Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazer past Gazers. Nicky, Hello here, I am
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Show with the Nicki Glazer Podcast. I'm
Speaker 1: Nicky Glazer. I'm in Los Angeles. That's Andrew Colin. He's
Speaker 1: in St. Louis. He looks like he's meditating because this
Speaker 1: camera's frozen. To me, he looks like he is, indeed,
Speaker 1: but he looks like he's about to self emoliate, like
Speaker 1: one of those monks who lights himself on fire. That
Speaker 1: he looks like he's in that pose. And then uh Noah,
Speaker 1: of course is in Arizona. How are you guys doing today?
Speaker 1: Are our Monday episode was done on Friday, so I
Speaker 1: haven't talked to you guys kind of all weekend. Uh,
Speaker 1: weekend was good? Um, how is open for David? You
Speaker 1: mean how he ended for me? Yeah? How was? Uh? Yeah?
Speaker 1: How was just clearing the way for David Spade to
Speaker 1: just come in and do a closing set after your
Speaker 1: ten minutes? Um? You know reverse headline? Well it was,
Speaker 1: it went well. I think I'll give myself a B.
Speaker 1: It's funny beforehand and texting exchange when you don't know
Speaker 1: a bigger comedian you don't know, Uh, the etiquette of
Speaker 1: whether to joke right away to be too jokey through text,
Speaker 1: And he wrote me He's like, yeah, I'll let you
Speaker 1: know I'm about to go on stage about dinner tomorrow,
Speaker 1: blah blah. And I was like, yeah, you know, break
Speaker 1: the audience's legs, like just a quick little quip, like
Speaker 1: a twist on break your way. Oh, I see what
Speaker 1: you were doing there. Wow, you're really turning that joke
Speaker 1: on its head. So did you think before you said
Speaker 1: that though, Like was that just the first thing you
Speaker 1: thought of, or was that a little bit did you
Speaker 1: like running by Brenna? Did you run it by any one?
Speaker 1: I obviously didn't run it by anyone except for my
Speaker 1: putter because I was on the putting green and I
Speaker 1: was just like, this will be a silly little quip
Speaker 1: and radio I'm off the show. Honestly, Break the audiences
Speaker 1: uh legs is like something that It's so funny because
Speaker 1: men when they text celebrities is like the way women
Speaker 1: are when they're texting men, like we overthink it. Like
Speaker 1: that's what I would write David Spade if I was
Speaker 1: trying to flirt with him, if I was like a
Speaker 1: girl is like and I didn't know about stand up.
Speaker 1: I'd be like, what what is I don't want to
Speaker 1: say like break a leg because that's like so like lame.
Speaker 1: I don't want to say like have a good set
Speaker 1: because like that's too generic, Like I want to like
Speaker 1: that is like exactly what I would write if I
Speaker 1: was like nervous to talk to a comedian and I
Speaker 1: didn't do a thousand percent that break the audience is like,
Speaker 1: So then I go, I should have just wrote have
Speaker 1: a good show where it sounds good, sounds good. I'm
Speaker 1: off the show, Oh my god. But then the next
Speaker 1: day he goes to as you know, audio text and
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, I'm reading it all wrong. And we
Speaker 1: had a great exchange before this show, back and forth,
Speaker 1: just voice, you know. He goes, you know, I know
Speaker 1: you're just opening for me, but you're not the opener.
Speaker 1: You're just a comedian on the show. I know that.
Speaker 1: I go, look, I have no ego in this. I'm
Speaker 1: your opener. But if I could do a short Q
Speaker 1: and A towards the end of year, said and come
Speaker 1: back and we could cross promote, that'd be great, just fun.
Speaker 1: I got myself back. I thought I was doing a
Speaker 1: good job the audiences legs together and you did like
Speaker 1: a call back to you. I just love how don't
Speaker 1: You're one of the funniest people ever. But break the
Speaker 1: audiences Legs is just so just it's just not your
Speaker 1: best work, but it's so funny because it almost is
Speaker 1: your bust sword because it's so bad, like it's something.
Speaker 1: It's just that's what I was going for. I really was.
Speaker 1: I really was. I was like, I hope he sees
Speaker 1: that I'm that's what your aunt with Sadie. I don't
Speaker 1: know if he did, like how you know what they
Speaker 1: usually say, break a leg, but I'm saying break the
Speaker 1: audiences leg Yeah. He's a big voice voice uh noter
Speaker 1: and I like those. I like those. It's fun and
Speaker 1: I um, it's so funny, like you talk about trying
Speaker 1: to be like cool on text, like I'm one to talk,
Speaker 1: like when literally I'm one to talk because when I
Speaker 1: do a voice momo back to him, I will do
Speaker 1: them like sometimes four times in a row, and I'll
Speaker 1: like recreate spun seemingly the things that happened that were
Speaker 1: spontaneous in the moment, Like I'll like, it's just so
Speaker 1: because I wanted to be funny and charming, and and
Speaker 1: then and then I just realized, like he likes me
Speaker 1: for me, not because I'm really super quirky, you know,
Speaker 1: like he just likes I realized my friendship with him
Speaker 1: UM is really based on me just getting a huge
Speaker 1: kick out of him. Like he enjoys me because I'm
Speaker 1: a good laugher and like he doesn't he has I'm
Speaker 1: not like the the I'm nowhere as near as quick
Speaker 1: as him. I never will be UM, And I just
Speaker 1: have a better time setting him up and like celebrating
Speaker 1: how funny he is. So it's like kind of just
Speaker 1: a relationship where I go like, what about this joke
Speaker 1: you do? And this joke and like like I just
Speaker 1: reference stuff he does all the time and he gets
Speaker 1: a kick out of it, whereas if someone references jokes
Speaker 1: I do, I'm like, please don't remind me of how
Speaker 1: lame that was. Oh my god, Oh my god. So
Speaker 1: I have such a funny story though. So then we
Speaker 1: do the show. You know, uh, it went great the
Speaker 1: interactions in the green room, although I didn't I don't
Speaker 1: think I seem too thirsty whatever, Like I honestly think
Speaker 1: show went great. I watched his set. He did great.
Speaker 1: Whatever fun is he? Um, he's very funny. He did
Speaker 1: very well at the crab story. Have you seen this yet?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, My my parents also talked to me
Speaker 1: about the crab thing, and I'm like, you mean the
Speaker 1: crab in the cabinet and the crab room and there's
Speaker 1: at least like four thousand crabs per room at minimum,
Speaker 1: and how crabs are just spiders with good pr Like
Speaker 1: I have David Smith's set memorized, like I'm obsessed with
Speaker 1: the crab bet. It's from what he was doing Bachelor
Speaker 1: Paradise and he was hosting down there and and like
Speaker 1: there were so many crabs in his room. They just
Speaker 1: like and they were there's so many that they gave
Speaker 1: him a crab room that they were like, oh, he
Speaker 1: needs a crab room, and so they like brought him
Speaker 1: a room that was specific ro crabs. Is so funny.
Speaker 1: And then he got they gave him a special bed.
Speaker 1: He's like, they just climbed ninety up the wall and stairs.
Speaker 1: I don't think the bed is kind of that's a
Speaker 1: great point. So so then he's like, you know, your
Speaker 1: parents were there, so they come backstage and you know
Speaker 1: you could you kind of tell that he, you know,
Speaker 1: didn't want that many people back there. But he's like, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: it's all great. Nicky's parents and you know, your mom
Speaker 1: and your dad, you know, they're great. They're all but uh,
Speaker 1: they're like, yeah, we're gonna we're gonna get out of
Speaker 1: your hair, like we know, like you know, the was
Speaker 1: it before and after after the show? Yeah? And so
Speaker 1: then your mom goes, so they say that, and then
Speaker 1: two seconds later, your mom goes, is that vodka? No?
Speaker 1: Can I grab some va? Oh? No? So she had
Speaker 1: had a couple of drinks. We're dealing with or dealing
Speaker 1: with a little a little okay, okay, which is the
Speaker 1: best lazer agree with you people who care about her
Speaker 1: and might disagree with you, Okay. But she so she
Speaker 1: grabs the vodka. She starts, you know, instagramming on our account.
Speaker 1: Let's keep going. Was was Spade given her ship? Was
Speaker 1: he just? Oh my god? She was dancing? No? No?
Speaker 1: So then she she she bakes it with diet coke.
Speaker 1: She goes, who does this? He goes, that's my drink?
Speaker 1: He goes, whoa David Space? I never thought to do?
Speaker 1: Like it was like someone landed on the mars. You
Speaker 1: mix this with diet coke. Oh, well, David does it.
Speaker 1: I'm doing it. I'll try it. No, you don't do that,
Speaker 1: you too diet coke. A well, I knew I liked you.
Speaker 1: I knew I liked him, just like, oh god, He's like,
Speaker 1: can I go back to the Double Tree and like
Speaker 1: just sit alone in my sad hotel room? Anything but
Speaker 1: being around this woman. You're nailing this. So you're nailing
Speaker 1: this so hard. So then there's a cake there with
Speaker 1: leaves that you can eat. Yea, they made him like
Speaker 1: a cake because he has a bit about leaves or something. Yeah,
Speaker 1: oh god, he goes, all right, I'm gonna get out
Speaker 1: of here. And you're not taking this. You're not gonna
Speaker 1: take this cake. They made this beautiful cake for you.
Speaker 1: You don't think in the vodka and you're not taking
Speaker 1: the vodka. Well, I'm just do you want me to
Speaker 1: take it? I'm just kidding, just kid, Oh god, I
Speaker 1: mean I could do the whole thing. You don't even
Speaker 1: need to tell me what happened. Let me guess. She
Speaker 1: drank the vodka, she ate the cake, and then she
Speaker 1: left her phone there all weekend long because she couldn't
Speaker 1: get she did. She left her phone there all weekend
Speaker 1: long at this theater venue and was texting me from
Speaker 1: my dad's phone all weekend long. Is that what happened? Yes,
Speaker 1: there's only you're you're you're on fire. But there is
Speaker 1: one other thing that happened. She took the She didn't
Speaker 1: eat the cake. She took. She had a box stop
Speaker 1: she took. These leaves are beautiful. I'm taking these leaves.
Speaker 1: You can't. No one's take these. I'll take him. No
Speaker 1: one's gonna eat this cake. I'll take the goddamn leaves. Now,
Speaker 1: this is a lot of work with into these. You
Speaker 1: know how much this cake probably was. She's googling it,
Speaker 1: how much our little leaf cake leaves? I bet those.
Speaker 1: I bet those our fifteen bucks apiece. What is she
Speaker 1: doing with these leaves? Oh my god, So your nephew
Speaker 1: is having a birthday and she's going to study the
Speaker 1: leaves and recreate them, or she's going to Yes, she's
Speaker 1: going to use them. He's using David Spaide's leaves on
Speaker 1: Arlow's cake. Yeah, I mean, there's nothing surprising about this.
Speaker 1: What do they fond it? I'm sure they'll probably be
Speaker 1: good by that Arlow's birthdays in a couple of days.
Speaker 1: It makes total sense. I like this move. Now, you
Speaker 1: know what I like because I bet that cake would
Speaker 1: have just gone to waste. And now she's gonna get some.
Speaker 1: She'll be like, Arlo, you can eat things, and then
Speaker 1: I'll die of food poisoning. And you know, it'll be
Speaker 1: his last birthday, but it will be the one that
Speaker 1: he you know, we all remember. Um Jesus Christ. I mean,
Speaker 1: I go, she goes, I'm making a cake for our like, go,
Speaker 1: what the hell did he sell out? Oh my god?
Speaker 1: So then so then because he would make a special
Speaker 1: cake sold out David Spade, And then so then, um,
Speaker 1: the basketball games on your dad has like he's gonna
Speaker 1: win like a couple hundred bucks if ye ended a
Speaker 1: basketball game, I'll watch the Jewels juels. Will you just
Speaker 1: sit down? Okay? Alright? Is that my dad? Am I
Speaker 1: nailing my dad? Yes? And then they kick us out
Speaker 1: before with five seconds left in the game, they're like,
Speaker 1: you guys gotta get it's ten o'clock. Like David left
Speaker 1: an hour ago. Oh my god. So embarrassing, like his
Speaker 1: like his entourage, who he didn't even ask for, are
Speaker 1: like shutting the place down and making it so like
Speaker 1: the union workers are going to get like time and
Speaker 1: a half for overtime because they have to stay so
Speaker 1: they can shut down. After my mom has stolen David
Speaker 1: Spade's cake, I mean, welcome home, Nikias, coming to may One.
Speaker 1: Just the leaves, I'm taking these? Are you kidding me?
Speaker 1: E J? Shut up? I'm taking him. He's shut up,
Speaker 1: I'm taking him. He saysn't care. Nicky wouldn't care, and
Speaker 1: then she leaves her phone there all weekend. It's collateral.
Speaker 1: I mean the weekend. I mean my weekend was I missed.
Speaker 1: I missed that because I had to go to Vegas
Speaker 1: to do the Grammy's yesterday on Sunday, And you know,
Speaker 1: I was there at like ten thirty in the morning
Speaker 1: to do the pre show for the like lead up
Speaker 1: to the Red Carpet, the count down to the Red Carpet,
Speaker 1: and it ended up really fun, Yeah, the pre priest.
Speaker 1: So it was like, I but I got to go
Speaker 1: to the Red carpet. So we were broadcasting across the
Speaker 1: way like a mile, which is like in Vegas times,
Speaker 1: it tastes like forty five minutes to get from the
Speaker 1: you know the um, the Grammys and the Red Carpet
Speaker 1: were at the MGM Grand and we were on top
Speaker 1: of a parking garage above an eminem st war And
Speaker 1: that is true. We were on the top of this
Speaker 1: like ten story parking garage on the very top, the
Speaker 1: open top, and we're like in a parking lot with
Speaker 1: this a massive setup and we did you know. Um,
Speaker 1: I went first. I went to the Grammys like just
Speaker 1: to go on the Red carpet to get some pictures
Speaker 1: because I got styled and I paid a lot of
Speaker 1: money to get styled, and I had it like a
Speaker 1: really expensive jewelry and like a told Glam team and
Speaker 1: I looked great and so but it was just funny.
Speaker 1: They're like still laying down the red carpet like as
Speaker 1: I'm walking on it, like doesn't it's it's me and
Speaker 1: like the guys who are like constructing it. And I
Speaker 1: woke up at the crack down. Grab the end there, yeah,
Speaker 1: grab the corner. It was so early. I was there
Speaker 1: at ten thirty and for like an evening Grammys and
Speaker 1: then so and they have the Glam Boat, which is
Speaker 1: this like weird robot arm that kind of like goes
Speaker 1: goes really fast like zoom, like you go okay action
Speaker 1: and then it goes room and then it as a
Speaker 1: slow motion so you look like it's all those like
Speaker 1: super glamorous shots. And it was like it just sucked
Speaker 1: because I was supposed to initially wear this. So I
Speaker 1: got fitted the day before. I flew into Vegas on
Speaker 1: Saturday so I could do a fitting and go to
Speaker 1: rehearsal for the Sunday show. That's why I missed the
Speaker 1: Spade show. And um, i uh I. I had this
Speaker 1: great outfit picked up. It was like this pink skirt
Speaker 1: with like all these like sequence that was awesome, and
Speaker 1: then like this really fairly like laced like black top
Speaker 1: and like my stylis and I like all loved it.
Speaker 1: And then they were like, hey, um, the seam on
Speaker 1: that looks a little too like short, and we're worried
Speaker 1: about you sitting. And I was like, oh, it's easily fixable.
Speaker 1: I could just flip it to the other side because
Speaker 1: it's like you can twist the stress, so that's not
Speaker 1: a problem. I just knew there was some other problem,
Speaker 1: Like I could tell like that was just an excuse
Speaker 1: to give me because they're like, we just don't like it,
Speaker 1: you know, like they don't want to say that and um,
Speaker 1: and so then I could tell like they were like okay, great,
Speaker 1: they were just like quiet, and I was like, they're
Speaker 1: coming up with another reason why I can't wear it,
Speaker 1: which is not the real Like I never found out
Speaker 1: why they didn't want me to wear it, because they
Speaker 1: kept coming up with like different excuses of like we
Speaker 1: just need a more elevated look. I mean I think
Speaker 1: it was like it wasn't dressy enough, and so then
Speaker 1: they had me put on this other thing that it
Speaker 1: was like my second choice, which was like the one
Speaker 1: that you saw, which was the silver like really tight dress.
Speaker 1: But the problem was like the same problem I had
Speaker 1: on Dancing with the Stars, Like I was just from
Speaker 1: all this travel and like lack of sleep. I was
Speaker 1: just backed up and like had not done like a
Speaker 1: number two and like so long. And when you have
Speaker 1: that like and you're wearing a skin tight dress like
Speaker 1: sucking in, it's just like you have you can't suck
Speaker 1: in all the way. It just looks you can't. So
Speaker 1: it's just the glambot of me. I look pregnant and
Speaker 1: I just couldn't. I was so annoyed, like I couldn't
Speaker 1: get myself to poop beforehand, even though I I still
Speaker 1: have it, Like I it's just so weird when you
Speaker 1: know you haven't pooped in so long and all the
Speaker 1: food you have eaten it's just sitting inside of you.
Speaker 1: And it's just like I just I just hated that
Speaker 1: I had to wear something that was so skin tight
Speaker 1: when I was just so not um like it ended
Speaker 1: up no, No, it was like completely, I was like,
Speaker 1: I understand underwear. Yeah, I wore a thong that was
Speaker 1: like seamless, you know, but it was just like it
Speaker 1: wasn't Thankfully, I was out of it by I was
Speaker 1: done at like a like twelve, and so I was
Speaker 1: done for the whole day and I flew back to
Speaker 1: Los Angeles. I missed the Grammys because I was like
Speaker 1: on a delayed flight going back or going to l A.
Speaker 1: Because I'm here all week doing daily and nightly pop.
Speaker 1: Like I had to wake up this morning. I had
Speaker 1: to wake up this morning all week at like I
Speaker 1: think it's at six, and then I go we go
Speaker 1: live at eight to nine, and then from ten to
Speaker 1: eleven we do nightly pop. It's like I'm doing two
Speaker 1: hours of a talk show every day. It's a lot.
Speaker 1: It's a lot, Like I don't know what I agreed to,
Speaker 1: but it is a lot, and like I also agreed
Speaker 1: to do. I mean, obviously I'm doing this podcast and
Speaker 1: then I'm also doing more podcasts that are just only
Speaker 1: l A based, So I'm gonna slowly be losing my
Speaker 1: mind this week, I think. And I just got a
Speaker 1: poop and it's so weird because like I am not
Speaker 1: normally someone who talks about like I have to poop,
Speaker 1: Like I'm not usually someone who just is like gross
Speaker 1: around people. But for some reason last time yesterday, I
Speaker 1: couldn't stop being like I wish I would have. People
Speaker 1: would be like you look great, and I'm like I
Speaker 1: should have pooped before, Like it was so gross, Like
Speaker 1: I was just like, who am I? I Am not
Speaker 1: this girl that's like I have to diarrhea, Like I'm
Speaker 1: not someone who's constantly talking about poop, Like I actually
Speaker 1: really grossed out when people like overshare that much. But
Speaker 1: I was that girl yesterday. But I think it was
Speaker 1: because I was so nervous to be around like the
Speaker 1: fashion elite, like people who like know so much about
Speaker 1: fashion and like care so much about celebrities, and like
Speaker 1: I just felt like I was not. I was just
Speaker 1: felt like I was an impostor there. So I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'll just go super into being the opposite of this,
Speaker 1: because I can never be as stylish as all of
Speaker 1: you and like know as much about ball men and
Speaker 1: like Javonche and like Balenciaga and like boucles and like
Speaker 1: all the things they were talking talking about. I mean,
Speaker 1: this was a red carpet, so I think I just
Speaker 1: I was like, who are you that you're talking about
Speaker 1: how you haven't pooped? It was like, really, do you
Speaker 1: ever have those moments where you're just like, why did
Speaker 1: I just tell David Spade that? Like I hope that
Speaker 1: he breaks the audiences lest it was one of those
Speaker 1: moments where I was like, what does happened to me? When?
Speaker 1: When did I become the I got to poop woman?
Speaker 1: Like that is not who I am and it's not
Speaker 1: who I want to be. You know what, though, on
Speaker 1: a show like the Grammys and it's fucking elegant, it's funny,
Speaker 1: then it is. It was. It wasn't like on camera,
Speaker 1: it was like, no, it was not good. I think
Speaker 1: I really was That's what I do. I try to
Speaker 1: like make myself disgusting so that like people don't even
Speaker 1: think I'm trying to be like them, because I know
Speaker 1: I'll never be like them. I think it was that
Speaker 1: Andrew and I have a surprise for you after the break. Oh,
Speaker 1: you have a surprise to me after this break? Yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, Nikki, stay too. Your mom's David Spade's cake.
Speaker 1: Andrew coming in now? All right, all right, we're back
Speaker 1: from break. What is my special gift surprise? Well, since
Speaker 1: you didn't really get to enjoy the Grammys, Andrew and
Speaker 1: I are going to host the post Post Free Priet
Speaker 1: Red Carpet Award Show. Oh my god, what are what
Speaker 1: is going on? Yes? Yes, I'm here? Yes, who who
Speaker 1: are you wearing? And what was the process of getting
Speaker 1: ready for the red carpet? Look like what you're here? Okay? Well,
Speaker 1: I was wearing a nineteen seventies vintage dressed by um
Speaker 1: someone name who's an Italian designer. That's really long and
Speaker 1: I forgot it already, but it was from the ninet No,
Speaker 1: I I was actually I was telling people that it
Speaker 1: was my wet seal because I looked like a wet
Speaker 1: seal and my necklace finis R and I Yeah, Oh
Speaker 1: my god, I love that. Also wearing a ring that
Speaker 1: I can't get off my fucking finger from the season
Speaker 1: finale of Perfect Strangers to Nicky, Nicky, you look No,
Speaker 1: that's me me, Nicki, Nicki, you look exquisite. Your style
Speaker 1: is Danny and Emma. Total pros is in your purse?
Speaker 1: Um in my purse is to or gain vegan protein
Speaker 1: bars in case I get a little bit hungry before
Speaker 1: twelve o'clock when I'm wrapped. Also is my phone and
Speaker 1: also some lip gloss and my hotel key. I wish
Speaker 1: I had a better answer for that. That's kind of
Speaker 1: all their won What the people want to know? Oh
Speaker 1: my god, Nicky, Nicky, can I get your Can I
Speaker 1: get a minute or ten or something? Do you the
Speaker 1: homeless man? Oh my god? So yeah, Hi? How are you?
Speaker 1: Do you hold my sandwich? Who's your sandwich? By? That's all?
Speaker 1: My sandwich is my subway? Oh my god, it's my
Speaker 1: Dame Tomato old cheese, and have a turkey fund. Okay,
Speaker 1: what was your artist that you really wanted to meet?
Speaker 1: H was Lady Gaga wearing those cold cuts? Uh? Five
Speaker 1: years ago? I think I recognize them cool cuts. Uh No,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry a little uh producer there. I don't know
Speaker 1: why I called you a little producer less music. No,
Speaker 1: it's fine. Um, this is such a buzzy red carbon
Speaker 1: I can barely hear you guys, so um no, it's
Speaker 1: still us. Who who was at the Grammys that you
Speaker 1: really wanted to meet? And who do you want? Like?
Speaker 1: Who are you going to meet later? Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: I am not going to meet anyone later because I
Speaker 1: actually have to catch a flight at three o'clock and
Speaker 1: I couldn't get tickets to the Grammys and we were
Speaker 1: actually broadcasting so far from them that there was no
Speaker 1: chance I would get close at all. I only saw
Speaker 1: a bunch of queens from RuPaul's Drag Race who were
Speaker 1: also on the red carpet super early with me, and
Speaker 1: they all were like saying things like, oh my god, girl,
Speaker 1: work it. You look amazing, And it was really just
Speaker 1: uh that that was so that made me feel really good.
Speaker 1: And um, when I'm most excited about for the Grammys
Speaker 1: that aired last night or two nights ago, because this
Speaker 1: is Tuesday's episode, is um Olivia red Rigo winning and
Speaker 1: singing a driver's license. I was really excited about seeing
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift maybe show up, but she didn't because she's
Speaker 1: only nominated for one UM and I can't wait to
Speaker 1: see uh uh that that one song win for everything?
Speaker 1: The Anderson Park and uh Bruno mar Our song and
Speaker 1: what do they go by? Like song sound? I saw
Speaker 1: that the winners thing Supersonic. I saw them like win everything,
Speaker 1: and I'm silk Sonic. Supersonic is like a different band
Speaker 1: that's saying, like what do they say Supersonic? They were
Speaker 1: like a nineties band kind of with like three Doors
Speaker 1: down and like six um. I when I saw that
Speaker 1: they won everything, I was just like, who is super Soon?
Speaker 1: I was like, is this a new band that I've
Speaker 1: never heard of? And of course it's It's I didn't
Speaker 1: know they went by that name? Who when did that happen?
Speaker 1: And do you always know the difference between best uh
Speaker 1: best record and song of the year and record and
Speaker 1: album of the year, because record to me is an album,
Speaker 1: but really record and song of the Year are almost
Speaker 1: very similar. A record is is a singular song and
Speaker 1: it's more about like the recording of it. The gas
Speaker 1: is about recording is the singer? Yes, but I was
Speaker 1: literally recording of the year and not record record equals Like, hey,
Speaker 1: you're gonna go listen to some records. That's not like
Speaker 1: because it wrong about the year. It's it's record of
Speaker 1: the year recorded a year. There's no way. Well, no
Speaker 1: one's saying it like that. You always knew that it
Speaker 1: was not a record, it was record of the year.
Speaker 1: I mean, look when you go to the actual Grammys
Speaker 1: and like what you did, that's what you learned. I
Speaker 1: kept wanting to see horn and where I was like
Speaker 1: where I said that the Grammys was short for grandmother's.
Speaker 1: Like why is it why the Grammys has to be
Speaker 1: short for something like grammophone. Oh yeah, that's it, because
Speaker 1: they're like little grandmophones. Okay, that all makes sense. Like
Speaker 1: why are why aren't the Academy Awards called like the
Speaker 1: Atys or the o Skies and the Emmys? Is that
Speaker 1: Emily's Emily? No, it's short for amaphone. Let's get to
Speaker 1: the news. That was fun, you guys, hey man, thanks
Speaker 1: for taking Thanks for stopping for us. Yeah, thanks for
Speaker 1: taking our questions. Oh yeah, anytime, you guys. I gotta
Speaker 1: get in there. Um, I have somewhere to be and
Speaker 1: that somewhere is getting in line for myself West flight,
Speaker 1: I'm a B thirty six and pretty excited about it.
Speaker 1: B thirty six is also what I uh, if it
Speaker 1: would have been twenty three, that would be better joke
Speaker 1: off saying like that's what most people are. I was
Speaker 1: gonna say, like guys are thinking when they find out
Speaker 1: that they're not. I don't know better joke. I'm tired. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's get to the news. Why don't you be be
Speaker 1: twenty three and have Yes, there we go. Oh, it's Tuesday, folks.
Speaker 1: You know what It's Tuesday. You know what that means.
Speaker 1: It is Tuesday. Um, I hope you're having all the
Speaker 1: swells out there. I don't know if you've heard about this,
Speaker 1: but it's record it is. I mean, it's wild if
Speaker 1: that is it, and we've been saying it wrong all
Speaker 1: these times. One of the news headlines today Noah, all right, well, uh,
Speaker 1: this story, just a quick caveat, is not about any
Speaker 1: of Andrew's friends. Three Deutsche Bank executives Investment, a German
Speaker 1: investment banking firm, got fired after charging a strip club
Speaker 1: visit to the company. The bank, however, did not fire
Speaker 1: the lone truth teller. Oh wow, so there were four
Speaker 1: and one of them ratted the others out and the
Speaker 1: three got fired. Is that what? Yes? Okay, Andrews shaking
Speaker 1: his head. Andrew, you you think snitches get bitches at
Speaker 1: the club? Let's go on here. Yeah, you know what.
Speaker 1: I relate to this this weekend I checked in. No,
Speaker 1: I relate to like charging something because you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: the company's card is down. So like he put me
Speaker 1: up in the hotel this weekend at for the Grammys
Speaker 1: at UM the Park MGM, and I didn't have to
Speaker 1: put down a credit card for incidental so that was like, okay, cool.
Speaker 1: They're like gonna let me have waters in my mini
Speaker 1: bar like stuff like that, Like that'll be nice. And
Speaker 1: then I went and got a facial and I'm like
Speaker 1: they owe me this, you know, like I'm doing all
Speaker 1: this press for them, and like I deserve this, and
Speaker 1: like I'm just gonna charge it to the room. And
Speaker 1: then I was like I want this Grammy hat that
Speaker 1: was in the like the gift shop. I'm like, I
Speaker 1: deserve this because I'm doing this. And I was like
Speaker 1: and I really like worked myself into thinking like I
Speaker 1: deserve these things and like he has to, like they
Speaker 1: should just give them to me, and like, and I
Speaker 1: convinced myself, yeah, I'm gonna do that. And then I
Speaker 1: was in the middle of the facial, and I was like,
Speaker 1: who the funk do you think you are? That is stealing?
Speaker 1: No one said that you could do that. They were
Speaker 1: nice enough to like put their card down. They're paying
Speaker 1: for your hotel. This wasn't part of the deal. If
Speaker 1: you want them to give you a facial, you can
Speaker 1: ask for one and see if they cover it, but
Speaker 1: you don't get to just like assume. And so I
Speaker 1: did the right thing, and I after I got the facial,
Speaker 1: I let my you know, contacted EO, like, hey, I
Speaker 1: got a facial, Please figure out how I can reimburse
Speaker 1: you guys for it, because it was a confusion with
Speaker 1: my card. So I did give them my card, but
Speaker 1: it like wouldn't load, so I was like, oh, just
Speaker 1: put it on the room. But then I, you know,
Speaker 1: I worked myself into thinking like they they'll get it,
Speaker 1: and like, you know, it wasn't even about like I'm
Speaker 1: gonna take advantage of them because they owe me. It
Speaker 1: was more like I can think and they're rich and
Speaker 1: it's like, you know what, it doesn't matter, it's still stealing.
Speaker 1: It's like, that's not that's not okay. And I did
Speaker 1: not get the creamy. What what annoys me is when
Speaker 1: there's a snitch and then the bank goes, oh my god,
Speaker 1: what's happening. We got a fire and ruined these people's lives.
Speaker 1: Everyone's been buying pussy on corporate cards for the last
Speaker 1: seven That doesn't make it right. It's not, it's no,
Speaker 1: but it's just part of business. Man, Like you don't
Speaker 1: I know, but like what do you mean by that? Oh?
Speaker 1: And their own money on it, that's the part of
Speaker 1: you're like, that's not a business expense. I mean, I
Speaker 1: would could argue that a facial is going to make
Speaker 1: me look better and feel better on there, and I
Speaker 1: guess I could say, oh, yeah, pussy would also make
Speaker 1: me feel better and do better at my job. But
Speaker 1: like what yeah, look no, but if they're taking out,
Speaker 1: look here's the difference. If they have clients, look, lady, well,
Speaker 1: that's definitely then there's entertainment budget. Right, But this this
Speaker 1: wasn't the situation. If that was a situation, and it
Speaker 1: would be a whole different story. That's not. You have
Speaker 1: a budget for entertaining, and I'm sure pussy can be
Speaker 1: part of that budget. This was This was guys just
Speaker 1: using the company car. Here's a twist. There's a There
Speaker 1: is a twist because the restaurant that they would give
Speaker 1: a facial they'll be better in the morning. But the
Speaker 1: restaurant they went to doubles up as a steakhouse, so
Speaker 1: it's basically a steakhouse where you can buy. It's called
Speaker 1: Sapphire in New York. Oh, they could act like it
Speaker 1: was for a dinner and then it's really strippers. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like saying it's like calling your bar the library
Speaker 1: and being like they have to go to the library.
Speaker 1: It's like we we come on. Um. Yeah, I'm just
Speaker 1: tired of people. It's just dishonesty. And I don't think this.
Speaker 1: I don't like the snitch. I mean that's never a
Speaker 1: good look, but like, I really do feel like we
Speaker 1: need to call out bad behavior. I just thought it
Speaker 1: was very interesting. I'm such a like, I feel like
Speaker 1: I'm a really honest person and I don't I used
Speaker 1: to shoplift like back in the day, but I do
Speaker 1: not like to take advantage of even if I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: they're rich, they can afford it, or like let's go wild,
Speaker 1: Like I don't like to just just because someone can
Speaker 1: afford something doesn't mean they should, like you should waste
Speaker 1: their money on whatever you want, because like there's a
Speaker 1: reason that, like I don't know, it's just it's just dishonest. Um.
Speaker 1: But it was weird that I could talk myself into
Speaker 1: thinking I deserved it, Like I just you know, you
Speaker 1: can anything you want to do. You can really create
Speaker 1: a scenario where it's like, no, I'm doing the right thing.
Speaker 1: And I'm so glad that I had time to think
Speaker 1: during my facial and realize, like, this is not the
Speaker 1: person I want to be. And honestly, it would have
Speaker 1: weighed on me so much knowing that, you know, I
Speaker 1: probably could have gotten away with it and they're probably
Speaker 1: gonna give it to me because she was like, don't
Speaker 1: worry about it, but I was like, no, I really
Speaker 1: please follow up, like I want to find a way
Speaker 1: to reimburse you, because that was that was that was
Speaker 1: on me. So um, yeah, it was just it was
Speaker 1: it was me kind of like trying to get away
Speaker 1: with something. It's like when your mom took the leaves.
Speaker 1: You know, it's like those weren't hers, Like what is
Speaker 1: she doing? Yeah, but David was leaving him behind. I
Speaker 1: mean I think that that's okay. No, your mom could
Speaker 1: get leaves anywhere. If she takes David's leaves, that's just
Speaker 1: the same thing as a sky buying stripper pussy. Oh
Speaker 1: my god. My friend this weekend said that she was
Speaker 1: like she was waiting on um someone and like she
Speaker 1: lives in Hollywood and she was like waiting on this
Speaker 1: table at this really fruit fruit place she works at,
Speaker 1: and the she was like, um. She said something to
Speaker 1: the fact of like oh that sounds good or like
Speaker 1: was that good? And he was like yeah, almost as
Speaker 1: good as moving to a city and thinking that you're
Speaker 1: going to make it as an actress and really failing,
Speaker 1: and said something and just waited and had his little
Speaker 1: like you know, Cattie little boyfriends like sitting there like
Speaker 1: snickering as he just like held eye contact with her.
Speaker 1: And I'm not joking you guys. I wrote to her
Speaker 1: and I was like, do you find this man? His name?
Speaker 1: I am going to do everything I can to destroy
Speaker 1: his life. And I found him on Instagram, I like,
Speaker 1: and then I was like, looking at him on Instagram,
Speaker 1: he seems like a nice guy, and I'm like, it's
Speaker 1: just we need to out these people. And I'm not
Speaker 1: going to out him because like, I don't want to
Speaker 1: get my friend in trouble. But people who are rude
Speaker 1: to people and like bullies like this, they live amongst us.
Speaker 1: We don't think they're out there because that just seems
Speaker 1: like a story that would only happen in like a
Speaker 1: Mean Girls spinoff, like who talks to people like that?
Speaker 1: But they're everywhere, and we work with them, we're around them,
Speaker 1: and we need to call this behavior out is an
Speaker 1: unacceptable And so I think that it is good that
Speaker 1: the guy stood up and was like, hey, these strippers
Speaker 1: are like this is on the company's card, Like this
Speaker 1: isn't it's not right, you're lying. It's not about the
Speaker 1: stripper part of it. It's like you could you know,
Speaker 1: whether it's whatever kind of face. I don't think those
Speaker 1: To me, those two guys aren't the same. But it's
Speaker 1: a slippery slope, That's what I'm saying, and so is
Speaker 1: her whoever. That is disgusting and it made my blood.
Speaker 1: But also I was going to like d m him
Speaker 1: and go who the fund do you think you are?
Speaker 1: I know what you're really like, and I will never
Speaker 1: work with you, and I'll tell everyone I know never
Speaker 1: to work with you. And I was like, wait, but
Speaker 1: this guy is clearly in pain. Like you do not
Speaker 1: talk to people like that. You do not try to
Speaker 1: make someone who is a waiter feel or a waitress
Speaker 1: feel bad about herself unless you are immensely miserable. So
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't need to do anything. It's
Speaker 1: like that I feel. I honestly feel sad for him.
Speaker 1: Next story. I hope she fucking ship in his food.
Speaker 1: I know, I know. I wish I could, but I can't. Sorry,
Speaker 1: sorry if you if you give me a week, give
Speaker 1: me a week, okay. Thousands of overdue books have been
Speaker 1: returned after the New York Public Library ended late fees.
Speaker 1: The move has inspired the return of seventy two thousand
Speaker 1: lost or overdue items, and a librarian said that they
Speaker 1: even got a book with a do date from nineteen
Speaker 1: fifty nine and one from nineteen seventies six. What is
Speaker 1: wrong with people? That's why they're not returning books because
Speaker 1: they don't want to deal with the late fees. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, how much are the late fees, How much
Speaker 1: are they? Well they got rid of them, I couldn't
Speaker 1: tell you. I mean who knows. I mean, neither of
Speaker 1: us get library books. Clearly some of them came in
Speaker 1: with apology notes and were returned. Readers come from from
Speaker 1: high need communities, The librarian explained. Once that barrier is
Speaker 1: gone and there is a flood of materials back, you
Speaker 1: realize how much of a barrier it really was, meaning
Speaker 1: the late fees. No kidding, like you had you have
Speaker 1: no idea, Like I would have just assumed that people
Speaker 1: are lazy and like don't want to take them back,
Speaker 1: But it's really about like I just don't want to
Speaker 1: have to pay up. And I wonder if like when
Speaker 1: when Blockbuster closed, there was just like stacks and stacks
Speaker 1: of you know, tapes being shoved through the door of
Speaker 1: these empty Blockbusters. Like I remember having so many parking
Speaker 1: tickets in l A when I left in two thousand seven,
Speaker 1: and you know, from street cleaning, and I was broke
Speaker 1: so I wouldn't pay them. And I remember moving back
Speaker 1: to l A in two thousand fifteen, and it had
Speaker 1: been a seven and a half years since I lived
Speaker 1: there before. And someone said if you wait seven years,
Speaker 1: they just go away. And I was like they did
Speaker 1: I waited a DMB and registered a car and everything.
Speaker 1: I didn't have any I don't have any like Leans
Speaker 1: on my California. No, No, they were just they're just
Speaker 1: go away. I know. I couldn't believe it, but um,
Speaker 1: it's true. Have you ever heard of it? Yeah, well
Speaker 1: there's a thing called average possession in Florida that if
Speaker 1: you find like an empty house and you live in
Speaker 1: it for seven years, it's yours. Oh yeah, like squatters laws. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I gotta do you do the libby um library app?
Speaker 1: I mean is that just literally like is there a
Speaker 1: certain number of downloads each book can have? Or is
Speaker 1: it just like unlimited books? Like is it like, like,
Speaker 1: why would you ever buy a book if you could
Speaker 1: do that? Why am I buying books? I don't know.
Speaker 1: Well not they don't have all the books that we
Speaker 1: like on there. But um, they do have a limit
Speaker 1: on how many people can download the book at once. Okay,
Speaker 1: so there is like a certain number of downloads per book. Okay,
Speaker 1: that makes sense, So you might have to wait a
Speaker 1: little bit. Um. I do like buying books. I like
Speaker 1: supporting like authors in that way, and I love you know,
Speaker 1: reading on my phone is my favorite way to do it. Um,
Speaker 1: let's take a quick break and come back with why
Speaker 1: do I care? Why do I care? Why do I care?
Speaker 1: Camila Cabello kind of funny, didn't think, oh sorry, wait,
Speaker 1: what were you gonna say? No, I just love the
Speaker 1: idea of people burning burning books and it's just their
Speaker 1: kindle or their guy being like this book and he's like,
Speaker 1: oh fuck, like an idiot. Go ahead, yeah, I like that.
Speaker 1: It's funny. It's funny. That's uh. Yeah, you didn't just
Speaker 1: break the audiences like CaMLA Cabello. Camila Cabello slams paparazzi
Speaker 1: for beach pictures and for ruining her weekend beach trip
Speaker 1: to Miami. She said, I've never had a worse time. Um.
Speaker 1: She She claimed that she didn't breathe and she held
Speaker 1: her core so tight that her abs hurt as the
Speaker 1: paps snapped her in bikini from in a bikini from
Speaker 1: all angles. I've never had a worse time at the beach,
Speaker 1: and I'm not yet at the point in my journey
Speaker 1: where I cannot give a fuck. Um concluded the message
Speaker 1: by saying that she wants to get back to feeling
Speaker 1: like seven year old me on the beach who was happy,
Speaker 1: silly and breathing pretending to be a mermaid. Ands um, yeah,
Speaker 1: I uh yeah, I saw these pictures and I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna lie. Like I've always loved Camilla Cabello because she,
Speaker 1: to me, looks like she's like I just say, my
Speaker 1: body is what it is, and I like she she
Speaker 1: always looks great to me, but she's someone who, just
Speaker 1: to me doesn't care about sucking in and it's interesting
Speaker 1: to hear that side of her saying, like, actually do care,
Speaker 1: and it's unfortunate like her. I mean, my trip can
Speaker 1: be my trips to places when I'm in a bikini
Speaker 1: and someone my friends take a photo of me that
Speaker 1: there may be trying to make me look good and
Speaker 1: it doesn't look the way I wanted to. My fucking
Speaker 1: night can be ruined. It's so stupid, and I'll zoom
Speaker 1: in on certain places, so it's really leave her alone,
Speaker 1: and like, I don't know, it's just I I'm just like, so, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think there's a there there there's a way that,
Speaker 1: like you could take a funny photo of yourself where
Speaker 1: you look a k shitty, right, Like, oh I look
Speaker 1: a little fat in this. I'm just like, I'm fine.
Speaker 1: But if you're not in control of even the shitty photo,
Speaker 1: it could feel very shitty, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like like even in your even in your shitty photos,
Speaker 1: you want to control the narrative of it. And I
Speaker 1: think that's what's hard for her, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like like you were saying, like someone like her, Oh,
Speaker 1: I don't think that she could be upset about that,
Speaker 1: but even those pictures are controlled, No, I would be
Speaker 1: very upset about the pictures. She just like she is
Speaker 1: someone who you know, isn't like stick rail thin like
Speaker 1: most of like the pop stars of her generation. And
Speaker 1: you know, she just went through a breakup with Sean
Speaker 1: and it is and like she's just out there just
Speaker 1: like trying to just have a day at the beach.
Speaker 1: It just sucks because I just, um, it's there's just
Speaker 1: no way, easy, easy way to like talk about this stuff.
Speaker 1: It's like we act like it doesn't matter anymore and
Speaker 1: plus size figures are fine. And then also the only
Speaker 1: reason that she's being snapped so much up is because
Speaker 1: she is a plus size figured girl. It's like if
Speaker 1: she looked amazing, they probably wouldn't even bother as much.
Speaker 1: Or if she looked not amazing, but if she looked
Speaker 1: like super tiny, it wouldn't be that big of a deal.
Speaker 1: But it's like we're still fascinated by people not your
Speaker 1: like yeah, and it's just I don't know, it's it's
Speaker 1: like yesterday, I believe this is what she really looks
Speaker 1: like Yesterday, I was really feeling um like I was saying,
Speaker 1: like I was felt constipated. I felt like I I
Speaker 1: did this fitting with my stylist, and I've gained weight since,
Speaker 1: like since I don't know when, but like since a
Speaker 1: couple fittings go like I don't fit in the same
Speaker 1: stuff that I used to fit in, like everything that
Speaker 1: they got for me, Like I could only fit in
Speaker 1: two things and one was the thing I was wearing yesterday,
Speaker 1: and they brought like eleven things and I they fit,
Speaker 1: but they were just so tight that it would have
Speaker 1: been like leaving imprints on my body. And it was
Speaker 1: just like it sucks, man, it just sucks even if
Speaker 1: but I really like I was trying to be do
Speaker 1: with my stoicism about it because I was just like okay,
Speaker 1: and then what like, what's the story here? So like
Speaker 1: I did a stoic thing where I was reading this
Speaker 1: book about like um, how to how to live like
Speaker 1: a Roman Emperor, and I wasn't even going to share this,
Speaker 1: but it kind of fits exactly with this. So I
Speaker 1: was like struggling with They were like, okay, right down
Speaker 1: because so exported, just like get things down to the
Speaker 1: basics of like we catastrophize things so much of like
Speaker 1: I'm gonna look fat and then no one's gonna like me,
Speaker 1: and then everyone's gonna thing I'm gross and no one's
Speaker 1: gonna remember me, and I'm not gonna have a career.
Speaker 1: Like that's where my mind goes. If I if I look,
Speaker 1: if I've gained weight, then I'm gonna have to wear
Speaker 1: the ugliest dress of all the dresses and it's gonna
Speaker 1: look tight on me and I'm gonna be uncomfortable and
Speaker 1: then I'm gonna do a bad job because the girl
Speaker 1: next to me on the couch is gonna look skinnier
Speaker 1: than me, and everyone's gonna say that and like just
Speaker 1: making up this story. So it's like, okay, what are
Speaker 1: the facts? And I so I took my problem. It
Speaker 1: said take your problem and like what is the fact
Speaker 1: about it? And I said, I have gained weight. The
Speaker 1: dress tomorrow on me might not look as good as
Speaker 1: it would look on a thinner person. That's just it.
Speaker 1: That's it, without any like embellishment, it might not look
Speaker 1: as good as I wanted to look if I if
Speaker 1: I were thinner and it fit better, and then I go, okay,
Speaker 1: what then what? Okay? Um? Then I might not get
Speaker 1: as many likes on Instagram as if I were like
Speaker 1: you know, Hailey Bieber thin okay? And then what well
Speaker 1: then what if? Like I just was like working out
Speaker 1: and I was like it does First of all, this
Speaker 1: does not matter. There's gonna be the next thing and
Speaker 1: the next thing. And also like I just don't I
Speaker 1: need to be the size today, Like there was never
Speaker 1: a world where I was going to be thinner, Like
Speaker 1: just get on board with your fucking body, Like I don't,
Speaker 1: I don't care, Like I'm not a piece of ship
Speaker 1: because my thighs are bigger and I can't get this
Speaker 1: little extra small dress past my legs, Like yes, I
Speaker 1: could fit into that last year, but last year I
Speaker 1: was also like running a lot and because I was
Speaker 1: just like that was like what I was into and
Speaker 1: this year, I'm not I'm busier because my life is
Speaker 1: going better or what you know. It's just I just
Speaker 1: was like, don't waste another second thinking about what you
Speaker 1: could be, because you are this way right now and
Speaker 1: it's not You're not bad because you are. And then
Speaker 1: I just like talked about how I like had to
Speaker 1: poop all day, like I just like didn't waste as
Speaker 1: much time as I usually do, like obsessing over feeling
Speaker 1: like I wasn't my best self and I wasn't to
Speaker 1: be honest with you like I was. I didn't feel
Speaker 1: as like hot as I normally do. But having that
Speaker 1: kind of conversation with myself of being like, you didn't
Speaker 1: choose this, you you are exactly the size that you
Speaker 1: were always going to be in this moment. There was
Speaker 1: never another world like this is the size you need
Speaker 1: to be to today for whatever reason. More will be
Speaker 1: revealed soon. You don't even know what this size is
Speaker 1: gonna and listen like I'm not saying like I'm you
Speaker 1: know that anything is wrong with my waiter that I'm like,
Speaker 1: I it was just it was an uncomfortable wait for me,
Speaker 1: But it only lasted five minutes until I was able
Speaker 1: to just like kind of shake it off like a
Speaker 1: dog and after a bath, and I just like shook
Speaker 1: it off and was like, no, there's nothing I can
Speaker 1: do about it right now. What the fuck is me
Speaker 1: being a little powdy bitch gonna do anything about? Like,
Speaker 1: does anyone want to be around a girl who's talking
Speaker 1: about how she hasn't pooped in five days? No, but
Speaker 1: that is just the next best thing I could bring
Speaker 1: them as opposed to a girl who's like, I'm fatter
Speaker 1: than I want to be or whatever the fuck. So
Speaker 1: that's the end of my rant. Let's get to Reddit
Speaker 1: dump karaoke mode. This is your Reddit dump. He signed
Speaker 1: for reddit dump. Hey, Noah, I really want to get
Speaker 1: to this video that I've been like sitting on in
Speaker 1: my saved reddit uh folder for a while. It's the
Speaker 1: employee one. This is a guy who works at Ikea.
Speaker 1: He's on TikTok what is his name? Because he is
Speaker 1: so brilliant and he just, um, he just does all
Speaker 1: these like scenarios of things customers say and then responses
Speaker 1: he as an employee, has for these people. And this
Speaker 1: is kind of in our discussion of like like people
Speaker 1: are monsters, and we need to call out our loved
Speaker 1: ones and like our friends if we ever find out
Speaker 1: where they're one of these kinds of people. And I
Speaker 1: just love how this guy called him out because it's like,
Speaker 1: if you see yourself in this, you know how annoying
Speaker 1: you are. It's at Scott says s E. I s
Speaker 1: s okay, okay, here goes. You just lost yourself a customer.
Speaker 1: You think I owned this business? You think I own Ikea?
Speaker 1: I'm a part time employee. Actualy through a two week notice.
Speaker 1: I don't give a ship. I'm telling all my friends
Speaker 1: not to shop here. Tell him, do you think I
Speaker 1: want five other us running around the floor? I'm calling me.
Speaker 1: I'll tell him. Think you hate this place more than me?
Speaker 1: I were up here? I know the sale ended last week,
Speaker 1: but can I still get a discount? Do you hear yourself?
Speaker 1: We can't go back? Which time marches on? You want
Speaker 1: the sale from fifteen years ago too? When's it end? Diane?
Speaker 1: What that price? You're gonna have to go through the
Speaker 1: quantum realm with ant man? Do you know how much
Speaker 1: money I spend here? More than you should be a
Speaker 1: good save your money and my time. It doesn't matter
Speaker 1: how much you're spending on PBS. Every time I come here,
Speaker 1: my order gets messed up, and stop coming now one
Speaker 1: more after them make my day. Every time you come
Speaker 1: here your orders messed up. Sounds like you're making the mistake.
Speaker 1: Look inward, you're ordering the wrong. I'd like to speak
Speaker 1: to your manager. I'd like to speak to your mother. Tears, raison,
Speaker 1: want to act in public. I want to speak to
Speaker 1: the manager please. I just love it so much, um
Speaker 1: because we've all been those people or we all know
Speaker 1: those people, Like is there anything you guys do when
Speaker 1: you're a retail employee that you're like, listen to myself?
Speaker 1: Like for me, it's like when I am touching things
Speaker 1: in like unfolding things or like take something off. I
Speaker 1: hate the when retail employees will straighten up after me
Speaker 1: if I put something back and like right in front
Speaker 1: of me, I'm like, wait until I'm out of eyesight
Speaker 1: because I know how you're like fold like you like
Speaker 1: straightening up what I just touched. Like I can tell
Speaker 1: your disdain for me. It's so passive aggressive in the
Speaker 1: dressing room. I don't like when they like check in
Speaker 1: on you like I would never ask them to get
Speaker 1: me anything. I would just get dressed, go out, get
Speaker 1: the thing again, and come back into the dressing room.
Speaker 1: I just can't do it. I would never ever be like,
Speaker 1: well can you find that in an eight? Like? I
Speaker 1: would never. I just want to do it myself. And
Speaker 1: when people I know that's part of their job and
Speaker 1: like who likes that though? Who likes having an associate
Speaker 1: like help them and be like, oh my god, those
Speaker 1: genes are amazing on you, Like trying on things in
Speaker 1: front of someone who you don't know. It's just like,
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess some people like it, because why
Speaker 1: would they keep doing it? I think it's part of
Speaker 1: their day where they can feel like they're like a
Speaker 1: boss of at least someone, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I feel like someone that loves to do that isn't
Speaker 1: getting in other places because they go to fucking gap
Speaker 1: and they're like, oh, can you get this in a
Speaker 1: six for me? It's like okay, yeah, all right, I'll
Speaker 1: do whatever you want because no one else is doing
Speaker 1: anything for you. God, I feel like maybe that's the person.
Speaker 1: But there is something about folding. When you fold your
Speaker 1: like you were saying, like I'll fold a shirt and
Speaker 1: I know. I'll try so hard to do a perfect
Speaker 1: full yes, but it sticks out so bad and it's
Speaker 1: just like I did, I tried. You don't have to
Speaker 1: like I know, dude, but I care, but you don't
Speaker 1: have to tell me how bad the fold ye yes, yes,
Speaker 1: I hate that and they like straighten the racks. You're
Speaker 1: just doing that to let me know that I'm trash
Speaker 1: and like your store is better than and I just
Speaker 1: I want to say, like sometimes I feel such trash
Speaker 1: going into like really nice stores, Like even when we
Speaker 1: were in Cabo, like I didn't want to go in
Speaker 1: that art store because I'm like, I look poor right now,
Speaker 1: and they're gonna like think they're better than me, and
Speaker 1: I just don't want them to think like I. I
Speaker 1: just I just think they're always like looking at me,
Speaker 1: like she doesn't have money for that necklace, Like she's
Speaker 1: like looking at like, oh, but then I realized they're
Speaker 1: making like twelve dollars an hour and they don't have
Speaker 1: money for it either. And that's not a judgment. It's
Speaker 1: just like, why do I think that people inside retail
Speaker 1: locations are like as rich as the clothes that they're not,
Speaker 1: you know, like they're not better than me. You're not
Speaker 1: Mr Gucci. Yeah it's yes. This next Reddit find is
Speaker 1: from uh warts. Sorry about this, but I found one
Speaker 1: that I could share from the one that, like, I'm
Speaker 1: on the most on reddit um and it said my
Speaker 1: aunt bought my ward. This is so weird. Okay, Like
Speaker 1: the title says, my aunt gave me a dollar bill
Speaker 1: and told me that every time I look at the
Speaker 1: ward to remember it's hers and she owns it. Ship
Speaker 1: you not. The ward went away. I was about eight
Speaker 1: years old. Then my older sister had a ward when
Speaker 1: she was twenty eight. I told her the same thing
Speaker 1: our aunt said to me, and it didn't work l
Speaker 1: O L. And I just think that's really funny because
Speaker 1: so much of the things that happened in our bodies
Speaker 1: are psychological and for someone to be like I just
Speaker 1: love how her aunt was like, Hey, a little eight
Speaker 1: year old, here's a dollar your word, it's mine, and
Speaker 1: every time you look at it, I want you to
Speaker 1: remember that I own that. And then it disappeared. I
Speaker 1: think that's so cool. And I just love that woman
Speaker 1: who's just like kind of like a weirdo. I mean,
Speaker 1: I wonder was that her reasoning for doing that the
Speaker 1: whole time like a joke that ended up working out. No,
Speaker 1: I'm sure someone did that to her at one point
Speaker 1: and was like that got rid of her words, because
Speaker 1: a lot of times words are, like a lot of people,
Speaker 1: they're brought on by stress because your immune system can't
Speaker 1: fight off the In fact, I mean it's wards are
Speaker 1: a sign of like a a weak immune system, I believe,
Speaker 1: or most of them are. I'm sure people are gonna
Speaker 1: write to me and be like mine aren't. I have,
Speaker 1: But it's like your body is trying to fight this
Speaker 1: like foreign thing, and like it's it's a sign that
Speaker 1: there's something wrong with your immune system. So a lot
Speaker 1: of times our immune system is like is weakened by
Speaker 1: stress or by just you know, like it's it's I
Speaker 1: literally meditated a fucking cold sore away just by being
Speaker 1: like goodbye, you're done, and it went away. So it's like,
Speaker 1: I do believe that kind of mind trickery can work.
Speaker 1: Speaking of have you guys seen Tyler Henry Life After
Speaker 1: Death on Netflix? Okay, it is so freaking good. Tyler
Speaker 1: Henry is like the celeb medium and can you give
Speaker 1: me a large? Uh No, I don't work here, but
Speaker 1: he's a celeb medium and he can like he was
Speaker 1: like he used to do this show on E speaking
Speaker 1: of I have a show coming out on E Welcome
Speaker 1: Home Nicki Glazer premaring me first. Um, but he had
Speaker 1: the show on E where he would like talk to
Speaker 1: celebrities dead relatives, and I always I never really like
Speaker 1: watched the show. I kind of seen a couple of
Speaker 1: episodes and I'm like, alright, like he was a young
Speaker 1: kid that just had this gift. But watching this show
Speaker 1: on Netflix, Tyler Henry, Life After Life, After Death, it
Speaker 1: is so good. He is so sweet. I love him
Speaker 1: so much, and he really, more than anything I've ever
Speaker 1: seen in my life, makes me believe that there is
Speaker 1: indeed an afterlife and like those that leave us are
Speaker 1: somewhere out there, and like he, more than anything, has
Speaker 1: made me feel like we're not just like nothing when
Speaker 1: we die, like something happens, final thought, Like it is
Speaker 1: so wild, you guys. He he doesn't even understand his gift.
Speaker 1: He's like, I don't know what this is that I'm getting.
Speaker 1: I don't know where these people are, I don't know
Speaker 1: what what this what I'm getting. But he just scribbles
Speaker 1: on a notebook and he gets messages that is just
Speaker 1: uncanny information that these people. And I'm the biggest skeptic
Speaker 1: when it comes to the stuff, and a lot of
Speaker 1: these people are skeptics as well. And I went to
Speaker 1: his website because I was like, I want to sign
Speaker 1: up for a reading, and it says like he doesn't
Speaker 1: want to know anything about you before he meets you.
Speaker 1: He likes to go into them cold, kind of like
Speaker 1: how I like to do stand up, Like I don't
Speaker 1: want to walk out into and see this theater. I
Speaker 1: don't want to, Like Andrew likes to like see what
Speaker 1: the theater looks like and look at the microphone and like,
Speaker 1: and I'm just like, I just want to go into
Speaker 1: it because I don't want to like, yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: a lot of people want to do that, but I
Speaker 1: just want to go into it cold. But I think
Speaker 1: that's really cool that he does that because it takes
Speaker 1: away any thing that you're like, oh my god, he
Speaker 1: does research. I mean, this kid is not someone who
Speaker 1: is like trying to trick people or like well an
Speaker 1: example is just specific names, specific ways people died, specific
Speaker 1: inside jokes, um, just him being able to really capture
Speaker 1: someone's like how they passed um how what what there didn't?
Speaker 1: Demeanor was like He'll just like but it's really funny though,
Speaker 1: because I mean it wasn't funny. It's like so tragic.
Speaker 1: But there's this one episode where he was um trying.
Speaker 1: He was talking to these two girls that he met
Speaker 1: at a like he met these two girls at a bar.
Speaker 1: He didn't meet them at a bar, but that's where
Speaker 1: he was doing the reading. And they were at the
Speaker 1: bar and they came in and he's like, this girl
Speaker 1: really likes to dance. But on the way there, he
Speaker 1: was getting signed. So they show him on the way
Speaker 1: there and he's like talking. He doesn't drive, so he's
Speaker 1: either talking to his mom or his assistant and he's like,
Speaker 1: he looks like mcaulay culkin. He is so sweet and
Speaker 1: just like so polite and just like kind of like
Speaker 1: a sat like a little bit of a sassy gay guy.
Speaker 1: He's he's just but he's so sweet and kind to
Speaker 1: these people. And he goes through so much because he
Speaker 1: deals with so much death and like talking to the
Speaker 1: dead and like feeling their feelings for whatever reason, like
Speaker 1: he can just like he doesn't even understand what he's
Speaker 1: what he's being able to process, like he doesn't have
Speaker 1: the answers for us, but um, it just is really
Speaker 1: emotional for him. So I actually feel like he suffers
Speaker 1: with a lot of depression. In fact, I know he
Speaker 1: does because his mom will be like, people don't know
Speaker 1: this about you, Tyler, but like you just stay in
Speaker 1: bed all day long on your days off, like you
Speaker 1: don't get out of bed. And He's like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean it's draining. And I'm like, oh my god, that's
Speaker 1: I relate to that so much because he's such a
Speaker 1: cheery person when he's like around these people and he's
Speaker 1: like so empathetic and like gives everything, and then on
Speaker 1: his days off, you don't recognize him because he's just
Speaker 1: so depressed. And he's like so like, I really I
Speaker 1: reached out to him on Instagram because I'm like, I
Speaker 1: really relate to you. I like, not that I said
Speaker 1: I relate to you, but I just love him and
Speaker 1: I want him to be okay, and I want to
Speaker 1: be his friend, um and not so I can talk
Speaker 1: to my dad relatives, like I just want to know him.
Speaker 1: But so these this one, these two girls he meets
Speaker 1: up with, UM, they're like he's like so on the
Speaker 1: way here, I was really feeling like confused and like
Speaker 1: kind of like woozy and dizzy, almost like I'm drunk,
Speaker 1: like really drunk. And they're like, m okay. And then
Speaker 1: they're like he's like, I really like I feel like
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna dance, but this person like really like
Speaker 1: to dance and like likes to have a good time.
Speaker 1: They're like, that's her, that's her, that's her. She's coming through,
Speaker 1: and they're like, he's like, she's giving me these signs
Speaker 1: of like so he does a bunch of stuff that
Speaker 1: it's like obviously. He's like also like I'm just feeling
Speaker 1: like the way this person passed, it's very confusing, and
Speaker 1: there's a lot of stuff going on, and there's like
Speaker 1: something coming from above own like I don't know what
Speaker 1: it is, and I'm like, oh, I know exactly what
Speaker 1: this is because the girls were like she loved country music.
Speaker 1: And then he's like, it's confusing, there's things coming from
Speaker 1: this way down and I'm like it was the Vegas
Speaker 1: country music shooting and I nailed I mean, I don't
Speaker 1: want to say I nailed it, but I like called
Speaker 1: I was like I know what this is, and it was.
Speaker 1: But the funny thing, the thing that I found humorous
Speaker 1: out of this tragic situation was like they totally he
Speaker 1: on the way out, he's talking to his assistant afterwards,
Speaker 1: because on the way there, he's like, I'm just feeling
Speaker 1: like I'm drunk or something like I'm feeling really and
Speaker 1: he starts to get premonitions, even like the night before.
Speaker 1: He's going into these meetings and he never knows who
Speaker 1: he's going to meet with. And on the way out,
Speaker 1: his assistance like, how was it, and he's like, I
Speaker 1: don't know. It was just like this girl like she
Speaker 1: was lost, you know, she got shot in the Vegas
Speaker 1: Maus shooting and it was really sad because he's like
Speaker 1: describing like she was so confused and they totally the
Speaker 1: girls totally missed it. But he was like, she I
Speaker 1: just want to let you know that she passed, Like
Speaker 1: she wasn't in pain. It happened really fast and like
Speaker 1: she was wasted as fuck. Like that was the part
Speaker 1: that like they kind of paused over and was like
Speaker 1: this girl, like not only was there a mass treating
Speaker 1: going on and people are going everywhere, but this girl
Speaker 1: was trashed and they were like she loved a party,
Speaker 1: but it was it was just an interesting thing that
Speaker 1: he was able to like. At the time, she was
Speaker 1: riding a mechanical bull, you know, so you know she
Speaker 1: was having a time of her life. She just took
Speaker 1: a shot of Yeager. I mean, yes, it is, it
Speaker 1: is what it is. It is. I just love like,
Speaker 1: like I like those things because it's like he leads
Speaker 1: up to it and like someone could guess, like he
Speaker 1: could guess really all, like he's had to really messed up,
Speaker 1: you know, I want to see the out take. I
Speaker 1: mean there was one time though, where he keeps saying
Speaker 1: something and they're like, we don't know what that is,
Speaker 1: Like we we don't recognize everysode. He's like, it's a
Speaker 1: little old lady and she's wearing like and they're just
Speaker 1: like no, and he's like, god, I just keep adding
Speaker 1: this like I want her to get out of here,
Speaker 1: but this woman keeps coming through. And then he was like,
Speaker 1: is there anyone like in this vicinity like that maybe
Speaker 1: is here right now? Like and they're like our neighbor
Speaker 1: and he's like, can you ask her to come out?
Speaker 1: And this neighbor comes out like in a mask, and
Speaker 1: this whole show is shot during COVID, but you wouldn't
Speaker 1: know it because they always try to hide that. This
Speaker 1: woman comes out in a mask, she's walking her dog,
Speaker 1: and she's like, He's like, I'm sorry, I don't mean
Speaker 1: to involve you in this. Is there any way that
Speaker 1: you And she's like, oh my god, oh my god,
Speaker 1: like starts freaking out. Totally not a plant, like I
Speaker 1: know when TV is like fucking with me. I'm such
Speaker 1: a skeptic to all of it. There was another time
Speaker 1: where there was supposed to be a woman there um
Speaker 1: and she didn't show up because she was like two
Speaker 1: affected by it, like her son and her husband like
Speaker 1: killed themselves in the same year and she found them
Speaker 1: and it was just so tragic that I'm probably she
Speaker 1: didn't want to be on camera. And he kept seeing
Speaker 1: he kept hearing jingling keys, even on the way there.
Speaker 1: He's like, I keep getting jingling keys. And so he
Speaker 1: gets there and the two women that are there like, no,
Speaker 1: we don't know what that is. And they called their
Speaker 1: aunt afterwards and we're like, do you know I think
Speaker 1: about keys? And she's like, are you kidding me? Are
Speaker 1: you serious? They're like he said they were jingling keys?
Speaker 1: And she's like, I have their keys and I like
Speaker 1: play with them all the time, and they could never
Speaker 1: find their keys. And it was our big running jokes,
Speaker 1: like so many inside jokes like that, Like it's made
Speaker 1: me a true believer in the afterlife and like I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna haunt the funk out of you if something
Speaker 1: ever happens to me. Just know that, like I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be like, just couldn't can I can I ask you?
Speaker 1: Can I ask a question? Though? Does it go into
Speaker 1: like how he got his start, because I always wonder
Speaker 1: how did they find out that there they they have
Speaker 1: this talent? Did he do like one celebrity like like Madonna?
Speaker 1: And then it like I don't know how they got
Speaker 1: into the celebrity realm so so much, but I do
Speaker 1: know that his first premonition was like about his grandmother,
Speaker 1: Like his mom just like got the phone one day
Speaker 1: and he and he was was like he had up
Speaker 1: he had a feeling his grandma. He just like knew
Speaker 1: she was dead. Like one day he was like I know,
Speaker 1: he like sat up in bed or something, and then
Speaker 1: his mom came in the room, was like Grandma just died.
Speaker 1: And He's like and then he just like he had
Speaker 1: an old teacher come in and his teacher was like,
Speaker 1: this kid was quiet the whole whole year. He was like,
Speaker 1: you know, he's like this gay kid and this like
Speaker 1: kind of rural northern California or like southern California county.
Speaker 1: And his teacher was like, one day I found out
Speaker 1: my mother in law died and I was sitting in
Speaker 1: class and I just taught and like I was kind
Speaker 1: of exhausted and I was just trying to phone it
Speaker 1: in and afterwards, Tyler just sat there and was like,
Speaker 1: you know, um, and she was like Tyler, what do
Speaker 1: you need? And he's like, I just want you to know.
Speaker 1: Like she's really glad that you got the kids to
Speaker 1: like you, Like she waited until she saw the kids,
Speaker 1: and it was really cool of you to get the
Speaker 1: kids there, and she's like, what are you talking about.
Speaker 1: He's like, Lucille says I Like, like Lucille is like
Speaker 1: really proud of you, and she's like no one called
Speaker 1: her Lucille. We all called her Nan. And I had
Speaker 1: made it so that the kids get to say goodbye
Speaker 1: to her, like I'd rushed the kids there because we
Speaker 1: knew she was going and she held on for the kids.
Speaker 1: What I've learned is that a lot of people hold
Speaker 1: on and like can die, like can wait to die,
Speaker 1: and a lot of people that's what like, there's a
Speaker 1: lot of people being like, I waited till you got there,
Speaker 1: that he waited and I'm just waiting for him to
Speaker 1: tell someone like the person doesn't forgive you. They don't
Speaker 1: like they died in pain because everyone's like there there
Speaker 1: was no they forgive you, and you know stuff like that.
Speaker 1: So I mean, I'm sure they just don't show that
Speaker 1: stuff because it's so heartbreaking and he is such a
Speaker 1: sweet boy that you can tell that he would maybe
Speaker 1: keep that back and keep that to himself. I just
Speaker 1: love him so much. I really recommend the show. So
Speaker 1: that's our show today. Thank you for listening, sor sorry,
Speaker 1: We're we love you. We'll be here to borrow and
Speaker 1: we'll find out what God listen Topeka and Sharrow Jack