a father brother.
Speaker 2: So this is actually where Benson is like, oh interesting, wait,
Speaker 2: you can find a family member with this kind of test,
Speaker 2: And again, why is she at the desk? So they
Speaker 2: throw out a net that's allowable, but Ruben is not
Speaker 2: into this and he's like very much and he's like.
Speaker 3: Boohoo, it's not legal. This proves nothing.
Speaker 2: And Melinda's like it's not proof, it's an investigative tool.
Speaker 2: And he's like it's a violation of civil liberties. You
Speaker 2: go after me because my dad's a purp that's guilt
Speaker 2: by association. Saylor's like, I'm more worried about a missing
Speaker 2: kid than your civil liberties.
Speaker 3: Let's go. Ruben turns around dejected and leaves.
Speaker 2: Stablers asks if Casey can make this work in court,
Speaker 2: and she says she'll try, and let's all go shake
Speaker 2: the family tree. So with Kendall's DNA, we got nine hits.
Speaker 2: There's George Kendall is there. So Standler's like, oh, maybe
Speaker 2: she named Kendall after the father. Melinda's like, why would
Speaker 2: you name the child after an abusive X And he's
Speaker 2: like controlled doesn't end after you know the like the relationship,
Speaker 2: does you know? The ConTroll over the victim is still had,
Speaker 2: so we land on George Kendall. It's an old ass man,
Speaker 2: a career armed robber, you know, serving twenty five to life.
Speaker 2: So Stabler's visiting and playing the game for sure. He's like, oh,
Speaker 2: we're just searching for a relative. We found a baby
Speaker 2: whose mother just died. So this is pretty clever. And
Speaker 2: Stable's like, you know, are you ready to be a dad?
Speaker 2: And a guy laughs and is like, can't be me.
Speaker 2: I never had kids. I gave the best years of
Speaker 2: my life to the state. But they're like, so are
Speaker 2: you related to anyone named Patty? And he's like, that's
Speaker 2: a dumb question. We're Irish. All the boys are called
Speaker 2: Patty and he has five brothers ancestors. Anybody has kids, uh,
Speaker 2: one is dead, two are nuns. May have had a
Speaker 2: couple of kids, all girls, but brother Sean, God rest
Speaker 2: his soul, his wife Peggy had a mess of boys.
Speaker 3: It's like, you could have just said Peggy, do you
Speaker 3: know what I mean? Yeah?
Speaker 2: So why are you mentioning the nuns? So they go
Speaker 2: visit Peggy. Classic This is a classic face.
Speaker 3: I would say. Her name is Marion Celdas.
Speaker 2: Celdy's I'm not really sure, but she's a Tony Award
Speaker 2: winning actress. Born in nineteen twenty eight, she did pass
Speaker 2: in twenty fourteen, nominated for five Tony's. She won for
Speaker 2: her first nomination for she was in Edward Alby's A
Speaker 2: Delicate Balance. In twenty ten, she received a Tony Lifetime
Speaker 2: Achievement Award. She has over one hundred credits. She has
Speaker 2: a real evil vibe. Okay, I'm sure she could be kind,
Speaker 2: but she looks like an evil bitch.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 2: She was BIG's mother and sex and the city in
Speaker 2: the didn't realize that.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I also recognize her for Mona Lisa's smile. She was
Speaker 2: the president of the school. Is that a movie for you?
Speaker 2: Is this another blind spot?
Speaker 3: Care? That's a blind spot for me? Never see Mona
Speaker 3: Lisa smile. I feel like you would love it.
Speaker 2: It's like a woman's college education, female bonds.
Speaker 3: You would love this. I bet I would love it.
Speaker 2: I Julia, Jennifer Goodwin, Kristen Dunce, Michelle Williams, No, we else,
Speaker 2: there's more.
Speaker 3: It's star you know what it is.
Speaker 1: It came out when I was living in Italy, so
Speaker 1: I was like it did if it didn't come out
Speaker 1: with like an English version in the theater.
Speaker 2: Then I would be like, Stu, I just missed a
Speaker 2: lot of movies that I write it down. You would
Speaker 2: love Marcia Gay Harden of the Pod, You would love
Speaker 2: Mona Lisa smiles, so she obviously plays a vindictive bitch
Speaker 2: in that. And then cool because we talked to so
Speaker 2: many people that went to Juilliard. She taught acting at
Speaker 2: Juilliard from nineteen sixty seven to nineteen ninety one, Wow,
Speaker 2: and then at Fordham's Lincoln Center campus from two thousand
Speaker 2: and two on. Some of her students were Robin Williams,
Speaker 2: Laura Lenny, Patty Lapone and so really cool and Peggy
Speaker 2: aged not letting them in without a warrant, and he's like,
Speaker 2: come on, we're just trying to find family from an
Speaker 2: orphaned child. And she picks up the newspaper and the
Speaker 2: cases on the front page and she's like, oh, is
Speaker 2: it this one.
Speaker 3: I'm not having it.
Speaker 2: You're bold as brass trying to pin a kidnap and
Speaker 2: on one of my sons.
Speaker 3: I'm obsessed with.
Speaker 2: Her and he's like, no, I'm just trying to find
Speaker 2: the father, and she responds, my brother in law may
Speaker 2: have fallen for that line, but my mother never raised
Speaker 2: any fools. Now you get off my property. So slams
Speaker 2: the door. Elliott calls Melinda immediately. He's like, pull birth
Speaker 2: certificates please, to all kids born to Peggy Kendall.
Speaker 3: So, oh my god, this bitch had eleven kids.
Speaker 2: Very Cara clank and no more your grandmother, my grandma.
Speaker 3: All boys kill me.
Speaker 2: So they pull all the DMV photos of all these boys.
Speaker 2: They play games, ruling some people out in and out.
Speaker 2: Sailor's like, great, let's get the DNA from the others.
Speaker 2: No vax like no dice, low stringency analysis is too circumstantial.
Speaker 2: Only when we narrow it down to one suspect can
Speaker 2: we do that. So he's got to go actually investigate
Speaker 2: into your fucking job, Stabler. So Craigan rushes in. They
Speaker 2: found Kendall. He's alive. He was dropped off at a firehouse.
Speaker 2: Hell yes, no cameras or footage, but we got the
Speaker 2: little baby at the firehouse and we're going to take
Speaker 2: him into the hospital for a full checkup, and the
Speaker 2: cops will meet them there. But not before fucking Cindy
Speaker 2: Marino is there at a prod and pokes Stabler with questions.
Speaker 2: She wants to confirm that the baby has been found.
Speaker 2: Stabler angrily says, you want an exclusive, and she says
Speaker 2: you bet, and he says, contrary to Channel ten reporter
Speaker 2: Cindy Marino's liabless libels, libeless, libeless, that doesn't sound like
Speaker 2: a real word accusations, Laura Kazlowski did not kill her
Speaker 2: son Kendall. He's been found alive and the doctor's like,
Speaker 2: baby boy is fine, well fed, no dehydration, not even
Speaker 2: diaper rash. Someone took great care of him. In runs
Speaker 2: a man looking for the baby. He's one of Peggy's sons.
Speaker 2: I see from the photos from earlier. He's tall. It
Speaker 2: might be important that Kara might know him from Twin Peaks. Yes,
Speaker 2: it's Bobby Briggs and his real name is Dana Ashbrook.
Speaker 1: Yes, he was a pivotal character on Twin Peaks, like huge,
Speaker 1: Like I don't know. I was so young when I
Speaker 1: watched Twin Peaks. I was like, oh my god. He
Speaker 1: has that bad boy energy like in Twin Peaks, big time.
Speaker 2: And Stabler approaches him and asks who are you and
Speaker 2: he says, I'm the baby's father, James Kendall, and Stabler
Speaker 2: gets a sinister look on his face and says, I
Speaker 2: bet people call you Patty. Done done, Okay, so we're
Speaker 2: an interrogation. Patty's like, I don't have time for this.
Speaker 2: It's late. I need to get my son home. And
Speaker 2: they're like, you haven't been in your son's life this long?
Speaker 2: What's the fucking rush now? And Stabler lets him know
Speaker 2: that they're not going anywhere till the DNA results come back,
Speaker 2: and he's like, we look exactly alike. And it's like again,
Speaker 2: like they thought that they looked like the other guy.
Speaker 2: None of this is real, We've learned. Stabler says, your
Speaker 2: name is not on his birth certificate and Patty goes,
Speaker 2: Laura didn't know she was pregnant when they broke up.
Speaker 3: He claims that they were.
Speaker 2: Getting back together and she was just waiting for her
Speaker 2: divorce from Keselowski to be finalized to say they were
Speaker 2: getting back together. Stable's like, why didn't you come forward
Speaker 2: when your child went missing? He's like, I had no clue.
Speaker 2: I was at my cabin, no phone, no TV, nothing,
Speaker 2: and Saber's like, wow, convenient timing. You come back hours
Speaker 2: after your son reappears. He ignores that question and just
Speaker 2: sits down. He then asks any luck finding the guy
Speaker 2: who took him, and Saber looks at him and goes, oh,
Speaker 2: I've got the guy, and he says it really softly,
Speaker 2: and then Patty goes, oh, well, why haven't you arrested
Speaker 2: him yet? No proof? Huh? So he goes, but I'll
Speaker 2: get it. So he responds, well, you let me know
Speaker 2: when you do, and I'd love to get this bastard
Speaker 2: brought to justice. So knock, knock on the glass. It's Craigan.
Speaker 2: The DNA did come back. It is the father. So
Speaker 2: he wants to take his baby home, and that's that.
Speaker 2: He asks if he has a car seat, and it's
Speaker 2: the law you can't leave without one. So Patty is
Speaker 2: fucking annoyed about this, but he goes, my mother will
Speaker 2: bring one. So Peggy is with the baby in a stroller,
Speaker 2: still no car seat. So I don't understand.
Speaker 1: Why is he called Patty if his name is James,
Speaker 1: these boys were all named Patrick.
Speaker 3: You just call boys Patty. Yeah, it might be like
Speaker 3: an Irish I don't know Irish people. Let us know
Speaker 3: what's with the Patty.
Speaker 2: So Peggy's with a baby and Patty is in leather
Speaker 2: and Stabler's like, uh Kazlowski runs in. The elevator doors
Speaker 2: open and he rushes towards the baby. They start to
Speaker 2: fight over the baby. He calls Peggy a crazy bitch.
Speaker 2: Patty is like, that's my mom. So we're gonna have
Speaker 2: a problem. And I love that. They love corraling enemies
Speaker 2: in the elevator lobby. Yeah, there's some shoving. Dan calls
Speaker 2: Patty a psychopath. Patty calls Dan a drug mule. Dan
Speaker 2: punches him. There's a full fistfight, very irish pub bar vibes.
Speaker 2: Peggy and Stabler are trying to separate them and they're like,
Speaker 2: he started it. No, he started it, very grade school vibes. Now,
Speaker 2: arrest him, No, arrest him. Stabler pushes Patty against the
Speaker 2: Wan says, don't push your luck. Don't push your luck.
Speaker 2: Get out of here. He says, ma, get the baby.
Speaker 2: Pablo's face is cut and blood smeared all over. He says,
Speaker 2: this is wrong. Can't you do something. It cuts to
Speaker 2: an office haying where Craigan is like, we have nothing
Speaker 2: on Patty, nothing, He's completely clean, and Saber's like, listen,
Speaker 2: they were not getting back together.
Speaker 3: That is a lie. Laura was terrified of him.
Speaker 2: He kidnapped that baby and when we got close to him,
Speaker 2: Mommy tipped him off and the baby was returned. Novak
Speaker 2: chimes in Laura's suicide gave him custody. Sabler says, Laura
Speaker 2: did not want Patty to have Kendall. We have to
Speaker 2: do something about this. Novak is like, how do you
Speaker 2: know that? Sabler says she was in a custody battle
Speaker 2: with Dan for the baby, so all she had to
Speaker 2: do was tell the court it was Patty's child to
Speaker 2: end it, but she would never So Novak is like, okay,
Speaker 2: I can bring that up in court. But there's still
Speaker 2: another hole. Why didn't she tell us about Patty when
Speaker 2: Kendall disappeared because he was out of the picture. She
Speaker 2: probably didn't even think he knew about the kid and
Speaker 2: definitely didn't want to him finding out about it from us.
Speaker 2: So Craigan brings up the domestic violence, and Novak's like,
Speaker 2: can anyone document any of this? Sablor says, she told
Speaker 2: Dan and Garrett her best friend, and he saw the injuries,
Speaker 2: so she has an idea. We cut to Peggy's house
Speaker 2: and we hear say, you're not putting my grandson in
Speaker 2: foster care. So a child service rep is there and
Speaker 2: that the DA made them aware that the son had
Speaker 2: a history of domestic violence.
Speaker 3: She calls it a pack of lies.
Speaker 2: She says, still, we've done a psych assessment, a home study,
Speaker 2: and we can't let Kendall stay with her son. And
Speaker 2: she says, not over my dead body, and they're like, honey,
Speaker 2: if you interfere, you can be arrested.
Speaker 3: She's so sad. It is a struggle for her.
Speaker 2: She holds back tears, but she hands over the baby
Speaker 2: and lets them all know that she has a very
Speaker 2: good lawyer and we'll get him back. And this isn't over,
Speaker 2: and she glares her famous glare. How do you think
Speaker 2: she has money for, like a great lawyer raising eleven
Speaker 2: kids in Manhattan and it looks like a brownstone?
Speaker 3: Like what's up?
Speaker 1: Well, that's a great question. The Manhattan and the eleven
Speaker 1: kids of it all, that's like not real. But also
Speaker 1: maybe they have like a rent stabilized building because they've
Speaker 1: been there forever. And also maybe the great lawyer is
Speaker 1: like a family friend.
Speaker 3: Got it?
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 2: Now we're back in the Hallway, and Novak's like, oh,
Speaker 2: I'll win for the people to Elliott and Stabler is like,
Speaker 2: we still have to prove that Patty is the kidnapper.
Speaker 2: Then a young woman asks for Elliott and he's like, yeah,
Speaker 2: can I help you? You've been served? And he has
Speaker 2: been served and he's like, can you believe this? Casey,
Speaker 2: and the woman turns back around is like, Casey Novak, cool,
Speaker 2: you just saved me.
Speaker 3: A trip downtown.
Speaker 1: You could have done that part, Lisa.
Speaker 2: That part she's getting served too. Obsessed. I'm obsessed. This
Speaker 2: is the humor. This is the humor we love, and
Speaker 2: this is when it hit me. No Munch, no Finn,
Speaker 2: no Benson. Yeah, but Stabler heavy baby, Peggy said, but
Speaker 2: I want to know what we need to ask mul bear.
Speaker 2: Maybe he remembers, like what was happening during this that
Speaker 2: they were all off work, Like I'm just so curious.
Speaker 2: So Peggy did say she had a good lawyer, and
Speaker 2: it's already coming to use. So Patty is suing Stabler
Speaker 2: and Casey for harassment and violation of his civil rights.
Speaker 2: So eighty a's are supposed to have immunity, though, so
Speaker 2: what's going on? We cut to Judge Elizabeth Donnelly, and
Speaker 2: she's explaining to Casey that the immunity is limited to
Speaker 2: the job. Girl, So if you step outside the role
Speaker 2: by advising police in the investigative phase of a criminal case,
Speaker 2: you step outside, Babe, you're not immune anymore. So she
Speaker 2: should not have been playing cops and robbers with Elliott.
Speaker 2: She says, I mean, let's watch them have sex.
Speaker 3: Please. I feel like Donnelly and Stabler please.
Speaker 2: He asks if they have a case, and Donnelly says,
Speaker 2: the suit has merit and they need to get themselves
Speaker 2: a lawyer today.
Speaker 3: Stabler is like, well, the city.
Speaker 2: Represents cops, and She's like, uh, you trust the civil
Speaker 2: servant to save your house and your pension. Novak's asked,
Speaker 2: like what choice do they have? And I'm getting excited.
Speaker 2: I wonder who it's gonna be. Okay, so Peggy wasn't kidding.
Speaker 2: Patty's lawyer is Granger.
Speaker 1: But like that's a extremely high powered lawyer.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, he does, like the high you know in law.
Speaker 2: Loss Right is like Zapata does the drugg is that him?
Speaker 3: Does he dose a potu? He sure does?
Speaker 2: Yeah, And he just has like I don't know to me,
Speaker 2: he's like from a white shoe law firm, top of
Speaker 2: the top, like.
Speaker 3: They must be. He's not a thousand an hour vibes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: And I'm not saying you can't be like a rich
Speaker 1: person with eleven but with like eleven kids in Manhattan,
Speaker 1: it just seems like a wild connection to be able
Speaker 1: to afford this lawyer.
Speaker 3: I wrote.
Speaker 2: And then for those who don't know, Granger is in
Speaker 2: real life married to Cindy Lapper, Mister Cindy Lopper. He's expensive,
Speaker 2: no morals, rich, evil hair, and he is tap dancing
Speaker 2: in his opening statement, having a blast. He makes a
Speaker 2: good point. This guy has committed no crimes. He truly
Speaker 2: has done nothing wrong, and they've done all of these
Speaker 2: behind the alley things to go to court. He makes
Speaker 2: very strong points, very theatrical. He makes fists in the air.
Speaker 2: There's been a lot of manipulations. I do believe that
Speaker 2: he sucks, but they need evidence. Where is the body
Speaker 2: and they have five witnesses to you know, back all
Speaker 2: this up. And the judge is a severe type of
Speaker 2: classic down to business type of woman as well. Patty
Speaker 2: looks smug, Peggy looks serious as ever. They're suing them
Speaker 2: for cash money, honey. And now it's Judith Light's turn
Speaker 2: to tap dance. She is representing Casey and Elliott. So
Speaker 2: she gets up and she says that Elliott has a
Speaker 2: closure rate of ninety seven percent.
Speaker 3: Loo.
Speaker 2: She says that he's decorated and dedicated. Casey is a
Speaker 2: babe and has a seventy one percent conviction rate and
Speaker 2: the national average is forty four percent. Awards, medals, accommodate, accommodations, commendations,
Speaker 2: and lots of letters from victims, but none of that matters.
Speaker 2: But because this dude wants to go after their reputation
Speaker 2: and he is a liar, a violent man, a batterer.
Speaker 2: I don't believe a word he says. And by the
Speaker 2: time we're through here, neither will you. Yes, bitch, get him.
Speaker 2: I loved her performance here. It was like because Granger
Speaker 2: did so good, I was like, what's Judy gonna do?
Speaker 2: And she did it? And he's on the stand. His
Speaker 2: body language is like too relaxed for my liking. He
Speaker 2: should be sitting more professionally. He has no criminal record,
Speaker 2: or how is that possible? This is like a guy
Speaker 2: that beats the shit out of his girlfriend.
Speaker 1: I just don't get how this man would have like
Speaker 1: no criminal record. Well if Granger's been his fucking lawyer.
Speaker 1: But yeah, no, ire know nothing. He's never even been
Speaker 1: questioned by the police. He says he doesn't drink because
Speaker 1: his dad was a drunk. He promised his mother he
Speaker 1: would do better.
Speaker 2: And then you know, the mom is shamed for drinking
Speaker 2: and smoking weed. There's an objection, it is sustained nothing further.
Speaker 2: Judy stands up, congratulations on keeping your record clean. I'm
Speaker 2: sure you'll agree. You just haven't been caught. And the
Speaker 2: judge is like, Elizabeth, you know better. And I'm like, okay,
Speaker 2: I love you know. I want these judges out for wine.
Speaker 2: So then she's like, fine, if you're such a perfect father,
Speaker 2: then explain to this court why you've never paid child support.
Speaker 2: He quickly has an answer that Laura never wanted him to.
Speaker 2: Then he says that Laura brought Kendall to visit him
Speaker 2: behind Dan back, and she's like, do you have proof,
Speaker 2: and he goes, I didn't know I needed any This
Speaker 2: guy's smooth and this is a well written piece of television,
Speaker 2: and she continues, you didn't know you were a father.
Speaker 2: Laura was so terrified she hid Kendall from you. The
Speaker 2: first time you hit you held him was when you
Speaker 2: stole him from his crib. And then he pulls out
Speaker 2: the sonogram from his pocket and goes, I've been with
Speaker 2: this baby since day one. And then you know, the
Speaker 2: camera goes to tally its face while he's talking, and
Speaker 2: it's his thinking face.
Speaker 3: There's zeroing in.
Speaker 2: It's really intense music, and Donnelley is like, this is
Speaker 2: a really improper way to introduce evidence.
Speaker 3: This is not cool. My experts need to look at
Speaker 3: that photo.
Speaker 2: Next thing we do is jump to Stabler on the
Speaker 2: steps of a fresh crisp morning as Patty is getting
Speaker 2: the paper and he's like, oh, big mistake, you're an idiot.
Speaker 2: He goes hell of a nerve but not a lot
Speaker 2: of brains, but he does get to arrest him, and
Speaker 2: Stabler seems confident. Granger stands up and screams this is harassment.
Speaker 2: Down in interrogation and then a threat about I'll have
Speaker 2: both of your jobs. Casey says, I don't think so
Speaker 2: starts unpacking the box and explaining how it's stuff from
Speaker 2: the alley behind the apartment. So then it's story time
Speaker 2: and They're like, you grab the stuff. The bag broke,
Speaker 2: spilled all the way down. You could only grab what
Speaker 2: you could. And then they're like, well do you have proof?
Speaker 2: And then they're like, well, we have your fingerprints. So
Speaker 2: they say that they have fingerprints off of the second
Speaker 2: sonogram that was found in the trash, So basically, like
Speaker 2: this baby bag exploded, he wanted to grab something, so
Speaker 2: he ripped the sonogram in half, grabbed one end, and
Speaker 2: the second end that he left behind, he left with
Speaker 2: a fingerprint.
Speaker 3: And Grainger's like, okay, let's make a deal.
Speaker 2: So Casey's like, well, obviously we'll start with the civil suits.
Speaker 3: They're dropped.
Speaker 2: You're also going to give up your parental rights, correct,
Speaker 2: and I'll bring it down from kidnapping one to custodial interference.
Speaker 2: That's an e felony, so only between one and a
Speaker 2: half to three years. Sabler says, beats life. He agrees,
Speaker 2: and he's taking the deal. So Sabler then asks how'd
Speaker 2: you find out about Kendall And he says, my mother, Laura,
Speaker 2: was on the street with the boy and the mom
Speaker 2: said that the boy looked just like me as a baby,
Speaker 2: so he knew it was mine. She knew it was mine,
Speaker 2: and she wouldn't stop bothering him, and it was. And
Speaker 2: she always wanted a grandson. And it's like, aren't there
Speaker 2: ten other sons?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you had eleven kids, and you want your beatter,
Speaker 1: loser husband son to have the babies.
Speaker 3: Jesus.
Speaker 2: So she wanted a grandson so bad that you know,
Speaker 2: she said she'd pay for everything and buy him a
Speaker 2: new car. So he didn't even care about this kid.
Speaker 2: He just wanted a car. He did it for a car.
Speaker 2: Casey and Stabl are rare walking off, being like, oh
Speaker 2: my god, the bluff it worked. I can't believe the
Speaker 2: bluff worked with this so they had no finger and
Speaker 2: it worked for me too.
Speaker 3: I totally forgot this car.
Speaker 2: I fell for a hardcore there were no fingerprints, and Lunky,
Speaker 2: we're all lucky, grangered and asked to see proof.
Speaker 3: So maybe he's not as good of a lawyer as
Speaker 3: he thinks he is.
Speaker 2: Kauzlowski's there, like, oh my god, I can really take
Speaker 2: him home. He's so excited. He's going to meetings, no gambling,
Speaker 2: no drinking for a whole week, and he has a
Speaker 2: clean apartment. He's so happy to be a dad.
Speaker 1: But like, back to your original question, are the drug
Speaker 1: dealers just letting him live his life as a single
Speaker 1: dad now, Like I don't know about that, Like he
Speaker 1: owed a lot of money.
Speaker 3: And the other thing is, well, maybe.
Speaker 2: The cops would know that it's them if something happened
Speaker 2: and it's not worth it to them.
Speaker 3: Since the cops let them go.
Speaker 1: Maybe they're all like, let's just call it a wash.
Speaker 1: I don't know, the gamble, like they're still gonna give
Speaker 1: the I don't know. The other thing is is like
Speaker 1: I don't think there's a world where they would give
Speaker 1: the kid back to Kazlowski either, Like I think they
Speaker 1: would search for family members of hers or family members
Speaker 1: of his that aren't bad her, Like one of his
Speaker 1: ten siblings has to be a good person. I think
Speaker 1: they would go blood over this guy who's not blood
Speaker 1: related to the kid, because he never formally adopted him.
Speaker 2: We've talked about this before. But maybe it's because they
Speaker 2: were fighting for custody. Maybe he did have partial visits
Speaker 2: or something.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you are right, You're yeah, I don't know. I
Speaker 1: just like to point out these little weird things.
Speaker 2: Well, I do like that they're starting over in the show,
Speaker 2: there's still going to be a formal hearing, so it
Speaker 2: could see, you know, but Patty will be out of
Speaker 2: his life forever. Maybe they have to do it for
Speaker 2: Patty to be out because Patty is such a violent guy.
Speaker 1: But even like the mom could petition for rights and
Speaker 1: she would get rights over Kazlowski, No, because then she
Speaker 1: couldn't guarantee that Patty wouldn't see the baby, like they couldn't, you.
Speaker 2: Know, like she would let Patty And she did aid
Speaker 2: the kidnap.
Speaker 1: If she yes, if she was officially charged for like
Speaker 1: aiding in the kidnapping, but if she didn't have anything
Speaker 1: to do with it, but she definitely did. She definitely
Speaker 1: helped that kid would have had diaper rash for sure
Speaker 1: if it was just Patty.
Speaker 3: But go on, go on. No, So he thanks them
Speaker 3: and leaves.
Speaker 2: Melinda walks in and apologizes for the new tech expedition
Speaker 2: getting them in trouble, and they're like, who cares, it's
Speaker 2: all the case, It's all that matters. Well and is like, yeah,
Speaker 2: probably won't be around for long, and stablers like, yeah,
Speaker 2: let's use it while we still can to. Milinda is like, yeah,
Speaker 2: your partner already has I actually have results? She asked
Speaker 2: me to run. Can you please give them to her?
Speaker 2: He agrees. He walks it over to Benson, who's still
Speaker 2: at her desk. She congratulates him on closing the patty case.
Speaker 2: He hands over the document, but he's like, you had
Speaker 2: a case, Like, what'd you do kinship analysis for?
Speaker 3: She's like, oh, yeah, cold case. She opens it up.
Speaker 2: He's like, you're working, You're you're not working on any
Speaker 2: cold cases? What is this for? She breathes in. He
Speaker 2: asks again, who's DNA? Did you have tested?
Speaker 3: Live?
Speaker 2: She says mine, I have a brother. End of the
Speaker 2: episode done.
Speaker 1: Don which, by the way, Melinda is incorrect. They are
Speaker 1: still using that kind of DNA analysis and I believe
Speaker 1: that's how they caught the Golden State killer. So like
Speaker 1: we're still using that. I don't know if it's like
Speaker 1: if it holds up.
Speaker 3: But it must. I thank you said. It's not like
Speaker 3: that's it.
Speaker 1: It's an investigative tool, yes, yes, for sure. Yeah, Like
Speaker 1: it's not like this, it's not like DN as definitive
Speaker 1: as DNA, but then you can find someone make connections
Speaker 1: other ways. But I wonder if there's like laws around
Speaker 1: that but anyway, the real life case to this is
Speaker 1: extremely close. So grab a little popcorn and come right back,
Speaker 1: or don't go anywhere.
Speaker 3: I don't know what I'm trying to say. We'll be
Speaker 3: right back with the real case.
Speaker 1: Okay, we are back with a case that I remember
Speaker 1: happening when it happened. This is the story of Melinda Duckett,
Speaker 1: who was a young woman. She was actually born in Korea,
Speaker 1: but adopted by a US family and raised in like
Speaker 1: sort of way upstate New York by like the Canadian
Speaker 1: border until she was seventeen, and then she moved to
Speaker 1: Florida to live with her grandparents. They don't it's very
Speaker 1: I read a lot of articles. It's very unclear why
Speaker 1: she did. So she goes down there. I think she
Speaker 1: finishes high school down there, and she meets Joshua Duckett
Speaker 1: josh Duckett. In high school in Florida, she gets pregnant
Speaker 1: at the end of her senior year. She gives birth
Speaker 1: to a baby boy named Trenton right after they graduate
Speaker 1: in July of four. The Florida Department of Children and
Speaker 1: Families had a long list of incidents between these parents,
Speaker 1: so they're like eighteen year old parents. They're fighting with
Speaker 1: each other all the time. They're constantly making leveling accusations
Speaker 1: at each other. A lot of time stuff was unsubstantiated.
Speaker 1: DCF reported that Melinda also had engaged in self harm
Speaker 1: and had scars from cutting. There was something also when
Speaker 1: the report saying that she is also alleged to squeeze
Speaker 1: Trenton so tight that he sometimes screams, which is not great.
Speaker 1: But other allegations from Josh or that she dangled him
Speaker 1: over water as a threat to him, or held a
Speaker 1: knife up to him and threatened to kill him. But
Speaker 1: later Josh admitted to inventing some of these allegations at
Speaker 1: his mother's request, who wanted custody of her grandson. I
Speaker 1: was reading a bunch of stuff on red and stuff
Speaker 1: that's not necessarily like great sources. But there was some
Speaker 1: speculation that Josh didn't really even want to be a dad.
Speaker 1: He was eighteen years old when the kid was born,
Speaker 1: and that he wasn't really around that much, and that
Speaker 1: it was the mom that really wanted him to fight
Speaker 1: to get Trenton to get custody. So where is Josh's dad,
Speaker 1: you might wonder, just on death row for raping strangling
Speaker 1: and drowning an eleven year old girl. So that's a
Speaker 1: completely separate case.
Speaker 3: Oh my god. I found that out like towards the
Speaker 3: end of my research, and I was like, what the fuck?
Speaker 2: Like crazy, but also just in a more casual sense,
Speaker 2: this like wanting to be a grandparent.
Speaker 3: It's like ghetto.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I had to get to be comparents or
Speaker 2: not on their own. Will this whole thing of we
Speaker 2: want to be grandparents it's kind of sickening.
Speaker 1: I really am against it. It's like not yeah, it's
Speaker 1: like not something I think about or care about.
Speaker 3: Really.
Speaker 1: I mean I obviously would it would be nice when
Speaker 1: I'm older, I guess, but like the obsession is crazy.
Speaker 1: So a review by DCF agents found there were no
Speaker 1: concerns for the boy's safety and that the case did
Speaker 1: not meet the case quote does not meet high risk criteria.
Speaker 1: So DCF was very involved in their lives.
Speaker 3: There's like a long report.
Speaker 1: I linked to the report in my sources or took
Speaker 1: a couple pages of the report that I could find,
Speaker 1: And it seems like the two of them are using
Speaker 1: d Sorry it's DCFS in LA, but DCF as like
Speaker 1: a weapon against each other. So in April of five,
Speaker 1: she he had her committed involuntarily under Florida's Baker Act,
Speaker 1: which allows authorities to commit people for up to thirty
Speaker 1: six hours for psychological evaluations if they appear to be
Speaker 1: a danger to themselves or others. And the report concluded
Speaker 1: that there was no psychological reason that would preclude Melinda
Speaker 1: from being a capable and loving parent. So this seems
Speaker 1: to be another like tactic from Josh and maybe his mom.
Speaker 1: It was probably due to an accusation that he possibly
Speaker 1: made up, or who knows. They did have heated fights.
Speaker 1: It's possible she said things. And there was one point
Speaker 1: where they called a family friend who was a cop
Speaker 1: and they had her on speakerphone and she said something
Speaker 1: about ending it if he doesn't stop doing it, ending it,
Speaker 1: and they thought that was like taking her own life,
Speaker 1: hurting the baby. And it's like she could have been
Speaker 1: talking about ending the relationship. It's very vague what she
Speaker 1: was talking about. And so they were always trying to
Speaker 1: like trap her. It sounds like in ways, but she
Speaker 1: did have some mental health issues, but.
Speaker 2: Like was she keeping the baby away from the grandma?
Speaker 2: Like what was the grandma's issue?
Speaker 1: Well, they were sharing custody at some point, but I
Speaker 1: think they wanted to have full I don't know.
Speaker 3: That's bullshit, I know.
Speaker 1: Especially when it's like your son doesn't seem like he
Speaker 1: really wants to. Oh and another thing I read about
Speaker 1: the Sun was he was like, I'm a spontaneous person,
Speaker 1: and she just wants to have everything planned out every second.
Speaker 1: It's like that's kind of what you have to do
Speaker 1: when you have a kid and you're sharing the kid
Speaker 1: with another person. It's all about scheduling, and like you
Speaker 1: can't just be like, oh, sweet, you want the kid tomorrow.
Speaker 5: Cool?
Speaker 1: You know that's like sorry, bro, You're like surfer lifestyle
Speaker 1: is not going to work for this arrangement. So after
Speaker 1: three months of multiple complaints and of abuse, Josh and
Speaker 1: Melinda get married in July of five. Not a great idea.
Speaker 1: The relationship is obviously rough. They break up and they
Speaker 1: reunite all the time, and then Melinda finally files for
Speaker 1: divorce in two thousand and six.
Speaker 3: The divorce is not good.
Speaker 1: Of course, Trenton is going between fighting parents and at
Speaker 1: one point he's in foster care as well. So like,
Speaker 1: there's a point where I can't tell if it's like
Speaker 1: when they had her, Baker acted that he had to
Speaker 1: go into foster care, but she wanted to foster care,
Speaker 1: I believe, just for a few weeks and she got
Speaker 1: custody back of him, and then Josh kept wanting custody,
Speaker 1: but they the courts kept claiming that he didn't fulfill
Speaker 1: all the requirements, like going to counseling, and he's like,
Speaker 1: it's hundreds of dollars to go to this counseling, which
Speaker 1: I will side with him on that. Like for the
Speaker 1: court to require you all of this counseling that you
Speaker 1: need to see your kid and then not provide the
Speaker 1: counseling for you seems crazy to me. You shouldn't have
Speaker 1: to pay to get your kids back. That seems like
Speaker 1: it's aimed towards people, punishing people from low income and
Speaker 1: I don't really love that. So, but he should be
Speaker 1: dedicated to going and getting the counseling, you know. He
Speaker 1: should be like, his time is what he can give.
Speaker 1: So August twenty seven, of twenty two thousand and six,
Speaker 1: so at this point, Melinda and Josh are twenty. Melinda
Speaker 1: puts trenton to bed at six thirty pm at their
Speaker 1: house home in Leesburg, Florida, which is forty five minutes
Speaker 1: outside of Orlando, Liza's future hometown. A few minutes before seven,
Speaker 1: she checked on him and he was fast asleep. Then,
Speaker 1: much like the in the show, she says, two friends
Speaker 1: came over to watch the nineteen ninety eight Guy Richie
Speaker 1: film lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, which I've never seen.
Speaker 3: I don't know if you have.
Speaker 1: At nine o'clock, when the movie was over, Melinda tells
Speaker 1: police she goes to check on Trenton in his bedroom.
Speaker 3: Just like in the show.
Speaker 1: He's gone and there's a cut the window screen above
Speaker 1: his crib. According to police, she was considered the prime
Speaker 1: suspect because they found some of Trenton's toys and a
Speaker 1: sonogram in the trash of her apartment complex.
Speaker 3: So that's right from the episode.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they didn't arrest her immediately because they thought
Speaker 1: she would lead them to the boy eventually. So it
Speaker 1: was also very similar to what happened in the show
Speaker 1: where she spent the full day, she said, shopping with
Speaker 1: her son. But no, there's no footage of her anywhere
Speaker 1: with the kid. There's no like there's a gas receipt,
Speaker 1: but like nobody saw the kid like, so nobody really
Speaker 1: knows at one point in the day he might have
Speaker 1: gone missing, because she's the only one the friends never
Speaker 1: saw the kid. At one point, she said they were
Speaker 1: going to go look for some kind of forest, like
Speaker 1: the Ocala forest or something, but then they got lost
Speaker 1: and didn't go, so police were checking that forest. They
Speaker 1: were checking all kinds of places looking for this kid everywhere,
Speaker 1: and a few days I just read.
Speaker 3: This, I thought this was kind of interesting.
Speaker 1: A few days after Trenton disappeared, Melinda's grandfather, who shed
Speaker 1: who she had lived with down in Florida, Bill U Banks,
Speaker 1: said he held her hands in his hands and said,
Speaker 1: I want you to look me in the eye. Do
Speaker 1: you know where Trenton is? And she said, Poppy, I
Speaker 1: don't know where Trenton is. And he said he believed
Speaker 1: her and that she had never lied to him before.
Speaker 1: So days later, just like in the show, Duckett is
Speaker 1: interviewed about Trenton's disappearance by Nancy Grace for a pre
Speaker 1: taped segment that would air on the September eighth, two
Speaker 1: thousand and six, episode of her show on CNN. Or
Speaker 1: It's headline news was hl EWN or CNN. I don't
Speaker 1: know what it was at the time. During the interview,
Speaker 1: Nancy Grace accused Ducket of hiding something because she refused
Speaker 1: to take a polygraph, which her divorce attorney avides her
Speaker 1: not to do because polygraphs are junk science, like they're
Speaker 1: not admissible anyway. And I guess she was vague in
Speaker 1: answering some of her questions about like where they were
Speaker 1: that day, and then she tripped up on basic points
Speaker 1: like where they were shopping the day disappeared and so
Speaker 1: so by the end of the interview, Nancy Grace was
Speaker 1: like pounding on her desk.
Speaker 3: Going where were you? Why aren't you telling us where
Speaker 3: you were that day? And so she got this woman
Speaker 3: like pretty upset.
Speaker 1: And the day after the taping of the show, hours
Speaker 1: before it was supposed to air on television, Duckett wrote
Speaker 1: a two page letter addressed to the public, and it
Speaker 1: was all about how much she loved Trenton and how
Speaker 1: sad and angry she was over being ridiculed and facing
Speaker 1: all this quote unquote ridicule and criticism. She wrote that
Speaker 1: the letter was quote a last minute idea, but I
Speaker 1: have felt myself sinking after one week mark of Trent
Speaker 1: being gone. I love him dearly, and he is all
Speaker 1: I was breathing for. He was and always will be
Speaker 1: my essence. And as he grows, I want him to
Speaker 1: know that. And then she continues, I only wish you
Speaker 1: do not push anyone else in the letter. So in
Speaker 1: the letter, she's talking about him like he's alive, Like
Speaker 1: she's saying, as he grows, I want him to know
Speaker 1: how much I love him. She left the letter on
Speaker 1: the dashboard of her car, went into her grandparents' house,
Speaker 1: took a sh shotgun out of her dad's grandfather's closet
Speaker 1: or out of her grandfather's wherever he keeps the shotguns,
Speaker 1: and then went into a closet and shot herself in
Speaker 1: the closet. And she was twenty years old. And it's
Speaker 1: really horrible. And her family blamed her death on all
Speaker 1: the media coverage, specifically Nancy Grace. They filed a wrongful
Speaker 1: death lawsuit against her. They accused her of inflicting emotional
Speaker 1: distress on Melinda, and Nancy Grace told Good Morning America
Speaker 1: that quote, if anything, I would suggest that guilt made
Speaker 1: her commit suicide. To suggest that a fifteen or twenty
Speaker 1: minute interview can cause someone to commit suicide is focusing
Speaker 1: on the wrong thing end quote. She said that while
Speaker 1: she sympathized with the family, she knew from her own
Speaker 1: experience as a victim of crime that people always look
Speaker 1: for somebody else to blame, and that's why the family
Speaker 1: was coming after her with a suit. On November eighth
Speaker 1: of twenty ten, which is four years later, a month
Speaker 1: before the jury trial was scheduled to start, Nancy Grace
Speaker 1: reached a settlement with Melinda Ducket's estate, and it was
Speaker 1: to create a two hundred thousand dollar trust fund dedicated
Speaker 1: to finding Trenton and somebody named j Paul Durat Derrah Tanny,
Speaker 1: a lawyer representing Duckett's family, said in a statement to
Speaker 1: the AP after for it quote. After four years of
Speaker 1: litigation and extensive discovery, the parties now agree that Nancy Grace,
Speaker 1: the producers of her program, and CNN engaged in no
Speaker 1: intentional wrongdoing in the course of dedicating a program to
Speaker 1: finding the missing toddler, as alleged in the lawsuit end quote.
Speaker 1: And the sad thing is is that Trenton has never
Speaker 1: been found, and there have been this Center for Missing
Speaker 1: Unexploited Children has released the footage like of what he
Speaker 1: would look like he was would be about nineteen now,
Speaker 1: I think, And yeah, he's never been found, and it's
Speaker 1: just wild because the cops really just discounted that it
Speaker 1: could be a stranger kidnapping. And I know that stranger
Speaker 1: kidnappings don't happen a lot, but they do happen, and
Speaker 1: they I guess I looked up the forensics. Then with
Speaker 1: the forensics, they could never tell whether the screen was
Speaker 1: cut from inside the house or outside the house. Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: they didn't get like the hair analysis that they got
Speaker 1: in the episode of SVU or someone bumped their head, like,
Speaker 1: so this just this kid disappeared without a trace. It's
Speaker 1: really sad. And his mom did take her own life,
Speaker 1: which is also sad.
Speaker 2: So it's a real tragedy. Just a very chaotic story
Speaker 2: from the start, I know, and.
Speaker 3: Nancy Grace being involved.
Speaker 1: It was funny because I was going back and reading
Speaker 1: old articles on like New York Times and Washington Posts
Speaker 1: and stuff, and like in the comments, all the comments
Speaker 1: are from two thousand and six, you know, and they're
Speaker 1: just like Nancy Grace is what's wrong with journalism? And
Speaker 1: then other people are like, no, she's asking the tough
Speaker 1: questions and they're like, no, wonder we're so divided as
Speaker 1: a nation, And I'm like, God, we were divided back then,
Speaker 1: we're so divided.
Speaker 2: Next, well, I mean, she is a dumb bitch to me,
Speaker 2: but like, no worse than Pierce Morgan, you know what
Speaker 2: I mean. Yeah, she's like I feel all the dude
Speaker 2: news cast her guys are so much worse. So I
Speaker 2: wonder how much of her annoyingness is because she's a
Speaker 2: woman versus like this kind of behavior.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, you could definitely tell what SVU thought of
Speaker 1: Nancy Grace in this episode because they call Cindy Marino
Speaker 1: the devil.
Speaker 3: I feel like multiple times.
Speaker 2: Because there's one interview with Elizabeth Smart where Elizabeth Smart
Speaker 2: hates Nancy Grace.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think she's the one that should be
Speaker 1: doing the compassionate interviews. I think she's the like she's
Speaker 1: the one that's doing the like why isn't anybody looking
Speaker 1: at that? Like I do respect if she's given light
Speaker 1: to cases that wouldn't have been covered, maybe, but I
Speaker 1: don't think you need to scream at a mom. The
Speaker 1: kid's been gone for a week. There's truly no proof
Speaker 1: she did anything to him. She's twenty years old, essentially
Speaker 1: a teen mom, and they're really I don't know, I
Speaker 1: don't know.
Speaker 3: It's just sad.
Speaker 1: It is sad, sad all around. But we're gonna pick
Speaker 1: it back up with really one of that happiest interviews
Speaker 1: we've done in a long time with a very fun person.
Speaker 3: So don't go anywhere.
Speaker 1: Today's guest has been a fixture on sitcoms for the
Speaker 1: past twenty years. You guys know her from starring roles
Speaker 1: on the Jim Gaffigan show, Good Morning Miami and How
Speaker 1: I Met Your Mother. You may also recognize her from
Speaker 1: the recent Sister Swap movies on Hallmark, but you know
Speaker 1: her today as tortured mother of a kidnap baby Laura Kozlowski.
Speaker 1: Please enjoy our delightful chat with Ashley Williams.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for doing this.
Speaker 2: I know we had like Mark for our buddy, Mark
Speaker 2: Foyerstein was like stalking you on our behalf and I
Speaker 2: was like, like.
Speaker 3: I was like, did you ask her? He's like I
Speaker 3: asked her. I was like, we have asked for a
Speaker 3: whole more time. So I'm really good.
Speaker 5: It's really fun.
Speaker 4: It's really fun for me because it's felt like a
Speaker 4: little team of people was stalking me and I'm actually
Speaker 4: very into that, so it may have just made me
Speaker 4: feel a little cooler. And I just appreciate your part
Speaker 4: in that.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Actually, this was what was so great about talking to
Speaker 1: Mark is the first time I know you did tons
Speaker 1: of acting before, but the first time I remember you
Speaker 1: coming on the scene for me was Good Morning Miami,
Speaker 1: which I did watch.
Speaker 4: I mean, I oh, okay, I was in like a
Speaker 4: soap opera in high school. Yeah I saw that, but
Speaker 4: but yeah, that was my first job out of like
Speaker 4: theater school.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: And I saw you had a non verbal role in
Speaker 1: the movie Indian Summer, which I am obsessed with and
Speaker 1: that I was trying to remember.
Speaker 4: Movie and that part was so like, in hindsight, I
Speaker 4: cannot believe my parents let me do that.
Speaker 5: I played. I play at the camp Slut. I was
Speaker 5: like a lesson.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: My mom was like, this is the rocket.
Speaker 1: Yeah, literally, your type, your name of your character is
Speaker 1: not just like a girl's name, it's like the girl's name.
Speaker 1: And then it says the camp sure thing is what
Speaker 1: it says on the IMDb.
Speaker 5: I I just love that. My mother was like, We're
Speaker 5: so proud, were so round.
Speaker 1: Amazing love that though, because I am obsessed with that movie.
Speaker 3: So yeah, Good Morning Miami was like your first big thing.
Speaker 1: You and Mark got to play like opposite each other,
Speaker 1: as like a will they won't they Jim and Pam
Speaker 1: type of situation.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I love that. It was an intense first job,
Speaker 5: you know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like we were like on right after Friends on
Speaker 4: Thursday nights and I was twenty two years old, Like,
Speaker 4: you know, crazy, Well.
Speaker 1: How did you, like, how did your whole I mean,
Speaker 1: you were on a soap opera in high school. I
Speaker 1: know your sister is an actor as well. How did
Speaker 1: your whole like acting journey begin. You saw your sister
Speaker 1: doing it, you wanted to do it. You guys both
Speaker 1: started at the same time.
Speaker 3: What was the deal?
Speaker 4: Oh, basically, my sister's seven years older than me, and
Speaker 4: I to this day basically just want.
Speaker 5: To be her.
Speaker 4: As a child, I followed her around and wore her clothes,
Speaker 4: and then when she became.
Speaker 5: An actress, I was like I want to do that too.
Speaker 4: But it was also really interesting, like we grew up
Speaker 4: my my dad was a writer and we grew up
Speaker 4: like very lower middle class and my sister. We had
Speaker 4: an next door neighbor who was on Another World, which
Speaker 4: was a soap opera that's long gone.
Speaker 5: But my sister was like she was the kind of
Speaker 5: pretty where like people would.
Speaker 4: Stop us in the street and be like, can I
Speaker 4: take a picture of your you know, of your kid.
Speaker 5: And I was the like younger.
Speaker 4: Like like a little bit like hyper freaky, strange, not
Speaker 4: not perfectly like my sister's features are teeny like she
Speaker 4: just is like she's just like a model.
Speaker 5: She's beautiful.
Speaker 4: So but this next door neighbor said, you got to
Speaker 4: get this, you know, kim into acting. And she booked
Speaker 4: a national dairy commercial and made like four times what
Speaker 4: my parents made in a year from that one day
Speaker 4: of work.
Speaker 5: And they were like, you all have to do this.
Speaker 4: So my mom, my mom, my mom brought me and
Speaker 4: my other and we all got headshots and we started
Speaker 4: auditioning and we started like getting commercials, you know, and
Speaker 4: then like our whole life's change. We ended up paying
Speaker 4: for college from that. It was it was actually like
Speaker 4: a very smart move. But consequently suddenly I'm, you know,
Speaker 4: in my mid forties and one of my first credits
Speaker 4: is like camp slut because my mom was like, go go.
Speaker 5: Run, like the just do it.
Speaker 2: It doesn't matter. You know, because you guys were young
Speaker 2: when you started. Did your parents have to be on set?
Speaker 2: And what was their vibe when you were okay with them?
Speaker 5: Okay? Years work, It's really weird.
Speaker 4: My parents came when we would do like commercials and stuff,
Speaker 4: and then my mom came the first couple of days
Speaker 4: I worked on As the World Turns, my soap opera,
Speaker 4: but she had a job like my parents had jobs. Right,
Speaker 4: So basically I became friends with the principal of my
Speaker 4: of my like middle school and high school, and I
Speaker 4: just said to him, listen, I am fine, I if
Speaker 4: my GPA falls below a certain amount, let's get a
Speaker 4: whole host of tutors and do the whole SAG thing.
Speaker 4: Now listen, today this would never but at the time
Speaker 4: he was like, all right, So I had to stay
Speaker 4: on the high on a roll and I had to
Speaker 4: get above like eleven hundred or something on my SATs.
Speaker 4: And then nobody bothered me about the escort like he
Speaker 4: signed everything.
Speaker 5: Wow, it was nuts nuts.
Speaker 3: And you just kind of like self taught yourself.
Speaker 4: You just so I went into school when I wasn't working,
Speaker 4: but I was a contract player. So I was in
Speaker 4: school like maybe two days a week, and then the
Speaker 4: other days of the week I would have like my textbooks,
Speaker 4: and I had like a couple of my friends who
Speaker 4: would bring home copies of the homework and drop it
Speaker 4: off at my house or my parents would go pick it.
Speaker 5: Up, and I would do all my home work.
Speaker 4: And you know, I that was where I realized I
Speaker 4: was like a crazy work ethic genius person, which is
Speaker 4: I'm not lucky particularly like like academia smart, but I
Speaker 4: know how to get work done, do.
Speaker 5: You know what I mean.
Speaker 3: I was handing in That's how I am. Yeah.
Speaker 4: I was handing in papers that were a lot of
Speaker 4: like regurgitation, and I was like always like a solid,
Speaker 4: solid like B minus student. And then I would write
Speaker 4: like an amazing paper about you know, the Gettysburg address,
Speaker 4: and then it would like my would go up a
Speaker 4: little bit.
Speaker 5: So I was like skin of my teeth. I made
Speaker 5: it so he did.
Speaker 4: He was amazing. Doctor Rooney was his name. I don't
Speaker 4: I should find out where he is today. He's probably
Speaker 4: still back.
Speaker 1: To careful going down, careful going down, that I've looked
Speaker 1: up some of my old teachers.
Speaker 3: They're no longer with us.
Speaker 5: That is so sad.
Speaker 3: I'm always like, what happened to my teacher I love?
Speaker 1: And you like get their obituary, but I hope doctor
Speaker 1: Rooney is still taking it.
Speaker 3: So all then, all this time goes by.
Speaker 1: Your you you do, you do, Good morning Miami, And
Speaker 1: now you get this what happens with the SVU?
Speaker 3: Do you just get offered this? What's going on? Like
Speaker 3: tell us the Journey of the SVU.
Speaker 4: It was a freakin' flat offer, which does not happen
Speaker 4: to people like me. It was, yeah, such a big deal.
Speaker 4: And here's the really weird thing. My husband was running
Speaker 4: the New York Marathon the week that I was shooting SVU,
Speaker 4: and he was like, you have to take this because
Speaker 4: then I don't have to pay for road.
Speaker 5: So and also it's over. I wasn't getting you know,
Speaker 5: it's a big deal.
Speaker 3: So yeah, the whole time I was.
Speaker 4: There, like my husband was like running and like icing
Speaker 4: his thighs and you know, getting gear and stuff like that.
Speaker 4: And then he ran it like one of the mornings
Speaker 4: that I was shooting. Oh no, it was because he
Speaker 4: like a Sunday, but it was like over the weekend,
Speaker 4: you know, And.
Speaker 1: So tell us how it was, Like, what was the set? Like,
Speaker 1: did were you a fan of the show going into it?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 3: How did you like?
Speaker 4: What?
Speaker 3: I mean, it's sort of.
Speaker 5: You know, I was definitely. I'm definitely not a person
Speaker 5: that's seen every episode of Law and.
Speaker 4: Order, but but I have gone through phases in my
Speaker 4: life like Law and Order phases in my life, So
Speaker 4: I definitely knew the form, I knew the medium, I
Speaker 4: knew the done done, you know.
Speaker 5: I was into all of.
Speaker 4: That and more than anything else, it just felt like
Speaker 4: such a cool rite of passage as an actor to
Speaker 4: get asked because and still to the like, I actually
Speaker 4: rewatched the episode last night in preparation for our interview
Speaker 4: and the cast of I mean, of all episodes, but
Speaker 4: my episode in particular is so astounding. Marian Selby's I
Speaker 4: mean just the pure I mean, Pablo, so Pablo Schreiber.
Speaker 4: And then here's the crazy thing is I have a
Speaker 4: connection to so many of the people from that episode.
Speaker 5: Now, Pablo Schreiber went to college with my husband.
Speaker 4: I directed a movie two years ago for Lifetime, and
Speaker 4: Diane Neil is my lead and tomorrow Toney is my
Speaker 4: is my number three on that movie.
Speaker 5: So I don't wait, did you know that.
Speaker 3: You direct you? We did a lot watch Circle of Betrayals.
Speaker 5: You guys saw that movie.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, because oh my gosh, yes, Diane Hold did
Speaker 3: alive with us after the movie.
Speaker 1: So Diane told us about you directing this interview. This
Speaker 1: is all coming back to me. I cannot believe. I
Speaker 1: didn't remember this when I was prepping the questions for this,
Speaker 1: but like Diane was like, oh, it's directed by Ashley
Speaker 1: Williams and she's amazing. It's the one where she's like
Speaker 1: the psycho best friend right and like and her like
Speaker 1: she maybe kills her friend's husband.
Speaker 5: So I felt I directed.
Speaker 2: We had just we had just started our podcast and
Speaker 2: we were like, let's do something fun with that, and her,
Speaker 2: like Diane's people gave us like a pre screener of
Speaker 2: the movie, so we watched it and then like right
Speaker 2: after it aired, we did a Live with Diane and
Speaker 2: she came on and like answered questions and we talked
Speaker 2: about it. Because she's been on our pod and is
Speaker 2: like a great supporter of our podcast.
Speaker 3: We love her. Died That is so funny. We've seen it, baby,
Speaker 3: Like my dad.
Speaker 5: Didn't watch that movie. Like I saw that movie. Is amazing.
Speaker 5: Oh that was my directorial debut.
Speaker 3: Oh, we've seen it.
Speaker 1: We saw it because we were like, of course, we
Speaker 1: have to watch it tomorrow Tooney and Diane Neil, like.
Speaker 3: We got a little fan.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we shot that movie, so we got shut down
Speaker 4: in the middle of the pan right when the pandemic started.
Speaker 4: We got shut down, and then two months later we
Speaker 4: picked up. We were one of the first productions back
Speaker 4: in Vancouver, so the fact that we pulled it off
Speaker 4: was kind of a miracle.
Speaker 5: It was amazing.
Speaker 1: Wait, so do you have other connections to other actors
Speaker 1: in this episode besides those three?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 5: Wait wait, I made a list. Hold on. Okay. First
Speaker 5: of all, Oh, yes, okay, here's another crazy one.
Speaker 4: I went to college with Amber Gray, who's the movie
Speaker 4: theater girl from the episode She's.
Speaker 2: Got the curl, the one who's like, I don't I
Speaker 2: don't want to see babies, I don't want to hear Mercy.
Speaker 3: That's like Amber Gray.
Speaker 4: She has a Tony for you know, the Orpheus and
Speaker 4: You're rid of Sea musical.
Speaker 3: Oh, and I went to college with her.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 5: I went to college with Amber Gray.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, she plays Persephone.
Speaker 5: Thank you.
Speaker 3: I can't believe I didn't put that together.
Speaker 5: Wow wow, So that was amazing. Okay, who else Kathleen?
Speaker 5: Is it?
Speaker 4: Selifant? Who's the judge? She and I did a play together.
Speaker 4: Oh here's another really fun one that I thought you
Speaker 4: guys would appreciate. So my sister was in Front of
Speaker 4: the Bride with Beattie Wong.
Speaker 5: Yes, and when I and when I.
Speaker 4: Was there, uh in like you know, shooting the episode,
Speaker 4: they gave me Lung's dressing room. And so I was
Speaker 4: eleven when my sister shot Father of the Bride.
Speaker 5: And remember that I was her.
Speaker 4: Psychotic stalker fan like my own big sister.
Speaker 5: I was her number one fan. Like I saw Father
Speaker 5: of the Bride.
Speaker 4: I used to just watch it every day after school
Speaker 4: just to sort of it was like church for me, right,
Speaker 4: Like it's like, imagine if your sister is like Julia Roberts,
Speaker 4: like you just.
Speaker 3: You know, yeah.
Speaker 1: It's also was just such a big movie at that time,
Speaker 1: Like I'm your age, and like I feel like we
Speaker 1: just were all obsessed with Father of the Bride.
Speaker 3: And she is like this star of this movie and
Speaker 3: you're like.
Speaker 4: Wow, Like I don't know, I like imagine being her
Speaker 4: little sister, and the like idea of like we were
Speaker 4: in the same womb. I could have been her, she
Speaker 4: could have been me, like she basically met me, you know,
Speaker 4: just so funny. So so anyway, I met Betty Wong when
Speaker 4: I was eleven, and I went and forced her to
Speaker 4: make me an extra.
Speaker 5: In the movie.
Speaker 4: And so when I was there, I left bed Wong
Speaker 4: like I wrote him a letter.
Speaker 3: Cute Williams.
Speaker 4: I was eleven years old when I met you, and
Speaker 4: I like wrote him this a whole letter, and I
Speaker 4: never heard from it.
Speaker 5: I gave him my phone number. You never you.
Speaker 3: I bet he thought it was cute. I bet he
Speaker 3: was just busy.
Speaker 4: He's probably really moved overwhelmed.
Speaker 1: So this is a very Christopher Maloney heavy movie with you.
Speaker 1: Like he clearly I mean movie episode. This episode is
Speaker 1: very heavy with you and Christopher Maloney. How was working
Speaker 1: with him?
Speaker 4: I think I caught him right at like a heavily
Speaker 4: fatigued with the genre moment. You know, he was all business.
Speaker 4: He was I felt like, you know, kind of just
Speaker 4: like let's just let's go, let's go, let's get through this,
Speaker 4: you know, yeah, and uh so, But I also I
Speaker 4: don't know what it's like to, you know, to do
Speaker 4: the same thing over and over and over again for
Speaker 4: so many years in a row. I've never been that successful.
Speaker 3: So, you know, I had know it was season eight.
Speaker 3: It was season eight. He had been doing it for
Speaker 3: a while.
Speaker 1: But what about when he's what about when he's taking
Speaker 1: you off of the fan and like your little rag
Speaker 1: doll body is in his hands.
Speaker 3: You guys didn't bond.
Speaker 5: First of all, thank you for calling me little.
Speaker 4: Second of all, I mean, I do remember it being
Speaker 4: very difficult because he was like right here.
Speaker 5: He was like I had to be like, you know, like.
Speaker 4: Dead body, dead face.
Speaker 3: You guys are dancing cheek to cheek on me.
Speaker 4: I remember consciously wanting to smell him, but my character's
Speaker 4: not breathing, so I had to be like, don't smell
Speaker 4: Christopher Maloney right now, don't smell.
Speaker 5: Him because you're not allowed to breathe because you're dead.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 5: But yeah, we spent a lot of time on that
Speaker 5: like harness situation.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because we talked to another person on our podcast
Speaker 1: who met the same end as your character, and she
Speaker 1: told us about it's like a full harness that keeps
Speaker 1: you up and like it seems like it was hardcore.
Speaker 4: It was like it went they had me in that
Speaker 4: big sweatshirt because it went like around.
Speaker 5: I can't really remember, but I remember there being.
Speaker 4: Like hardcore hard plastic things because it hooked into the back,
Speaker 4: you know, and it was the I remember the stunt coordinator.
Speaker 4: I had to build it and it was complicated.
Speaker 5: We had to have like a lot of fittings and you.
Speaker 2: Know, it was this was like, gosh, such a small moment,
Speaker 2: but I loved your acting when like Stabler's talking to
Speaker 2: you and you're like, well, why do I have to
Speaker 2: do this? And he's like a mother actually worried about
Speaker 2: her kid would let you, and then you kind of
Speaker 2: just have this face that I really love, you know.
Speaker 4: It was a saying that something that bothered me about
Speaker 4: my own acting as I watched it last night was
Speaker 4: that I had all these copious tears and I just
Speaker 4: I never wiped them. Like who cries that hard and
Speaker 4: doesn't wipe their face? But I think somebody had told me,
Speaker 4: if you have achieved tears, don't wipe them away because
Speaker 4: then the audience won't know that you were actually crying.
Speaker 4: So I think I remember like producing copious emotional tears
Speaker 4: and not allowing myself to wipe them off, And in hindsight,
Speaker 4: I was furious with myself for not wiping them.
Speaker 3: Because you don't.
Speaker 4: Nobody does that. People cry and wipe the whole time,
Speaker 4: you know. Yeah, the tears just sat on my face.
Speaker 5: And rolled and I didn't touch them.
Speaker 2: But not if you're like in true agony, I think
Speaker 2: you might not be thinking about that because something about
Speaker 2: when kids really cry, they don't wipe it around.
Speaker 5: Thank you for justifying that terrible choice I made.
Speaker 4: You're right, his kids are like unsolf So maybe she's
Speaker 4: like un self conscious.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's just like so and there.
Speaker 5: Buying it, buying it.
Speaker 3: She's sad. Wait, is your husband an actor as well?
Speaker 4: No, he's a reformed actor. He's a producer. He got
Speaker 4: an actual real job.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and he does your stuff. Yeah.
Speaker 5: Well, work together when I can rope him into it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well that's so an. It's sister swap. So you
Speaker 3: work with your family often.
Speaker 5: Well, I mean sister swap was the first time I
Speaker 5: worked with my sister.
Speaker 3: And that's for our listeners, Just for our listeners. Sister swap.
Speaker 1: Are these Hallmark movies that you and your sister do together,
Speaker 1: And what's the premise that you guys switch lives or
Speaker 1: you don't look that much alike that it's like it's
Speaker 1: not like a twin swap, but like it's like a
Speaker 1: wife swap.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Well, yeah, we definitely made that joke.
Speaker 4: Well, the idea is, it's two movies, okay, and we
Speaker 4: are working on more, but we shot two movies and
Speaker 4: it's city mouse, Country mouse, who basically switch right, So
Speaker 4: we I live in her house and do her thing
Speaker 4: and she lives, you know, in mine, and we sort
Speaker 4: of switch which mouse are you? I'm I'm country mouse
Speaker 4: goes to the city okay, and she comes home because
Speaker 4: I take Yeah. So, but it was really cool because
Speaker 4: those movies were really outside the box for Homewark, you know, well,
Speaker 4: especially at the time.
Speaker 5: Now they're kind of like doing all kinds of.
Speaker 4: Fun stuff, but this was a couple of years ago
Speaker 4: and it was really kind of like an innovative idea.
Speaker 4: And then what was really fun was that Dan Harmon,
Speaker 4: that comedy writer, got drunk this past Christmas and happened
Speaker 4: upon them and became as with the idea of two
Speaker 4: movies that were shot that were crossboarded, so we shot
Speaker 4: two movies, but a lot of the scenes were in
Speaker 4: common but shot in a different way. And he thought
Speaker 4: that was brilliant and then repeatedly Instagram posted about it,
Speaker 4: and it actually forced Hallmark to re air both movies
Speaker 4: back to back to great ratings. That's because of Dan Harmon.
Speaker 4: So I am like actively speaking of Stocking trying to
Speaker 4: get him to collaborate with me on the next Sister movie.
Speaker 3: So, you know, I love that. I love this.
Speaker 5: It's so good. Right.
Speaker 4: It was by like BuzzFeed, and I did an interview
Speaker 4: with The Daily Beast, and you know, everybody was like
Speaker 4: because at the time it sort of like went a
Speaker 4: little bit under the radar, but when Dan Harmon had
Speaker 4: too much eggnog, it had this whole researches this past year.
Speaker 3: I was really grateful. I love that. That's really fun.
Speaker 2: Wow, And did your little sister heart just fill with
Speaker 2: joy getting to work with her sister?
Speaker 4: You guys, my sister is like she's hit the coolest
Speaker 4: to this day, to this day, she's just amazing, So,
Speaker 4: you know, getting to do scenes with her and like
Speaker 4: I just you know, it was heaven I would do
Speaker 4: any love in a heartbeat.
Speaker 1: I feel like there's no like I know other sisters
Speaker 1: that are actors and it does not turn out like this,
Speaker 1: Like they are like so competitive and don't understand each other,
Speaker 1: and like it's really nice.
Speaker 4: I think the dynamic with us is very clear, which
Speaker 4: is like, there's no competing with her because she's so cool.
Speaker 5: So that's all that has to happen.
Speaker 4: Is I just love on her and she I, thank god,
Speaker 4: is incredibly generous and patient with.
Speaker 5: Me, so it really works out. But there's a clear
Speaker 5: leader between the two of us.
Speaker 1: I wanted to ask you also about the Make Her
Speaker 1: Mark program that I think you started or founded or
Speaker 1: tell me about that.
Speaker 4: Thank you so much for us about this. This is
Speaker 4: the thing I'm the most excited about. So yeah, I mean,
Speaker 4: I've been working for the Hallmark Channel for a couple
Speaker 4: of years, and you know, one of my favorite things,
Speaker 4: other than sort of just the feel good nature of
Speaker 4: the material, is that it's always about these sort of
Speaker 4: female forward characters who are not interested in love and
Speaker 4: then you know, against even their own best instincts.
Speaker 5: They sort of fall in love.
Speaker 4: But it's about it's these female centered stories and I realized,
Speaker 4: after like my fifth or sixth Hamewark movie, I'm like,
Speaker 4: all of these are directed by men, you know, what
Speaker 4: is going on? And so, you know, I did some
Speaker 4: research and I realized that out of one hundred movies
Speaker 4: that Hallmark makes a year, a hundred that year that
Speaker 4: I realized this, only eight of them were directed by women. So,
Speaker 4: you know, I sort of started to do some digging,
Speaker 4: and uh, you know, the truth is, these movies are
Speaker 4: shot for so little money, and you can't you need
Speaker 4: you need a veteran director, right, you need somebody that
Speaker 4: everybody trusts, that knows how to run a crew that
Speaker 4: can shoot at full length feature in fifteen days for
Speaker 4: pretty low budget, you know, and there just aren't that
Speaker 4: many women trained in that, right.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 4: I went to our sort of higher ups and they said, well,
Speaker 4: you know, can you do some more research and come
Speaker 4: back to us. So then I started meeting with the
Speaker 4: heads of all the diversity inclusion programs in our industry
Speaker 4: and forcing them to give me advice about how to
Speaker 4: start a women's directing program at Hallmark. And I got
Speaker 4: amazing advice and have you know, kind of like a
Speaker 4: little collection of very wise individuals helping me, and finally, you.
Speaker 5: Know, Hallmark was on board. We figured out how to
Speaker 5: make it pay for itself because basically, the.
Speaker 4: You know, what makes our program different than others is
Speaker 4: that we employ our women.
Speaker 5: So we train them.
Speaker 4: So we find a men team who is so somebody
Speaker 4: who has some experience in directing but would never probably
Speaker 4: get her own movie.
Speaker 5: At this point, and then we give her.
Speaker 4: We pair her with a directing mentor okay for all
Speaker 4: of prep, all of shooting, and for as much of
Speaker 4: post as as possible. She shadows that directing mentor for
Speaker 4: the entire movie, and then they switch and that mentor
Speaker 4: becomes her creative producer and she has her directorial debut.
Speaker 5: So not only are we employing her.
Speaker 4: But we're also making sure that there's somebody there helping her,
Speaker 4: advocating for her, making sure that she absolutely nails it
Speaker 4: so that she can get hired in the future. So
Speaker 4: it's called make Her Mark. And we have our very
Speaker 4: first mentee, Crystal Lowe, who's an incredible director. She's directed
Speaker 4: a bunch of short films.
Speaker 5: She's been pounding the pavement as a director for fifteen years, writing,
Speaker 5: applying to programs, shadowing, working no one trusted her with
Speaker 5: a movie right because she's new.
Speaker 4: So she's on set right now with Jessica Harmon, who's
Speaker 4: on her thirteenth Hallmark movie that she's directing in the
Speaker 4: last two years, and she's shadowing Jessica, and then Jessica
Speaker 4: is going to become her creative producer for Crystal's directorial
Speaker 4: debut this year. So a female director is born, thank
Speaker 4: you very much, and we're going to be doing two
Speaker 4: more this year. So that's three in our pilot program
Speaker 4: and in success. I am gonna not have it stop
Speaker 4: at directors. I want to do it for writers, producers, dops.
Speaker 4: I think, you know, given the just the sheer quantity
Speaker 4: of shooting that Hallmark does, I think there's no reason
Speaker 4: why we can't have a shadow slot on every Hallmark
Speaker 4: movie to create, you know, really a training ground for
Speaker 4: women behind the camera.
Speaker 2: Well I love that it's not just shadow, but then
Speaker 2: they get an opportunity to immediately use all of these skills.
Speaker 3: That's like so innovative.
Speaker 1: I love that, Thank you, And they have someone that
Speaker 1: has their back so that they're not just like thrown
Speaker 1: into the deep bat too, Like, I ah, what a
Speaker 1: great idea.
Speaker 3: Wait, thank you.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm really proud of it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so go check out my Instagram page. We have
Speaker 4: more information about you know, the rest of the year's
Speaker 4: mentees and then how to apply in the future.
Speaker 5: We're working on it.
Speaker 2: Awesome, awesome, Yeah, totally. We'll shut this out on the pod.
Speaker 1: I'm so excited that Mark was not afraid to ask
Speaker 1: you a second time and that this all worked out,
Speaker 1: and it was so great to meet you. Hopefully we'll
Speaker 1: run into each other in Los Angeles.
Speaker 5: Yeah, thank you so much. You guys, we've.
Speaker 1: Maybe never met such a positive person. She's like the smiliest,
Speaker 1: most positive person.
Speaker 2: And there's it's there. I don't see a seething anger underneath.
Speaker 3: Yeah. No, there's not like a fake like darkness. I don't.
Speaker 3: I don't sense that.
Speaker 1: She just seems like she loves her life, loves her
Speaker 1: sister like.
Speaker 2: And there's not a Jesus freak underneath either. You know,
Speaker 2: there's not like a Lord light either. It's like, I mean,
Speaker 2: don't tell Hallmark that, but yes, well she could just
Speaker 2: she could, like the lore, but it's that's not that's
Speaker 2: not the kindness defining Yeah no, it's it's just the kindness,
Speaker 2: you know, that that I'm sensing she could be she
Speaker 2: could be doing what Paul Bettany did in that What
Speaker 2: does that mean when you're hitting yourself with the leather
Speaker 2: on your back? Oh self flagellation. Yeah, but what's that movie?
Speaker 2: It's she could be doing that all night. He's like
Speaker 2: a monk that like whip. Some say yeah, yeah, yeah
Speaker 2: that really that movie really had a hold on the
Speaker 2: culture for a couple of years.
Speaker 3: The book, I mean, I read the book too, like
Speaker 3: that was the book.
Speaker 1: I loved the book, and everyone's like, the book is terrible,
Speaker 1: like and I'm like, oh, I loved it, and it's
Speaker 1: like a huge bestseller.
Speaker 3: It was the fifty Shades of Gray of its.
Speaker 1: Time, I guess, although I think Dan Brown's a better
Speaker 1: writer than the Fifth Shades Lady for sure.
Speaker 2: Both just seems sexy, dark and whipping a lot of whipping,
Speaker 2: and in both yeah, whip whipping in sex.
Speaker 3: What did we learn here?
Speaker 1: What's our post mortem on this episode? I mean, as always,
Speaker 1: we're way too hard on mothers, single mothers, new mothers,
Speaker 1: Like everybody just fucking calmed down. Let this woman help
Speaker 1: you find her son instead of I miss shaming her
Speaker 1: on television for smoking a little weed and having a
Speaker 1: charade party.
Speaker 2: I missed when the news was the news, Yeah, when
Speaker 2: it wasn't just sensationalized wild behaviors.
Speaker 1: Oh but speaking of this, I did not cut my cable,
Speaker 1: but I downgraded to this package where you can pick
Speaker 1: fifteen channels and you get local channels too, so I
Speaker 1: can watch like the Oscars and.
Speaker 3: What is this? This is what I want to get
Speaker 3: from my mother? What is this?
Speaker 1: It's Spectrum and it's called like something choice, my choice
Speaker 1: or something on spectrum. So you get all the local
Speaker 1: channels and then you get to pick fifteen cable channels.
Speaker 3: I don't know if they'll be Russian channels. Well, well my.
Speaker 2: Dad has the Russian channels downstairs, but upstairs my mom
Speaker 2: needs like some cable.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, so I chose no Fox News and it's
Speaker 1: just going to be so great when my parents come
Speaker 1: from and they try to flip it on because I
Speaker 1: read I heard on this podcast that Fox News doesn't
Speaker 1: even make its money from advertising. Like the only people
Speaker 1: who fucking advertise on there are like my pillow and
Speaker 1: like really bad products. Anyway, they don't get blue chip
Speaker 1: advertising like BMW is not advertising on Fox News they
Speaker 1: get most of their money from people's cable fees, from
Speaker 1: carriage fees as they were called. And when I heard
Speaker 1: this on a podcast, I was like, I'm paying to
Speaker 1: keep Fox News in business by having cable, So I like,
Speaker 1: I wanted to reduce my cable anyway and get my
Speaker 1: bill lowered. So here I am not no longer accessible
Speaker 1: in my home.
Speaker 3: I can't wait for your mom to have a little meltdown.
Speaker 3: Is that where it goes down?
Speaker 1: Well, I have CNN, and I think I have BBC
Speaker 1: and she can deal with that.
Speaker 3: I'm so excited. Yeah, I can't wait.
Speaker 1: I'm in a videotape, but I think, I mean, no
Speaker 1: plans for her to come right now, but can't wait.
Speaker 2: But also, grandma's you can't just snatch like this this
Speaker 2: narrative of grandparents demanding grandchildren that's out, Yes, it's out out.
Speaker 2: Yeah godparents in demanding grandchildren out. Yes, it's rude and
Speaker 2: weird and like adopt a foster kid, become a pot.
Speaker 1: To a parent like yeah, figure out a hobby like yeah,
Speaker 1: it's so it's more of this like spreading your seed
Speaker 1: and your lineage and all this stuff that's like so bizarre.
Speaker 3: No, I've talked about this. My mom and I have
Speaker 3: this discussion.
Speaker 2: Your parents just want you to suffer the way they've
Speaker 2: suffered or or experienced the joys they've experienced. But it's
Speaker 2: so you can they can relate to, Like, so you
Speaker 2: can experience what they've experienced because you were a mean teen,
Speaker 2: and then when your kid's a mean teen, you can
Speaker 2: think of them when they're dead. That's that's what being
Speaker 2: that's what they really want. They want when they're long gone,
Speaker 2: for your teen to scream I hate you to you
Speaker 2: and slam the door in your face and for you
Speaker 2: to go, oh, that's what I did to my mother.
Speaker 3: Now, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then that's that so then when they're in
Speaker 2: their grave they can go, that's that's what I lived for.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're right, that's really the circle of life.
Speaker 2: It's like not revenge, but petty petty understanding, like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not revenge, it's yeah, it's hard to break
Speaker 1: out of the cycle of what you know, like everybody
Speaker 1: just thinks do it the way I did, Like, we
Speaker 1: do it the way Ilway did it. I mean, that's
Speaker 1: conservatism anyway. And now my parents don't get Fox News
Speaker 1: at my house anymore, so the cycle is broken.
Speaker 3: Yeah, don't you.
Speaker 1: Want them to visit now even faster than before? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I like don't even want my idea. I don't normally
Speaker 1: want my dad to even come visit, but I'm like,
Speaker 1: come now, you can come visit now, Like I just
Speaker 1: want you to come. But let's get into this week's
Speaker 1: what would Sister Peg Do? This is our weekly segment
Speaker 1: where we point you to an organization, a blog post,
Speaker 1: a podcast episode, an article, something to help you get
Speaker 1: more information about what we learned about in today's episode.
Speaker 1: And you know, Laura Kazlowski's character had been the victim
Speaker 1: of domestic violence and it forced her into like a
Speaker 1: relationship with another guy who had like gambling problems, and
Speaker 1: you know, I just sort of saw the sort of
Speaker 1: way that it was. And then the real life story
Speaker 1: had seemed like it had at the very least emotional
Speaker 1: abuse going on in it. So I thought I would
Speaker 1: point you guys this week to an organization called Life Wire.
Speaker 1: Their mission is to end domestic violence and create a
Speaker 1: world where every person lives in a safe environment, free
Speaker 1: from oppression and with the opportunity to thrive. They provide
Speaker 1: path to safer housing because domestic violence is a leading
Speaker 1: cause of homelessness among women and children in the US,
Speaker 1: and they're actively working to change systems that perpetuate racism
Speaker 1: and a quality even within their own organization. So for
Speaker 1: more info on that, you can go to lifewire dot
Speaker 1: org and that will be posted on the day that
Speaker 1: the episode is released on our stories and saved forever
Speaker 1: in a highlight on our Instagram called WWSPD two. Because
Speaker 1: we're on our second batch of these now and next
Speaker 1: week's episodes.
Speaker 3: Did you hear that?
Speaker 2: Plur it will be lost reputation and above suspicion. It's
Speaker 2: a double and that's season fourteen episodes one end two.
Speaker 2: Get your peacock and Hulu on and join us next week.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much, enjoy your lives. Bye. That's Messed
Speaker 2: Up as an exactly right production.
Speaker 1: If you have compliments you'd like to give us or
Speaker 1: episodes you'd like us to cover, shoot us an email.
Speaker 1: That's Messed Up Pod gmail dot com.
Speaker 2: Follow the podcast on Instagram at That's Messed Up Pod
Speaker 2: and on Twitter at messed Up Pod, and follow us
Speaker 2: personally at Kara Klank and at glitter Cheese.
Speaker 1: As always, please see our show notes for sources and
Speaker 1: more information.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much to our producer Kac O'Brien.
Speaker 1: And to our mixer John Bradley and our guest booker
Speaker 1: Patrick Cottner, and to Henry Kaperski for our theme song
Speaker 1: and Carly gen Andrews for our artwork. Thank you to
Speaker 1: our executive producers Georgia hard Start, Karen Kilgareff, Daniel Kramer,
Speaker 1: and everybody at Exactly Right Media, Dead The dun